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#this one needs to be institutionalized
bonkbobl · 17 days
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the way i keep watching the same two tiktok edits of roose with the arctic monkeys in the back ground LMAOOOOO im unwell
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mythalism · 9 days
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trick weekes framing of the solavellan break up as such a tragic, terrible ultimatum - "he has to break it off right there or he will have betrayed himself". oh im sick to my stomach. the great betrayer, He Who Hunts Alone, Pride, just moments away from betraying himself by trusting the woman he loves. and he can't do it. Pride, who earned his infamy by betraying those he loves but cannot betray himself. i need to go lay down
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hold-him-down · 2 months
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Belleview Chapter Two (Part D): Day One
Notes: This is the final part of chapter 2. Now, pretend all 4 of those parts were posted in one thing because that is really how it was meant to be but things got away from me :)
Belleview: Chapter 1, Chapter 2 (Part A), Chapter 2 (Part B), Chapter 2 (Part C)
TW: Institutionalized slavery, Med Whump, Dubcon Medical Care, References to Human Experimentation
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Day one, Lincoln thinks, goes by in a sort of semi-organized frenzy that makes up for a lack of rhythm with the undiluted tenacity of every person who has been assigned to this site. It is a flurry of organizing volunteers, scheduling with local hospitals, reviewing the notes of the medical team and pausing, occasionally, to ask how his two patients are faring. River remains isolated, but no one pushes him, and Felix remains alive and that, for what it’s worth, counts as a win.
Beds are built inside of the tiny rooms with impressive efficiency, while volunteers sort through the floods of donations, things from clothing to food to entertainment. At some point, an entire truck full of televisions, courtesy of the mayor, pulls up, and at another, a florist brings a van-full of indoor plants to help make the place feel more ‘homey.’ Three restaurants deliver catered lunch, and seven bring dinner. The residents, by and large, refuse the food, and it is not until the prepackaged meaty substance that has been their daily meal for their entire time at the site is found, heated, and delivered, that most of them eat anything at all.
The phone rings non-stop with offers for food or ‘any other support needed’ over the next week. News vans come and go, with volunteers offering cursory updates on where things stand at Belleview, but never on the residents themselves. Their identities are protected, and no one seems to mind regardless. 
The community, much to Lincoln’s surprise, rallies behind the residents, and he is left to admit, reluctantly, that even here, in this somewhat small community in southern Florida, where so many vocal supporters of the system fought tooth and nail to keep contracted labor intact, there are countless pockets of good. He doesn’t have the time to rearrange his opinion on the town, but he recognizes the necessity to reassess where he stands.
For now, he throws all of his energy toward the task at hand.
Three of the residents, Felix, Gabriel, and Ari, require hospital visits for diagnostics. Lincoln makes a note to check on them before leaving for the night. Seven more have been hooked up to IV fluids and are being monitored while they sleep, but will be treated at the site once the med rooms are set up. Three (River, chiefly among them) refused any care, and seven allowed themselves to be examined without fighting. Notably, the team suspects that many did not understand, or believe, that things have changed, and so the pretenses under which they cooperated were dubious at best.
It’s eight o’clock, and with one full twelve-hour shift under his belt, Lincoln accepts that it’s nearly time to call it a day. The first group of volunteers has begun packing up and leaving for the evening, with the new group filing in and orienting themselves to their tasks. Lincoln sits in the empty office, twenty-one folders strewn haphazardly across the large metal desk. 
He reaches for the newest folder, marked ‘Felix,’ and opens it. He reads through the notes– his notes– and stands, placing the lone file into his bag. He picks up his keys, and he turns off the light to the office, and he starts making his way through the bowels of the building that, just yesterday, housed horrors that he has not yet begun to wrap his head around.
Lincoln passes several volunteers setting up a common area out of what was once a waiting room, which includes putting together sofas, hooking up the donated TVs, stocking shelves full of books, and hanging art. There are half-broken down boxes strewn everywhere. He greets the volunteers with an exhausted smile and half-wave as he passes. Once he reaches the tip of the main corridor, he pauses. It’s quiet now, with an almost eerie quality to it. A couple of the fluorescents are dull, with one outright flickering. It gives the wing a sort of post-apocalyptic ambiance befitting its history. If not for the doors, each cracked open in a bid to encourage the residents to explore their temporary home, it would look exactly the same as it had this morning, save for one of the plants that made its way to a corner.
“How did it go today?” Dr. Anthony Schiller, the assistant director of the site, who will oversee it during the overnight shifts, asks as he pulls up beside him. 
“It could have gone worse,” Lincoln responds. They are silent for seconds, maybe minutes, staring down the long hallway. And then, “I’m worried about them,” Lincoln says softly. At the doctor’s expectant look, he continues, “About where things go from here.”
Schiller nods in agreement, and Lincoln hands him the key to the office with a half-hearted smile that is meant to be encouraging, but might read closer to reluctant. 
“Files are on the desk, notes are in the files,” Lincoln says. He gives a rundown of where they’re at, what they’ve done, who to keep an eye on overnight.
Once Anthony has retreated, Lincoln makes his way through the corridor toward the exit. He listens for any signs of distress as he does. In one room, the light from the TV flashes through the crack in the door. From another, he can hear crying. He pauses, knocking on the door. “Do you need anything?” he asks, and the boy’s– Ethan’s– eyes snap up to meet his.
“I’m sorry,” Ethan whispers. 
“It’s okay,” Lincoln replies. He takes a step into the room, where there is a barely-eaten dinner and an untouched pile of blankets. “I’m sure this is overwhelming,” he says. He picks up the top blanket and unfolds it, then sets it on the untouched bed. “Have you had a chance to eat?” he asks. 
Ethan nods, visibly holding back as much emotion as he can. 
“Okay,” Lincoln replies. He sits at the edge of the bed, and pats the space next to him. “Will you come sit with me for a minute?” he asks then. Ethan, predictably, does as he is asked, and Lincoln hands him the blanket. “I’m going to head out for the night,” Lincoln explains. “Is there anything you want me to grab you for tomorrow?”
Ethan shakes his head quickly. “Okay,” Lincoln replies. “Try to get some sleep. If you’d like to turn on the TV, you can. Anything you need, please let the volunteers know, okay? I know this is confusing,” he continues, “but things will get easier.” 
Ethan smiles, his eyes downcast, and Lincoln squeezes his hand. “I’ll see you in the morning?” 
As he continues down the hall, he wonders, idly, how many of these beds will be untouched tonight. How many of these men will go hungry tonight. How many will sleep at all. River's room is quiet and dark, and Lincoln resists the urge to check in on him. He is okay. He refused lunch and dinner, but has a bed, has clothes, and has access to food and water. No progress has been made throughout the day, but, Lincoln hopes, they will try again tomorrow.
He reluctantly continues walking.
He pauses, finally, at Felix’s door. As one of the three critical patients, the volunteers have been on top of him all day, reporting back at least hourly on his status. With the medicine and with the fluids and with the constant care, he’s been stable, which is something.
Lincoln pushes the door open as quietly as he can, and buried under a weighted blanket, curled up on his side, lies Felix. An oxygen mask covers his mouth and nose, and, under the covers, Lincoln knows a slew of monitors cover his body, feeding them data on his condition. After a thorough review of that data, Lincoln turns his attention back to Felix.
Even in the darkness, it is obvious that he has been bathed, he has been given clothes, and his wounds have been tended. He looks… peaceful, Lincoln thinks. He looks comfortable. 
As he takes a step back toward the hall, Felix’s eyes crack open, instantly seeking him out. His fingers lift, just slightly, in something that vaguely resembles a wave, and Lincoln makes his way to his bedside.
He kneels next to him, squeezing his fingers gently. 
“Hey,” he whispers. With his free hand, Lincoln brushes the hair off of Felix’s forehead, then runs his fingers across the bruising on his neck. “I was just on my way out,” he continues, “I wanted to check and make sure you have everything you need?” 
Felix doesn’t respond, but he keeps his eyes on Lincoln. Lincoln smiles and stands, with a soft, “I’ll see you in the morning,” as he moves away from Felix’s bed.
The panicked look, the same from earlier, ghosts across Felix’s features, and he reaches for the mask. It doesn’t take more than a split second for Lincoln’s mind to be made up. At home, his boyfriend will struggle to understand what happened here today. He’ll be chastised for taking his work too seriously, for not setting boundaries, for giving too much of himself to his job.
But, he thinks, as he pulls out his phone to send the text message: I’m going to stay here for the night. I’ll check in in the morning. Will explain tomorrow, he knows it’s right. By the time he drags the small armchair over to Felix’s bed and settles into it, Felix’s body has lost the fight for consciousness. Still, when Lincoln puts his hand on top of Felix’s, and the tension in his shoulders immediately lifts, Lincoln knows that this is where he’s meant to be.
Belleview Taglist:
@pigeonwhumps @peachy-panic @whump-cravings @pirefyrelight @i-eat-worlds
@taterswhump @squishablesunbeam @inpainandsuffering @distinctlywhumpthing @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi
@handsinmotion @whumps-and-bumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @alexmundaythrufriday @itsawhumpsideblog
@hellodecisionparalysis
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faithinlouisfuture · 2 months
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icannotgetoverbirds · 4 months
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I am no longer consumed by bloodlust!
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autumnhobbit · 7 days
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if there’s one thing i gotta credit republicans on it’s the ability to completely miss the point.
i thought our economy was in shambles and nobody can afford a house or food etc etc? we have to elect trump because the haitians are eating our cats now? what does that have to do with anything? how’s he going to prevent it? it’s already animal cruelty and would probably be considered poaching in most towns, also causing a public disturbance?
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cursedcrone · 5 months
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there's nothing I wouldn't do for you
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p4nishers · 1 year
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are you normal or can you recite the entirety of good omens s2 ep1 (yes that specific ep) with sound effects and exact faces because you've started over so many times and you never finish it bc im obviously the first one i don't even– excuse me oooiiii yes was that you oh err hi yeah if you don't mind could you hold this while i crank it all up um which way up does it go well like that just hold it tight there you go–
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whiskeyswifty · 1 year
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Taybe would cause such emotional devastation when they break up and each release an album afterwards (but the songs while they are together would also be so good) #taybe4life
Absolutely like 50% of the appeal of Taybe is the music!!! The songs about each other falling love…. The way they’d slowly influence each other’s sounds in small but noticeable ways (slight quick tempo lilts like Kyoto more prevalent in phoebes music and rubber bridges all over Taylor’s songs hellooo)… a LPSS of a a joint EP they’d make for fun one winter…. The DUETS!!!! And then so true like the breakup albums would be….. my GODDDDDDD I can’t even imagine. Gut wrenching, as not only a wlw breakup which is always emotionally nuclear but on top of that their personal brands of angst through which they would process it. So powerful, TOO powerful you might say. That’s why we’re not allowed to have them. The psychic damage it would cause every wlw within a 2000 mile radius?? Catastrophic.
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local-limebug · 8 months
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what the fuck is up with the rise in trans hate how are people this sensitive about what someone else wants to do with their own body
#limebug.txt#literally its my life and i can live it however i want#and if the people around me try to stop me i WILL cut them off idc who they are i'm sorry#just fucking. let people live. god#if i let my hate win the way bigots let theirs win i'd be fucking lynched by religious mobs#insult my identity and i have to deal with it cause its your freedom of speech but i insult yours and i'm gonna go to a fake bad place??#god i hate religious people sometimes#so many transphobes either call it a mental illness or hate it because god said so and both of those are such STUPID takes#religion. well thats self explanatory#but mental illness??#that tells me everything i need to know about what they think of actual mentally ill people too#you wanna stop ppl from transitioning because its mental illness?? gonna take away bodily autonomy from other mentally ill ppl too now??#and ik they do with institutionalization and shit but that's such bs too#people deserve help but they only need to be locked up if they are hurting someone else#that's my controversial opinion for the day: people who only harm themselves dont deserve to have their autonomy taken away#even if they are hurting themselves. you can try to help but if someone doesnt want help then leave them tf alone#and what really differentiaties piercings and tattoos from 'self mutilation' anyway#'god made you one way you cant change' fucking cry about it. humans have made the technology and i am going to utilize it#i will desecrate the face of god without hesitation.#i will mutilate myself gladly. i should have the legally protected right to mutilate myself because it falls under bodily autonomy.#transphobes are not the brightest
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specters · 7 months
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some people are so hateful towards people with eating disorders on here like i do not want to speak about it much but i've fallen back into mine recently and i 100% understand running into people's ed blogs is triggering and awful and those blogs are essentially just blogs where sick people talk about how they're slowly killing themselves but it's like... do you think calling them ugly bitches who need to eat is helpful? their illness does not absolve them from the harm they cause to others especially if they are altogether pro-ed for others & use their disorder to be so completely hateful towards fat people, but all people deserve a space to talk about what they are going through. maybe not in a space that fuels it so heavily, but a space where people understand and aren't going to demonize them for...... literally dying.
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thedevilsrain · 10 months
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the brazilian left really has a custom of saying a given right wing figure needs to be in a mental hospital or that they 'ran out of a hospital' and i fucking hate it lol
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sidhedust · 1 year
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As it turns out, I do draw more than I think, but it's always small doodles between the big stuff. I decided to post these just to not lose them after the semester is over-I drew them on my history notes, and I reuse to crack open my notebook once I reach the end of December.
These folks don't appear until the first "real" arc of the story, but I can't help but doodle them even as I work on the prologue they don't appear in.
There are two new guys here (top left and on the left on the bottom pic), and I would post more art of them, but I'm currently redesigning them to add more animal motifs, making old art of them outdated LOL.
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On the one hand I haven't eaten anything today and that's definitely a failure by rehab standards, on the other hand I ate an entire 2000 calories yesterday and if I eat anything right now I think I might throw up. So.
I guess it is what it is. I just want to be a normal person who eats normal amounts of food. Why is that so damn hard?
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oglegoggle · 2 years
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It bothers me when folks insist that there are literally no good reasons to surrender pets because it destroys their hearts. Like…. My dude…. That evil fuckin cat that slashed my literal eyeball should be surrendered. I found new homes for my three cats because I couldn’t take having multiple panic attacks triggered every single fucking day because they’ve got claws and I’ve got a new dose of fresh PTSD caused by that demon slashing my eye. I still can’t sleep well because of the nightmares about it. The pain and the blood and the temp blindness in that eye and the extreme fear. It’s been months. My life was fucking destroyed and my love of cats ripped from my soul. But I’m the villain? No. Needs drastically change sometimes and it sucks for everyone involved. It wasn’t good for me having cats around. It wasn’t good for my cats to have their only human destabilized and constantly rejecting their affection. They’ve got a new home where all three miraculously got to stay together and are dearly loved again as they deserve to be.
#this is goggles#he didn’t want to surrender her because nobody will adopt a black cat with hardcore behavioral issues that put someone in the ER#and she would likely be put down#yanno the way humans have been dealing with and selectively breeding their domestic animals for literal millennia#but he’s an asshole with behavioral issues himself and doesn’t give a flying fuck about others#lmfao one of his friends told me they think he should honestly be institutionalized for his myriad of out of control behavioral issues#he needs a parent more than a partner but he still continues to date and expect those he dates to baby him#but then is upset when people don’t want to deal with him because he acts like a literal spoiled child#his friends are growing fed up with his shit after seeing how he treated me and that’s so fucking funny to me#good honestly I hope he drives off everyone around him and is left with just himself#in his nasty piss and shit filled dirty laundry nest he calls a home#he reminds me so much of a guy I used to play D&D with who did the exact same shit and was mooching off his dad well into his 60s#and would throw pissbaby fits whenever he wasn’t the center of attention or if anyone told him off for acting like a child#still complains about how awful his two years of marriage 30 years prior were because his ex-wife would constantly nag him to clean up#I was so patient with my ex because I saw a lot of the ways my own behavior was influenced by AuDHD and fucked up and I actually fixed them#I fixed those flaws and now I live in a BH&G levels of clean home I’m on track for a good career#my life transformed while I was with him but his did not and now that I ain’t dealing with him the boons of my work are clear as day#and he’s mad he’s in his parents basement working his $12/hr weed job and getting nagged for being irresponsible and filthy#lmfao moron
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orcelito · 2 years
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From a scale of 1 to "ritzy orphanage", what level of bullshit have you read today?
#speculation nation#saw in main tag an akechi take that was So fucking foul lmao#someone mad about how fandom largely likes to make goro and futaba friends bc they dont think she should have to forgive him#which like. fair. i can understand being put off by that.#but THEN. they start going off on how we dont see akechi's childhood so all we know it wasnt that bad#vs futaba's that we Did see how bad it was#& how ppl largely make it a thing with her forgiving him due to sympathy & his trauma getting more attention than hers#which i would agree with if it were just a matter of ppl belittling futaba's trauma in comparison to akechi's#but you DONT. HAVE TO SAY. HIS WASNT TRAUMATIC FOR THAT TO BE TRUE.#his mom literally KILLED HERSELF bc of shido. goro's anger at him is far more than 'daddy didnt pay enough attention to me 😢😢😢'#(direct quote there. them belittling his anger down to daddy issues. ugh.)#but the RICHEST thing is them saying that for all we know shido paid for akechi to live at a 'ritzy orphanage' like WHAT????#say you know nothing about the japanese alternative child care system without saying you know nothing about it#listen ive been researching this shit a lot lately. japan has one of the Worst child care systems in the world.#11% foster home rate. majority of children shunted into institutions that are overcrowded and underfunded.#and get the word i used. institution. not orphanage. everything ive read about it calls these places institutions.#they literally institutionalize children. and that in and of itself is a trauma. not having adults you can learn to actually depend on#bc that is their Job. they cycle out. majority of them do care but they just cant give the child the attention they need#and fucking. 'ritzy orphanage' literally WHAT??? in what fucking world would RITZY ORPHANAGE be something that exists???#paradoxical phrase. if a child has a parent to pay for them theyre not going to live in a fucking orphanage. what the Hell are you on#there was more to it but i honestly stopped reading i was so angry.#you dont need to belittle his trauma to say that futaba's matters. what the fuck.#and YES his revenge plot against shido is childish and poorly thought out. but thats bc he made this when he was Literally a child.#it's not just him throwing his life away on a whim bc of 'daddy issues'. what the Fuck.#anyways this person made me so mad i blocked them#for someone who claimed to love akechi u made the WORST fucking take ive seen on him in a while#absolutely fuming. 'ritzy orphanage.' thats some real bullshit#suicide ment/#also THIS ISNT EVEN TOUCHING on the problems within the institutions#ive run out of tags so i cant go into it. im just so fuckin pissed off lmao
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