#this picture went through so many changes but I think I learned a lot

[heartfullofleeches]

[brief mentions of non-consensual touching]

I kinda wanna flesh out yan cheater and "cheater" reader more. Fuel up the angst. I'm thinking high school sweethearts who promised to be each other's first as they went off to college. Yan sees the whole thing with reader with another person and goes to a friend for comfort. The friend sees this as an opportunity to tear the two apart as Yan was previously going to join their band instead of a straight shot to college. A few drinks down they're kissing the first person who makes eye contact with them at the party, forgetting all about their woes and promises - and skipping town without closure or a proper goodbye to their lover.

Couple years down the line and they're now a big shot - carrying little resemblance of the person they once were. Shows sold out in every venue and a different fan on their lap every night. They all have some feature that reminds Yan of their former flame which they muddle over to the very day their paths cross again.

Their latest tour leads them to a familiar place. A town where nothing ever happened and everything stayed the same. They learn their ex is still working hard for their degree and takes night shifts at a nearby gas station. The tension is thick from the moment they walk in. They didn't even want to be there, but it was the only station in close proximity. What do you even say to someone who's caused so much heart break after all this time?

"That'll be 21.10... Cash or credit?"

That's it.... After everything you put them through. After all those nights they spent crying over you - and craving your warmth in their bed. The future that you pictured together. The life you dream of in each other's arms. You tarnished what little hope they had - and that's all you could say to them...

"A "how've you been?" would've been nice...."

"I have nothing to say to the person who abandoned me. Can't even say that much since you hardly remind me of them."

Really classy from the one who caused this mess in the first place.

"Don't act like you're free of any guilt in this... I saw you with them that day... You seemed a lot more cozy with that stranger than you ever did with me."

"Stranger, what are you...." Your eyes dart around the room as the gears in your head click. Pulling out your phone, you fight back tears as you show them a picture of that stranger. "Is this who you're talking about?...."

Please say no....

They scoff. "So you do know who I'm talking about. You still together or did you run off with someone else same as you did me?"

The sadness and pain just... vanishes. All these years, you thought you had been the problem. Made to many promises. Loved then too much or too little. From what it seemed like now - they were the one who never loved you enough.

"That's my cousin....."

They didn't hear you - they couldn't. Couldnt acknowledge that maybe...

"What?"

"That's my fucking cousin, asshole."

Everything they ever believed was the painstaking truth - was a only a cruel misunderstanding.

"We hadn't seen each other's since we were kids. Their mom had just died... I tried calling you when I got home, but you weren't there. Did you seriously think I cheated on you? And you just ran away?..."

"I....you...." Were their everything. When they saw you that night the pressure of every problem weighting down on them finally snapped. They couldn't think rationally at that time - if only if they'd put the faith in you they always prided themself in having.

"You coward...." You throw their change across the counter, adding issult to injury as you point for the door.

"Get out of my store. Get out of my life."

"Y/n, wait..please."

"I said... GET OUT!"

The foundation of their new self crumbles. After your alleged betrayal they rebuilt themselves from the ground up as an overconfident, self serving individual, but like everything else to this point - it was all a lie. There were always those days they wondered "what if". What if they had stayed. What if they had tried to fix what had broken in your relationship. Knowing the truth, those fantasies return with vengeance. The truth would've came sooner and the wounds to mend would have been lesser. You'd talk over the miscommunication and they'd apologize fully by taking you out to your favorite restaurant. You'd start school together the upcoming fall. You'd kiss and make love and enjoy fleeting youth as one. There'd always be rough patches, but in the end you always had each other.

That's how things should have been.

They spiral - crawling to the closest bar to relinquish their pain the only way they knew how beyond finding someone new to bed. The thought of sleeping with anyone that wasn't you made them nearly lose the alcohol poisoning their system. Had you been dating since then? Had you given yourself to someone? Did they make you feel loved and saved - just as they should've

By the end of the night they wound up too drunk to even stand on their own feet. The bartender asked for a number to call to have someone pick them up. They gave the only number they could remember after all these years - and intoxicated.

The drive to their hotel room is quiet. You had nothing to say while they had the world - but none of it was anything you wanted to hear. You just wanted this night to be over so you could go back to forgetting they ever existed.

You help them into their room and give them some water from the sink. Despite everything they've done, you didn't have the heart to leave them like they did you.

"Drink. You need to flush out your system. You'll probably have a headache in the morning, but that's none of my concern."

".....how many people have you slept with, Y/n?"

You place the cup on the nightstand. "This isn't the type of conversation we should have right now."

"Have you been with anyone - or are you still waiting for that special person? I've done a lot of shit I'm not proud of, but at least they've given me experience. I can make your first the best. I can make love to you better than anyone. I already know you better than they do...."

Their hands creep around your waist, hugging your midsection same as they use to on school nights when their parents forbade guests - and you crawled through their window anyway. They always held you like you meant the universe to them. You still do.

Their lips gloss over your exposed stomach as your shirt crawls upwards, heavy tears staining your skin. "Just one night. That's all I need to prove myself to you. We were made for each other. Let's forget about the past for one night and pick up where we left off. A promise is still a promise - even if it's broken.

Their fingers dip below your waistband. You immediately shove them off you and to the floor. "Are you fucking insane?! You can't forget something like what you put me through. I've been so afraid of connecting with anyone because I'm scared they'd just run off like you did. I'm finally becoming me again- and I won't let you take that back from me. Don't call me."

The door slams as you storm out - reverberations their sole companion in their misery. This is the same thing they did to you. They deserve to be alone, to suffer - but they can't. It'll kill them. They can't live without you...and soon enough you won't be to live without them. You're soulmates, meant to be. They have power now - influence. They can support you however you need-

And destory everything that gets in the way of your happy ending.

[theflashjaygarrick]

People have spent so much time fleshing out random background male characters and so for feminism I am going to give one of DC's under appreciated female characters this treatment . I am absolutely fascinated by Joan Garrick as a character. DC is not. But who am I to let that stop me.

So what are some things we know about Joan Garrick (née Williams). One is that she met Jay Garrick when they were both students at college. More potential context was given by Millar and Morrison in the iconic Jay focused Flash (vol 2) #134. Here we learn that at the present time she is teaching microbiology and based on the fact that in my experience a specific microbiology subject is more common in university and she's heading in for specific classes not the school day I can infer she is a lecturer/professor. These few facts paint a picture of an awesome and boundary breaking woman in her own right.

We can assume she was in college in the 1930s. This makes sense. After all the 30s was the first generation where (almost entirely white and middle class) women attended colleges in greater numbers and with more social acceptance then before. They became symbols of newfound female independence and education. But at the same time they faced a lot of obstacles , particularly in co-ed institutions like Midwestern University. She still had to navigate her way through a very male dominated institution that did not take her seriously if they wanted her to be there at all. Along with the change in female education came cultural backlash both within and outside the academy. Misogynistic (and racist) detractors viewed female higher education as frivolous, unsuitable for women's 'fragile physiology' and even saw it as the 'suicide' of the middle-class white American family. Yeah these people were the fucking worst. Anyway, being a female student at a university in that era meant dealing with and overcoming all kinds of bullshit from exclusion to outright harassment (even more than it does now).

And then there is the fact that she apparently studied biology (or microbiology more specially) in a time where most women pursued degrees in teaching or nursing (if they planned to use it vocationally) or liberal arts (if they did not). Women were actively discouraged from taking science courses and Joan would have been trying to enter an even more hostile boys club whilst fighting against even greater social pressure. But despite it all she seemingly did succeed and presumably help break barriers for women in science which is awesome.

And we can see this refusal to back down in her personality. Joan's kindness is matched by her tenacity and her 'do first, ask for permission later' personality, which whether forged through her experiences in academic or before-hand helped her persevere overcome the many obstacles she would have faced. She's an absolute badass.

Now this is not strictly relevant but she also knew Jay was the flash the whole time which is really sweet. I personally like to think she figured it out because he kept asking her really specific questions about human metabolism and the like (biology seemingly is Jay's scientific blindspot) and she put two and two together. Also he just innately trusts her with his secret which is cute considering how much secret identity drama silver age couples went through.

[soniclozdplove]

"SO WHAT IF I LIKE TO WEAR FEMININE CLOTHING EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE! I'm allowed to feel comfortable without having an outdated, sexist PIG judge me!"

Wukong roared, fangs bared as he pushed Zu Baije to the floor, slamming the door behind him as he stormed out.

"Well, that didn't go well at all."

Tang Sanzang sighed as Baije began yelling at Ao Lie, trying to defend himself from the dragon's judgement. Things had been tensed ever since Wukong had stormed out. Turning to his quietest disciple he spoke calmly and evenly,

"What do you think of all of this, Brother Wujing?"

The demon fish grunted, looking about the small home. It had a cozy, lived in feeling to it. Not barren by any means but also certainly not the lavish palace that they had once thought one such as Wukong would have boasted. It was cluttered, full of odd knick knacks and an excessive amount of books and cushions and an almost insane amount of potted plants in every corner of the room and along the ceiling. The strange instant portraits Wukong had called pictures littered the walls and mantle between the jungle, depicting many scenes of Wukong with a variety of figures, the young boy he trained being the most prominent figure in the pictures.

"I think the world has changed a lot, and it would be a good idea for us to adapt to it." Wujing finally spoke, glancing at a picture of a buff water demon that looked far too similar to himself to be a coincidence, "Unlike us, Brother Wukong had grown and adapted into their world as it's world views and changes in culture happened, he is not the same Sun Wukong we know."

"You think so as well, then." Tang murmured, thinking over what he'd learned in the past few hours. By some miracle or curse, they had ended up several thousand years into the future. In a world where his most terrifying and troublesome ward, the horrible monster known as the Monkey King, somehow ended up becoming a teacher to a student of his own. A young man close to Tang's own age who went by the moniker of MK, wild and restless yet somehow endearing at the same time. Said young man had run off saying something about 'letting them catch up' and helping with some sort of clean up.

"I think it's best to let Brother Wukong cool off." The monk continued, eyeing their arguing siblings, "His anger did not feel malicious, moreso a boiling point being reached. Our appearance was very stressful to him."

That was an understatement. The moment they appeared in this world, awoken washed upon the shore to the screaming of Wukong raving and cursing every god out there and as well as a figure he called 'Azure,' he had an undercurrent of stress and panic to him. No doubt the cuase being the unexpected arrival of his pilgrim brothers in the modern day, as according to Wukong they had been dead for quite some centuries at that point. All he'd tell of the journey when asked was that they had completed it, but he refused to tell more for "fear that me giving spoilers would ruin it for you." A fear that Tang realized was rooted in worry for how their presence and what they took from it may affect his current future the moment Wukong had stood his ground against them, protecting his student and caught onto what Wukong had stopped himself from saying.

Wukong had been about to call the other young man his cub.

Whilst he was meditating on the memory of Wukong and MK, Sha Wujing drifted off, looking to intervene between his fellow disciples. Only to be torn from his repose as the shouting turned more panicked, myltiple voices calling to him. Glancing up, Tang felt fear shoot through him as he noticed the strange shadow on the wall growing and expanding. A large hand swiftly grabbed his shoulder and shoved him him behind Ao Lie, the dragon putting himself between the shadow and himself, wary.

"Well, this is quite the surprise." A deep voice rang put as glowing purple eyes and a sharp fanged mouth appeared within the shadow and the lights in the room began to dim, "The Pilgrims of the Great Journey, all in the modern day. How interesting."

"Wh-who are you?" Tang stuttered as a figure came out of the shadow. It was another monkey, one as dark as night and shadows, with gleaming purple eyes that faded into a familiar gold and a mask as red as blood in the shape of a butterfly. The monkey stalked around them like a panther, appraising them with a smug expression the whole time. Mocking them.

"Ooh-ho. I'm not that important, certainly not as important as my king's dear, precious little pilgrims!" The monkey taunted, "If you need a name, though. I prefer Macaque, the Six-Eared Macaque. I came running when I heard Wukong getting all upset and found, to my surprise, the same people who are always upsetting him in his living room! Little far from home, ain't ya?"

"Macaque!?" Ao Lie blurted out, sounding surprised, "But doesn't that make you-!?"

"Oh? Did he tell you?" Macaque laugh, interrupting the dragon who pouted, "No surprises there. You always were his favorite. Although from what I hears you're a bit early, aren't you? Just how far into the journey did you guys get!?"

"What does that matter to you!?" The pig grunted suspiciously, making Macaque's grin sharpen to a dangerous point as his voice deepens.

"It tells me if I should be nice to you or not."

[astrolovecosmos]

I went down a rabbit hole to learn about the asteroid Wolff (5674) and I'm low-key obsessed with this little obscure asteroid. I have struggled to find a lot of good information about this asteroid in astrological terms. So below is more of a theoretical take from what I've read, researched, and then speculation based on my own knowledge.

This asteroid is most known for signaling an affiliation with or love of wolves, dogs, and canines. Some other interpretations could be someone's survival instincts, the hunter archetype, a connection to animals, a wild side, being a lone wolf, maybe even painting a picture of belonging, such as belonging to a pack.

Find where this asteroid is in your chart by using a custom chart reader like astro.com has and inputting the asteroid number - 5674

Wolff in Aries: Has warrior-instinct and approaches their more animalistic side with bravery. Faces challenges head-on. Maybe gets carried away when competitive, angry, or even bored. Has a confrontational side. Is comfortable being the leader but even more comfortable with their sharp teeth.

Wolff in Taurus: May have a closeness to the earth, nature, and/or animals. This placement can highlight themes of resourcefulness, loyalty, and a strong connection to the senses. Can be influential to others and gain followers through patience and consistency.

Wolff in Gemini: A curious animal. They have a keen interest in exploring ideas, gathering info, and engaging in intellectual pursuits. May highlight a quick-thinking, sociable nature, with a talent for multitasking and connecting with others. Wolff in Gemini has a drive to express oneself, share knowledge, and remain flexible in thought and action.

Wolff in Cancer: Has primal instincts and intuition with a focus on nurturing and protecting others. Has a deep attachment and association with many "wolf" things such as the moon, moodiness or volatile emotions, strong loyalty and sense of tradition, and a focus on family or their kin - pack.

Wolff in Leo: Is filled with themes of pride, loyalty, and a natural ability to inspire or lead others with enthusiasm and warmth. Wants to stand out among their kin in a way that is seen as bold, benevolent, or worthy. Can have a fierce side and it doesn't take much to get in touch with their inner animal.

Wolff in Virgo: Can have a love and passion for the environment and health. They get in touch with the natural world in a highly practical way. May have a strong sense of duty to their "pack". Has a sharp, untamed intellect that seeks to perfect and refine with an almost obsessive drive. Can have an unyielding urge to dissect and improve everything.

Wolff in Libra: Has a deep drive for connection through nature. They understand a natural sort of harmony in life, people, the world via nature or animals. Is highly social and truly a "pack" animal. May manifest as a fierce desire for fairness and justice, pushing boundaries to achieve equilibrium in relationships and social interactions.

Wolff in Scorpio: Has an association with wolves through one of the animals the sign is compared to in their transformations. The fact that sea wolves exist and killer whales hunt a lot like wolves is a sign that water has a connection to the animal, along with the earth element which has a connection to all of nature. The primal instincts of Wolff in Scorpio are mysterious and powerful. This placement suggests a drive for uncovering hidden truths, navigating emotional depths, and embracing change on a profound level. The wild side of this placement might manifest as a relentless pursuit of power and control, particularly in areas of intimacy, psychology, or the occult.

Wolff in Sagittarius: Embodies a wild, adventurous spirit that seeks truth, freedom, and exploration. Could be extroverted or open about their inner wildness. Truly has a hunter's instinct. Wolff in Sagittarius can highlight a love for the unknown, a passion for philosophical or spiritual exploration, and a desire to break free from limitations. This placement encourages embracing the untamed aspects of life, driven by an insatiable curiosity.

Wolff in Capricorn: Can have a deep appreciation for nature. May want to protect or conserve nature or history. May manifest as an intense drive to conquer challenges and rise to positions of power, often through perseverance and strategic planning. Is patient and may have the "coldness" or "ruthlessness" of nature. Is all about endurance, impact, legacy, and tradition. Their wild side can exist in a highly tangible way somehow.

Wolff in Aquarius: This is a rebellious, unpredictable, and chaotic lone wolf. There's a potential for a radical approach to solving problems, embracing the future, and connecting with like-minded individuals in unique or unexpected ways. They can represent the follower and conformist as well as the leader or outsider and unconventional in our most basic human instincts. Their feral side may be strangely familiar or human.

Wolff in Pisces: Has a mystical, intuitive energy that connects deeply with emotions, dreams, and the unconscious. The wild side of Wolff in Pisces may manifest as a powerful drive to explore spiritual realms, embrace creativity, and dissolve boundaries between the self and the collective. Can find inspiration and/or wisdom in nature. This placement encourages embracing the unseen and the intangible, using imagination and feeling as guides through life's complexities.

More history on the asteroid here.

[meanbossart]

I appreciate how you write Astarion so, SO much. I feel like way too many fic writers infantilize him to a point where I honestly start wondering if I'm the one who misinterpreted him so badly.

I'd love to know more about what you think of his character and his arc. Personally I saw him and immediately went "oh god this guy is gonna be the irritating tumblr sexyman of the year🙄" and it took me until Araj basically to warm up to him. What were your initial thoughts and did they change much while playing the game?

OH thank you so much!!! That's a shame if it's the case, and a little surprising to me, to be honest! While he's definitely written be an aloof jerk a lot of the time, I always found him to be surprisingly mature and introspective whenever he's not dishing out witty remarks. He comes off to me as the kind of person who learned to benefit from seeming dumber than he actually is, overall.

HAHA I had a VERY similar experience, not just towards Astarion but all the characters, really (I really disliked Shadowheart at the beginning, too). I had only seen pictures of him and pretty much expected a vapid character that was being carried to stardom because of a talented VA - and because people go nuts for anne rice style vampires lol.

While I was definitely enjoying his voice lines from the start (Again kudos to Neil) I definitely wasn't expecting much else. He piqued my interest after so devastatingly turning my character down at the tiefling party without me even having inquired, and that's when I, the gamer, was like "well, alright, I GOTTA fuck this guy now" (this is also where DU drow's personality began to come out as you can probably guess)

Obviously, if you have two neurons to rub together you can gather pretty quickly that he's not trying to woo you because you're so interesting and wonderful, so I started getting curious! With that dynamic being so different from what you usually expect of romances in these types of games, plus the charming way in which he is written, I started being won over.

I think what really did it was how gradually his attitude changed when responding to new, mostly trivial dialogue options and doing his greetings as you earned his trust, and ESPECIALLY with how he responds to your tav when you express any kind of fear or insecurity during his romance - which was with a lot of sincerity and confidence in his resolve to support you, and in you as a person, a complete 180 from his usual front - Which, again, makes me all the more surprised to hear that he's often painted with such an immature brush.

And obviously he has a DEEPLY ugly side to him (if you've read ANE, hopefully it's clear that I know this, and that I like to explore it just as much as anything else lmao) but it's very interesting to me how it seem to always come in the form of outbursts, rather than a constant evil-streak, usually followed by a glimpse of self-awareness. It feels very much in line with someone who's actually making a great deal of effort to manage their RAMPANT emotions and going through a lot of internal conflict in the process.

GAH. Yeah if you can't tell by this friggin' thesis I just wrote, I love the way they wrote this character a lot and I was definitely proven PROFOUNDLY wrong in my first impression of him - which, if that's not irony at it's finest I don't know what is.

And as an aside! I also very much appreciate that he's a "queer" coded character who's effeminate (in the Old Homo kind of way, but I digress) and flamboyant, but taken Dead Fucking Seriously. With as much progress as we've made in LGBT rep in media, I still often feel like gay men will only get that kind of treatment for as long as they "Aren't That Gay" (I know Astarion doesn't have a set sexuality - But lets not mince words: stereotypes exist, and he fits into most of them) and as a thin-wristed gay guy who's a little too found of linen shirts, I can honestly say that experiencing a character like that helped me with my own confidence.

[idvlover]

Hi! Can I have hcs with Naib, Luca and Wu Chang with a fragile s/o, like they want to become stronger but they need some help and lot of time.

Also I can send you some pictures of my shrimps (yes I have a aquarium with shrimps) if you want!!! (I don't know if shrimps are considered as pet).

I'm so sorry this took so long 😭

Naib, Wu Chang, and Luca with a fragile s/o who wants to be stronger:

Wu Chang:

Xie has always been trying to be careful with s/o during matches. Knowing that they aren't the strongest survivor, but they aren't the weakest either. Xie basically has a soft spot for them

Fan, on the other hand. Does not go easy on them like Xie does, but if his s/o really needs the break. He'll let them take a breather and change target

S/o was getting tired of struggling in so many matches, losing constantly, rinse, and repeat. Even if the match was a win, s/o was already back at the manor

So they went up to their lovers one day and asked for a custom match. Just the three of them

The two were confused but accepted

It was lost after loss again, and s/o was growing increasingly frustrated

Fan was actually the first one to put a halt to everything. Seeing that they were getting upset.

"Alright, something is the matter."

"I just wanted practice.."

"Practice until your knees break?"

When s/o explained everything, it made a lot of sense now

The two agreed to help them, but they help them through training methods and not just out right letting them wing it

Fan and Xie go outside of their abilities to give s/o harder courses. Which scared the shit out of them because the last thing they expected is for the two to full on SPRINT and also pull off some flexible moves

The worst one yet is when Fan was on the ceiling waiting for s/o to come through. He did that because he thought it was funny

When they get back out into the actual matches. S/o is doing much better than before

But when they enter duo's. It's a bit of a different story. Xie and Fan did teach them about getting through duo's by treating each other as different hunters than one. The only problem is that hunters like to target s/o for easy pickings and won't let up no matter what

Fan decided he wanted to be fully present in those matches rather than switch out. Not because he doesn't think s/o can't handle it, but he does not trust the other hunter to keep their cool when they realize s/o is not an easy grab anymore

There have been a few times when Fan had to fight a hunter. Those days are actually when he lets everyone win for the sake of not letting the hunter have satisfaction

Xie is very proud of s/o, though that some times he needed to be reminded that he needed to chair them, not let them kite him the entire match

Luca:

The strongest out of some of the decoders, considering his vaulting speed and pallet throws aren't slow. Average, but not slow either

He normally prefers to coordinate the match to help s/o stay in longer, such as carefully picking ciphers that aren't close to the hunter

This annoyed survivors some, but he didn't care honestly. With how some of them treat his s/o, he may or may not have led hunters to them and force them to take over kiting

His s/o asked him for help one day and told him that they wanted to learn how to kite better in matches. At first, he tried to direct them towards someone like Norton, Melly, or even Margie, or Patricia

Then they told him why they're asking him. He's fairly good at multi-tasking and knows all the best ways to lose a hunter when he is found first.

So, he begins helping them in custom matches with a hunter he trusts

It was really rough at first to the point that even the hunter was like: "Uh, I think they need a break. Like now."

Luca is trying to think of ways to teach them better because maybe the hunter isn't the best idea. So HE decides to pretend to be the hunter

He says shit like: "C'MERE PRETTY BOY/GIRL/DARLING!" While chasing them. He's also always yelling outta pocket shit

Yet this actually helped s/o improve significantly

So when Luca brings the hunter back, s/o is actually doing pretty well! Sure, they got captured once or twice, but they did really good!

Now, when the two go back in real matches. Luca tells them that if they need someone to take over, he won't mind kitting. They reassure him they'll be fine.

Boy, was everyone amazed with how well s/o was doing. All those months of practicing paid off. This made other survivors relieved as this means Luca won't lead the hunters to them anymore when he's mad at them

Naib:

Naib protects his s/o in matchs... CONSTANTLY. One of the reasons why s/o even makes it through a match

He's always next to them, working a cipher, taking over kites for them, taking hits for them, and will not hesitate to drag/carry their ass across the map to an open gate

Then his s/o asked him while they were getting ready to sleep one night if he could train them to do better in matches. He questioned them about it, and they gave a simple answer of wanting to be self-reliant when he's not in matches with them.

Which he finds understandable. So he agrees to it

And yes, he did use training military techniques on them. He was nicer about it, though... Unlike his trainers

He would also train with them. He wanted them to build up their lower and upper body strength before he had a hunter chase them

Naib is very encouraging about it. If they're starting to tire out, he'll encourage them to do two more then take a break

He also had them spare with him. They were super wobbly and unbalanced about it. He would give them tips on what to do and what not to do

He didn't exactly go easy on them when they were sparing, but he wasn't brutal. He will immediately stop if his s/o tells him to or if it's clear they are getting overwhelmed

When he finally let's them do a custom match. He is watching that hunter like a hawk. Doesn't matter how will known the hunter is known for friendliness he is making sure they don't fuck his s/o over

He coached them through those custom matches for months.

He may have probably trained them too well for any hunters liking because once they were back on the real matches, so many hunters would get frustrated and change target

Naib would praise them when he sees them at some point in the match

But, Naib still wants to decode next to them. Old habits die hard

He's still going to be protective no matter what. He adores his s/o too much. This also means he might watch them kite rather than decode

Helena literally dragged him away by the arm, telling him he needed to decode before crows appeared

[fletchingbrilliant]

🌙some wildly cheap commissions!🌙

🙃 for some even wilder reasons 🙃

hey y'all. long post thingie but it's got cute pictures so please check it out

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hey frens got something kinda somber to talk about. most of you are very aware of the existence of my beautiful fiance and co-creator of basically everything i do. zae and i are getting handfasted (marriage for pagans) in october, and have been living together for about 10 years. in 2021, zae got really fucking sick, and after a few false starts, was diagnosed with a rare for of vasculitis called granulomatosis with polyangiitis, GPA for short. it’s an autoimmune disease that causes inflammation in blood vessels and other tissues, ultimately stopping blood from getting to the parts of the body that need it, affecting many areas, but primarily the respiratory system. while the cause isn’t known, it usually presents in people in their 50’s or 60’s, but complications from a third bout of covid-19 appears to have made it emerge way earlier for our boy. at least, that’s what we think. his case is extremely aggressive, advancing faster than anyone could have expected. in zae’s case, it actually attacked his kidneys first, and then went after his lungs, causing both to threaten shutting down for good. he was extremely anemic and needed a ton of transfusions, narrowly avoiding dialysis, and we spent weeks in the hospital keeping him alive. he was placed on two different kinds of chemotherapy to combat the disorder. he lost his hair, went through even more fatigue and pain on top of what the disease had already put him through, and had to accept a plethora of changes to his life that will last forever. a lot of you out there have harrowing experiences of your own when it comes to chronic and potentially terminal conditions, too, I’m certain. “it’s not fun” is an understatement. though there were a couple of really fucking close calls, zae’s GPA went into remission. his hair grew back fuller and more luscious than it had ever been before. (i later learned these are affectionately referred to as “chemo curls.”) remission for gpa is usually expected to last at least 5 years, potentially up to 20, before any symptoms resurface. but zae’s case was particularly aggressive, so of course he’s not so lucky. he’s relapsing now. his symptoms have been slowly returning, and it’s been decided that he’s going back on chemo. it’s no surprise that this shit is expensive, even with insurance. we’re still paying off the care he received last time because ‘murca. being disabled myself, work has been… let’s call it inconsistent, yeah? yeah, that’s a nice and comfortable thing to call it. no one’s doing well financially these days, so we of course have to get creative. long story short(er), i’m doing a commission special! for the next MONTH, i am offering fast commissions at crazy-low prices to try and help us create a cushion to keep us afloat and relatively comfortable while we begin the chemo process again. there’s several options for a variety of budgets, because i really hate the idea of seeking something for nothing, and i absolutely abhor having to reach out in this way. it makes me feel vulnerable and icky and… i’m sure you all understand that, too. i can’t thank you all enough just for following me, and engaging with mine and zae’s work. it may sound trite, but that really makes a difference to us, especially when we’re dealing with something so painful. so if you can’t or don’t want to partake of the sale, please know that you are still a huge help to us, and we seriously appreciate each and every one of you. like, so fucking much. thanks y’all love, fletch

END TRANSCRIPT

Commission Options:

Flash Sketches: $5USD/character

Comics: $5USD/panel - flat color

Comics: $10USD/panel - shaded color

Screenshot Redraws - $15USD/character (complex bgs, add $20)

all of this is posted with @zaebeecee's knowledge and blessing

please DM me if you're interested in something, and thank you again

more Hungry Games, fic fanart, and Persona stuff coming soon too

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 20

Find the series masterlist

We're changing things up a little this chapter! I felt you guys needed a POV switch to really get a better picture of what's going on.

So, let's check in with Price and see how he's handling this, shall we?

Warnings: swearing, yelling, game typical violence, war crimes probably, Price needs his own warning, canon typical violence against nameless goons.

Word count: 2.3k

In his defense, Price had a lot on his mind. 

But no. That was no kind of defense. 

Especially not when it came to you. 

He'd sent you away because he had to, because otherwise you'd be too distracting. He had to focus on the task at hand. 

Not on thinking about everything he'd just learned about you. Everything you'd let slip in your fluster. 

He knew you well enough to know that you'd be mortified, later. You kept so many things to yourself that knowing an entire room full of people had heard that would probably send you into hiding. 

From the way Laswell glanced at the door after you left, Price knew that she was thinking the same thing. 

But there would be time later to console you, to apologize for being an ass, to make sure you were alright. 

For now, he had work to do. 

Now that there were three groups involved, it was easier to split up the targets. Easier to send Soap with Alejandro and Rodolfo, to keep Ghost with him and Gaz, to let KorTac keep to themselves. This wasn't the kind of mission he wanted to test by putting together potentially explosive personalities. 

(Price could admit, if only to himself, that he didn't trust himself to work with those three. Not right now, not with the new intel still so close to the surface, not with his own curiosity burning a hole in his stomach.) 

The three targets were, of course, not near each other. 

“I can arrange transport,” Laswell said. It was not an offer for the 141 or the Vaqueros, but it was an offer for KorTac. 

“We've got our own,” Declan said, a relatively gentle refusal. “Timing will be tight.” 

“Just have to coordinate,” Alejandro said, unbothered. “We won't give them a chance to warn each other.” 

“Give me a little time to coordinate the flights,” Laswell said, stepping closer to Declan. It was as close to a dismissal as the rest of them would get. She didn't need them hanging over her shoulder while she worked her magic. 

So Price stepped out of the room, his boys behind him. 

“Think Ace is alright?” Gaz asked softly. He was a smart, perceptive lad. Cared so much still. Probably too much, sometimes. 

“I'll check in on her,” Price murmured. He still had one phone number that worked for you, fortunately. 

It rang through to voice mail. 

Okay. Not to panic. Didn't mean anything. 

Soap and Ghost ran off to get lunch for everyone, since planning was best done on a full stomach. 

Price tried calling again. No answer again. 

It could be a thousand things. You could have your phone on silent. You could be mad at him and ignoring his calls. You could be busy with something else. 

But his paranoia was rearing its head, undeniable and ugly. 

You were right in the middle of all this, of course he was going to be concerned about you. 

So he went on a little walk. To help clear his head. 

He didn't see any sign of you. Every bit of his hard-won paranoia was screaming that something was wrong. That this wasn't like you. 

One more phone call. One more. 

Then he'd move on to more drastic measures. 

The third call also went to voice mail. You weren't picking up. One he could excuse, two was iffy. But three calls?

Something was wrong. 

“Gaz,” he called as he strode back into the building. “Need the laptop.” 

Gaz was quick to produce it, giving Price a curious look. “Need any help, sir?”

“Maybe.” Price pulled up one of the programs Laswell had given him. Normally this kind of work was more up her alley - CIA shit, as Simon more or less affectionately referred to it. But Price wasn't clueless, or useless. 

Gaz behind him, watching over his shoulder. Price didn't discourage him, focused on putting in your number and letting the program do its job. 

Let this be nothing. Let him be paranoid. He could handle your temper, your hiding, your embarrassment. 

So long as you were safe. 

The tracker put your phone in a mostly residential area, well out of the way. Not near the hotel, not near anything the two of you had talked about. 

Something was wrong. 

It didn’t take him long to pull up CCTV in the area, flipping through them. There wasn’t a lot, and his jaw tightened in frustration. 

“Wait,” Gaz said over his shoulder. “Go back one.”

Price obliged, going back to the previous angle. 

“There, in the grass on the far side of the street.” Gaz pointed, shifting closer. 

Price’s heart sank right down to his boots. A cell phone lay in the grass, abandoned. He knew you well enough to know that you wouldn’t just leave your cell phone. Not without reason.

Wordlessly, he backed up the footage until he found you. He paused for a moment, taking in the scene. The car. You, standing back just a little. The man clearly encouraging you in. 

He backed up until you came into frame. 

But you weren’t alone.

“Laswell!” 

The door slammed open and Laswell was at his elbow moments later, leaning over his open shoulder. “Fuck,” she hissed, which was all the confirmation Price needed. 

The man with you was Gray. 

“How did he get her into the car?” Gaz, quiet and reasonable. 

“Threats,” Price grunted. 

“Me,” Laswell added, lips tight, fury in the crease of her brow. “He’s using me against her.” 

Price scowled. Gray needed to be taken out. Immediately. But they couldn’t give up the mission, either. 

“Track the car,” he told Gaz, pushing the laptop to his sergeant instead. “I need to know where they’re going.”

“Sir?” Gaz blinked at him, even as he pulled up the program. 

“I need some supplies.” He looked to Laswell next. 

“I’ll have them for you.” Laswell glanced back at Gaz, putting things together a little faster. “The op?”

“Needs to move forward.” Price shook his head. “I’ll be back in time, or I won’t. Gaz, you and Ghost are still on.” 

Gaz frowned but didn’t object. Good lad. “Car’s left the suburbs,” he reported, a map pulled up on his phone. “Heading south.” 

“We’ll find it again,” Laswell said, nodding to Price. “Here. Go here, take whatever you need.” She handed him an address scribbled on a piece of paper. “I’ll update you when we find the car.”

Price took the note with a nod and strode away. He didn’t wait for the elevator, hitting the door to the stairs hard enough it bounced off the wall of the stairwell. He didn’t slow, even as he hit the front door and just sidestepped running into Soap.

“Captain?” Soap called.

“Ask Laswell!” Price called over his shoulder, car keys in hand. He didn’t have time to stop and explain. 

It took very little time to get to Laswell’s supply stash, and he took what he needed. Fortunately, she was well supplied, and he made a mental note to thank her for it.

But for now, the only thing on his mind was you. 

You’d been gone for hours by now, and from the time stamp on the CCTV, you’d been in the car with Gray at least an hour. 

He stopped at the curb next to where Gaz had spotted your phone, getting out. And there it was, still sitting in the grass. 

Still open to show a new recording. 

Price listened the whole recording, jaw clenched tight, fingers gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. 

Gray knew more than he should. He had sources, clearly. 

But Price couldn’t bring himself to care much about that. No. 

He cared about the little waver in your voice, the way he could hear you putting up a brave front. 

You were terrified. And he wanted to rip Gray limb from limb for making you so scared. 

Gaz called. Price barely glanced at the phone before he connected the call. 

“We’ve got a location,” Gaz reported, voice even. Almost too even. Price could hear the stress he was hiding. 

“Tell me.” Price didn’t even pause as he memorized the address, just in case. “Picked up Ace’s phone.” 

“Anything?” Gaz tried not to sound hopeful.

“Ace got a recording before she got in the car.” Price had to pause for a moment, clenching his jaw. “He knows too much. Knew about us, said he’s got something planned for Laswell, too.” 

“Fucking hell.” Gaz drew in a deep breath. “Sure you don’t need backup, sir?” 

“I’ll keep you updated.” Price barreled through a yellow light, ignoring everything not an active danger to him. “How are your preparations going?” 

“Laswell’s got the flights arranged,” Gaz said, a little reluctantly. “Timing is coordinated. We’ll be leaving in a few hours.”

“Rog.” Price doubted he’d make it back in time. And if, by some miracle, he did, he didn’t know if he’d be in the correct frame of mind to be on mission. 

“Take the next left.”

Price obeyed without question, only breaking one or two traffic laws. (It was fine, Laswell would clear it up later.) “The others?”

“Up to date,” Gaz reported. “Had to talk Soap out of going after you.”

Price snorted. Surprising - he hadn’t known that sergeant had much fondness for you. Then again, Soap could just be reacting because Price was fond of you. Sometimes that was enough. “I trust Ghost is behaving.”

Gaz huffed. “Define behaving,” he grumbled, overly dramatic. Breaking the tension a bit. 

“He hasn’t killed anyone yet or there’d be a lot more yelling.” Price scowled at the driver ahead of him, who was going exactly the speed limit. 

“Laswell’s on top of everything,” Gaz assured him. “Go right, cut up two streets, and then left.”

Price grunted as he followed Gaz’s directions, pushing his foot down as soon as he was out from behind the slow driver. “How far?”

“Rate you’re going? Fifteen minutes.” 

Price breathed slowly. You’d have been alone with Gray for near two hours by that point. He had no idea what condition he’d find you in. If you’d even be alive. The thought sent pain through his chest, clenching and sharp, but he forced himself not to shy away from it.

It was a possibility, even if it was one he did not want to face. 

If it was true… if you were already gone…

He’d burn Gray alive. 

Price switched from the call to a comm unit he tucked in his ear before he headed out of the car. He’d parked a little ways away, just in case. The abandoned hotel was in clear sight, fortunately no taller than the surrounding buildings. Still too many hiding places, sniper spots. 

That was fine. Price would just clear the entire fucking building room by room until he had you back.  

“Careful, sir. I count six outside.” 

“Together?” Price crept forward, using a parked van as a hiding spot. 

“Spread out. Three teams of two.”

Price’s lips thinned. Time to thin out the herd, then. 

The first two fell so quickly they were almost simultaneous. Price moved around the van, keeping low and creeping towards the next pair, the silenced pistol firm in his grip. This was normal, easier. It was easy to view these people as the enemy, easy to clear them out systematically, coolly, silently. And they were the enemy - they were working for Gray, who had clearly allied himself on the ultranationalists and terrorists.  

Which all meant that Price felt no guilt, no remorse, not even a flicker of hesitation in taking down every single man between him and you. 

“I have no cameras inside,” Gaz told him as Price finally approached the door. 

“Copy,” Price grunted. “Going dark.” He breached the door as quietly as he could, looking around. 

So far, so good.

The ground level of this building was an absolute wreck of furniture, graffiti, and rubble. Dust, dirt, and debris covered most of the floor. The main area was a mess of footprints and an open crate of supplies.

No good hints as to where Gray had taken you.

Price cleared the ground floor methodically, cold rage spurring him on. He didn’t spare any of the bodies that hit the ground a second look.

They were nothing more than obstacles. 

The last door was more than just a room, though. There was a half-open door, with a staircase going down. Maintenance, at a guess. 

And soft voices from down there. 

Too far away to tell if you were down there. But if Price had to bet, he’d guess that you were. Gray would keep you contained and out of danger, at least until he got what he wanted from you. 

“John,” Laswell said over the comm.

Price paused, pulling back from the open doorway, pitching his voice low so it wouldn’t carry. “Laswell.”

“I found some backup for you. You’ll recognize him.” 

Price blinked but didn’t allow himself any other sign of surprise. “Copy that. I’m headed downstairs - room near the back of the building has stair access.”

“I’ll pass that along.” Laswell drew in a breath, and Price waited. “If you can, bring Gray back alive.”

His lips pulled back from his teeth. “No promises.”

“Good hunting, John.” Laswell clicked off the comm. 

Price breathed in deep. Someone would be coming behind him, backup. He just needed to not shoot his backup. And possibly not shoot Gray. 

That would depend entirely on how you were when he found you. 

Price nudged the door open enough to slip through, descending silently. 

The first guard went down silently, and Price dragged the body out of the hallway and into a closet. That would buy him a little time if any other guards came through. 

A double tap through the com got his attention, and Price half-turned to find a familiar face walking down the corridor towards him. 

Price grinned, probably showing a few too many teeth. “Good to see you again,” he murmured. “Let’s get on it, sergeant.”

[remcycl333]

i really like when u talk abt ur own experiences when dealing with all this!! could u expand more on how u manifested ur apartment? like what ur daily life looked like, etc. bc im in a similar situation w a mentally exhausting family and im trying to get tf out lol

TW: narcissistic/co-dependent parent

yeah! so my older sister got married and moved out, leaving me alone with a narcissistic parent, so i knew i really wanted to move out and live on my own. but i had negative circumstances. for instance my parent was really co-dependent, which led to them never letting me get my drivers license or a job. even when i was 20-21. plus this was during lockdown so i didn't really have the ability to learn how to drive from other means. plus along with not being able to drive and not having the money to afford living on my own, i knew my parent would never let me move out bc they didn't want to be alone. so i was really depressed because my situation felt very hopeless.

but then i remembered the power of manifestation. i had manifested an sp at this point and other things, such as appearance changes and money here and there, but this was a "big" manifestation. big meaning that so many dominoes had to fall in just the right places, so to speak. for instance i was nervous that i'd wake up in a new apartment and not be able to pay the rent to live there and have to move out. so i was unsure if i should manifest money first, and then manifest the apartment. but what i was imagining as my end was me in my apartment with more than enough money to survive, so i decided not to manifest in steps.

i was triggered a LOT at first, bc like i mentioned i was dealing with a co-dependent narcissistic parent. like sometimes they'd talk about how i'd still be living at home till i was 25+ and the idea made me go absolutely crazy. i went through months of being miserable at the idea, thinking about how all my peers were living on their own and not having to deal with the shit i did. but eventually i just got so fed up and i decided i just needed to go completely in, because i had been putting off really applying for the longest time.

so what i did was make a note in my notes app describing my dream apartment, and i included pics i found on Pinterest of different features i wanted in my apartment. like what i wanted the kitchen and bathroom to look like, the specific vanity i wanted, etc.

then whenever i thought about it, i'd tell myself i was already there and the apartment was mine. similarly to Abdullah slamming the door on Neville and saying "you are in Barbados", any time i wondered how it would happen or think about how it hadn't reflected yet, i'd tell myself "you are in your dream apartment." it was a reminder that i wouldn't be wondering any of those things, or worrying or doubting, if i was already in my dream apartment. and i already was there in my imagination! so there was no room for me to be dwelling on stuff like that.

throughout the day, i liked to retreat to my imagination when i had time and felt upset about my 3D. i'd do so by imagining that my surroundings were different. for instance i had a picture saved of what i wanted my shower to look like (it was always my dream to have a really really nice bathroom bc my shower has always been a safe space for me of sorts lmao) so when i was in the shower, i'd close my eyes and imagine i was in that shower i had saved from Pinterest. i also did this in the kitchen when i was cleaning or cooking, and while i laid in bed at night before falling asleep.

i also never really let people come over to my house when i lived with my parent(s) bc my co-dependent narcissistic parent would always come up with some completely insane and random reason why they didn't like that friend and i'd never hear the end of it. so i'd have inner convos with myself about how i was excited my friend was coming over later and i'd come up with different things we'd be doing. this was another way i liked to fulfill myself in my imagination.

whenever i was interacting with my parent, as i way to dismiss my 3D, i just pretended i was visiting home and that's why i was with them/at their house. it helped me remind myself that being there wasn't permanent.

this manifestation took me a couple of months, as i was triggered a lot. eventually, after fulfilling myself enough and finding solace in my imagination whenever i felt bad, i was triggered less and less by my 3d and circumstances. i also manifested my parent being chiller and blowing up a lot less.

the final thing i was missing was that i was in a neutral state a lot and i thought because i wasn't upset by my 3d that meant i wasn't in the state of lack. i just had this epiphany recently on my twitter, so it took me a while to correct this issue because i didn't even know it was an issue. i had that epiphany well after successfully manifesting my apartment.

the neutral state was me being like "oh my 3d isn't too bad i kinda like chilling in my room unbothered." so i wasn't upset at my 3d, but i was still also acknowledging i didn't have what i wanted. this was fixed when i started imagining my surroundings as my dream apartment, like i mentioned a few paragraphs up.

and then one day, i woke up and my surroundings felt different. i sleep with a sleeping mask on, so when i wake up and open my eyes, it's still pitch black. but i felt the air around me was different, and the sounds around me were different. like the sound of my ceiling fan in my room was different. then i took off my sleeping mask and i was in my new room, in my new apartment!

it was kinda spooky at first im ngl. at first i thought i was dreaming, but i wasn't (i checked). then i just explored the apartment! i was paranoid i was gonna find someone in my apartment or something 😭 but the apt was exactly how i wanted it to look, and i had plenty of money in my bank account to cover rent and bills and food! and i've been living here ever since with virtually 0 problems :)

[lurkingshan]

Rose's Day of Asks

Top 5 QL couples that you think can truly have a HEA?

Have a great Day💜

Oh hi Rose! I would be honored to participate. This is a great question because there are not actually that many qls where I end the show convinced the couple will stay together for the long haul, either because the characters are very young, the relationship problems are not entirely addressed, I don't fully believe in their bond, or I picture the characters changing in a way that is not compatible. There are a handful that I have a hard time imagining ever breaking up, though.

Pat and Pran, Bad Buddy

After everything these two went through to be together and, crucially, stay together? Ain't no way. They've already survived being forced to compete with each other, feuding friends and families, years-long separation, long distance, and plenty of serious conflicts both with each other and with threats external to the relationship. They will survive the rest and live together through it all.

Kasuga and Nomoto, TsukuTabe

It took them so long to find each other, and now that they have you can bet they will be sticking together. These two are so well matched, and they each provide something the other needs, both where food and emotion are concerned. Nomoto is kind and curious and Kasuga is steady as a rock. They decided to move in together before they even kissed (the u-haul lesbian jokes write themselves). I can easily picture them still sitting at that table eating together in 40 years.

Payu and Rain, Love in the Air

These two are so young, but this is a situation of two perfectly suited people finding each other at an improbably early age. It's rare, but it happens! They are not only a perfect match for each other sexually, but their personalities are also very-well suited. Payu needs to direct his care taking energy to someone who wants it, and Rain needs someone to give him attention, motivation and focus. They give each other a lot of joy and you can feel how happy they are whenever they're together. They will have a long life together pushing each other to succeed and discovering new kinks.

Baram and Hantae, Sing My Crush

These two have been devoted to each other since the day they met. They love each other and they like each other and I can't imagine either of them wanting to be with anyone else. Even if Han Baram's music career takes off, he will be bringing Im Hantae along with him.

Achi and Karan, Cherry Magic Thailand

They are husbands! And even if they weren't, I would like to see you try to pry Karan away from Achi. This one is interesting because we have multiple adaptations of this particular story, but for me Karan and Achi are the pair I believe in the most. Achi really put in the work to learn how to communicate and reciprocate Karan's affections, and their bond with each other feels mutual and rock solid. They're going to have a long and happy life together and be that sickeningly sweet married couple everyone else rolls their eyes about (except for Pai, she will be in the background swooning).

[sirgogington]

My Word Vomit Response on the Shelby Situation

Main Situation: Last week Wilbur Soot from Lovejoy was accused of having been abusive towards his ex girlfriend Shelby. Shelby is a live streamer and last week she did a livestream about the signs of knowing if you are in an abusive relationship. She never stated his name, but from details given people started assuming it was about Wilbur Soot. A few days later Wilbur confirmed that it was him in an apology tweet on his Twitter account. The abuse had to do with painful biting, and manipulation. 

    I want to start off by saying I do believe Shelby's story. I don't think Wilbur is innocent, but I do believe this situation isn't as black and white as people are claiming it to be. 

    Former fans after hearing the story started unfollowing Wilbur and Lovejoy and saying what a terrible man that Wilbur is, and vowing to never listen to or view any of his content ever again. He's not just a terrible man, he has to be evil too. I may be optimistic but I do think most people can change for the better if they truly want to. There are exceptions, but I truly believe that Wilbur can. The internet wants to just label him as evil and not give him any room to do that. The new thing is "guilty until proven innocent" and that's super harmful as I will go into in a different post. The way people are spreading hate in a us/them mentality is not a mature way of viewing/handling this situation and does more harm than good. Especially when it comes to death threats and doxing which have been received by both sides.

   Wilbur is someone who had a hard upbringing, and has brought up at different times his struggles with mental health. On screen or on stage you would never know this about him, because he has this mask of being confident, well spoken, and joyful. Through these details Wilbur has shared we know that touring took a lot out of him mentally and put him in a bad place, but that he was seeking therapy and is probably currently still seeing a therapist to try and get better. He's shared in the past that when he first blew up on the internet he used alcohol to cope because of how overwhelming it was that so many people were consuming his content. From Shelby's stream we also learned that his living space was dirty and unhygienic and that he would make excuses for it. The details for me paint the picture of a guy struggling badly with mental illness and having a hard time caring for himself and his home. Someone who can hardly take care of themselves should not have been in a relationship. This puts a lot on the other person.  It's different if he were stable and then then his mental health crashed in the middle of a longer relationship, but not if your too mentally ill to begin with. I do deeply feel sorry that Shelby had to experience that, as it truly shouldn't have happened. 

   I went to school for psychology and know quite a bit about different types of mental illnesses. I am by no means diagnosing Wilbur, but I do think he shows signs of someone with Boderline Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder is an emotional disregulation disorder characterized by unstable mood, behavior, and relationships. People with BPD self sabotage and will frequently end up pushing people away because they don't think they're good enough for them. (In this case maybe he wanted to act so bad so she would leave him, which is very unhealthy). People with BPD also go through depressive episodes and can act impulsively. Without therapy it is extremely hard to cope with this condition but with therapy you can make great strides in changing. I think like most mental illnesses you are aware of the fact you don't like the way you're acting you just have a hard time controlling it. For instance for me growing up with anxiety I knew most of my fears were completely irrational but that didn't stop them from overtaking my life and still feeling anxious. Wilbur has written some really deep lyrics on his new solo album Mammalian Sighing Reflex and I feel like it reflects that he doesn't like the way he is and feels guilty about those he's harmed through it. Maybe I'm giving this man too much credit, but like I said I do believe most people are capable of changing for the better. 

   Shelby stated she did the livestream as a way to help protect other victims of domestic violence and Wilbur Soot himself. He might still be dangerous to the public, it's really hard to know. I know after my own situation with being manipulated I was worried about the guy going after other younger women like he had with me. I didn't want anyone else have to be in that situation so I understand where Shelby is coming from. I also know that if the guy in my life had ever posted an apology, no matter how good it was, that I still wouldn't believe him and have a hard time forgiving him. Bold take but I think his apology was at least decent. Could it have been better, yeah, but could it have been a lot worse, also yes. In his apology he admits to being the person Shelby was talking about. He states that her feelings are valid, and that he wants people to hold him to higher accountability, and that he was sorry for any hurt he caused. Maybe he isnt, but it's hard to know. Wilbur stated in a livestream from last October 2023 that he was going to therapy the next day, because of this we can assume that Wilbur has been going to therapy at minimum since October. In that same livestream he states that he showers once a day when he's in his "big sad", and that he has rented places all over Brighton. He is at least hygienic in this regard, maybe moreso than he was before. It could be a red flag that Wilbur has lived all over Brighton due to possible evictions whether that be negligence or noise complaints from doing livestreams.

   We'll never know how other content creators truly feel about him except for the ones that made it obvious. Of course most content creators are going to jump on the bandwagon and agree that he's an evil man. If they don't then they'll lose their platform because of all the hate they'd get. I do believe some content creators will still hang out with Wilbur secretly or still even remain his friend. But we'll never know. 

   For the people who are posting different video evidences of Wilbur supposedly showing signs of being abusive in the past this is what is called confirmation bias. If you believe someone is abusive suddenly you can find details in the littlest things to confirm your thought process. A lot of the clips I've been seeing have been of normal everyday behavior or confirmed bits. I've seen people say that Wilbur must have bit down really hard to leave bruises. In some cases people bruise more easily than others. I know I have random bruises on my body from nothing. We can tell that what Wilbur did however was pretty painful due to have to use a safe word. Getting bitten usually hurts. I've been bitten by a 5 year old at work and can't imagine how it would feel to be bitten by a grown man who intentionally bit down hard.

This could be confirmation bias as well, but when looking at the lyrics in Mammalian Sighing Reflex and at the album art it seems to tell the story of a man (Wilbur) who really messed up in a relationship and is feeling the pain from that, and has a lot of regret due to knowing he was the cause of her pain. He poured so much of himself into the album it's like he's bleeding out in front of the audience with the amount of vulnerability.

Analyzing lyrics because why not, using lyrics from "Mammalian Sighing Reflex"

"I get so drunk I can barely see." If this album is related to his relationship with Shelby, which I think it probably is, then maybe he tried to cope with the relationship failing by using alcohol, or sabotaged the relationship through drinking.

"A lot of friends have left my life, escaping my tractor beam of woe" Having a mental illness can make it hard to maintain friendships. This could be because it makes you so self-focused on your problems, or that people get tired of hearing about your problems. If you constantly talk about how sad you are, some people are going to have a hard time dealing with that, or get burnt out from having to keep on cheering you up.

"Fuck my life, you cared when I was sick, no one ever gave a shit.....you fought this war one-sided and asked me what am I doing this for." These lyrics seem to speak about how in a past relationship (probably meaning with Shelby), that she cared that he was mentally ill/in a low point and wanted to help him get better. The fight to help him get better was one-sided due to Wilbur not helping to get himself better. If he would have helped her then they "could of stitched my mind together."

"Never been the one for romance, never thought that I'd get married. Never been the kind to give a shared life a second glance, selfish prose." In Shelby's livestream she talked about how her and Wilbur talked about the possibility of getting married and having kids until he backtracked and said that he wasn't that way and changed his mind.

The song "I Don't Think It Will Ever End" is how his mind seems to work in cycles. He'll be sad, because he feels sad he hides away for a bit, but then he feels silly for hiding himself so he forces himself to interact with people. But then when forcing himself to interact again he feels sad, which he says is not a good feeling when you're supposedly in a good phase. He says as self-sabotage he gets silly. Wilbur is known for telling a lot of jokes, and maybe this is a way he masks his true feelings. Also for Mammalian Sighing Reflex it says the songs were written by William Gold (his legal name) and performed by Wilbur Soot (his stage name). Wilbur is who the internet/fans see him as and William Gold is who he really is. Meaning the way we see him online is the extroverted, charismatic, likeable guy we know him as whereas William Gold is introverted, self-sabotaging, nerdy, and a deep thinker.

     The internet gives us way too much information. We're constantly bombarded with more and more information. Before the internet and even in the earlier internet days you did not have this. People were not being as closely viewed and known as they are now. You have to be careful about every little thing you say, because God forbid you say the wrong thing and get canceled. It didn't used to be this way. The only reason you'd ever know anything bad about a celebrity is if they were in the news. I think most of the media we consume whether TV shows, movies, etc. have the potential to have us supporting "bad people". It would be overwhelming to look up every single person we had ever consumed media from and sift through what are lies and what are not about each actor, singer, etc. I get that people don't want to give a platform to people doing bad things, but it's almost impossible to know and to remove every single bad person from the content you consume.  Being a celebrity in general is hard. It's easy to become addicted to drugs, and experience toxicity especially celebrities that live in Los Angeles. Most become people they regret, but some change for the better too. I'm not saying people who do serious crimes should get out of jail because they can become better people. People in jail should remain in jail for serious crimes. Time will tell what becomes of him. If more about him is released or if he's able to actually make strides in his health like he said he would. We will wait and see. I really hope he can heal and get better. Even the most unlikely ones can change their lives. You can both support Shubble and hope that Wilbur gets better.

[anangelwhodidntfall]

Picasso: Dad!JakeSully

Avatar Masterlist 

word count: 1k

Request:  hi! can I request a dad!jakesully with a daughter reader?? i love the way you write those chapters they are great!! it's totally up to you what you write about just lots of fluff and love between the two :)

A/N: Sorry for the late response, I've been student teaching for the past two months and going to class two days out of the week, and I've been sick so much, so I'm trying to write when i can :)

Each of your siblings had a role in the family, your twin neyetam was the mighty warrior, lo'ak was the troublemaker, Kiri was the healer, Tuk was the baby that had everyone wrapped around her finger and then there was you the artist. You had been artistic from an early age, what started off as bracelets and necklaces, evolved into paintings and much more, to the point where you started expressing yourself through your hair.

Norm and a few of the other scientists were showing some pictures from the earth, and that's how you learned about hair dye and hair color. They had given some hair to test the dyes out that you made to see how they would look before you dyed your actual hair to see what you liked and didn't, and provided you with many reference photos.  

You were currently sitting up against a tree working on some color ideas, for your hair right now you were leaning towards pink, liking how it stood out against the black.

"Whatcha working on babygirl?" Your dad asked taking a seat across from you.

"Hair color idea, norm, and some of the scientists had shown me of people having different hair color back on earth and it kinda got me thinking." You said showing him the self-portrait you had been working on.

"Your talent amazes me each time I see it." Your dad said looking at your artwork.

"Thanks,dad, so what do you think? Do you think the pink would look good on me?" You asked him.

"Angel you could pull off any color but I think the pink would stand out more. Are you thinking of adding color to your hair?" He asked."Uh maybe? Would you be mad if I did?" You asked him nervously.

"No I think it would suit you, you've always been different from everyone, and I think it's time that the outside reflects the inside." He said making you smile.

"So you're not mad that I'm not a warrior like nete or a healer like Kiri?" You asked him.

"No babygirl, I've known since you were little that you were an artist that's why I always pushed you to explore that. I don't care that you aren't like your brother or sister, I love you for who you are, nothing more, nothing less." He said placing a kiss on your forehead.

"Thanks daddy. I love you too." You said to him.

"Your welcome. Plus I love the designs you come up with for the war parties and ceremonies." He said making you laugh as you two started heading home.

A few days later one of the scientists Diana was helping you add the pink strands to your hair while you worked on a painting for your dad after his comments the other night when your dad walked in.

"Daddy what are you doing here?" You asked him as he took a seat across from you.

"I came to learn how to do your hair that way I could help you do it next time." He said.

"Really? You? Mr. I've had one hairstyle since I was born, wants to learn how to do hair?" You said teasing him.

"Oh it's like that huh? Then you can forget about getting your hair done." He said.

"What? No I'm sorry daddy." You said setting your painting down and crawling over to him and into his lap.

"Nope it's too late, you have bullied me for the last time." He said.

"Nooo I'm sorry daddy, it was an innocent joke. I love you and your basic hairstyle." You said making him roll his eyes.

"I love you too, now go finish getting your hair done before I change my mind." He said squeezing you and kissing your head before you went back to your chair.

It took about an hour to add the color to your hair which gave you time to finish your painting, and for your dad to learn how to do it next time but Diana said that she would help you in case he messed up.

"So what do you think dad? Does it look as good as it did in my painting?" You asked him.

"It looks even better. The pink definitely suits you and now I'll really really be able to tell you and neyetam apart." He said making you roll your eyes.

"Thanks dad. And I made this for you." You said handing him the painting you had worked on.

"Ohh angel this is so beautiful, thank you." He said hugging you.

"Your welcome I sort of got inspired by what you said the other night." You said as you two walked home.

You guys return home and your mother froze when she saw your hair instantly making you feel nervous as your siblings looked at you in shock.

"So what do you think mom?" You asked her nervously as she ran a hand through your hair.

"It looks pretty, who did it?" She asked."

Diana, but she showed dad so he could do it next time. I'm sure she could teach you if you wanted." You said.

"I would like that. You look pretty my dear, now I'll be able to tell you and your neyetam apart." She said as you and neyetam shook your heads.

"Do we really look that much alike?" You both asked.

"Yes you do, this will make telling you two apart so much easier." Your parents said as you two laughed.

[formulaforza]

daddy-daughter dance-- d.ricciardo

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader word count: 770 a/n: just like. who else would I write this about yk?

He’s been talking about it for ages, dreaming about it since you found out you were having a girl. They still do those, right? He’s asked, said his sister went to one every year when she was young. 

They do, still do it, you learned when she was five, and a newsletter came home with her from school advertising it. Baby, look at this, you told him, tapped on the headline in the corner of the page. Father-daughter dance. 

It was a Saturday, and he’d made a whole day out of it. Woke up early, earlier than usual, and made her favorite breakfast, served it to her in bed, woke her up with a soft kiss on the forehead, moving her sweaty hair from her face. 

After breakfast, they go to the spa–get pedicures. Daniel sends you lots of pictures, even more videos of her giggling uncontrollably in the big chair. After much contemplation, she chooses rainbow nails, with rainbow sparkles. A classy decision, Daniel tells her from behind the camera in the video he sent, very smart. 

When they get home she gifts you with two sets of foam toe separators, says they’re for the next time the two of you have a girls night. You thank her, put them in the bin that all of your nail polish is in, and then you start on her hair. 

She has his curls, long and thick and  wild and unruly. They’ve never been easy to tame. You wet them down, soak them with a spray bottle and slowly work through the tangles. “Are you excited to go to the dance with daddy?” You asked her, tugged on her hair and apologized. 

“I’m so excited!” She told you, mirrored your actions on the Barbie doll in her lap. “Me’s and Daddy will has so much fun.”

“You and Daddy will have so much fun.” You nod, re-align the part of her hair. “Daddy is sooo excited, too.”

“Really?” She says, shoots her eyes up to meet your in the mirror. 

You smile at her smile, at the crooked baby teeth and apple cheeks. “Oh, yeah.” You tell her, nod, reach for the curl cream. “The only thing he loves more than dancing is you.”

“You think?” She says, the th- sound horribly enunciated, dull and lispy and adorable. 

“I know.”

– –

Daniel’s in your bedroom, receiving updates from you, in your daughter’s room, via text. She’s wearing purple. You told him three outfit changes ago. Blue. I think we’ve settled on blue. She had not, in fact, settled on the blue dress. Yellow. Yellow, for sure. You finally said, after she looked into the mirror and said she looked like her favorite princess. 

You couldn't’ remember if he had a yellow tie–he has to, you think, you hope, because he is dead-set on matching her and there’s no way you’re going to make her pick a different outfit, no way your sanity can last another trip through her closet. 

She asks if you can put makeup on her, and you can’t imagine Daniel’s reaction to that–his little girl in makeup. You put the tiniest amound of blush on, a dollop of sparkly lipgloss, and run a dry spooly brush through her eyebrows and eyelashes. “Fabuolous!” She declares, spinning around in her dress and her dress-up disney-princess heels. 

She’s waiting on the couch, patiently playing with the tule on the skirt of her dress, picking at the sequins and the sparkles. She’s taken one of your purses hostage, a tiny white baguette bag slung over her shoulder. She put your lipgloss in it–just in case, Mom, she told you. Your lipgloss, and an old phone, sceen cracked and practically unusable, one she uses when her imagination is feeling extravagant. 

Daniel walks through the door with a bouquet of yellow and white flowers in his hand, and two plasti boxes–a white corsage and a matching boutonniere. You pin it on him, and he double wraps the elastic band of the corsage around her wrist so it doesn’t fall off, tells her she looks so lovely, beautiful like always. 

You take a million pictures of them on the front porch before they go, so many they’re both begging to go. We can’t be late, Mom, your daughter told you, huffed and crossed her arms. “Yeah, Mom.” Daniel teases, “We can’t be late.”

“Okay, okay.” You say, snap a couple more pictures, kiss them both goodbye. You watch on from the porch, hand over your heart, smile on your face while he helps her into the car like it’s a chariot, a horse-drawn carriage for a queen.

[frankthesnek]

I have seen a lot of content here and on other platforms talking about how much people hate Steve's ending in the Infinity Saga, and I wanted to give my two cents. So buckle up folks!

Fisrt off, just to get it out of the way, I personally do not like Steve's ending. I don't like it because of the canon implications. They make a big deal about not changing things by getting the stones and returning them when they are done.... then Steve stays behind, and I'm sorry, but that opens the potential for SOOOO many plot issues canonically. Anyway, on to all the reasons I DON'T TAKE ISSUE WITH his ending.

The two things I see used most often as reasons to why Steve's ending sucks is 1) it's not in character for him, and 2) he abandoned Bucky waaaahhh! Let's talk about both.

1) not in character? Completely disagree, because pure and simple Steve is not the same person at the end of the Infinity Saga as he was at the start of his story.

An important thing to remember is that Steve was young when he became Captain America. He was only 25, which is like... the start of actual adulthood. He got the serum, and from that moment on, his life was not really his own. Let's look at how his life goes after becoming Cap:

Steve becomes a show pony for the USO (not what he wanted or thought he would be doing).

Steve ends up in the middle of war (yes, he wanted to protect his country. That doesn't mean you enjoy war).

Steve willingly sacrfises himself for the greater good.

Steve comes back to a new world where everything he has ever known and all the people he ever loved are gone.

Steve ends up fighting wars, again.

Steve is young and ends up in pretty much back to back situations where he is the leader in dangerous situations, something that yes he excels at... but here's the thing, just because you can do something doesn't mean you should/are prepared to. I'm not saying Steve is a bad leader (he's not), but Rhody says it best in Civil War, "Steve that.... that is dangerously arogant." Steve IS arogant. It's not intentional, just a result of power and leadership at an early age.

By the end of the Infinity Saga, this arrogance has been checked and is gone. Steve has grown, aged, seen, and experienced so much more. He has experienced not only other people's failures but his own. He has grown into his power and learned with it. We see this process as we move through the movies. At the start, he wants to have a life and settle down someday. Then he becomes Cap and at first he still wants this but, as time goes on he questions if he can ever do that because he doesn't think he can walk away (Steve says this himself in AoU). Then in the end Steve has done his time, served his term of duty and realizes he CAN walk away (I personally feel this comes a lot from Steve seeing Tony make that shift too late in life and lose his family before truly getting to experience them).

Long and short of it, Steve at the start would not have gone back. Steve as the man he is at the end, would have.

2) but he abandoned Bucky! Steve wouldn't do that, right? Yeah, yeah he fucking would. I get that it seems bitterly unsatisfying for him to just leave Bucky after everything Steve went through to save him and get him back.... but here's the thing if anyone understands Steve's struggles and what he's been through, it's Bucky. Bucky lost his life too. He went to war young, got captured and reprogrammed, was forced to do horrible things, and lost the world and people he knew and loved.

If anything Bucky would have been the one to encourage Steve to do what he did. Picture Steve going to Bucky and being like, hey I have this crazy idea, and I need you to talk me out of it. Would Bucky talk him out of it? No, Bucky would encourage it because he KNOWS first hand what Steve has lost.

Bucky clearly knows what Steve is planning when they say good bye in that last scene. Just like how Steve was willing to put everything on the line to save Bucky—Bucky was willing to let Steve go live the life he deserved. Really, that right there is what it all comes down to in the end. What did Steve deserve? After everything he has done, he deserved happiness, and that's what he got. Bucky wasn’t gonna talk him out of that because he loves Steve, and that can mean letting people go, just like it can mean fighting for them.

Anyway, just my thoughts. The end.

[heaven4lostgirls]

As much as I want to believe that it isn't my fault... I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.... like somehow... a part of me... a part of my childhood... a part of my mind that still believed One Direction would be back, died along with Liam... and hell, I'd not even want a reunion, if I can somehow bring him back to life... and on the other hand... I've been so out of touch with what's going on with the boys, that all these allegations on him... that too after he passed... it's tearing my mind apart... I want to tell myself that that wasn't the Payno we knew... the Payno I grew up listening to... the one who could bring a smile on anyone's face.... the dance master Leeroy... the one afraid of fucking spoons, ridiculous, isn't it..? the silliness... the person himself.... I'm not willing to believe that he... he got so bad... that everyone let it get so bad... that somehow I was a part of it too... idk... can't stop that nagging feeling....

As a fan of Justin Bieber AND One Direction, I'm truly scared for what might happen to Justin now... the Biebers have a son... I don't want to, can't, lose another of my favourite artists.... he was on the pedestal since a young age too, and has been through similar shot.... and I'm terrified.... (sorry for the side track)

Now AFTER his death when I learn about him being an abuser and how MUCH people bash him and be unempathetic about it.... I hate myself for even considering stopping supporting him and mourning him... honestly, that thought crossed my m mind... I went... "Am I mourning the wrong person..? Should I be happy that an abuser d¡ed... or sad that he was Liam.... or surprised that Liam could even do that, or empathize with him that it was his coping mechanism.... but it isn't good... but he was good... but he isn't..." and that feeling summed up in a few words beautifully goes like.... "I'm mourning a person who was a part and parcel of my inner child that didn't heal.... but that doesn't mean my older self blindsides his wrongdoings... I'm mourning what Liam was to me... and how his life had become.... also while sympathy with the victim.... who somehow ALSO lost someone MUCH MUCH more important.... her son's father..."

I'll come in with another ask to continue, also I fell asleep (with a lot of struggle) so sorry for the late reply... (sorry if I'm bugging you...)

it’s okay not to believe that it’s not your fault, there will be people out there to remind you, and with time i think you’ll start to understand that it’s not.

emotions are tricky, because your grief is so raw everything feels magnified. in time, and with healing you’ll be able to see the bigger picture.

don’t worry about it right now, feeling your emotions is so good for understanding yourself. it helps you process your grief.

there’s so many things about grief that doesn’t make sense. wanting liam alive doesn’t make you a bad person, there are millions of people on this earth that wish they could’ve changed his fate.

just because liam was an abuser does not make him any less worth being mourned. there are people out there that have done worse, that are alive and they still have huge fandoms and people that listen to their music.

and i understand the piece of you that died when liam did, i think a lot of directioners can understand that feeling. there is no one direction without all of the boys.

them losing liam was us losing one direction really, and that leaves a big hole within our childhoods and within a lot of our primitive teenage years.

as for justin, i’m not really in his fandom but i do enjoy his music. and i can empathize with your fear. justin’s clean from my understanding, and has been since he’s been married to hailey.

your fears aren’t entirely unfounded but i do think that it’s better not to work yourself over possibilities of what could happen if he relapses. it does nobody any good, especially you.

it sounds easier said than done but justin is the only one who has control over his own life, we need to let him make his own decisions like we did with liam.

we can’t control him, that can only lead to negative outcomes. he knows himself better than anyone else in his life and deserves the right to have his fans and people around him believe that he’ll make the right choices.

it doesn’t make you a bad person to have conflicting feelings about liam’s passing. i did, i didn’t mourn him really at all in the first 24hrs of hearing he passed.

my friends aren’t fans of one direction/liam so they were very much more objective about liam’s passing than i thought i could be.

i thought i had to react a certain way, i didn’t have any right to be sad because i didn’t know him, and he was an abuser.

that’s wrong, you’re entitled to feel however you want to feel. mourn him if you want, don’t if you don’t. it really is that simple.

you don’t have control over how other people react so there will be people out there that are less emotionally attached than fans are, but that doesn’t make your pain any less valid.

it’s okay to be conflicted, liam was a huge part of you. and yes, exactly. mourning liam does not discredit any of the abuse that maya went through.

don’t worry about bugging me, you’re always welcome!! or falling asleep! i just woke up so if you don’t mind me replying 6hrs later then we’re all good 🫂.

[king-odysseus-of-ithaca]

(obligatory "keep reading" section because this accidentally turned into a long post whoops)

I'm always so anxious about interacting with other EPIC/EPIC-adjacent kins, because I feel like I might end up overstepping and making things awkward. Especially with a Penelope or Telemachus. There’s always that fear of rejection, even when every part of me wants to reach out and talk to them, even when I miss them like nothing else.

It’s kind of funny—or, well, not really—but I felt a similar way those first few months (first year? More than that? Less? I don’t know, time is strange) back home after 20 years apart. Many people like to think that everything mostly went back to normal, or if not normal then calm and warm and soft and peaceful. And, well, it was, in a way. There were times when it was.

But it also wasn’t that simple. I was gone for 20 years. Penelope and I had been apart for 20 years, and Telemachus and I had never gotten the chance to know each other during those 20 years. I had to relearn everything—we all did, since a lot of things changed since I was gone and a lot more changed when I came back. I had to relearn who Penelope was, because she had changed too, and I had to learn who my son was, which—while awkward and tense at times—was the greatest joy I had ever experienced. It was a good thing, learning and relearning about the people I love most, but it was also difficult because, well, 20 years. 20 years of being apart and going through our own traumas. 20 years, and now suddenly reunited and whole, except the pieces didn't quite fit together neatly just yet, because healing is a difficult thing.

I remember that interactions with my son were often strained, because I was essentially a stranger to him. A dangerous stranger, with too much blood on his hands and too many sharp edges, angry and unstable and tired of being so. Meanwhile, Telemachus had just been freed from a bunch of vile men taking over his home and plotting harm against both him and his mother, after which I was suddenly in the picture again. So I do not blame him for being wary, even if it hurt and I felt terrible about it. Even I was wary of myself, even after Telemachus warmed up to me, even after he eventually told me he trusted me (which I then cried about).

It was a slow and bumpy process, coming back together and loving each other and being with each other, all three of us, but it was worth it. Everything would always be worth it, if it meant getting to be with my family and being whole again.

Those first few months(?) after I came back home were similar to what I feel now. Not quite the same, but similar enough. Because... that life? That life was forcefully pushed to the past and I am separated from my family once more, and again it has been so long. With all those years apart again plus an entire lifetime this time, not to mention I don't even know if they're my canonmates, trying to interact with these Penelope and Telemachus kins has me flailing on what to say and how to act. And gods, every time I do interact with them—canonmate or not, because they're still my sourcemates and my family, even if they might not be my version of them—it leaves me feeling both giddy and yearning. I miss them. I want to talk to them. But I don't know how, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, so I end up lurking most of the time and staring longingly from afar.

(...This was not meant to be a vent. And it was supposed to be short. What the fuck even happened here.)