#this person is vile and should not have internet access

[certified-monster-lover]

BE AWARE

Fellow members of the LMK Community/Tumblr users, I’d like you to be aware of an individual.

They seem to consistently use the name Mariin, and have, not once, but twice now attempted to find a friend of mine and attack them.

They have sent death threats into my friend’s inbox via anon, and have admitted to it. If you know this person or have seen them before, please be cautious.

Also, I’d like to note that this person did all of this because my friend refused to answer a request on his writing blog, and because of the bullshit “Nezha is 12 rumors”. They came after my friend like this for petty bullshit in a truly vile and cowardly way.

Below the cut I’ve attached screenshots of both them admitting to sending the messages and the messages themselves.

TW for under the cut: Death Threats and mentions of SA/R@pe.

[meanbossart]

Misc. Ask compilation

These aren't all of the asks I want to reply to, just some that I can answer relatively quickly to clean the ol' inbox out before things get out of hand. Thanks for your patience!

HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERUSING AROUND and for enjoying my work! I had a... Weird Gale experience my first playthrough which led to his characterization being what it is in my comics. Here's the beat-by-beat of all the shenanigans: https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740827466716807168/alright-i-am-like-90-sure-there-is-one-line-in-a

And here's just some of my personal thoughts on him! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/736193145686114305/can-you-tell-me-more-about-how-you-would-make-gale

I would be lying if I said I'm not conflicted to know my style still bears some remnants of my edgy teen roots (not your fault not noticing it though, you aren't the first and won't be the last) BUT... That comic did mean a lot to me as a youth, so I guess I should be proud 🤷 and honestly it is a little cool that such a thing would survive for so long in what I do, crazy how that works.

LMAO, re: the bottom/top debacle, I was honestly so surprised to see people react to it like it's something novel. If I ever expected to get any push back on the matter, I thought it would be from people assuming DU drow was the top and taking issue with how violent and big he is (and yknow, some people are weirdly protective of Astarion as if he isn't a sneaky murder machine rippling with lean muscle)

Very disheartening to see that mindset still so alive and well among young people, but I guess it just means I gotta draw DU drow throwing more back and Astarion drooling over more ass until the stereotype is forcefully banished out of people's minds!

(more asks below the cut)

"Sleeper agent activation phrase" absolutely took me out, Thank you so much LOL

YEAH I got it pretty late though, Astarion had already told my durge that he was a vampire of his own accord (and the response was, of course, "no duh") I forgot wheter this happened before or after the first romance scene triggered, but I think after.

Since this was after DU drow decided he was gonna fuck him out of pure contrarian spite and was shamelessly laying it extremely thick, He happilly let Astarion drink his blood. Hell, he was probably a little Too Eager - the guy likes pain and he likes letting people he trusts do with his body whatever they will, and while he didn't yet trust Astarion at that point, that event might've very well reminded him of something from his past that planted a seed which would eventually grow into his genuine affection for the guy.

Ah, he definitely got a half-chub as it happened too. I'm sure Astarion noticed it and just walked off rolling his eyes and thinking "eugh of course" lmao.

Hello!!!

Oh man, I grew up fascinated with horror things. I remember from a very young age just looking at the covers and backs of horror movies at the film-rental even though I wasn't allowed to watch them. I was also easily scared but I sought those things out anyway - I think i just enjoyed the visceral reactions it drew out of me and was always curious about most things taboo.

When I got access to the internet that just opened a (very unfortunate) door to all things vile and awful like it did for so many people at that age in time. Though my tastes have changed a lot since then (Less August Underground, more The Devils kind of guy nowadays) my stories and art are just always going to fall into a horror-y category because I just... Don't think there's many better ways to showcase the human experience and emotional range without many of the elements native to the genre, and I'm all about that.

Thank you for your question and your sweet words, have a good week yourself!

I did a little write-up about that over here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/742508493562593280/i-dont-have-a-particular-question-in-mind-sorry

That's the result of a scene that happens relatively early in the story I'm writing ("A Novel Experience" on Ao3).

{SPOILERS} DU drow accidentally passes out on a blade which puts a relatively deep gash on his hip. Meanwhile, Astarion is weakened and starved after certain events that transpired the prior night. They have a private exchange both in a somewhat hazy-state of mind and Astarion ends up prodding and prying at his wound while feeding, so it's a laceration and bite mark that just scarred over badly.

Elves apparently don't grow body hair so never LOL guess they'll just have to slip&slide up on each other for heat

[lemonhemlock]

It’s so frustrating how team Black always accuses Alicent id being a bad mother without examining why exactly(if we agree with that statement that is 🙄). Like first of all Alicent is a very good example of how a woman in Westerosi patriarchy would behave(which they hate ofc)we see from a very early age the pressure she’s put under and how she’s much more aware of women’s limitations and the role they have to play in society than R is. We also see his despite the way Otto grooms her A tries again and again to play the role of the conciliator in the family from trying to advice V and R to talk to each other to her trying mend things with R after she marries V as well as showing interest in Westerosi affairs of the kingdom(something R doesn’t do)But the more she spends time with the Targs the more dysfunctional she becomes herself both due ti her relationship with O and due to V and R’s entitled arrogant behaviour. She tries her best with her kids but not only does she have ti struggle with the fact that they were result of her rape but she also fears for their lives.And frankly A comes off way more women friendly than R does. I mean someone should make a gif of A giving Criston reproachful look after he calls R c**t in contrast to R laughing at D calling his wife a b***h. Or her accusing A of being self righteous when she hooked up with her uncle at his wife’s funeral and then was complicit in the murder of an innocent men in order to fake Laenor’s death. At least with A you can see she struggles and hates what society tells her she has to do for the family,etc but R shows no regret at all for all the lies and gaslighting.

Thank you for the message, friend! I'm sure the anons hanging around will appreciate hearing there are others with sane takes around here. :)

It’s so frustrating how team Black always accuses Alicent id being a bad mother without examining why exactly(if we agree with that statement that is 🙄).

Agree. This is such a dumbass takeaway that veers into the positively vile. Alicent is not beyond reproach (no mother is, no person is!), but she doesn't have the psychological education and therapeutic tools at her disposal to help herself and her children. She cannot remove herself from her constant triggers, because there is no divorce in Westeros, no packing up your bags and leaving, no social services. She is a child bride, maritally raped and forced to bear children.

Not to mention how she is forced into this very traditional female role, when she displays a romantic attachment to Rhaenyra in the first episodes. Laenor is hailed as this tragic gay victim of heteronormative patriarchy, but Alicent is never awarded that kind of grace. Laenor is well within his rights not to have sex with his wife in order to reproduce, but Alicent should magically be okay with her body being at Viserys' beck and call. Of course motherhood is going to be a very difficult labyrinth for her to navigate in these conditions.

People see a distraught child-mother desperately trying to calm her crying baby and think "see? the baby hates her. she is crying because Alicent is a bad mother and abusing her!" Alicent is seen passing her baby to her handmaidens when she has a guest over, so that they could discuss a delicate matter in peace: she must hate her children because she disposes of them to her servants. Even though every high born lady has access to childcare. Rhaenyra has a literal army of child minders following her around, but she never receives the same kind of comments. Alicent asks Helaena questions about creepy-crawlies to engage her daughter in conversation and the internet interprets it as her being dismissive of her daughter's hobbies, when she has just proved anything but. "She looks so bored" - you bet your bottom dollar she is bored. Who the hell is interested in bugs and worms? Most people are disgusted by them and run away screaming. Yet Alicent becomes a terrible mother for not stanning insects - I can't with these people.

Like first of all Alicent is a very good example of how a woman in Westerosi patriarchy would behave(which they hate ofc)we see from a very early age the pressure she’s put under and how she’s much more aware of women’s limitations and the role they have to play in society than R is. We also see his despite the way Otto grooms her

Agreed. Alicent displays high levels of emotional and political intelligence from the beginning. She knows what Otto is asking her to do, but she can't verbalize it because it's so awful, she doesn't know or want to put it into words. She very clearly suffers from anxiety as a result of this.

A tries again and again to play the role of the conciliator in the family from trying to advice V and R to talk to each other to her trying mend things with R after she marries V as well as showing interest in Westerosi affairs of the kingdom(something R doesn’t do)

Alicent defends Rhaenyra to Viserys with every opportunity she gets, even though Rhaenyra has frozen her out as a result of her marriage. I'm not going to put too much blame on Rhaenyra here, because her feelings are completely normal: she thinks that her father is replacing the family unit that they formed with a brand new shiny one that Alicent can provide. She is a hurt teenage girl who just lost her mother in a brutal way. She's not going to be the most empathetic person. But that doesn't stop Alicent from reaching out to her.

But the more she spends time with the Targs the more dysfunctional she becomes herself both due ti her relationship with O and due to V and R’s entitled arrogant behaviour. She tries her best with her kids but not only does she have ti struggle with the fact that they were result of her rape but she also fears for their lives.

It's a combination of neurosis, anxiety, repression, paranoia and isolation that escalates with Rhaenyra's obliviousness at how her own behaviour is socially perceived. Rhaenyra doesn't understand that her actions appear hostile to Alicent:

lying on her mother's grave (if she lied about that, she could lie about anything; why would Alicent believe her anymore?)

getting Otto fired for telling the truth and leaving Alicent without her only source of support, as flawed a father as Otto was

not having any kind of relationship or affection towards her half-siblings (what's to stop her from killing them when the time comes, if she cares so little about them?)

intentionally having bastards and causing a future succession crisis

not taking any responsibility for what Luke did to Aemond, suggesting that a freshly-mutilated Aemond be tortured, impressing upon her father that her bastard children's reputation must be upheld at any cost, even cost of life or body parts

having her husband "murdered" (aka encouraging rumours that she hand a hand in his death)

marrying Daemon, a known maniac, whom no one wants on the throne and the sole reason Rhaenyra was named heir in the first place

stealing Driftmark away from the Velaryons and being complicit in the murder of a man for telling the truth

How in the world are these acts meant to endear Rhaenyra to Alicent? How is Alicent supposed to blindly believe in Rhaenyra's good intentions after all this?

And frankly A comes off way more women friendly than R does. I mean someone should make a gif of A giving Criston reproachful look after he calls R c**t in contrast to R laughing at D calling his wife a b***h.

Black stans usually counteract this argument by claiming that they don't support Daemon, but Rhaenyra. Daemon is there for them as a convenient shield to deflect any criticism of Rhaenyra.

Or her accusing A of being self righteous when she hooked up with her uncle at his wife’s funeral and then was complicit in the murder of an innocent men in order to fake Laenor’s death. At least with A you can see she struggles and hates what society tells her she has to do for the family,etc but R shows no regret at all for all the lies and gaslighting.

The self-righteous accusation was the cherry-on-top of Rhaenyra's gaslighting. She had just come back from fucking Daemon on the beach the night of his wife's funeral. She had just finished manipulating her father into threatening violence to cover up her own legal infractions. She was in no way entitled to make any kind of character judgments.

[kitom-kortil]

personally of the mind that big platforms like tiktok and meta's stuff should be age restricted up 18+. Having to hear about all these children that are fucking killing themselves rn all the goddamn time because of their parents not being fucking responsible for em and paying attention is fucking ridiculous. kids shouldnt be on social fucking media. get them off tiktok and instagram. this is vile. I was given access to the internet too goddamn early, we need to quit fucking letting this happen. Like, how many kids have to die or be abused and violated for ppl to realize its not the goddamn creators of these apps' faults, its the shitty fucking parents who use a tablet or electronic to take care of their kids instead of oh i dont know

TAKING CARE OF THEIR FUCKING KIDS THEIRSELF???

[christmascookiediary]

Just found the most disgusting thing ive ever seen on the internet

Just so you know, i have seen and especially read some very disturbing things before but i have never NEVER seen anything so vile, disgusting all the words

This thing im talking about is called the fluffy pony community - its just full of people who like to see fluffy ponies (not real ponies mlp fluffy ponies) get tortured and abused and its honestly the most vile thing i have seen

I have NEVER gotten this sick when i read/saw stuff that was supposed to make you feel uneasy like splatterpunk or movies like salo for example

When i tell you this stuff is genuinely vile i mean it

A video called “fluffy pony abuse - no miwkies” pooped up on my recommendation and it is it it is it makes me so shake my head

The contents of the video are disgusting enough but the general story is that there is a mother fluffy pony with 4 foals, one of them is very fat because the mother overfeeds it because its a sensitive crybaby. And this absolutely evil vile man takes these ponies in because theyre homeless and he tortures them.

I will not continue the synopsis

Not only is the story terrorizing on its own the artwork amplifies it because it shows the mother pony’s swelled up breasts and why does she only have 2

This is some kind of sick perverted interests and fantasies of the people in the comments

I would have been like yeah okay fine this is just someone’s thoughts and story whatever fine do that but the community is SO TWISTED SO TWISTED SOOO SO SO TWISTED

Because WHY are these idiots skewing the story

Its one thing to enjoy the story on its own right but these comments, these idiot fuckwads are so twisted and stupid that they believe that the little innocent ponies deserve the torture they got

Its so sick that these fluffy pony stories have been targeted at children because the art and the fluffy ponies themselves bypass whats allowed for children to look at and as a result of this these children have become desensitized to this horrible torture gore and even like it

In their damaged perverted minds this is acceptable is this justice for the actions of the fluffy ponies

Whoever enjoys this in a way that encourages the story rather than just accepting or even appreciating the story is a sick pervert

I cant blame anyone for enjoying what they enjoy i like this gross stuff too much I DONT TWIST THE NARRATIVE IN MY MIND AND ENCOURAGE WHAT IS CLEARLY WRONG

THESE CHILDREN HAVE BEEN ROBBED OF THEIR MORALITY

THESE HORRIBLE ARTISTS TARGETING CHILDREN ARE THIEVES

But at the end of the day, me being too much of an accepting person, i guess people are allowed to enjoy what they enjoy and its their right to share it aswell

But its such a bad horrible thing to share especially to little children, you are RUINING them and YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

THESE EVIL EVIL PEOPLE NEED TO BE PUNISHED AND HAVE THEIR RIGHT TO SHARE TAKEN AWAY

Stuff like this shouldnt be readily available for children to access, LET ALONE FREAKING RECOMMENDED ON YOUTUBE. Content like this should only be available to people who seek it, not to children who just want to see videos of their favorite show on youtube. I searched “fluffy ponies” on my search bar and the first videos that popped up were tortureporn like the video i saw. This stuff shouldnt be on youtube, rather in a designated website that is not easily found and accessible to children

The people who make and consume this content get enjoyment from seeing something innocent (like fluffy ponies) be tortured and ruined and destroyed, the same thing is happening to the young children who watch this stuff, at best they are scarred by what they just saw and at worst they join this sick and twisted community (i especially know this because the profiles of the people commenting under the gore video had pfps that children usually have like gacha life and neon edm fursonas and roblox avatars). These children dont know how disgusting this stuff is because i can tell you as a child that had unlimited internet access that you quickly get desensitized to this stuff and even end up seeking it, enjoying it. The people who make these mlp torture stuff are truly despicable because they know it will reach children under the umbrella of it being my little pony, this is their sick pleasure knowing that it will taint innocent children.

[studenthousing11]

Selecting a Good Boys Hostel in Vile Parle West Mumbai

Moving to a new city for education or work can be both exciting and daunting, especially when it comes to finding the right accommodation. Vile Parle West, located in the bustling city of Mumbai, is a popular destination for students and young professionals due to its proximity to educational institutions and commercial hubs. If you're a young man looking for a safe and comfortable place to stay in Vile Parle West, navigating the myriad of options can seem overwhelming. However, with some research and a clear understanding of your needs, finding a good Boys Hostel in Vile Parle can be a manageable task. In this article, we'll explore some tips to help you find the perfect hostel that meets your requirements and ensures a smooth transition to life in Mumbai.

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Research Online:

The internet is a valuable resource when it comes to finding accommodation in a new city. Start by researching online platforms that list hostels and PG accommodations in Vile Parle West. Websites like Hostelworld, Booking.com, and OYO Life offer comprehensive listings of hostels with detailed information about facilities, pricing, and reviews from past residents. Take the time to read reviews and ratings to gauge the quality of each hostel and ensure it meets your expectations.

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Consider Safety and Security:

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Evaluate the Cost:

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Conclusion:

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[transmalewife]

i think ao3 is a really interesting case study for internet discourse in general bc the accusations are severe, and (unlike in many other cases) true, but the backlash is exagerated, hypocritical and borderline canibalistic.

because you know how everyone complains about ads, about corporations taking over the internet, about useless tagging systems on social media, about websites banning adult content which in reality means banning tagged and easily avoidable banned content?

Well, here you have a community run, non-profit website without a single ad on it, specifically created to fight back against corporations, with what is possibly the best tagging system in existence and comprehensive, layered warnings for adult content. And yet there are people who's greatest wish is to see it killed.

Yeah, theres some really vile shit on ao3. you know where there's also vile shit? literally everywhere else online. There's n*zis actively recruiting on pretty much every social media platform. I guess it just feels more personal when a website is actively asking for donations instead of just quietly stealing your taxes like facebook.

I see fanartists raising money for new laptops/tablets all the time, and people donate because this is not really charity, it's a roundabout way of paying for free entertainment. and what ao3 is doing is just that but on a larger scale, with servers instead of a laptop.

My point is, it's getting impossible to ignore how everyone complains about the lack of lgbt rep in media, and yet the most viciously criticized shows always end up being the ones with any rep at all. everyone complains about there being too few trans creators, then turns around and cancels any trans creator who gets the slightest bit of fame. Because it's easy, right? they're on your side, they should listen, they should want to do better. but you're sure as fuck not making it easy, and these things very quickly escalate far beyond any discussion of improvement, and into complete opposition to the very concept.

Yeah, ao3 has some horrid stuff on it. What's the alternative? Yeah, leftist trans youtubers sometimes say problematic things. they're people. people make mistakes. who else is educating about leftist and queer issues online on such a scale and in a way that is accessible to people who don't already agree with you? yeah, steven universe... you know what, actually i don't think i've ever heard a single reasonable critique of that show. and what other mainstream kids cartoon had a lesbian wedding in 2018? You can't expect perfection while consistently tearing down anything that gets close to it.

[magnoliamyrrh]

i guess what i really wish more of these pro sex work ppl understood, and then theyd understand why i have all the fury of hell when i speak on this and cannot stand any apologetics and would gladly skin myself alive a thousand times over if it meant this shit was wiped off the face of the earth, is that prostitution "sex work" and pedophilia are impossible to detangle from each other. all the narratives of choice are stupid as fuck anyway, and people dont really care about women, but holy fuck. dude maybe at least child sex slavery should be some sort of wake up call

international studies show the averege age of entering prostitution is as young as 14 year old. nicer estimates place it at 16 - clearly much better. and even if it was 18 (which its not)- sorry but personally at only 22 i see 18 year old girls as teens, more children than adults, moreso girls i feel a responsibility to look out for, not a group id deem appropriate to engage with sexually, and much less a group i think is in any sort of way fit to make the "choice" to handle the horros of street prostitution... fuckin, international studies show on averege at least 70% of prostitutes were molested as children which speaking from personal experience a)predisposes you to be abused by men again b)is deeply traumatizing and normalizes being sexually used by men with no regard to your own good c)makes you potentially crave or be addicted to being abused by men d)makes it absolutely horrid that all these "SeX bUyErS" are raping deeply traumatized and groomed women stuck in a cycle of abuse.... we have seen very obviously when looking at germany for example, after their legalization, both child sex trafficking and child pornography went up massively.... prostitution has always been linked to sex tourism, sex tourism has always been linked to men traveling to countries where the age of concent is lower (like how in romania its 16) (also the whole racial fetishization thing but that's another fucking issue). lets also not forget that often the most searched pornography terms are young, teen, petite, barely legal, and etc etc etc. lets also not forget that grown ass fucking men salivating over girls who turned 18 yesterday isnt empowering, but fucking vile and while maybe not outright "pedophilia" in some cases it sure as fuck is pushing it real damn close .... but lets also not forget that nowadays it is VERY COMMON for these girls to start selling nudes online before they turn 18 as well, or to have been groomed and coerced by men online when they were even too young to sell them (which a lot a lot of our and the younger generations have gone through, this is what happens when you give your children under 10 several private tech devices and unlimited access to the internet - and also when the averege age of first watching porn is now like, 8 years old). and thats to say nothing on how the current "feminist" movement is essentially grooming girls since before they turn 18 to think this shit is empowering

the men who "BuY SeX" contrary to the god forsaken sex work narrative arent buyers, theyre some of the most low, vile, excraments of the earth who, as far as im concerned i wouldn't oppose being butchered slowly. and because of this, it is of absolutely no surprise that many of them are pedophiles. which is why theres so many prostitutes who are children, clearly the men dont give a fuck and more correctly they enjoy it..... thats why, something i hear very very often, is that the children of prostitutes get raped by their ""clients"". because if a mans willing to rape a drugged out half drunk exhausted poor woman traumatized to hell and back whose just trying to survive, they sure as hell wont have any issue raping her daughter either.

like sorry to be blunt. but girls raped since they were 14 for pennies by grown ass men dont suddenly become "sex workers" the day they turn 18. and when so many prostitutes are literal children maybe using the term "sex work" is some kind of derangement. sorry to be blunt but by these standards, we might as well say i was a sex worker, just under 10 years old, ya? we might as well say it. as far as im concerned, it sounds just as fucking grating to the ear

[uglymanchronicles]

Ugly Man Chronicles Reignition Book 2 Chapter 2: My Breakfast With Evan

Just a couple dudes getting to know each other.

“If you must know,” Evan sighed, spearing a glistening sausage on the end of a flimsy plastic fork, “my jackass older sister thought it would be hilarious to give me a cupcake she'd baked with about a dozen powdered viagra for my fifteenth birthday. I wound up passing out eventually. Burst a lot of blood vessels. Damaged the erectile tissue beyond usefulness.”

Titus froze mid-coffee-sip. “Seriously? What a bitch!”

“Buddy, you don't know the half of it.”

“So... no signs of life down there?”

“Nothing for twelve years.”

“I think I would literally kill myself.��

“It's not so bad, I guess. At least I don't have to drain the blood out of it any more.”

“Eugh! Fuck! Did not need to hear that!”

“Well, maybe you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answer to.”

“Do you get, like, blue balls all the time, then?”

“That's basically my ground state of being.”

Titus whistled flatly, avoiding looking Evan in the eye. He settled for staring at the table. There wasn't a lot of Evan's face that he felt comfortable looking at; every part seemed to at least be adjacent to some unpleasantry or another. About the only safe area was his right eye, which, as luck would have it, was directly opposite Titus's 'good' eye. Titus rallied and met Evan's gaze again. “Alright, your turn.”

They'd agreed on a sort of mutual interview process, taking turns asking questions to suss out what the other was capable or if he was worth having around. Evan took a bite out of the sausage and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.

“Who's Moreno?”

Titus hissed through his teeth. “A real piece of shit.”

“I'm going to need more than that.”

“I'm getting to it. He's basically, like... a freelance henchman? Like, sort of a mercenary criminal. Sells his services to the highest bidder.”

“And why's he matter?”

“That's another question.”

“No, it is not,” Evan said, quiet and serious. “Do not argue with me in bad faith, Titus. I have very little patience for it in the best of times.”

Titus regarded him for a long moment. The man across from him was wider than the table they sat at. His muscles were so pronounced in some points that Titus could tell when he was about to move by the way they bulged and contracted. Yet he gave the impression that he was constantly trying to pull himself inward, to make himself smaller. He spoke quietly and with a simple formality, but only hours before Titus had watched him single-handedly beat down some of the nastiest people he'd met in the past month.

Hmm.

“Fine. Moreno matters because I'm after the guy he's working for. You see, Moreno isn't just a normal scumbag. He works for people who need nasty things done. Not like regular nasty, either. How much do you actually know about magic?”

“I've got some... notes. So far I'm not able to find a lot of coherent rules. It mostly seems like it relies on things that nobody would normally do.”

Titus snapped his fingers and pointed at Evan. “Hit it right on the head. Rituals, reagents, that kind of thing... the reason—well, one of the reasons—magic doesn't just happen all the time by accident is that it's all weird little things. A lot of the more heavy magic relies on some pretty elaborate and obtuse shit to get it going.”

Evan momentarily thought back to the Book of Fate and his ritual in the woods. “So Moreno does these things for people?”

“Yeah. Thing is, though...” Titus stopped raising a forkful of eggs halfway to his mouth and set it down again, as if he'd momentarily lost his appetite. “The people who use his services generally practice some pretty vile magic. Real depraved shit. And to empower depraved magic, you need depraved rituals. Moreno is the guy you go to when...”

“I think I get it,” Evan interjected, since Titus seemed to be struggling with deciding whether to continue. “Your turn.”

Titus tapped his fingers on the table for a moment, then looked Evan in the eye. “How smart are you?”

The scars on Evan's face squirmed around as he actually smirked. “What kind of question is that?”

“Hey, we agreed no 'whys'.”

“Alright, alright. Well, there's really no objective metric for it, but... I have Master's degrees in computer science and theoretical physics, Bachelor's in those in addition to mathematics and electrical engineering, and associate's degrees and certificates in everything from EMT training to ballet. I should have my doctorate in physics, but...” he said, with a bitterness that Titus made a note of, then changed gears. “Oh, and I also speak Mandarin, Spanish, Japanese, French, and Arabic pretty fluently. I also know ASL. I can get by in German and Russian, too. I don't know if any of that is what you meant but--”

“Jesus, I get it,” Titus muttered, rubbing the side of his head. “How the fuck do you make money?”

“Software consulting, mostly. I specialize in security and processing efficiency. People pay me to break into their systems and then patch the holes, or to make their code run quicker or make their programs smaller. I've got a few patents I've licensed that bring in most of my income nowadays, though.”

“Anything I would have heard of?”

“If you've used a computer made in the last four years it probably has something I wrote integrated somewhere into it. I also helped develop a protein-sequencing program that helped develop a vaccine for this nasty SARS variant that broke out in China last year. They say if they hadn’t nipped it in the bud it could’ve spread worldwide and we’d be looking at millions of deaths by now.”

Titus scrunched up his face. “Oh yeah, just say that like it’s no big deal.”

“I’m just glad it turned out not to be one. What I'd really like to do is get my compression algorithm out there, but if I do that, somebody's going to try to hoard it all for themselves.”

“Are you talking to yourself or me?”

“Look, I... a few years ago I figured out a way to compress memory down by a exponential factor of six with zero loss. All it takes is a couple software plugins that don't take up much room themselves. Essentially, I could make a gigabyte fit in a kilobyte with very little trouble, now that the math's figured out.”

“Holy fuck, that's insane! Why haven't I heard anything about this?”

“Mainly because I don't tell people. If I put it up on the market, some ISP would buy it and bury it. If you make information smaller, you make it faster. Can you imagine what it'd do to internet access if dial-up and barebones cellular networks suddenly had the bandwidth of fiber optics? It would... maybe not revolutionize our society, but it would level a lot of playing fields. Bring a lot of underdeveloped areas of the world—hell, this country—up to modern levels with no extra cost. The telecomms would crash and burn so hard. But I don't have the means to get it out there without going through someone else. Yet,” Evan added. “So I basically work watered-down versions of the compressor into the software I make. Nothing that can be duplicated, and nowhere near its full potential, but enough to get me hailed as some kind of genius and pay the bills.”

“So why aren't you on your own private island or something somewhere instead of puttering around God's Ashtray in a shitty old Bug?”

“Hey, the Beetle is not shitty,” Evan said, defensively. “And I'm just waiting for the AC in my RV to get fixed or I'd be driving that.”

“Oh hot damn! Now that's the way to live!”

“Not the one I'd choose voluntarily, but it could be worse.”

“How come you're doing it, then?”

“I think it's my turn to ask,” Evan said, mildly.

“Fine,” Titus said grumpily, crossing his arms.

“How do you make money?”

“That's easy. I'm basically a freelance bailbondsman. I just roam around, drop my advertising around bars and courthouses.”

“You get many clients that way?” Evan asked, cocking his remaining eyebrow.

“Oh, you'd be amazed how desperate people can get,” Titus said, shrugging. “Of course, they're usually not the most responsible people, so when they bounce, I track 'em down myself, drag ‘em back to jail, get the money back. My eye usually makes it super easy. Sometimes they don't even see me before I get the cuffs on 'em.”

“Why did you feel the need to rob a bunch of drug dealers, then? The thrill of it?”

“I had a pressing need for a large amount of cash that my normal work doesn't bring in. That got me enough to hold it off for a while. My turn.”

Evan waved down a waitress for a refill of his coffee, trying not to take it personally when she gasped upon seeing his face. “Go ahead…”

“No, no, hang on.” Titus waved a hand dismissively. “I want to try something. Take your hair out of the ponytail.”

“What? Why?”

“Humor me.”

Evan groaned and reached back, removing his hair tie. After shaking his head, his hair fell over his face, obscuring everything but his nose and mouth. Titus pursed his lips and regarded him seriously for a moment.

“Can you see?”

“Yeah, I guess. Well enough to not walk into things, I think, and I could probably read if I had to.”

Titus snapped his fingers. “Good. Go with that from now on.”

“Why?”

“Because now you don’t look like God’s mistake. Now you look like a big, dumb-but-lovable goon. Like Jack Black would voice you in a cartoon.”

“And that’s a good thing?”

“Do you like seeing people contemplating their own mortality and the general cruel absurdity of the tragic farce that is human existence when they get a glimpse of your face?”

Evan felt his cheeks burn and was actually grateful his hair was covering most of his face. “…not particularly, no.”

“Then there you go. You’re welcome. Okay, question time. Uh… how did you get your powers?”

“Which one?”

“Oh, now who’s arguing in bad faith? Fucking all of them, you thick-lipped gargoyle.”

Evan had the feeling he hit a sore spot. Titus's easy-going, jocular tone had bled away from him, leaving behind the hard-edged razor-blade of a man that had ambushed him the night before. He decided not to belabor the point.

“I don't know why I can rege—why I heal so quickly. No, I'm serious, as far as I know, it just started happening sometime in the past few months. I can't remember. Don't look at me like that, I'll get to that in a minute. When I was younger I recovered from a lot of injuries a lot quicker than the doctors thought I would, so maybe it's something I was born with and it just got stronger recently for some reason.”

Evan took a sip of coffee, mainly to buy a few seconds to think of how much to explain for the next part.

“The ability to shut off powers... that's part of, well, I guess you'd call it a magic ritual, because I don't know what else to call it. I found a weird old book that said it contained the key to making someone an instrument of universal justice, or something of the sort. Since then I can see... I guess they're souls? Maybe? I can sort of move mine and when I run it into someone else's it seems like I can shut off their powers. Or... take them entirely, if they're dying.”

“Horseshit!” Titus scoffed. “That's... that's like meta-magic. I don't even know if that's real.”

“No, seriously! I don't think it's just magic powers, I think it... 'normalizes' things.” He briefly recounted his encounter with the pain monster.

“Are you kidding me? That...” Titus took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, exhaling slowly and loudly. “Look, I don't know much, but the fact that you even ran into something like that, let alone survived... those odds are astronomical. And you say you negated not just its powers, but its whole form?”

“Yeah. Once I... reached into it, like I did with you—oh don't make that face. Grow up—I kind of disrupted what made it... different, I guess? Like I cut it off from its special qualities. Like it was...”

“Disjuncted,” Titus cut in.

“Yeah, that's a good word for it. Like the old Mordenkainen spell?”

“Fucking nerd.”

“Eat my ass. Anyway, after I killed it, I was able to reach into its... soul? Animating force? Aura? I don't know what to call it. I was able to grab something and pull it out and it just got pulled into me.”

“Not aura.”

“What?”

“Aura's a different thing,” Titus said, dismissively. “So what did you get from doing that?”

“I.. I feel pain differently. I don't flinch or get adrenaline rushes from injuries that don't actually impede my ability to function. I think I have a better sense of what is actually dangerous to my body now. It still hurts, but I don't react to pain like people normally do. It's like...hmm.” Evan drummed his fingers on the table. “Do you know anything about video games? Fighting games, specifically?”

“I used to fuck around on an old Alpha 3rd Strike cabinet when I was a kid. Why?”

“Do you know what 'super armor' is?”

“Isn't that where a move can't get stopped by being hit when you're doing it?”

“Right. I'm kind of like that now. Pain doesn't interrupt me.”

“Fucking nerd.”

Evan's fist involuntarily clenched. “I'm trying to put this in terms you can understand, you stupid reprobate. My experience with your judgment thus far hasn't given me much faith in your intellect.”

Titus burst out laughing. “So he does know how to banter! I thought you might be one of those Rainman types.”

“Oh sure, call it 'banter' to try to excuse the fact that you've been insulting me for the past half hour. Do you say you're ‘just joking’ when people get mad at you for saying stupid shit, too?”

“C'mon, lighten up! We're partners now! Tell me more about this soul thing. I still think you're full of shit.”

Evan sighed through his nose, then held up his left hand, forming his fingers into a circle and peering through them.

“Yours is... a sort of cross between a sea green and an oil slick. The tendrils of it keep reaching out and snapping back, going all over the place. It seems to keep expanding and contracting. It's almost flickering, like... it's indecisive. Very chaotic. The tendrils that aren't snapping around seem to be kept pretty close to your body, wrapping around you like... I can't tell if it's protective or restrictive.”

Titus's expression slowly became serious. “What does that mean?”

“I don't know. I have a lot of theories, but nothing solid to go on. I'm not sure if it's allegorical or a literal representation of a person's... power, maybe? Yours definitely looks a lot different than most people's.”

“I don't believe this for a second. Let me see.”

“How would I do tha—hey!”

Titus grabbed Evan's wrist and held his hand up to his eye. “Ho-lee...”

He pulled back from Evan's hand, staring at him. Then he looked around the room, mouth slack as he took in the diner's other occupants.

“Huh. Did you know it keeps working until you blink?” He said after a moment, a faraway tone to his voice.

“I didn't even know other people could do it,” Evan said, awe in his voice. “Hey, wow, you're right!”

“Jesus, yours is, like, really blue. It looks like... a bunch of steel cables. It's weird, I felt like I both could and couldn't see the edges of it...”

“I can kind of move it, but I'm not sure if I can do anything with it beyond interfering with people's powers. It's like learning to use a muscle you didn't know you had.”

“Huh.” Titus was again silent for a long moment. “Your turn.”

“Can you do anything else supernatural? Besides your time-eye?”

“Don't call it that, it sounds stupid. And... sorta. I seem to have whatever innate talent you need to actually do magic, but it's not like it's easy to find instructions. Most of the people I know who can use it just dabble with half-broken magic items—wands, amulets, charms,” he pulled the silence charm out from under his coat and bounced it at the end of its chain. “I guess I'm sort of a dabbler. I know a few tricks, I can use a lot of magic tools, I can sense magic pretty well, I can dowse... Most of the time I really never have to use anything besides the eye, though.”

“Is the eye all-or-nothing?”

“Yeah. It's not nearly as useful as you'd think, but any edge is an edge.”

“When I turned off your power and it was coming back, though, you started speeding up—or, I guess, everything else was slowing down? You were moving faster, one way or the other. You were able to touch me, and those punches hurt.”

“Huh, yeah, you're right.”

“Do you think there's a way you could learn to only partially activate it?”

“That'd be great, wouldn't it? Thing is, just using it is a huge strain, and that time spend outside of time adds up. Going by normal calendar time I'm only 26.”

“Fuck, I'm 27!” Evan laughed.

“Yeah, well, I'd rather be prematurely gray than what you've got going on. My turn. Uh... huh, I can't really think of anything else. Uh... are you gay?”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“No, but the question still counts.”

“I'm bi,” Evan mumbled, crossing his arms across his prodigious chest. “Not that it matters. And before you ask, no, you are not my type. We're done talking about this.”

“Huh. You ever sucked--”

“We. Are. Done. Talking about this.”

“Fine, God. Go.”

Evan mentally circled back to an earlier question he felt hadn't been properly answered. “Why are you after Moreno?”

To Evan's surprise, Titus didn't hesitate. “I'm actually after his current boss. He's just the best lead I have to go on.” He took a deep breath, then started talking with a rushed, deadpan pace, as if he was eager to get the words out as quickly as possible so they wouldn't be in his mouth very long.

“Moreno is working for a guy only known as the Soultaker. He has an innate supernatural ability to pull a person's soul out of their body. When that happens, the person just... shuts down, usually. No motive force behind them. Eventually they just die of dehydration, usually. I've seen some people so set in routine that they keep going without a soul, but... it's not really life.

“It seems like the extraction process takes a while, so he can't just walk past you on the street and pickpocket your entire essence. So he needs people rounded up for him, held until he can do his nasty juju. So that's where a degenerate like Moreno comes in.

“So when he pulls out a soul, it, well, it looks like this.”

Titus pulled a battered, faded Crown Royale bag out of his jacket. It bulged strangely and made a quiet clacking when he set it on the table. He pulled out what looked like a large marble, or maybe a dull pearl, and handed it to Evan.

Evan brushed his hair out of his eyes and peered into the milky depths of the sphere. After a few moments of staring, the murky clouds inside the thing seemed to clear and a face floated to the surface. A black man, maybe in his late 40s, going thin on top. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping, but his expression had a look of discomfort to it, as if he was having a bad dream.

“Jesus Christ,” Evan whispered, “I've seen this guy... Martell Calloway? I saw some news article about how his family found him tied up in his apartment and completely comatose! But he didn't have any injuries beyond being a black eye... so he's dead?”

“Life support,” Titus said, taking Mr. Calloway's soul back from Evan's unresisting fingers, “technically, he's one of the lucky ones. They found his body before it wasted away to nothing, and I was able to intercept his soul before it got to a buyer.”

“Why would someone buy something like this? What use is it? Can you fix him?”

“A human soul is a damn near exhaustible arcane battery,” Titus said gravely. In the split second between sentences, Evan noticed something—after he'd put the bag back into his jacket, Titus surreptitiously touched a pocket on the other side of his jacket, as if he was making sure something was still there.

“If you know what you're doing, you can power a lot of magic using a soul. And you can reuse them as long as you don't overdo it. If you know what you're doing, you can wring all but the last drops of essence out of a soul and let it heal or recover or whatever, and it'll eventually be back to full strength. Very resilient things,” Titus continued. “I don't think they're conscious in there, but... anyway, it's supposed to be really hard to extract a soul. But this guy was born with or spontaneously developed or somehow figured out a shortcut to the whole process. So the market is getting flooded with torture-batteries and ECUs are getting flooded with vegetables. And families are winding up with loved ones who are as good as dead, without having any idea why this happened to them. Dozens of them have been taken off life support in the past few months. Half these souls have no body to return to. And no, I can't fix it. At least not yet,” he sighed again. “I was hoping once I found him, I could somehow get the secret out of him or force him to put them back, or... maybe I thought if I killed him it'd reverse the effect. He needs killing, either way.”

Titus's eye widened as a thought struck him and he looked Evan in the eye for the first time since he'd started the story. Evan realized what he was thinking and looked down at the tattoo on his left arm, flexing his fingers.

“If you can take people's powers after they die...”

“...then we can save these people.”

Titus put a hand over his mouth and for a moment Evan thought he saw his eye well up.

“I'm in,” Evan said, a sense of righteous purpose welling in his heart. “I don't really know what the universe wants, but I doubt... I know it's not this. We'll find him, we'll stop him, and we'll save as many of these people as we can.”

“...thanks,” Titus mumbled behind his hand. He swallowed hard, then seemed to come back to himself. “We're back to square one, though.”

“You said you could dowse? Like, for real?”

“Yes, for real. I can find things and people with the pendulum method. It's handy for tracking down bounties.”

“Why don't you dowse Moreno?”

“Why didn't I think of that?!” Titus said incredulously, smacking his forehead. “Because he's warded. He's not magic himself, but he's collected enough gear through his career that my normal methods don't work.”

Evan rubbed his chin. “What if we used an abnormal method?”

-------------------

An hour later, they were in the RV. Titus was poring over the collection of Evan's notes and the strange papers he'd bought from Delmann's shop. Evan was very carefully slicing a strip of skin from his own ankle up all the way up his leg. The Guiding Light—the Finder's Follysat on the table between them, filled with fresh blood.

“Even if this works, he's going to know we're coming,” Titus muttered, engrossed in the pages. “Remember what I said?”

“That's why we're not going to look for him,” Evan said, adjusting his grip on the potato peeler. “I don't know how we'd even write his name. Can you read that, by the way?”

“Kind of. This is... most of this is written in, like, arcane pidgin. Who compiled these notes?”

“I did, I think.”

“You think?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot to clarify on that. Apparently a couple months ago, before the ritual, I drilled a hole in my own brain to erase some kind of very dangerous memory.”

“You what.”

“That's not a metaphor or anything. Really did it. I could show you the video.”

“I'll pass. So you don't remember where this came from?” Titus shook the Book of Fate at him.

“Nope.”

“Jesus shit, do you have any idea--”

“How reckless that was? Yeah, yeah, I'm still here and I'm the answer to your fuckin' prayers, aren't I?” Evan gave a whoop as the peeling skin reached his thigh. “Got it this time!” he said cheerfully, snipping the flesh-ribbon off with scissors.

“God, that's so fucking gross. Anyway, you haven't explained how we're going to use that thing to find Moreno.”

“We don't set it to look for him. We look for somewhere he's been. Maybe the last place he slept. Do you think you can describe him well enough in that language for it to work?”

Titus looked like he might actually be impressed, but he hid it well. “Yeah, probably.”

“Good. I've got a dictionary I've put together on that tablet next to you, but I'm not sure how accurate it is. Maybe it'll help?”

---------------------

Two hours later, they had it.

Find where a man born between the 27th and 28th north parallels during a new moon under the sign of capricorn with black hair and green eyes who has killed at least 10 people slept in the past week.

They really had to squeeze the letters in, but when Evan put a flame to the wick, it sprung to life, wavered for a moment, and then pointed east. Both men cheered. Evan threw Titus the keys.

“Drive! Drive north until I tell you otherwise!”

While Titus started the engine, Evan spread a map of the United States on the table in front of the lamp, then produced a protractor and a notebook from a drawer. “Okay, you bastard... let's see where you've been hiding...”

It took three days—one spent driving north, one spent driving back to where they'd started, and one spent driving south. While Titus drove, Evan made meticulous notes of the flame's direction, marking angles on the map. Finally he threw the pencil down triumphantly.

“He's in Salt Lake City.”

“Well, that narrows it down a little, I guess. So what, do we just go there and hope this thing points us in the right direction?”

“Too slow,” Evan called, stepping back into what used to be his bedroom and sitting at his computer. “Now I work my magic.”

After parking, Titus walked back to look over Evan's shoulder. The half-dozen monitors on the wall were flickering between rapidly-changing pictures of faces and what appeared to be CCTV footage.

“What is this?”

“This,” Evan said with dramatic pride, “is Blaccat. Facial recognition algorithms that the CIA wishesit had. I actually started working on it years ago before I thought about the implications of it, but I shelved it. I figured since I may be needing to, uh...”

“Be Batman?”

“...yeah...that I should get back to work on it. Right now it's comparing faces to the description you gave me and cycling through every damn security camera in the city looking for it.”

“How illegal is this?”

“Soooooo illegal.”

“Oh, hey, can you get into police department records?”

“Does the Pope shit in the woods?”

“See if you can get into the Las Vegas mugshots from... February 2019. Run your face-recognition thingy there.”

“Alright.... and... is that our boy?”

A handsome Latino man in his early 30s with shoulder-length jet-black hair and piercing green eyes stared at them from over a booking clipboard.

“That's him,” Titus breathed.

“Perfect! Now I just have to feed that into... wow.” Evan made a gesture and a black and white video popped up on the biggest monitor. The man in the mugshot was walking along the street, flanked by a short stocky man in bandanna and a lanky man with the ugliest white-boy dreads Evan had ever seen.

“That's him! Where is that? When is that?”

Evan grinned up at Titus. “That's live. I can track him and put us at the nearest intersection.”

Titus smiled, eye overbright, and began breathing heavily through his nose. “We got him.”

Evan met his eye and nodded. “Let's get him.”

[danswank]

I really appreciate you opening your blog up to discourse on the allegations, especially since it’s a topic that many feel extremely passionate about on either side. Tbh I agree with everything I’ve seen you say on this. I think if they want to prove their innocence, assuming the main allegation isn’t true, then they should be able to do so without people saying that they don’t support victims, those two concepts aren’t mutually exclusive. Also, I think if people want to continue supporting that’s fine, and if they don’t then that’s fine too. Obviously this is a super polarizing topic and everyone is allowed to have an opinion on it, but I can’t get with people harassing others for whatever side they’re choosing to take. I’ve never been active on the atl Twitter fandom but I’ve seen so many people who are former fans telling the band members and people still choosing to support that they should hurt themselves or look themselves. I might be slightly biased as I work in a psych hospital, but you don’t tell someone to do those things. I don’t care what the situation is, that shit is vile and disgusting. The most insane thing about that is that the people who are saying that to others are the same people who have called themselves mental health advocates in the past (like when they were still supporting atl it was “mental health matters” and now it’s the opposite). Like, have your opinion, that’s fine, but just because you don’t want to continue supporting or feel like you no longer can, you don’t tell someone to harm/kill themselves. Like, you can’t claim to be a mental health advocate and then go tell people to off themselves. Also, since I work in the setting I do, I can’t help but wonder how the bands mental health is doing from all of this. The only good thing in that regard is they likely have the money and access to mental health resources if these comments started really impacting them, but the people on Twitter getting told these awful things might not which is often how tragic situations (ie suicide) happen. Basically, I think everyone should do what they need to do for themselves in this situation, but when former fans (it’s like 99% former fans saying these things) try to tell others what to do or what to think, or that they should end their life, that’s where a line has to be drawn. This situation is being treated like there are two clear, black or white answers when in reality there is so much gray area

sorry i’ve just responded to the last few asks with i agree but i agree lol it’s obviously a topic that hits a nerve with people for many different reasons and i understand why so many feel so strongly about it. but really, there’s never an excuse to just bully people on the internet.

re: the boys’ mental health, i’ve literally thought about it since the tiktok came out and people were harassing jack. when 97 blew up and they stopped taking bras on the stage, you can tell his mood on stage just shifted. even regardless of if he did or didn’t do it, he’s a real person. people forget that. these are real people with real emotions, and a history of mental illness. not trying to be crazy, and i hate that it weighed so heavy on my mind when we weren’t sure what to believe, but i can’t help it. that kind of harassment is not easy to get through. i know at least alex and jack were in therapy at some point so i have to believe they’re all getting the help they need.

[fuckyeahasexual]

I don't know how to word this. Someone said that asexuals never do anything for the wider community, and I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. So I wondered if you had evidence to the contrary?

I’ve been thinking about this post for about a day and a half. I answer a lot of posts via my phone because it’s more accessible but I knew this one would have to wait until I had a keyboard and because of that I’ve been able to connect more thoughts about how misguided the person that said is. 

Let’s first take a look about America’s over focus on “being independent”. How that is the most valuable thing you can be in this culture. How it’s inherently impossible. But this focus on “Well what did you do for us?” That question does not value community effort. It does not value effort that is by people that benefit something other than the self. 

And because so many people’s focus is “Well what did you do” we have a  culture of celebrity and one of icons. Were we put people on a pedestal as if they were above, or better, or greater than the rest of us lowly people. 

And at this first point you, but more probably that acephobe, might be thinking ‘what the hell, answer the question. What did aces do for the community? Which again, this is a misunderstanding how community building works. A community is a nebula to swirls around births ideas. An idea makes a footnote, long past it’s first thought. Decades or even centuries after the idea was first had. It doesn’t mean the last person “did it.”

In at least America, there are extremely few people we can look at and say X did Y for the community. Even if you name 20 names. Those were the leaders. Or those were the ones who had the supreme court case that made it to the court. Not the countless others of cases. It ignores and places no value on those who fought, inspired, helped, or did some other duty that aided the whole. While leaders should be remembered, I think it’s very important that we don’t isolate ourselves into thinking “Well we only have [Icon Name Here].” It’s wildly untrue. 

People who say want you to point to an celebrity with a shared label also ignore how English works in regards to labeling. And how labels historically are a overall in the grand scope of history a new invention. 

An while aces directly challenge things like heteronormativity, compulsory sexuality, and rape culture. Each of those systems plays into the patriarchy, and white supremacy. And everything we do fights against those systems, and benefits those harmed by them. We also as individual people also fight in ways that may have nothing to do with asexuality but aim to keep the wider community safe. For example, I have an ace friend who is not an “queer activist” but has sewed and given out I dunno like 50 masks for people during this pandemic for free. Therefore literally enabling life to go on.

Not only do I gotta point out the folly in “what have you done for me?” when it comes to human rights. White supremacy has made a lot of enemies, and it wouldn’t be wrong to say we aren’t free until we are all free because oppression of one kind is aided by another. I also gotta point out the vile implication that someone else’s rights are only worth fighting for because they may aid your specific needs.

And if you believe that being queer, wherever personal label on the wide range of options, is inherently natural, then you cannot deny that aces or trans people or [label here] have always existed and always helped out. If you are looking for aces who helped, look at any human rights movement and see what was being done. I know there’s plenty of recorded history with aces and lesbians on women’s rights issues. But that doesn’t mean ace men weren’t doing things. History as a record is incomplete. If it wasn’t it you’d have to relive it nearly in real time.

I also inherently hate this idea of “What did X group do for Y-over arching group”. I see this a lot from white people who are like fighting racism doesn’t help me. Despite the known history of black communities feeding the poor, or fighting for voting rights, and surely a countless number of things. The “oppressor class” whom ever it may be would rather have you believe that were only out for themselves. Because that way, if you aren’t an oppressor yourself, you don’t trust or value efforts of those who aren’t you either because you believe them useless to “your cause”. It’s not again not only untrue, but I think denies the truth that no one is this American idea of independent. We are all connected. 

We are currently in the information age, and the internet has allowed us to better see our interconnection to each other. And I’m sure you, or maybe the person who asked that, wanted Name-Here, that has a wikipedia page that you can learn more about that like said fuck my own rights, I’m fighting for seemingly unrelated issue. I won’t give you evidence for that, because you don’t need it.

Instead I hope you can see that the question bugged you for a reason, a good reason. But the answer, should be instead the realization that the asker just wanted to make you feel disconnected, not only from the community today, but from that nebulous timeless beauty that is humans working tirelessly, namelessly together for each other. Human history is full of so much cruelty to each other, but I think despite whatever oppressive system there is humans are social beings that like helping each other. And I think that’s fucking hopeful even in the darkest of times. 

[septembersghost]

your fake ass king said it, he knows dw was a piece of shit who had nothing to offer the world. dw knew it himself, you were all too stupid to listen to him when he said it every few so episodes a season. he had no purpose and you all really thought you did something when you defended him and thought he should live. if even ja can finally admit that he was a worthless husk of a person, then it's time for all of you to face it too. he was NOTHING wout the better ppl around him and a burden to all

preface: 💖✨ friends, mutuals, and followers, I adore and treasure you and am very sorry for this post ✨💖

I almost didn’t publish this, but then I thought - what’s the preferable option here, delete it, and let you believe it injured me enough to hide from it, or feed your rampant derangement [derogatory] by answering it? (the irony of my kindhearted anon the other day saying they hoped no one had been mean to me makes this even more suspect, were you chilling in the corner, waiting and hoping for something to pounce with, or is this just random bitterness overflowing? I would like to analyze you).

may I please point out that this is not what he said, it's like one of them speaks and then it becomes a game of telephone, and what is eventually concluded is not what was originally stated. I’m not going to argue with you further because reading this, I am aware that your particular form of hatefulness is not going to be combated or changed by me countering it with canonical facts or emotionally eloquent rebuttal. I don’t know who you think you’re defending when the “better people around him” loved him immeasurably. I could tell you that this is comically reductive, unimaginative, black and white thinking utterly lacking in depth, nuance, or insight, but this is what you believe, and it is your choice to live in your own constructed ugly hellscape, so enjoy rolling around in the muck if you must.

what I will say is that this behavior is vile and immature, if not altogether disturbing, and as someone who does not participate in quite a bit of the culture of this fandom (this is a TINY blog, do you think you’re going to get attention by acting like a shrieking harpy? ma’am - or sir, or whatever your preferred title, I don’t know your life - I have NO reach, there are people who have thousands of followers and it would be odious of you to bother them, but why you chose insignificant little me is truly baffling. put on a mask, and take a walk around the block), nor have I ever felt the need to send anonymous hate mail, and I am QUITE certain you know better than this, but have seen the fact that I...I don’t know? love a character? genuinely grieve him? openly write thoughts and my own (totally subjective! it’s my mind and my blog!) perspective on the metaphors in the text because it interests me and I care enough to be invested in that? struggle with physical and mental health conditions? and decided I was a cool target at whom to direct your ire. the thing is, as hurt as I have been, you have absolutely no power to harm me, because you are like one pesky little gnat in the midst of a dense forest. I have bigger things to deal with, one swat and you’re out.

I’ve only been back here for a few months, and I’ve had interactions with old friends and new that I will cherish. I never had drama until you decided to come here with a shockingly bad take (I never had drama on my old blog that I inhabited happily for many years because I had anon turned off, but I have it open here to allow people to talk to me without anxiety, if they want to! you’re not going to get me to close it, so harassing me does not give you an edge there). I’m probably not going to be here much longer, I’m amazed every day that I’m still around with internet access and made it to March. that’s not the fandom, that’s my life and the fact that I’m on constantly borrowed time. so you can send me whatever, but it doesn’t make a difference. you can’t chase me off of Tumblr, you can’t take him away from me (it’s WAY too late for that. learn to time travel, and if after you’ve accomplished that incredible, groundbreaking feat, you’re still this pressed, then go back to that September night and tell me not to watch the pilot). at some point you can gloat and cackle in my absence, I really don’t care. if my loving a/these character(s) and a story this much bothers you, then watch me rub my delicate, damnable little hands all over everything.

I wish I could appeal to your humanity or sense of decency in telling you that describing someone (real or fictional) in the terms you’ve used here is unconscionably damaging and cruel, and no one who lives with trauma or depression or suicidality (or all of the above) deserves to be told they’re worthless or a burden, but your lack of empathy tells me that, too, would have no marked effect. You'll never be a first-class human being until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.

I may live with pain and ideation and a thousand things you’ll never comprehend, but I still have compassion and a beating, caring heart. try it out sometime, you might start to find some actual joy in the world, instead of whatever hollow, miserable mess this is.

[illnessfaker]

[ cw: f-slur, rape mention ]

no reblogs pls. this is a long vent.

haha not to be a hysterical faggot crippled shut-in freak or anything but the way ppl talk abt the defensiveness around the f-slur that some gay/bi male users (and some transfem users) on here as if it's some kind superiority pissing contest thing and not primarily about...respecting the boundaries and experiences of those gay/bi male (and transfem) users. like...being on this site as a fag-adjacent person (i say that half-jokingly because it sounds silly on one hand but on the other that's the most accurate descriptor of my gender identity, lol) is becoming increasingly draining and upsetting with how "progressive" homophobia against gay/bi men is apparently becoming, like, a meme among lgbtq people and that's acceptable somehow bc lgbtq people aren't cishets or because it's "only online" and therefore doesn't matter.

like idgaf abt ppl who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem) using the f-slur in every single context possible. if they're affectionately referring to their gay/bi male (or transfem) friends with that word (so long as said friends are comfortable with it) that's one thing. who cares. i even rb'd something where a cis butch (iirc) lesbian was talking about a gay man she knew who she was affectionatly calling a faggot and the things she said warmed my heart. if they're throwing it around at every opportunity or using it as an edgy insult against random strangers on the internet, that's another. the users on here who do the latter also regularly display behavior that like...shows a pretty clear disdain for gay/bi men (or transfem ppl) not apart of their online or "irl" circlejerks and echo chambers, and that is in no way disconnected from their love of using the f-slur, lol.

the "it's only online and so it's unimportant uwu go outside" thing also really feels like such a spit in the face as someone who both lives in a rural area full of cishet white men with guns that might try to kill me if i walked out of the house in drag (not to mention i live with my bf and his family and his parents are homophobes themselves i'm sure), and is also someone with health issues that usually keep me at home and in bed when i'm not working. i didn't always live here but even in my hometown the only "lgbtq space" i had was the high school GSA which didn't do shit other than the day of silence and was attended by people i did not feel safe around (e.g. my ex-friend who was very emotionally manipulative and ended up raping someone.) i don't have any other lgbtq spaces to go to other than online ones. if i never joined tumblr i might still be a self-hating cishet girl, or i might be dead, who knows. like, i've accepted at this point that personhood isn't something i'm allowed in (outside of my whiteness) so fuck me i guess if we need to but the idea that other young, impressionable, and/or traumatized lgbtq people who only can meet other lgbtq people and learn about lgbtq things online for whatever reason don't deserve to have us make an effort on cultivating internet spaces that are as accessible and safe for them as possible, or that their experiences and feelings are somehow unimportant is just...vile. like ofc not everyone needs to "pander" to "logged on" disabled fags like myself maybe but if you have any kind of large following on social media maybe consider that the things you say and do on said social media have like...an actual effect on other people instead of pretending that it's "just online" and therefore consequences for your actions either don't matter enough (to you personally) or somehow don't exist.

but going back to the fag thing, most popular lgbtq tumblr users on my dash i see nowadays just...simply do not give a shit whatsoever about gay/bi men, to the point they're normalizing "progressive" and "acceptable" homphobia against us bc they've convinced themselves due to the bigotry some gay/bi men (often cis, white, and wealthy mind you) exhibit we are "the cishets of the lgbtq community," despite horrific violence still being committed against us every day and despite other lgbtq people being capable of engaging in that violence themselves. ppl make thinly veiled jokes and memes where the punchline is men having sex with each other or effeminacy as if those things aren't primary avenues for gay/bi men being abused, assaulted, and killed (including acts of abuse and assault of a sexually-driven nature), as if said jokes and memes don't serve to normalize the mentalities that drive homophobic hate crimes. it's not like...a coincidence that most lgbtq people who makes these jokes aren't gay/bi men (or transfem). this doesn't even get into how things like homophobia and anti-effeminacy can pretty much boot certain gay/bi men from manhood...or womanhood...or any place in gender altogether.

call me exlusionary if you want but i think it's fair to say that the chances of people who aren't gay/bi men (or transfem*) facing the repurcussions of those mentalities in any meaningful way, the chances of these people actually having lived as or going to live as "faggots" is any meaningful sense is slim to none, and that's why they're so comfortable participating in this shit, and that's why i'm triggered(tm) by them "reclaiming" faggot (which doesn't really involve reclamation bc calling random strangers on the internet or gay/bi men you hate a slur isn't reclamation you morons), because frankly if you're not apart of either of those groups, you're just not a fucking faggot. it's not your word just because some rando on overwatch called you it for picking hanzo in comp. period. end of story. it's also just extremely absurd to try and claim faggotry as something you experience while...readily and happily engaging in homophobia and fag-hate (which isn't synonymous with the former term but i'm talking abt ppl who probably seldom ever engage which discussions and theory surrounding how homophobia instrumentates itself in society - or at least that which doesn't conform to their worldview). within the gay/bi male community there's plentu of masc "straight-acting" gays who weaponize this shit against fem gays and they (should) get held accountable in the same way. you're not special.

and god, being told my gendered experiences as a fag-adjacent person where (white) cafab women are fully capable of engaging in social forms of "oppression" against me and other fags in undeniably gendered ways is somehow an outlier and therefore not reflective of broader social by (white) masc urbanite tbros with definitively more social standing than i'll ever have in my life, as if i somehow developed this understanding of gendered violence just based off my own life and not...the reported and sometimes even recorded experiences of countless other fags who get mocked and silenced because anything that deviates from a watered down, shoddy cis feminist take on gender is fake news(tm) or bordering on saying misandry exists (like no it doesn't exist but acting as if homophobic shit like anti-sodomy laws, for example, has zero to do with gay/bi men's manhood is just nonsensical). convos on here abt gender being mostly dominated by (white) cafab women or sometimes (white) masc trans guys is such a mistake lmao.

anyway i'm tired and stressed and pretty done with having "acceptable" homophobic shit shoved in my face on a daily basis both online and offline but nevertheless i must persist because i'm not lucky enough to have anywhere else to go, really. just...think critically abt ur actions regarding gay/bi male sexuality and gender-stuff pretty please. please.

( *disclaimer just in case that i definitely don't see transfems as some "type" of gay/bi men. there are transfems who identify with gay/bi manhood and/or faggotry. there are transfems who don't. that's entirely up to them. thank u. )

[kevindrakewriter]

I Will Revel in Trump’s Loss...

...but I want to make it clear Trump supporters need to be brought back into the fold. Yes they elected and tried to re-elect a white supremacists, misogynist, oligarch, but they did it because they are in pain. They wanted to hurt liberals and progressives without a thought about others pain. In fact, they have shown a huge lack of empathy and scope of the world. Their childhood and introduction into adulthood has failed them. This is a problem we must solve because it will not go away.

We are going to have to look hard about our media consumption and access to resources if we are going to heal this divide. If the Republicans and Democrats continue to play our differences for their political power we will careen into more extreme versions of Donald Trump, Proud Boys, Boogaloo, etc. It should have happened in the 90s, to be honest, but the internet provided enough novelty and entertainment that distracted us. But now that it has been weaponized and codified for propaganda, the internet can not distract or slow down these dark events. It may in fact speed them up.

Yes you are hurt. The Trump administration and their supports were vile and some of the worst of our country got enshrined in our government, but know that the pain they inflict means there is pain that they want you to know they have. We can be better and should aspire to be. Punish Trump, yes, but have compassion for the ones swept up in their desperation for someone to answer their call for aid.

Trump for some reason has a magnetic charm on these people. Not to assign magical powers to Trump, but I can not wrap my head around it. I think of myself as a pretty empathetic person but there is a...wall (for lack of a better analogy) when it comes to extending that empathy and desire to understand the supporters. And I can only concluded that they don’t even know what it is that attracts them to him only that it provides a font for dark desires. Hate and anger can be addictive (literally, studies have show adrenaline released in rage can have addictive side effects see source 1, 2) and like opioids rural America has an addiction to anger (they are always victims of someone who got more attention, more opportunities, more money, more resources. To listen to them you would think they are destitute and could barely cloth themselves. Trust there are rural poor, but they did not vote, the land owning middle to upper middle class did.) Now some of this should be taken with a grain of salt. Most Trump supporters are small business people who live stressful lives keeping their shop successful. But to be in business is to court stress almost daily. To be jealous of Amazon and Walmart, while valid in a tax and social engineering sense, doesn’t mean the life of a business person is easy. Its a constant scramble, a constant hustle, and if you don’t like it, then being in business is not for you.  Bezos and Gates are where they are because they had capital when they started and positioned their business not on a precious idea but on an industry that needed a product. Their wealth is more of an engineered phenomenon than “Doing what you love!”. Trump doesn’t do what he loves, he does what he needs to keep his family fortune invested and building capital. And his biggest customer are those who desire wealth and easy money, the desperate, the hurt, those who feel isolated. Trump Golf Clubs, Trump books, Trump University, Trump Charities, Casinos, etc all design to take that desperation and turn it into a delusion of a promise for a better life. That’s why he is compared to a snake oil salesman. He literally promises you your dreams if you invest in him while giving you nothing or worse poison.

The Trump supporters are poison and poisoned. We would be no better than him if we just stood by and let them parish, without helping them somehow. And I’m not saying a stimulus check will do it because the problem is systematic, but a wolf trapped doesn’t understand engineering. It just knows it is in pain. We have to free them. We have to help them along. This is not over. It began long ago. No brunch for me - I need to heal some souls.

[autisticstarseed]

idk. the idea that people still find ways to defend call out posts for anyone under 18 or even have normalized seeing 16-21 as a fully matured adult is so weird and really accentuates how fucked up our current internet centric culture is. like. having completely public, readily accessible and all but permanent info from the timeline of every single stream of consciousness that also has a computer has warped everybodies fuckin brains. yall are actually ok with shouting about your right to make a 14 yr old feel like a demonic vile irredeemable villain that belongs in guantanamo bay, and half of the time over things that you or your closest peers literally also did as a teen, the only difference being you dont have an online receipt about it. and ur trying to pass this off as a moral obligation.

if you’re so mad that a teenager did something wrong (hint; somewhat common) that you’re stalking them and encouraging harassment in some weird obsessive revenge fantasy you need to step back and recognize what your place actually is in this scenario. like forgive me for the hot take but social media culture is a mistake and teenagers arent meant to be put on display to adults like this, when they make mistakes the Only acceptable punishment for that is in a Safe and Caring environment, from adults they fucking >KNOW AND TRUST<, in healthy and productive ways. “its about responsibility” where is your responsibility to not damage a child in your anger and retaliation. “but they need to know it was wrong” mam let me put it this way if you went up in public and tried to punish somebody Elses kid or rather went up to a random teen By Their Self and began shouting smth they did wrong and actively tried to get other people in the area to shout at them too you would be arrested. the internet is just the same people in public except theyre talking on computers. do you understand that like do you comprehend why thats the wrong way to go about the situation and you are not the right person to be doing that. tbh you are a literal adult stranger, no matter what its just downright inappropriate of you to try to put yourself in that role. and sorry if this is cringe but it really just borders on child abuse to encourage cyberbullying of minors amongst other adults. im not saying ‘leave it to the parents’ who prob have no idea whats going on, but i am saying, you are definitely the farthest thing from one, and should keep that in mind.

[therealtsk]

On Criticism, Fanfiction, And Writers

I’d like to preface this with the fact that I am a fanfic author. I’ve made no attempt to hide this. I don’t feel any need to. Fanfiction itself isn’t anything to be ashamed of. I’ve enjoyed my time in my fandoms, and I honestly think that I’ve become a better writer because of what I’ve been through. I’ve seen fanfiction shilled as a place for new writers to learn characterization and plotting without having to worry about worldbuilding and such, and that’s true...if you have people who will give you good feedback. Otherwise, you’ll learn all the wrong lessons from writing fanfic, because most of the people who read fanfic are not there to help you improve. They’re there to enjoy something for free.  I’d like to focus on that last bit: for free. Fanfiction is free entertainment. So long as you have access to the internet, you can read fanfic for free. And that’s why, I think, criticism of fanfic is oft so looked down upon.  “Dude, this was written and produced for free. Why are you criticizing it?”  “The author just wanted to write something for fun. They decided to share it with us, and you’re telling them they suck? Wow.”  “Why are you giving crit! No one asked?!” To some degree, I agree with all of this. Posting crit in the comment section of a fic when is not asked for is rude. Full stop. And there are many, many people who don’t know how to give crit. There are many, many people who will use the guise of criticism to shit on something they don’t like. I have no love for those people. I’ve seen many authors bullied off of platforms or forced to change their fics due to the sheer amount of vitriol and hate from the anonymous masses of the internet. I have only enmity for those people.  However.  Let’s lay out three things. Number one: crit is not always for the author. As a matter of fact, this is what most reviews of books, movies, games, ect are. They’re not directed at the author, they’re directed at an audience. The author can choose to read this or not, but if someone chooses to discuss the failings of a fic without directing it at the author, I hardly think that person is evil. Obviously, there are lines that shouldn’t be crossed. I’m not a fan of bashing. Criticism should always be con-structive rather than de-structive.  Number two: crit is necessary to grow as a writer. Obviously, this doesn’t apply to the “I write fanfic for fun” gang- and there’s nothing wrong with that. But it is a solid fact that you are not going to improve as a writer without people giving you feedback. And even the nicest, most gently phrased crit is going to hurt. You have to learn to live with that hurt. This makes me sound elitist, but if you cannot handle criticism in any way, shape, or form, do not post to a public forum. Even if it’s frowned upon to send crit to authors who aren’t asking, people do it. It’s a shame, but they do it. If you wanna write fanfic but don’t want to deal with crit, share it with friends. Disable comments on AO3. But if you want to improve as a writer, you’re going to have to learn how to deal with it.  Number three: nothing should be immune to criticism.  I think that it is inherently dangerous to state that anything should be immune to criticism of any kind. Criticism is how we protect ourselves from propaganda and hate speech. Criticism is how we defend ourselves against the spread of toxic norms and ideas. Criticism is how we push back.   Fanfiction can contain vile things. I’ve read fanfics that had my stomach churning. I’ve read fanfics that are offensive and I’ve read fanfics that I earnestly believe shouldn’t have been posted.  “But fanfic is harmless!”  No. It isn’t. Fanfic, like every other form of literature that exists on this planet, has the power to influence. In the age of the internet, nothing online exists in a vacuum. Ideas, the most potent and resilient of viruses, spread rapidly and spread unseen. And you’re mistaken if you believe that people can’t implant insidious things in fanfic. Just the last week, I’ve seen trauma exploited and romanticized. I’ve seen relationships with minors normalized. I’ve seen nazis excused and rapists defended. I’ve seen a lot of shit. And it’s important to call that shit out. To be brave enough to criticize authors who put those kinds of things in their works. If fanfic becomes immune to criticism, then how do we push out those kinds of ideas, when they’re buried into the works like worms buried in the dirt?  In the lawless land of the internet, we must be the arbiters of our own communities. And criticism is essential to that.  If you see someone bashing, tell them to stop. If someone is getting needlessly bullied for trying to defy fandom norms, defend them. But constructive, fair crit should not be treated as a crime. If it is, we’re failing to protect ourselves.