#this one line has made me insane
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But like fr, why he say that? Sir, what are we?
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I’m going insane rn
Doing one of my never-ending rereads and... even when Neil hated Andrew and fully believed all the worst rumors, he still expected someone to be in Andrew’s corner... and then in book three we see him decide to be that person:
something about the way Neil, a perfect stranger to the concepts of friendship and teamwork, still expected better from Andrew’s team and family... I know that’s the entire core of their relationship but it still knocks a hole in my chest to see it laid out so baldly
#the continuity of these fucking books fucking astounds me sometimes#a throwaway line on page 42 of book one being referenced explicitly on page 170 of book three#say what you want about Nora that is still absolutely insane#edit: because i accidentally posted this to my main blog#this is a 978 page self-published book series about a made up sport and the mafia#It has no business having some of the best fucking continuity I've ever read outside of agatha christie or tolkien okay?
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it probably wasn't the smartest decision to start an ongoing 1000+ chapter webnovel when i know it'll consume my every waking thought but here we are
open for better quality | no reposts
#turning novel#터닝#kishiar la orr#yuder aile#when i tell you i read the manhwa in one go last night and then started reading the novel today bc commenters said it was good#and my god were they right#i'm 40+ chapters in so i've just passed where the manhwa is at rn and wow#first of all thank god there are high quality and easily accessible translations#second of all kuyu-nim has a way of making all the lines carry weight. the dialogue and body language cues especially#like i'm definitely not that far in but there are already a few lines i can point out that made my heart clench#and the tension between the two leads is so so palpable#kishiar is very enigmatic i'm very interested in finding out what he's really thinking and what his abilities are#and i really appreciate the way yuder's development is focused on him caring about others and relying on them#ok and third the fact that it's a slow burn romance but focuses heavily on the plot and politics and relationships is so good#based on the tags this could have been very tropey but they didn't go that route and i'm glad for it#in other news i'm upset about how yuder came out but i have to post him bc i will not separate them ;;;#thought kishiar would be harder to draw bc he's pretty:tm: and i struggle drawing pretty boys but yuder put me through the wringer fr#anyway!! i love them very much!! going a little insane over them as you can see!!
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started playing pillars of eternity the other day.. (shoving my 40 hours of playtime under the rug) its cool i guess.
#pillars of eternity#death godlike#dymphna#really shoddily cropped outfit lineup cause i dont want tumblr sniping me for well errrrrm. uhhhhhh emmmm.... yknow nuddy#i made dymphna in game and barely 2 days later i had a fully lined and coloured line up of her thats the fastest ive ever made one#she has the worlds. most disgusting grasp on my brain its insane how attached i am to her alreadyy. i even made her a custom portrait....#anyways josh sawyer count your fucking days for not making hiravias or eder romancable im going to get you.#i dont want aloth thats her chew toy not her boy toy. shes hoisting him on her shoulder and throwing him about#shes 6 foot 3 built like a rectangle and absolutelty trying to convince herself and everyone else that shes the perfect size#to sit in hiravias's lap. (he cant feel his legs anymore)
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there's a quick secondhand account from part 2 of david tennant filmography video essay from OP's boyfriend saying david's performance as macbeth blows his hamlet out of the water and i don't know what kind of drugs his macbeth is on for that to even be possible because how is that possible. How . oh my god?
#chomping on my computer keyboard as we speak can you all release a recording of this thing PLEASE#how the hell does that even happen#if it's not obvious from the way i talk about anything i think his performance as hamlet is a) my favorite of his entire filmography#b) my singular favorite performance of a shakespeare role. and c) in my top 3 performances in a movie/tv show ever#and no i am not exaggerating my brain was specifically structured to be insane in one particular way abt hamlet#and his take on the character pushes all the buttons in that every time i watch another hamlet i have to tell myself not to compare#i have to kill the part of my brain that says 'oh but i liked david's line delivery of this better' SHUT UP OMG YOURE OBSESSED I GET IT#YOUVE WATCHED THIS MOVIE OVER FIVE TIMES AND HAVE MADE IT YOUR PERSONALITY. GET A JOB#anyway OP's boyfriend likely has different taste than me but What did he put into his macbeth for that take to be made in the first place#david tennant
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Can you expand on what you mean by Baron being "too cool" to really fit a horror monster? It's a very interesting concept and I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is it that they're too active/involved/tangible and it detracts from their scariness?
I feel like I should preface this with a wall of disclaimers lmao 1/I am a hardcore, down-to-the-marrow, avid, deeply sincere horror enthusiast, esp. horror creatures. this usually means my mileage is vastly different from the average populace's, and my scaredy bone has been disintegrated by longterm exposure. most things in a piece of horror media won't scare me! so I practically never use that on its own as the scale to talk abt horror experiences, but when something does scare me it's always a special occasion to be treasured. 2/canon d20 is never really meant to be horror horror, and for good reasons: it doesn't fit the company's output, it takes a kind of carelessness in production estimation that is always a huge risk, it's often vulnerable in a way that kinda goes against how TTRPGs usually facilitates vulnerability, and for most people it's just! stressful! d20, even with the "horror-themed" seasons, generally just plays with horror tropes and stays focused in its goal of being a comedy improv tabletop theater show. 3/fantasy high's chosen system is DnD, which as I've mentioned before is before all a combat-based game system, which means the magic circle of play is drawn based on stats that facilitate and prioritize combat. want or not this affects every interaction you have in the game, and given fantasy high's concept from the ground up (everyone's going to school of DnD stuff to get better at DnD) it's doubly relevant. 4/This Is Fine I have no quarrel with this. my meters are internal, I do not ask this show to be anything it doesn't advertise itself to be, and what it is is fucking great! I like it! when I expand on this ask's question it will be like a physicist going insane in a lab. that's the mindset we're going in with.
disclaimers done. my stance on horror as a genre is that it's a utility genre rather than a content genre or a demographic genre; it is the discard of narratives. it's the trash pile. horror, above being scary, is about being ugly and messy, it's the cracks on the ground any story inevitably steps over to stay a genre that isn't horror. the genre's been around long enough to develop a codex and a general language that medias and makers and enthusiasts of the genre can use to talk about and build onto, but if you go into individual pieces there's really no unifying Horror Story. one person's beautiful life can be another's horror story, it's just how it is.
this makes The Monster a deeply intriguing piece of the genre. thing is a monster is in a decent percentage of any story - it's just when the antagonist force steps into something past a certain line traced out in the story's world. monstrousness is in pretty much every western fantasy story, it's in any story with a hero and something to vanquish or win; more than anything it's a proxy of that thing up there. the line in a narrative's world. the monster is the guard of the unknown lands, where heroic, civilized people don't tread.
what does this mean in the context of horror? the genre is about that perceived lawlessness, that "unknown land" so to say. we're in the monster's home. that's the literary context that we often walk into a horror piece with; the monster knows more than you about where you are. it may not understand you, but it holds more information than you, and with that it moves swifter than you, has more covered than you, and is more assured in its existence in this context than you. it's a struggle to catch up to it, it's nigh impossible to get one over it, and you're never sure it'll 100% work, because you just don't have the information necessary to.
with that framing you can kinda see where I'm coming from here: horror's often about the breaking of rules. I always think a monster's most effective when it breaks well-established rules of both existence and visual storytelling. think Possum (2018) or Undertale's Omega Flowey or the Xenomorph Queen - unique change in medium, unique change in graphic, unique change in design language, etc. in that sense I actually really like how canon baron plays out: they don't really function like anything else in the fantasy high universe, the bad kids have not managed to kill them when they've felled literal gods, their domain in fhjy literally introduces new mechanics to encompass their existence! from an experience design standpoint they slap mad shit. BUT! I can't help finding their character, like as a character riz (and the other bad kids, eventually) interact with, to be very... coherent? in design. this is kinda hard for me to articulate in words, it's more often a sense you get once you've looked at enough of these scrumptious fuckers, their general design and the way they show up is just kinda too clean, so to say. always kinda newly made? fresh unboxed. it, once again, makes sense for their lore - they are looking for more about themself from riz - and their function - they're an antagonist in a game experience, they're meant to be interacted with in a way that produces results and meshes with the existing magic circle - but that shininess takes away from the implied history they should have dominion over and the person they're haunting doesn't.
from another angle there is kinda something there about how put-together canon baron is as a concept; the domain they call home is riz's deep-seeded fears, extremely vulnerable things he's drawn borders around to quarantine and refused to walk into. things that from his perspective would irreversibly shatter certain pleasant fictions his world is built on top of. canon baron, While Extremely Cool, I feel is kinda too neat to connect with and signify the apocalyticized mess that'd result from this paradigm shift. the part where they're in riz's briefcase and looking through every mirror is Very Cool And Fucked Up! but ultimately the show draws a line around them as well, by making game-physical, tangible spaces they're in (the mirrors and the haunted mordred manor) and put riz and the bad kids there only when they need to confront stuff. riz is meaningfully narratively away from baron's unknown land for most of fantasy high.
with that and all of my disclaimers in mind my conclusion here is if canon baron wants to be a Horror Monster they'd have to cross way more lines. be a Lot more invasive. hence (holds up my class swap baron like a long cat)
#ask#not art#tldr a lot of fantasy high's and d20's nature plays against having a Horror horror piece in it. there's no space for emptiness or dread#that's one of the most attractive things to me about horror. the monster signifying a new world you don't understand#you see something on the deserted streets and you realize: oh. the world doesn't work how I've been thinking it does#if u've noticed how much this has in common with queer experiences haha. yeag#man. actually I should also put the I Am Not White disclaimer in there too lmao a lot of the notion of The Monstrous is! traditionally#about maintaining and upkeeping a ''social order'' (read: the powers that be)#and a Lot of Wilderness Fiction is deeply and maliciously colonialist#so when I say ''the unknown land'' and ''the monster'' I am pretty much speaking From one of those unknown lands#and from the position of one of those monsters#the fear of the monstrous is so very often the fear of being consumed by - or becoming - the monstrous yourself#and well. when you're already there in the eye of the zeitgeist. You Can Do What You Want Forever#all that to say it Is important to me that baron is made of riz's lies. even more so in this funny class swap thing I make for fun#like as a horror protag he makes me insane. he loves lines! he loves lines he drew himself. he replicates these borders in himself#that mirror the world he lives in that's so hostile to him. that kid Loves rules. he bows to even the ones that hurt him#like. u get where I'm getting to right I did make a whole comic kinda near this subject he's Already The Other#baron is a monster's monster. baron is a mirror image. GODs I cant help but wish they were messier#it's kinda why I make class swap baron to be like. an ever nearing realization. like I warble abt all this but I genuinely do also find#canon baron to be just as visually coherent and thematically perfect as riz if not more. it's hard to beat how cool the mirror stuff is#it's hard to beat that doll face in iconic visuals! I have to strike according to my strength rather than trying to beat canon#so instead of reflection it's captured moments. instead of a blank face it's the lack of one. mmm. maybe I'm just kinda breaking things#for fun also but that's My prerogative in my house awooga <3#well. thats kinda my thoughts on the general subject. thank u for listening. I will bake something soon dyou want some
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Milgrammies! The ever dreaded (at least by me and Haruka-fan friends) birthday tl is in less than 48 hours, Haruka's birthday tl. So
Expand on what you predict may happen in the tags if you want, I'd love to hear your thoughts. I put mine in the tags of the original post but in short, I think he'll talk/be talked to by Mikoto :3c
#personally i have a feeling haruka might talk to mikoto#in the past collabs n stuff haruka is getting paired up with mikoto a LOT at least 2 me#liiike in the aviot collab... he had a line praising mikoto#theyre placed next to each other on the art too#you get me? so i feel like the story might be going somewhere with their dynamic#in which case *CHEERS IN 0109 SIBLINGS ENJOYER*#as for WHAT will happen... i feel like itll be mikoto walking in on harukas attempt#bc haruka was the only one who went out of his way to check on mkt after his guilty verdict even tho everyone was scared of “him”#(john but they dont know that)#so i feel like now that mkt is inno and relatively less stressed he might want to check on haruka#and then he finds him dying oopsie...!!!#but yeag#what do u guys think? tell me tell me tell me#if a poll like this was already made#pls let me know and ill delete this post!!!#milgram#haruka sakurai#sakurai haruka#tw suicide#“what he would not talk to mkt jay qhat r u talking about” i am biased as the no.1 0109 siblings enjoyer and insane dont mind me#also omfg i can t believe i forgot to mention this earlier iin the tags but. minigram foreshadows some stuff (e.g sys amane) so#haruka has been interacting with shidou and 09 a lot lately in minigrams... so...#im just starving for 0109 siblings content ik lol but but guys see my vision
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whshdfhfjf.,,,
#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur#look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly#because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..'#anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to#ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts#anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately#a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle#lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix#fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll.#and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material#mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent#a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...)#i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort#and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one#here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try#like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!!#the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still#they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1#of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but#thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where#you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the#competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even#even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!!#the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's#'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h#her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll#eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do'#they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's#it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe#adamandi
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*****JJK Spoilers*****
There’s something to be said about the fact that since the first chapter we met him Yuuji has been preparing to die. It has been this huge terrifying thing looming over his head, every new friend a person he will have to leave behind. And he takes it on as bravely as he can. We watched him grapple with the fact that his death will be just another cog in the machine and he had to except that and he said you know what then I’m gonna be the smoothest running cog you ever did see.. itadori Yuuji doesn’t want too but he was ready to die, he DID die twice!. And then Sukuna leaves and the higher ups are dead. He is suddenly thrust into a world where he’s not next in line at the execution block. Suddenly Yuuji has a future and that’s not something he prepared for, especially not the one he’s left with. a dead mentor with no body to mourn, one best friend dead, the other halfway there and a Sensei he believes with every fiber of his being is the strongest just lost to his number 1 tormentor. The dude his death was supposed to protect the world from. This is Yuuji’s worst nightmare come to life because all this time he has been preparing to leave his friends behind for them to mourn himnot once did it cross his mind that he’d be the one left behind, that he’d be the one to mourn them. Itadori Yuuji was prepared to die and and it was okay because he was doing something good, something that could protect the world and now, in his mind, he failed cause sukuna is loose again and gojo is dead, nobara is dead, nanami is dead, megumi is possessed and halfway there and he wasn’t prepared to grieve. He’s been thrown into a world where his life doesn’t have an expiration date and all his friends are dead and there’s nothing left but a promise he can no longer keep to his grandfather.
And It drives me literally insane.
#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk gojo#jjk itadori#nobara kugisaki#And he’s so like every shonen male lead in character but his arc is like nothing I’ve ever seen#there is also something to be said about Megumi the one that was most ardently opposed to the thought off yuuji dying#being the one that sukuna forced himself upon and lined up on the executioner block#because of a power taht has once again made him the target of old powerful perverts#like this drives me insane#the symbolism#I have so much to say about the trio and their sensei like don’t even get me started on nobara and how she’s most like gojo#because we will be here forever.#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu megumi#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu sorcerer#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#nobara kugasaki#gojo saturo#sukuna#my thougths#throwing thoughts to the void#jujitsu kaisen
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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me when im trying not to go insane when pitaya is on screen but they pull out the thrones voice line
#THAT LINE MADE ME GO INSANE#thronessss they are meant to be wrestle—“ KISS ME PLZZZZ#IM LIKE GIGGLING HELP ME#inspired off of the time I was on Pinterest and i was going back but one of the videos id watched was of that voice line and i rolled aroun#miitaya#uhm. this is like the cringiest ive been#if the girls from school found this acc i think id die#do u ever wonder ab that. if someone from school or something will find this#i guess im just worried bc one ex friend girl has dirt on me (that i selfship) and her best friend sits next to me in english#but i guess she doesn’t know what she’s missing sigh… she was born to be a pavitr atsv selfshipper#BC I GOT HER INTO IT FOR A GOOD WHILE but i think she abandoned it when she stopped being friends with me#self shipping#selfship#self ship community#selfshipper#self insert#self insert x canon#self shipper#romantic fictional other#selfship meme#selfshipping#selfshipping community#self ship positivity#self ship
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it’s been bothering me since this morning but how are they gonna do the whole “you shall fail to save what matters most in the end” part of the prophecy if percy has four pearls to start with
#like is he gonna lose one??? bc that line means he has to leave sally behind when leaving the underworld to confront ares#also the whole him having to leave sally behind is super important because of how it shows that hades isnt evil like theyve been made to#believe. he took sally bc he thought percy stole his helm. when he found out he didnt he released her once percy return to helm to him#so like. ???)#&:!.$.?&.!.&: HOW ARE THEY GONNA DO THAT#its driving me crazy bc if they villainize hades in any way its gonna piss me off bc ricks interpretation and how he wrote him is why#i love hades so much bc rick made a point to show hes not a bad guy or evil#so like. what is that part of the prophecy gonna mean if its not that. its driving me insane bc u cannot make that big of a chance#*change#so i’m thinking he loses one or it gets destroyed or SOMETHING idk. ill be pissed if they make hades the bad guy is basically the gist of it#r.txt
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jay is my ultimate bias and seungeon + jongwoo are in my top 9..... but the Zoom stage outsold every other this episode, including Love Killa. that performance was INSANE
#haruto keita wumuti miss even once challenge (impossible)#ollie was so charming too with his dorky rap dhjk i love him#hyunbeen sure was. there#no hate to him whatsoever he's a good performer surrounded by great performers. his 'oh geez' was pretty fun though#boys planet#i went insane over jay's you're my home baby line its true. something shifted#the way they wanted me to think that ONE slightly cracked note was the worst thing the world has ever heard... stfu mnet i'll kill you#seungeon you did amazingly sweetie#and JONGWOO!!!#i've had my eye on him since backdoor but he was incredible in this episode#so talented and so accommodating of his teammates. he shines most in dance but he made the choreo simpler to help his struggling teammates#so glad he's getting a surge in popularity now i cant believe we almost lost him to elims
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filing these under “lines that make xarrai feel extremely normal” as well.
#this whole conversation is a lot for them. LMAO.#i have actually fully rewritten this one as a dialogue study too bc it’s like. a very important moment for them but#idk man. i wish u could argue with him more in game LOL#this convo makes me and xarrai both batshit insane tho LOL#the inbuilt banite ambition they run from but cannot shake (let him take this power and then take it from him)#vs the love for him they refuse to admit is love (this will ruin him)#they don’t WANT this power and they don’t want him to have it but they can’t shake the part of them that plots out how to get it.#but they have to be better than what made them or none of it was worth it etc etc etc i am rambling. anyway. bye#oc. xarrai#r. hold me like a knife#(for durge!xar they r much more like ‘idk if this is a good idea but i will maybe help u??’)#(canon!xar is (after they get over their knee jerk reaction of Oooh I Want It) is very directly to his face like ‘this is an awful idea.’)#realized these tags r not even about the lines in the screenshots. lol.#the whole ‘what cazador did was only wrong because it happened to *me*’ cuts them like a fucking knife tho LOL#it’s such a flagrant rejection of everything xarrai has said to him by this point. and he doesn’t even recognize it as one LOL#but xar hears that as ‘every bit of genuine emotion you’ve shown me and the trust u put in me with ur past meant nothing :) sowwie’#‘it was only bad bc it happened to me and that means it’s not bad when ppl like cazador do things to ppl like u either :)’#and they Know that’s not what he means. but instead of communicating like an adult they just seethe abt it LOL#okay sorry now i’m done.#lord only knows why i exclusively drop lore in the tags.
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idk why but in the few times i’ve opened twitter recently i see sparklecare fans and dave and bambi fans shitting on each other 😭 is that a common thing or am i just getting unlucky seeing the few bad apples quarrel over and over again
#my ass in both fandoms is a little sad#i think one of the dave and bambi contributors was making fun of sparklecare too#which sucked and like. made me pretty upset reading#like they were making fun of the plot and characters and calling it lame or something don’t quote me on that i don’t remember exactly#but it was something along those lines#and then i saw some post about the dave and bambi cds and tgere were a few sp fans shitting on them#and sometime earlier some sp fan had dnb fans dni in their bio#and some dnb fan had sp fans dni in their bio…#i dunno ist just something i feel like has been popping up recently#vibrantly in insanity
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every day i grow closer and closer to getting a tattoo....
#they are so expensive and i am SO bad at decisions#however i have decided that i Will be getting a trans symbol on my hip#my friend might get stick n poke stuff then he would do it hashtag responsibility or whatever#and then there is this really cool tattoo artist who i would want to tattoo dippy the dinosaur's skull on me somewhere#but money so that will be. further down the line at some point i guess#dippy the dinosaur because if i had to choose something specific that made me who i am today it would genuinely be dippy#also looks cool#but my friend (twin of stick n poke one) has this insane pomegranate with swords on his stomach#and it's like the coolest thing i've ever seen and i do think it would be cool and fun to have a massive tattoo#but i don't think there's anything i could commit to like that every time i get a meal deal i nearly have a breakdown
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