#this one is NOT going in my queer joy collection lol

[arecaceae175]

for the pride month prompts:

trans sky.

he can't breathe? maybe he should take off his binder and stretch? has he got cramps? does he wanna sleep? the chain just supporting him. mentions of t4t groozelink?

twilight cheering him up and showing off top surgery scars???

HI HELLO I WENT BONKERS WITH THIS ONE

Summary: Twilight and Legend notice Sky struggling with his binder, then Sky grapples with jealousy. 2.2k words, angst and hurt/comfort.

I hope this is ok! It's a bit more angsty than I intended, but oh well. I fit quite a few of the prompts in here. And it also got way longer than intended, but that's a good thing lol.

Warnings for lots of dysphoria and discussion of unsafe binding practices.

Excerpt under the cut :D

"Sit," Legend commanded, then plopped onto the ground herself. Twilight followed, concern still clearly displayed on his face. Sky grimaced as he sat, his binder pinching one of the rolls in his skin. He kept his eyes on the trees so he wouldn't have to see the way his body settled. It was always worse sitting. He couldn't easily adjust the tight fabric of his binder underneath his layers of tunics and chainmail, so he wiggled until the pinching stopped.

"Everything okay?" Warriors asked.

"I'll holler if we need anything," Twilight said. Sky appreciated the lack of audience as he sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"Ew," Legend mumbled. She pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket and threw it at Sky. Sky caught it with a wet laugh and used it to wipe the snot and tears off his face, though they weren't quite finished yet.

His chest ached. Crying always made the pain worse.

"Can you tell us what's going on?" Twilight asked.

Sky turned his head away. There was a bug hopping across the forest floor. He followed it with his eyes as a hand absentmindedly rose to rub his ribs.

"Shit. When was the last time you took off your binder?" Legend asked.

"Oh," Twilight hummed in realization. "I knew you looked out of breath after the battle this morning." 

Sky choked on a sob. He knew he wasn't supposed to wear his bonder during exercise. With the speed Warriors was leading the group with, the hiking itself qualified, and he was already overworked and out of breath after the run-in with monsters. Sky had thought for a long time about whether or not to wear the binder when he got dressed that morning, but one look at his reflection in the clear lake water and his decision was made for him.

"I'm sorry," Sky mumbled. His head dipped forward, chin resting against his chest. He desperately wanted to curl into a ball, but the fabric of his binder was digging into his skin enough just sitting upright.

"Don't apologize," Twilight said softly. "It's okay."

"I don't even know why I'm crying," Sky said through his tears.

"Do you want to change out of your binder for a break?" Twilight asked.

Sky shook his head as another sob broke through. He winced and a hand flew to his ribs. They were already bruised, and the crying hurt.

"Twilight was trying to be nice about it, but you don’t actually have a choice. You need a break." Legend's voice was harsh, but not unkind.

Twilight leaned forward and put his hand right in front of Sky's leg, as close to physical comfort as he could get. "Bodies are bodies, nothing more. Yours has carried you this far, so it deserves a break, yeah?"

Sky sniffed and nodded, reluctantly. He knew he was well over the recommended wearing time, and that was not counting the exertion of the day. Plus, Sky admitted to himself, his binder was really hurting. "Yeah."

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

I am recently going through all your Ficino posts with great joy (I need a new historical rabbit hole!). Do you have any preferred sources to recommend if I want to start reding or listening in for more grounding on his life, weirdness, philosophy, and all the other funky queer Florentine folk surrounding him?

yessss come down the rabbit hole with me! He is such a delightful weirdo <3 Get ready to learn so much about Saturn and Saturn's Malice (which is not in the room with us, calm down Ficino).

He's a hard one because, in English, there aren't really any biographies on him. (Italian, obviously, is a different story.)

A lot of the grounding works - good essay collections, academic texts etc. - are prohibitively expensive. They can range from $100cad to over $400cad, depending on the work. This is because most are purely that: academic texts. Meaning the print run was like 100 copies and all were bought by university libraries lol

He is also not a well known figure outside of those who study quattrocento Italy or those who study Platonism and other philosophical movements. Some of those who operate in the occult world are familiar with him due to his writings on astrology and natural magic.

Florence also had a huge flood that tragically decked a lot of their older archives and that has also sadly impacted many historians' work in the early modern field.

Now, all this said, I'm going to give you my current piecemeal recommendations:

Eight Philosophers of the Italian Renaissance - Paul Kristeller - a classic survey work based on a lecture series he gave in like the 60s, I want to say. It's very much "what it says on the tin" and provides a healthy overview of eight philosophers of the Renaissance. Ficino is one of them and it's a good place to start on who/what/where/when/why.

Others are those like Bruno, Pico Della Mirandola, Valla, Petrarch etc. All worth knowing something about because they either knew Ficino or influenced him or were influenced by him.

Kristeller wrote a lot on Ficino and is one of the "founders" I would say of the 20th century revival in the interest in Ficino. So, noodle around his works as there is always something interesting in them. They are dated, he was writing in the 60s - 90s, but it's broadly good stuff.

---

Volume 1 of Ficino's Letters, 2nd edition (make sure it's the second edition). This has great front material that goes into him and his life, positions him in the period and those who he knew and was corresponding with.

I will say, they do write in the introduction: "He [Ficino] was apparently the least active of men. It is probable that in his sixty-six years he never set foot outside the territory of Florence and the record of his life is little more than a chronicle of his books."

Which I take umbridge over as his life was very interesting, people just haven't dug into it to the degree they should.** Like, what was going on in the 1480s with all those land disputes over his father's will between him and his brothers? We need details! We need the family gossip! Alas, we don't have it as it may not exist, anymore, or the related legal papers are in an archive and it's not been made available to the public.

--

**Note: Paul Kristeller, and others, make occasional references to someone who was working on an English biography of Ficino. But this would have been in the 80s and 90s and nothing appears to have come of it. So I presume that project is languishing in someone's desk drawer.

There was talk of Arthur Farndell publishing a biography but I haven't seen any signs of it - last I heard mention would have been in the early 00s. Farndell's done most of the modern translations of Ficino's works, so he's quite prolific and you'll see his name a lot.

--

Ficino's Letter Collection (the remaining volumes) - there are 12 volumes of letters that Ficino began pulling together in the 1470s, but he regularly added to, edited, and tweaked the collection over the course of his life.

Letter collections of this sort were a genre of writing at this time and would have been understood to be a vehicle for expounding on philosophical or political issues rather than literal transcriptions of letters written to people.

Which is to say, Ficino did write some iteration of the letters included to the recipients identified. But what was printed, the manuscript editions we have, are highly edited for the purpose of public edification. This does make it super interesting to see what personal details he chooses to leave in.

For example, November 10, 1476 Ficino writes to Cavalcanti about some theological works he was putting together. Ficino also notes that he is returning to Florence soon, he had been at his father's country farm/house/thing, and he intreats Cavalcanti to also return to Florence so "we may at least be close companions in the city, even if we have not been close companions in the country this summer."

Now, as an addendum after the farewell Ficino includes this gem:

"But why do I write nothing about the recent birth of your third daughter? Because you did not write a word to me. Do you wish me to tell the truth? I will not write a word about this before I hear whether I am to congratulate or to console you. But rejoice in the gifts of the Great King, whatever they may be, for nothing from the great is mean or worthy of scorn."

What an interesting bit of personal correspondence to keep in a letter set meant to bring people closer to Platonic ideals of love, civic duty, and their relationship with the divine.

But all of Ficino's letters to Cavalcanti are odd like that. They're half personal correspondence ("I'm sad and bored, please write me!!!" or "I have Luigi Pulci. So much. Have I told you that recently? Hate him. I love everyone in the entire world with every fibre of my soul except Gigi. Fuck Gigi." etc.) and half actual philosophical musings.

Anyway, the letter collections are worth reading. Each volume also includes relevant historical details on what was happening in his life or the broader world at that time. So, for example, the back matter for Vol 4 dives into the Pazzi conspiracy since that is relevant to the letters of that volume (and Vol. 5 to be fair).

---

De Vita (Three Books of Life) - Carol Kaske and John Clark - This is Ficino's "medical" text plus the third book which is where Ficino is like "and this is how you use magical properties of certain stones, sigils, planets, and daemons to heal yourself" and other normal things like that. (He broadly fits into the mode of natural healing magic that was very common for the time - magic/medicine/science all being tangled together in the medieval and early modern period - however he does go a bit further than some. This is the book that got him into hot water with the Church.) Ficino was the son of a doctor and studied and practiced medicine so it makes sense he added medical texts to his repertoire.

I have version put out by The Renaissance Society of America: Renaissance Text Series with critical notes and introduction by Carol Kaske and John Clark.

High recommend, if only for the front notes and introduction. They do a great job positioning Ficino in the broader intellectual landscape of the time. They do a bit of attempting to track his education which wasn't as formal as one might think (he attended the University of Florence but I don't think he ever graduated. He was self-taught in many respects). They also get into what his thoughts on magic were and how they fit, or didn't fit, with the broader framework of faith and magical practices of Ficino's contemporaries.

In addition, they get into how his medical and magical thinking differs from others, where he was innovative, where he leaned on existing traditions, and the repercussions of having published this text.

---

The Bookseller of Florence - Ross King - this is a great, vey accessible book. It uses Vespasiano's life, a contemporary of Ficino, as a lens through which to explore the manifold changes in manuscript/book creation and distribution that were happening over the course of the fifteenth century.

The book also weaves in the shifting intellectual, religious, and political movements and the big, and small, players that participated and influenced these changes. Naturally, Ficino makes appearances throughout and he is described delightfully.

But I highly recommend it as a means to get a backdrop of the intellectual and political world Ficino was born into and operated within. Also, there's fun gossip about people in it and that's always a plus.

An example of some humourous bits:

"Ficino was scholarly and pious, [Luigi] Pulci (known as Gigi) boisterously scandalous, famous for his insults, invective, and sarcastic humour; he also had an unblushing fondness for taverns, brothels, and black magic. He lived up to his surname (Pulci means "fleas")--a maddenly irritating parasite. As one Florentine frantically complained in a letter to Lorenzo [de' Medici], "Gigi is annoying, Gigi has a bad tongue, Gigi is crazy, Gigi is arrogant, Gigi spreads scandal, Gigi has a thousand faults." Ficino triumphed when Gigi wrote a series of sonnets scorning pilgrims, miracles, preachers, and the doctrine of the immortal soul--and, in doing so, Ficino declared, made himself "odious to God" [...]"

Phenomenal. None of them should ever change. Also just the mental image of this pissed off Florentine frantically writing to Lorenzo "Get this man OUT of our City or so help me God!!"

---

Friend to Mankind: Marsilio Ficino - editor Michael Shepherd - ok so this is an essay collection that is really hit and miss. More misses than hits, now that I'm looking at it. I wouldn't recommend going out of your way for it, but if you see it in like a bargain bin or something it's worth picking up.

That said, there are a few essays in it that are worth finding, if you can:

"Fellow Philosophers," Linda Proud (this one is Great if you want the hilarious hot gossip of Pico Della Mirandola, Poliziano, and Ficino squabbling over Plato's concepts of Love. Well, Pico and Ficino cat-fight over it, if in a loving fashion. Poliziano eats popcorn and laughs.)

"In Praise of the One - Marsilio Ficino and Advaita," Arthur Farndell

"Ficino and Astrology," Geoffrey Pearce

"Ficino on the Nature of Love and the Beautiful," Joseph Milne

---

On the Nature of Love: Ficino on Plato's Symposium - translation by Arthur Farndell

It is 100% worth reading Ficino's commentaries on Plato's Symposium if only because I am convinced he wrote the entire thing as a love letter to Giovanni Cavalcanti.

---

Marsilio Ficino and His World - Sophia Howlett - if you can find this at the local library or used somewhere and it's not $150 I recommend it. This is the overview book that I think you're after that doesn't really exist in English, aside from here.

---

Marsilio Ficino: His Theology, His Philosophy, His Legacy - editors Michael Allen and Valery Rees - This is another expensive one, sitting around $250/$300 - but I've read excerpts from it and all that I have read is amazing.

It's an essay collection covering his thoughts on Hermeticism, Plotinus, the soul and primacy of will, musical therapy (Ficino was very keen on musical therapy), Jewish concepts of the prisca theologia, the 15th c. Plato-Aristotle controversy among other philosophical items. There are also essays exploring his influence on art, thinkers, and writers both in his own lifetime as well as throughout history.

---

Plato's Persona: Marsilio Ficino, Renaissance Humanism, and Platonic Traditions - Denis Robichaud - I just spent too much money and bought this book. Will report back as I read it - however, based on the excerpts I read online, I'm super stoked.

Robichoud seems to be exploring how Ficino wrote and created his sense of self through interpretation of Platonic writings and thought. There's lots of stuff about how Ficino interacts with Plato and interprets and understands himself as, like, Plato's "spokesperson" if not a full extension of Plato himself.

---

I hope this helps! Ficino's such a weird little man and I love him. I hope you enjoy going down the rabbit hole as much as I have - and I'm always here to talk Ficino, or anything early modern Italy really. <3 <3

[bbqhooligan]

I'm cis so I'm not sure if my opinion on this song matter that much,but I'll share my opinion since u asked

Personally I really like how genuine and raw this song is,it's not k. just saying "trans rights" on mic but rather sharing his experience and how queer ppl affected his life and how he affected them. Him misgendering his relatives,the deadnaming and usage f slur made me feel uneasy bcs how real it is,and I think it's really important how triggering and uncomfortable this song,afterall this song is man realizing his wrongdoings since elementary school and how he hurt his closed ones,and him finally standing up for them even if it means going against religion. And I really like how he humanized his family members,like his uncle being cool guy and looking up to him or his cousin playing w barbies and still going to church despite her coming out. It's just really good imo.

Also I live in homophobic and religious house hold and man,the "The day I choose humanity over religion" got me crying for hour. It's just hit me right in heart and got me fucked up.

Sorry if this ask is a mess,I have a lot of thoughts abt this song and English isn't my first language

no need to apologize, lovely ask! you might be more articulate than i am lol. and yeah kendrick never spoonfeeds information, its always deeply personal and touching, he would never take the easy road to say something and this songs existence in hiphop and kendricks dominance in hiphop, both bring me joy. im so happy it exists. every time someone chooses humanity over religion, over stubbornly held beliefs, over old grievances, old prejudice, we are better off for it collectively

[whats-a-human]

Sharing my personal color magick, let's go! I'm still learning and making my own meanings and stuff

BLACK - casts or banishes suffering. Associated with boundaries, thresholds, mirrors, doors, windows, privacy, secrets, grief and nighttime.

SILVER - connected to dreams, storms, the unknown or unseen, the moon, enchanting, altered states of consciousness, protection and the element of air.

WHITE - a blank canvas to build upon; purity, renewal, cleansing, new beginnings, letting go.

POMEGRANATE - just a shade of red for many, but very meaningful to me. A kinda rosy-red, not too dark. Connected to virility, memory/remembrance and a passion that remains "calm and collected" unlike traditional red's.

CRIMSON - blood, aggression, fear, intrusive thoughts, anger, impulses and urges and things specifically connected to mental illnesses. Can help confronting these issues, and it's not a standalone for negativity, either.

RED - passion, sexuality and romance, vitality, health, honor, the element fire and being motivated or wakeful.

PINK - gentle love and self-care, playfulness and friendship, nurturing, forgiveness, healing.

PEACH - a color that's gained popularity recently, for sure. A shade of reddish-orange, usually very light or pastel; I associate it with innovation, beauty, comfort and acceptance.

BROWN - very underrated! It means connection to humans, non-human beings and the environment; compassion, endurance (like a tree) and also connection to the (or your own) past.

ORANGE - means creativity, energy, improving your skills and learning new ones, and thinking outside the box.

HONEY - a mix of orange and yellow, also called amber. I link it to healthy productivity, perseverance, stability and hope.

YELLOW - joy of course, ecstasy, daytime, bravery, extroversion, giving or getting blessings, and wealth.

WHEAT - an ashy, beige shade of yellow. It means sacredness to me in a pagan way, the way nature is sacred. Think about it: if it was built upon human morality plants wouldn't be alive, predation and parasitism wouldn't exist, death wouldn't exist and animals would talk. It's hard to think of good and bad in a non-human way, even with basic things like self/species preservation. Anyways, it's a feeling of being sacredly powerful or witnessing a sacred power, all within a non-anthropocentric world. Does that make sense? (Does it need to?) lol

GREEN - growth, fertility, plant magick along with brown, deep intimacy with the self or something/someone else, cultivating virtues and the earth element.

BLUE - tranquility, peace, harmony, protection, rest, bodies of water, the sky, and the water element.

PURPLE - intuition, wisdom, independence, understanding (both with yourself and with others).

LAVENDER - sadness, vulnerability, tranquility as well, and the aftermath of catharsis (like the state you're in after crying), loss (but not grieving), endings and closure.

MAGENTA - pride, nostalgia, success, friendship just like pink, and queerness yeahh :))

[subzeroparade]

Creeping into your inbox with the great joy that we have such similar taste in horror! I was wondering what your favourite horror movies/shows/books are? I'm always on the lookout for more stuff :D

Oh! Well. *◡*

Some off the top of my head (shoving this under a cut for the long, rambling opinions in which I hope you find something useful). 

Movies: My current, contemporary favourite is definitely The Witch. It’s peak everything - period-piece, atmosphere, folklore/religious horror - everything I love. Absolute masterwork of minimalist horror.

As for what’s stuck with me, The Mist - took it like a fist to the face and still think about it all the time. There’ve been some other decent religious/folky horror stuff I’ve like over the past few years - Let the Right One In (book and movie both) The Omen (excellent buildup) and more recently Antlers (doubles as a monster movie), because I am obsessed with Wendigo lore. I know they’re kinda spoopy now but when I was a tween I was also a big sucker for The Village and Signs, ha. Again, mostly for the atmospheric buildup of dread, and The Village for its evocation of folksy, Puritanical horror. 

I’m a sucker for some monster movies as well, even semi-trashy ones like Cloverfield. I love the big monster-reveal moment. Prometheus, for the same reason. More interestingly, The Host (which is Korean) but adjacent to that are some of the classic Japanese horrors like Ring and the Grudge, especially The Grudge - both versions - which changed me forever. 

Series: Midnight Mass (just a Bloodborne modern AU honestly) has some interesting ideas on life after death, and Hamish Linklater’s performance is to die for. I’ve watched it twice and loved it both times. Archive 81 for the spooky ancient-god/slow burn dread. Huge fan of The Terror series which I think you know (I love Jared Harris, the best modern-day Cassandra if you take Chernobyl into account, and nice to see Tobias Menzies playing someone way less pathetic than Edmure in Game of Thrones lol). The book is a little more dry but still good, and I just started the series’ second season (Infamy) and love it already.

 Also worth mentioning a French series called Zone blanche (translated as Black Spot of Netflix), a little under the radar, which was great. Very much the subtle “the forest is a dark place beyond human understanding” vibe. I’m actively still going through Del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities but enjoying the variety of episodes so far: "The Outsider" (which frankly I just read as a queer/lesbian awakening story) and "Pickman’s Model" in particular (cannot avoid Lovecraft lmao, I’m so sorry). 

I don’t know if I can add the absolute incontrovertible masterwork that is Dark here, though it has some very, very itty bitty inconsequential minor horror elements. But I will watch it again and again until I die. 

In addition, some looser, genre-defying or multi-genre “horror” works like Get Out, Attack the Block, and the Southern Reach Trilogy (book only, the movie just couldn’t capture the peak high concept eldritch horror).  I would add the recent film The Wonder to that which has very subtle religious horror elements but is not supernatural whatsoever. I adored it. 

For books, any goddamn thing by Joyce Carol Oates but especially "Poe Posthumous; or, the Light-House" as I’ve made abundantly clear already; also I’m currently going through this excellent treasure trove of short horror stories collected in this post here (there is a second list somewhere too, if I recall, and they are even sorted by sub-category!) 

At the top of my must-watch list is Lamb right now, and eventually The Ritual and Midsommar, as well as The Lighthouse for obvious reasons. Any other recs are always welcome! I took two classes in CEGEP on Gothic lit and horror films and learned, fundamentally, that the horror genre is an incredibly useful and dynamic way to chart humanity’s anxieties over the past two centuries or so. (Dr Kris Woofter if you are still out there, you absolute hero, those were the greatest classes of my then-short academic life and I carry them with me always; or tucked neatly under my floorboards, where they writhe and groan ominously.) 

[c1028h]

fighting games thoughts

so im writing this waiting for my bus to go to work but I just don't really have anyone to dump my current obsessions so I'm just gonna write here instead. a few months ago I stumbled upon a tiktok video of the game guilty gear strive, but I didn't pay much attention except the fact that the game had some really interesting characters. now, fighting games were always a part of my life, it was a way of connecting with my father since he really enjoyed them too, a few that really stood out in my childhood were killer instinct, mortal kombat (a bunch of them, but mainly the ps3 one),

street fighter, the teen titans game on the cartoon network website, anyway, I loved them. but sometime in my life I stopped playing them and forgot about it, I always saw people playing mortal kombat when the 10 released, and then when the 11 released, but it never sparkled the joy in my to play again (also this thing was expensive as fuck). a few weeks ago I stumbled upon guilty gear strive again on my tiktok, but this time since I'm working I actually have the founds to afford a game on steam lol. I looked it up about some fighting games and got interested in a few of them.. guitly gear strive, tekken 7 and street fighter 5 or 6. now, even though street fighter has some characters I really loved like chunli, cammy, menat, juri, vega, it didn't really sparked anything in me.. tekken at the time was a little strange to me since the game is in 3d and the characters kinda looked like the sims ngl, so the option i had was guilty gear strive, it had some characters I thought it looked cool like bridget, testament, i-no, axl, anji, zato-1, may, anyway, you get the point, the game was also in 2d, which was a little more comfortable to me since all the experience I had was in 2d games, it had a big community of people that could teach me and play with me, so I bought that, the expanded editions to be fancy~. the game is really fun, it has some really cool machanics and its making me see fighting games in a way I never did before, all I did before was smash as much buttons as I could and hope my opponent didn't smashed the buttons before me, but now I'm starting to understand the fundamentals.. blocking, punishing, countering, frame data and all of that, I'm not good by any means, actually I started the online part at floor 6 and now im in floor 3, but thats part of the process I guess.. the problem is, I didn't stopped searching about other fighting games, and that made me regret a bit not buying tekken 7, the community was a lot bigger, it had characters that looked cool but not in a supernatural way, in a normal fighting way, like xiaoyu, lili, leo, katarina, asuka, eddy, hwoarang, lee, zafina, anyway, the list was gigantic, so after a week of debating if I should buy tekken or not I bought it, yesterday.. I didn't had any time at all to play since im in the end of my semester and working everyday on the afternoon (I'm fucking exhausted).. (I did a pause on writing, this is two nights after I started), so.. like I said I bought tekken 7 to try out since the idea of playing was really cool, and it is really cool, but like I said I don't have any fucking time ri3848u83.. but my semester is now ending and im a little free, so I'm using this time that I have to play Yakuza 0 and guilty gear strive, today I started playing with milia rage and I'm kinda obsessed.. a woman that can fight with her hair? that's peak pop diva queer icon to me.. she's like madonna of fighting games tbh.. I'm now really invested in playing more games, I bought the Yakuza collection on gog cause it was extremely cheap and mortal kombat x + 11 at 90% discount, gotta make the pennies I got as a salary count, after that I wanna play resident evil, I used to play re4 with my cousin he was kinda obsessed so we would play a whole weekend of re4 and tony hawk's lol.. I also wanna play devil may cry which is I game I used to own but never played.. anyway I just wanted to dump all these ideas somewhere and thought maybe this is the most appropriate place? I guess..

[lemonysnicket]

sage, nutmeg, and taro?

hi sunnyyY!!!

sage -> what ‘medium’ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

oh boy oh boy... for me it's always music or paintings! music is always emotionally moving but every once in a while there will be a melody that just. Floors me. but also... certain paintings make my chest hurt with how they make me feel. the fun part of going to museums is seeing beautiful things and enjoying the stay but then... every once in a while you'll see a painting that just Hits. i have a few ive taken photos of over the years, but also literally nothing compares to seeing them in person. it's that feeling i get staring at the canvas that completely overwhelms me i wish i could capture it. i remember in the dreamer trilogy declan is looking at a blank gray painting and says something like "it just makes me want to goddamn cry" and he's so real for that i feel it every day. here are a few! i wish i remembered their titles or artists,,,

this one is the most tender depiction of queer love i've ever seen. the faces, the colors, the brush strokes and the way it fades off into abstraction... there's so much love in this painting i could cry

this one is by the same artist as the first! genuinely i got lost in this painting. i wish photos could capture it but this took up a whole wall and i couldn't stop looking at it. the colors, the detail on the faces and the abstraction everywhere else, the movement... had i not been with someone on this museum trip i could've sat looking at this painting all day.

now, this one... this one left me overcome with a feeling i genuinely cannot find the words to describe. i just can't quite put my finger on it, but it overwhelmed me with something . my chest hurt looking at it. the title of this painting was "painting for my dad" and the title and the black void of the painting were already so touching for me but someone had left a bouquet by it who knows how long ago, and all of that combined just Floored me

i don't really know what it is about this one - it's just bizarre and there are just these flat colors and these vertical trees and spindly lines that make me feel Something. idk. i just remember i couldn't stop staring at it

god i wish my phone camera could capture the beauty of oil paints - you can see how gorgeous this work is but you can't truly experience its beauty because it looked like she was glowing. her eyes had this luscious sparkle to them, and something about the painting had me transfixed. i walked around the rest of the museum with my family and i ended up wandering back to her on my own because i just could not stop looking at her. i fell in love with this painting and the woman in it for those few hours

r. c. gorman's works always make me feel a certain sort of way. the flatness and the abstract planes of the desert and the beautiful colors always create such a specific vibe and atmosphere that leaves me breathless

okay wow i went on a tangent! back to the actual questions lol

nutmeg -> how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

oooh!! ok so my room is quite a mess because i shared it for ages so there is way too much furniture and stuff in there and none of it matches or is cohesive. HOWEVER i do have one little section that is my absolute pride and joy. i have this old antique wooden dresser with this dark wood and this attached scuffed old mirror that's just gorgeous . i love it so much. i covered it with a little lace doily thing and an assorted collection of rocks i've picked up from rivers and beaches. there's a salt lamp on it, too, and a whole bunch of candles. i also have an adjacent section of wall i've decorated with post cards from art museums, so there are little art pieces next to it :3 while the rest of my room is not really that cute and doesn't share this theme, i do have a style that's very antique inspired

taro -> if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

oooooh! i would probably tell them about how i've picked up guitar lately, how i'm learning a few adrianne lenker songs and i've learned the bug collector. i'd probably also talk about how i've gotten back into rp and i've been writing and brainrotting with friends. or my incoming academic stress, lol

[liaroflesbos]

Book ask game cribbed from @sixth-light

1) Last book I read:

Last thing I've finished was the collection Queer Little Monsters edited by David Ly and Daniel Zomparelli. It was definitely enjoyable, some good weird shit in there that I'm still mulling over. I particularly like Hiromi Goto's short story, "And The Moon Spun Round Like a Top"

2) A book I recommend:

Oh, probably The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Adison if you haven't read it. I have read it.... so much.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Hmmmm I actually do this a couple times a year, where I keep reading until I finish. I'm pretty sure I did it mostly recently with Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez, a book I really super enjoyed.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more)

I'm constantly rereading and relistening to things, especially because I have space for it while I work at my job. Right now I'm relistening to Seasparrow by Kristin Cashore, the most recent of her Seven Kingdoms books... which I think the series has a new name now that there are like 11/12 kingdoms lol

5) A book on my TBR

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez. I heard he's an underated author and I'm psyched to check him out!

6) A book I’ve put down

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dosteovesky. I'll finish it one day, it was just long and giving me a headache

7) A book on my wish list

What's the difference between a TBR and a wishlist? If it's something I wished I owned, I would like to buy Textual Poachers. I keep looking in used bookstores to find fan studies texts after I got Enterprising Women at one, but so far no luck.

8) A favourite book from childhood

Well, the first fic I wrote was for the Charlie Bone series, which I read A Lot. Oh, I also loved this book called True Talents by David Lubar? Both of them very much about kids how had some special talents but were still caught in the grindstone of hostile adult institutions.

9) A book you would give a friend

Also agree with sixth-light--all book gifts are heavily personalized for the person I'm giving it to, that's the joy of a book gift: an attempt to discern exactly what they might like and to find it. That being said, I might go with Howl's Moving Castle or maybe Swordheart

10) The most books you own by a single author

I would say I don't own very many books right now, but it's getting up there again. Not a lot by the same author though. Not counting comics (probably I have the most Chuck Dixon? I have a lot of 90s Batman stuff), it's probably manga from Jun Mochizuki, between Pandora Hearts and Vanitas.

11) A nonfiction book you own

Just yesterday I bought Black Superheroes, Milestone Comics, and their Fans by Jeffrey A Brown at the used bookstore. I'm excited to try it!

12) what are you currently reading

I switch between a couple formats of books at once depending on where I am and what I'm doing. Right now I'm reading on ebook Hearts of Atlantis by Stephen King, listening to Doppleganger by Naomi Klein on audiobook, and reading the collection Broken Stars translated and edited by Ken Liu on the trains and such. Oh, also trying to finish Bacchus Volume 1

13) what are you planning on reading next?

Oh, my book club book for next month is School for Good Mothers--the theme was Philly. I have Beautyland by Marie-Helene Bertino out on ebook right now, and next time I head to the library I want Akira Volume 2.

[aetheros]

I virtually attended a church sermon today. I feel a little weird about it bc I’m not Christian and I have a huge problem with their god and I’m surrounded by corrupt ones that don’t follow their own teachings whatsoever and spread hatred. But after research and curiosity, I wanted to see what a Unitarian church was about. More about community than a closed religion. There’s a church here but it’s kinda far away and it’s at 10:30am and I don’t really do mornings before 11 soooo… I only made it today for their livestream bc I woke up at 10:30 on the dot lol.

It was unlike any other sermon I’d ever attended. The others were just priests shouting at us calling us sinners and blaming everything on the devil. 😑 This one? Multiple people stood at the altar with announcements, talks of joy, they talked about Diwali and Hinduism. There were hymns that shared from multiple religions to treat others the way you want to be treated, something I was told relentlessly growing up while the ones who told me treated everyone with malice. Optional collections for a resource centre I worked at years ago that helps the homeless. There were hymns from the choir that were recently sang by the people of Israel and Palestine to stop the wars. People made clay lamps during the service for Diwali (even though it’s several weeks late iirc?), there was a rangoli. They reminded everyone of Pagan holidays and Jewish holidays and Muslim holidays. There was a meditation. They welcome everyone—atheist, agnostic, Christian, pagan, another religion, queer, BIPOC, etc. It was beautiful.

I’ve always been open to all religions, just not part of them. I’ve gone from being forced into corrupt “Christianity” from 3-14 by an evil mother, to questioning agnostic angry at Christianity, to Wiccan, to Pagan, to questioning agnostic, to Satanist, to questioning agnostic/atheist. But considering this church isn’t down your throat “You’re bad, you’re the problem, I personally hate the queer community bc I’m a piece of shit rwinger therefore I’m going to use my genocidal god as an excuse to be a cunt even tho Jesus loves everyone” bigoted nonsense… and more about community and spreading genuine love… idk I might show up next Sunday too. It’s a peaceful hour out of my rotten week.

[outrunningthedark]

How are you this fine morning? Just wanted to say again how much I appreciate your ray-of-light blog. (It also helped me see I've been doing a good job curating my dash because I didn't see any of the negativity, just people complaining about the negativity lol. Eddie is moving to texas?? Like where on EARTH did that come from?)

For the sake of everybody's nervous systems, I hope folks can just let themselves enjoy this ride we are on, can allow themselves to continue to be surprised and delighted. Instead of locked in to an expectation (or hopelessness!) that basically guarantees misery. Queer trauma is real and we'll do all kinds of things to protect ourselves from the pain of inevitable disappointment. But, selfishly, I have so appreciated the collective joy and elation of this past week (at poor eddie being shot, we are so sick...) and hope it continues.

I don't know about you, love, but my day was going just fine until some teenage girl decided to start shit on Twitter! 😑 (I honestly wish someone in Oliver's camp would teach him how to utilize the block button. His social media experience would be so much more pleasant.) This season's been lackluster for me (A*a and T*ylor's resurgence has put fandom heteronormativity on display...), but one of the things I have thoroughly enjoyed is being SURPRISED by each and every Buddie interaction/detail because we genuinely have no idea what's coming every week. The highlights: ✨ "Eddie and Hen went back to their kids months ago." I'M SORRY. WHAT. THEY WERE ROOMATES??? AND WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT??? WHERE DID EDDIE SLEEP??? ✨ When Eddie came to stand next to Buck against the firetruck as Buck was checking his phone ✨ "Hey, at least it's not a tsunami. Right?" LISTEN!!! I AM GOING TO KEEP YELLING ABOUT EDDIE TRYING TO MAKE LIGHT OF SUCH A TRAUMATIC EVENT BECAUSE HE KNOWS BUCK STILL FEELS GUILTY ABOUT LOSING CHRIS!!! ✨ Eddie making sure Buck's rope is secure 😍 "This is Diaz. Be advised, Buck's about to touch down." THE WAY A LINE LIKE THIS WILL MAKE ME SCREAM WHEN THEY'RE CANON, THOUGH??? WHAT IF EDDIE CALLS HIM SOMETHING ELSE??? ✨ Remember when Buck was being sent in to help Chim with the girl in labor and he's telling Eddie what the plan is? "Copy that. You ready?" It's such a *small* moment, but Eddie making sure Buck is good to go is EVERYTHING. ✨ THE DAMN SOLAR SYSTEM MOBILE HANGING FROM CHRISTOPHER'S CEILING ALL OF THE SUDDEN??? WHAT IS THAT ABOUT??? ✨ THE REALIZATION THAT EDDIE MADE SURE BUCK WAS PART OF CHRISTOPHER'S QUARANTINE BUBBLE ✨ FAMILY GAME NIGHT!!! Christopher asking Buck to go to his apartment to play video games!!! Eddie giving Buck the "try me" stare!!! ✨ Eddie "I can know weird stuff, too" Diaz is my favorite Eddie Diaz, bye. HE LISTENS TO BUCK. HE TRIES TO LEARN NEW THINGS. ✨ Christopher and his (other) dad conspiring to buy Eddie a Hildy - "We got him." "Thanks, Buck." 🤭 ✨ “Just gonna be you and me.”  “Her? You’re going with her?” Buck, sweetie, I’m so sorry he did that you! ✨ “You did not build [Christopher] a skateboard.” // “Yeah, well. Buck helped.” HE JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE SHE KNEW. ✨ “I think we’re gonna go to my parents in El Paso to eat.” DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS??? WHY MUST THEY TORTURE US WITH THESE UNNECESSARY DETAILS??? ✨ “For the love of God, please follow Buck back on insta.” SUCH A GOOD HUSBAND. JUST WANTS TO MAKE BUCK HAPPY. ✨ Cagney and Lacey are on the case 🧐 ✨ Eddie telling Bobby Buck is on the phone with Dr. Copeland because he has to work on “de-escalation techniques.”  ✨ “Maybe Chimney needs to stop talking to him. Could set him off. *awkward pause* Sorry. Bad choice of words.” Forever curious why Buck is the only character (so far) to acknowledge Eddie’s PTSD??? ✨ Eddie validating Buck’s feelings after the meeting with his parents and placing his hand on the punching bag because he knows Buck won’t hit him 😭 ✨ “Defective parts, as it turned out.” // “Hey, that’s not on you.” EDDIE WILL NOT LET HIS HUSBAND TALK ABOUT HIMSELF LIKE THAT. ✨ “Show-off.” // “I had to do it.” // “I know you did.” (That’s Eddie’s version of “I love you”, for the record.) ✨ “I’m sorry, what was that?” // “Check.” OKAY, HUSBANDS! WE SEE YOU! ✨ “Still not sure what inspired the software update.” EDDIE LOVES BUCK JUST THE WAY HE IS, THANK YOU. ✨ “You’re allowed to give yourself some time, you know. To process.” Buck might be willing to forgive his parents, but Eddie? Eddie thinks they don’t deserve his love. At least not right then.  ✨ The hubbies laughing about the clowns and Eddie stopping himself from touching Buck 👀 (Still curious as to if that was in the script or Ryan went “my bad!”) ✨ “IT’S LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS SCREAMING AT YOU AND YOU REFUSE TO LISTEN.” ✨ I gotta shout out Mama Hen for everyone’s *other* favorite line from Jinx - “Ana who?”  Okay, I’ll stop there before I bore y’all to tears. ALL OF THIS RIGHT HERE? Happened in the first SIX EPISODES (including the crossover) and we knew NOTHING about ANY OF IT. I’m not gonna tell anyone how to feel about the possibility of canon!Buddie, but I hope that this post has helped you realize the unknown is what has made season 4 so special to us. 💖

[joi-in-the-tardis]

AO3 Writers Tag Game

Tagged by: @whovianfloozy Thank you for thinking of me! :D

How many works do you have on AO3? 56

What is your total AO3 wordcount? 103,363

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Two on AO3- Doctor Who and Good Omens. But I've also written for Star Trek, Star Trek Voyager, The X-Files, and The Dresden Files (book series) in other places or never published them.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Soft to My Edges, Lockdown Voicemails, Mine, Rest Now, Collecting a Demon

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? I do, though I confess sometimes it takes a little while! I want people to know I appreciate that extra effort they put in to let me know they enjoyed my stories. Honestly, seeing a comment makes my day. What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. There might be tension in the middle of a story, but it is always resolved by the end. Joi is a certified fluff writer. Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? I have never published a crossover, but one fateful NaNoWriMo I did take my original characters and plop them on board the Enterprise with Star Trek TNG characters because I was frustrated with my story. And it helped! Troi helped me learn things about my antagonist. Of course, once I got to better understand his motivations, I stalled again because I didn't want to kill him. Oops.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I have not, thankfully. And, as an ace writer, I know this can happen.

Do you write smut? If so what kind? I do. I write fluffy smut. Occasionally it strays into very light kinky-fluffy smut.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of... Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet, but I've have had an offer and considered it. My problem is I barely have the confidence to publish a story let alone share the writing experience with someone else.

What’s your all-time favourite ship? That's not really a fair question. It begs me to say whatever is my current fixation. But I have loved every one of my ships with my whole heart. Mulder/Scully brought me into fandom. Janeway/Chakotay made fandom into a home that I could decorate to suit my tastes. Dresden/Murphy taught me that I can write my own stories, even if the plot is wonky or non-existant. Kirk/Spock showed me how deeply I could burrow into a ship and how diverse/multi-generational fandom can be. Being a Doctor/Multi-shipper taught me things about myself and gained me friendships that I treasure. Aziraphale/Crowley is the queer gift that fuels me.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? I'm not sure if I ever wrote down any of my X-Files fic or if I just daydreamed a lot. I know I wrote for Star Trek Voyager and published a couple things. Yes, I still have printed versions of them in my possession. No, I will not share them. lol

What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? I'm going to cheat a little and instead of picking an individual story I'll say: Too Many Beds Series Not only is it the longest thing I've published (collectively, just over 32k), but I was delighted to find that my readers enjoyed my original characters as much as I did. I don't think the sequel would've come about without that encouragement.

tagging: @onthedriftinthetardis @skyler10fic @wordsintimeandspace @flyingjemsaucer and anyone else that wants to play- tag me so I can see!

AO3 Writers Tag Game Outline for copy/paste ease of play:

Tagged by:    Thank you! How many works do you have on AO3? What is your total AO3 wordcount? How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Do you respond to comments, why or why not? What is the fic you’ve written with the Angstiest ending? Do you ever write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written? Have you ever received hate on a fic? Do you write smut? If so what kind? Have you ever had a fic stolen? Have you ever co-written a fic before? What’s your all-time favourite ship? What was the first fandom you wrote for? What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? tagging:

[gideongriddle]

1, 4, 6, 8, 17, 19, 20 😘

book you’ve reread the most times?

oh damn this is so hard!!! i don't reread as much as i used to as a kid, so probably most lifetime rereads goes to the wizard of oz by l. frank baum? but the book i've reread the most as an adult is probably pride & prejudice :')

what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

okay i'm using bookpeople as my roadmap, since it's the bookstore i frequent with the most discrete sections — my order of operations is staff recs and new releases at the front of the store, then sci-fi/fantasy, then horror, then general fiction, then historical fiction, then romance. and then, if i end up going upstairs, LGBTQIA+ books, then theatre, then YA. oh and sale books lol

what books have you read in the last month?

i JUST finished to love & to cherish by patricia gaffney (a really lovely vintage historical romance about an unhappily married woman and a vicar in a small english village. LOTS of yearning and angst but also surprisingly funny. i want to marry the heroine)! i also read drag: a history of female impersonation in the performing arts by roger baker (what it says on the tin; something i read to prep for a theatrical pitch), transgender history: the roots of today's revolution by susan stryker (a super accessible overview of trans history in the u.s.; reminded me how much joy i get out of reading queer historical non-fiction), peter darling by austin chant (trans peter pan retelling with a captain hook romance, magical in a way that reminded me fondly of silver in the wood by emily tesh), and book lovers by emily henry (okay i finally get the hype!!! such a loving homage to nora ephron, made me cry an embarrassing amount, i successfully read the whole book as if it was about lesbians)

what is the first book you remember reading yourself?

i can't think of a specific one tbh, but there is a great picture of me as a kid sitting in one of my dad's white comic book storage boxes (iykyk), valiantly pretending to read an issue of wonder woman, so probably a comic book??

top 5 children’s books?

oh god this makes me want to go over to my parents house and survey my old collection!! okay this is going to be a mix of children's and middle grade but: the wizard of oz series by l. frank baum, any and all beatrix potter, the artemis fowl series by eoin colfer, the ORIGINAL american girl historical book series (kaya, felicity, josefina, kirsten, addy, samantha, kit, and molly), and FROG AND TOAD babey

most disliked popular books?

i'm pretty good at avoiding books that i'm not likely to like, esp if they're being Talked About a lot?? but i was really surprised by how ambivalent i felt about before the coffee gets cold by toshikazu kawaguchi, when it was hyped so much on tiktok as being deeply moving. i couldn't tell how much of my issues with the prose were about the translation but i also just found it pretty dang predictable from a plotting pov. but idk about other popular books. OH WAIT i forgot i am a certified written in the stars by alexandria bellefleur hater!!!! the romance didn't work for me AT ALL and i find it deeply insulting that it's sold as p&p adjacent lol

what are things you look for in a book?

on the jacket, i'm looking for queerness and indications that the story is about people growing and changing and caring about each other (not that they have to be changing for the better!!! or in good relationships!! just i am not intrigued by apathy and isolation as themes) and also genre elements, especially magic and time fuckery. inside, i really want rich, intentional prose — too purely functional or too overwrought both bum me out

[juuls]

Juulna’s ‘Hold Onto Your Sanity’ Fic, Book, and Music Recs for the 2020 Dumpster Fire... Part 3!

So you just crash-landed behind enemy lines in a war you know barely anything about except that your role seems infinitesimal and insignificant, and dumped into a year, 2020, that already seems fifteen years too long.

Before you drown your sorrows in some fantastic scotch or wine coolers for days (or weeks)… I have a proposal.

That you step back from the flames, tune things out for a bit, and try to forget about the outside world for a while (but don’t forget to vote or I will be very sad at you!).

These fics are meant to take you out of your head (I’m including more plot/story-minded fics than PWP) for the next few weeks or months as the world goes to hell (even more) but of course there are some bits of solid angst in these as there is wont to be in many a fic. Check the tags, read responsibly, don’t like-don’t read, ship and let ship, and please do leave a kudos and maybe even a comment! :)

This is PART THREE.

Check out here for Part One and most of the Marvel fic recs, along with a selection of book recs too. :)

And here’s Part Two, which has the bulk of my Star Wars and Game of Thrones recs, along with Spotify playlists!

Part Three is this one here, all about the Potterverse.

(Not yet complete) Here’s Part Four, filled with even more shippy goodness from all over the Star Trek universe. So. Many. Ships. :D

(Not yet complete) Part Five is Witcher, Man From UNCLE, Stargate: Atlantis and SG-1, Sherlock, Hannibal, and Doctor Who.

(Not yet complete) Part Six will probably be all for my newfound love of Supergirl, along with some Game of Thrones and Marvel ships I skipped, because I gotta stop somewhere with all these recommendations or I’ll be at it forever. Seriously, how much of this stuff have I read!?

But I think we all need some distractions from the world these days, eh? Or something to console us other than internet rage and a barrel of ice cream and/or hard alcohol.

Potterverse

I’ve chosen to pick fics (mostly) off of AO3 for their easy reading access, though HP fics’ golden years were on sites like fanfiction.net and other independent archives like Sycophanthex and others which have closed their doors over the years, sadly. Some of these fics date back to almost 20 years old, or more, amazingly!

For fics on fanfiction.net, I highly recommend using this link (FicSave) to epub/mobi converter rather than dealing with the frustrating app. It functions like AO3′s built-in download button.

SSHG/Sevmione

Rec assistance by @perrydowning​

Second Life by Lariope

Phantom of Hogwarts by Good_Witch

Romancing the War by Pubella

The Poison Garden by turtle_wexler @turtlewexlerwrites

A Light in the Fog by turtle_wexler

Pride of Time by AnubisAnkh

The Savage by MagdatheMagpie

Snape’s Story by Tbird1965

Recognition by jezzie (krith)

Tedium of Time by oneredshoe

Tango by Desert_Sea

Sense and Insensibility by Desert_Sea

Time Mutable Immutable by Grooot

The Twenty by Leyna Rountree

For the Only Hope by ausland @run-with-me-to-the-sea

Bundle of Joy by LadyTuesday

Our Hands Tied by multilingualism

Choose Something Like A Star by TeddyRadiator

Mistress of the Stacks by Ms_Anthrop

A Derailed Train of Thought by Ms_Anthrop

Antiquities by stormcorona

Watch Over Me by @snapeslittleblackbuttons​

Dropped Down into the Unknown by @q-drew​

Delicate Transitions by @morbidmuch​

Lay Me Low by TeddyRadiator

The Savage by MagdatheMagpie

Another Dream by @dragoon811​

A Chance For Happiness by @corvusdraconis​

Breath of the Nundu by corvusdraconis, Dragon_and_the_Rose

Just to Be by Amarti @amarti-writes-stuff​

Hinge of Fate by Ramos

Forged in Flames by @mswhich​

Days in the Sun by bluespring864

Making sure the boy who lived, actually does by Hold_en @hold-enwrites​

The Problem With Purity by Phoenix.Writing

One Step Forward, Two Decades Back by corvusdraconis

The Headmaster’s Wife by Mrs_HH @propertyofseverustsnape

The Master, the Warden, the Headmaster, and the Deputy by mak5258

Cloak of Courage by Wendynat

Hermione Granger and the Intended Vessels by ShawnaCanon

Augury and Ardor by SnapeySnax

Before the Dawn by snarkyroxy

The Love You Take by Subversa

His Draught of Delicate Poison by Subversa

and sooooo many more if you want them just ask, this is both mine and Perry’s oldest ship lol

Gramander (Original Graves x Newt)

A Gilded Cage is Still a Cage by Anonymous

take a deep breath (and let it go) by lincesque @tumbloncat

Roar by @elenothar

Matchmaker, Matchmaker by @prosodiical

Dearly Beloved by prosodiical

Basic Instincts by @manic-intent

Promised by Miss_Lv

Plan G by Aate

Heat of the Chase by argentoswan @wannahearaboutmycats

Newt Scamander’s Guide to Getting Things Done by arthureameslove

Against all Odds by Maril

Where I Belong by Mishafied

He Wants To Say, “I Love You, Nothing Can Hurt You”  by @obsidionwingsofmidnight

Arranged by Miss_Lv

death of a bachelor by gudetama (elementary)

The Graves Identity by Mishafied

you make me feel this way somehow by gudetama (elementary)

The Nature of the Beast by AntiGravitas @absolutelynogravitaswhatsoever

The Knights, the Newt, and the Rose by @yinyangswings

The Wizard’s Cat by @natecchi

The Color of Boom by gypsiangel

Signalling Theory: Blue Coat by @obaewankenope​

Flame by @esamastation​

And The Tag Read Simply: “Pretty” by @funkzpiel​

Aren’t You Gonna Arrest Me, Officer? by JoyBurd

a little bit lost by shortbread @shortbread-fanfiction​

Dramione

Rec assistance by @cuthian​

Seven Times by kerri240879

Her Beauty and the Moonlight by BrilliantLady

The Fallout by everythursday (orphaned and only available on AO3 now, but complete)

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen

Turncoat by elizaye @imnotleavinherewithoutyou

The Virgin Conundrum by AkashaTheKitty @akashathekitty

Bad Faith by Morrighan256

Isolation by bexchan @bex-chan-blog

The Serpent, the Witch, and the Broom Closet by bitchywitchy

Silencio by AkashaTheKitty

All You Want by senlinyu @senlinyu

Static by galfoy @heymanticore

What the Room Requires by Alydia Rackham

And We All Fall Down by @rumaan

Ambition’s End by Hanako A

Wait and Hope by mightbewriting @mightbewriting

Rewriting Destiny by mayawrites95 (mayarox95)

Chronos Historia by In_Dreams @indreamsink

A Muggle-born Magic by Musyc @willhavetheirtrinkets

Hunted by Bex-chan

A Second Look by @riverwriter

The Nietzsche Classes by Beringae

This Too, Is Sacred by HeartOfAspen

Bite First, Ask Questions Later by Daredevilsinthedetails, Kaylessi

Nocturnus by In_Dreams @indreamsink

Broken by @inadaze22​

The Green Girl by Colubrina

Lady of the Lake by Colubrina

Rebuilding by Colubrina (really just anything written by @colubrina)

Presque Toujours Pur by @shayalonnie

Can’t Change the Way I Am by @nauticalparamour

Law and Marriage by DragonGrin (formerly TeenTypist)

The Tower Window by @xodramaqueenox​

Unexpected by Emara88

Something Old, Something New by Kate Dessi

Suppressed Emotions by hopelesslydevoted.xx 

Silver Blood by @freyaishtar

When the Day Met the Night by @bex-la-get

Harmony

A Marauder’s Plan by CatsAreCool (Rachel500)

A Step to the Right by CatsAreCool (Rachel500)

Eighth by lorien829

The Catalyst by lorien829

Harry Potter and the Isle of Mists by lorien829

Knife’s Edge by Celtic55

The Black Book by mosteveryonesmad

Awakening by SweetShireen

The Sword and the Snake by bartonfink1974

Dispelling the Silence by Indygodusk

One Year Later: Return to Hogwarts by Twilight’s Inferno

DraHarmony

Fourteen Thousand Galleons by @frumpologist

The Invitation by hot_elf @hot-elf

Love Love Love by MissELY @misselylux​

Changing Scenery by aethling

East of Eden by msmerlin @ms-merlinblack

Turn Back Time by Dazeventura6

Foxfire by @setissma

Come Together by @nuclearnik

The Soul of the Wolves by LR_Earl @fanficbylrearl

Running From Lions by tryslora @tryslora

An Unexpected Family by ladyroxanne21

The Prophecies by jamcreynolds

Drarhinny

Reconstruction by @aldersprig​

Fell From the Sky by BrandonStrayne @brandonstrayne​ (I really love this one, and not just as a Canadian.)

Demons From the Past by pottermum

Drarry

Rec assistance by @newtypeshadow​

Rarely Pure and Never Simple by birdsofshore

Aural Gratification by birdsofshore

Lost Among and Falling by @bafflinghaze

The Corruption Sequence series by beren @berenwrites

Sentinel ‘verse series by elyssblair @elyssblair-blog

Date Blindness by dysonrules

Starts With a Spin by Maxine @serasarahhhh​

Temptation on the Warfront by alizarincrimson

Paradigm by dysonrules

Here’s The Pencil, Make It Happen by ignatiustrout

Draco Sodding Malfoy by Shewhxmustnxtbenamed @shewhomustnotbenamed

Pieces of What by Jadwiga

Found, Not Lost by inspiration_assaulted

Shared Detention by DadIWriteGayPorn

Dirty Little Secret by Writcraft @writcraft​

19 Years by shilo1364 @whimsicaldragonette​

Morning Suns & Coffee Runs by laugh_a_latte @queer-coffee​

Reus Una by purplepen76

Between Ink and Blood by Candamira

Ginmione

Distractions by @morningsound15​ 

Cissamione

(This seems like it’s a bit cracky, but there’s some good ones, I promise! I sorta stumbled ass-backwards into this ship but really enjoy some of them.)

One Step Left by Cysteine @cysteine

Extinction by @rubikanon​

Blinding Light by @16-pennies​

Somebody Loved by beforeyouspeak

...

..

There. This is much better, isn’t it?

So my challenge to you, if your world is falling, burning down around you in flames... is this:

...if you feel yourself getting anxious or depressed, whether from the news or being cooped up in isolation or bored or on the verge of tearing your hair out or jumping off that roof or grabbing something to go after the dictator-of-the-week.... pause, take a breath, open up this rec list, close your eyes and pick something, and let chance take you somewhere hopefully far away. Let yourself be transported.

Oh, and don’t click on this Google Drive link. Really, there’s not 30+ GB of data on that Drive I’m sharing. Shame. There totally aren’t tens of thousands of books, as many audiobooks as could fit, and a large collection of fanfiction downloaded from AO3 in there. (Also, not all fics have been shared to that folder yet; I’m working on it a little at a time as I download more.)

[flying-elliska]

so we might be getting a trailer tomorrow ? here’s where I’m at :

honestly yeah, s5 disappointed me, after a great start, and those spoilers were weird. ever since s4 ended i took some distance from the show and I’m definitely less invested than i used to be. at the same time, that allowed me to realize that, in the end, it’s just a tv show, and it gave me so much joy, and i love these characters, so like. i’m just going to take s6 for what it is. and to be honest, the possibility of getting some Eliott POV, of seeing Lucas through Eliott’s eyes, and to have a wlw main with her own gf, all makes it worth it for me, and i’m kinda pumped again.

i might yell if it gets messy, i might laugh and like, mock their propension for unsubtle drama and missing chances and write fix it fic out of spite but like. i don’t want to get stuck in a negativity spiral. worst comes to worst i’ll stop really engaging too much with it. but i’m going in with a very yolo kind of mindset (aka You Only (get this) Last One (season)) so if i only get some tidbits i can use to my collection of cool and inspiring character moments, it will be ok too. and i’ll just ignore the bits i don’t like.

the fandom is gonna fandom too, i guess. i blocked most of the pure haters so i don’t really care, take care of yourselves. i just hope that at least some cool people will hang around so we might have a few last rounds of interesting meta and discussions and that the drama didn’t scare everyone away. and that they made a season that isn’t, you know, totally unwatchable lmao 

here are a few things i really hope to see :

- some meaty story on Lola and Daphné’s relationship. I find sisterly rivalries so interesting because they can get so venomous and yet so full of love at times (yeah i have a sister lmao) and complex and hateful and forgiving and supportive and etc...there is a lot of potential there

- and seeing more of Daphné’s private life, understanding her insecurities and perfectionist and people pleaser sides, as well as her lack of sensitivity sometimes, where it comes from, and how Lola maybe acts as an opposite of that (she gives me very rebellious ‘i don’t care what anyone thinks of me’ vibes)

- wlw main !!!! honestly i couldn’t get into skam es anymore about that whole panphobic mess (and i just was let down by the season in general) so i am so looking forward to this and the fact that she is getting an original story and not just a rethread of Evak 

- that gross kiss thing set aside, which i’m just blocking from my mind atm, I really think Eliott and Lola’s friendship has the potential to be so interesting and complex, with maybe a creative aspect and the whole shared queerness thing, and maybe something MI related

- if they do - and i think they will - adress Lucas’s insecurities, i hope that they will at least have a proper conversation about it and some real growth on both their parts 

- and i also hope that they found a way to give all the characters a proper send off even though it will be a bit difficult to handle, but i do feel like the last ep might be a bit more shared POV like the farm one (but this time it will feel more justified honestly) 

- and again, i hope that there will be some softness among the drama, esp for the queer relationships on the show, but like...not holding out too much for that. lol. ://////

anyway...yeah. please s6, don’t be shit. i’m rooting for you. 

[lalunafemme]

Personal Queer Archives + Mining The Archives A Workshop with Kimberly Drew at USC

Hey y’all! 2020 is here and one of my intentions is to WRITE MORE and document things more #onhere. I’ve had this site for a while and I’ve only averaged a post about 1-2 times a year. Pitiful..lol

Anyways, new year, new me amirite?

I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older (I’ll be 42 this year) or if it’s because of so many deaths lately that have hit close to home but I’ve really been thinking about the legacy that I’ll leave behind once I’ve transitioned into the ancestor realm. I think about how the story of legacy building for me feels a little complicated as someone who is currently not married and doesn’t have children and isn’t close to my bio family. Who will tell my stories, who will the stories of my life living as a free xicana fat femme matter to?

I listen to an amazing podcast (I listen to many, but that’s another post for another time) called /Queer and a few months ago, I was listening to the episode Visible Queerness: Queer Kinship & Chosen Family (which was amazing, you should go take a listen) and took the time to check out the multimedia gallery for the episode (HERE) and was just in awe of the beautiful pictures full of queer joy that accompanied the post. As I took the time to process the feelings, later that day I had a sadness wash over me. How much more impact would those pictures have had on me if they would have been of BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color)? The joy those pics brought me stayed in my soul and so did a little bit of emptiness. I’ve spoken to friends and online a bunch about leaving a legacy. It’s on my mind daily. I’m motivated by the words of Kim Katrin “We must leave evidence that we were here and we were loved” and use those words as a call to action to get my ass in GEAR. When I was setting my 2020 intentions, I put organizing my archive and figuring out what to do with it near the top of my list. Imagine my surprise when USC Visions and Voices announced a workshop WITH Kimberly Drew (aka museummammy) at the ONE Archives!!! I knew I had to be there. The workshop was billed for USC students and faculty only, however I sent an email to the organizers to see if they would allow me to attend as a community member (because in 2020 we’re not letting ourselves get in our way and we’re letting other people tell us no rather than us tell us no!) and they emailed me inviting me to the workshop (yay!).

in the workshop, we were able to go through some pre-selected items and it was such an amazing thing to be able to see these objects up close. As someone who just came out of a huge de-cluttering spree of my space, I understand that there’s such a thing line/space between hoarding and the importance of items being preserved for archival purposes. I believe it’s truly the intention. I learned lots at the workshop on how quotidian things can also tell so much of our stories after we’re no longer here. There was a collection where there was a box of things that wouldn’t necessarily be coded as “queer” by the outside world but if you knew, you knew. It gave me a cool peek into some of the things I should be saving for my own archive. It was such a nice morning filed with items from queer folks who are mostly no longer here. I’m thankful for their foresight in thinking of gifting the items from their life to the archive. Seeing these items up close really allowed me to face the reality that our lives matter. Kimberly mentioned at the workshop that she’s always excited and looking for “archives of the unremarkable” and that made me think of how the lives of those of us that aren’t '“queer famous” will be remembered and how it really is important to get items into the archives that depict our quotidian yet full and beautiful lives. Legacy building. We matter and some queer bb in the future will be able to connect with the life we lived and/or see it as a possibility model for their own future.

I’m excited to report that at the workshop, I met an archivist who offered some support in helping me get my archive together/organized. Looking forward to adding more fat femmes of color to the mix! If you’re queer, what is the legacy you’re hoping to leave behind? What actions are you taking now to ensure that legacy is preserved?

Check out some pics below from my time at ONE for the workshop. ONE Archives is open to the public, however it isn’t a lending institution. Check out more info on visiting the archive HERE.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [as you said he encouraged her to gatecrash, I figure it makes sense he'd check in on that after the posts, Amelia called JJ lol] Jesse: 👍? Jac: 🖕 Jesse: ☕? Jac: no I feel sick Jesse: [brings her a glass of water and tablets but like puts them on her bedside table and then leaves] Jac: you're just as bad Jesse: as bad as? Jac: her Jac: don't try be nice Jesse: 🖕 Jesse: Alright? Jac: 🙄 Jac: no that was so halfhearted Jesse: it weren't only you who had a late one Jac: then don't bother Jesse: nice try, dickhead Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: i'm not in a gossiping mood Jesse: the walls ain't that thick Jac: just your head Jac: gotcha Jesse: Must be a family thing you inherited as well as Jac: if I can blame all of you Jac: fine by me Jesse: crack on Jesse: I hope it makes you feel loads better Jac: your fake sympathy is only marginally better than your real but solid attempt Jesse: you didn't want tea, they go together Jac: hence I declined Jac: don't feel sorry for me, twat Jesse: I don't Jesse: Amelia on the other hand Jac: you can go commiserate with her then Jac: she needs some new gay friends Jesse: I don't fit the bill then and she don't wanna hear from me how shit her girlfriend is Jac: She's well aware, don't worry Jac: beat you to it Jesse: Yeah, the comments tell the story, like Jesse: and a 📷's worth loads of words Jac: it was meant to be blatant Jac: no 🍪 for working it out Jesse: just 🏆🥇 for you Jac: naturally Jac: why else would I go Jesse: 'Cause you miss her Jesse: you were mates and it was her birthday Jesse: Dunno, there's 2 💡s Jac: Ha Jac: you ask her how much love she's feeling now Jac: I wanted her to have a shit time and she did, mission accomplished Jesse: You're alright, tah, that's blatant an' all Jac: yeah, no need to act like you're that thick now you ain't in the dark Jesse: nah, the act's all yours Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: yeah, I'm acting like a cunt, I'm a really, really nice person actually Jac: literally as bad as her Jesse: We're all wrong and you're right Jesse: 🏆🥇 Jac: no shit Jac: gotta suck Jesse: I'll live Jac: thrilled for you, Jess Jesse: 👍 Jesse: Good talk Jac: the fact you expected anything else is on you Jac: you go apologize to her, you'll feel better Jesse: It was her who fought your battles for you, nowt to do with me Jac: you told me to go Jesse: To make up with her, you twat Jac: and why did you think I'd ever do that? Jac: what kind of fucking fantasy land are you living in Jesse: I thought she might get through to you Jesse: that kinda fantasy land Jac: 😂 Jesse: it ain't much of a laugh but alright Jac: not to you Jesse: you ain't laughing either Jac: I can if you want Jac: rather I was crying but nah Jesse: Piss off, your vocal chords don't work any more Jac: So? Jac: that's got fuck all to do with missing Amelia, I'm so sorry Jesse: Never said it did Jac: you thought it did Jac: as fucking if Jesse: I thought she could help you, nowt else Jesse: giving her too much credit Jac: unlucky Jesse: 💔 Jac: I don't need any help Jac: and you should give the fuck up Jesse: I don't play 🎻 Jesse: you might as well shut up Jac: I already have, dipshit Jesse: Stop typing playground insults at me then Jac: Go away then Jac: you've achieved nothing, and you're not going to Jesse: You're a shit 👻 Jesse: next time throw something Jac: I've got what I needed from the situation Jesse: 👌 Jac: is Jude here or what Jesse: do you hear her? Jac: its the middle of the night Jac: morning Jesse: it's the afternoon near enough Jac: can I go to bed or not Jesse: she's at a mates Jac: thank god Jesse: might be back in a bit, like I said, it ain't as early as you think Jac: if I knock myself out she won't be able to speak to me Jesse: you won't be able to answer, she can still go on about whatever she likes Jac: I won't hear her, same difference Jesse: same as when you're awake, yeah Jac: no, unfortunately I can still hear her Jesse: Gutted Jac: no shit Jesse: Try 🎧 Jac: I don't like music Jesse: don't listen to any then Jesse: other media exists Jac: I don't like any of that either Jesse: 🙄 Jac: you'll survive Jesse: Nobody likes the news, stick it on to drown her out and get over it Jac: I have no interest in feeling better Jac: at least she's good for that Jesse: Bit rude Jac: it's a compliment Jac: she has fuck all else use Jesse: Bollocks is it Jesse: you've got less use, at least she walks the 🐕🐕🐕 Jac: I clearly don't care about being of any use to any of you Jac: it's all about what you can do for me, which is very little but make my crippling depression much worse Jesse: achieved that then ✔ Jac: hooray Jesse: 🥳 Jac: you missed it Jesse: had one I was actually invited to go to Jac: wow, that's so impressive Jac: would you like me to pretend I'm jealous? Jesse: pretend what you like Jac: so generous Jesse: pat on the back'll be in the post Jac: I got better by myself with her girlfriend, tah Jesse: I can't pretend there's owt impressive about that, soz Jesse: get your 🏆🥇 off her if you're bothered Jac: as if I did it for the brag Jesse: she will have done Jac: give a fuck what she does or doesn't Jesse: I got that Jac: so what's your fucking point Jesse: you either wanna talk or you don't Jesse: I give a fuck about Valentina Jesse: I know exactly what she's like Jac: yeah, I don't fucking fancy her, it's not me you need or needed to tell Jac: she's clearly a slag Jesse: I don't need to tell Amelia either Jesse: everyone knows she collects queers Jesse: she's been trying to be mates with me for years Jac: not now Jac: too late Jesse: Time was already running out for them, no need Jesse: been obvious from day 1 Jac: yeah and I'm a shit friend Jesse: she ain't mine Jac: she's not mine Jesse: not now Jac: not for ages Jac: if ever Jac: so you're just a cunt for no reason Jesse: how am I? Jac: you knew and you didn't say shit Jac: even though you've got no reason to fuck with her life Jac: so, you're a cunt Jesse: she knew and she'd have still called it bollocks if I said anything Jesse: it's her life Jac: yeah, sure Jesse: yeah, she had her reasons, must've done Jac: mhmm, tell yourself that Jesse: you're the only person she's ever properly listened to, but go on and tell yourself it's my fault Jac: I know what I did, tah Jesse: and the only head you're doing in with going on about it is yours Jac: you think I care? Jesse: you do, it ain't about what I think Jac: I really don't Jac: it's what she was owed, simple as Jesse: she had something you cared enough about to need to fuck with Jesse: if you didn't give a fuck you wouldn't bother about what she was or wasn't owed Jesse: nowt would matter like you keep telling yourself it don't Jac: all I care about is everything being as shit as possible Jac: and pushing you all far away Jac: I've never said that wasn't the case but yeah, go off with your pseudo-psych Jesse: and all you did was push her onto the end of a phone with mum and dad, well done Jesse: closer that she was before, that Jac: yeah and? Jac: they can chat all they fucking please I don't have to join in Jesse: and don't come to me chuffed to bits with yourself when you've got no reason to be Jesse: there's the and Jac: awh Jac: you got woke up Jac: weren't me shouting Jesse: Never is Jac: well observed Jesse: I ain't in enough of a mard about the wake up call for you to get your only joy out of it, soz like Jac: whatever shall I do Jac: 💔 Jesse: Kettle's always on round here Jac: Hilarious Jesse: you'll have to get it yourself Jesse: doubly 💔 I know Jac: I don't like tea Jac: and I'm certainly not making any of you a cup Jesse: I ain't asking for one, I've got work Jac: how fun Jesse: 👋 Jac: enjoy Jesse: 🤞 Jac: try not to wake me when you get back Jesse: Got nothing to shout about Jac: gutted Jesse: won't be you getting the 🎻s out Jac: yeah, you can't play it Jesse: and I'm alright for learning any more instruments at the minute Jac: lazy Jesse: it's loud enough around here Jac: take that up with the rest Jac: they don't take pointed silence as a fucking hint Jesse: worked that out by myself, tah Jesse: have lived here long as you Jac: not quite Jesse: good as Jac: those 10 months without you were the best of my life Jesse: keep them close to your 🖤 Jesse: nowt I can do about it Jac: can't retroactively give dad a vasectomy Jesse: 💔 Jac: so sad Jesse: I got that Jac: good Jac: it's not all for nothing Jesse: 👍 Jac: can't we swap rooms Jesse: if you want Jac: really? Jac: her shit is everywhere Jesse: Don't matter Jac: i'm going sleep in your bed then Jesse: yours Jesse: that's what a swap is Jac: yes but i'm not moving the beds right now Jesse: Alright Jac: tell everyone you said its fine Jesse: weren't gonna keep it a secret Jac: Jameson and Jude will be pissed off Jesse: and? Jac: I don't wanna be rudely awoken Jac: we need a bigger house Jesse: my job don't pay that well Jac: two more years Jesse: ✔ Jac: that was an affirmation for me, not you Jesse: say it in your head then Jac: you either want me to talk or not dickhead Jesse: whinging weren't part of the deal, dickhead Jac: that's the only way you talk Jac: or singing, as you call it Jesse: SO funny, you Jac: just honest Jesse: honestly, go to bed Jac: I can't Jesse: ? Jac: too much on my mind Jesse: Yeah Jac: and I'm pretty wired Jac: I'm gonna go study Jesse: I'm out the door but you can come with Jesse: study there Jac: people will think I work there Jac: then you'll get terrible reviews Jesse: not if you stay in the back Jesse: it's well quiet there too Jac: does Ben come in lots still? Jac: Ben from Science, the one you sit next to Jesse: What's lots? Jesse: he comes in Jac: will he come in today? Jesse: I can text him Jac: that's lame Jac: I'll take a selfie Jac: he'll show Jesse: 👌 Jac: right, I'll be there later Jac: I need to re-do my makeup Jesse: in a bit then Jac: should I shower Jesse: Probably Jac: he's not worth it Jac: more probably messy is his type Jesse: so there's your answer Jac: fuck it Jac: keep the smudged mascara Jesse: 🥇💡? Jac: if not Ben it'll work on the other guys there Jesse: Steady on Jac: what? Jesse: You know what Jac: no Jesse: Yeah you do Jac: I can do what I want Jesse: you don't want this Jac: yes I literally do Jesse: Fuck's sake Jac: shut up Jesse: You can not talk to Ben or whoever Jesse: you can't shut me up Jac: don't be a baby about it Jesse: Don't do it Jac: are you always this much of a downer, jesus Jesse: I'll chuck you out Jac: then I'll just go somewhere else and hook up with someone else Jesse: You're such a prick Jac: its literally none of your business so Jesse: you made it my business when you told me about it Jac: whatever Jac: I'm gonna hit up someone else Jesse: Don't whatever me or this Jac: you can't do anything Jesse: You're still there and I ain't far off, I'll come back Jac: oh really Jac: you're gonna shut me in my room on the grounds of hoeing are you Jesse: If you make me Jac: you're funny Jesse: I don't give a fuck, Jac, alright? Jesse: Stop Jac: No Jesse: stop Jac: Why? Jesse: just stop Jac: No Jac: this is what I need to do Jesse: Bollocks Jesse: you need to stop Jac: nope Jac: its the last step of the plan Jesse: [he's coming back for this showdown, soz Pete because he blatantly works at your record store cafe moment] Jac: [whos bed you in that's a fun game of hide and seek] Jesse: [he's a woman don't test him, also soz Jameson and Cammie if you're here] Jac: [ah the drama, gonna have to fight your brother] Jesse: [such fun] Jac: [I hope JJ are there to break this up it must be the weekend so fingers crossed lmao] Jesse: [one of them should get hurt accidentally before they do because what a mood and also they'd be fuming] Jac: [who would you rather] Jesse: [I don't mind either way, could make a case for either so] Jac: [probably him for the angst and she's not in the mindset to be remotely careful like we're just trying to get out so if he tries to stop us we're going in] Jesse: [he is a soft boy like his father so that makes sense, JJ gonna be like wtf because they are the closest of these siblings have they ever even fought before probably not] Jac: [oh the drama, get the gal in therapy but she won't lol] Jesse: [storm off to work boy like you're remotely in the right mindset to be there] Jac: [can't even tracy apologize Jesse: [Jude will be gutted she missed this drama] Jac: [aren't we all]