#this one personally goes out to 5-6th grade me lol

[angel-roses-delight]

digital time ? in the year 2024 ? it's more likely than you think.

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober day 5: Old

For Day 5’s challenge, I brought back what I believe to be my first trans character haha. This will start as cringe plz bear with me. Im copy pasting the Quickie I had planned for a post in my writing blog.

PunchLine: Quickie Summary

Just suddenly grew nostalgic of this story lol. Notes before delving into the plot:

-        I literally started this story’s concept when I was in 5th – 6th grade and first watched Ouran High School Host Club. My kid brain was mad at Haruhi for not taking advantage of her passing as a boy so I made what started as a self-insert oc that gradually transformed into my first trans character ever. Whack, lol.

-        Just a side thing, most of my damn stories have playlists and I swear, All Time Low/All American Rejects songs are exclusively this story’s official soundtrack.

-        The main character’s name is super…. Wow lol. Please bear with me I might change it, just… this was a story I started making when I was 11 and really liked ‘unique’ names instead of conventional ones >X,,D

-        Please have mercy on my tiny weeb soul.

Lolol ok, plot start naw. Keep in mind I was very influenced by anime at this point of my life so I started this in a stereotypical Japanese setting but made it more Americanized over the years. Big oof.

Protagonist (I called em Echo lol) is a hella poor girl living pretty much by herself in a shitty apartment. Her aunt is her caretaker but she’s never home and she doesn’t work. Echo has to work a job herself to make money for food. She has a quiet personality, long, terrible hair with split ends everywhere, and a boxy frame. She works doing lots of manual labor, adding to her poor health.

Because she’s always been quiet, no one knows who she really is. She’s just ‘that poor girl who never talks’,  and they mostly leave her alone. One particularly shitty night however, after getting fired without her pay, she gets caught by some hotshot popular dude and his cronies with her work uniform on. Kids aren’t supposed to work. He takes a picture and threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t follow him. He’s just looking for some easy fun with a docile girl he can make do anything. She’s done being docile.

In true anime fashion she beats the hell out of these dudes, trash talking them the entire time. She’s merciless, bashing them all black and blue until they pass out. Only once everyone but the main instigator is down does she take his phone. “I have back-ups!” The boy exclaims through broken teeth. She looks at him and posts the image onto his feed herself. She’s done going to school anyways. She destroys the phone, laughing, and he loses consciousness. She gets up and dusts herself off.

She had a spectator. Some dude had watched the whole thing from his fancy car. He thinks he could use someone like her.

The following week goes as expected. She’s expelled. Her aunt came to act as a concerned guardian in front of the school but left immediately after. She took Echo’s savings. Echo is laying in her mattress on the floor, pretty much wishing to be dead when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

Oh boy. It’s the spectator dude with two other boys (one of em may end up being cut lol). He has a proposition. She join their prestigious team from some fancy school for something (idk I initially had her join a mob lol but these kids are still in highschool. Maybe their fighting club?) and they’ll pay for her tuition and living expenses. But there’s a catch. The team is boys-only and she has to crossdress. She signs up immediately anyways lol. From now on, she will live as a boy (so I will use he/him pronouns).

Hmm… mayhaps the reason Echo has such a ‘unique’ name is because he chose it himself. Like the edgy teen he is. Cries.

Echo packs his stuff and goes with em. He hears the specifics about his new group. Eric is the leader, who’s father founded the group. He clearly puts on an aura of being tough and in control, but his delivery is too forced. The spectator dude that found Echo is his co-leader, a guy who actually knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t want to overthrow Eric because he thinks it’s funny seeing him struggle. He is a dick lol. Depending on whether or not I’ll use him, the third dude is Eric’s best friend from childhood meant to be the soft one who helps Echo settle at first.

Moving on, I don’t have a coherent timeline of events, just scattered things that will happen. For sure, Eric and Echo keep butting heads, mostly because Eric tries to control Echo and the group as a whole too much, and Echo is like ‘dude, your demanding for perfection only makes me want to screw things up more to show you how unhealthy your expectations are. And also cuz youre cute when you’re mad.’

Eric has a legacy to live up to. He’s the classic worrywart trying to live up to an image and failing. Echo was brazen at first with his trying to mess Eric up, but he softens as he realizes how much it effects Eric. They eventually hear eachother out and come to a compromise. That’s the start of their friendship.

Then, a year later, comes Kimmie. She’s Eric’s childhood crush. She’s short, she’s plump, and she has a rude attitude. Eric’s been a simp for her since he was a kid. He tries way too hard to make her see him as a romantic partner; she’s the reason he grew out his hair when he heard her casually mention she likes it long.

What’s his reason for liking her so much? When they were kids, Eric was plump too, but unlike with her, kids would pick on him because he always just took it. She defended him a lot, and her fiery personality mixed with her ability to hit kids and get away with it made her feared. He idolized her ever since.

She reacts to this as well as you’d imagine a childhood crush staying just a crush is handled. Meaning she clearly sets up walls around him and tells him he’s not interested. Echo, however, catches her eye.

After a P.E session, Kimmie follows Echo to his usual changing place and catches him with his top off. Kimmie knew Echo was a ‘girl.’ Kimmie explains she had seen Echo before his transition. Echo laughs it off, finding her brazenness cute. “So what now? You wanna tell the school?” “… I require you for something actually…”

Kimmie is dating Echo now. Eric is devastated. Kimmie flaunts Echo around like a trophy, breaking many girl’s hearts that had previously asked him out. Echo has to follow her around as a part of their deal, but he doesn’t mind it. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her.

Eric tries to confront him about it along with his friends. Eric’s approach is…. Well… “You’re faking this, right? You don’t like girls, you’re not really a boy!” “Dude, I like what I like. Deal with it.” This response further punches Eric in the gut as everyone laughs nervously.

Some big event comes and Echo is Kimmie’s plus one. Eric doesn’t want to attend it so he stays in the mansion. Echo is feeling the guilt of the situation more with each day that passed. At the event, him and Kimmie have a great time, but when they escape the crowd and are alone, she tries for a kiss. Echo doesn’t proceed. Kimmie is disappointed, but Echo explains.

“I know the real reason you wanted to date me. It’s the same reason you touch my chest so much, why you wanted to see me in a dress, and why you told Eric you like long hair. Kimmie, you like girls.” He steps away from her. “And I can’t be your girlfriend in disguise.”

Kimmie is floored. She begins to cry. Echo is right. She’s a lesbian but she never wanted to accept it. She kept telling herself she’d find the right boy, and when Echo came, it felt so perfect. She thought she could just slip in and pretend that she was straight. But she isn’t.

She apologizes. She says, however, that she truly does like Echo now. Echo sighs and rubs their neck. “You can’t like me Kimmie… I’m not…” Kimmie thinks it through. “But… you were a girl before! The only reason you’re dressed like this is because of the contract!” “Yeaaaah… but I kinda like it now. This feels…. Better. More me.” Echo grins with confidence. “I’m a man now.”

Kimmie takes Echo’s figure in and sighs. “Ew. I can’t be date a man.” They laugh and break up, Echo going back home. Kimmie returns to the party and is spotted by one of Eric’s friends. He asks where Echo is and she tells him everything. Echo is going home, him and Kimmie just broke up. The friend tells Kimmie some comforting words before running away to the hall to call Eric and tell him the good news. Kimmie is available again, and he can be more aggressive this time!

Eric is slumped in the couch after binging Netflix and eating a pint of icecream. When he hears the news, his mind is stuck on only one piece of information. Echo is coming back home. Instead of feeling happy about Kimmie being available again, Eric realizes Echo is coming back after a break up. His worrywart tendencies has him picturing a comedically sobbing Echo, ruthlessly broken up with by Kimmie, wondering how he could continue to live without her. He cleans up the couch and by the time Echo enters, he’s saved him a spot on the couch and his own pint of icecream. Echo laughs but sits right beside him, accepting the comfort, even if Eric doesn’t know the full story. They have a nice night together, and by the morning, Kimmie’s sexuality is revealed thanks to a picture she posted in her social media celebrating with a girl she kissed.

She’s officially out and happier for it. Eric congratulates her when they run into eachother in the hallway. She’s surprised he’s not as sad as she expected him to be, but she’s touched by how genuinely kind he’s being to her. They stay friends, and even get closer thanks to Kimmie now putting her walls down again.

Movin on to another story event, Eric’s mom has been away for most of Echo’s stay, but she comes back. Eric has made it clear that Echo should stay away from her, and never let her know his transition. She somehow finds out thanks to some mishaps anyways. When the contract is revealed, she is ASTOUNDED that her boy would force a GIRL to live as a MAN. She’s putting a stop to this! She takes Echo away for a weekend spa treatment, girling Echo up, talking over him through the whole thing, never listening to his complaints and only reassuring herself that Echo is safe now and free to be pretty and feminine once more! It’s the proper way!

Needless to say Echo is uncomfortable.

The more Eric’s mom talks about herself and her own life, it’s clear that her way of thinking stems from some issues she had as a kid, being forced to work and to give up feminine things, but Echo doesn’t feel like she did at all. And though Echo enjoys some of the spa things, and doesn’t much mind being put in a dress, he just… prefers a suit. Would rather stay at home training with the group. Would rather keep his hair short as opposed to the length Eric’s mom proposes him to grow it at. It’s a bunch of little things, but they culminate in solidifying to Echo… he just wants to stay a boy. He’s not being forced to be one. He genuinely likes it.

When they return from their trip, Echo is in a skirt and heels. He is dolled up with professional make up and styled hair. The group ogles him, but as comments get thrown around about how good Echo looks as a girl, Eric can’t feel the same. He just feels it’s too… off. He doesn’t bring it up, he’s afraid he’ll hurt Echo’s feelings. All his mom’s mutterings got to him, and Eric feels guilty for forcing Echo to live as a man. 

During dinner, he reassures his mom and Echo that they can get rid of the contract and Echo can live in their house and attend their school clause free.

Echo stops him right there.

“I don’t want to be a girl. I’m a boy.”

Eric and his mom are confused. They try to reassure Echo, but Echo continues. “No. No offence ma’am, but all weekend, you have talked over me, never listening to what I have to say. I don’t want to be a girl. I am not like you. I do not share your experiences nor your desires. I like being a boy. I like being called a boy. I like dressing like a boy. I want to be known as a boy.”

Echo gets up.

“I’m going to go change now. But before I go, I want to keep the contract. I have no problem with any of the conditions.” Echo looks at Eric and smiles. “I like being a part of the group and competing with you guys.” He’s flustered by his sincerity. Echo leaves. For the rest of the day, Echo is unbothered in his room, but when night comes, Eric goes up to bring him some food.

Echo didn’t really wash off the make up very good (damn that high quality stuff), and his hair is a mess. But he’s in comfortable clothes and he brings in Eric so they can hang. They talk about trivial stuff at first, spend an hour playing a game, and when it’s 3am, Eric gathers the guts to talk about it. That he’s glad Echo stood up for himself, and he sees him as a boy too. Echo bursts into laughter, teasing Eric.

“So that’s what you were so nervous about. I thought you were planning to ask me on a date.” More flustered Eric. “W-Why would I-“ Echo gives him a half hug that stops him, hiding his own blushing face. “Thanks…” Eric hugs him back. It’s yet another sweet moment before they finally get together…. In some other event in the future mwahahaha. Idk, I haven’t decided yet when they confess and actually start going out ;p cries.

Welp, there ya go. This is a story I still cringe at because of how anime it starts but damn these chars got me. I love Echo, Eric and Kimmie ;o; I’m sorry I’m a sucker v-v

[dysphoric-dumbass13]

guess what bitch. all of the flower asks. if i have to do it, you have to do it

Hahaha, love you too. Asshole.

Alisons: Sexuality? - Hahahaha bold of you to assume I have any clue. I like girls. I like guys. I like nonbinary people. And other people on the spectrum. I’m not pan, idk what though. Plus the label doesn’t really matter.

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? - I’m a demiboy, so he/him/his or they/them/theirs. Whichever, it doesn’t really matter. Though I personally feel more masculine.

Amaryllis: Birthday? - Today lol (January 13th)

Anemone: Favorite flower? - Would it be cliche and stupid to say roses? Because those. Weirdly.

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? - Damn that’s hard. Between BBC Sherlock, BBC Merlin, Supernatural, Once Upon A Time, and John Mulaney (shut up it counts)

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? - It really depends on the situation. I would give away clothing, risk my life, give them shelter in my home, allow them to borrow my phone, but them lunch... I’d do a lot for anyone. Even though I have trust issues.

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? - “Yeah, the asshole who sent me this (love you alex)” - @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth lmao. Truly though? “Your destiny is calling, you better find out what he wants.” and “A half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole.”, both from Merlin, about Merlin and Arthur. They're just so gay.

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? - Tea.

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - Meh. Sure. I don’t really care. The one right before that by like 10 seconds, 100%.

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? - Yes. Oh god yes.

Baneberries: Favorite song? - Literally impossible. You are insane.

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. - A disaster. Both biological and chosen. I have 3 little brothers in my chosen family and all of them are younger than me.

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? - I have 5. The bitch who sent me this (love you), Evan, TJ, Shiro, and Sid.

Begonia: Favorite color? - Bloodred and black.

Bellflower: Favorite animal? - Wolves. They’re amazing.

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? - I’m not a person. But mornings fuck me up dude.

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? - A dodo bird. Because they’re all dead.

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? - So many things. A lead singer of a band (which I might get to do soon, yay), a policeman, an fbi agent, a photographer, etc. 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? - I love them, I’d probably adopt older children because they need it the most, but I love children so much.

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? - I answered this earlier, “I am afraid of spiders. Because they have so many legs and so many eyes and THEY DON’T FUCKING NEED ALL OF THEM LIKE WTF?!?!?!?!?!”

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. - About 75% of the food my brother and I ate was Ramen, Pop Tarts, and instant rice.

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? - With the people I love the most.

Buttercup: Relationship status? - Sadly single :(

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? - Ireland. Without a doubt. It’s so beautiful.

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? - I answered this one too. “When I’m cuddling with someone I care about while watching one of my favorite shows or movies. Or just when I’m cuddling someone I care about. And yes, that includes my puppy. (Funny joke, I’m watching Merlin while watching Merlin) (Merlin is my puppy).”

Canna: Do you have any tattoos? - Sadly no. I will though.

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? - Two in each ear.

California Poppy: Height? - 5′3½″

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? - Yeah.

Carnation: What are you currently wearing? - Jeans and a flannel, as always.

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? - Yes.

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? - Sid. He’s the best, honestly.

Chrysanthemum: Who was the last person you kissed? - TJ. He’s basically my brother. The person before that was Shiro, and both of those were New Years Day at like midnight.

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? - Calligraphy. It’s so fun to write in. But in computers, Times New Roman for some reason.

Columbine: Are you tired? - *in Snape’s voice* Alllllllways

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? - A good night’s sleep for once.

Coneflower: Dream job? - Lead singer of a rock band, which I’ll probably get to do soon!

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? - Extrovert, definitely.

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? - This question was already asked. But yes.

Crown Imperial: What’s the furthest you’d go for someone you care about? - To the ends of the Earth.

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? - Yes. It was a huge stuffed cheetah. Now it’s a giant stuffed bear from Evan.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? - Capricorn. I was supposed to be an Aquarius. And I personally think I’m an Aquarius more than a Capricorn.

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? - Not really. Other than date people.

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? - I don’t fucking know. Winning the school spelling bee in 5th grade?

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? - I wouldn’t care. If I love them and they love me, that’s all that matters to me.

Dandrobium: Who is the last person you said “I love you” to? - Sid I think.

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? - Idk. Singing?

Foxgloves: What is something you’re bad at? - Everything.

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened to you in the last month? - I got a puppy, I got my binder, I gave my (now ex) girlfriend the best gift I’ve ever given in my life.

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? - Considering all I’ve done is watched Merlin, type this, and cuddle with Merlin? Pretty good.

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you're at in your life? - Nope.

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? - Die :)

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? - In no particular order: @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth, Evan, TJ, Shiro, Sid, Merlin, BBC Merlin, Sherlock, Supernatural, Harry Potter

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? - Healthily? Dying my hair, listening to music, reading, writing, and getting hugs.

Hellebore: How do you show your affection? - Many ways. Mostly hand hearts, gifts, trust, and hugs.

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? - My flannel collection. I don’t know the exact number but it’s immense.

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. - cuddling with my friends while watching shows and movies and reading.

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time? - Read. Write. Listen to music. Watch TV. Cuddle.

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them? - ok gimme a sec.

@eyeforaneye-toothforatooth: They hated me when we met. We’ve known each other for... 3 or 4 years? We met in science in 6th grade I think.

Evan: We met in 6th grade. They noticed we had the same flannel on and commented on it. I hated them for like 2 years. Then we became friends, dated, now we’re best friends. I love them so much.

TJ: He was a friend of my best friend’s friend. Started hanging out in 7th grade, been like brothers ever since.

Shiro: Barely knew each other, then kinda “met” in 8th grade. Quickly became friends, dated, became best friends ever since.

Sid: Met him in SAGA this year. He bought me a binder, he’s the kindest person to me at my new school. I love him so much.

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? - I can talk to @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth about practically everything. I love them so much.

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? - Surprisingly a lot.

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? - Idk. “You look very handsome today.”?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? - What an utter piece of garbage.

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? - My eyebrows? Idk they look cool, especially when I do them. One’s got a slit.

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? - All of it.

Lilac: What is something you liked to do as a child? - Sleep. When I could.

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? - It changed at least once every year. Paige, Sheyenne, Peyton, Chloe, the list goes on.

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty of? - I followed everyone in kinda making fun of this kid who was a trans girl. I felt so guilty about it then, and I feel so guilty about it now. I hope she is living her best life now, and if she’s reading this I want her to know I am so so sorry. And I have felt it too, I have been made fun of for my gender identification. I am so sorry.

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? - Idk. There’s one thing I’m sworn not to tell about but the person who asked me this knows, so it doesn’t matter.

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? - My deadname? Means “grace of god”, because my family is very Christian. My chosen name? Means “Defender of men; protector of mankind.” Which is honestly just so badass. I chose it because I liked it and it was genderneutral.

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. - Fort Collins, Colorado babyyyyyyyyy. It was nice and peaceful and small and I loved it.

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? - Small. Always a disaster. Sadly shared with my brother.

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? - So far? Sucky as fuck. I hate it. I love my friends, but other than that I hate it. I’m only like halfway through them anyway. It’s been spent trying to prove to my parents that I am just as good as my brother, who I happened to raise.

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom. - Awesome. Sweet and kind, short, with red hair, hazel eyes, and freckles. She’s caring, and she was raised in a Christian house but she’s trying so hard to be accepting, to fight against her religion for her child and I love that so much. I love her so much.

Onions: Tell about your dad. - Kinda annoying. Plays video games all day and makes my brother and I do everything around the house. He tries to be nice and stuff but it really doesn’t work that well. He basically says he “doesn’t care” about the whole sexuality thing and gender thing and then he says stuff like “you can’t really know til your hormones have settled” and “Your name is your name until you can legally change it.” It’s stupid.

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. - Which ones? I have multiple. I have 4 grandmas and 4 grandpas. Tho I suppose they’re all pretty similar. Very Christian, yet pretty accepting. They love me to death. I have one super transphobic grandpa, but basically all of them helped me raise my brother when I was little and my dad was asleep from working nights and my mom was at work all day. I owe them a lot. And I love them so much.

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it so memorable? - My 12th. My best friend Val was there and so was my friend Tei and that was it, and they basically got along too well and I was really left out of things at my own birthday party. It was annoying. It was the first time I ever felt true jealousy, and that’s why I remember it so well. I haven’t liked a birthday since because it reminds me of that. I used to like it because it was a day when my parents actually payed attention to me and were off, but now everyone makes too big of a deal of it and I just wish it didn’t exist.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? - SAGA club, he founded it a couple years ago. He’s super kind to me and he does so much for me, god I don’t deserve him. He bought me a binder. And he’s my best friend. I love him so much.

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? - Healthily? Getting hugs and cuddles from my better friends. I can’t really do much of that lately though. *cries in a corner*

Pink: Where is home? - With the family and friends I’ve found.

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? - Wow. Hard choice. I’d either kill Hitler as a baby, or prevent my own conception.

Prarie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. - Sid if you’re reading this I am so sorry, and I’m so sorry for mentioning you so much. But I look up to him, because he is one of the best people I know. I love him so much. He’s sweet and just sadncaspdnnhciodsifcnsjxsojcm.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. - Idc what’s going on in it, as long as it’s with my found family and friends. I’d like my depression, anxiety, and ADHD to disappear though, ideally.

Rhondendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? - Jesus. Or life. Either one works.

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? - That’s hard. @eyeforaneye-toothforatooth, Sid, Evan, TJ, Shiro, Freddie Mercury, Elton John, or David Bowie (may Mercury and Bowie rest in peace)

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? - Music. Definitely music.

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? - When I was at our first organized rehearsal for OneActs. I just love hanging out with so many fellow gays (and yes, I am including the straight twink that is Simon)

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? - Um, I don’t want to go into detail on that. I was 5. It was bad.

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? - A boyfriend lol

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? - Depends. In a relationship? Pretty easy. Any other time? Near impossible until I break.

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine your life without? - There’s 3. Pie, music, and my brother TJ.

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? - I doped myself up on melatonin so about 7½. Usually its between 1 and 4, if I’m lucky enough to fall asleep.

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? - The people I care most about. My best friends. Also the reason I don’t stab myself through the heart. They keep me going. I love them all so much. They mean too much to me to hurt them, if I could in any way.

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? - Living or school? Either one I hate it. I don’t have an actual job.

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? - My flannels. Or my band tees. Or my leather jacket from TJ.

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. - I don’t fully know what this is asking. I guess the smell of worn flannel, old worn leather, grease from a car, hair dye, smudged eyeliner, and conjoined lips? Idk.

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? - Idk. Best present I’ve ever recieved was a binder. But I’d say worn flannel from a thrift store.

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? - Grandparents spamming my phone with “Happy Birthday [deadname]!!!” texts

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the last few months? What were they called? - Idk dude.

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? - Dead or with a partner.

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? - Oddly enough, no. But I don’t think I want to.

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. - I have green eyes.

Kass I hate you.

[doctorgerth]

o shit waddup

Hey, guys! Hope you’re all doing well today. I’m chilling at home, relaxing and working on some requests during my day off! I hope to get a good bit out for you guys today!

In the meantime, I wanted to give you guys a little info about me just because I feel weird not properly introducing myself to you all! If you’re not interested in getting to know me, I completely understand, I’m boring af lol but here’s some info on me. I’ll put it under “keep reading” since it is a bit long!

Name: You are more than welcome to call me Doc, as some of you have already! For a personal name, you can call me Coop. That’s what I’ve been referred to as the most on here and irl, but I will respond to either :) I’ll probably never reveal my real name on here, so don’t bother asking. Can’t have my true identity revealed!

Zodiac//MBTI: Cancer, INFJ

Age: I am currently 21, will be 22 on July 12th!

Brief Appearance: Uh, I have green eyes, long dirty-blonde hair (lots of ppl argue that I’m actually a brunette but I don’t think so) and I’m 5′9″ (1.753 meters). No tattoos, though I want to get at least one some day! Only piercings I have are my ears. I’m really basic looking lol 

Location: I reside in the hell fire that is the United States - a lot of you are from literally anywhere else, so I apologize if my blog seems too English driven for you? Or if my humor goes beyond your heads lol I completely understand. But, I’m willing to work through any language barriers with you if you’re willing to work with me!

School: I attend a university here in my state. I’m a senior, but I have one more semester left this fall before I intern! I’m studying Elementary Education, with a goal to teach grades 3rd-6th! 

Pets: I have two cats - a tuxedo cat named Percy and an orange tabby named Ace! He’s actually my boyfriend’s cat, but I claim Ace as mine too lol 

Work: Since you always hear me talking about work I figured I’d at least mention what I do. I currently work part-time at a grocery store where I take your money and bag your groceries lol. Tbh, it’s way better than working fast food, People are way nicer to me here than they were when I worked at Dairy Queen.

Fav Artists: Yo, this is honestly super hard considering my taste in music varies so greatly. Some of my current favs include: Marina, Lana del Rey, Billie Eilish, LANY, Florence and the Machine, Sam Smith, Hozier, Troye Sivan, Panic! at the Disco, and honestly sooooo many more 

One Piece: Soooo I absolutely refused to watch OP in the beginning because I was severely uninterested. My boyfriend practically made me one day and honestly I can’t thank him enough because I am now obsessedddd. So, I started OP back in like November of 2017, I officially caught up in the anime in February 2019! So it took like 1 year + 3 months to watch the whole thing (casual watching with only a few binges) and then I picked up where the anime left off in the manga so I am currently caught up in the manga as well!

Other Anime: I’m still new to the anime world, so I really haven’t seen a ton yet. Currently watching Black Clover! Other than that I have seen My Hero Academia, Bungo Stray Dogs, Seven Deadly Sins, and Assassination Classroom (not caught up). 

Random Facts: I play clarinet in my college’s marching/concert bands. I’m the oldest of three siblings. I love travelling and experiencing new places. I really enjoy fishing and kayaking or just being on the water in general! I’m obsessed with Disney World. 

Why I started this blog: Honestly, it’s just for fun! I’ve been perusing around tumblr looking at other OP blogs for a whileeee now, and after the help of some friends, I got the confidence to start my own! I used to write All Time Low, One Direction, and 5SOS fanfictions on Wattpad OOF so I’ve been in the ff game for a lil while now

Why Doctor Gerth?: Tbh there’s no major reason since we haven’t seen a whole lot of her in OP. I just thought she was a really unique character to use for tumblr considering not many ppl know her. When I saw her in the cover art, I was like, ‘this is what i would want to look like if i were in op’ so I just kinda went with that! I love that she’s a giant and a doctor! Reminds me of how tall I am and how I love to help people lol she just seems like a really sweet yet badass character and i love it. For those who don’t know, she is a doctor for the New Giant Warrior Pirates! She also knew Big Mom when they were both children.

Shoutouts: I’m feeling a lil emotional today, realizing just how quickly and easily I’ve made friends and supporters on here! I just want to give them a shout out cuz i love these kind souls.

@all-blue-headcanons

@doflomingos-glasses

@nightshine629

@thefreedomisouronlyrule-op (@rule987)

@laws-hat-headcanons (@arkanfire)

@madlymiho

@morikawahotaruotakuhime

@inma-r

@pinkhatlizzy

Thank you all so much for continuously supporting me and inspiring me! Without you guys, I probably never would have stuck to this blog, let alone even start it! Thanks for letting me fangirl and discuss OP with you constantly. And thanks for giving me ideas on stuff and helping me write OCs! It’s not much, but I just want to let you guys know how much you mean to me!! <3

And there you have it. Bless you if you managed to read all the way through this mess! Thank you all for sticking with me through this dumpster fire of a blog. I look forward to forming friendships with more of you guys in the future! Never be too shy to message me! If you have any further questions about me, feel free to ask. Now, I’m gonna stop distracting myself and get to work! x

- Doc

[transgender-scout]

Okay I found a pdf online of the Angel experiment and started reading it last night when I couldn’t sleep. It turned into less of a list of me complaining and more of a reaction as I relived my life in 6th grade. I’ve got the first four chapters + the prologue so I’ll do 5 chapters at a time. To keep from clogging dashes I’m going to drop this bad boy under the cut.

Book 1:

Prologue

•Oh my god I actually missed these prologues where the protagonist talks so dramatically to the reader like this. Gives me a real animorphs vibe hell yeah

•OH MY GOD 14 I USED TO THINK THAT WAS SO OLD WHAT HAPPENED

•WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO RELEASE A LITERAL CHILD INTO THE WORLD LIKE THIS

•God I’m losing it this sounded like a deviant art bio

•Oh god I see where I got my flare for dramatic introductions

•It always bothered me that they’re only 2% bird. I feel like that might have given them some patches of feathers maybe instead of wings and improved hearing and sight and strength and metabolism an

•There it is again-“the only experiments to make it past infancy” I have a couple of books’ worth of proof that says that’s wrong. Yeah sure Max probably didn’t know about everything that was going on at the school but don’t sound so definitive about this. What is this, supernatural?

•Also why were the Erasers the only ones who could morph? Wouldn’t it be better to have wings that could morph into your back?? More useful???

•Also I hope the internet taught them about furries so they could make snide jokes tinged with nervous laughter about how Erasers are furries.

•“Welcome to our nightmare” GOD THAT'S SO 2005

•I still have no idea what Max meant by “if you read this story, you become part of the experiment.” I don’t see any wings popping out of my back, Miss, I’d like a refund.

Chapter 1

•GODDD NOW I SEE WHERE I GET MY WRITING STYLE I HATE THISSS

•Also still not sure what the whole point of this dream sequence was besides padding out a first chapter (which honestly? Mood). Any insight?

•W-if the Erasers are chasing after Max, why the fuck do they have bloodhounds? Isn’t wolf smelling on par, if not better than dogs’?? I understand this is a dream but like. Yo.

•Everyone always draws Max’s wings like eagle wings and they’re even colored like that in the manga, but the wiki says they resemble hawk wings. Hm.

Chapter 2

•Also the E shaped house always bugged me, too. The way it sounds, it’s not secluded by trees or anything, but Max says they’re totally hidden?? Surely someone goes hiking in the mountains around there.

•Ah yes. Jeb. Bastard man.

•Wait did he just. Fuckin up and leave? Like in the middle of the night like “bye kids gonna go get some milk” and never came back? How fucked up is that?

•And how the fuck did he expect three 12 year olds to take care of a 9 year old, a 6 year old, and a 4 year old by themselves??

•No doctors. Is Max part of the anti vaxx movement? Surely the folks at the lab weren’t like “well obviously they need all their shots if they’re to function normally in society and not die of chickenpox.”

•Also I like how dramatically this chapter ends. He literally could have kept going djsjfjsfn

Chapter 3

•Why is Gazzy a walking potty humor joke? That literally comes into play once in like the third to last book. #GiveGazzyTheCharacterDevelopmentHeDeserves2k19

•I forgot if this was mentioned but how do they know Gazzy and Angel are siblings? Is it just because they look similar?

•IGGY. SON.

•Also I’m remembering every page from the manga in like super high definition rn

•I saw someone else discuss this, but where in the fuck do they get food from?? Max makes it sound like she’s never gone into real society before and a 14 year old buying at least $1000 worth of groceries every week seems super sketch to literally any place ever.

•It always struck me as weird that Angel likes cozy places considering she lived in a dog crate for the first few years of her life.

•It’s so weird to me that literally the only person who got powers was Angel. The rest develop their (single use) powers along the way whenever it was convenient but I guess she just started out with hers? Idk I literally have no room to talk tho one of my ocs has inexplicable mind reading powers too lol

Chapter 4

•JDJSFJ THE CONVO AB THE STRAWBERRIES IS SO SHORT AND FORCED FJSJFJSJK I know it’s just to start the plot but shakfjajfjwj???

•CHAPTER 4 IS LITERALLY A PARAGRAPH LONG WHAT IN THE HELL

•Oh also why don’t they ever use Gazzy’s voice mimic thing?? JP could have made things where it was voice locked but Gazzy could have had a personality and been like “yo guys I got this!”

•Also how in the world can an 8 year old perfectly mimic a 14 year old’s voice? I’m guessing it’s an implied bird thing maybe.

•“Most of us had [weird abilities].” LITERALLY ONLY TWO OF YOU DO.

Chapter 5

•Oof trained? I can see why Jeb would train the kids to fight but like,,, yikes. Those are literal babies,,,,, plss

•Also I thought it was weird how they could just clap their hands around the Eraser’s ears and their eardrums would just fuckin pop. Do wolves really work like that? Someone who knows more about wolves than me look that up.

•Honestly?? The flock should have tons of scars n shit from all the times they’ve fought the Erasers. I’d really have liked to hear them come up at some point.

•Was there a reason they only wanted Angel or…? It’s been a long time since I read the series. From what Max was saying, pretty much half flock was out cold and would have been easy pickings for the Erasers to take back to the lab.

•Well the one thing I can say is that at least Ari is acting like a jealous seven year old.

•Lowkey wish there’d been more time to establish Ari, in hindsight. While we do get his view point in later books, we still really didn’t even get to know much about him. I’m not sure if that was for a reason or just a character who didn’t get developed. I wish there had at least been a name drop or something in the priori chapters like “I’m pretty sure Jeb had a son. Wonder where he went. Oh well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

•Also I forgot again but was there a reason Jeb didn’t bring Ari along?? Like, he couldn’t have done the same things as the flock, sure, but at least he would be there with his dad and like, other kids near his age to interact with. Did we ever get any info ab Ari’s mom? Again, shitty memory.

[purplesurveys]

459

Ok I’m sorry but these name surveys have turned out to be loadsa fun for me so let me just take another one lmaooooo. 

I honestly find it therapeutic since it allows me to reflect and look back on all of the people I’ve crossed paths with before, whether for better or for worse :) Sorry if I’ll repeat names/explanations, I’ll do my best to remember more stuff about them!

aaron: Already mentioned this in the last survey, but he’s a part of my high school friend group. He was one of my first guy friends ever and he was very nice to me from the very beginning; always made sure I felt like I belonged in a crowd. Also studies in UP and I think he is taking up sports science because he wants to go on to med school. abby/abbey: This is my mom’s name. She goes by the first spelling. I know an Abby from high school; she studies in La Salle now. adam: I don’t know him personally but there used to be a dude from WhatCulture Wrestling (a popular YouTube channel) named Adam – he was my favorite to watch until he got caught in a major fuck-up and was booted from the group. adel adrienne ajee

ajla alan: I have an uncle named Allan. He was part of my dad’s friend group in college; they met each other in their org. He was in every birthday party when I was a kid, but I don’t see him anymore now because his family already migrated somewhere else. alex: Broad comm student who plays the guitar and sings well; I haven’t talked to her. I also knew an Alex from 6th grade and she was just...not a very bright student. She had to move because I don’t think her grades reached the standard in my school, and now I think she lives in California. If not there, then somewhere else in the States. Alex is a fairly common name here, though, and I know I’ve missed out on a bunch of other Alexes.

alexa: Again, another girl from high school. Was a cool girl and a party girl from the very start. Like I said in my past survey, she lives in Australia now. alexis alexzandria alicia: My friend Alliyah’s boss, who she has a huge crush on, is named Alicia but she goes by Alice. alisa allie/ally: Gossiping fake loser from our rival journ org who does nothing but spread black propaganda about our org to keep people from joining ours – when she talks to us, though, she’s super nice. I’m so fucking happy she’s graduating because she has such a toxic personality :(  allison: Former prof in Comm 100. Wasn’t very good but I had a crush on her from the very first lecture. She had a serious car accident in the middle of the sem and had to wear like a nose brace thing for the rest of the sem. alycea/alycia alyssa: I rode the school bus with a girl named Alyssa but I was much closer to her older sister Alex. There’s also an Alyssa from broad comm and I was classmates with her in my political science, history, and broad comm classes for this semester. She’s the niiiiiiiicest girl and would always help me out if I have missing notes or whatever. amanda: Girl from my org who’s taking up engineering. I was her VP last semester, but she had personal problems and so she wasn’t able to work much under me. Whenever she did, though, she was always reliable. Quiet girl, a little socially awkward. amari amber andrew: I first met him at a rally/protest I attended in 2017. Hit it off well right from the start because I saw that he was wearing a wrestling shirt, so we bonded over WWE that day. He plays the guitar and has released his own EP, is a junior DJ at one of the hip radio stations in Manila, and has done his fair share of hosting gigs. He used to take up engineering but shifted to journalism as he likes it better. Is very adventurous and amiable but tends to get too friendly; some might find it tiring but I honestly think it’s just his personality. He was my groupmate in communication research and I thought he was decent. angela: My best friend’s name is Angela. We first met each other in Grade 1 when we were 7, and we became friends after I stabbed her palm with a newly-sharpened pencil. She still has the pencil mark today. anna: Anna is a popular secondary name in the Philippines, but no one actually uses it as their main name. anne: Same with Anne. annie: My grandma’s best friend who used to come over the house every Sunday. Like I said in the past survey, I’m honestly not sure if she’s still alive lol. She was already pretty old when I was still very young. anthony aasad ashley: I *think* I have a distant cousin named Ashley that I first met at a family reunion last year. But let’s be real, Filipino families are huge and I don’t even know if I remember her name correctly, if she’s even an Ashley. aubri: One of my closest friends in high school was Aubrey. We were very, very close in junior year until she dropped a bomb on me that her family was migrating to California by the time we start senior year. We don’t talk anymore because of the distance and the timezones, but I’ll always be there for her no matter what. Incredibly talented dancer and figure skater. She’s in UCLA right now and as far as I know she is killing it over there. austin autumn: I know an Autumn from my wrestling fandom days. I think she was a redhead, but I don’t remember anything else. barbara becca: A girl from broad comm. She was one of the principal actors in one of the productions we did for BC and she has a really cute laugh. Super elegant; she reminded me a little bit of Audrey Hepburn because she was really graceful. She’s the older sister of my orgmate Rita, who’s from psych. ben beth bethany betty: I have a friend-ish named Bettina. Betty’s kind of like a goofy nickname; she actually doesn’t use it but I think it still counts. I’ve known her since first grade; she peed her skirt in our first day of Grade 1 and I remember her crying a lot. She had a wild TV show phase starting from Grade 5 and she was into Nicole Kidman, Paula Abdul, Kara DioGuardi, Shania Twain, Celine Dion, Stana Katic, Kate Walsh, etc etc etc and a bunch of shows like Private Practice, Grey’s Anatomy, Castle, Suits etc etc etc. She was super shy, very awkward in person so I’m glad her love of TV shows and actresses sprung her into life for the most part. She’s in UP Manila and I think too busy to get into fandoms now. bijan bobby bram brandon brandy breanna/brianna: Brianna is my friend Pat’s middle name. I honestly used to be so envious of this name of hers because I thought it sounded really nice, but now I think it kinda sounds like a bratty name hahaha. brendan brian: I have an uncle named Bryan, but we aren’t related. He’s my mom’s cousin’s husband. He’s VERY shy and likes to keep to himself or his kids at family gatherings but turns really cool when he’s had a little to drink. brittany/brittney/brittni brock brooke bruce buck cameron camille: Nice girl from my childhood school bus. There’s an unofficial norm in private schools in that when you’re older, you get to be mean to the younger kids. Not her. She was always nice and include us second graders in her antics in the bus, even though she was several years older. I was bummed when I found out they moved to the States. candy carina: I used to ride the school bus with a Carina but she was much younger. I was already in high school when she was in kindergarten. She’s the younger sister of Carissa, who I always found to be pretty weird. Anyway, these girls were clearly rich and pampered; they had a nanny ride with us in the bus. carly: I had an Internet friend named Carley; she was my first online best friend. We met here on Tumblr in like 2012 and got close because we were both huge fans of Stephanie McMahon at the time haha. We would video-call EVERY afternoon when I would come home from school while she would get ready for school (she’s from Pennsylvania). Eventually she’d disappear off the face of the earth and stopped talking to me but resurfaced a few months later. She’d continue to do this like 10 other times until I got tired of getting my hopes up of having her back. She’s tried reconnecting with me again on DMs but I just ignored it cos I knew there was a good chance she’d just cut off our communication again. We’re still Facebook friends and she’d pop up on my news feed from time to time, but that’s it. carol: I have a great-aunt named Carol. But my grandma has so many sisters that I honestly do not remember which one she is. carrie cassandra: I had a batchmate named Kassandra, who went by Kasey. Really bright, sweet, intelligent girl. She moved to Singapore in 7th grade. She was very, very simple and very kind to everyone and you wouldn’t be able to tell that she’s crazy rich. Her dad’s a top exec for a famous food and drink company and she lives in the same village I do–their house is guarded 24/7. cassidy chantel charlotta chelsie: Chelsea’s part of our high school friend group and is also crazy rich. We always hung out at her place because her house is huge. She’s very maarte, which I cannot really translate to English...the closest term is probably high maintenance hahaha; but she’s very sweet and generous and kind too. cheryl chris: One of Gabie’s best friend is a Kris. Other than liking outdoorsy stuff like going to the beach and hiking which is all I know about her, I think she’s also half-American. christopher: I have an uncle with this name but like I said his nickname is Perry. He works abroad like my dad (his brother-in-law) and my dad’s sister (his sister-in-law). cienna clare: Guidance counselor for several grade school levels. Understandably, she is very maternal. I once had a nasty fight with another girl and we had to be sent to her office. clarissa: Went to school with a Clarisa. We first met in Grade 4 because she rode my school bus, and instantly clicked. She was very nice, very sweet; she was simple to the point that, like Kasey, you’d have no clue how rich she was. She lives in a huge mansion now but she lived in a huge house before that as well, it’s crazy. Really, really sweet and she would give the best hugs. I played table tennis a lot with her in high school too. She studies in Miriam now but I’m not so sure about her course. claudia: Already said a lot about her in the last survey. Popular girl her whole life. She still goes to a bunch of parties but she is so much nicer now than she was when we were younger. cody cole collin corey corinne: One of my former teachers named her daughter Corinne. I think she’s 8 this year. courtney crissy: Chrissy was one of my very best friends in preschool and grade school. She looked Chinese even though she had a Filipino-sounding surname, and I was never sure if she had Chinese blood or not. She was boyish so she was very rowdy, liked to play rough, and punched other girls if she got pissed; but other than that she was very quiet and shy. She was constantly on the basketball team too. Eventually her family moved to Canada. crystal dallas dan danielle danika: An orgmate that worked under my committee two semesters ago. She’s from business ad and was juggling another org so she wasn’t very active at all to begin with. Her performance just plummeted every month and she ended up ghosting my org last semester–never replied to anyone when we tried to check up on her. I was very mad at her until she restarted contact with us recently and explained how tumultuous stuff suddenly got in her personal life and mental health that she had to take care of herself for a while, which we all understood immediately. She’s coming back to the org this year and we’re more than ready to welcome her. She’s very charming, goofy, and kind. She has a very life-of-the-party personality haha. danny: I have a friend-ish named Dani that I met through Angela. We all sat at the same table during the senior ball at Ateneo in 2016 so we got to talk then. She played volleyball in high school and she studies in San Beda now. She wants to take up law school so I think her course is in political science.  darious david: Pat’s boyfriend from Serbia and Patrice’s boyfriend from economics HAHAHAHA. Also a sucky groupmate from my comm res class who did absolutely nothing to contribute in the final paper that Hannah and I worked our asses so hard for. dean deanglo derrick destiny devin dillon donna dwayne [Random survey-taker note: these are all very Western names...] emie emily eric: My godfather is an Eric. Like my Tito Allan, he also met my dad through their college org. He’s an exec in a bank now and is suuuuuuper rich. Has a daughter named Arya which he could’ve named after the GoT character but am not really sure about that. everette felicia gabby: Wildly popular name. 1) My girlfriend’s name is Gabie; 2) there was another Gaby in my high school batch. 3) I have a friend from the Tumblr wrestling fandom named Gabbie who was really good in Photoshop – we study in the same school but have never met each other. 4) I have a high school batchmate whose little sister is a Gaby, annnnnddd I also just remembered that 5) there was another Gabbi in the wrestling fandom who also made good edits at the time. gerald gina guliana gloria: Do last names count? Hahaha. Gloria is the surname of my instructor in my class in international relations just this past sem. He’s a new faculty member but is craaaazy good at teaching; clearly knows what he’s talking about. He was passionate about his subject and I always admired that about him. I was really sad when class had to end. grace: I have a great-aunt named Grace; he’s my late grandpa’s sister. She’s really...quite fabulous; she has connections with super prestigious people and has a fancy wardrobe. She’s the only Filipino grandmother I know who goes by ‘Nana’ to her grandkids, which I note because Nana is like a super Western thing afaik. She has drama queen tendencies though and can be sensitive to a lot of things lmao. gracie hannah: One of the close friends I’ve made in college so far! Our first meeting was when she and Macy moved from UP Los Banos to the Diliman campus (where I study) and the three of us enrolled in our classes together. I was closer to Macy first, but eventually me and Hannah got a stronger friendship. Best groupmate, workmate, and David Archuleta fan I know. Sings great and plays the piano great. An absolute angel. hasan hawa hayley: I only know a dog named Hailey lol. heather: Someone from my high school batch is a Heather! We were never in the same cliques but she is one of the friendliest people I know. She knows how to talk to anyone which I appreciated. We bonded over One Direction in high school and she also confided in me a few times about her relationship and how her parents forbade her from seeing her boyfriend because he was trans. She also studies in my school now, taking up business economics. We barely see each other but say hi whenever we do. holly hunter ibro isaac isaiah jack jackie: One of my aunts has a relative named Jackie and I literally only found this out earlier when we met up and caught up with each other. jacob jacquelin jaden: A kid of my mom’s best friend is a Jaden. He was named after Jaden Smith because he was born during the time the Karate Kid remake made big waves. jake: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I had a garbage instructor with this name. This dude was in charge of my weekly crying binges and panic attacks because I was never sure if I was gonna pass his class. He seemed to enjoy giving all of us failing marks too which made me hate his piece of shit ass more. He’s supposed to be really good at what he does but I guess knowledge just does not always translate well in the classroom. Ended up passing his class, but now I’m cursing his ass forever. james: I have a younger cousin named James. I’ve only met him twice; once when he was a newborn, and then when he celebrated Christmas 2018 with us. His family’s lived in New Zealand and Vietnam since 2008, which is why we never get to see him, and why he does not remember me at all. janai janveia jared jason jay: My uncle is a Jay; he’s my mom’s brother. I disowned him as my uncle many years ago. He’s a terrible drunk, a disgusting smoker, and an annoying freeloader. I tried giving him a chance before, but after I found out that he drunkenly punched a cat once, I ignored him forever. Sometimes my mom and grandmother would ask me to acknowledge him at family gatherings, so I’d have to begrudingly do so; but other than that he’s out of my life. jazmine: There was a Jasmin from my old school. She’d always been very artistic and she was into K-Pop very early on. She’s taking up linguistics in my school now. jeana jeanette jen: Girl from the now-ancient Tumblr wrestling fandom. She’s probably the biggest and most passionate wrestling fan I know as she would follow both the mainstream and indie promotions the last time I checked up on her. She was kinda vain and kept on taking selfies while captioning each one as ‘ugly.’ I remember that she has a dog she really loves, and that she lives in Boston. jeralyn jerry jesse jessica: Meh, annoying girl from high school. I’m sure she’s nice(?) but her personality just didn’t click with me. She was too vibrant and too friendly that it almost seemed fake; but what do I know, I never really made the effort to know her better other than bonding over 1D here and there. jim jocelyn jodi: I know a Jodee from my old school. Spoke straight English, is intelligent, but is a huge goofball and very mischievous/rebellious. She was a smartass and liked testing the teachers’ patience whenever she can, but she always did it in a very funny way I think. She was often called to the guidance counselor’s office for having relationships with other students (I went to a Catholic all-girls’ private school, so this was obviously not allowed) but she always stood her ground about it and was never afraid to fight back. She had a phase of unhooking our bras in like 5th grade. joey: My blockmate has a younger sister named Joey. I think she is also studying in UP. john: The cousin I’m closest to is named John, but it’s not his preferred name. jonathan jordan josh: I know two Joshes, but only because they are boyfriends of a couple of acquaintances. jossie julia julie junior justin: I went to school with a girl who initially went by Justinn, but like she all wanted to start calling her by her other name, Ria, as we grew older. I also briefly rode the school bus with a girl named Justine, but we didn’t talk much. kailyn kaitlyn kaleb: Chelsea’s brother is named Caleb. kali karrie karli kasey: Oh, I guess Kasey (under Cassandra) falls under this too lmao. kasahwn katarina: Not exact, but Katrina’s a fairly popular name where I live. My cousin’s boyfriend is named Katrina, my aunt is a Katrina (but she goes by Bianca), and I also went to school with a Katrina even though her nickname is Cheenie. kate: Already talked about this in the last name survey. I met Kate through my org; she’s a huge joker/goofball, is naturally very friendly, and has an awesome wardrobe. When she’s bored and we both aren’t doing anything, she puts makeup on me. Works very well but is also a huge partier HAHAHAHA. katie: This is my nickname for Kate, if that counts. kayla: There’s a Kayla in my college, but her course is in broad(cast) comm(unication). I remember her very well because she is the first person I EVER talked to when we had our freshman orientation in UP. We didn’t become close after that. She’s pretty, has nice clothes and hair, is part of the popular circle, and she’s part of streetdance which is like one of the cooler orgs on campus. kelli kent: I have a younger cousin who’s a Kent. We used to be close when we were both kids, but now we’re shy towards each other. He was obsessed with dinosaurs when he was younger, like 5 or 6. kerna kevin kiana: I have an orgmate named Kiana! SOOOOO pretty and has like the clearest skin. Very simple and down-to-earth. Is nice but can kick your ass because she has a black belt in taekwondo. She’s smart as hell and I’m pretty sure she’s graduating as magna cum laude, besides the fact that she’s going to UP Law right after. kiley kim: I also have an orgmate named Kim :) He’s the sweetest guy ever, and is just so easy to talk to. He has a really cute relationship with one of the org’s alumni. I didn’t get to bond with him much but am sad all the same that he’s graduating this year :( kimberly: Went to my old school with a Kimberly but she went by Kim. Was one of the rougher, lesser-behaved kids. She was a demon in grade school. Not quite sure how she’s doing now. She’s my friend on Facebook but can’t really care less about her life updates. kirsten kristy kyle: Kyelle is a kinda good friend of mine. He’s from the same circle, but we aren’t close in particular. He’s very nice though, very silly and likes to goof around. laila lain: I used to have an orgmate named Laine. She was our VP for External Affairs two years ago. She’s now in law school. leah: Cheenie’s mom is a Lea. She’s probably the best mom friend my mom made from my school hahaha; she’s known me since I was 4. lexi: I have a high school batchmate named Alexa but I think she goes by Lexi, judging from her Twitter name. Is naturally quiet but gets very friendly when you get her to open up. Easy to talk to. liam: Liam is my youngest cousin, I think. He was born in 2014 or 2015. I’ve never seen him, because he and his family lives in New York. I’ve only ever met his big sister. :( lilly: This girl I was classmates with for a journ elective. I found her to be verrrrry pretty and she had the biggest, most piercing eyes; until I found out that she was one of those die-hard Catholics who are vehemently pro-life. She once defended a fraternity whose members were confirmed to be misogynist, sexist, racist, homophobic and transphobic pieces of shit in a leaked groupchat simply because she believes in ‘forgiveness.’ She caused another ruckus two weeks ago when she made known her pro-life views well known. I wanna unfriend her ass so bad but she just keeps making all the wrong opinions that I just wanna stay and watch her get schooled by my less-than-thrilled college mates hahaha. lina liz: If I remember correctly, there was an Elizabeth from my wrestling fandom who went by Liz. She lives somewhere in the UK, had reddish hair, and was in love with John Cena lmao. She would sometimes make edits too. loren: Other than the Lauren I mentioned in the previous survey, I also had a friend named Lauren from the Tumblr wrestling community too. She was one of the first friends I made. She was two years older than me, fancied Andy Samberg earlier than anyone else, had a cool room, was obsessed with cats, and loved tie-dye stuff. lydia lyndsey lynnette macaila mack: JM’s dad goes by Mackey, if that counts hahahaha. He’s a lawyer and a college professor. mckenzi macey: I went to high school with a Macy and now she’s in college with me too. She used to study in UPLB but moved to Diliman after a year, since she always planned to take up journalism (she didn’t pass the cutoff initially, so she had to stay in LB for a year before she moved). I was very close with her throughout high school, but idk, she’s just never been in a good place mentally so our friendship is very up-down-up-down. I tried to reconnect when we were reunited in college, but she’s found her crowd now so I’m happy for her nonetheless.

There’s also a Macy in my org who worked under my committee for a year before she moved to finance. Quiet girl but was always nice to everyone. She’s also graduating this semester :( maddie madison margo: Went to elementary school with a Margo but she preferred to spell it as Margauxe lmao. We became close for a while because we rode the school bus together and she would lend me the other half of her earbuds so we can listen to Ashley Tisdale’s Headstong and Vanessa Hudgens’ V every day (this was when High School Musical was peak popular). She sort of had a tumultuous family life here until she moved to Hawaii a few years ago. I think she may have moved to California now too. maria: Again, this is like the base name for like half of all Filipina girls. It’s so common that it’s just simply shortened to ‘Ma.’ because everyone knows what it stands for. marina marisa: Kayla’s middle name is Marissa. marquis mary: Macy’s first name is Mary. mathew: I know a bunch of Matthews from both high school and college but they all go by Matt. The one I remember the most is Matthew from another high school friend group who was close with my group. Our group was invited to their Christmas party, and they had a gimmick that each member of their group was gonna be paired with someone from ours, and it was gonna be a costume party. I was paired up with Matthew (but they called him Cho), but I never went to the party so I never got to meet him. I’m sure he’s nice, though. matt: See Mathew. maura mechelle: I have an orgmate named Michelle. She’s clumsy, kinda awkward, but she does it in a very cute way and we all love her because she’s so funny haha. She passed the toughest med school program in the COUNTRY but chose journ in the end. Is the most Chinese Chinese-Filipino girl I know. megan: I know someone whose middle name is Megan but she goes by a different name. melissa: Hahahahaha. I knew a Melissa all right. Freeloader. meredith mersadies micah: I was classmates and friends with a Micah in grade school. My parents and hers were close, so we became close too. She was very smart but I remember her to be deathly afraid of walking on beams when we had to do it in PE. She moved schools in the fifth grade, and she studies in UST now. michael: His full name is Michael, but Mike is a guy I almost went out with in high school. Wasn’t really attracted to him, but he’s like super smart so it was a huge plus point for me lol. I also have an orgmate named Michael but we all call him Elis. He’s unreliable. miranda: If surnames count, Gabie’s best friend’s last name is this haha. molly monica: Some girl who went to my old school but transferred schools early on, like in 2nd or 3rd grade. She was Gabie’s childhood friend though so I still hear from her from time to time. She’s in UP now too, but I don’t know what course she’s taking. morgan nashid natasha: I went to high school with a girl named Natasha, but she goes by Tashie. Huge girl and a beast at softball. Can be a big softie but she has weird mood swings too (and when she’s mad, she’s quite violent) so I just tried not to piss her off while we were still in school together lol. nate: Yeah he’s in the same college as me but I know zilch about him other than he’s supposed to be really good in making films. nathan neema nichole: Annoying younger busmate who graduated high school this year. nick: Nick is the codename I gave to one of my first crushes. Obviously not his legit name so I don’t think this counts. nicholas olivia paige preasia preme prisilla: When I was still applying for AIESEC, Priscilla was assigned as one of my groupmates. I was originally iffy because she didn’t get online to work until like 11 PM, but when I did see her start working, she was a GODDAMN BEAST. Amazing. Did everything I assigned to her. When I met her in person the next day, she spoke very well and was very put-together. My respect for her soared even more after that. I dropped my application soon after for unrelated reasons but it was a pleasure working with her. Last I heard, she’s a councilor-elect in her local college’s student council. rachel: My math teacher in Grade 1 was a Rachel. I don’t remember her at all, except for the fact that when she found our class noisy one day, she completely stopped talking and mimed everything for the rest of the 45-minute period. raheim raven: Creepy, weird dude from my org who’s always looking for a dick to suck. I’m not even trying to insult him, he’s just perpetually thirsty and makes sure the whole world knows it for some reason. ray renee: Sweet, intelligent, hilarious girl from my high school. She’s very makwela, which in English means zany/funny. Her dad is a national basketball coach so it’s no surprise she followed in his footsteps. richard riley rita: Sweet, sweet girl from my org. We all just kinda naturally flock to protect her from bad influences or creepy people because she just has such a sweet soul. She’s my successor VP in my committee. robby: I have an Uncle Rob, but he doesn’t go by Robby. He’s the husband of my aunt (my mom’s cousin). He’s from New Zealand and has a Masters or a PhD in film theory, I don’t actually remember which. ryan: I used to see him a lot at a relative’s house until I was like 8. I’ve never seen him since and don’t actually know how he’s related to us or me lmfao. sabrina samantha: I have a younger cousin named Samantha. Sam was born and raised in New York but visited the Philippines last year and I was primarily in charge of taking care of her. She’s just the cutest darling I’ve seen and has the most perfect accent ahuhuhuhuhuhu. She likes My Little Pony. sara sarica sean: Someone from a lower batch in high school has this name. I never knew her but we follow each other on Twitter loooooool. secilia seliena: My older cousin’s first name is Selina but she goes by her second name, Bianca or Bia for short. We were inseperable as kids but we grew shyer as we grew older :( shannon shauna: Gabie’s orgmate. That’s all I know. She liked my tweets in the past but that’s the most contact we’ve made. shayna shelby sherry seirra skylar spencer steven stevey susan: I have an Aunt Susan. She took care of me my whole childhood; fed me, gave me baths, all that stuff when my mom was too busy with work. She got run over by a hit-and-run motorcycle when I was 9 and she was never the same after. She was crankier and had violent outbursts. tamara: I went to school with a Tamara; her nickname was Tammy. She was a gentle giant; like she was a naturally big girl but was very soft-spoken and SUPER shy. We got close for a while in 4th grade but her paths differed not long after. tashryha taylor tayshaun terrell tiffany: I had a batchmate named Tiffany. She was kinda mean in grade school but got nicer as we got older. I never really got the chance to know her well. tori trevor trisha: Another high school batchmate. All I remember was that she would cheat on tests by changing her wrong answers when the teachers would give our results back so they could correct it for her. Also a big Justin Bieber fan lol. trista tylik vanessa: There was a Vanessa in an older HS batch but she went by Via; she just graduated college yesterday but that’s all I know. There’s also a Vanessa in my sister’s HS batch; she’s half-German and that’s also all I know. victoria: Some girl I had a class with was named Victoria but it’s her middle name; we all called her Kristine. wally will wyatt zach: Another guy from the wrestling group I was in. He was one of the older dudes so I was more scared of him than the rest. zachary: Same answer as Zach. I think this was his whole name. zoey

[moodymurda]

think i lost my best friend

as a small child my first first best friend was a boy named omar. we met in daycare when we were two. we were the smallest in the class but had the biggest mouths. we ended up going to the same schools until 4th grade. at our elementary school anytime someone claimed me as a best friend, he would explain that we went way back to diapers and they weren’t my best friend lmao. 

in pre-k i met a boy named hakeem. (our mom’s ended up being friends, they still talk occasionally and sometimes my mom will tell me how hakeem and his siblings are doing. because she know my weird ass cares about that sort of thing). hakeem brought these lemon cookies everyday for snack. i liked them too but in strawberry, so he would have his mom get me some and he brought me those cookies everyday until we changed schools in first grade. we always sat together, did our work together, played together. we had other friends but we mostly did everything together. 

in first grade i had 2 best friends. a boy named franklyn and a girl named melody. melody moved away like 4 months into the school year but to this day i’ve never forgotten her. franklyn, i thought he was so cool. he was a really great artist.. for a 6 year old lol. he was real funny too. he had the funniest facial expressions. and he was real serious which i was entertained by because i’ve always been “silly”. 

in 4th grade i met a girl named shanelle. we were the shortest girls in the class and the smartest. we were really similar in general and we instantly clicked. it was a whole lil group of girls that i’d known since first grade. but shanelle and i ended up in the same class in 4th grade and we clicked idk. that was my mf girl. when i first moved to florida we talked on the phone every saturday for hours. i also met a boy named anias that year. he was one of my best friends too. he was also my first crush lol. unrelated but it’s interesting to look back at how i handled the fact that i liked him, because i still handle liking people that same way.

fifth grade was my first year in florida. it was real hard for me to make friends. the other day, my mom said to me she realized that in new york i never had to make friends. i have bout 5011 cousins, so that's built in friends right there. and they were my friends back then, they're my friends now. then most of the kids i went to daycare with, they went to my elementary school. so again i never had to make a friend really. i knew everyone in my life since i was a literal infant. 

but yea i did end up making friends eventually. got my first white friends ever lol. (one of their dad’s called me a nigger which is still hands down one of the weirdest things i’ve ever experienced.) i started to befriend more girls which was cool because before then i always had way more guy friends than girls. 

in middle school i went to one school for 6th grade, then another for 7th & 8th. in 6th i met my friend nijah. and she was my best friend then. she treated me like i was her little sister and i’m still grateful. she really looked out for my little ass and defended me no matter what. she was present after i got into my first fight lol. and even though i held my own, the girl had scratched my face. that shit set nijah off and she proceeded to beat homegirl’s ass even though i just did.

i struggled to make friends in 7th again. in 6th grade i went to the same school that most of my elementary friends went to, so again i didn’t have to make friends for real. i did make new friends but it was different because it was a group thing. not me alone trying to fit in somewhere. in 7th grade i finally got into a school i applied to in 5th grade but was wait-listed. i was and am very reluctant to speak to those i don’t know for a list of reasons. so i didn’t. i would just observe the people in my class. eventually these two girls named janae and keely who were best friends, kinda let me stick my ass in there with them. then i met bart and this girl dani. i remember marcus and i had ended up befriending one another bc our history teacher sat us next to each other when he was reassigning seats. (i remember every mf thing but marcus was also my second crush so naturally i remember every detail of that shit). so yea those were my friends. at the time janae was my best friend tho. she was the only other black girl in the class that would talk to me and didn’t think i was weird. it was because her ass was weird too lol. i didn’t act like the rest of the black girls and they really only spoke to me to make fun of me. which i knew, but i’ve never been one to entertain shit unless “you got beat my ass about it”. 

in 8th grade janae and i met this group of girls. morgan, dejahnna, atlantis, and jarvayssia. some shit shifted that year and morgan and dejahanna became my best friends. they were the first friends i ever hang out with outside of school. it made me feel so good to be invited to shit and to feel included. to feel like a normal ass 13 yr old felt amazing. 

so in high school there were two schools all the magnet school kids would usually apply to. stanton and paxon. with the exception of keely, bart, and a few other people i didn't mention here. every single person i was close with in middle school, went to paxon. what's crazy is most of my friends were going for stanton because in jax it’s the “better” school as far as ranking goes. i don't even remember why but when i toured paxon, i liked it more than stanton and i wanted to go there. it’s still funny to me that my ass didn’t want to go to stanton but was one of the only ones in my close friend group to get in. 

so yea at stanton is struggled. a lot. personally but also in the friend department. to put it plainly i had none. people didn't really talk to me or acknowledge me really. at first i didn’t mind it. but then having a fucked up home situation and having no friends just made me feel real shitty. there was that thing again, with people talking to me only to make fun of me. some of those same people would turn around senior year and try to be my friend senior year which was hilarious to me at the time. it was like they forgot how they treated my extra depressed ass back then. i met this girl chelsey in 10th grade and she was hella sweet. she basically forced me on her friends and they became my friends.

okay so anyway, in 11th grade i met a girl named ahmani. she was in my chorus class. i remember our first encounter, it was towards the beginning of the school year. stanton was playing paxon and it was the game everyone went to ya know. i wanted to go but my mom couldn't take me. so everyone is talking about it and someone asked if i was coming. i said no and why, ahmani ended up asking me what side of town i lived on. we realized we dead lived like 7 minutes away from each other. she offered to pick me up and bring me to the game w her. i was amazed that she was willing to, i know that dont sound like a big deal but to me it was. people weren’t nice to me bro. like ever. so for her to do that it meant a lot. she ended up being my ride every mf where. she is dead the reason i hung out w people outside of school w my friends. she took me everywhere with her. sometimes we would just sit in the car and talk or listen to music. we had a group of friends, it was 5 of us. but i was the closest with her. 

i admired her. i thought she was so strong and resilient. she's hella awkward but she owns it. she's low-key/highkey anxious sometimes but she works through it. no one i’ve ever met works harder to achieve shit than she is. she sings so beautifully. she is beautiful. she's a caretaker of basically anyone she knows. she is a light, she was my light for so long when i needed it. we’re pretty different but also a lot alike. we just worked. i always told her where i fall short she picks up my slack and vice versa. we might be a bit of a mess separately but our heads working together is unstoppable. we’re kinda a mess together too honestly but it’s us.

in college we didn't spend as much time together. we both stayed home for two years and went to a community college. we would hang out like weekly i think. i’m pretty sure we saw each other once a week at the very least. but then she went to orlando for university and i went to UNF which in jax. we didn’t talk all that much and i understood. i wasn't necessarily too busy, but thats because i just never am that fucking busy lmfao. idk the way i go through life is weird. i only make time for the shit and people i want to make time for. i refuse to do anything i dont want to. and that isn’t necessarily my best trait but I'm working on it. but yea i guess she was busier than i? idk when i don’t speak to people for a while i dont make a big deal. i tell myself it isn’t on purpose and i move on. i often tell myself not to apply more importance to my life than what is necessary. especially when others are involved. again, not my best trait but i’m working on it. 

so yea though our communication got limited i still considered her my best friend. when she would come to the city, if she had time we hung out. i always have time lmfao, always. again i know other people’s lives are more full than mine. well i assume so. anyway. we spoke on the phone. we were there when the other needed i think. i try hard not to need people. like not to call them or burden them with my issues. i try real hard. but when she needed me i was there. not to say i’ve ever needed her and she wasn’t there. because that isn’t the case at all. 

recently we planned to move to chicago together. a whole chain of events happened and now we aren’t. i’m still moving and i’m pretty sure she is too. just not together. the way it happened is really fucking with me. i don’t wanna get into it bc of privacy and shit. but i will say that i am hurt. im really hurt and im confused and im beating myself up over some shit that everyone keeps telling me isn't my fault. feels like my fault though. that feels like the only explanation. i dont know.

i’ve been thiniking a lot. about friends and how i never really had any. i just spoke to people so i wasn't alone or sometimes i just spoke to no one and made myself be okay with it. and now i have this group of friends and we’re like family. everyone that is my friend currently is my family. all of my friends i have currently i made over the internet. and i was bothered by that im not even gonna lie. it felt good to still have ahmani bc i would see her more than i see my other friends. i still have some i didn't meet yet. idk i just.. im the only person in my like personal life with internet friends. like in my family. and i felt like i just fed the fact that my family thinks im not even the least bit “normal”. then i started to feel bad. because it felt like that meant i was ashamed of my friends.and i’m not. i love them. i dont wanna lose any of them any time soon. and i’m realizing i dont need anyone’s approval to make those friendships “real” or valid. because they are real and valid to me. 

but yea i dont think ahmani and i will be friends anymore. or if we do end up being friends again, we probably won't speak for a while. i don’t know what that means. but losing a friend sucks a whole lot and i wouldn’t wish it on anyone. 

[lovebunnie]

Do all the asks coward

1. what does your wallet look like?

-i got it as a present from my uncle for christmas and its really expensive but also so ugly im sorry uncle tom. its like that ‘southern fashion’ bullshit that white MAGA moms wear. but it was better than my old wallet, which looks like this and i got when i was 12:

2. favorite color?

- baby pinnk

3. do you own a pride flag, or more than one?

-heres the thing: my parents basically know im not straight but i havent told them. my brother has thought i was a lesbian since freshman year, i have a small pride pin on my backpack, ive never been on a date, its complicated. but no, i dont have one. maybe one day, hopefully.

4. describe your favorite outfit

-black pants, platform doc martens, hoodie under a jean jacket, one clip on earring, and holding my crushes hand :]

5. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter, and what’d she do?

-okay so theres this girl in my theatre class who is really cute, and she put her head on my shoulder and shes pagan so she drew a little sigil on my arm that means “safe and homely” so like :)))))))))))))

6. do you use nail polish?

-i do, i mostly do black tho

7. do you keep organized?

-absolutely. i have things online filed accordingly, i pick out my outfits the day before, my binders are neat, i learned how to army fold my shirts, i keep my shit CLEAN

8. ever take naps?

-only accidentally. ill be laying in bed watching youtube and next thing you know my autoplay has me watching a markiplier video even tho i dont like him and its 4 hours later

9. who was your first crush?

-idk if this is a real person or not so ill do both. my first fake person crush was either troy from high school musical or frankie stein from monster high. and my first real crush was on a boy named dominic in elementary school. i told him i liked him at the end of 5th grade because i thought i was switching schools but then i didnt and we never spoke again.

10. what are your crush tendencies? fall hard or often?

-both both both. i am the worst with crushes. i have crushes all the time because im romantic and a fucking fool. i have 3 crushes off the top of my head rn and i like them all for different reasons. thats not to say that i want to date them, but its that i like them a lot and i kinda wanna kiss their cheek or hold their hand idk

11. describe your ideal day

-play overwatch with my best friend (u gonble >:) ) then hang out with my cat, go get a smoothie, buy some cool shoes or something, take a shower and be asleep by 9 :,)

12. describe your ideal date

-i have stated that build a bear is an amazing first date and im NOT BACKING DOWN. ITS CUTE AS FUCK AND ILL ACCEPT NOTHING LESS!!

13. whats your favorite food?

-either sushi or strawberries :3c

14. who do you feel most comfortable around?

-my theatre class, people from camp, and gobble

15. what is your favorite compliment to receive?

-i dont have a favorite, any and all are going to make my face go red so i have to cover it and maybe make me cry

16. did you/do you like highschool?

-the first 3 years fucking sucked but senior year has been amazing so far. mostly because i just kinda stopped giving a fuck but its amazing

17. favorite animal?

-i think its cats now. i really like cats

18. do you like your name?

-eh, its okay. its pretty but also it seems like there are 60 million fucking people named grace and its so annoying. i wish it was something more unique idk

19. what kind of weather is your favorite?

-a light rain. no swinging trees or thunder, just lots of rain. its nice to stay inside and feel secure

20. do you believe in horoscopes?

-absolutely not. but theyre fun if you like them

21. tell us about your music taste

-its horrific. to sum it up, my two favorite musicians are the gorillaz and frank sinatra. take from that what you will

22. have you had your first kiss? if so, what was it like?

-i havent had my first kiss yet. gonna be honest, i felt like i was going to, a few times at camp and recently when classes ended. but yeah, nothing yet

23. did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a kid?

-i went thro cycles of favorites. but one ive had for years is a plush shadow the hedgehog from universal studios i got when i was 6. i used to carry him around, even to a pool once

24. what time do you usually wake up and go to bed?

-if you know me, you know i go to bed ridiculously early. i usually get tried at around 6pm and fall asleep between 7:45 and 8:30. and i always wake up before 6 am. i havent slept past 6 am continuously since the end of junior year. please help me

25. what dream trip would you take with your wife?

-maybe to go explore new york, just the two of us that sounds like fun :]

26. do you have any pets?

-i have 2 dogs and a cat. the family owns the dogs but that cat is mine

27. what pair of underwear is your favorite?

-uhhhhhhhhhhh i have some with rainbows that are cool? i dont have favorites, none of them are cute anyway

28. what makes you smile?

-funny jokes make me smile real hard, and if you compliment me at the right time, i kind of pull my legs up and hide my face? its cute and charming i promise

29. what makes you feel heavy?

-in both the physical and metaphorical sense, eating bread

30. what makes you feel better?

-watching bo burnham always makes me feel better, hes my go to whenever im really depressed

31. how do you show your love?

-i show my love in everything i do. everything i do is for love, i love love so much its sickening

32. when is it time to get a haircut?

-whenever u want to lol?

33. where would you live if you could live anywhere?

-maybe san francisco, its beautiful and i love the city

34. do your friends and family take good care of you?

-as much as i allow them to. sometimes i go days without communicating and i know thats annoying but my friends put up with it (they shouldnt have to, i know) and my family is okay. its cliche to say, but they honestly dont understand what im going thro alot of the times, esp with my anxiety and shit

35. have you always used the labels you use now?

-back in the beginning of highschool, i used they/them pronouns and identified as asexual/aromantic. eventually, it didnt feel right, so i know identify as cis and bisexual and that feels right to me

36. what makes you laugh?

-my friends, when people shit talk gobble and i in overwatch even tho???? we didnt know him?????? and the mcelroys always get me

37. who is your favorite fictional character?

-too many options, see list here

38. who do yo admire?

-my father when hes not threatening to throw my phone into a fucking lake and my friends for putting up with me

39. describe yourself in three words

-i am baby

40. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

-usually about 45 min, more or less as each day goes

41. what do you wish you could tell your younger self?

-listen: STOP GIVING A FUCK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, BE YOURSELF. STOP HIDING AND BEING SCARED OF YOURSELF, BE GENUINE!!!!

42. what would you do if you win the lottery?

-get my parents settled, see about other family members, and then distribute the money to charities accordingly, starting with flint and getting them water

43. would you call yourself a romantic?

-yes

44. what is your gayest childhood memory?

-my mom had cosmos magazines

45. do you have tattoos or want any?

-i dont have any tattoos but ive been obsessed with them since the 6th grade. id love to get tattoos, i just dont know what or where and also im afraid of pain

46. whats your worst habit?

-either biting my thumbs, starving myself, or ghosting my friends. prob ghosting my friends

47. what are you proud of?

-i guess coming out of my shell finally? idk, i actually have friends now and it feels amazing tbh. im in 5 group chats now. i havent been in a group chat since 6th grade. :))))))

48. did you know that youre actually a gift to the world, for real?

-hi i love you?

49. whats your favorite memory?

-there are so so many. but what comes to mind first is our dance night at camp where we all stood outside and i finally gave ian my tumblr and we all ran inside to dance to mr. brightside then ran outside again and we requested nightcore and rivers was fucking dancing their hearts out and we all sang along and im going to crying just typing this out

50. do you have a sweet tooth?

-i guess so. too much makes me feel like shit but i do really enjoy smarties

51. what do you like most about yourself?

-this is dumb, but my sense of style. since i got a job ive been wearing shit i actually like and its amazing. ill admit i have cool clothes

52. what makes you fall for a girl?

-besides acknowledging me, probably getting to know me and not like, putting me on a pedestal. idk its weird, ive met a lot of people this year who like to place me so high it feels like i cant make a mistake around them without disappointing them. idk, i want someone to call me out on my bullshit instead of assuring me im okay. i want to know what i do wrong so i can fix it

53. make a recommendation

-for what? uhh okay for music, listen to ‘clay pigeons’ by michael cera (yes i know michael cera) and for television, watch bojack horseman and for movies, watch the docuseries called ‘7 days out�� on netflix

54. have you ever had your heart broken?

-yeah, when i broke up with maddy because we werent ready to date. i cared and continue to care about her and i didnt want to hurt her but i knew its what we both needed. its what i needed, atleast. and i cant be a good girlfriend if i feel like im doing badly. but also ive had friends break my heart and family break my heart. but im okay now, this heart is ready to be broken again

55. when do you feel most yourself?

-def when i was at camp, that place is magical in the way it allows you to be yourself. but also when i talk to gobble because hes my best friend and when im at college, we can talk more and its gonna be dope as shit

56. name a gorgeous celeb

-jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal jake gyllenhaal 

57. what are some of your favorite songs this week?

-fake happy by paramore, im not okay (i promise) by my chemical romance, tomorrow comes today by gorillaz

58. tell us 2 or your biggest hopes and fears

-biggest hopes: i publish a book someday & i get a job doing something i love

-biggest fears: i end up homeless and broke & something horrific happens in college

59. what flavor chapstick/lipbalm is the best?

-raspberry i guess

60. are you okay?

-i answered a lot more honestly then i shouldve for some of these and i start new classes tomorrow so im feeling really anxious so im doing alright i guess.

gobble you test me but i do love you

[thewritingfreak19]

Rules: say ten songs that are meaningful to you and explain how they’ve played a role in your life and what they mean to you, then tag ten people to do the same (you can also make the playlist too if you want!) 

Tagged by: @frankchurchillsaysrelax

Tagging: @ney-work, @chuckclayton, @imaginarybird, @rebeccabunchs and anyone else who wants to do this.

1. Believe In Me by Demi Lovato

Middle school me really needed to hear the message this song provides. In fact, some days I still need to hear it. It’s sort of embarrassing but I’ve cried often while listening to this song because, more often than not, I don’t feel beautiful or worthy or important in any way.

2. My Shot from Hamilton

I introduced my mom to Hamilton because of her love of history, and surprise surprise- she loved it! All Hamilton songs are brilliant but My Shot was the first song my mom learned word for word and we continue to work Hamilton lyrics into our conversations.

3. Good Die Young by D12

My best friend Devin introduced me to the rap genre in 7th grade and I automatically fell in love with the music and the culture that surrounds it. Well, about two years ago he passed away in a car wreck, and this was the first song I heard after his funeral. I like to think that it was him saying hey, that he was here for me, and to encourage me to live my life to the fullest while I still could. It really helped me to process my grief and begin to move on.

4. This Is Me by Demi Lovato

My school used to have a celebration for everyone who completed their end of the year exams. When I was in 6th grade, an opportunity arose for me to sing karaoke at this celebration, and I chose this song because Camp Rock had just come out and I blanked on all other music, haha. Anyway, I performed and it was the best experience I’ve ever had- phones were in the air, I heard myself in the speakers and everyone singing along- it was fantastic. I was still getting requests to sing throughout middle/high school, and because of this, I think it’s really funny that there was a group of girls who told me they were taking bets on how bad I’d suck after I got off stage.

5. Reforget by Lauv

This song brings back memories of me riding my bike home from work in the early hours of the morning. I would have one earbud in and the wind whistling in my other ear and it was always a good time to think about things that were on my mind.

6. You Need Me, Man I Don’t Need You by Ed Sheeran

This song was on Ed’s first album and I was determined to learn the rapping part because one of my friends could rap it, so why couldn’t I do it too? I mastered it only to find a 13 minute version of the same song on YouTube with an even more complex rap and I still can’t get the hang of it.

7. My Sh*t by A Boogie wit a Hoodie

So I recently got drunk for the first time (something I never wanna do again but I’m glad I had the experience) and apparently I heard this song, liking it enough to download it on my phone. I suppose this song commemorates one of my personal milestones, lol.

8. For the Love of a Daughter by Demi Lovato

Another Demi song, I know, but this song reminds me of how hard it is to have an absentee father who has problems he needs to face, and how that effects me as a daughter. I really identify with what she’s saying in this song. When it first came out I listened to it over and over.

9. Work From Home by Fifth Harmony

I like the beat of this song. It just makes me happy. This may seem random but it’s not, so bear with me- my brother plays the trombone and is in our local high school’ full orchestra. They did an instrumental version of this song- absolutely fantastic!- which is where my love of this song comes from.

10. Here It Goes Again by OK Go

This is another song that makes me happy! The beat is fun. It also gives me a twinge of embarrassment because I totally tried to recreate the music video with a couple of my friends. Lol.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @youngmoneymilla for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Eliza, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

13

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

I did love writing OC’s because I have a lot of fun with physical description. However, that was when I wasn’t aware of Reader Inserts since I just recently came back into the fanfic world. Reader Inserts are great because I have to work that much harder on giving them a backstory/personality and not focus at all on physical description. Plus, everyone gets to read the work and hopefully find themselves in it. The only thing I hate is being unable to use a name. I can’t write “Y/N” bc it bugs me haha.

3) What is your favorite genre to write for?

Ummm Angst probably? I’m a huge horror fan so, I’m trying to incorporate that into more work.

4) If you had to delete one of your stories and never speak of it again, which would it be and why?

“It Would Have Made it True” just because I didn’t really connect with it that much and the ending was rushed.

5) When is your preferred time to write? 

11 am to 10 pm haha. I’m an asshole and write a lot during my job.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from? 

I have about a million fics bookmarked from over the years, literally fics from when I was in high school to now. They’re so gorgeously written and they inspire me to write. I pretty much only read non-fiction outside of fanfic so, that doesn’t really work.

7) What’s your favorite scene that you’ve written?

Bathtub/Bedroom scene in the second part of “Bungalows and Baths”

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Yep. In one fic, I included a descriptive characteristic for the reader that implied she was white. It hadn’t even occurred to me but, I immediately fixed it when someone pointed it out.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why? 

Tossup between Bucky and Steve. Bucky has the very obvious trauma and grief that’s interesting to write about but, Steve has a lot of buried darkness that’s subtle and extremely intriguing.

10) Who is your least favorite character to write for? Why?

Maybe Bruce? I don’t care that much for his character (despite the fact I love Hulk)

11) How do you come up with the titles for your stories? 

A lot of the time, it’s a line that’s said throughout the narrative. However, I have a word doc filled with random quotes I like and I usually throw something together. I always think up the title at the end and it’s always an afterthought. Titles blow.

12) What do you think is the best idea you’ve had for a story so far?

I am currently writing a Bucky x Reader fic (TRYING TO AT LEAST) that is going to take the team to New Orleans. It’s going to involve vampires since I wrote a novella about vampires back in high school and want to re-explore that mythology. However, there is going to be a lot of twists and it won’t be an AU, it’s just introducing the possibility of vampires in the MC universe. The reader and Bucky will both be struggling with the idea of themselves as monsters and trying to help themselves through that. It’s going to be a lot of voodoo and magic and angsty “will they, won’t they”. I’m going off on a tangent now but, that’s the gist. I have not written an actual series in a long time so, this would be my first one.

13) Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

There are many half-filled one- page word docs on my desktop that are rotting away as we speak. I just get bored or think of something else.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’d love to do more fics with the same reader from Bungalows and Baths.

15) Are there any stories that you wished you’d ended differently?

Lol I’m actually annoyed with how I ended 6 Times right now. Not sure why.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

Omg I admire so many but, here are a few.

@bitsandbobsandstuff – obviously for her “Safe with Me” piece which is fantastic, emotional and well-paced. Pacing/keeping the reader on their toes is the hardest thing for me in a series and so, I really admire her ability to do that. I also LOVED her “A Million Invisible Threads” piece because it’s such a gorgeous character study on the Winter Soldier

@a-splash-of-stucky  – She’s the Queen of Angst duh and a GORGEOUS writer. I love her stuff. A Messed Up Place left me weak.

@imhereforbvcky – Her “Mirror for the Sun” fic inspired me to start writing from Bucky’s POV actually. She’s just a beautiful writer.

@tilltheendwilliwrite – I love everything she writes. I love all the mythology she brings to her fics while still staying within the Avengers universe. Her smut is on another level, too. I find myself rereading her stuff again and again.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

Here and there. There are definitely moments in a fic where I think why did I keep that. It’s usually because I ended it too quickly or just wanted it over.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence? 

I love music when I write fics. It’s all movie scores. I have a spotify playlist for it.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve cried (ish) when writing anything that has to do with alcohol/substance abuse. I’ve been in and out of AA for the past two years and have finally started recovery again. I also have depression so, writing about that can leave me raw. Writing truly always helps though.

20) Which part of your fics have been the hardest to write?

SMUT. Jesus Christ. I struggle so hard with making smut sound hot, as well as lyrical so, it can fit with the narrative. I don’t want to reuse anything I’ve used in other fics before or repeat words but, it’s SO hard (pardon the pun). I always forget what position they’re in and where the body parts need to go. It’s legitimately why I have yet to write a Stucky x Reader fic. I can’t introduce another person into my difficult SMUT journey.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow? 

I usually have a general idea and I’ll have a very vague outline going. I just write everything out like word vomit and go back and edit.

22) What is something you wished you’d known before you started posting fan-fiction? 

That some of the best stories I’ve read aren’t necessarily the ones with the most likes or comments. I stumble upon stuff and wonder “HOW DOES THIS NOT HAVE 2K LIKES”.

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

That’s tough. Maybe the stuff I wrote in the beginning where I didn’t have many followers. I loved the concept of “You Don’t Mean for it to Happen” but, sometimes I want to rewrite the whole thing. I put a lot of myself into “I Think of You All the Time” but, I feel like that got some good traction. IDK.  Bungalows and Baths got a crazy amount of love. Did not expect that but, v grateful.

24) In contrast to 23 is there a story which gets lots of love which you kinda eye roll at? 

Nope. I appreciate any love haha.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Well, I think it goes without saying that every reader character has a little bit of the author in there. I think I pull from some of my friends but, not really.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten? 

Someone once said that their soul was marked by “Bungalows and Baths” which was amazing haha.

27) What’s the harshest criticism you’ve gotten?

I haven’t really gotten criticism other than that time I screwed up on including a feature for a white reader. I felt terrible about that.

28) Do you share your story ideas with anyone else or do you keep them close to your chest?

Not really. I don’t have people to share them with haha.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My best friend knows but, she doesn’t read fanfic. Shockingly, my mom and sister know but, I told them that they could never read them. I just share reviews with them. My mom likes to know that I’m staying creative.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written? 

Oh jeez idk if I have one. Natasha isn’t considered a minor character but, she usually plays a side character in my stories and she’s fun to write for.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Once I get started, I’m usually good at keeping it going. Music helps.

32) What’s your favorite trope to write?

Probably slow burn romance or one of the lovers is injured/captured. I also am a huge sucker for love triangles because I’m greedy AF.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

Lawl this might not have been the first one but, I read a Lizzie Mcguire SMUT piece when I was maybe in 6th grade and was severely chilled to the bone. I was trash even at 12.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Angst. I always write better when I’m emotionally distraught and tortured. Although as I get older, I realize this isn’t fabulous for my own mental health.

[mind-body-and-spirit]

I’m bored ignore me

Describe your current mood/feelings

I feel awful. I’m so unhappy in my current situation and I got a glimpse of what it’s like to be outside of it and I can’t wait to make that happen.

Which is your favourite country that you’ve been to?

Ireland probably.

What are the first things you notice when you look at/meet someone?

Smile and usually eyes but I haven't been great at that lately.

Have you ever been in love/are you in love currently?

I have been in love, I’m not currently.

Are you currently in a relationship?

I am not. 

Would you ever date someone online?

I’d date someone that I met online but not someone I couldn't be with in person.

Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?

Yes.

Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?

Night is more my thing.

What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Left.

Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?

LOL no.

Would you choose love or money?

Right now, money probably except for one person that I would choose over that. 

When did you lose your virginity?

When I was 18.

 Do you prefer men or women?

Men usually but gender really doesn't matter to me. I’m attracted to personalities.

Do you have a sex playlist?

No but I’ve heard someone else’s and I am totally into it.

When was the last time you had sex?

Saturday 🙊

Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?

Yes.

Where is the most romantic place you would want to have sex?

When I picture romantic sex it’s usually in a bed, sooooo.

Where is the weirdest place you would want to have sex?

Balcony.

What would you do if you were ever caught having sex?

Depends who caught us.

Would you ever go to a bar just to get sex?

I’d go to a bar to flirt.

Has anyone ever tried to pick you up in a bar?

Yes.

Would you have sex in a movie theater?

YES that’s so risky I dig it.

Would you have sex outside?

I would as long as its not dirty.

Would you have sex in a bathroom?

Probably.

Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?

There’s pics of me out there.

Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?

Not physically said it but I have thought of someone else and almost said it.

Would you ever use ‘toys’ in bed?

I would.

What would you do if your partner suggest a threesome?

I’m down.

How many people have you slept with?

5.

(1/2) If your lover/crush were in your bed right now, what would you do?

Sex probably.

(2/2) Then?

CUDDLE he’s great at that and probably talk a lot. 

What are your favorite bands? 

Set it off, Beartooth, Grayscale, As it Is, Mayday Parade.

What are your favorite singers? 

Barret Wilbert Weed, Taylor Louderman, Carrie Hope Fletcher, I’m obsessed with the Broadway stars right now.

What are your favorite albums? 

I’m LOVING the Mean Girls Cast Recording right now, also Dear Evan Hansen and Heathers. Only Human by Calum Scott is pretty good, and The Greatest Showman.

What are your favorite songs? 

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

Someone Gets Hurt, Revenge Party, World Burn, I’d Rather Be Me, and Apex Predator all from Mean Girls

Requiem, Waving Through a Window,and You Will Be Found all from DEH

And I’m gonna stop now because this list could go on forever.

What is the best concert you’ve ever been to? 

Oh gosh. Can I cheat and say Warped?

How did you first find out about your favorite band/singer?

Okay top two: I found SIO by accident at the mall in Hot Topic in 2009. Loved them ever since. And I found Barrett through Heathers.

If someone asks you what music they should check out, what are your go-to recommendations? 

Usually SIO unless were talking about musicals.

What was your first concert? if you haven’t been to one, what do you want your first concert to be? 

Omg Hilary Duff when I was like 8 probably.

How do live performances, whether they’re from your friends or professionals, tend to make you feel? 

SO HAPPY

Singing in the shower or singing in the car?  

Both but I sing in the car more. I only sing in the shower when I’m home alone, but I love that more cause acoustics and the steam is good for the voice.

If you could pick one instrument to learn how to play, what would it be? 

Trumpet!

What is your singing voice like? what singers do you remind yourself of? 

I’m a mezzo/alto. I try my hardest to be like Barrett tbh.

Have you ever been involved in any music programs? which ones and for how long?

Uh yeah like all through high school and college.

Which instruments do you know how to play? what’s your skill level? 

Flute/picc - advanced but I’m probably a bit rusty since I haven’t practiced in a while.

Piano, guitar, and ukulele - self taught/beginner

How do you feel about video game soundtracks? 

I like them if they’re super dark/edgy cause it’s fun to dance to.

What soundtracks do you enjoy listening to the most? 

Mean Girls, Heathers, DEH, Man of La Mancha, basically any musical.

How do you feel about musicals?

You’ve probably figured this out already but I live for them.

What are some songs whose lyrics you relate to? 

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

Are You There? - Bare (taken out of context, of course)

parts of Beautiful - Heathers

Breathe In Breathe Out - Tich

I’d Rather Be Me - Mean Girls

Someday - Zombies (taken out of context)

Do you prefer songs that have good melodies or songs that have good lyrics? 

BOTH. I usually really like songs that feel good to sing (good melodies) but I will download and listen to a song just for the lyrics.

Look at your country’s song charts, listen to the first unfamiliar song you can find, and share your opinion on it.

Billboard Top 100 said Psycho - Post Malone. And I hated it. 

Any cover versions that you think are better than the original? 

Chandelier - PVRIS from Punk Goes Pop

Uptown Funk - Against The Current & SIO

How often do you listen to music? 

Literally every day.

How do you feel about classical music? 

I love it.

Would you ever want to have a career in music? 

I think it would be fun but like realistically probably not.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is music to you? 

16.5 I couldn’t live without it.

How do you feel about rap music? 

Not a fan.

How has music affected you as a person?

It’s been my life since like 6th grade so it pretty much made me who I am.

What songs do you listen to when you’re sad?

I just listen to Mean Girls all the time

But sometimes Bare bc sad

What songs do you listen to when you’re in a great mood? 

Still Mean Girls.

What songs do you listen to when you’re getting ready for sports/to work out?

Anything from Mean Girls (do you see a trend here?)

What is your favorite movie?

The Kissing Booth was good, The Greatest Showman, I mostly listen to music.

What are you currently watching on Netflix/Hulu?

Skins UK (for the second time)

What shows have you finished?

13 Reasons Why, Grey’s, The Fosters, Misfits, Skins UK, Dance Academy, Degrassi, Backstage

Do you binge watch shows on Netflix or Hulu?

Netflix if I can find a good one. Hulu is for episodes that I missed when they aired.

What colour palette are you most drawn to?

Cool tones. Blues, purples, silver, but also rose gold.

What other country would you move to if you could?

Ireland or England

Which accent do you find most attractive?

IRISH

Would you rather be able to shapeshift or teleport?

Teleporting would solve a lot of my problems.

Would you do a destination wedding? where at?

Does Disney World count?

Dream honeymoon?

....Disney World.

Which celebrity’s voice do you wish you had? 

BARRETT

Would you rather live on a beach, mountaintop, on a farm, in the city, or in the forest?

The middle of a big city.

Do you still want to be what you dreamed of as a kid?

No I wanted to be a marine biologist and work at Sea World.

Would you rather live in a functional tree house, a rustic but renovated barn, and old stone cottage, a tiny house, an antique victorian character home, or an artistic cob home?

Antique victorian character home with an updated interior that's modern but still preserves the charm.

What do you want your life to look like in 1 year?

Living in a big city (preferably Baltimore or DC) and having a real job.

4 favourite youtubers?

I've really been into Shane Dawson and the squad lately. Also Soph (Sophdoesnails), Shelby’s DCP vlogs, and Sophie Lousie

What would your absolute dream partner look like?

Goofy smile, bright eyes (not necessarily in color, but like they light up when they’re excited and have life to them), taller than me, got meat on his bones

What would your absolute dream partner be like?

Sweet, an absolute nerd, adorable, knows how to charm the heck out of me, ambitious (I’m describing someone if you haven't caught on yet)

7 names that you really love?

James, Amelia, Sophie, Noah, Riley, Madison/Maddie, Samuel

Do you like your name? what would you change it to if you could?

No I hate it, I’d change it to Elizabeth which is my middle name. 

What is your biggest but most impossible-seeming dream in life?

Living in the middle of NYC

Do you collect anything? why’d you start?

Tsum Tsums because they’re cute af and I can’t resist, and I really want to start collecting pins.

When you’re hanging out in your room, do you usually sit on the bed, a chair, the floor, or somewhere else?

Bed.

How many pillows are on your bed?

6 because I bought all of the pillows for the apartment aside from the two he brought and I took them when I left.

Do you share a room with anybody? Have you ever (as in long term, not a sleep over)?

I don’t currently, but I shared with Lexi when were little, I had roommates for 3/4 years of college, and I shared with Nick in our apartment until the end.

Are there any posters or artwork on your walls? What are they?

I have an SIO poster, a One Direction poster, posters of the 5SOS boys, and a Callahan family crest from Ireland. (I really need to redecorate).

Where do you keep your clothes?

Dresser and closet (and the laundry basket of unfolded clothes that never seems to get emptied)

What color are your walls?

Purple.

Is your mattress on a frame or the floor?

On a frame.

What position do you sleep in?

On my side usually but I can sleep in all positions really.

What���s your favorite part of your room?

My bed.

What’s your least favorite part of your room?

It’s a god damn mess right now and that it heats up with the morning sun so it’s always hot.

How many hours a day on average do you spend in your room?

LOL way too many.

Have you ever been told that you spend too much time in your room/never go outside/live in your room/etc?

Yeah all the time.

Is there a desk in your room? Do you actually use it for homework?

There is and no I literally don’t but I should.

Is there a tv in your room?

Yes there’s a TV in my room.

If your bedroom could look any way you want, forgetting cost and practicality, what would it look like?

Clean and Tumblr-y

Do you put stuff under your bed?

I don’t try to but stuff ends up under there.

If you play an instrument, do you practice in your room or somewhere else?

When I was in college I rarely practiced in my room. If I do practice now (rarely) I do it in the living room.

Do you charge your phone next to your bed?

On my bed.

How many windows are in your room?

Just 1. 

Do you have a private/connected bathroom?

No I wish.

Do you keep makeup, jewelry, lotion, perfume/cologne, and hair stuff in your room or the bathroom?

It’s in my room. I keep it all in the Alex 5 drawers from IKEA.

What is your dream job?

HR but I’ve also been super interested in marketing lately? Also interior design or wedding planner.

What’s your favorite sport to watch on TV?

Baseball but also hockey? I’ve never been a hockey fan until I started watching the Preds in the playoffs this year and I’m totally into it now.

Who is your favorite athlete?

Nick Castellanos 😍

Have you ever been in love?

I have.

Do you currently love someone?

It’s unrequited and complicated so I just say no usually.

Do you want a relationship?

Not right now. In the future, yes.

How long was your longest relationship?

Over 2 years.

How long does it take for you to know you love someone?

Not long.

Is it special to you if your s/o meets your parents?

Depends on the situation. Like for my exes it wasn’t but if I started dating someone in Tennessee it would be different cause my parents live 500+ miles away.

Do you watch Game of Thrones?

I’ve watched parts of it.

Have you ever been to Michigan?

Lived here for most of the 22 years I’ve been alive.

Have you ever went on a road trip with a boyfriend?

Nick and I drove back to Michigan once but we were mad at each other the whole time so there's that.

Do you support abortion?

I have no say over what someone else does with their body.

Are you an extrovert or an introvert?

Introvert hardore.

Glitter or feathers?

GLITTER

Daisies or buttercups?

Daisies

Have you ever self harmed?

Yes.

Are you more rational or emotional?

Emotional lmao.

What’s something you love to do but feel guilty about after/during?

Inevitably someone makes me feel bad every time I have sex with someone I’m not dating. 

Have you ever had sex with someone you weren’t dating (but had feelings for) in the hopes that they would ask you out later?

Lol, not for that reason, although I would love it if he did ask me out.

Do you ever turn your phone off because you don’t want to talk?

The only time I ever did that was after Ashlyn died because I was mad at Nick because he wouldn’t stop playing video games with his friends to come over.

Have you ever been to a gay pride parade?

Not a parade but I went to the pride festival in DC this past weekend.

Would you take your dream job if it were out of the country?

More than likely. I’m in a position where I could right now.

What is your zodiac sign?

Libra

What do you like to do when you’re home alone?

Sing very loudly.

Should the guy always pay for the date?

No. I’m hella independent and most of the time I hate when other people pay for shit.

What kind of music calms you down?

Most music calms me down.

Who did you last go to a park with?

I went walking on a path/river thing with sunshine this past weekend. It’s not really a park but like idk?

Have you ever been robbed?

My iPod got stolen when I was like 12.

When was the last time you were on an airplane?

Last week.

Are you currently crushing on someone? 

Yeah.

Do you think your crush likes you back?

I actually don’t know how he feels? I know he liked me at one time and then a thing happened and we accepted that we couldn’t actually be together but then we were together and it felt really right and I don’t know how he feels now.

Is anyone currently crushing on you?

Other than him probably not.

Have you ever been in a long term relationship? 

Yes two.

Have you ever been asked out? 

Yes.

Have you ever asked someone out? 

I've pushed someone to ask me out but that’s the closest.

Have you ever kissed your crush? 

Yes.

Has your crush ever kissed you? 

Yes. 

Are you more of a flirt or a hopeless romantic? 

Both

Do you have a crush on the person you last kissed?

Yes.

Have you ever confessed your feelings knowing they were unrequited? 

Lol story of my life.

If the person you like/love was with you right now, what would you say/do?

Um we would probably be cuddling and talking or kissing honestly. 

Have you ever broken up with someone? 

Yes.

Have you ever been broken up with? 

Not officially. Only for a break and then he begged for me to take him back.

Do you like cuddling? 

I LOVE IT

Have you ever had romantic feelings for a best friend?

That’s usually how it works for me.

Tell me about your crush:

Hair color? 

Brown

Eye color? 

Brown or green(? I’m pretty sure they’re brown and I suck I know)

Age?

We’re the same age but he will not tell me his birthday so

Build? 

He’s a little bit taller than me, he’s not scrawny but he’s not big either, like the perfect dad bod.

Clothing style? 

He barely has any clothes. He wears like jeans and t shirts and shorts he can find on sale basically. 

Stereotype? 

He's a TOTAL nerd and I’m so into it.

Hobbies? 

Computer stuff. He likes techy stuff and board games.

Are they your type? 

I don’t really have a type. He's got a killer personality and he’s SO sweet and charming and that’s what gets me. 

When did you started liking them? 

Like January I think?

Do you talk to him/her everyday? 

Not everyday.

Do you talk about them to your friends? 

Yes Colby lets me talk about him all the time.

Do you like hearing their voice? 

Yeah, it’s nice.

Do you like receiving text messages from them?

Um, yeah? That seems like a weird question.

Do you like their laugh/giggles? 

His laugh is adorable. 

When you see them, are you shy? 

NO he makes me feel so comfortable. I’ve never felt so comfortable around someone I wasn’t dating.

One day will you be with him/her?

Honestly, probably not but maybe?

Do you get jealous when he/she talks to the opposite sex? 

No. This is weird, but we actually encourage each other to get out there and be with other people since we really can’t have each other and we’ve accepted that.

Will you wait for him/her, to be yours?

I honestly don't want anything right now, so I’m willing to wait for now. Once I’m settled and know what I want in life I’ll move on if were still not together. 

Are they more shy or outgoing?  

He's outgoing

Y'all have the same group of friends?

No 

Does your crush smell nice?  

I mean, yeah. He doesn’t wear cologne or body spray or anything but his normal human smell was nice?

Does your crush have a nice smile?

That goofy smile tho (yes).

Are they kind to you?  

Yes he is SO sweet it hurts.

Are y'all considered friends or acquaintances?  

We’re friends. 

When’s the last time you saw them?

Saturday.

Do you have their phone number?  

Yeah but we usually talk through snapchat.

Is your crush talkative or more of a listener?

He's a talker but he’s a good listener too.   

Can they speak more than one language?  

90% sure he can speak at least some German. 

Where did y'all meet?  

Work.

Do they live close to you?  

No. He's literally over 500 miles away.

Have you ever been to their house? How about their bedroom?

Yes and yes.

Do you even vaguely believe your crush is interested in you? 

I answered this earlier. It’s complicated.  

If given the chance, would you have sex with them?

Yes.

Have you ever hugged or kissed your crush?  

Yes.

Ever seen em naked? Do you wanna?  

I have, and I wouldn’t say no to doing it again.

Does your crush have long hair?  

No it’s super short.

Do you think you’ll lose contact with your crush within 5 years?

I hope not but maybe.

Is your crush more naughty or good/innocent?  

He can be both.

Is your crush gay/straight/bisexual/transgender?  

When I asked him he said “bi-ish” so 

Is your crush a freak? Sexually speaking…

I’d call it adventurous and experienced.

Is your crush a virgin?  

No.

Do they have any pets?

No. 

Do they have a job? If so, where do they work?

Yes he has a job at a company which I’m not going to name. 

Do you know if they have an STD or not?

If he does he hasn’t told me, and it’s kind of common courtesy to tell someone you have an STD if you sleep with them sooooo   

What kind of music are they into?  

Um, rock probably? He also likes musicals so there’s that. 

Their fave color? If you don’t know just guess

His favorite color is blue (even though he’s blue/green colorblind). 

How long have you known em?  

Less than a year.

Their fave type of food? Guess if you don’t know

I don’t know but probably like burgers cause he tried to take me to a bar for food. 

When will you see your crush again?

Quite possibly never which is literally awful to think about. Hopefully sometime in the future.

Is your crush extremely confident?

He’s pretty confident.

What’s ultimately stopping you from making them yours?

Distance.

[burgeonmeraki]

20 Random Things You Don’t Know About Me

Hi guys! I thought I would do something a little fun, humiliating (LOL), and different on my blog today and share 20 things you might not know about me. I get it. As a reader, I, too, love learning a bit more about the people I read. So here goes!

1. I have this weird habit where I want my feet warm especially at night before I go to sleep. I usually put some lotion on it and then put my socks on. And if there are no socks, I put a pillow under my feet, like I'm a mermaid LOL. Weird, I know! But it prevents me from having leg cramps in the morning. 

That is my trophy for the singing contest. This picture was taken 2010, and I couldn’t find my trophy anymore so deal with that picture. Just kiddin’ 

2. I won first place at a singing contest at a talent show back when I was in kindergarten. I sang this 90s hit song My Heart Will Go On By Celine Dion. And I believe that if my parents put me or enrolled me in a voice lesson, girl, I could've been a singer today, and I might be joining singing contest like The Voice. But I only do the singing thing at the shower and karaoke. Hahaha

Left Pic: My oldest brother wasn’t there because he was working abroad Right Pic: My oldest sister is living in Canada, and my older brother is living in South Korea. My mom was holding her phone because that's them on the videocall.

3. I was supposed to have six siblings so that would make us a total of seven. I had an oldest sister, supposed to be the second child, who died because of some complications in her heart when she was still a newborn. Next is my Ate Jaz, which makes her my oldest sister alive. Then after Ate Jaz, my mom had a miscarriage. Basically, my Ate was in between two dead babies. And if ever my two siblings were alive today, I might not be here or I probably don't exist. I have such a huge age gap with my siblings because my mom had me at the age of 38, and she said that I was her only child who made her pregnancy and giving birth so hard. I was born via C-Section and the rest of my siblings were all delivered normal. So, lucky me for being here! LOL

My collection of Candy Magazine back in High School.

4.  Back in High School, I used to collect Candy Magazine until first-year college. This magazine helped me with all my teenage issues like self-esteem, body image, peer pressure, beauty, fashion, dating, friendship, career, etc. They have a bunch of articles there that I enjoyed reading. And I've always wanted to be one of their models, but I was an ugly duckling, and I'm not the confident type of girl back then. I still kept these magazines inside my sentimental box. 

This is my box full of photos, letters, diaries, and other stuff.

5. Speaking of the sentimental box, I'm a very sentimental person. I have boxes of stuff from my friends, family, and ex-boyfriends. I kept this stuff for good memories purposes because I like reminiscing good memories. It reminds me of these real moments that I was once shared with these people, and it's like my return ticket to that memories, whether it's funny, romantic, or sad. Plus good times need to be remembered. They need to celebrate and felt. You know, we're not getting any younger anymore, time will come that a part of our brain might forget those memories. So keeping pictures, letters, and diaries is one way to keep those memories alive.

These are my IDs from the Youth Camp Fellowship.

6. I used to be active in Church back when I was in High School. I even joined the Music Ministry and tried to learn how to play the piano. I went to a few Youth Camp Fellowship and met a lot of people, and it was fun. The reason why I became so active in Church because I had a crush on our drummer guy (he’s my first kiss). Yuck! LOL

Love Me Like You Do By Ellie Goulding (Short Clip) / Stay By Rihanna (Cover)

7. As I was saying on number 6, I used to play the piano before. They made us choose a musical instrument that we want to play, and I was supposedly gonna go for drums because it's cool, plus I used to listen to a lot of rock bands back then, but I didn't choose it because my crush is going to be the one who's going to teach us, and I was shy, so I end up with piano. I actually tried learning how to play the guitar but you got to have callouses on your fingers in order to play it well because it freaking hurts girl! Hehe

8. Okay, let's talk about Puppy Love. When I was in grade school, I have a crush on this guy who's like 3 years older than me, and he's our neighbor. When I got into 6th grade, he started noticing me, and we became, I don't know, together? Like boyfriend and girlfriend? Haha. But since I'm a shy type kind of girl, I was having a hard time talking to him without blushing, I couldn't even let him hold my hands, or hug me, or kiss me. None of that happened. So we write letters to each other (cellphone is not a thing at that time). I know it's all cheesy and mushy and all, but anyways. I asked my niece to be our messenger haha. So I will give the letter to her, and she will give it to him, and then vice versa. Okay, so this is the funny part!! My niece left my goddamn letter for him at our dining table! And my sister and brother read the whole thing. I was so annoyed at my niece. My siblings were like mad at me for having a boyfriend at such a young age because you know, I'm their little sister, and little sissy is not allowed to have a boyfriend LOL. And then they threatened me that they're going to tell it to my mom, so I broke up with him after a week using a letter haha. We kept in touch til I got into High School. I think we went out before, we watch a movie but I brought a chaperone with me. HAHA we didn’t end up together because he’s such a playboy. FYI: I don't count him as my ex-boyfriend. LOL

9. I had a puppy named Mocha because she’s dark brown and it suits her. She’s a shih tzu and she’s the cutest puppy in the world but she died because she got sick. I miss her so much! :(

Snorkeling at Coron, Palawan.

10. I love going to the beach. I love swimming! My mom’s sister owns a beach resort and it was just an hour away from our place. We always go there every summer, and that’s where I learned how to swim, not in the swimming pool, but in the ocean. I was supposedly going to be a swimmer. My 4th grade teacher trained me, and he trained other students in other sports like badminton and volleyball, and they joined sports competition, and they win medals. So I got very interested because I want to win medals too. So I did my training but I was having a hard time to dive. I know I'm doing it wrong because the water kept going inside my nose and it freaking hurts. So I stopped and quit the training because I couldn't do it properly. Haha

I think I was in 3rd Grade in here. Lol

11. I joined Girl Scout back in grade school. I can't remember why I joined. All I know is I am going to have a lot of fun in here. And that was my first camping experience. We camped out at our school, and yeah, it was fun and scary at the same time because there are lots of ghost stories in our school. Our motto: "Girl Scouts are always ready and prepared.” 

I also joined Drum & Bugle. I was a Majorette, the one who throws the baton in the air and twirls it. I just love to dance back then, and nope, I'm not a professional dancer. It's just that life is better when you dance! :)

Junior Year High School. Cheer Dance Competition during our Intramurals Day. 

12. When I got into High School, I've always wanted to join Cheer Dance Competition since I was in my freshman year. But most of the girls in my school back then were all pretty and mean. I only joined when I was in my junior year, and we won 2nd place. I'm really not a good dancer, but I know I've got moves. I just don't know what happened today LOL. I'm one of those girls who they always lift and toss because obviously in the picture I'm thin as a rake haha. Then I tried joining again in College, and I got into an accident. I freaking fell flat on my back while we're doing our pyramid stunt and no one's there to catch me. Ouchie! I'm on the second level, standing on my right leg at this guy's shoulder, and then my left leg was angled and lifted because on the third level, a girl's going to stand on my left thigh. She was scared and not keeping her balance well so she dragged me backward with her. Someone caught her and none for me because the way I go down the pyramid is by jumping in front. Our coach didn't see that coming and I thought I am gonna go home with broken hips.

Left to Right: Elementary Graduation Day; Sophomore Year in College; Junior Year - wearing retainer; Retainer and Braces Free 

13. I first had my braces when I was in 6th grade because my sister got one, so I want one too LOL. I had it for a very long time. Since I got it at such a young age, my teeth were not complete yet. And based on my x-ray, I've got several impacted wisdom tooth that's going to come out so my doctor waited for it. I only got it removed when I was in my 3rd-year college. So I had my braces for 7 years. HAHA

14. I can’t whistle. I tried. I don’t know how to. I can’t do it. PERIOD

Cupcake Nail Art, Cheetah Print Nail Art, Polka Dots Nail Art

15. I love doing my nail art from when I was in High School to College. I don't like my nails plain and simple back then, so I put a design on it and make it fun. I'm always into art and being creative. Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun. So my parents saw that potential in me, and they made me choose Architecture as my profession.

These are my high school arts that I saw on my facebook LOL.

Circa 2015. Photographed By: Iks Virina

16. I'm not a morning person. I hate waking up so early. I only wake up so early if I have important errands to run or if I have to go to work. I love sleeping during the day and staying up during the night. I'm a night owl. There's something about being up at night that makes it more peaceful to work and think. Most of my creative juices come out during the night. And I've read that night owls have better mental alertness than early risers. I don't need caffeine to keep me up at night. LOL

Circa 2015. Photographed By: Iks Virina

17. I'm not a coffee person. Don't get me wrong, I love the smell of coffee. It's just that the coffee doesn't like me at all. Every time I drink coffee, especially those with high caffeine like espresso, I end up palpitating and having heartburn. I can drink it but not too much, and sometimes I preferred Frappuccino. I'm more of a tea person. I love chamomile and red berries flavors.

FEU I.D. vs BPSU I.D.

18. I went to two schools back in College. When I was in my senior year in High School, I didn't really plan my college life. I have no idea what school I am going to attend. I only know was my mom wants me to take up Architecture even though I don't want to. So yeah, I end up going to Far Eastern University for 2 years. Then, my Dad, he was working abroad in Libya, and there was a war at that time in the Middle East. So they had to go home and stopped working. We have no income, we had financial issues, and that's when I decided to return home and study in my hometown, get a scholarship because I have no choice. I was in college for 6 years, supposedly 5 years only but I had to retake some of my subjects that I already took up in my previous school because the school didn't credit it.

Back in 2015, I tried to dress up like Blair Waldorf. She loves wearing headband hehe

19. My favorite show of all time is Gossip Girl. It's like the first rated r tv shows that I really got hooked up and fall in love with. It's the reason why I've always wanted to go to New York. I have watched this already a few times, and it doesn't get old. I love Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively), her style, and the way she carries her clothes. She's this free-spirited, charming, nice, laidback IT GIRL. And then Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) aside from her classy, preppy style, I like her domineering and loyal personality. Plus her romantic on and off love affair with Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick). But my biggest crush on this show is Nate Archibald (Chace Crawford), oh god I love his eyes, it's so sexy! HAHA

Sandbox Adventure at Pampanga; Bike Trailing and Wakeboarding at Nuvali, Laguna; and Skimboarding at Boracay

20. I love some good adventure. I have this bucket list of things to do before I die, and I want to fulfill that. Like traveling the whole world, plus I want to go skydiving or bungee jumping. Aside from that, you're just not creating memories, you're also trying new things. And I'm always up for trying new things, and I like challenging myself sometimes. Life is boring if you don't at least try or go out of your comfort zone. Just try new things once in a while, and don't be afraid to soar high.

What’s something random about you? And if you make a post, share it below. Thank you so much for dropping by!

Love Lots, Jamie

[ariseadaptascertain]

1-92 muhaha

Okay, but only cuz I’m in class not paying attention anyways 😅

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

Yes. definitely.


2. You talked to an ex today, correct?

Nope


3. Have you taken someones virginity?

Uhhhhhhhhh

4. Is trust a big issue for you?

I’ll trust you 110% no questions asked until you give me a reason not to 


5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?

No, I don’t like anyone right now 


6. What are you excited for?

All of my family from California to get here tomorrow, thanksgiving dinner, football and beer 🏈🍻


7. What happened tonight?

It’s 2:30PM so ask me later


8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?

Depends… some people are cute and funny wasted, so some I don’t mind.. others just really shouldn’t get drunk lol 🥃


9. Is confidence cute

To an extent, yes 


10. What is the last beverage you had?

Water💧


11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?

I have 2 brothers and a dad 


12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?

I own way too many pairs of skinny jeans 


13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?

Saturday is my brothers birthday so dinner and celebrate with the family 🎈


14. What are you going to spend money on next?

Um probably food or gas… oh actually I bought my dog a sweater on amazon earlier so maybe that? 🐾


15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?

No I am not 


16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?

People are always changing and finding themselves so definitely 


17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

My older brother 


18. The last time you felt broken?

A few weeks ago 


19. Have you had sex today?

no action happening here 


20. Are you starting to realize anything?

What I deserve 


21. Are you in a good mood?

Currently, yes😁


22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?

Am I trying to die? 🦈


23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?

Yes, mine are darker though 👀


24. What do you want right this second?

To get out of class 


25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Wtf bye? lol at least that’s what I think I’d say idk strangely I’ve been here before and idk we stayed together but we were never really together and it was confusing but that was 4 years ago and I was stupid so now, i’d probably just say bye👋🏽


26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Um the top half is😅 


27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

NO I need someone just as strange as myself 


28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Someone’s speech in my public speaking class at noon

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes


30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?

That’s a tricky one, depends 


31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?

Um sorry I think you have the wrong person👭


32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?

I don’t have feelings for anyone now, the last person I had feelings for knew though


33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?

No, I’ll have one every once in awhile

34. Listening to?

Right now an OChem lecture🙄 music wise, everything. Currently I’m listening to some throw back usher. But Marc e. Bassy, j cole, chance, been into Kelsea ballerini’s new album, Lauv, Lany, CVBZ, Devin Dawson, Parson James, maren Morris, post Malone, Noah kahan, Khalid, Chelsea cutler, Ben Howard…. list goes on I listen to everything all the time

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?

Yes exam days 


36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?

Yes, not sure who they are now or what they are doing but I know where geographically 


37. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’d like to, but I don’t think so.. at least for me, I don’t know a person until I meet them, I can’t develop feelings for them until I spend time with them 


38. Who did you last call?

The Ford dealership 


39. Who was the last person you danced with?

@iriseagain lolol


40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?

Because I loved them 


41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?

Omg um I made cupcakes on a Tuesday in October I think, so cute they were on my snap chat, go follow me lol 🍰


42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?

No I did not 


43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I embarrass myself every day haha but I love it that’s just me it’s cool 


44. Do you tan in the nude?

I would if I didn’t have neighbors but hey tan lines are attractive 


45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?

No, I probably would have made it more memorable though because I honestly don’t remember where we were or what we were doing 


46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?

Nope


47. Who was the last person to call you?

Haha my mom 


48. Do you sing in the shower?

Yes, loud and proud 🎤


49. Do you dance in the car?

As much as I can without crashing or being a hazard to others, but yes always


50. Ever used a bow and arrow?

No🤔 I’d like to 


51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Senior year of high school


52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Of course, but that’s why people love them right? 


53. Is Christmas stressful?

No it’s wonderful and full of love, pine, and everything warm🎅🏽🎄


54. Ever eat a pierogi?

Yes they are good with sour cream 


55. Favorite type of fruit pie?

Apple🍎🍏


56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

Veterinarian or Teacher or Surgeon of some sort


57. Do you believe in ghosts?

Sometimes hah especially after a scary movie👻


58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

ALL THE DAMN TIME


59. Take a vitamin daily?

No…💊


60. Wear slippers?

I have one pair from like 6th grade I’ll throw on every once in awhile for fun cuz I’m weird


61. Wear a bath robe?

No I do not


62. What do you wear to bed?

Sports bra and Calvins usually unless it’s cold then a hoodie 


63. First concert?

It was a Jason Aldean, Florida Georgia Line, Dierks Bentley concert 


64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

I love target but I normally just shop at Wally World 


65. Nike or Adidas?

Um I can’t. If I had to I guess Nike cuz I own more Nike ✔️


66. Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheetos… but if y'all like cottage cheese (which I know most of you will be like EW.) dip your Fritos in cottage cheese. That’s some good shit 


67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Retired softball player so Seeds all the way 


68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?

All the old stuff from like jr high love story, you belong with me, picture to burn, mine


69. Ever take dance lessons?

No I probably should though💃🏻


70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

No… maybe something medical wise


71. Can you curl your tongue?

No, I can make a stupid face while attempting to do so though that you’d probably like 


72. Ever won a spelling bee?

lol Yes 😂😂🤓


73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yes I have, I think whenever I get a puppy I go cry to myself about it, but many times… when I see beautiful things or beautiful people in my life I cry sometimes at how beautiful everything is, songs make me happy and cry… don’t judge me I’m appreciative and emotional 😅


74. What is your favorite book?

The giving tree 🌳


75. Do you study better with or without music?

with, quietly though in the background just to keep my mind going 


76. Regularly burn incense?

Regularly burn candles? YES


77. Ever been in love?

once, 5-6 years ago


78. Who would you like to see in concert?

Sooooo many people… before I die, chance, marc. e. bassy, usher needs to do a tb concert, pink, Carrie underwood, beyonce, I’ve been to so many concerts, the list goes on and on for people I want to see 


79. What was the last concert you saw?

I think it was Halsey


80. Hot tea or cold tea?

On cold days, hot. On hot days, cold. 


81. Tea or coffee?

Coffee ☕️ but both 


82. Favorite type of cookie?

My moms chocolate chip 🍪


83. Can you swim well?

Very 🌊


84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Yes…. can’t everyone? 


85. Are you patient?

I work with children and sick angry people who need their meds all day, so VERY 


86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

Aw a band could be cute, but if it was my wedding DJ all the way 


87. Ever won a contest?

Yes… a few
88. Ever have plastic surgery? My cheeks are naturally this way I promise


89. Which are better black or green olives?

Um I eat more black just cuz they are more common, but green taste like butter and are more expensive so I have those only when I’m treating myself or trying to be fancy 


90. Opinions on sex before marriage?

Shit happens🤷🏽‍♀️ just be someone you are proud of

91. Best room for a fireplace?

Mines in the family room which is nice… but honestly best place for a fire is outside surrounded by good people with some s'mores and a drink in your hand 🔥

92. Do you want to get married?

I do 💍

[fraeulein-elster]

For the ask thing: all of em (if you want)

omg okay challenge accepted:1. What is you middle name?Ann2. How old are you?273. When is your birthday?the 6th of september4. What is your zodiac sign?Virgo5.What is your favorite color?blue and pastel pink

6.What’s your lucky number?3

7.Do you have any pets?not anymore, no :(

8.Where are you from?good ol’ Germany. Northern Germany

9.How tall are you?5′8′’

10.What shoe size are you?european 41 (US 7)

11.How many pairs of shoes do you own?honestly I have no idea. I have at least 3 or 4 different kinds of black high heels, 2 or 3 pairs of other high heels, I have my ranger boots, my pastel pink winter boots, my normal black boots, I have 2 pairs of black boots that I bought for cosplay.. don’t make me count them all :D

12.What was your last dream about?it was something absolutely random and I remember my mom being in it. but I have no idea what it was about.

13.What talents do you have?my talents include overthinking, being depressed and lonely and isolating myself and also hating myself, I’m really good at this.

14.Are you psychic in any way?not that I know of. I have a pretty good intuition most of the time though.

15.Favorite song?atm it’s “Kætteren” by Myrkur

16.Favorite movie?Spirited Away

17.Who would be your ideal partner?I don’t think about that too much. I’d be happy with someone equally weird as me, nice and considerate, respectful and open minded. I tend to fall for unusual people.

18.Do you want children?yes and no. I love children and would love to have kids of my own but I also don’t want them to experience this fucked up world. I would just feel guilty and the need to protect them from everything.

19.Do you want a church wedding?fuck no. what am I supposed to do in a church?

20.Are you religious?kinda. I am what the kids call a filthy heathen.

21.Have you ever been to the hospital?nope. only to visit others. and for my own birth of course, lol.

22.Have you ever got in trouble with the law?no. I’m a good noodle.

23.Have you ever met any celebrities?sadly not.

24.Baths or showers?well if I had a proper bath tub I would take a bath more often but I only have a shower so yeah.

25.What color socks are you wearing?beige

26.Have you ever been famous?hahaha what no. well there was a time back in 2012 when everyone and their mom lost their shit about some pictures featuring me and my dearest friend @fahrlight in our Natasha Romanoff + Loki cosplays. that was wild. but people quickly lost interest in me (and I don’t blame them, I’m not a frequent cosplayer and also a potato face)

27.Would you like to be a big celebrity?nah not really. I would like to be a good actress though.so anyone wanna hire me for their film projects? I’m not a trained actress but I’m very passionate about it xD

28.What type of music do you like?metal. heck yeah.

29.Have you ever been skinny dipping?nope.

30. how many pillows do you sleep with?only one and that one’s pretty flat because I get headaches when my head is too high up while sleeping and I have problems breathing when my face is buried in fabric and fluffiness.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?fetal probably xD or on my belly (my boobs hate me for that but I like it too much to stop)

32.How big is your house?my apartment is about 60 square meters.

33.What do you typically have for breakfast?an apple and 3-4 slices of bread mostly (when I’m at work)on the weekends I’ll have anything that’s close enough to grab without moving too much.

34.Have you ever fired a gun?not a gun but a crossbow.

35.Have you ever tried archery?not really no. but I’d love to.

36.Favorite clean word?crunchy

37.Favorite swear word?I say fuck a lot. like, a LOT!

38.What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?I like sleep too much so I think about 20 - 24 hours?

39.Do you have any scars?yup.

40.Have you ever had a secret admirer?hahahahaha no I don’t think so. I’m disgusting.

41.Are you a good liar?I think so? maybe??

42.Are you a good judge of character?most of the time, yes.

43.Can you do any other accents other than your own?nah, sometimes I like to switch between germany dialects but that’s all. anything else besides our northern german dialect sounds stupid anyway ;) kidding, you guys are okay.

44.Do you have a strong accent?hahaha apparently I do. one friend (who is from another state in germany) told me “you really sound like a northern german” and I never really realized that before :D

45.What is your favorite accent?wtf’s up with accents anyway? I don’t have a favorite besides our own of course xD but I do like listening to foreigners speaking german.

46.What is your personality type?INFP (if this is what the question is about)

47.What is your most expensive piece of clothing?I have no idea, I try not to waste too much money on one piece of clothing.

48.Can you curl your tongue?yes I can.

49.Are you an innie or an outie?both actually :D

50.Left or right handed?right.

51.Are you scared of spiders?ugh, yes I am. they’re disgusting.

52.Favorite food?pasta, fish, tomatos, kale, coleslaw (!)

53.Favorite foreign food?sushi

54.Are you a clean or messy person?kinda both

55.Most used phrased?in german I say “das ist ja nicht so knusprig” a lot, which translates to “that’s not very crunchy” and I say that to everything. I’m fucking weird.

56.Most used word?probably “fuck”

57.How long does it take for you to get ready?on work days about 45 minutes for showering, brushing teeth, preparing my breakfast for work, putting on make up and getting dressed.

58.Do you have much of an ego?I’m pretty positive I lost it somewhere.

59.Do you suck or bite lollipops?I only bite them when they’re almost gone.

60.Do you talk to yourself?all the fucking time. every day. I also talk to my dolls and call them my children.

61.Do you sing to yourself?yes

62.Are you a good singer?nah, not really. but also not super bad.

63.Biggest Fear?fire, strangers, spiders

64.Are you a gossip?not really but I sure do like listening to people spilling some tea sometimes.

65.Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?I don’t really pay attention to the genre when I’m watching a movie.

66.Do you like long or short hair?depends on the person but I do have a preference for long hair, also on myself.

67.Can you name all 50 states of America?of course not, I’m from germany. the last time I was in school learning about that was at least 10 years ago.

68.Favorite school subject?english, in which I had even better grades than in german, don’t ask me why.

69.Extrovert or Introvert?I would say occasionally outgoing introvert

70.Have you ever been scuba diving?no but I’d also love to do that!

71.What makes you nervous?social interactions of any kind.

72.Are you scared of the dark?nope. to me the dark is rather calming.

73.Do you correct people when they make mistakes?depends on the situation, the person and the mistake. but I remember getting shit for being a know-it-all so I tend to bite my tongue more often.

74.Are you ticklish?yes and if anyone tries to tickle me they will have to be prepared to get their teeth kicked in.

75.Have you ever started a rumor?oh hell no.

76.Have you ever been in a position of authority?I kind of am, I work with children.

77.Have you ever drank underage?yup, I started with 14. my mom said it was okay as long as I didn’t get caught by the police. parenting done right, yeah :D

78.Have you ever done drugs?nope and I don’t want to start.

79.Who was your first real crush?oh shit I have no idea. it might be that one girl that I got introduced to by a friend. I really can’t remember, it was so long ago. I am old!

80.How many piercings do you have?2 right now, my nose and my belly button. I used to have my bottom lip pierced but I took it out a while ago because it’s hard applying lipstick with that shit.

81.Can you roll your Rs?yes!

82.How fast can you type?pretty fast but not super duper fast.

83.How fast can you run?not as fast as I could run back in my school years.

84.What color is your hair?dyed black atm. I might go back to brown.

85.What color is your eyes?blue

86.What are you allergic to?besides dust, nothing really.

87.Do you keep a journal?nope

88.What do your parents do?my mom has never finished a training because she got pregnant with my sorry self before she could. she’s currently hired as a cleaner. my dad is a post man.

89.Do you like your age?it’s okay I guess.

90.What makes you angry?everything inconvenient, disrespectful people, sheer stupidity and 274805 other things.

91.Do you like your own name?I used to hate it but it’s kinda growing on me.

92.Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?of course omg every girl I know has thought of potential baby names. I’d like Ivar but not (only) because of (historical) Ivar but also because I like the sound of it. and for a girl I’d like Idun.

93.Do you want a boy or a girl for a child?I couldn’t care less.

94.What are your strengths?I’m loyal and also I’m not an asshole so yeah..

95.What are your weaknesses?all of them. I’m impatient and angry a lot.

96.How did you get your name?my mom really liked the actress Deborah Rennard. that’s why she named me Deborah. and since my mom also has a middle name, I had to have one too. there’s not a lot that goes with Deborah, so she finally came up with Deborah Ann. the problem is that I’m from germany and everyone’s pronouncing it incorrectly. that’s why I used to hate my name so much.

97.Were your ancestors royalty?I have no idea. probably not xD

98.Do you have any scars?am I mistaken or didn’t I already answer that question? well yes I do have scars.

99.Color of your bedspread?pink atm.

100. Color of your room?all my walls are white.

[oleanderblume]

spaghettieds

I was tagged by @spaghettieds

Rules: tag ten of your followers you want to get to know better

Name: Christen

Gender: I’m Nonbinary (or agender, since we are a system and just go fornothing in particular)

Star Sign: Virgo

Height: 5′4

What images do you have set as your desktop/lock screen: lol, i think its one of those default landscape settings? its like a snow covered valley with a few trees.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: No, but we have had pretty attractive teachers, one being a coach Baleau and a mr Ochoa, who were both considerably attractive and had very nice asses

What was your last text message: to my mom “I’m carpooling with Carolyn (my sister) to nana and gee’s since i’m on the way” the funny thing is this was a complete and total lie, as we are currently crashing on our sisters couch until we get the van fixed/buy a new one, which might happen tomorrow!

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years: probably chillaxing somewhere obscure in a fold out char next to the van hopefully in Thailand somewhere? 

If you could be anywhere else right now where would you be:in my van, not feeling like a burden every time i see my sister

What was your coolest Halloween Costume: I was a little sister from bioshock 2 (the concept design was objectively better done than both the burial at sea dlc and the original game) had the giant needle and everything, wore that costume/cosplay to fandays 2013, there’s even a picture on their website :)

What’s your favorite 90s show: we were only like 5 in the 90s so i guess we’ll do the bleed in 90s and go with hey Arnold because who doesn’t love football headed mediocre kids?

Who was your last kiss: i kissed my cat yesterday when i took him for a walk

Have you ever been stood up: no, never dated enough to get stood up, but i have accidentally stood up a lot of other people. usually because we forget lol.

Favorite ice cream flavor: birthday cake or chocolate chip cookie dough. also green tea ice cream 

Have you ever been to Las Vegas: No, we will visit when we take our “Border of America” trip in the next year or so though. yippee~

Your favorite pair of shoes: my Earth Spirit brand hippie shoes i got for 12 bucks at wal mart, they have lasted me two years and have awesome arch support!

What is your favorite flavor: fruity stuff or creamy stuff, no coconuts at all, or sour cream.

What’s your favorite book: recently read books include The Darkest Minds and We Were Liars, but we don't have a particular favorite book

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done: once i was looking for a realy big bowl of salad we had just made, looked in the fridge, the pantry, the cubbard and cabinets only to realize it was directly in front of me. also, on a regular basis we misread our schedule and end up anywhere from and hour to a whole 5 hours before our shift starts.  

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Wonderful Little Spitfire

Aggressively Nonbinary. (He/him/his) (They/them/theirs) I really love my boyfriend (who designed this blog - go follow him @fyodor-dolokhov and @incorrect-dwsa-quotes).

I was tagged by @spookyskarsgard

Rules: tag ten of your followers you want to get to know better

Name: Milo

Gender: I’m Nonbinary as fuck y’all

Star Sign: Taurus

Height: 5′7

What images do you have set as your desktop/lock screen: on my personal laptop it’s a picture of me and my dog, on my school laptop it’s a gecko, and on my phone my lock screen is a really cute picture of my super dorky boyfriend pouting like a nerd.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher: Not really? I dunno, I mean I thought my middle school history teacher was attractive- but like it wasn’t a crush? I just appreciated his really awesome fashion sense.

What was your last text message: Ummm, “Momma, Baloo is flopping around like a dead fish. Why is my dog so weird?” Baloo is my emotional support animal, btw!

What do you see yourself doing in 10 years: A police officer in the K-9 unit, living with my significant other, (my current boyfriend if I’m lucky enough to keep the nerd in my life) and owning a snake or two, and some cats and a dog.

If you could be anywhere else right now where would you be: Alaska.

What was your coolest Halloween Costume: My Dipper Pinea costume from last year. It was awesome. I have a picture of it somewhere on my tumblr if y’all wanna see! 😇

What’s your favorite 90s show: Boy Meets World. I watch it all the time.

Who was your last kiss: My cute ass boyfriend.

Have you ever been stood up: Yeah, someone asked me out on a date in 6th grade right after I came back from pines rest and they never showed. I found out it was a dare afterword. It SUCKED.

Favorite ice cream flavor: Mint chocolate chip, or chocolate deer tracks probably.

Have you ever been to Las Vegas: Nope. I’m going sometime this year though, when my dad goes for work. My momma and I are going with him.

Your favorite pair of shoes: Just my tennis shoes. They’re comfy so yanno.

What is your favorite flavor: coconut maybe?

What’s your favorite book: That’s like asking me to pick a child. But I love reading the unedited version of ‘The Diary of Anne Frank’. It really puts things in perspective.

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Mmmm, I mean I fell down my boyfriends’ stairs two days ago and dislocated my tailbone, so maybe that?

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[themsgdiaries]

Coloring my dreams is not defined by you coloring my skin.

I'm supposed to be "studying" but here I am #yesshewrites again 😅

2 years ago, I read an article discussing about how Filipinos are the "Black" of the Asians. (not only they viewed and looked us down about our educational degrees but ultimately the fact that we are the dark-skinned of the Asia).

When I was little, I do not care about my skin color. The only moment I get to experience and became aware of it and became an issue was when I transferred into a public school. At such a young age, like 2nd grade or 3rd my classmates and all other sections called me Ms. Maputi (for they do not know my name) and the little boy whom I remember who was nice to me, his name is Aldrin was called "guruto" for being dark- skinned. It was the time where the teleserye Marina was everyone's favorite. I was complimented a lot for having fairer skin than anyone else and I was not really aware how it impacted anybody else for I was a privileged one.

Entering adolescence, everyone's finding the best version of themselves. At 6th grade, my Mom gifted me an Allue coral blush on as a graduation gift. It was my first set of make up and my love of it grew. I was consistently envied and judged. I don't know if it was because I apply make up or just because others wanted too but they couldn't afford one. Make up and shower gels from balikbayan boxes helped me to embrace and find myself, yet others judged and others praised me. 

Growing up, all our hormones were developing and as we face another chapter of being highschool, my classmates faced the problem of suffering from breakouts, oily faces, and clogged pores resulting white heads and black heads, and that popular skin deceased called "an-an". On top of that, we learned about face washes and perfumes. The boys discovered hair gels, body sprays, and how to act cool. The girls were all spraying colognes, fixing their hairs, and felt confident with the floral baby bras they're wearing though nobody really sees it. Some were starting to bloom, so they explored and used red lollipop to stain their lips to validate the strict rules in our school that they are not wearing makeup. One thing were common to both the girls and the boys, that like their teachers and tbeir parents everyone were obsessed of skin whitening soaps and staying out of the sun. My generation were the days where everyone says, "Maganda sana , kaso maitim" or "Maputi lang yan, pero hindi maganda". In my teenage years, there was never really anyone who fit the fixated standard of what was deemed perfection so we were all doomed.

Going back with my friends, I was never aware of how hard their struggles were for though we live in an all-summer-year-round- weather my skin seems abnormal for not producing much oil. Then, there I gained another name as Ms. No sweat glands. It was just okay. I do not care about it. But as I looked back today, I was also brought to the days how my adolescence was always me carrying that J&J talcum powder on my purse and that precious mirror. lol. lol. When I saved money from my allowance or momma will do our grocery shopping, I will upgrade my powder into that pink Pond's pinkish white glow powder sometimes sponsoring my whole clique. I cannot remember if I ever desired to be lighter when I was younger for outside the circle of my family I am just OK. But inside, I was often decribed as maitim or dark compared to my siblings and parents.

One particular moment I can remember was when I went to ibayo, a place where you get to cross a river to get to the countryside.I usually spend my summer there. A typical summer there would be chilling and eating magoes under its tree and playing endlessly until the sun goes down. My cousins, younger sisters and I were pretending we were hunters, pirates, geographers, and paleontologists digging fossils, catching any insects, and looking for fruits to eat. We found shells, bones, coins. We dig on mountains, caves , and farms. When we're lucky we will find a peso coins, or dug a "kamote" or a "singkamas" out of nowhere. We're happy though we never really tasted one because we are afraid to eat it because we might die from being poisoned. Unfortunately, most of our days were us being scolded for digging up my Tatay's bed of pumpkins or the newly transferred tomatoes, okra, eggplant seedlings which he grew from his green thumb and hardwork. That's not the worst part, wait for this one: the worst we would dig is a fresh manure of a person or an animal. We would vomit as if our intestines wanted to leave our little mouth swearing we will never hunt again-- which never happened. We would then ran as if we saw a ghost and as if the "deadly golden treasure" has its own feet chasing us to touch our skins and invade us. When the sun is out, that's also the time where my skin will transform as black as the night and the only fair skin left in me was my legs. So I was proud of my legs lol. I am as black as our Philippine tamaraw/carabao, My arms were as dark as a burnt coconut shell. My face is as red as my father's tomatoes surviving our violent hands of dig and tug. It was fun being under the sun though my cheeks were rosy, burning as is chilis were applied on my skin. The rashes and sunburns where just normal for me, but me being darker and darker each day was what I disliked the most.

One day, I complained to my Dad and said, "Ang itim ko na". My Dad replied "Hindi ka naman maputi". I do not know why he told me that. I do not know if he wanted me to not feel bad for being"darker" or he just consistently sees me darker than anyone else in our family. Everytime I will tell my Tatay I am maitim "na" he would say "hindi ka naman maputi" I never knew the reason behind it: If he wanted me to accept who I am or to break my little privilege I believed which my classmates praised me for. (My Tatay always taught me to accept myself and how God made me for who I am. I remember I was totally upset with tears welling up on my eyes for being bullied when I was 7, my classmates told me I was "salot" for being "kulot". They would chant "kulot- salot" throughout the school year. My Dad told me, "Alam mo kung anong ginawa sa'yo ng Diyos nung pinganak ka yun ang bagay sa'yo. Yun ang mas maganda sa'yo". From then, I was proud of my locks and my Mon maintained, caref, and made me the most beautiful curly girl. But not later on as I undergo adoslecence, I was swayed. I conformed to the idea that the starigthter, the better . I was in love of it. I regret though , I would trade my expensive hair brush just to get those curls back) Sorry for that long segway, my memories were just right here right now lol.

So,

After every summer vacation, I would enjoy a shower in our home. My showers were like hours and hours of ritual any Filipina women, especially young people would have probabally done in their life. Our shower room is like a spa. My mom has more than 5 body scrubs. From back scrub, body scrub, loofah, stone, towels, etc. I would lather myself with safe guard to kill the bacteria, then the essential soap in our home, Dr.Kaufman which makes me feel I am the most bacteria-free person in the world. The I would lather myself with papaya soap, bearing in mind that the longer I soak on it the lighter I will be. Feeling triumphant, I will rinse myself then a salt scrub and a coffee ground scrub would finish and seal all the ritual I have done.

I was not "much" discriminated on my skin color. But I have witnessed the worst. I have seen some of my friends and classmates feeling completely confident for being lighter (a lot of times a "little" lighter) making them a snob and a total jerk. While they were proud of being lighter, their hearts became darker for others. On the other hand, I have also seen those who were darker, those were the broken hearted young people who were called monkeys, "uling", "ulikba", "maitim", "itim", "anino"/shadow, "anak ng lagim", "banaks", and many many discriminative names.

Up to now, there are about 2 million skin ligthening soaps which are sold in the Philippines. Skind toners, injections, pills, and any other means for a "lighter and better" skin were not included yet. The truth is I WAS one of them. I thought it must be. I should be and that I need to be.

The media told me to. The people I idolized both I know personally and not made me believe. The education I had told me to. Calling Ifugaos "Aetas" (taga bundok) with their curly hairs and darkest skin I have ever seen.

Day by day I was whispered and molded with their colonized mentality.

And when I grow older, I was shocked that the nightmare has just began. Graduating from Highschool, I found some of my friends being scared in what future awaits them.

"kulang ako sa height"

"hindi kasi ako magaling sa English"

"pag tumanda ka na, wala ng mag ha'hire sa'yo"

"dapat kasi dun maputi, matangos ang ilong"

"sayang. kung pwede lang sana"

These were just some of the phrases I can recall to the extent.

And now I am telling you, it doesn't matter.

"kulang ako sa height"

"hindi kasi ako magaling sa English"

"pag tumanda ka na, wala ng mag ha'hire sa'yo"

"dapat kasi dun maputi, matangos ang ilong"

"sayang. kung pwede lang sana"

chuck all these mentality.

Then, I came to see the dark world of being hired and employed . The gas-gas na statement in each bio data and that line under every (job) wanted sign:

"With pleasing personality"

When I was 8, while waiting for our buko juice at the jeep terminal. I asked my Mom one time about what it means. I was just learning how to read that time. I enjoy practicing and reading each sign I see everywhere. My Mom was the proudest because she will caught me speaking and reading as she drives.

I can still remember, the sign was on white font on a red board of a (job) wanted sign. When my Mom explained it to me I have understood that a person should have a good understanding heart, and a good attitude in dealing with people. That is the desirable personality that they are looking for. It remained true to me. Until I really got curious if anybody wonder or ask what does it really mean as I enter college. Because it seems that the English as a second language speaker in my hometown does not translate "personality" with the same meaning my Mom taught me when I was younger.

My awareness of the career to take must be a security of my future.

Your skin-color, your looks, your ability to speak English, your education, your power were ingredients you need to have. If you can have it all on the same time. Malakas ang baraha mo of gettung hired. You need to have "good looks" to be desirable and most of all this good looks is mostly founded in who is the lighter skin? The lighter, the better. What is important for us to ask is how far we will let this happen? Until when we will allow this notion on "lighter, the better" box our wonderful future and the beauty we keep on ourselves? Do we just keep the discrimination happen or we will say it's time to end it and we're in it to end.

When one stand for another, the other can have courage to keep going.

Today, may you embrace yourself with your own beauty. May your dreams and potentials carry you above and beyond!

Always remember that itim man o puti ang kulay natin. H'wag naging kakalimutang maging tao at maging kapwa para sa iba.

May you receive your freedom today and may you celebrate your color with happiness on your face and an overwhelming pride for being perfectly made by God for who you are.

Cheers and Cheers!

Always,

TheMsgDiaries 💕

proofreading needed.