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pt-disconnected · 2 years ago

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With the Dark World seeming to crumble around them, the Player was honestly terrified- as were their allies. Everything seemed out of place- the Card Castle was falling apart as parts of it were replaced with rooms that were from the school, collapsing in on itself. And the Knight was there, laughing. "You fools... so focused on a pawn that you forgot to block the checkmate! And now the game is over!" he said, grinning madly.

The Player looked around, trying to find something- anything- that would get them somewhere. And as they saw a path into the Light World, they grabbed hold of one of the Ralsei variants. "Hold on, guys!" they said, triggering a split-second reaction for the six to grab each other, and Lancer of course. Lancer, trailing at the end, also gave a warning. "G- guys?! That guy is chasing us! What'd you do to make him this mad..?! What's happening to the castle?!" the prince said, confused. But the Player didn't look back. "No time! We'll try and explain soon!" they said, before pulling the six out of the Dark World and into the Light World- without them turning into their respective objects.

This terrified the Ralsei group. Lairse, for one, was enraged. "This... this isn't supposed to be possible! The darkness is merged with the light- no fountain, light or dark, should be able to do that!" he shouted, albeit still in the line led by the Player.

The Player, however, had a focus on their goal. "We need to find Kris. Odds are, they might be able to put a few pieces together. And with what we learned from that guy- I'm not even gonna bother with his name- we might have a shot at figuring out what we need to do."

The group nodded, including Lancer- though he was a bit exhausted. "H- hey, lemon-lime..? C- could I just tag along in your pocket..? I'm not really... the running type..." he said, panting some. The Player sighed. "Yeah, that's fine. I can't be losing you in this mess- Susie would kill me." they say, to which Lancer ran over (conveniently regaining enough energy to do so) and hopped in. Seems the inventory logic of the Dark World had blended through as well.

With Lancer tucked away, safe in the Player's pockets, the group of seven made their way to Kris' house via the Player's lead. Around them, monsters and Darkners of all kinds were panicking, with humans emerging from the rifts connecting the Dark World to the Light World. But these seven were focused on the task at hand.

As they approached the house in question, three figures emerged. Kris, Toriel, and then one more who looked surprisingly like the Ralseis- to his complete confusion. Kris and Toriel were also a bit shocked- especially Kris, as Ralsei was currently in the Light World, something that shouldn't have been possible.

The first one to speak was Kris. "P- Player, what are you doing here?! And what's with Ralsei and the others?! You all should still be in the Dark World- especially them!" they said, referring to the Ralsei group at the end. But the Player shook their head. "This is a massive emergency situation, Kris. Things have gone haywire on both ends. We need to get Susie and Noelle... and probably Berdly as well. I'm not sure what's going on myself, but this is a very bad situation, and that's best case. Worst case... this could be the end of your worlds. And, possibly mine if things go really south."

Asriel spoke up. "Um, sorry to interrupt, but who are you..? And why are there... uh, six more of me?!" he said, completely baffled. Toriel sighed. "Azzy, there's a lot to explain. I'm lucky to have been filled in on the situation myself, especially when things weren't so sudden. We should find Susie, Noelle, and Berdly first, then we can try and sort things out..."

Ralsei nodded, as did the rest of the Asriels- including, well, Asriel himself. Asriel, for one, was surprised at the synchronicity he had with them, but shrugged it off. "Okay. We'll need to split up to find them- but I think we can handle this." he said. "But we also need to ensure everyone's safety."

Kris looked to their adopted mother. "Mom, you know Mayor Holliday, and she trusts you. You'd be best to get Noelle." The Player, in turn, looked to Kris. "Okay, Kris, you might be able to get Susie. I don't know for sure how well it'd go- but you should be able to find her best. Here- take Lancer. That should be enough to prove the intensity of the situation." they say, pulling Lancer out of their pocket (to the shock of both Toriel and Asriel). Lancer just looked around a bit, and chuckled. "Wow, nice castle you got, Kris! Maybe someday I can see what kinds of holes it's got!" he said, before Kris just smiled a little, putting Lancer right into their own pocket.

Looking to Asriel, along with his six other selves, Player sighed. "Asriel, we'll need you to ensure this place is safe. These six should be able to help with that- just make sure this place is safe for when we get back." they say, to which Asriel just looks toward them. "...How do I know I can trust you, though..?" Both Kris and Toriel, however, nodded some, with Toriel speaking. "You can trust them, Azzy. It might be crazy- but there's something different about them. And they've proved themselves. So just work with them."

Asriel sighed, and nodded. "Okay. I'll do my best." Though, Kris spoke next. "Wait, what about Berdly? Who'll find him?" they asked. The Player sighed. "I'm gonna have to try and find them. I'm not sure, but they might be in the library- I just hope that they're all safe. But we need to move, and we'll need to move fast. There's no telling what might happen."

The group all nodded, and began working on their respective tasks. Kris began making their way towards the general apartment complex in the town- and odds were, Susie would be out and about with the chaos going on. Toriel made her way towards the Holliday residence. The seven Asriel variants began work on a sort of base, trying to make the Dreemurr house into a decent place for them to keep themselves safe. And, the Player was making their way towards the library of the town- where Berdly would hopefully be.

But on the way, they wound up plowing face-first into a large, admittedly fluffy monster. They fell backwards, and upon looking up, found themselves staring straight at a startled, albeit armed, Asgore. They immediately put their arms up. "Wait! I don't mean any harm!" they said, knowing how the Light World residents saw the humans. Asgore, however, was just confused. "Wait, what..? Human, what's going on? Tell me now!" he said, starting out confused but quickly getting his weapon, a gardening rake, readied. The Player nodded some. "Okay, I can try to tell you... it's gonna be a bit unbelievable but I think with what's going on you might be willing to believe it... heck if you want I can get you to a safe place, but I need to get to someone- it's a long story, but please, PLEASE believe me. I'm not trying to hurt anyone..."

Asgore glared into eyes of the Player for a few moments, before sighing and allowing them up. "Okay. I believe you. Tell me where to go, and I will meet you there..." he said. The Player got up, slower than they would have normally. "Go back to Kris' place... they should be able to explain when they get back. It'll be a crazy story but this is already crazy as it is. I'll be back soon..." they said, and Asgore's only reply was a nod, before he started to run towards the house. Out of the corner of their eye, the Player also noticed Kris with Susie, as well as Lancer piggybacking on Susie's shoulders. That was good timing.

So they continued on their way to the library- but what they saw honestly terrified them. It wasn't entirely a library anymore- a tree that looked straight out of a pop-up book had grown through the roof, with Berdly on one of the branches. Upon seeing the Player, he called down to them. "Player! Help! I'm not used to this! I don't want to be a normal bird right now!" he said, admittedly getting a small chuckle out of the Player, before they refocused on the situation.

They quickly tried to find something that would break the fall- before noticing a nearby Darkner that was conveniently just an oversized pillow. As such, they quickly approached. "Hey, I need your help really quick. I know it's strange, but you need to break my friend's fall- are you able to do that safely?" they asked. Shockingly, they nodded- turns out they had been doing that for other Darkners too. As such, they went over to the spot where Berdly would probably land.

Unfortunately, it wasn't just that easy. Berdly was still clinging to the branch, not wanting to let go. "I can't fall that far down! I'd PERISH! This isn't the Dark World, where a single pillow would nullify all the fall damage!" he said, clearly afraid of heights. The Player just sighed. "Berdly, there's no distinction between the two right now! Whatever it is that's going on has messed up the rules of reality! Think of it as a glitch- fall damage isn't working right because of it!" they said. So Berdly gulped, closed his eyes, and dropped right onto the pillow-Darkner. Getting up, he looked at himself, and let out a sigh of relief and did a fist pump- before the Darkner asked for him to get off of them, which he did.

With Berdly back in the group, the Player now chose to make their way back to the Dreemurr house- Berdly not far behind. As they approached, the two could see Asgore and Toriel, actually talking. It was strange, but it seemed that the dire circumstances were allowing them to interact... somewhat normally. And with Toriel back, that meant Noelle had arrived as well. But to the Player's surprise, there was a second one there with her- another reindeer monster who seemed to be just a bit older than Noelle, and dressed in an outfit much like that of Noelle's Dark World outfit, except it was a light blue instead of white. She seemed to be talking with Noelle, as well as Susie and Kris, and when Susie saw the Player approaching, she pointed them out. Kris quickly went over, with Noelle and the other reindeer monster staying back for the time being.

Kris looked to Berdly. "Berdly, you got any idea what's going on?" The bluebird shook his head. "Not in the slightest, aside from the obvious. Why? You don't know either?" Kris shook their head. "Just checking to see if we needed to explain. Regardless, now that everyone's together, we need to get a sort of plan. Dad was worried for Mom, and Dess wound up finding out about things because her outfit changed, so they're getting an explanation of things from before."

The Player sighed. "Okay, once those explanations are done, I think me, Ralsei, and the rest of Asriel's alternate selves have some stuff to explain too. Turns out that the Knight had us all fooled. I don't know how we could have stopped him in the first place anymore."

Kris groaned, concerned but clearly not wanting to think on it too much. "Okay. Tell us later. Right now, we've got a lot to work on. At least we have another two in our team for now. I don't know where we'll go from here, but... I think once Azzy and the Ralseis finish getting the house fortified more, we can get things hashed out more calmly. For now, we should just get you introduced to Dad and Dess. That way, they don't mistake you for one of the other humans who seem to be... not as happy about what's going on."

The Player simply nodded. "Got it. Let's get that done."

Whoa, what's this? Part 20?! And I hadn't even done a Anon Asks yet!! Seems that things really have gone into chaos. And this is a nice, larger part too. I personally am unsure of the quality of it but if you guys all enjoy it then that's what matters to me. I certainly want to aim for quality as well in the end. So now we've had two parts in the span of one week (not in terms of a calendar, I mean two parts in seven days), and honestly I'm happy about that. I have a few ideas for where to go from here, and those vary wildly in all honesty. Depending on how I can work with Azzy being part of the story, as well as the new additions (hehe!) we might be seeing a variety of things. Could be new stuff, could be rewritten old stuff, could be stuff happening in the background of old stuff. There's even another option that you might be able to figure out if you hunt it down. Pgp lkwbak isow mqgba abj wep, xxnr zme isrbpn waabec penrxnm ezp isr zga. Qkz bbnpaan lka nzptpe fg lka dtqu uip rexmo abj bouznn royew nu mp. Md do ritnazzm vwzm pgc yafigapne pso htwe, tobp pso lmeeyo abj opzcg mqbpnjp. Hopefully you all enjoy this additional part of the story, and whatever else is soon to be! I'll see you all in whatever comes next, be it the next Anon Asks, or another part should I manage to pull more motivation out of thin air! Previous Part | First Part | Next Part LynxGriffin's Paper Trail Comic (Whoa, a completely original segment! Shocking! Check out the comic anyways though, you might find something that might be intriguing- there's all sorts of stuff in there that inspires these story segments!)

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inbabylontheywept · 5 months ago

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Soviet Birds.

The secret facility that I work in has holes in the ceiling. We don't know how to get them fixed.

We tried asking the government to fix it, once. We told them that the holes in the older parts of the facility had gotten large enough to fit birds through, and that birds were getting through, and that, perhaps, a Soviet Spy could fit through as well.

After all, it is well known that Soviet Spies and pigeons are approximately the same diameter.

Our hope was that that this vague and nonsensical threat would put a little fire under Uncle Sam's feet. If the fed couldn't be bothered to give a shit about the giant gaping holes in the roof of our facility, perhaps they could be persuaded to give a shit about... Soviet Spies.

This attempt at manipulation 100% blew up in our faces.

See, the government does not need to be persuaded to give a shit about Soviet Spies. It still wakes up most nights, drenched in cold sweat, terrified and confident that a Soviet Spy is hiding in their nightstand. If it sees a rock on the ground, it flips it over, pistol drawn, ready to shoot the Soviet Spy it fully expects to slither out from underneath. Which is to say: The government is crazy. So when we dropped those two words - inflitration risk - in the repair request, they came in guns-a-blazin'.

Does that mean that they fixed the roof? Of course not. Don't be stupid. No, instead of performing basic maintenance, they installed a state of the art alarm system throughout the facility - lasers, sonar, the works - and told us to always be on the guard. Because of the roof holes.

Then they left.

So now we had an extremely good alarm system... and birds. Which have combined in incredibly obvious and predictable ways to produce an unending fountain of problems.

For Example: About once a month, someone gets called in by the local airforce dispatch because AAAAAAAAAAA a Spy is in the Rad Lab! We're all gonna die! Except every time, it's a bird. And I get why we have to check, but every time, the dispatcher is panicked and the person going out has to be like listen, listen: It's a bird. It's always a bird. It's been a bird every month for the last fifteen years. It will be a bird next month. All this stress? Bad for your heart.

Second Example: Sometimes, birds get in while we're actually working. And when it's in the morning, you know, it's a nuisance, and it stops testing (we are not going to risk irradiating a bird) but it's not an all-hands-on-deck situation because it doesn't take ten hours to get a bird out. But surprisingly often, the bird gets in riiiiight at closing time, and in that situation, everyone goes feral because nobody can leave until the alarm is set, and we cannot set the alarm while the bird is there, because the bird would immediately trigger it and then we'd have to stay another 4 hours to confirm that it was not a Soviet Bird.

So in order to go home, everyone's top priority is Get That Bird. And we have a system for it.

Step 1: The test stands tend to be located in rooms with 30+ foot ceilings. We can't catch birds in places like that - so we have to lure the bird into the relatively low ceilinged (8 feet only) upper offices.

We do this by turning all the lights off in the test rooms, then putting floodlights by the exits. I don't know why this works - some kind of evolutionary brain fragment shared by both Bugs and Birds - but work it does. The birds almost always follow after the lights. From there, it’s just two guys moving the floodlight and a third guy to turn off the lights.

Step 2: Everyone else has been waiting for this step. There is this long stairway up from the basement level into the offices, and in the final stage, the floodlights are brought to the base of the stairwell to bring the bird up. At the top of the steps there will be a group of tennish people, waiting for the signal. The light guys will set up the final transfer, everyone will tense, and then, swish...a bird will flit up the stairs and into the offices.

It's like watching werewolves on a full moon. Before the bird cometh, we are engineers. Nerds. Pale and skinny things, trembling under the fluorescent lights. After the bird, we are beasts. Feral, gnawing things, glowing under the orange sunrise of the 70's halogen floodlights.

And like all beasts, we cannot help but give chase.

Step 3: The were-engineers begin the hunt. The goal at the start is not really to catch the bird - just exhaust it. So the pack simply does not relent. Because the stakes are going home on time, the group is basically given free reign to go anywhere in the building. If someone's door is open, and the bird goes inside, they're going to have to deal with ten sweaty panting maniacs leaping around their office. They don't get to say that they're busy, or remark on how all this movement is a terrible distraction. They are allowed to sit in silence during the chaos, and perhaps thank the war party for chasing the bird while they sat comfortably on their ass. This has been explained several times, and it will continue to be explained until cooperation is achieved.

Anyway.

The chase can go on for quite some time. Sometimes, the bird will get tired and find a crevice to hide in, where it can then be reached through standard cornered-bird catching techniques.

Other times, it will slow down enough that someone can actually yoink it out of the air. But this will go on until someone catches the bird and triggers Step 4.

Step 4: The Finale. This is the get-the-bird-out-of-the-building stage, and it requires someone to adopt a specific role: To Become the Sacrificial Vessel of Bird Removal.

This job is both coveted and feared. It's coveted, because holding a wild bird in one's hands is a precious thing. To feel how small, and fragile, and scared it is, only to free it from the building? That is what it's like to be a benevolent God. But the cost! Oh, the cost. The entire time the Vessel is in motion, the bird will be biting the hell out of their fingers. And I cannot emphasize enough just how painful bird bites are. Their entire face is a set of needle posed pliers, and they know tricks the even the cartels haven't figured out yet. So there's always a little hubbub about who shall be The Vessel while onlookers, stranded outside The Office of Bird Capture, can only look on. Quiet arguments and pleas are heard, little fragments of fear and pride and glory trickling out of room like the silver dust left behind in a bag of well shook quarters. The sound of concensus is silence, and the argument will go on until that's all that's left. And then, from the darkness of the final office, the chosen sacrifice will step forward: Hands gently cupped, tears streaming down their face, fingers trembling from the pain of the ongoing bird chomps.

And this scene is what organizes people. Not leadership, not truly. No one can think and coordinate a crowd while their fingers are being attacked with a combination nutcracker/ear piercer. But the crowd sees the suffering of their annointed, and it is driven to do everything poossible to make the process flow. People instinctively flair out, finding the fastest path outside. Doors are held open. Paths are cleared. Someone, somehow, always knows the way forward and can describe it to the sufferer. Left, left, forward. Corner closet. Yep, there's a hall in there. Forward. Two-hundred more feet man, you're doing great. Just hold it together a little longer. You're killing it.

Then the final door swings open, and the bird flees out into what remains of daylight. And yet, even here, the deed is not yet done. I cannot explain it in words, but the crowd that helped is never content until they can see and speak on the Bird Vessel's wounds. They all have to pull the fingers back and see what was given. Estimate the price: One day to get better - No, three - No, a week! Are you blind? Do you see that blood blister? -Yeah, that's not going away anytime soon - Damn, can you believe how feisty those things are? Like wolves without teeth.

(They cannot help but touch as they go. It has always been this way. Even Thomas was not content until he felt the wounds in Christ's hands.)

Only when the last of the helpers has seen, and commented, and commended, will the engineers scatter. It is their return from the underworld that announces to the sun living surface dwellers that they too can go home. (@somerunner tolja it needed to be a post.)

#DoD work #lab nonsense #soviet birds #i really like being the bird guy if you cant tell #i just like birds in general #i think this was an essay?#dont really know how to cover the ending for this thing #one part explanation of insane government inefficiency #one part explanation of the kind of joyful humanity that only *comes* from interacting with hilariously inefficient systems #like a full on defense of the beauty that only comes from poor uses of resources #and one part poetic exploration of the sacrificial hero archetype as a bird catcher #i spent so much fuckin time make this guys you have no idea #maximum effort post #effort post

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