#this one wasnt even going to be that gay
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He really said no more writing gay fanfiction tonight

#james you dont UNDERSTAND#this one wasnt even going to be that gay#its letters from harley to his mama as he adjusts to living away from home seasonal depression and meeting a cute nerd#it was mostly me writing about my own shit through three layers of deflection#who said that#anyway#been feeling far from myself again#jimothy
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it's the combination of racism (wanting to believe that a mexican man is more deeply entrenched in machismo than he's ever been shown to be on screen) and the projected misogyny (they don't like the women so they can't fathom their blorbos liking the women in any capacity) but you didn't hear it from me

#i could kiss you#its like#im not even negating the idea that eddie might be gay#but the idea that an eddie who believes he is straight dating women he initially thought were interesting#but inherently wasnt able to fall in love with because they arent right and Eddie treats dating as a performance so he never fully opens up#and then he ends up in less than great relationships he is just floating through#is not insane#is not like hes going around dating every available woman hoping one will stick and he will have a wife#hes literally dating like a normal person#he meets these people hes interested he asks them out the relationship doesn't progress but he waits because maybe it will#2 women in 5 years cant possibly equate to eddie desperately trying to get a mother for chris#911#i really need a tag for asks#anon 😌
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Kimona doodles!
I enjoy both versions, so I figured, why not?
#(i wasnt going back to the lineart to fix minor changes that happened though lol)#spto#sp comic#spvtw#kimona#kim pine#ramona flowers#ship stuff#scott pilgrim takes off#scott pilgrim comic#scott pilgrim fanart#spto fanart#art#fanart#ms paint#and once again Good Morning Gay People#maybe dont expect more art tomorrow though i am going to try and dedicate time to a fic that was Requested of me#(we are sitting at a little over 1800 words rn and i havent even brought in one of the main *intended* ship characters lol)#(i mean it's already Very Shippy but Kimona isn't quite the point of this one. not supposed to be anyway. I can't help myself though)
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one of my only surviving memories of one of the churches my parents tried when i was a teenager, the pastor spent like half the sermon ranting and raving and yelling about the blasphemic lady gaga and how she had recently sang "god bless the u.s.GAY" during her performance of the national anthem at like the superbowl or whatever and they unfurled a gay flag instead of an american flag or something and about how it was SO DISRESPECTFUL to GOD and our TROOPS and that gay people should be ASHAMED for this and how lady gaga must be the devil's attempt to influence OUR INNOCENT CHILDREN into doing EVIL. like turning them gay i guess. or something
#i then proceeded to instinctively tune out every thing else about that church so this is really the only one thing i remember about it#i dont think wr went there too long thankfully maybe like a month or two at most#i dont even remember what that church's particular stance on Gay even was . tbh#i was literally so incensed my brain decided to focus entirely on the lady gaga thing because i was just like#'yeah i do not need to be hearing whatever words this guy is about to start saying about gay people'#my parents felt like 'love the sinner not the sin' types when i was growing up so i always wonder what they thought about that sermon#because we really didnt go there anymore pretty soon after that. but also like i said my parents were also actively churchhopping#i always assumed growing up my parents probably just agreed 100% with whatever a pastor says (because thats how they were at#our family church before the pastor they liked retired)#but im really only now as an adult wondering if my mom or dad picked up on *something* at the time.#whether it was me being probably visibly uncomfortable or how angrily the pastor spat his venom#or how the congregation eagerly took in every word. nodding and muttering 'thats right' under their breath and clapping for the hatred show#at least the pastor i grew up listening to really did focus on spreading messages of love and compassion.#again. more of the 'love the sinner hate the sin' type congregation. a bit 'dont ask dont tell'#on the bright side i wasnt directly exposed to homo/transphobic violence at that age. on the other side i didnt know#that being gay or trans was a thing you could even be until i was in 10th grade#i learned about being trans and i was like ohhhhh okay. hey parents can you call me this shortened masc version of my name. dont ask why
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sorry mild hater moment incoming but . idk what it is with s/onadow fans (not all of them. just a very loud subsection) specifically and making every little thing shadow does about s/onadow even if its the biggest reach imaginable and immediately going "omg s/onadow" every time hes confirmed to be in some upcoming thing . or being so obsessed with the ship and letting it warp their perceptions of things so much to the point where they act like every little thing is a hint from sega that theyre in love for real. and they cant admit that its not canon or that just because they choose to interpret certain things romantically doesnt mean that thats actually what sega/the writers intended even if theres an obvious non so/nadow explanation for it
before people take this the wrong way i dont hate the ship i dont think that its completely baseless or that everyone who likes it is wrong and annoying or anything . but some of you look like this if im being honest

#and this isnt all s/onadow exclusive problems for example amy cant be in anything without people making it about so/namy#which is just as annoying. but on tumblr i see the most of this sort of thing from so/nadow fans#and when it comes to gay pairings specifically its ONLY so/nadow i see people act this way over#for example. and im NOT trying to argue over which pairing is better this is just an example.#son/knux is probably the second most popular gay ship involving sonic#and if we're talking the franchise as a whole not just sonic prime. sonic and knuckles interact more than sonic and shadow#and they also have a lot of moments like knuckles blushing over sonic touching his shoulder or sonic bridal carrying him or whatever#but i dont see people try to argue that theyre canon because of any of those moments.#or try to make everything knuckles does about so/nknux even if its a massive reach#(AGAIN im not trying to argue over which is better i was just giving an example. before people misinterpret that)#so what is it about sonic and shadow that makes people do this . do they just not care about sonic and/or shadow outside of the ship ?#are they only into sonic for so/nadow and nothing else ?? hello what is going On here#people will be like ''so/nadow fans are being fed so good'' and theres a 60 percent chance the food is just them standing near eachother#like ive literally seen people take certain sonic moments or shadow art or whatever that have Nothing to do with the other character#and couldnt reasonably be made about them . but still somehow find a way to make it about that anyway#and then go on to unironically use the stuff that they literally made up as proof that its canon#ive also seen people just spread blatantly false information as evidence the ship is canon#like hello. what are we doing#whatever happened to just liking a non canon ship and being able to admit that its not canon but still have fun with it anyway#this wasnt prompted by any one specific person/post btw just a pattern of behavior ive noticed
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#SPEAKING OF BAD KH FANS SAYING WE JUST WANT TO SEE SORIKU BANG#if JT wasnt garbage i would post the clip of him going 'ooooOOOOHHHHhhh' from hercules games#for context: in the second comment theyre referring to a previous one of mine#where i said how i dislike being labeled a yaoi fangirl for shipping soriku#and in the third the 'deviance' theyre speaking of is another of mine where i said some ppl interpret xion being a girl#as sora having gender envy towards kairi#(deviance is a word i see thrown around a LOT by transphobes/homophobes)#i havent bothered to reply bc its just not worth it to try and argue with these ppl but like#1. mention of light tunnel in kh3 with 'definition of romantic love' despite showing elsa and anna#2. 'there is no gay in kh' aka just straight up ignoring strelitzias canon crush on the khux player regardless of gender#anyway. i contemplated just sending the ram ranch copypasta in response#but decided against it. at least for now#this isnt even on the soriku comp btw#this is on the video 'dont worry kh3 is still gay' lol#oh uh minor tw for aku/roku mention
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RRRRRRRRAHHHHH VIVIYAKOU........ VIVIYAKOU SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.................... SAVE ME VIVIYAKOU..............
#blaire.txt#i'll be super honest i wasnt even a viviyakou shipper until recently.#you see im kin with vivia . and i had a HUGE fucking kinshift to him recently so naturally ive been Normal#anyways so. yeah i thought i wasnt a romantic/queerplatonic viviyakou fan until recently i got a kin memory. my first ever one.#that confirmed that yes actually i (vivia) was in love with him. queerplatonically or romantically idk but#yeah. therefore i have realized... yeah i (vivia) never saw him as a father figure at all LMFAO#in my canon at least#so therefore it is... uncomfortable to keep the headcanon i had that was familial viviyakou because while cute and i understand its also .#that just wasnt what happened. lol so now ive stopped and i realized. yeah qp/romantic viviyakou... beloved........#anyways yeah im normal about the doomed gays. what about it.#(RAHHHHHHHHH RAHHHHHH CRIES FOREVER)#they make me so sick im going to be ill . but also wholesome viviyakou content......... ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#i need to make them in the sims. i need to make us in the sims and i need us to KISS#bring in yakou's wife (i've been calling her Riley... not sure if that's a kin memory or not its just the first thing i thought of)#polyamory win. i would never split them up they're so good#anyways ummmmmm dont look at me. for kin posting on main. im being so vulnerable here but GODDDDDD MY HUSBAND#MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND
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oh so they're probably gonna remove the huntessally ship tease. oh
#im so fucking mad at this show#POLYBAIT#ANYONE WITH EIYHER EYES AND/OR EARS COULD TELL WHAT THEY WERE GOING FOR#AND THEY JUST. CHOSE TO NOT GO WITH IT?#IN MOST CASES I WOULDNT CARE BUT. THIS IS DISVENTURE CAMP. HALF THE CHARACTERS ARE CANONICALLY GAY TRANS BI LESBIAN ETC U NAME IT#THEY HAVE NO CENSORSHIP EXCUSES OR WHATEVR#IM NOT EVEN POLYAM MYSELF BUT FUCK MAN IM MAD#this is abt the rewriting of s2 btw#im sure theyll bring cool stuff liekkk changing the jaiden kiss (HOPEFULLY) or um maybe revamp thay whole episode entirely actually.#but one of the chanhes brought up was “making the seasons canon be more in line with dc all stars' which probably means erasing the huntessa#lly ship tease.#ugh i wouldnt be mad if they just never implied it in the first placr#like itd be ok for them to be friends if it wasnt IMPLIED TO NOT BE THE CASE EARLIER
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Every day, I wish and hope that I'll wake up and be in the 1920's. Not because everything was better back then, but just because things were more alive back then. Or at least, it feels that way.
You look at some dance routines today, and there is most definitely talent on display, sure, but then you go and watch someone like Gene Kelly or especially The Nicolas Brothers dance and you're left sitting there like, "...what happened? Why don't we do this anymore?"
Music performances too. There are truly some talented people doing amazing stuff today, but it just doesn't feel as vibrant and alive as watching a big jazz band improv with each other in front of a crowd.
Singers weren't trying to sell, they were just, well, singing. There was more flexibility in vocal performance from what I can tell, and honestly this one warrants its own post.
Tap dance is considered stupid largely by non-dancers, when it's actually REALLY HARD and fully of such joy and whimsy. You're a musical instrument and dancing at the same time! What's not to love? Not to mention, the physical toll that takes on a person. Insane.
The only dance I was taught as a kid was the slow dance. If I wanted to learn anything else, my parents said no, unless it was ballet, but I was never interested in that personally. Now, I look back on things like the Charleston or the Lindy Hop and I just wanna learn how to move like that; to let go and be in the moment. I don't know how, and none of the adults in my life can tell me, either.
The movies back then were so creative and grand, considering the budget and scale they were allowed to work with. Stuff like Robin Hood or Metropolis are absolutely jaw-dropping, and yes, we could make that today, but it'd be with CGI or super realism, when a huge part of the charm came from the use of miniatures and spot-on performances and choreography.
Listen. We still have all of these today. Even tap dancing is still around, even if it's largely (wrongfully) considered silly by many. But it just doesn't feel the same. I'm not sure how to put it into words. The 1920's was where our modern times were really born, I think, with inventions like the camera, the radio, animation, jazz, ect all coming together in this decade to launch new art forms, entertainment, and way of life. They weren't called "The Roaring 20s" for nothing.
I wanna live in that so bad.
#i know i know rose tinted glasses#back then it was harder to be trans gay or anything but white but fuck man#i just wanna experience it. i want one day to just *be*#also yes i know the camera was invented in the late 1800s shut up#also it wasnt einstein he stole it from a frenchman and i can prove it#i cant but it's pretty hard to deny#fuck einstein btw gfhjsadk#idk if its just the cartoon character in me or what but the '20s really feel like... home. i guess that's a good word for it#it's 3:30 am maybe i just need to go to bed and i'll regret this post in the morning but right now i dont even care#dimond speaks
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why am i seeing some emmrichmancers referring to rook in general by she/her,,, like, it's not THEIR rook, it's just them using fem words for all rooks.
besties, did we forget all the companions are pan or,,,???
#i hope that makes sense??#it felt like they were just assuming everybody that romanced him is a woman essentially#it wasnt even like fanart with a fem rook#it was a screenshot and gif of him walking that everyone shares#like wdym 'his wife'#my rook is male???#and this ISNT a case of 'oh just a post for fem rook emmrichmancers'#it was just a post of people thirsting over emmrich#like wdym she/her and wife#me and my rook are trans men bestie#i hate when a romanceable character is bi or pan and just gets shoved into the gay or straight label instead#like WDYMMMM#THEY LITERALLY STATED THEIR SEXUALITY STOP GIVING THEM A NEW ONE#and saying how he defends his wife and i was like HUH?#WHAT WIFE#MY ROOK ISNT A WOMAN???#AND ALMOST EVERY POST THAT SHOWN THE PERSONS ROOK WAS AUTOMATICALLY ASSUMED TO BE FEMALE???!?!?!?!?#LIKE FDIUGBFIDUGBFD#WGHAT#in fact i saw TWO SEPARATE POSTS ONE AFTER THE OTHER of the comments assuaming everyone is a woman aughhhhhhhhgfhgfhfg#why cant fandoms be normal and stop forcing bi and pan characters to either be gay or straight#and on the flip side can we stop assuming that bi and pan characters can never have preferences#no discourse#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#sorry this is going into the main game tag but not emmrich's main tag lmfao#dragon age#kwyoz.txt#kwyoz.rants#kwyoz.rambles
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i dont even want a dick i just wish i was born withone so people would stop seeing me as a girl
#im making a list of things i need to do to transition and tell me why learning to fish and hunt are at the top of that list#idk guys im tired of being percieved as a trans man i wish i was just seen as a man#whats awful is i catch myself sometimes misgendering myself because i convince myself i deserve it#if i got bottom surgery would this stop.would this cruel sick joke stop#ry talks#i should go backt ophysical journaling so you guys dont have to see this#soemtimes i wish i wasnt trans. and coming from me thats crazy im number one trans enjoyer over here#would it save me this weight in my chest? i dont know#i couldnt be cis i know that even if i had a dick but maybe this would all stop#im tired of the looks when i leave the bathroom im tired of being feminized when people interact with me#im tired of being grouped with the girls#i tell myself im grouped with girsl because im gay and im just fem cause im gay and id ont know#i cant explain it correctly but i always feel like im treated like a girl even by my friends#they cant help it itsn ot their fault and its nothing obvious too that they could change.#its partially my fault cause i havent learned the correct social cues that guysdo.i dont know how to dap someone up i dont know the correct#response to “whats good man” i dont know any of this. im so new here im so lost i just want to be treated like a boy. im a boy im a boy im#im a fucking boy please#maybe a mustache would fucking fix all this#maybe i need to learn to be a boy#im so tired i wish someone could teach me the things that boys do cause i know i am one i just dont know my fucking lines
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sooooo fucked up that eddie and buck are not kissing rn. instead they have to go through more horrors. and they dont even have the option to kiss each other to make it better. fr praying for them. you will be kissing soon kings!!!
#eddies gonna be challenging his parents to a duel soon#maddies about to be kidnapped and bucks gonna be going through It#so fucked up that they are separating them#dont they (the writers) know that buck and eddie are a Set and should not be seperated????#ig not cuz they sending eddies gay ass back to texas#guys i am going insane during this hiatus#i cannot wait any longer#they should start airing tomorrow just to preserve my sanity#youre telling me i gotta wait till MARCH to find out wtf is happening on this show????#noooooooooooo#this hiatus is so painful#pls bts content save me#pls bts ryliver save me you can get me through this hiatus pls pls pls#anyway buddie canon 2025#it is their year#eddies gonna get halfway through the process of moving to texas and buck is gonna be there every step of the way and hes gonna realize that#oh. oh okay i have everything ive ever wanted here in la. besides my son. i need to go get him instead of uplifting my life#pls eddie#pls pls pls#tim im begging you pls dont make eddie throw away the life he has in la. pls pls pls make him be like. okay enough is enough. give me my so#pleeeeeeeeaaaaase#no one is gonna survive eddie moving to el paso (especially not buck)#this is so fucked up why did you do this to eddie#he escaped el paso. he escaped his parents. only to be brought back to them. what the actual fuck#eddie diaz pls fight your parents pls pls pls pls i want to see him yelling at them. screaming. fighting them.#he is a good father. he is such a good dad. its so fucked up hes being questioned about that when thats ALL weve seen from him#ig apart from the kim sit but that wasnt even really his fault (eddie diaz can do no wrong in my eyes)#anyway#i think eddie and buck would be doing a lot better overall if they were able to kiss each other#but nooooooooo
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i think Simon is the kinda guy who doesnt cuss much. so like when he Does cuss it gets everyone's attention
#or at least if he's cussing most of the time he's doing it in asl so anyone who doesnt know it/isnt paying attention wont notice#he doesnt cuss Out Loud that often#anyway a lil bit of Gutsfics Lore: i was raised. somewhat mormon? mormon enough to not like saying Bad Words while we were still members#anyway when i was in like 4th grade i think we Really started to pull away from the church bc my dad being gay. thats not the important par#but like since i was realising that parts of the church were bs (bc a bunch of people just suddenly flipped on us bc of my dad)#i thought hey maybe the church is Wrong about a lot of things. maybe i WONT go to Hell if i say ass instead of butt#so like one day at lunch we were talking about something idr what but i think i called it like “shit” or something#not even one of the worst cuss words. but EVERYONE at the the table went quiet for a few seconds b4 being like#“HOLY FUCK THE JESUS GIRL SAID SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”#it was awesome :]#i meaaaaan. technically that wasnt the first time i cussed bc i once jokingly said that something was “from hell”#& defended that by saying i was using it the way its used in the bible#the mormon friend i said it to Did get mad at me though#anyway there is ABSOLUTELY a moment where the first time Si drops a Fuck Bomb everyone stops and goes “wtffffffff”#it happens during Ace arc he tells Asher to Shut The Fuck Up when he resigns from the comittee <3
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I got hatecrimed at an event called ‘rhinestone rodeo hoedown’, which first of all that should be a gay event i mean look at that name, but second of all its been a few hours now and all i feel is indignant. Like, that is my space. I am the country fan. What are you doing making me feel unwelcome at an event called rhinestone rodeo hoedown??
#that event should be for the gay#but even if it wasnt it definitely was for the country fans#and I _know_ i was a bigger country fan than all those bros#i know objectively that’s not _why_ i shouldn’t be hatecrimed#like no one should be hatecrimed#but im queer and trans out in public#but at a COUNTRY EVENT#??!!!#no#also it was during a taylor swift song#and i just know that im going to be unreasonable about this for a while#something something the enabling effect of tswift on the straights (not a reasonable complaint#she isnt accountable for that#and yet)#… i mean i guess at least they didnt ruin the experience of one of my more beloved songs for me#personal#fine to like pls dont rb
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I saw the most GORGEOUS girl today so probably gonna live off that high for the next week
#Shewassohotohmygodyoudontevenunderstand#i was trying so so hard not to stare at her when she walking by cause she was waitress at a mexican place while i waiting for my food so sh#was just trying to do her job and i didnt want her to notice and make her uncomfy#but omg it was so hard cause when she was in the room she was the only one in the room#she was so pretty and it just seemed so effortless#im genuinely so sad that i will never see her again i am not a eat in girly im a order in girly#so the fact that i was even in there today was a rare situation but i gotta find another reason to go there again cuz lord#and not to brag or anything buuuut i was there with my family and its not i was the one talking to them giving them the togo order#but she was one who brought our food out and she did hand the bags of food directly to me in the middle so im pretty sure she like me too s#or she was just handing it to the group and she wasnt really paying attention who she handed to cause she did turn her head when she did it#probably that one#oh and i fear i made waaaaayyy to much eye contact by pure accident i also accidently raised my chin at her#so she mightve picked up on my vibe but idk i want to say she was also making alot of eye contact with me but likely she was just bopping#around doing her job and just happened to catch my eyes a couple of times i mean it wasnt the biggest place but also not the smallest and#not busy at all so i can see why she would catch my eyes a couple times cuz i feel like if it was busy she wouldnt have time for her eyes t#wander you know#if you read all this i hate you this is my diary wtf are you doing here lol but can you tell im obsessed?#lgbtq#queer#birthday made tbh#Lgbtq+#gay#pride
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actually wait that poll unlocked a fuckin memory and i feel like talking about it so‼️
( not tmi or anything but in case this gets long or you don't wanna read it im putting a page break here LMAO )
ok so on my 18th birthday, my grandparents REALLY wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. i didnt really wanna, but i got to dress up so i said fuck it. this was around when debates over trans women in sports were first brought to the mainstream ( as far i know ) right. so we're sitting there in the restaurant, im eating my cake, and my grandfather starts going off about how they're letting men compete against women and how unfair it is and shit. WHILE WE'RE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY. IN FRONT OF ME. THEIR GNC GRANDCHILD. WHO REFERS TO HIMSELF WITH MASCULINE TERMS EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM. LOUDLY. it's been two years and i STILL can't believe the audacity. like YOU invited ME out to dinner and start talking that shit?? if they weren't family and we weren't in public i would have told em to shut the fuck up
#they STILL talk about this stuff at family gatherings too apparently#i always keep to myself til we leave but my ma has told me they complain about people demanding you use the right pronouns or whatever#and god bless her soul she tried to be like 'actually its not that hard even if you cant tell because you shouldn't assume' and#'if they tell you how to refer to them its just basic human decency to respect that'#no clue how they took it since i wasnt there but they just ended the conversation after that 😭😭#god dont even get me started on my uncle#hes awful and clearly mentally unwell and obviously really old#we have a family friend who had two moms right. they never tried to hide it and didnt really acknowledge it as anything weird. bc it wasnt.#my uncle is the one that introduced us so clearly he knew their mom was gay#and he did#he never said anything about it while we were kids out of fear of making us gay or smth#but at the last family gathering he was updating me on what was going on with them cuz we havent seen em in a while#and he told me that their daughter had apparently gotten a boyfriend#which is great! im really happy for her#but my uncle was like 'yeah i was getting worried because of ( one of her mothers names ) being. . . you know?'#and i was???? flabbergasted?????? esp because of personal things with their parents he was JUST telling me about#this is the same guy who after 20 years STILL cant spell my deadname right. not relevant just still so fucking funny to me#but yeah he laughed when he said it and everything like he was making a funny joke#tbf there is smth so insanely comedic about telling your butch niece you were afraid someone 50 years younger than you liked other women#just because her mom did#crazy shit
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