#this one should be a gimme though
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Still bored and back still hurts. More Two Truths and a Lie
Feel free to play/vote in Part 1. This is the last easy one. Future ones are gonna be weird.
#rae irl#two truths and a lie#again for this one both truths are things i've mentioned here before#i honestly thought the last one was a gimme but i'm surprised by the results#i haven't voted in it because i don't want to skew the results but i have an awesome friend telling me what the results currently are#also this is entertaining me a whole lot while i rest in bed so thank you everyone who is playing along#look out for the next one later because that's when it's gonna start getting hard because it's going to be weird things that have happened#this one should be a gimme though#maybe potentially#we'll see#for context on this one i do play a sport have a main instrument and speak another language other than english#you just gotta know which one i listed the wrong thing for#should be easy#i'll also reblog with the answers once the poll ends#i'm having a great time
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Just had a Schnabel jump scare but then I remembered that there's not going to be a new Dresden Tatort this year 🙃
#apparently Brambach is doing commercials now#but honestly though#I was already annoyed when they announced they're going to air one instead of two films in 2024#but now it's going to be none?!#should have known something was up when there were two reruns during the summer break#ffs just gimme the last two films with Karin#and preferably before I forget how those two even look#Tatort#Tatort Dresden
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Another thing that should have tipped me off that I was trans was I was raised on country music, yeah? I'm not talking the good country between ~1940-1980, by the way, I'm talking the 2000s, but all those country songs that the man was talking about his girl? I always pictured this distant future where I was like this cowboy who got all kinds of ladies.
I don't think my closeted self would dream of myself being where I am now, but I still do hope being a cowboy is at the least in my future...
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#i love reminiscing about my egg-y self. the fool was simultaneously aware AND clueless as all hell and we love to see it#(the song i still remember this clearly was Gimme That Girl)#i stand by my opinion that 2000s country paved the way for me putting undue hate onto the entire genre#now when i imagine being a cowboy it's like. an emo cowboy. i'll have the cowboy hat but we're playing MCR in my huge truck#it's crazy that i survived over ten years of listening to nothing but that type of country music though#if you're wondering: yes i should be asleep but consider i am in a Silly Billy type of mood#wait should i make a playlist of all the songs that made me euphoric as a kid. i want to see what the overarching trend is#(that is if i can even remember them all...)#also if you read this far (congrats btw) put some egg moment of yours that makes you like 'how did i NOT know' if yoh have one of those
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watching any edition of in the soop really never fails to make me 1) want to eat steak fried rice or noodles and 2) move to korea to go live in the mountains
#ideally ig that'd be with members of bts or svt but im flexible i think just hiking there would fix me#esp svt's its2 it's SO beautiful there#gimme the sauna and the food as a bonus and im happy#also so many good talks this season??? loving that for them#dino tries really hard though and they keep shooting him down 😭😭 let your maknae speak!!!#jungkook: i learned so much from my hyungs im basically just made up of your personalities#rest of bts: our baby 🤧🥰🥺😚🤗😌☺️ you've grown up so well 💕😘💖💞💓💗#dino: i learned so much from my members as the maknae#rest of svt: what if i throw u in the fire 🔥👀🔪😩🤔😚 we all learned from each other. we're one 😤💓🔪🔥💞 get a grip#i like both perspectives#look away but. i love being the baby in my friend group and it does make me very baby spiderman listening to older spiderman meme#that said in my friend group where im the oldest by 2 whole entire years i also learn so much from them and their attitudes to life#just pisses me off sometimes bc i feel like i should be imparting more wisdom but then im the one having breakdowns :/#anyways i love friendship so much#and im just teasing @ svt as a sensitive loser it intimidates me sometimes but they're truly more like siblings ig
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teeth achieved. [goes to sleep]
#just me hi#i'll turn that off later it's just very Hm to me loll#not exactly funny not really annoying but very Hm. Hum.#the only reason i turned on that badge was because there was a Big fricken thing on the corner of the screen announcing#HEY. YOU POSTED 100 TIMES#yea. back in 22. are you good‚ dude?#i have done that ten times over you're a little late. i'll take that though gimme them teef#//also it's one a.m. again babyyy ya boy has no idea how to go to sleep at a normal hour heck yeaaa [guitar]#anywho sneeping now. going to sneep. and after i have snooped? why‚ who knows. today sleep‚ tomorrow the world#i have got to stop quoting that movie#it starts playing in my head afterwards and i start giggling like an idiot at 2 a.m.#why did they have an exploding octopus. who knows. truly inspired#you'd think the guy dressed as a duck would be all for animal rights but nah‚ he's chucking those bad boys out like pigeon food#wait he's a penguin#you get my point though he's a birdb. he should know these things. penguins are endangered i think‚ why is he doing this to the sharks :/#inspired and yet definitely mad. so- Truly inspired#could use less animal abuse but i think he's going somewhere with that#like why not dress up your goons as exploding octopus? now THAT'S scary#imagine: you're swimming away from the penguin's current base and you feel something brush against your leg#you think 'oh no! the exploding octopus!' you look down. just then‚ it takes hold of your ankle and you begin to flail as it tests its#pulling strength#you glance down again‚ for one fleeting moment the world is on its head and your vision is swimming harder than the rest of your body#a man - anchored to the waterbed by a rope but kept just a couple feet below the surface by some arm floaties - dressed in what seems to be#a very cheap octopus costume. your head feels light‚ all the pounding in your chest starts to feel miles away. your head is suddenly#underwater‚ somehow you remember not to breath. you meet his eyes for one moment- and then BOOM exploding octopus cosplayer Explodes !!!!!#That's scary#exploding octopus is just sad. that little dude didn't even know what it was doing :(#//ANYWAY i am going to bed now hvhfbsfa#no idea why i wrote all that. tis the hour ig lolll#nighty !
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SORRY im a bitch but masumi mever actually apologizes to Ichi. i went through the trouble of finding the raw jp sub just to confirm a suspicion LMAO but it's more like "i troubled you with masato" and ichi immediately goes on defensive saying it's no trouble
NONETHELESS he does not apologize and yet i think your post is still valid........... Anyway sorry i just dislike some of the adaptations made from jp-eng it mischaracterizes some of the characters in a couple of scenes
i cant be mad about a correction LMAO THANK YOU (mfers who should be apologizing are the hooligans outside of my window rn shut up it's 10PM ☠️☠️)
#snap chats#im just a dumb american who only bothers to have access to the localization translations of the japanese and english dubs#so im always grateful for the extra step people take to double check#tho it does make me realize /i/ should probably start to care more too.. it makes me look foolish#though you say the post is valid i feel like deleting it now- i wont tho just so this ask doesnt look bizarre out of context#thats the frustrating part of translation isnt it: its a delicate craft and doing it one way can really botch things#'i troubled you' and 'burdening' someone are in the same vein but the injection of 'sorry' really does change the tone of the statement#i guess it can be implied that he's sorry but that's very different from outright saying it#in any case my ears are burning and i dont like that SO im going to chug this seltzer#no im not i have a tummy ache :(#euuugh i dont want to write about reagonomics..#ill do it in a minute just gimme a sec..
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I just woke up from a truly insane dream but all I really remember about it that is coherent is that I was giving some sort of TED Talk or video essay and woke up with the following words in my mouth,
"You may be wondering where he is today. Jayquellen is currently the leader of a Hannibal themed polycule where all the members kin Baldur's Gate 3 characters. He, of course, kins Tav as it means his behavior doesn't have a canon interpretation and he can continue to do whatever he wants while abusing his victims."
#“Jayquellen also known as J-Cool”#and yes that is the pronunciation of Jacqueline from that one Key & Peele sketch#also Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer was playing full blast inside my skull#i very much may have been in The Bad Place but I may have been one of the demons#the dude I was talking about was a horrible person though#like a mashup of Andy Blake/Thanfiction and the FF7 house#now i kinda wanna do a post on those two things#because honestly fandom cults are wildly fascinating and people should know to be wary of them#can't wait for the first TikTok fandom cult to come to light#legit just gimme the release date so i can mark it on my calendar
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HOLD ON WAIT FUCK i just realized something about my art and it is unreasonably funny to me asdfghjkl
#I have spent the last 5 minutes laughing about this lol#when paired together some character designs of mine are the pan pride flag. this really should not be this funny but to me it IS#fuck yeah#also one of the designs is the demigirl pride flag but a teensy bit more saturated. maybe the character is a demigirl who knows#assigned demigirl by immory’s drawings lol#WAIT FUCJ#JUST REALIZED#THE BLUE CHARACTER ON HER OWN IS THE AROACE FLAG#FUCK YEAJ#ok maybe im just in a giggly mood but ksffdhfd i love this#quick someone gimme a pride flag with yellow in it so I can make the yellow char- WAIT NONBINARY. they already have a lot of black in the#design now I just gotta add white and purple. idk where I’d add white though :/ maybe I’ll give them white piercings or something idk
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simplicity
out there they're afraid even of the killer's shadow, and here i reside in his heartbeat like a home
or; the big bad red hood has a soft spot only for you [3.4k]
jason todd x fem!reader; tiny bit of angst but mostly fluff; aggressive unwanted advances, implied roofie attempt, violence & blood, slut-shaming; Jason “my girl can wear whatever she wants I can fight” Todd; in da clerb, we all fam ⎯ based on this !
A humid, crowded, upscale club isn’t the most ideal way to spend your Friday night, and Jason knows this. Frankly, it’s not his either, but as the owner of the humid, crowded, upscale club, he had to make some appearances at his own business.
“It’s a night out,” he had said. “Let’s make the most of it.”
If you’re being honest, it’s also not the worst way to spend your Friday night. Not when Jason dressed up so deliciously, in a fitted t-shirt, jeans, and his leather jacket. Not when he took you to a booth in the corner of the club and had them bring over your favorite drinks and snacks with the order to keep them coming. Not when you got to wear that cute little black dress that’s been hanging in your closet for months with your favorite strappy heels, the ones with ribbons that wrapped around your ankle and tied into a bow in the back. Not when Jason sat you on his lap and settled a large hand on your thigh, where it stayed the whole night.
All in all, you would say you’re making the most of it.
You’re sipping on your drink, chatting about something or the other with your boyfriend. He’s half listening, half drawing circles on your thigh and pressing kisses to your shoulder when one of the employees finds you. She’s freaking out because one of the performers hasn’t shown up, and there’s no one else to go in her place.
Jason huffs. He lifts you off his lap and sets you down on the seat. “I’m sorry, baby, I just gotta take care of this. I’ll be right back.”
“It’s okay. I’ll be here.” You smile over the rim of your glass.
He looks around for a moment, then gestures to someone across the room. One of the bouncers make their way to you.
“Just keep an eye out,” he tells him. “I don’t trust these entitled country club fuckers.”
He gives a curt nod. Jason leans in close, smirking, and says, “Especially not when you look like that,” and gives you a quick kiss before disappearing into the crowd with the employee.
A couple minutes later, a crash snaps your attention towards the bar. A young, college-aged-looking man is berating a waitress while a mess of shot glasses litter the floor around them. The waitress looks about to cry.
“Jesus Christ,” the bouncer says to himself. Then to you, “Gimme a second.”
You move to the edge of the booth to watch as he goes over and tries to pacify the man, but that only seems to make him angrier. He shoves the bouncer, yelling about “shitty customer service.”
You don’t get to see what happens next, though, because your field of vision is obscured by an enormous, very shiny, and very douchey silver belt buckle. You look up for its owner, and a greasy-looking, white-haired man looks down at you.
“Hey there, sweetheart.” A fake gold tooth catches the flashing lights and it glints in your eye. Uninvited, he slides into the booth across from you. He places a drink on the table, sliding it towards you. “You look thirsty. Got this for you.”
“No, thanks. I’ve got one.” You hold your own glass up.
He rolls his eyes. “Pretty thing like you should be takin’ advantage of all the free drinks you could be gettin’.” His smile sends a chill down your spine.
“Again, I’m fine,” you say, a little harsher. “My boyfriend has brought me plenty of drinks already.”
He laughs. It’s a high-pitched, scratchy, wheezing sound. Like a kazoo. “I don’t see this boyfriend of yours anywhere. He should know better than to leave you alone. I’d treat you much better than him.” His eyes travel down your neck and stay there. You stand from the booth and take a big step back. It’s not entirely personal; no matter how much of a threat he may be, Jason is a worse one. And if he’s still in this neighborhood, never mind this building, you fear for this man’s safety much more than your own. But the man follows, bringing the cup with him. “Come on, honey, it’s a compliment. Show a little thanks. I don’t bite.”
You don’t have to be the world’s finest detective to know that is most definitely a lie. Or to know to avoid that cup at all costs.
You could just rebuff him, walk away. But you’re willing to bet he’d just move on to the next woman. One who’s probably a little less sober, and a little less aware of her surroundings. You feign a stumble and knock the drink out of his grip. It tips toward him, drenching him with its contents. He chokes out a shocked gasp.
“Oops,” you deadpan, not at all trying to hide your indifference.
“You bitch,” he snarls. He lunges forward, snatching your wrist. You try to pull it back, but his grip is iron and bruising. “I was doing you a favor. Do you see anyone else here looking at you?”
You’re suddenly grateful you didn’t put up much of a fight after Jason came home from patrolling one night insisting he show you some self-defense moves. Far be it from you to cause a scene, but this guy isn’t giving you much choice. You employ the cardinal rule of women’s self-defense: go for the crotch. You shift your weight to your non-dominant side and launch your dominant knee right into his groin. The sharp metal edge of his belt buckle slices the skin just above your knee, but it shocks him enough to release your wrist and double over. The same leg used in your attack plants itself on the ground, and you use the momentum to pistol your opposite fist forward. It collides with his nose in a bone-cracking cross. Your stacks of studded rings didn’t do him any favors, either. He cries out in pain. His hands fly up to cover his nose, and the cup falls from his grasp and shatters on the floor, garnering the attention of some surrounding patrons. Blood seeps between his fingers.
“You’re gonna fucking pay for that.” His tone drips with poison. He reaches into his coat pocket and brandishes a switchblade (because of course. You’re not surprised, though. It is Gotham). You look around in a panic, hoping to find Jason towering somewhere over the crowd. He’s not there. A few guys who work for him, though, have since taken notice of the commotion and are making their way towards you. You know they won’t make it in time. You weren’t scared a moment ago, but you definitely are now. Jason only briefly covered disarming techniques, and you didn’t have his practice to stay calm in situations like these. He steps closer, shoes crunching over the glass shards, and you step back. You’re backed into a corner, literally. Your back is pressed against the table. His eyes are glassy and void of color.
There is a resounding pop when the man’s knife-wielding hand is yanked to the side. Too fast for your brain to register, he thuds against the table next to you and the knife clatters to the ground. You look over and see Jason, one hand pressing his face into the table and the other twisting the man’s arm behind his back.
When his men finally reach you, Jason is seething. They look almost as afraid as the man, whose whimpers are muffled by the pressure with which he’s flattened against the table.
“Who the fuck let this happen,” Jason glowers. Uncomfortable glances are shared between the men, all sharing the same sentiment; we fucked up big time.
Jason’s livid gaze flits back and forth among them. His veins flex against his forearms, rippling with effort. It looks like he’s putting all his strength into incapacitating the man, but you know better. He’s putting all his strength into restraint. The look on his face is cold and steely, with hardened, venom-green eyes and a clenched jaw. This isn’t Jason, the sweet boyfriend, or Jason the easy-going yet respected club proprietor. This is Jason the crime lord. Jason the anti-hero. This is the Red Hood. Who makes his own rules and kills anyone who breaks them. It’s a bit off-putting for you to see him like this; he’s never like this with you. He’s always just…Jason. Your Jason.
One of his men speaks up. “We’re sorry, Boss, we were keepin’ an eye like you asked, but there was trouble up at the bar.”
Jason scowls. “Trouble that required all of you?”
At their silence, he rolls his eyes. “Idiots,” he says under his breath. He jerks the man up to stand, the hand that was pressing him to the table now gripping the back of his shirt collar. “Someone take care of this.” He shoves the man in their direction. Hard. One of them catches him. “And for fuck’s sake, check him for anything else.”
While they’re busy patting him down, Jason turns back to you. You get whiplash from how quick his demeanor changes. Though still tense, the rigidity of his expression is long gone, replaced with tender concern.
“Are you okay?” His wide eyes scan you up and down, searching for any signs of injury. You manage a nod, still a bit stunned by his apparent shape-shifting abilities. “I’m so sorry, honey, this is my fault. It’s my fault for leaving you alone.” He pulls you close for a hug and kisses the top of your head, murmuring further apologies into your hair.
You pull back and cup his face in your hands. “It’s okay, Jay, I’m fine. I promise.” You lean in to kiss him and feel his shoulders relax.
“Jesus, man, sorry! Wouldn’t’a come on so strong if I knew she was your whore. How much did ‘ya pay for her, anyway?” His voice rings from behind. Jason tenses up again. When he pulls back from you, he’s gone. He’s like Jekyll-turned-Hyde when the combatant that lay dormant inside him reassumes his body.
He turns around, but his large frame shields you from seeing the scene unfold. You place a hand on his arm, a silent message of support, and you can feel him vibrating with anger. His hand comes to rest over yours and gives a reassuring squeeze.
“You know what?” You can’t be sure who he’s speaking to, but you can hear the eerie smile in his tone. “I’ll take care of this.” He faces you. “Can you give me a minute? Is that okay?” His voice is calm.
You know he would stay if you asked him to. And you never would, but you know he would go outside and kill that guy if you asked him to. And maybe you’re feeling a tad vindictive after the whole ordeal, so you just say, “Okay.”
He kisses your forehead, squeezing your hand once more. “I’ll come find you,” he says, stepping away, and you nod.
“Ross,” he commands. “Take her to the office. Get her whatever she wants.” Jason then speaks to all of his men. His tone drips with disdain. “Tomorrow we’ll talk about who’s getting fired for this.” You catch some of his men flinch.
He grabs the man by the collar once again and stalks towards the exit, dragging him along.
You’ve met Ross once or twice, though never exchanged more than a few words. He smiles at you. It’s amiable, if not slightly nervous. You know where the office is, but you’re still grateful for the guide. The mesh of moving bodies under dim lights makes all four corners of the room look the same. With the adrenaline wearing off, your hands ache and you become acutely aware of the stinging shock that shoots up your knee when you walk on it but, persevering, you follow him to the back. He holds the door that reads ‘RESTRICTED - DO NOT ENTER’ open for you, and you smile in thanks.
Various employees, servers and performers alike, mill about in the back hallways. You know some of them, having met in passing during other visits to the club, and offer polite greetings as you walk by. When you arrive at Jason’s office, Ross unlocks the door for you and you step inside.
It’s a nice office, noticeably homier than it was when you and Jason met. The first time he brought you back here it was just a desk, a chair, and a filing cabinet. You perched yourself on his desk while he sat in his chair and you teased him for not having a place for guests to sit, saying something about ‘men and their awful interior designing skills.’
“It’s not ‘bad skills,’ it’s cost-effective. ‘M runnin’ a business here, baby. If you need a place to sit that badly, you can sit right here.” He joked, patting his lap. And he said it with such conviction you believed him, but the next time you visited there was a brand new, plushy suede couch pushed against the wall.
You find a seat on said couch and try to get comfortable despite your protesting joints. From here you can spot a framed photo on Jason’s desk; the two of you smiling while bathing a shelter dog at the Wayne Animal Sanctuary. But while you smile at the camera, his gaze is trained on you.
Ross stands in the doorway, stoic as a bodyguard should be. “Do you need anything?” He asks you.
“No, I’m okay. Thank you, though.”
“‘Course. I’ll be outside. Just yell if you need anything.��� He moves to exit, but pauses. “Look,” he says, “We’re all really sorry about what happened. It was our fault. You have every right to hate us.” He chuckles self-deprecatingly. “God knows the boss does.”
You purse your lips, unsure how to respond. Technically Jason did instruct them not to leave you alone. But really, the only person at fault is that horrible man, and he was currently getting what he deserved.
“It’s okay, Ross,” you say, and you mean it. “I don’t blame you. And Jason’s not gonna fire any of you, okay? I won’t let him.”
He exhales. “Okay, you—yeah. Okay. Thanks.” He loiters awkwardly in the doorway for a moment. “Listen, Todd’s always been a great boss. But it’s no joke when it comes to you. Don’t know exactly what happened, but after meeting you, he’s just…different. Not sure if I believe it, but after the first time you were here, one of the bartenders swears they heard him whistling. Anyway, just mean to say…we’re glad he has you.”
His sincerity warms your heart. You thank him, and he assumes his post outside, closing the door.
At last in decent lighting, you take the time to examine yourself. Your knee, knuckles, and wrist are splotchy with bruises. A small scrape rests just above your knee from you were scratched. There’s a splattering of blood on your knuckles and on the rings you’re wearing. You grimace, the reality of what just happened settling in. Someone pulled a knife on you. If Jason hadn’t been there…the thought leaves you cold.
There are voices on the other side of the door, then receding footsteps. After a few seconds, a knock.
“Baby? Can I come in?”
“Yes,” you call out. Jason enters, locking the door behind him. There are some smatterings of blood on his hands and face, and he’s holding a first aid kit. Your immediate instinct is that he’s the one who needs first aid.
“Are you okay?” You ask as he kneels on the floor in front of you. “Did he hurt you?”
Jason tilts his head like a confused puppy, eyebrow raised. Just like that, The Red Hood is gone. He’s Jason again. He speaks softly, with a hint of his usual boyish charm. “Should I be insulted by you asking me that?” He picks up your un-injured leg and places the foot on his thigh, beginning to unravel the ribbon wrapped around your ankle. He removes the shoe and places it to the side, then repeats with your other foot. But when he moves it, your knee twitches and you wince. He frowns but doesn’t say anything. He sees the way your eyes travel between all the spots of blood. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, none of it’s mine.”
You sigh in relief. “You didn’t…kill him, did you?”
He chuckles, lightly massaging your foot. “Nah…did you want me to? ‘Cause I can still—”
“No.”
He smirks at you, before leaning down to press a kiss to your bruised knee. It’s so gentle, so loving, it completely contradicts the bloodstains that adorn him. As his hands move up to your calf, your hand moves to his hair, fingers threading through the white streaks and pushing them back so you can get a better view of his eyes. They’re a silky teal, bordering on sea green. They remind you of lake trips in the summer, and ice skating during the holidays.
“How bad is he? Like, on a scale of ‘he can walk it off’ to ‘he needs to go to the hospital.’”
Jason pauses his movements, looking thoughtful for a moment.
“He…he’s walking himself to the hospital.”
There’s not much you can say to that. After all, you gave him to okay to go fuck that guy up.
From the first aid kit, he retrieves a box of Band-Aids. They’re the children’s ones, decorated with cartoons and various characters. A specific one catches your eye, and you pick it out of the carton.
“Robin? Really?”
Jason breathes out a small laugh. “One of my guys’ daughter loves him.” He unwraps the bandage and sticks it over the scratch. You admire the small red plaster. Jason traces a finger over the emblem in the center, a black and yellow ‘R’.
He moves from your leg to your hand, gingerly laying it in his palm. One by one he slides each of your rings off. They’re not particularly special, but you still like them and you try to protest when he tosses them in the trash. He’s quick to assuage you with promises to buy you new ones with, hopefully, less blood.
"Did you see how good I got him?" You suddenly feel shy asking such a question. Like a child seeking validation.
"I did see," Jason says. And there's not a hint of condescension in his tone. "I'm proud of you. You remembered what I taught you."
You beam under his pride.
He uses a sanitizing wipe to remove the droplets of blood from your knuckles, kissing each one along the way. He reaches your wrist last. There’s a purple hand-shaped mark that wraps around it, and he stares at it. You can see his thoughts race at sixty miles an hour, and you know he’s beating himself up about it.
“Hey.” The hand in his hair moves to stroke his cheek. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault. I promise. I love you.”
He leans forward to press his forehead to your wrist. “I’m sorry,” he breathes. “I’m sorry.” He places gentle kisses on the purple skin. “I’m sorry. I love you.” He moves to the scratch above your knee, pressing more kisses, repeating the words like a prayer. Your hand is still enclosed in his hands, and his cool fingers soothe the throbbing swell. You pull his head up, holding his chin in your fingertips. His eyes close as he soaks in your warm touch.
You reach for another wipe and begin wiping the blood from his face. Some of it has dried, so you press the wipe a little harder, and blood rushes to his cheeks to give him an adorable flush. You repeat the process on his hands. Blood erased and wipes discarded, you pull him up to the couch to lie down with you. He stretches out, so large that his feet hang over the armrest. You snuggle up to his side and your head rests on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around you and kisses the top of your head. It’s surreal, how utterly soft he is, and just for you. How no one else gets to see him like this. He goes out at night as a fighter, a crusader, a deadly threat. And then he comes home to sleep in your arms. In your bed.
You place your hand against his chest, right over his heart to feel it thrum beneath your palm. It beats simple and steady, and just for you.
am i the only one who likes the whole jason owning the iceberg lounge storyline (aside from the whole penguin prisoner thing but i only write according to canon that i like and leave out the things i don't! whoops🤷♀️);
the feminine urge to write more fics that take place within the universe of this one...
divider is from here
#my jason todd domesticity agenda#batman#red hood#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfamily#dc universe#dc comics#dcu#dc robin#robin
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thinkin’ about katsuki who grabs you by the arm after you’ve commited a crime punishable by death—trying to leave for work without giving him a proper goodbye kiss.
you’re already running a little late and he’s still sipping at his coffee when you rush past him, haphazardly shrugging your jacket on. “i”ll be back by five !” you call out. and katsuki stops you dead in your tracks with a loud “oi !”
you spin around to see him scowling at you, crossing his big arms over each other as he squints at you. he’s already in uniform and about ready to go, face mask around his neck and a bit of his shirt still unzipped, chest exposed just enough for you to sneak a quick peek at.
you tilt your head, mind still a little scrambled and confused about what he could possibly want and he rolls his eyes “you forgot something, dummy..” he clicks his teeth. a smile grows onto your face and you’re happily skipping over to your man, having understood his slightly butchered version of “you forgot to give me a kiss before you leave.” katsuki watches intently as you approach him.
unfortunately for you, still in a rush, you make the fatal mistake of pressing a swift kiss to his cheek, you feel your lipgloss cling to his skin and giggle internally, you knew he’d complain about how irritatingly long it took to wipe the sticky shit off.
“have a nice day, baby. i love you.” you say sweetly, spinning around because you imagine he’ll just grumble something back like how you’re used to. you make your way to the door—or you try to, because in a heartbeat you’re grabbed by the arm and spun right back towards the blond.
he looks extremely irritated from this close up, katsuki presses his forehead to yours and pulls you closer by the small of your back, then smacks his lips against your hard, you squeal at the intensity of it all, especially so early in the morning (even though you should always expect intense with katsuki). his hands are rubbing up your spine as he pulls you impossibly closer and he’d managed to force his way into your mouth, breathing into it. you break away, and he presses one more wet kiss to yours.
it’s all you can do to try and catch your breath, eyes wide as he keeps looking at you intensely. he pulled away just enough for you to see him speak. you hear your heart in your ears.
“you gimme..a proper kiss or nothin’..y’got me ?” he pants, still trying to catch his breath. still hearing your heart in your ears you nod “mhm, okay..” you hum. he scans your face before a smirks breaks onto his face.
“good..,” he looks awfully proud of himself. he pats your butt and snorts when you jump, then presses a kiss to the side of your head “love you babe, have a good day at work.” the smirk stays prominent, not like he’s trying to hide it, as he finishes the rest of his coffee and you turn around with a hum, trying your best to get out of your daze and rush for work.
you’re absolutely sure he’d just made you late with that one, but you really weren’t complaining
#katsueeughj🤤🤤#i want him sb#AAIAUAJEKE SOMEBODY SEDATE ME#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo fluff#bakugou imagine#bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katuski x reader#cashs little thoughts and feelings#cash blurbs !#wtf typa word even is blurb lmfao#bakugo katsuki x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo fluff
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Coffee Crossfire: Part 2
Fandom: Marvel (Mob Boss AU)
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Summary: You own a cafe in Brooklyn, Bucky Barnes’ territory. You occasionally let him hold meetings in the cafe after hours and things usually go well….but not this time.
Part 1
Your anger and frustration towards Bucky fizzled out after two days. You knew that it really wasn't his fault the cafe got shot up. He told you firsthand when you bought the property of the risks of having a business in his territory. But he always reassured you that whatever damage happens, he'd take care of it.
Like a true mob boss, he kept his word.
Even with his busy schedule, he came in every day to help oversee the work that was being done. He wasn't much help though. You'd tell his men what to do, what goes where, how things should look, etc. He just pays for everything.
However, when some of the new tables and chairs came in, you put Bucky to work.
While everyone was working in the front, you and Bucky assembled the furniture towards the back of the cafe. Bucky looked at the instructions and let out a breath of relief, "Thank god these have written out instructions. Not like other instructions where it's all pictures. Shit gets confusing."
You snicker as you lay out the pieces by their labelled sticker, "Honestly, these shouldn't be too hard to do. They're similar to the ones I had before."
"Ready when you are, boss," Bucky says with a smile.
You snort, "Never thought I'd hear you call anyone else 'boss'."
He shrugs, "You're the only one I'll listen to, sugar," he gives you a wink and you look away as your cheeks start to heat up.
You can't deny that Bucky is attractive, funny, and charming. He's also sweet and intimidating, but also caring. Sure what he does isn't lawful in any means, however, he cares for everyone in his family's territory. He knows everyone by name, helps them when they ask, and make sure everyone's protected and safe.
You told yourself when you first met him not get close to him, but years later, you know you're more than close to Bucky. You two are attached to the hip. At first, you considered him as a friend, but in the most recent years, you've started to see him as more. That scares you a little.
You moved to Brooklyn to get away from those feelings and here you are, right back to where you were. All because of Bucky Barnes.
You love him. You know you truly do, you're just not sure if he feels the same. Sure he flirts with you, but he doesn't mean it. You've seen him flirt with a bunch of other people too, so it definitely doesn't mean anything when he flirts with you.
"Sugar, gimme a hand?" he breaks you from your thoughts.
"Sure," you move closer to him, "What do you need?"
"Just hold these two pieces together while I screw this in."
"M'kay," you hold to pieces of a chair together, and Bucky twists the screwdriver to secure them in place. Your face is close to his, you smell the coffee on his breath and his expensive cologne. You see the bags under his eyes and it makes you frown.
"There. Than-what's with the frown?"
"You haven't been sleeping well," when he looks at you confused, you point to his face, "the bags under your eyes. Bucky, you should be at home resting, not spending early mornings with me here."
"It's fine, sugar."
"No, it's not. You should be well rested because you have a lot of work to do-"
"And they're getting done, just not all by me. Things are getting handled, Y/N, don't worry. I wanna be here."
"Why? Nothing much for you to do here. Your guys have it covered."
He shrugs, "Just in case you need me or," he gestures to the furniture pieces, "need someone to help you build furniture." He smiles when you giggle. His heart flutters, "I'll be here every day until you tell me to fuck off."
"But why?" you genuinely ask him in curiosity.
He looks away from you and at the half-assembled chair in front of him, "Because I do what I can for the people I love." He then clears his throat and goes back to assembling the chair.
You stare at him in disbelief. He loves you. Bucky Barnes just said he loves you. He-
Bucky's phone starts ringing and he answers it. He hugs it between his ear and his shoulder as he screws in another piece of the chair, "Yeah?" He listens to the caller and lets out a long sigh, "Alright. I'll be over in a bit. Keep 'em awake. Bye."
You look at him with concern, "Everything okay?"
"Got more info on the guys who shot us up. Need to meet with Romanoff." Bucky grunts as he stands, pocketing his phone. His runs a hand through his brunette locks, "If you're still here when I'm done, I'll come back. Maybe I can get you some food since I know you don't eat when you get too busy."
You stand, meeting his gaze, a soft smile on your lips. Bucky knows you so well and you can't believe its taken you this long to see how he truly feels.
"Bucky?"
"Yeah?"
You lean in, pressing your lips to his in a gentle kiss. He's frozen in place and by the time he registers what's happening, you pull away, "I love you. Thank you for always taking care of me and being there for me."
"I, uh-" his face starts turning pink, "Ye-Yeah. Of course, sugar. I-shit." He hides his face in his hands and you can't help but laugh. You've turned The White Wolf of Brooklyn into blubbering, blushing mess.
He drops his hands from his face and he's smiling wide, "You love me? Really?"
"I do. I've loved you for a long time. I-I always hoped you felt the same. I thought you did with the flirting and how you were always there for me. But I'd see you do the same with others so I figured-"
He shakes his head, "No, sugar. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was so confusing. I-shit, Y/N, everything I do and say is because I love you. I love you so fucking much. I'd burn the world for you," he steps closer, placing his hands on your hips, nose grazing yours.
"For a big scary mobster, you're quite the softie, aren't you?"
"Don't let the guys know. It'd ruin my reputation," he murmurs, leaning in for another kiss.
"It's fine. We already know," Steve says as he stands there with his arms across his chest and a smirk on his face.
Bucky frowns, "Way to ruin the mood, Rogers."
Steve shrugs, "Sorry, but we have some important stuff to attend to."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Bucky steps away with a pout, "Sugar-"
You pull him back in for a kiss and he's quick to kiss you back this time. You then break the kiss with a grin, "Go take care of business, boss."
Bucky is a little dizzy and has a goofy grin on his face, "You got it, boss." He pecks your lips one last time and then steps away, "Got another reason to call you sugar now."
"Yeah?"
He nods, "'Cause your lips taste so sweet," he says with a wink and follows Steve out of the cafe.
You're not sure how you can get back to work after that kiss and confession. But you'll have to do your best!
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shower sex w/ jason
ask: I’ve been craving backshots with Jaybird(possibly in the shower)and reader being blackout cockdrunk, I don’t know if you’re comfortable with degradation, praise/degradation or slightly mean!Jason so I’ll leave that optional(if you’re not comfortable with that forget I ever said that). And ofc filthy dirty talk is always welcome 😉
a/n: @nyxx01 IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG I HOPE U LIKE IT
wc: 800-ish
tw: subspace themes
"Shut up and take it."
The steam radiating throughout the bathroom was nothing compared to what was actually happening in the shower. What was supposed to be a simple wash after a night out, abruptly turned into something much more pornographic.
For hours now, Jason had been plowing into your entrance, not thinking too let up in the slightest. You were surprised the water hadn’t gone cold considering the two of you had been at it for hours now.
Despite the hot water cascading down your skin, your nipples grazing the tile of the wall, or even the slight clutch of Jason’s hand around your throat, you felt completely stripped of all your senses.
Absolutely weak in the knees by now, your body had gone completely limp from being handled so brutally. The sobs of pleasure slipping from your lips were the only signs of life from you.
As the rhythm of Jason’s thrusts shook your entire body, you were sure you’d have fallen over by now had it not been for his iron grip around your torso. "Jace,” you huffed, “Jus’ gimme a sec-"
A piercing smack shrilled through the air, loud enough to be heard between the pouring water and your shameless moans. You didn’t even realize how much your rear stung until you noticed callused hands teasingly rub at the stricken area, “Nuh uh, you don't get to talk. Not right now."
The vigilante moved to grip you by your elbows, his hips still thrusting at an unforgiving pace. Tears stained your cheeks as you began to cry, the saltiness of your cries somehow finding a way to stand out against the tap water around you.
"Aww, you crying sweetheart? I thought you wanted to be treated like a whore t’night, hm? Thought this was what you wanted, baby.” His teases did nothing but add to your arousal, only hurting you on a surface level.
“I should just spread you open and pound you till tomorrow, huh?" He cooed. “I’d finally fuck the brat outta you. Maybe then you’ll start being good ‘fa me.”
You practically shuddered at the thought, desperate to be filled with more of Jason’s cum. His feigned sympathy made your eyes water even more.
However, that dream was quickly shut down. His sudden talkativeness was a telltale sign that he was close to reaching his peak.
Not even a minute later, you felt his hips shudder vigorously against your backside, the grip on you tightening as he was pushed over the edge. Ropes of cum pulsed from the girth between his legs, penetrating deep within your sensitive hole
“Mmmf, there we go.” Groans sputtered from his mouth, languid praises rumbling from chest, “That’s it hon, give it to me.”
Following him in sequence, you reached your final orgasm of the night. Your knees buckled and convulsions took over your body as you felt the climax rush through you.
Before you could hit the floor though, the Gothamite was quick to catch you in his arms. Gently, he sat you down on the floor of the tub, making sure to angle you away from the pouring water.
Feeling the ground beneath you, your senses were slowly coming back to you. While you weren’t necessarily dickmatized anymore, your thoughts were still a bit hazy.
The water rinsing you down, a fresh towel drying you off, butter massaging its way into your skin; everything happened in a blur. But, even while your mind was still trying to catch up with the world around you, you knew that you were in good hands.
“C'mon doll, help me out a little here.” Blinking into reality, you looked to see you were sat on the edge of your bed, dressed in one of your boyfriend’s tee shirts. Jason was standing between your legs, attempting to wrap your hair for the night, but your drowsy figure was no help whatsoever.
Straightening up, you moved to make the job easier for him. “There ya’ go,” he muttered, the low timbre of his voice only lulling you further to sleep, “Look at you bein’ so good for me now.”
Once your mane was taken care of, you hastily made your way under the sheets, the soft fabric covering you in a blanket of warmth. After making sure you were comfortable, the batboy made his way over to his side of the bed, settling himself in right beside you.
Although, just as you were about to clock out for the night, Jason squished your cheeks together, forcing your eyes to meet his, "Maybe next time think twice before flirting with the bartender, hm?"
You knew he was still irritated with you, but the goodnight kiss he left on your forehead told you he’d get over it. Sooner or later.
a/n: this reads like a wattpad fic (derogatory)
#posting an apology (WITH TEARS)#no but fr tho im sorry for being gone#ノ彡☆ [read all about it] — my writing#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd x gn!reader#gender neutral!reader#jason todd fanfic#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd x y/n#jason todd x you#jason todd blurb#jason todd smut#dc x reader#dc smut#dc fanfic#dc fanfiction#red hood#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood fanfic#red hood fanfiction#red hood x y/n#red hood x gn!reader#jason todd x gender neutral reader#dc#jason todd x black!reader#black!reader#jason todd x black!y/n#red hood x black!reader
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DROP MORE PREGNANT READER AND MY LIFE IF YOURS🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
ups and downs | various! yandere! fatui harbingers x pregnant reader
a/n: gimme your life :3
CAPITANO
you were not happy, the captain could tell.
whenever he'd bring light to your sad expression, you'd just sulk, and walk off, dragging your feet.
perhaps this pregnancy was getting to you more than he knew.
to see you so sad, to see you so sluggish, he knew you weren't feeling well.
so he started coddling you. he'd do everything for you, or, almost everything anyway. he would help you get dressed in the morning, he would braid your hair down for you to keep it out of your face, he'd hold your hand and walk you through the snowy garden with him.
things seemed to be looking up for you.
"it's getting colder shall we go back in?" the captain asked, pausing to look at you, waiting for an answer.
"I'm not ready..."
"very well," he would remove his coat and place it over your shoulders, "if it pleases you, we can continue our walk."
"thank you."
"of course. I'd do anything for you, (y/n)."
sure, he was getting tired of roaming the garden, but holding your hand and being near you, seeing you enjoy yourself, made it worth his while.
DOTTORE
dottore had it with you.
not literally, but goodness, you were wearing him out. if you weren't complaining about one thing, it was something else.
you were sitting in front of the fireplace complaining about how hot it was. so, of course, dottre had to help you find a better seat, or else you'd get upset with him.
and now, you were complaining about the fruit salad you were eating.
looking across the table at you, dottore picked at his salad. it was meant to be a small meal until dinner and here you were complaining about it.
"(y/n), if it's not to your liking, then don't eat it. nobody here is forcing you to eat it," dottore formed a smile on his face, it was small and tense but if he didn't smile at you, he knew you'd think he was being 'rude'.
"yeah, but I'm hungry... I don't think fruit salad should be so... mushy."
dottore swallowed, poking at his salad - it wasn't mushy at all. pulling your bowl away, he slid his own to you, "eat it, (y/n), please - there is absolutely nothing wrong with mine."
dottore then ate your fruit salad - it didn't matter to him how it tasted, as long as you were satisfied and eating, he didn't mind how rotten the salad tasted.
though, he would be firing the chief for even daring to serve this garbage to you.
PANTALONE
"look at this dress, oh, it looks absolutely lovely on you," pantalone turned you to face the mirror, his hand hovering over your round belly before he dropped it to his side.
catching a glance at your face, pantalone saw that you were frowning deeply. "(y/n)... what's the matter?"
"I'm tired," you replied, looking at him through the mirror.
right, pantalone had forgotten, you've been quite sluggish these past few months. it was inconsiderate of him to make you stand and try on multiple dresses just for his satisfaction.
it was truly inconsiderate of him.
"oh, it completely slipped my mind," pantalone was quick to turn you to face him, his hands on your shoulder, "forgive me, won't you? here, let me help you out of this..."
"it's fine..." you mumbled, as he began tugging the dress from over your head. removing the dress, he helped you back into your old clothes.
"a nap would be nice, no?" taking your hand into his, he guided you into his bedroom where the two of you would lie down for a nap.
he could tell you were tired.
gosh, he was so very considerate.
CHILDE
when childe worked, he had a new goal in mind.
providing for you, of course. he was going to be a father; he needed to prove that he was worth it, and he needed to prove just how good of a father he'd be.
he had never felt quite so motivated before. he had never felt so motivated to be good and stay out of trouble.
love really changes people, huh?
after finishing his work, he'd come home with a grin on his face. it didn't feel real, at all.
he was with you and you were going to have a child with him!
"(y/n), where are you? I'm home! I brought dinner," childe called out as he stepped through the front door.
the fireplace was on, the lights were off and the bedroom door was cracked open. huh, guess you were sleeping.
so childe crept down the hallway and into his bedroom where you were sleeping.
how pretty you were...
he sat down beside him, looking at you and your peaceful features. he grinned, how much better could his life get?
he idly messed with the hairs on your head, petting and twirling them around his finger. he sat there and did that for a while, that was until you woke up.
you swatted his hand away, scowling at him.
childe smiled down at you, "let's go shopping for baby clothes. that would be nice, wouldn't it?"
"sure..."
"great! now let's go eat, (y/n), I brought dinner home for us."
eating dinner with you would be a nice change of pace but, of course, anything done with you would be nice.
#capitano#yandere capitano#yandere capitano x reader#capitano x reader#pantalone#yandere pantalone#yandere pantalone x reader#pantalone x reader#dottore#yandere dottore#yandere dottore x reader#dottore x reader#childe#yandere childe#yandere childe x reader#childe x reader#yandere tartaglia x reader
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anniversary antics
pairing: joel miller x f! reader
cw/tags: pwp, breeding kink (literally that's the fic), unprotected p in v (duh), dirty talk, established relationship (they're happily married?!), not beta read, written in one evening
summary: literally breeding kink
wc: 1.3k words
You’d always heard that married couples don’t have sex very often. You’d been warned about these ‘dead bedrooms’ by friends of yours, read about it on the internet – it was basically common knowledge.
Maybe there’s some truth to it, but you wouldn’t know because you married Joel Miller who gets older and sexier every day. Joel Miller, your husband who took you out to a nice dinner for your anniversary and sat across from you acting all polite and charming in his brand new suit, your husband who ripped your dress off the moment he got you through your front door.
Now you lie naked under him, already disheveled and ready to take whatever he’ll give you. You’re face-to-face with the man who makes you weak like no other. You affect him equally, you drive him wild, fill him with a fiery need that surpasses all other desires.
Though it takes all of your mental fortitude to fight the pull of arousal, your sensible self still peeks through for a moment.
“Joel, I’m pretty sure I’m ovulating right now.”
Joel slips back into his serious, practical, typical demeanor easily. A completely different man from the one who was sucking marks into the taut skin of your neck just a moment ago.
“Okay. You want me to pull out or do you wanna use a condom?” he asks as if those are the only two options.
“We can do whatever you want.” You shouldn’t tell him what you want.
“It’s not just about me. It’s your body, baby.” He leans in and whispers his next words into the shell of your ear: “tell me what you want.”
His voice is low and commanding. It makes you nervous for all the wrong reasons. You should be worrying about the consequences of doing this while you’re ovulating, you should be assessing the risks, but you can only think of the reward.
“I, uh- what if you didn’t do either of those things?”
“You mean you want me to cum inside you? Is that it?” He remains straight-faced, seemingly unfazed by something that’s been a kink you’ve kept secret for so long, believing it to be too taboo.
He’s not even inside you yet, he’s looming over you, skin barely ghosting over yours, but his words alone make you exhale a breathy moan, and he knows.
“You do want that, huh?” He gets that cocky grin on his face, proud of himself for figuring out what makes you tick, though it was hardly a mystery.
One of his hands remains by your head, balancing himself above you while the other is wrapped around his dick as he drags the head along your folds.
You grip the pillow and turn your head to the side, burying your face in it, determined not to let him hear the sounds coming from your mouth right now.
“I know how bad you want it, baby, but I think she wants it even more than you do,” he says, focusing on your cunt, playing with it and reveling in the lewd sounds that come with every swipe of his tip along your slit. “Listen to that,” he says
He’s silent for a second, letting you hear the slick noises of your wetness.
“I need you to look at me, sweetheart.” He ceases his teasing between your legs and brings his hand up to your face to cup your chin.
Hesitant to meet his eyes but desperate to have him inside you, you give in and look at him.
“Baby, she’s cryin’ ‘cause she needs it so bad. Are we gonna give it to her?”
“Only if you want to.” Translation: yes, please.
His tone is deeper, voice thick with conviction, when he replies. “Baby, you have no idea how bad I want it.”
You shouldn’t be surprised, and yet you are.
“Gimme your hand,” he says. “I want you to feel how hard I am right now.”
You oblige, let him take your hand and guide you to wrap your palm around his cock. It twitches in your grasp. “I didn’t know it could get this hard,” you say.
“Only when I’m with you.”
You shift your hips while you hold his cock steady lining it up with your entrance. “Please,” you whine, gazing up into his eyes.
His answer isn’t verbal. He eases into you, letting you feel his length stroke your inner walls as he gradually presses himself deeper.
“It feels so good,” you moan.
You wrap your arms around him, holding onto him like you’re afraid you’ll lose him.
“I know.” His voice is raspier now, barely hiding his own desperation. “Baby, just so you know, if you want me to stop-”
“-No! Don’t stop.” You wrap your legs around his hips, keeping him inside you, using your heels to force him even deeper.
He laughs – so much as one can when they’re running out of breath. “Or if you want me to pull out.” There’s a glint in his eye, he’s not ‘checking in with you’, he’s teasing you. “If you don’t want me to get you pregnant…”
On cue, your walls clench around him, betraying any facade of composure, and the smirk is already waiting on his face.
“I knew it,” he says. “You want me to get you knocked up, huh?”
In a haze, eyes half-lidded and empty of all thoughts but Joel getting you pregnant, you mumble in agreement, “uh-huh.”
“I could put a baby in you right now,” he says as if it’s some revelation. He continues to act flippant to tease you, but it’s getting to him too – you can hear it in his voice, rough and raspy.
The coil inside you tightens, so close to snapping, you can feel it. “Joel, I’m gonna cum.” It’s urgent, a warning, not a plea.
“Mm-hmm. You can cum for me. But I’m not gonna stop until I get you pregnant, baby.”
And that’s what brings you over the edge. Your walls clench around him, keeping him inside you, and your nails drag down his back, leaving marks, claiming him, knowing he’s about to make you his too.
You cum so hard you nearly scream but it’s all unintelligible aside from his name.
He doesn’t give you a second to catch your breath as he chases his own orgasm. All you can do is cling to him and sob out your pleas as you continue to soak the sheets.
“Look how deep I am, baby,” he says, eyeing the bulge his cock makes in your abdomen. “Gotta make sure I cum deep inside you if I wanna get you knocked up tonight.”
Joel’s not usually this talkative during sex. He’s the kind of guy to swear through gritted teeth and grunt with every thrust, but now, he’s talking dirty to you like he’s an expert. Like he’s practiced. Maybe in his head, he has.
It’s the look on your face, the way you can’t seem to shake yourself out of your last orgasm while teetering on the edge of the next, the way you’re losing yourself to your own pleasure that spurs him on.
“You feel so good, baby. I’m getting’ real close.”
“Me too.”
“Yeah?” His hand snakes its way downward so that his thumb can circle your clit in time with his thrusts.
His hips falter and he cums deep inside you with a low groan. You’re so caught up in your own that you struggle to focus on him. You want to see him, but your eyes screw shut when the intense pleasure courses through you. You gush around him, leaving him equally as messy as he leaves you.
Basking in the post-orgasm bliss, you slowly regain your senses.
“I could really be pregnant,” you say
“I doubt it,” he says.
“Why’s that?”
“Just my intuition.” He shrugs and a small smile graces his lips before he adds, “but we can always try again.”
#joel miller x reader#joel miller smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller#tlou smut#tlou fanfiction
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Memory Reboot
PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x gn!Reader
SUMMARY: You work at P&P, and one day you come into Bateman's office and witness his breakdown. Your attempts to comfort him only increase his obsession with you, and without realizing it, you push this man to his limits. The outburst that finds you both in a club called the Tunnel will change your lives forever and irrevocably.
CONTAINS: Smut, angst, obsessive behavior, desperate-touch-starved Patrick, masturbating, oral sex (reader receiving), aggressive foreplay, dirty talk, body worship, teasing, biting, drug usage, pet names.
WORDS: 3k
SONG REC: VØJ, Narvent - Memory Reboot
A/N: This is for my dear @iron-flavored-lipgloss! It was such a pleasure for me to write this for you! Enjoy!
LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [EDIT]
Patrick Bateman. What kind of a mess was this man? Chaotic, impulsive, pathetic? Or all of the above?
Smirking, you went to his office to deliver some documents you needed him to sign, but when you got there, you noticed that Jean — his lovely blonde assistant — was absent and the door to his office was suspiciously half open. It was strange, to say the least, but you just shrugged your shoulders and stood there for a while when you heard a loud thud coming through the door — the sound almost made you jump in surprise. 'What the hell?' You wondered as you approached the door, turning around to see if Jean was coming, but there was no sign of her. With measured steps you got closer to the hole in the open door and just peeked in out of curiosity, but the scene you saw was not what you expected — Bateman, all flushed and covered in sweat, was storming around his office, his hands desperately fumbling with his tie as if it was choking him.
Your reaction was quick, and you didn't even notice as you opened the door and stepped inside. "Bateman? Are you okay?"
The man stopped shaking the moment he heard your voice and leaned down on his desk. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I came to get your signature on some of my docs when I heard you crying,” you grinned, watching his face go pale. "What's wrong, Bateman? Did you miss your facial?" The way he balled his hands made you laugh. "But really, did something happen?"
"Yes," Patrick replied, looking at you and running his hand through his disheveled hair. "I mean...no...nothing happened…" You saw his lips tremble a little each time he spoke. "Gimme the docs."
Frowning in confusion, you pulled out a napkin and handed it to him instead, meeting his scornful gaze. "You're sweating…” You placed the white piece of cloth on his desk, only now noticing a small jar that you were sure was full of pills. "Maybe I should ask Jean to bring you some coffee? You look really sick..."
"No!" Bateman suddenly blurted out, pointing his finger at you. "I asked Jean to take the day off..."
"Hey, hey, relax," you raised your hands defensively. "Relax, I was just trying to help."
Slowly, you placed the folder of documents on his wooden desk, which he grabbed almost immediately, and your hands touched for a brief moment, and Bateman didn't flinch, and neither did you.
"Take a seat." Patrick muttered incoherently.
"What?"
"Sit," he repeated irritably. "And wait."
His tumultuous behavior actually frightened you, but you did as he said and sat down in the chair opposite him. ‘My God, he really is mental, Tim was right.’
"What are these pills? Some vitamins?" You tried to keep the conversation alive, not even knowing why, as you watched his long, thin fingers floating across the pages.
Your question made him stop and look up at you. "That's none of your business, (y/n). I asked you to sit and wait, not ask me stupid questions."
‘Why does he look so cute when he's so angry?’ The thought brought a smile to your face, but then you zipped up your mouth theatrically and Bateman's office went silent for a while. And you used it to admire his perfect jawline, even though his brown hair was messy now, it looked so inviting to touch anyway.
"Is that all?" Bateman asked suddenly, arching his eyebrows and interrupting your train of thought.
"Uh, what?"
A prominent line appeared on Patrick's forehead — a testament to his annoyance. "Are you deaf or something?"
"Lemme see them," you pointed at the documents. "I want to make sure you put your cute sign on every page." Your playful tone made the line between Patrick's eyebrows even more noticeable. "I don't want to come back here."
Bateman didn't even try to jab back, his face still pale and sweaty, his eyes nothing but dark voids — oh, how fucking empty they were. Sighing heavily, Patrick raised his gaze when he heard the chair creak as you got up and walked around his desk. The sudden cut in the distance between the two of you was something Patrick didn't seem to be ready for, as his hands nervously gripped the armrests, but you pretended not to notice.
"We all feel down sometimes," you murmured over his ear, literally sensing the tension radiating from his body. "And that's okay." Placing your hand on his broad shoulder, you leaned down to look at the documents, surreptitiously inhaling the scent of his perfume mixed with his sweat. ‘Fuck, what am I doing?’
"I didn't know you had a part-time job as a therapist," he grumbled, examining your palm, wondering if he was going to kill you here and now, or keep you in here forever. "Listen, I have a reservation at Barcadia..."
"Mmm, Barcadia? Really?"
Bateman nodded and finally removed your hand. "Yes, I'm having lunch with Coutrney."
"I wonder what Luis thinks of these lunches with his fiancé." You picked up the folder and stepped back from his armchair. "You don't feel guilty about sleeping with Coutrney behind his back, do you?"
Gritting his perfectly white teeth, the brown-haired man abruptly got up from his desk and stormed toward you, surely intending to yell at you or say something rude, but the moment he stopped directly across from you and your eyes met, Bateman's expression suddenly became lost and confused. "Just stop," he finally managed to mutter. "Stop poking around in my fucking head…" As you noticed his pupils widening, things were no longer funny to you. "Understand?"
‘Well, maybe turning it into a joke is not a bad plan,’ you hummed and nodded. "Sure, Bateman," you sneered a little nervously. "I'm just reading this book Timothy gave me," you slowly turned and walked to the door. "The book about Human Psychology." That was surely a joke, but judging by the serious look Patrick gave you, he didn't seem to get it.
"Tim gave you... a book?" He repeated, frowning in confusion and disbelief.
When you opened the door, you paused for a second, wanting to say something smart at the end. "Oh yeah. Why don't you ask him about it? Maybe he can recommend some books about... human relationships or something." And with that, you smiled in satisfaction at seeing Bateman's face quiver with anger before you left his office, leaving him with a raging tempest in his chest.
Later that day, Patrick couldn't sleep because his mind was so full of different thoughts, but the only thing they had in common was that they were all connected to you. You, you, you. The sound of running water echoed off the marble walls of his lavish bathroom as Bateman stood in the shower, enjoying the way the strong streams of cold water hit his back. Huffing, Patrick desperately scrubbed his skin as if it would help him get rid of the thoughts of you that haunted him the day he first met you — you were so cheeky, so sweet, everyone loved you and wanted to hang out with you. How fucking cute. Patrick groaned as he felt a throb at the base of his hard cock, God, he felt like it was hard all the time and no sex could help him with that because all those people, they weren't you.
"Argh, fuck," he groaned as he finally allowed himself to touch his twitching dick and give it a few strokes.
"F-fuck..." Bateman pumped his length rhythmically, recoiling at the memories of today, the way you put your hand on his shoulder, the warmth of your breath on the back of his neck. And what would it feel like if you had placed your hand on his chest, or run it over his abdomen and then down?
"Uh, a-ahhh," the man moaned louder, shaking uncontrollably from the orgasm building at the base of his spine. "(Y/n), your hands feel so good on me, oh-shit…" Patrick had to lean against the shower wall as his legs buckled from the intense waves of ecstasy as he cummed with your name on his trembling lips, the water still running down his sculpted body, washing his cum off, but he was still so hard.
"Reading books on psychology," Bateman chuckled, tilting his head. "What an idiot." His nervous giggle bounced across the shower, but soon the laughter turned to a low wail. "Pathetic…”
Time flowed like sand through your fingers, and you couldn't even remember how many days had passed since your visit to Bateman's office, but since then something had changed between the two of you, but you both couldn't understand what exactly had changed, or maybe you didn't want to try to understand. To be fair, it was so fucking annoying that when you found out that Tim, David, Craig and Patrick were going to the Tunnel, you saw it as your chance to dot the T's, no matter how the evening would end.
When you arrived at the club, it was so crowded that it took you a while to find the group of yuppies sitting on the plush couches next to the dance floor, jamming to the music and drinking their cocktails.
As you approached, Craig was the first to spot you. "Woah, woah, look who it is!" His cheeky remark caused everyone to look at you, including Bateman, whose teeth were visibly clenched around his cigar at that moment.
"Hey, guys! Enjoying the music I see?" You smiled, fixing your hair briefly from the sudden rush of panic. ‘Damn it, stay calm! Why am I so nervous?’
Timothy winked at you and raised his glass. "Did you come alone or..." he stopped abruptly when he noticed someone behind your back. "Hey, is that Paul Allen?"
‘Shit, shit, shit. That was so much easier in my head than it is in reality.’ You chewed on your cheek, and while the men were guessing whether they really saw Paul Allen or not, a sudden idea came to your mind, but you hated it before you even started to bring it to life. "Do you have a gram?" You asked without thinking, hoping they would say no.
"I do," Bateman's voice came out of nowhere and you almost screamed in your head, but you had to keep your composure. "But you will owe me." As he said this, you came closer to where he was sitting with a playful smile on your face and took a seat next to him. "Wait, we are not going to do coke here."
"Hey, why not?" David chuckled and took out his business card holder. "What's wrong with it?
"Oh God, look at that cheeky bastard," Craig pressed a palm to his face. "Van Patten decided to be a bad boy today."
The men laughed and high-fived each other before Bateman whispered in your ear, making you almost jump. "Follow me." Those two simple words made you obey like you were under a spell.
As the two of you made your way to the bathroom where people in the Tunnel usually did coke, your heart pounded to the heavy beat of the music, or even faster. Patrick went first, his elegant silhouette like a shining star in the midnight sky — so eye-catching and mesmerizing that it wasn't surprising that a lot of people turned around to look at him, but you didn't care as soon you would be alone with him. ‘Just you and me, Bateman.’
The bathroom was surprisingly empty today. The last time you were there, you had to wait almost half an hour to get into the free stall, but now luck seemed to be on your side. As you stepped into one, Patrick pulled out his business card holder and rolled the $100 bill; you did the same, watching as Bateman made lines of coke with his platinum AmEx card.
"I have to say, you look much better." You commented briefly.
The man was about to lean over to snort the white powder, but your words made him freeze. "Huh," he chuckled abruptly and brushed away a stray lock of hair. "I was just reading some books about... relationships," Patrick grimaced, drawing out the last word with a cocky grin. "It changed my mind." Before you could say anything, Patrick was snorting the coke, holding the rolled-up bill to his nostril while holding another down with his thumb.
"Very funny," you mumbled, tapping the rolled note against the inside of your palm. "Where was your wit when I walked into your office a week ago?"
Bateman coughed quietly and threw his head back for a moment to clean his nose. "What does this have to do with anything?"
Rolling your eyes, you moved closer to his business card holder to inhale the white line of powder that had been left there, your mood was already off, and at some point you even began to regret coming to Tunnel tonight. Though it wasn't your first time doing coke, you felt so dizzy as the drug began to intoxicate your system that you almost fell to the floor if you hadn't bumped into Bateman's chest, leaving a white stain on the lapel of his Valentino suit.
"Hey! What the fuck!" Patrick blurted out, ready to push you off, but the way you grabbed his shoulders stirred something strange inside him, something he was fighting all the time. "Have you ever done coke?"
You coughed several times, blinked nervously, and only then did you let him go. "Sorry..." you gasped and leaned against the wall of the stall behind your back. "It's been a while."
"You stained my jacket."
"God! I'm sorry, okay?"
"No," Bateman replied, brushing off. "Not okay."
"What do you mean?" You asked confusedly, batting your eyelashes and breathing heavily.
Patrick dropped his head for a second before looking at you again, your faces dangerously close. "I'm not okay."
You licked your lips nervously. "Why?"
Instead of saying anything, the man pulled you against his massive frame, giving you no time to react as his hot mouth covered yours; it was difficult to call it a kiss, it was more like the act of claiming — his strong arms trapping you between the wall and his muscular body while yours hovered motionlessly like whips. When Bateman released you, he tugged at your lower lip and licked it with a wet, obscene sound. "Because...because of this."
Panting, you stood in shock for a moment before nodding and touching your wet lips. "Yes," you put both hands on his chest, exploring it slowly but boldly, causing him to close his eyes for a second. "I don't think I'm okay either." After whispering it in his ear, you slid your tongue down his bare neck, right over the mole, and when you heard him grunting, you lowered your hand to his belt, playing teasingly with the buckle.
"Lower," Bateman husked, and when you didn't listen, he grabbed your hand and lowered it himself — the outline of his fully erected cock eliciting a muffled moan to break out of your cramped throat. "Ahhh-fuck."
"God, you're so needy," you murmured against his neck, busy undoing his belt. "So touchy."
It only took a few seconds for you to undo his pants and let his taut dick pop out of his underwear. ‘Mmhhm, his cock is so perfect, just as I expected,’ you smiled to yourself, and in the next moment you were stroking his throbbing length, smearing his slick pre-cum around his swollen tip without any shame or fear of getting caught.
"(Y/n)," Patrick hissed as he pressed you against the wall with his weight, his hands sneaking down your back to grope your ass. "Be quiet," the man ordered when he heard your soft moans. "Keep quiet and undo this." Bateman pointed to your bottom and just the thought of what he was about to do to you almost made you cum.
"Why?" You gave him a foxy grin and tightened your grip on his dick, forcing Patrick to hold his breath.
"Just...just do what I say..."
"Okay, honey."
"Don't call me that!" He uttered and squeezed your ass painfully, your bodies grinding against each other, making you hot and sweaty.
"Patrick..." You attempted to kiss him, but he turned away.
In one swift motion, the man reached your neck and aggressively nipped at the throbbing artery. "Shut up! Just shut up and undo this fucking..."
You didn't let him finish his tantrum as you caught his lips with yours, increasing the tempo of the jacking, and you could feel he was so damn close. But since he was so insistent, you undid the lower part of your garment, and everything that happened next was like one of your recent dreams. Bateman, flushed and panting, crouched down, his cock slipping out of your grasp, but the next second his fierce mouth found its way between your legs as he began to suck on your sensitive flesh with sheer greed and passion, not forgetting to pump his dick and growl softly against your skin.
"Ohh, Pat-Patrick," you gasped, tugging at his brown hair, dishevelling it, but neither of you cared. "I'm gonna cum if you don't stop..."
"Mmm-fuck, you taste so sweet," Patrick pressed his face closer to your core, his free hand nailing you to the wall to hold you in place. "You're shaking like a fucking whore."
Chucking, you yanked at his hair a little harder. "And you're devouring me like a starved man, are you starved, Bateman? How long have you been... so fucking s-starved?" You hiccupped as he redoubled his efforts, lapping at your crotch and jerking himself off. "F-fuck, I'm... I'm gonna..."
The loud footsteps made you both stop in your tracks, and when you heard people coming into the bathroom, you stalled completely, only to quickly fix your clothes and then pretend nothing had happened as you left the stall. Later, as you were washing your hands, Patrick stood behind you and you met his eyes in the mirror. "Are you leaving or..." You asked briefly as he handed you your twisted bill.
"Yeah," Bateman straightened his jacket and wiped his mouth with a paper towel before opening the door. "You better forget about it. Believe me."
‘And now I feel like I need a memory reboot.’
Chapter 2 is here! 💗✌
P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!
#american psycho#patrick bateman x reader#patrick bateman imagine#patrick bateman#patrick bateman x female reader#patrick bateman x you#slasher x reader#slashers x reader#slasher x you#slasher smut#patrick bateman smut#patrick bateman headcanon#christian bale smut#christian bale x reader#patrick bateman reader#christian bale#patrick bateman imagines#patrick bateman x male reader#gn reader
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「 SUMMARY 」 — Red Bull's rich girl & Red Bull's golden boy are dating and everyones surprised.
「 PAIRINGS 」 — max verstappen x nepo baby!reader
「 WARNINGS 」 — suggestive, lestappen sex jokes lol, checo slander?.
「 AUTHOR'S NOTE 」 — y/n the founder of idgafstan. of course the title comes from one of my favorite frank ocean songs, super rich kids. y/n's dad is like the Lawrence stroll in this au, so she's a nepo baby (not a driver).
liked by maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and 991,531 others! yourusername we don't talk about my boyfriends thighs enough. @maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 MARK L/N IF YOU SEE THIS, THAT WASN'T THE IMAGE / CAPTION WE AGREED ON.. DON'T FIRE ME PLEASE
➥ yourusername BOOO. 🍅🍅 VERTHIGHS SUPREMACY ➥ redbullracing Y/n.. - Mark L/N ➥ yourusername get an actual instagram you old geezer (love you dad)
user loser trapped in a hot girls body
user THESE PHOTOS OF YOUU >>>
user its always vertiddies... but never verthighs </3
➥ yourusername YOU GET IT!! ➥ maxverstapen1 stop obsessing over my thighs. ➥ yourusername you didn't tell me that last night 🤨 ➥ maxverstappen1 Y/NLSMLASJO
user y/n putting her boyfriends job on the line is so funny to me especially when you remember her dad is his boss
➥ user winning the idgaf war fr ➥ user founding mother of idgafstan even
user this is a random combo but not a rando combo but also.. a random combo
user whole time people were shipping her with ethan cutkosky for her to be dating max.. insanity
charles_leclerc ignoring the caption.. and the max photo, you guys are cute! ❤️
➥ yourusername be honest, do yall explore each others bodies after races ➥ charles_leclerc blocked and reported. (NO WE DONT)
landonorris still can't believe i wasn't the first to know about this relationship.. i thought we were friends y/n💔
➥ yourusername i'll give you $3,000 to shut up already ➥ landonorris deal, cash app it to me
redbullracing we don't talk about YOU enough.
➥ redbullracing shit wrong account, don't fire me christian.. or mark. pls. ➥ yourusername I GOT YOUR BACK ADMIN #TRUST. 🫡
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/09dfe2a742963a2be0aead1cabcabc85/b8c4c99c9f2a1f1e-3d/s540x810/f25e948263b3cc6e9fd1ffd8b71383c43c7db18a.jpg)
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, and 1,326,493 others! maxverstappen1 My girlfriend everyone.. <3 @yourusername
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yourusername no fun caption :( i am wounded </3
➥ maxverstappen1 sorry schatz.. i actually like my job to keep it! ➥ yourusername no worries, i'll just post our messages :) ➥ maxverstappen1 Y/N PLEASE NO ➥ user what are these messages...???? HELLO??
user again, loser inside a hot body
user shes so gorgeous sobs
➥ maxverstappen1 I KNOW RIGHT
user idk if i wanna be her or max...
user my favorite nepo baby couple
yourusername WAIT HOLD ON HOW DID THIS GET 1M LIKES BUT MINE GOT LIKE 900K? NAH GIMME MY LIKES BRO.
➥ charles_leclerc you're not as cool as max 🫵🏻 ➥ yourusername oh so you doing the bending?? ➥ charles_leclerc WHAT???
user THE MACBOOK PHOTO ARGHH
user i'm so glad you two ended up together. even though no one was expecting it.
landonorris blink if you're being held captive by this woman
➥ maxverstappen1 😑😐😑.... ➥ yourusername ur fired. ➥ maxverstappen1 You can't fire me, I'm afraid ! ➥ yourusername you're right.. @redbullracing dad, fire this man ➥ redbullracing Unless you're able to find us another driver, No. - Mark & Christian ➥ yourusername CHRISTIAN YOU HAVE AN INSTAGRAM.
user can't wait for the verstappen-l/n family photos
user i say we make y/n the red bull formula 1 team principal
➥ yourusername bad idea cus i'd sabotage sergio too much (allegedly) :/ ➥ schecoperez Oh. ➥ yourusername my bad fam, free dinner spot at my house ig
yourusername hey you're pretty cool, we should like make out in my room or whatever
➥ maxverstappen1 Yeah sure or whatever c'mere gorgeous ➥ user i love you guys sm, pls don't die on friday 💔 ➥ yourusername .. are you the killer?? WHATS GOING ON FRIDAY?? ➥ maxverstappen1 ??? HELLO
yourusername show the verthighs
➥ maxverstappen1 You don't give up do you? ➥ yourusername no and you love it! 😁 ➥ maaxverstappen1 yeah i do 💙
welcome to my first fic! i hope you enjoyed everything :) <3 the faceclaim i used for 'y/n' is meret manon bannerman from katseye! she's gorg. not much i have to say tbh. see you in the next fic —— DELIA.
#୨ৎ. max verstappen.#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x black reader#max verstappen smau#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen fluff#formula 1 x black reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x black reader#formula one x you#formula one smau
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