#this one is NOT going in my queer joy collection lol

[arecaceae175]

for the pride month prompts:

trans sky.

he can't breathe? maybe he should take off his binder and stretch? has he got cramps? does he wanna sleep? the chain just supporting him. mentions of t4t groozelink?

twilight cheering him up and showing off top surgery scars???

HI HELLO I WENT BONKERS WITH THIS ONE

Summary: Twilight and Legend notice Sky struggling with his binder, then Sky grapples with jealousy. 2.2k words, angst and hurt/comfort.

I hope this is ok! It's a bit more angsty than I intended, but oh well. I fit quite a few of the prompts in here. And it also got way longer than intended, but that's a good thing lol.

Warnings for lots of dysphoria and discussion of unsafe binding practices.

Excerpt under the cut :D

"Sit," Legend commanded, then plopped onto the ground herself. Twilight followed, concern still clearly displayed on his face. Sky grimaced as he sat, his binder pinching one of the rolls in his skin. He kept his eyes on the trees so he wouldn't have to see the way his body settled. It was always worse sitting. He couldn't easily adjust the tight fabric of his binder underneath his layers of tunics and chainmail, so he wiggled until the pinching stopped.

"Everything okay?" Warriors asked.

"I'll holler if we need anything," Twilight said. Sky appreciated the lack of audience as he sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"Ew," Legend mumbled. She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and threw it at Sky. Sky caught it with a wet laugh and used it to wipe the snot and tears off his face, though they weren't quite finished yet.

His chest ached. Crying always made the pain worse.

"Can you tell us what's going on?" Twilight asked.

Sky turned his head away. There was a bug hopping across the forest floor. He followed it with his eyes as a hand absentmindedly rose to rub his ribs.

"Shit. When was the last time you took off your binder?" Legend asked.

"Oh," Twilight hummed in realization. "I knew you looked out of breath after the battle this morning." 

Sky choked on a sob. He knew he wasn't supposed to wear his bonder during exercise. With the speed Warriors was leading the group with, the hiking itself qualified, and he was already overworked and out of breath after the run-in with monsters. Sky had thought for a long time about whether or not to wear the binder when he got dressed that morning, but one look at his reflection in the clear lake water and his decision was made for him.

"I'm sorry," Sky mumbled. His head dipped forward, chin resting against his chest. He desperately wanted to curl into a ball, but the fabric of his binder was digging into his skin enough just sitting upright.

"Don't apologize," Twilight said softly. "It's okay."

"I don't even know why I'm crying," Sky said through his tears.

"Do you want to change out of your binder for a break?" Twilight asked.

Sky shook his head as another sob broke through. He winced and a hand flew to his ribs. They were already bruised, and the crying hurt.

"Twilight was trying to be nice about it, but you don’t actually have a choice. You need a break." Legend's voice was harsh, but not unkind.

Twilight leaned forward and put his hand right in front of Sky's leg, as close to physical comfort as he could get. "Bodies are bodies, nothing more. Yours has carried you this far, so it deserves a break, yeah?"

Sky sniffed and nodded, reluctantly. He knew he was well over the recommended wearing time, and that was not counting the exertion of the day. Plus, Sky admitted to himself, his binder was really hurting. "Yeah."

[sitp-recs]

top 10 drarry fics by the sheer force of the feels they gave you? not necessarily good feels! things you remember primarily because they hit hard in some way.

obviously, i'd also love to hear exactly how/why they hit hard if you're up for sharing that!

Oh that’s such a wonderful ask, thank you! I’m sorry for the late reply, the 10 fics came easily bc whenever I see those titles I get immediately transported back to where I was and what I felt reading them for the first time. But putting into words what exactly makes them heartkick-y for me was a bit more challengeging. It’s usually a “when you feel it you know it” kind of thing (and quite literally too, as sometimes it manifests as an actual physical reaction!) but more often than not the fic just clicks for me and there’s no rationale behind it. As Clarice Lispector said: “I suppose that understanding myself is not a question of intelligence but of feeling. It either touches you, or it doesn't."

Anyhoo, I tried my best to keep this short and sweet but since I’ve written individual recs for almost all these fics, I thought I’d include them too :) thanks again, this was super fun! And I’d love to read about your picks as well 👀

An Emerald In The Sky by corvuscrowned | my rec

it doesn’t get more romantic than star-crossed lovers doomed by time travel!!!! (see also: my thoughts on The Eighth Tale by lettered). this is my brand of melancholy, something about the constant yearning, the beauty of stolen moments in liminal space, the unfairness of it all… ugh

Far From the Tree by aideomai | my rec

fft has altered my brain chemistry and ruined me forever with its tender devastation, I had such a visceral reaction to it - to the point of feeling dizzy and feverish. a simple time travel concept (this is my kryptonite istg) but the epic storytelling! the gratification! the bittersweet ending! rereading it would kill me but what a way to go

Forgive Those Who Trespass by Lomonaaeren

easily one of the most haunting and terrifying fics I’ve ever read, one jumpscare after the other but so creative and well-written I was too busy collecting my jaw from the floor to talk myself out of it lol

Little Compton Street by writcraft | my rec

as a queer woman, this one feels extremely personal and is very dear to my heart. I’ll never forget the emotions I felt learning about queer history and finding a sense of peace and belonging. lcs feels like coming home 🏳️‍🌈

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton

this was my first bb fic and their sense of humor just blew my mind. I was so impressed by the smooth world building, by their wit and clever political commentary. I just couldn’t stop laughing. the dialogue is so good it makes me wanna weep, I can’t explain how much joy and comfort this fic gave me

Merlin Works in Mysterious Ways by lordhellebore

full disclosure: my reading experience was shaped by the fact that I didn’t realize the tagged disability would be major and permanent 🤡 by the time I noticed I was so emotionally invested I couldn’t stop. one of the most painful reads I’ve ever endured, worth it tho

Running on Air by eleventy7 | my rec

introspective fics are my jam and this one was just what I needed while working through some shit at a turning point in my life. so I guess it was more about finding the right fic at the right time, and I’m hit by mixed feelings of catharsis and nostalgia every time I revisit roa.

Still Life (orphaned) | my rec

my definition of a perfect shortfic. gorgeous prose, flawless execution, the “nothing is happening but everything is changing” vibes I live for, one of the best Harry pov I’ve ever read and an ending that always makes me gasp in awe. few authors can write complex emotions so effortlessly as seefin, absolute masterclass

Super Rich Kids by trishjames | my rec

criminally underrated, this story broke my heart but also gave me such a THRILL. I usually avoid substance abuse in fic but something about Draco’s spiral journey felt so raw it kept me at the edge of my seat. devastating but also a surprisingly funny and exciting thriller. the range!!!

The Long Fall by tackytiger | my rec

as someone who’s never been into kid fic and family dynamics, this was a punch on the solar plexus and rearranged my whole view about this trope. I was deeply moved by Harry’s longing for a family of his own and despite not having or wanting kids, this still felt really cathartic and changed me in a way I can’t quite explain.

[charcubed]

"GAY WEEK" ON DOCTOR ODYSSEY REVIEW: not the episode I expected, but the episode I fucking deserved

A lesser show would use Gay Week to introduce queer content and possibly have it for only one episode as a special. But on this show? It’s always queer and the function of Gay Week is showing and explicitly talking about polyamory the entire time, setting up a polyamory slow burn.

WHO is doing it like them, I ask of you?

I am locked the fuck in for the long haul, baby!!!!! (as if that's news)

YIPPPEEEE

----

okay here I'm (mostly) copying and pasting some of my live tweets to share my immediate thoughts on the ep

-TRISTAN ENJOYING ALL THE ATTENTION FROM GAY MEN…. 👁👁 I love this bisexual

-“Polyamory” / ��Throuple” / “That deep human condition question… Can all of my needs be met by one person?” We are literally watching a show on network television that’s explicitly about slow burn polyamory and I am in complete and utter disbelief. This is the thesis statement. They just went out and said that shit

-No but seriously they managed to have the throuple do an explicit threeway and NOW they're turning it into a slow burn?? WONDERFUL FOR ME PERSONALLY. LET'S GET THIS ANGST

-Max: “I’m a one woman” kind of man Tristan: “Aves… I can’t share you" Avery, lowkey: why are you both so fucking stupid and making this only about me when we have potential here because ALL of us want each other equally, including you two????

-No but this is so realistic I'm foaming at the mouth. OF COURSE they're getting caught up in the M/M part of it!! Of course they are!!! Of course that potentiality has to be drawn out!!! DELIGHTFUL

-TRISTAN’S FINGER KISS OVER THE SHOT OF MAX. IF ANYONE NEEDS ME I’LL BE PASSING AWAY.

-Anyway. “I’m a one woman” type of man Max said...... well guess what Max, that’s still true because you’ll have one woman and one boyfriend. Problem solved, king <3

-Also, if I think about how Max "I need to chase more joy" Bankman and Tristan "I have too much affection in me" Silva both reacted to having SO much happiness in one evening that they got scared by it and felt it was too good to be true I will start screaming.

-Hey so we all agree that the function of the single “heterosexual” couple on the ship is so we could get the visuals of 2 queer men standing in the background watching while the woman gave birth right. Like as thematically connected to Max’s excuses. We collectively saw that, right? Just checking

-Regarding the preview for next week: LOL. NO WAY IS AVERY ACTUALLY PREGNANT. I don’t know how or why but I’m calling bullshit, respectfully…. there’s gonna be some niche medical explanation for this tomfoolery and it’s going to force emotional angst

I FEEL LIKE I HALLUCINATED THIS EPISODE

THIS IS THE SHOW AND TRIO I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE AND CAN'T BELIEVE EXISTS

Captain Massey you sweet, kind, and accepting old man I love yoouuuu... John Stamos in a throuple I love yooouuu.... writers and directors and creative team behind this queer polyamory show making very deliberate phrasing and framing choices I love yooouuu... <3333

[daezedglownut]

I thought I’d already found all the possible little hints in XI that Sylvando/Sylvia is trans-coded.

There’s the throwaway party chat line at the French private school:

Ah, to travel from place to place collecting mini medals, learning all about the world and blossoming into lovely young ladies! The students of this school are so lucky!

If we find any mini medals on our travels, we should bring them back here right away so that we can blossom into lovely ladies too! Wouldn’t that be wonderful, honey?

There’s the fact that Sylv in Act 2 bends down to pick up items in the exact same way the girls at the academy practice with mini medals, echoing the statue at the gates of ‘La Collectrice’ - “an elegant young lady picking up a gold medal in a distinctly dignified fashion”.

Very demure. Very mindful.

There’s also the name angle to consider. Though it could be argued that if you leave home and don’t want news of where you are getting back to your dad, you’d probably go by a pseudonym or a stage name. So I don’t think that Sylvando/Sylvia not going by Norberto is a very strong piece of evidence at all.

Adding to that, the fact he ran away from home could yet be seen as a gay young man running away because he didn’t feel accepted at home. But it could also be a trans character doing the exact same thing, so I’d say it’s still very plausible. Not to mention Sylvando inadvertently following in his mother’s footsteps during Act 2 with his gang of gay little ducklings, as mentioned by the Ringmaster is actually a really cute detail, however you want to slice it:

I saw her when I was just a child. She was simply the most incredible performer… She led a parade of people out of a kingdom destroyed by monsters, and on to a new home and a brighter future. And she kept them smiling from start to finish! You can’t imagine how inspirational it was for those of us who were lucky enough to wave them on their way.

You remind me of her, you know. The look on her face as she proudly led all those people out of danger, spreading joy and laughter wherever she went…

Then there’s the fact Sylvando/Sylvia goes by female pronouns in the JP version of the game. Again, not concrete evidence based on the fact that “extremely flamboyant gay male characters” in JP media are often (sadly) treated in the exact same way, reducing them to a comic relief sort of “hodgepodge mix of everything queer” Okama stereotype. This doesn’t erase their cisness or their homosexuality. But I can see why from a western viewpoint it might seem like really strong evidence of their transness when it’s something particular to Japan that got lost in translation. The closest comparison I can think to make to “make it make sense” is in the west where gay femme—but entirely cis—males call one another “she” and “her”.

However, I found what could be the most concrete “HEAR ME OUT” evidence completely by accident:

Boxer shorts are a common suit of armor in the Dragon Quest series. They are generally considered a gag piece of equipment notable for their low defensive properties and they can only be worn by male characters.

And wouldn’t you know it, only the Luminary, Erik, Rab, and Hendrik can equip the boxer shorts in XI…

I checked.

Now. I don’t want to say this is canonical or 100% proof by any means. Sylvando could just be a flamboyantly gay man who has too much self respect than to be seen dead in those striped monstrosities. After all, I can’t imagine someone like Jasper would deign to equip them either lol

What I love most about Sylvando/Sylvia is how open to interpretation the character is. I’ve seen so many conflicting theories that are all written beautifully, and all hold merit. (I myself enjoy dabbling with how I interpret the character depending on the needs of the story I’m writing, and whatever tf my gender is doing on any given day…)

And the best thing about Sylvando/Sylvia is the overwhelmingly positive reception to the character from fans. How Sylv could’ve been a cheap throwaway gag without substance, yet arguably became the character who ‘stole the show’ at every turn and got some of the best storylines.

In the end, I didn’t want to save the world for the rest of Erdrea - I just wanted to do it so Sylv could go home and make up for lost time with his adorable, crotchety dad! 🥺💕

[vannahfanfics]

I am a Demi-girl who is Queer and I have adhd, dyslexia, austism, and anxiety so I can be kind of scatter brained, I’m shy at first but once I warm up good luck getting me shut up! my hobbies are reading, knitting/crotchet, video games, and learning new things. I currently have a my dream job which is working at a public library (I work in the teen department) so I get a lot of time read. I am fan of most generas but I really like horror, adventure, and mystery.

Hi, sorry for the delay in completing your commissions! I am on a pretty rough residency block right now where I am working 12-14-hour shifts most days, with only four days off in a twenty-eight-day block. :') But, I finally managed to find some time and energy to work on these! Thank you very much for your patience, and I hope they were worth the wait! :) Your second commission will be soon to follow~

I match you with...

Sanji from One Piece!

Ah, Sanji—one of my first manga/anime loves ever! I'm therefore a little biased toward him, but I have good reasons to say that you two would fit well together. :) So, let's dive in, shall we?

We all know that Sanji gravitates towards women, so all you'd have to do is appear in his general vicinity for him to take notice of you, LOL... But what makes you catch his eye in particular? First, I think he would find your personality utterly adorable. He'd be charmed by your scatterbrained tendencies, finding it a refreshing contrast to the rather collected Straw Hat ladies, Nami and Robin... All your flustering about would give him plenty of opportunities to lend a helping hand, and he'd feel so fulfilled by that. Nothing brings him more joy than being of service, especially to a lovely lady! He'd also adore how you're shy at first but gradually get more bubbly and outgoing as you open up to him. He'll feel so gratified, knowing that you've chosen to bare your true self to him because you feel safe and comfortable in his presence. Such knowledge would allow him to let his walls down, in turn, until you two are as close-knit as could be. :)

We all know the Straw Hats are some of the silliest pirates on the Grand Line, for better or for worse. Though Sanji is one of the more serious of the crew, he's still one who can unleash his inner goofball on a regular basis. So he'll appreciate your silly, childish side! I think the thing he would find most cute about that side of you is your tendency to talk to yourself. Just the unconscious way you babble to yourself without even realizing it sometimes makes him grin from ear to ear. He'll also very much appreciate your commitment to making others smile. That's a Straw Hat must, but also, Sanji also loves to make people smile in his own way—filling their bellies with good food! The way you want to share the simple beauties of life and the things that compel you with the people you care about in order to brighten their lives just resonates with him, and that draws him to you in a way he's not drawn to anyone else.

I think Sanji would also enjoy your inquisitive, adventurous spirit. After all, he's an adventurous spirit himself! He can't help but find your unquenchable thirst for knowledge and stories infectious, to the point that he'll start seeking out things to learn and read just to understand what captivates you so—or, at the very least, have an excuse to readily engage in your hobbies with you. Even if it doesn't grip him with the same intensity it grips you, it won't stop him from curling up beside you so both of you can dive into your respective books, as often as he can! He also finds your art history background so fascinating. He's a guy that can appreciate aesthetics! He'll just stare at you in dreamy-eyed adoration as you go on intellectual rant after intellectual rant about art, utterly captivated by your breadth of knowledge and your passion.

In summary, I think you and Sanji have more in common than one can see at first glance, and that will lead to the two of you gravitating toward one another and connecting to each other in a meaningful way. <3

Switching gears, let's talk headcanons! You made a little note about indulging in some drinking from time to time. I feel like this little detail about you would actually play a pretty big role in your relationship! Sanji is a chef, after all, and he'll hone into any facet of your life that involves food and drink. I think he'd take your occasional enjoyment of alcohol as a means of doting on you. :)

Sanji prides himself as a man of the kitchen, and that isn't limited to just food. He also knows his way around alcohol, to the point that he could be a bartender in his own right. When he hears that you like to indulge in some drinks on a day off or when you're out on the town, he files that information away for later use.

Whatever you like to drink, Sanji will start having it on hand for those days when you're able to relax and not have to worry about work. It'll start off as just something nice he can do for you, getting you a drink so you don't have to get up and prepare it yourself.

Soon, though, Sanji's culinary creativity will start to itch, and he'll wonder how he can make it more special for you. He'll begin to experiment, finding various ways to dress up those drinks for you. He'll take careful note of what you seem to really like, incorporate that for further use, and find ways to improve upon it. He just can't help it. He's a chef, and chefs ever strive to push the limits of their ability!

It's a simple thing, Sanji pouring himself into making drinks for you every now and then, but it's really just a testament to how much he adores you. If he can make you smile with something he crafted with his own two hands from nothing but a bunch of inert ingredients, then he'll get a rush unlike anything else. Nothing brings him more joy than someone he cherishes enjoying his food and drink. :)

Now, for the final part of your match-up, I wanna touch back on your love of sharing things you love with others, particularly stories. It's something that Sanji will reciprocate. If that's the way you express your love, then he wants to express it in the same way so you can hopefully understand just how much he means to you. :) It's not hard, since he's really a gift-giving, quality time, and acts of service kinda guy. Here's a scenario to that end!:

"Wowww..."

You sigh in reverence as you snap your book shut, having just read its final words. You turn it over in your hands to just stare in awe at the cover, basking in the feelings of satisfaction and closure brought about by the masterful conclusion of the story that you'd been absorbed in for the better part of the day. Yet, for all your gratification, you are also sad. It had always been a bittersweet thing to you, reaching a story's end; you could never relive the experience of reading a book for the first time, and once it was over, you were always left with a persistent hunger for more that could never quite be satiated. Even if you had a new story to become engrossed in right at your fingertips, the one you had just finished lingered in the back of your mind for several days, occupying your idle thoughts.

"Still, all good stories must come to an end someday," you remind yourself with a wry smile as you rise to place your newly-finished book among all the rest on your bookshelf. A towering testament to your love of tales, it spanned the entire wall of your bedroom and was stuffed to the brim with books of all subjects and genres. Already itching to fall into the realm of fantasy, you scan the spines before you. However, nothing jumps out at you; not even your well-read favorites seem like they will quell your rapidly rising appetite for the written word, and you sigh in vexation. The book you'd just finished was the last of your new stock. You had landed yourself in a bookworm's greatest pickle.

Should I just read something I haven't read in a while? Or should I go out and buy some more...? you wonder, idly tugging at the spine of one of your childhood favorites before shoving it back into place. Paralyzed by indecision, you hopelessly scan the entirety of your bookshelf several times over before you are interrupted by an excited knock on the half-open door. You turn to see your beloved boyfriend, Sanji, smiling broadly as he pushes the door fully open with one hand while concealing something behind his back with the other.

"Oh, you've finished your book! What good timing!" he exclaims, his grin widening. "I've got a gift for you, my love~"

Sensing that Sanji has come bearing a solution to your dilemma, you immediately perk up, your eyes honing in on the arm held behind his back.

"A gift?" you echo excitedly, shuffling in place as anticipation and impatience overtake you. "What kind of gift?" you ask, though you very much know the answer already.

"Well, while I was out shopping, I happened to pass that bookstore you really like..." Sanji starts, motioning for you to take your place back in your reading chair as he approaches.

"Uh-huh, uh-huh," you urge while you scurry to follow his directions. You all but throw yourself in your chair, only to sit eagerly up on your knees and hold onto the armrest as you squirm restlessly at Sanji's agonizingly slow and dramatic reveal.

"I happened to look in the window and saw a book I thought you might like," he continues, chuckling at your childlike avidity.

"Let me see, let me see!" you plead. The theatrics are simply too much for you to handle; you need it, need to feel the firmness of a brand-new hardcover in your hands and smell the tantalizing musty scent of new pages wafting up your nose. "Please, Sanji, don't tease!"

Finally, he pulls his arm out from behind his back, revealing a gift bag. It is one you'd seen many, many times, as it was the signature gift bag from the aforementioned bookstore, and it never fails to fill you with giddiness and expectation. You immediately make grabby hands at it, prompting Sanji to chuckle once more as he obediently hands it over.

With all the ravenousness of a child tearing into a much-anticipated birthday present, you rip the tissue paper from the bag, yank your prize out from its depths, and toss the bag aside so you can focus on what is likely to be your newest obsession. Your eyes dilate like a cat's as you drink in the gorgeous illustrated cover, a rarity in these days of photographed models or simplistic symbolic designs. You marvel at the lovingly crafted details until your curiosity reaches a breaking point, compelling you to abandon your appreciation of the artwork to instead flip open the cover to read the summary printed on the dust cover's inner leaflet.

"Oooh... This is interesting..." you praise. As you suspect, the vibrant cover is accompanied by what looks like an equally vibrant tale of high fantasy. Though you are itching to dive right in, you do in fact recall that this was a present—and it was customary to offer thanks for such.

"Thank you, Sanji!" you squeal, dropping the book in your lap so you can throw your arms out in invitation for a hug. "This is just what I needed! You've made my day!"

"Really? I'm glad, darling!" Sanji beams, stooping down to return your embrace. He then squawks in surprise when you tug on his shoulders, scooching to the edge of your chair so you can manhandle him into squeezing in beside you. "M-my love, what are you—?"

"Read with me!" you bleat, and, without waiting for his response, wiggle into a comfortable position so you can prop up the book and get started.

Sanji soon recovers from his momentary shock, his rigid body melting as understanding dawns on him. As you snuggle into him, he shifts slightly until you are both resting comfortably in the chair, then winds his arms around you and props his head against yours so he can have a good view of the book. The two of you fall into a contented silence as you plunge together into the world inked within the crisp off-white pages, embarking on a journey into the unknown, hand-in-hand...

Oooh, you are so excited!

Interested in a commission? Check out this post!

[bugcatcherwill]

Last ask is so real I everytime I see any monster ever I'm like lol what if they stopped following Ganon. I have so many ocs as a result of that I'm not even kidding.

the meteo wizzrobe on the border between the gerudo desert and gerudo highlands? its name is Fern and it constantly has a cold because the desert is cold as fuck at night and being right next to the highlands doesn't HELP [I wanted its name to be like Ashens in a sense where the words meaning in hylian is the complete opposite in malician like how ashen in hylian is more related to fire while in malician its more related to snow while fern in hylian is a plant word and in malician I meant for it to be a shortened version of fernae for REASONS]

this one specific bokoblin I saw who bugged out and kept running away from a specific spot that was set on fire even after it was put out? its name is Pine and it sucked so bad at its job that it didn't even defect on purpose the Malice just straight up left it for dead and it managed to survive

a random gibdo I found in the desert nowhere near a hive or any other gibdo?? that's Khiki kei sneak out of the hive under the cover of the sandstorm to look at flowers and plants and kei want nothing more than to get the fuck out and collect them or something. zayl type shit where it's a really sweet character and then oh shit everything goes wrong on account of society [but they still manage to stay kind despite it all ZAYL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH]

I COULD GO ON. BUT THE POINT IS THIS STORY STICKS WITH ME SO MUCH EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME I CAN'T THINK OF BOTW OR TOTK WIFHOUT THINKING oh what would happen in ratc if this happened lol IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY ANYMORE I LOVE IT SO MUCH

thank you for providing the funny little gay monster story I will cherish it forever I'm going to put it in my mout. RAUCOUS APPLAUSE

OHHHHHH I love those ocs already I love all the creative ways people are coming up with for the monsters to be freed and out doing their thing jhkalsdkjfh

BoTW and ToTK are so much of a "find your own story" type gameplay that it just fills me with endless joy to see people reading my fic, having a funny interaction with a monster, and going "this is a character now" I LOVE IT

It's weird to think about all of the monsters in my fic as like...........my ocs.......

Like every time I come up with a new monster blorbo they're not like an established character I cam up with them! But they feel so organic it's like I'm expecting to run into them when I boot up the game!

I'm so brainrotten I love fundamentally changing how people (including me) view a video games thanks to my silly queer coded monsters

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I am recently going through all your Ficino posts with great joy (I need a new historical rabbit hole!). Do you have any preferred sources to recommend if I want to start reding or listening in for more grounding on his life, weirdness, philosophy, and all the other funky queer Florentine folk surrounding him?

yessss come down the rabbit hole with me! He is such a delightful weirdo <3 Get ready to learn so much about Saturn and Saturn's Malice (which is not in the room with us, calm down Ficino).

He's a hard one because, in English, there aren't really any biographies on him. (Italian, obviously, is a different story.)

A lot of the grounding works - good essay collections, academic texts etc. - are prohibitively expensive. They can range from $100cad to over $400cad, depending on the work. This is because most are purely that: academic texts. Meaning the print run was like 100 copies and all were bought by university libraries lol

He is also not a well known figure outside of those who study quattrocento Italy or those who study Platonism and other philosophical movements. Some of those who operate in the occult world are familiar with him due to his writings on astrology and natural magic.

Florence also had a huge flood that tragically decked a lot of their older archives and that has also sadly impacted many historians' work in the early modern field.

Now, all this said, I'm going to give you my current piecemeal recommendations:

Eight Philosophers of the Italian Renaissance - Paul Kristeller - a classic survey work based on a lecture series he gave in like the 60s, I want to say. It's very much "what it says on the tin" and provides a healthy overview of eight philosophers of the Renaissance. Ficino is one of them and it's a good place to start on who/what/where/when/why.

Others are those like Bruno, Pico Della Mirandola, Valla, Petrarch etc. All worth knowing something about because they either knew Ficino or influenced him or were influenced by him.

Kristeller wrote a lot on Ficino and is one of the "founders" I would say of the 20th century revival in the interest in Ficino. So, noodle around his works as there is always something interesting in them. They are dated, he was writing in the 60s - 90s, but it's broadly good stuff.

---

Volume 1 of Ficino's Letters, 2nd edition (make sure it's the second edition). This has great front material that goes into him and his life, positions him in the period and those who he knew and was corresponding with.

I will say, they do write in the introduction: "He [Ficino] was apparently the least active of men. It is probable that in his sixty-six years he never set foot outside the territory of Florence and the record of his life is little more than a chronicle of his books."

Which I take umbridge over as his life was very interesting, people just haven't dug into it to the degree they should.** Like, what was going on in the 1480s with all those land disputes over his father's will between him and his brothers? We need details! We need the family gossip! Alas, we don't have it as it may not exist, anymore, or the related legal papers are in an archive and it's not been made available to the public.

--

**Note: Paul Kristeller, and others, make occasional references to someone who was working on an English biography of Ficino. But this would have been in the 80s and 90s and nothing appears to have come of it. So I presume that project is languishing in someone's desk drawer.

There was talk of Arthur Farndell publishing a biography but I haven't seen any signs of it - last I heard mention would have been in the early 00s. Farndell's done most of the modern translations of Ficino's works, so he's quite prolific and you'll see his name a lot.

--

Ficino's Letter Collection (the remaining volumes) - there are 12 volumes of letters that Ficino began pulling together in the 1470s, but he regularly added to, edited, and tweaked the collection over the course of his life.

Letter collections of this sort were a genre of writing at this time and would have been understood to be a vehicle for expounding on philosophical or political issues rather than literal transcriptions of letters written to people.

Which is to say, Ficino did write some iteration of the letters included to the recipients identified. But what was printed, the manuscript editions we have, are highly edited for the purpose of public edification. This does make it super interesting to see what personal details he chooses to leave in.

For example, November 10, 1476 Ficino writes to Cavalcanti about some theological works he was putting together. Ficino also notes that he is returning to Florence soon, he had been at his father's country farm/house/thing, and he intreats Cavalcanti to also return to Florence so "we may at least be close companions in the city, even if we have not been close companions in the country this summer."

Now, as an addendum after the farewell Ficino includes this gem:

"But why do I write nothing about the recent birth of your third daughter? Because you did not write a word to me. Do you wish me to tell the truth? I will not write a word about this before I hear whether I am to congratulate or to console you. But rejoice in the gifts of the Great King, whatever they may be, for nothing from the great is mean or worthy of scorn."

What an interesting bit of personal correspondence to keep in a letter set meant to bring people closer to Platonic ideals of love, civic duty, and their relationship with the divine.

But all of Ficino's letters to Cavalcanti are odd like that. They're half personal correspondence ("I'm sad and bored, please write me!!!" or "I have Luigi Pulci. So much. Have I told you that recently? Hate him. I love everyone in the entire world with every fibre of my soul except Gigi. Fuck Gigi." etc.) and half actual philosophical musings.

Anyway, the letter collections are worth reading. Each volume also includes relevant historical details on what was happening in his life or the broader world at that time. So, for example, the back matter for Vol 4 dives into the Pazzi conspiracy since that is relevant to the letters of that volume (and Vol. 5 to be fair).

---

De Vita (Three Books of Life) - Carol Kaske and John Clark - This is Ficino's "medical" text plus the third book which is where Ficino is like "and this is how you use magical properties of certain stones, sigils, planets, and daemons to heal yourself" and other normal things like that. (He broadly fits into the mode of natural healing magic that was very common for the time - magic/medicine/science all being tangled together in the medieval and early modern period - however he does go a bit further than some. This is the book that got him into hot water with the Church.) Ficino was the son of a doctor and studied and practiced medicine so it makes sense he added medical texts to his repertoire.

I have version put out by The Renaissance Society of America: Renaissance Text Series with critical notes and introduction by Carol Kaske and John Clark.

High recommend, if only for the front notes and introduction. They do a great job positioning Ficino in the broader intellectual landscape of the time. They do a bit of attempting to track his education which wasn't as formal as one might think (he attended the University of Florence but I don't think he ever graduated. He was self-taught in many respects). They also get into what his thoughts on magic were and how they fit, or didn't fit, with the broader framework of faith and magical practices of Ficino's contemporaries.

In addition, they get into how his medical and magical thinking differs from others, where he was innovative, where he leaned on existing traditions, and the repercussions of having published this text.

---

The Bookseller of Florence - Ross King - this is a great, vey accessible book. It uses Vespasiano's life, a contemporary of Ficino, as a lens through which to explore the manifold changes in manuscript/book creation and distribution that were happening over the course of the fifteenth century.

The book also weaves in the shifting intellectual, religious, and political movements and the big, and small, players that participated and influenced these changes. Naturally, Ficino makes appearances throughout and he is described delightfully.

But I highly recommend it as a means to get a backdrop of the intellectual and political world Ficino was born into and operated within. Also, there's fun gossip about people in it and that's always a plus.

An example of some humourous bits:

"Ficino was scholarly and pious, [Luigi] Pulci (known as Gigi) boisterously scandalous, famous for his insults, invective, and sarcastic humour; he also had an unblushing fondness for taverns, brothels, and black magic. He lived up to his surname (Pulci means "fleas")--a maddenly irritating parasite. As one Florentine frantically complained in a letter to Lorenzo [de' Medici], "Gigi is annoying, Gigi has a bad tongue, Gigi is crazy, Gigi is arrogant, Gigi spreads scandal, Gigi has a thousand faults." Ficino triumphed when Gigi wrote a series of sonnets scorning pilgrims, miracles, preachers, and the doctrine of the immortal soul--and, in doing so, Ficino declared, made himself "odious to God" [...]"

Phenomenal. None of them should ever change. Also just the mental image of this pissed off Florentine frantically writing to Lorenzo "Get this man OUT of our City or so help me God!!"

---

Friend to Mankind: Marsilio Ficino - editor Michael Shepherd - ok so this is an essay collection that is really hit and miss. More misses than hits, now that I'm looking at it. I wouldn't recommend going out of your way for it, but if you see it in like a bargain bin or something it's worth picking up.

That said, there are a few essays in it that are worth finding, if you can:

"Fellow Philosophers," Linda Proud (this one is Great if you want the hilarious hot gossip of Pico Della Mirandola, Poliziano, and Ficino squabbling over Plato's concepts of Love. Well, Pico and Ficino cat-fight over it, if in a loving fashion. Poliziano eats popcorn and laughs.)

"In Praise of the One - Marsilio Ficino and Advaita," Arthur Farndell

"Ficino and Astrology," Geoffrey Pearce

"Ficino on the Nature of Love and the Beautiful," Joseph Milne

---

On the Nature of Love: Ficino on Plato's Symposium - translation by Arthur Farndell

It is 100% worth reading Ficino's commentaries on Plato's Symposium if only because I am convinced he wrote the entire thing as a love letter to Giovanni Cavalcanti.

---

Marsilio Ficino and His World - Sophia Howlett - if you can find this at the local library or used somewhere and it's not $150 I recommend it. This is the overview book that I think you're after that doesn't really exist in English, aside from here.

---

Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy - editors Michael Allen and Valery Rees - This is another expensive one, sitting around $250/$300 - but I've read excerpts from it and all that I have read is amazing.

It's an essay collection covering his thoughts on Hermeticism, Plotinus, the soul and primacy of will, musical therapy (Ficino was very keen on musical therapy), Jewish concepts of the prisca theologia, the 15th c. Plato-Aristotle controversy among other philosophical items. There are also essays exploring his influence on art, thinkers, and writers both in his own lifetime as well as throughout history.

---

Plato's Persona: Marsilio Ficino, Renaissance Humanism, and Platonic Traditions - Denis Robichaud - I just spent too much money and bought this book. Will report back as I read it - however, based on the excerpts I read online, I'm super stoked.

Robichoud seems to be exploring how Ficino wrote and created his sense of self through interpretation of Platonic writings and thought. There's lots of stuff about how Ficino interacts with Plato and interprets and understands himself as, like, Plato's "spokesperson" if not a full extension of Plato himself.

---

I hope this helps! Ficino's such a weird little man and I love him. I hope you enjoy going down the rabbit hole as much as I have - and I'm always here to talk Ficino, or anything early modern Italy really. <3 <3

[walkietalkiemaniac]

I'm cis so I'm not sure if my opinion on this song matter that much,but I'll share my opinion since u asked

Personally I really like how genuine and raw this song is,it's not k. just saying "trans rights" on mic but rather sharing his experience and how queer ppl affected his life and how he affected them. Him misgendering his relatives,the deadnaming and usage f slur made me feel uneasy bcs how real it is,and I think it's really important how triggering and uncomfortable this song,afterall this song is man realizing his wrongdoings since elementary school and how he hurt his closed ones,and him finally standing up for them even if it means going against religion. And I really like how he humanized his family members,like his uncle being cool guy and looking up to him or his cousin playing w barbies and still going to church despite her coming out. It's just really good imo.

Also I live in homophobic and religious house hold and man,the "The day I choose humanity over religion" got me crying for hour. It's just hit me right in heart and got me fucked up.

Sorry if this ask is a mess,I have a lot of thoughts abt this song and English isn't my first language

no need to apologize, lovely ask! you might be more articulate than i am lol. and yeah kendrick never spoonfeeds information, its always deeply personal and touching, he would never take the easy road to say something and this songs existence in hiphop and kendricks dominance in hiphop, both bring me joy. im so happy it exists. every time someone chooses humanity over religion, over stubbornly held beliefs, over old grievances, old prejudice, we are better off for it collectively

[subzeroparade]

Creeping into your inbox with the great joy that we have such similar taste in horror! I was wondering what your favourite horror movies/shows/books are? I'm always on the lookout for more stuff :D

Oh! Well. *◡*

Some off the top of my head (shoving this under a cut for the long, rambling opinions in which I hope you find something useful). 

Movies: My current, contemporary favourite is definitely The Witch. It’s peak everything - period-piece, atmosphere, folklore/religious horror - everything I love. Absolute masterwork of minimalist horror.

As for what’s stuck with me, The Mist - took it like a fist to the face and still think about it all the time. There’ve been some other decent religious/folky horror stuff I’ve like over the past few years - Let the Right One In (book and movie both) The Omen (excellent buildup) and more recently Antlers (doubles as a monster movie), because I am obsessed with Wendigo lore. I know they’re kinda spoopy now but when I was a tween I was also a big sucker for The Village and Signs, ha. Again, mostly for the atmospheric buildup of dread, and The Village for its evocation of folksy, Puritanical horror. 

I’m a sucker for some monster movies as well, even semi-trashy ones like Cloverfield. I love the big monster-reveal moment. Prometheus, for the same reason. More interestingly, The Host (which is Korean) but adjacent to that are some of the classic Japanese horrors like Ring and the Grudge, especially The Grudge - both versions - which changed me forever. 

Series: Midnight Mass (just a Bloodborne modern AU honestly) has some interesting ideas on life after death, and Hamish Linklater’s performance is to die for. I’ve watched it twice and loved it both times. Archive 81 for the spooky ancient-god/slow burn dread. Huge fan of The Terror series which I think you know (I love Jared Harris, the best modern-day Cassandra if you take Chernobyl into account, and nice to see Tobias Menzies playing someone way less pathetic than Edmure in Game of Thrones lol). The book is a little more dry but still good, and I just started the series’ second season (Infamy) and love it already.

 Also worth mentioning a French series called Zone blanche (translated as Black Spot of Netflix), a little under the radar, which was great. Very much the subtle “the forest is a dark place beyond human understanding” vibe. I’m actively still going through Del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities but enjoying the variety of episodes so far: "The Outsider" (which frankly I just read as a queer/lesbian awakening story) and "Pickman’s Model" in particular (cannot avoid Lovecraft lmao, I’m so sorry). 

I don’t know if I can add the absolute incontrovertible masterwork that is Dark here, though it has some very, very itty bitty inconsequential minor horror elements. But I will watch it again and again until I die. 

In addition, some looser, genre-defying or multi-genre “horror” works like Get Out, Attack the Block, and the Southern Reach Trilogy (book only, the movie just couldn’t capture the peak high concept eldritch horror).  I would add the recent film The Wonder to that which has very subtle religious horror elements but is not supernatural whatsoever. I adored it. 

For books, any goddamn thing by Joyce Carol Oates but especially "Poe Posthumous; or, the Light-House" as I’ve made abundantly clear already; also I’m currently going through this excellent treasure trove of short horror stories collected in this post here (there is a second list somewhere too, if I recall, and they are even sorted by sub-category!) 

At the top of my must-watch list is Lamb right now, and eventually The Ritual and Midsommar, as well as The Lighthouse for obvious reasons. Any other recs are always welcome! I took two classes in CEGEP on Gothic lit and horror films and learned, fundamentally, that the horror genre is an incredibly useful and dynamic way to chart humanity’s anxieties over the past two centuries or so. (Dr Kris Woofter if you are still out there, you absolute hero, those were the greatest classes of my then-short academic life and I carry them with me always; or tucked neatly under my floorboards, where they writhe and groan ominously.) 

[c1028h]

fighting games thoughts

so im writing this waiting for my bus to go to work but I just don't really have anyone to dump my current obsessions so I'm just gonna write here instead. a few months ago I stumbled upon a tiktok video of the game guilty gear strive, but I didn't pay much attention except the fact that the game had some really interesting characters. now, fighting games were always a part of my life, it was a way of connecting with my father since he really enjoyed them too, a few that really stood out in my childhood were killer instinct, mortal kombat (a bunch of them, but mainly the ps3 one),

street fighter, the teen titans game on the cartoon network website, anyway, I loved them. but sometime in my life I stopped playing them and forgot about it, I always saw people playing mortal kombat when the 10 released, and then when the 11 released, but it never sparkled the joy in my to play again (also this thing was expensive as fuck). a few weeks ago I stumbled upon guilty gear strive again on my tiktok, but this time since I'm working I actually have the founds to afford a game on steam lol. I looked it up about some fighting games and got interested in a few of them.. guitly gear strive, tekken 7 and street fighter 5 or 6. now, even though street fighter has some characters I really loved like chunli, cammy, menat, juri, vega, it didn't really sparked anything in me.. tekken at the time was a little strange to me since the game is in 3d and the characters kinda looked like the sims ngl, so the option i had was guilty gear strive, it had some characters I thought it looked cool like bridget, testament, i-no, axl, anji, zato-1, may, anyway, you get the point, the game was also in 2d, which was a little more comfortable to me since all the experience I had was in 2d games, it had a big community of people that could teach me and play with me, so I bought that, the expanded editions to be fancy~. the game is really fun, it has some really cool machanics and its making me see fighting games in a way I never did before, all I did before was smash as much buttons as I could and hope my opponent didn't smashed the buttons before me, but now I'm starting to understand the fundamentals.. blocking, punishing, countering, frame data and all of that, I'm not good by any means, actually I started the online part at floor 6 and now im in floor 3, but thats part of the process I guess.. the problem is, I didn't stopped searching about other fighting games, and that made me regret a bit not buying tekken 7, the community was a lot bigger, it had characters that looked cool but not in a supernatural way, in a normal fighting way, like xiaoyu, lili, leo, katarina, asuka, eddy, hwoarang, lee, zafina, anyway, the list was gigantic, so after a week of debating if I should buy tekken or not I bought it, yesterday.. I didn't had any time at all to play since im in the end of my semester and working everyday on the afternoon (I'm fucking exhausted).. (I did a pause on writing, this is two nights after I started), so.. like I said I bought tekken 7 to try out since the idea of playing was really cool, and it is really cool, but like I said I don't have any fucking time ri3848u83.. but my semester is now ending and im a little free, so I'm using this time that I have to play Yakuza 0 and guilty gear strive, today I started playing with milia rage and I'm kinda obsessed.. a woman that can fight with her hair? that's peak pop diva queer icon to me.. she's like madonna of fighting games tbh.. I'm now really invested in playing more games, I bought the Yakuza collection on gog cause it was extremely cheap and mortal kombat x + 11 at 90% discount, gotta make the pennies I got as a salary count, after that I wanna play resident evil, I used to play re4 with my cousin he was kinda obsessed so we would play a whole weekend of re4 and tony hawk's lol.. I also wanna play devil may cry which is I game I used to own but never played.. anyway I just wanted to dump all these ideas somewhere and thought maybe this is the most appropriate place? I guess..

[lemonysnicket]

sage, nutmeg, and taro?

hi sunnyyY!!!

sage -> what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

oh boy oh boy... for me it's always music or paintings! music is always emotionally moving but every once in a while there will be a melody that just. Floors me. but also... certain paintings make my chest hurt with how they make me feel. the fun part of going to museums is seeing beautiful things and enjoying the stay but then... every once in a while you'll see a painting that just Hits. i have a few ive taken photos of over the years, but also literally nothing compares to seeing them in person. it's that feeling i get staring at the canvas that completely overwhelms me i wish i could capture it. i remember in the dreamer trilogy declan is looking at a blank gray painting and says something like "it just makes me want to goddamn cry" and he's so real for that i feel it every day. here are a few! i wish i remembered their titles or artists,,,

this one is the most tender depiction of queer love i've ever seen. the faces, the colors, the brush strokes and the way it fades off into abstraction... there's so much love in this painting i could cry

this one is by the same artist as the first! genuinely i got lost in this painting. i wish photos could capture it but this took up a whole wall and i couldn't stop looking at it. the colors, the detail on the faces and the abstraction everywhere else, the movement... had i not been with someone on this museum trip i could've sat looking at this painting all day.

now, this one... this one left me overcome with a feeling i genuinely cannot find the words to describe. i just can't quite put my finger on it, but it overwhelmed me with something . my chest hurt looking at it. the title of this painting was "painting for my dad" and the title and the black void of the painting were already so touching for me but someone had left a bouquet by it who knows how long ago, and all of that combined just Floored me

i don't really know what it is about this one - it's just bizarre and there are just these flat colors and these vertical trees and spindly lines that make me feel Something. idk. i just remember i couldn't stop staring at it

god i wish my phone camera could capture the beauty of oil paints - you can see how gorgeous this work is but you can't truly experience its beauty because it looked like she was glowing. her eyes had this luscious sparkle to them, and something about the painting had me transfixed. i walked around the rest of the museum with my family and i ended up wandering back to her on my own because i just could not stop looking at her. i fell in love with this painting and the woman in it for those few hours

r. c. gorman's works always make me feel a certain sort of way. the flatness and the abstract planes of the desert and the beautiful colors always create such a specific vibe and atmosphere that leaves me breathless

okay wow i went on a tangent! back to the actual questions lol

nutmeg -> how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

oooh!! ok so my room is quite a mess because i shared it for ages so there is way too much furniture and stuff in there and none of it matches or is cohesive. HOWEVER i do have one little section that is my absolute pride and joy. i have this old antique wooden dresser with this dark wood and this attached scuffed old mirror that's just gorgeous . i love it so much. i covered it with a little lace doily thing and an assorted collection of rocks i've picked up from rivers and beaches. there's a salt lamp on it, too, and a whole bunch of candles. i also have an adjacent section of wall i've decorated with post cards from art museums, so there are little art pieces next to it :3 while the rest of my room is not really that cute and doesn't share this theme, i do have a style that's very antique inspired

taro -> if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you��d tell them about?

oooooh! i would probably tell them about how i've picked up guitar lately, how i'm learning a few adrianne lenker songs and i've learned the bug collector. i'd probably also talk about how i've gotten back into rp and i've been writing and brainrotting with friends. or my incoming academic stress, lol

[liaroflesbos]

Book ask game cribbed from @sixth-light

1) Last book I read:

Last thing I've finished was the collection Queer Little Monsters edited by David Ly and Daniel Zomparelli. It was definitely enjoyable, some good weird shit in there that I'm still mulling over. I particularly like Hiromi Goto's short story, "And The Moon Spun Round Like a Top"

2) A book I recommend:

Oh, probably The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Adison if you haven't read it. I have read it.... so much.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Hmmmm I actually do this a couple times a year, where I keep reading until I finish. I'm pretty sure I did it mostly recently with Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez, a book I really super enjoyed.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

I'm constantly rereading and relistening to things, especially because I have space for it while I work at my job. Right now I'm relistening to Seasparrow by Kristin Cashore, the most recent of her Seven Kingdoms books... which I think the series has a new name now that there are like 11/12 kingdoms lol

5) A book on my TBR

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez. I heard he's an underated author and I'm psyched to check him out!

6) A book I’ve put down

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dosteovesky. I'll finish it one day, it was just long and giving me a headache

7) A book on my wish list

What's the difference between a TBR and a wishlist? If it's something I wished I owned, I would like to buy Textual Poachers. I keep looking in used bookstores to find fan studies texts after I got Enterprising Women at one, but so far no luck.

8) A favourite book from childhood

Well, the first fic I wrote was for the Charlie Bone series, which I read A Lot. Oh, I also loved this book called True Talents by David Lubar? Both of them very much about kids how had some special talents but were still caught in the grindstone of hostile adult institutions.

9) A book you would give a friend

Also agree with sixth-light--all book gifts are heavily personalized for the person I'm giving it to, that's the joy of a book gift: an attempt to discern exactly what they might like and to find it. That being said, I might go with Howl's Moving Castle or maybe Swordheart

10) The most books you own by a single author

I would say I don't own very many books right now, but it's getting up there again. Not a lot by the same author though. Not counting comics (probably I have the most Chuck Dixon? I have a lot of 90s Batman stuff), it's probably manga from Jun Mochizuki, between Pandora Hearts and Vanitas.

11) A nonfiction book you own

Just yesterday I bought Black Superheroes, Milestone Comics, and their Fans by Jeffrey A Brown at the used bookstore. I'm excited to try it!

12) what are you currently reading

I switch between a couple formats of books at once depending on where I am and what I'm doing. Right now I'm reading on ebook Hearts of Atlantis by Stephen King, listening to Doppleganger by Naomi Klein on audiobook, and reading the collection Broken Stars translated and edited by Ken Liu on the trains and such. Oh, also trying to finish Bacchus Volume 1

13) what are you planning on reading next?

Oh, my book club book for next month is School for Good Mothers--the theme was Philly. I have Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino out on ebook right now, and next time I head to the library I want Akira Volume 2.

[aetheros]

I virtually attended a church sermon today. I feel a little weird about it bc I’m not Christian and I have a huge problem with their god and I’m surrounded by corrupt ones that don’t follow their own teachings whatsoever and spread hatred. But after research and curiosity, I wanted to see what a Unitarian church was about. More about community than a closed religion. There’s a church here but it’s kinda far away and it’s at 10:30am and I don’t really do mornings before 11 soooo… I only made it today for their livestream bc I woke up at 10:30 on the dot lol.

It was unlike any other sermon I’d ever attended. The others were just priests shouting at us calling us sinners and blaming everything on the devil. 😑 This one? Multiple people stood at the altar with announcements, talks of joy, they talked about Diwali and Hinduism. There were hymns that shared from multiple religions to treat others the way you want to be treated, something I was told relentlessly growing up while the ones who told me treated everyone with malice. Optional collections for a resource centre I worked at years ago that helps the homeless. There were hymns from the choir that were recently sang by the people of Israel and Palestine to stop the wars. People made clay lamps during the service for Diwali (even though it’s several weeks late iirc?), there was a rangoli. They reminded everyone of Pagan holidays and Jewish holidays and Muslim holidays. There was a meditation. They welcome everyone—atheist, agnostic, Christian, pagan, another religion, queer, BIPOC, etc. It was beautiful.

I’ve always been open to all religions, just not part of them. I’ve gone from being forced into corrupt “Christianity” from 3-14 by an evil mother, to questioning agnostic angry at Christianity, to Wiccan, to Pagan, to questioning agnostic, to Satanist, to questioning agnostic/atheist. But considering this church isn’t down your throat “You’re bad, you’re the problem, I personally hate the queer community bc I’m a piece of shit rwinger therefore I’m going to use my genocidal god as an excuse to be a cunt even tho Jesus loves everyone” bigoted nonsense… and more about community and spreading genuine love… idk I might show up next Sunday too. It’s a peaceful hour out of my rotten week.

[whats-a-human]

Sharing my personal color magick, let's go! I'm still learning and making my own meanings and stuff

BLACK - casts or banishes suffering. Associated with boundaries, thresholds, mirrors, doors, windows, privacy, secrets, grief and nighttime.

SILVER - connected to dreams, storms, the unknown or unseen, the moon, enchanting, altered states of consciousness, protection and the element of air.

WHITE - a blank canvas to build upon; purity, renewal, cleansing, new beginnings, letting go.

POMEGRANATE - just a shade of red for many, but very meaningful to me. A kinda rosy-red, not too dark. Connected to virility, memory/remembrance and a passion that remains "calm and collected" unlike traditional red's.

CRIMSON - blood, aggression, fear, intrusive thoughts, anger, impulses and urges and things specifically connected to mental illnesses. Can help confronting these issues, and it's not a standalone for negativity, either.

RED - passion, sexuality and romance, vitality, health, honor, the element fire and being motivated or wakeful.

PINK - gentle love and self-care, playfulness and friendship, nurturing, forgiveness, healing.

PEACH - a color that's gained popularity recently, for sure. A shade of reddish-orange, usually very light or pastel; I associate it with innovation, beauty, comfort and acceptance.

BROWN - very underrated! It means connection to humans, non-human beings and the environment; compassion, endurance (like a tree) and also connection to the (or your own) past.

ORANGE - means creativity, energy, improving your skills and learning new ones, and thinking outside the box.

HONEY - a mix of orange and yellow, also called amber. I link it to healthy productivity, perseverance, stability and hope.

YELLOW - joy of course, ecstasy, daytime, bravery, extroversion, giving or getting blessings, and wealth.

WHEAT - an ashy, beige shade of yellow. It means sacredness to me in a pagan way, the way nature is sacred. Think about it: if it was built upon human morality plants wouldn't be alive, predation and parasitism wouldn't exist, death wouldn't exist and animals would talk. It's hard to think of good and bad in a non-human way, even with basic things like self/species preservation. Anyways, it's a feeling of being sacredly powerful or witnessing a sacred power, all within a non-anthropocentric world. Does that make sense? (Does it need to?) lol

GREEN - growth, fertility, plant magick along with brown, deep intimacy with the self or something/someone else, cultivating virtues and the earth element.

BLUE - tranquility, peace, harmony, protection, rest, bodies of water, the sky, and the water element.

PURPLE - intuition, wisdom, independence, understanding (both with yourself and with others).

LAVENDER - sadness, vulnerability, tranquility as well, and the aftermath of catharsis (like the state you're in after crying), loss (but not grieving), endings and closure.

MAGENTA - pride, nostalgia, success, friendship just like pink, and queerness yeahh :))

[outrunningthedark]

How are you this fine morning? Just wanted to say again how much I appreciate your ray-of-light blog. (It also helped me see I've been doing a good job curating my dash because I didn't see any of the negativity, just people complaining about the negativity lol. Eddie is moving to texas?? Like where on EARTH did that come from?)

For the sake of everybody's nervous systems, I hope folks can just let themselves enjoy this ride we are on, can allow themselves to continue to be surprised and delighted. Instead of locked in to an expectation (or hopelessness!) that basically guarantees misery. Queer trauma is real and we'll do all kinds of things to protect ourselves from the pain of inevitable disappointment. But, selfishly, I have so appreciated the collective joy and elation of this past week (at poor eddie being shot, we are so sick...) and hope it continues.

I don't know about you, love, but my day was going just fine until some teenage girl decided to start shit on Twitter! 😑 (I honestly wish someone in Oliver's camp would teach him how to utilize the block button. His social media experience would be so much more pleasant.) This season's been lackluster for me (A*a and T*ylor's resurgence has put fandom heteronormativity on display...), but one of the things I have thoroughly enjoyed is being SURPRISED by each and every Buddie interaction/detail because we genuinely have no idea what's coming every week. The highlights: ✨ "Eddie and Hen went back to their kids months ago." I'M SORRY. WHAT. THEY WERE ROOMATES??? AND WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT??? WHERE DID EDDIE SLEEP??? ✨ When Eddie came to stand next to Buck against the firetruck as Buck was checking his phone ✨ "Hey, at least it's not a tsunami. Right?" LISTEN!!! I AM GOING TO KEEP YELLING ABOUT EDDIE TRYING TO MAKE LIGHT OF SUCH A TRAUMATIC EVENT BECAUSE HE KNOWS BUCK STILL FEELS GUILTY ABOUT LOSING CHRIS!!! ✨ Eddie making sure Buck's rope is secure 😍 "This is Diaz. Be advised, Buck's about to touch down." THE WAY A LINE LIKE THIS WILL MAKE ME SCREAM WHEN THEY'RE CANON, THOUGH??? WHAT IF EDDIE CALLS HIM SOMETHING ELSE??? ✨ Remember when Buck was being sent in to help Chim with the girl in labor and he's telling Eddie what the plan is? "Copy that. You ready?" It's such a *small* moment, but Eddie making sure Buck is good to go is EVERYTHING. ✨ THE DAMN SOLAR SYSTEM MOBILE HANGING FROM CHRISTOPHER'S CEILING ALL OF THE SUDDEN??? WHAT IS THAT ABOUT??? ✨ THE REALIZATION THAT EDDIE MADE SURE BUCK WAS PART OF CHRISTOPHER'S QUARANTINE BUBBLE ✨ FAMILY GAME NIGHT!!! Christopher asking Buck to go to his apartment to play video games!!! Eddie giving Buck the "try me" stare!!! ✨ Eddie "I can know weird stuff, too" Diaz is my favorite Eddie Diaz, bye. HE LISTENS TO BUCK. HE TRIES TO LEARN NEW THINGS. ✨ Christopher and his (other) dad conspiring to buy Eddie a Hildy - "We got him." "Thanks, Buck." 🤭 ✨ “Just gonna be you and me.”  “Her? You’re going with her?” Buck, sweetie, I’m so sorry he did that you! ✨ “You did not build [Christopher] a skateboard.” // “Yeah, well. Buck helped.” HE JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE SHE KNEW. ✨ “I think we’re gonna go to my parents in El Paso to eat.” DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS??? WHY MUST THEY TORTURE US WITH THESE UNNECESSARY DETAILS??? ✨ “For the love of God, please follow Buck back on insta.” SUCH A GOOD HUSBAND. JUST WANTS TO MAKE BUCK HAPPY. ✨ Cagney and Lacey are on the case 🧐 ✨ Eddie telling Bobby Buck is on the phone with Dr. Copeland because he has to work on “de-escalation techniques.”  ✨ “Maybe Chimney needs to stop talking to him. Could set him off. *awkward pause* Sorry. Bad choice of words.” Forever curious why Buck is the only character (so far) to acknowledge Eddie’s PTSD??? ✨ Eddie validating Buck’s feelings after the meeting with his parents and placing his hand on the punching bag because he knows Buck won’t hit him 😭 ✨ “Defective parts, as it turned out.” // “Hey, that’s not on you.” EDDIE WILL NOT LET HIS HUSBAND TALK ABOUT HIMSELF LIKE THAT. ✨ “Show-off.” // “I had to do it.” // “I know you did.” (That’s Eddie’s version of “I love you”, for the record.) ✨ “I’m sorry, what was that?” // “Check.” OKAY, HUSBANDS! WE SEE YOU! ✨ “Still not sure what inspired the software update.” EDDIE LOVES BUCK JUST THE WAY HE IS, THANK YOU. ✨ “You’re allowed to give yourself some time, you know. To process.” Buck might be willing to forgive his parents, but Eddie? Eddie thinks they don’t deserve his love. At least not right then.  ✨ The hubbies laughing about the clowns and Eddie stopping himself from touching Buck 👀 (Still curious as to if that was in the script or Ryan went “my bad!”) ✨ “IT’S LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS SCREAMING AT YOU AND YOU REFUSE TO LISTEN.” ✨ I gotta shout out Mama Hen for everyone’s *other* favorite line from Jinx - “Ana who?”  Okay, I’ll stop there before I bore y’all to tears. ALL OF THIS RIGHT HERE? Happened in the first SIX EPISODES (including the crossover) and we knew NOTHING about ANY OF IT. I’m not gonna tell anyone how to feel about the possibility of canon!Buddie, but I hope that this post has helped you realize the unknown is what has made season 4 so special to us. 💖

[joi-in-the-tardis]

AO3 Writers Tag Game

Tagged by: @whovianfloozy Thank you for thinking of me! :D

How many works do you have on AO3? 56

What is your total AO3 wordcount? 103,363

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Two on AO3- Doctor Who and Good Omens. But I've also written for Star Trek, Star Trek Voyager, The X-Files, and The Dresden Files (book series) in other places or never published them.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Soft to My Edges, Lockdown Voicemails, Mine, Rest Now, Collecting a Demon

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do, though I confess sometimes it takes a little while! I want people to know I appreciate that extra effort they put in to let me know they enjoyed my stories. Honestly, seeing a comment makes my day. What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. There might be tension in the middle of a story, but it is always resolved by the end. Joi is a certified fluff writer. Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? I have never published a crossover, but one fateful NaNoWriMo I did take my original characters and plop them on board the Enterprise with Star Trek TNG characters because I was frustrated with my story. And it helped! Troi helped me learn things about my antagonist. Of course, once I got to better understand his motivations, I stalled again because I didn't want to kill him. Oops.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I have not, thankfully. And, as an ace writer, I know this can happen.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? I do. I write fluffy smut. Occasionally it strays into very light kinky-fluffy smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of... Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet, but I've have had an offer and considered it. My problem is I barely have the confidence to publish a story let alone share the writing experience with someone else.

What’s your all-time favourite ship? That's not really a fair question. It begs me to say whatever is my current fixation. But I have loved every one of my ships with my whole heart. Mulder/Scully brought me into fandom. Janeway/Chakotay made fandom into a home that I could decorate to suit my tastes. Dresden/Murphy taught me that I can write my own stories, even if the plot is wonky or non-existant. Kirk/Spock showed me how deeply I could burrow into a ship and how diverse/multi-generational fandom can be. Being a Doctor/Multi-shipper taught me things about myself and gained me friendships that I treasure. Aziraphale/Crowley is the queer gift that fuels me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? I'm not sure if I ever wrote down any of my X-Files fic or if I just daydreamed a lot. I know I wrote for Star Trek Voyager and published a couple things. Yes, I still have printed versions of them in my possession. No, I will not share them. lol

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? I'm going to cheat a little and instead of picking an individual story I'll say: Too Many Beds Series Not only is it the longest thing I've published (collectively, just over 32k), but I was delighted to find that my readers enjoyed my original characters as much as I did. I don't think the sequel would've come about without that encouragement.

tagging: @onthedriftinthetardis @skyler10fic @wordsintimeandspace @flyingjemsaucer and anyone else that wants to play- tag me so I can see!

AO3 Writers Tag Game Outline for copy/paste ease of play:

Tagged by:    Thank you! How many works do you have on AO3? What is your total AO3 wordcount? How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Do you respond to comments, why or why not? What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending? Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? Have you ever received hate on a fic? Do you write smut? If so what kind? Have you ever had a fic stolen? Have you ever co-written a fic before? What’s your all-time favourite ship? What was the first fandom you wrote for? What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? tagging: