#this person was 28 too like older than me & talking down to someone correcting them nicely bc they were younger..
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annoying when ppl conflate stone butch with just being the most masculine tough butch & on the flip side high femme with just being an ultra feminine at all times femme ... that's not what either of those terms mean 😭 like u can be a stone top and femme & a stone bottom and butch & either of those without being butch or femme! but those two terms describe very specific sexual roles....
#stone butches who also like to bottom#petchyposting#lesblogging#the person i saw saying this was talking about ??? *also* implying they fill both roles???#sigh. it's frustrating 2 me cause these terms mean specific things & its important to be able to use them as descriptors#i dont like to call myself a pillow princess cause of how ppl use that derogatorily & it feels special to be able to say high femme#or stone femme. and i bet there are stone butches who feel the same#this person was 28 too like older than me & talking down to someone correcting them nicely bc they were younger..#minors dni
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Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader
Main story parts:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31
_________________________
Pt 31 - Commission Issues
As you zoned out looking at the sky and wondering about the possibilities of what would come next you hear Luther call out behind you,
"Five!"
Coming back to reality you turn towards the sound and watch as Luther follows Five back into the apartment building. You decide to follow them as well but not before looking at Klaus and Ben on the ground and say,
"Whatever that was, I'm going to ignore it but you two need to figure out where the others went while I help Five with whatever idea he has next, okay?"
"Uhh...sure" Klaus groans as he stands up
"Fine, we will," Ben adds
You nod your head and turn around rushing to follow the two boys who were heading inside the building. As you followed them up the staircase you could hear Luther exclaim,
"Hey! Five, doomsday is still coming. We gotta think of a new plan."
"Don't you get it, Luther? It's over, all right? We're already dead." Five complains
"Then where are you going?" Luther questions
"I'm going to do the unthinkable." Five replies frustratedly "The hell is that supposed to mean?" Luther follows up
As the three of you enter the apartment you hear Five mumble to himself, "I was really hoping it wouldn't come to this."
With that, he enters what used to be Elliott's bedroom and shuts and locks the door behind him. Luther leans up against it knocking and yelling, "Come to what, Five? Five! Come to what? Five!"
Luther bangs on the door calling out Five's name over and over again to no response. You step next to Luther and when he looks down at you, you say,
"Let me talk to him."
Luther nods at you knowing that you were probably the best option to talk to him. If anybody was going to calm down and reason with him, it was going to be you. As Luther walks away to the living room portion of the apartment, you phase through the bedroom door. Once you enter, you watch as Five paces back and forth complaining to himself,
"All we had to do was get together on time. That was it! those idiots screw everything up."
"Five..." You say
"I do everything to try and save us from impending doom and I can't even rely on them for the simplest of tasks!" He continues to complain
"Five." You try again
"I bet they'll blame it all on me again too!"
"Five!" You call out grabbing his hand
Five stops pacing and his head snaps towards you.
"What?!" He snapped
You were taken aback by his outburst, your eyes going wide at the harsh tone of his voice. You could see the frustration on his face and the anger in his eyes. You knew deep down that he was just worried, but sometimes his emotions didn't come easy and it hurt you to see him so upset.
Five was done with the constant threat of the apocalypse. With not being listened to and with plan after plan to get everyone home failing. He wanted to run away from it all but then he saw the shocked look on your face, and his mind flashed back to all those years ago when you both were children. He recalled the anger and frustration he felt at his father not listening to him and not believing in his ability to time travel. The rage that burned inside him because things had not gone the way he wanted. And he remembered the way you held onto him and the shocked look on your face as he took his anger out on you. Those moments, that day, burned themselves into his mind and plagued him through his whole life. He had always regretted that day, and probably always would but there was no way he was going to make the same mistake twice. Five's head looked down shamefully as he quietly apologized,
"I'm sorry..."
Letting go of his hand you take a step forward and gently cradle his face in your hands, tilting his head up slightly so he can look at you. You look into his eyes and the anger you saw before was replaced with pain. Softly you cooed,
"It's okay darling."
"No. It's not. I shouldn't have done it." Five replied hurt "We both remember the last time I took my anger out on you and look how great that turned out."
Five turned his head slightly to look away from you. He couldn't believe himself for directing his anger towards you when you didn't do anything wrong. When you've never done anything wrong. If anything he had done wrong towards you. You knew Five regretted the day you both traveled through time. He had mentioned it to you a few times but sometimes he'd have a far-off look and you could just tell that his thoughts of that day were consuming him again. He lived with so much pain due to his actions and their consequences and you wished you could just take it all away. You tilted his face back towards you and tried to comfort him,
"Five, I don't blame you for what happened that day, it was the result of years of cruelty from your father, and no offense to them, but your siblings have let you down consistently over what has only been two weeks for you. You had and have every right to be upset."
"You're correct but that didn't and doesn't make it right for me to take it out on you." Five calmly explained "It was wrong then and it's wrong now. I'm sorry."
"It's okay my love." you forgive
"How can you be so forgiving of me? After everything I've done?" Five questions
"Five I knew who you were before that day, and I know you now. People make mistakes, and you're no exception, but it's the actions you took after them that prove you're a good person and worthy of forgiveness." You inform
Five just looks at you for a second before stepping forward and wrapping you tightly in his arms. You remove your hands from his face and wrap your arms around his neck hugging him back. He loved you so much and god knows what he would do if he lost you again. He didn't want to lose his family either. He'd never say it especially because he's tried to show it to no avail, but he cared about his siblings. They were his family and he wanted them to live just as much as he wanted you to. The apocalypse was coming and time was running out for you and his family. And that worried him. As you hug him, you can feel his face bury into the crook of your neck. Gently, you stroke his hair as he quietly says,
"They make it so hard. I just want you all to live."
"I know, but you have a brilliant mind and I know you'll figure out how to get us out of here." You whisper back to him
Five shakes his head on your shoulder before he lifts his head to rest his forehead against yours.
"I don't deserve you." He remarks
"Say that again and I'll kill you." you threaten
Five lets out a light chuckle and a smirk comes to his face. He could not tell how serious your statement was but he found your threat of violence to be cute anyway. You and Five pull your faces back from each other and Five just looks at you for a second. He truly did not know how he could live without you. Nodding his head, Five straightened up and said,
"Alright, I have a hail mary plan in mind but I have to figure out some details first."
"Okay. While you do that I think I'm going to go check to see if Charlie is around. No guarantees he's come this way yet but just in case he has I want to let him know I'm okay." You reply
You nod your head at him and start to walk away but when you get to the door you turn back to look at him again and add,
"If you figure out your plan and I'm not back, just go without me I'll wait here."
"Okay." Five replies "I love you."
"I love you too."
You then exit the room and let your boyfriend be. He was going to need the time and space to figure out what to do. As you walk out you see that Luther had passed out on the couch in the living room. Stopping the apocalypse was a pretty tiring affair. You walked out of the apartment and looked around the street. It was pretty barren and a lot of shops were closed given that JFK was in town. Most people had probably headed downtown to see the motorcade later today. it sure would be eventful. You couldn't really see Charlie's car anywhere and you were about to turn around when you hear what sounded like a woman yell out,
"HELP!"
Immediately, your instincts kicked in and you ran towards the voice screaming out. Following it down an alley you stopped and looked around for who was in danger. Before you could turn around though something jabbed into your back and you started to feel dizzy. You tried to fight off whatever was happening but it was too late and you collapsed to the group. As your consciousness started to fade in and out, the last thing you heard was someone saying,
"I'm sure your brother will be happy to see you."
Back at the apartment, Five had finally come to terms with his plan. He needed to intercept the last person he'd want to see in this timeline. Himself. An older-looking version of him had arrived in Dallas no more than 10 minutes ago to kill President Kennedy and although it was risky, if they could get the briefcase from him, Five knew he could get his family home. He needed to prepare though. Rushing out of the bedroom, Five heads towards the kitchen and loudly opens the refrigerator door. The sound of the fridge causes Luther to wake. And as he gets up from the couch he calls out,
"Five? Five?"
Five ignored the calls as he grabbed a container of water and started to chug it down. When Luther entered the kitchen he looked upon the sight before him of Five intensely drinking water. Furrowing his eyebrows, Luther asks confused,
"Five, you okay?"
Five gasps heavily as he finishes the water and puts the container back in the fridge. "I'm gonna need to be hydrated." Five states
"Hydrated?" Luther questions
Luther watches as Five frantically looks around the kitchen for something before having his eyes lock on the kitchen table. Five walks over to it and quickly grabs a bottle of baby powder off of it before sprinkling some down each sleeve of his shirt and then some down his pants. Luther grew concerned about what was going on as he inquires,
"What's with the baby powder?" "It'll help with the itching." Five responds "What itching? There's itching? What the hell is going on here?" Luther asks before realizing "You do have a plan." Five does a few jumps and shakes to even out the baby powder he had practically doused himself in. Grabbing his jacket from the chair he walks past Luther into the living room of Elliott's apartment and explains, "Well, it's a desperation move, but since our brain-dead siblings are incapable of meeting a simple deadline, I got no choice."
Luther turns to look at his sibling and asks, "No choice about what?"
"I have to find myself." Five states looking at his watch "I just arrived in Dallas 15 minutes ago." "Should I be worried about you?"
Five puts his academy jacket back on before bending over and starting to stretch. If he was going to do this he needed to know he was dexterous enough to fight or run after himself. With his younger body and surplus of energy, it probably wouldn't be that hard. Then again it was only two weeks ago when he was still working for the commission as well, and even in his old age, he was taking people out left and right. As he stretches Five explains,
"Luther, if you recall, I was sent to 1963 on a job by the Commission to make sure the president was assassinated." "Oh! So, wait, your old self is out there." Luther says
Five stood up and looked at his brother. Finally, the wheels in Luther's big monkey brain were starting to turn and he was starting to grasp the plan Five had come up with. "Precisely." Five states "What, just walking around Dallas?" Luther asks confused
Nevermind. The monkey brain was still a monkey brain. Realizing his nitwit brother would not understand unless he described it in the same way he'd talk to a six-year-old, Five emphasized, "Walking around Dallas with a briefcase that can get us home."
Luther's eyes go wide and a surprised expression appears on his face as Five watches the lightbulb finally goes off in Luther's head. It was honestly disappointing how long it took for that to happen. "Oh, my God. Five, you're a genius!" Luther exclaims
He may be a genius but the plan wasn't perfect though. There were significant flaws in it but it was a hail-mary for a reason. Turning to Luther, Five elaborates, "However, there are two significant problems with this plan. Problem number one: I am a trained assassin, arguably the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum. If I know me, I'm not going to react kindly to bumping into myself. Problem number two, and this is the real fly in the ointment here: you're not supposed to exist in close proximity to yourself in the same timeline. The side effects can be disastrous." "Side effects? What sort of side effects?" Luther inquires
"Well, according to Commission Handbook Chapter 27, subsection 3b, the seven stages in paradox psychosis are stage one: denial, two: itching, three: extreme thirst and urination, four: excessive gas, five: acute paranoia, six: uncontrolled perspiration, and seven: homicidal rage." Five explains "Homicidal rage?" Luther questions
"Yeah." Five states "Jeez, I don't know. This maybe isn't such a good idea." "It's a Hail Mary. But what choice do we got, Luther?" Five exclaims "I don't know, you already seem a bit squirrelly if I'm being honest." "Look, Luther, I'm gonna need you to help me get through this one, all right? I...I need a spotter." "A spotter?"
"Yeah."
"What is that? Like, a wingman?" Luther questions
"In case the paradox psychosis gets too severe, I need you to help me stay on task, all right? So, whatever happens, whatever I say, we need to get that briefcase. Okay?" Five explains
"Okay, but where's (Y/N)?" Luther questions looking around
"I don't know. She said she was going on a walk to find Charlie but I guess hasn't come back yet." Five states "Maybe it's better that way though."
"You don't want your girlfriend coming? Don't you think she could rationalize with you more than I can if things get bad with this paradox psychosis?" Luther states concerned
"Most likely, and honestly I wouldn't mind some more steadiness from her" Five says
He then stops for a moment to think about the events at the Lonely Lodger Inn from earlier. He wouldn't mind that at all.
"Five?" Luther calls
Pulled from his thoughts he looks back to Luther and continues to explain,
"BUT if she's not there I can use my knowledge of her as leverage against myself. 45 years ago was the last time he saw her alive. He's sad, desperate, and blames himself for her death. We can use his emotional turmoil to get the briefcase if necessary."
Luther looked at his brother shocked. He knew where Five was coming from but it was almost vile considering using you against the other version of himself. Like he had said that version of him is sad, desperate, and blames himself for your death. Withholding knowledge about you just to get the briefcase would probably be on torture levels for him. Luther knew how strongly Five felt about you and the two of you were together now, so he could only imagine what could happen with the version that hasn't seen you in years.
"You're going to use your girlfriend like blackmail against yourself?"
"As I said, if necessary I will." Five comments as he starts to walk away "Now, come on Luther."
"Right..." Luther says to himself
Leaving out of the apartment the two of them head out in search of Five's Commission self. Although both still wondered where you were.
____________________________
As you started to regain your consciousness the world around you began to flood your senses. Your mind felt fogged as your head rested heavily on a cold surface. Your eyelids drooped but you tried to open them to see where you were. Through blurred vision, you were able to make out an empty grey room. It reminded you of the interrogation room at the police station Eudora worked at. This definitely wasn't the alley you were in. You moved your body around and with enough force, you manage to get yourself upright but your heavy head still hung low. As you became upright you could feel your backside hit the backing of the chair you were in. You moved your arms trying to readjust yourself but as you did so you hear the sounds of clanking and realized there was something around your wrists. You were handcuffed.
"Maybe Charlie was right about not running towards danger." You groan
It felt like your physical being and consciousness were both moving through sludge. Whatever that person injected into you to knock you out was sure as hell powerful. You tried to think of a plan to get out but all of them involved your powers and you could just feel the fatigue run through your veins from the sedative. Taking some breaths you tried to figure out where you were and where to go from here. Listening carefully you could hear the buzzing of the light above you but also the sounds of people walking and chattering outside the room you were in. Gathering energy, you threw your head back so that it was facing up towards the ceiling. You moved your eyes around and spotted a door to the left of you. There were no real defining characteristics to let you know where you were. Maybe Reggie had informed the government about you and now the FBI or CIA was going to use you as a weapon of mass destruction. Maybe the Soviets had kidnapped you and were going to use you as ransom to the US government because apparently, the world saw you as the adoptive daughter of an eccentric billionaire. Either way, you didn't know where you were and you didn't know how to get out. Overall, this was a very bad situation. Without any other real options, you sat there and waited for something to happen. As you did so you could hear the door open and the sound of someone walking into the room before closing the door behind them.
"Good, you're awake." The voice commented
You knew that voice. It was the same one as the person who had knocked you out. Although you were still too sluggish to do anything about your situation you could feel a fire start to build. Rolling your head to the side you looked towards the figure. Across the other side of a table stood a woman in all black clothes with a late 90s grunge cut with a fake smile on her face. Narrowing your eyes at them you demanded,
"Where am I?"
"You're at the Temps Commission." They responded
"Fuck." You said under your breath
This was worse than you thought, and now you were wishing you were captured by the KGB or US government. You had no clue what they knew nor what they wanted from you and since you couldn't fight back, the best course of action was to stay quiet. No matter what, you would not reveal any information about the Hargreeves but especially Five. They had been on his ass ever since he returned to 2019 and you were not going to let them get to him. The woman before you looked over as you sat in silence.
"What, no more questions?" They inquire "I feel like you'd have a lot more given who I am."
"I have no clue who you are." You remark
"Lila?"
Oh. Her. Great. Letting out an annoyed huff you stare at her with an unimpressed expression.
"Ah yes, now I recall," You comment, sarcasm laced in your voice "You're my emotionally damaged, older brother's sloppy seconds hookup, who in reality is a vomit bag of lies and manipulation."
"Listen here you little prick, I'm his girlfriend." She snaps
"You ain't shit. His girlfriend is a corpse, six feet under and somehow she's still better than you." You scoff
As your confidence grew, you started to realize that the sedative was wearing off more. You started to feel less sluggish and although physically you couldn't do much your mind became clearer. You didn't want to tip Lila off that you were regaining your strength though so you stayed in your slumped position but kept a cocky look on your face. Lila slams her hands down on the table and stares at you intensely.
"I should kill you." She threatens
"Do it. I'm sure that'll go over real well with my brother." You remark sarcastically
"You a bigger pain in the ass than Five." She remarks annoyed
"Good." You reply curtly
The two of you stare each other down intensely, neither of you saying anything. After a few moments, Lila remarks,
"You're an asshole."
"And you're the walking embodiment of sad British cooking. Fucking basic beans and toast looking ass bitch." You retort
You watch and Lila's face contorted with a flurry of emotions. Shock, confusion, anger. They were all present. Lila then stands up straight once more and in a monotone voice states,
"I have a meeting to go to."
Turning away from you she heads to the door. As she does so you shout behind her,
"Ha! That's right, leave! And just know if I could flip you off right now I would!"
As Lila steps out of the room you can hear her say to someone,
"You watch over her for now and bring her to my mother's office in 15 minutes. Understood?"
And as Lila fully leaves the room another woman steps in. Closing the door behind her, she looks through the glass window of the door as if trying to check for something before pulling the curtain down. Locking the door she walks over to the table and pulls up a chair across from you. With her hands clasped nicely on the table, she gives you a genuine wide smile and says,
"Hiya! I'm Dot!"
You looked at the woman before you. She seemed kind but this was also the Temps Commission so you had your reservations about trusting her.
"(Y/N)..."
"Oh, I know!" She replies in an upbeat tone "And let me tell you, a lot of us down at case management are so happy for you and Five. A lot of us wish the process was sped up but we have no real say in any decisions here but gosh we're just so happy for you two."
You stared at her blankly. She seemed sincere in her congrats, but part of you worried this was just some ploy to get you to let your guard down. You shifted uncomfortably in your chair and quietly commented back,
"Uh...thanks."
Dot let out a small sigh as her smile faltered a bit. Giving you a soft expression she lowers her voice and states,
"Listen, I know you're probably hesitant to trust me but if I'm going to get you out of here you're going to need to."
"I'm not going to trust anybody here. Five has told me all about you all." You state
"I understand. Let me just do something to prove you can trust me. Please just don't run after I do it. It'll cause a whole lotta trouble for the both of us." Dot says
You watch as she gets up from her seat and walks behind you. You try to turn your head as best as you can to see what she's doing but between the sedative still working its way out of your system and the fact you could not turn your head like an owl it was difficult. You watch as she crouches down for a second and then you hear the sound of something clattering to the ground. Dot walks back to her chair and sits down. As she does that you realize the clattering sound was that of your handcuffs falling to the floor. She had let you go knowing there was a chance you would run away. If you were able to move better maybe you would but that wasn't a possibility yet and you were a little curious as to what was up with her now. Shaking your wrists out a bit, Dot comments to you,
"You're free now, but please don't run. Let me get you out of here the right way."
"Get me out of here? What do you mean?" You questioned as you rested your arms on the table
Dot looked around the room once more checking to make sure nothing was there to see and hear her. Looking back towards you she explains,
"The Handler is trying to take over the commission. I and a few other folks are part of an underground resistance effort to try and stop her, because if she takes the reigns of this whole place we have no clue what will happen, but we know it won't be good."
"What do you know then?" You question, leaning forward in your seat
"From what we can infer, she wants the apocalypse to happen and she wants it to wipe out Five and the rest of the Hargreeves. But Lila obviously has a soft spot for your brother and brought him here."
"My brother Diego." You state
You knew that it was Diego who she brought. Of course, it was. Logically, it was the only answer that made sense. Hell, she thought she was his girlfriend. And yet, there was a part of you that thought about your other brother, Dean. You knew it was unlikely that he was here. It was virtually impossible, but maybe if he was all of your friends were here too. The look on your face must've said what you were thinking because Dot reached across the table and took your hands in her own.
"I'm sorry about your other brother." She consoled
Your heart clenched at those words. Taking a deep breath you attempted to ask,
"I'm guessing he..."
"Yes." Dot answered, "Along with the rest of your friends."
You looked down and nodded your head lightly. You knew how the world ended. You knew that the reality you had known, did end. And yet, somehow up until now, you had been able to block out the true gravity of the situation. You remembered how you joked with Charlie that he was the only friend you had left and to stay away from fireplaces or else you would have no one. You truly had not grieved their loss for years and instead had evaded it with humor or distractions. But now you were faced with the truth that you had always known. Your friends were dead. The apocalypse killed them. You held Dot's hands a little tighter as you squeezed your eyes shut trying to keep the tears that were forming back. With eyes still closed, you took a few small breaths before quietly asking,
"How did it happen?"
There was a silence in the room as the air loomed heavy over the two of you. Dot then took a breath before answering,
"In their last moments, they were all together singing happy birthday to your friend Kenny."
You lifted your head towards Dot and opened your eyes. You nodded your head as you managed to fight back your grief and replied softly.
"...at least Dean kept his promise."
"I know this is difficult for you to deal with especially since things are already so stressful but we can get them back." Dot states calmly
"How?" You inquired
If you had a chance to save the Hargreeves, and get your friends back, you would take it, no matter what. You loved them all and nothing was going to stop you from keeping them alive.
"In the simplest of terms, stop The Handler, Stop the 1963 apocalypse, and return the original timeline."
"I'm in." You reply without hesitation "What do I need to do?"
"Lila knows that you matter more to Diego than she does, so she brought you here to use you to keep Diego in line. We're going to head to the Handler's office soon so Lila can use you as said bait. What you need to do is still pretend that you are too sedated to actually fight or anything." Dot starts to explain
"Pretend? I am still too sedated to fight." You state confused
"Not for long though." She replies "I went to our Metaphysics Division laboratory-"
She had to be joking right? The whole concept of the Temps Commission was crazy enough but a Metaphysics Division was honestly ridiculous to you. Cutting her off you sarcastically questioned,
"Metaphysics Division? What do they do? Turn decades into candy? Synthesize a person's memories from their DNA into an injectable? Create bodies for consciousness to be transferred into?"
"They already did the first one, I'm sure they could do the second if they tried, and they accomplished the last one until Five blew up the briefcase room which unfortunately shared a wall with the lab. They moved the lab location to a safer spot after that." Dot explained, "Point being, I stole a vile of adrenaline for you."
"Because adrenaline helps bring back my powers. That's genius." You compliment
"Yes. So during the meeting, you're just going to pretend that you're still very sedated but after that, we move into phase 2."
"And what's that?" You ask
"We're getting you out of here and back to Five."
With that, Dot pulls the vial of adrenaline and a packaged medical needle out of her pocket and slides them across the table to you.
"I'm not sure what your limit is so I don't want to be the one to inject it. Also, as a fair warning, we don't have much time until I need to take you to the Handler's office." Dot explains
You nodded your head at her and grab the vial and needle. You had watched Kenny do this enough times for you that you felt you could figure it out on your own with minimal problems. Opening the packaged needle you go through the steps to fill it with the adrenaline from the vile before injecting it into your arm. You weren't sure how much you were supposed to give yourself but you felt much more energized even in the few minutes after doing so. Dot turned to you and you knew from the look on her face that it was time to go. Grabbing the handcuffs from the floor you handed them to Dot before putting your hands behind your back. Once they were on you got yourself in the headspace of pretending to be somewhat sedated and started acting less alert and coordinated.
"Are you ready?" Dot questioned
"Yup. Let's set this plan in motion." You reply
Dot then unlocks the door and the two of you walk out of the room down the halls of the commission towards the Handler's office. In the office though, the Handler looked in disbelief at Lila and her pick for new commission security detail.
"Are you kidding me?" The Handler exclaims
"You said I could hire my own team." Lila states "Yes, but I didn't mean him, for God's sake. If you don't see the problem with hiring you-know-who's brother, then you're not ready for that badge." The Handler complains
Diego looks at the scene before him of the back and forth between mother and daughter. This was going nowhere and he was not meant to be here. Trying to get up and leave he says, "I'm sorry, but I really need to get going." "Shut up!" They both yell at him
Diego slowly sits back down in his seat as the two of them go back and forth with each other. "I can't do this job if you don't trust my instincts," Lila complains "Sweetheart, your vagina needs glasses. He is not worth it." The Handler criticizes "Mum! Oh, my God."Lila exclaims embarrassed before changing her tune "This may shock you, but not everyone here likes you."
The Handler looks at Lila confused as she states, "Sounds ridiculous, but go on." "You need fresh blood loyal to us and not the old regime. I've seen Diego in the field. He is so much better trained than most of the assholes here. Why waste that when we can use it? He'll be my personal responsibility." Lila explains to her mother
The Handler turns her attention from Lila to Diego.
"You know, your brother Five and I have quite a colorful history." The handler playfully comments with a wink
Diego looks at her confused and disgusted. He hoped to god that she wasn't insinuating what he thought she was because if so he was going to kick Five's ass. Trying to both change the topic, and gage what she meant Diego replies, "My brother has beef with all except one person, and that person is not me." Diego retorts "Let me ask you something. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun, where do your loyalties lie, with your family or your principles?" The Handler asks "With me. I don't belong to anybody. Especially Lila." Diego retorts
The handler stares Diego down for a bit and there is a silence in the air. Turning back to Lila she states, "That I can work with. Run him through orientation and fill out his paperwork."
A wide smile comes to Lila's face as she happily exclaims, "Aw, thanks, Mum! I'm glad you're on board, but just to be sure he behaves I do have an insurance policy in place."
"A what?" Diego questioned
The door then opened from behind him. You had been waiting on the other side of the wall with Dot for a few minutes for some kind of signal to enter the room. You guessed Lila wanted dramatic effect, which was very villain-esque and very cliche. Walking into the room you made sure that you looked physically weak so that they wouldn't feel like you had the full ability to fight them again. Dot sat you down in a chair in between Diego and Lila before walking back outside of the room. Turning to your brother you smile at him and comment,
"Hey Eggo, how's it going? Did you get drugged and kidnapped as well?"
Diego's pulse begins to quicken as he looks between you and Lila. Anger started to build inside of him as his eyes locked on Lila. She looked at him from her seat with confusion.
"Diego, what's wrong?" She questioned
Diego couldn't believe that it was even a question of what could be wrong. How could she not see the awful nature of what she had done? Shooting up from his chair, Diego moves to place himself between you and Lila. He wasn't going to let her get any closer to you. She had already hurt you once and there was no way he was going to let it happen again. Not on his watch.
"What's wrong?" He questioned rhetorically before yelling "YOU DRUGGED AND KIDNAPPED MY SISTER!"
Lila did not fully think this plan through. She knew that Diego had a soft spot for you so she knew she could use you to help get him to stay and work as security. What she had not anticipated was his anger. She thought he would be a little upset but still happy to have you with him. That was not looking like the case though. Standing up as well, Lila tries to downplay the severity of what she had done.
"Diego, calm down, she's fine. A little sedated but fine." Lila explains with some nervous laughter
"Fine would be her not being here at all Lila!" Diego rebuked
The Handler looked at the lover's quarrel going on between the two of them. It was unexpected but it revealed a side of Diego that was unknown before. It was impressive that Lila had thought ahead to bring in the one loyalty that Diego had so that he would be less likely to act out.
"I see you do have some loyalties..." The Handler comments "Good thinking on the blackmail sweetheart."
As you quietly sat handcuffed, trying to pretend that you had no ability to use your powers, you couldn't help but get irritated at Lila and Diego. Feeling the need to add your input, you cut in commenting,
"Y'know...I'm just putting it out there, but Eudora never would've drugged and kidnapped me to use me as blackmail because she was actually a good person."
"Shut up." Lila scolds, glaring at you
"Don't talk to my sister like that!" Diego reprimands
"Yeah! Fuck you, beans and toast." You add
"What?" Diego asks looking down at you confused
"Just roll with it." You whisper back to him
"Diego," Lila calls bringing his attention back to her "Look at it this way. At least she's with you her brother and not her awful boyfriend, Five."
"He's a pain in my ass, and I don't like sharing her but he's not an awful boyfriend. Everything he has done is for her." Diego replies
"I'm telling him you said that." You mention
Diego once again turns to look at you and in the sternest of tones he states,
"No."
He then turns back to Lila and continues to explain,
"And second of all, I'd rather her be with him than here because then at least I know she's protected."
The Handler was becoming less and less amused by this argument the more it went on. Deciding she was done with their petty bickering she stood up from her desk and commanded,
"Enough. Lila, take your little puppy to orientation."
Lila tried grabbing Diego's arm to take him away but he held his ground. No matter what he was not going to leave you behind, especially not alone with the Handler. Lila looked between her mother and Diego, growing increasingly worried about what would happen if Diego didn't leave with her soon. Lila tried pulling him along once more but he pulled his arm from her grasp. Placing a hand on your shoulder he turned to face the handler. Standing his ground, Diego demanded,
"I'm not going anywhere without my sister."
"Alright." The handler replies monotonously "Kill him, Lila."
"No!" You and Lila shout in unison
The two of you glare at each other before you look towards your brother. He was not dying just because he felt this need to stick around and protect you. You knew he was always going to put you first in a way he barely did with anyone else, but you were not going to risk losing your other brother because of his need to protect you.
"Diego please go." You asked calmly
Diego looked towards you before crouching down in front of you. Looking you in the eyes, he gently holds onto each of your arms. He said no words but you could feel his hands shake.
"I'm not leaving you." He stated, trying to keep his voice calm
There was a certain deja vu to the conversation you were having with Diego. Your brain traveling back to that day in 2019. You tried not to think too much about it but knowing what had happened after made this conversation even harder. You didn't want to make your brother leave, but you knew you needed to so he could be safe. You just hoped that this time things would turn out better.
"Diego. Go." You forced out
He looked at you sadly but knew you wouldn't budge on the issue. Wrapping his arms around you he pulls you into a tight hug, not wanting to let you go. If your hands weren't cuffed behind your back you would've held him as well but all you could do was rest your head on his shoulder.
"I'll be okay," you whispered, trying to reassure Diego of the decision
"I'm gonna come back for you." He whispered back
He let out a sigh before standing up and reluctantly nodding towards Lila to show him the way. You turned your head to watch him leave. Diego looked back at you one more time, hoping that he would see your face again soon. And with that, he left and you were now left alone with the Handler herself. You watched as she made her way around her desk and leaned back on it so she was now in front of you. She gave you a smile that was nowhere near as friendly as Dot's was. It unsettled you greatly. Instinctively, you leaned back in your seat as you stared quietly back at her.
"So you must be Five's little plaything," The handler comments "I'm so glad I finally get to meet you. I was hoping it would be on better circumstances but for some reason, Five never wanted to bring you around."
You could see why he didn't want you two to meet. Although she tried to portray herself as kind it was very evident that she was psychotic.
"Not much of a talker, huh?" She questions "Maybe a candy would help? Would you like one?"
She gestures to a bowl of candy on her desk. Honestly, you wouldn't mind one and you were so done with the day at this point that you were willing to accept the risk it might be poisoned.
"Sure, but uh...I can't really grab it." You reply shaking your arms to gesture to the handcuffs
The handler moves from leaning on her desk to behind you and undoes one handcuff before re-cuffing it on the armrest of the chair you were in. Still not great, but at least you were able to have some movement of your hands and arms. The handler grabs a piece of candy from the bowl and hands it to you. A smirk resided on her face as she watches you take the candy from her hand.
"Here have this one," she says before walking back behind her desk
As she walks back to her chair, you unwrap the candy and pop it in your mouth. It didn't taste too great. It tasted like stress and tears and sadness, but then again it was not as bad as the weird food concoctions you and your friends had made before. You crunched on it a little bit before swallowing it all. As the handler sits back down in her seat she starts to say,
"We've synthesized specific years into- wait did you just eat that whole thing?"
"Yeah." You reply bluntly
"That was The Great Depression candy." She states shocked
"Ah, that makes more sense. I thought it just tasted like finals week. Not bad though." You respond
The handler looks at you baffled. She purposely gave you the Great Depression as a way to knock you down and show her superiority but you ate the whole thing like it was nothing.
"Not bad? It was made to taste like blood, sweat, tears, and depression."
You shrug your shoulders and nonchalantly reply,
"It could be worse."
"It could be worse? What is wrong with you?" She questions before saying "Nevermind."
The handler took a moment to try and regain herself. Not even she was able to eat the Great Depression candy without gagging. This was a situation she had not anticipated but she wasn't going to be confused or intimidated by some child. You on the other hand felt a pride rise inside you. You tried to hold your laughter back as you thought to yourself, Now I've thrown her off her rhythm. This situation was bad but at least you were able to make it entertaining. The handler after reestablishing her "polite" composure brought a faux smile back to her face as she turned her attention towards you again.
"You are quite the individual. Just like Five, we've had our eyes on you for a long time."
"That's kinda creepy but alright." You comment back
"Well, we do monitor all of time to make sure that what's supposed to happen, happens. Of course, we were going to notice children with unexplained immense powers, such as yourself. Molecular manipulation is quite the gift."
"Yeah, you could say I'm the main character of this story." You mention with a wink "No one can do what I do."
"I'm sure someone could mimic your powers."
"Ha! I sure would like to see that bitch try." you scoffed "The dipshit would be writhing on the ground in pain for their hubris. I can only imagine what type of dumbass would willingly take on feeling the extent of everything that makes up this world without years of tolerance training. Idiot."
You couldn't believe the stupidity of her statement. You'd think if she had been monitoring you throughout your life that she would know it took you forever to build up a tolerance to feeling the molecules in the world. Before you started learning to control your abilities you blew stuff up as a child because you were in pain. Imagine having such a large ego that you think you could copy that without putting in any training for it. What a "yeah let me just try to surpass god" type of mentality you were getting from this woman.
The handler couldn't believe you either. She was growing more frustrated with you having some kind of counterpoint to everything she did or said. It was like you were prepared to be here even though it was clearly established that you weren't. She was just glad that the only power you had right now was the ability to run your mouth. The handler knew she was going to get under your skin though. She had her ways.
"You know, it's just so sweet the history that you and Five have. Always believing the two of you would find each other again one day." She states, traces of malice in her tone "It's something I thought about during Five and I's involved, and colorful history."
You furrowed your eyebrows. Did- did she think you were stupid? You knew she was trying to suggest that she and Five were a thing but they obviously weren't. Anyone with half a brain cell could see that. Your boyfriend hated this woman and hated his time at the commission. He said it himself, it was nothing more than a job. He absolutely despised these people, especially her, and currently was working directly against this organization as he always had been. And on top of it, everything he's done was motivated by his love for you. Even Diego who was not happy that you had a boyfriend knew that was Five's motivation. This woman was certifiably insane.
"Ma'am if you're trying to insinuate you fucked my boyfriend, I know you're lying. Intimacy of any kind, but especially physical intimacy catches him off guard." You elaborate unamused "Also if you two have such an involved history then why is that he spent his whole life trying to get back to me, despises you and the rest of the commission, and is actively trying to thwart you in every way possible."
The handler glared at you. She thought she was going to get under your skin with that comment and yet here you sat throwing it back in her face and getting under hers. Scornfully she rebuked,
"You know I never quite understood why Five chose you. I can't seem to find one reason to like you."
"Well, I can seem to find a lot of reasons actually. I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm powerful, I cared for him when no one else would, I didn't knowingly leave him alone in an apocalyptic wasteland for 45 years." You retort sarcastically "And those are just a few of the many reasons."
"You know pride is one of the seven deadly sins," The handler comments leaning forward in her seat
"So is envy." you retort
The handler gets back up from her seat and walks over to you once more. Looking down at you with contempt she asks,
"You know what I see?"
"What?" you reply
"I see a weak, pathetic child who thinks that she's the center of attention in this giant book of life. A child who is so scared of confronting her past she hides behind a harsh exterior with only her words to defend her." She attempts to insult
It didn't work though because you knew she was wrong. She had no clue who you were or what you were like. You had her stumped and you knew she was grasping at straws to try and put you down. To try and make you feel belittled so that she could exert power over you. She had no power over you because the fact of the matter was, you were the one in power here, and you were going to assert it.
"Well, you know what I see?" You ask with a smug smile
"No. Tell me, what do you see?"
Still handcuffed you lean forward in your chair looking up at where she stood right in front of you. Lowering your voice you go on to say,
"I see a woman, past her prime, deluded by a fantasy of some kind of romantic tryst with a man who never wanted her to begin with. You have led yourself so far down a path of irrationality that you have convinced yourself there was some kind of connection that was never there. He was your subordinate, nothing more. And now here you stand, grasping at straws for some sense of control and power, in the middle of a failing coup d'état of your own making, because you feel like you are losing your grip on the reality you created for yourself. A reality wrecked by the very man that you convinced yourself wanted you back."
Immediately after you finished your statement, the handler's hand snapped towards you and grabbed your face. She forced your head up to look at her and you could see the rage in her eyes. You were winning this battle. Angrily the handler replied,
"You better show me some respect. I have the power to ruin your life, take everything you love away, I could even kill you for that matter."
"I don't need to show you shit. My life has already been ruined, practically all that I love has disappeared in one way or another," You retort "and just so you know, the only way I'll ever die is if I choose to let it happen."
The handler leaned in towards you and her grip on your face tightened. You could feel her nails sink into your skin a little more. You weren't intimidated by her though. She was pathetic and wasn't worth your time. When she got close enough to you a sadistic smirk came to your face for a moment before you spit in hers. The handler whipped your head to the side as she pulled back in disgust. Wiping her face off she looks towards you in anger but you sit there with a proud smile.
"You're lucky you make good blackmail or else you'd be dead right now." she comments furiously before shouting "DOT!"
Dot quickly enters the room and the handler whips her gaze towards her.
"Take this disgusting child back to her holding cell." She commands
Dot nods her head and quietly makes her way over to you. Unlocking the one handcuff from the armrest she redoes the cuffs behind your back before helping you to stand. The two of you walk towards the door to leave the handler's office but before you do so you stop in your place. Turning to face the handler you firmly state,
"Les chaînes des oppresseurs ne durent que tant que les opprimés les laissent rester. La liberté est inévitable."
And without another word you and Dot left.
____________________________
"Well, there I am." Five stated
He and Luther had made their way over to the pub that Five knew he would be at. From behind a pillar the two of them spied on older looking but younger self. Five remembered this day perfectly. He had sat over at the bar trying to perfect the equation to jump forward to 2019. He thought about you a lot, wondering how you would feel about him coming back, if you would be upset with him...if he'd get the opportunity to confess his feelings even though it probably would go nowhere.
What a sad mess of a man.
"Hey Five, why don't we just grab the briefcase and run?" Luther questioned "Luther, I would never let that happen. We're trained to guard these briefcases with our lives." Five explained "Plus, it's the inherent paradox where this gets tricky. I'm endangering my existence just being in the room with myself."
"Huh...What do you mean?" Luther asked confused
God, how dense was he? Did Five really have to spell it out for his brother? Letting out an exasperated sigh, Five elaborated,
"Luther, try to keep up. If old me doesn't travel back to 2019 like he's supposed to, the whole thing unravels itself. I cease to exist. You got me?" "I get you," Luther responds
Five was not confident though that Luther actually got him. "So our best chance is to talk with him, to reason with him." Five continues "He'll understand. Trust me. I know myself better than, uh...better than I know myself."
Unconsciously, Five reaches back and scratches the back of his neck causing Luther to quietly exclaim, "You just itched your neck. That's stage two of paradox psychosis."
"No, I didn't. I didn't itch my neck." Five denies "Denial is stage one." Luther reminds
Five was not going to deal with this back and forth. He was fine. Completely and utterly fine. Nothing was wrong at all and no paradox psychosis was setting in. He was good. Snapping at his brother he states, "I am fine, okay? Let's stay on task, shall we?"
Five attempts to start walking over to his commission self but Luther puts an arm out to stop him. "Wait!" Luther says "What?" Five questions
"Maybe I should go first." "Why?"
"Well, you'll freak him out. Bumping into your own tiny doppelganger? He will lose his shit. Just let me break the ice." Luther suggests
Five thought about it for a second and realized Luther was right. It might be better to send him in, although now he was wishing he had you here because you would probably be the best option to reason with him. But then again, he could see himself freaking out even more because your presence in 1963 meant something very wrong happened. Well, at least he still had the blackmail option. Five nods to his brother and Luther slowly makes his way over to commission Five. Luther awkward leans on the bar next to him and calls,
"Five."
Commission Five registered the word the person had just said to him but wasn't sure if he was hearing him correctly. Looking up at the person he sees a giant man standing there. Looking him up and down he asks, "What'd you call me, big man?" "It's me. Number One?" Luther replies "Luther. How did you...?" Commission Five questions as he starts to reach down towards the briefcase at his feet
"It's okay. Everything is fine. I can explain. But first, I need to introduce you to somebody. Just promise me you won't freak out." Luther tries to calm "What the hell are you talking about?" Five replies with wide eyes
"Uh! Don't freak out. No freak-outs. All right?" "Hey there, stranger." Academy Five greeted
The two of them stare quietly at each other. This was the worst of situations and both of them knew it but what was more important was making sure they were the one to possess the briefcase.
"How about we all sit down together?" Luther suggests
Commission Five leans down and grabs the briefcase as Academy Five continues to stare at him. Cautiously the two of them walk over to a nearby table that Luther has found available. Slowly the Five's sit down across from each other, their staring contest continuing on.
"I'll get us some drinks!" Luther exclaims walking over to the bar
Neither of them said a word to their other and tension loomed in the air. Neither knew if it was due to the paradox psychosis or just the fact that they both had to look at a reflection of their and future failures. Either way, it was an undesirable experience. After a minute, Luther comes back with three pints of beer in hand. Placing one in front of each person at the table he takes a seat and comments,
"Well...this is nice, isn't it? The three of us, together like this." "No." Both Fives say in unison "Somebody explain to me how it is I'm having a pint of Guinness with my younger self." Commission Five inquired
"Older, actually. I'm you, just 14 days older." Academy Five states
Commission Five leans in more as he remarks, "I have pubic hair smarter than you. How's that possible?"
"I can explain. You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you break your contract with the Commission. I already know you're thinking about it. All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family" Five explains taking a pause before continuing "About (Y/N)."
Luther looks between the two Fives confused. They worried about the family? It was understandable that they worried about you but the family too? Surprising. Commission Five's eyes glaze over for a second and he looks off in the distance as his teen counterpart's words resonate in his mind. He did worry about his family but mainly he worried for you. The image of that first day in the apocalypse never left him no matter how many years had passed. It was seared into his memory and haunted his nightmares. Coming back into focus, Five leans in and replies in a low voice,
"Of course. Why wouldn't I worry about her? You know what happened." "I do know what happened and preventing that outcome is the most important thing. So today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to mess up the calculations, screw up the jump, and end up in this younger body." Academy Five explains
"Okay. So what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?" Commission Five asks
"No, no. I need you to jump. If you don't jump, I cease to exist and there is someone in this timeline who would not be happy about that." Academy Five states firmly
Commission Five's eyes go wide. Instinctively, his hand and covers the part where his locket rested. Were you here in 1963 as well? His heart raced a little and he excitedly questioned,
"You mean-"
"Yes." Academy Five answered
"...What's she like?" Commission Five asked in awe at the thought of you being around
"Ethereal." "I'm listening. Go on." Commission Five pressed
This is exactly why Five was fine with you not being here. Now he had bargaining power against his former self. The pathetic man was desperate for any crumb of knowledge about you. An unfriendly smile came to Academy Five's face as he explained his offer,
"I'll be glad to tell you more in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table. And I'll even give you the right equation for this time if you want it."
Commission Five looked back at his teen-looking self without saying any words. Taking the opportunity to speak Luther re-explained, "Yeah, yeah, so you go back to 2019, as planned, see (Y/N) and this time with the right math, so you can remain a full-grown man. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you no longer need. Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." "That's quite a bit to take in." Commission Five commented
"What do you think?" Academy Five asked "I think...I need to piss." Commission Five responded
He then got up from the table, grabbing the briefcase from the floor below him, and made his way to the bathroom. Academy Five watched with wide eyes as he walked away from the table. Grabbing a napkin, Luther began to dab the sweat off of Five's face commenting, "Well, besides the flop sweat, I think that went pretty well." "No, there's something- something doesn't feel right about this." Five remarked
"What do you mean?" Luther questioned "I don't trust him." Five stated "But he's you," Luther replied confused "Exactly."
Luther slowly nodded his head. The psychosis looked like it was really starting to pick up in Five. Luther hoped they would be able to get the briefcase soon so that Five didn't get worse. Downing the rest of his pint, Luther turns to Five and explains,
"Well, I need to go take a piss as well, and maybe as your spotter, I can reason with him a bit, alright? Just wait here."
Five watches as Luther gets up and walks away. He could only hope that things would all work out the way they should.
____________________________
As you and Dot quietly walked down the hallway you whispered to her,
"What's this phase two that you have in mind?"
You watch as Dot looks around for a second to make sure no one in the hallway was paying attention before pulling you into a side corridor. She takes one more glance around the surroundings before whispering to you,
"The resistance is going to get a briefcase so you can escape back to 1963, but to get to the briefcase room unnoticed, we'll need a distraction."
"Ah, I see where is going. You want me to cause the distraction."
"Yes." Dot replies "If you can draw enough security away from the briefcase room we can slip in and get one so that you can get out of here."
You nod your head as you phase your wrists through the handcuffs so you can have your arms free again. Looking back to her you state,
"I'm not leaving without Diego."
"Don't worry, I talked to Herb, another member of the resistance in the hall, and he said he was going to retrieve him." She reassures
"Good." You respond before asking "Where should I meet you?"
"Storage closet 2. It's on the east side of the building across from the period clothing department."
You peer around the corner of the corridor and look out into the hallway to see who was there. It was relatively empty with only a few people passing by. As you keep watch you ask Dot,
"Is the briefcase room to the left or right?"
"The right. Why?" She questions
"No time for questions. Just trust me. I'll see you soon." You respond
And before she can say anything else, you turn yourself invisible and sprint off to the left down the hall. Dodging the people who were walking by, you looked for some room that seemed important. As you searched, you passed the handler's office doors. Stopping in your tracks and backing up you look at the double doors for a second. A mischievous smile comes to your face as you take each hand and place them on the door handles. You heat the molecules of the handles and the lock inside of the door so that they all start to melt before quickly cooling it all down. With the handles and lock all now one solid amalgamation you knew that she would be locked in there for a bit. Turning back around you continue running off down the hall searching for a room that seemed important until you found one. Looking at the sign that said Tube Room you decided to investigate more. Phasing through the wall you entered the room and saw a line of different tubes spread down the length of a hall. Taking a look around to see that no one was there, you drop your invisibility and prepare for the mother of all distractions. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and focused on the molecules around you in this room. Specifically, that of the tubes that lined the walls Shooting your eyes back open you took off running down the hall of tubes, blowing each one behind you up as you passed them by. You could feel the pulsing of the explosions and the heat from the leftover flames as you continued to move forward down the hall. As you reached the end of the hall, you ran through the wall to the other side hearing the sound of the last explosion resonate behind you. You stopped for a moment to brush yourself off when you heard over the PA system,
"Security to the tube room. Security to the tube room."
"I better get out of here." You say to yourself
You look around for any sign that would point you in the direction of the east side of the building. You should've asked for more directions from Dot, but you were all too excited to start bringing this organization to its knees. Down the hall, you see a sign with an arrow on it pointing towards the period clothing department.
"Bingo," you exclaim
You start to quickly make your way towards the sign when you hear someone from behind you yell,
"Stop right there!"
Looking back you saw a significant amount of people in blue suits pointing guns at you. You were about to run away when you looked forward and saw another similar-looking group on the other side of the hall.
"Shit."
You were trapped. Granted, you weren't really trapped, you could just use your powers to sneak out of this situation but you had no clue if Dot was able to get a briefcase yet. Was this all the security they had or was there more scattered around? Dot had mentioned that Five blew up the briefcase room the last time he was here, so they had to have had more security for it. Security that you needed to draw to here.
"If you wanna stop me you're gonna have to kill me!" You announced
Guns drawn, the guards started to come towards you. You kept calm though and waited patiently for the first line of security to get close enough. If you were going to cause a distraction then hell you were going to make it unforgettable. Slowly, the 12 guards inched closer and closer until they were just where you wanted them. As this first line flanked you on all sides you gave them a wicked smile and within a second a boom rang throughout the hallway. It was all calm for a moment and then...chunks of flesh and blood rained down over the hall. There was nothing left where those 12 guards had stood, and at that moment it became clear that you were not trapped with these guards. They were trapped with you. You were Persephone, the bringer of destruction, and the chaos had only just begun.
Pulling out two of your knives you watched as more guards started showing up to try and stop you. You could feel the adrenaline you had injected coursing through your veins. This is where the fun begins. Realizing what you had just done the guards start to rush in. One by one you started to take them down. It was like you were moving in slow motion as you fought the crowd around you. Your movements becoming less so fighting maneuvers and more of a rhythmic dance. In a focused daze, you made your way around slashing throats and melting brains of all those who charged at you. With their guns drawn, they sent shots your way but it did not matter because all the bullets did was go through you and hit other guards. You watched the blood and the shit spray as swathes of agents dropped to the floor dead. The lucky ones were shot or blown to bits while the less fortunate dealt with the pain of slowly burning to death or being tossed back and forth between the walls like useless playthings. You bathed in the sounds of their agony. They all were going to suffer the way they made your darling Five do for years. And like the Roman empire, they fell to their demise.
When the combat had stopped you came out of your trance. Catching your breath you looked around at the bloodbath you created. The once white marble floors were now stained with rivers of red. You were victorious in your battle, and like the Queen of Hell, your destruction reigned over this place. You turned to walk away and head towards the storage closet when the sound of a gun rang out and pain came to your arm. You looked down and saw that a bullet had grazed your forearm leaving behind a wound. Your head shot back in anger to see where the shot hand came from. One guard was still alive, paralyzed from the waist down but still alive. You made your way towards them and they tried to shoot again but they were all out of bullets. Slowly, you crouched down to them on the floor, your eyes ignited with flames and you said in a low tone,
"You missed."
Reaching into their chest you ripped out their heart and crushed it in front of them. You watched as the light quickly slipped from your eyes. Letting out a huff you placed two fingers over your wound and used your powers to cauterize it. You were done here and made your way towards the rendezvous point. As you walked that way the adrenaline started to wear off and you started to fully realize what had gone down. Urgency set in as you saw the blood you were covered in and realized you need to get out of here. Finally seeing the clothing department you ran into it real quick and changed clothes, using some scrap cloths and a water bottle you found to wipe the blood off of you. You then raced across the hall to storage closet 2 where Dot, Diego and a group of other people were all standing around.
"Hey everyone," You say frantically "We need to get out of here fast because I'm pretty sure I just committed a war crime."
"Oh, uh okay. Well, unfortunately, we couldn't grab a fully functioning briefcase in time because people came back to protect the briefcase room," Herb explains
"But, we still got one!" Dot explains positively "It just happens to be a one-way case. They become useless after one time jump."
"We've already set it up with the correct time and location. Halfway between FBI headquarters and the pub where Five is located." Herb adds "Here are some maps to show you how to get to those places."
You and Diego both reach out and grab a map.
"Thank you." You reply quickly
Diego turns to look at you,
"Ready to go, kiddo?"
You nodded your head quickly at him. Diego took the briefcase in one hand and wrapped his other arm around you tightly. Herb stepped forward and pushed a few buttons before stepping back you could feel the energy from the case start to grow as you tried to manage your breathing. Giving the group of people before you one last look, you say,
"Vive la résistance."
Almost immediately after there was a flash and now you stood with your brother in the middle of Dallas, back in 1963. You watched as the briefcase started smoking and making unpleasant clanking sounds. Finding a nearby dumpster, Diego threw the defunct briefcase away before coming back over to you and pulling out his map trying to figure out the path to the FBI building. It wasn't far from where you stood but every second spent standing around was another second closer to Vanya ending the world...again. Looking up from his map he looked towards you. You silently looked back at him and waited for him to say something. You could tell something was on his mind. Diego was torn. He wanted to bring you with him to the FBI headquarters so he knew where you were and didn't have to worry that you had been taken by Lila again but he didn't want to put in danger of what Vanya was doing. The last time Vanya strongly used her powers you were seriously injured and putting you right in harm's way of that was something he would never choose. Diego came to a decision in his head. It was going to take a lot to say this but Diego knew it was the best option.
"Go find Five. He'll keep you safe."
You were surprised by his statement. Diego had been very back and forth on you being with Five since every before Five came back, although he would never admit it. But this plus the comment from earlier were the strongest confirmations that maybe just maybe, Diego was coming around. Although his comments gave you reason to celebrate, this was not really the time and you were also very worried about him. You didn't want to be separated from your brother especially if he was headed to stop Vanya.
"Will you be okay?" You questioned
"I'll be fine." Diego responds "Now go get to Five. He can protect you from the commission more than I can."
Instead of saying any words you just took a step forward and hugged your brother. It was brief because time was of the essence but it was enough to reassure both him and yourself that things would be alright. You pulled away from Diego and the two of you gave each other knowing nods before turning in opposite directions and running towards your respective destinations. Using your powers you made yourself lighter so that you could move faster. You had no clue if the commission was after you. You wouldn't be surprised given you had pissed off both Lila and her mom, the handler. It didn't take you long to see the pub marked on your map up ahead. You slowed your pace as you made your way to the door and calmly entered the establishment. You looked around for a second before spotting a familiar uniformed boy, sitting alone at a table. You walked over to the table he was at and called,
"Five."
His head snaps over to you. His eyes were wide and his face was covered in sweat. You were taken aback by how frantic and unwell he looked. You cupped his face in your hands and felt the warmth radiating off of his skin. As you tried to cool down the water molecules in the sweat on his face you said,
"Oh my god, are you feeling okay darling? You look awful."
Five quietly stood up as you still held his face in your hands. He appreciated you using your powers to try and cool him down but he was confused as to what you were doing here.
"How did you find me?" He asked
"I'm fine." you instinctively responded
"That's not the question I asked." Five states "Also are these new clothes?"
"Listen, the specifics of the situation don't matter too much right now but I promise I will tell you later. What's the plan?" You inquired
"I- I don't know." Five states scratching the back of his neck "I'm still working on it."
"Don't worry, it's going to be okay." you comforted as you brought him into a hug "We'll figure this out together."
Five wrapped his arms back around you and held you tightly. IF he was experiencing any paradox psychosis, at that moment it melted away for a bit. Just you being with him gave him a sense of calm even though the world around him was anything but that. He just hoped that this calm would last even after Luther had returned.
As Luther had walked into the bathroom a few moments earlier, he sees Commission Five standing in front of the sink looking at the glass eye that would belong to the future, Harold Jenkins. Walking over to the urinals he comments to Five,
"Yeah, that's a waste of time. Trust me."
A waste of time? It was one of the only clues he had. How could it be a waste of time? "Then why were you holding it when I found you dead in the apocalypse?" Five questioned
"No idea. But the guy it belonged to didn't end the world. Vanya did." Luther stated "Timid little Vanya?" Five asked confused
"Yep. Is more powerful than all of us put together. Turns out, she was pissed about the way we treated her when we were kids, so she destroyed the moon and ended the world."
"Fair enough." Five said nodding his head "This is perfect. We now know exactly what's gonna happen."
"Yeah, except it, uh, already did," Luther replies approaching Five
Five turns to him with plenty of new ideas rushing through his mind. Not only how to stop the apocalypse and get this version of Five to disappear. He was unnecessary. "Don't think, just listen. Forget about the little jerk-off's plan. It's way too complicated. A much better plan is for us to travel to 2019. All we have to do is make nice with Vanya, stop her from destroying the world. Easy-peasy." Five explains "Hmm. Well, that's actually...that's not bad." Luther responds "But what about Five? I mean, you? I mean, the, uh, young you."
"That's not me. That's a teenaged hormonal photocopy that got botched in the time jump. Besides, it's too late for him anyway." Five states
"Too late? Paradox psychosis?" Luther inquires
Five nods his head, answering, "Best thing we can do is put him out of his misery." "You're saying to kill him?"
"You're thinking about this all wrong. We're not killing anybody." Five elaborates "Look at me. I'm Five, and I will still be alive. All we are doing is getting rid of a mutant doppelganger."
"Are you sure you don't have paradox psychosis?" Luther questions concerned "I've never felt better in my life." Five states
I just don't know Five..." Luther responds warily "(Y/N) wouldn't be very happy to know her boyfriend is gone from existence."
Commission Five stopped in his place. His head slowly turned back to look at Luther who had an innocent yet conflicted look on his face.
"Boyfriend?" He questioned surprised
"Yeah. Boyfriend." Luther responds "But like I was saying, I don't know about getting rid of him, this would be like the third time she's lost him- you...y'all? And she's really powerful and she almost killed me once for insulting Diego, and you remember the bank she blew that guy's head clean off. I just don't feel like it's the best idea to rip that Five away from her..."
Commission Five hadn't listened to a word Luther had said though because once the word boyfriend had slipped from Luther's mouth his heart began to race. If that version was her boyfriend that meant she loved him too. No. That would be insane. Maybe Luther said the words too fast and so he said boyfriend when he meant boy friend. There was no way that she felt the same way he did. Could she? Did she love him this whole time? Did she die loving him the same way he loved her? No, they were just friends. Just...friends. Five wanted to believe that what Luther was saying was true and that she did love him enough to have him be her boyfriend but it just didn't add up in his mind. How could she love someone who abandoned her in a different time, who took everything she knew away from her and left her wondering till the day she died if her best friend was mad at her. It was impossible though. Five looks up towards Luther who still towered over him like he did when they were kids.
"The little prick out there won't tell me jack about her." Five complains before asking quietly "What's she like Luther?"
"Well...I haven't been around her much but uh she's very powerful, more so than when we were kids. Uh, I mean she definitely cares about the people she loves, and um apparently she was dad's favorite both in 2019 and this timeline."
"That makes sense. When I read her diary she wrote about a lot of the things he did for her. Was too much to be coincidental."
"Wait what? He did stuff for her?" Luther questions
"Doesn't matter. So she's here? In this timeline?" Five inquires
"Uh- I don't know where but yeah," Luther responds
Five nods his head.
"Alright well, let's head out then." Five comments
As the two of them open the men's bathroom door and exit both of them see a sight they didn't know would be there. Five froze in place and his jaw dropped as he looked ahead of him.
"Oh look, there she is!" Luther commented
He was right. There you stood. Alive. Five could feel his heart stop and he didn't know if he was breathing anymore as he stared off at you. The world faded away as his focus became you and only you. Five could feel his heart clench as he remembered the last time he saw you alive. It was 45 years ago, right before you died. He remembered cradling you in his arms, blood getting on his academy uniform as he cried over your dead body. Tears pricked his eyes as he took all of you in. You were smiling, moving, breathing and to him, that was a miracle. He could only see the side of your face but the little shit was right, you were ethereal. As the world came back into focus he noticed you wrapped in the arms of his teenage counterpart. He saw the gentle look in his counterpart's eyes as your hands wrapped around his neck bringing him into a hug. Five wanted a hug from you, it had been so long since he had gotten one. As Five stood there, he felt Luther nudge his arm. Turning his attention to him, Luther says,
"Alright lover boy, time to get your head out of the clouds and go interact with the love of your life for the first time in years."
"Ah well, no...we're just- I mean..." Five stutters
"Oh, we're just best friends. Don't give me that shit you openly yelled about how you loved her when we were 12." Luther ridicules "Now c'mon let's go."
Luther starts to push Commission Five forwards back towards the table and Commission Five's heart begins to race with every step closer. As Academy Five noticed Commission Five head back towards the table he held you tighter to him. His face contorted into a scowl as he looked at this version of his approach towards you. He could see the look on his face, one of nervousness and awe. Academy Five didn't like it one bit and if it wasn't for you hugging him he felt like he would've punched the old man right where he stood. You felt as Five tensed up in the hug and pulled back to look at him. looking up at his face you saw it was filled with anger but couldn't begin to decipher why. You followed his gaze to see what had angered him so and when you looked behind you, you saw Luther standing there with an older gentleman. You looked back towards your boyfriend whose face was still filled with rage and asked,
"Five, who is this?"
Five stared the man down and let out a huff before replying,
"He's me."
________________________________
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This Sarah Everard case is so terrifying for women. But not only am I terrified - I am furious.
⚠️ tw for mentions of r*pe, sexual assault, violence against women, murder etc. ⚠️
She was just walking, including walking by busy roads and not dark alleyways. She was dressed in winter clothes. Even if she HAD walked down a dark alleyway or been wearing something short or “revealing”, she still wasn’t doing anything wrong - she was just walking somewhere.
Her murderer - a police officer named Wayne Couzens - plotted to murder a woman to live out his perverse fantasy. He didn’t plot to kill a specific woman - he knew he would murder a woman, any woman he thought he could abduct, any woman who would be out at night on her own. Sarah was just there.
Not only did he drive miles and hours to kill a woman, not only was he a police officer… he used his badge, police belt, handcuffs and credentials to fake arrest her to get her into his car. If a police officer tells you to go with them, we’re told to not resist, to be obedient or we will be in even more trouble. Even if she HAD done what the MET have just said women should do - “question non uniformed officers!” - it wouldn’t have helped her because he was a police officer. He had the credentials. Why would she run away and resist a police officer? And if women do resist, the police commit violence against them (like at the Clapham Common vigil for Sarah).
He handcuffed her, drove her for hours, then raped and murdered her. This fucking monster strangled her with his fucking police belt. He burnt her body and disposed of her in a pond.
A police officer did this - a fucking police officer, a MET officer, the MET we’re supposed to trust. And you want women to trust them?!!
And I don’t want to hear that “don’t judge the whole profession based on one bad apple”, because guess what? This is not the first time a police officer has harmed a woman. There is misogyny rooted deep in the MET that needs to be addressed. Wayne Couzens was literally nicknamed “The Rapist” by other police officers and had offended in the past by flashing people, and that’s just what we know of - and yet not a single person did anything. The police joked about it. Several officers gave character references supportive of Couzens during the hearings for his sentencing, and female officers told the press that they did not feel as if they could report concerning behaviour by male colleagues.
It’s thought that at LEAST 15 serving or former police officers have killed women in UK since 2009, and HUNDREDS of UK police officers have convictions for crimes, including assault. There are many cases that do not go reported, and so it’s likely the numbers on both counts are actually higher. Why are they still allowed to serve? Why is our government giving them more power and freedom to arrest whoever they please? “It’s not that many” - IT SHOULD NOT BE ANY.
If you can’t see why there’s a huge problem with our police force and why we say “fuck the police”, you’re part of the problem.
And the fear and anger we feel isn’t new - this has been a problem for literally all of our lives.
At 11, I learnt to come home before dark, and if it was dark in the winter on my way home (meaning: every night in winter), I was taught to not go down any dark lanes, and if I was walking the dark lane I had to go down if I got the bus home, I was to walk as fast as I could and to not have earphones in because i wouldn’t hear attackers. Every day from September 2009 to July 2014, coming home from secondary school, I was told to either wait for my dad or grandad to pick me up or to walk down the busiest road that ran near my house and had constant cars on it. I couldn’t take the shortcut down the public footpath on my way home from sixth form college because it was too dark and isolated - I had to go around it and through the village instead, which took more time but was vaguely safer. Since university, I’ve made a point of waiting for the hourly bus that stops just round the corner from my home and on the busiest road, even though I have to wait up to an hour for it usually, because getting the bus that comes every 15 minutes means walking up the dark quiet lane.
At age 13, I learnt not to talk to even very friendly men, even not in broad daylight, even with a female friend, when some old man approached us and started complimenting us, telling us we had “nice smiles” and “I can hook you up with someone who can help you get into acting” and “here’s £10, you go down to the garage down the road and get whatever you girls want”.
At 14, I learnt not to sit in trees in the park by the gate, not even during the day when it’s sunny, when an old man entered the park, took one look at me, and said “you’ve got a nice arse”. I couldn’t prove he had said anything, and I would see him on my way to school sometimes and panic.
At 19, I learnt that I could not trust friendly men online. Apologies to any decent men I have spoken to online - there’s a few who are nice and not weird, I’m not talking about them. I learnt this when a guy I was speaking to on my old blog - who had for weeks just been generally nice and checking in on me - started to send intimate and sexual messages that started with “*hugs you*” and became “*spanks your ass*”, “takes your clothes off”, “f*cks you hard”, just to name a few (and these were the milder ones). When I asked his age, he merely said “older” than me - “more than twice as old as you”, actually. I learnt to not talk to men online, and if I did then I had to set very clear boundaries in a way that wasn’t too obvious - not say it outright but make it clear I am “unavailable”.
I have to carry a rape alarm on my keys, just in case. I could go out to bars if I wanted to, I could have at university when all my peers were - but doing it meant risking the chance of being harmed while intoxicated or on my way home. I have to send my location to my mother if I get any Ubers, if I go out to theatres or cinemas in the evening I have to text my mum to say I’ve arrived safe. I only feel safe out at night if I’m with a man that I trust like my dad or grandad - I got very lucky at Uni because not only did one girl make sure I got home safely at 1 in the morning by calling me a cab, but one boy even stayed with me on another night until my dad arrived to pick me up, because he knew leaving me intoxicated at 2:30 in the morning was dangerous. I have even phoned my grandmother while walking home in the dark because being on the phone to someone means you’re less of a target to an attacker.
Men do not have this experience - or, if they do, it’s nowhere near the fear and worry women feel every day. Women can’t even walk somewhere without being worried of being attacked - we cannot go anywhere without asking ourselves “am I safe?”. Are we wearing the “correct” clothing, so as to not give off the wrong idea? Are we walking down the well lit roads where it’s busy? Are we aware of our surroundings, of every single person nearby? Do I have my keys in my hand, ready to defend myself if I’m attacked? Women are blamed if we are attacked - not men, but women. “She was dressed slutty” “she was passed out drunk” “she was walking down a dark lane” “she was out late”.
When doing safe guarding training at my current TA job, I came across this phrase: “always think it can and will happen”. Just as a teacher or TA should not think “none of my students will be victims of abuse”, women should not for one second believe that they are safe and “it will never happen to me” - every day we have to think of how to prevent our own assault or murder, just in case.
Every time I’m walking home in the dark, I have the fleeting wonder of “what picture(s) of me will they use if I’m attacked or go missing?”. I was not really surprised when I saw that other women said the same thing. Women wonder it so often it’s almost a joke, an absent minded thought. But it’s not a joke - it’s real life for us, every single day.
Sarah Everard is not a one off case. Sabina Nessa, a 28 year old primary school teacher, was murdered on 18th September this year, her body discovered the next day by a dog walker. So far in 2021, 110 women have been murdered in the UK by men (or men are the prime suspects). Only a handful get national attention because at this point, violence and murder against women have become normalised in this country.
I am not only heartbroken for all of these women and their families - I am scared for my own safety; I am scared for the safety of my mother, my grandmother, my aunts. I am scared for the safety of my 20 year old sister, the safety of my 17 and 14 year old cousins, for the safety of my older male cousin’s two daughters who are only 4 and 1. I am scared for the safety of every single girl and woman I have worked with, the safety of every woman I have ever spoken to.
But I am also furious and filled with rage. Women should not be scared to go out or have fun, we should not have to take such precautions or measures that still won’t completely prevent our assaults or murders. I am sick and tired of the victim blaming when a woman is murdered, of the indifference of “oh another woman”, of this being how women are expected to live their lives.
I’m tired of this problem being ignored by our government, tired of no one giving a shit about us or our safety.
#sarah everard#wayne couzens#tw violence against women#tw rape discussion#tw crime#tw murder#tw assault#tw rape#tw police murder#tw police brutality
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Hi!! Stumbled on your blog via the buried stars tag and I'd like to say thank you so much for the kr>eng translations! There aren't many english-speaking fans so I was happy to read about the game & its characters. I was wondering, what do all the characters call each other in Korean? Or what honorifics they use? I could hear it in the audio sometimes (Gyu-hyuk: "Do-yoon-ah", or I think Seil: "Inha-ssi" ?) but I didn't catch all of them. Google tells me some of it is based off of (1/2)
(2/2) Google tells me some of it is based off of respect, friendship/closeness, or just being older/younger than one another, but I'm still new to the intricacies of what it implies about the characters' relationships and how their individual personalities are. If it isn't too much trouble, I'd love to know ^^
Hello!! You're very welcome and in fact thank you for the question, I'm always receptive to more excuses to talk about this game!
It seems like you already have some context on rules surrounding Korean honorifics. There is a lot of nuance, obviously, but to put it simply...Yes, I'd say the speech patterns the cast (particularly, the TOP5—the others are a bit more complicated) uses are what you'd see in a casual social setting between people who already know each other somewhat, but aren't necessarily friends, which is what I think I would expect from a group of twentysomethings who probably had a chance to bond socially as a cohort throughout the whole audition process (it's explained in the Q&A that they lived together in a dorm for most of the show, too). And as you've pointed out the rules there I would say are much more tied to age and closeness. I'd generally characterize their speech patterns as informal, but polite—basically, you have to use the polite form with people who are older than you, but you can use casual speech (banmal) with people who are the same age or younger. The exception is if you are close enough with someone that you mutually decide it's OK to drop honorifics despite the age difference. More on that later.
The order of the age of each of the main cast are as follows: Seungyeon (33), Juyoung (28), Gyuhyuk (27), Doyoon and Inha (25), Seil (24), and Hyesung (20). So with no other caveats we'd expect, for example, Doyoon to use polite form with Juyoung and Gyuhyuk but not with Inha and Hyesung, etc. Now, with that as the basis, here are some notes based on what I can remember, though disclaimer that my memory isn't perfect, and there are also things I might have missed because I haven't done a full playthrough yet with Korean text.
(Character spoilers for the "Other" section at the end; otherwise a few minor spoilers)
TOP5
Juyoung (28)
Juyoung is the oldest of the main cast, so she uses banmal with pretty much everyone and refers to them by name, or name + ah/ya (which is the casual vocative marker), and it's perfectly acceptable for her to do so.
The rest of the TOP5 call her 언니/누나 (unni/noona, lit. "older sister" but more generally used to refer to any slightly older female acquaintance; which one is used depends on the speaker's gender). They also sometimes call her 영이 언니/누나 (Young-i unni/noona) for short, which I thought was cute. There's actually a Q&A question that asked about this because it is a very familiar/affectionate nickname, and the director explained that Juyoung asked the others to call her that because she was afraid of seeming unapproachable due to her age and because of the fact that she was a former idol.
Gyuhyuk (27)
As the second oldest, I believe he uses banmal with everyone but Juyoung. The younger male characters all call him 형 (hyung, lit. "older brother", see above), though I can't seem to remember Inha calling him 오빠 (oppa). I might be projecting that assumption onto her based on her somewhat brash personality, since 오빠 can come off as a bit...Girlish? Cutesy? Flirtatious? in certain contexts? Idk.
Doyoon (25)
What's notable about Doyoon is that he uses the polite form with Juyoung, but not Gyuhyuk. He calls Gyuhyuk 형 (hyung), of course, but he uses the casual form, which suggests that they're close enough with each other that they've already agreed to drop formalities. Their first rapport event gives me the sense that they're especially close, too, compared to the other contestants (as does just like...waves in their general direction, but anyway,)
Inha (25)
Inha is the same age as Doyoon, so you would also expect her to use polite form with Juyoung and Gyuhyuk. However, she doesn't with either of them IIRC.
As for Juyoung, I don't remember how much of this came through in the text of the game itself, but I would guess they were probably already pretty close in a way similar to Doyoon and Gyuhyuk were. At the very least, I think I remember one of the Q&A answers indicating that they kept in touch very frequently after the events of the game.
I don't really remember too many interactions between Inha and Gyuhyuk, tbh. I do recall that she (not sure if any others do) refers to him as 규 (Gyu) at least once, which I think is adorable, LMAO. This might indicate that they may have been on close enough terms to use casual speech? But then again, she did seem to resent Gyuhyuk at least a little bit for the scholarship thing, and according to the Q&A she took much longer than Juyoung and Doyoon to see him again after the game, so??? She could just be kind of disrespectful like that, which...Kinda tracks, honestly??? 🤷♀️Like I said, I don't remember too much about these two, so don't take my word on this.
Hyesung (20)
Hyesung is the youngest, so you would expect him to use polite speech with everyone, but he, uh, does not. With anyone. LMAO. Maybe he's just super tight with everyone, but something tells me it's more because he's a rude little shit who's just Like That. (I mean, he uses banmal with Seil, who does hate his guts, so.) He does call everyone 형/누나 (hyung/noona), though, at least—though, now that I think about it, Seil might be an exception to that, LOL.
Since he's the youngest, everyone just calls him Hyesung.
Also, this is tangential, but I also just wanted to throw in that Hyesung notably has a slight "old man" dialect in that he sometimes uses expressions and slang that you would expect from the older generation, because growing up his only friends were the other vendors at his mom's fish market. This is unrelated to politeness, but it does come off as really funny considering how young he is, and definitely gives his speech a unique vibe.
Staff
Seil (24)
The speech patterns between Seil and the TOP5 are pretty similar to speech patterns within TOP5 itself, which is to say, fairly informal but still polite. He uses polite form with everyone older than him, and uses banmal with Hyseung. I actually wouldn't necessarily have expected this to be the case since he technically has more of a professional relationship to the TOP5 than they do with each other (so I wouldn't have been surprised if he actually used formal speech, rather than just polite), but it's probably because he's in that same age range and because he was the staff member who was closest to them socially.
I believe you are correct that he calls Inha, and Inha alone, -씨 (-ssi), which is actually formal, rather than simply polite. Probably just indicating his high level of admiration for her in particular.
The rest of the main cast just call him Seil. Hyesung also occasionally calls Seil 세일 FD님 (Seil FD-nim) which is technically extremely formal, but obviously said in sarcasm.
Seungyeon (33)
I believe she calls everyone by their full name, and uses casual speech with them. Makes sense. She's the boss.
Everyone else calls her PD님 (PD-nim, formal). Including, notably, Hyesung. AFAICR Seungyeon is the only character Hyesung shows even an ounce of deference toward in this game. 😛
Other
Suchang (27) & Suyeon (18)
AFAIK Suchang only really has in-game interactions with Doyoon and Suyeon, and Suyeon only has interactions with Suchang, who she of course calls 오빠 (oppa), in the familial sense. Though IIRC at the very end she does once refer to Doyoon as 그분 (geubun, lit. "that person") and 도윤님 (Doyoon-nim), both of which are extremely formal/deferential in tone but in kind of a "little girl talks about her crush as if they were Prince Charming" sort of way...Which causes Suchang to hilariously go into overprotective/jealous older brother mode.
The Ha siblings use casual speech with each other, which is standard among siblings. However, Suchang also talks down to Doyoon, which is pretty audacious of him considering they're strangers—he basically talks to Doyoon as if they're already friends. He's kind of an audacious guy in general, though, so I'd say that kind of fits his character.
Doyoon, on the other hand, being the polite young man that he is, uses polite speech with Suchang. There's a funny scene where he accidentally slips up and uses banmal, and then immediately gets called out by Suchang, who chews him out for talking down to someone older than him. (Though ofc Doyoon had no way of knowing this, and also, Suchang shouldn't be using banmal with a stranger in the first place.) At the very end of the true ending when they finally meet, Doyoon actually takes it up a level and calls Suchang 수창씨 (Suchang-ssi) but Suchang tells him to drop it and just call him 형 (hyung). It's sweet.
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A little rant
Hi! So, I have seen this post, and I told myself “This shit can’t be real!” so I decided to exit the page and enter it again and the post was still there. So I did it again and again and again and the post was still there. So this shit is real! Okay. :D
The op said that people got her hot and you know what? She got me hot too, so let’s talk about this. There were so many...things going on in that post and honestly, I am still trying to convince myself that it’s real. Fortunately, op broke it down in three sections so it will be easier for me to address that hot mess.
Warning: I have mentioned some triggering things in here like r@pe, abuse in BDSM relationships, sexualisation, spreading of personal information. Please proceed with caution.
Let’s start with section A, shall we? This whole section is about people being uncomfortable with other people writing smut. OP starts this section by saying “something people need to realize is not everyone is a soft stan or minor.” and they are right. However, there is a difference between being a hard stan and straight-up sexualising someone.
There is nothing wrong with writing smut, but how you behave outside of that smut fic is what defines you. Some of the writers they are defending just straight up sexualise the boys. There is no creativity there. Being turned on by Hyunjin talking to his dog and sexualising something that Chan said as a response to a mean comment is another level of disgusting that some people have reached. There is no hard stan behaviour in all that, there is just disgusting people behaviour. The fact that they are “adults” does not excuse it.
Another thing they said in the A section was “as writers they can do what they would like to when it comes to their content.” and they are right here too. Is not like we can stop them from continuing to post whatever the fuck they want. However, that doesn’t mean that what they post is right and people shouldn’t be upset about it. Lolita mangas is a thing people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. Writing fanfiction about real-life terrorists is a thing that people do because they want to. Does it make it right? No. So when someone comes for your favourite smut writer with other arguments besides “I don’t like it.” and points out problematic things with the fic then you have no right telling people to “just dont read their content.”. There are writers that write r@pe fanfiction, abusive BDSM dynamics, sexualising little space, romanticizing mental illness and many more and people have all the rights to be upset about this and call them out. So even if it “makes absolutely no sense” I will “take time out of my day to question a writer’s content” not because I don’t like it, but because it’s wrong. Believe it or not, some things are just wrong, whether people like them or not.
Moving on to section B and this is the one that upset me the most. This section is about how some people are uncomfortable with the age gap between idols and writers that are adults. To sum it up for you because I am not about to quote the whole shit, OP is basically telling us that as long as both the idol and the writer are adults then the age difference shouldn’t matter.
First of all, let’s not talk about how hellbent has been used totally wrong in this context and it took me a moment to realise what they meant, but yes, some people are really fixated on the age difference between idols and writers. You can’t come at me with the bullshit that “it shouldn't matter if everyone in question is an adult.” because you are saying that an almost 30 years old having sexual fantasies about a 19 years old is okay. It’s not. The 19 years old is fresh off of high school and the 30 years old has been working for 6 years. If you wouldn’t be okay with it happening in real life then you shouldn’t be okay with it happening to an idol.
Some smut writers don’t even write for Jeonging because they say that it’s uncomfortable having this big age difference between them and that they can’t see themselves having sexual fantasies about a senior in high school/freshman in college. If they feel like that and understand the concern people have regarding this matter then so can the other writers in a similar situation. There is no excuse here. If you are a 28 years old thinking sexually about an 18/19 years old(because this is what you need to do in order to be able to write smut) then that is just disgusting. Period.
Second of all, I won’t even talk about the “mathematical representation” part. That whole bit it’s just pure garbage. Just take the whole part and throw it away. This is not a situation that you should represent using math. We are talking about real-life people here, not numbers. What if you were 19 and had a 30 years old write their sexual fantasies about you? Would you feel comfortable with that? Of course, the boys know that the fans have sexual fantasies about them. They are not stupid. However, and this is just my opinion, I don’t think that the first people that come into Jeongin’s mind when he thinks about that, are people approaching or being in their 30s.
Now, part C and this one is a handful. This was supposed to be about minors being upset that adults gatekeep smut but I don’t know if it really respects the theme. It starts with the question “if youre a minor and you get upset over adults writing smut then truly what are you doing??” and this is exactly what they are doing. They are getting upset that adults write smut. It says it right there, in the question. Honestly, this has nothing to do with the “gatekeeping smut” part. If you wanted it to be about that, then it should have been structured in a whole other way.
But anyway, they continue to say how minors interacting with NSFW is wrong and they shouldn’t do it and I fully agree and I have stated this before. They should not partake in this kind of activities because it was not meant for them, but I have never seen anyone say anything about “gatekeeping” smut. Minors are upset at the hypocrisy. And believe it or not, minors writing erotica is not illegal. It’s very much legal. Is it morally correct? Absolutely not and it’s best if they don’t go down that path because it will only harm them. But can you do anything to stop them? No. The only thing you can do is ask them to stop writing it and if they refuse is best to block them. But again, I don’t support minors doing that and I hope they don’t.
Also, don’t even dare tell me about adults that have minors dni or 18+ in their bio. I know for a fact that 80% of those people go and interact with minors themselves. How come you say don’t interact and then you are the one to interact? And on your NSFW blog? At least make a SFW one. None of those people actually care about keeping minors “safe”, although it is a nice impression that you have about them. With the spreading of personal information, keeping minors that write smut secret and telling possible minors to not reveal their age so they can keep interacting with NSFW content, none of those people actually care about minors. They only care about their asses. But again, it is a nice impression you have of them.
Then they go on and say “some minors think theyre mature enough to handle that shit.... NO NO YOU ARE NOT” as if turning 18 magically makes you mature enough. It doesn’t. You still have the 17 years old mentality you had the day before your birthday. I am not saying that minors are mature enough to do that, but again, is anyone mature enough for the r@pe fics and unhealthy BDSM dynamics?
And because OP screamed in that next part, so will I. HOW ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO “GO READ SOME FLUFF OR ANGST” WHEN THE TAGS ARE FULL OF DAMN SMUT? FIRST HAVE SMUT WRITERS STOP TAGGING THEIR SMUT FICS IN THE FLUFF AND ANGST TAG AND THEN THEY WILL GO AND DO THAT TOO.
And this wasn’t planned, but we also have a bonus part. This is so exciting! They say “STOP TREATING STRAY KIDS + EVERY OTHER DAMN KPOP GROUP LIKE BABIES!” and I have been saying this for ages. And you know what I am about to say. However, doing any of the things mentioned in this post cannot be called infantilizing. Wishing that people wouldn’t sexualize or write problematic fiction about them is not babying. Getting uncomfortable when someone 10 years older than an idol has sexual fantasies about them is not babying. Stop acting as if people wishing that other people would stop pursuing disgusting behaviours is wrong.
And please “these grown men”. I almost laughed. The only man that can be called grown there is maybe Chan, but people from Hyunjin to Jeongin are definitely not grown. They are in the process of growing and becoming grown, but they aren’t grown. Of course, people are aware that they know about sex, but they shouldn’t have to deal with having r@pe fics written about them or having people much older thirst about them. And if you don’t agree with that, oh well, that’s sad.
#stray kids#stray kids smut#skz smut#jesus the anger that post caussed me#i am not even joking#and maybe it was stupid of me to get so worked up over this thing#but it was such a superficial view on the whole thing#and it made it look like some people have exaggerated emotions when they don't#not everything is black and white -____-#also if you have any opinions on this post#tell them nicely and off anon#if you send anonymous hate chances are it will be deleted#or not taken seriously when answered#pearl talks
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07-Ghost - The World (Part. 3)
Episodes 21-30 of the 07-Ghost radio show! Aww man, I’m really sad it’s over. I had a lot of fun listening the whole way through. It definitely made me a Namikawa Daisuke fan. I look forward to spotting him in another role!
Episode 21
Kuroyuri VA’s second episode. Honestly, she was kind of annoying (sorry!) She wouldn’t stop cracking up at everything and it made the whole episode very chaotic. They started out by discussing: their ideal birthdays and nicknames they’ve had in their lives. They then played a “what would you do?” game where they had to pick the most popular reaction to various scenarios. This time the punishment was to speak like a servant/butler. The loser was...Namikawa of course (lol every time!)
Namikawa failing at keigo was honestly the highlight of the episode for me because, same. Apparently this episode came out close to the end of the anime. Funny that the show would go on for so long after the show was already over. I guess because the manga was ongoing and they still had DVD sales to boost?
Episode 22
The first no-Namikawa episode in a long time (another scheduling issue). This time though we got two guests: Castor and Lab’s VAs! Saiga called it a “church special” lol. It did feel like a mini reunion. The opening discussion was “what do you do to calm down when you feel stressed.” Lab’s VA said he likes to be alone/have alone time. Castor’s VA said he likes to eat sweets lol. Maybe it’s because Namikawa wasn’t there to react, but they barely read any fan mail.
For a game, since Lab’s VA was there they played a “flower language” game where they had to guess what each flower signified. Somehow the flowers were also connected to birthdays? I tried to Google this but couldn’t find much. I want to know my birthday flower! Anyway, the final corner was a “Last Supper” where they ate something that was supposed to taste like chestnut and another thing that was supposed to taste like sweet potato. For once, both experiments were yummy.
Episode 23
In this episode Namikawa comes back and so does Lab’s VA (sorry, I should probably learn his name). I was honestly pretty relieved to hear Namikawa again because he’s really the heart of the show. They discussed their blood types and caught Namikawa up on what he missed in the last episode. I finally looked up what the heck “Namikawa ga Kamu” means (the name of one of the corners) and I think what they’re going for is that he snaps at the listeners who send him ridiculous mail lol. Kamu has a bunch of different meanings so it took me awhile to get that.
They played another flower-themed game. This time they had to guess which flowers out of a bunch listed were currently blooming. They kept saying “ah that one blooms in winter, huh?” and I was like “wtf? Nothing blooms in winter!” Damn you Japan and your higher temps! This time Saiga and Lab’s VA lost and their punishment was to speak like a maiko (I didn’t even know maiko had a unique speech style). The final segment was responding to listeners worries but I honestly struggled to understand what they were saying and spaced out a little, oops! Lab’s VA said he wants to come back, but was disappointed in the lack of food this time around lol.
Episode 24
Wow, a Bastien episode, how unexpected. I honestly forgot what Bastien sounded like because he was in so little of the anime, but he has a nice, deep voice. Probably second deepest after Ayanami. It cracked me up how he and Namikawa bonded over how they both voice dead guys. The started the episode out by discussing what kind of food they like to eat in November and then talked about how popular/unpopular they were in their younger years. One fanmail asked what they would give Teito as a birthday present and no one really knew what to say LOL (it is a hard question). Namikawa said a camera and Bastien’s VA said “Mikage” loool.
I thought the game they chose for the Bastien episode “find the impostor” was clever, but it was hard to play along. It was another game where they had to pick “which one of these doesn’t belong” out of a list of 07 Ghost things, but they didn’t clearly read out the options so it wasn’t super interesting to listen to. Bastien’s VA lost and his punishment was to talk like a country bumpkin for the next segment. They ended the episode by doing the confessional-like corner and listening to listener’s sins. Amen.
Episode 25
Another Kuroyuri episode! I guess she was really available lol. This one was recorded around Christmas time so it was slightly Christmas themed. They talked about sock fetishes (for some reason lol) & read some more chaotic fan mail. One girl that wrote in claimed to be from Namikawa’s elementary school and they freaked out.
The game they played this time around was “what do you want for Christmas” where each person listed a bunch of things they might want for Xmas and then the others had to guess what the correct answer was. Kuroyuri asked something along the lines of “what cup size boobs do most women want?” I’m used to boobs coming up a lot in stupid anime so I was kinda surprised to hear real people have that conversation lol. Namikawa was clearly uncomfortable and gave the “I think size doesn’t matter” speech haha. (By the way, the answer was C cup). Namikawa lost as usual and had to use “reindeer speech” for the following segment. His interpretation of this was to add “tona” at the end of every sentence (because tonakai = reindeer).
The final segment was Last Supper and they ate things that are supposed to taste like melon when you eat them together (white chocolate + apple juice, cucumber + honey). Apparently neither hit the mark but at least they weren’t too gross this time.
Episode 26
Jun (Hakuren’s VA) returns! They call him “Jun Jun” which is way too cute. I think he’s one of my favorite guests, just cuz he’s so iconic and has great energy for radio. In this episode they discussed what color each person would be (Namikawa = orange, Jun = black, Saiga = blue). They also discussed New Year’s resolutions because this was recorded around January. They played an 07-Ghost themed version of karuta which was fun to play along with. Guess who lost? (It was Namikawa lol). I totally didn’t get what his punishment was. He had to talk like “maro/daimaro” and I couldn’t figure out via google what the heck that is.
In the final segment they gave advice to listeners. One listener asked what they should do about a mouse problem. Namikawa at first said “move” but then changed his answer to “get a cat” lol. Very inspired. Only 4 episodes to go~!
Episode 27
A rare no-guest episode. Namikawa seemed very fed up and low energy in this one lol. This was recorded in January so they discussed new years again. It’s kinda cool hearing time pass in these. Oh how innocent times were back in 2009/2010. The only thing that really stood out in the beginning of this episode was that one listener called Namikawa “Namikawa D-Cup-san” and Saiga and Namikawa died laughing. This was in reference to a past episode where Namikawa called himself that but he acted like he never said that loool. Honestly, the best part of this show is just hearing everyone laugh at dumb jokes.
The game they played this time around was pretty creative. Basically while one person was blindfolded the other had to help them draw a picture of a 07 Ghost character with verbal instructions. As they did so, they had to stay in-character. It was really funny hearing Saiga switch from polite Japanese to Teito’s feral speech style. You don’t really realize how cartoony anime character’s are until you hear natural speech right next to it (or maybe that’s just me lol). Namikawa lost again (I felt bad for him this time cuz he sounded genuinely disappointed) and his punishment was to stay in Mikage-mode until the end of the episode. He said acting so “pure” was exhausting.
Episode 28
Another Haruse episode. He was really cute in this one, he admitted that he was nervous about doing radio and was worried his voice would shake haha. They again talked about New Years and New Year’s resolutions. They also took some kind of “psychology test” where they had to describe what color/pattern handkerchief they’d want to receive from a girl. The color handkerchief = the color of panties they like or something stupid like that lol.
For the game, they had to put 07-Ghost characters in the correct order. Saiga had to order the ghosts, Haruse’s VA had to rank the Black Hawks, and Namikawa had to organize a bunch of characters in the order they’re introduced in the manga. Pretty difficult. Everyone did about the same so they had to do rocks, paper, scissors to decide the loser. The loser was, of course, Namikawa. His punishment was to sing everything like an opera singer for the next segment.
The final segment was giving advice to listeners. One person asked for advice on dating someone older than you and another person asked about giving “the talk” to their younger brother lol. At least I think that’s what they said. These advice portions have some tricky Japanese.
Episode 29
The first Konatsu episode, it’s interesting to see them bring in new guests at the very end. Konatsu was one of my favorite characters so it’s unfortunate that I found his VA really annoying lol. His style of humor was to just repeat the same obnoxious thing over and over again and I found it really grating. This was recorded in February so they discussed how much you should spend on Valentine’s day chocolate. They also asked Konatsu’s VA what kind of character Konatsu is and he basically said “I had like no lines, so I dunno” lol. Too true. I forgot Konatsu was even in the anime.
For the game they had to pop some balloons and the more hearts they got the better their score was. (I guess they put heart on pieces of paper and stuffed them inside the balloons?) For once the loser was the guest and Konatsu’s VA had speak in a Kansai dialect for the final segment. The episode ended with “The Last Supper” and they ate avocado with vanilla ice cream, which apparently is supposed to taste like mango.
Episode 30
The grand finale! They actually called it that too. I wasn’t sure if they were going to acknowledge this as the last episode but they made it special. They did a lot of reflecting on how far they’d come and how the show seemed long and short at the same time. This was an hour long episode but they basically spent the entire time reading listener mail (which is my favorite part anyway). No games, no guests. Namikawa’s “kamu” corner got special background music for the first time. Most of the listener mail was people saying their goodbyes and being sad that the show was ending.
At the end of the episode some staff person came into the studio to thank Namikawa and Saiga for their hardwork and to give them chocolate. Very cute. The depressing part is that both the hosts and the listeners were talking about “if season 2 happens...” which obviously never did. Pooor 07-Ghost :’(
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6/28 I DID A LOT
WOOH
WOOH
I talked in chinese today! For around a half hour!! AHHHHHHHH
ANYWAY
AHHHHHHH
IM SO HAPPY I WAS UNDERSTANDABLE AHHGGHGSIUSJAJEJDJEEJIE
So first of all I practiced with Google translate today beforehand (lol yes machine translate isn’t perfect). I clicked the app, clicked transcribe, spoke in chinese then saw if the English translation it was producing was close enough to what I was trying to mean to say. (Also I learned chinese transcribe will need to process for a few moments if you play Chinese audio like from a podcast because at first it will give you a sucky transcription lol and then correct itself). Anyway so I did that and quickly learned: Google translate WILL fucking think I am speaking sentences when I’ve only said a couple words of my sentence because I pause “too long” so when I tried thinking of tones or grammar I spoke too fucking slow for the app so BAM I had to speak faster for the app just to comprehend me. So I did not practice Thinking about how the fuck to say things right much, just how to recall words on a fucking speed time limit lol. So uh that was an experience. I’ll definitely say that my 学习普通话 app is way better for me actually practicing pronunciation with any success, because Google just will NOT tolerate me speaking slowly goddamn.
Anyway so then tonight I spoke with my language partner. Well
WELL
good news: I was understood, I was told I sound pretty standard and they can tell I maybe imitate some peoples phrases and words from shows I watch (which in this case is a compliment since they said weeks ago when I asked how they improved their standard mandarin accent for a speech competition that’s what They did and the kind of shadowing they suggested I try doing more for accent work).
My grammar and word choice was understandable (I KNOW I wasn’t perfect and there were fucking mistakes Especially just notable spots where I forgot common words and tried to talk Circles around those words to describe them since I know Enough words to kind of “explain around” and come up with a more word description of a simple word I forgot sometimes but fuck is it probably awkward to listen to. Like I forgot “back then/at that time” so I said “the time when I was in high school” or “in high school I..” just because I couldn’t say “that time” on the spot, also fucking I forgot how to say “also” and “or” in certain ways and just had to figure out a different way to make my point like “this is like that” or “not the same” ToT).
Anyway regardless it’s a real big accomplishment to me. Reasons being: 1. I’ve never talked in chinese that long straight or to someone else communicating, or telling stories about my life and asking questions and actually testing my fucking communication abilities past small talk. Even talking alone to myself it’s just phrases or small situations where if I forget a word I just stop, so this was huge for me. 2. I did not have time to think about tones period while talking today with my language partner so like being comprehensible is!!!! GREAT. Considering I tried speaking to a language partner simple common word tone pair examples or very simple small talk at 5 months into learning and remember being incomprehensible like 50% of the time. Versus me now a little under 2 years in so being able to simply not be constantly thinking about tones and still know I might be understood (and in this specific case was understood) is nice to know. 3. I did better at winging vocabulary and talking my way around words I didn’t know than i thought I could. 4. REALLY simply tone and grammar being comprehensible is blowing my mind on its own - I know there were many mistakes (I personally could hear my 3rd tone not always sounding right to my own ear, and know I heard a few grammar mistakes I heard after I’d made my point lol). But just being comprehensible enough for someone understand my points even if I made those mistakes was really cool. 5. I’m hoping this means all the things I’ve been doing lately: the Listening Reading, the watching shows with English subs this month while repeating some of the Chinese lines to myself, listening to audiobooks and repeating many of the lines to myself, and the weekly language exchange I’ve been doing, have all been helping to some degree. Improving production skills is not something I’ve tried studying before and so basically all that I’m doing is flailing around trying stuff and hoping something is useful. It’s nice to see something must be if I’ve managed this.
Anyway it was just very very cool to be understandable. ;-; At this time last year I was absolutely assuming it would take years to get even a little understandable. Also for now idk this proved to me to maybe just stick to shadowing for a while and Not specifically thinking of tones While actively speaking. For a while I thought of them actively which made me clearer and I think was important and helped, at this point currently I think sometimes i overthink and trying to speak from memory/more shadowing practice might help it become a bit more automatic? And then I can go back to some corrective work where I’m messing up specifically or haven’t internalized certain words/phrases tones maybe.
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IN OTHER NEWS
today I ALSO played 4 hours of Kingdom Hearts II in Japanese WHICH WAS AN EXPERIENCE
AN EXPERIENCE IVE NEVER HAD BEFORE LIKE FUCKING THIS
So 1. EONS easier than last time I studied Japanese. For context at 2-2.5 years into studying Japanese I played the opening of KH2. I remember it was brutal, I used my phone constantly to look up words, but I got through like the opening portion to the first save point after the haunted mansion (so like is that day 2? Basically what’s usually .5-1 hour of play or less that took me a few hours back then). It was doable, kinda brutal, but also I have kh2 near to my heart so I could play it without reading when I felt drained. Now?? I had over a year break from Japanese study (maybe 2-3 years break idk). I reviewed Japanese in I think March-April 2021 this year. April/May to June (now) I’ve been studying some new material. The biggest new material being some more Nukemarine memrise decks, and Clozemaster as of this month. So like... this Eons of improvement is after a long ass gap of no study, a cram review, and some just beyond last-times-progress kind of new study. It is a HUGE difference to me in how it feels.
I did not use a dictionary at all this time. I did not play slow either, I read at a speed much more bearable, I comprehended most sentences totally (understanding words because of a mix of knowing most words, knowing the context for the words since I know KH2 WELL, knowing Hanzi from chinese, and thanks to Clozemaster of all things feeling a lot better/quicker with Japanese grammar comprehension), and a few sentences I knew the overall gist because of recognizing the Hanzi (tho they were being used in words that aren’t similar to Chinese), the grammar overall (the rough intention of the sentence), and knowing KH2 well enough to remember the main idea of th English sentence. So it was overall a much more pleasant, easygoing experience this time around playing! It was something where I COULD play 50 hours of Japanese KH2 now.
This kind of showed me some things: first that knowing a basis in chinese (for me) makes a huge difference. Kanji now make words easier for me to learn and guess. I can now recognize when some pronunciations are somewhat similar to Chinese words. I can recognize when some kanji are used to mean Different things from Chinese (since I know the English context too). I can also now actually Like and Appreciate that KH2 specifically uses kanji in some speech bubbles and scenes then hiragana for the same words at other times - it gives me a chance to use context to see both versions of the word and learn both the pronunciation and kanji a bit more. Now I have katakana English like words and kanji (in the sense of their similarities to Hanzi) and my basic grammar grasp to rely on to parse sentences which makes all of it much easier. For me chinese was just easier, and that’s now paying off also in making Japanese easier in some ways than it was before.
I also appreciate now why “prior context” and “comprehensible input” are encouraged so much. My effort level is comfortable and NOT draining, so I could’ve kept my playing for hours and I did not need a dictionary for new words because I had TONS of context. Part of this is KH2 being a game I know super well (so even back at year 2 it was doable if draining when no other video game probably would’ve been doable at all). So it makes sense now it would be the first comfortable feeling one. It is VERY comprehensible input for me, especially now with some of the Japanese improvements I’ve made.
Whereas I tried to play crisis core a month ago (doable but DRAINING in part because I knew the game so comprehensible but I didn’t HAVE the game remembered by heart like KH2 so I had to slow down to read everything slowly and figure out words much slower with no prior meaning in my head for many parts), and persona 3 (which was doable but DRAINING in part because I have little prior context compared to cc or KH2 and in part because it has so much reading). Also KH2 is easier to read than cc or persona 3 - kh2 is obviously meant for age 10+ and so the amount of text I’m required to read is shorter, a lot of conversational stuff and not layered (cc had a lot of technical paragraphs of directions for missions and persona is aimed at older teens and has much more like “think about it more long term” conversations which I struggle more to parse). Also just persona 3 has so much dialogue I started speed reading just to get to a save point which felt Draining. Whereas KH2 the reading is comfortable so I don’t read too slow, and so it doesn’t feel as draining since it’s not slow nor do I have to rush at lower comprehension to get through it - I can just read and comprehend everything as much as I can at a reasonably non draining pace.
Also I DO think Clozemaster (so kudos to u app) is actually helping noticeably. I’m doing Clozemaster Japanese by common word tracks (still in the 100 most common words sentences and almost done). I’ve been doing listening mode and then reading sentences after. I can TELL it’s helped me already with the following. I’m doing better at recognizing some grammar structure particles/words/conjugations in various forms and levels of politeness. I now have much less issue telling how to separate sentences into word/grammar functions - it makes everything just much easier to start being able to segment my sentences as I read so I can just pinpoint WHAT parts I know versus don’t know and what their rough function is (and since in KH2 I know the English lines usually it makes it way easier to guess what words mean roughly what English translation). I also read some manga during this past month that’s also helped with this skill. I noticed Clozemaster also is just helping with it a lot since in Clozemaster the politeness level varies and stuff so I’m forced to practice guessing and figuring it out more with Clozemaster sentences over and over. The listening mode has helped because I can tell that some of the most common words I can hear more instinctively now and read aloud at a more normal pace now. I still CLEARLY read over listening when the subtitles in KH2 are there if I don’t know a word, so my listening has HUNDREDS or likely thousands of hours to go (my Chinese is much much better). But I can already notice the sheer fact Clozemaster listening question mode is forcing me to 1 HEAR Japanese more (and I need like what 2000 hours listening) and 2 start recognizing more easily at least recognizing words I’ve learned when I hear them (whereas before I would struggle to hear certain words even if I’d studied just because I’d read-studied a lot but not actually heard much of those words much). Now this all isn’t a huge help with new words in KH2 since I’m learning to read them from the game but my listening isn’t picking them up or Parsing them well. But as far as IN Clozemaster: yes the constant audio word drilling is helping me recognize words by sound which is great since thanks to Chinese kanji recognition is now not intensely difficult, it’s the sound recognition and match up to spelling that’s now the major confusion for me. I mean grammar is also confusing.. and will take years... I do think Clozemaster forcing me to practice interpreting the grammar somewhat with nothing to help me is helping me at least feel less drained by the grammar. I used Clozemaster before for french and chinese at the stage between graded readers and actual native speaker material, and I think for Japanese it’s also Good for this purpose. Clozemaster is good for a lot of immersion-like sentence reading practice, with tools to make it easier like a translation and mostly words you know in each sentence. Making it a bit easier than just diving into the deep end into a random novel. I do think it helps with preparing you for less learner-tailored materials a bit while still being easier than native speaker materials so you can practice without feeling youre drowning.
anyway ahh. WOOH I PLAYED KH2 in japanese today!!! I HAD FUN
gonna do it some more.
kh2 is maybe THE original reason i started trying to learn japanese. its really fun playing it now.
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And finally, while I’m at it: I am ALMOST done with the Sundial arc in Guardian Listening Reading wise. I’m on chapter 17. I have like 2 days left so who knows maybe I can manage to finish the sundial arc we’ll see.
What I mostly did this month was Redo L-R chapter 1-12 with a second audiobook, read the novel print version up to chapter 12, read chapter 1-2 in the traditional print version, also read maybe 4 chapters of other random things, listened to audiobook files of stuff overall idk 20+ times while repeating after a lot of lines, did a small amount of Clozemaster chinese (mostly just Radio mode), did 30 min - 1 hour writing or speaking language exchange sessions once a week, and watch a bunch of Chinese shows with English subs this month while repeating after a lot of lines.
As you can tell my reading Amount lowered significantly since the past couple months. However, I think I’ve pushed up my listening amounts a little.
#rant#June#June progress#I wonder if my 2021 horoscope says things I worked for years on are paying off#also looks like if I get into linguistics there’s a decent chance I’ll need French too so. French for a career is why I started learning#that baby way back when. so it really would be a bunch of old stuff paying off and becoming useful and needed. I even have job inquiries for#character artists for game companies rn! which is. literally what my dream was at age 11.#oh man when will I have time for the French... ToT I may actually NEED need it soon fuck#u know what I love about chinese and dread about Japanese and French? the grammar#Chinese grammar I may make some mistakes but I know I’m understandable and I DO in fact have some grammar exercise books I can do if they’l#help. and Chinese grammar is quite clear and idk logical to me. Japanese has.. so much politeness levels and casualness even after the gramm#I struggle to instinctively ‘get’. and French god if a teacher isn’t making me cojuygate I only use je vais je va j’ai va ToT#my French production skills are nightmarish#hey universe babe ;-; please be nice#whatever’s coming ayyy
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hi. sorry if youve been asked this before but do you have any insights on/resources explaining why transphobic rhetoric is so rampant in the uk compared to other countries? i hear of more cases of violence against trans people in the us, obviously they have a huge problem there, but i mean this kind of... academic, "feminist" stance on it seems to be standard in the uk. i dunno if i articulated this well and im not from either of those countries so correct me if im wrong
Hello and sorry for the slow reply but it’s a big topic.
This is a good question. So, this started a few years ago - we’re talking, like, 2010 or so and it was a bunch of radical feminist academics who started opposing trans women speakers on panels of women. Honestly, obscure UK academic beef should be kept to exactly that and it should have been an HR matter but somehow this spiralled into a larger conversation when Julie Bindel got turned down as a speaker by several student unions.
If you’re not as old, if not 15 years older, than me then you might well say “who the **** is Julie Bindel” - she’s someone who wrote quite funny, feminist newspaper columns in the 90s. Incredibly, the teenagers of the 2010s didn’t, como se dice, give un fuq what she had to say to them and wanted speakers at their student unions who actually talked about things other than how feminism was harder back in their day and they had to wear in their own doc martens, without any of these modern blister plasters you know.
Bindel started squawking loudly, along with a lot of other right wingers, about how this was campus censorship. It wasn’t, it was literally just “go off you old bat, no one cares” - being ok boomered is not a free speech issue.
But because some of what was cited was trans students being understandably unhappy with Bindel’s anti-trans rhetoric, this started the fire that’s turned into a huge, funded media section who wring hands in exactly the way “the gays” were worried over in the 80s. Down to the idea that trans education should be pulled from schools, Section 28 style.
It’s grown because it’s been incredibly well funded, at least partly from the American Christian right and also UK-based conservative groups. Multiple groups have been exposed for having these connections and there are a lot of people getting very wealthy grifting columns where they abuse trans people.
It is disastrous. The media, even where they’re not transphobic, seem to be unable to comprehend just how much the general population does not want this - the UK is actually statistically quite progressive about trans people, has no mass panic about what other people in toilets have in their pants etc because frankly, that’s incredibly weird to be thinking about.
The Guardian, while asking for donations to fund the publication, were surprised at the vehemence of response when. everyone said “stop spending money on transphobia” because there seems to be an increasingly indoctrinated group of journalists even beyond the bigoted commentariat who just do not see why this is not “a debate.”
And still the bigot crews are screaming about being silenced because their latest column about how trans people made them too old to understand TikTok or whatever was commissioned at only five times more than I’ve ever been paid for a piece.
But this has created a really dangerous environment. I’m tall and have a low voice/Persian body hair so I get mistaken for trans even though I’m cis and boooooy I have been asked some uncomfortable things in ladies’ loos in the past year - obviously, I am not the person actually suffering, on any level but god it makes me fearful for my trans friends.
Anyway, it sucks. I hate it. I will continue to call it out and oppose it. Trans rights are human rights and I love y’all 💙💗♡💗💙
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WC; 1, 512
suna could only frown deeply at the seemingly bigoted old fart infront of him who continues to create one of the last thing he wanted; a ruckus, and just by the market of all places
he would have shut the man up if he didn't keep cutting off every phrase he has to say. suna is never the yell-type of person if ever in the argument, he thinks shouting at them or throwing a fit will only please them as it could be the reaction some people wanted to see and he's not surely the person to give in.
you're probably confused by this so let me give you a little flashback;
the sun had rose high enough that it wouldn't be called sunrise anymore and yet the two of them, suna and some mysterious girl around his age, proceeds to gaze deeply into each others eyes. if you didn't knew better you'd say it was love at first sight but considering the looks on their faces, i'd say they were judging each other
is the bird nest hair a thing?'
'are those scratches?'
'is she even wearing a bra underneath?'
suna deadpanned at her for a moment before turning his back to her an walked away. he got home momentarily, if you ask me he likely walked to the right directions by chance and suna himself, was also surprised by this involuntary achievement
"oh, rin! great timing, senzo was just about to go to the market just around the street, why don't you go along with him?" suna knew his mother won't give him a choice, don't you just hate it when you're being forced to get to know someone without your approval
anyhow, senzo was already waiting outside the house whereas suna hadn't had the chance to even take off his shoes. they strode on the concrete ground at the side of the street uncomfortably quiet, senzo took on a brave face and opted to have a small talk despite him not being a fan of bootless pleasantries
"so rintarou.. what-what do you like to do for fun?" he asked, stuttering within his sentence, suna stared at him for a second,
'what i like to do for fun? as in with friends or by myself?'
"i like playing volleyball" suna muttered, not that satisfied with his answer, "oh, that explains your great physique then, you like playing sports" senzo whispered feeling a bit fretful, suna examined his body figure and one thing he noticed about them when he saw him was his scrawny structure, lanky unlike him.
"how about you?"
"huh?"
"what do you like to do?"
'he seems to be the type to just play games, explore the media or probably a chess master'
"i like.. uhm.. wa.. ve.. and.. s-swing" senzo murmured as if he was only talking to himself, clearly shamefaced. suna tried to be attentive as he didn't heard him right and thought of anything that sounds like wave or swing..
'swing in the playground maybe? no, swing, swing.. sing?that could be it but what about wave? save? behave? ew, who does that for fun? shave...?'
"you like to sing?" he asked mindlessly, senzo could only stummer and said "what no.. my voice is too shaky for that, i like sewing and weaving.." suna didn't noticed it but senzo tried to sound nonchalant when he told him about his hobbies
'uhh.. is he a grandma?'
"i like all sorts of stuff actually along with photography and gardening, i guess" at that point, senzo couldn't find himself to look at him in the eye and his fathers voice lingers in his head saying;
'always look at people in the eye when talking to them!'
"we're here" senzo informed, it wasn't crowded seeing as it was early in the morning, "you go get the vegetables, we usually buy them from mr. maro it's the one beside the under construction ramen shop just go straight ahead" suna nodded taking the list of things he needs to buy along with the money to pay for it.
senzo took off the right side where the wet market lies, suna was delighted enough that senzo took that part, suna bit his lips harshly as he recollect the time he slipped infront of everyone the last time he went to one and his mother never seems to let him down for it.
later after walking away to go to this mr.maro's shop, he begun to think he had walked past it considering how long he had been walking, he thought deeply if senzo ever said anything about turning anywhere, he eventually reached the other side of the market, he groaned why did he had to find mr. maro when he could just buy from the shop he passed through earlier, that's when he saw the unfinished ramen shop beside him and right next to it was a bunch of greens laid and ready to buy.
except nobody was there he tried calling out but seems no one heard him. he leaned in a light pole just infront of it and rested for a bit,
"hey you!"
"hey!"
"don't ignore me kid!"
suna snapped out of his thoughts and found himself being yelled at from the man who walked speedily towards him, "so it's you!"
suna was beyond confused, was he talking to him? most likely
"you're the one who did this didn't you!" the man had finally reached him and pointed at the car just behind the pole he was leaning on, the car had a big scrape on it
"you're the one who keyed this didn't you! do you think this is funny!?"
'what's funny is humiliating yourself from accusing an innocent person such as me. i don't even have a key'
"i didn't—"
"you'll have to pay for the damage you have done!"
"i didn't even touch—"
"do you know how expensive this car is?"
and that's where our little trip to the past ends, on the present time suna is still in a problematic situation, most of the time he wouldn't let himself get into a tight spot and he seemed to avoid many of those from the twins back at hyogo but of course there's time where the two brothers get the best of him, usually just gets him involve into ridiculous escapades of atsumu and his spitting image or the other way around,
'who was the older miya again?'
"you teenagers are irreverent nowadays, your face says it all!"
"..."
"..."
suna deadpans at the older man infront of him, opening his mouth to finally speak only for the elderly to cover his words with his owns once more
".. you know for someone-"
"mr. hiroto!"
a voice intervened, a feminine voice to say "daisuke's not even here and what you said your annoying neighbors already moved out, so why do you still wake up at the wrong side of the bed?"
at the shop, the exact shop, the reason he's even there in the first place, there she stood. the same girl from the summit, sunas eyes fixated at her form, her hair better than ever though tired eyes stared back at him briefly, before turning her face at the man who stood discontentedly
"for the last time it's makoto!" mr. hiroto err.. makoto corrected
'he's childish than atsumu' suna mentally snorted at makoto's evident childlike temper
"this guy keyed my car, what kind of reaction were you expecting?"
"your car already had a scratch the night before when i last saw it" she noted holding a figer up whilst taking steps towards them, "this won't take long" she whispers at suna who looked rather puzzled then he already is
"but—"
"this is not up for debate sir, the peacekeeping officers are already here to pick you up" she hushed, the one-sided squabble had come to a close, much to suna's delight and old geezers dismay, she looks at him curiously, not even trying to hide the fact that she's staring at him so intently
suna couldn't figure out what to say and only thank her for the much needed help though he is upset at his ability to handle nonsensical people like the man, speaking of oldie...
"mr. makoto! you again, this is the third time this week!"
suna's head shot up to their direction whereas makoto's having a chat with the officer which apparently another time he's been reported for his disturbance
'so he's a daily reported infernal guy, huh.. '
"hey, sorry about that" the lass who's before him apologized, leading suna having a questionable look "i don't think you have to apologize" she chuckles awkwardly, rubbing her nape uneasily "right.. of course"
without noticing, she already went ahead and fixed her station, suna bought everything he needed rather noiselessly as if they have forgotten they encountered each other on the eve of the sunrise
senzo hironori
height ; 6'1"
weight ; 59 kg
birthday ; december 28, 1994
favorite food ; crepes
current concern ; many of his classmates had laughed at his 'girly' hobbies
prev | mlist | next
#suna rintarou#rintarou suna#suna rintarou x reader#rintarou suna x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#suna#rintarou
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Egotober Day 27: A Father’s Blessing
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31
Prompt: Ghost
Summary: For Dr. Iplier’s birthday. Dark and Iplier have that long overdue chat, and the Host is expectedly not very happy.
A/N: I cheated with this one, in that the Host is almost like a ghost in terms of the Author, in that he is what remains.
Warnings: none
Dr. Iplier was busy trying to patch the Jim’s up. They had been tailing a news story. It wasn’t the first time Iplier, Henrik, or some other unfortunate doctor had done their darkest to patch one of the Jims up. In typical Jim fashion they were almost impossible to keep still, you couldn’t separate a Jim pair or trio up lest things get worse if one Jim was left bored and unsupervised, and the Jim or Jims being treated always claimed this was their first visit to the hospital.
Iplier was pretty sure the latter was impossible, that he had to have treated this particular Jim before, but he’d given up trying to reason with a living force of nature.
“Alright,” Iplier stepped back from the Jim he was treating, who had broken his leg in some accident. The doctor offered up some crunches. “Now I know it’s hard for you but try not to do anything too drastic. You need six to eight weeks to heal.”
“Oh I can just get Jim to cover my shift,” R.J, one of the only Jims that Iplier seemed to be able to identify, smiled and was kicking back and forth his good leg.
C.J, a camera Jim, smiled, “Ooh, he is a good Jim for the task.”
“Just make sure you stay off the leg,” Iplier told him with a promise that he knew probably wouldn’t be honored and he’d have to fix whatever new injury had cropped up.
And after dealing with the Jim’s, Iplier noticed he was done for a day. It was an early day for him. He was excited to spend the rest of his evening with the Host and his friends.
But as he walked out to head to his car, he saw the Host sitting right outside the entrance, and when the door opened Iplier noticed that he looked a bit worried.
“You okay, did something happen?” Iplier asked, glancing around but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
“No, the Host and the others are unharmed,” the Host answered, but he stopped looking in the doctor’s direction, he seemed nervous.
“Host, whatever happened, it’s okay,” Iplier walked over to kneel next to him.
“The Entity wishes to meet with the Host’s doctor, and he has been incredibly insistent about the matter,” the Host told him. “The Host’s first instinct is to deny the Entity. The Host and Iplier’s relationship is none of the Entity’s concern.”
“So you don’t want to go?” Iplier asked in concern.
“The Host,” Host made a disgruntled, frustrated noise. “The Host does not want the Entity to . . . disapprove. The Host’s doctor is perfect but the Entity has high standards.”
“Oh,” Iplier commented, instantly regretting not saying more immediately. “Well if you don’t want to go then we don’t have it.”
“The Entity will only keep insisting, the only reason that the Entity has not approached Eric is because of Illinois luck,” the Host reported. “The Host does not have that power.”
“Can I hold your hands?” Iplier asked.
“Dr. Iplier can always hold the Host’s hands,” the Host smiled.
“I know, but I don’t want to startle you by grabbing you,” Iplier promised, gently taking his hands. “If you don’t want to go, we’ll go back to the base and stay there.”
The Host paused to think about it, clutching Iplier’s hands. “The Host wants to get this over with.”
“I love you,” Dr. Iplier told him. “And just because your old man happens to be an asshole of a mob boss, won’t make me stop loving you.”
Smiling, the Host leaned in a bit closer, “The Host loves Dr. Iplier as well. He only wishes that he could tell his doctor that directly.”
“You tell me in lots of ways,” Iplier reminded. “It’s okay, do you still want to go?”
“The outing won’t be entirely unpleasant,” the Host evaded.
“But do you want to go?” Iplier insisted.
“No, but this discussion needs to happen,” the Host decided and stood up as a tinted black car drove up. Host didn’t let go of Iplier’s hand. The driver’s side window rolled down. The man looked a bit nervous.
It was at that moment that Iplier focused his attention away from Host’s face and onto what the Host was wearing. Instead of some random shirt he had found, he was in a nicer dress shirt and a pair of dress slacks.
“Author?” The driver asked, clearly almost as uncomfortable as he was fearful.
“The Host,” the Host corrected.
“Right, right,” the driver corrected nervously. “The boss told me to pick you up.”
The Host used his voice and his sight to open the door. “Dr. Iplier should get in first.”
Iplier got in and the Host followed him in. The car drove off and the Host pulled a divider up to isolate the two of them. The drive wasn’t too long but the drive brought him to Dark’s favorite restaurant. The Host walked them in and Iplier noticed that most of the restaurant staff gave Host a wide berth. As if they were afraid of being hit or attacked by him. The Host just led Dr. Iplier past the hostess without even pausing to talk to her or letting Iplier slow down.
Upstairs there was a table that was lower to the floor and there were just cushions on the floor. Dark was sitting there, and he looked over at them. He didn’t say anything, and Iplier knew he was hard to ready but he did not look happy.
Host led Iplier over to sit down on the other side of the table, the Host sat on Iplier’s right, in-between the two men. There were already menus in front of them.
“Doctor,” Dark greeted through clenched teeth. Then he turned to the Host and in a much less confrontational tone asked, “What do you want? Going to try to order a burger here, or do you have more sense than Arthur?”
“That’s nonsense,” the Host scoffed. “This restaurant doesn’t sell burgers. The Host will have the ginseng chicken soup, and a Diet Coke.”
“Really?” Dark sounded surprised. “You really do have a different pallet. Good, Arthur always worried me about his diet.”
“I can’t read a word of this,” Iplier warned, the menu was purely in Korean.
“Dr. Iplier actually would like the bulgogi, and an iced tea,” the Host answered for Iplier.
“Ohhh, there are drink labels on here,” Iplier realized.
Dark collected their menus, and slipped a note in Korean through a small portal. Then, as if Iplier wasn’t even there, Dark asked, “Why their doctor?”
“Why is the Entity sleeping with a madman?” Host asked in return.
“He’s a bit old for you,” Dark reminded.
“Hmm,” the Host’s face bunched up a little, “and how much older is the Entity than the Madman?”
“Hhnn,” Dark hummed, leaning his chin on his palm and resting it on the table. “Touché. You have me there.”
“I’m right here,” Iplier told them, a little frustrated.
“Hush, I’ll be with you in a moment,” Dark dismissed.
“It’s not like the Host is trailing dangerous men and needs to be watched like Yan,” Host defended. “Maybe the Entity should stop his daughter before she dates someone who should actually hurt her.”
One of the waiters came in with their drinks, his eyes bouncing between the three of them and Dark silently dismissed her to the young lady’s obvious relief.
After a little bit of a standoff where Iplier and his relationship with the Host were the only topics, Dark finally turned to Iplier. His finger tracing along the rim of his tea cup.
“You realize that none of this is exceptionally personal towards you,” Dark told him. “You only keep people alive who range from a mild inconvenience to exceptionally insulting. But should you ever harm the Host I will skin you alive, inch by inch, and feed your soul to hellhounds.”
Iplier’s eyes widened, “Wasn’t planning on it.”
“Good,” Dark took a sip of his tea. “The Host has more than suffered enough, and I will not stand by and allow anyone to harm him.”
“Something we can both agree to,” Iplier promised.
“I expect Host’s medical records, immediately,” Dark told him as their food came in.
“He’s not a minor, so no,” Iplier told him, and the waiter looked terrified at the exchange.
Dark hummed, “I hate being told no, but I like you protecting Host so I’ll allow it.”
Iplier had to admit he did like the food, he wound up eating some of Host’s soup and Host snuck off some of Iplier’s beef. The rest of the evening was free of threats for the most part. Dark was less hostile than he was initially.
Host led him out, a stride or two ahead of Iplier and was talking to the driver that had initially brought them to the restaurant.
Iplier didn’t catch the conversation but when Iplier reached them the Host turned to him. “The driver will return the Host’s doctor, the Host will stay with the Entity for a while and will join the doctor in a half-hour.”
“Alright,” Iplier glanced around. “Stay safe, alright?”
“Of course the Host will,” the Host promised.
With a goodbye kiss, Iplier finally got into the car and it slowly drove off with the doctor as the only passenger.
The drive was quiet for a bit and Iplier felt so awkward that he was actually checking his phone because there was literally nothing to do. The driver kept occasionally glancing at him nervously.
“You look like you’ve swallowed a frog,” Iplier met his eyes in the rear view mirror briefly before the driver looked away.
“Can I ask a question?” the driver asked, sounded a bit uneasy.
“Sure,” Iplier allowed.
“So how did you meet him? You work with the heroes too?” The driver asked.
“Yes, I’m not at liberty to talk about my patients, but I met the Host on an operating table,” Iplier admitted. “We’ve been close ever since.”
“Huh,” the driver responded, but didn’t offer a secondary comment.
“Host told me word was getting out about our relationship,” Iplier tried to change the topic just a bit. “I wasn’t aware he could still part a crowd.”
“Well, and you don’t have to answer it, but word gets out,” the guy began, “and you’re dating the Auth— I mean the Host, and he’s terrifying. So everyone just assumes you are too.”
That gave Iplier pause. He’d never thought that the reason he hadn’t been attacked by someone from the criminal underworld was because they were scared of him.
“Oh,” Iplier commented, unsure if he should admit that he wasn’t dangerous or not. Eventually he decided to say, “Well I don’t have any reason to hurt you.”
The driver seemed to relax, “Thank you, Sir.”
The car stopped in front of the heroes’ base. “My car was still at the hospital.”
“I was instructed to take you back to the base,” the driver sounded nervous.
“Well then one of those two can portal my car back here, because I need to go to work tomorrow,” Iplier shrugged and the driver sounded like he was choking on his own tongue.
“You okay?” Dr. Iplier’s hand froze on the door handle, he turned to look at him.
“Were you referring to the Demon Dark or the Host?” The driver asked hesitantly.
“Probably Dark since he doesn’t bleed from the eyes when he uses the Void,” Iplier answered.
His driver chuckles a bit, “You’ve got balls of steel, Sir.”
Unsure how to answer that he shrugged. To be fair with everything he’d seen by this point, he either did have balls of steel, or outrageous professional apathy. So the comment was warranted. “Guess I do.”
Then he thanked the man and got out, walking into the base. His car was already there and he could enjoy the rest of the evening with the Host and his friends.
#Superhero AU#Masks and Maladies#Egotober2020#Markiplier#Dr. Iplier#the Host#Darkiplier#Dr. Iplierst
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"CURSED" Characters' Age Breakdown (per the book)
Squirrel: 10 years old
Iris: 11 years old
Pym: 16
Nimue: 16
Gawain: 23 (see discussion below)
Uther Pendragon: 26
Arthur: age unspecified, likely 25-26 (see discussion below)
Lancelot: age unspecified, presumably same age range as Gawain & Arthur & Uther (to be discussed in more detail at a later date)
Morgana: age unspecified, likely 21-24 (she's stated in the book by Arthur to be 2 years younger than him, but he's an unreliable narrator about his past so that might be unreliable as well...see discussion below)
DISCUSSION/Explanation of Questionable and/or Speculated Ages
Gawain: Okay, so, the book expressly states him to be "7 years older" than Nimue & have left Dewdenn "at age 14", specifying his departure as having been 9 years before the story itself takes place (Nimue is confirmed several times in the book to be 16 - almost 17). And despite the fact that actor Matt Stokoe (29-30 at time of filming) does not pull off passing for early-mid 20s the way his costars do (IRL he's a few years younger than Daniel Sharman who played The Weeping Monk / Lancelot & only two years older than Devon Terrell who played Arthur), that's something I'm willing to suspend my disbelief on & mentally compartmentalize as "world-weariness & war have taken a toll & 'aged' him beyond his years". In part because, looking back at some of his roles several years ago, the actor looked damn near 30 when he was 23. My own ex looked at age 24 (when I met him) older than Stokoe does now, I've got a friend who looked mid-30s at age 19, I have old photos of my mother at age 13 where she looked completely indistinguishable from her wedding pictures at 23 or her nursing school graduation pictures at 27 & I myself was consistently mistaken for my mid-20s by the time I was 14. The classic "Gawain" hairstyle also does him no favors; there's a scene very early on in his introduction, when he & Nimue are alone in one of the caverns discussing the Sword & Merlin, where he's freshly clean shaven with his hair pulled back away from his face in a ponytail & while he still doesn't look 23 he does look considerably younger than in any other scene in the series. (I genuinely think that production was just kind of oblivious - with 34 year old Daniel Sharman so easily passing for a decade younger - to the fact Matt Stokoe was not 'reading' early-mid 20s the way his costars do). But more pointedly, in the context of 'Cursed', Arthur's fear of loosing Nimue to Gawain is played out only as jealousy directed at a perceived rival for her affection. Regardless of which one's responses & behaviors to other situations present as mature vs childish, they very expressly interact with eachother behaviorally as rivals & contemporaries, NOT like a youth vs an older adult (in fact, Gawain behaves markedly immaturely around/toward Arthur - on pretty much every level - up until Moycraig). They even choreographed the majority of Gawain's/Arthur's postures & movements to mirror eachother from their 2nd scene together onward, to draw a cinematic visual parallel between them from the very beginning. I think if Gawain being considerably older had been an intentional/conscious change on the part of the show, the dynamic of their relationship wouldn't have been staged so specifically to mirror eachother to such an extent.
Arthur: Now, that being said, even though the book doesn't specify I strongly suspect book-Arthur himself to be canonically no younger than 25. Reason being, in the Arthuriana Tradition, Arthur unknowingly being a Pendragon bastard or secret offspring is one of the single most consistent themes throughout centuries of varying lore, hand in hand with the magic Sword, for his claim to the throne. And the book does have him expressly introduce Morgana as his younger half-sister, which not only suggests same mother with different father but also that despite Arthur having been raised by him they know he's not biologically Sir Tor's (although Arthur thinks of him as such). Now, 'Cursed' is obviously forgoing the traditional lore of Arthur being Uther's illegitimate son, because no matter how you slice it Uther's too young to have fathered him even if you aged show-Uther up a decade+ from the book's specified 26 years old & aged Arthur down a bit. But beyond that, they've thrown in the added touch of Uther himself - having been secretly switched at birth for Queen Lunette's still-born son - not in fact being the previous king's true-born heir. Once the Sword passes eventually to Arthur, even with legends about "he who wields the sword will be the true king", Man Blood society will require more than prophecy to recognize/legitimize a his rulership. Though strictly speculation, if I had to make a prediction about Book/Season 2, it would be on Merlin or someone else uncovering evidence that Arthur's actually the previous king's illegitimate biological son rather than his "father" Sir Tor's - conceived shortly before the old king's death sometime during Queen Lunette's pregnancy - at a guess that evidence coming from either Arthur's aunt or uncle. I figure that evidence will wind up being publicly recognized/acknowledged as part of the climax of a redemption/growth arch for Uther, naming Arthur his "brother/heir", prior to his own death - giving Arthur a legitimate claim on the Pendragon throne that supercedes Cumber's claim as a Pendragon cousin. If I'm right in that prediction, since the old King had died by the time Uther was born, Arthur can be no more than 9 months younger than 26 year old Uther, making him at least 25. (It's debated within the fandom that he doesn't look or act like the character is out of his late teens, but considering the actor himself is 28, I'm really not sure how that's defined? Appearance-wise he's got more chest hair on display with his doublet on than Lancelot does with shirt off & his immature avoidance of responsibility seems from the book to be more reflective of subconsciously modeling Tor's example than an age indicator but he's old enough he's spent several years already as a sword-for-hire mercenary. So, while I do allow my theory in his parentage & age is speculation which Book/Season 2 may prive me completely wrong able - not ratified canon - I do stand by that theory for my fic-verse; how old someone "looks" is really subjective & debatable, plus if "maturity level" was meant to be any kind of concrete age indicator in the Cursed-verse then King Uther wouldn't spend the entire series & book acting like a spoiled 6 year old.)
[The following doesn't change anything about how old I think Arthur himself is, but creates some potential flexibility regarding Morgana's age: When Arthur's reflecting on memories of childhood - even via internal monolog - he's consistently inconsistent regarding what age he claims to have been for key noted childhood events (at one point in his thoughts he recalls being 16 with his living mother away tending to a sick relative when Tor died, but later on in the book he reflects that he'd been 10 when Morgana was sent away to Yvoire Convent after he inherited all of Sir Tor's debt with presumably no living mother around to prevent it; alternatively, the show specified he was age 12 when Tor died & Morgana was sent away). At first I thought it was a total screw-up in the writing, but then I reread Morgana's repeated characterization of him as inconsistent & flighty & self-serving & utterly full of shit, paired with Arthur's own characterization of Tor (who again, I don't think was his biological father but was certainly his most formative male role-model) as quite literally talking out of his ass about his imaginary exploits pretty much 100% of the time & Arthur himself repeatedly bending the truth to get what he wants as an ingrained survival habit consistently seen via interaction with people like Bors & Druuna. Again, this is purely speculation, but I think it his written contradictory self-reflections were probably very much on purpose to intentionally establish him as a starting off a significantly "unreliable narrator" the same way he recalls Tor being, to the point of lying to himself rather than deal with painful memories or take accountability/responsibility for uncomfortable personal flaws & faults. I suspect that him overcoming that tendency that he learned from Tor's example - with actions like admitting to Nimue he was in the wrong going after the first man he ever killed (mistakenly believing him to be one of those responsible for Tor's death) shaming his father's memory & like coming back to fight with/for the Fey - are going to be a driving feature within his growth/redemption arch in Book/Season 2.]
Morgana: The book specifies Arthur telling Nimue that Morgana is 2 years his junior; however, he establishes himself as such an unreliable narrator that I feel like anything he says about him & Morgana that's not directly corroborated by Morgana herself is suspect, even their age difference, so I'll allow for the possibility of the age gap potentially being up to 4 years instead of 2. If my guess (see above) about Arthur's paternity - therefore his age - is correct, that puts Morgana herself somewhere between 21 -24. Per societal norms of the period, that actually puts her into "old maid" territory, but contextually to the historical era, she would have been able to get away with dodging societal pressure of being married off against her wishes by that age - up until leaving the abbey at least - because of having been at convent (in contrast to 16 year old Pym, who in both the book & the show says her mother's trying to force her into an unwanted marriage to "Stinky Aaron" the human fish-wife's son).
(note: I compiled this mostly as a quick reference citation I can direct myself or my fic readers back to for my 'canon' logic on the ages I've assigned characters in my stories. I went with the ages listed in the book for my fic-verse because of the express lack of clarification of most of them given in the show & am speculating on the others based on lore-related theory, so yes the potentially problematic age difference is present. I don't intend to villainize Arthur over having pursued her, partially because even though the readers know she's 16 there's nothing in the book & only one brief comment from Gawain in the show which isn't followed up on - Ector calling her a child doesn't count because he dismisses all of them as children - to indicate that Arthur knows she's that young & many contextual reasons for him to have assumed she was older. I apologize if that offends, but it's not meant as an endorsement of it; as the story outline/concept for this fic-verse stands I have no plans on romantically pairing Nimue with anyone & no plans for Pym so soon after Dof's death to be seriously looking at anyone in that capacity until much later in the story.)
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1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: Nope. I didn’t say any curse words as a kid for one, but also I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t have done that if I did. They would have just talked to me about it and tell me not to say them. I personally don’t like the soap punishment, I think it’s dumb. I’ve heard of some parents who use hot sauce instead, which is just horrible. I understand if you don’t want your kid to curse, but you don’t have to torture them. Just talk with them and explain why it’s not nice to say and that kids shouldn’t speak that way or whatever. Don’t make too big a deal about it. Try not to curse around them either, that’s where they likely hear it and you can be an example for them. If talking doesn’t work then take something away like a toy or some computer time or whatever. I think it’s also important to reward kids when they’re behaving, even just acknowledging it. That can go a long way.
2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: Well, I personally don’t think kids should watch that at all. I’d say wait until they’re in high school.
3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: Yes I know what it means, no I haven’t heard that particular song by them.
4. how many bug bites do you currently have?: Zero.
5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: Whenever a question like this comes up, “onomatopoeia” always comes to mind. That’s a word I never use except for these questions haha, but yeah I can never seem to remember the spelling, I have to Google it each time.
6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: I’ve never seen a bad live performance, but I’ve heard things about some bands that I haven’t seen, such as Maroon 5. I’ve heard they’re pretty bad. :X
7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?: I’ve never been.
8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: Yes, a couple.
9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: I’ve never heard of that lol but awww how corny and sweet.
10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Firefox out of the two, but I use Chrome.
11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: I haven’t seen all my neighbors, but I don’t find the few I have seen attractive.
12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: I have a flat stomach, but noooo you’ll never see me in a crop top. I’m waaaaay too self-conscious for that.
13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: Long, which is what I have, but it takes more energy and maintenance than I can give right now and I should just cut it short again. :/ I just can’t bring myself to do it for some reason, though.
14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?: Short.
15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?: I don’t care for eyebrow piercings, personally.
16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: Nooooo. I would never. I’m terrified of needles and don’t do well at all when getting blood work done, and that’s by professionals. I could never attempt to pierce myself with no experience at all. I’d also be scared of doing something wrong or causing an infection.
17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?: Maybe. I think that’s the oldest I would go.
18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?: Omg. I’d have left him, too, but I also would have reported him.
19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?: Just a year younger than me.
20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: Ugh, yes. If they’re clearly not into it or they’e distracted then forget it, what’s the point? I can’t keep a conversation going if the other person isn’t putting anything into it nor would I want to even try.
21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: AIM died.
22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment.
23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?: Not in particular, but I’m always down for new music.
24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?: I haven’t bought a CD since like 2011. I usually just went to like Walmart or Target. I also bought a few CDs from a place that sold old records/albums/cassettes, though. That’s also the place I sold all my CDs to.
25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: I don’t know, ask someone who watches porn. 26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: Marijuana is legal here, but that’s the only drug I would do.
27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: No. I only want one little one.
28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: I have a laptop, so it has a built-in trackpad and keyboard.
29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: Yes.
30. do you have callouses on your feet?: No.
31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: Gahhh, yes. 🤢 It was so gross.
31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: I love pastel colors together.
32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?: Yeah, back in the day. I totally forgot about that. The quality wasn’t too, too bad on the ones I saw.
33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: There’s a few movies that were supposed to come out this year that I wanted to see, but that’s obviously not going to happen. 34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: I don’t want to live alone at all, but if I had to choose I’d definitely choose the small studio apartment. I wouldn’t want to live in some huge house by myself. That would make me a lot more anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t even want a big house like that for my family and I, it’s just so unnecessary. We’d only need a house big enough for 4 adults and a doggo to live in.
35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: Omg, that would mean I was hacked somehow. I’d be disgusted and horrified and try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Are you supposed to report that kind of thing? I would think so, so that it could be taken down and hopefully catch whoever distributed it.
36. what’s the last computer game you played?: The Sims 4. It’s been a couple years, though. I get urges to play, but I’m too lazy.
37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: I’m definitely not sharing that.
38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?: No.
39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?: *shrug* I have a rock collection, so who am I to judge. lol.
40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: I don’t use :], I use :) Anyway, I don’t use emojis or smiley faces super often, but sometimes when I feel they’re fitting. I know some people who get a little carried with them.
41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”* <<< Hahaha, for real.
42. how do you feel about abortion?:
43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: She doesn’t do anything that I can’t stand. My grandmothers were/are (my maternal grandmother sadly passed away 15 years ago) sweet, loving, and adorable. haha.
44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: Loss of my grandparents was heartbreaking for me, I had a really hard time with their loss. Them being older didn’t make it any easier. I think why people find it even more devastating when a child dies is because they were so young and hadn’t even had a chance, yet, like their life had just begun. There was so much still to experience. They should have had a lot more time. Even a young adult because it’s like their life is also kind of just beginning in a way, perhaps they just started or finished college, were about to start a new job, or were about to get married and start a family. They, too, have so much still to experience and should have had more time. But still, losing someone who is older is still just as sad. I think some people just can sometimes find a little comfort in the fact that they had lived a long life and got to experience a lot.
45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: I don’t have to sneak around. Never have.
46. how often do you wash your hair?: Every couple days.
47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: Well, these days movie theaters aren’t even open. However, I don’t think it’s the movie ticket price that’s too high, it’s getting stuff at the concession stand that racks it up. The food and drinks are ridiculously overpriced. I just have to get some popcorn, though. I miss movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter. 48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: Yeah, a few times as a kid. Actually, the last time I went was to see the Willy Wonka movie with Johnny Depp when it came out. I wish they still had drive in theaters where I live. I think they should make a big comeback, I mean that’s perfect for social distancing. We can stay in our own cars, closed off from others, but still enjoy movies on the big screen.
49. what’s your favorite musical?: Sweeney Todd (the one with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter).
50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: I was a fan as a kid, I loved his books. They’re classics. I actually have a Star-belly Sneetch stuffed animal, which is a character from his book, The Sneetches.
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Ok gimme the other 47 (only if u wanna)
1: Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Nah, if I want to be someone else I just change the parts of me I no longer enjoy, it’s real simple~
2: What is your full name?
Akkurai Zandervos
3: How old are you and how old do you get mistaken for?
I am 25, but people think I’m older like 29 ish but it’s just because I act mature in person
4: Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes several times, I have done silver, blue, green, bleached, and purple
5: What’s your eye color?
Brown but in the light it’s honey brown
6: Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it
It’s alright, it does it’s job, and if necessary I can stress it without it breaking down
7: Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
I have 2 tattoos, one sleeve on my left arm and a tattoo on my left side
8: What would you say is your best quality?
Who knows? I could say a bunch of stuff or nothing and I’d be correct
10: What talent do you wish you had?
Maybe the ability to trade my happiness for another’s sadness
11: Are you nice to everyone?
I try to be, but if you’re mean to people then I will be indifferent to you
12: What do you think about the most?
Hypothetical situations that may never happen, if it exists I have thought of it, for better or worse
13: Things you like/dislike about yourself
I guess me trying to be kind, friendly and things I like, I dislike the other version of me that lays in rest
14: What is your least favorite word?
I don’t really have one?
16: Are you more like your mom or your dad?
My mom
17: Would you ever smile at a stranger?
I do it all the time, the world could use more smiles :)
18: A reason you’ve lied to someone
To protect them, or because the truth didn’t matter
19: Are you lying about anything right now?
I don’t think so
20: Have you kissed someone older than you?
Yes
21: Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, but some people do and that’s okay
22: Do you believe in soulmates?
I think it could happen, but I think soulmates can be made
23: Are looks important?
Not super important but I’m sure they play at least a small role
24: Opinion on relationship age differences
So long as they are small and appropriate, Ex: a 17 and 18 as they are close in age and it’s possible they dated in high school
Ideally the couple would be in the same stage of their life
25: Would you date someone off the Internet?
I have and they ghosted me
26: Have you ever cried over a boy/girl?
Yes
27: Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
Yes
28: Anyone you’re giving up on right now?
Nah
29: Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
Yeah I’m super chill so I don’t jump to hating someone quickly, but if I do hate you then you earned it
30: Have you ever liked your best friend?
Yeah, but I closed my heart so it didn’t effect me
31: How does someone win your heart?
Just be yourself, be kind, and don’t be afraid to have some fun
32: What turns you on?
I dunno
33: What turns you off?
I have no idea for either of those, it’s been years
34: Do you get jealous easily?
Nah, I am not a possessive type
35: What is your definition of cheating?
Not telling your partner that you’re chatting or interacting with someone else romantically/sexually
36: Do you forgive betrayal?
Depends what kind
37: Have you ever been cheated on?
No
38: Have you ever cheated on someone?
No
39: How often do you listen to music?
Almost all day
40: First concert you attended
It was a close friend of mine’s
41: Last movie you watched
No clue, I don’t watch movies often
42: Favorite type of movie
Romantic comedy or action
43: Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
Sure
44: Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Yes
45: Do you fall in love easily?
It depends on the person, do they make it easy to fall in love with them?
46: Do you think people say I love you too much?
No, I don’t think we say it enough, we should tell the important people in our lives how much they mean to us
47: What’s your favorite holiday?
Halloween
49: Where’s the most magical place on earth?
The company of people you care about
50: What’s your “type”?
I don’t know if I have one :/
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KNK As Brothers
First time doing something like this and I had a fun time writing it! My siblings are close but not by much lol
Jihun: The Best Friend
He’s your number one guy, no matter what
The type to be there, no questions asked
Always takes your side if you’re fighting with your parents
Will make sure you’re safe whenever you go out
Offering to pick you up and take you there
Waits up for your call so he can drive you to make sure you’re safe
Your very first friend
As children, you two rarely ever played with anyone else at the playground
You two rarely fight - you’re too similar
Doesn’t mind if you want to put make-up on him
Just don’t post it without his approval - needs you to have one with his good side at the least
Wants to screen everyone of your boyfriends/partners before he can approve of them
They have to meet certain criteria before they’re approved
If he sees you crying, he’ll comfort you immediately and want to know what’s wrong and how he can help
Will buy you a bunch of food to help you feel better
Cuddles like when you were children
No concept of personal space
Will barge into your room and flop on your bed when you’re laying down
Wants to have deep talks about anything
Confides in you the most
You’re first one he tells good news to
HUGS FOR EVERYTHING!!!!!!
The kind of hugs that lift you up and spin you around
Gives you his old clothes/things
Sneaks you some spending money when you need it, even if your parents tell him not to since you always use it on snacks
Joking around with you like your one of his friends
Includes you in most of his plans and includes himself in yours
Especially if you’re going to get a pedicure, he’s like “I’M DOWN!!!”
Wants to do face masks with you and watch rom-coms since his friends don’t like that
Tells every single one of his girlfriends that you come before them and they find it cute until he ditches them on a date when you call him crying about your boyfriend
When you move out, he makes sure to make him a copy of your key and interrogates the security at your apartment building about every little detail. “Are those cameras in the elevator operational? How many break-ins have you had in the last two years?”
Will drag you to the gym with him when you stay too long on the couch
Complains about your driving even though you’re a better driver than he is
Buys you random things that remind him of you - like a stuffed lizard because it’s your favorite color
Seoham: The Gentle Protector
You can do no wrong to him
You’re perfect - it’s that simple
Almost fatherly in a sense
Wants only the best for you
Encourages you to do your best in school/work and pursue your dreams
Supports you 110% all the time
Will correct you if you need guidance but he does it lovingly
Takes you out on “sibling dates” when you were younger so you have high expectations of your future s/o
Probably won’t approve of anyone you bring home because no one can be good enough for their little sib
Looks intimidating but will pout and whine if you don’t want to talk about your problems with him
Doesn’t have good advice but he’s a great listener
Tells you men are terrible and encourages you not to date forever
Tries to have the birds and bees talk with you when you’re nine
Will panic when you get your period because he has no idea how to handle this new development so your parents are like “She’s the same person...just don’t be weird about it.”
Helps you play pranks on your other family members
Eventually you two have a prank war between you two
You thought you won until he replaced the sugar with salt one day when you were planning to make a cake for your friend
You were PISSED but had to acknowledge defeat at that point
He has a paper crown that says ‘KING OF PRANKS’
Gets you the oddest Christmas presents - like tire caps that are pink and sparkly
And a cereal dispenser - which you love but why the fuck would he get you that
Takes you to award shows so you get the chance to dress up
Whines that you’re too pretty and now he’ll have to shoo away all the guys from trying to hit on you
Glares at anyone who looks at you for too long
If you don’t do good in school, he’ll be very disappointed and blame himself
Tells you stop wearing his clothes if you’re gonna get make-up on the collars
Buys matching sibling shirts for you guys
Always smiling when you call/text/face time him
Wants to do holiday cards with you in those stupid onesies, even though you’re 28 years old
“You’re never too old for family pictures!!” “You’re 30 and wearing a Snoopy onesie...”
On your birthday, he’ll send you gifts at your school/work like big balloons or a flower arrangement
Brags about you to his friends even if they’ve known you for years
VERY affectionate
Will probably cry if you deny him a hug
Crying at your graduations
Cries when you get engaged
Crying the loudest when you get married like even more so than your parents
“You’ll always be my little sister.”
Dongwon: Overprotective
As your older brother, he feels the weight of the responsibility
You guys weren’t that close growing up since you’re girl
Didn’t know how to relate to you tbh
Asks your oldest brother for advice to be closer to you
Tries to be there for you but he gets distracted by his own life
Doesn’t let anyone bad mouth you EVER
Will stand up to anyone for you, even your own family
Has gotten into fights over some guy at school making an inappropriate comment about your skirt
Is so overprotective because he doesn’t want you to end up going down the wrong path
Goes about it the wrong way, let’s be real lol
If you try to sneak out, he’s on yo ass & will drag you back home
Will embarrass you in front of your friends and “your lil boyfriend”
“Who is this guy?” “Your BOYFRIEND? Hell no. Wait for me in the car.”
Lectures you about being responsible and focusing on school in order to be successful in life
You guys argue all the time when you’re teenagers/college age honestly
He’s so hardheaded and he doesn’t understand why you don’t see he’s doing this out of love
It takes your older brother to break it up and separate you two before you hurt each other feelings
Even though you do argue, he’s the first to make up. He can’t stay upset with you and it breaks his heart to see you crying because of something he said
He’ll buy your favorite food and apologize, wrapping you in his arms and kissing your head
You two get closer as you get older and you mature under both your brothers guidance
Thinks there’s no one in this world that deserves you so he won’t approve of anyone. You could bring home the nicest, kindest, sweetest guy and Dongwon would be like “Hm...I don’t like his vibe.”
HATES when you go out with your friends and will force his friends to come with him so he can keep an eye on you
Glares at anyone who tries to make a move on you, effectively keeping all potential suitors away from you
Is satisfied with himself when he grabs the drink some guy bought for you and downs it
Yep, he’s the one that will follow you on your first date and sit in the back of the restaurant with a hoodie and sunglasses on but you immediately spot him and sigh
Why is he like this
When he gets older, he will shower you in gifts to “make up” for him being an ass when you were younger
It makes you feel a little guilty but he got you a new macbook so you keep your mouth shut for the most part
Your relationship improves as you get older because he is more mature
Inseong: The “Twin”
Since you two are the youngest in the family, you guys are dotted on
But since you’re the baby, you get everything
He’s jealous of you when you two are children
He wants all the attention on him but then you were born
Asks your mom to return you when you were 3
Your oldest sister is the mediator but she goes thru puberty and you’re kind of on your own
Since you and Inseong are so close in age, you go to school together
He doesn’t speak to you much in school, you revolve in two different circles but he keeps an eye out for you
Instead of him protecting you, you protect him and stand up for him since he’s too shy to say anything
He appreciates it a lot even if he doesn’t say much about it
One day a girl in his grade was making fun of how he laughs and she didn’t see you near by
So when you confronted her, it turned physical very fast and you were pulled off of her and sent to the principal’s office since you punched her first
Inseong heard about what happened and was worried about you but you were sent home before he could get to the office
When he gets home, he’s relieved that you’re not hurt but he’s upset that you got into a fight for him. “You shouldn’t fight for me.”
“You’re my brother. I’d fight the whole school if they said something bad about you.”
He’s so touched, he’s crying in your arms now
You’re like wtf dude get a grip but just smile and tell him to be with you when you have to tell your parents what happened
After that you guys are inseparable - like twins
ALWAYS taking pictures of you and selfies with you two
Demands you take “candid” pictures of him. “Is it really a candid if you ask for it though?” “Just take it Y/N!”
He’s very cuddly with you and loves resting on you cause you’re tiny
Will buy you just about anything if you act cute to him
Complains when you steal his clothes & hoodies but doesn’t really care
He gives in to every suggestion you have
Mostly goes along with your bad ideas
Has to have you looking good in public because “you’re a reflection of me!”
Will be nervous if he brings a girl over to meet you and your older sister because he wants you two to approve of her and he knows how blunt you two are
Doesn’t want you to have a boyfriend because he doesn’t want you to “forget” about him
Pouts when you tell him you’re dating someone
HYPE man to the max
Will be bawling at your wedding then will sing “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston but has to stop since he’s crying again
Asks to live with you after you get married because he misses you
You think he’s joking cause he laughed it off but he’s serious
He now lives 10 min walking distance from you
Heejun: The Bad Influence
Since y’all were so close in age, your parents made you do everything he did
If he played soccer, so did you
When he wanted to learn the guitar, you had to as well
You wanted to take dance classes? They signed him up too
Unfortunately for you, he was a boy wonder and excelled in literally everything, even the things you “forced” him to do
He’s always getting you in trouble though
In school or at home
Somehow manages to run and hide whenever someone is scolding you
One time, for a senior prank, he and his friends pulled the old ‘water bucket over the door’ trick on the dean and you somehow took the fall even though you were in class at the time
But it’s okay since you find him and beat him with whatever is in reach (backpack, math book, frying pan, your mother’s heels)
Always promises to make up for your suffering somehow
He’s still your favorite family member though
You two sneak out all the time
Some times to hang out with all your friends
Or he’ll drag you to a party
Heejun won’t let you drink underage though, HELL NO
Each time he sees you’ve some how managed to get another red solo cup, he’ll snatch it from you
Tries to set you up with his most responsible friend because he doesn’t trust none of the others honestly
Teasing the hell out of you for anything
“WooOOOOWW straight A’s? Your nerd is showing~”
Always screaming and making random noises that make you jump
Gets drunk one night when he’s in college and face times you at 3am to tell you that men are trash and don’t date anyone like him
Runs to you every time he has girl problems
He taught you how to hot wire a car and when you asked how he knew how to, he said “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”
Play wrestles you when you least expect it
Like you’re just walking in your house and you’re tackled from the side and put in a headlock with him screaming “TAP OUT! TAP NOW!”
When he finds out you were crying over a boy, he’ll throw on a hoodie and call his boys, “We ride at dawn, bitches. We’ve got to hurt some people.”
Literally will beat your ex’s ass for cheating on you and will play innocent when you question him, even though his knuckles are red and bruised. “Hm? Oh, this? I...fell. Yeah, that’s what happened.”
Pouts when you won’t come to his band’s performance
Literally will whine and bitch about how you don’t love him if you don’t come and watch him play for the millionth time
Is always showing you physical affection of some kind - arm over your shoulders, ruffling your hair, nudging you, kicking you softly when he wants your attention
Will toss ice on you if you don’t wake up when he wants you to
Is basically a little shit
Demands you name your first kid after him if you wanted kids
Is very offended when you have a girl and don’t name it Heejun
But he’s the best uncle honestly - so sweet and loving.
Completely different than how he treated you
Your daughter is his princess and he’ll deadass fight you if you tried to take her home after he spent the day with her.
“So you think you can just come back into our lives after all this time?”
“Give me back my kid. I was at work.”
#knk#knk as#knk kpop#knk scenario#knk reaction#kim jihun#park seoham#lee dongwon#jeong inseong#oh heejun#kpop scenario
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862.
1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: >> I did get soap in my mouth, but not for cursing; for “talking back” or being “fresh”, mostly. I was (understandably...) too afraid to do anything as brash as curse. I don’t think it’s an appropriate disciplinary measure at all, unless your mission is to confuse and frighten your child into obedience... which, apparently, is a lot of parents’ ultimate goal, it seems.
2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: >> I really don’t have a solid opinion about this. I tend to skew a little unorthodox on this front, which is probably best left unexplored (fortunately, this is all hypothetical and I’ll never have to address this situation in real life).
3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: >> I know what it means, and I do remember the Breaking Benjamin song.
4. how many bug bites do you currently have?: >> Zero.
5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: >> I don’t think there’s any word like that. Spelling and phonics is one of my few strong suits.
6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: >> I don’t know, I haven’t seen any that I thought sucked performance-wise (I have seen a few whose music I just didn’t care for, like some opening acts, but that has nothing to do with the quality of their performance).
7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?: >> I have never been to Warped Tour. I just never got an opportunity to go, or I was never interested, or whatever.
8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: >> No. Some neighbours have them, I think.
9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: >> I’ve never even heard of that.
10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: >> Firefox.
11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: >> ---
12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: >> I no longer have a flat stomach, and you wouldn’t catch me dead in a crop top.
13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: >> I like how I look with long hair, but I prefer the low maintenance of short hair. So, I buzz my head, and I wear wigs when I feel like it. Best of both worlds.
14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?: >> ---
15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?: >> I have no opinion.
16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: >> Yeah, I pierced my ears a few times. I did it because I wanted to? And also because I couldn’t afford to have them professionally done. I also did it when I was 16 because my father wouldn’t let me get a cartilage piercing, so I pierced my own ear at work one day. (My father eventually noticed because I put the most ridiculously obvious jewelry in it... hold on, I’m going to find a photo of what I’m talking about because like... what did I expect to happen)
looked something like that. I straight up deserved to get caught.
17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?: >> I don’t date, but that wouldn’t be a dealbreaker if I did.
18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?: >> I... just can’t imagine being in this situation, sorry.
19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?: >> Oh, I don’t know. Probably not much younger than myself; my tastes always skewed older (oftentimes much older).
20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: >> Not necessarily, unless they’re usually much more exuberant and participatory than that. Then I’d wonder if something was wrong (and if it was my fault).
21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: >> ---
22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: >> I’m not sure.
23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?: >> No.
24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?: >> Back in the day when that was my primary mode of listening to music, my favourite music stores were Virgin Megastore and Tower Records. Ah, nostalgia.
25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: >> Well, people generally do watch more porn online nowadays, I think. But the benefit of having a DVD is that... you never have to worry about the video being taken down, and you always have it available (so, even if you don’t have internet connection, etc). It’s the same argument for having paper books or movies/shows on DVD, really.
26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: >> Well, marijuana is technically legal here (although I think new recreational dispensary openings in this city have been kinda interrupted by the whole pandemic business, so it’s still a bit hard to access for now). The only drugs I’m even interested in anymore (besides maybe a little low-THC weed, just to see) are psychedelics, and I don’t just want to take them casually, I want a tripsitter or a therapist present. So it’s more complicated than just “getting the drug”.
27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: >> I would love that. I have had the idea to have a tree-rings tattoo down my left arm like the astronaut character in The Fountain for years.
28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: >> No, my keyboard and mouse are both wired, which is logical. Wouldn’t it suck if I was in the middle of a boss fight in FFXIV and the battery in my keyboard or mouse just fuckin died? Yikes.
29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: >> They did not love each other, from my perspective. I don’t even know if my father is capable of loving anyone, the way he fucking acts.
30. do you have callouses on your feet?: >> No.
31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: >> That is nasty to think about, and I don’t think it’s even necessary. Anything to make a buck, I guess.
31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: >> I don’t know, I like a lot of colour combinations.
32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?: >> Yeah. I don’t like sites like that because I can never get good subtitles and also they’re always buffering and shit. I can’t put up with that anymore, I paid my dues back in my literally-broke days.
33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: >> Everything on my watchlists across the four streaming services I patronise. I just don’t always have movie-watching energy (or time), so it’s slow going to get through all my watchlists.
34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: >> Alone in a small studio apartment. Unless the huge mansion had a staff, because I really can’t fucking imagine keeping a mansion clean and maintained otherwise. But... huge mansions often come with a lot of acreage... and no neighbours... that’d be nice.
35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: >> How the fuck would that even happen? Let’s not get silly here.
36. what’s the last computer game you played?: >> Final Fantasy XIV.
37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: >> Eh, let’s not.
38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?: >> No.
39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?: >> I don’t know, most things people collect seem random to me.
40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: >> Rarely.
41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”*
42. how do you feel about abortion?: >> I am pro-choice.
43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: >> ---
44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: >> It does seem that way to people, but I don’t see it that way myself. Of course I’d rather die when I’m old than, like, right now, but hey. It be like that.
45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: >> I don’t have to sneak around.
46. how often do you wash your hair?: >> Once a week, provided I remember.
47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: >> Not here, it isn’t. In NYC, it was fucking astronomical.
48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: >> No. I’d like to one day, that seems fun. But only if I have a convertible, lol.
49. what’s your favorite musical?: >> Phantom of the Opera.
50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: >> I’ve never read him (that I can remember) and I don’t care.
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That ask meme thingys
I dont’s wants to spam the main thing so we’s repostin it Here’s a link to the original https://askyancy.tumblr.com/post/188857885461/get-to-know-me-uncomfortably-well
1. What is you middle name? Daniel 2. How old are you? 30 3. When is your birthday? June 28 - 4:15pm 4. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer 5. What is your favorite color? Blood Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 4 7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I’s used to have a cat fer like 15 seconds? Her name was Flancy 8. Where are you from? Ohio! 9. How tall are you? 5′10 10. What shoe size are you? 10 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7 buts they’s keep em locked away from me 12. What was your last dream about? I hads a nightmare.. ah.. somet’in about escapin and upsettin de guards with someone handsome..or beautiful..or both I dont remembers 13. What talents do you have? I can sing I s’poses! 14. Are you psychic in any way? Psh no 15. Favorite song? I dont wanna be free Popular - Wicked 16. Favorite movie? Robin Hood Men In Tights 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh er I er- I dunno... someone... someone who gets me youse know? 18. Do you want children? I er... n-no.. I mean yeah I do’s but.. I aints a good father 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’ts think the church woulds want someone like me in der. Nah somewhere on a beach or somet’ins 20. Are you religious? Uhm.. not reallys.. God aint done a lot fer someone like me ya know? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? A few times yeah. Lot o long stories there aheh.. maybe anoder time! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah course not..... not at aaaaaallls.... not once! Totally not in prison cos I broke any o dem law things... 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I er.. not reallys? 24. Baths or showers? Shower! I could shower fer hours! aint payin no water bill so why nots! 25. What color socks are you wearing? White ones.. all we gets in here 26. Have you ever been famous? Ey er actually supposedlys I was on the tumblr fandom thingy once! That was nice! 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Me- ah ..nah.. I wouldnt wants all that. Nah.. nice quiet life in prison is fer me! 28. What type of music do you like? Musicals mostly! I er posted lil mini playlist recently youse might be able to find it! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Eh.. aheh... I er... yeah... ahaheh... I’ll leave that up to youses for youses imaginations~ 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 16 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lil spoons! 32. How big is your house? I means it’s pretty big! Prison gotta house a lotta roomies youse know? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Dey serves us dry cereals or oatmeal 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Shotgun, Franchi SPAS-12 12 gauge. 6 shots in total. 3 fatal shots. 1 miss 35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah I aint goods at no stringy thingys theys get all tangled 36. Favorite clean word? Bourgeoisie 37. Favorite swear word? The U bomb 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 6 days 39. Do you have any scars? Ah, couple on my left hand from a knife, one on my right leg from a bullet and I gots a …few more on my back but ah.. I donts like to talks about those ones. Youse understand. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I knews if I had a secret Admoirer it wouldnts be a secret no mores! 41. Are you a good liar? ah no.. I got a lotta tells 42. Are you a good judge of character? terrible! But ah! I always trys to make amends youse know? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Ah a few, can do my dayds, New Joysey, Bahstan and New Yoyrk 44. Do you have a strong accent? Peoples always be tellin me I do 45. What is your favorite accent? I likes dem scottish types... ah and dat ole southern drawls good a good tingle to its! 46. What is your personality type? .... I er... I dunnos... Nice??? but like... tough guys too? Youse make that call 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My shoeses! Dese is Itallian! 48. Can you curl your tongue? yeth 49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie! Prison life is where I lives int no outtie life fer me! 50. Left or right handed? I’s actually ambidestrous! 51. Are you scared of spiders? n...no...... why is der one near by? Youse gotta get it! 52. Favorite food? Gumbo. period. 53. Favorite foreign food? Probably one o dose indian curries! 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I likes to keep a clean cell 55. Most used phrased? Youses know? 56. Most used word? Youses 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 5-10 minutes... unless its a show day then I takes like 3 hours. Gotta look poifect 58. Do you have much of an ego? Peoples be tellin’ me lately that I’m an ego nows but I dont gets it. I aint tryna be above anyones else ya know? I’s just out here tryna be me 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I licks them ;P 60. Do you talk to yourself? Me nah... Why’s would I talk to myselfs? Not like I dont gots a whole gang to talks to. Not like I’m locked aways from them right now whiles in Solitary... Not likes I fill the silence in ‘ere with false conversations .... 61. Do you sing to yourself? Always! thoughs there aint much privacy in ‘ere so’s a lot o people get to hear it too 62. Are you a good singer? Peoples tells me so! But I’s still got a lot to works on 63. Biggest Fear? .......... Abandonment 64. Are you a gossip? What? Nah... I woulds never betray someone like that. Only cruel cold hearts sons o bitches do’s that. Oh! Dat reminds me youse should hear what I heard about Shithole Hank the other day. So gets this --- 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Chicago! Best thing! 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair! Slides better through the fingers! 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Wells I coulds but youse might call it cheatin but here goes https://youtu.be/MSvJ9SN8THE?t=34s 68. Favorite school subject? Theatre o course! 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I er I’m an introvert actually 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Sadlys no... Always wanted to go see one o dem coral reefs wid de fishes! 71. What makes you nervous? ....the...the Ward’n 72. Are you scared of the dark? All dese nooks n crannies deys dayrk down there I gets used to it But afraid o de Dayrk..... de Dayrk scares me... 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if its a common t’ing and theys not notice it on there own! 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but dont go tellin nobodys! 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Me! No! Course not! Startin’ rumors is the lowest o de low... spreadin em dough? I heards this one that Tiny once ate a guards arm.. like..de whole t’ing. I’d honestly say dat wasn’t true but... I mean.. it’s Tiny... Dey’s strong and terrifyin if youse get on their bad side! 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Me nah... I ain’ts authoritive like 77. Have you ever drank underage? No. and I don’ts endorse it eithers 78. Have you ever done drugs? No. We’s very against that at Happy Trails. We’s is about rehabilitation. 79. Who was your first real crush? Ah nice guy in my high school called Illinois buts then..everyone had a crush on him. I wonder how his adventurin craze is doin him 80. How many piercings do you have? Ah just my ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ rr....rrrrrlbllr... RRBLRLBLRRGRLR...... RRRRRRRRRRR there we gos 82. How fast can you type? I dunno’s how fast do I’s respond to youses akses 83. How fast can you run? Only ever got caught once! and dey cheated with bullets 84. What color is your hair? Black and dark as night babye~ 85. What color is your eyes? Brown like the muddy pools of-.... er.... chocolate? 86. What are you allergic to? Rabbits and kidney beans...and hard labor 87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but dats fer my eyes only capiche!? 88. What do your parents do? Nothin anymore..... Me Dayd always thoughts he was so good. always mocking me n stuff.. Thought he was all big bein a dental surgeon! And mom! Oh mom was just as bayd. Thinkin she was all better than me! Providin me with cuddles n loves and hugs n stuff tellin me to chase my dreams WELL WHOS DREAMIN NOW MA! Youse aint nursin nobody no mores! 89. Do you like your age? I dont like dat its gettin older 90. What makes you angry? Not a lotta t’ings but if youse be disrespectin mah fam’ly youse is gonna get it! 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I likes it. had it a while now and it suits me youse know? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? ah... Not reallys I means.. thats a joint decision youse know? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? ah... thats up to the kid to decide when they’s ready 94. What are you strengths? I’s a good team member me thinks? 95. What are your weaknesses? I er... I gots a lot o’ flaws... 96. How did you get your name? ah wells it started with the nickname fancy pants and den dey took the first letter of my old name, a dead name i donts use it no mores, and it became Yancy Pants and den got shortened ta just Yancy 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Mine? psh.. nah! youse kiddin? For all I knows my ancestor was a pirate or somet’in 98. Do you have any scars? I gots -wait... I answered dis one already! 99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue with some nice white sheets! 100. Color of your room? Grey... like every other wall in dis place
#yancy posts#ask meme#i wanted to give you all the full thing#enjoy some canon and head canon info!#thank you everyone who sent in asks!
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