#this pain that just wont stop and will never stop because why the hell would it stop im losing my best friend and love of my life

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

[actual-changeling]

This post is going to show you the EXACT moment that tear forms with indisputable evidence that consists of several screencaps, detail shots, and slowed down video proof, which will be at the very end.

The tear and I are getting married, her name is Trina and I love her.

Let's get right into it. Be prepared for uh. Very painful facial expressions! And tears (at the end).

We're going to look through the final fifteen chronologically with pit stops at important emotional points that I think would make sense to cause a tear.

As you can see, we go into this argument with mostly dry eyes, a little glistening here and there but those are NOT tears. Probably just the contacts plus the lack of blinking making his eyes a bit more moist than your usual pair. The tear will be obvious.

Obvious disbelief when Aziraphale tells him about the Metatron's bullshit, yes, but Crowley soldiers on through.

Now a scene that I personally thought would be most likely to cause tears - "tell me you said no". However - his eyes stay dry! Both before and after Aziraphale's non-answer. No tears.

The best spot to look at is his waterline, and as you can see it's free of any sad tears.

We have reached the "go off together" stage, Crowley is yelling, they're both emotionally perturbed, a very good foundation for tears. Yet when you look at his eyes during and right after, they're still dry!

We are now right before Crowley says "you can't leave this bookshop" and when he does BOOM the tear is suddenly there!

This is what our tear looks like, and we have a very narrow time frame during which it can appear. So it is time for the grand reveal because by now you're probably yelling at me "okay but WHEN does it show up??"

I will tell you. Or rather, I will show you first and then tell you what Aziraphale said right before that triggered it. Ready?

There it is. Left - no tear. Right - tear. (no i will not make the trivago joke again i want to but i wont.)

Come with me! To heaven! I'll run it, -> no tear yet. It appears after the next part.

you can be my second in command THAT is what causes the tear to finally show up. Right as Aziraphale finishes his sentence you can watch as it appears.

As promised, here is the video evidence, slowed down by half and zoomed in on Crowley's face at the end.

Alright, have you seen enough tears? Good! Let's look at the emotional reason. Because your question is probably what is so special about that sentence that it tips Crowley over the edge?

That one sentence, that one "promise" Aziraphale makes him, destroys everything. All of it in one go.

It is not just about Aziraphale choosing heaven over him, it's not about him saying no to running away (Crowley probably saw that coming anyway). What Aziraphale does is he takes them, their us and eliminates it.

Not just is he telling Crowley that he's an evil demon tm who needs to be an angel to be worthy of staying in Aziraphale's life, but "second in command" takes that even further.

Not "ruling together" or "ruling side by side" or any variation of those. No, Aziraphale is telling him that they are not equal and never have been. That Crowley has always been inferior to him and always WILL BE even if he stops being a demon and does what Aziraphale wants.

This is why Crowley no longer things of them as an us after all of that. Aziraphale took every single meaning it had and inverted it, crushed it up, and then threw it away.

Yeah.

Crowley is telling him he is gay and in gay love with him. Aziraphale takes that and says "you can be my employee at gay conversion therapy which i will run #straight besties".

Crowley hears "second in command" and it is the last puzzle piece falling into place. It's the final straw and that is when we get the tear. Before that he was saying we can be together, be an us, just the two of us, you and me. He was referring to them as free equals who don't need heaven or hell, who are happy with everything the way it is. An Aziraphale who loves Crowley no matter what his former occupation might have been.

We could have been us. (I wanted us to be an us)

And Aziraphale's answer to that is there has never been an us and we never will be. i don't love you the way you love me.

Anyway, see y'all on my next angst post or in the tags. Have another devastating screencap to wrap this all up nicely 💚

[fraugwinska]

THIS JUST POPPED IN MY HEAD AND I NEEDED TO SHARE!!!! Alastor in a established relationship with reader who has hair like Rapunzel (maybe not EXACTLY but it definitely touches the floor) it’s always getting stepped on by busy feet or chewed on by a particular piggy to the point where she practically carrying it everywhere she goes. One day Al asks why wont she just cut it she tells him it signifies the days they were apart/days she waited for his return as human (I think his death was something she could never cope with :(( ) but now they are together again he cuts it for her and helps her let go of that pain! He anit going nowhere now. He promises. <333

Hello my lovely! I finally came around to write this - and I think it was good to wait to be in the right headspace. It's not a fullblown oneshot, but I think this SlutSnack (Or... FluffSnack?) will be just as good! No warnings this time - just wonderful, sweet fluff for y'all! (@minkdelovely I'm looking at you!)

Let down your Hair

"No, please, come on, Nuggie, that doesn't taste good, let go now, come on..."

You tried and tried, but Angel's pet pig wasn't budging, a thick strand of your hair in its mouth, jaw locked and squeal angry. You pulled on the hair, while Husk, having pity with you, held onto the ferocious piglet as you shouted for Angel once more.

"Oh darling, again?" A familiar cane with a microphone sitting on top of it bonked the piggy on its head, and in a shocked squeak it let you finally free. You tried not to feel too bad for the thing as you scrambled your masses of hair together in your arms and Alastor, your savior, tutted at the little pink ball in Husks hands, his eyes glowing dangerously.

"That's the third time this week. Maybe your owner should keep a better eye on you, or I might be in the mood for pork chops."

"Don't 'ya dare, Creepy McCreeperston!" Angel came running, pulling Fat Nuggets out of Husk’s grip and cradled it softly. The cat demon, relieved of being released from the burden of caring, returned quickly to the bar, determined to get out of whatever the hell kind of fight would certainly follow.

"Oh, I do dare if this thing keeps on guzzling her hair, you frivolous..."

"He's a baby, he doesn't know better 'ya cocky..."

"Stop it.", you said decidedly, getting nervous when Alastors antlers began to crack and grow. "It's okay, he didn't... chew it off, Alastor. But Angel, I'd really appreciate it if you would keep a closer eye on him, okay?"

Alastor took a deep breath, returning to his normal form with a sigh and joined your side, gathering the rest of your long hair with an annoyed frown.

Angel huffed, shrugging his shoulders. "Fine." He turned around, tickling the pigs belly as he took the stairs to his room and mumbled loudly "...Don't know why she has to have fucking hair like goddamn Rapunzel and make this shit my problem."

"Because," Alastor said loudly after him, his hair dangerously spiking and static crackling, "It should be her own decision whether to cut her hair or not, not this... pest’s eating habit, mhh?"

"Alastor...", you said softly, touched by his fierce protective gesture, "Would you come to my room and help me sort this mess out? I think I have some pretty nasty knots in there now." You put a hand on his arm, and his eyes snapped to you. He smirked, not really calming, and offered his arm, holding your masses of locks safely on the other one.

"Of course... anything for you, dear!"

The first twenty minutes were filled with nothing but Alastors soothing, soft jazz he loved to play when you were alone and the quiet scraping of your hairbrush, detangling your overly long locks. He slowly calmed down from his agitated state, not wanting to show it too obviously but fondly twirling your smoothed down hair through his fingers. You enjoyed these quiet times together with him - normally he'd talk a lot, that came with the job of being the radio demon, and you'd listen attentively, not having the heart to miss a single word that came out of his mouth.

But sometimes silence was even more lovely, because it showed you that he didn't feel the need to entertain, to pretend and to put on a show, but just... be. With you. And maybe he could sense that it made you happy. Or he knew exactly how relaxing these moments could be. Whatever the case, your mind started to wander, reveling in the soft tugs of the brush and the shivers running down your spine when his claws finally reached your scalp.

"Why don't you cut it?" Alastor asked quietly and you jolted from your musing, humming and turning your head slightly. "Hm?" Alastor scratched carefully behind your ears, waiting for the tension to disappear from your muscles before he continued brushing. "Why haven't you cut your hair yet? It must be quite a bother to maintain."

You turned your head and blinked at him. The dreaded question... you knew it had to come one day. If you were honest, you'd even suspected him to ask it sooner. The answer was easy... but you hesitated to let him know. Alastor loved details, craved them in fact - but it was sentimental, silly even, and you couldn't bear the thought of him thinking less of you. Now the time had come - he had asked you directly, and you resented lying to him even more than looking foolish to him.

"Do you remember the day at the fair? The one where you took me on that boat ride?"

Alastor hummed happily, braiding the front of your hair, his claws delicately folding section over section. "Yes, of course. What a fine evening that was! You looked gorgeous as ever, I think you wore the red summer dress I gifted you for your birthday that year. You normally wore your hair straight, but it was beautifully laid in those finger waves that were all the rage then - right until here." His hand trailed down to caress the nape of your neck, making you bite your tongue on a sigh, and continued. "And I promised to you then on that boat that I'd return to you in a heartbeat, wherever you may wait or roam, no matter what, because..."

"...a lifetime with you could never be enough to satisfy me." you ended the sentence for him, a sad smile on your face."And yet it was the last day I saw you alive."

He stopped suddenly, the feeling of his claws being gone and your back growing cold made you flinch and turn, wondering whether you had ruined everything. Alastors eyes looked stormy and you swallowed, your hands absent-mindedly stroking a strand of hair that fell over your shoulder. 

"I've kept my hair like this for every time I imagined your return ever since you died. To signify those days I spent longing for you, mourning after I've seen the papers and..." You closed your eyes, refusing to fall back into those dark memories. The screams the nightmares brought into your nights, fueled by the horrific stories the papers wrote about him. The hollow words of family and friends and people who were merely interested by the gossip of his life and death. The morbid curiosity and the grins and giggles at his unceremonial end while you cursed them all for tainting his image. The undying anger and hurt, your stubborn love for a man who died so young and left you to grow old alone. "...Every inch of it is a testament that I've never stopped loving you. And that I've never stopped believing in those words you said to me that day." You opened your eyes again, looking at Alastors stricken face.

"I know it's foolish..." you said gently, watching how the realization struck Alastors eyes and softened them. He visibly forced his expression to stay in the signature smile of his, but you could sense the emotion in his voice.

"Don't belittle it. Your sentiments for me have always been... most precious to me. Even now. Perhaps especially now." You shuddered when his fingertips trailed up your arms and brushed away the tick of your hair, his mouth reaching for the delicate skin of your neck. "Heaven truly lost a perfect angel the moment you fell into hell, darling."

The tears you shed were softly kissed away by him. After you both calmed down enough from the overtake of emotions, something that had become so foreign for the radio demon, he gently sat you back down in front of your vanity mirror.

"My love... as much as it honors both you and me... keeping the weight of those past memories locked in your hair isn't necessary anymore. You have me now, and I have no intention to leave, not unless you wish me to. Let me relieve you from the burden of carrying it."

Alastor cut your hair, strand by strand while you told him about the decades of life lived without him. It felt like a liberation, to finally tell him how painful the years had been and how empty and incomplete you had felt. When you ended with telling him how relieved you were that the body you spawned in your afterlife wasn't the frail and withered one you left behind, but one that resembled your happier days, young and in love and optimistic, he had cut the masses of hair to the same length you had on that fateful day at the fair. Your head felt light and you stroked the short strands, a surprised and disbelieving laugh bursting out of you when you saw that girl again in the mirror.

Alastor smiled with deep satisfaction, carefully putting the scissors away before he pulled you into a close embrace from behind, meeting your gaze in the mirror and pressing a chaste, possessive kiss to the top of your head."Who needs a mere lifetime, darling, when you can have eternity?"

[liciapeonia]

REQUEST PLS!:3

Pls do jinx x artist!fem!reader where theyre soulmates and (like in scot pilgrim(?) And your name) they meet eachother in their dreams, then reader just paints/sketches jinx because shes her muse and also so that she wont forget what she looks like if the dreams stop happening

DEF ANGST-COMFORT🙏

In a nutshell, the reader was born in Zaun but had great opportunities that took him away from his childhood and threw him into a fast-paced and stressful world, but strange things happened in his dreams that changed his destiny. I made a reader who has heard of jinx but doesn't remember the rumors about her very well and has never seen her before.

Jinx x fem!reader

Your days in Piltover are hectic as hell and the hours pass more than you can keep up with. You're an artist and you're very good at what you do. When you were a kid you used to make big graffiti on donkeys, then you moved on to paper and over time you started selling your paintings and drawings among the gentlemen of Piltover who declared themselves liberals who promote mixing between different people, just a bunch of rich liars.

And when night came and you collapsed on the bed, you had no dreams, nothing until everything changed…

A breeze blew past you, you opened your eyes and realized you were sitting in a different place, different from anything you'd ever seen, different from anything you could ever imagine. The air was fresh with a refreshing smell, a large field with flowers, you seemed to be high up, you could see a river below and in the distance large mountains, the sky was a beautiful shade of pink, and large trees were everywhere This was a place you never expected to see in your life, it was so different from what you were used to.

All the tiredness from your body seemed to have been washed away, all the pain, all the anxiety, it was a kind of total feeling of peace, getting up to sit under a tree and wait until everything was over, you saw it all with a brilliant glow and even though you felt small and alone under the big tree you couldn't be happier, but then something took your peace away.

Then you heard something that didn't sound like the wind or some kind of animal, it was… a woman. She was looking at you, her hair was big and blue like her eyes, eyes that looked like sapphires for how beautiful they were… she went quickly to your side, not too far away, sat down and started looking at the mountains.

When you looked at her, it somehow felt like you knew her, but you didn't know where….

“Do I know you?” you ask, catching her eye.

“Maybe I'm kind of famous, I have a very good reputation…, do I know you?” she asks looking at you.

“No, I don't think so…, even with all this fame, I don't think I know who you are, what's your name?” you say without knowing why you felt nervous about such a simple question.

The woman looks you up and down incredulously at your question ''People know me as Jinx'' she says trying to make you understand the real fame she has but there was no change in her face you didn't look scared or frightened as people usually do.

Then the silence returns.

“It's the first time I've seen such a beautiful place,” you say with a sigh.

“It's the first time I've seen you here, usually it's just me and the … it would be nice to see you here again.

You look at her confused ''What does that mean?'' and you are happily awoken, you can hear the horns outside all the infernal shouting that wouldn't let you sleep and that forced you to get up.

Usually, you woke up in a bad mood but this time it was different. You woke up with a feeling of doubt and you woke up with the image of Jinx. It was such an insignificant conversation, so small but it caused something in you every time you thought about it.

The day went by and the strange dream was also forgotten and when you hardly noticed, you were almost dead with sleep, falling into a deep sleep and hitting your face on the green grass of a beautiful mysterious place.

This time you turned over and lay on your stomach looking up at the sky, which was pink and purple, and once again the girl appeared, clearer, more beautiful, and more mysterious than last time.

“Hey toots you come back’’

''yeah…I wanted to see your blue hair again'' you say now smiling at her. She looks at you for a while ''you know… it's not every day that someone invades my dreams'' then she sits up looking at you.

''Me..invading your dream? no, in reality, it's you who's invading mine,'' you say jokingly to her.

She smiles slightly and from a small interaction like that, small conversations developed, then endless dialogues about the things you both like, the things that motivate each other, everything you both do, and this went on for months.

Until it ended

It was another tiring day and you were excited to go to bed and see Jinx talk about your day, complain about the people you're working with, and just hear all about her day about the bombs, new weapons every little thing she could think, off as she rambled on about the voices that wouldn't leave her alone.

But after you fall into a deep sleep nothing happens, a simple black takes over your eyes, and without even seeming to pass an hour it's already the next day … no Jinx no jokes no laughter no hugs no … her sparkling eyes every time she smiles at you.

As time went by, the reality of work continued, life didn't stop just because you were sad and every time you lay down to sleep you prayed that you would have one more minute with her, but that didn't happen, as time went by you began to think that the supposed magic of her being real and you having a connection was all in your head. Jinx was just a subconscious invented by your mind to support the load of daily anxiety, even a kind of bad joke from your brain.

Some people say that time heals everything, but in this case, your time didn't stop, and time has the incredible ability to distort memories, a reminder that is not always reliable, so you did everything you could not to forget her face… or even distort it. Every day, whenever you could, you drew pictures of her face, her hair, the depth of her eyes, trying to hold on to the failure of an imperfect copy of her real beauty.

When you found yourself a part of you had already incorporated a bit of her, your artwork is now different more stronger, more pigmented with waves that looked like fire, with lots of blue and pink, and with a lot of her and you there. Over time you didn't have to stand behind people showing them your paintings, they would come up to you and choose one. A lot of rich people put your paintings in their galleries or in their bathrooms and with a life full of money it was time to go back to your past.

You moved to Zaun, no one knew you had money, you wore the same old clothes, you didn't buy anything too expensive, you went to some places and remembered when you were younger, now you don't do your drawings for money, you ventured around painting on walls and over time you saw people you had left behind and ironically you see people you didn't even want to left behind.

The middle of the night was just like any other noisy night, but that night it was even louder. That's what it's like to paint a huge punch near one of the hottest nightclubs in Zaun, there was no one around, you were wearing a headset on one side of your ear.

''It would look really cool if you put some green monkeys on top.''

'' Green? I was just thinking about …..'' then you turn to the person behind you, finding their voice slightly familiar and coming face to face with your dear Jinx, you open your eyes wide at the person in front of you, surprised that she's real, surprised that she's here, surprised that …

She looked at you in disbelief even more than you ''Are you real?'' she asked and the only thing you could do was nod, your eyes almost overflowing, you came up to her, put your hand on her cheek as she slowly wrapped her arms around your torso and finally Kissed, a kiss that started off lightly curious but began to get more intense as the seconds passed, a kiss of need, the kind that makes you both run out of air.

And while everything was happening, one thing was certain in your head: things will change.

Kiss and cheese

[psalacanthea]

Are we going to talk about how scary being the Inquisitor is for a Lavellan or…?

I mean, the more and more I have played this game, the more the Chantry shit is terrifying. Over and over again, you see painful and irrefutable evidence about the shit humans did to elves in the name of the Maker. The Exalted Plains is an obvious example.  (I consistently call it Dirthavaren you don’t like it fight me bitch) 

Like I think the entire fandom can agree on fuck that bitch sister Amity. The Chantry crusades destroyed what was left of the elves, destroyed them. Culture, body and spirit. Like be honest, there aren’t many Dalish clans left and each time a new game/book comes around, another one bites the dust. It’s so easy to lose your clan in Inquisiton and even easier to accidentally kill off Marethari’s. Hell, you can choose to kill Zathrian’s. 

The Dalish are dying out, any way you slice it.

Then suddenly a hole rips open in the sky and everybody thinks Lavellan did it. It destroys the Conclave…don’t tell me for one second that the humans didn’t immediately start developing an ‘elves and vengeance and antiMaker’ conspiracy theory. The ‘remain silent’ dialogue option in that first interaction isn’t a stoic ‘I don’t give a fuck’ to me, it’s more of a ‘whatever I say doesn’t matter I’m already dead’ for a Dalish Inquisitor. 

The true horror is knowing that they wont just kill you, they’ll call for a bloodbath on elves across Thedas.

“For the elves were guilty of the greatest sin, of turning from the Maker.”

You’ve damned them all and you can’t even remember how or why. For a First, it must be terrifying to realize even if you try to diplomatically talk your way out of it, they’ll never believe you. As a hunter or warrior, you know it’s hopeless. All you can do is throw yourself forward as the villain, claim that whatever happens you acted alone and take as many of these shems out with you as you can.  As a mage you know if they take pity on you, you’re condemned to their mage-slavery prisons.

“Whatever you think I did, I’m innocent!”

But then they believe you (barely, like thank the Creators the Lavellan clan taught you how to talk to humans civilly and not panic) but it’s basically a hostage situation. There’s one other elf with you and even if he’s not Dalish thank Mythal because shit you were scared and you’re still scared but at least it’s something. His name is ‘Pride’. You take it as a sign from the Creators that it’s not time to give up yet. Suledin, you think.

There is an orb, a weapon that caused this. Solas tells you it’s elven and your heart sinks.

“Eventually, the humans will find a way to blame elves…”

You become Inquisitor and things are a little better but the humans call you Herald of Andraste. You don’t believe in their Maker but none of them care. You know your clan would feel betrayed, think you’ve given up your gods. You haven’t of course but the terror is there…what if the gods think you’ve given up them? You talk to Cassandra and Leliana, trying to understand the human chantry and maybe figure out a way for your two beliefs to coexist. 

 But no.

You realize it wont help. Cassandra talks about spreading the Maker’s word to all corners of Thedas…you remember the lonely howls of the wolves across Dirthavaren. You know what ‘spreading the Makers word’ means. Leliana at least acknowledges what the Chantry did, but she dismisses it with words. All those lives and hopes and dreams dismissed with the words ‘that hate won’t just go away if you dissolve the Chantry’. You understand what she really means, though. 

She’s saying that the hate will never go away, not until the elves are just like humans. The Chantry will never stop.  She says she wants elves to be part of the chantry so they survive and you try not to taste bile in the back of your throat when you think of what that means.

“My father says humans are like weeds that choke out the grass…”’

Slowly, slowly, slowly...they consume you.

[ghost-bxrd]

Batman and MockingJay are standing on a rooftop watching eachother

Batman : why are you doing this? Are you aware of what Hood is doing? Hood is a dangerous criminal who takes pleasure in others pain. How do you have such a carefree attitude towards all this? You know you dont have to this? We can protect you . Youll be safe from him.

MockingJay: First of all cuz i want to, second of all Hood only hurts those who deserve it . Unlike you he'll do whats necessary to stop them and make sure noone else has to suffer like they did before. Is it "right"? It Depends. To me ? Hell yes hes doing what ypu wont, hes taking them out. Permanently. Your so caught up in your "justice" and "non lethal" bullshit that you cant even see the bigger picture. Tell me, do you even hear yourself somtimes? Your all "my way or the highway" with Gotham. Cant you see its not about you. It never has been. You just want to "save" me because the last time you let a child go he went "ka-BOOM" You want to save them your way cause you think its the best? HAH! Everyone has seen what you do old man , it works as a short term solution yes , but in the long run? Fuck no, they'll break out and hurt others all over again! "Save Gotham"? You couldn't even save Robin!

Red Hood from a distance: MockingJay! Time to wrap this up!

MockingJay:coming boss!

MockingJay turns to look at Batman

MockingJay:if you ever try anything to him ill make you wish you died in that Alley with them.(grapples away) just an interaction i thought they might have

Holy crap that last line is absolute FIRE

Oh!Bruce would totally blank for a few minutes because— he can’t have heard that right.

His mind would be going a MILE a minute trying to parse through all the implications of it.

[ghostismybbygorl]

141 when they're angry and how they cry

Im feeling a little bit angsty tonight 😈

Warnings: self inflicted pain, ptsd, truama responce, crying, anger

Price

It takes alot to get him pissed the fuck off but when he does he blows the fuck up like full blown disappointed dad he will make you cry. This usually only happens if he had a rookie or someone close to him nearly gets killed or a mission goes SOUTH

Again it takes alot to get him pissed if he realizes he getting to that level of anger he'll excuse himself take some breaths smoke like 3 cigars to get his composure together and then he'll address the problem

He's usually just passive aggressive and says some really petty shit

Now he's a silent crier with the occasional sniffer. He's stroke his beard and rub his face with a groan. He hide his face and just silently sit there until he gets his composure. He aslo does breathing exercises to calm him down

Soap

When he's pissed of he'll get really quiet and shit himself off. He does the "im fine" and if you keep prodding at him he'll blow up in a yelling fit.

Hes a angry crier like full blow screaming crying punching things. Hes a whole hurricane when he's MAD

Now he will never lay a finger on anyone he loves if your in the middle of an argument and he starts forming tears he'll storm off and find something to punch. He keeps a punching bag around so that he doesn't have to hurt himself on anything. he wont punch the walls because he'd be the one fixing it.

He one time got so pissed he dissapeard and ghost found him curled up by a tree that had obviously taken a beating. his knuckles will be bleeding and bruised. He'll be a sobbing mess hyperventilating, hiccuping, coughing ghost would have to calm him down and try to get him leveled

Hes the screamer type crier he'll be holding something just wailing. If you ask him whats wrong he will just pull you in a hug and just let it loose.

Ghost

(Alright so in the comics he was in a abusive household where his dad would beat his mom and he would terrorize him with new foreign animals and he witnessed his dad murder a woman at a concert and he just told him to laugh it off. He was captured and tortured to near death being buried with his comrad so he has MAJOR PTSD from it so this kind of falls into the senario)

He tries HARD to not loose his composure in fear that he will be like his dad and loose his shit

Hes goes quiet and shuts himself off. Like price he'll excuse himself and get his composure together. He raises his voice and will warn you that you're pissing him off and to stop immediately. If you don't stop he'll tell you "that's enough!" And storm off

His whole aura will change and you can feel the anger radiate off of him. He's the type to go "its fine don't worry about it" if you ask before storming off to somewhere quiet

so theres this trauma response where if someone you know where to get hurt or something just makes you snap you start laughing i feel like ghost has that especially in the comics he has a ptsd attack and just starts laughing

When he has an attack he'l start with a chuckle and then it just mores into a sick laugh and itll just turn into him full blown sobbing and laughing at the same time

He's also a silent crier so if he's severly overstimulated he'l lie down and his eyes will start becoming waterfalls. No sniffles he just stares while his eyes soak the floor

Gaz

He RANTS when he's pissed the fuck off. He will call you out in your bullshit and roast the fuck outta you. he does the hand clap, waves his hands in the air everything. He's a bery level headed person but if you say something that pushes that button right be ready for a blow up

He doesnt get violent whats so ever unless the person provokes it. His dad (price lol) taught him to not start a fight but finish it and he damn well finish one.

He super sarcastic when he's irritated and is passive aggressive

"And thats why your mamas dead.... dead as hell"

When he cries he has tears streaming down his face and he does the quiet sobs that will turn into hiccups and him rubbing his eyes constantly

He doesnt cry that much (except for weddings hes a sucker for them) and he usually doesnt show anyone that he's crying (except for the weddings 😂)

[yanderu-deredere]

ooo spicy reqeuset: how would the yan yans react to their darling trying to fake an orgasm during sex? maybe because nobodys given her an orgasm before and so shes worried that they wont make her cum so she just pretends?

a/n: pretty sure all hell would break loose LOOOL also, as an adhd bitch, i know the pains of this so fucking well and it fucking sucks

wanted to do a group up thing but decided against it becos i wanted to write drabbles so here are just some random yanderes i picked and how they'd react

if you wanted to see another different yandere, shoot me another request and id love to answer for you!

warning: female reader as requested, mentions of stalking, overstim in ryouta's and the wolf boys' parts, spanking int he wolf boys' part, degradation in the wolf boys' part, double penetration in the wolf boys' part, honestly leo just lets it all out i think

eun-jeong yoo ★ profile

if he's never made you cum before, he probably wouldn't notice that you're faking it. he's not the type to really go around fucking other people. in fact, more than likely, you're his first. so he wouldn't know better

but, if he has made you cum forreal before, he'll know immediately that you're faking it and, even if he hasn't gotten off yet, he'll stop everything to ask you what's wrong and ask why you're faking it

same goes for if he's stalked you before and like has watched you make yourself cum becos then he knows what it looks like?

neway he's just an all around very observant guy who memorises how you react to things so he'd know if you're faking it or not

Eun-jeong's thrusts slowed and he ended up frowning down at you, his hands at your hips tightening but only a fraction "What's wrong?" Your face erupted into heat and you tried your best to sound confused "Huh? Wha-What'd'you mean?"

Eun-jeong took a second to think about his words carefully. He'd always been told that he wasn't exactly the most socially graceful person in the world so he wanted to really pick what he was about to say deliberately.

Because he loved you. And he wanted to finally show you the parts of him that he's been anxious to show you; all the ugly burned skin, all the big insecurities, everything.

He didn't want anything to go wrong. Except, now, it was obvious to him that you just tried pretending that you were cumming when you weren't.

It made him extremely anxious that you were faking it. Were you just unable to get off while looking at his ugly skin? Was he that bad? What was wrong?

"You… didn't cum."

Eloquent. He wanted to hit himself upside the head so bad.

You turned even more bashful, embarrassed both by the fact that you acted badly enough that it was obvious and by the fact that you got caught.

Unbeknownst to you, you could've been the best actress in the world and Eun-jeong still would've been able to tell. He knew you, has observed you at your most vulnerable moments, when you thought nobody was looking.

He liked to think he knew you better than anyone, even yourself.

The awkward silence was finally broken as you stuttered out an explanation "So-Sorry, I just-- I-- Nobody's ever made me cum before s-so I was nervous-- I-I didn't want to make things awkward by uhm, not cumming?"

Eun-jeong understood completely. Still, he shifted his hips, jostling his cock inside of you. He pulled you a little closer, sigh escaping him. "I don't care about that, puppy. It doesn't matter how long it takes; I just want you to feel good, no matter what."

You nodded hurriedly, feeling the way his cock stretched you deliciously. Honestly, this entire time, you'd been stuck at the precipice, eager to cum but unable to. Unfortunately, it's always been like that.

Eun-jeong noticed the way you nibbled at your bottom lip, your eyes flickering to where the two of you were connected. Something clicked in his mind then.

He shifted his hips again, dragging his cock out of you slowly. He could at least tell that it felt good because the walls of your pussy seemed to desperately want to keep him inside.

“How about you tell me how it feels?” Eun-jeong leaned down, his voice tickling your ear and his breath hot against your skin.

The words were on the tip of your tongue but your brain ended up blanking a little when Eun-jeong suddenly thrust his cock back in. He took your loss for words as a good sign and chuckled, his hand travelling from your waist to a little bit lower so his thumb could rub against your clit

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait. We have all night after all and I want to make sure you cum at least once.”

ryouta watanabe ★ profile

super observant like eun-jeong except like maxed out so, even if he hasn't seen you cum before, he definitely can tell what's fake and what's not

not to be like cliched or anything but your body tells him exactly how you feel and he's not had any experience outside of you but that doesn't stop him from hyper-analysing your every movement

so, yes, he can tell you're making yourself clench around him and you're making your eyes roll up and that you're pretending

and he'll definitely 100% take that as an offence LOL like what, you think he's stupid??

wouldn't talk to you abt it til after he's punished you tho

“What the fuck was that?”

Your entire body stiffened and you immediately grew nervous. Thankfully, your back was facing Ryouta so he probably couldn’t see your expression but you were sure he would at least fall for your acting.

People usually did.

He suddenly bullied his cock back into your pussy, making you whimper. Then, just as suddenly, his hand was at your face, cupping your chin, his fingers digging into your cheeks “I asked you a question.”

“I-I don’t—”

“Don’t lie to me.” He sounded angry—angrier than you’d ever heard him be like ever—and from his tight grip on you, you could tell that he wasn’t in the mood for games.

“I-I’m sorry.” You huffed, squirming as you felt him keep grinding his hips against yours, his grip on your waist making you unable to get away “I-I— Nobody’s ever made me c-cum before and I-I thought— I-I didn’t want to—”

Ryouta pulled out of you, which only made you feel rejected and guilty. Now, like everyone else, he’d be sick of you too.

Before you could say anything else, though, he turned you over so you faced him. Finally, you could see the irritated expression on his face.

It felt so out of place since Ryouta always seemed pretty much emotionless. You were always left guessing exactly what he was thinking. Now, it was obvious: what you did really pissed him off.

“You think I’m anything like those shit-heads? Those pieces of garbage that can’t make you cum?” He practically spat out, his hands cupping the backs of your thighs and spreading your legs.

You tried to stutter out excuse after excuse but the words immediately died on your lips when Ryouta ducked down and started lapping at your pussy.

You gasped, your back curving up a little as your eyelids fluttered. Oh, fuck, the feeling of his tongue tracing your folds, lapping at your clit, was something else.

One of his hands moved your knee so it rested on his shoulder and, at first, you wondered why. Then, you felt him pushing his fingers inside you, curling them in a way that made your walls clench and your pussy gush.

“Wa-Wait, Ryouta— I-I— feels weird!” You squealed, feeling his fingertips deeper than you’ve ever been able to reach. He kept brushing up against something that made electricity dance along your spine.

It made you feel like you needed to piss.

Instead of stopping, however, Ryouta just kept his dark eyes on you, lips closing around your clit and sucking as his fingers kept working you over and over.

Before you knew it, your back bowed and your head flung back as you were hit with the hardest orgasm you’d ever felt before. Your toes curled as white spots played along your vision.

“First time cumming and you end up being a squirter, huh?”

Ryouta almost sounded far away or maybe was that just your post-orgasm haze? You were still so out of it, both from the fact that someone made you cum and from the fact that it was the best orgasm you’d ever felt.

Before you could say anything, you could feel the head of Ryouta’s cock at your pussy.

You immediately looked up at Ryouta, the haze replaced with a sense of urgency “N-No, wait, I-I’m still a bit—”

Ryouta just chuckled meanly and pushed his cock all in one thrust “Did I say you could stop cumming? No, you’re going to keep going, baby, until you wring out every last drop of cum from my balls.”

emm fiala ★ casimir fiala

has had experience with each other so like they know what someone cumming looks like and, yeah, every person is different but like also you're not fooling them

they each have polar opposite viewpoints on how to deal with it though: like casimir's would be to just ignore it and keep going but emm would wanna stop and talk abt it

it's defo a lot more like eunjeong rather than ryouta cus emm calls the shots LOL

Emm suddenly stopped and you could hear Casimir let out a small scoff. Immediately, you felt a cold sweat cover you. Did they notice?

“What the fuck was that, darl’?” Emm was behind you but you could feel her grip around your throat tighten a little; not enough to restrict your breathing but definitely enough to get your attention.

Casimir, on the other hand, didn’t say anything, his hands still tight around the fat of your thighs.

You didn’t know what to say. You’d never been caught faking it so it was a little jarring to face the consequences so quickly. Were you that obvious?

“It’s fine, Emm.” Casimir huffed, rolling his eyes, and he seemed to lean closer to you as if about to kiss you.

However, before he could, Emm’s free hand pushed his face away “The hell d’ya mean it’s fine? It’s not fine.”

“Why’d y’fake it?” She pulled you closer to her, her breasts pressing against your back and her hand travelling a little higher up so she could direct your gaze to her.

Your face felt hot and you couldn’t bring yourself to look at her. “S-Sorry. I-I just— I-I thought I n-needed to…”

“For what?” Casimir sounded a bit amused by your answer but you honestly couldn’t see his expression clearly because you were pointedly looking away from both of them, too embarrassed to meet either of their stares.

“If y’didn’t wanna fuck, you could’ve just said so.” Emm added, huffing and obviously off-put as she started pulling her strap-on out of your sopping pussy.

“I-It’s not that I didn’t want to!” You immediately interjected, feeling bad that you’d ended up making them feel like they’d forced you “I-I really d-did want to! Bu-But… uhm, it’s just that! N-Nobody’s been able to make me cum before…”

Casimir laughed meanly but Emm seemed to pause at your words. Then, she sighed, and you could feel her pushing that impossibly thick strap-on back inside of you. It definitely made you whimper a bit.

“Were we at least making you feel good?” Casimir pushed himself closer to you and you finally looked up to see a smirk playing across his lips.

You nodded because they really did. Both Casimir and Emm were, at the very least, the closest to making you cum “B-But, uhm, I-I just c-can’t—”

“I think you just need a little nudge, my love.” Casimir used one hand to cup your breast, thumb playing with your nipple, while the other moved down to toy with your clit.

Suddenly, you felt Emm push against you, nudging you so you were chest to chest against Casimir, your chin resting against his shoulder. Emm’s hand also left your neck and, instead, she used both hands to grip both sides of your waist.

“The fuck’n audacity to compare us t’your past lovers.” Emm grumbled before she renewed her thrusting except, this time, there was more force behind it, like she was earnestly fucking you.

Casimir chuckled but you could hear a sinister tone to his voice “Don’t worry, my wife, we’ll show our sweet that we’re nothing like those hooligans.”

mel lowell ★ isamu lowell ★ leonard lowell

also another group that hasn't really had a lot of experience with the female gender? LOL the three of them have only ever been with each other and pussies work differently yk

if it was just isamu, he'd totally fall for it LOL he'd believe you 100%

for mel, he's less likely to believe you but he wouldn't confront you abt it? he'd just keep going until he sees a real orgasm. but it'd be that thing where it's like? was that real? (yes) hmmm, he should make you cum again just to be sure

leonard would kick. your. ass. like forreal LMAO he'd absolutely berate you for even attempting to fake it and he'll be able to tell okay! surprisingly, the youngest of the three of them is kind of the most observant loool

if all three of them are together tho, leonard wins out and he ends up beating u up (metaphorically) while isamu and mel watch LOL

“No fucking way.”

Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and you felt a sudden anxiety overtake you. There was no way Leonard could tell… could he?

“No fucking way! I didn’t just see that! Tell me I didn’t just see that!” Leonard, who had been behind you, suddenly woven his fingers through your hair before tugging, making you look directly at his bright blue eyes.

“Tell me you didn’t just fake an orgasm right in front of me.”

Mel, who had been happily observing, fist around his cock, stood, and you saw the concerned expression on his face from the corners of your eyes.

Isamu, who was in front of you, looked like a kicked puppy.

“I-I didn’t!” You instinctually answered, shaking your head, your entire body jittery with anxiety.

“Leo, I don’t think she’d—” Mel even tried to intervene but there was no stopping Leonard as soon as he was determined to see something through.

Thankfully, he let go of your hair. However, as soon as he did, he was shoving you and Isamu down, his hand on your shoulder making sure you wouldn’t get back up.

What he didn’t let go of was the issue at hand. Though you couldn’t see his face now, you could hear the insistence in his voice “Yes, you fucking did! I know you did! Admit it!”

You shook your head, of course, still in denial. The embarrassment of admitting it to them would’ve been too much.

Unfortunately, just as you shook your head, you felt a sudden flash of pain that made you gasp. Leonard just spanked you.

“Admit it.”

Of course, you shook your head again and, like you’d expected, Leonard spanked you again. This time, the lingering pain from the first one combined with the pain of the second one and you were left whimpering.

You looked to Mel, eyes a bit watery, hoping for help. Instead, he stood there, his arms crossed, an analyzing look on his face.

“Leo, don’t bully her!” Isamu at least tried to stand up for you.

“Fucking slut thinks we’re some virgin fuck-heads who can’t make her cum.” Leonard grumbled, landing another hard swat against your ass “Doesn’t that piss you off?”

You let out another pathetic sound, eyes fluttering close as you felt the pain and heat radiate from your ass cheek. “I-I’m sorry…”

Isamu made a confused noise but Mel tilted your chin up so you were looking up at him “So you did fake it?”

You nodded guiltily “I-I just— I-Isamu was about to cum an-and I-I felt so bad— Nobody’s been able to m-make me cum before and I—”

You were interrupted by another harsh slap against your ass, making you yelp out.

“We’ll talk about it later but I want you to know that you shouldn’t ever be pressured by us.” Mel spoke to you in his rather infamous soft leader-ly voice. “We’ll do whatever it takes to make you cum so you don’t have to fake it, okay?”

You nodded hastily but your nodding was disrupted by another harsh swat from Leonard.

“And you, Leo. I appreciate you noticing and saying something but try to be a bit gentle with her.” Mel turned to Leonard and you could almost hear the exasperation in his voice.

“Now…” Mel reached behind you and it took you a second to even realise what he was doing.

He had fisted Isamu’s cock and fed it back into your pussy, not even giving you a second to adjust as the thickness spread your walls apart mercilessly.

You whimpered but happily took it.

“You have to be punished though, puppy.” Mel pet your head, threading his fingers through your hair before directing your mouth to his cock “We’ll forgive you if you let us use all your holes, hmm?”

You nodded at that, tongue already running over the veins on Mel’s cock.

“And, of course, you’ll have to cum at least three times. No faking it this time, okay?”

You sighed but agreed to that as well. Just as you did, you could feel the head of Leonard’s cock press against your asshole, pushing in slowly but surely, spreading you apart in a way that made you whine.

It would be a long night for sure.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Danny leaves Amity Park and Earth to commit to his rile as Ghost King

Ok I can’t lie to yall it’s one am and I wanted to write danny becomes ghost king and moves to the realms but misses school so asks William Lancer to skype call him during class so he can still be there. But I got very off track. Like I think I wrote a character study of jazz? I had to force myself to stop no joke. I could write this way forever but I think it’s kinda boring to read when I write in this style.

Anyway rambling here it is

Danny becomes the high King of the Infinite Realms and tries his hardest ti balance it all with his human life but it’s too much. He can’t keep up. His parents start putting more and more pressure on him. Plus their hatred if Phantom and ghosts has gone from a 10 to one hundred. Jazz thinks their obsessed, like their in love but with the idea of destroying Phantom. She no longer tries to give Danny a false hope of them accepting him as a halfa. Like he can’t see that. Every time she pulls him out if the kitchen, the living room, the lab. Hell every time Danny walks down the hall and one ih his parents join him, theres Jazz. As if summoned. Shes made it her mission to keep Danny from them and when she can’t she will do her best to make sure hes not alone with then. He thinks it’s a bit extreme and secretly is so glad for it. It’s like shes telling him his feelings are justified and that hes not crazy for being scared of his parents. That he doesn’t have to have the same fear of her. Shes on his side. Shes protecting him. And it’s nice. To be the one protected for once.

So they make a plan for him to leave. The Realms arent going ti give up or go away so he might as well go there. At least if hes nit running from his new responsibilities as Ghost King then they wont have to track him down and dump it in him once it’s piled up too much to be ignored. Hes already told Jazz hes not going ti pass up the crown. Imagine the good he can do as King. Plus hes promised that if he needs any help he will ask. So she helps him go. Their parents hardly notice when Danny disappeared from their house. Their obsession, their devotion, to Phantom has completely blinded them. Jazz is only staying because she is so close to finished here so wont have ti stay long. Less than a year and she can go off to any college she wants. Her grades are proof enough that she knows she wont tied to them and their money. She will be dependent of them and make a name for herself completely unrelated to them. These monsters who have taken her parents place.

She does wish she noticed sooner. Make she could have spared Danny so much pain and trauma had she just seen the signs. It was so clear to her now that this was their path. With every passing day she should have seen what they would become. But children love their parents regardless of goodness and she wanted to, no needed to believe they would do right by Danny. That no her parents wouldnt try to turn their son into a science experiment and strap him to a table and cut him open. She so craved and longed for a normal stable family. Something she no doubt learned doesn’t exist while studying physiology. She can’t blame herself. She knows it’s not her fault. She is still a child and still loved her parents. Even now as she makes plans to leave them and never come back to them. Even now she loves them. ‘Maybe im making a mistake’ ‘am I doing the right thing?’ The doubts pour into her mind. Then she sees them or talks to them and is once again reminded of why shes doing this. She has no doubts about if she can do it. She is smart and resourceful. She can easily make it on her own with a full ride to pretty much any collage. She would earn money as a tutor still and maybe even write articles online for cash, shes already got some offers, but that little voice in her mind still nags at her that they’re her parents and they love her. Maybe they used to but she knows they only care about one thing. Their “work” or their “science” in reality it’s their obsession. Ironic how they are like ghosts with their obsession controlling them. Unable to do anything else, think about anything else, until is fulfilled. If they just achieved their goal they would let up and maybe even return to their family. Minds no longer unable to sleep due to thoughts of their target. But Jazz could never let them. The price of her loving parents is the life of her sweet little brother. What a choice for a 17 year old to make. Have the family she was promised from all the media she had as a kid, showing familys of understanding and endless love. Or lose any hope of loving parents to help her little brother have his own loving family.

The choice was clear. She would sacrifice anything for him after all. If he asked her to give up her human life and join him in ruling the Realms she would have. Hell if he asked her to become a halfa she would have. This sweet boy whos willing to give up everything for everyone else deserves at least that. The hero who is not loved for his acts but despised, hated even, by those who he protects. A crueler fate even that his whole being obsessed with protecting them. Even if he wanted to give up on them he couldnt. She doesn’t even think hes capable of wanting to give up on protecting them. His ghost obsession keeps him from it. So she will give to the giver. He deserves just that.

~~~~

[mydahliarose]

Edited cause i was half asleep when making this

Niiri: *is unable to sleep so she gets up to head towards the kitchen for a snack but as she walks down the hallway she hears a familiar loving voice down the cathedral hall. its Michael singing a beautiful Christmas melody towards gods statue kneeling in a prayer position*

Niiri: angelica? *Whispers to herself dosent want to interrupt him in this very important moment*

Michael: *sighs while still praying* come forth dear, don't worry im not mad at you...

Niiri: *gets a little nervous that she got caught watching him but eases down with his reassurance* s-sorry! Erm...i couldnt sleep so i thought id eat something until i heard your beautiful melody...what song is it?

Michael: *dosent turn to her, his voice sounding sorrowful more so than yesterday*

Oh come Emmanuel....a song about god to be present with us...

Niiri: *her dolly instincts kick in with that tone in his pained voice so she walks towards the statue of god to be present next to him*

I knew angels liked to sing but you? Consider me surprised, i think im even more in love with you than ever~, your quite talented i must say.

Michael: *while sorrowful, he cocked a vague smile on the edge of his lips basking in her compliment.* Whenever its Christmas i always joined to sing with the angels before we even opened our gifts and basked in a glorious feast...*sigh remembering the old times what used to be his happiness with Lucifer and god* i should be happy celebrating it with you and yet im still sorrowful...*sniffling*

Niiri: *goes behind him while her hands rub around circles to ease his pain* I think i know see whats going on my angel... Christmas just isnt the same for you anymore but yet you still cling for him to return one day even if it means to sing to him to reach him...

Michael: *silence he was but not his tears flowing down his cheeks* it will reach to him im sure of it... god has always loved my singing thus he won't ignore my devotion...*continues to sing in a soft melody as the quivering woes ring through his throat*

Niiri: *she watched as her heart felt in anguished in his state.* In that case,i shall help you through this journey...

*sits on her knees and begins to pray despite her blisters beginning to form* o-our fa-GAh!

W-who art-ngh!

Michael: *immediately stops what hes doing as he grips her wrists to stop her from praying further in damage* stop that! Your hurting yourself doll! look! Your beautiful antique self is in ruins tsk! Why do you contenue doing this when it's a weakness of yours?!

Niiri: if your hurting then i want to be hurt with you!, i refuse to let you suffer alone in another Christmas! I...i want to be with you even in your darkest of moments. because i know what its like to suffer in silence without having anyone to turn to....its an empty void that clogs up all our emotions until it becomes to much to bear and scream in silence....so please Michael... *Holds his hand close to her heart* let me pray and sing all night with you even during Christmas...

Michael: *his eyes widen in disbelief not knowing what to say,one thing for sure he felt his heart move more tensely. It felt happy...and loved. His grip softens up.* n-niiri...

Niiri: *turns to look at him. She to has tears flowing down her rosey circled cheeks*

i want to sing with you...i want god to hear me sing with my angel...even if hes not physically here....then our Christmas carol shall reach out and hell see me worthy of marrying me with you...

Michael: *hearing those words brought a more intense river flowing down his face. Never would a demon do such action for him no to him demons where nothing but love destroyers for taking the two things he loved but now he has a third and he wont let anything happen to her.* My sweatheart you are worthy...

*shelters her in his wings. shifting her closer while he chants a love prayer to her that begins healing her wounds with a golden glow of his warmth embrace*

Dear God, I come before you today seeking your guidance in love. Fill my heart with your boundless love, so that I may radiate it to those around me. Guide me to find a love that is true, kind, and respectful, a love that reflects your own divine nature. Help me to love with an open heart, to forgive readily, and to nurture the relationships you bring into my life. Amen." 

Niiri: *slowly her blisters and burns begin closing, cracks slowly repairing itself in the process*

Michael...*she looks at him with awe*

Michael: if your going to sing gods beloved song then stay close and dont let go of me...

Niiri: *smiles to him* i wont...*twiddles her thumbs* you know ive always loved the song silent night...can we perhaps sing that one?

Michael: *he gives ger a genuine gesture of a somewhat happy smile* for you dolly...how can i say no?. *Chuckles*

Niiri: and by the way...you have the most beautiful singing ive ever heard. No wonder god and your brother loved hearing them back then...

Michael: *ah the nostalgia...then blushes at her compliment* thank you my doll...and i hope one day Christmas will be a day ill look forward to once more...

Niiri: then let us pray and sing up to the sky already so your happiness can come to fruition!

Michael: *smiles* i bet your voice as honey and sweet as it already is sounds even more beautiful when you sing...ahhh, please sing for me...

Niiri: *blushes* anything for you my siren of heaven ❤️

*and thus both lovebirds stayed there until they where both tired enough to return to bed and rest there voice*

[bobasnonbeliever]

only posting this here because i dont think anyone will see it. i need to get this out

im so fucking tired of my life. im tired of caring, like, in general. as stupid as it sounds, i was watching kitchen nightmares, and gordon said something about a chef or an owner, i dont remember exactly, he said; "losing hope is a scary thing to do, when theres just no more light at the end of the tunnel, it takes you down dark paths." or something like that. and ive been suicidal/depressed since i was 9, but i thought to myself "im not hopeless, am i?". the more i thought about it, the worse i felt because, god no, im not hopeless. im helpless, or maybe i wallow too much in my own self pity. i dont know the difference. every goddamn day feels like another waking nightmare, im sick of living with my mom, im sick of her not letting me get a job. i dont want my name on the damn electric bill because shes over $1,000 in debt to the power company anymore. shes already ruining my credit, and i dont even have a damn job! not to mention her fucking kid, her 5yo fucking kid, im taking care of. the product of the man who beat me over and over again, threatened to kill me, and then he took a greyhound bus out of our lives. why didnt she protect me? he never once hit her, or anyone else, why didnt mom help me? i was only 13 when he first pulled me by my hair and slammed me into the stairs because i let moms ice cream tub melt on the kitchen table for half an hour. it took him till my brother was 3 to leave. she valued him over me, and even now. im always taking care of my brother, even when he screams at me, cusses at me, throws things at me, spits on me, hits me, kicks me, claws me, bites me, and more. you get the point. she never even tells him to stop, she doesnt have to scream, or hurt him, or anything. just please, please tell them to stop hurting me. i still take care of him. i take care of him when she takes 20 fucking benadryl and passes out for the full time shes at home between shifts. i sacrificed my education to "help her" take care of him. and she gets mad at me when i parent him, when i tell him off, or even more mad when i have to cry and beg him to stop hurting me. she says "youre 22 years old, get a grip" when im covered in bruises from the 5 year old "hes five!" she will scream when i tell her he hurts me. "he is five, hes supposed to listen to you" i said once, and she just stared at me. im always fucking things up, she never fails to let me know, when she looks at me like that i know its my fault. i cant even begin on my relationship, i shouldnt, he might see this. i just want to give up, im so tired of caring, i want to let it all go. my dog died, i ruined him too, i couldnt take him to the vet i couldnt help him. hes gone because i failed. my baby, im not saying that in the cringy melinial way, he saved me from suicide. so many times, it was "hell be so confused why im gone..", "hes gonna miss me", "whos gonna take care of him?" but now hes gone and im still here. my baby, is gone and im so selfishly still here. why wouldnt she let me get a job? i couldve taken him, i couldve at least got him put down so he didnt have to suffer in his favourite spot on my bed till his kidneys put him down for us. if i didnt know, my boyfriend would kill himself too when he comes home from classes tomorrow, and i was dead, i would take the entire 160 count bottle of benadryl i stole from moms room. i want to see my baby, he never ever missed on helping me, i owe him my life and couldnt even give him that when he passed. but not for lack of trying.

but even so, i dont feel hopeless. maybe only yearning, but it feels enough like hope. when i use my right hand to stroke my left cheek and neck, it almost feels like someone else. i get a glimmer of a thought, "one day, i wont have to beg to be taken care of. someone will do it because they want to.", but still, it hurts worse. i dont know how i can possibly derive so much gut wrenching pain from that little bit of hope, but i do. and still, i cant help myself, i cant blame anyone else. i can only hope someone will come save me. if i could handle this all on my own, i wouldnt be here typing this.

i want to decompose.

writing this after that monster of a textblock in the tags, but if you were wondering. im not exaggerating about the mess, and i wouldnt normally judge. because i have had worse bedrooms, mental illness is a bitch. but its in the common area, and she absolutely does make the 5yo live in it. she moved out to the living room after their room was too trashed for her to even walk in, so she toated her 50" fucking tv right out there and hasnt moved, accept to go to work, since. everyone pray or cross your fingers or send me some good energy to hope she gets sliced into a million pieces at work instead of accidentally oding on bennies so i can raise my brother with her life insurance money.

[khaleesiofalicante]

and this chapter the new one is the reason why i would never stop loving my little Max blueberry, i loved him since i first knew of his existence (in teh fictional world) btlio was the second story i ever fucking picked up after completing tmi even before the rest of teh tftsa book. I ... the pain never stops, last time i was crying over arthur now i am crying over max , tbh i i was also a little biased towards max throughout the whole lbaf story ( only time i was a little furstrated was because of the mallory trust situation - but it just showed he is too good for the world my max) and DAVID?! wow that boy has literally been tortured since birth with just a good few years sprinkled in between. WHYYYY DANI WHYY, also other max did a honoruble thing choosig teh world but his FAMILY!?? wow. my max i just want hi to be alright ( and teh rafe and max scene was sooo heartbreaking but such a heart touching moment) also magnus baby stop taking credit for all teh bad things happening, buddy, you are good, believ that. wow my max ,.,, and david wow, i sort of knew it was going to come to these two choices, and wehenver i wondered about teh trigge rof the story i aways thought either arthur will die or..actually it was only what i thought, but i was like nahh dani wont, arthur is her fav baby she wont, but girl whattt, i wasnt surpised but i was surpised *insert surprised pickachu face* but i didnt forsee max having to make such a difficult choice, so now he took arthur to pandemobium, his body is disintegrated, and he truly is gone isnt he. also whoa HERMES BACK OFF BUDDY BACK TEH FUCK OFF, DONT TOUCH MY MAX, HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING SAVED YOUR ASSES by making kincaid exist you bitch. i hope max tells him or atleast magnus does something to protect him, i know he wont let hermes hurt his kid, no wayy.

also so if in the alt uni, alec is dead when lance destroyes idris, like rafe and all everyone

ALSO THAT BITCH FUCKING DONKEY MADELINE AND KYLE (firts they hurt kincaid, and then HE SAYS BITCHY THINSG ABOUT ARTHUR ?whore ? that what that piece of shit said you are a fukcing whore pretending to love his wife and then also telling hell hurt her.

he is psychotic both of them like MADELINE THAT FUCKING BITCHJUST AS BAD AS MALLORY ACTUALLY WORSE, saying david got to hold him was more than he deserved, NOW I am like glad she suffered, PLEASE DANI DO GODS WORK AND MAKE THEM SUFFERRRRRRRRRRRR LIKE ANYTHING, nothing will be enough at this point, (ps this is actually how real life abusive toxic marraiges also exist like threatening to harm the mom to a kid and the mom who stays their willingly bc of how they believe they are dependent and love their husbands, who are emotionally manipulative.) its so hard to see for people about the suffering and people just go on like that.

mallory (sry madeline i mean, i just exhanged them in my head) (like bitch you all knew the repurcussions of going to that meeting and werent you teh one who aupported david, and wtf excuse does kyle have aother than his bruised ego to want this shit so bad) and kyle have no redemption. and like people no matter how scared just allow such inhumaness like killing kids, harming torturing them and teh fact that even in real life this has happened in history is disgusted.

thank you for all your hardwork and giving us this chapter.

I say this with my whole heart but I would literally pay money to watch you life react to LBAF chapters 😂😂😂

[cheeseandbretboy]

the painting i continued (from longer than a year ago) has too bright white highlights so i need to get rid of them AND quite possibly it would be nice to just give up and do whaeter and get on the train just ot look at all the stations i havent seen before nd cvt and listten to whip your kids on repeat again and again and have no money to afford to eat and find someone who is just so ?? and mean but not in that non self absorbed self absorbed way and stupid because everyone has too much to look forward to and too much to complain about and that makes everyone so yucky and hypocritical and ughghurejne me whenni have work tmr ALSO need to print out more movie photos AND anyone i meet gets so human and i get sick of them so easily but not myself so i will always be alone and thats a good thing unless im not listening to music then it is not so good bc i can hear my breathing an feel my skin also what even is life without music its just ------------------ no ty i do not want to be like amber or ritchie but oh i did thrift their shoes and also jasons but hes kind of an L WAIT that makes so much sense anyway that scene where they are walking in the store with the heavy combat boots that have been discontinued (why?) and a shotgun wow! imagine being tricked by a soda can what a loser anyway the sehleves ive built are really nice and after doing that with hands blistered and joints sore i realised i can fit everythign insdie it and oh god im gonna lose absolutely everything! and thn something even WoORSE hit me that none of this even means anytnign, what the flip, imagine this format will stop and we only live in the real world what then maybe just maybe musicals make sense and then i bash my head into my desk HOW COULD U FOR A SECOND THINK MUSICALS ARE OKAY blood is spurting just likein that scene in longlegs dilf, jokes no maybe nicholas cage hes too pasty this has gotten long uve recently discovered this rly underground and unpopular artist michael jackson yea nobodies really heard of him sigh WHY DO I HAVEA FRENCH BOOK OH GOD IM GOING TO HELL people should put everything ive ever ever made into a bible because that is all i am and i am so happy that is true so yea put this in as well and all my assigmnets and paintings and digital art from 2019 and old drawings and scribbles and south park doodles and short stories ad gore and all the deleted notes of measurrements (sigh why phone) and dont forget all the photos and the annotations i rubbed out later cuz they sounded dumb and too personal remember always to make ur writing as obscure as possible because people always look to make everything about them hey emotions are really stupid our brains are amazing at finding information so much of it but our conciousness is preoccupied with other stupid stuff like education and being horny so all we get is emotions that have been processed information so hey our thinking brain really is in the back seat and we cant change it yk im bnad! im bad! u knowit really really bad megamind... evan peters is eyeing me rn.. i did a really good job of diverting my mental problems its actually really good but i am hoping we can get back to them once they get fixed and maybe this dependence wiol go away too right maybe and wait a darn second are you telling me i wont find myself a tim burton anti hero what the flip unbelievable may i get a refund never sell your doc martens just break them in please the blisters and pus and blood will pass and they will be great i swear unless theyre the max platform types then u might have to keep getting pain but thats okay god dont tell me i need to work in the future although when i watched the movie for the 2nd time in cinemas there was 3 seconds where there was a doctor with a mask and wowww maybe i shld become one of those but i dontthink i have the right motivation maybe neurobiology maybe quantum mechanics mabe maybe even both like quantum mind god thats interesting but only after biology i need to get worried abt climate change and then realise OH MY GOD NOTHING MATTERS BUT OUR MINDS and thats

[lvxybby]

It kills me to love you (kai anderson x reader) Angst. (it'll get better <3) PART 2

i sat there on the bench. i became full of stress once i hung up on kai. i did way to much and i know ill get punished for it. will he beat me? scream and yell at me? lock me in a closet? i dont know. i really cant deal with him anymore. i want the things he promised me. he promised to keep me safe, educate me, stay LOYAL to me if im loyal to him, WHICH IS ALL I HAVE BEEN! he has promised me so much! and EVERY SINGLE ONE IS BROKEN! i cant take it! i wont! im tired of him calling me weak and a slut for crying over something or dressing a certain way. i have been taking all his bullshit for so long, and he doesnt expect me to feel bad? sometimes i really miss the old kai. the sweet quiet fun kai. the one who would braid my hair and kiss my cheek when im sad. i miss him coming over and talking to me about his parents. he wont tell me anything because hes so eaten up with paranoia. and vince? he doesnt help one bit. his brother is a mess and all he does is supply kai with adderall! i sat there on that bench or hours just thinking. it grew darker and darker and soon it was 10:30. i held my things close to my body. i didnt want to go back. i couldnt go back. soon i saw the familiar grey toyota pull up onto the side of the curb. kai along with meadow got out. dear lord help me. her "very real blonde" hair was over her shoulders and down her back. i sat patiently and waited. kai walked over to me and slapped me so hard i thought i would pass out. "what the fuck!" he shouted. i stayed quiet. "seriously what the fuck" meadow said "oh shut your fucking mouth you cunt!" i snapped back at her "you have no reason to be in this? why the hell are you even here?!" i continued. kai hit me once more. "you have no right to talk to her like that after what you've done" he growled. "kai i dont want to be around you! thats why i left! all you care about anymore is yourself and meadow! YOU always call me weak and a slut and a attention seeker! ALL those names and you dont expect me to get upset! I DONT WANT TO BE AROUND YOU!" i cried out "what happened to the loyalty? you promised loyalty to go both ways and ive been by your side, helping you dispose of YOUR doings! i do my task no matter how i feel! i always do what you want me to and you dont do anything else for me!" i yelled at him. he snatched my arm and dragged me to his car. i fought back, digging my nails into his skin. i clawed and dug them into his arm but it didnt stop him. meadow followed us. he opened the door and threw me into the back. i hit my head hard on the other side. i quivered as kai got into the front seat, meadow following. he put on his seatbelt and began to drive back to his house. was this it? is this all he would do? no. theres no way. i quietly let tears flow down my face. i rubbed the spot where i hit my head. it felt warm. i moved my hand to find blood smeared onto it. i covered my mouth as i cried a bit more. he stopped right in front of his house and got out. he came over by me and opened the door and began to drag me out by my hair. the asphalt scratched and cut my calves, leaving my legs bleeding. i tried to force his hand away from my hair but he never let go. he pulled me inside and slammed his door "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU" he screamed. "YOU DONT TALK ABOUT THAT ANYWHERE ELSE BUT HERE" he continued. i cried more. he dragged me down to the basement and threw me down onto the hard cold floor. my head was bleeding so much by now. i cried out in pain from the sudden force. i was in so much pain. everything hurt, so badly. "kai please" i cried. i couldnt even stand up i hurt so bad. "no im not done with you" he whispered close to me. "kai all i did was leave the house for a few hours cause i was upset! i never wanted this to happen! i left cause i couldnt take it anymore! i have done so much for you for 2 years! 2! but meadow kills a guy and it so perfect! Ive done so much shit for you! to make YOU happy to make YOU comfortable I HAVE DONE SO MUCH BUT YOU DONT CARE! SO WHY DO YOU WANT ME AROUND!?" I yelled back at him. he sat there quiet for a minute.

[just-another-useless-human]

Recently seen this post about logan falling first:

And that mixed in my brain, made me think:

Logan spend most of his time drunk and angry and sad, in his universe, feeling empty and hated with nothing left in life.

When Dsadpool kidnaps him, he is of course confused and angry because who tf is this guy. But then he finds out more and more about this guy, about his /family/ and what he would do for them, and wants to help him get his back.

Wade gives him so much hope, when he says that he can fix his universe, everything he has done wrong. God, how he wishes to get out of the hell of hating himself for his mistakes, he would do everything. When he finds out that it will probably not come true he gets so angry, he hoped for an end of his suffering, getting sad because his hope is lost and he will rot for the rest of his lifetime, then letting his anger out on wade, wich he can without killing him, he will not die, even if on the outside he acts like he would love to kill him, he rather loves that he cant die, that Wade even has enjoyment in fighting with him.

In the end he stays with Wade because if he cant save his own world he can help him save his, so he wont go though the pain he did and still does.

He falls for him because he feels most alive he has every felt in those few days than he has in the past years, where he has felt nothing but pain and hate. He feels comfortable with Wade because he gives him attention and safety in a way that he has never felt, he wont die like the others did, maybe he hopes for a future together, even if just a friendship, he will take anything.

When he hears that the person will die who destoys the time ripper, he decides that Wade will not die, he will see his family again, its worth it.

He gets so angry at Wade for sacrificing himself, when he has a world to go back to, Logan has nothing. But he feels something inside of him at the thought of Wade thinking that Logans life is worth enough to die for. That's when he decides that he won't let Wade to this alone, he has nothing to go back to anyway, so why let him suffer and die alone.

In his last moments (or so he thinks), he remembers the days with Wade, they are colorful, not like it is back in his universe. He did this for Wade, for his world, for his family, for the most love he has felt, like he had only been alive since Wade found him.

When they survive, he thinks to the possibilities, Wade getting his family back and maybe having a friend more. When they sit and eat at the end of it all, he starts to doubt himself, he was there to get wades family back, nothing more, so he goes, doesn't know where to, but he goes. When Wade calls out for him, he hopes once again, and it is worth it, it was all worth it.

He sits at a table full of people who just accepted him and feels so happy to finally having found home.

Wait... Wait a second.

[vegantinatalist]

Damn you saw an old lady get mugged?? Damn that's fucked I wish her the best. Not trying to be a creep but what state do you in?? Sound high crime af.

I noticed you said you were given heart surgery. For what I may ask? And when you make these attempts what are you thinking about? how does the world feel? I'm sorry for being nosey but I'm intrigued. Also what is the "one thing" keeping you alive? Again if I may ask?

Bro Don't go the gun route that Will seriously traumatize your friends/love one's and if you fuck up you'll be a freak (physically speaking). Not gonna lie though it's extremely rare to see a woman want to opt that route, Usually when men commit suicide they go the gun route. Not trying to sound like a middle school edglord but that's kind've radical.

As far as sodium nitrite goes how did you test it? What does it do to the human body? Also why would it be bad to confuse nitrite and nitrate?

What inert gas? And how would it fuck me up?

Also if you read drop some tragic love story books. ,(both old and new)

I like that trope to tbh but I also like the trope where they fight to live.

Your blog and your vibe kind've reminds me of those Russian/Eastern euro misanthropic, mysterious novelist that people are still mystified by long after there demise.

This is the goodnight anon btw

im nervous about getting doxed so i wont say but yeah it was sad. ive also had my car broken into multiple times. its definitely not as bad here as other places though.

i attempted suicide via overdose of a ton of substances at once, achieved cardiac death but was revived against my will and was in a coma for a while.

i was thinking about the same things i think about every day really. a lot of things. but that day something minor was able to push me into that “just do it” state. suicide and really all actions are odd, you dont have as much control as youd like to think. it probably wont happen when YOU want it to but whenever your body randomly feels like it. thats when ive had the most successful attempts anyway. the planned ones always went weak af.

the world feels like hell always, always has. it just, is.

the one thing keeping me alive is kind of a secret, it involves something i dont want people to know about or mess with. its nothing illegal or anything weird though. ill talk about it after ive done it.

the people in my life actually know about and support my plan. they wont be traumatized. and the people in my life who dont support me wont see it and i dont care about them. and lol, thank you

i tested it by drinking it in gradual doses until just under the lethal dose. i wanted to see if it was true that it doesnt hurt you or see if the fear mongering was valid. it doesnt hurt. just mild lightheadedness, maybe mild headache.

Methemoglobinemia. stops your body from transporting oxygen basically, but you can still expel carbon dioxide so no painful suffocation feeling, similar to inert gas. non inert gas causes respiratory acidosis which is very painful (non inert gas is considered the most humane slaughter method btw. fuck that)

best inert gases are nitrogen and argon, you can get them at welding supply stores. you should use these if you are euthanizing small pets with a euthanasia tank, DO NOT USE CO2. everyone is using co2 even vets because theyre dumb fucks.

for both inert and non inert gas you will be very damaged if you dont die. brain damage risk. it would take a lot longer for methemoglobinemia to give you brain damage. gas does something else to you, i forget the name. im guessing just hypoxia.

no books about it totally suit my tastes which is why im actually writing my own.

omg thats such a complement lol. i am in fact a reclusive novelist that people dont understand lmao. i have made a lot of things ive never posted and may never post, i sometimes imagine how people finding it would react lol. probably no one ever will though.