#this only my second watch through of gossip girl so let's see how i feel abt it after all the context my first watch gave me

[taus-inc]

nate trying to give Jenny a box of chocolates as a "please keep quiet abt me trying to cheat on my gf again" to IMMEDIATELY giving it to Blaire as an apology gift IN JENNYS FACE??? he's going to hell.

[rafeyswrd]

sweet girl / RAFE CAMERON #2

summary. your boyfriend lets you toughen up. 1 x 05 warnings. manipulative dark rafe. mean rafe ( not to reader ). protective rafe. bad friends. slightly dark!reader!!

REBLOGS HEAVILY APPRECIATED

PART ONE.

your eyes blurred at the screen gripped within your manicured fingers, eyes darting at it once more before sighing in defeat. your texts going through, yet remaining ignored. again.

days after your conversation with rafe, 3 to be exact, you assumed your friends would have the decency to check on you. to call and tell you how apologetic they were for putting you in a position where you could not deny them help. but as the hours ticked by, and the sun set, not one believed you were worth the care.

"nothing yet?" rafe's voice chimed through the music, standing only close enough to not warrant attention from the crowd. close enough to have it look like he's simply conversing with his sister's best friend.

you shook your head, pouting as you watched pope and kiara gossip their way through the crowd. "do you think i did anything wrong?"

he scoffed, turning around so that his back is facing you, watching your friends with narrowed eyes. "fuck no. they were using you, baby. if anything they should be the ones begging you for forgiveness."

you furrow your brows, gulping at the intensity of his gaze on your friends. one of which was jj, and your lips parted at the sight of his bruised face. one of his eyes swollen to the point of fluttering shut and cheeks smeared purple and blue on each side.

you hated him for ignoring you, for being the one to let you go off the sides of the boat yet not care enough to contact you after what had occurred. yet even then, you found your body moving away from rafe's; until you realized how stiff his grip on your wrist was.

"you’re not going to see him," he practically snarled, lips curled. yet his touch loosened on your jewelled flesh.

"look at him rafe, i-"

he stepped closer, and one of his hands pushed a stray curl away from your line of sight, lashes fluttering at the bare familiarity of it all. "i'll deal with him, looks like he's working for us tonight."

you let it go, eventually. sarah had you entertained minute after another, dancing with you until your legs gave out - the only one who wouldn't let you waste your night in drunken misery.

"you want a drink sar?" the question was fleeting, and she stayed silent for a moment before nodding with a sheepish smile in which you returned before leaving - your chest feeling heavy.

the whites of your dress gradually drew darker as you dragged your feet closer to the bar, pouting when you found yourself endlessly glancing around the room; your boyfriend was nowhere in sight, and sooner or later worry started piling within your lungs.

just before you could find a seat across the bar counters - had your feet almost lost to your weight, did you register the angered sound of the man you had been shamelessly looking for. at last, finding yourself entering the male bathroom with timid steps.

"what the hell are you doing?" jj's voice raptured through, and you ultimately gave in to glance around the room.

rafe's fists were clenched around jj's wrinkled shirt, blood dripping from his nose onto your boyfriend's calloused fingers. you licked your lips at rafe's curious gaze, his body tense at your frame - still unsure on how to read you. unsure on whether he'd finally managed to scare you away.

though it shifted more sinisterly when you leaned against the wall and shrugged, glancing at rafe for a moment; cheeks blazing at his nod of approval.

"what, maybank? my girl isn't welcome around you now that you can't use her anymore? hmm?" rafe gritted out, tapping on jj's bruised cheek.

nothing registered in your mind yet, not how rafe had just outed you, as the next moving seconds seem to stop and your breathing hitched through the depths of your chest. jj had pushed rafe away, a punch soaring through the air and landing swiftly onto his face.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?" you spat out, shoving at jj's stomach before leaning near rafe's hunched figure. your fingers delicately caressing the skin aligned with his cheek bones, and rafe found himself leaning into the softness of your touch.

jj's face contorted to one of anger, not taking notice of the security guard rushing behind him, until his hands were roughly dragged behind his back with drastic force. "you gonna stay with this asshole? over your own friends?"

you pouted, and your eyes had well up for the second time this evening. rafe wiped at his cheek roughly, giving your waist a light pinch when hesitation rushed across your features.

his heart was beating erratically, and if his face didn't show it then the intensity of his heaving chest did; rafe was scared. his fear of frightening you into tears, of away from loving him had crossed his mind - and as you hesitated, he found himself gritting his teeth so immensily it drove his jaw to pain.

until you nodded, and your hands stroked rafe's jaw once more. "fuck you, jj."

the blonde boy was dragged away, rafe straightening his back while clearing his throat, as if nothing had just transpired. his lips pinched upwards, and as the minutes passed they soon found yours, whispering words laced with honey into your strawberry lipgloss.

"see that wasn't so hard was it?"

but it was. you'd felt the muscles contract deeply across your lungs you did not know if it were from rafe's bruising kiss or fear that you had just lost all your friends.

though eventually you sighed into his touch, his hands coiling around a curl on your head and pulling you so close you'd be formed as one.

TAGLIST. @syraxnyra @nemesyaaa @sideblogficrecslmao

[yutarot]

IN PERFECT SYNC [j.jh smau]

betrayal [noun]  /bɪˈtreɪ.əl/

1 : the act of dissapointing a persons trust, hopes or expectations.

2 : revelation of something hidden or secret.

3 : failure to keep or honour a promise, principle or cherished memory, etc.

twelve — betrayal. wc: 1k

café neoro. 4:14pm

if you were to say you weren’t confused by the sudden cafe invitation, you’d be lying.

as you enter the front door, triggering the cafe’s bell to ring, you spot giselle sat in the far corner, biting her nails; a habit she does only when she’s dreading something.

that’s weird.

she spots you, dropping her hands to the table and nodding you over to come and sit with her.

“you’re here!” she squeals, “you’re here..”

the atmosphere is strange, you must admit and there’s something odd lining the air between you. so you begin to drone on about your class in efforts to ease off the weirdness.

“urg, im so sick of my professor just constantly leaving the hall. im literally paying to be here and he can’t even be bothered to stay!” you whine as you set your bag down beside you, sitting opposite giselle on the cafes patchwork coach.

it’s a cute little place, you and the girls come here often to catch up when you don’t see eachother for periods of time in exam season.

but for giselle to ask you here alone? when neither of you have exams for months?

there was something going on.

“honestly, i wish my professor would leave sometimes.” she replies. “she’s so boring!”

you laugh, spending the next 20 minutes complaining about your courses and gossiping about overheard conversations.

that’s until you decide to bring up giselle’s absence from the party the other night.

“where did you even go?!” you ask, too excited for your own good. but you know giselle.

and you know she’s forcing her smile.

“oh, just some room upstairs, no idea who’s. could have been chenles for all i know.” she laughed.

you take a sip of your coffee as you laugh in reply, winking at her jokingly. “so, who was the guy? was he good at yk… that stuff..”

she giggles as she nods. but her smile withers.

“look, yn.”

the sudden change of atmosphere brings you right back to the feeling of the beginning of your meet-up, the cold, stark vibe of something being wrong, of something eating away at whatever is between you.

“i told myself that i should be honest with you, so i will.” she continues.

“what is it, giselle? you’re scaring me.”

she’s silent for a moment.

the silence kills.

but you soon find out that it isn’t the silence that is killing you, its the thought that in these mere seconds, giselle is counting down the moments until she tells you who it is.

until she knowingly breaks your heart.

“it was jaehyun. the guy i slept with was jaehyun.”

your mind feels heavy, unattached even.

how could she do this? after everything you went through. she was the one who was there the entire time, she was the one who comforted you, telling you how he was in the wrong and how he deserved the worst kind of punishment for what he did.

and yet, in the end, she must have never truly believed it. because now she has betrayed your trust.

and she has betrayed you.

“what?” you can feel your vision going foggy, tears welling up in your eyes.

“i know, i know. i shouldn’t have, but can you really blame me?”

“yes!” you raise your voice, and your thankful that the cafe is near empty. “giselle…”

there’s a pause of silence as she lets you figure out what you want to say.

but you continue. “you know what he did to me. you hugged me as i cried when i found out. i had no friends because of him, none! all the girls in highschool hated me giselle, do you know how that feels?”

you’re crying at this point, but she listens, watches as you burst into tears.

“do you know how it feels to find out your bestfriend had been shit-talking you to all the girls just so he could get in their pants?! he had used me as a pickup line giselle, he had embarrassed me, telling girls he thought i was ugly, annoying, that he only tolerated me to make himself look better, all so that they wouldn’t get jealous! do you know how that feels?”

“…no.”

“so why would you do that?” you quieten down, almost to a whisper as you struggle to get your words out. “you know how much he hurt me, about how i can never be friends with half the girls in this college because to this day they still laugh and point. and yet, you don’t care about any of that.”

“it was one night, yn.”

“and yet you still felt that that one night was important than my feelings. how do u think im going to look when people find out my best friend has slept with him? i already look stupid enough!”

“yn, noone will know, i promise.” she replies.

“i know. that’s enough.” you stand up, leaving giselle sat there as you make your way to the door as you let the tears fall.

you feel 18 again, you feel the eyes, the giggles as you would when u walked down the hallway with jaehyun, unaware of what he had been doing behind your back.

jaehyun was probably so smug right now, knowing he had not only used you in highschool, but in college too, and with your own bestfriend on top of all that.

so now, you hate him even more that you ever did before.

you’ll never understand him, you’ll never know why he did what he did.

but there’s one thing you’ll know you will always do:

you will always hate him.

mlist — next

notes; so!.. i guess the truth is out now….. hope u guys don’t hate me too much! 😄😄 (btw there won’t be a chapter tmr bc im busy all day and don’t have the next chapter written, the next update will be sunday! sorry😞)

taglist — open; @https-yeonjun @chenlesfavorite @therealbobbyshloby @f6llsun @jkslvsnella @nanaxwi @cloudmrk @neocrashed @vernonburger @vividwritess @taeeflwrr @mmjhh1998 @cyjzzl @stareaa @minkyuncutie @mrkleelvr @dudekiss3r @nattan127 @slayhaechan @jaeveil @tynlvr @mslora @nosungluv @grassbutneo @dokyriu @girlz4jaem @axo-l0tl @yyangj3lly @solvrse @m1ng1swife @gentlepeach @xiuriii @soobinbunnie5 @tocupid @apolloxxivmin @ctrlstar @gyuguys @tokitosun @i-kai @flamingi @mrkleelvr @en-dream @queenrachelpink @ssweetreveries @swanyvess @flaminghotyourmom @hyuck-me @cryingforjae @hizhu @starfilledgaze

[spatialwave]

Angus Tully is your tutor. Run with it.

𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐫. (fem!reader)

part 2 —>

pre-calc wasn’t your strong suit, it never was, but you’d be damned if it you would let it get in the way of being accepted into an ivy league—harvard preferred. you would be the first of your family to go to college and being sent to an all all-girls private boarding school was already taking quite the chunk of change out of your parent’s wallets. you had to make your time worth it.

but a d+ wasn’t going to cut it. a couple girls from your class had tried to tutor you, but with giggling and gossiping taking reign, it was a bust. you couldn’t concentrate on raising your grade and your teacher had grown desperate because he saw your potential.

that’s when they decided that maybe a boy from barton would be a good fit.

when they shared the idea you wondered how on earth the teachers ever thought it would be a good idea to ask a boy to tutor you. though, you assumed whoever they chose would be someone, for lack of better words, stuck up. a boy so focused on his own grades and getting extra credits, that you would be nothing more than a check mark on a box.

then you met angus tully and you realized you were so wrong.

he was handsome, tall and lanky. had big brown eyes that made you shiver anytime he glanced in your direction. you were a flustered mess around him, but you was certain it came off as seeming unprepared for tutoring sessions rather than being nervous because of him. you had to breathe slowly when he was sitting next to you, your text book open as he explained algebra to the best of his ability.

he had told you how he wasn’t top of the class, but compared to your level of knowledge he was incredible. if only you could concentrate, instead of your eyes fixating on his fingers as they traced the sentences in the textbook, or how he pursed his lips when he’d think over a problem.

you noticed every little detail about him in your first tutoring session, by the second session all you could do was admire him. you hardly learned a damn thing.

“did you hear me?” the voice broke into the daze you were in. your eyes had been fixated on angus’ lips as he spoke and you quickly perked up, clearing your throat.

“uh—“ you spoke softly, looking down at the textbook and your blank assignment sheet.

“you were staring at my lips, weren’t you?” he asked, your eyes darting to his face as you noticed the smirk he wore. god, there was no escaping this.

“what? no, i wasn’t.” you protested through a nervous laugh, feeling your heart beat quick against your ribs, “that’s silly.”

“it’s okay, i try to look down your shirt sometimes.” angus’ voice was low as his lips twitched in amusement.

your mouth parted in shock, your eyes darting down to spot a couple of buttons on your school uniform had popped open.

“your brave for admitting that,” you murmured, trying to hide the smile that dared to show on your lips as you let your gaze focus on the textbook.

“and you still won’t admit you were looking at my lips,” he teased you, turning in his seat slightly to look at you better. his brown eyes scanned over you, hoping that his interest was obvious.

you turned your gaze back to him, watching him with slightly narrowed eyes as you tried to form proper thoughts in your head. it’s like you were malfunctioning because all you could do was look at his lips again. thin, yet naturally pouty.

it was a blur—you hadn’t even realized you kissed him until you pulled back, your lips tingling and lips slightly parted in awe. you looked at angus and you were delighted to see how flustered you had made him.

his cheeks had dusted pink and he was pressing his lips together in a thin line after licking them, having tasted the cherry lip balm you had been wearing.

“i was staring at your lips.” you admitted, chewing coyly on your bottom lip as you watched angus closely, eager to taste his lips again.

“can i get a proper look down your shirt?” he blurted.

“oh my god,” you whined.

[fandom-chic]

Please Please Please: Chapter 4

Summary: Y/N is only a child when she and Tommy Shelby meet. The two quickly become best friends as they grow up in Small Heath. As the years go by, Y/N and Tommy realize there may be more to their friendship than they originally thought.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Y/N

A/N: Hello everybody! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Love seeing all the comments, they make my heart smile. You guys rock my socks <3

Previous chapter

James and Y/N drove in silence through the streets of Small Heath. It was a silence that hung in the air like the end of a bad joke, except no one forced a polite smile, especially Y/N. All she wanted to do was curl in a ball on her bed and hope for sleep to take her away from Tommy. It seemed to be the only time she could truly escape from his grasp on her. It was when she saw the outline of The Garrison did she realize she had another outlet to forget about Thomas Shelby.

“Let me out here,” she said, not bothering to glance at her date. She felt the car slow to a stop and she hopped out. It was then that she spared a glance at James. There was a pitiful air to him, one that told her this was the last time she would see him.

“Get home safe.” Was all he said, before pulling her door shut and driving off. She watched the automobile disappear into the darkness. She would get home how she got home at this point, all she knew at this moment was she needed a glass of whiskey in her hand. She walked through the front door of The Garrison and was surprised to see it almost empty, except for a few patrons and one familiar figure.

“Look who the hell decided to show up.” she teased, a smile musing upon her lips. Arthur turned to face her, a goofy smirk on his face.

“If it ain’t Y/N,” he got up from his spot at the bar, approaching the younger woman and enveloping her in a hug. “How are you, love?”

“I’m alright,” Was all she was willing to disclose to him. He didn’t dig deeper as he ushered her toward the bar. 

“And what will the lady be drinking tonight,” he asked, motioning for the bartender to approach.

“The strongest whiskey you have,” she replied, eliciting an eyebrow raise from the bartender. He could sense her present level of intoxication, but he didn’t question it. He poured her a glass, nodded toward Arthur, and began to clean the bar. She took a large swig, letting the amber liquid slide down her throat. It burned going down but the buzz that was there afterwards made up for it. 

“I never took you for a whiskey girl,” Arthur said, taking another sip of his own.

“I guess it’s one of those nights,” she said, preparing herself to guzzle down the rest.

“So, who’s the bastard who broke your heart this time?” She smirked to herself, knowing Arthur had seen this show before. He was well acquainted with the bad luck that seemed to revolve around her love life. During her years of friendship with Tommy, Arthur would be pulled into the teenage drama that revolved around the duo. He pretended to be annoyed by all the chaos and gossip that accompanied the teens, but she could tell he enjoyed hearing about their lives.

She waved down the bartender, asking for another drink before responding, “Your fucking brother.” 

A sigh escaped Arthur’s lips, “What’d the fucker do this time?” he asked. She shook her head to herself as the bartender poured her second drink of the last few minutes.

“He told me he didn’t want to see me anymore,” She took a sip, “He said our friendship didn’t make sense. What the hell does that even mean? It doesn’t have to make sense! It’s not a bloody algebra problem! It’s such bullshit.” She could feel the steam coming out of her ears.

“What a bastard,” Arthur said wistfully, as if there were words between the spaces of that sentence that needed to be said. 

“A bastard indeed,” Was her response. She stared straight ahead as Arthur turned to face the younger woman.

“Tommy will kill me if I told you this but,” he gestured to Y/N, “I can’t see you looking that sad. It breaks me heart.” A stifled chuckle escaped her lips, bringing the cup up to her mouth to take another long sip. Everything inside her tried not to look at Arthur because she knew the second she looked into his eyes, she would break. 

“What is it?” she asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer. 

A long exhale escaped her friend as he responded, “He misses you like hell, kid.” She impulsively turned toward the man beside her.

“He sure has a shitty way of showing it,” she said, a quiver in her voice. 

“Since whatever happened that day on the lake, he hasn’t been himself,” Arthur said, taking a swig of his drink, “He’s been more solemn than he already is and that’s saying a lot. Usually, you’re the one to make him less depressed” A bitter laugh erupted from her as she tried not to roll her eyes.

“So, he didn’t say that he missed me, you just think there’s the possibility that he might miss me.” She watched the way the ice settled in her drink, wishing she could sink.

Arthur shook his head to himself, knowing that he would not convince Y/N, “I know my brother, Y/N. Something went out in him after that day. The only thing I think it could be is you.” 

“Well,” she said, putting her drink down on the bar, “if he truly missed me, wouldn’t he have said something rather than push me away?” Arthur cocked an eyebrow at Y/N as she relayed the events of that night. 

Arthur finished off his drink before responding, “Tommy is who he is, and whatever is up his ass might just need a bit more time. You know as well as I do how he can be.”

“We’ve never fought for this long, Arthur,” she gazed away from him toward the bottles of liquor behind the bar, “Even as children when he hit me with the baseball, he was at my door within minutes to apologize.” If a child can see the difference between right and wrong that quickly, she could only imagine what an adult would do in that exact situation. To her surprise, she heard a light chuckle leave Arthur’s lips.

“Did he never tell you what actually happened that day?” Arthur questioned. Y/N looked toward him, tilting her head in confusion. “I guess he didn’t. Might as well tell you.” He brushed a hand through his hair before continuing, “That day, he wasn’t going to apologize.” This made her sit up straighter.

“What?” she asked, her whole friendship with Tommy rushing before her eyes. 

Arthur smirked and nodded, “He was ready to let you go, that’s how he has always been with everyone. Then I asked him if he was really willing to let you go over a stupid baseball game. I don’t know what it was about that but something clicked and he ran after you. That night when he came back home and I asked how the apology went,” Arthur paused, looking at Y/N, “he smiled and said ‘I think I met my best friend,’” Y/N could feel her heart soften at the end of that story. She knew she felt that way that day but she didn’t know Tommy felt the same. She felt a tear come into her eye and a finger go up to her eye to wipe it away.

“Why are you telling me this story?” she questioned.

“Sometimes, Tommy needs some convincing to realize he is making a shit decision,” Arthur motioned to the bartender to top off his drink, “And I just don’t think anyone has called him on this shit yet. I’d say you will have Tommy back soon.” Arthur’s words along with the alcohol softened Y/N.

“You really think so?” It felt like a plea coming from her lips.

Arthur nodded, “He needs you as much as you need him.” Y/N was ready to hug the older man when she noticed something, the music on the phonograph slowed to a tune she could recall from anywhere. It was The Girl With The Flaxen Hair by Claude Debussy, one of her favorite songs. Arthur saw the change in her expression and smiled at her.

“Care to dance?” he asked, holding a hand out to her. She looked around the room but the bar seemed empty except for the stray patron or two. Perfect.

“I would love to,” she responded as Arthur led her to the center of The Garrison. Her left hand goes into his and her right hand falls onto his shoulder. His left hand gives hers a squeeze and his right hand falls onto her back. She couldn’t help but smile at the man before her. He was the brother she always dreamed of having, tough but loving. She closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder as the song went on. For the first time in a long time, she was at peace, but that was only momentary. She felt Arthur stiffen as the song came to an end. She looked up at him to see him staring at the entryway. She followed his gaze to see a man she did not expect to see tonight.

“You two look to be having a good time.” Tommy’s voice felt like a dagger, punctuated by the exhale of a cigarette in her direction. Arthur immediately detached himself from Y/N, taking a step away as well. Y/N looked over at Arthur, her eyes pleading for him to say something, anything to make this situation less terrible.

“I’ll give you two some privacy.” That was the last thing she wanted him to say. Before she could interject, Arthur had already made his way into the back of the bar. 

Tommy turned to the remaining patrons, “Out. Now.” As if his words were a spell, they followed what he said. Now, they were truly alone. He takes his jacket and hat off, placing them on a table before asking, “What are you doing here?” 

She shrugged her shoulders, “It’s a bar and I wanted a drink.” 

Tommy let out a sigh, bringing his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose and rubbing it, “You know this is my bar.” 

She gave him a sarcastic smirk, “I didn’t think you would be coming here tonight, your date seemed like a pretty sure thing.” At that, Tommy approached the bar, opening up the side door to go behind it. He began to pour himself a drink.

“I can at least say I tried.” He mumbled to himself.

“Tried what?” Y/N asked. 

“To make you leave.” He puts the bottle down. “Seems I can’t get rid of you.” He throws back the drink.

“Tommy,” she said, approaching the bar, “Why do you want me to leave? Did it ever occur to you that I don’t want to go away?” Tommy didn’t meet her gaze, as he poured another drink.

“I want you to be safe, Y/N.” He put the bottle back on the counter, “You know the way that my life is going, that won’t be possible anymore.” 

The alcohol went around her shoulders like a blanket, giving her the confidence to say, “That’s so stupid, Tommy.” A real smile and laugh came out of Tommy. One that she had not seen in six months.

“Now that is not how I expected this conversation to go.” He took another drag of his cigarette, “In all the ways I thought of this talk going, I did not imagine you calling me stupid.” 

She giggled to herself, taking a seat on the barstool, “So, you knew we would speak again.” 

He leaned against the bar, his face inches from hers, “I told you, I can’t seem to get rid of you and you can’t seem to get rid of me. Maybe that’s just how life is supposed to be, you and me.” Her thoughts began to swim. She wasn’t sure if it was the booze or the fact that Tommy smelled like whiskey and soap. All she knew was that she didn’t want to move away from him. She only moved when the next song came on, one that she remembered well. The movement was a chuckle that turned into a laugh as Tommy followed suit. 

“You remember this song?” She asked, motioning toward the phonograph. 

He smirked and nodded, “How could I forget?” 

The first time that Y/N heard this song was a moment that replayed in her head from time to time. It was a hot August day. She was 16 and Tommy was 17. There was nothing to do that day but lay on the floor of Tommy’s room and listen to music. They stayed side by side for hours as track after track played. Finally, a track with provocative lyrics rose from the phonograph, causing Y/N to giggle and blush. Tommy looked over at her and smirked.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” she said, shaking her head as if she was trying to shake the blush off her cheeks. 

Tommy nudged her shoulder, “Come on, tell me.” 

She paused before answering, “I don’t know, the words are just so… raunchy.” The blush came back onto her lips as Tommy let out a belly laugh.

“What? Have you never had a shag?” This caused Y/N to burst out in laughter.

“I haven’t even had my first kiss, let alone slept with a man.” She expected Tommy to laugh along with her but when she looked over at him, he was already sat up, looking down at her. 

“Really?” There was a hint of disbelief in his voice.

She sat up and faced him, “Really,” Y/N said. She shrugged to herself, continuing, “I just don’t think anyone wants me in that way.” There was a long pause as Y/N expected Tommy to say something sarcastic but all he did was stare. Y/N matched his gaze. 

He then took his best friend's hand, “Don’t say that,” and continued to stare. He took a deep breath before saying, “If you’d like, I can kiss you.” Y/N didn’t know how to respond, all she could do was gaze into her best friend’s eyes. Neither teen knew what to do except let their faces grow closer together. His breath graced her lips, so close. Then the song changed, and so did her mind. 

“No, Tommy,” She backed away. “Not like this.” He backed away.

“I understand.” He said with a nod.

“I want it to be with someone I love who loves me back.” 

Y/N felt her mind come back to 1913 as she giggled to herself,  “Fuck that is what you said!” Tommy said as he took a large sip from his drink. 

She shrugged, “I was harsh, it might be why I didn’t have my first kiss for another year.” 

“I remember that,” Tommy said, sitting beside her at the bar, “George Milton, right?” 

She nodded, “By the bridge. He bit my lip and it bled.” Tommy let out a snicker. A comfortable silence fell over the two old friends. Tommy was the first to break it.

“So, why did you say no.” She looked up into his blue eyes to see a sense of curiosity there.

“I told you, my sixteen year old self wanted it to be with someone she loved,” Y/N took a sip of her whiskey before continuing, “She wanted magic and delusion. Still haven’t found that yet.” James crossed her mind for a fleeting second and left as quickly as he came. Tommy’s gaze did not leave hers, watching how the words stayed in her mind. Then the song changed again. The tune was a waltz, one that made a smile come onto Y/N's face. 

Tommy held out his hand, “Arthur can’t be the only one dancing with you tonight.” Y/N gave Tommy her hand as he led her out to where she and Arthur danced earlier. Their hands found their homes on each other's bodies easily as the couple began to sway to the tune. Y/N looked up into Tommy’s blue eyes and he gazed down into hers. His hand relaxed on the small of her back, sliding down and pulling her closer. She laid her head on his chest feeling his heartbeat against her cheek. She moved her arm behind him, holding him tight. The pair swayed as Tommy laid his head on top of hers. 

“Y/N?” She moved her head off his chest to look up at him, “You’re not delusional. You just want what you deserve.” That was when she felt her lips begin to grace his. As soon as they touched, Tommy backed away. 

The pair stopped and pulled apart.

“I have to go,” Tommy said. Before Y/N could question him, he was out the door.

Next chapter

Taglist:

@mrharringtonsbae

@mysticwitchcraftco

@globetrotter28

@swordofawriter

@annesunlight

@litteltourtius

@oneboygenius

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[corpsebasil]

hiii could i pls request something w modern prince nikolai?? i’m dying to know how they get back together😭

YES

Modern Nikolai part 3 I think!

The cafe is quiet at opening hours, but then again it always is now that it’s public knowledge that Nikolai avoids your former workplace.

The multitudes of ‘princess-hopefuls’—a term Oliver coined that refers to the women who think a casual run-in with Prince Nikolai could be the beginning of their own royal love story—have long since stopped haunting the corners of the coffee-scented establishment, the gentle hum of an espresso machine and the soft music in the background replacing excited whispers and gossiping.

That’s why when Nikolai, clad in a baseball cap and a sweatshirt from the university he graduated, sits across from you, the elderly patrons and younger customers that tend to mind their own business barely bat an eye. Only the currently working barista, a girl named Margery who replaced your own position, lifts her eyebrows briefly before going back to her work, the prince a minor distraction in her routine of grinding coffee beans and steaming milk.

“Y/N.” He starts immediately, his familiar voice raw and soft as he sits across from you. Your fingers, already wrapped tightly around a warm cappuccino, tighten further. “You look…I mean, I missed you. You..”

When you allow yourself to meet those sad blue eyes, so vivid even under the slight shadow of his visor, a feeling of longing overtakes you. You still love him. Of course you do. But he hurt you.

“Switzerland.” You say, ignoring his statement as you move forward. “Oliver invited me.”

He’s quiet for a second. His jaw twitches—the only sign of his irritation.

“He told me.”

“And?” You ask. You’ve always been able to read him like a book. Seeing him become slightly annoyed by his brother’s actions is only another reason on your rapidly growing list as to why you shouldn’t go. “You don’t want me there. I don’t want to be there. Olly—“

“I do want you there. Christ, Y/N.” His hand darts out to touch yours upon instinct before he squeezes his eyes shut, clearly frustrated with himself as he tucks his hands together under the table, safe in his lap. It’s too late though—his warm fingers have already brushed your knuckles and now you want to hold his hand again. God, you feel like a Victorian man seeing an ankle after a dry spell. “I’m sorry. I—Jenna misses you. Olly won’t stop talking about how excited he is for you to come. My mother—” Nikolai pauses. “My mother would be…absolutely relieved to see you.”

“Your mother, lied to me.” You say, eyebrows furrowed as you let go of your cup and tuck your own hands into your lap as well, mirroring his actions. Two sides of a coin, the two of you are. Two halves of one soul. Inseparable. Irreplaceable. “And Jenna, and Olly. And you.” Your voice catches and you both seem to tense at the same time. “You lied to me. You said you loved me but you—”

Oh shit, your voice is doing that thing where it sounds a bit croaky before you start crying.

Not here. Not here.

“Y/N,” Nikolai murmurs, reaching out again. His jaw is clenched tight as he splays his fingers, laying himself bare for you if you want him. “I’m sorry. For everything for—“ he squeezes his eyes shut. “I never should have lied to you. I know that. But I love you, okay? That’s real. I’m real.” When you don’t reply, only watch him with misty eyes, he swallows roughly. “I love you.”

Hesitantly, you take his hand. It sends a jolt through your body, the both of you taking in a slight inhale.

“I’ll come.” You say, trying not to tense when his fingers curl instantly around your own, his thumb tracing the back of your hand. His blue eyes are soft and full of relief.

“Thank you.” Nikolai tightens his fingers on yours for a moment, his voice tight. He clears his throat when you tug away, a forced, slightly nervous smirk on his mouth as he relaxes into his seat. “So…matching boards this year?”

You snort, remembering his awful attempts at teaching you to snowboard a year or so ago during a similar trip.

“You have to stand up.” Nikolai laughs, lifting the visor of his helmet as you crouch in the snow, gripping the board below you for dear life. “It’s not a sled.”

“It’s whatever I say it is.” You grumble, raising an eyebrow at the prince. He reaches down and, as if you weigh nothing, scoops you up under the arms and sets you down in the powdery snow.

“You didn’t even bother to strap in.” He scolds as you beam, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. Nikolai’s helmet taps yours in a semblance of a kiss before he’s guiding you towards the warmth of the resort, the prospect of hot chocolate and fireplaces raising your spirits.

You smile involuntarily at the memory and shrug, fidgeting with the gold bracelet on your wrist. The both of you seem to realize it’s one he got you at the same time but, thankfully, he doesn’t comment. Pride still lingers in his tone when he speaks, though.

“I’ll pick you up for the airport, then?” Nikolai says, tilting his head to the side in that boyish way of his.

You bite your lip, worried you’ll regret this, but nod.

WELLLL WHAT COULD HAPPEN ON THIS TEIP?

[thedeviltohisangel]

Can you do a request for John Egan where a new recruit calls the reader “the major’s girl” in front of them both despite the fact that they aren’t together, just obviously in love with each other?

All The Things I Did (Interlude): A Feeling I Want To Get Used To

chapter 1 chapter 2 interlude 1 chapter 3 interlude 2 interlude 3

a/n: ok tooth rotting fluff. john egan is literally holding on by a thread. which also means my brain wants to put him through hell. if anyone is feeling devious and wants to talk about a spook/bucky disagreement please reach out. let me know your thoughts, interlude requests still open!

Cass was used to whispers and shadows. Sought comfort in them even. You’d be surprised what you learn when people think you’re not around. It was how she learned she’d been given the nickname of Spook. How she had learned Colonel Huglin was coughing up blood. It was also how she learned that, apparently, she belonged to Major John Egan. 

She was sorting through her mail at Mary’s desk when her ears prickled with the sounds of whispers coming down the hall. When she heard her name, she paused her sorting momentarily but regained herself. 

“...and then apparently he laid her down on top of the table and kissed her right there!”

“No! Lieutenant Cooper would never be so public.”

“Maybe Major Egan is driving her that crazy.” There was giggling that drifted away as they turned down a separate hallway away from Cass. It was not like her and John were trying to keep their burgeoning relationship a secret. He would bring her flowers every morning and they sat together in the mess hall for almost every meal. But they hadn’t been dancing at the base social club or kissed each other on the airfield for all to see. She was certain John would if the idea crossed his mind. Was certain he would do it right this very second if she asked. But she didn’t like being the topic of gossip. 

“Find everything you were looking for, Lieutenant?” The secretary came from around the corner and sat back at her typewriter.

“Yes, Mary, thank you.” Cass turned to go but stopped short, unable to help herself. “Mary, I do have a question for you. Were Major Egan and I a topic of conversation amongst the girls last night?”

“Lieutenant-” Mary, for her part, was blushing furiously. 

“I’m not asking because I’m upset. Just curious.” 

“I didn’t confirm or deny anything, promise ma’am. But the girls all have such a crush on Major Egan and they’ve noticed you two spending time together. And someone mentioned maybe seeing you two at the pub in town and before we knew it, we were planning your happily ever after.”

“Oh.” Cass’ words were catching in her chest. Her heart hammering at the notion that not only had people noticed the something between her and John but that they were writing their own fairytale of it. “Well, on his good days, I do suppose he has a certain Prince Charming quality to him.” They both giggled. 

“I promise, Lieutenant, it was just girls chatting.” Cass tapped the stack of envelopes on the desk a couple times.

“Thank you for your honesty, Mary. Enjoy the rest of your day, will you?” She slid her own pair of aviators over her eyes as she stepped out into the morning sun. “John, John, John.” Even the sound of his name put a smile on her face. Happily ever after indeed.

----

John was antsy. Gale was watching him with a toothpick between his lips. The rest of the boys were either dancing with a girl, talking about dancing with a girl or huddled together laughing over training stories.

“I don’t understand, Bucky. She said she wasn’t feeling like going out tonight. You shouldn’t be surprised she isn’t here.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be upset about it.” 

“Your pouting is ruining the night for the rest of them.” John scanned the room and they all seemed fine enough. 

“Where’s that girl we were looking at the other day?” Two younger men walked past Bucky and Gale and took a spot at the end of the bar. 

“James told me they call her Spook.” John’s eyes whipped to the side so quick it made him dizzy. “If she shows tonight, I’ve got to have enough of these to ask her to dance.” 

“I’m not sure, Robbie. That nurse I was dancing with said she heard Spook is Major Egan’s girl.” 

“Well, if that was my girl, I’d make sure there were no questions about it.” Gale readied himself to intervene in whatever was about to ensue.

“Alright, gentlemen, let’s get a couple of things straight.” John squared his shoulders and held himself to his full height. His threatening words were never able to make it out of his mouth as he watched the two plebeians in front of him look over his shoulder in both shock and awe.

Cass had decided that no one was going to wonder about John and her after tonight. The entire time he had been giving her all of him. Open and honest about what he wanted and willing to go at whatever pace she dictated. In return, Cass had interpreted their dynamic as him trying to find a crack in her armor. To expose the real her. She had been fighting to regain the upper hand. Barely treading water trying to work through the feels he stirred up. But she didn’t want there to be any ambiguity. For him or for anyone else. John Egan was hers. And she was his.

The whole room had gone silent, even the saxophone squeaking out a wrong note, as she stood in the doorway in a red dress looking like a pin up they would paint on the side of a fortress. It was slightly off her shoulder, John drooling over the sight of her bare collarbones, the fabric hugging every inch down to her hips before flaring out into a skirt. 

“Maybe this was a mistake,” she whispered to herself as her heels carried her over to the bar. She waved away the Coca Cola he went to place in front of her. “Something stronger tonight. A double.” It went down in one go, Cass afraid to turn around and face the crowd again.

“Cassandra Ann Cooper, you are the most phenomenally beautiful, gorgeous, angelic woman I have ever had the honor to lay my eyes on.” John had love in his eyes. That was the only way she knew how to describe it. And, God, if she didn’t think her eyes were showing love right back. 

“Thank you. I’m not used to all these eyes on me.” His eyes flicked down to the empty shot glass on the bar before flickering back to her. 

“We can get out of-” His hand was running from her bicep to her wrist to her hand, ready to whisk her somewhere far, far away if that is what she wanted. She shook her head.

“No. That’s the exact opposite of the reason why I came and wore this dress.” She thought back to the hyperbolic version of her date she had heard this morning. Thought back to Mary saying someone thinks they might have seen them. Cass worked in the shadows but she didn’t have to live in them. “Dance with me?” She grabbed his hand before he could answer, as if he would have ever thought to say no, leading him out onto the floor just as the band was beginning to switch to something slow. 

“Cass, not that I’m complaining, but did I miss something?” One arm wrapped and settled around the small of her back and the other held their interlocked fingers to his chest. 

“Have you noticed people whispering about us?” He thought back to the airmen at the bar.

“Yes.”

“I’m sure it’s my fault for not being as forward or open-”

“Cass-”

“-but I want everyone to know you’re mine.” She felt his heart skip a beat under her hand. “That is, if that’s okay with you.” Words failed him so he chose action. Afraid the word he felt and meant but couldn’t say would slip out.

John held her face between his hands and groaned at the first sweet release of her lips on his. Even with heels on, she pressed onto her tiptoes to get all of him. Cass gripped the lapels of his jacket to pull him closer and closer and closer. She could hear the whistles and the cheers but they were muffled by her heartbeat echoing in her ears. He kept her bottom lip between his teeth when he pulled away, Cass whining and chasing his lips for more. John obliged her with a laugh, a genuine and happy laugh, barely able to oblige her kissing antics around his smile.

“I’m holding onto my last strand of fucking sanity, Cass, but I’m yours. I’m fucking yours.” She smiled wickedly and kissed him again in the hopes of branding his words onto her skin. John lost himself in her easily. Easier than breathing. Easier than flying. Easier than singing the words to his favorite song while he drove down an open road on the perfect summer evening in Wisconsin.

“You’ve got a little bit of lipstick on, Major.” He looked downright sinful with his swollen lips and blown pupils and her red lipstick smudged against his skin. Cass nuzzled her nose against his sweetly, her eyes closing with the warmth of being with him for all to see. “Hey, John?” He kissed her forehead and held himself there.

“Yeah, angel?”

“I’m yours if you’ll have me.” He wanted to say something cool. Be suave and charming and impressive. 

“Never letting you go.” Instead he was truthful. They both just had to get through this damn war first. “Cass, I have to tell you something.”

“Can tell me anything.” She stroked her thumb over his cheek and kissed him again, insatiably high on her feelings for him. Cass knew the word to describe them. But she couldn’t say it. Not when it would devastate her.

“I lov-” His declaration was interrupted by Meatball’s barking as he ran towards them. She dropped to embrace him with a giggle, accepting his kisses and scratching behind his ears. “You’re a horrible wingman, Meatball.” John quickly recovered from his near declaration of his love for her. The word and the feelings that went along with it were simmering in his soul the past few days. He was desperate to tell her. Desperate for her to know the truth behind what she meant to him. John didn’t know how much time they truly had but knew they had to make the most of it. 

“Sorry, you were going to tell me something.” She stood back up and twisted her fingers with his. John brought the back of her hand to his lips as he shook his head. 

“Not important.”

“Everything going on in that beautiful head of yours is important to me.” 

“Don’t let Gale hear you say that,” he mused as he leaned in to kiss her again. Cass looked around and noticed they had been swaying to their own beat as the music had changed around them. “I told him I was jealous that he and Marge were able to create their own world whenever they were together.”

“I think we’ve created our own solar system, John.” One where she was the sun he revolved around. One where he hung the stars in the sky just for her. One where they could build a life together and live forever. 

“And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.” He let the way he kissed her and held her and danced with her express the words he had tried to say. Let the way he carried her back to her billet and brought her flowers the next morning, as he always did, express his promise for tomorrow. Wrote the words on a piece of paper and put her name on the envelope before tucking in his trunk. If anything happened to him, he wanted Cass to have it. Wanted her to know he was hers as long as he had known her. That he had dreamt of an after with her. That as long as he was here, that is what he was fighting for. 

John could only hope the universe deemed him worthy of having it.

[randomfandomlov3]

The One - Songfic

Bucky Barnes x Female reader

Word count- 4,642

Author's Note - this is inspired by the song The One by Terry Clark. I love this song and I just felt like this would be a cute story. I'm not great at editing so it may contain some errors. Thank you for reading <3

Italics = lyrics

Warnings: Country music lyrics, fluff, wedding, talk of a child, the reader is briefly mentioned as liking multiple genders. Let me know if I missed any.

I hear the whispers as I walk by They always start with 'bless her heart' She's still single and that's such an empty life She must not be looking all that hard

I walked through the halls of the tower. Don’t know when my love life became the center of attention around here, but for some reason it was.

Nat who had been talking to me noticed my distraction. “Hey, you have really become a popular topic lately,” She said with a laugh causing me to shrug.

“She must not want to find someone, being single for as long as she has must be lonely.” I heard an agent, I had never met before, whisper to their friends, while staring at me.

They've all got their stories Of why I'm still alone But the only truth that matters is my own

“I think she was hurt by someone and now doesn’t want to love,” one of them gave as a story instead.

“No she is still in the closet and afraid to love a woman,” The third came up with which made me so utterly confused. I have never been shy about my sexuality, it’s a part of me just like everything else. And all of my friends have tried to suggest to me people that they would be interested in. It hits me that these agents don’t know me at all, but they are just looking for something to gossip about.

“Don’t listen to them, I’m sure you have your reasons to be picky,” Nat said watching me stare at them.

I sighed as we made our way over to the couch. I had been on multiple dates, some chosen by me, some by others, including Nat, but none of them were what I was looking for. Most of them were decent people but there just wasn’t the connection I wanted.

“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Nat said waving her hand in front of my face.

I shook my head refocusing on the room around me. “Sorry, Nat, was lost in thought, what were you saying?” I gave her a sheepish smile; it wasn’t uncommon for me to lose focus lately.

She gave me a playful nudge on the arm, as she started speaking. “So I found this really nice guy that I think you will really like but would you please give him a fair shot tonight. I’m not asking you to want to marry him, but maybe just a second date?” That was her biggest thing, I always said that I had a fine time on the dates, some I even praised, but I never went on a second one. I was so focused on her, that I didn’t notice Bucky walk into the room.

“What are you girls talking about?” His voice startled me, and I swear I jumped 3 feet in the air. Bucky chuckled. “For a trained assassin, you have been really jumpy and unfocused lately. What’s up with that?”

My body deflated as I turned to look at him. “Nat was just telling me about a new date, she has set up for me. She’s hoping that this one makes it past the first date. If it doesn't though, I am taking a break from dating because that is why I have been so easily startled, because I have been on so many dates, that I have rarely had a night to relax to myself.” I missed the way his eyes flashed to sadness because of my exhaustion. I’ve never slept great especially after dates because I go through my thoughts and half the time question my own decisions.

The one thing that I hadn’t told anyone yet though is that I wanted someone that I could see the full future with. That was how I have scared off some prospects.

I want fireworks to paint the sky A kiss to burn my lips I wanna feel the touch that pounds my heart Down to my fingertips

After swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, Bucky asked, “Why haven’t you? What are you waiting for?” Nat noticed the way that I won’t look him in the eyes. We never really hung out together, always leading different mission teams and training at different times of the day, so we barely knew each other, and that made Nat curious.

I shrugged. “I don’t really know, but while yes, I know it sounds cliché, I want to feel that spark with someone. I want the fireworks that you hear about in books and movies. I want their touch to make my heartbeat faster and send tingles all the way to my fingers and toes.” I stared at the floor thinking about what if I never found that kind of love.

And twenty years from now It still won't be as good as it will get It might be a lot to ask for But I won't take any less

“I want a life partner, not just someone to date and hang around with. I know I am probably asking for too much, but that is what I want, and I won’t compromise on that.” I stood up to pace, having gotten antsy talking about my love life.

“Good for you, Doll. I am happy that you know what you want out of your relationship.” Bucky said. Neither of us picked up on the use of doll, but Natasha did. I was rather confused though, as to why he even cared because we barely knew each other.

Just because I won't settle Don't mean I won't settle down I don't need a love that I can live with I want the one I can't live without

“Why don’t you just settle for someone and build that life and connection with them. Or do you never plan to settle down?” Nat asked getting back to my dating issues and tearing my gaze away from Bucky.

I sighed, I didn’t expect most people to understand, but being constantly asked about things like that was rather annoying after a while. “I will settle down when I find the right person. I don’t want a love that I can live with. I want the one that I can’t live without, and I have faith that I will find that kind of love one day. But if you both will excuse me, I have to go get ready for another date.”  I slumped my shoulders as I gave them both a soft smile and headed to my bedroom.

Nat never had a terrible taste in options for me, but they all seemed much more interested that I know The Black Widow, than any thing about me. Some were even only doing this to please her, in hopes that maybe she would date them. The others who did actually care about me, were really deterred when I asked what their life plans would be, and I expressed my feelings. So as I put on one of my nice dresses and did my hair and make-up, I couldn’t help but have a bad feeling about this.

All my dates were set up at the same restaurant to make it easy to remember where I was going or something like that, but I think the wait staff are starting to either be weirded out or feel pity for me. I was seated with the reservation. I didn’t even have to place my drink order, my waitress knew it very well by now. She had served me on many different dates. I wanted to wait to order until he got there but it was already ten minutes passed the time that was agreed on. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, but I was running on little sleep and I don’t know why but it felt like he on purposely was not respecting my time.

I put in an order for an appetizer figuring that would be an acceptable thing to order before hand. It came out and he still wasn’t here. I checked my phone to see if maybe he was running late, or Nat knew something. I had no messages and I realized that it was now 30 minutes after when we were supposed to meet.

“Is there anything else I can get for you, while you wait?” She was the sweetest waitress I had ever met. I had actually confided in her a few times after my dates had left.

“Umm, not yet, but if he’s not here in 15 minutes I am just going to order, why waste a trip to a restaurant right.” I laughed to ease some of the tension.

He never did show up. I had a wonderful dinner by myself, and my waitress was the loveliest person I had ever met. She told me about her working this job to save up to move into an apartment with her partner. Since Tony was also in on trying to set me up on dates, and in fact often paid for my meals, I gave her some extra money to put towards it.

Momma's always getting on me She says I don't give anyone a chance But if I can't feel the music when somebody holds me How am I supposed to dance?

My mom was coming by the tower today, to see how I’ve been. Somehow, we ended up on the topic of my love life. She was never pleased with my answers about things. We were walking through the halls toward the common room where anybody not on a mission right now would gather.

“From what Natasha has told me, you're not even giving anybody a chance to be the one.” I loved my mom truly, but my father was not a good man, and I don’t want to go through what she did. I sometimes wondered if my mom settled for my father, because she felt like she was running out of time, or maybe just patience with the whole dating scene. Not that I blamed her it could be exhausting.

We got to the common room, and it was mostly empty. “I just don’t want to settle for someone who isn’t going to last. If I can’t hear their beat, how am I supposed to follow along with their dance? I know I’m not meant for everybody, but I am meant for somebody.” I said as Natasha walks into the room.

“Hey, it’s lovely to see you again.” Nat gave my mom a big hug. “How have you been?”

My mother laughed at the assassin’s enthusiasm. “It is wonderful to see you again too dear. I have been well.” She gave me a side glance. “Been trying to get this one to settle down.” I looked between the two of them uncomfortably, but neither of them noticed.

“Actually, that is what I was coming to find her for. I found this wonderful guy, that I think he fits what you are looking for perfectly. And I promise he won’t stand you up. The date will be tomorrow, but he doesn’t use a cell phone much, so I will be the main point of contact between the two of you.” She got very excited that she might have just solved my dating trouble. Little did I know she had given the same speech to my date, as he also had high expectations of love.

“Ooh, you will have to tell me all about it. remember to be a lady and to actually give the guy a chance.” My mom ranted on in a long speech about love.

There might be a few more lonely nights But I'm not keeping score It's worth the wait for what I'm waiting for

As I went to bed that night, I stared at the ceiling wondering how many more lonely nights it would take. Not that I was counting, they were worth what I hope to find one day. Sometimes the loneliness got to me though. Laying there was not going to be productive so I figured maybe I would get some training in, maybe that would relax me enough.

I got down to the training room and decided what I was going to start with, after I stretched some. What I didn’t realize was that was Bucky’s usual training time. I looked up from my spot on the floor and once again startled upon seeing the sneaky man.

“You really should be sleeping with how jumpy you’ve been.” Bucky offered with a smile. His smile made my heart flutter, and I wondered what was going on.

“Yeah, well I can’t, because I keep thinking about the next date Nat has set me up on, and that my mom is even starting to get impatient with my dating habits.” I shrugged and I thought I caught a glimpse of hurt in Bucky’s eyes, but I must have been mistaken.

He took the mat beside me. “That must be tough. But I might be joining the club soon, Steve told me that I should start dating again since I was quite the ladies man, back in the 40’s. so he set me up on my first date and I’ll be honest I am kind of scared, that I am going to screw this up.” His words felt like a punch to the gut, why was I reacting like this. He kept his eyes on the mat in front of him.

“I can’t offer too much advice, but I will say, know what you want. And stick to it, it’s not easy but settling for someone who is not what you truly want is going to be detrimental to both of you.” I offered as I got up to start my workout.

Most of our training went by in silence with the occasional word. I fell asleep almost instantly when I got back to my room.

Fireworks to paint the sky A kiss to burn my lips I wanna feel the flesh that pounds my heart Down to my fingertips

I got on my favourite dress because I had a unique feeling of hope before this date. I went down to the common room to meet up with Nat, she said she was going to drop me off this time because she had errands to run.

“Wow, you look really beautiful, I’ve never seen you wear that dress before.” She said as she had me spin for her.

“This has always been my favourite dress, but I had never worn it on a date, before this one. I don’t know something in me said to wear it.” I played with the skirt of the dress. Nat smiled at me but before she could comment again Steve walked into the room.

“You look beautiful, will this be the date that sticks.” Steve joked giving me a hug.

“Thank you, but what are you doing here Steve?” I playfully elbowed him.

He laughed. “I’m waiting for Buck. He has a date tonight.” Steve turned to face where Bucky should be coming from.

My smile dropped. “Oh that’s tonight. Well, wish him luck for me. Nat, I think we should get going.” Staring at my shoes I didn’t notice Bucky walk up, until I heard his breath catch.

“Tell him yourself.” Steve pushed gently. I looked up and saw Bucky staring at me with his mouth wide open. “Buck, your gonna catch flies, you might want to close your mouth.” Steve joked nudging Bucky out of his trance.

“Wow, Doll, you look stunning. Your date is really lucky.” He tried to hide the blush on his cheeks by staring at his shoes.

I had never seen Bucky dressed up before, he looked perfect. Maybe I should blow off my date tonight. “Thanks, you look really handsome. Good luck on your date.” I whispered before Nat started to pull me away. She was dragging me all the way to the car. “Nat, what if I just don’t go on the date?” She laughed obviously having expected that question.

“I really think that you will enjoy this date.” She started to drive me to the restaurant.

I watched the cars out the window and thought about how lucky Bucky’s date would be. We get out at the restaurant. “Why are you getting out Nat?”

She giggled as she continued to walk forward. I followed her over to where Steve was standing with Bucky. “Really is Bucky’s date here too? And what is Steve doing here?” Steve and Nat were killing themselves laughing at this point.

“We are grabbing some food to go, before we go on our mission, and you two are going on your date.” Nat said as Steve talked to the hostess. We didn’t put two and two together until the hostess asked us both to follow her.

The blush that covered my face, made my waitress smile, even though I tried to hide it. We both placed our orders, knowing what we liked from here, and she told us she would be back shortly.

“So, um, how have you been?” I asked not looking up to meet his eyes. His hands fidgeted on the table.

“I’ve been alright.” Bucky decided to take a risk. “Better now that you're my date.” My eyes widened as I looked up at him completely shocked. “Look, Doll, I know neither of us expected this, but why don’t you treat this like any other date that you have been through in the past months. We don’t know each other very well, so if there’s nothing there romantically, we could just call this a get to know each other.” I giggled as he tried to figure out how to word what he was saying.

“Okay, but I want you to be honest about how things feel for you too, because I don’t want you to try to placate me.” I gave him a serious look, to which he nodded.

“You have my word, Doll.” He gave me the biggest smile I had ever seen from him. “But I already know my feelings.” Bucky whispered just quiet enough that I couldn’t hear him.

I hummed. “Normally I would ask my dates questions about what they do for work, or about their family, but well, we work together, and I don’t want to bring up anything uncomfortable.” The awkward laugh that left my mouth made the situation feel worse. I was fidgeting with my utensils, until Bucky put his hand on top of mine. His touch covered me in goosebumps. It felt so warm and safe.

“Doll, relax it’s alright. My ma was a wonderful woman, and I think that she would have loved you. My sister, Rebecca, she definitely would have teased us, but it would have been in a loving way. Steve has always been like a brother to me, and well you know him. I might not have all my memories back, but I have pieces. I promise that I will tell you if I am uncomfortable with a question, doll.” The look in Bucky’s eyes was very melancholic, but in a happy and peaceful way. I felt like I could stare into his eyes for the rest of my life and never get bored, and always feel at home.

Our waitress came back with our food and a big smile on her face. Of all the dates she had seen me on, none of them made me smile the way that this man was. We both thanked her for bringing us our food, which was another refreshing change with Bucky. Not a lot of the other men thanked the waitress, and that was one of many red flags I saw for them, so it’s not surprising.

“Now Doll, can I ask you a question?” Bucky’s hand found mine again, and he stroked the back of my knuckles. I nodded with a soft smile. “Have you felt that spark that you wanted to feel?” My breath caught as he repeated my words back to me.

“Yeah, yea, I think I did. I do every time that you touch me. What about you do I fit within what you are looking for?” I asked hopeful that maybe, I had finally found my person. Subconsciously, I had started to rub his hand that was still holding mine, in anticipation. I could feel his stare burning into my face, hoping I would look up so he could tell me eye to eye, but when I didn’t look up he brought his gloved hand up to tilt my chin up.

“Yes, Doll, you fit what I was looking for down to a T. In fact, I tried to get Steve to let me blow off my date, to hang out with you. You were exactly what I was looking for.” The blush matched his smile as uncharacteristic, but to me, they were both absolutely beautiful.

I giggled as I thought about the drive over with Nat. “I tried to get Nat to let me out of mine to be with you. It’s funny that they knew before we did.” I leaned into his gloved hand which had worked it’s way to my cheek.

And twenty years from now It still won't be as good as it will get It might be a lot to ask for But I won't take any less

“Are you ready to see it?” Nat asked, holding up a mirror when I nodded, so I could see the back of my hair. It was so special to be surrounded by my girls today.

“Okay, time to get you dressed.” Wanda said with a flourish of the garment bag, which held the most precious item in that room. The smile on my face said it all, today was going to be one of the best days of my life. I put the beautiful white dress on, and the girls do it up.

“You look beautiful. I am so glad that I got to be part of this journey with you.” I looked over at one of my bridesmaids who just so happened to have been my waitress.

“I am glad that you could be a part of it too because you were always so sweet to me during those terrible dates.” I laughed just full of joy, excited to be spending my life with my person. The girls get into their dresses too and then there is a knock on the door. Wanda goes to check who it is, and then lets my mother in.

“Darling, you look so beautiful. I am so glad you found someone so good.” My mother tried to fight the tears from her baby growing up and just how beautiful I looked.

“I am happy too. Even like twenty years from now, I can still see us happy, and falling more in love.” I thought about the life that I would build with Bucky and my smile got even wider. I was so lost in thought I didn’t look at the time.

“Okay let’s save that for your vows.” Nat laughed knowing that we needed to get going. I gave her a big smile and hug, before we headed down to the waiting area we had set up.

Nat squeezed my hand one more time before handing me my flowers. She walked out with the elegance that she always seemed to exude. I took a deep breath knowing that it was now my turn to walk down the isle. The rest of my life starts today. I am glad I didn’t settle for anyone less than the handsome man trying to hold back his tears at the alter.

Just because I won't settle Don't mean I won't settle down I don't need a love that I can live with I want the one I can't live without

“Please read your vows to each other.” Our officiant said signalling me to go first. I looked into Bucky’s eyes and took a deep breath.

“First to all the people who were wondering when I would settle and settle down, I am glad I didn’t because I found the person, I had been looking for all my life. Bucky, you are everything to me. I still have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure this is real. You came into my life and just changed everything, nothing looks the same without you, everything is dull and bland. You bring light into my darkness, and you give me reasons to keep doing what we do. I promise I will love you through all the good and bad that this world throws at us, as long as you promise to stay, I honestly don’t know what I would do without you. I will love you forever and for always.” My voice shook at the end as the tears of love welled in my eyes. The look Bucky was giving me made me fall even harder in love.

With a deep breath Bucky pulled out his vows. “Doll, I fell in love with your idea of love, and the idea of sharing it with you long before we knew much about each other. I craved to be loved in the way that you love me, and to be touched with the gentle hands that you touch me with. For 70 years all I experienced was pain, but getting to stand here with you, makes it feel like it was somehow worth it. You know I am not great with words, but I hope that I can convey at least half of the love that I feel for you. I don’t think there is anything in this world that could make me stop loving you. I don’t think I would be able to survive this life without you by my side through it all. I promise that I will work to be better for you, and that I will love you through anything that may come up.” We exchanged our rings. Both of our eyes reflected our deepest love for each other.

“You may now kiss the bride,” the officiant said causing Bucky to put his hands on my cheeks and kiss me so passionately. We pulled away when we needed air.

“I love you Mr. Barnes.” I said keeping my arms wrapped around his neck.

“And I love you Mrs. Barnes.” Bucky leaned in to steal another kiss.

And just because I won't settle Don't mean I won't settle down I don't need a love that I can live with I want the one I can't live without Oh, I can't live without.

“You did amazing, Doll.” Bucky said rubbing my sweat-soaked forehead. Our baby had been whisked off to have the typical tests run.

“I couldn’t have done it without you.” I was exhausted but thankful that Bucky was by my side through all of labour and delivery.

“You technically, couldn’t have made her without me either, Doll.” Bucky joked trying to ease some of my lasting discomfort.

With the strength I had left I smacked his arm. “You know what I meant.” I tried to hide the smile that covered my face. I leaned my head onto him.

“Yeah, I know what you meant, and I promise I will be there whenever you need or even just want me to be.” His left arm continued to rub my overheated skin to cool it. “I can’t believe, we have a daughter now. She is absolutely beautiful just like her mama.”

I smiled into his hold. People told me to settle and asked if I ever planned on actually settling down, I hope they all get to see this life of mine and understand that everything worked the way it was supposed to. I have an amazing husband who is the love of my life and now we have a beautiful baby girl. This life has turned out better than I could have ever hoped. And I hope I never have to live without it.

[pacifymebby]

t r o u b l e / chapter sixteen

Sonya

I followed Bonnie away from the camp quietly, keeping my head down to hide my selfconcious blush. I wondered how many of his family knew who I was, beyond my being Tommys little sister. I wondered what they thought of me, whether they were laughing at me now. The prima ballerina, spoilt rotten all her life, reduced to this, held captive by her brother, having to go back to the roots she'd tried so desperately to escape, hiding in a vardo for a little peace and quiet.

I didn't want anyone to see my red eyes, the tear stains on my cheeks or the sorry look I couldn't wipe off my face. I knew what they'd think if they saw me. They'd think I was getting everything I deserved, that it served me right for thinking I was better than them, for thinking I could social climb above my station, join the royal ballet instead of learning how to skin a rabbit.

But as we walked further away from the little settlement I began to relax a little knowing there were no longer prying eyes trained on my every move.

I slowed down, let my arms fall down to my sides so that the long grass could brush my hands and tickle my arms. I didn't noticed Bonnie turning to check on me every now and then because I had my head to the sky and the trees above us. There were clouds in the sky but it wasn't gloomy, a muted afternoon with just enough of a breeze to shiver the trees, the pale sun shimmering through the gentle sway of the branches.

There were little birds taking turns to fly back and forth between a hedgerow and the trees and I watched them curiously.

"They're wrens," said Bonnie turning around to face me with his hands in his pockets, nodding to the tree when I looked at him a little surprised. He hadn't spoken to me since we'd left the camp and I'd grown used to the thick quiet between us. "Well actually," he said coming to stand by my side, stooping a little so that his gaze lined up with mine as he squinted up at the tree which had caught my eye. It wasn't really a tree see, it was a climber kind of ivy which had grown so tall against the side of the old barn, grown so thick and green that it looked like a tree until you really concentrated. "Those are wrens," he said pointing to the dry stone wall which was crumbling by the barn doors, "those," he said returning his attention to the climber, "will be house sparrows... Noisy bastards," he grinned.

"They always sing like this?" I asked a little stunned, it was a cacophony really, it sounded less like a song and more like laughter and when Bonnie saw my wide eyes he joined them with a childish chuckle of his own.

"More like chattering really, me mam always used to say House Sparrows are gossips, never trust em with a secret..." he said beginning to walk backwards down the path, still smiling at me.

"Who, who can you trust with a secret?" I asked my cheeks prickling with embarrassment because it felt like a stupid question. The kind a little girl would ask, not the kind I should ask. Bonnie just shrugged his shoulders and nodded for me to follow him.

"I don't know," he smirked, his fingers dancing over the collar of his shirt, resting over a st christopher which hung around his neck, "god a s'pose..." he said only serious for a second before he cracked a grin and shot you a wink, "C'mon lass i fancy a swim.."

"What if they're looking for me, that's the first place Tommy will look for me..." i said a twist of discomfort in my stomach.

"Then he'll have already looked there won't he," he said still smiling as he reached for sleeve and gently tugged me along, "the water might do you good to eh, wash away that frown," he said with a teasing glint in his eyes which left me smiling shyly at my feet, letting him lead me along the path which followed the perimeter of the manor grounds and would apparently, eventually lead us back to the lake.

It was midafternoon when we reached the wilding grass at the edge of the estate. The sun was warm enough that I didn't feel the cold even when I slipped out of my pale pink ballet sweater and placed it down on the roots of a particularly old and gnarled tree.

I watched Bonnie shrug his tshirt over his head, his lean torso rippling, showing only for a second the strength he concealed in his lithe frame. I didn't realise I was starring until I felt his eyes on me. He was starring too but it didn't stop the blush staining my cheeks crimson.

"Whatre you starrin at now lass, no house sparrows nesting here..." he grinned, his voice quieter, a knowing, smirking tone to it which got under my skin and left my mouth opening and closing, flustered, desperate to think of something clever to say. All I could do however was to blurt out his hypocrisy, my shrill tone only furthering my humiliation.

"You're starring at me too!"

"Oh," he chuckled, "so it is me you're lookin at, I thought for a second maybe Ryan Gosling was stood behind me..." he said his fingers dancing over his belt buckle as he shimmied out of his black jeans and left them in a heap beside his top.

I didn't know what to say then, I could only laugh nervously as I undid the tie on my little wrap skirt and let the flimsy material fall with a flutter to the grass.

Bonnie was still watching me, his eyes following the silky material as it shimmered and drifted ethereal to my feet, but when I hesitated with the waistband of my tights he turned away sharply, diving into the lake without another word. The water splashed me as it split for him and swallowed him whole, the cool droplets stunning me and snapping me out of my own daze.

It took him a moment to surface, an erruption of bubbles preceding the ripples of his reappearance.

"Hurry up lass the waters lovely," he called holding his hand to his eyes to shield them from the sun. He was looking straight at me but I wasn't really sure how much of me he could see with the sun directly behind me, gleaming bright. I could only hope that I was, for the most part in shadow. That he wouldn't be able to see the bruises on my legs from taking one too many tumbles at rehearsals. That he wouldn't be able to see the wretched state of me feet after weeks of endless point exercises.

I'd lost both nails on my big toes and my left foot was bruised all along the arch. Usually people who saw them were horrified and I tried my best to keep my injuries hidden at all costs. It ruined the "fae" like enchantment I was supposed to cast on all who saw me with my delicate grace. It reminded them the sacrifices that were made for perfection.

So as I stood there on the edge of the lake I felt hesitant again. I paused, arms wrapping around my waist protectively. My ribs were scattered with bruises too and I had an old greeny grey ink spill of a bruise spread across my shoulder too.

Now that I was stood before him in only my underwear I was concious he might see me. Might be disgusted at the sight of me...

"Close your eyes Mr Gold, my brother will kill you if he catches you looking at me..." I said trying to laugh, trying to pretend I was only joking. Scared he wouldn't take me seriously.

"Aye alright alright," he grinned covering his eyes with his hands and beginning to count down from ten, "but if you ain't in this water when I hit 0 I'm gonna get out an push ye..."

And when I hesitated he carried on counting, listening for my movement on the bank, his countdown getting quicker when still I didn't move.

"Six... Five..."

"Wait... Is it cold?"

"Four Three, I ain't kiddin on with ye Sonya!"

I felt a flurry of nerves errupt inside of me, escaping as a laugh as I squeezed my eyes shut, hands over my eyes, feeling suddenly as a little girl again, fearful of my big brothers threatening to "get me."

"Two..." he said, his cheeky smile flexing, dimple popping in his cheek.

And just as he hit one and sprang to snatch at my ankles, had I jumped in, flying over his head far less gracefully than I'd have liked, landing with a splash behind him. Water sprayed through the air and the sound ricocheted off the trees, the squeal which had escaped me when I'd jumped disturbing the birds in the trees sending them flying and chattering, cawcawing through the once peaceful afternoon.

I resurfaced to Bonnie laughing, rubbing lake water from his eyes, his skin beaded with the droplets from my splash.

"That was one hell of a jump lass," he grinned, "whats the matter did ye get yourself all in a panic eh?"

"It was your fault," I giggled rubbing the water from my own eyes, pushing my blonde fringe from out of my eyes, "you an all your threats!"

"So I scared you did I?" he grinned swimming closer to me, "thought I was gonna snatch ye up did ye?" he was smiling one of those mischievous teenage kind of smiles, the ones lads never really grow out of, ones they still wear when theyre 50 and thinking up old tricks they can play on their kids and their wife... The kind of smile which promises trouble.

"Stay back Bonnie Gold... Don't you dare..."

"What?" he asked, cheeky grin, playing at innocence with a little frown, "what I'm not gonna do anything?"

"I know what you're thinkin, don't you dare..." I said kicking my legs to push myself back through the water away from him, eyes locked with his all the while. I couldn't tear my gaze from his, even if I'd wanted to I couldn't. I couldn't wipe the smile off my lips either.

"Nah," he said shaking his head, his smile softening then, "nah don't worry lass I ain't gonna do anything I promise..." he said pushing his wet curls from out of his eyes, averting his gaze down to the water then over his shoulder to the bank where our clothes remained. "Honestly Sonya, I ain't gonna do anythin," he said again, his voice lower and more serious then so that as I eyea him suspiciously studying him carefully, i could discern that he was in fact telling me the truth. "Here you swim for a bit," he said kicking and pushing himself back to the side of the lake where he leant on the grassy verge, head resting in his arms before he tensed himself and pushing himself out.

I watched the water fall from him, trickling fast like a river flowing down his back to reveal the musles in his arms and shoulders. I was still starring when he lay back on the grass, propping himself up on his elbows. Watching me quietly.

"Wait..." I frowned, "you're the one who said you wanted to swim," I said confusion flooding my crinkled features. His eyes flickered over me, took in the sight of me starring at him like that, and when his lips twitched with a smirk he shrugged his shoulders in response.

"I guess I changed my mind," he said leaning back against the tree trunk and closing his eyes.

"Aren't you supposed to be my bodyguard... How are you gonna keep me safe napping under a tree like frodo fuckin baggins?" I asked with a cheeky grin, one which Bonnie didn't even open his eyes to see.

"Am not sleepin lass, I'm listenin... Go on enjoy your swim," he said gesturing vaguely with his hand in the direction of me and the water I was floating in.

So I did as he said, glancing back at him every now and then to see what he was doing. Trying to work out what he meant by "listening." Whatever he meant he didn't keep it up for very long because the next time I looked back he was sitting on the bank with his jeans rolled up to his knees, his shins in the water, legs kicking idly, leaning on one hand in the grass behind his back, the other holding a handful of berries he was eating slowly.

When I swam over to see what he was eating he seemed ever so tranquil, his shirtless chest rising and falling slowly, his eyes dark but warm and calm as he looked down at me.

"Want a blackberry?" he asked opening his palm.

"Um.."

"They're good ones I promise, just about ripe not bitter like some of em are if you get em too early..."

"Thank you," I said leaning on the bank, pinching one between my finger and thumb carefully, hesitating to pop it into my mouth.

It was just a blackberry. I frowned as I repeated the thought a few more times, growing concious of Bonnies eyes on me, knowing he'd be waiting for me to try it. Knowing it didn't usually take people so long to make such a trivial decision.

He was right, it was a good berry, sweet and juicy, when it burst between my teeth the tang was tart on my tongue and I smiled a blackberry juice smile up at him.

"That was actually really good," I said, "really good."

"Aye well Ive got an eye for tellin the ripe ones I guess," he said offering me another, frowning when I shook my head. "Can't be that good then can it lass..." he said the wounded look only a joke which didn't linger in his eyes long before it was replaced with a smile.

I licked my lips and ran my tongue over my teeth behind my closed mouth, watching him for a second, wondering if he was waiting for me to come up with an excuse. When he stopped looking down at me and started looking up at the sky instead I changed my mind and returned to the water to swim around the lake once more.

I swam until I felt tired, that hungry kind of lethargy seeping into my muscles from somewhere behind my eyes. When I returned to the bank Bonnie had gone and I felt my stomach drop, a little fear prickling my skin as I pushed myself out of the water quietly.

The afternoon had tired too and the sunlight through the trees was a dappled sunset shade of orange. Still just about warm but not really warm enough. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself, looking for my clothes but they were gone too.

I stood there for a second, confused before I got scared.

I didn't get scared until I heard a twig snap in the long grass. Until I heard movement I couldn't decipher.

I tried to reason with my anxiety, tried to tell myself it was most likely just Bonnie, but something in my heart said otherwise. Something told me I needed to be careful. That I ought to lower myself quietly to the ground and attempt to remain concealed from view.

My ears burnt as I strained to hear through the ambient sound, tried to listen past the breeze shivering the leaves to hear if I could hear anymore signs of movement. There was a shuffling sound, feet crunching dry grass. I caught my breath, bit down on the tip of my tongue to focus myself, it was the same same technique i used in school, create a sensation to draw my attention to to distract myself from the stressors I was trying to ignore.

I reached the gnarled hornbeam and backed up against the bark, pressing my body between the protruding roots, shutting my eyes fearfully, trying to do as Bonnie had done earlier and "listen."

But when the footsteps stopped I recognised the voice which accompanied them and when I opened my eyes it was with a wince of self conciousness that I looked up at Bonnie who was crouching down in front of me with a little frown pinching his brow.

"Are y' alright lass you look a bit pale..." he said touching the back of his hand to my forehead, smirking when I blinked back at him speechless. "You cold or somet you've got the shivers..." he said standing up and stretching one arm up above his head. For a second I was confused about what he was doing, how he tilted his head up, bent his back over just slightly. But then he snatched up above him and pulled his polo shirt down, handing it to me. When I looked up I realised he'd hung all of our clothes up in the branches, they must have gotten wet when I'd splashed.

"Where were you? I got out the lake and you weren't here..."

"Didn't go anywhere," he shrugged, "was only behind this tree lass, built us a fire so y'wouldnt catch cold when you got out..."

"Oh..." I said with a nervous laugh, trying to hide my relief. Not wanting him to realise how scared Id been.

"You really thought I'd just left yas out here alone?" he frowned then, his knitted brow caught between amusement and dissapointment so that I felt guilty when I shook my head and tried to convince us both that no, I hadn't really thought that at all.

"I don't know I thought something might have happened to you... You weren't here.."

"Aye well, nothin happened to me so get that worried look off your face eh miss," he said his cheeky smile returning as he disappeared behind the tree calling out to me a moment later when I didn't follow. "C'mon lass you'll be warmer by the fire, the Opera house won't want you back if you've got a rotten cold..."

"The Opera house won't want me back now anyway..." I said with a sad smirk as I sat down in the grass playing nervously with my fingers. I could feel Bonnie's eyes on me and I tugged the hem of his polo top down over my thighs gathering the excess material in my lap to hide my underwear. Going for a swim had felt like a good idea at the time but now I was sitting so close to him with only his borrowed shirt to keep my modesty in tact I was beginning to feel a little selfconcious again.

"Tommy said he was gonna sort that," he said gently as if he knew I wouldn't believe him either.

"Tommy forgets there are some people he doesn't own..." I said chewing my cheek, "he thinks just cause he's blackmailed a few politicans and oligarchs he's going to be able to do the same to the director? It ain't happening trust me,"

"Aren't you supposed to be the most promising starlet in Europe?" he asked leaning back against the Hornbeam trunk with both hands behind his head, smiling cheeky and pleased with himself when I blushed and shook my head. He was quoting the last article published about me, letting me know just how much he knew about me. It piqued my defenses, got just enough under my skin that I felt my jaw tense, a stinging feeling in my mouth as my body threatened me with more tears.

This time I was determined to hold them back, determined he wasn't going to watch me fall apart over something that had started as a teasing joke about staying warm.

"I was," I said curtly, surprising myself with the harshness of my tone, "last week... Things have a way of changing too quickly for me to catch up with..." i trailed off, a lumo in my throat. My heart beginning to race as my emotions got the better of me and I began to grow stiff with upset.

"Nah," he shook his head, "sorry lass I don't believe y" he obviously didn't realise the delicste line he was treading, obviously didn't realise that he was pushing all of my buttons and none of them good.

"Doesn't really matter if you do or not does it," I shrugged, "you're not the ballet director... You're just a bodyguard."

I stood up, in a hurry to take his tshirt off and retrieve my own things from the higher branches of the tree. I must have looked ridiculous, I felt humiliatingly so as I stretched my arm out above my head and did a little jump to snatch at my skirt.

Bonnie stood too, his own face the picture of confusion as he came up beside me and took my sweater down from the tree.

"Whatre you doin lass these are still soaked..."

"I'm going to my room," I said sharply, my cold streak shocking him, making him flinch away slightly. He almost looked wounded himself.

"Aye but you don't wanna be putting y'wet clothes back on you'll make y'self ill!"

"Thats an old wives tale Bonnie," I sighed impatiently, "even you should know that..." I said snatched my tights from his hand, scrunching them up in my fist and storming away.

I was hoping the door to the passage would be open because if it wasn't Tommys estste was very big and I was very lost. I could hear Bonnie scrambling behind me, throwing water on the fire, pulling his top over his head as he jogged to catch up with me. I knew that if the door was locked I'd have no choice but to turn back to him.

"Sonya," he called after me, "whats the matter, whatre you doin?"

"I told you already Bonnie, I'm going to my room... Thanks for trying to help but it didn't work... I don't want to see anyone right now..." I carried on skirting around the real reason even when he was diligently shadowing me through the passage which lead back to the manor. Even when I'd tried to close the door on him and he'd stopped it with his foot.

"Sorry lass, I might be "just a bodyguard," but I'd like to do a half decent job if y'dont mind... Don't really want to find out what happens if I fuck it up y'know..." He'd said still with that cheeky smile, one which had bought me so much confort earlier but was completely infuriating now... One which was naive and bissfully unaware that when we got back to the house we would both see how Tommy was taking exactly that...

Someone fucking up.

[what-if-nct]

hihihi today's reminder is ok let's talk friends because this is my first time in a few years watching it all the way through and I'm halfway through season four and i have Thoughts

Monica reminds me a bit of me where she just is so clear about what she wants in a relationship, like I've always been called crazy for dating to marry instead of "enjoying my 20s" but like i am enjoying it with someone I'll enjoy the rest of my life with too, and i soooo see that in Monica and it makes me feel better. which is funny because i never resonated with her like that before, but at the point I'm at right now in life, i see so much of myself in how much she holds these very few people dear, how she values her community and her stability and is always the one making sure the community has a place and a reason to gather

i love love love good character growth so Rachel, chandler and Joey are obviously my babies. Rachel is annoying about ross but we'll forgive that for how hard she worked to go from spoiled daughter to waitress to fashion icon we love her here she deserves the best. Phoebe also obviously my own child, i bore her and raised her and watch all her performances while beaming with pride Ross… David schwimmer saves him a lot let's just say that. when I'm not really watching as much as listening to the show while i play candy crush, he's unbearable, but he's funny when you watch him. almost charming sometimes

ok relationships: Monica and Chandler remain untouched. i love the idea of Joey and Phoebe, and there's a fair bit of hinting towards it and it's a shame they never explored it but i just love Mike so much. Joey and Rachel though, yes, a million times yes. they could've been mondler part 2, they could've had it all. they truly wasted that pairing by using it just to make Ross jealous. and Ross... well. does he deserve love, really? no he doesn't why the fuck did they spend so long building Rachel up as someone so smart and confident and self made and comfortable in her own skin just to waste her on a man that will control her every breathing second and somehow make himself the victim for her daring to have her own life and her own feelings

yeah i don't like Ross lmao. i also like the idea of Rachel ending up with Mark (… the one who got her her job not the nct rapper) just as a fuck you to Ross and because he seemed super sweet and actually genuinely rooted for her based on nothing but kindness

Hii, Firstly I commend you so much for sticking to your own standards and values, I respect that so much you know what you want and you didn't settle for less and you're getting exactly what you wanted. I love that so much. And Monica was very driven and sure of herself and I have a soft spot for her of course from her childhood as a fat kid like so many of her flashbacks really struck home for me. And I won't get into the way 90s\00s shows showcased fat people but I will say The Gilmore girls is the only show albeit not perfect who did a pretty good job in how they presented sookie who i love. But also her being the left behind child who was always in Ross's shadow and didn't get the love and care she deserved from her parents. Like I love Monica and I'm glad she got her happy ending. Rachel dropping her past life, running off from her wedding and starting all over from scratch alone foreshadowed her growth, obviously not the best judge of character with men especially when it comes to Ross but we can look past that. But I loved her with Joey so much. Joey is just a joy, a delight, he was like 25 when I was just a one year old but he is my baby and i love him. I totally forgot about Mike oh I loved him with Phoebe. Oh I would have loved to see what was going on with Dan and Serena and Blair which If you've seen gossip girl it was confusing as hell right. But like that with Joey and Phoebe and Rachel. Like Joey explores things with Phoebe but ultimately ends up with Rachel and Phoebe with Mike. But like all three are like still super chill with each other. And Ross, I have never and will never like that man. David Swimmer is a delight but Ross is the worst. Ted Mosby from how I met your mother was birthed from Ross Geller. I will not get into Ted but iykyk. But yeah Fuck Ross.

[the-cat-chat]

September 23, 2023

Friday the 13th (1980)

A group of camp counselors trying to reopen a summer camp called Crystal Lake, which has a grim past, are stalked by a mysterious killer.

JayBell: Okay I have some things to say about this movie. I want to start by saying the music is pretty epic. But here's the thing--the music is almost too intense for the actual events shown on camera. The music deserves a better movie.

The movie follows a group of young people, but honestly, their characters are without distinct personalities and they all blend together in my mind. The only people that stand out are Alice, simply because she's the survivor, and Ned because he's insufferably annoying. Side note, Ned disappears and gets killed offscreen (good riddance) but then the rest of them don't even wonder where he is for hours and hours?

Now let's discuss Alice and the final fight with mommy dearest. First off, the bad guy (spoilers!) just turns out to be a little old lady. And not even a superpowered, superstrong one either (like seriously how'd she stab through a bed like that with her spindly arms?). Just a normal, crazy lady (albeit possessed or in communication with Jason). So a young, fit woman versus an old lady shouldn't be that difficult of a fight. The final fight I think is almost stupid. Alice manages to knock out old lady and instead of tying her up or anything, she just runs away, and the old lady just gets up and finds her again. This happens more than once, and you'd think that Alice would change her approach, but no. Also, it appears that Alice has the chance to drive away in a car at one point, but because she sees a dead body in the car, she runs away. Girl, just push the dead body over and drive the dang car!!

Anyways, you can see this movie makes me frustrated. With that said, I'm glad we watched it simply because you've got to watch the "classics" at least once to say you did.

Rating: 4.5/10 cats 🐈

Anzie: I don’t know what possessed me (hehe) to wanna watch this for our kickoff spooky season movie, but the second I thought it I was like yesss!

Never seen it? Check.✔️

Classic slasher movie? Check. ✔️

Potential 80s Cringey Radness?

Checkcheckcheck.✔️

Ummmm, but yeahhh. I reallly don’t know how to feel. Like it was SOMETHING. But what exactly? Pls nobody murder me plllsss. 👹 First and foremost, I know it’s a scwwaaary summer camp in the woods- this guy- this guy!?!? I did the math- all the little gossips are like “he sank $25,000 into the camp,” ummmm so why does it feel you could get tetanus just thinking about the camp. Bc that’s a whole lotta cheese today and whatever his name that owns it bc I legit forget- all that comes to mind is Willy?? Was too busy with his serial killer vibes and mustache to not literally set up the perfect scene for horrific events.

Anyyyway I was so mad the whooooole movie like “what are these idiots thinking?” They’re all like having a chill good time like they wouldn’t get the heebie jeebies being there- then all the friends suddenly drop like fly, and it’s no big dealio Right? Until it’s a real big dealio. And I was irritated and I know this can’t be helped at all bc mostly I’m kinda peeved it’s the 80s. Bc it feels like it makes them dumber. No one’s checking the phone like let’s try calling for help. Or drive these idling car out of here. Or here’s one - I’m no runner- But I’d be running like a gazelle away from Granny. (We’ll revisit her). Even if it was 10 MILES. And theeeeeennnn to get in a boat. Knowing the kid who has *spoiler 40 years later* drowned in that lake you put said boat into. And yah know what?? Fall asleep. Sounds good.

The movie wasn’t scary at all how I imagined it was going to be. Until Jason’s mother entered the chat. She was horrific, kinda reminded me of my grandmother. Ummm but she was loco. And I’m still stunned like did she lose it, is Jason possessing her, is it a little of both. But it’s fine bc she was terrifying and I really didn’t expect it to be Jason’s mom, even tho I’ve heard this and that about the movies over time.

The music!!! Was so nerve racking- im anxious just recalling it- but until Jason mom is on the screen it’s really a waste. Bc like I said all the camp counselors are bumbling doofs and nothing they did or happened seemed to match the mood and level of fear in the music.

* just a few side notes. Two things- why was the Kevin Bacon sex scene so weird and slow and long. I could’ve done without. But I guess it’s to throw you off the scent for what happens after. Annnd that head chop. Okkkay. Wowzers.

I know this is a collection of unhinged ranting but that’s how I’ve felt thinking about it all week since we watched it. And I also am just confused about the lore and story of Jason that I feel a need to watch the other movies in the franchise. Buuutttt idk. That’s a concerning thought. I think it was a solid slasher movie. But do I necessarily get the big hype that it’s the best ever???? (That’s probs Jason takes Manhattan)

Rating: 4.5/10 👻 Ghosts

[sketchy-rosewitch]

Discovering Eden

Description: Two stories about Eden’s first kisses and discovering her identity.

A/N: Accidentally stayed up all night last night to write the first part. Just finished writing the second.

Warnings: Ignorant thinking, Transphobia, misgendering Eden (cause she’s not out of the closet).

OC Info page

Eden always had a hard time as a child. Growing up if Bo wasn’t around she’d be teased by some of the town’s younger boys for “wearing girl colors”, and these boys would also soon find out she always volunteered to wear dresses and makeup for her mother. They’d tease her for that too. This always lead to Bo threatening to beat these kids up, Bo would threaten to beat up anyone for his siblings, younger, older, didn’t matter. Now the town girls, well, they liked Eden for this, they used her as a doll, always telling her their brothers never let them do stuff like this.

Even though they saw her as a boy, she couldn’t get over how special they made her feel. Glittery makeup stolen from their mothers and beautiful baby blue or pastel pink dresses for Eden to wear. Mother’s would coo at Eden and thank Trudy for raising such a nice young man, while grandma’s sneered at how disgusting it was having a boy dress like that.

Now, not every family treated Eden this way. There was a family that lived near the pet store, a grandma, dad, and son. Eden and Lester hardly got to see their blood grandparents so they when they visited they called the grandma, Meemaw. Meemaw let Eden dress pretty all the time and her son never complained about Eden to her parents or lectured her saying “Boys don’t dress like that!” He even gave her judgmental glances, Eden and Lester called him Mr. Hirsch, they liked him more than their own parents, but not as much as they liked Bo. Last in the family was Mr. Hirsch’s son, Ezra.

Eden only ever called him Ezra, not Ez or Ezzie or any other nickname. He didn’t like nicknames, he liked his name, and his name was Ezra Theodore Hirsch, he always shouted it or corrected people, he was proud of it, as if he came up with it himself. So, that’s what Eden and Lester called him. Well, they only called him Ezra Theodore Hirsch when they greeted him, then when they’d play he’d go by Ezra, then when they’d say goodbye they’d call him Ezra Theodore Hirsch again.

Eden liked Ezra. He was strange, yet he somehow managed to make everyone in town like him. If any kid didn’t like him it was only gossiped about and it wasn’t like Ezra cared. Ezra, he always had better things to do than worry about people.

That’s why right now Ezra was yelling at random people from his roof while he was waiting for Eden and Lester to come over for a sleepover.

“GOD IM GONNA NEED A BARF BAG JUST LOOKIN’ AT YOU GEORGE!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP YOUR LUCKY I DONT BEAT YOUR ASS!”

“YEAH WHY NOT CHICKEN HEAD?”

“EZRA THEODORE HIRSCH GET BACK IN THE HOUSE!”

Ezra looks down to see his dad with his hands on his hips, looking up at him. He purses his lips and crawls back up towards his window, falling into his room. Minutes later two sets of feet are heard thudding up the stairs. Ezra smiles just as Eden and Lester burst through the room.

“Hello, Ezra Theodore Hirsch!” They say in unison. The twins take their backpacks off and set them by his closet.

“So, what do we wanna do? Meemaw said dinner is at six, so that’s like an hour and a half, then we can play more and we’ll have not one, but TWO movies to watch! Indiana Jones Raider of the lost Ark and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom! My dad rented both of them!”

“Wow, your dad’s the best.” Lester says, Ezra nods.

“Let’s go down to the creek. I got things I gotta show you.”

The kids go down to the creek and Ezra shows them a small shelter he set up.

“I tried to make everything clean as I could in here. I know you don’t like bugs and dirt Eden.” Ezra puts his fists on him hips proudly and smiles.

“Thank you.” Eden blushes a little. She didn’t know if she had a crush on Ezra or if Ezra had a crush on her. But hun doing these small things to accommodate her made her feel happy to be around him.

“So we’re gonna play now, Eden gets to be the princess cause he likes girly stuff. Lester, you and me get to be cool pirates who dig up treasure for the princess. Cause you and I like to get dirty.” Ezra explains. Lester nods and solutes making Eden and Ezra laugh. “I made a chair so you don’t gotta sit on the ground.” Ezra gestures to a log close to the shelter, it has a small blanket which only had leaves and twigs on it which the kid quickly wiped off.

Eden sat on the log and watched as the boys dug around. She always liked watching and observing. Very few times she got in on any action.

-

By the time it was a quarter to five the boys had dug up only a few bone fragments from what looked like a squirrel, Lester was quick to go down to the water and wash them then bring them back up to Eden, then she’d set them next to her.

“We should go back before Meemaw comes yelling for us.” Eden says looking at her watch. Ezra and Lester agree and make their way back up to the house.

“Did you guys have fun?” Meemaw asks as soon as she hears the storm door creak open.

“Yes!” A three of the kids say before making their way to the bathrooms to wash their hands. Eden makes her way to the kitchen sink and washes them there before helping Meemaw set the table.

“Such a sweetheart, always.” The old woman compliments, ruffling the girl’s short hair. Eden smiles and sits down. The boys come running in after, then Mr. Hirsch.

Everyone says a prayer and begins eating the spaghetti Meemaw made.

Ezra made disgusting slurping noises causing the twins to laugh while Mr. Hirsch sighed, glaring but smiling at his kid.

Once they finish Mr. Hirsch begins setting up the living room with sleeping bags and pillows. The kids run upstairs and get changed into pajamas. “Guess no more playing?” Lester asks.

“No, didn’t think about the fact that two movies is like forever, so we can just play tomorrow.” Ezra sighs sadly.

-

The second movie ends and Lester is passed out next to Eden. Eden sits in the middle of the two boys with her hands folded on her lap. Ezra goes to rewind the tale and ejects it putting it back into its case.

The two stare at each other, Eden blushing lightly. It can’t be seen though as the tv turns off. All that is seen is the silhouettes of the two kids.

“Do you think you’re a boy or a girl?” Ezra suddenly asks, Eden sucks in her breath and looks down.

“I’m a boy. Everyone says so.” Eden declares. Though she doesn’t sound sure.

“Well, you dress like a girl, wear all those dresses and pinks, your hairs growing out, you like hanging out with girls a lot. Oh you really like makeup too. Makeup is icky though.” Ezra retorts. One thing about Ezra was he hated being wrong. For some reason he knew he wasn’t wrong here. “You’re a girl.”

“I- Ezra. I just like that stuff cause it makes me happy, not cause I’m a girl. I was born in a boy body it makes me a boy.” Eden huffs and Ezra is quick to answer.

“I just don’t think that you’re a boy. I think you’re a girl. You’re okay with everything that girls do even if people say something about it and stuff. Meemaw thinks you were just born in the wrong body. I think she’s right, and I never think wrong.”

There’s a moment of silence before Eden sniffles a bit. “If I’m a girl you can’t tell anyone about it. Cause even though Bo usually handles it I don’t wanna cause more trouble than I already have okay?”

“Okay… well if you’re a girl, which you are. We should kiss.”

Ezra’s mouth always opened before he could even think about what he was going to say. But he never regretted anything he said, even if it embarrassed him.

“What?”

“We should kiss. And just like I won’t tell anyone that you are actually a girl, we won’t tell anyone we kissed. It’ll be a secret. But only if you wanna.”

Both of the kids shuffle and kneel and sit on their calves.

They both lean in and Eden pecks Ezra quickly before pulling back and hiding her face. Ezra bites back the shit eating grin he has before taking and hugging Eden.

“Was that okay?” Eden asked, Ezra nodded and laughed.

“Yeah, you’re cute Eden.”

“Shut up.”

-

Eden’s second kiss was her first kiss from a girl. This was 3 years after her first kiss.

Eden sits in the back seat of a pickup truck heading back into Ambrose, her friend Sidney Wallace sits beside her. She’s a year older than Eden but Eden managed to get into the same English class as a bunch of Sophomores. In the front sits Sidney’s sister a cheerleader named Tabitha and her boyfriend, a band kid named Nick. They were both seniors.

It was a Friday night and they were heading back from a football game, the windows down as country music played softly on the radio. Eden would sleepover at Sidney’s, though she wouldn’t tell her, she had a crush on Sidney.

The small down comes into view, lights from the street shine down like small ufos. Nick turns into the Wallace residence and everyone gets out.

Sidney is quick to grab Eden’s hand and take her into her bedroom, shutting the door and turning on her stereo, it plays softly in the background as Sidney rummages through her closet for pajamas.

“Wasn’t that fun?” Sidney asks taking out shorts and a button up pajama shirt for Eden to wear. Eden shrugs and begins taking her clothes off.

Being in large crowds wasn’t her style, but at least she got to see her team win instead of hearing their amount of losses as gossip between students.

“Yeah, I guess. Just didn’t think people got so crazy. Which is silly because I see how they act when my dad watches football.” Eden laughs a little and buttons up her shirt, Sidney lets out a snort and slips a dress on.

“Yeah happens every week. But if you wanna go to one again we don’t have to be in the student section. That’s usually where they act up. Some weeks I go sit with my parents.” Sidney admits, she slips under the blankets and holds them up for Eden to get in too. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but Eden still got flustered when Sidney would ask.

“Wouldn’t mind, as long as I get to hang out with you.” Eden admits, Sidney giggles and touches Eden’s arm lightly making Eden want to curl up from being so flustered.

“You’re so cute Eedee.”

Eden looks at Sidney, her heart swells up and stomach bursts in butterflies. Sidney looks up at Eden and runs her finger down her straight blonde hair to her chin.

Not knowing what to say Eden speaks the first works that are in her head. “You’re cute too Sidney.” Eden attempts to look away but Sidney’s thin finger moves her face back towards the black haired girl.

“I wanna kiss you.” Sidney whispers softly, Eden’s breath catches in her throat, she can’t speak, instead she nods.

Sidney leans up and kisses Eden softly, her lips are smooth with cherry chapstick. It smells lovely. Sidney pulls away for a second and looks into Eden’s blue eyes, Eden stares into her brown ones.

“Was that okay?” Sidney asks, Eden nods and goes in for another kiss.

[khaleesiofalicante]

Me: time to do important applications

My brain: or……… You can go on Tumblr.

While I’m here, how about some life updates:

I have a few job interviews coming up, and no matter how many times I do these, nerves are so fucking real.

Also, whoever developed the idea that my best friend and I had to go to meetings that last from 12 to 3 with like really short breaks, and then there was one that lasted from 12 to 6, in order for us to keep our college scholarships because fucking capitalism should burn. i’m just happy she’s there, because we text each other and gossip about the really annoying people at the meeting. Like that one girl that keeps interrupting me.

I went on a date like two weeks ago with a real life girl. Crazy I know, my love life has been nonexistent for months. And crazily enough, after the date, she still wanted to speak to me. She’s really sweet though, and we may or may not have stayed up a few times till 4 AM just talking and no matter what happens, it has 100% been really nice to get to know her. My friends seem to like her though so that’s a plus. We are absolute dorks with each other and it’s just a vibe.

My vacation was also very nice. We stayed at this little condo by the beach because my friends uncle has money. And it was lovely, it had a nice balcony where you could hear the ocean below. Plus I just got to sit around and do nothing but gossip with my friend and watch random YouTube videos with her. Plus gossip with her mom who is one of the funniest women I’ve ever met in my life.

I’m also trying to get back into reading which has been nice. I’m trying to get through this book of short stories about various meet cutes.

I think that’s about all the stuff going on in my life. Have you been surviving the difficult January? Did those people end up crossing those boundaries that you set continuously? if the answer is yes, drop their location, I will have to “take care of some… Business.“ Preferably with the use of sharp objects.

Song rec: this used to be one of my favorite songs when I was younger. https://music.apple.com/us/album/hoja-en-blanco/27064339?i=27064315

OKAY WAIT BUT THIS IS A LOT TO PROCESS GIMME A SECOND OMG.

Interviews are the fucking worst. I hate them too. But also as someone who conducts interviews, remember being confident is literally the most important part. And you are a confident badass bitch. You got this.

Also adulthood is literally attending super long mandatory meetings that shouldn't exist. Welcome to the hellhole :)

ALSO WHAT IS THIS ABOUT A DATE. Also screaming at you saying "real life girl" and clarifying it lmao so valid. People you can easily talk to, feel comfortable around, and make you laugh are the best kind of people. I like her already.

I'm so so so glad you got to go on vacay. I wish we can eternally be on vacay and not work smh. I haven't read anything yet. I'm hoping to read at least a couple of books a month so send me your motivation I need it!

January has been okay. I just keep focusing on my tasks and getting them done as usual. But I'm kinda tired and it's ridiculous because it's like only mid January???? As for the people who kept crossing boundaries and overworking me, I'm actually quitting. My contracts (yes i have three contracts with them that's how much work i do for this one fucking client) end in March and I'm gonna ask them not to renew them because I'm so tired of their bullshit. I might keep one of them because I genuinely enjoy that project but let's see if they let me keep it hehe.

And the song rec was a vibe. Here is a song i listened to a lot as a kid and I still do. It's an Arabic song and just an absolute bop.

[lori133]

GOT II - The Bran Saga

Second day of reading seventy pages from Catelyn (2) till Catelyn (3). A lot happens but also, not a lot that's not Bran centric happens. I got too lazy to do the chapter per chapter thing, so I'll just write down my thoughts while reading.

Catelyn (2)

First we start with Cat and Ned being intimate when she gets the secret message from her sister.

While reading her wishes to give Ned another child, I kept wondering... what for? I mean, I know that before the more children you had, the better. But Cat is a sensible woman, she must have known that at some point a son of hers would be sent to the Wall as was Stark tradition, right? The only reason I can think of her wanting another child is the coveted youngest daughter; Sansa is bound to marry a high lord and Arya is not the kind to stay at home with her eldery parents.

Going back to the plot, Ned was totally right to try to nope out of the drama of being hand of the king. He was also super on point on comaring himself to his father who went south and never come back. Foreshadowing is mad strong for Ned.

I loled at Cat being surprised she and Robb were staying north. What did she think? That they'll let a steward in charge? I mean, they do exactly that one book from now, but still, it makes sense to leave and adult and the heir in charge.

Lastly, Cat was totally right to tell Ned Jon was his and not hers. He should have taken Jon to the south with him, or sent him as a ward to another northern house if he was afraid because of Jon's hypothetical Targ blood. This will be an unpopular opinion but Cat's bad relationship with Jon is all on Ned, he should have made up a story about Jon's origin (he already told Robert there was a Wylla, why not repeat the story) and assuage Cat's fears of ursurpation.

Arya (1)

Ah the glorious war of sisterly rivarly. To be fair to Sansa, it was Arya who butt in her gossiping, Arya who yelled, attrating the Septa's attention, and Arya who was not paying attention to her stitches. It isn't Sansa's fault she is more suited to the role society expects of her.

I remember reading this as a tomboy girl and thinking Sansa was vapid (she is) and mean (maybe, but not here), but it was just nother consequence of the conditioning that other girls are the enemy; a little like what happens here.

Bran (2)

I adore Bran and I think GRRM does as well. The prose always flows somewhat better on his chapters, as do the descriptions of the places. I feel that it is through his pov that the most worldbuilding gets done. Through his eyes, Winterfell seems like a magical place, full of adventure and wonder; contrasting to everyone else describing it as a dump.

The tower scene is still so good, just like Bran, we the readers have no context of what is being plotted and by whom. And just like him, we think everyhting will be alright until bam! Anyways, great intro to Cersei's paranoia and Jaime absolutely lack of care.

Tyrion (1)

Again Jaime dgaf, I imagine it must be very frustrating being his sibling and seeing all the privilege he gets and how unserious he takes everything.

While I did say I haven't watched the show, I must have seen the slap scene at least twenty times via reels and I have to say that while Joffrey reads nearly he same as the actor, both the Dog and Tyrion have much more flair and charisma on screen than on paper. Kudos to the actors for adding a bit of charisma to the otherwise stilled scene.

Jon (2) -> I wrote nothing on this and two hours after have literally forgotten what happened.

Daenerys (2)

And I keep on being reminded why I skimmed through Dany's chapters. Not a fan of all the coupling that's going on and how it is described basically as men coupling with interchangeable women who have no say on it. All of it was quite terrible to read, and I would never understand why couldn't Dany (and the rest of them) be a couple of years older. It is just the same shock if she were fifteen than thirteen, only Drogo wouldn't be bedding a literal child. :/

Moving on, why was Viserys so entitled??? You would think that being absolutely destitute and having no followers other than you seven years younger sister would teach him some humilty, but it didn't? He is on Illiryo's charity but still acts like his boss? It is his sister's wedding to the most powerful guy in the continent and he expects to be served first? This feels seriously like a YA mean girl.

Ned (2)

Yeah, Bobby B is a shitty king and Ned is not even in KL and his frustration is already through the roofs. I feel for him and the inevitability of his failure. That comparision with Jon Arryn... Ned can you please stop narratively dooming yourself for a second?

Note to myself: Who even put the dragon skulls in the throne room? Aerys for max Targaryen rep? Tywin in a gothic allegory of the Targaryen fall?

Tyrion (2)

Benjen/Tyrion Highschool AU anyone? Both youngest sons, both dutiful counterparts to their more celebrated brothers and controversial sisters? I'm grasping at straws I know, I just really liked their one (1) interaction. It was just the right amount of petty.

Another character with lots of foreshadowing. Being obssessed with dragons and draming of having is a very Targaryen trait. So I'm starting a count of characters who dream/want to have a dragon; so far it is just Tyrion (and Aemond and Rhaena from Hotd).

Lol the dragon skulls was Aerys. I haven't read Fire and Blood and now I wonder wether it was always like that or was it just Aerys drama? Did Viserys I have Balerion over there? Did Aegon I put Meraxes on display? Somehow I don't think so.

It is also interesting that despite Vhaghar surviving Meraxes, Meraxes skull was noted by Tyrion to be bigger than Vhaghar's. It would be interesting if Vhaghar was Visenya's craddle egg and they did the conquest so late because they were waiting for Vhaghar to grow.

Note to myself: Meraxes skull was in Dragonstone in Hotd, but for some reason it is in the Red Keep afterwards.

Catelyn (3)

The Targaryens: passing Aegon's dagger along with it's prophesy from ruler to heir. Joffrey: Giving it to the first hobo he finds for him to use as the least inconspicious muder weapon to kill a comatose boy. LMAO.

[youhaveforgottenmealready]

Fic Excerpt "The Carriage Held But Just Ourselves" (Jason/Dick)

"Trouble in paradise?" Jason asked. 

Dick took a sip of his lukewarm drink. "We don't…work. In some ways."

Jason raised an eyebrow at that. "What ways?"

Dick huffed. "Kinda personal," he said.

"Ah. Trouble in the bedroom ." 

Dick stalled his answer by taking another sip of his beer. Jason waited patiently and Dick was starting to feel even looser, so what was the harm in answering? His inhibitions were drifting up and away like helium balloons. 

"Bedroom trouble," he said. "She says she doesn't have any complaints. But I…do. Have complaints."

"Woman like that? What's to complain about?" Jason said, looking skeptical. 

Dick sighed and slouched on the table. "I know I sound like a jerk. You're right: she's great. Beautiful, brave, smart. She's a dream girl."

"But?"

"But she's got a weird idea about faithfulness."

Jason looked surprised enough that Dick wanted to laugh. He held his hands out, pleading for understanding or asking for forgiveness for gossiping about a teammate. Both. Who knew? The alcohol was doing a lot of heavy lifting. 

Jason ruffled his gray streak, then pushed it off his face. It was still wet enough that it stayed slicked back, a sleek look that made him look like a hawk. "It couldn't be such a surprise. She's pretty chatty about stuff like that. Her people don't do monogamy, right? Thought you'd be…accepting of other cultures and customs or whatever," he said.

"I'm plenty accepting," Dick said. He thought, then added, "Or I was. Not feeling like being so accepting anymore. I want someone to…bend for me. Does that make sense? Someone to make a sacrifice for me. Give up something for me."

When Jason said nothing, Dick let out a long, slow breath, like releasing pressure from a valve. "I know I sound selfish," he said. 

Jason lifted one shoulder carelessly. "Nah. You don't sound selfish. You sound like a guy who knows what he wants." 

"I do," Dick said. His tongue was just starting to feel clumsy. "Or I did."

"And now?"

"Now I'm just fucking horny," Dick said and laughed at himself. He laughed harder when Jason let out a surprised bark of laughter, too. 

"Damn," Jason said, shaking his head. "How long has it been, man?"

"Like three weeks. Wait, maybe four. See? I'm losing my mind here."

"Oh, poor you," Jason said and rubbed his eyes. He was looking a little loose himself, the beer making his features go soft. 

"I'm not used to sleeping alone, to be honest," Dick said. 

"I can believe it. You've got a reputation."

"Do I?" Dick said, still chuckling. "Huh. I guess I do."

Jason said, "A real heartbreaker, right?" and pulled a face. 

"Well this heartbreaker is this close to watching porn and jerking off. I never usually have to," he said. His tone was matter-of-fact, and only a little self-pitying, he decided. He held his thumb and pointer finger an inch apart to show how close he was to the unthinkable. 

"This is serious. This is end of the world talk," Jason said. He seemed to be enjoying playing along with Dick's joking, pity party moment.

Dick hiccuped and laughed again. "We're all doomed."

"All because you're randy."

"Yep: all because I broke up with Kory, and now I'm randy."

Jason leaned forward and he didn't look so soft and drunk now. In fact, the hawk look was more intense than before. "Well, I can fuck you better than she can, anyway," he said.

Dick stopped laughing. He went very still. Jason was watching him, green eyes dark and sharp. They regarded each other in silence. Thunder rumbled in the distance and the wind whistled through the alleys below. 

"Don't joke like that," Dick said at last.

"I'm not joking," Jason said. He put his beer down, tossed the ducky towel to the ground, and peeled his jacket off. He folded it loosely and placed it by his hip. His damp t-shirt clung to his body, a second skin showing off the lines of his muscles, the shape of his powerful physique. He licked his lips slowly, then his eyes traveled up Dick's body before locking with Dick's. "What makes you think I'm joking?"

Read the Whole Story Here:

The Carriage Held But Just Ourselves

[mrkis]

the way life goes — one

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: na jaemin x reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 20.9k

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: for three months, after a hard breakup with your ex, you refuse to let another man worm his way into your life even if it was for love or pleasure to avoid that ugly feeling of heartbreak... but then you bump into jaemin

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slow burn-ish, so much plot & way too much dialogue, fwb type, friends to possible lovers, the majority of kpop 00'liners are in this, other nct members also make brief appearances, crack hmour throughout, a lot of sex talk & jokes, black haired jaemin, jaemin is super mysterious and hot, explicit content, swearing, alcohol consumption, mention of exes, heavy make-out session, groping, yangyang trying to get it on with the mc

"There's a rumour going around that Jeno is sleeping with Yeeun"

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Miwoo barely speaks through her mouthful of cereal, cheeks puffed and milk seeping through the corners of her mouth as she stares over at Haru with rage. Haru, who is laying across the sofa with her feet resting in your lap, shakes her head as she flicks through her phone before pointing the screen in both of your directions.

You both lean forwards, seeing that it shows a few messages between Haru and a few other girls in a groupchat that you had muted the second it was made, not interested in all the drama and the gossip that your classmates were obsessed with.

The messages weren't exactly proof that Jeno was sleeping with Yeeun, but the girl in question failed to deny any of the rumours and accusations that were thrown at her, only ever replying with a winky face or a tongue emoji.

"Didn't you guys just go on a break?" You ask Miwoo as your turn to face her with a confused expression, watching as she swallows her cereal with a scowl, leaning back against the cushions as she fishes for her phone out of her hoodie.

"Yup" The bitterness is clear in her tone as she angrily swipes through her phone, annoyance and betrayal obvious on her features. You were aware that the relationship between Miwoo and Jeno wasn't exactly the healthiest, but you know how deeply Miwoo is into him despite all the obvious flaws.

The two have been on and off for years, breaking up with the wildest of arguments and then getting back together a few hours later (sometimes it was seconds) with angry makeup sex which usually ends up with you and Haru having to plug your ears with earphones and turning the music on to max volume whenever it happened.

"It could be a lie" Haru says as she glances at Miwoo over the top of her phone, eyeing her for a brief moment before bringing her attention back to her screen. "You know how obsessed Yeeun is with the guy... she would do anything to have Jeno's dick shoved down her throat"

"Yeah, well, I hope she chokes on it and dies" Miwoo sneers as she shoves another spoonful of cereal into her mouth, munching angrily as she glares down at her own phone screen, reading through the group chat messages.

You smile in amusement at her choice of words as Haru snorts, removing her feet from your lap to sit up comfortably, rubbing the back of her neck.

Miwoo glances over at Haru. “Can you ask Renjun for me or something?”

Haru arches a brow. "Ask him what?"

"If Jeno is sleeping with that thing" She pulls a face of disgust, refusing to say the name of the girl that is possibly sleeping with her ex. Haru looks unamused and Miwoo is quick to put her bowl of cereal down to clasp her hands together and whines. “Please!!! I need to know if it’s true, okay?! Can you please ask your boyfriend if—”

"Renjun isn't my boyfriend"

"Oh, so he's just some random guy that takes you out on dates, compliments you, kisses you, stays the night and fucks you?? My bad!" Sarcasm rolls off Miwoo’s tongue and the annoyed look on Haru’s face makes you laugh but you’re quick to cover it with a cough as she glares your way. “Look, can you please ask your boyfriend who apparently isn’t your boyfriend if his roommate is sleeping with Yeeun?”

"Fine" Haru gives in and it makes Miwoo squeal, jumping over the coffee table to tackle Haru in a hug, wrapping herself around Haru’s body which causes her to grumble and complain at Miwoo’s weight but she makes no effort to throw her off, the little smile on her face giving away how she truly felt about Miwoo’s affections.

“Oh, and while you’re at it, why don’t you ask Renjun about hooking one of his friends up with Y/N?” Miwoo smiles at you teasingly. "I know how badly Yangyang wants to hit it"

"No way. Leave me out of this” You shake your head, watching as Miwoo pulls herself off of Haru to give you a look, crossing her arms over her chest with a familiar glint in her eyes and you mirror her actions, shaking your head again. “I’m serious… I don’t want this conversation again”

"I was only kidding" Miwoo pouts but she soon begins to whine as she tugs at your arm. "But, come on... you haven't had sex in, like, three months!! You used to have more sex than me and Haru combined when you and Eric were—"

"Miwoo" You warn her and regret instantly washes over her face as she realises what she said. Haru is quiet but she observes you, watching your facial expression which switches between annoyance and sadness. Haru knows that Eric is a touchy subject and that you do not like talking about the boy who had basically broke your heart.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to say that, it's just—"

"No, it's fine" You cut her off, giving her a tight lipped smile. "But stop trying to hook me up with anyone, especially our friends!! I'm not interested in dating or anything... I'm perfectly fine with how the way things are now"

"Still, no sex?" Miwoo stares at you in disbelief before she shakes her head. "Couldn't be me"

You can’t help but smile at that, familiar with how much time Miwoo likes to spend ‘rolling around the sheets’ with Jeno. You never judged her for it, sex was a normal thing for everyone, but it still blew your mind that Miwoo would fuck Jeno almost every day and in different locations. She was daring, that’s what made her fun.

"You're obsessed with dick" Haru states.

"Jeno's dick, to be exact" Miwoo smiles dreamily before it completely drops off her face and is replaced with a scowl. “Which I’m going to cut off next time I see him. Has Renjun texted you back yet?”

"Yeah, but not about that" Haru flicks through her phone. "He said that they're throwing a party tonight at theirs to celebrate, and I quote, 'Shotaro popping his cherry'... it starts at 7"

“Okay, one, why the fuck is he ignoring that question? That’s super suspicious and now I’m even more mad” Miwoo fumes, pointing a finger at Haru’s phone in anger. “Two, Donghyuck and Yangyang need to stop throwing parties for people losing their virginity”

"Um, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't you ask them if they would throw a party for you after you lost yours to Jeno?" You give her a look, a smirk slipping on to your face as you notice the way she glares at you. “I mean, I vaguely remember you threatening to chop off their dicks and blend their balls into a smoothie if they didn’t throw you one too”

"I hate you, literally" Miwoo huffs, standing up from the sofa to take her empty bowl into the kitchen. “And just so you know, that was the best party I’ve EVER had in my life!!”

“You don’t even remember half of it though” Haru says as Miwoo walks back into the room.

“Exactly” Miwoo plops down beside you, resting her head comfortably on your shoulder and looping your arm with hers. She clings to you tightly, cuddling into your side as she eyes the TV. “The best types of parties are the ones you can’t hardly remember. It’s facts”

"Or it's because the ones you do remember are boring"

"Yeah, whatever, it could be that" Miwoo goes quiet for a moment. "We're going to that party tonight, right?"

"I mean, we can... but are you sure you even wanna go? If this whole Jeno and Yeeun thing is real then she's definitely going to be there tonight"

"I think it'll be better if they're both there, it'll be great to see them both" Miwoo confesses and you give her a strange look, wondering what the hell happened to your best friend in the span of a minute as you bend your neck to peer at her face just in time to see an evil grin on her lips. “So I can murder them both at the same time”

"Why don't you just make him jealous or something?" You suggest. "Flirt with one of is friends, get a reaction out of him... nobody is stopping you"

“You’re totally right!” Miwoo gasps, eyes wide at the idea. “I’m going to sleep with one of his best friends!!”

“Wait, wha— no, that’s not what I—”

“You’re a genius! I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before!” Miwoo cries out as she flings her body across yours in an attempted hug, the position a little awkward as her arms are already wrapped against your own so her head is squashed against your boobs. “I love it when you use that brain of yours!”

You frown. “I use it all the time…”

“Who would you even sleep with anyway?” Haru chuckles, curious about who Miwoo would choose as she wasn’t exactly the type to sleep with anyone but Jeno. She crosses her legs underneath her to get comfy as she counts on her fingers. “First, we have Yangyang—”

“Hot, but no. He's desperate for pussy and he wants to get inside Y/N. Pass” You slap her arm because of that.

“Donghyuck?”

“He once told Aisha drunk that he would happily drink a shot glass out of her asshole… hard pass”

“Shotaro?”

“He literally just lost his virginity, I don’t want to scare him with my experience. Pass”

“So... it’s Jaemin?”

“Jaemin?” Miwoo repeats the name with a hum. “Mysterious, super hot, basically wattpad material… plus, he’s like Jeno’s other half, they’ve been best friends since they were practically birthed from the womb. This is perfect!”

“Are you sure you want to choose Jaemin?” You question, a look of worry featured on your face as you nibble your bottom lip nervously. “I know I said to get back at Jeno and make him jealous, but I didn’t mean his best friend… you could potentially ruin a good friendship”

“I mean, yeah, I get that” Miwoo nods. “But Jeno knew from the beginning how much I despise Yeeun and that we don’t get along, yet he still slept with her—”

“Technically, we don’t know if he actually slept with her” Haru interjects as she stares at Miwoo. “It’s still a rumour. Like I said earlier, Yeeun is obsessed with Jeno so she probably came up with all this herself”

“That wouldn’t surprise me” You admit.

“Yeah, me neither” Miwoo sighs, detaching herself from you so she could sit comfortably, lips pursing in deep thought before she smiles, eyes flickering between you and Haru. You side glance at Haru who stares back at Miwoo with furrowed brows, clearly confused on why she’s being looked at. “Let’s get ready, ladies. Tonight is going to be crazy!!"

"Hey!! You made it!!" Yangyang drunkenly greets the three of you as he swings open the door, a grin plastered across his face as he engulfs you all in a tight embrace, pressing a sloppy kiss to each of your heads. Miwoo complains loudly, slamming her fists against his chest as she tries to escape from his sweaty hold but that only makes him laugh and squeeze tighter.

You manage to slip underneath his arms and free yourself with Haru who rolls her eyes at his antics before she grabs your hand to tug you through the mass of drunk and sweaty bodies, smiling and greeting the people you recognise from your classes as you both make your way to the living room where Shotaro, Renjun and Donghyuck were sitting.

Renjun is the first to spot you both approaching, standing up from the sofa to greet Haru with a kiss which she immediately reciprocates and you watch in amusement, remembering what she had said earlier. Not my boyfriend, my ass. You push past their bodies to get to Shotaro, holding out a crate of beer.

“Here you go, big guy" You give him a big cheesy grin. "I couldn’t find a card that said ‘congratulations on losing your virginity’ so this will have to do”

“Ahh, thank you” Shotaro shyly smiles as he clumsily takes the beers out of your hands, his rosy cheeks and unfocused eyes were proof that he was completely out of it. Shotaro fumbles with the crate and nearly drops it to the floor but you were quick to catch it.

“Dude, how much did you drink already?” He points to the many empty bottles on the ground. Your eyes almost bulge out of your head in shock. “Okay, maybe I should’ve gotten you a box of condoms instead”

“Already beat you to it, sweetcheeks” Donghyuck proudly grins as he throws his arm around Shotaro’s shoulder. “Me and Yang got everything that he and his penis needs”

“Wow, how incredibly thoughtful of you” You speak with a sarcastic tone, giving him a tight lipped smile. Donghyuck shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly just as Miwoo stumbles into the living room with Yangyang at her side, clearly not impressed with having him follow her around and cling to her side.

“Someone better get him away from me before I yank off his balls and make him eat them” Miwoo warns angrily and fear washes over Yangyang’s face, instantly covering his area as he’s dragged to the sofas by Donghyuck.

“What is it with you and balls?”

“Easy to grab” Miwoo answers easily before she turns her attention towards Renjun who now has Haru on his lap, arms loosely wrapping around her waist while she has one arm around his shoulder. Miwoo raises a brow. “Really? Not your boyfriend?”

“We just don’t want a label, got a problem with that?” Renjun asks her with a look of annoyance.

Miwoo scowls at his cocky attitude. “No, but I’m going to have a problem with you. Why didn’t you answer Haru when she asked if Jeno slept with Yeeun?”

“Because whatever he does is none of my business” Renjun answers. “Besides, why does it even matter? You guys will be back together by tonight anyway, it’s how you both work”

“Not this time” Miwoo snaps as she glances around the room, eyeing the faces of the people who were lingering around. “Where is Jaemin?”

“He’s probably lurking around here somewhere, like he usually does” Donghyuck cracks open the beer can from the crate you had bought, bringing it to his lips and taking a swig before eyeing Miwoo, raising a brow. “Why do you want to know where Jaemin is?”

“It’s none of your business” Miwoo grumbles as she spins on her heel and disappears into the mass of bodies, searching to find the boy in question.

You sigh as you watch her go, debating on whether to follow behind and try and talk her out of sleeping with her ex's best friend but you knew it wouldn’t work. Once Miwoo is set on doing something, there’s no way of convincing or even stopping her. She’s stubborn, which is good for some situations, but it’s one of the quickest ways to get into trouble.

Haru, on the other hand, now seems unbothered by what Miwoo is doing now that she’s with Renjun, all of her thoughts and feelings that she was having vanished the second she’s in his embrace.

Haru is definitely the one that seemed the most chilled out of you and Miwoo. Even if she is mentally struggling or troubled, she usually kept it to herself and dealt with them alone despite your many attempts of telling her that she could come confide in you whenever she pleased.

However, over time, you notice that Renjun’s the one who she speaks to when she’s down and how happy he makes her with simple words and gestures. It surprised you, a lot, especially in seeing a side to Renjun you thought you’d never witness.

Renjun was an asshole to everyone else, but he wasn’t to her. How cliché.

“Here, drink up” A beer can is shoved in front of your face. You blink, taking the can in your own hands as you look at the person who gave it to you. Yangyang wears a grin on his face. “I forbid to let you be the only sober person here”

“Is that what you said to Shotaro?” You query as you side eye the boy who seems like he’s going to pass out, giddily smiling and eyes fluttering shut as he listens to Donghyuck talk about him finally ‘becoming a man’.

“Yeah, of course!” Yangyang pushes the can in your hand. “Drink up, baby!”

You roll your eyes whilst you bring the can to your lips and tip your head back, chugging the beverage that sends a satisfying burn down your throat, furrowing your brows in annoyance as some of the drink seeps through the corners of your mouth. You toss the empty can to the side, wiping your chin with the back of your hand before reaching for another but you pause as you feel eyes burn into your head.

You look up, seeing Yangyang, Donghyuck and Shotaro stare at you with wide eyes and their mouth agape while Haru looks proud, sending a thumbs up your way before Renjun brings her attention back to him, gripping her chin and attacking her mouth with his own.

“What?”

“I genuinely think you’re the love of my life” Yangyang says in awe. “That was so hot”

“Me chugging down a beer was… hot?” Your face scrunches in confusion, Yangyang continuing to stare at you in awe while Donghyuck hastily nods in agreement. “I don’t know if that is creepy or concerning... you guys get weirder every time we see each other—apart from you, Shotaro, don’t let them corrupt you”

“Okay!” Shotaro beams.

“You say we’re weird but you can’t seem to stay away from us” Yangyang points out as his hands reach out to you, resting on your hips and pulling you forwards until your knees hit his own. “You’re making me nervous by standing in front of me”

“All seats are taken, Yang”

“But not this one” His head gestures down to his lap as he tugs you again with a sleazy grin. “Come sit on dad—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence” You cut him off quickly as you grip his wrists to stop his fingers dancing along your sides to try and tickle you. “I don’t fuck with daddy kinks”

“Liar. You just haven’t found the right one to call daddy yet” Yangyang teases while he rips his wrists out of your grasp to attack your sides again. “Sit down and I’ll stop”

“Fine!” You laugh, giving in and allowing him to pull you down to his lap. Yangyang cheers, wrapping his one arm around your side once you manage to get yourself comfortable but you pause as you feel something hard dig into your back. “I really hope you have a phone in your pocket, Yang”

“No, I’m just happy to see you”

“Do you have no self control?” You turn your head to look at him with an amused smile. “Seriously, how do you get turned on so much?!”

“You’re hot” Yangyang shrugs his shoulders as if it’s nothing. “You’ve sat on my lap multiple times before, how is this the only boner you’ve felt?”

“I don’t casually just feel for your boners, Yang”

A smug grin appears on his lips. “Well, I wouldn’t mind if you did. You can feel me up all you want—”

You fake gag. “You seriously need to get laid”

“You know, it will not surprise me if you guys hook-up at some point” Donghyuck pipes into the conversation suddenly. Your head snaps towards Donghyuck with a glare, reaching over to grip his ear and tug harshly which makes him cry out. “Ow!! I’m just saying!! You guys flirt constantly so it wouldn’t surprise me”

“You flirt with me constantly too” You add.

“Yeah, but do you see you sitting in my lap talking about boners and wanting to feel me up? No”

“Yangyang’s a whore and he sticks his dick in anything that gives him the slightest attention or turns him on” You glance at Yangyang who stares at you with a blank face. You smile sheepishly. “Sorry, but it’s true”

“I wasn’t disagreeing”

“See!” You point at him. “He’s a whore!”

“You know that technically means he’s good in bed, right?” Donghyuck wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and Yangyang clicks his tongue, pointing finger guns at his friend before they high fived.

“I’ve heard different”

“Hey! Fuck you!” Yangyang cries out. “When was the last time you—”

“How’s things going with Aisha?” Haru buts into the conversation, steering away the topic of your sex life which you were extremely grateful for, knowing that they would bring up Eric whom they were familiar with. You send a thankful smile her way and she winks back before looking at Donghyuck. “Is she finally agreeing to go on a date with you yet?”

“No” Donghyuck sulks. “She’s ignoring my texts and completely avoiding me!”

“I would too if you told me you’d take a shot out of my asshole” Haru gives Donghyuck a sarcastic smile which he retaliates with a middle finger. “Why the fuck would you even tell someone that? What was going through your head?”

“I was drunk!” Donghyuck defends himself. “I also saw it in a porn video once and the girl seemed to really enjoy it”

“It’s all fake, you know that right?”

“That shot glass in her ass wasn’t fake—”

“She meant porn, dumbass” Renjun rolls his eyes. “The people, the moans, the cum… it’s all fake. They’re actors who get paid to have sex in front of cameras, they’re not actually a couple or whatever they are in the videos. They’re not really enjoying it and the amount of cum you see is fake… it’s just a fake liquid they put into the girl”

Donghyuck seems baffled, blinking multiple times with his mouth open, struggling to come up with a sentence as he looks back and forth between Shotaro and Yangyang. “Wait, did you guys know about this?!”

“Yes” Yangyang nods.

“No” Shotaro hiccups. “Aw man”

“Well, that sucks” Donghyuck sighs as he takes a gulp of his drink, clearly not amused at what he’s been told as he pulls a sour face until his eyes widen slightly, a thought popping into his head. “Wait, what about the homemade amateur type ones where they’re in the guys bedroom trying to get freaky but it ends up just being awkward with a lot of kissing and hesitant touches and it makes you skip the parts where he tries to talk dirty because it sounds too forced”

“Okay, wow, that’s oddly specific but yeah, some of the stuff you can see is real” Haru answers him, picking up a can and drinking the remains. “It’s just the really high quality production stuff you see that is fake. Perfect lighting, perfect bedroom, perfect angles, all that stuff”

“Oh”

“Donghyuck?” Donghyuck turns to you with a hum as you call his name. “How did you even find someone drinking a shot glass from a girls asshole in the first place?”

“Trust me” Donghyuck’s face seems mortified. “You don’t wanna know”

You had lost count of how many beers and shots you’ve consumed, wobbling around the house and grasping onto the walls as if it would help you keep your balance. You’ve tripped more times than you would like to admit and bumped into randoms who gave you the dirtiest looks for spilling their drinks. You didn’t care, not one bit.

You’re unsure on how, but you were talked into playing so many drinking games (that you didn’t even know existed) by Donghyuck and Yangyang. You were positive the majority of the games were made up just so people could have an excuse to drink more.

You watch your friends from afar with a drink in your hand; Haru and Renjun playing beer pong with another couple who you didn’t recognise, the two cheering and embracing each other tightly whenever they had gotten a ball into a cup, before throwing up their middle fingers to the opposite team. They were a perfect match.

Miwoo drinks shots after shots while staring over at the other side of the room where Jeno stands with a group of people, laughing at whatever was said by one of the boys. Yeeun and her friends were a part of the group but they weren’t standing next to each other or acknowledging each other, still, you knew that Miwoo would be infuriated.

Shotaro is dancing in the middle of the room with Yangyang who is having trouble copying his difficult moves and tripping over his own feet, the two laughing whenever he tumbles to the ground and complains that the room is spinning too fast.

Donghyuck is sat on the staircase with Aisha who looks uninterested in whatever he’s saying, sending a concerning look his way as he spills his guts about something you fail to catch and you can’t help but cringe at the way she pushes away from him to head over to a unfamiliar boy with a guitar in his hands—

“Who brings a guitar to a party?” Miwoo’s voice questions from beside you and you’re surprised at her sudden appearance.

“That’s what I was thinking” You giggle, glancing at the boy for a mere few seconds before looking back at Miwoo, noticing her wobbling stance. “How much have you had to drink already?”

“Look at him, acting as if everything is fine when it’s CLEARLY not!!”

“Have you spoken to him yet? Or have you found out if him sleeping with Yeeun is true?”

“Nope” Miwoo sighs as she leans her head on your shoulder. “But it’s clear that they have! Yeeun was basically glued to his back earlier when they came from the garden. I want to punch her…”

“You—”

“Also, I still haven’t fucking found Jaemin yet! This night is a disaster already!!” Miwoo lets out a whine and you pat her head sympathetically. “If you find Jaemin, send him my way… I am super drunk and super horny right now. Do you wanna make-out?”

You chuckle amusingly. “Maybe later”

“Cool” Miwoo giddily grins as she raises her head from your shoulder, her attention moving from Jeno to Haru and Renjun who were still playing beer pong together. “They are definitely boyfriend and girlfriend, fuck labels”

“They’re cute” You admit, staring down at your empty cup with a frown. “And I’m out of drink, want a refill with me?”

“Sure, but go on without me first, I really need to pee”

“Want me to come with you?”

“I got it” Miwoo dismisses you with a wave of her hand as she stumbles through the bodies, reaching the stairs where Donghyuck remains with a sulk, drunkenly reaching out to touch Miwoo but she kicks him before rushing up the stairs with Donghyuck angrily following behind.

You snort in amusement, pushing yourself off of the wall to head towards the kitchen, managing to swerve past the sweaty bodies without bumping into anybody this time. You walk through the door and head straight for the refrigerator, pulling it open and eyeing the shelves to search for the best flavoured alcoholic drink the boys had hidden away.

A yellow sticky note catches your attention as you spot a bottle of whiskey pressed against the back of the refrigerator, reaching inside and plucking the note between your fingers to read it, an amused smile slipping on your face as you read the messy handwriting.

⌜this is mine. fuck of y/n - renjun⌟

"How did you know?" You snort as you speak to yourself, sticking the note back to the bottle and reaching for a gin instead which probably belonged to Yangyang but you didn’t care, knowing that he likes to constantly raid your kitchen for drinks and food whenever he’s over.

You place your empty cup down on the kitchen island, twisting open the cap for the gin and pouring in it, briefly taking your eyes away as you hear a sound, wondering if you’ve been caught red handed by Yangyang himself but your eyes widen once you see who it actually is.

A black haired male stands opposite you, attention fully focused on his phone in front of him while his free hand digs into a bag of fries, pulling a few out every so often and shoving them into his mouth as his eyes lock on the screen, definitely captivated by whatever he is watching.

He raises his head, noticing he was no longer the only person in the room and his eyes met yours, pausing his movements for a second to take in your appearance, trailing his eyes around your face and the corner of his lips lift slightly before he drops his head back down to his phone, shoving more fries into his mouth.

“Jaemin?” You mouth to yourself, taking a few seconds for the name to fully register in your head before a gasp flies past your lips, instantly turning on your heel to go find Miwoo and tell her the guy she’s been looking for has been hiding in the kitchen this entire time. How did Miwoo not know? Has she even checked the kitchen yet? How the fuck—

“Y/N? Y/N!” A voice drunkenly slurs out your name and you freeze on the spot, mind becoming completely blank in a second. Your mouth dries up and your heart thumps wildly against your chest as you hear footsteps approaching you and you mentally curse at yourself for not being able to move your feet.

You muster the courage to look over your shoulder, watching Eric stumble through the back door and into the kitchen with outstretched arms, a drunken smile spread across his face as he makes his way towards you.

You fail to reciprocate the hug when his arms wrap around you, his newly dyed pink hair tickling against your cheek and you fight away the urge to scratch at the spot with your nails. You’re not sure if Eric is oblivious to your uncomfortableness or if he’s ignoring it but he pulls away nonetheless, keeping one hand on your shoulder to balance his wobbly self.

“How’ve you been?” Eric strikes up a conversation with a question, sending a giddy smile your way as his eyes rake your form. “You look great!”

“I’m fine” You cringe at how quiet your voice is. You speak louder. “I’m fine”

“I haven’t seen you for so long” Eric states, his hand coming up to affectionately smooth your head and your brows pinch together at his touch, a familiar feeling warming your heart and you hate yourself for missing it, but you know it’s just the drink making you feel a certain way.

The drink seems to have already hit him hard, watching as he accidentally stumbles into your side as he tries to lean against the kitchen island, grabbing onto the marble for balance as he turns towards you with a cheeky grin.

“What have you been up to lately?” Eric asks you as he leans on his elbow, running his hands through his hair. “You don’t come to Sunwoo’s parties anymore, I thought you would’ve been there for the last one since it was a pretty big deal”

“I thought it would’ve been awkward” You answer honestly, looking down at your hands as you anxiously scratch at the skin of your thumb. You avoid his piercing gaze, knowing well enough that he’s staring straight at you with that look in his eyes, he can read you like an open book and you hate it.

“No, of course not” Eric chuckles as he reaches towards you, fingers grazing over the bottle of gin that you held tightly in your grasp. “We’re still friends, right? We seemed to end on good terms, so—”

“You know what, I’m just gonna pour myself a drink and go. I’m supposed to meet Miwoo with her drink as well, she’s probably wondering where I am” You rush out, refusing to let him finish his sentence as you nudge his hand away from the bottle and grab two spare cups from the side, rushing to pour yourself and Miwoo a glass.

“Wait, what? Hold on” Eric frowns softly as he reaches for the bottle again, trying to tug it out of your tight grasp. “We haven’t spoken in a while, Y/N… It’s my first time seeing you in, like, three months?”

“I know, but I really need to go. Miwoo is waiting for me” You lie through your teeth, getting frustrated as his hand grabs the bottle again, preventing you from doing anything else. You go to shout, to tell him to let go before he spills the bottle but you’re a second too late, one last tug from Eric ends up with half of its contents on you.

“Oh, shit!” Eric curses, eyes widening at the mess he’s made all over your now soaked shirt. You gasp as the coldness touches your skin and he’s quick to grab a few napkins from the kitchen counter, and dabs at your chest. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I-I’m drunk and I don’t really—”

“It’s fine. Can you sto—”

“I really am sorry” Eric babbles on and on, not fully understanding that the dabbing at your breasts is making you uncomfortable, especially in this situation where you didn’t want to talk or be around him in the first place. You were desperate to leave.

“Eric, please—”

“She told you to stop” A voice speaks up from the side, the black haired boy finally raising his head from his phone to give Eric a hard look who froze under his stare, not knowing how to react as Jaemin reaches forward to take the napkins out of Eric’s hands and toss them to the side.

Eric lets out a nervous laugh, dropping his hands to his sides. “I was just trying to clean her up—”

“No, you were making her uncomfortable”

“What? I wasn’t making her uncomfortable” Eric scoffs as he faces you and you stumble back slightly, covering your wet shirt with your arms. “Was I making you uncomfortable, babe?”

“Don’t call me that” You whisper, the little pet name bringing back memories you were trying to forget, wanting to keep them locked out of your mind as they no longer gave you any source of happiness, but anger and sadness.

“Oh, come on” Eric chuckles softly as he places his hand on your shoulder and you move back again to avoid his touch. “We were bonding just now, don’t be like this...”

“I, uh…” You try to blink away the dizziness you’re experiencing, the wet shirt that clings to your skin sends a wave of insecurity over your body. “I’m gonna go find my friends. I-I need to go find Miwoo and Har—”

“I’ll go with you” Jaemin buts in quickly, eyeing Eric who seemed to have wanted to say the same thing as he sends an annoyed look at Jaemin who completely ignores it, pushing himself off of the kitchen counter to stand beside you.

You want to protest, to say everything is fine and you can go find them yourself but you would be lying if you said you weren’t worried about Eric following behind or even finding you again later on. You need to get away from him before you go crazy or say anything that could embarrass yourself.

Jaemin motions for you to go first and you are quick to oblige, wrapping your arms around yourself as you exit the kitchen and let out a breath of relief, no longer feeling suffocated by Eric’s presence as you walk towards the living room in hopes to finding Haru or Miwoo but a hand gently tugs at your upper arm.

You turn around to face Jaemin, his hand still remaining on your arm and you furrow your brows in confusion as he nods towards the staircase, silently asking you to follow him which you hesitantly do, your mind going a hundred miles per hour as multiple scenarios ram into your head.

Why is he asking you to come upstairs? Is he going to ask you to sleep with him? What if he asks about Eric? What if he thinks you’re going to make out with him as a thank you for saving you from Eric? What if—

Jaemin opens his bedroom door and you follow him inside, pausing your steps as you take this moment to look around his room. You were surprised to see how neat everything was, expecting to see posters filling the walls and clothes all over the floor. The walls are a cream colour while his bed, closet door and desk are a dark brown. He had two computer monitors on his desk, the corner of your lips twitching into a small smile as you assume he plays games.

There was a high quality camera placed beside his monitors next to a black sketchbook that had the words “photos” scribbled on top in white ink and at this, you smile. He likes photography. Your fingers itched to open the sketchbook, to dive deeper into his interests but you knew how weird and invasive that would be considering this was your first time actually meeting Jaemin. You were strangers.

“Here” His voice breaks you out of your staring and you look at him with wide eyes, seeing his arm outstretched towards you with a shirt in his hands. You look down at the shirt confused. “Yours is wet”

“Oh, yeah” You mumble softly, remembering the incident as you take the shirt out of his hands. Jaemin turns around to give you some privacy, fiddling with his blackout curtains on the other side of the room as you quickly tug off your shirt and put his own on, fixing your hair as you glance in his direction. “I’m, uh… I’m decent”

Jaemin faces you with no expression, taking your shirt out of your hands and folding it carefully before placing it on top of his laundry basket. Is he going to wash your shirt?

You point at the basket. “You don’t have to do that. I can take it with me”

“You’re going to carry a wet shirt around a party?” He questions you, raising a brow. “That’s kinda weird”

“That’s not what I meant and you know that” You point an accusing finger at him instead and he shrugs his shoulders. “I can take it home with me. I’ll ask Haru if I can throw it in her bag or something—”

“Haru and Renjun are having sex in his room” Jaemin informs you and you snap your mouth shut in surprise, not expecting him to say those words which slowly start to sink in and you give him a weird look. “There’s a sock on Renjun’s door… I saw it when we came up here”

“Oh” You breathe out. “That’s… nice”

Jaemin nods as he turns away from you to sit down at his desk, typing his password into his computer before the screen shows his netflix homepage, filled with various movies and tv shows with his recently watched list. You fight the urge to smile as you see it’s mainly filled with horror movies and rom-coms.

“I’m Y/N, by the way” You introduce yourself. “Just in case you didn’t know…”

“I know” Jaemin nods as he scrolls through netflix. “I’m Jaemin”

“I know” You shoot back, missing the way a smile quickly flashes across his lips before it disappears again. You eye him as he clicks on a series you haven’t seen before, getting comfortable in his seat as he waits for it to start. “Are you… not going to go back downstairs to the party?”

“Parties aren’t really my thing” Jaemin admits, eyes never leaving the screen. “Especially ones that overcrowd the house”

“Then what were you doing in the kitchen?” You press, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Eating” He answers easily. “I was hungry. Jeno ordered food before anyone arrived… mine was still uneaten”

“Oh” You lick your lips. You mentally cringe at yourself for being so dumb, pinching yourself as a warning to use your brain. You take a quick glance at Jaemin to see him fully engrossed in the show that's playing on his screen.

You scrunch your brows together. Are you invading his personal space right now? Should you leave? You felt awkward standing in the middle of his room without saying anything, but the alcohol in your veins forced you to stay in his presence, to talk to him and find out more about the mysterious guy your friends live with.

“You can sit down, you know” His voice interrupts your thoughts, reaching down under his desk to pull open the door of a mini fridge that you failed to notice when you first walked in, revealing all kinds of beverages that makes your mouth water. “I have alcohol if you want it”

Jaemin doesn’t bother to wait for your answer, already grabbing two cans of beer and handing one to you without even glancing your way, cracking his open with one hand and this allows you to get a closer look at the rings that decorate his fingers. Three on the left hand and two on the right.

A gold cartier ring wraps around his right index finger, a ring you know that a few of the other members wear since Renjun was the one who purchased them, it makes you smile. Silver rings of all different sizes are on his left hand but the one ring that stands out to you the most is the silver snake that wraps around his right middle finger. That’s... super hot.

You take a sip of your drink and avert your eyes away from Jaemin’s hands as his head turns in your direction. He’s caught you staring, you weren’t so discreet. His tongue pokes at his cheek, tilting his head to the side.

"Do you like it?”

The drink hits the back of your throat harshly and you cough, slapping your hand over your mouth to try to conceal the noise. “What?”

“On Netflix, the show i'm watching. Do you like it?” Jaemin repeats in more detail. You clear your throat, rubbing at your chest as you glance at his computer screen, seeing the three main characters enter a building.

"I've never seen it before... but it looks cool?"

Jaemin smiles widely at that, seemingly impressed as he turns back to the screen. You watch as Jaemin unplugs his headphones from the computer and reaches to his right to flip off the switch to his bedroom light, engulfing the two of you in darkness.

His computer monitor is the only light source in the room, the characters' voices drowning out the music and chatter from downstairs. Jaemin leans back in his chair to get comfy, bringing the can to his lips and keeping his eyes focused on the screen.

You’re hesitant but you decide to do the same, settling down on his bed covers and shuffling around to comfy, letting the alcohol burn down your throat as you watch the show with him. You didn’t fully understand why this was happening, why he is allowing you to invade his personal space? You are a complete stranger to him.

But you were thankful… you really didn’t want to go back down to that party.

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾

Yet again, you were uncertain of how many beer cans Jaemin had given you, the evidence already thrown away in a trash can that was near his bedroom door. You feel dizzy and a little uncoordinated, unable to use your feet normally as you bounce up from the bed and Jaemin is quick to steady you before you fall back, holding your arms tightly.

“You really can’t hold your alcohol well” Jaemin mutters under his breath, carefully pushing you back down on the bed and he crouches in front of you, his hands gently squeezing your knees to get your attention as your eyes wander around the room. “Do you need—”

“Holy fuckkk, you’re so—hiccup—pretty” You slur your words as you take a good look at him, stunned by his beauty that stares back at you in the face. Jaemin raises his brows in shock at your sudden compliment but then he grins, stifling a laugh as you press your fingertips against his face, admiring his features and the smoothness of his skin. “Wow, your skin is soooo soft!”

“Y/N?” Jaemin takes your hands in his and you hum, tilting your head to the side as you stare at him with a cheesy smile. “What’s my name?”

“My future b—”

“Okay” Jaemin cuts you off with a laugh, reaching behind himself to grab a spare bottle of water out of his mini fridge. He unscrews the cap and presses it to your lips, forcing you to gulp down the cold water in hopes it will help sober you up or at least help you come to realisation with your surroundings.

The water dribbles down your chin as you struggle to keep drinking, pushing the bottle away from your mouth with a gasp of air. Jaemin screws the cap back on and settles it down on the floor, eyeing you warily as you scrunch your brows together.

“Are you going to throw up?” He asks softly and you shake your head. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel dizzy” You pout, rubbing your forehead as if the dizziness feeling would magically disappear. The room was spinning way too fast for you to stand and you were sure there are two Jaemin’s kneeling in front of you right now.

“Alright, lie down” Jaemin orders while gently pushing on your shoulders, laying you back against the pillows. You watch through your blurry vision as Jaemin glances at something on his computer. “It’s pretty late so you can stay here tonight, alright?”

“Whattttt?” You slur, raising your head from the pillow, pulling a face. “What about my friends?”

“The party was over an hour ago, they probably went home” Jaemin explains as he starts to untie the laces on your doc martens, pulling them off of your feet with one quick tug before placing your feet on the bed.

Your mouth drops open in offence, in shock at Miwoo and Haru leaving you at the party and going home without even checking to see if you were alright or even alive.

“Bitches!!” You cry out, pointing at the ceiling as if you were pointing at them.

“They probably didn’t realise” Jaemin says as he rummages through his closet. “They’re drunk too. Plus, someone might have told them they saw you come up here with me”

“Oh no” You whine as the realisation hits, remembering who you’re with and what the plan was supposed to be. “Oh shit, oh fuck, this is so bad… I’m not even supposed to be with you right now!!!”

"Jaemin glances over his shoulder at you as he pulls a hoodie out of his closet, slipping it on before he sits on the bed next to you. He quirks a brow. “What do you mean?”

“Miwoo wanted to sleep with you tonight to make Jeno jealous” You’re unable to stop your drunken slurring, already knowing you’ll regret spilling the plan later on when you’ve sobered up. “Jeno apparently slept with Yeeun so Miwoo wanted to get back at him, you know, hurt him as much as he hurt her”

“Ohh…” Jaemin hums, leaning his head back as he stares at the ceiling, pursing his lips together in deep thought. “Well, even if you weren’t with me right now, I still wouldn't let that happen. No offence, Miwoo’s pretty and all, but I wouldn’t touch her even if she was the last girl on earth even if she wasn't Jeno's"

You turn your head towards him to give him an odd look. “Do you have something against Miwoo?”

“She’s just not my type” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, looking down to fiddle with the rings on his fingers. "I've never been interested in her"

“Okay, yeah, sure” You snort, not believing his words. Miwoo’s pretty and she’s most definitely everyone’s type. You let a yawn slip past your lips, turning your head to cuddle into Jaemin’s pillow. “Then, who is your type? Jeno?”

You giggle at your pathetic little joke as you let yourself slowly fall into a deep slumber, failing to find out what Jaemin’s serious answer was but he doesn’t voice the truth. Only a soft smile appears on his lips as he turns his head to look over at you, reaching across to grab his blanket and cover your sleeping form.

Your eyes flutter open, a quiet noise escaping the back of your throat at the dull feeling of a headache, rubbing the palm of your hand against your forehead as you dig yourselves further into the sheets of your bed, the scent of vanilla filling your nose and you smile before softly until it wipes off your face completely.

Wait. This isn’t your bed.

You pull the sheets away from your face in alert, staring up at the ceiling which is clearly not yours and let your hand slip down from your forehead and over your face, heart thumping wildly against your chest as you worry you weren’t wearing any clothes underneath the bed sheets.

A wave of relief washes over you as your fingertips make contact with the collar of the shirt you’re wearing, happy that you didn’t end up getting a handful of your naked chest. You feel proud, a smile slipping on your lips as you push yourself up on your elbows, glancing around the room with your brows pulled together while trying to remember what happened last but your mind remains hazy.

That’s until you hear a sound coming from your left.

You turn your head slowly, eyes landing on a hooded figure sat at a desk in the corner of the room, fingers clicking away at a computer mouse with the low sound of Spell by Niki playing in the background, faint but you could still hear the words if you focus hard enough. This is Jaemin’s room.

His computer screen shows a picture of Jeno in a editing app and you watch with interest as Jaemin makes minor touches to the photo, smoothing out areas and sharpening others with small hums of approval.

You would be lying if you weren’t intrigued by his work, slowly raising yourself into a sitting position to take a closer look to see exactly what he’s doing but the sound of you shifting around the bed sheets catches his attention.

You freeze as Jaemin peers over his shoulder, eyes staring straight into yours and you internally panic, not knowing how to react or what to say under his intense stare. You opt with an awkward smile and a wave which you soon regret as his lips twitch in amusement.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Jaemin speaks first, apologising as he turns the volume all the way down so you couldn’t hear the song anymore. “Music helps me focus on my work sometimes… so—”

“No, no” You shake your head quickly. “I didn’t hear anything, I just… woke up. It’s okay”

“Okay” Jaemin gives you a small smile before he turns back to the computer screen, turning up the volume again before clicking away on the mouse. “How’s your head?”

“Better than I thought it would be” You admit, running a hand through your messy bed hair and cursing as your fingers get tangled in the locks. “What are you doing, by the way?”

“Editing my photos” He answers obviously and you almost face palm yourself for your stupidity. “It’s for my college work. I’ve gotta submit it in by tomorrow morning”

You blink in surprise. “Oh, you go to college?”

“Yeah. I go to Neo Tech with the guys'' Jaemin briefly takes a glance in your direction. “What about you?”

“Same… Neo Tech” You reply quietly, silence falling between you both as he continues editing while you shuffle off of the bed, reaching for your shoes and stuffing your feet into them as quickly as you could, trying not to make any sound but you tumble forward, tripping over your laces.

You manage to catch yourself before you fall, trying to ignore the fact that Jaemin was watching, clearly enjoying the way you make a fool out of yourself and your face heats up in embarrassment. You reach to grab your phone from the floor that must’ve dropped from your pocket last night, clicking the side button to turn it on but you sigh in defeat as the no battery icon flashes across the screen.

“Do you want to borrow my charger?”

“No, it’s fine” You shake your head as you shove your phone into your jean pocket. “I should get going anyway… my face is probably in the midst of being printed on a missing person poster and I really don’t trust Miwoo with picking the picture”

“That bad?” Jaemin quirks a brow and you nod your head quickly as you reach for your ruined shirt that was on top of his laundry basket, cringing at the events of last night's mishaps that fill your head. Fuck Eric and his drink.

You stare down at the sticky shirt in your hands, debating whether to take off Jaemin’s and put on your own but the feeling of having the stickiness on your chest makes you grimace and the stains on the front make you sigh in defeat, realising you would have to throw it away once you get home or hopefully Haru would visit her mom soon and you can ask for her magic touch.

“Just keep the shirt on” Jaemin says as he notices your inner dilemma, sending a small smile your way as he gestures towards his shirt that you’re wearing. “I don’t wear it anymore. Just have it”

“I’ll wash it and give it back to you” You tell him, already feeling awkward enough having to borrow his shirt, you didn’t want to keep it any longer. Jaemin nods and turns back to his computer screen, saving his progress and exiting the editing app to put his PC on sleep mode. He stands up from his chair, adjusting the hoodie on his body while shoving his feet into his converses.

Noticing your confusion, he sends you a smile and explains. “I’ll walk you home”

“Oh” You blink. “You don’t have to do that…”

“It’s fine, I want to” He doesn’t give you much time to respond back as he starts to leave the room and you trail behind him quietly, shutting the bedroom door behind yourself as you walk down the hallway towards the stairs, glancing at the bedroom doors that are left open from the other boys and your teeth bites down harshly at the bottom lip, coming to realisation that they’re all awake and probably sitting downstairs.

You internally groan, multiple scenarios running through your brain and you cringe as none of them are even good ones. You’re going to get teased for this. This is going to be blown way out of proportion and you seriously cannot be bothered to face them with your headache and your very unattractive appearance… fuck, you just want to go home.

“No way...” You hear Donghyuck gasp straight away as you walk down the stairs, raising your head to meet his stare, his eyes wide and mouth open wide. He points between you and Jaemin in shock, his spoon clattering to the table as it drops from his grasp. “NO WAY!”

Yangyang looks up from his breakfast and does a double take as he realises it’s you standing in the doorway, almost choking on his food and Jeno is quick to slap his back as he stares over at the two of you with a smirk.

Renjun stares at you from his place on the kitchen counter, eyebrows raising before he looks down at his phone in his hands, jabbing his thumbs against the screen in a rush while Shotaro, who’s sitting beside him, ignores everything around him as he contently sips something out of his mug, swinging his legs back and forth.

“Good morning, Y/N” Jeno greets you with a cheeky smile, glancing behind you to give Jaemin a look that you couldn’t describe. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here”

"Did you and Jaemin hook-up?!” Donghyuck questions before anyone could get a chance to say anything and your face heats up in embarrassment, shaking your head for his answer as you struggle to open your mouth. Donghyuck squints his eyes while he points at you. “Liar! You’re wearing his shirt!”

"That doesn’t mean anything!”

“It must’ve been some shitty sex” Yangyang sends a sympathetic smile your way. “I don’t think I even heard you once”

“You can shut the fuck up” You hiss as you point at Yangyang evilly and he pokes his tongue out at you in retaliation. “Nothing happened, okay? We didn’t have sex—No one is having sex!”

“Did you want to have sex?” Jeno asks you.

“Wha— no” You splutter in embarrassment. “No, I didn’t want to have sex—”

“Ah, man, that’s harsh. Sorry, Jaemin” Donghyuck pats Jaemin’s back as the latter comes to stand beside him, stealing a spoonful of his cereal which Donghyuck pulls a face at, clearly unamused.

“Wait— no, that’s not what I— I didn’t mean it like that—”

“Oh, so you do wanna have sex with Jaemin?” Renjun interrupts this time as he looks up from his phone, an obvious smirk spreads across his face which makes you want to slap it off.

You throw up your middle finger in his direction which Renjun happily gives back, chuckling as Shotaro innocently looks up from his mug, making a confused noise as he finally takes notice of what's happening around him.

Jaemin clears throat, grabbing your attention and he nods his head towards the front door, silently telling you to ignore the boys and leave which you’re happy to do, not forgetting to whack Yangyang and Donghyuck across the head as you walk by.

Donghyuck whines at his injury while Yangyang reaches for you but you’re quick enough to slide out of his way, poking your tongue out to tease him but Jaemin grabs your shoulders to push you out of the kitchen before a fight could occur, leading you to the front door.

“They’re infuriating, I don’t understand how you can live with them” You voice your opinion with a snarl as you open the front door and walk out. “We’re friends but I would seriously punch them within a heartbeat… and for free”

“You get used to it” Jaemin shrugs his shoulders with a smile, letting his hands drop from your shoulders and turns around to close the front door behind him, walking with you down the footpath. “Where do you live by the way?”

“Not far… like a 5, maybe 10, minute walk. It all depends on how slow you walk or what route you take” You explain to him quietly, wrapping your arms around yourself as the cold air nips at your skin. “You don’t have to walk me home, you know? I’m perfectly capable of doing that by myself”

“I know, but I’ll feel bad if I let you walk alone...plus, you stayed the night so I kinda wanna make sure I get you home safe” Jaemin clarifies, running his fingers through his hair as the wind blows. He eyes the goosebumps that have risen on your arms, debating whether or not to give you his hoodie that he’s wearing, the only source of warmth he has on his body.

But he’s cold… like, really fucking cold.

He didn’t give you his hoodie, but he did walk you to your apartment building.

You bid him an awkward goodbye, thanking him for the help yesterday and allowing you to crash at his place which he dismissed with a shake of his hand. You back up into the building, giving Jaemin one last quick goodbye and a short wave before you rush inside, missing the way his lips curl into a smile.

You press in the passcode and you walk inside after the beep, closing it tightly behind yourself. You hear the water running in the shower and you let out a sigh of relief, happy that they got home safe from the party and you instantly drag your feet towards Haru’s bedroom, peering your head around the doorframe with a sheepish smile.

Haru, who’s tucked under her bed covers with her laptop resting on her stomach, looks over at you as soon as she sees your face and raises her eyebrow at your expression, a tut escaping past her lips with a shake of her head.

“Where did you disappear last night?” Haru questions as you waddle inside and flop down at the edge of her bed. She turns her attention back to her laptop. “I called your phone multiple times but it must’ve died… Miwoo was literally on the verge of picking out your photo for a missing person poster until someone said you never left the house. We assumed Yangyang finally got you into his bed”

“I, uh, I ended up in Jaemin’s room” You reply and Haru’s eyes instantly snap towards you in not only shock but curiosity, closing her laptop and pushing it to the side as she sits up. You shake your head quickly. “It’s not what you think, we didn’t sleep together… I got too drunk and I bumped into Eric but Jaemin swooped in and practically dragged me out of there”

“Jaemin?” Haru repeats. “Jaemin as in Na Jaemin? The guy who avoids everyone like the plague and drinks americano with eight espresso shots like its water?”

“Yep” You lean against Haru’s legs with a sigh. “That’s the one”

“Well, that’s surprising” Haru chuckles softly as she strokes your head, eyeing the shirt that you wore on your body. “I may have forgotten half of the night, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the shirt you left in”

“It’s Jaemin’s… also related to the situation with Eric” You sigh as you remember the events that happened last night, grimacing at the thought of having the interaction with Eric. “He spilt a drink down my shirt and was trying to clean up the mess with napkins, it was the worst… he kept touching my chest and that’s when Jaemin got involved”

“Good, I hope Jaemin scared him away”

You snort. “Me too”

“So… What happened with Jaemin after the whole Eric situation?” Haru questions as she continues stroking your head, letting her curiosity get the best of her as she watches you carefully. “Did you spend the entire night with him?”

“Yeah. we, uh, we stayed in his room… We were drinking and watching netflix but I got a little too drunk and ended up passing out on his bed” You explain to her, warmth spreading across your cheeks as you remember the events of this morning. “It was awkward when I woke up, it was like I had completely lost the ability to start and hold a conversation without seeming… awkward!!”

“It couldn’t have been that bad—“

“It was awful, Haru. And do you wanna know what made it even worse?!” She raises a brow with an amused smile. “The boys. The boys made it worse. They were all awake and in the kitchen eating breakfast, and they saw me come down the stairs with Jaemin”

“So that explains the ominous text I got from Renjun… He sent me the eyes and lips emoji, like, three times” Haru chuckles.

“Renjun is a dick” You grumble as you remember your small interaction with him. “He asked if I wanted to have sex with Jaemin—just to tease me and make it worse… I wanted to kill him”

“Have you spoken to Miwoo, by the way?”

“No, I haven’t seen her yet. I came straight to you” You admit as you raise your head from Haru’s legs to give her a confused look at the sudden change in subject. “Why?”

“Well, you basically cock blocked her all night” Haru chuckles while you furrow your brows, lost on what she’s trying to say. “Dude, Miwoo’s whole plan was to go to that party and sleep with Jaemin but you ended up finding him and keeping him all to yourself—“

“Don’t say it like that” You whine at her teasing tone, lightly kicking her with your foot and she grins. You can’t help but smile at the snickering noises that fall from her lips, rolling your eyes as you glance down on Jaemin’s shirt that covers your body. “You know, I brought up the whole Miwoo wanting to sleep with Jaemin thing to him on accident”

“You what?!” Haru doubles over with laughter, clutching her stomach as she rolls to the side. “Oh my god!”

“I was drunk!! I was spilling out everything that came to my head like an idiot!!” You defend yourself with a smile, patting her back to stop her from laughing at your mistake. “But he said he wouldn’t do anything with her even if she was the last girl on earth and that she wasn’t his type… it was kinda harsh”

“Harsh but at least he told the truth, she won’t get lead on if she decides to sleep with him and end up catching feelings” Haru admits and you can’t help but nod as you agree. Miwoo is known for catching feelings quickly, even if someone glanced in her direction a second too long or if someone lingered with their touch but being head over heels for Jeno, she wouldn’t act upon those feelings.

“I literally have a headache from hell” A voice grumbles from Haru’s bedroom doorway. You both turn your heads to see Miwoo walk in with a fluffy towel wrapped around her body, her wet hair rolled up into another towel on her head.

“There you are” Haru grins at Miwoo, watching as she collapses on the side of the bed and curls into a ball. Haru raises her brow. “Oh, so I’m guessing my room is our new hangout spot?”

“Sorry, the room is spinning too fast, I needed to sit down” Miwoo apologies with a pout. “I feel like I’m going to throw up my entire insides… am I dying?”

“You’re not dying” You chuckle as you reach over to smooth her back comfortingly. “It’s just your typical hangover… you should be used to these by now”

“Is this your subtle way of calling me an alcoholic?” Miwoo lifts her head to give you a look and you send a smile her way which makes her flip you off with a grunt. “Anyway, despite the whole plan with me sleeping with Jaemin to make Jeno jealous was a huge fail, I did manage to get some one on one time with Jeno before the end”

“How did that go?”

“Good. We made up” Miwoo grins happily. “He did sleep with Yeeun which made me want to rip his balls off and sew her vagina shut but we basically let out all of our problems and frustrations when he fucked me in the bathroom”

“How romantic” Haru mutters.

“Wait, the last time we were together, you went to the bathroom with Donghyuck following behind you…” You point out, giving Miwoo a confused look. “Are you sure you didn’t accidentally end up sleeping with—“

“Hell no! Eww!” Miwoo interjects, shaking her head quickly and shuddering in disgust. “He followed me to the bathroom and complained about how Aisha is apparently playing hard to get when we all know she doesn’t like him… but that was that, he left and Jeno found me”

“So, are you guys back together?”

“For once, I have no idea. I’ll ask him if he comes over tonight” Miwoo shrugs her shoulders sadly. “He did tell me last night that he loves me and my pussy so that’s a good sign… he always tells me that after we have make up sex”

“Yet again, how romantic” The sarcastic tone is Haru’s voice makes Miwoo glare at her, throwing her the middle finger which Haru reciprocates, giving one back before laying down again, resuming the show on her laptop.

Miwoo is the one to sit up this time, turning her head in your direction to eye you suspiciously. “Somethings off with you… and I'm angry because I don’t know what it is. Tell me”

You let out a sigh before you fill her in about the night, about Eric and about Jaemin with a little help from Haru who makes small teasing comments that makes you want to disappear into the mattress, away from their eyes.

Miwoo is quiet as she listens, her brows rising in surprise at certain parts while remaining blank the other times and you’re wondering if you’ve made her upset or angry for, in Haru’s words, cockblocking her. But she shouldn’t be angry, right? She found Jeno in the end and they talked it out before having sex… surely that’s more important than—

“You had the perfect opportunity to get laid last night and you didn’t?” Miwoo tuts in disappointment with a shake of her head. Your brows scrunch together and your lips form a tight line, staring at her with the most blank expression as she sighs softly. “It’s a joke. I’m messing with you… but seriously? He said he wouldn’t sleep with me even if I was the last girl on earth and I’m not his type? I call bullshit”

“What’s bullshit?” Haru raises a brow. “That you’re not his type or he wouldn’t sleep with you?”

“That I’m not his type!” Miwoo exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air in disbelief and you bite on your cheek to hide your smile, watching as she places her hands on her breasts with a sultry look, sending a wink your way and her voice drops lower. “I’m everyone’s type”

“Yeah you are” You jokingly flirt back, squinting your eyes and biting your lip.

“Please stop flirting in my room and go shower, you stink”

The weekend flew by so quick that Monday classes were starting again, sitting in your usual seat at the back with your headphones plugged into your ears as you focus your attention on your notes in front of you, occasionally glancing up every so often to look at Haru and Miwoo who are in the same position, scribbling in their notebooks while bickering back and forth over something you wasn’t sure of.

You pull your earphones out of your ears as the professor stands up from his desk to discuss this week's work, pointing to the powerpoint he had presented on the screen before handing out papers to each of the students.

Miwoo smiles sweetly at the professor the second he hands over the paper, plucking it from his fingertips while batting her eyelashes. He pays no notice, giving the remaining two to you and Haru before walking back to the front of the class.

Haru snickers. “Stop trying to get his attention”

“I can’t help it” Miwoo frowns, resting her chin on her hand and she continues to admire him from afar. “He’s so gorgeous… my panties are wet just from looking at him”

“Miwoo” You scrunch your face at her choice of words, lightly kicking her in the shin for admitting that in the classroom, despite no one even paying attention to your little group.

“I’m serious!!! If Jeno and I weren't back together , I would happily get on my knees behind that desk and choke on Professor Moon’s dick until I die” Miwoo confesses, ignoring the laughs that come from yours and Haru’s mouth as she analyses his hands. “I see no ring on his finger so that’s a win for me”

“That doesn’t mean he’s single” You say with a smile. “It just means he’s not married”

"Shh..." She presses her finger against your lips. "Let me fantasise"

“Hey! Kim Miwoo!” A voice hisses her name angrily and the three of you give each other odd looks before turning your head to see Yeeun glaring at the brunette from the table beside you. “Have you been speaking to Jeno or have you seen him? He’s been ignoring my calls since Friday”

“Sorry, he’s been balls deep in my vagina since then” Miwoo smiles sweetly at her, ignoring the scowl that replaces the glare on Yeeun’s face. Miwoo looks at her innocently. “What? I’m telling the truth”

"You’re unbelievable”

“That’s exactly what Jeno said after I made him—“

“Alright, guys, you’re all free to go” Professor Moon announces, interrupting their forming argument. “Don’t forget to complete your assessments. I want them in by next week and if you fail to do so, I’m afraid there is going to have to be consequences”

“A punishment from Professor Moon?” Miwoo gasps as she turns towards you and Haru with a sultry look, teasingly pulling up her skirt. “Count me in”

Haru whacks her thigh which makes Miwoo laugh, gathering her books and shoving them into her bag with a smile. You follow, throwing your own belongings into your bag before heading to the door. Miwoo turns on her heel for a brief moment to throw her middle finger up at Yeeun who retaliates with the same gesture, huffing in annoyance as Miwoo cackles whilst she walks off, tugging you and Haru along with her.

Haru peers over her shoulder, wiggling her fingers at Yeeun teasingly before she disappears out of view. The three of you weave through a group of students that crowd the hallway, keeping close to not lose each other or disappear.

You heard Miwoo let out a squeal once you exit the building, spotting Jeno and the rest of the boys sitting on the grass across campus, basking in the sunlight and sharing food between them all.

Miwoo leads the way, practically skipping towards the group and Jeno is the first to look up, grinning as he sees his girlfriend and he pushes himself up to his feet, opening his arms to welcome Miwoo into a tight hug while Haru settles herself down beside Renjun who presses a quick kiss to her temple, resting his arm around her shoulders when she leans into his side.

You ignore the smooching noises Miwoo and Jeno make as you sit beside Yangyang, eyeing Jaemin who is opposite you, staring down at his camera with his brows scrunched in concentration until he senses someone looking at him.

He raises his head, his eyes meeting yours. He loses eye contact for a brief moment to take in your appearance, fighting back the urge to make a comment about the fact you are both wearing similar coloured hoodies before making eye contact again. A warm smile appears across Jaemin’s face in a way to silently greet you and you smile back, wanting to say something but you keep your mouth shut as Yangyang decides to move around beside you, stretching out his legs and resting his head in your lap.

“Are we doing anything tonight? What’s the plan?”

“You want to do something on a Monday?” You question Yangyang in disbelief, looking down at him and flicking his forehead. “Aren’t you tired from the weekend?”

“Totally, but that doesn’t stop me from wanting to have fun with my favourite people” Yangyang grins as he wiggles his eyebrows before sending a glare to the others as they fake gag at his cheesiness, flipping them off.

“Well, even if you guys want to do something later, I’m not free until seven” Haru says and you all turn to face her with a confused expression. “I have work”

Renjun frowns deeply. “I thought you work Wednesdays?”

“My boss wants me to fill in for another co-worker who is currently in the hospital because he broke his toe in the store” Haru explains with a smirk, clearly finding the incident amusing. “Johnny made him carry a speaker from one end of the room to the other fully knowing that this scrawny kid wouldn’t be able to hold the weight”

"Shotaro looks concerned. “Why would he make him do that?”

“Because he is a secret sadist who enjoys seeing people in pain. Besides, the kid is a little shit so he kinda deserved it” Haru jokes as she reaches for her phone in her pocket. “Johnny sent me a picture of the broken toe, do you want to see?”

“No”

“Yes!”

You watch as the boys scramble towards Haru, desperate to see the photo of the broken toe that makes you grimace just even thinking about it. Jaemin remains in his spot, chewing down on his bottom lip as he looks back and forth between his camera and his sketchbook that he must’ve pulled from his bag during the conversation, paying no attention to the chaos around him.

You find it cute how immersed he seems to be in his work, photography being an obvious passion to him which makes you smile. You come to realize that the reason why you’ve never interacted with Jaemin before is because he kept to himself. He wasn’t one for having long conversions and involving himself in situations unless there was a reason to.

He seems shy, which didn’t bother you at all. You’re aware that he most definitely acts differently around the boys, becoming more confident and outgoing whenever he’s around them but you hoped that it would end up being the same for you too. You didn’t want to verbally admit it, but you were desperate to become friends. You wanted to get to know him better and you didn't really understand why.

“Did you finish your photography project?” You ask him, finally mustering up the courage to start a conversation first. Jaemin raises his head to look at you with a confused look. Your face feels hot under his gaze. “That one that you were editing in your room, you said it had to be finished soon”

“Oh” Jaemin picks up his sketchbook, flipping through the pages and landing on the most recent one. He turns it around so the pages are upright on your end, handing it over and you happily take it out of his grasp as you stare down at the photographs with a smile.

The entire page is filled with pictures of the boys in all different poses and locations. Jeno’s picture, the one that you caught Jaemin working on the day you woke up in his bed, was stuck down in the middle, his smile beaming back at you and you couldn’t help but laugh at the expression, never seeing Jeno smile so big.

You hand the sketchbook back over to Jaemin who has been watching you the entire time, staring at your face to capture your own expressions and feelings about his photography, curious to know what you thought.

“These are really good” You answer the question that floats around in his head and a smile appears on his face at the compliment, taking the sketchbook back and shoving it inside his bag. “Do you always put your work in the sketchbook?"

“Not always” Jaemin shakes his head as he carefully puts away his camera. “I just put the ones I really like in there. Some are memories and some are just for aesthetic purposes... I just made a copy of the Jeno photograph because I liked it”

“That's because i’m his favourite model” Jeno joins into the conversation with a cheeky grin, throwing his arm around Jaemin’s shoulder who rolls his eyes playfully, nudging Jeno in his side that makes him grunt at the force. Jeno rubs the area with a pained expression and Miwoo violently, but jokingly, cusses Jaemin out but he takes no notice as he reaches over to grab the bag of candy out of Donghyuck’s pile of snacks.

He unwraps one for himself, throwing the treat into his mouth with ease before his arm stretches out towards you, shaking the bag as if to silently offer you one and you smile, happily taking one out of the bag and devouring it in an instant.

Donghyuck curses out loud as he snatches his candy out of Jaemin’s hands, whacking the back of his head with the bag before settling back down in his spot with a scowl, ignoring the glares Jaemin sent his way for hitting him.

“Let’s do something after your shift ends” Miwoo looks at Haru with a smile. “We can just go for food? I’m in the mood for some grease”

"Sure" Haru nods. "That new hamburger place near work opened up a few days ago, we can go there"

"Oh! That place is amazing!" Shotaro beams excitingly and you all turn to face him with curious looks, brows pulled together as the group waits for an explanation to why he's already been there. Shotaro's face reddens at the sudden attention and he looks down to avoid the stares. "It's where I went after I lost my virginity... we were hungry and that was the nearest place"

You hum. "Well, that's sweet"

"Wait, hold on... Shotaro?" Haru calls out his name as she leans away from Renjun to cross her arms over her chest, brow raising in suspicion. "Who exactly did you sleep with?"

Donghyuck lets out a dramatic gasps and points at Shotaro as the realisation of not knowing who was the one that had slept with one of his closest friends sink in. The offended looks that plaster across the faces of Donghyuck and Yangyang makes you snort but you're quick to slap your hand over your mouth to conceal the noise.

Jaemin meets your eyes for a quick second, the corner of his lips lifting upwards at the sound.

"She's in my dance department..." Shotaro mumbles, cheeks dusted a faint pink as he runs his fingers through his hair. "Her name is Yeji"

"YEJI?!" The majority of the group yells out in surprise, capturing the attention of other students who were lingering around, receiving odd looks and snarky comments about being too loud but they were ignored.

Jeno is the first to react normally by congratulating Shotaro with a pat on the back and a smirk, clearly impressed by the mention of Yeji. Renjun gives him a simple thumbs up whereas Donghyuck and Yangyang lunge forward while screaming, shaking Shotaro's body and pinching his cheeks and ears as they ramble.

"I can't believe you had sex with Hwang Yeji" Miwoo gapes in disbelief, staring at Shotaro with wide eyes. "That's, like, impressive... I heard she hasn't been with anyone since ending things with Hyunjin, which was shocking because they were literally a power couple"

"What's so great about Yeji?" Jaemin questions with furrowed brows, clearly not understanding the excitement.

"Well, for starters, she's the most beautiful and sweetest person ever" You begin, the girls nodding beside you in agreement. "Secondly, she's super talented... her dancing is powerful and her movements are so—"

"Sexy" Miwoo and Haru both cut in.

"Third, she's really smart. She was in the top of her classes and won awards for every single thing she had participated in... Plus, it's a big deal that she had slept with Shotaro because after her breakup with Hyunjin, she refused to give any guy the time of day—"

"Until our Shotaro came along and swept her off of her feet" Donghyuck coos as he pinches Shotaro’s cheek affectionately while Yangyang smooth's his hair and repeatedly whispers how proud he is. Shotaro fights back, trying to untangle himself from their grips with red cheeks, eager to get away and to no longer be embarrassed by his friends' words.

"So, what's the deal between you guys now?" Jeno asks as he drapes his arm loosely around Miwoo's shoulder who interlocks their fingers together. "Are you dating?"

"No" Shotaro shakes his head as he manages to finally free himself from Donghyuck and Yangyang's attacks. "I like her, but if she doesn't want to date then that's okay... I'm not going to push a relationship onto her"

"Oh, so it was just a one time hook-up?"

"I think so" Shotaro nods as he rubs the back of his neck, the topic of his sex life making him feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. "We're still friends... we talk a lot in our class so I think everything is good"

"You're adorable" Haru smiles as she leans out of Renjun’s hold to reach over and pat Shotaro’s knee lovingly before her face turns blank. “But I will rip her pretty little face a apart if she plays with your feelings in anyway possible”

Shotaro’s eyes widen in alarm as he splutters. “W-What?!”

Donghyuck laughs nervously as he drops his arms from around Shotaro, Yangyang quickly doing the same as he looks at Haru with a scared expression who smiles back sweetly at them. ”It’s okay, Taro... she’s kidding”

Renjun shakes his head slowly as he stares at them all, a creepy smile spreading across his lips that sends shivers down the poor boys’ spines. “No. No she’s not”

The music from a familiar band echoes throughout the apartment, blasting from the speakers in Miwoo’s bedroom as she plays her most popular playlist while getting ready for tonight's outing, screaming along to the lyrics with so much passion that it makes you laugh every time she tries to hit the high notes.

You, on the other hand, laid across your bed with your phone in hand, humming along to the song and scrolling through your instagram and twitter feed, catching up on the gossip and seeing who's hanging out with who. You double tapped a few of the photos that your friends posted, smiling at Renjun’s recent post of himself and Haru sitting outside her work building with Johnny photobombing with a grin in the background.

You’re aware that Haru is probably on her break right now, hence why Renjun is sitting outside the store with her and boss Johnny lingering in the background with a juul and a soda in hand. You left a joking comment on the photo which was instantly liked by the pair themselves and a response from Haru that was the infamous fuckboy emojis she likes to use whenever she receives a compliment.

You go to scroll further down your feed until you get a direct message from Renjun. Your brows furrow in curiosity, wondering what on earth he could want from you until you read the text.

renjun.huang: john wants to know if u want that limited edition shinee vinyl that was brought it

you: what the fuck????? you: ofc i do

renjun.huang: too bad its mine now

you: fuck u renjun i hope u choke

renjun.huang: go cry about it renjun.huang sent a photo

You click on the photo to see Renjun resting his head against the limited edition shinee vinyl while giving you the middle finger, a smug smile plastered across his face. You playfully roll your eyes with a scoff, clicking the camera icon and sending a photo back with a disgusted face and your middle finger.

You continue your scrolling for a good five minutes, rolling around on your bed to get in a comfier position until the music from Miwoo’s room cuts off abruptly and you pause, looking up from your phone to stare at your wall, waiting to see if anything is wrong and you almost laugh as you hear a sound.

“You fuckers!!” Miwoo yells loudly, throwing something hard on the ground with a loud thump. Your brows scrunch together in concern as you push yourself up from your bed, shoving your device into your pocket as you make your way out of your room and peer your head around her door frame, watching as she walks around her room while cursing under her breath.

You spot her phone laying on the ground and your arch a brow. “What happened?”

“Shotaro, Donghyuck and Yangyang are bailing tonight because Yeji called Shotaro to hang out and Donghyuck and Yangyang want to spy on them like the little creeps they are!!” Miwoo huffs as she pulls one of Jeno’s sweaters over her head, tucking the hem into her skirt hastily. “I don’t mind Shotaro bailing, he actually has an excuse, but those two little gremlins… god, I want to strangle them!!”

"Donghyuck and Yangyang have been idiotic little shits for years" You chuckle softly. "They're not going to change"

"Sadly" Miwoo mutters as she stands in front of her mirror, running her fingers through her hair and fixing her bangs. "Looks like it's just going to be me, you, Haru, Jeno and Renjun tonight—"

"Is Jaemin not going?" You interrupt, brows pulled together.

Miwoo shakes her head. "Jeno said that he isn't interested in going which, by the way, doesn't surprise me... Jaemin is antisocial afterall—"

"There's no way in hell I'm coming tonight"

"Will you stop interrupting me?!" Miwoo speaks with a pout, giving you a look through the reflection of the mirror but she is quick to do a double take as your words sink in. "Wait, what?! What do you mean you're not coming?!"

"Miwoo, you know how uncomfortable I get whenever the five of us go out together... I always end up as the fifth wheel!! The four of you can go out on a double date or something because I'm not looking like a loser... again!!" You internally cringe at the brief memory of the time where you were left with the two couples during a barbeque and how wrapped up they were in each other while you sat alone chugging beers after beers.

“But Y/N...” Miwoo whines your name, walking over before wrapping her arms around your form, bending awkwardly to rest her head against your chest. “It won’t be fun without you! What happened to the three amigos? The three musketeers? The three—”

“Okay, I get it” You laugh as you pat her on the back. “But seriously, I’ll be fine. I’m not exactly interested in those burgers anyway”

“Liar, I saw you eyeing the restaurant windows last week” Miwoo interjects, pulling away from your chest but keeps her arms locked around your waist, stopping you from moving out of her hold. You can’t help but smile at the action and the little pout present on her lips. She sighs as she realises you aren’t going to change your mind any time soon. “Fine. Stay here… I’ll bring you some food home. Those charcoal burgers are supposed to be delicious”

“Thank you” You pat her head softly before you take a look at her outfit. You hum softly. “Those little chunky black shoes look so good with the skirt and sweater combo”

“Right?!” Miwoo pulls away to skip towards her full length mirror, checking herself out with a wide grin. “I actually bought these babies in that store opposite that Dreamies café we went last weekend! There’s a guy with gorgeous pink hair that owns the store and he’s the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. I would happily get down on my knees and—”

“I think you sometimes forget that you’re with Jeno”

Miwoo dismisses your comment with a shake of her hand. “Oh, don’t worry about him. Jeno said he would do it with me”

Miwoo left for the night after some hesitation, staying behind a few seconds more to see if she could change your mind about coming but you had stood your ground, declaring you would be better off at home while the couples do their thing all together. Haru understood why you wanted to stay behind but that didn’t stop her from sending you countless sad faces and snapchats of her fake crying which were definitely embarrassing birthday post worthy.

She sent you yelling videos after screenshotting them.

During your alone time, you decide to finally get some of your assignments done and clean your room, throwing out things you no longer needed and cleaning the trash you had left from midnight snacking.

You ventured out into the kitchen after a few hours, bored of being cooped up inside your room and deciding to listen to your stomach that’s been growling for the past half an hour. You grab a pot and fill it halfway with water before turning on the stove and putting it on the heat, humming to yourself as you grab the last packet of instant ramen, making a mental note to get some more when you go grocery shopping next time.

“Ow!” You hiss as your finger accidentally grazes the pot when you drop the ramen into the boiling water. “Fucking bitch”

Ignoring the burning sensation in your finger, you continue watching your food cook while salivating at the mouth, patting your stomach that begs and pleads to be fed.

Fuck... maybe you should’ve went to the burger restaurant.

Your phone buzzes loudly in your pocket, making you jump in surprise as you weren't expecting to get a text from anybody. You dig your hand into your pocket to retrieve your phone, wondering if it was one of the girls giving you an update about their night but your eyes widen as a unfamiliar number stares back at you.

unknown number: is this y/n???

You feel yourself panic as you stare down at the text, your mind going into complete overdrive as you go over all the possibilities on who this could be and why someone would message you randomly. You wondered if anything happened to your friends or if it was Eric or Sunwoo trying to get your attention. You cursed at yourself for deleting their numbers.

you: who is this?

unknown number: its na jaemin

You exhale deeply, staring down at the name that belonged to the unknown number, slightly relieved that it wasn't Eric or Sunwoo but your brows pull together in confusion as you wonder how Jaemin had managed to get your number.

unknown number: hello????

you: yeah its y/n

jaemin: ok thank god i thought yangyang give me the wrong number jaemin: can i come over

you: wht you: what**

jaemin: can i come over

Your thumbs hover over the keyboard frozen as you struggle to think of a reply. It was the most simplest of questions yet you were so unsure on how to give the answer. Why were you so nervous? Why did your palms feel sweaty? Your phone buzzes again from an incoming message.

jaemin: haru miwoo & the boys got back early from the restaurant and theyre loud as fuck jaemin: why do they fuck so much??? jaemin: i need to get out of here asap before i lose my shit. u are my only option

Oh

jaemin: plus u still have my shirt

Oh god.

You gnaw down on your bottom lip, scanning your apartment for any underwear or unusual things laying around, knowing how much you all enjoy the freedom of living with girls and how comfortable you are around each other. You're also aware of how many times Haru and Miwoo would chase one another during petty fights with sex toys in their hands, threatening to throw them at each other's heads or possibly even actually launching the toy across the room.

You would kill them if you spot a vibrator laying around if he arrives.

you: uh sure you: just walk straight in when u get here you: the passcode to the door is 666420

jaemin: ....

you: it was haru's idea

You're sitting alone at the kitchen island, waiting for Jaemin's arrival as you slurp at your noodles, eyes nervously glancing around to check if you've missed cleaning anything from the floors or even on the sides. You cleaned up more than you would've originally liked, mentally cursing at yourself and the girls for leaving so much shit laying around the place.

Checking the digital clock on the wall, you pause mid chew as you notice the time. 9pm. Worry starts to sink in as you realise Jaemin is fifteen minutes late, wondering if he had forgotten where you lived or if he has changed his mind and wanted to stay somewhere else.

You're tempted to pick up your phone and send him a quick text to see if he was okay or if he was still coming but you decide against it, shaking your head and pushing the thought away at the back of your mind as you resume eating, just in time to hear the passcode to the door being pressed, the loud beeping echoing.

There's a small rustle and a quiet thump heard before the sound of footsteps make their way towards you. You look up, craning your head to the side and you are instantly met with Jaemin's figure standing in the kitchen doorway, seemingly cosy in a oversized hoodie and sweats. His circular, thin framed glasses rest comfortably on his nose and the corner of your lips twitch upwards at the sight, not familiar with this particular look.

Jaemin greets you with a soft smile as he nears towards you, holding a small white bag in his hand. The smell of fried chicken wafts through the air and your mouth instantly waters for a bite, watching as he sits beside you at the island and places the bag down on the marble.

"Sorry if I was late" He apologises, hand dipping into the back and pulling out a box. "I got us some food, figured we'd be hungry"

"You didn't have to do that..." Your face warms at the kind gesture and Jaemin dismisses it with a shake of his head as he grabs a cola bottle from the bag. You push yourself up from your current seat to retrieve spare utensils and two glass cups, handing them over to Jaemin who accepts gratefully with a smile.

You look down at the half eaten ramen, tongue poking at your cheek in deep thought as you slowly slide the pot so it rests between you both, signalling to dig in with a quick nod of your head when he gives you a confused glance. He smiles again, but this time as a thank you, before using his chopsticks to hastily slurp up the noodles, eagerly filling his empty stomach in a rush and humming in delight at the taste that fills his mouth.

A small smile slips onto your face before you turn your head, happily biting into the crispy chicken and savouring the flavour that rests on your tongue. Your eyes unconsciously drift over at Jaemin as the comfortable silence takes over you both, watching as he eats his food and mindlessly scrolls through his phone.

You wouldn't voice it, but you were secretly happy that he was with you right now. You enjoyed your alone time, you found comfort in your own presence but you also liked having someone around.

You felt appreciative that Jaemin was here, despite only knowing each other for a mere few days and the fact that he came over just to get away from the noises that his roommates made, but you felt close enough to form a good friendship and you felt grateful that he had chosen you. You would be lying to yourself if you said he wasn't pretty and as much as you didn't want to acknowledge the obvious... he was really attractive.

There was just something about him that spiked an interest in you and you really didn't understand why, nor did you want to figure it out.

Truth be told, you haven't looked at someone or thought about someone in such a way since your breakup with Eric. You have been put off the idea of boys for months, wanting nothing to do with them romantically or sexually. The only boys you allowed in your life were the ones that you were friends with now, even though Yangyang tries so desperately hard to get into your pants for a quick fuck, which you joke about constantly, but it will never happen.

To put it bluntly, you refused to let any other male waltz into your life, even if it wasn't for a romantic purpose, you like to keep your friendships small. But then you met Jaemin, a guy you had heard so much yet so little about, and you suddenly had room for him in your life.

Na fucking Jaemin.

You almost snort at how stupid you sound, wanting to whack some sense into your head. You peel your eyes away from the boy to focus on your food, completely missing the look Jaemin has been giving you the entire time.

"Thank you for letting me come over" Jaemin thanks you, helping you clean up and package the left over food that you couldn't eat into containers while you wash up, letting the utensils soak in the soapy water. You join each other back at the kitchen island and Jaemin reaches for the cola bottle, pouring the beverage into separate cups. "I didn't really want to bother you but I was serious when I said that you were my only option..."

"It's fine" You shrug your shoulders with a smile. "It was getting pretty boring by myself anyway..."

"I actually didn't expect them to come back to the house. I know that they usually end up back here whenever they go out somewhere" Jaemin tells you as he takes a quick sip of his drink. "I don't think Renjun or Jeno remembered that I was still home... they were too interested in getting their ends wet to worry about their poor friend who was getting scarred in the room next to them"

You cover your mouth to stifle the laugh that threatens to escape and Jaemin grins at your reaction, taking another sip of his drink.

"Play your music loud or invest in some earphones" You say. "They work wonders for me whenever the boys stay the night"

"No earphones or no music can cancel out the disgusting noises I heard from them tonight" Jaemin's face scrunches in pure disgust, shivering as he recalls what happened and you fail to hold back your laugh, almost tipping out of your seat as you struggle to control your movements once you erupt into a fit of laughter.

Jaemin laughs along with you, pressing the palm of his hand flat against your back to make sure you don't fall backwards and hurt yourself. He takes your drink out of your hands before you have a chance to spill it everywhere, watching with a grin as you wipe the tears from your eyes.

"It's hilarious because I know exactly what you mean" Your laughter turns into small giggles. "They're loud for no reason... I genuinely think that they try to compete against each other to see who can be the loudest sometimes"

"That wouldn't surprise me" Jaemin grins, his hand slipping from your back to run his fingers through his hair, leaning back in his chair. "You know, this is going to sound really weird, but I thought you and Yangyang were dating... obviously I found out that wasn't true when you stayed the night with me and they teased you about it"

You cringe as you remember that morning. "Yeah, no. We're not dating. A lot of people actually believe that we are too, especially the girls that sleep with him and then come to me to tell me that my 'boyfriend' had slept with them... what gave you the impression that we were together?"

"He talks about you a lot" Jaemin shrugs his shoulders. "Donghyuck does too but I know he's interested in that Aisha from his class... plus, during the party, I saw you sat on Yang's lap before I disappeared into the kitchen"

"Oh, that's nothing" You dismiss it with a shake of your hand before taking a drink. "We do that all the time, it's normal. I've sat on Donghyuck and Shotaro's laps before, it's means nothing whatsoever"

Jaemin quirks a brow. "You know that Yangyang wants to sleep with you, right?"

"Yep" You nod. "It's not going to happen and he knows that but that doesn't stop him from teasing or making jokes about it... Haru is the one that shuts it down whenever it gets too much"

"Would it be different if he wanted to date you?"

"No" Jaemin seems surprised at your quick answer. "I just... I'm not interested in dating or being in a serious relationship, you know? I'm not really ready to get into a relationship with anyone... the last relationship I had was with Eric and that didn't exactly turn out great on my end"

"What happened between you both?" Jaemin asks softly, eyes filling with concern. "I could tell something was off during the party... you looked uncomfortable"

"It's a long story" You whisper, sending Jaemin a apologetic smile. "Maybe another time, okay?"

Jaemin nods his head, respecting your decision of keeping private a little while longer about Eric. Jaemin knows who Eric is, having seen him at his house a few times during the parties as he's one of Jeno's acquaintances. He figures that whatever happened between you and Eric must've ended badly considering Jeno no longer involves himself in Eric's business, and how the other boys ignore his presence whenever he's around unless they use him and his friend, Sunwoo, for drugs or alcohol.

He feels bad for you and for some reason, he wishes that he could make you feel better about the situation, but he has no idea how to comfort you considering he's going through his own breakup process and heartbreak that comes with it.

Jaemin pushes his own feelings to the side as a thought pops into his head, brows scrunching in concentration as he tries to think how to bring it up to you without possibly offending you.

"Why don't—wait, no, I mean, how come you wont sleep with Yangyang if all he wants is just sex?" The confused look you give Jaemin allows him to continue. "What I'm trying to say is, you don't want a relationship with anyone because you're not ready, which is fine, but all Yangyang wants to do is just sleep with you... how come you're against having sex with him?"

"Ohh..." You mutter, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. You couldn't believe how much you're going to open up to this guy. "Well, um... I haven't had sex in like, three months, and during that time period I've been telling the girls that I don't want to hook-up with anyone and I guess I would just feel embarrassed if I ended up sleeping with someone after trying to convince them that I don't need anyone and that I'm not interested"

"Convince?" Jaemin repeats, giving you a look. "So... you do want to have sex?"

"I... don't know?" The blank look Jaemin gives you makes you face even hotter than it already is and you groan, looking down at your fingers to avoid is gaze. "Okay, look. I do miss it. I miss having sex. I miss the feeling of having someone's hands touch my body. I miss the feeling of being kissed. I miss the feeling of when I'm about to... you get what I mean, right? But the thing is, I'm stuck... I'm not ready to date anybody and I definitely don't want to sleep with my friends, it'll make things weird"

Jaemin is silent for awhile as he takes your words in while you cringe at yourself for being so open and honest in front of him. How come you're being so vulnerable to him right now? You push yourself up from your chair with your cup in hand, feeling stuffy and claustrophobic beneath his stare.

You busy yourself by emptying the cup and dipping it inside the bowl, cleaning the glass and placing it on the draining board just in time to hear Jaemin's chair scrape across the floorboard as he stands.

"What if you were able to sleep with someone without having to worry about getting into a relationship or ruining a friendship?"

His words make you turn your head, brows knitting together. "Huh?"

Jaemin leans on his elbows on the counter beside you as he starts to explain, licking his lips. "I mean, if you could have sex and do all that stuff that you miss so much without having to get into a relationship or ruin a friendship, would you do it?"

"If you're talking about one-night stands, I don't do them" You tell him. "I'm not going to sleep with a random guy"

"I'm not talking about one-night stands" He shakes his head with a small smile, scratching the back of his neck as he becomes deep in thought, tongue prodding at his cheek as he thinks about his next words. "What if someone you know was willing to help you out with all that... stuff?"

"Like a friend?" Your brows knit together and you frown. "Like a friends with benefits? But I said—"

"But that friend would also be down for it too... as in, he doesn't want a relationship out of it, he just wants the stuff that you want"

You think about it for a brief moment, pursing your lips as your brain overflows with various possibilities and weighing out the pros and cons that comes with having a friends with benefits relationship with someone.

You really couldn't sleep with any of your single friends, knowing that there would be a constant fear of ruining a good friendship swimming in the back of your mind

To be honest, there wasn't anyone in your friendship group that you would sleep with. The image of Yangyang appears in your mind and you pull a face.

"No. I can't have sex with my friends" You admit, shaking your head quickly. "I've been friends with those guys for years and I don't want to risk anything... Donghyuck and Yangyang—"

"I wasn't talking about them"

You pause for a moment until your eyes almost bulge out of your head. "SHOTARO?!?! No way!! I couldn't!! He's crushing hard on Yeji and—"

"Not him either"

You frown. "Umm... Jeno and Renjun are dating my best frie—"

"I'm talking about me" Jaemin cuts you off again and you mouth instantly shuts in shock, struggling to find your voice as you stare at him with wide eyes. He rests his chin on the palm of his hand as he stares back, calm and collected. "You can do all that stuff that you miss with me. We basically just met so there's no worries about ruining a friendship with me and besides, as much as I hate to bring it up, I'm also in the same position as you. My own relationship ended a few months back and I'm not ready for another... but I do miss the sex"

You still couldn't find your voice, opting to continue staring at him in shock, finding it hard to grasp onto the fact that those words came out of his mouth without a second thought or any hesitations.

He's serious about this, you gulp, unable to tear your eyes away from his nonchalant form. The way he's leaning up against the counter waiting patiently for your response, looking down and fiddling with the rings on his fingers every so often makes you feel nervous and on edge, until he looks up at you.

Once you take a good look into his eyes, you feel the walls that you had built start to crumble, allowing a bright light to seep through the cracks and you knew your guard was being dropped.

As if he could sense what was happening, Jaemin smiles softly at you, reaching up to adjust his glasses that were slipping down the bridge of his nose and you exhale deeply, nodding your head as soon as your guard was down completely, allowing yourself to relax into his touch as his fingers reach out to you.

The pads of his fingers dance over the skin of your arms, seemingly comforting your nerves despite your heart racing and the goosebumps that rise to your skin. You steady your breathing, your thoughts rushing through your head a hundred miles per second at the feeling of his touch on your skin.

You hated it, but it reminded you of Eric. How delicately he had touched you and how it made you feel but you scold yourself quickly, the image of Eric in your head slowly being replaced with Jaemin as his next words grab your attention.

"So..." Jaemin licks his lips as he stares at your own. "Can I kiss you?"

You're taken back by his bold question, eyes widening in surprise while he looks at you as if he didn't just ask such a forward question. You could hear your heartbeat thumping in your ears and your palms are sweaty, you hoped and prayed that Jaemin couldn't see the nervous wreck he created within you.

He continues looking at you as he awaits your approval and you instantly feel shy, looking down as you nod your head slowly.

"Okay" The second you whisper your response, Jaemin angles his head so he can push his lips to yours with ease. He taste like cherry lip balm and fried chicken, a combination that you would've thought that would never go well together but you're addicted and yearning for more, fingers gripping at his shirt so he doesn't slip away.

You both part for air, panting heavily as you look at each other in shock and anticipation, your heart racing under his intense stare but a smile slips onto your lips as you realise there is no awkwardness between you both. Jaemin grins back once the realisation hits him too before he searches for your lips again, pressing his mouth hard against yours.

It doesn't take long for Jaemin's hands to grip your ass as he hoists you up, setting you down on the kitchen counter without breaking the kiss. You wrap your legs around his waist to keep him as close to your body as possible while your arms circle around his shoulders and he holds your face in his hands.

A groan rumbles deep in his chest as your fingernails rake through his scalp and tug at the hairs on the nape of his neck. His tongue tangles with yours as his hands move to your hips, fingers pushing the hem of your shirt upwards to make contact with your skin.

He gently squeezes the flesh of your sides as the kiss deepens and your legs trap Jaemin between your thighs. You let out a gasp as you feel something hard press against your stomach.

"Shit, sorry" He apologises with a whisper as he realises what's happening, trying to angle his dick away from you the best he can. "I haven't done this in awhile..."

"It's okay" You reassure him, tugging him back to his original position and biting back a desperate whine as the action causes him to press against your core. His eyes are almost black as they lock onto yours, completely blown out. "I liked it"

"Liked it?" Jaemin repeats, raising a brow smugly and you nod your head, eager to press your lips back to his but you pause as his hands slowly slip from your hips. Your breath catches at the back of your throat as you watch him fiddle with the strings of his sweatpants to untie them, his gaze remaining on you to see if you were showing any signs of discomfort or doubt.

Giving him the green light, he reaches for one of your hands that rest on his shoulders, guiding it to the top of his sweatpants before pushing your hand beneath the waistband, pressing your palm flat against his bulge. Your eyes widen in surprise at the size while his mouth drops open, letting out a small grunt at the pressure you're putting against his confined cock.

Jaemin loosens his grip on your hand, allowing you to do as you please and you gently massage your fingers over his bulge while capturing his lips in a rushed and messy kiss. He gasps in your mouth when your finger grazes the head of his cock, his own fingers crawling up your thighs and gripping the waistband of your pants to help slip his hand inside until you hear the passcode for the door being pushed in.

"WE'RE HOME!!!"

You and Jaemin rip away from each other as quick as you possibly can once you hear Miwoo's voice, a wave of panic washing over you at the thought of being caught in such a lewd act.

Jaemin moves to sit calmly at the kitchen island, adjusting himself while you rush to slide off of the counter to fix your appearance just in time for your roommates to appear in the doorway.

Miwoo is the first to notice Jaemin sitting down when Haru walks towards you with her hands outstretched, shaking a bag that she holds tightly in front of your face and you take it from her, scanning her '𝕄𝕀𝕊𝔽𝕀𝕋' company logo sketched on the bag before peering your head inside to see the limited addition Shinee vinyl that Renjun teased you about earlier.

A wide smile spreads across your face and you wrap Haru in a hug to thank her gratefully but you slowly move away and the smile slips off your face as you see Miwoo pointing at Jaemin in confusion.

"Am I the only one seeing this shit? Can none of you see this? What the fuck?" Miwoo rambles as she eyes Jaemin who stares blankly at her. "Hello?!"

"Oh, hey Jaemin" Haru greets him normally once she notices him and he lifts his hand in a short wave, not taking his eyes off of Miwoo who now seems to be holding a staring contest despite the confusion that remains on her face. "I didn't know you guys were hanging out tonight..."

"Well, I wasn't going to stay home and listen to you guys get railed in the bedrooms next door" He smiles sarcastically and then turns to point at Miwoo. "You sounded like you were getting brutally murdered, like a dying cat, if you will"

Miwoo blinks in shock, losing the staring contest that she only seemed to be apart of. Her nose scrunches up at Jaemin, giving him a look. "I sound pretty, thank you very much"

"Pretty scary" Jaemin adds, sending her a wide smile while she bubbles in anger and annoyance. You fight back the urge to sigh and tut at her behaviour, realising that she's letting another person get under her skin despite promising you and Haru that she would work on her anger issues. What a lie.

Haru nudges Miwoo's arm in warning and she immediately straightens up, raising her head high.

"You're just jealous—" Miwoo huffs and Jaemin's raises his brow in question. "—jealous that I'm getting some action while you struggle getting some one and one time with a girl who is willing to touch your penis"

Jaemin's eyes flicker over to you for a brief second and your cheeks grow warm, suddenly finding interest in your sock covered feet. Jaemin fights back a grin as he turns to look at Miwoo and holds his hands up in mock defeat.

"Damn. You got me"

Miwoo becomes smug at that, flicking her hair over her shoulder and spins on her heel to face you, practically skipping over in your direction and loops her arm with your own, jutting out her bottom lip. "I'm really sorry but I forgot to buy you one of those charcoal burgers I promised to get you..."

"It's okay, I already ate"

"I'll take you after class one day? A treat for my favourite girl" Miwoo coos, her free hand reaching up to smooth your head. You snort, pushing her away even though the grip she has on your arm is tight and unmoving.

Jaemin stares at the two of you in amusement, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he watches you try to fight your way out of Miwoo's grip with a smile on your face.

Haru notices the lingering look. She is always the first to notice. She notices everything, sometimes it's by accident. Jaemin catches Haru's gaze when he turns his head and gives her a smile, not even bothered about being caught staring which Haru found interesting, pressing her lips together tightly in deep thought.

"Okay, I'm gonna go shower and take a few photos" Miwoo announces as she finally lets you escape from her hold. "Jeno said he likes the showerhead ones and the soapy tits"

"Please, for the love of god, clean up after yourself! Last time you left soap all over the floor and I almost saw Jesus" Haru tells Miwoo who starts to laugh but Haru is quick to smack the back of her head in warning as she walks by. Miwoo shuts the bathroom door behind herself and your attention drifts to Jaemin as Haru speaks again. "I'm probably going to go to bed, so you guys can just chill here if you want"

"I should get going actually"

"You can stay, if you want" Haru offers, stopping to stand in the hallway to point at the living room. "Crash on the sofa or something, you can just leave in the morning"

"It's fine" Jaemin dismisses with a shake of his head. "I have an early class anyways"

"Suit yourself" And with that, she leaves the two of you standing alone in the kitchen. Silence fills the air between you both and you glance at Jaemin, pressing your lips tightly together to try and stop yourself from laughing at the awkward encounter you just had.

Jaemin doesn't try to hide his smile while he stands from the kitchen island to collect his belongings, pulling his hoodie that he had taken off previously over his head and shoving his phone into his pocket.

"You can stay, you know" You speak softly, fiddling with your fingers nervously. "You don't have to sleep on the sofa, you can take my bed... it's only fair considering I slept in yours"

"I would stay but I was serious about having an early class" Jaemin admits with a smile and you nod in understanding, feeling a little defeated. Noticing the change in your expression, Jaemin steps forward so his chest is barely pressed against yours. His lips graze your own and your breath stutters at the sudden closeness. "I wanna stay... so. fucking. bad"

The way he whispers those last words sends shivers down your spine and you want to say something, anything, but it's useless when his lips mould with yours, his tongue finding its way inside your mouth and playing with your own. You grip the material of his hoodie to bring him as close to you as possible but he pulls back before it could get too far, glancing over your shoulder just as the bathroom door opens and Miwoo's giggles are heard as Jeno's voice shouts from the speakers of her phone, commenting on how sexy she is.

Jaemin meets your gaze once more, his left eye dropping into a wink as he slips out of your apartment. You let out a shaky breath, turning around and leaning against the front door in shock, eyes almost bulging out of your head.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?