#this part needed giffing and i couldnt find gifs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

9902sgirl · 8 months ago

Text

I have thoughts. I have feelings. Here are my thoughts and feelings.

Loved this chapter, and the way you write is astounding. Honestly, its like witnessing art being made in real time. All love Roy!!

Okay, I feel like this gif applies to a lot of parts in this chapter. Like, okay, the MC literally almost passing out due to heat exhaustion/ heat stroke?? A+ stubbornness, F- self preservation. I feel it though, especially in that situation, I wouldn't want to make anyone have to care for me. For sure not Kix, who has enough people to look after at that point.

The super close walking together??? The realization about MC and Obi-Wan??? Rex needs a drink, and so do I.

The next part that this gif would apply to, would be when Rex is INSISTING that this is what the clones, and he were made for. I know you saw my post the other day and I am sure you got a chuckle out of that one lol I know I would have. But, bringing it back to that point, the MC feeling physical grief because of that line is so real. I would want to throw up in that situation. They were made for war, that was literally the intention behind their creation, but they are not machines. They are humans who form connections, have needs, feel pain, and dream. It is physically heart-breaking to think about how short their lives are and they all think like this due to their conditioning. I think about this all the time, why do you ask? lmao.

Also, Anakin gave me a gotdamn heart attack. Why in TF are you hesitating dude???? Like, I know you want to win, and its a tough L to take, but take it now before you are forced to surrender. I wanted to throttle him through the com. You did amazing writing his character, because that was him and his pride coming out very loudly from this one. I applaud you for this part!!

This is the vibe I see between MC and Ahsoka and I am HERE for it. I love how she is being portrayed, and I just want to say...

*I couldnt find the actual gif I wanted here so its the second best one. I wanted the Kris Jenner one. You get the vibe.

Event Horizon

Chapter Eight: Loyalty

Chapter WC: 11,915

Chapter Tags/Warnings: background character death, brief description of wounds/blood

A/N: This is a long one! I had to make up for all the Rex we were missing before. Please enjoy the angst (my fav) and my attempt at writing battle scenes (my agony).

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Felucia, 21 BBY

"This is disgusting," you mutter, wiping the sweat from your forehead. It's a fruitless endeavor, the humidity unbearable. You're soaked to the bone, the mud caking your boots, the insects swarming around your face. You slap away a large winged bug and grimace when your palm meets a slimy substance.

"It's not that bad," Rex replies, his helmet under his arm. His hair is damp, skin shining, but he doesn't seem bothered by the weather, and you can't help but be a bit jealous. "I've seen worse."

You glare at him and wipe your hand on your tunic, the ichor smearing across the fabric. You'd forgone your usual white robes, the outfit too impractical for a planet like this, and instead opted for a set of beige, lightweight clothing. It was simple, a pair of pants, a tunic, and a matching hooded cape draped overtop your chest plate, but it allowed for more freedom of movement despite the way the moisture in the air made the fabric cling to your skin.

"Says the man in the full-body armor," you retort, gesturing at him with a dirty hand. "How are you not dying right now?"

He shrugs, the smile on his face a touch smug. "Guess I'm just built different, sir."

You roll your eyes, but the corners of your mouth lift into a smile. Despite the heat and the bugs and the general unpleasantness of Felucia, you've found yourself enjoying the company of the Captain. Rex is a capable soldier, and he's easy to work with, but it's his sense of humor and dry wit that have made the mission bearable. You've found yourself relying on his calm, collected demeanor and his quick thinking. He's a natural leader, and his men respect him, which makes your job a lot easier.

You trudge forward together at the front of the line, careful not to step into any of the large pools of standing water. The ground is squishy, the mud oozing beneath your boots, and you resist the urge to gag.

You're walking beside a stream, the water slow moving and murky. A few large, bulbous plants hang over the banks, the pods swaying slightly in the breeze, and the air smells earthy and sweet, a combination of rotting vegetation and fresh flowers. It would have been beautiful, had it not been for the stench of decay and the constant buzzing of insects. And the knowledge that, at any moment, something could pop out of the bushes and try to kill you, or worse, eat you.

"So, this is where the Separatists want to make their stand, huh?" you say, your voice low, and your eyes scanning the horizon. "They picked a real shitty spot."

Rex snorts, and the sound is loud and surprising. The sudden urge to laugh threatens to bubble up, and you bite your cheek, fighting to remain serious. You might be a little delirious, the heat and the humidity making it difficult to think straight, but Rex's reaction is too much.

A burst of laughter escapes your lips, and you cover your mouth, your shoulders shaking. Rex looks at you, his brow furrowed, but his expression is amused.

"They picked a good defensive position, sir," he corrects, the words a half-hearted reprimand. It loses its impact, however, as his own lips twitch upwards. "It's a tactical choice. This terrain makes it difficult to advance."

"You're right, I know," you manage between giggles, and you hold up a hand in apology. Your laughter tapers off, and you take a deep breath, wiping the tears from your eyes. "Sorry, it's the heat, I think."

Rex shakes his head, and his eyes twinkle. "I get it, sir. This place is...something else."

The two of you continue along the stream, and the troops fan out, keeping a safe distance behind you. You sigh and run a hand through your hair, pushing the sweat-soaked strands away from your face. It's been several days since you landed on Felucia, and you've been fighting the Separatists nonstop. The jungles are filled with traps and wildlife, and the enemy is well-equipped for the terrain. You've managed to secure a few key locations, but the fight is far from over.

Anakin and Obi-Wan have led the bulk of the assault, while you and Ahsoka have been assigned the task of clearing out the smaller outposts. You'd spent the morning in the thick of the battle, using the Force to aid the clones as they took out enemy droids. Now, you're on your way back to the rendezvous point, and the heat of the jungle is starting to get to you.

You feel as if you've been dipped in a vat of swamp water, and you can't shake the feeling of stickiness, the sensation both disgusting and unpleasant. You'd give your left arm for a cold shower, or at the very least, a fresh set of clothes.

You turn, and Rex is staring at you, a frown tugging at his lips. You must look a sight, the sweat pouring down your face, the mud splattered on your boots and trousers. It's far from your best, and you can't help but wonder what Rex is thinking, whether he finds you unappealing or repulsive.

The thought causes your stomach to twist, and you glance down, avoiding his gaze.

"We're almost there," Rex says, noticing the look on your face. He puts his helmet back on, the click echoing in the silence. "Just a little further."

"Thank the Force," you groan, and you can't stop the pout that forms on your face. "I'm beginning to think we should just let them have this stupid planet."

Rex chuckles, the sound distorted by the modulator, and he gestures at the trail ahead. "Just keep moving, sir."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," you mumble as you wipe more sweat from your eyes. "I'm going, I'm going."

The two of you move forward, your pace slow and measured. You're tired, the heat and the humidity sapping your strength, and the fatigue is beginning to catch up with you. You stumble, and Rex grabs your arm, his grip firm but gentle.

"Steady, sir," he murmurs, and he waits for you to regain your balance before releasing you.

You mumble an apology, and you take a deep breath, trying to shake off the tiredness, the ache in your muscles. You're not used to this, the physical exertion of war. The fighting is one thing, but the constant marching and camping and traveling are another. The heat, the humidity, and the lack of sleep are all taking their toll.

You've been running on adrenaline, and it's finally catching up with you.

"You're not looking so good, General," Kix says from behind you, his voice laced with concern. "Are you feeling alright?"

You try to hold back your long-suffering sigh, the urge to roll your eyes strong, but you manage to refrain and turn to face him, the effort almost too much. Kix helmet darts from you, to Rex, and back again, the worry evident in his posture.

As the medic, Kix's place was with the Captain, staying close to his side and monitoring the men. It was a responsibility he took seriously, and his care for his brothers was admirable. It made you trust him and respect him, but you were also incredibly sick of his constant vigilance. He had a tendency to hover, and you were starting to feel smothered. He reminded you a bit of a certain ginger-haired Jedi, and it was hard not to let it rankle you.

"I'm fine, Kix," you insist, trying to keep your temper in check. You give him a weak smile, the expression meant to be reassuring, but you know it's probably coming off more as a grimace.

"You've been sweating an awful lot," he observes, and his tone is suspicious, the words a bit accusatory. "You could be dehydrated."

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "It's a jungle, Kix. Everyone's sweating."

"You don't look like everyone, sir," he counters. His medical scanner is out before you can stop him, and he runs it over your body, the whirring noise grating. "You look flushed, and your pulse is elevated."

"Will you quit it," you hiss, slapping his hand away. You take a step back, putting some distance between the two of you as if it'll make your sudden irritation dissipate.

Kix stiffens at the rebuke, and his hand lowers to his side, the scanner still gripped tightly.

"I'm just trying to do my job, sir," he protests. "And right now, that job involves making sure you're okay."

"It's the adrenaline," you snap, and the words come out harsher than intended. You wince immediately, the guilt settling in. You'd been struggling with your temper, the anger simmering just beneath the surface, and you were doing your best not to take it out on the people around you, but sometimes, you slipped. "We need to keep moving, or else we'll be left behind."

"Kix is right," Rex interjects as he steps forward, his tone firm. "You look like you could use a break, sir."

"Captain," you warn, and you level him with a glare. "I am fine."

He folds his arms over his chest, and even though his face is hidden behind his helmet, you can tell by the way his body is angled towards you that he's not backing down.

You grit your teeth, the stubbornness setting in, and you square your shoulders, mirroring his posture. The two of you stand there for a moment, locked in a silent stare down, neither of you willing to budge. The rest of the troops continue marching past you, their bodies rigid and their footsteps heavy. They avoid looking at you, gazes focused straight ahead as if they can sense the tension between the two of you.

Rex is the first to speak, his voice quiet and measured. "You've been pushing yourself pretty hard, sir."

"You haven't seen me push myself," you scoff. "I'm only getting started."

"I'm just saying, maybe it wouldn't hurt to slow down."

"I'm not going to slow down," you argue. You plant your feet, the movement resolute, and the determination settles into your bones. You weren't about to let some hot-shot captain, no matter how handsome, or nice, or charming, tell you what to do, or how to act, or how to handle your own mission.

Rex, on the other hand, seems completely unperturbed by your show of defiance. His stance is relaxed, his shoulders loose, and he seems entirely unconcerned. He simply continues to stand there, arms crossed, and his helmet tilted ever-so-slightly to the side. It's an infuriating gesture, and you have to fight the urge to throw something at him, or, better yet, to push him into the stream.

You glare at him, and the silence stretches on, the seconds ticking by. With every step the troopers marching on the path take, your resolve wavers. You can feel yourself start to wobble, the tiredness getting the best of you.

You can't deny that, maybe, perhaps, Rex has a point. You've been pushing yourself hard, the guilt and the shame fueling your desire to prove yourself, and it's starting to wear on you. Still, you can't seem to bring yourself to admit that he's right, and the thought of slowing down, of admitting defeat, is just too much.

So, instead, you just keep glaring.

Kix's voice, when he speaks, is cautious. "General, if I may..."

"What," you snap, not bothering to look away from Rex.

"You're clearly dehydrated, and you could be suffering from heat stroke. Maybe the Captain is right. Maybe we should—"

You turn your glare on Kix, and the words die in his throat, his helmet dipping, and he takes a step back. You open your mouth, ready to give him a piece of your mind, but your vision is struggling to catch up to the sharp movement of your head, black spots clouding your eyes, and the words don't come.

The ground shifts, and your balance falters. You sway on the spot, your knees buckling, and you pitch forward.

"Sir!"

Rex moves with surprising speed, and his hands reach out, catching you by the waist. You feel the mud squelch beneath your feet, and then his arms are wrapped around your torso, holding you up. You blink a few times, trying to clear the fuzziness from your vision, and you feel another pair of hands grab your arms, helping steady you.

"I'm alright," you mutter. You shake your head, and the world comes into focus. Rex is still holding you, and Kix is standing beside him, his expression concerned. You can't help but blush, the embarrassment creeping up your neck, and you swallow hard, willing your heart to slow.

"Sorry," you say, your voice hoarse, and you wince at the sound of it. "I think I need a minute."

"Take as much time as you need," Rex replies, his voice soft, and he lets go of your waist. Kix takes hold of your arm, and he helps guide you off the trail and into the thick underbrush. Once out of view of the marching army, you settle against a tree trunk, the bark rough against your back. You lean your head back, and you shut your eyes, willing the world to stop spinning.

"I hate this place," you mutter bitterly. Your back slides against the trunk, and you end up sitting on the ground, your legs stretched out in front of you, and the mossy leaves squishing beneath your weight. You're grateful for the shade and the small breeze that rustles the canopy.

Your eyes open as Rex kneels beside you, his helmet tucked under his arm, and his gaze scan the trees. He looks back at you, his brow furrowed. "It is pretty disgusting."

"Understatement of the year," Kix quips. He pulls a canteen from his belt and hands it to you. "Drink this, sir."

You take the canteen and gulp down the liquid. The cool water soothes your throat, and you feel your strength returning, the weakness receding.

You hand the canteen back to Kix and manage a smile. "Thanks, I needed that."

"How are you feeling?" Kix asks, his tone clinical. He pulls a scanner from his belt and begins waving it over your body.

"Better," you reply with a tired sigh. You glance around, the jungle a blur of green and brown, and the realization sets in. You're supposed to be in the middle of a mission, not sitting in the bushes, wallowing in your misery. You look at Rex, and he gives you a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry. We're wasting time," you say, and you start to push yourself up. "We should get moving."

Rex places a hand on your shoulder, pushing you back down. "Not a chance, sir. You're going to rest until you're feeling better, and then, we'll move out."

"You sure? What if—"

"General, please," he interrupts, and the use of the title, and the pleading tone of his voice, causes your resistance to crumble. "You need to rest. Don't worry, we'll keep an eye out."

Your mouth opens and closes, and you realize he's right. There's no use arguing, or trying to change his mind. Rex is just as stubborn as you, and if he's set on helping you, then there's no way you're going to talk him out of it.

Finally, you sigh and nod, closing your eyes. Your muscles are sore, and the heat is draining, and it's a relief to get off your feet. The sounds of the jungle fades away, and all you can hear is the sound of your own breathing. You can feel the Force all around you, the life that exists within the plants and animals. It's a living, breathing entity, and you let yourself get lost in its rhythm, the connection between you and the world a strong, steady flow.

Meditation has always been a useful tool, but it's been harder since Yaddle, the anger and the self-loathing making it difficult to quiet your thoughts. Today, though, surrounded by nature and the bright, pulsing life all around you, the meditation comes easier, and you lose yourself in the peace, the darkness fading.

Time slips away from you, and you're not sure how long you sit there, basking in the light of the Force. It's only when a hand touches your shoulder that you snap out of your trance, and you leap to your feet, drawing your saber in one fluid motion.

You press the button, the yellow blade hissing to life, and the world comes rushing back, the sounds and the smells and the sights assaulting you.

Rex jumps, and he steps back, holding up his hands. "Woah, easy there, General."

"Shit," you mutter, and you lower your saber. The adrenaline ebbs away, and you take a deep breath, the tension leaving your body. "I'm so sorry, Rex. I didn't mean—"

"It's alright," he says as his hands fall, his voice hoarse. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that."

"No, I should've known better," you protest, feeling embarrassed. You deactivate your lightsaber and tuck it back into your belt, and you take a step closer to him, checking to make sure you haven't injured him.

There's a spot on his shoulder, the blue material slightly scorched, and you realize that the tip of your blade had come a little too close for comfort. You reach out instinctively and run your thumb over his pauldron, the armor still warm from the proximity to your weapon.

"Are you okay?"

His helmet tilts down, the visor following the movement of your hand, and he clears his throat, his voice sounding a little strange. "Yeah, I'm good, sir. Nothing a bit of paint won't fix."

You glance up at his face, the helmet still tilted towards you, and he shifts, his posture stiff. It's hard to tell if he's upset, but his body language reads as uncomfortable. "You sure?"

"I, uh, I'm fine," he replies, and he clears his throat again. His hand comes up, and he runs it along the back of his neck. He seems nervous, and you're about to ask him what's wrong when you realize you're still touching him, your fingers still running along the edge of his pauldron.

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and you snatch your hand back, clenching it into a fist at your side. "Right. Sorry. It was just, um, habit, I guess. Did you need something?"

Rex coughs, and he shakes his head. He's quick to respond, the words coming out rushed. "Uh, yes. Actually, I did. I was just coming to let you know that the rest of the men have gone ahead to the rendezvous point. They should be there any minute."

"Oh," you say, the realization dawning. The jungle is empty, and the only sounds are the rustling of leaves and the buzzing of insects. "Shit."

"You've been asleep for an hour, sir. We've been taking turns watching you."

Your mouth falls open, and the flush returns to your cheeks. "An hour? Seriously?"

"Yeah," Rex says, the amusement evident. "We weren't sure what else to do, so I let you rest. You seemed like you could use the sleep."

"I can't believe I fell asleep," you mutter, covering your face with your hands. "I'm sorry, Rex. I didn't mean to keep everyone waiting."

He shrugs, and his hand moves to your shoulder, squeezing it gently. "It's okay, sir. Don't worry about it."

You can feel his touch through your armor, the pressure sending a tingle down your spine. The solid weight of his palm is a welcome distraction, and you let yourself enjoy it, the feeling grounding.

"Are you feeling better?" he asks, his voice soft.

You nod, the answer coming without hesitation. "Much."

His hand lingers for a moment longer before he releases his grip. He drops his arm, and his helmet tilts, his gaze appraising. "Good. Come on, let's get you back to base."

"After you, Captain," you say, giving him a small bow. He chuckles, and the two of you walk side-by-side, his arm brushing against yours. The path ahead is worn down by the many boots and vehicles that have trod upon it, and it's surprisingly easy to find, the trees spaced far enough apart that it's possible to walk without tripping over roots and branches.

The humidity and the heat have subsided, and the temperature is pleasant, the sun low in the sky. You can hear birds, and frogs, and various other animals, the sounds loud and raucous, and the air smells sweet, the flowers filling the air with their fragrance. It's a nice change from the stench of decay that's permeated the day, and you find yourself enjoying the walk, the beauty of the jungle finally becoming apparent.

You glance at Rex, his head moving left and right as he scans the area. His shoulders are relaxed, his stride even, and he seems more at ease than he has been since you've arrived on the planet. The thought makes you smile, and you feel your own stress lightening.

"How's Ahsoka?" you ask, breaking the silence.

"She's doing well," Rex answers without turning. "A little hot, but she's handling it better than you."

"Togruta are built for this kind of climate," you say, a touch of defensiveness in your voice, and you're careful to avoid stepping on a large vine that's fallen across the path. "I can't help that my human body is weak and fragile."

"You're hardly fragile, sir," he teases, glancing over his shoulder. "I saw you punch a clanker on Geonosis."

You snort as the memory hits. "That was different. I was angry."

"And reckless," he adds. His tone is more amused than admonishing, and you know he's smirking at you from under his helmet.

"I thought I was brave," you counter, raising an eyebrow. "Isn't that what you said the other day?"

He chuckles, and he shakes his head, his gaze returning to the trail ahead. "I did."

You grin, a pleased feeling washing over you. From what you've gathered, Rex is a man who takes his duty and himself very seriously. You've seen him joke with the other clones, and there's a camaraderie between them that's obvious. But, there's a formality when he speaks to others, a sense of professionalism. It's clear that he respects the chain of command, and you can't help but feel flattered that he's comfortable enough around you to tease, and to speak more freely.

You're reminded of his words to you that day, when he refused to allow you to chase after Dooku in your misguided anger. He had seen the truth of the situation, and he had been willing to speak up. And you weren't sure how he'd managed to break through your stubbornness, but he had.

You're grateful for his honesty, and for his willingness to challenge you. It's refreshing, and it makes you like him all the more.

"What are you thinking about?" Rex asks, his gaze never leaving the jungle, and his hand rests on his blaster.

"Just thinking about Geonosis," you reply. "And how you told me off."

"I did not tell you off," he protests, his tone indignant. "I merely...advised against you acting rashly."

"You did," you retort with a laugh. "But, I'm glad you did. Otherwise, I might not be here right now. I never got a chance to thank you, and I want you to know how much it meant to me."

He shrugs, and his steps slow. "Any good soldier would've done the same."

"Still," you insist, shaking your head. "You saved my life. I owe you."

Rex stops, and he tugs his helmet off, the action so sudden, it startles you. He's staring at you, his expression intense, and his mouth is pressed into a firm line.

"You don't owe me anything," he replies, his brow furrowing. "That's not how this works."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're soldiers," he says, voice tight. "Our duty is to protect the Republic, and the citizens of the galaxy. We are sworn to serve, and that includes our Jedi. It's not about debts or favors or gratitude. It's about doing what's right and what needs to be done."

You fall silent, the weight of his words settling over you. It's a noble sentiment, and it's easy to see why he's risen so quickly through the ranks. You've always known that the clones were loyal, that they would die for the Jedi, for the Republic. But, it's the first time you've heard one of them explain it, and the intensity in his voice makes your heart clench.

It, for whatever reason, makes you feel uneasy. Not because you don't believe him, but because you're not sure if he understands. There's a difference between loyalty and blind obedience, and there's a part of you, deep down, that worries that maybe Rex doesn't know the difference. That maybe the Republic prefers it that way, that it's easier to have a slave than an ally.

You shake your head, dismissing the thought, the shame settling in. You're being paranoid, you know. Rex is a good man, and his loyalty is a gift. A gift that, perhaps, the Jedi have taken for granted.

"I'm sorry," you say, your voice quiet. "I didn't mean—"

"It's not your fault, sir," he says, cutting you off. "We were created for this. This is what we were made for."

The words are meant to be reassuring, but they have the opposite effect. Your stomach twists, and the unease grows, the guilt weighing heavy.

"Doesn't that bother you?" you ask, unable to stop the question from leaving your lips. "Being created for a single purpose?"

He looks at you, his head tilted slightly. His face is impassive, his expression blank, and it's impossible to read his thoughts. You hold his gaze, and you realize how little you really know about him, or the other clones. You've been so focused on yourself, on your own failures, that you've barely given any thought to the fact that there's an entire group of people fighting alongside you, fighting and dying, and all you've done is complain about the weather.

He shrugs, and his posture changes, his shoulders dropping slightly, and he runs a hand over his head. "Not really," he says, and he sighs. "It's all we know."

"But, it's not fair," you protest, shaking your head. "You're not just soldiers. You're people. You have thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams. And, yet, the galaxy expects you to put them all aside, to lay down your lives, for a cause you had no choice in joining."

Rex is silent for a moment, and his steps slow. He seems surprised by your words, his brow furrowed, and the corners of his mouth turn downward.

You realize you've said too much, and the guilt returns. You shouldn't have opened your mouth. You should have just kept your thoughts to yourself.

You try your best to push down the part of you that wants to continue, to say more. To tell him that the Republic is corrupt, that the Jedi are blind, that the galaxy is full of suffering and pain. That the war is a waste, that it will lead to nothing but destruction, and that he deserves better. But, you swallow the words, the anger and the frustration building, and you keep them locked inside.

The truth is, you don't know Rex, not really. And you don't have the right to tell him any of those things. No matter how much you might want to. No matter how much you feel.

Rex's face, however, shows none of these emotions. He's silent, the only sounds the buzzing of insects, and the rustling of leaves, and just when you're beginning to think he's not going to respond, his shoulders rise and fall.

"Well, I for one am grateful," he says, his voice soft, and he keeps his eyes trained straight ahead.

"What?" you ask, not expecting his answer. "Why?

His gaze flicks towards you, and the corner of his mouth twitches. "Because it brought me here."

"Here?" you echo, raising an eyebrow. "Felucia?"

"Yeah," he says, chuckling, and the tension melts away. He gestures to the surrounding jungle. "I mean, not exactly here. But, the idea. It's just...if the War hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here. None of us would. We'd just be sitting on Kamino, waiting for the day we're decommissioned. Or, maybe, we'd already be dead. Or never have existed in the first place. It's hard to say."

The words are spoken casually, as if they're a matter of fact, and the realization sets in. He's right. If not for the war, the clones wouldn't exist. They'd be just a handful of embryos, a dream, a plan.

But, the war gave them life. And, for many, it gave them death. The thought sends a chill down your spine, and you look at him, the understanding hitting.

"I see," you say, the words coming out quietly. "I suppose I've never thought of it that way."

"It's the only way I can think about it."

Rex's gaze moves back to the path, and you fall silent, his words echoing in your head. He's right, of course. There's no point dwelling on what could have been. The war is here, and there's no going back.

You can't help but admire his attitude, and his ability to find the positive. It's not the first time he's impressed you, and you realize that perhaps, he's the most optimistic person you've ever met. You wonder, briefly, if all clones are like that, or if it's something unique to him.

The two of you walk in silence, the conversation having run its course, and you sneak glances at him as you continue on, the curiosity getting the best of you. There's something about him that's magnetic, and the longer you're around him, the harder it is to look away.

He's handsome, and strong, and kind, and everything you're not. The thought makes your heart sink, and you're reminded once again of your shortcomings, of the darkness inside of you.

You wish, for the briefest of moments, that you were worthy of him, that you deserved his loyalty and his respect.

But, you know you don't.

You shake your head, the movement slight, and the dark thoughts vanish. It's useless. Wishing won't change anything.

Instead, you focus on the task at hand, the mission, and you try to clear your mind. You're almost back to the base, and the thought fills you with relief.

It's another few minutes before the two of you emerge from the thick foliage, and the camp comes into view. It's a large clearing, surrounded by towering trees, and the ground is a combination of dirt and grass. Several tents are being set up, and the sun is beginning to dip below the horizon. It's a welcome sight, and the anticipation of food, and sleep, and a chance to get out of your armor, is a tantalizing prospect.

You're halfway across the clearing, your eyes focused on the makeshift mess hall, when the air shifts, and the hair on the back of your neck stands on end. You come to a stop, and you reach out to grab Rex's arm, the feeling of foreboding overwhelming.

"Sir?" he asks, his voice low, and his body is tense, coiled.

You're about to answer, but you're cut off by a blaster bolt hitting the ground at your feet, the impact sending up a spray of dirt and rock.

You react on instinct, drawing your lightsabers, the blades glowing brightly, and you spin around. You're able to block the second shot, and the third, the energy of the bolts sizzling against the saber, and you step forward, your body moving into a defensive stance.

Rex is beside you, his blasters drawn, and the two of you move together, circling around, scanning the jungle for the source of the attack.

"Stay behind me," you tell him, the order sharp, and your gaze flicks over to him.

"Sir, you should stay behind me," he counters, his tone just as firm. "This is my job."

"Captain, I'm not going to let—"

"There!" one of the troopers shouts, pointing his finger at a group of trees.

The air is split by the sound of gunfire, the shots ripping through the underbrush, and the blaster bolts tear into the vegetation. Several of the branches fall to the ground, and the trunks are peppered with smoking holes. You can see the glint of metal bodies, and the flash of red, and you grit your teeth, the anger rising.

Droids.

It's an ambush.

The droids are closing in, the outlines barely visible through the thick, green leaves, and they're firing with a single-minded determination. Rex signals for the men to fire, and the clones begin returning the shots, their guns flashing. Several droids fall, but more appear. The battle is on, and you move to the edge of the clearing, intent on taking the fight to the enemy.

Rex is close behind you, his presence a comforting weight, and the two of you rush towards the tree line. The droids are scattered, the blaster bolts raining down on the area, and you raise your blades, ready to meet the enemy head-on.

Your first strike is a slash, the blow slicing through a super battle droid's midsection, the halves falling apart.

Rex is at your side, and his shots hit the next two droids, the metal bodies sparking and sizzling.

You take the next one, a swing cutting the machine's arm clean off, and the appendage flies through the air. You leap into the fray, the blades blurring as you move, relying on your muscle memory to keep you going as you scan the jungle. The droids are everywhere, and the clearing is filling with their bodies.

It's chaos.

You're surrounded, and it's all you can do to keep the shots from hitting the men, your sabers swinging, the light reflecting off the armor and the trees. You throw a boulder, the Force propelling it forward, and the impact crushes a group of the machines.

They keep coming, and the clearing is a whirlwind of activity. You can't see Rex through the mass, and you grit your teeth, the frustration building. You've barely begun, and already, the droids are getting the upper hand.

It's a losing battle, and you can't help but wonder if, maybe, there's another way.

A droid aims a blaster at your chest, and you deflect the shot, sending the bolt ricocheting before leaping into the air. You land behind it, your lightsaber severing its head.

The head hits the ground, and you glance up, seeing Rex's outline through the haze, the smoke from the blasters clouding the area. He's moving in your direction, and you move to meet him, your sabers a blur, the heat of the bolts making your skin prickle.

His head whips to the side before he suddenly grabs your arm and pulls you, his body twisting. You're about to protest, but the words die on your lips as an explosion rocks the ground where you were standing. Your ears are ringing, and you struggle to stay upright, the shockwave rippling through the clearing.

Rex looms over you, his blasters raised and his body shielding yours. You can't hear anything, but you can tell by the way his helmet is moving that he's speaking to you.

Your head is pounding, and your vision swims. You look up, blinking, and your eyes finally focus on the scene before you. The spot where you'd been standing is nothing but a smoking crater, the dirt and rocks scattered. The trees, too, have been shattered, their trunks broken, the leaves ripped apart.

You take a deep breath, and the sound comes rushing back. You can hear the shouts of the clones, the sound of blasters firing, and the explosions of grenades. It's all so loud, the noise deafening, and you want nothing more than to curl up in a ball and wait for it to be over.

Instead, you stagger to your feet, your body aching. Rex grabs onto your arm, helping steady you. He says something, his voice muffled, and you shake your head, trying to clear it.

"What?" you shout, trying to be heard over the cacophony.

He leans closer, his grip tightening. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," you lie, pushing yourself away from him, and you take another breath, the dizziness subsiding. You give him a weak smile. "That's two I owe you, Captain."

He shakes his head, and the helmet tilts, the motion conveying the exasperation. "You can repay me by not getting yourself blown up, sir."

You roll your eyes, but you can't help the smile that spreads across your face. "I'll do my best."

Another blast hits the ground a few feet away, and the two of you jump back, the dirt and rocks flying. The droids are still advancing, their numbers seemingly endless, and you realize that the clones are losing ground.

"We have to get out of here," Rex shouts, the panic obvious. "This is a losing battle."

You glance around, trying to see a way out. The clearing is a battlefield, the bodies of droids and clones littering the ground. It's a bloodbath, and the men are outnumbered. There's no hope of winning, and it's only a matter of time before they're overrun.

You can feel the weight of the decision pressing down on you. It's not the first time you've faced such a dilemma, but it never gets easier. The will to keep fighting, to give everything you have, to protect the people you love.

And yet, there's another part of you that knows when to retreat, when the cost is too great. It's a part of you that you're ashamed of, a part that you try to bury. But right now, with Rex at your side, and his brothers' lives in danger, it's hard to ignore.

You look at him, and his gaze meets yours. You find yourself wishing you could see his eyes, and the expression on his face. To know what he's thinking, and what he's feeling.

He seems to sense the question, and he gives a slight nod, the gesture conveying the understanding. He's with you, and whatever choice you make, he'll support you.

The knowledge helps. And it strengthens your resolve.

"Alright," you say, grimacing, and your hand lifts as you activate your comm. The static crackles in your ear, a deafening roar, and you're not sure if anyone will hear. "Anakin, can you hear me?"

The line is silent, and for a moment, you fear the worst. Then, a voice, garbled and distorted, cuts through the noise.

"Goldie, what the hell is going on?"

Relief floods you, and you press the button, the sound of the battle still raging around you. You press your back against the tree, using it as cover, and Rex does the same a few feet away.

"We have to retreat," you shout, your words almost drowned out by a barrage of blaster bolts. "There are too many droids."

Anakin is quiet for a moment, and the sounds of the battlefield echo through the comm. You hear his saber slice through something, and he yells a command, the order almost indistinguishable.

"We can't," he says, his breathing labored. "We have to stand our ground."

You watch Rex, and the helmet turns, his body still tense. He's focused on the fight, but you can feel his anger, and his frustration, and his desire to protect his brothers. It's palpable, and the emotions feed yours, twisting, and pulling, and growing.

You swallow, the lump in your throat making it difficult to speak. "Anakin, we're getting slaughtered out here. We have to pull back, regroup, and try again later."

"Not an option, Goldie. We can't afford to lose this base," he counters, his tone firm. "If we lose the base, we could lose the planet."

Rex ducks from cover, firing, and a droid falls, its limbs jerking as the sparks fly. He's back in position in seconds, his helmet turning, searching for another target.

The droids are advancing, and they're beginning to surround you, their metal bodies crowding the tree line. The clones are starting to fall back, and the gap between the two forces is narrowing.

It's getting dangerous, and it's only a matter of time before the battle will be completely lost.

"Anakin, listen to me," you say, your voice low. "We have to leave. If we stay here, we're going to lose more than the base. We're going to lose the entire battalion."

The words seem to echo in the air, and the tension in the clearing is so thick, you can feel it. You take a deep breath and reach out, trying to center yourself. The Force around you is in chaos, but you can feel Rex, his presence steady and strong. You cling to it, to him, and it's the only thing that keeps you from spiraling into panic.

Anakin doesn't respond right away, and the silence drags on. More and more clones are falling back, passing you and heading towards the safety of the jungle. You see Kix dragging an injured trooper, the man's leg a bloody mess, and you wince.

You wait for Anakin's response, knowing the decision is his. You've given your advice, and you trust him to make the right choice. You always have, and you always will.

But, right now, in the heat of the battle, it's hard to have faith.

"Fine," he huffs at last, and his voice sounds strained. "Pull back, but we're coming back with a plan to take this damn base."

You breathe a sigh of relief, the weight of the decision lifted from your shoulders. "Copy that. We'll rendezvous at the secondary camp."

You end the transmission, and Rex glances at you, his helmet tilted.

"The general is calling a retreat," you explain, and his shoulders relax slightly. "We need to get to the secondary camp, and then, we can regroup."

"Yes, sir," he says with a nod. He raises his hand, signaling to the clones, and his voice echoes in the clearing, the sound carrying over the chaos. "Fall back! Fall back!"

You watch the troops obey, the men retreating into the jungle, their bodies disappearing into the foliage. It'll be miles before you reach Obi-Wan's camp, and the walk will be a long one.

You look at Rex, and the two of you share a brief moment of eye contact before he's moving, and the two of you fall into step beside each other, running alongside the others. The droids follow, the battle raging, and the forest is filled with the sounds of gunfire, and screams, and the hum of the blasters.

The sun has set, and the air is cooler, the night sky a dark purple barely visible through the canopy. You keep running, the exhaustion beginning to set in, and the ache in your muscles making each step a struggle. The path ahead is littered with obstacles, the fallen trees and rocks, and the thick underbrush making the going difficult. You can hear the footsteps of the clones, the rattling of their armor, and you try not to think about how many might be injured, or worse.

You try not to think about what might have happened if you'd stayed, or how many more would have died if you hadn't made the decision to retreat.

The guilt is a constant, weighing heavier on you with every step. The battle had been a loss, but you couldn't shake the feeling that the retreat had been a mistake. That you should have pushed harder, or come up with another plan. It's a feeling you've had before, and it never gets easier.

The pain in your head grows the longer you run, the headache becoming a dull throb, and the pressure builds, the darkness threatening to take over. It's a familiar sensation, and you try to block it out, focusing on the path ahead and on keeping up with the pace.

The minutes drag on, and the air becomes more humid, the scent of rain filling your nose. The droids are still pursuing, and you can see the flashes of their lights as they move through the trees. But, they’re getting farther and farther away, the gap between the two sides widening.

The wave of relief is tempered with the exhaustion that finally catches up with you, and you have to slow down, your breathing heavy. You stumble, and Rex reaches out, his arm steadying you.

"Sir, are you sure you're okay?" he asks, his voice low with concern, and the helmet tilts as he studies you. "You took a pretty bad hit."

"You don't have to babysit me, Rex," you retort. The words coming out more sharply than intended, and Rex immediately drops his hold on your arm.

"I'm not babysitting you, sir," he says stiffly. "I'm just concerned. It's my duty to make sure you're safe."

You roll your eyes, the frustration rising, and the anger bubbles to the surface. It's been a long day, and the last thing you want is to be coddled. Especially not by Rex, especially not when all he's doing is making you feel like a failure and a liability.

"I'm fine," you insist, a bit harsher than necessary, and you start moving again, intent on leaving him behind, the urge to put distance between the two of you growing. "I can take care of myself."

He falls into step beside you, his steps quickening to match yours.

"I'm well aware, sir," he says. The exasperation in his voice is clear even through the modulation of his helmet, and you can't help but wince. You're being unfair, and you know it. But, you can't stop the feelings from building. "But, I would appreciate it if you would allow me to do my job. And, my job is to protect you."

"And, my job is to protect you," you bite out through clenched teeth. "All of you."

You shake your head, and the guilt settles in, the regret mixing with the anger, and the resentment, and the self-loathing. It's a potent combination, and it makes your stomach twist, the nausea growing.

Rex doesn’t respond, the two of you walking side by side in tense silence. It's unbearable, and you know it's your fault. You're the one who started it, after all. You're the one who keeps picking fights and pushing people away.

But, you can't help it. You're not built for this. For the war, and the battles, and the responsibility. You were never supposed to be here, and the more time you spend on the front lines, the more you realize how unprepared you are, how out of place.

It's a harsh reality, and it makes the anger burn brighter.

It's not fair, and it's not right, and it's not what you want.

And, yet, here you are, leading a battalion and fighting a war. And, no matter how hard you try, you can't seem to get it right. You can't seem to keep them safe, or stop the fighting, or end the war. You can't seem to make a difference, no matter how hard you try.

You can't seem to do anything.

"With all due respect, sir," Rex starts, breaking the silence. His voice is soft, and he sounds almost...defeated. "It's not the same."

You stop, your gaze shifting towards him, and he slows, coming to a halt beside you. The clones keep moving, and the group is beginning to stretch out, the men spreading out along the trail.

You look at him, and he meets your gaze, his posture tense.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, there's a difference," he says, voice deliberate and measured. "We were made for this, to fight and die. You weren't. And, we don't expect you to. We know you're doing your best."

The words hit harder than expected, and the breath leaves your lungs, the realization sinking in. It's not the first time you've heard it, and the clones have said it often. But, somehow, coming from him, it seems to carry more weight. You don’t like it. Not the words, not the sentiment, and not the way it makes you feel.

You shake your head. "I'm a Jedi," you argue. "This is my job, just as much as it is yours."

"No, sir," he counters, his tone firm, and the certainty is unmistakable. "Your job is to lead, to guide us, and to protect the Republic. Our job is to fight, and die, if necessary. We're expendable, you're not."

The words sting, and you can't help the flinch, the emotions threatening to overwhelm. It's too much, and the tears sting your eyes. You take a deep breath, trying to swallow the feelings down.

"That's not true," you say, shaking your head. "You're not expendable. You're valuable, and important, and you deserve to be protected."

Rex sighs, the sound crackling through his modulator, and for a moment, he just stares, the gaze impossible to read. He's silent, and the only sounds are the footsteps of the clones, the rustling of the leaves, the distant sounds of the battle, the echoes of explosions reaching your ears.

He reaches up and slowly pulls off his helmet, and his eyes lock with yours. The moonlight shines off his face, highlighting his cheekbones, and the curve of his jaw. He looks tired, the bags under his eyes more prominent, and the worry is etched into his features underneath the dirt and the sweat.

It hurts to look at him. To see the concern, and the understanding, and the care in his expression. It makes the guilt and the shame that much worse.

"I know you believe that, sir," he says, and his voice is quiet and gentle. "But, the truth is, we're soldiers. This is what we were bred for. What we were created for. And, if we die, we'll have fulfilled our purpose. We'll have served the Republic, and the Jedi. That's enough."

The words are said with a finality, and you understand without a doubt that he believes them, every single one. That, in some strange way, he's happy with the path he's on.

You shake your head, unable to wrap your mind around it. Unable to accept it. "Rex—"

"General," he says, cutting you off. He moves closer, his hands clenching around the helmet in his grip. "Listen, the last thing I want is to make this about me. But, I need you to understand, this is how we see it. How we feel. And, I don't think you can lead us if you don't recognize that."

His gaze is intense, and his eyes search yours, looking for something. What, you're not sure. But, it's clear that he's not going to back down, and that he's not going to change his mind.

You swallow as the realization sets in. The truth is, you do know in a way, perhaps more than either of you realize. You've known since the moment the Jedi found you, since the moment you were brought into their fold. That, to the galaxy, and the Force, and the universe, you were always a tool, a means to an end. That your life was not your own, not really.

And, that, one day, you would die, and it would all be for nothing.

"Why?" you ask, the question slipping out before you can stop it.

"Because, it's the truth," he says, and the response is so honest, and so open, it makes your chest ache.

"No, I mean, why are you so okay with it?" you ask, shaking your head. "Why aren't you angry, or frustrated? Why aren't you fighting it?"

His lips press together, the frown pulling at the corner, and he looks away, his eyes focused on the path ahead. He runs a hand over his head and down the back of neck, the action seemingly unconscious.

He's silent for a long moment, and you wait, the anticipation growing inside you.

Finally, he sighs, his shoulders sagging, and he glances at you.

"Because, I was made for this," he says, his voice soft. "This is what I was created for. And, I know I'll never be able to do more than this."

His words are like a punch to the gut, and you can't hide the hurt in your eyes. The look on your face seems to make him realize the impact of his words, and Rex quickly averts his gaze, his expression contrite.

He turns, and the two of you continue walking, the silence settling over the two of you, the awkwardness growing.

You're not sure why his words bother you so much, but they do. You've always known that the clones were designed for war, that their sole purpose was to serve the Republic. But you've been bothered by it since the day they arrived, beacons of hope and fear and everything in between. Since the first time you saw Rex, a sense of dread washed over you, and a pit formed in your stomach. It's a feeling that's only gotten worse as time went on, and every day brings new horrors.

The more time you spend with them, the more human they seem. And the thought of their lives being taken for something so meaningless makes you want to scream.

You've never been able to understand how the Council could condone the use of the clones, or how the Jedi could turn a blind eye. It goes against everything you were taught, everything you believe. And, it's a constant reminder of the corruption and hypocrisy of the Order.

The thought makes the anger rise, the resentment bubbling to the surface.

"It's not right," you mutter, and the words are more to yourself than to him. "It's not fair."

Rex looks at you, his gaze meeting yours. His eyes are dark, and they're filled with something. Something you can't quite name, something that makes your chest tighten and your heart beat faster. He doesn't ask, and he doesn't have to. He knows.

"That's just the way it is, sir," he says, his voice steady. "This is our place, and we have to make the best of it."

The words are heavy, and they land with a finality that resonates. He's accepted his role, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill it. No matter the cost, no matter the pain.

You wish you could be that selfless, that determined. You wish you could be like him, and Anakin, and Obi-Wan. They all have a strength that you'll never understand, a sense of duty and honor and courage that you can only dream of.

You wish you could have a fraction of their conviction, their dedication. But, you're not like them. You've never been like them. And, you doubt you'll ever be.

You're not sure what to say, so you don't say anything. Rex secures his helmet back on and moves ahead of you, taking point, his pace brisk, the armor glinting in the moonlight. You're left alone, and you're grateful for the reprieve.

You're not sure how to deal with your feelings, with your frustration. You feel helpless, and there's a part of you that wants to grab Rex by the shoulders and shake him until he sees the truth, until he understands.

But, you know that won't work. You know that, in the end, the only person who can change his mind is him. And, even then, you're not sure it would make a difference.

You walk, and the night passes slowly, the exhaustion seeping into your bones. Your body aches, and your head is pounding, the pain making each step a struggle. The battle, and the argument, and the journey have drained you, and the emotional toll is just as bad.

You try to reach out through the Force, to draw on its power, and it comes slowly, the energy flowing through you, and around you. But the presence of so much death and destruction is disorienting, and the pressure builds, the headache becoming a steady, throbbing pain. You need to find Obi-Wan, and soon. Otherwise, you're afraid you might snap.

You can't help but wonder if that's what the Council intended, when they assigned you to the front lines. To push you until you break, and then, send you back to the Temple, a lesson learned. Or, maybe, they don't care at all. They've washed their hands of you, and now, they're content to watch you fail.

The thought sends a chill down your spine, and the anger simmers, the resentment building. You're not sure what the truth is, but the possibilities are terrifying.

The base camp is quiet when you arrive, the men hunkered down and waiting for the next wave of attacks. You can feel their fear, their anxiety, and it makes your chest ache. There's nothing worse than the waiting, the not knowing. It's a different kind of battle, one that's just as dangerous, and just as painful.

You make your way to the command tent, the flap open and the light spilling out onto the ground. Ahsoka and Anakin are already there, looking over a holo-map, and their heads snap up as you enter, their gazes locking onto yours.

The tension in the air is palpable, and their faces are drawn, the exhaustion written on their features. They've both been through a lot today, and you can feel the weight of it pressing down on them.

You give them a small smile, and Anakin nods, his posture relaxing, if only slightly. His eyes shift behind you, and the concern returns, the worry etched into his face. You turn, following his gaze, and your eyes lock with Rex's.

He's standing in the entrance, his helmet in his hand, and his eyes are narrowed. The worry, and the anger, are clear, and it's obvious to you that he's still upset.

You turn back, the guilt too much to deal with, and you try to rub the tiredness from your eyes. As you move to stand beside Anakin, you can't help but notice the way Ahsoka's eyes flick from you, to Rex, and back again.

She frowns, and she glances at her master, the silent question in her eyes. He doesn't respond, his focus on the map, and she sighs.

"Are you alright?" she asks you, her voice low.

"Yeah, I'm fine," you reply, and you try to give her a reassuring smile, but you're not sure it's very convincing. "Just a little tired, that's all."

"It's been a long day," she agrees, and her eyes linger on the bruise on your face, the blood dried and flaking. "You should get that checked out."

You shake your head. "I'll be fine. It's just a bruise."

She gives you a look, her eyebrows raising, and she opens her mouth to protest, but Rex beats her to it, his voice cutting her off.

"I agree, sir," he says, moving closer. The armored plates of his thighs hit the edge of the holotable, his movements stiff, and you wince at the sound. "You should get it checked out."

The three of you look at him in surprise. He's been quiet since you arrived, but now, he's standing firm, his eyes narrowed, his jaw clenched. He's not backing down, and the frustration is radiating from him, his anger almost tangible.

Anakin's eyebrows raise, and his lips twitch in amusement. "I see Rex has been acquainted with your infamous stubbornness, Goldie."

You roll your eyes. "I'm not that stubborn."

Rex makes a noise that sounds suspiciously like a scoff, and you shoot him a glare.

"I'm not," you insist, crossing your arms. "Besides, there are more important things to worry about. We need to discuss our next move."

"Agreed," Obi-Wan's voice echoes from the tent opening. He enters with Cody close behind, his face drawn. "We have to come up with a plan, and fast. We're losing ground, and we can't afford to lose this planet."

His eyes drift over you, his gaze lingering on the bruise, and he frowns. "I see you've gotten yourself injured again."

The accusation is clear, and the anger flares, hot and bright. You bite back a retort, not wanting to start another argument, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. Obi-Wan must feel it, because he sighs, and the annoyance leaves his face, his eyes softening with understanding.

"Come here, my dear," he says, gesturing as he steps up to you. "Let me take a look at it."

You hesitate, the embarrassment making the blush spread across your face. But, after a moment, you move forward, and his fingers lightly trace the bruise. You can't help but wince as he presses on the swollen skin, and his brow furrows.

"It's not serious," Obi-Wan says, his tone thoughtful. "But, you should be careful. Head wounds can be tricky."

"Thank you, Master," you say, the sarcasm evident, and he smirks. His hand lingers for a moment longer, and then, he drops it, stepping away.

"Now," he continues, moving towards the table. "We need to come up with a strategy, and quickly. There's no telling when the Separatists will make their next move, and we can't afford to be caught off guard."

You nod as you take your place, and the others follow suit, gathering around the holo-map. Through the blue projection of the battlefield, you can see the battle is still raging, the droids advancing, and the clones' position shrinking.

Your gaze shifts, and your eyes lock with Rex's, startled to find him already watching. His lips are pressed together, his jaw clenched, and his eyes are intense, the brown irises darker than usual. He looks away, his gaze turning back to the holo-map, and the feeling in your stomach grows.

You turn your attention back to the meeting, trying to focus, but it's difficult, your mind elsewhere.

You don't want to think about the fact that Rex cares, that his concern, and his anger, and his frustration are directed towards you. You don't want to think about what that means, or how it makes you feel. You can't, not when you're trying to keep everyone alive, not when you're trying to figure out a way to win the war.

You take a deep breath, steeling yourself, and you look at the holo-map, determined to focus.

"How long before we can get reinforcements?" Anakin asks Obi-Wan. "We can't hold this position without help."

"The Council is sending additional troops, but it will take time," Obi-Wan says, a note of defeat in his voice. "We'll have to manage the situation ourselves, at least for the time being."

"So, what do we do?" Ahsoka asks as she looks around the table.

Obi-Wan shakes his head, his expression grim. "We fight. Hopefully, we can hold the line until reinforcements arrive."

"And if we can't?"

Your question hangs in the air, the unspoken truth hanging heavy between the six of you. If the Republic doesn't send help, or if the battle goes badly, there will be nothing stopping the Separatists from taking the planet.

It's not something any of you want, but the reality is harsh, and it's a possibility none of you can afford to ignore.

"Let's just focus on getting through the next few hours," Anakin says, his voice firm. "We can deal with the rest later."

The determination in his eyes, the unwavering resolve, is a familiar look, and one that you've seen many times. It's the same look he's had every time you've needed him, the same look he's had since he was just a youngling, always ready to help, to protect, to fight.

He's never backed down from a challenge, and he's not about to start now.

You take a deep breath, drawing on his strength, and you feel a small bit of relief.

"Alright," you say, nodding. "Let's get to work."

You spend the next few hours poring over the maps, planning your defenses, and trying to come up with a strategy. The reality is, there's only so much you can do, and the odds are not in your favor. But, you have to try, and you have to hope, and you have to have faith that the Republic will send help, and that the reinforcements will arrive before the Separatists destroy everything.

Finally, the meeting is over, and the six of you head back out into the camp. It's dark and quiet, and the air is heavy with smoke. The men are huddled around small fires, their faces illuminated by the flickering flames, and they're exhausted, their postures slumped, their expressions grim. There's a somberness in the air, and the knowledge that the battle is far from over.

You walk through the camp, offering encouraging words where you can, and trying to reassure the men, even as the doubt and fear continue to grow. You stop and check on the injured, offering what comfort you can, and you take the time to speak to the medics, ensuring they have what they need.

It's not much, but it's all you can do, and you're grateful for the opportunity to connect with the clones, even for a moment. On your way out, Kix presses a bacta patch into your hands, his eyes narrow in disapproval.

"You need to take care of yourself, sir," he says, voice firm. "No one else is going to do it."

You roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. "I will. Promise."

He's not satisfied, but he doesn't argue, and you continue on, your feet carrying you through the camp. You wander, the exhaustion making your movements slow, and the ache in your muscles growing.

Your steps eventually bring you to the edge of the jungle, and you stand, your eyes sweeping over the landscape, the view breathtaking. The moonlight reflects off the trees, the canopy lit up, the colors vibrant. The scent of the forest fills the air, the smell of earth and life and nature mixing with the smoke, the acrid stench of death.

You can't get Rex's words out of your head, his voice echoing in your ears, the memory playing over and over again. You know he's right, and that the clones are different, and that their lives are more expendable than yours, but it doesn't make it any easier. It doesn't change the fact that, in the end, you're all fighting and dying for a Republic that doesn't care about any of you, a system that's broken, and corrupt, and flawed.

You let out a frustrated breath, the anger simmering, and you look up at the sky, the stars glittering. You don't get to see the stars on Coruscant, not with the light pollution, and it's a sight you'll never get used to.

"I can feel your anger," a voice says, and you glance to your left, surprised to find Ahsoka standing beside you. Her eyes are narrowed, and her arms are crossed over her chest. "You're upset."

"I'm sorry." You look away, turning back to the view, the guilt settling in. "I'm just frustrated. It's nothing."

She moves closer, and she's quiet for a moment, her eyes studying you. "About the battle?"

You sigh, shaking your head. "About the whole damn war."

She hums, her expression thoughtful.

"Me too," she admits, and her gaze shifts, her eyes finding the stars. "There's so much, and sometimes, it feels like there's no end in sight."

"It's like no matter what we do, it's not enough," you say, your voice quiet. "The fighting, the death, the sacrifices...it's not changing anything."

Ahsoka is silent, her gaze focused on the night sky, and you can feel her uncertainty, her emotions swirling. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep yourself from saying more, to keep from pouring out all your doubts and fears and frustrations. She's younger than you, and she's struggling, just as much as the rest of you, and the last thing she needs is you putting even more pressure on her.

But, before you can apologize, and try to distract her, she speaks.

"We must do the hard work of mastering our fear, so that in turn does not master us," Ahsoka says. She pauses, the words weighing heavily. "Master Yoda taught us that. I never understood, not until recently."

"Yeah," you say, and the sadness hits, the realization settling in. "Me too."

She turns, her eyes finding yours, and her expression is solemn. "We have to stay positive. We have to believe that there's a way out of this, that we'll find a solution. Otherwise, the anger, and the hate, and the despair...they'll consume us, and we'll never be able to come back from that."

The tears well, and you nod, your throat tight. For a moment, you don't trust yourself to speak, and the silence stretches between the two of you. Ahsoka seems to understand, and she turns back to the view, giving you the time you need to collect yourself.

You look up at the stars, the sky bright and the stars glinting, and, for a moment, you can almost believe.

"We will find a way," you say with a conviction you don't feel, and you give her a small smile. "We have to."

She nods, and her lips curve upward. "Yes, we will."

"Has anyone ever told you you're wise beyond your years?" you tease.

She rolls her eyes, and her smile grows, the amusement lighting up her face. "Not as much as they should."

You can't help the laugh, the sound bubbling out of you, and the tension leaves your body. She grins, her expression mischievous, and she nudges you playfully with her elbow.

"You know, if you ever want to talk, I'm here. We can...hang out, or whatever."

The invitation is unexpected, and the surprise must be written on your face, because she quickly adds, "I mean, if you want."

The happiness flooding your chest catches you off-guard, and it takes you a moment before you can find your words.

"I would like that," you say, and she returns the smile, her relief palpable. "How are you at Sabacc?"

She raises her eyebrows, interest sparking in her eyes. "Pretty good. Why?"

You grin. "I have a deck in my tent."

"Are you challenging me, Master?" she asks with a smirk.

"Only if you're brave enough, Padawan," you say, and her smile widens.

"Okay, bring it."

You laugh, and the two of you turn, heading towards the tents. As you walk, Ahsoka starts talking, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you, and you find yourself relaxing, the anxiety easing with every step. It's a rare occurrence, these moments of levity, and you're grateful for the chance to be happy, if only for a little while.

You'll need it, if you're going to survive what's to come.

taglist: @baddest-batchers @lolwey @chocolatewastelandtriumph @hobbititties @mere-bear

@thegreatpipster @lordofthenerds97 @tentakelspektakel @notslaybabes @aynavaano

@ayyyy-le-simp @mali-777 @schrodingersraven @megmegalodondon @dangraccoon

@heavenseed76 @dreamie411 @sukithebean @bimboshaggy @bunny7567

@lostqueenofegypt @9902sgirl @jedi-dreea @salaminus @heidnspeak

@ghostymarni @gottalovehistory @mrcaptainrex @burningnerdchild @yoitsjay

@callsign-denmark @julli-bee @moonychicky

#the clone wars #captain rex #captain rex x reader #rex x reader #obi wan x reader #Event Horizon: A Star Wars Story #I really want what I posted to be in the book #I mean I understand that it probably wont #but like all of the feelings would happen for me fr #This is what I was made for while making eye contact #I would pass away

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leslie057 · 2 years ago

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#no he does not

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jade-04 · 3 years ago

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Dove (Part 9)

Eddie Munson x fem!Henderson!reader and Steve Harrington x fem!Henderson!reader

first part | part 8

Summary: Dustin Henderson’s older sister finds herself in a predicament having to choose between Steve “the Hair” Harrington and Eddie “the Freak” Munson

a/n: i’m pretty sure this is the last part, im gonna pretend like im not sad that it’s ending, but theres probably gonna be like a “homecoming and y’/n and Eddies life together” part knowing me. Also the gif I chose, once again has nothing to do with the chapter, I think this is just how Eddie looks at y/n

Warnings: cussing, mention of a deceased parent, this is just pure fluff

taglist: @happiejoon @simonsbluee @nervouslaught3r @7minutes-tomidnight @sl-tfor-joseph-quinn @witheringawayagain @kik51199

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You were still feeling a little shaken, but the heart to heart with Dustin was much needed and it really helped you to figure out where your mind was at. You loved Steve, but you couldnt see him as much more than a friend and you couldnt stand the fact that you knew that would hurt him, it could even possibly lead to the possibility of you losing him. Eddie made you so happy, even Dustin said that he hadn’t seen you this happy since before your dad died. You had only been dating him for a week, but he came to your rescue when you needed it most and knew where to take you and what to do and that meant a lot. When you left Dustins room you had noticed Eddie was leaning against the kitchen island, staring off into the living room with a stressed look on his face. You walked over to him and wrapped him into a hug before he could say anything. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, Eds. I just felt so lost.” You squeezed your eyes shut, to keep you from crying again. “When Steve kissed me then told me he liked me, it scared me. I was scared about what to do because he’s one of my only friends. I couldnt stand losing another person, so I did what I do best. I shut down.”

“Its okay, love.” Eddie ran a hand through your hair. “I just wanted you to be okay. Yea, I was pissed at Harrington, but I cant blame him for fallin’ for ya. You’re the best girl in Hawkins.” He could feel you smile against him.

“I thought it was going to end up being a choice between you and him, but I’m so glad it wasn’t. He could still be my friend and obviously, I’ll still have you. Only if you want me though?” You leaned back from the hug to look him in the eyes.

“Of course I will. I want to be able to be there for you when this happens. You’re not losing me anytime soon.” He gave you a quick chaste kiss.

Dustin came out of his room a bit after you knowing you would want to be alone with Eddie for a bit just to talk to him about how you feel and what happened. He was happy to see you and Eddie just sitting there enjoying the company of eachother. He knew he was the right guy for you, there was no denying it. The moment was interrupted when the phone rang.

“I’ve got it.” Dustin said walking over to pick up the phone. When he answered, there was a mix of two voices arguing like they hadnt noticed that someone was speaking. “Henderson residence, this is Dustin.”

“Dustin, thank God.” Robin said into the phone. “Look, Steve here fucked up big time.”

“I’m quite aware.” Dustin interrupted before letting Robin finish.

“Okay okay, Henderson. I need to apologize to her and I dont know how.” This time it was Steve speaking into the phone. “I figured you’re her brother, you would know what to do.”

“Uhhh…” Dustin looked back at you, covering the receiver with his hand. “Hey, (y/n)? What kind of flowers do girls like?”

“Personally, I like daisies, but a lot of girls like roses. Why?” You quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Oh…uh, Lucas wants to get something for Max.” He nodded before turning back to the phone.

“Still there little man?” Steve asked.

“Yea, yea I’m here. Give her daisies or roses, I recommend daisies, thats what my sister likes.” Dustin then moved to put his hand over his mouth to whisper into the receiver. “Bring them to the gig tomorrow. It’s at the bar near Lover’s Lake.”

“Okay, I’ll be there. Do you want me to bring you?” Steve asked.

“Yup, I’m gonna hang up now. Bye.” Dustin hung up the phone, pleased with the fact that both of the men he looked up to could still be civil with his sister, but could they be civil with eachother?

-------------------------------

Saturday night came fast, you were anxious for your first performance. Eddie tried to convince you to just sit this one out after everything that happened yesterday, but you weren’t going to let the hard work of the band not pay off. You also were extremely excited to perform, especially because you were going to be performing with your boyfriend. Even on the ride to the bar Eddie would not let up on checkin in to make sure you were okay.

“Are you sure, (y/n)? I can turn the car around right now.” He would ask every few minutes just to hear you reply with the same thing over and over again.

“Yes, Eds. I’m fine, I will be fine.”

He asked one last time as he pulled into a parking spot by the back entrance of the building. You replied with the same answer you had been giving him for the past 20 minutes and he got out to open your door. You both walked into the bar, Eddie’s arm around your waist. You noticed the rest of the band was already there and they were pretty much set up. You decided to head to the bathroom to make sure you looked okay, but also just to have a minute of alone time before getting out on the stage. It was colder in the bathroom than it was in the bar, which helped to ground you a bit. You walked in front of the mirror to make sure you outfit looked as good to you as it did when you left the house. Luckily, you still liked the outfit. You decided to wear that lacy top you wore to auditions with a red leather skirt and some ripped tights, your boots tying the look all together. You felt like Joan Jett, a definite confidence booster since you were nervous about this whole night. Taking a deep breath, you looked in the mirror one last time before walking on.

The plan for the performance tonight, was for Eddie to introduce you as the new lead singer before singing the first song. You waited in the wings anxiously as the bar owner introduced Corroded Coffin, but you were instantly soothed at the sound of Eddie’s voice.

“How we doin’ out there tonight?” Eddie said, getting a few whoops and cheers in reply. “So, before we start, I want to introduce everyone to our newest, and most beautiful, band member…(y/n) Henderson.” Eddie motioned to you at the side of the stage, singalong for you to walk out. The walk onto stage was nerve-racking, but when you looked out into the crowd, you realized this was definitely something you could get used to. The cheers from the few people in the bar there to see you guys perform, but the one thing that caught your eye was your little brother standing with Robin and Steve towards the back of the crowd. It made you so happy to see the smile on Dustin’s face as he cheered for you as you walked on. By the time you were center-stage, Eddie had met you there and place an arm around your shoulder. “She’s my little dove and honestly, being with her has felt so damn freeing… also helps that she’s the peacekeeper in band arguments.” He chuckled a little. “She’s probably the best woman this band has ever seen and that I’ve had the pleasure to perform with and I can’t wait for you guys to see her work her magic.” Eddie leaned over to give you a quick kiss, he was immensely happy to be here with you and also he wanted to show every man in the bar that was eyeing you, that you were his girlfriend.

Even though Steve had told himself that he was going to be just your best friend and sit on the sidelines, it hurt like hell to see you and Eddie kiss on stage. He was proud of you though, he remembered the first time he heard you sing. It was the beginning of the work day and the mall hadn’t even opened yet. You were walking past Scoops Ahoy with your headphones on, singing along to Storms by Fleetwood Mac. You were so carefree and didn’t care if anyone heard you. It was early in the morning and the song comforted you and it was your favorite song to sing. It was also the only song that reminded you of your father that you could listen to without crying. He introduced you to Fleetwood Mac and Journey and pretty much all the music you listened to. Now, in the present, Steve was excited to get to hear you sing once again.

You took the microphone from Eddie’s hand. “Alright! Who’s ready for a show?” You said into the microphone as the band started playing the intro to Rock You Like A Hurricane. You performed the song just like you had practiced with Eddie, well almost exactly like you did with Eddie. You tried to focus on singing to the crowd more and also, you didn’t want to scar Dustin. The whole performance was amazing you were having probably the most fun you’ve had in a long time. You sang the last song of the set before bowing to the crowd and saying thank you. You turned around to look back at the band to see they were still set up to perform. Eddie walked up the microphone you had set down.

“Now I know we typically only do 5 songs, but I wanted to add an extra song in here tonight. This one’s dedicated to the best girlfriend a man could have.” He looked over at you and winked. “I know this song brings a lot of emotions for ya, but I couldn’t help but learn to play it when you told me the story behind it.”

The band started to play the intro to Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ by Journey. Your mind was brought back to the day you cried in the van with Eddie, telling him about how your parents used to slow dance to this in the living room. You remembered the tears streaming down your face and Eddie comforting you. That was the night you guys kissed for the first time. It was only a week ago, but it felt like he had been yours forever. When it got to the part where he would just repeat the “na na na na’s” he turned to the boys who continued to sing for him. He made his way over to you, hand held out saying he wanted to slow dance with you for the last minute of the song. You happily obliged. It felt amazing to be slow dance with him just the way your parents had when you were younger. Tears were streaming from your face, though this time they were tears of joy. Maybe you hadn’t completely checked all of the boxes of being exactly like you’re father, but it sure felt good to check this one off.

At the end of the song, Eddie held onto you for a second before letting you go. Both of you turning to face the crowd and bowing. You made your way off the stage and over to Dustin. He has tears in his eyes and you couldn’t tell if it was from joy or sadness, but either way you gave him the biggest hug ever.

“That was awesome, (y/n)!” He wiped a tear off his face.

“Thanks, Dusty.” You wrapped him in another hug before turning to Robin.

“Proud of you, girly.” Robin said opening her arms for a hug too. You hugged her back, both of you squeezing each other so much it felt like you couldn’t breath.

Then you looked at Steve, you hadn’t talked to him since everything that went down the day before. He offered up an awkward smile which you returned. You noticed he was holding flowers. A small bouquet of daisies and roses. You looked from the bouquet to him, expecting him to be the first to say something.

“You did great out there, kiddo.” He apparently was a kind reader or just knew that the silence was becoming extremely awkward.

“Thanks…what’s up with the flowers?” You raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

“I wanted to apologize and Robin said I should call Dustin to see what would work. He told me flowers and what you liked so, so I got those.” He held out the bouquet towards you.

“Oh…thanks…” You hesitantly took the flowers from him, once again giving an awkward smile. Eddie looked over from the stage where he was putting his guitar up to see Steve handing the flowers to you. He was a little nervous that Steve was trying to make a move on you again, so he made his way over.

“What’s goin’ on over here?” Eddie came over and wrapped an arm around you before looking at Steve then bouquet. He didn’t want to sound overprotective, but he was a bit weary of Steve after the events of yesterday.

“Shit, I’m just now realizing how romantic this looks. I’m not trying to make a move, I promise.” Steve held up his hands, eyes darting between you and Eddie.

“Steve’s trying to apologize for yesterday.” You looked over at Eddie. “Dustin gave him the idea of flowers. He’s extending an olive branch…minus the branch, plus flowers.” You gave him a reassuring smile as if to say it’s okay.

“Ahh okay. I was a little nervous there for a moment, Harrington.” Eddie nodded towards Steve.

“Yea, completely understandable. I just want (y/n) to know I’m sorry. Truly am. I shouldn’t have done that, I still hope we can still be best friends. I know you’re scared of losing people and you’re not gonna lose any of us. Okay?” Steve motioned to the group surrounding you.

“Okay.” You smiled. “Is it okay if we hug?” You asked Steve, nerves in your voice.

“Of course.” Steve smiled before pulling you into a hug. The rest of the group joining in.

This was pure bliss. After the 48 hours you’ve had, this hig with your favorite people was the cherry on top of a perfect night. You and Steve decided to stay best friends and you’re relationship with Eddie stayed perfect. There were ups and downs with both of them, but with both of them being some of the Henderson’s favorite people, they learned to get through it. You really were the dove of peace for them.

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a/n: okay so this is basically the “last part” to Dove, unless you guys want a Steve ending or I decide to write a part where it’s the future of y/n and Eddie, but for now I’m gonna work on some other fics Ive been thinking about for a while. I really hope you guys liked Dove <3

#steve harrington #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #stranger things s4 #henderson!reader #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie x reader #eddie stranger things #corroded coffin

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gatorbites-imagines · 1 year ago

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Hey Slay boy, it’s me again. There’s not a lot of content for literally any of them so can I get like A-Train, (not the deep), MM, Frenchie, and some of Hughie

A-Train, MM, Frenchie and Hughie, as boyfriends

Headcanons

couldnt find any good gif, so i just chose this one

Reginald “Reggie” Franklin, “A-train”

Dating Reggie means you most likely are also a supe, maybe even someone well known in the community, since he cares a lot about his image.

Though, I also can see him being super open about being in a relationship with a man, since that would greatly affect his image and how people see him. So expect to be on the downlow with A-train, he still loves you though.

Later on, after everything, Reggie might start thinking about being public with his relationship with you, since you mean so much to him and he wants to be able to stand side by side with you even in public.

He still cares a lot about his image, and wants to appear as the best version of himself, so he probably acts kinda fake in public, but is more emotional and available in private.

Is a secret cuddlebug in private, and craves your approval and attention the most. Is scared hes not good enough for you, so he needs the reassurance.

Marvin T. Milk, “Mothers Milk”

M.M is a more put together partner, and is probably the best out of all of these guys to talk about his feelings, as he seems the type to sit down and talk about it, if either of you have issues in your relationship.

He always keeps a slight eye on you at most times to keep you safe, no matter where you are, since he still suffers from the fear of losing parts of his family.

Needs a daily checkup on you if you guys are ever apart, or else he cant sleep at night because he has a deep instinctual fear that Soldier Boy has somehow killed you too, so do keep that in mind if you ever travel somewhere without him.

Outside of his hate for soldier boy and his want for revenge, I could see M.M as the most likely to be able to have a domestic healthy relationship with.

Serge, “Frenchie”

Cares very deeply for his partner, so much it can put him in danger at times. If you get hurt, he loses track of what he was doing which can be dangerous.

He doesn’t appear the type to others, but I can imagine Frenchie is quite the romantic when it comes down to it. He would bake you treats in his free time, take you on dates or just have dates at home if you guys cant go out, the likes.

The type to compliment you In another language, mainly to himself under his breath, but in the morning when you guys wake up he would mumble about how handsome you are and how much he loves you.

Teaches you how to use most weapons in case you need it, or how to recognize most drugs to make sure you don’t get drugged, or any chance you might need that knowledge.

Hughie Campbell

A softy and is probably the one who loves to cuddle the most, is also most likely the most open about his relationship status. Doesn’t feel any shame about his sexuality, because as long as it’s you, he doesn’t care what others thing.

Comes to you for comfort or to feel safe after everything happens, just needs to lay in your arms and shake and cry to himself, as being held by you is enough. It might take a bit for him to tell you what’s bothering him, as he doesn’t want you to get hurt because of him.

The one who likes to borrow your clothes and wear it, even if you are smaller than him. If you have any hoodie that might fit him, hes stolen it at least a few times. Likes to be surrounded by your scent.

It takes a little bit, but after he starts, he tells you he loves you any chance he gets. Both because hes scared of losing you or himself dying, but also just to make sure you know.

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kaz11283 · 4 years ago

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The Shape of You

Summary: While at one of Tonys top end parties the god of mischief asks you to dance to your suprise. You didn't think he was the type to dance muchless to the song that he decided to ask you to dsnce to.

Characters: Loki, Thor, Tony, Natalie, Wanda, Clint, Steve

Pairings: you x Loki, you x Thor (platonic), you x Tony (Brother, sister)

ANNOUNCMENTS: I got this idea while listening to "Shape of You", then I really started getting into the story everytime that I listened to it (which was a lot). Ive had this on my head for a while now but i had to finish up I think I'm in love and part 2. I also got 200 followers today, next is 300, lets get this! BTW I know that this is a GIF from High Rise but it gives you a PRETTY good iead whats going on. 💚💚💚

Loki Masterlist

"Why do you insist on bringing me to the boring ass parties Nat?" You asked trying to pull the hem of the dress down that she had picked oit for you. It wad a dark blue thigh length dress with a very low v neck, the shoes where a high heel ankle strap black shoe with small bows on the side the same color as the dress.

"Stop. Stop pulling, your not gonna make it any longer by doing that." She said swatting your hands away. "I bring you to these 'boring ass parties' because you spend to much time in the library doimg research, in your room working, or sitting in the lab trying to make something better. Point is, you are always working."

"I dont hear you complaining when something of yours gets improved, or an upgrade. Nat I love you but I am a weponds expert. I work better in the quite, thats my zone. Not here."

"Is that why you enjoy spending time with Loki? Because I have to tell you y/n hes not really the quite type." She rasied an eyebrow to look st you.

"Hes not the quite type around all of you because you all make snide remarks. Hes usually quite around me because I dont pick on him or call him names." You turned and looked straight at her.

"All of the other reindeer, use to laugh and call him names." Tony sang walking up to the two of you with a drink. "Couldnt be talking about reindeer game could you?"

"Thank you Tony, and we were just finishing talking and Loki." You answered walking off to sit at the bar where Steve and Thor was sitting.

"Your brother throws one heck of a party." Steve saod tilting his beer to his mouth. "Defiantly better than some of the parties I've been to."

"It is a good party but nothing like the ones on Asguard." Thor boomed with laughter. "You must come some time, we would have a grand celebration in your honor."

"Hes always been a little over the top, if you cant tell. Always had an eye for big, expensive things. Flamboyant parties, playboy style women, expensive cars. Whatever he wants he gets, now dont get me wrong he does work his ass off, but sometimes it would be nice to just have a weekend were the walls didnt shake while I am trying to work on something."

"Ah but little sister, all work and no play makes y/n a dull boy." Tony answered lightly slapping your back.

"Jesus Christ Tone, stop quoting movies, it gets rather annoying."

"Another round, bartender, for little sister." Tony said ruffling your hair.

"You realize I cant stand you right?" You shot him a sideways look.

"Thats why I dont let you work on my toys." He answered giving you a kiss on the top of the head before walking off.

"Thor?" You turned to the god of thunder.

"Yes Lady y/n?" He turned to were he was facing you, his legs on either side of your thighs.

"Do you know of your brother is going to show up?" He laughed turning back to the bar. "Dont get me wrong I absolutly love your company but...."

"You would rather have the company of a more slender, raven haired man tonight." He raised a brow while taking a drink of his beer.

"Well, yes. He is quite interesting to say the least." You laugh.

"Well lady y/n, he said he would be down shortly. He did say he was going to make an apperance though."

"Thank you." You stood, leaning down to kiss his cheek before walking off to find someone else interesting to talk to.

"Hey y/n! Over here!" Clint shouted waving you over to were he, Nat, and Wanda were sitting.

You sat talking to them for a little bit about what new stuff you had added to their weapons and gear, Clint was excited about trying out some of the new arrows that you had developed. You kept gnacing around the room hoping to catch a glips of Loki when he decided to come down.

While you and Wanda was in the middle of a conversation you felt a tap on your shoulder. Turning slightly you seen Loki stamding there was a know it all smirk on his face, he was wearing a completly black suit with his hair slicked back, you coud have swore that your heart stopped.

"Hello Darling, I heard you had been asking about me?" He offered you his hand to help you stand.

You laughed tucking your chin down slightly, you could feel your cheeks heat up. "I am going to kill your brother." He lead you back to the bar and getting you a drink handing it to you.

"You look quite ravishing tonight." He leaned in whispering in your ear. "Dont start being bashful tonight, after what happened last night." He had caught you off guard causing you to spit your drink back in your glass.

"Loki," you hissed smacking him on his shoulder. "We dont need Tony going all Iron Man on you tonight."

"Dance with me." He took your glass sitting it back on the bar and grabbed your hand.

"Oh no no no no. I dont dance." You tried stopping but he pulled you to the edge of the damce floor.

"Then dont dance, let the music guide you, or just follow my lead." He grabbed your waist pulling you closer to him, the song was an up beat song and he started moving. "Midguardian dances are so simple, it would be a type of tango I am assuming." He took you hand and wrapped it around the back of his head before placing his hand on your lower back pulling you even closer.

"This is crazy." You laughed after a few practice steps. It was simple yet intimate at the same time, you had a feeling you knew where this was heading.

"But simple, you are better than what you give your self credit for." He spund you around a few times as the tempo changed, when he spun you back to him his chest ws aginst your back as his hamd splayed across your abdomen.

He traced his nose up the side of your neck as you both moved causing you to give a small moan. "My bed sheets still smell like you." He whispered.

"Loki, can I let you in on a secret." You turned back in his arms to face him.

"Of course my dear." His fingers stroked your back.

"I think I'm in love with you." You wrapped your hand around his head so that you could pull his ear down to your level. You heard him take a breath and the dancing faltered slightly but he kept moving.

"It feels as though I might be returning those feelings y/n." You smiled up at him he turned you in a few more circles causing you to be facing away from him again. His hips following yours in a delicious manner causing your thoughts to go back to the night before. His trailing kisses down your neck to your collar bones, fingers caressing up your sides pulling your shirt over your head. You returning the favor and being speechless at finally seeing him with out his shirt on. He had a more slender figure but his muscles were still there. Remembering the feeling of his chest clenching as you ran your fingers up and around his neck to pull him closer for the earth shattering kiss that had lead to so much more.

"You reliving some of last nights activities, y/n?" He asked quietly.

"Yes but sadly I am having trouble remembering some parts. You might have to remind me." The song ended as you pulled him off the dance floor and through the doors leading to the hallway.

~~~~~

Tag List:

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@high-functioning-lokipath

@rosaline-black

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

ANNOUNCEMENT 2: Wow wow wow, ok so some slightly adult situations but oh dear lord, my face is a little red just from writting that. I've read worst but never wrote. What I would give to be twirled around the dance floor like that by him. Thank you guys for reading! I really hope you enjoy this one. Like I saod I have been thinking about this for about a week now and here it is. I habe to say this is like top 3 of my faves (my first was and still is my fave "Bath Time For a Prince") Thank you again for all the love and the support!!!!

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fandomlit · 4 years ago

Text

since you’ve been gone (hogwarts boys x reader)

series summary when you begin to gain popularity on tiktok, it doesn’t go unnoticed by your fellow hogwarts students. and with the help and consent of your friends, you use your newfound fame to share some of the weirdness of your life in the form of tiktok trends.

chapter summary you decide to put a little twist on one of your favorite tiktok trends with the boys.

a/n ok 1. im sorry again for this taking so long dont hurt me please 2. i couldnt find the regular gif i use and im kinda sad ab it so enjoy this different one

choose your boy tiktok | boy breakdown pt. 1 | boy breakdown pt. 2 | q&a

gif cred belongs to @monicalover

your most recent tiktok left you with some very curious viewers.

“uh..,” you laughed to your camera. “i just wanna apologize for my next tiktok in advance. im still editing it but..” you laughed again, looking off camera as you said, “it’s gonna be.. it’ll be entertaining.” you nodded unsurely. “yeah. anyway, have a draco in the meantime.”

you turned the camera to the blonde at your side, who shook his head at you with a confused expression. without looking at the camera, he spoke, “hi?” you laughed and the video cut off.

your comment section exploded with theories and curiosity. you posted the awaited video just two hours after.

the music gave it all away. you smiled coolly at the camera as you sang smoothly into a nice microphone, “here’s the thing, we started off friends..”

it next switched to oliver, who plainly looked to the camera and plainly spoke, “it was cool, but it was all pretend.” he smiled and looked to you after he finished and you burst into laughter over the music.

“yeah, yeah,” ron sang dramatically, sniffling as if he had been crying. with a cracking voice, he whispered into the provided microphone, “since you’ve been gone.” he let out a snort and you had to pause the music as you and harry laughed with ron from behind the camera. you briefly showed the laughing brunette before cutting to the next video.

fred took a sassy stance that had you suppressing a wheeze as he spoke dramatically, “oh there’s no back up dancers?” he rolled his eyes, brushing a hand through his hair, “whatever.” you let out a loud laugh and he grinned over at you.

the next screen was over stalled music, displaying the words, “we needed a few extra people, so enjoy some girls coming soon to tiktok ;)”

luna stood before you, whispering into the mic.

“im sorry, what was that?”

luna took a small breath before speaking slightly louder, “hi my name is luna, i really like mythical creatures.. 1, 2, 3, 4..”

draco appeared next with the fakest smile you had ever seen from him (which was saying a lot). he sang clearly, “dedicated, you took the time.” he tapped his wrist on ‘time’ and you let out a “nice” intermingled with a laugh as he broke his composure.

george stepped up dramatically, whipping his hair as he sang, “it wasn’t long ‘til i called you mi-ine.” he threw a wink at the camera.

“yeah, yeah,” ginny sang, eliciting a distant cheer from you. “since you’ve been gone.” she giggled as she finished.

you sat on the ground before the microphone stand as whispered, “doomdoomdoomdoom-” but cut yourself off with a loud laugh that was joined by your helpers, harry and ron.

harry turned around dramatically with a plastered on smile for the next bit, making you immediately have to hold back a wheeze as he grabbed the mic stand and spoke, “hi everybody, my name is harry.” he flipped his hair dramatically and you had to cover your mouth to prevent a laugh as ron snorted again. “my hobbies include skipping classes and wearing glasses.” there was a distant thud as you fell from standing by your recording stand.

harry leaned closer into the mic and sang dramatically, “and all you’d ever hear me say,” your loud, distant laughter was just barely heard over the music, “is how i picture me with you.” he leaned away from the mic to look over at you and ron. “that good?”

“perfect,” ron spoke.

in a more calm setting, cedric sang perfectly, “that’s all you’ll ever hear me say.” you cheered and he chuckled charmingly at the camera.

and for the final scene, you, ron, and harry struck poses and sang out strongly and dramatically, “since you’ve been gone!”

but the music was cut off when a teacher yelled down the hallway, causing you all to scramble for your setup equipment. the screen flashed with a quick, ‘shoutout to ron and harry for all their help with this! <3′ and then cut off as you all ran down the hall.

the video blew up within the hour. and of course, the twins were once again at your shoulders.

“you get one question, and then im taking a nap,” you said, giving them both an aggressive point. “i spent too many late nights editing this shit.”

“alright, okay!”

they grinned at you with their usual wickedness. “who was the most fun to work with on this lovely, lovely video?”

“harry and ron,” you immediately answered. “they helped me get everything set up and planned, you two are useless,” you pushed past them to strut down the hallway, “goodnight!”

they both watched after you with unsatisfied looks.

“i don’t think you’re useless,” george spoke to fred.

fred nodded. “thanks, mate.”

tags under the cut!!

@inscentedreamer @dnxdshhad @calaryssia @liliaesmeralda19 @voidmalfoy @livmarauder @nat-martins-love @liceforlunch @melmachh @stvhrrngtn @dr7girl @bi-idiot-fanfics @yashinosakura @shiningstar-byulxx @hermione-grangers-wife @fiantomartell @pearce14 @cosmoetik @cutelittlepotatofry @bookarebetterthanmovies @darling-egg @icantthinkofanyusername0 @a-sarcastic-lil-shit @shawkneecaps @i-cry-so-much @sweetingcas @flowerceilinglight @fadesbrina @thatguppienamedbae @imuziawi @the-romanian-is-bae @adoregin @caelum-the-part-time-acosmist @bi-andready-tocry @behindthemxskx @xoxohollands @theheartwrenchingsunset @leslie2898 @sleepylittlealien-blg @ynfics @diamondgirl1111 @messedupmyfuckinglife @fairyhwas @justyourtypicalzenitsuspawn @juliannaamonroe @perfectlysane24 @justthatfangirloverthere @trickylittlewitch @insomniac-nerd-posts-things

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cloveroctobers · 4 years ago

Note

Your latest Jordan fic was so good 🥺🥺🥺 I would love to see a Part 2 or something where Y/n finds out Jordan cheated his concussion protocols!! Maybe they get in a fight for a few days but make up?? Idk I need some angsty fluff right now if you would please 💛

A/N: I’m finally getting this out to you dear anon, hope you’re still interested?! LOL. This is more in a headcanon form since I’ve been running around all day and need a nap 😆 but hope you still enjoy this!

GIF owner: @archietonis

Read part 1 here

WHITE LIE - J. BAKER

when liv and jordan suggested going up to spencer’s dad’s cabin for part of the weekend you only jumped at the chance to help a friend in need

and not because of the whole cabin experience!!

you hated the outdoors meanwhile your parents loved it

your father often went on hikes with his friends causing your anxiety to act up whenever you would hear stories of injuries or read about disappearances in the woods

Blair witch ain’t no friend of yours

only you would find yourself reading things like that

and your mom was active in running, walking, and biking marathons

you on the other hand liked being where it was safe and no accidents can occur and to you that happened to be in your room

so basically your own personal bubble

however you were great on the swim team until you just up and decided it was no longer for you

you dropped a lot of things once you got tired of them, which your parents couldnt be too upset with you since you were open to trying new things...they just never lasted long

so you started to like low-key hobbies instead

anyways!!

it was all going so well with your friends

you all took the time to give spencer the comfort he needed, following his lead when it came to cleaning the cabin

and also knew when to apply breaks when it got too heavy

Such as: walking around “embracing nature” layla coached; with all grins

until the sun was making you break out in hives and you had a worm fall out from one of trees onto your shoulder!!! So by then you called it quits much to olivia and layla’s bemusement

“it wasn’t that bad.” olivia said as they caught up to you

jordan was trying to ease your worries this time cradling your head to his chest but failed to hold in his own laughter, “sweetheart, you’re fine. i mean think about it, that one little worm is nothing compared to the fast food we eat. they did say we ingest ground up worms in the meat and look, we’re still standing.”

Olivia widened her doe eyes and rapidly shook her head at her twin while Layla frowned pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, shocked Jordan actually thought that would have made you feel better

it did not

hey you were always down for some conspiracy theories, but right now with the way you were feeling physically? you did NOT want to hear that of all things

you screamed inside as Jordan held onto your shoulders still smiling

“i’m gonna go lock myself in the car now so i can explode in peace.”

instead of doing that Jordan encouraged you to lay in one of the spare bedrooms and brought you a water bottle and a bag full of ice cubes to rest against your blotchy skin

“see...i can take care of you too sometimes ya know?” Jordan cooed sitting below the twin sized bed

rolling your eyes, “yeah, yeah, ‘cause telling me that there’s grounded up worms wiggling around in my skeleton sure made me feel better.”

“if they’re grounded up then they can’t wiggle, they’re just gonna come straight out-

“jordan, i’m gonna start screaming if you don’t shut up.”

“love you.” jordan laughed leaning his head back against your thighs

you missed out on the nerf gun fight, actually dozing off until jordan whacked you awake with his damp shirt

you were always a light sleeper

“c’mon grandma, you can’t stay in here all day.”

blinking out of your sleep you slowly pulled yourself up into a sitting position, “how’s my face?”

“less pink panther for sure, doc.” Jordan answered turning your face from left to right with his fingertips

you lifted your own shirt checking the rest of the visable skin making jordan whistle, “giving bawdy-awdy-awdy...is that what meg says?”

“you’re one to talk, walking in here all drenched.” you scoffed playfully letting your sleeveless shirt fall back over your torso as you turned to jordan locking arms around his frame instead, “and let’s not act like you don’t know the lyrics, i always catch you singing my songs.”

“please,” jordan leaned down to brush his nose against yours, “your music taste sucks...except for ariana and snoh.”

“say’s the guy that has mainly the weeknd on your sex playlist.”

Jordan gasped, “okay, im offended.”

“dude, you have only the weeknd on your getting freaky playlist?!” JJ cut in, his head appearing through the ajar door

jordan cut his eyes at the bleach blond, “do you ever knock JJ?”

“What for? the doors open? we have to talk about expanding your playlist, just let me know when and i have everything you’re both probably looking for.” JJ grinned and winked at you while you closed your eyes and shook your head in response

“you probably have nothing but dubstep and electronic music.”

“not only,” JJ pointed, “plus i’ve never had any complaints before.”

“i find that very hard to believe.” you sighed moving your arms from Jordan’s waist as he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “what’s up JJ?”

“we need some confirmations, what do you think of fettuccine alla JJ?”

glancing off to the side you were confused, were you supposed to know what that is?

“i thought burgers and hot dogs was the easiest and best option?” Jordan folded his arms

JJ kept that award-winning smile on his lips, “you won’t be disappointed.”

“i think we’re already disappointed because we don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” you admited

“what’s that saying? don’t knock it until you try it.” JJ attempted to persuade

“i’m gonna knock you out if you get any of us sick by what you’re trying to feed us.”

“careful, baker. wouldn’t want you flat on your back like last time, gotta take it easy, doctor’s orders.” JJ went to pat Jordan’s chest

“i’m gonna kill him.” Jordan growled, knowing JJ was just joking as they all did as a group and jordan didn’t take much offense to it but he knew he would never hear the end of him facing his first concussion two weeks ago

he just wished everyone else would

“please do.”

Dinner came around which was actually nice to have with all of your friends around, you opted that you all do that more often with everyone agreeing

It felt good to actually spend time with your friends especially when things were constantly changing throughout the group

You even gave new girl Vanessa a chance! Although there was some tension there, you still tried to make her feel welcome despite the new found info you found out on your joyous hike!

then she had the idea to play “never have I ever” by the bonfire

you were always down for some games, you were a bit of nerd when it came to any form of games especially: video games, board games, and card games—you even loved chess...s/o to your gramps

Out of respect for Olivia’s sobriety, JJ decided that everyone would drink some form of spicy pickle juice that he probably bought from Amazon or some shit but hey! You were always down for new things to a extent...

“So you’ll drink this but not eat my famous pasta? I see how it is, y/n.”

He was hit with a shrug of your shoulders and a smug smile

First the game started off entertaining until...it all went left

Asher felt like it was correct response to take out his agitation on his friends, this friend being Jordan, “okay, fine. never have I ever cheated a concussion protocol to play in a game.”

Immediately you glanced at Jordan who wouldn’t meet your eyes

Taking a deep breath you asked, “Jordan, is that true?”

Jordan was a gapping fish which let you know that it was

Tossing the blanket to the side you got up walking off from the scene with Jordan rushing behind you gripping onto wrist to get your attention

“Just listen, for a minute.”

“Listen to you what? You continue to lie to not only me but everyone else?”

Jordan sighed, “I didn’t want anyone to worry about me.”

“No, you were selfish putting your health at risk just so you can play some stupid game!”

“Stupid?” Jordan frowned, “you think what I love to do is stupid? You know how important playing ball is to me.”

“Yes! And you prioritize that over your well-being and that’s not okay to me. And the fact that you thought lying to my face day after day would make it okay?”

“I’m sorry I lied.”

“Are you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean it was so easy for you say and do whatever you needed to do just to get back on the field, what else have you been lying to me about?”

“Oh don’t make this out to be more than it is! I just need you to support me, is that too much to do?”

You went silent thinking that over as you said your next words, “maybe it is. I can’t be your yes person all the damn time j, when you’re in the wrong here! I’ve been nothing but supportive in this relationship and the minute I say I’m not okay with not only you lying but risking your health at that, just for a game you want to question everything I put into this relationship? Really?!”

“That’s not—that’s not what I mean. I love everything you do for me, and how you make me feel. you know that, I’ve told you that. And I don’t want this to feel like a competition about who does more for the other because that’s not love and sounds really exhausting. I don’t ever want to grow tired of you. We are equal aren’t we? I just, I just want you to understand how important football is to me. I have to be the best and perfect my craft.”

“Perfecting your craft doesn’t mean working yourself until your nothing but dust, Jordan. I would be devastated if i lost you and if we make it which we’re destined to and you go pro, I’m always going to worry about you. I mean look at me now always in the stands watching through my fingers half of the game.”

Jordan breathed out a laugh nodding his head that this was in fact true, “I...I get that. Really I do...I’m so sorry I didn’t take you or any one else’s feelings into consideration.”

“Good, and I understand why you did it but you should have talked to me about that dumb idea of yours.”

“Would you have agreed, doc?”

“I can’t control you...you would have done it anyway, knowing your stubborn ass.”

Jordan tilted his head at that knowing that was probably true and slowly reached out to lace your fingers together, “are we okay?”

“As long as you get rid of those pills.” You squeezed his hand against yours.

“Deal. They’re actually in the car.” He placed a kiss on your forehead trying to ease the tension with the incredulous look you shot him, “you never said you forgive me, tho.” He informed with a sheepish smile

Shrugging you said, “Oh I’m still mad as hell, this fire has been dimmed but it’s still there, baby.”

Jordan groaned reaching up to grip the sides of your neck to pull your face up to his, “I love you, I care for you, I’m sorry for being a dumb ass and I’ll prove to you how sorry I am.”

“Just don’t lie to me ever again or I’m gonna kick your tall ass.” You pointed at Jordan who laughed, swearing against his chest and opted that he would do just that

“Can i get a kiss?” He raised his brows, hopeful

Shaking your head you stepped back from him, watching him pout, “that’s your consequence from me to you.”

“Seriously?! Y/n? You know how much I love kissing, that’s just evil.” Jordan yelled watching you walk off with a smirk on your lips

“Should have thought about that before you did what you did and not expecting me to find out.”

Jordan grumbled, “you wouldn’t have found out if Asher didn’t open his big mouth...”

“What was that?” You glanced over your shoulder standing on the front porch

Jordan dragged his feet over to you, “nothing, sweetheart.”

“I love you j, more than you know.” You stated before quickly pecking a kiss in between his lovely brows making him beam at the action

“Oh I know how much, trust me. Otherwise you wouldn’t be denying me my kisses.” Jordan gripped your waist pulling you into a hug

#all american #all american x reader #Jordan Baker x reader #michael evans behling #jj parker #Olivia Baker #Layla keating #Spencer James #vanessa montes #Asher Adams #all american cw

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flowerslightning · 5 years ago

Text

(Part 2) Cloud Strife and his Mental Illness

a.k.a Psychiatric Disorder

| 1. Memory | ⇦ Click if u havent read it yet

2. Hallucinations, Illusions and Delusions

Since these three things relate well with Cloud's troubled memories, I'll be talking about them first before jumping to his Confused Personality

This post will bore u a bit or maybe a lot 😂 it depends. If ure interested with psychiatric stuff, u'll find this enjoyable as much as i do

Disclaimer : I'm 21 and still a tiny meany student. During my intern at Psychiatric Department, I learned and witnessed psychiatric problems from real life patients. And since Cloud (my fav FF character) has psychiatric issues, I'll be sharing some of my knowledge and interpretation of Cloud's character. Im not diagnosing him, rather i'm giving my own opinion about his status

@nibelheiim created a post about dissociation, she explained about hallucination, PTSD and more. Come and check her out! Her words were more direct and easier to understand. She explained about Psychological matter and she's a real psychology student too!

While my explanation will be more focusing on Psychiatric Topic and words used will be more complicated (with grammar errors). My facts will be based on ICD 10 and DSM-IV

A lot of people were confused with these three terms - Hallucination Illusion Delusion - These terms associated with abnormalities of perception. It is important to understand that this abnormality holds two keys; ● 1. Perception is the process of becoming aware of what is presented through the sense organs. ● 2. Imagery is an experience originating within the mind that usually lacks the sense of reality that is part of perception.

Abnormalities of perceptions have 4 theme, but I'll be focusing on two major types that relate with Cloud: (i) Hallucinations ; (ii) Illusions. Some cases, perception can be normal in intensity and quality but has a changed meaning for the person who experiences it - it is called as Delusional Perception. It is not an abnormal of perceptions, rather it is a disorder of a person's thinking.

Try guessing, how many from these terms does Cloud has?

1. Hallucinations

- A perception experienced in the absence of external stimulus to the corresponding sense organ. Eg - patient hears a voice when no one is speaking within a hearing distance or patient sees something approaching him when visually no one is there. There are 2 qualities to determine a hallucination: ●it is experienced as a true perception●it seems to come from outside of the head●

The above gif, where Sephiroth suddenly appear again before Cloud's eyes even able to touch Aerith's shoulder, it illustrate perfectly the 'Visual Hallucination'. No one can see Sephiroth, other than Cloud himself.

Cloud [Remake] kinda had anxiety when he stared at the fire and later he saw Sephiroth surrounded with flames, then poof, that silver guy disappeared along with the images of fire. He said he was hallucinating stuff after the first bombing mission. Idk how Sephiroth could create fake images of fire around him, either Cloud was really hallucinating or it was really Sephiroth that came to see him. But, this is what we call as 'Visual and Auditory Hallucinations'. Cloud SAW Sephiroth and HEARD him talking when no one else did. I can also add in 'Tactile Hallucination' because he probably felt the burning sensation on his skin from the flame around him that caused him to feel hot and sweating, or probably it was his anxiety that caused him sweating upon meeting Sephiroth with the flashback of his burning hometown

Hallucinations can occur in all sensory modalities; visual, olfactory, auditory etc. In the Remake, the Whispers could only be seen by certain people. To those who couldnt see it, they would be puzzled what was happening to u, and would've thought that u were hallucinating something, like in the case of Aerith.

In Cloud's case, perhaps Cloud [In OG] had auditory hallucination due to his severe case of Mako Addiction. But then, that wasnt exactly a hallucination though, cuz the thing he said "'Coming.. They're coming" was actually true. A monster fell from the sky.

Other 'hallucinations' that Cloud had was the images of Sephiroth that appeared in certain headache. Cloud may claimed it was his hallucinations, but i've read it somewhere that says it was really Sephiroth appeared before his eyes. Sephiroth was messing with Cloud's mind, trying to break his mental in order to control him. However, IF IT WASNT SEPHIROTH that came, Cloud's 'hallucination' would be known as a mental disorder that may lead to severe case - eg Schizophrenia.

2. Illusions

An illusion is a misperception of an external stimulus. It often occur in several circumstances: (i)level of sensory stimulation reduced (ii)attention is not focused on the sensory modality (iii)level of consciousness reduced (iv)being in a state of intense emotion- fear.

Does Cloud has it? Urm, maybe? Well, it can be proven when he saw his 'noisy neighbour next door' as Sephiroth. As stated above, illusions occur in 4 conditions, and Cloud was in number (i) and (iv). When Tifa yelled him to stop, Cloud came back to reality and got really confused when the 'Sephiroth' that attacked him was actually a sick guy. We can also add in 'Hallucinations of Deep sensation' in this scenario bcause Cloud experienced the feelings of being pushed down by 'Sephiroth'.

However, we all know that 'Sephiroth' was real at that moment. For Cloud, he thought it was an illusion, but for us the audience, it was a real thing.

If u want a better explanation and example, try watching Joker the movie. The main theme of the movie was 'mental illness'. There are lots of scenes that shows different type of hallucinations, illusions and also personality disorder.

3. Delusions

a.k.a fixed false belief. A belief that is held firmly despite evidence contrary. A delusion is nearly always a false belief but not always so. There are around 11 types of delusions according to the book. Half of it may suggest Shcizophrenia. Schizophrenia is certainly not in Cloud's case. I've studied one by one the type of delusions and none of them match with Cloud FF7.

I will surely give anyone a good punch in the face if they dare to say Cloud suffers from Schizophrenia. I've met with bunch of patients having it, and the way they see this world is totally different from us.

In some other cases, eg a spiritualist convince a person to believe in his spiritualism and he present with contrary evidence to the non-believer. This non-delusional belief is called 'overvalued ideas'

Overvalued ideas is an isolated , preoccupying and strongly held belief that dominates a person's life and may affect his action. One of the easiest example i can come up with; a friend who had skin cancer may be convinced to her roomate that cancer is contagious, and her roomate suspects any abnormal skin conditions she has is an evidence to show she too, may have developed the same cancer, when the truth is, she's just completely fine.

It is very hard to distinguish between a delusion and overvalued ideas.

I had a patient, he was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. He looked like an ordinary man, but when he talked, it sounded so unreal. He said he had jumped off from 10th floor several times and didnt get a scratch from it. He believed he wont die bcause he had gained super power. He even convinced me to try his 'so-called-secret technique- on how to survive a jump. By doing that often, I will have a superpower like him - a strong physical body. Up until now, I still dont know if he was being deluded with his thought or he was overvalued his idea, bcause from his psychiatric record, he did try to jump off from the second floor of his apartment's balcony a few times.

So, Im not really sure of myself did Cloud [FF7] really had delusion or not. Well, he believed he made it to SOLDIER bcause he had mako eyes. But was it something we called as delusion or was he just overvaluing his idea? He didnt know the truth and his memory messed up. No one could explain to him why he had Mako eyes, except Prof Hojo and Zack who knew the truth

Besides, after Tifa helped with his memory, Cloud accepted the fact he wasnt in SOLDIER. For patient who deluded with their own thoughts, they hardly could believe what people told him.

However, surely Cloud [in AC] had delusions of guilt and worthlessness due to the fact that he believed he had done something shameful and sinful - the main trigger of this theme was, he got infected with Geostigma while he was searching a cure for Denzel. Cloud got depressed with the loss of Aerith and the memory of Zack death had returned, but I think he was recovering very well in that two years time skip. The moment he got Geostigma, he became deluded he was worthless and his depression kicked in again.

Hallucinations and Illusions are normal to be experienced by healthy people, but it wont be if u encounter too many hallucinations & illusions in 2 weeks time. Believe it or not, a lot of people around us are actually mentally ill bcause some of them may have excessive certain delusions, such as delusions of jealousy, grandiose delusions, nihilistic, paranoid etc. Although 'it is consider as normal' in a few circumstance, a few cases need to refer to psychologist and in severer cases, must refer to psychiatrist. If u follow Dr Phil's show, u'll see a bunch of patients have different kind of crazy delusions.

Overall from my statement above, I would conclude that since Sephiroth always appear before Cloud's eyes, this resulting Cloud to think he has both Hallucination and Illusion, when in fact, he's just a normal guy with amnesia and personality confusion. Cloud doesnt have Delusion like how many fans said, neither he has an overvalued idea, even with the evidence of Mako eyes supporting his reasoning + he's a great fighter. I will have to say that perhaps it is his brain defence mechanism that tricks his mind to believe he is a Soldier.

If only Sephiroth stop disturbing Cloud's life, it will be a lot faster to fix Cloud. Tifa alone will be the main strength to get Cloud back to normal. Ah, but this is the beauty of the game. Life wont be exciting without the presence of a beautiful villain and a love triangle (Tifa-Cloud-Sephiroth). Lol Technically I see them trying to fight for Cloud's mental health. Tifa wants to help Cloud with his mental status while Sephiroth is trying to destroy it. Lolololol

My crack theory : Sephiroth says he's going to take Cloud's most precious thing, and he ends up choosing to kill Aerith, but ofc there's another reason why Aerith got killed. But if Sephiroth kills Tifa first, I think he can take over Cloud's mind faster, because then, no one will be holding Cloud back. Honestly no one can ever will, not even Aerith. So does that mean Sephiroth doesnt know about Cloud's deepest secret or is Cloud just good at hiding his weakness?

I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT POST LATER because I've reached tumblr limit images agaiiin. The next part will be focusing about his personality - Personality Disorder

If there is any part that I've mistaken, pls correct me. I'm sorry for my english. English is not my native language, so there are plenty of grammar errors.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 remake #final fantasy gif #ff7r #mygif #ff7r spoilers #cloud ff7 #cloud strife gif #sephiroth gif #final fantasy sephiroth #character analysis #psychology #psychiatric disorders #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough

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insidetheacademy · 5 years ago

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Say You Love Me || ii

pairings: Peter Parker x reader (both Peter and reader are 18+!)

gif credits: tomhollandd

summary: peter and reader met once again after months of not seeing other

warnings: angst??? if you squint??? a bit of fluff if you squint too i guess???

part i part ii part iii part iv part v

*flashback*

“hey, its okay, you’ll find another one.” Peter reassures you whilst his finger runs up and down your hair as you sob beside him on his pillow. you had just broken up with your significant other, Alex. they said you were too much to handle and that you could be a manic sometimes. you begged for them to stay, promising them that you would do better but they just walked away. “i feel like everything i do isnt enough for them,” you blurted out

Peter couldnt help but say “don’t say that, y/n. you’re literally the amazing person that I had ever met. you’re so kind, caring and just so out of this world.” Peter meant every word he said that night. You looked up at him with red swollen eyes and he opened his arms to attack you with his hugs. Peter didnt care that you had snots and such, the only thing that he had in his mind were that his best friend is safe with him.

Peter cupped your face, “cheer up, y/n, let’s go and get some slushee?” Peter asked trying to cheer you up with your favourite 7 Eleven drink. He helped wiped your tears off of your face with his thumb and you just nodded at his words.

“earth to y/n,” MJ said waving her hands in front of your face, “God, are you daydreaming about Parker again?” she scoffed crossing her arms. you look at her sadly, “i just can’t believe he rejected me that coldly, you know?” you went on and on about how you werent unsatisfied with his rejection. true, it has been 6 months exact that he had rejected you and you can’t seem to get your mind off of him.

MJ had enough of you wallowing in sadness, she puts her hand on top of your hands trying to make you feel safe and calm, “look, y/n, what he did was an ass move, but he also did the right thing. atleast he doesnt leads you on,” you looked at her face not knowing what to respond as she was right. at least he was being honest. She continued “who would’ve thought a well known New York City based painter like you would still be hung up on a guy like him,” you rolled your eyes at her attempt trying to brag about your achievements.

but you couldnt help but think about that night when Alex left you and Peter was there to help you. you’ve held that memory so dearly as it was the first time you had fallen for Peter. i guess you read it wrong when he tells that you were an amazing person. i mean, only a crazy person would think that complimenting an opposite gender friend is flirting. you thought to yourself too, did he really mean those words? or was he just trying to make you feel better?

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

you were walking side by side with MJ heading your way towards the nearest bookstore to buy your own copy of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. a series of private notes by Aurelius and his ideas of Stoic Philosophy. you remember when Peter would constantly call you a nerd for being so invested in books but you didnt mind as he was the worse of them all; a geek. He wouldnt shut up about Star Wars and all those superhero stuff. You’d gladly listen to him talking about it anyway as so is he about your books.

you and MJ walked into the bookstore and split ways to find each of your own needs. you head down to the history archives isle, to find the boon of your desire. you stopped in your tracks when you heard a familiar warm laughter, “dude, that’s messed up!” he exclaimed. out of curiousity, you followed the voice to see is it really who you think it was? to your surprise it was Peter and Ned. you were a bit shocked, you tried to walked away when Ned caught you.

“is that y/n? hey y/n!” Ned shouted to which you spinned to face Ned and Peter. you gave them a fake warm smile and walked over to them. “hey guys,” you said in the most boring tone ever. “how have you been, girl? it has been so long!” Ned asked to which you replied good. Peter has been eyeing you for the whole conversation, you noticed but you didnt want to look at his beautiful brown eyes knowing that doing so will break you.

you had to end the conversation to meet MJ knowing that she would definitely be mad if you took way too long even when you knew what book to buy. “woah, look at the time!” you said lacing in sarcastic, “i gotta go. MJ’s gonna be pretty mad at me for disappearing for this long.” Ned’s face lit up with excitement as the whole gang was here! “MJ’s here? dude we have to meet her!” Ned said nudging Peter’s arm. you immediately regretting everything that you had just said knowing them, this would probably turn into the biggest reunion hangout ever.

you found MJ in the arts section reading a book about Van Gogh. she looked up when she saw a figure walking to her, “hey! are you fini-“ she stopped mid sentence as she saw the two guys behind you. she immediately gave them the hugest hugs ever. it has been a long time since the four of you hung out like this.

the conversation then moved to a café. it was only Ned and MJ talking, you and Peter didnt talk a lot. you kept looking at Peter when he’s not looking and he notices it but he doesnt want to say anything.

Peter on the other hand had to break up with Jane when he found out that Jane was having an affair with a guy from work. He was upset, he couldn’t even step out of his home for the whole six months. thats why Ned is here. he pushed Peter out of his shell.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

it was 9pm already. Goodness, time flies when you’re catching up with old friends or so you thought. you parted ways with MJ and Ned but funny enough, you forgot that your apartment was near Peter’s so you two had to walk together. but not really together, just five feet apart from each other to avoid the deathly awkward silence.

you were doing fine walking on your own when you heard a rustling behind you, you checked to look and it was only Peter. you raised your eyebrows and faced forward, “look, I wanna say that I’m sorry,” he spoke. you took out your earphones to say “for what?” pretending to be clueless but you were fully aware about what’s he saying. you just wanted some sort of confirmation that he knows he treated you a bit coldly that night.

“for rejecting you. so coldly in fact. I just dont know what the hell happened for me to reacted like that. I know that you’re probably not gonna forgive me for not feeling the same way.” he said scratching his head, but he was so wrong. why wouldnt you forgive him? feelings just don’t reciprocate and thats okay. you understood plus eventhough you wanted him so bad at that specific night, you can’t just take away someone’s once in a lifetime.

you reassured him that it was fine and that you understood him. you explained that his rejection made you even more aware of yourself and how you sort of found yourself through it all. Peter spoke up again, “so a painter, huh?” he nudges you. you let out a breath to the nose laugh and said a tiny yeah. he then follows up with a “i saw your paintings at the painting exhibitions and i must say they’re really pretty. they’re different than what you used to paint back in high school.” you stopped in your tracks and looked at him to find some sort of ‘haha i’m just joking i dont really give a shit about your paintings’.

you felt so happy that even when you stopped talking he was still keeping tabs on what you were doing. it sent a feeling to your stomach that you hadnt felt in the span of six months. you smiled at him and said “well, i’m honoured that you think so, Parker.”

“here’s me,” you said to Peter arriving at your apartment complex. not too shabby. the awkward silence came back once again between the two of you, not knowing how to end it. “so uh-“ the two of you spoke in unison, you stopped and laughed. “I would love to go out with you again. I’ve missed you so much.” Peter said, your lips curved into a smile “Wednesday, 12:30pm, don’t be late.” you said to him as you walked up the stairs to the inside of your apartment.

He didnt have the time to process it properly but he knew he just got a date. He felt so giddy at the fact that he got his best friend back but he doesnt know that you still want more.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

a/n; part two!! thank you so much for the positive feedback! i’m honestly considering on making this into a little mini series! let me know if you are interested <3!

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluffs #tom holland fluffs #peter parker angst #tom holland angst #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #uh oh reader wants to bang peter

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voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

Text

Troubled troubles

Ok to rb

Summary:Basically s/I and adler fluff, a bit of angst and a buttload of oc stuff

Gif by travellar on Tumblr

@romancologist @mycinnamonapples uwu

Another Slam of hands on the table announces jerico that adler is yet having problems with something, she sighs Rolling her shoulders back, and her two cats sit ontop of them.

--Oh boy I do love hearing my boyfriend mad--she said playfully leaning on the doorsill of adler's Office.

Russel turns to look at her, he smiles a bit --Hey princess, sorry for makin too much noise,I know you dont like that

Jeri shrugged and Walked over, sitting on her boyfriends lap--Okay let me see whats up

--Ive been trying to fix this radio for Woods, nothings workin

She takes the radio and looks at it--Did you notice some of the cables are broken? Like when your headphones cable is broken and you twist the cord around for it to work?

--...wait what?

--Yeah its broken see?

Adler internally facepalms as his cheeks turn red--How could I not notice that?

Jer kisses his scarred cheek and leaves the radio on the desk standing up--Anyway ill go chance, todays prayer Day at cycle coasts main temple,you sure you dont want to go?

--No babe,im alright you go enjoy your terran stuff

She chuckled and shook her head walking over to her room to change.

The Roaring of the motorcycle engine drowned out any other sound in the garage, jerico put her helmet on,both of her cats tucked in her backpack,peeking through the semi Open compartment.

Her black cat mewls and presses their snout against the back of her head--Im alright vica,I just wish Russ came with me whenever we have celebrations, its something I dont want him to miss...but alas...--Her cat hissed and she snorted a chuckle-- dont be mad at him,our culture can be hard to digest

The cat rolled their eyes and sunk back into her backpack.

The wind hit her visor as she drove to cycle coast, she looked at the cloudy Sky, and sped up.

The drums could already be heard, jer chained her motorcycle to a post and Walked to the beach,there people in traditional terran wear danced with fans,banners and sticks, she sat amongst the crowd listening to the old woman talk.

Her hair was long,braids sprinkled about her hair, white as the moon,the traditional pristess robe, blue and black touched the sand and her long sleeves draped as she talked.

--Jerico...nice to see you could join Us.

Jerico smiled--Id never miss it

--did you bring your handsome boyfriend with you?

Jeri looked away--no,hes not really into our culture

The old womans brow furrow--such a shame...I wanted to meet him--she then perked up at the audience --You see, jerico has come here since she was a little trouble making bean about this tall--she puts her hand against her shoulder--so she heard this tale Many many times

When humans and gods lived along eachother--the elder pristess said-- and demons Ran amok at night,our goddess of death fell in love with one of those creatures.

She had Fallen for the King of the black demon hell, and had a child.

This is the child we'll talk about,in our books hes named xazo kazlaz or bell, it says that then elementus got wind of their relationshipp and they had to split.

About deaths son however.. she raised him to be the one that would guide the people to the afterlife...or hell navigating through the vast ocean of the dead with bells to guide him and Open the Doors to each realm...

Does anybody know why hes represented as an axolotl?--

Jerico raised her hand, and the pristess let her talk--because hes both a god and a demon, hes half and half like the axolotl that is an amphibian creature

The woman nodded-- very good,now lets commune back at the temple shall we?

As the people left, both the priestess and jeri were left alone,both Walked a bit distanced from the crowd.

--Thats one of my favourite stories you know zaivelaz

The woman smiled--I know thats why when I got your letter of you coming I changed it, its more interesting that the story of our patron goddess fighting over a piece of cheese

Jer started to laugh--Yeah that day was one hell of a day

Zaivelaz shook her head--Being a goddess amongst humans is hard?

--Like you have no idea,specially with my boyfriend,two of the people gods in my family had human partners and they...they died,im scared something similar Will happend to him

Her companion put a hand on jericos shoulder--It wont...I promise

--Thanks...zai

The steps along the floating bridge were Many,jeri couldnt help but wonder how it would be if adler was here.

She struggled so much with showing him her culture that it made her feel sad,then again one of the moral rules in Terras was not to force anyone,and she wouldnt break it.

She sat on the floor with the priestesses and closed her eyes interlocking her fingers as she softly whispered.

--Hey ozi...Been a while...--she sighed-- I left you some offerings by your statues feet, I know you dont like this sorta stuff...but ive missed you, a lot, just...just..tell eryz and abbadon that I love em..and that same goes to you..i love you aunt ozi

After the prayers it was time for the festival, jeri Spotted a young Man wearing all black, white eyes,and black hair in a bun.

The Man seemed to notice her as he ran to her,hugging her tightly.

--Abbadon!--She said kissing her cousins cheek--Ive missed you

Abbadon put his hand in his pockets--Ive missed you too...what I could not miss is this festival! All because of our family?, wow!

Jer giggled and offered her hand--Wanna dance?

--You bet!

Their feet moved in synch,the flags spun in circles as they danced.

Abbadon threw his banners and jeri catched him, and he hers.

They were enjoying themselves when the music stopped abruptly.

They Turned to see the people around them that were equally confused.

The musicians pointed at the huge tide approaching them.

Both demigod cousins stepped infront of the tide and stopped it as its about to break, they both looked at eachother and nodded.

Jeri pushed it to one side, and abbadon followed, the water splashed them and them only and nobody got hurt.

--Your mom needs to stop sending tides that could literally drown someone when she wants to send a sign...

Abbadon crouched putting his hands on his knees,batting his hand at his cousin--i tried... no way talking her out of It

The celebration ended with no further altercations, jerico went back home and took a quick warm shower to then collapse on the bed.

--Hes still with that fucking radio isnt he?...--She sighed giving up--why do I even try anymore?

The sun filtered through the blinds jerico groaned and opened her eyes,only to find her boyfriends spot on the bed empty.

She grunts and sits up, her cats sitting on her lap-- I know I know..--she picks them up and walks to the kitchen where she gives both of them their food.

Jeri felt a pair of arms hug her from behind, she sighs nuzzling into adlers chest.

--Good morning sweetheart

--Hey...

--Watcha cooking there?

--Bacon and eggs for you and a healthy terran breakfast for me

--Oh...good

Both ended up eating their breakfast in silence, Russell could tell there was something wrong with his girlfriend, he took her hand and she looked at him,those beautiful eyes he loved looking at were filled to the brim with sadness.

--babe...whats up?--He asked concerned.

--I just...wish you could come with me whenever we have festivals here--she said taking a bite from her waffle that had cream and pieces of caramelized fruit--its something I really really want you to participate in...but I know you dont like this sorta stuff and I wont force you

Adler sits back realizing what he had done, hes been neglecting a part of her that is important to her,those were her roots and he was stepping all over them.

He finished his breakfast and Walked over to her, lifting her up and hugging her--Im so sorry babe--he kissed her cheek-- I know this is important to you and i--

Jeri smiled kissing him again and cupping his cheeks--How about you come to todays festival in time temple with me huh?you dont have to wear our traditional attire,but I tell you it gets cold there

--Id love to, do I have to bring something?

--Not really, im going to make an offering though,it depends on the person

--perfect then...cant wait

Both smiled and kissed again.

The end of the day arrived quickly between work and chores to do.

Adler was waiting by the door fixing his leather jacket.

--How do I look?

Russ looks up at jerico and gasps--Very pretty

She smiled playing with the hem of her green turtle neck that had her shoulders peeking, her roman sandals clicked and clacked with every step she made.

The drive to time temple wasnt long, and luckily they arrived just in time for the story.

The elder priestess smiled when she saw jerico and nodded, proceeding to talk-- a long time ago, the second generation of dieties were born, they were meant to regulate life, amongst the three of them we find our patron goddess...chronos the incessant pass of time...

Elementus tasked a human to build a machine that could measure time, that is when the first sun clock was born,the human handed it to the Creator and with a sprinkle of magic the clock changed into a small girl, with short black hair, she had pale skin and two pale blue eyes, and from there,she was born.

Trained by elementus sister, Ray,the god of war...she then moved to her Realm where she measures time and the life of every being in existence..., from humans to animals and even objects, some say that she collects clocks of all kind and if.you want to meet her youll need to bring the rarest of clocks,of course, its all myths...or...are they?--the priestess finished her tale,and the offerings began.

Adler uncomfortably stayed behind as jeri prayed,she then Turned to him and ushered him to come closer.

--And this is my boyfriend, Russell

--Babe what are you doing?

--Introducing my aunt to you

--Your...aunt?

--Yeah ive told you like a month ago im half goddess..and this is my aunt...chronos

--I...I thought you were joking when you said that --Jeri Turned at her boyfriend with a face of pure disbelief,he hunched his back--Sorry...

--Anyway..chronos...hes my boyfriend Russell, I wish you were here to meet him...hes very sweet sometimes

--Sometimes?

She chuckled and kissed his cheek-- sometimes--she then Turned at the statue--i wish you were here to meet him, I really miss you--Adler gave her some space and sat back on the chair--i miss you and dad so much...--she stood up--Ill..ill see you later auntie chronos--she smiled and Walked over to adler hugging him.

The festival inside the temple was full of music and food of all kinds, and both came back home exhausted.

Adler maybe got a solid six ours of sleep before hes awaken by her girlfriends voice--Babe...babe wake up...

He smiled kissing her--Morning princess

--There you are,change quickly my family came to visit

His eyes Open wide --What?

--Yeah they are here, come on change

She patted his chest and Walked into the kitchen, where abbadon was setting the table.

Adler Walked in a few minutes later only to find two men and three women talking with her girlfriend,who noticed him and hugged him--Okay everyone, say hi to russel,Russell this is abbadon, this is chronos--she said pointing at the woman with short black hair and glasses-- those are my aunts eryz and ozi, aka the goddeses of life and death--

Adler was baffled at the normalcy jeri used when talking about her family,he looked at ozi,her black Long hair fell down to the floor, a scar along her left eye and she was wearing a long blue. sundress,eryz had short brown hair, using the same glasses as chronos was, she had vitiligo and was wearing a white shirtdress with a green fitted blazer--and this is my Dad,Raymond.

To say adler was scared shitless was an understatement,his father in law was wearing a black leather jacket,black jeans and boots,a white t-shirt and aviator sunglasses, he was also way taller than him,with his black hair pushed back and two scars on each side of his face,one under his right eye and one right on the left side of his jaw in the middle between his mouth and the spot where both jaw and neck meet.

Chronos laughed and softly elbowed Ray-- Raymond youre scaring the poor human

--He better treat my daughter alright..

Jeri smiled and kissed russel--Dont worry dad he does

They all sat to eat breakfast, adler seemed intimidated by the dietys around him,but slowly let his guard down, they were a pleaseant bunch in their own way, more human than hed like to think.

Sadly after breakfast they all had to leave.

After saying their goodbyes russel and jerico end up cuddling on the bed.

--Your family is nice--russel said as he ran his fingers through her hair.

--nexts to meet yours

He chuckled--Maybe

They kiss, and he hugs her waist enveloping her in a tight bear hug.

--I love you jer

--I love you too russ

#self insert #self ship #my f/os #self shipping #f/o x s/i #romantic f/o #f/o #f/o community #f/o fic #adler tag pending #longpost #long post #💛🌻annoying madonna fan��💛

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anticipatingevaporation · 7 years ago

Photo

hbd jessica

congrats on being super old and 21

also i’m so sorry re the horrid quality of these gifs but let me pls breakdown, each gif represents part of your personality. (also sidenote you say i’m only into white boys well LOOKIT THE WHOLE GIFSET IS WHITE BOYS)

1.dave franco, to signify your ugliness also he’s shaking his head that is me smh @ u always also my lack of understanding of what you see in the franco bros.

2. justin bieber, to remind you that that haircut was a thing so shame on you for liking bieber also as a symbol of your blindness and a reminder that one day i will steal your glasses just to laff at you being totally incompetent.

3. I TRIED TO BE AMBITIOUS AND MAKE YOU LAFF BY COMBINING HSM AND PANIC BUT IT FAILED SPECTACULARLY IM SORRY OK. but just to remind you that they are no longer together and all thats left is pee and the band is made up of actual randos i couldnt even find online also theyre indistinguishable emo white bois idg the appeal dude. but yes pls see that i tried, these things are impossible without photoshop dude

4. jughead, ( i was gonna put a pic of a jug and a head just to annoy you so youre welcome) just to remind you of your FAVE SHOW EVER also that gif makes me cringe so bad so just to put a bit of cringe in your bday also cos he looks like he’s sniffing like hes on drugs just to reiterate your weed dream i hope you get there one day dude just so i can witness you high

5. messi, just cos i figured you deserved one nice gif also cos you said soccer was the light of your life (aside from me ofc)

anyways hbd mango microwave, its been another year of you being my best frenemy and thru all the insults and lame puns i hope you know it comes from a place of love. im so glad i have someone like you to vent at and to just talk to when i need it and to roll my eyes at your pee snaps and enjoy stupid memes with. even tho you pretend like ginny is gonna replace me I KNO IT AINT GON HAPPEN WE GON BE OLD IN NURSING HOMES TOGETHER PACKING OUR WEBSTERS WITH ARTHIRITIS AND EVERYTHING. and you’ll never move to cairns or ill cri and get mad at you. i hope we stay friends forever and you continue to crush on ugly guys so i can bag you for it. also we should go to the aus open together so i can laugh at you yelling MOLIM like a crazy person.(even tho i’d be worse if feds was there tbh) ok sorry this message is as disorganized as my gifs i’m sorry! WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST IN YOUR ADULTHOOD MANGO MICROWAVE!! i know you will escape the evil clutches of pharmacy and do something sporty you enjoy and marry some good looking soccer boi yeee i believe in you. OK HAPPY BIRTHDAY THE CHRIS EVANS TO MY LEFT BOOB and THE JOEY TO MY CLEARLY SUPERIOR CHANDLER

also tim says: hi, happy birthday.

#jessieepham #HBD DUDE #i cant believe i left this to the last minute im so sorry #I RAGRET EV ERYTHING #im sorry this is awful #I WILL BE BETTER NEXT YEQAR I PROMISE #oh #man my typos aqre getting out of hand #ok i should stop #HBD BRO

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teamkaiforever · 8 years ago

Photo

I BELIEVE IN YOU

(requested by @toriar1019 )

word count : 3 884 summary : Kai fights the siren’s mind control because of his feelings for Reader. * gif by phantom-evil __________________________ A week. That’s how long Y/N and her friends tried everything to open the Vault at the Armoury to get back Kai and Damon. None of them was prepared to find the Vault completely empty , none of them could figure out how they got out. Y/N had thought the anguish she had felt during that time was too much but what came next broke her completely. Three months went by before there was even a hint about what Damon and Kai might be up to. Things only got worse from there. Being separated had always been hard , but this time it was different. Kai wasn’t on some trip for a few days somewhere. There wasn’t a way to find them with a locator spell or anything. It took Y/N and her friends month to track them down and eventually find them at an abandoned slaughter house after a victim was found. Stefan and Y/N had gone there and had tried to get them back the same second they found them , but things hadn’t gone according to plan. Seeing Kai had been enough to put the pieces of her heart together again and shatter it completely right after specially after hearing Kai say ‘I don’t love you and I never have. Go before I rip your throat out.’ Those words echoed in her mind and they cut deeper than any knife ever could , even though she knew he hadn’t meant a syllable. Kai’s eyes had betrayed him , the way he had held onto her hand for a few seconds before pushing her away - he had done it on purpose to get her to leave. Y/N never gave up hope and seeing him only made her more determined to get him back , no matter what she had to do or who she’d have to go through to make it happen. Kai couldnt believe what his life had been turned into the past few months. He had spent years trying to be better and learn to control his blood thirst after he turned , had a girl who loved him enough to risk her own life more than once just to save him and just when he was about to get everything he ever wanted he got himself into this mess. All of this had ruined helping people for him. Worst part of it all was that no matter how much he fought , there was no way out. Kai was stuck with Sybil and his least favourite person on this planet who had tried more than once to kill him. It had been months since Kai had been with Y/N and he had wanted to go back for her so many times but knew if Sybil found out about her , his girl would end up dead or worse. He couldnt let that happen. “What is he doing?” asked the siren. Damon glanced at him. Kai was sitting not too far away from them with some paper in his hands , reading or more like pretending to read so he doesn’t have to think about the things he had done in order to keep Sybil distracted and keep his girl safe. Y/N – he suppressed a smile , just her name was enough to make him happy but he couldn’t let it show. He closed his eyes and he could see her smile , even hear her voice sometimes. “Catching up on current events.” said Kai indifferently. “The mysterious disappearances are drawing too much attention. Think you can cut back on red meat a bit ?” Sybil rolled her eyes. “I spent a better part of a thousand years trapped in a Vault. So no , and who are you to tell me what to do ?” Kai sighed. He was getting tired of being an evil minion , finding her 'evil people’ to eat , not to mention how fighting the siren’s mind control was getting harder each day. However he was doing better than Damon , who was flying on full cruise control. His least favourite Salvatore didn’t even remember who Elena was now , thats how much Sybil had messed with his head. Kai would rather die than have his memories of Y/N twisted or replaced with new versions. “No one , apparently.” he said with a smirk. “I’m going out to grab a snack. Blood bags just dont do it for me as you well know.” “Fine , but dont go too far.” said the siren. “There is a housewife living in the house next door , bet she is delicious.” “Thanks for the offer, but I prefer my blood a little younger.” said Kai walking past them. “I’m going to look for a cheerleader at the high school or some confused teen at a bar. Oh or a sorority girl. Who knows what I’d find.” After all those months they were finally close by Mystic Falls. About two weeks ago when he had briefly seen Y/N for the last time , it had been so hard fighting the urge to pull her into his arms , suffocate her with kisses and never let go of her again. The look in her eyes , how they had lit up when she saw him - it was all seared into his mind. In that moment he had felt happy again but then came the look of hurt when he had said all those horrible things to push her away for her own safety. Y/N was stubborn as hell , more determined than ever - it had been his only option to get her to go. Kai had never been more afraid of his feelings for the brave human girl than in this moment. Even after the merge with Luke , he hadnt been that shaken of everything he was feeling. Just the thought of her getting hurt in any way was enough to send him in a really dark place. There was no life for him without her and he was sure if she died , he’d die with her. Sybil kept digging in his mind and he knew at some point she’d uncover Y/N’s existence. There was only one thing left he could do to protect her , as painful as it might be for the both of them. After all this mess was over he’d go and find her , move away with her, start a new. Kai walked into town , knowing her daily routine hoping nothing had changed and she’d still be going to work at the Grill. He stood a few hundred metres away waiting for her and just like always at the exact same time every Tuesday - there she was. More beautiful than ever with a look of determination on her face. A gust of wind blew out of nowhere (or more like Kai manipulated the weather) and she turned towards him. The look on her face changed between shock , surprise , caution , surprise and love – sticking to the last one. Her eyes widened and she ran towards him not even paying attention to traffic or cars or anything or anyone else in general. “Kai!” said Y/N running directly into his arms. “H-how are you here ? Why are you here?” Kai pulled her towards him , tighter than ever and smiled at her. He could see in her eyes she knows something was wrong with him. Did he really look as broken on the outside as he felt on the inside? he wondered. His hands cupped her face and he kissed her gently for a few seconds. The young heretic couldn’t believe after everything he had said , Y/N had ran towards him like that instead of going the other way , how she hadn’t yelled at him or slapped him or anything. “I’m sorry Y/N … I should’ve never gone to that Vault.” said Kai softly, his voice filled with sadness and regret. “I am sorry for what I said to you a few days ago too. We had ears on us –” “I knew you didn’t mean it.” she smiled widely at him , not willing to let go off him or move more than half an inch away. “Whats going on Kai ?” Y/N gazed into his eyes - he looked different - broken , crushed. The way he had pulled her towards him , as if letting go of her would mean his death both scared her and made her happy. Whatever was happening it was probably worse than she had thought. “I … I literally cannot say.” he sighed. Y/N looked at him with a puzzled expression.”No , I mean it – whenever I try to say out loud whats going on it comes out all giberish.” “Doesn’t matter , as long as you are here. Come on , lets go home —” “I cant.” said Kai. “I want to , more than anything but I — cant. You need to leave town. Now.“ he said with a serious look. "Go home , pack up your things and leave. It’s not safe for you here.” “Leave ?! No. Not without you.” protested Y/N. “I – the siren keeps digging inside my memories , trying to find what I am holding on to.” said Kai , cupping her face. “There is no way to stop her. Her neck gets snapped and she comes back to life 5 seconds later. If something happens to you -” “- I’ll die if something happens to you.” she said pressing her lips onto his. Kai pulled her towards him , kissing her as if its the last time he’d ever kiss her. “For once in your life, do as I say.” he demanded. “Don’t make me compell you to forget all about me.” Y/N took a step away from him. Kai wouldn’t compell her , he wouldn’t go that far. Never. Though this desperate look in his eyes made her feel nervous. She understood he wanted to protect her , like always but he wouldn’t cross that line. “You wouldn’t…” “We both know I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you. Even if it means losing you.” Tears had started gathering in her eyelids just thinking how just when she finally got him back , he wants her to go away. No way. There was another way to get him to go with her , because there is no version of her life without him — and that way was walking towards them in that moment. “Okay – I’ll leave.” she sighed in defeat. Kai looked at her with a mix of surprise and heartbreak in his eyes clearly not expecting her to give in that easily and dreading losing her again. “But you are coming with me.” she finished , seeing Stefan behind Kai , holding a vervain syringe. A few moments later Kai dropped unconscious. “Thanks for that Stef.” “Yeah. Don’t mention it.” replied the Salvatore, holding Kai’s body. “I suggest you two get out of town. Alaric is working on finding out what that instrument is and how it helps us kill the siren. As soon as we figure it out , our lives would go back to normal or as normal as they were before all this.” “What is normal anyways?” she wondered. With Stefan’s help she got Kai onto the backseat of her car. Y/N put the keys in the ignition and drove off as fast as she could not giving a damn about the speeding limits or red lights or anything. Her eyes kept darting between the road and the review mirror , looking at Kai on the back seat. Everything was fine until they passed old Miller Road and he started to wake up screaming in pain , holding his head in his hands. “Y/N… stop the car.” he groaned rolling around the backseat. “No. We — we are leaving. There has to be a way to get you away from her and out of her control.” “I - I can’t l-leave.” he groaned and reached his hand stopping the car with magic. Y/N hit the gas pedal again , tried the ignition but none of it worked - the car had stopped in the middle of the road. A groan of frustration left her lips. What had the siren did to him ? Kai got out of the car and started walking back into town. Quickly she unbuckled her seat belt and ran after him , catching up in a few metres. Seeing him in pain broke her heart , even more noticing the tears in his eyes. He kept rubbing his forehead , groaning in pain. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders making him look at her. “Kai , whats happening ? Tell me.” “I am too far away from her. She is p-pulling me back.” said Kai taking another step towards town. “Get in the car and go before she finds you -” “You are stronger than this Kai. You can fight it –” “I’ve been fighting it for months now … ” “Don’t stop. I will help you. We’ll find a way to break the link , I promise.” Kai laughed under his breath. “You can’t help me Y/N. I know you love me and want to help but - ” “Well , well , well…” said a young woman with short brown hair and brown eyes , standing a few steps away from them. “I was wondering how you keep resisting my control. Pity this girl didn’t listen when you told her to leave. Damon , if you may –” Damon grabbed Y/N before Kai had had time time to react , holding her in a tight grip ready to snap her neck at a moments notice. Kai tried to get to her but the siren hummed some tune and he stopped in his tracks , visibly struggling to get to his girl. “Now , Kai.” said the siren taking a step towards the young heretic who was trying hard to fight her influence and move. “If you don’t want anything awful to befall your girlfriend –” “Fiance.” he corrected quietly. “– then you are going to do exactly as I say. Both you and Damon are quite resourceful when it comes to picking victims but I think you’ll be a lot more committed when there is nothing holding you back. So , I am giving you a choice.” Y/N watched Kai stare at the ground , refusing to meet the siren’s eyes. His hands were shaking and she knew that look very well. Under any other circumstance at this point , whoever had gotten in his way would have had their throat ripped out or their head would’ve rolled on the ground. It was a look Y/N hadn’t seen in almost 4 years and made her blood freeze. Her fiance was angry , hurt and scared and whenever one of those emotions took over things always ended badly. Y/N didn’t care what would happen to her , but she worried about what the siren wants Kai to do. “What kind of a choice?” he asked. “Shut off your humanity and come with me or watch your fiance die.” said the siren , pausing for a moment. “You know what – maybe I will make it more interesting and make you kill her. Imagine this - having to live with the guilt of killing the one person who you love more than anything.” “Don’t — don’t do this to him.” pleaded Y/N , stepping on Damon’s foot with force in an attempt to get free. The vampire growled in her ear. “Let me go Damon or I swear … I’ll get to that coffin and burn Elena’s body myself.” “Elena ? Who’s – who’s Elena?” asked Damon. Y/N gulped. If the siren could erase Elena’s existence from Damon’s mind then what could she have done to Kai ? Sybil laughed. “I see why you love her. Maybe if she was a supernatural I would’ve taken her with us. ” she paused for a moment. “I still can , find a way to taint her soul and kill her , making sure she’ll end up in Hell.” she thought out loud with an amused look. “So , what’s it going to be - are you coming with me or does your pretty girl gets to die ?” “No.” said Kai. “It’s really not a choice , honey. Turn it off. ” “No.“ repeated Kai. “We’ll have to do this the hard way then.” sighed Sybil and grabbed his head , closing her eyes. Kai could feel her digging in his mind , trying to find something else against him. He tried hard not to think about any of the moments he and Y/N had shared so the siren can’t modify them like she did to Damon’s memories of Elena but seeing his girl struggle to get free from the vampire’s grasp pulled one of the memories to the surface of his mind. "Interesting.“ muttered the siren , slipping into one of his memories. "I have to say - that must be one of your best works. Taking your entire family down with you. It’s one of the reasons Cade wanted you. Now why is this memory so important to you—” Kai stood by the entrance , watching himself walking through the wedding disaster struggling because of the werewolf bite. Bonnie showed up a few moments later but he wasn’t paying attention to that , the other him was dealing with that. He was watching out one of the windows , knowing any moment now he’d see Y/N heading towards the barn. Her dress was covered with blood and her hair was messier than ever. Bonnie flew across the room towards one of the walls and Damon showed up shortly after. Kai sat at the podium , playing with a rose in his hands while talking with the vampire. A few moments later Damon left and Kai saw himself looking around with confusion in his eyes. Then he heard it - the sound of one of Alaric’s compressed air weapons. He turned in the direction of the sound seeing Y/N and then Damon laying on the ground with a piece of wood plunged in his back. “What ? No 'thank you'for saving your life ?” she said blowing a strand of hair out of her face. Y/N reached for his hand , instead Kai pulled her into his arms for a few seconds. “Lets go before he wakes up.” “One moment … ” said Kai , biting his wrist and rushing to Bonnie’s side. “Don’t you ever forget this Bon Bon.You didn’t really think I’d let you die did you ?” Y/N grabbed his hand and both of them run out of the barn. Somehow she was running faster than him and he had a hard time catching up with her. A few moments later he stopped abruptly making her stop too. "Why would you save me ?“ "Because — you are not this monster. You are good and – I can’t let the person I love die. ” “What ?” he asked with a hint of surprise in his voice. “I love you Kai. You are my future and you can push me away all you want but even if you don’t let yourself see it or feel in general — ” she said softy , placing her palm on his cheek. “ — I know that you see the same. It’s in your eyes — ” Kai pulled her into his embrace , holding her tighter than ever unable to believe that after all the things he had done , including a few hours ago there was someone still believing in him , carrying about him and loving him. “I love you too Y/N.” he said smiling resting his forehead on hers. "Ohhh , I see.“ said Sybil , twisting his memory and replacing Y/N’s face with hers. Kai looked at her with a small smile on his face , tucking in a lock of hair behind her ear. Sybil smiled at him innocently and leaned in to kiss him. "Nice try. You are not her and I am not as weak as Damon.” said Kai , snapping her neck in a few moments later.

Sybil opened her eyes , clenching her jaw. The siren hadn’t expected the young heretic to be that strong. Damon had resisted her but she had been stronger , this was new. “Well , that was unexpected. Shall we try this again ?” “You can try all you want Sybil.” said Kai with a smirk. “I’m not Damon and I am not the monster you want me to be. I’m not this person anymore.” “Ahh that’s right.” said the siren smiling wickedly. “Because you love this fragile human girl and your feelings for her are stronger than your blood lust. Shame , she would’ve looked beautiful in a wedding gown. Damon — how would you feel about a snack?” Damon grinned , purple black veins flashing under his eyes and his fangs sank in Y/N’s neck. The girl screamed , dug her nails in Damon’s hands kicked and tried everything to get free but it was useless. Kai took a step towards them but Sybil hummed another tune forcing him to watch as the life drained from the girl he loved. The only person who ever gave him a real chance even before the merge was dying and he couldn’t even move his finger. “Let her go.” said Kai. “I’ll — I’ll do what you ask just let her go.” “Kai , don’t. You are stron-ger than you think. Fight – it.” said Y/N struggling to speak. Kai looked into her eyes , her lips forming four words 'I believe in you’. He struggled , feeling Sybil trying to sneak into his mind again and get him to let go , but it didn’t matter - all he could hear and see was Y/N. His eyes closed for a moment and he found the strength to flick his wrist snapping Damon’s neck , raising his other hand pulling out Sybil’s heart out of her chest with magic. The moment the siren dropped on the ground his mind cleared and he ran towards his girl , biting his wrist bringing it to her lips. “Don’t you dare die Y/N.” said Kai smiling nervously. ��Not now …. not ever.” Y/N wrapped her fingers around his wrist feeling his warm blood trickle down her throat. A sigh left Kai’s lips and he caressed her face , placing a soft kiss on her forehead. Her eyes opened and she pulled herself up unitl he wrapped his strong arms around her. “You did it.” she smiled widely at him. “Only because of you. ” he said softly. “Though that wont last for long unless your buddies figure out a way to hold her down. Until then –” “– get in the car with me and we drive as far and fast away as we can.” she finished with a hopeful expression on her face. Kai smiled widely at her. “Pick a destination , sweetheart.” MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

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