#this motherfucker is longggg

[king-carnivore]

For anyone who has a hard time understanding how long this is, 36 feet is as long/tall as:

a telephone pole

an average sized humpback whale

a school bus

3 elephants stacked on top of each other

2 and a half Volkswagen beetles

IT'S FINALLY HERE! The true full size of my "do you love the colour of the sky HD remake director's cut" tumblr post

This ended up being 2 3/4 inches wide by 36 FEET LONG. 

The 2 3/4 inch width was chosen because that's the same width as a pretty average phone screen, and I wanted to know how physically far you have to scroll to get past this post.

also dont tell my boss that I got into the art gallery before we opened just to set up this rainbow CVS receipt looking motherfucker. in my defense i literally couldn't find any other location that was long enough to show this off

Please consider subscribing to my Patreon to gain access to my original content a week before its posted on tumblr!

[divinelolita]

What's up bbg?Can you do a fanfic with 2000s kaulitz twins were bill and Tom are at a meet and greet and there celebrity crush scene forever shows up to the meet and greet to get one of there albums signed and both Tom and bill are are shocked and speechless that M/N is a fan.

KAULITZ TWINS X CELEB READER: MEET AND GREET

hii my beautiful amazing angelic gorgeous wife 😇 erm we are still married so i have the right to call you that ANYWAYS uh if it's bad no it's not

"Jesus fuck how much longer..."

Tom groaned, rubbing his temples with his fingers as he finished signing another girls album, hands starting to cramp. Bill only giggled, cracking his knuckles as he looked over at his brother. "I mean we are here for another.." Bill looked over at the black and white clock hanging onto the wall, "...Hour?" Bill laughed as he watched Toms jaw drop, his eyes that were once nearly closed to exhaustion grow wide like saucers. "ANOTHER hour?! Oh my god...." he complained, whining like a spoiled child as he hit his hand down on the table in frustration, pulling away with a soft 'ow'.

Bill watched as Georg's mouth curled up in a smirk as he watched Tom's mini-tantrum. He could hear he soft snickering of Gustav as he signed another boys album, giving a small "You're welcome!" as the boy walked off. Bill really didn't blame Tom, as his fingers were starting to hurt and he was sweating like a motherfucker. Seriously, sometimes he regretted wearing so much clothing. If only he could take a cold shower, put on a pair or sweatpants and tanktop, sitting in his AC filled house...

"Hi, Bill!" a girl squeaked, making him jump slightly and apologize as he took his pen with trembling hands and signed away. She smiled as she looked down, her teeth so white Bill had to blink due to the glare. "Thanks!" she said, skipping away to go to her brother-or sister. Bill smiled, giving a small wave, before sluming back into his seat.

Tom guffawed, looking down at his younger brother. "Sit back up. We have another 45 minutes to go." Bill winced as he felt a small but firm slap on his shoulder, reluctantly sitting back up and propping himself in his elbows. Tom cleared his throat as a pretty girl came up to him with another album, his handwriting slightly off and a bit sloppy. He looked back at the clock. 42 minutes left. Yes, this was going to be a longggg time.

---

To say Bill's hands were hurting was a huge understandment. He could barely flex his fingers, that damn pen was starting to hurt everytime he held it. He found himself looking up at the clock after every person left, only finding it made time go by slower. Each second felt like a minute, each minute felt like an hour. Really, he just wanted to go back to the tour bus and sleep. It was times like these when he wondered what it would be like if he didn't sing 'It's Raining Men' or if he didn't become famous.

What would his job be? Maybe a fashion designer, or perhaps a teacher? Maybe a manager of some company?

He jumped slightly as Georg pushed him in the shoulder, a brown eyebrow quirked up. "Bill, what's wrong man? You look ill." Georg attempted to put the back of his hand to Bills forehead, but Bill swatted his hand away with a small laugh. "No, no I'm fine. Just uh..a bit tired is all." Georg hummed in agreement, cursing to himself under his breath as somebody walked up to him. He forced a small smile as the boy asked him a few questions, giving Georg a small album to sign aswell.

Tom smacked his lips together as he finished yet another. He looked up to the clock and couldn't help but let out a triumphant laugh as he saw they were down to 15 minutes. Gustav looked in his direction, clapping his hands a few times as he smiled. At this point, Tom couldn't even make out his own signature he gave out. He wasn't even checking out the girls as they walked away from him. He was never like this, never so tired he could barley keep sitting. He turned towards Bill in his seat, pushing a piece of hair behind his hair. He saw how tired Bill looked, how even with all the black eyeshadow that could mess with Tom's vision his brother still had eyebags, turning the pale skin gray under his eyes.

Bill and Tom groaned quietly in union as they saw somebody else come up to them, they turned back around, about to give a soft smile or "Hi!" to the person, but their mouths dropped. A boy with (colored) hair and an album tucked under his arm greeted them before they could, the twins having to blink a few times as their hearts heated faster. No.. It couldn't be him..although with that clothing, that hair, those eyes, and oh FUCK it was M/N. M/N L/N.

"Hi Bill, Tom," he greeted, smiling softly as he placed the album infront of them, " I've been waiting to get an album signed! Lines pretty crazy." He chuckled, a warm and cheery sound that instantly got rid of any anxiety the twins may have had.

Bill took him out his pen quickly as Tom fixed his posture, his face red. M/N watched as Bill signed his name in the corner, how his fingers were trembling and how slow and careful he was being. Tom signed in the other corner, actually holding the pen in a tight fist as he tried to write the best signature he could at the moment. "I uhh..You're M/N right?" OH STUPID STUPID TOM! He wanted to kill himself right there and then, what a dumb question!

But the gorgeous boy infront of them didn't laugh, didn't walk away. No. He stood there with a bright smile, laughing a bit. "Really? What makes you think that?" he teased, cocking his head to the side. Bill cleared his throat, feeling his palms get sweaty. "It's nice to meet you! I'm...Tom and I are big fans." Bill blabbered, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he gave a nervous smile. Dear Lord, Tom felt his knees buckle as M/N's face brightened, his smile widening. "Oh? Really?"

The twins nodded, not being able to form words currently. M/N laughed quietly, "Ah, how nice. You both did well tonight! Seriously Tom, I wish I could play guitar!.." (if you do no you don't) "..and your voice never fails to amaze me, Bill.." Tom and Bill could only let out soft 'thank you's', faces flushed with red and pink as they suddenly started to feel the air around them go up by a measly.. 100 degrees.

M/N held out his hands for the boys to shake, their hands feeling clammy and jittery as they held onto their crushes hand, almost sad and disappointed to see him go. M/N grabbed the album left on the table, giving a sad smile. "Hmm.. I have to get going now. It was nice meeting you!" he grinned as he waved, turning around and going out the door. "Bye..!" Tom and Bil said together, smiling as they waved. Their legs felt like jello, regardless of sitting down, and their hearts were beating so fast they could've popped out of their chest.

YES! They were done. Such a good day..a good concert, and a great ending!

"Hi, Tom!"

A girl said, holding out another album for the boy to sign. Bill held back a laugh as Tom sighed to himself before giving a forced smile, grabbing the pen as he bent over to give his signature.

Well...almost done.

[goldfishontheceiling]

wait imagine this

sometime between island and s2 ep27 of action, (probably on his time at playa de losers), ezekiel gets his grubby little farmer boy hands on the internet.

specifically, youtube.

now this motherfucker is absolutely mindblown because "oh wow! people post stuff here and people watch it!!!"

long story short, he makes a youtube channel.

and calls it therealEzekielMiller

(i swear this isn't an advertisement [as far as i know] the channel doesn't exsit)

so. it doesn't do too well. my guy has like the shittest camera quality and doesn't even know how to change his pfp.

also, all his titles sound like clickbait. like imagine seeing this title as your scrolling.

(REAL) SNEAK PEAKS AT PLAYA DE LOSERS!!! (Courtney freakout!?!?) 😨😨😨

yeah...

however, no matter how grainy and pixelated the footage is, it soon becomes important.

because that's some of the last footage of him.

we all know what happened to zeke in world tour. and if you for some reason don't, please don't look it up if you haven't seen it yet. watch the show. (now ill admit that's advertising).

so, ezekiel's feral, he goes missing, and this youtube channel is throughly investigated to try and find any potentially helpful footage.

the most they found was courtney freaking out. and izzy taking the camera like 5 times. pretty much everything else was about this "brilliant invention" called harmonica rap.

but anyway, a bit after RR, they finally find ezekiel.

and he immediately gets sent to a hospital because HOLY SHIT IS HE GREEN???

the doctors conclude that zeke should eventually be able to return to (almost) completely sanity. so, while he goes through this longggg healing process, the media hears his story.

and that old youtube channel? yeah it EXPLODED

and what does ezekiel do with this new found fanbase?

he gets scared and avoids the internet.

i mean can you blame him??? he went from having NO FANS to HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS, and the only memories he has are blurry ones where he's green and growling at people.

but he couldn't avoid it forever.

and for the first time in over 7 years, ezekiel posts another video.

and it BLOWS UP

THE WHOLE CHANNEL DOES

but deep down our boy ezekiel is still a sheltered farm boy. he had to google how to change his youtube pfp.

so just imagine this scrawy, slightly green, teenager/early adult in front of a camera, rambling nonsense and throwing "yo" or "eh" into pretty much every sentence.

just IMAGINE THAT

"get ready with me to get a rabies shot"

"guys what does lol mean?"

"storytime: i went feral in a cargo hold"

"reading my old rap songs"

"riding a horse after 7 years"

"what does gay mean?"

"get ready with me to see my ma and pa again"

anyway yeah in conclusion give farm boy internet access.

[not-your-bro]

When Josh is planning/hosting parties, do you think he forces Chris into helping him?

i think it depends on the kind of party! it makes sense that the washingtons go all out for halloween. in the first or at least one of the first fics i posted, a longggg ass time ago, i had josh basically transform the basement into a haunt for halloween, and i can see the washingtons doing this for friends & family. or having a yard/driveway one that's open to anyone and it's locally famous. in these cases, josh could probably use the help, but he wouldn't take it, bc he wouldn't want anything spoiled for chris. not that chris would give a shit, but josh would, bc you knowww he's filming his friends reacting to this stuff and he wants them all to be as freaked as possible.

if it's a regular ol' party, then yeah. even though i think the typical arrangement is chris driving them around in his car, i can totally see josh having to pick up some stuff for a party, and instead of just, yknow, running a couple errands by himself, he texts chris like "yo u wanna go out for a bit." and when chris says sure, josh immediately replies "ok cool i'm in ur driveway." like! no chill on that boy. he is just showing up beep beep get in motherfucker.

chris's shtick is to act all put-upon, like this is a big chore and josh is totally ruining the big plans he definitely had for the day, but he doesn't actually mind. truly i feel like they have the kind of friendship/relationship where they can have fun doing just about anything together. probably at the expense/annoyance of people around them, but oh well.

[highdefinitions]

phantom headcanons?

well if you insist! under the cut as to not have a longggg ass post on the timeline, but here we are, anon, my phantom headcanons (so far)

i don't have much for him because i'm still trying to flesh him out entirely BUT here's what i've got so far:

sometimes the ghouls will wake up and phantom is asleep on their floor. especially if they’d had a rough day. he’s still learning about quintessence and sometimes he feels emotions too strongly (even through the walls and the blankets and pillows he tries to wrap and stack on his head) so he ends up just going to them to try and make it better for both of them. he doesn’t want anybody to be sad and he knows aether took care of everybody so he tries to, too, as best as he can. he spent a lot of time in dewdrop's room right after he was summoned...

he has a sweet tooth. he loves those blue bunny mini swirls ice cream cones. will breeze through an entire box in one sitting if the other ghouls let him or if he doesn’t get caught with them. and he hates to share them too. they're his and no one else's

i think he's got a pretty short fuse sometimes. but it's more of an eye for an eye thing. you piss me off, i'm going right back at you to piss you off. something of that sort

COCKYYYY MOTHERFUCKER. you've seen him slut strut himself out across that stage just the same as i have. he knows he's got it going on and he's not shy about flaunting it around (do not ever even think about saying he's shy, fuck off)

has vitiligo. he's got that regular gray-ish ghoul skin but there's some spots that are just white. he's got one patch over his eye too, and it's made his eyesight a little bit funky (not entirely blind, but there's definitely times where he struggles. i guess i'm thinking an almost cataract type thing if you get me). a couple really stark white streaks all throughout his black hair too

[idcpxseur]

i want more laurance thoughts pretty please

OKAY BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

My thoughts on Laurence Zvhal

soft warning for aaron slander. im not really slandering him im just sharing my conspiracy theories. ALSO THIS BITCH IS LONGGGG AND THERES SO MUCH RAMBLIGN GOD HELP

god i love him so bad... thats the main thing i wanna get cleared up right the fuck away. i love him SOSO bad and i think jesson uses him completely inappropiately and im stealing him. okay? hes my oc now.

this is also a warning, i havent refreshed completely with my mcd knowledge and mystreet is more fresh in my mind so if i say something wrong about a plot point be nice to me im doing my best im a little guy with a dissociative disorder so i forget shit

aaalllrighty where the hell do i begin?

okay so first off, right off the bat: when he got back from the nether in mcd, he should've been blind. because

disability representation. blindness isnt something that can just be cured unless you get touched by jesus christ himself (im not religious but i think thats in the bible lol) and it something that impacts millions of people on the daily. exposing that to young kids can introduce them to the fact that not everybody is just like them and that people come in many different shapes and sizes. and it ofc helps anyone who happens to be blind have a chracter to relate to and project on.

do YOU KNOW HOW COOL IT WOULD BE FOR A BLIND KNIGHT? like fighting is a very visual skill for the most part you need to see your opponents sword to properly dodge it or you are good and truly fucked. so taking something integral to fighting and ripping it away gives another great chance for character development as well as some really sick ass scenes where laurence goes all toph and uses his senses that are now firing at all cylinders and kicks total ass

ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!! like. laurence is a very visual guy, right? he sees pretty ladies to flirt with, he's a knight, he cares about his looks. so now he has all of that pretty much ripped away from him in an instant. what the fuck is he supposed to do? he flounders. hes a shell of his former self, in a way. like hes still there, hes still alive, but is he even laurence anymore? its something he has to learn to embrace and come to terms with. the main cast could also be super encouraging for him and basically is like "hey dude youre still the same fuckin awesome guy and you can still do all these fucking awesome things you just gotta learn how to do it again"

itd make for some cool relationship building between him and garroth or him and zoey or him and aphmau or even like him and cadenza. it gives him external relationships outside of just aphmau's love interest

JESUS FUCK I YAPPED A LOT ABOUT LAURENCE BEING BLIND OKAY

i think giving laurence (in both mcd and mystreet) jealousy/possessiveness issues is lame and a total turn off. like its such a gross thing to tell to kids, no? like "hey kids if you love someone they are ENTITLED to love you back and they CANT be in love with someone else"

obviously this behavior is still shut down but still... like why include it? especially because, prior to him falling in love, he seemed to be just a completely chill dude who only gets angry if he needs to. but suddenly hes mass slaughtering people at weddings (mcd), stalking his love interest because he saw her talking with another guy (mystreet), giving aphmau the cold shoulder because she is either indecisive or loses interest in him (this goes in both series i believe)

like it just gives you such an ick and obviously i know why they did this. i will say this until the day they put me in the damn ground its because of motherfucking aaron becoming a love interest. i have zero issues with aaron as a character and i even like him as a character (i have redeemed myself. i used to hate him) but as a love interest i think hes the worst thing to happen to every series because he just simply destroys any male character who had the potential to be shipped with aphmau which was all of them

were moving to mystreet here because mystreet is the best and most glaring example of this because mystreet was after they had decided to make aarmau canon in mcd and you can tell because of the way they set up laurence and garroth.

lemme explain and yes i know this is deviating from strictly laurence a tad but stay with me

im not going to use pdh because pdh was written after mystreet based off of the fact that for some reason travis doesnt know aphmau???? despite them being best friends in pdh??? WHATEVER WHWATEVER NOT THE POINT OKAY. were also going to completely disregard the undercurrent of grooming for aarmau and were going to pretend like this relationship is normal and not at all weird. okay? okay.

so from the moment you first meet laurence and garroth, you can tell their vibes are off. theyre openly hostile with each other (even if its playful theyre still "competeing" for her), theyre trying to shove each other out of the way. it makes them seem unlikeable. every time theyre on screen theyre talking to her or about her (often times planning on stalking her or getting irrationally jealous because they heard something through the grapevine) and it just turns the viewer off. if youre a first time viewer without any preconcieved notions of these character you're thinking "wow thats creepy. why would she stay friends with them? why would she bother sticking around her if all they want is a relationship out of her and not a genuine friendship?" and if you happened to watch mcd first youre thinking "wow is this how theyre really like? wow i dont like them at all anymore" and then you go to mcd and see their worst traits being ramped up and amplified to make them even more unlikable

and then you see aaron

in mcd hes a silent protector. hes always by aphmau's side. hes her one true loyal knight even when she does something he doesnt like. they understand eachother in ways that laurence and garroth just dont

in mystreet hes her guard dog. hes always there to step in when shes uncomfortable. hes her secret best friend her home away from home. he makes her feel loved in such a way that laurence garroth never could since theyve only ever cared about her superficially and not in any way that really, truly mattered

it makes the audience cling to him. it makes them think "well fuck why did the other guys even try hes obviously perfect for her" it blinds them of any other potential option because jesson just didnt give any other opportunity to shine through.

and thats fine. thats completely fine they can do whatever the hell they want to with their series because as one creative to another sometimes you just gotta make your bed and lie in it knowing that not every bitch out there is going to like every creative decision you make.

as a viewer it just.... it just makes you feel dissatisfied. leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, especially given the fact that in mcd you were basically told "these are your two options for love interests" and then a third love interest swoops in seemingly out of nowhere, gets her pregnant, and then he fucking dies.

in mystreet it just like... ugh. i dont know. i guess i feel happy for them because i can see their development. but like me personally i cant really feel shit for ms aarmau simply because of pdh and the FUCKING WEIRDNESS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP

sorry this, once again, turned into a rant about how aaron's introduction as a love interest fucking ruined everything (my words, not anyone elses)

to sum up this long, long, long post my thoughts on laurence are as follows: i think hes written very poorly in mystreet and severely mishandled in mcd. i think that he had the potential to be very interesting in both series if used properly and he couldve had more intersting things happen to him in terms of the love interest department.

i think hes a character that gets the a lot of the character assassination tirade that jesson went on and i wish we got to see more of him but unfortunately we never will since you know his va left.

but most importantly:

hes my pookie wookie booboo bear and i love him so bad and im going to shake him and bite him and rip him to shred

well... i hope you got what you wanted. i have emptied all of my thoughts about laurence

[gingerbravecookie]

*Throws the sonic fandom @ u for the ask game into your hands*

aightttt-

The first character I first fell in love with: Sonic all fucking day longggg-

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: I like tangle :]

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Scourge-,, this motherfucker is just a literal evil recolored sonic why the fuck do y'all like him sm-/nm

The character I love that everyone else hates: Wouldn't say love more like liking them but Omochao and Chris bc they're just trying their best what did the lil fellas ever do to ya :(

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: none of them yet-

The character I would totally smooch: i don't wanna kiss any-

The character I’d want to be like: uhhhhhhhh next question-

The character I’d slap: Scourge,, definetly Scourge

A pairing that I love: I think Sonadow,, Waverouge and Whispangle are cool :]

A pairing that I despise: s/namy,, s/nelise bc i don't really like them-,, kn/xrouge and sh/rouge are the most despised ones and i don't like them bc rouge is like 18 and the other two are minors- (yeah shadow is a minor he never actually aged biologically nor mentally-),, aaand mephiles/silver and s/ntails shippers can go the fuck away from me that shit's gross-

[wanna-b-poet31]

Crowley’s Truth and Aziraphale’s Lies (A 3-part series) Part 1: Crowley’s Heartbreaking Honesty

So I could do a whole series about why Crowley (in all his piety) is fallen and Aziraphale (in all his temptations) is not. However, I wanted to focus this series strictly on the use of honesty and lies throughout Good Omens. I argue that honesty (and the irony of an honest Demon and a lying Angel) is a tool for establishing their place in-between Heaven and Hell.  They serve as hybrids, a liminal space between holy and hellish, allowing for their supposed “flaws” to shine, and enable them to form their own side.  

Crowley’s Motivation:

One of Crowley’s defining traits is his imagination. Unlike any other celestial entity, he can create ideas, questions, and fabrications at a moment’s notice.  Crowley’s no Saint, he lies to Hastur easily (about calling the demonic counsel), he impersonates Aziraphale stunningly, and (if Aziraphale recalls correctly) he takes credit for all of the horrendous things humanity has done throughout the years (even earning himself some commendations along the way).  So he CAN lie, quite well actually, so long as he has the proper motivation.

And, without fail what IS his motivation? Who (or what) inspires him and allows him to focus his thoughts even when he’s panicking (and possibly trying his best to cope with his piles of trauma)?  Certainly not humanity alone, and certainly not because he has any sense of self-preservation. The man ran into a burning building head first without a second thought; he drove his beloved car through literal hellfire; he walked across consecrated ground despite being burned simply because he told himself he could.  No, he there’s only 1 thing that motivates him.

Aziraphale (of course) 

Crowley: Would I Lie To You?

Crowley lies at least 5 notable times throughout the series.

His reports about the ill-deeds he’s responsible for are riddled with lies and half-truths (which is a general fuck you Hell kind of lie)

He fails to tell the higher-ups in Hell about his knowledge about the Anti-Christ, the location of the Anti-Christ and neglected to correct Hell about it (a Fuck you Satan kind of lie)

He hides and ignores the agreement he’s made with Aziraphale from Hell (A Fuck you Heaven and Hell kind of lie) 

He deceives Hastur, several times but most notably after Ligur’s death (a fuck you Hastur kind of lie, and he’s murderous so he deserves it sorta)

He Impersonates Aziraphale (An F to the U to Heaven kind of lie) 

The notable exemption from this list is Aziraphale. 

Unlike the demons who he deceives at any given moment (particularly in defense of Aziraphale), he refuses to lie to Aziraphale. 

Are you Satan and have just “blessed” Crowley with the staring role in the Apocalypse?  Yeah, great (lies through his teeth about wanting to partake). 

 Are you a Duke of Hell inquiring about where the Anti-Christ is and trying to confront Crowley about his relationship with Aziraphale? “So Longggg Suckaaas” I’m gonna lie lie lie and possibly kill you for coming towards me. 

Are you heaven trying to torture my best friend >lover< with hellfire that will surely kill him? Not today motherfucker, because guess what? Now I’m him and I’ll lie my ass off to protect him. 

Are you an Angel who shows free will and loves humanity as much as he does? 404 Error lies not found. 

This is not to say he’s always straightforward with Aziraphale. because God, Satan, Someone knows he’s got a flair for the dramatic. But not even does he lie through omission.  Whenever Aziraphale asks a question, no matter how light-hearted or series Crowley’s being, he will always give an honest answer, even if it sometimes goes over the angel’s head. >see: Crowley being a blubbering mess because his best friend died and Aziraphale not quite understanding that the best friend is him< 

He’s also oddly cryptic when he’s asking for holy water, but never once does Crowley lie. Sure, he’s trying to speak in code “because the trees have ears”, but when he says it’s for insurance, not a suicide pill, it is for insurance. 

He can tell that his relationship with Aziraphale has morphed in such a way that it would put him and Aziraphale in danger if Hell ever found out about it.  Aziraphale, simply, does not believe him that his only motivation is protection because it is too close to his own fears about Crowley being destroyed. 

Which is why I think he’s so upset about the word “fraternize”. First, there is a class element involved with the Victorian use of the word (usually referring to someone of a higher class interacting friendly to a lower class member). Where Aziraphale may have meant comradery (and brotherhood, which also not how Crowley views their relationship) Crowley certainly acts as if he took it to mean Aziraphale was speaking to him like an enemy or an “inferior” species. 

This is only further supported by Aziraphale’s accusatory “we may have both started out as Angels, but YOU are fallen”, placing (in my opinion) too much emphasis on Crowley’s fall (a huge trauma trigger for him). But this whole characterization of their relationship is a lie Aziraphale tells himself to repress his fears about Heaven’s traumatic treatment of him. By this point in their partnership (as we’ve seen) both he and Crowley go out of their ways to treat each other as equals. To deny it, to repress their feeling is a slap. in. the. face. 

Further, the audience for lying clearly matters to Crowley.  In the relative privacy of the park, Aziraphale says “fraternize”, which doesn’t do enough justice for the kind of intimacy the uniquely share. It implies they could be enemies or strangers (which they aren’t, they’re at least friends). Crowley is so intimately aware that even now, in the 1800′s, it’s them (and humanity) against divinity.  And, Crowley refuses to lie to Aziraphale, especially about the sort of relationship they share. Sure he won’t tell the other demons, and sure as hell won’t tell the angels how deep their relationship goes, but in this private moment, where he’s approaching as a partner (not an adversary)? It would be the worst kind of lie. It would ignore or erase the new space they’ve created for themselves where they can be equals. 

In the above gif, we see Crowley angry and lash out. He says harsh words and insists that he doesn’t need Aziraphale. Since we’re counting, I don’t think this is a lie. Now no, he clearly does need Aziraphale in his life, but he’s just been smacked in the face with the insinuation that they are not equals, they are not friends, they are enemies, and I believe him at this moment, a very hurt Crowley, decides if that’s how Aziraphale is going to treat him, then he will treat him like all his other enemies. At the moment he says I think it he means it because Crowley cannot make time for someone who won’t take his concerns seriously and thinks so little of their relationship.  If he can’t be seen as an equal, he’d prefer not to be seen at all. 

Although, this is a temporary truth, and one Crowley is willing to correct Aziraphale about in a way he never does for his hellish counterparts. Crowley cares too deeply to wish Aziraphale any real harm, even if Aziraphale can’t call a spade a spade. Crowley sure as Hell would move heaven and earth to demonstrate the extent of his love. He shows as much in his rescue in 1941, and again when Aziraphale once again lies and says “we’re not friends...I don’t even like you” in the bandstand. These lies actively hurt Crowley but not once does he retaliate with.  Instead, he meets Aziraphale with blunt honesty. Saying “yes you do�� doing everything he can to get Aziraphale on the same page, and share their truth. 

Look at the above gif. Not only does Crowley KNOW Aziraphale is lying, but Aziraphale knows it too. While he clearly loves Crowley and has loved Crowley for some time, his inability to work through his anxieties and rely on Crowley as a support system, as a partner, he can’t come to terms with his own trauma. 

So, he lies. 

He lies and he hurts Crowley. He lies and he dismisses Crowley’s honesty. He lies and he harms himself because they both know this is a facade he can’t keep up much longer. He lies, and Crowley still meets him with honesty and forgiveness. 

And honestly, it breaks his heart to be lied to, but he knows the alternative solution would be no best friend at all. Under normal circumstances, Crowley could be patient. He could wait for Aziraphale to come to terms with their relationship almost for forever. But, shit hits the fan, and he needs to show Aziraphale that two of them need to stop dancing, stop being cryptic, and cut through the bullshit for once. 

Which brings me to the first Gif of this section. Take a moment, scroll the ridiculous amount up, and just look at the indignation on his face. in the earlier gif “Would I lie to you?”, he clearly consciously makes a point to never lie to Aziraphale, despite it supposedly being “the demon’s way”. Not in anger (like at the bandstand) not even if it’s uncomfortable (like when he’s criticizing Aziraphale for being so clever and so stupid), not even if the angel is (knowingly or unknowingly) hurting him with his lies. 

Crowley draws the line at tainting his relationship with the kind of lies Heaven tells, and the kind of disregard Hell tells.  Because despite the lies he’s told by Aziraphale, Crowley knows who he can trust, who he needs on his side, who he wants to spend the end of the world with, and it sure as hell isn’t Hastur or Beelzebub.  

Because at the end of the day, Crowley knows what the two of them share together.  One great way to see this comparison is to checkout @theladyzephyr ‘s meta on Crowley and his glasses. Because while he does let his guard down for Aziraphale (even if only drunk), his autonomy, his consent to wear/not wear his glasses is taken from in by Hastur in the above gif’s scene.  Aziraphale, for all his lies, does not cross the same boundaries as Hell does, and genuinely cares for Crowley. He shows remorse for his actions and is clearly just as hurt by his own lies as Crowley is. 

A Very Crowley’s Conclusion

But what does this mean in terms of his Honesty? Well, for starters, demonstrates that while he has the power to lie, and could lie to Aziraphale (functionally I mean) he chooses not to.

He might, every now and then poke him and partake in some friendly banter, but never is it mean spirited, not even when they’re both at their breaking points. His ability to lie but restraint from lying; his ability to deceive, but his choice to trust, sets him apart from the rest of the demonic mold.  

Quite honestly, He probably could tempt (like really tempt) Aziraphale to his side. He could manipulate and push the Angel into situations they both know he would be uncomfortable with. But, he doesn’t. He doesn’t become the abusive force Heaven and Hell have pushed on the two of them because that’s not how he wants or needs to cope with his loss. No, he needs an equal, not a lackey. He needs an equal, not a boss. He needs love, not control. 

It becomes clear that his loyalties have never (at least not in the series) been with Hell. Crowley doesn’t trust or care about his fellow demons. He kills one (permanently) and another (not so permanently) without hesitation. He defies (actively and with little regard for the safety of other celestial creatures) the desires of Hell, working with his bestie to ensure the world breaks even. 

Consequently, he’s creating a “third” option with Aziraphale. It is distinctly not a human space (neither of them is human). It’s is not heavenly or hellish, but space for them to be who they are, fight for what they love and feel safe knowing they are a team (romantic or otherwise). And it’s clear based on who he lies to and how he lies, that he’s not cut out for the Demon frenzy or the demon.

Their third space is what Crowley’s been working for since day one because Aziraphale is worth lying to others to protect and worth telling the truth to love. 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk

[hwkeyc]

ALL 20 RDR2 QUESTIONS, BILY

yooooo. i literally just saw this. omfg. why does tumblr not alert me of these things???? also fucking hell. keeping some under the cut ‘cause this bitch is longggg.

20 rdr2 questions! closed because dis hoe made me answer them all.

1. High honor or low honor? Why?high honor because my boah is a good boah. i can’t see him doing bad shit just ‘cause.

2.Do you think Dutch was always unhinged?yeah, kinda. he seemed a bit off at the beginning to me but it progressively got worse toward the end, ya know. i think the shit that happened in blackwater got him.

3. Favorite song in the game?i don’t really have one. lame, i know.

4.Who is the most misunderstood character?misunderstood? idk man. i understood the majority of them most the time. their motivates and shit added up to their characters. i don’t think any of them can really be misunderstood.

5. What are your thoughts on Strauss? fucking bitchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

6.Favorite quote?I HaVE a plAN, ARthUr!

7. Funniest moment?the look on arthur’s face when he realized the incest siblings were well… incestuous. 

8.Favorite ship(s)?uh…………… i don’t have one.

9.Most shocking death? motherfucking sean’s. i legit sat there with my mouth wide open looking like a fool when he died because wtf.

10. Most satisfying death?that’s a toughy. either micah’s or agent milton’s. honestly, they are roughly the same level of satisfaction when it came to their death’s.

11.Do you believe Jack is John’s son? If not then who do you think it is?mulder voice: i believe.

12.Best moment in the game?fucking arthur standing on the wagon that had the oil to stop the train. i almost cried and died watching that. i was smitten after that, that’s for sure.

13. Favorite character that’s not a gang member?that fool charles chatenay. he was great. i loved him. wow.

14. Favorite campfire song?anything javier sang. i didn’t understand a word of it because i am a gringa, but i loved it.

15. Most underrated character?……………. i have no idea. trelawny? idk man. i just wish we got more trelawny. he was dope.

16. If R* were to make a third RDR game, what would you want it to be about and who would you want the protagonist to be?if it ain’t arthur morgan, i don’t want it.

17.Did you help John escape or go back for the money? Why?i helped my homeboi escape bruh. those who blow up train bridges help each other escape. (also because i would feel bad if i didn’t help john).

18.Which gang member do you wish Arthur interacted with more?everyone. he needs to hangout with charles and go hunting. he needs to dumb shit with john. javier needs to teach him to play the guitar…. i mean… just everyone.

19. Which gang member death affected you the most?i’m pretty cold-hearted and apathetic… so like none of them really. i man, i felt bad but none of them made me cry. though to be honest, arthur’s did bring me to the verge of tears.

20.What was your first horses name? And is there a meaning behind it?not talking about the first, first one, but the one i caught after. it was a blood bay thoroughbred. i named him lafayette because uh….. marquis de lafayette… i’m hamilton trash to so… you know.

[wishful-soda]

I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth out in 1 go 😭 I hope you’re recovery is going well and you’re back to your healthy self again 💕 If making playlists for fics/ books was a career I would aspire to that job so bare with me while I just offload because I’ve just started reading SOTD and I’m obsessed! I think music held the writing process so much and inspires ideas.

Dress by T-Swift (“only bought this dress so you could take it off” 😏)

Pressure by Martin Garrix and Tove Lo (hate sex in a song if ever I’ve heard it 🔥)

Sober by Selena Gomez (This would be VERY shitty of DR but maybe if they end up drunkenly hooking up one night, doesn’t have to be sex could just be a kiss or a heavy make out session but something quite intense, he just acts like a total dick in the morning and like it was another one night stand and totally deflects because it actually meant more to him than he cares to admit. She’s really hurt by this 😖 Or maybe they get together, he wants to keep it a secret, they only hook up at night and she starts to feel like his dirty little secret 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Put your money where your mouth is by Jet (“Am I in hell or the promise land?” 🔥)

Addicted to you by Avicii

This Summer by Maroon 5 (“this summers going to hurt like a motherfucker” i.e. it’s going to be a longggg season for both of them because they hate each other so damn much 🙃)

You’re obsessed? 😭 I’m so glad you love it, seriously, feedback makes the inspo just flow and thrive!

Omg bear with you?! This is a goddamn GIFT!! I seriously am living for all of these, THANK YOU. 💜 I’d never heard Pressure and you’re so right, hate sex in a song and there will be some rough hate sex 🔥

Idk if too much T-Swift is a thing (I’m not a HUGE fan) but she has killer fucking lyrics and I have like 4 written down right now that are SO GOOD. Happiness being one of them. (“Tell me when did your winning smile, begin to look like a smirk?” And “I can’t make this go away by making you the villain”)

I’d hire you as my playlist maker for sure, omg. Please stay in touch so we can talk songs more and I’d love to hear what you come up with as the story evolves!!!

[marauder--harder]

What type of music do you think the marauders would listen to?

THE BEATLESSSSSSSSSS

Of course, there would be some magical groups as well but Lily and Remus would definitely get the boys into all sorts of muggle music. 

And in the 70′s they’d so listen to the classics! Just a few would include… (oh please picture the boys jamming out to these)

Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen (one of Remus’ and Peter’s favorites) 

My Sharona - The Knack

I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor (James and Sirius would rock out to this)

Freebird - Lynyrd Skynyrd

Dancing Queen - ABBA (Lily’s and the girls’ jammmm)

LITERALLY EVERY BEATLES SONG EVER

The Boys are Back in Town - Thin Lizzy

Sirius would be down with every Michael Jackson song out there

Remus prefers the Jackson 5 as he would listen to them often with his mother

He also loved Frank Sinatra as him and his mom would dance to that as a kid

James and Sirius would be huge AC/DC fans

Peter is a slut for all ABBA (he hides it though)

(Don’t Fear) The Reaper - BOC (Sirius loved BOC but the other boys didn’t really like them much) 

Remus listens to Ain’t No Sunshine - Bill Withers when he is sad (Lily listens to him too and cries at the song)

And those are just the top hit songs they like… If you want me to go into the artists in general they all like I can but that would be so longggg

((If you haven’t noticed, I love 70′s music. I grew up with it, it is amazing and I know the words to every single song I just mentioned btw.))

IT IS A MOTHERFUCKING SLEEPOVER GUYS!!

[wanna-b-poet31]

Would I Lie to You?

It would not be inaccurate to say that Crowley lies. Alot. 

In fact, while I’ve previously talked about how Aziraphale lies through his teeth, TO GOD, TO GABRIEL, and >most heartbreakingly< TO CROWLEY, Crowley is the infinitely more creative and believable liar. He has significantly fewer tells (when not stressed, like you know, after his lover best friend died), watching him seems so much more natural than the twitchy, anxious, Angel we all know and love. 

He has some notable lies throughout the mini-series: 

Some are minor with big consequences, like in the reports where he takes responsibility for Humanity’s misdeeds.

some are omissions, like when he deliberately He fails to tell the higher-ups in Hell about his knowledge about the Anti-Christ, the location of the Anti-Christ and neglected to correct Hell about it.

Some are a matter of self-preservation, like when he hides his intimate relationship with Aziraphale from Hell 

Some are for protection. He says he wants the holy water for “insurance” and when Hastur comes after him (and threatens to go after Aziraphale), his claim comes to fruition. He, however, lies several times in an effort to protect himself and Aziraphale,(and I suppose the world) from Hastur’s wrath. You can see this most notably after Ligur’s death, which makes these lies also kinda a personal “fuck you” to Hastur, (but he’s murderous so he deserves it sorta)

And Finally, some lies are directly in an effort to save Aziraphale. Most obvious of which is when he *spoiler* Impersonates Aziraphale (An F to the U to Heaven kind of lie)

But. NEVER. Once. does. he. lie. to. Aziraphale.

Unlike the demons who he easily deceives at any given moment (particularly in defense of Aziraphale), he refuses to lie to the deceitful.

Are you Satan and have just “blessed” Crowley with the staring role in the Apocalypse?  Yeah, great (lies through his teeth about wanting to partake).

Are you a Duke of Hell inquiring about where the Anti-Christ is and trying to confront Crowley about his relationship with Aziraphale? “So Longggg Suckaaas” I’m gonna lie lie lie and possibly kill you for coming towards me and Aziraphale.

Are you heaven trying to torture my best friend >lover< with hellfire that will surely kill him? Not today motherfucker, because guess what? Now I’m him and I’ll lie my ass off to protect him.

Are you an Angel who shows free will and loves humanity as much as he does? 404 Error lies not found.

This is not to say he’s always honest about his feeling with Aziraphale. God knows he has really bad communication skills. “NGK”’s and stammering aside, he has an unfortunate self-esteem issue which inhibits his confidence and ability to be fully transparent.  This is to say nothing about the 1960′s “go too fast for me” interaction which does little to encourage him. And God, Satan, fuck knows he’s so desperate, to be honest about this, but so scared about being rejected, (and concerned about making Aziraphale uncomfortable, because he’d be rather walk on the consecrated ground than have Aziraphale feel pressured to go a speed he’s uncomfortable with).  

Anthony J(anthony) Crowley, OR What’s In A Name?

Which, let’s talk about surprise confrontations, namely when he’s confronted about his name. Names, I think it’s fair to say, are intimate for Crowley. Not only does he have a canonic deadname, (that fuckers like Hastur continuously use despite knowing he doesn’t use that word), but he is very selective about how open he is with it. In many ways, the Nazis “out” his full name, and despite this, he is transparent, answering Aziraphale’s questions about it.  This is, remember, after falling out, and (presumably) not seeing each other for almost 80 years. He is uncomfortable clearly, (although part of that is attributed both to the Nazis and the consecrated ground he’s prancing around on) but he’s still directly ready to start communicating about it. 

But, despite his apprehension, I don’t think he even lies through omission. When he says the J is “just a J really”, I believe him. 

Firstly, because he has no reason to lie about it at this moment and then immediately switch to honestly tell the Nazi’s that he intervened with the bombing, and is sending one directly down on them. Although he’s not believed by the Nazi’s, we (and Aziraphale) know that he’s being honest here and that his priority, above even his own safety, is protecting Aziraphale. There seems to be no reason, to me at least, then for him to code shift here. 

Anthony J-“Acts of service” Crowley, is in the middle of yet another demonstration of his love. While he might be hesitant to disclose his motives (see: the few seconds of resistance when at the satanic church-turned-paintball-retreat between telling Aziraphale he replaced the paint guns with real guns and revealing no one is killing each other) but he’s in the middle of rescuing Aziraphale, his comfort is very rarely a consideration he calculates for. Choosing to lie about something so personal, and yet taken out of his control is well within his rights. No one is entitled to out him, or you, without express consent.  However, it is out of character for him to do so given how much he trusts Aziraphale and needs his acceptance. 

Which brings me to the second reason I believe him. Trust. 

In this short exchange, he can tell when Aziraphale hears his secret name, the angel is not accusatory, or dismissive, or betrayed, or really particularly judgemental. Sure he asks “Anthony?” with an intonation denoting confusion at the revelation, and having the information conveyed not through Crowley himself (as he was with “Crowley”), but a third party, and an untrustworthy third party.  But even when Crowley presses “don’t like it?”, with a trying-not-to-be-scared-at-rejection air of confidence. Except, he’s not rejected. Aziraphale responds “no, I’ll get used to it”, placing the onus of learning on himself and not on Crowley for unexpectedly choosing a first name. Demonstrating, to Crowley at least, that he can be trusted with more information, without the harsh reaction he’s come to expect from Heaven or Hell. 

Look at the above GIF, and focus on the way Aziraphale asks “What does the J Stand for”. His face isn’t angry, (despite being miffed at Crowley not a full minute earlier when he suspected Crowley to be behind Nazism). He’s certainly not focused on “you’ve been hiding a name from me”, or feel entitled to know why he’s just finding out the name. Instead, he’s giving Crowley the opportunity to reveal this information on his own terms. And, effectively, removing power from the Nazis by ignoring them, and by making the conversation about Crowley’s preference. He’s giving Crowley an out here. Asking what it stands for puts the ball in Crowley’s court, not the Nazi’s, not Aziraphale’s, not Heaven or Hells, but Crowley's. He has the power to reveal as he pleases without an expectation or negative reaction. Aziraphale isn’t demanding, he’s asking permission. 

Then, Aziraphale subsequently doesn’t bring it up again. Not that night, not 20 years later, not as Nanny, and not at the Apocalypse. He only calls Crowley by his preferred names, and we never see him pressure Crowley to reveal the rationale. The ball is, still, in Crowley’s court.  

Whenever Aziraphale asks a question, no matter how light-hearted or serious, he will always give an honest answer, even if it sometimes goes over the angel’s head. >see: Crowley being a blubbering mess because his best friend died and Aziraphale not quite understanding that the best friend is him<

The Final Solution

I think a perfect example of his complicated, but raw, honesty towards Aziraphale specifically, is his request for holy water.

So this is a tense interaction, and arguably really abrupt given both Aziraphale’s surprise and the two friendly interactions we’d seen beforehand.  However, never once during this whole request does Crowley lie. Sure, he’s being cryptic, trying to speak in code “because the trees have ears”, but when he says it’s for insurance, not a suicide pill, it is for insurance. 

He, more than anyone else, can tell that his relationship with Aziraphale has morphed in such a way over the thousands of years that he knows exposure would put him and, more importantly, put Aziraphale, in danger. We don’t see much of Hell, but we can deduce that if Hell ever found out about it --if it all goes pear-shaped -- they would be subjected to horrific consequences, possibly torture, probably holly water. 

Aziraphale, simply, does not believe him that his only motivation is protection because it is too close to his own fears about Crowley being destroyed.

Which is why I think Crowley’s so upset about the word “fraternize”. First, there is a class element involved with the Victorian use of the word (usually referring to someone of a higher class interacting friendly to a lower class member). Where Aziraphale may have meant comradery (and brotherhood, which also not how Crowley views their relationship) Crowley certainly acts as if he took it to mean Aziraphale was speaking to him like an enemy or an “inferior” species.

This is only further supported by Aziraphale’s accusatory “we may have both started out as Angels, but YOU are fallen”, placing (in my opinion) too much emphasis on Crowley’s fall (a huge retraumatizing trigger for him). But this whole characterization of their relationship is a lie Aziraphale tells himself to repress his fears about Heaven’s traumatic treatment of him. By this point in their partnership (as we’ve seen) both he and Crowley go out of their ways to treat each other as equals. 

To deny it, to repress their feeling is a slap. in. the. face.

Further, the audience for lying clearly matters to Crowley.  In the relative privacy of the park, Aziraphale says “fraternize”, which doesn’t do enough justice for the kind of intimacy the uniquely share. It implies they could be enemies or strangers (which they aren’t, they’re at least friends). Crowley is so intimately aware that even now, in the 1800′s, it’s them (and humanity) against divinity.  And, Crowley refuses to lie to Aziraphale, especially about the sort of relationship they share. Sure he won’t tell the other demons, and sure as hell won’t tell the angels how deep their relationship goes, but in this private moment, where he’s approaching as a partner (not an adversary)? It would be the worst kind of lie. It would ignore or erase the new space they’ve created for themselves where they can be equals.

In the above gif, we see Crowley angry and lash out. He says harsh words and insists that he doesn’t need Aziraphale. 

Since we’re counting, I don’t think this is a lie. Now, no, it is untrue, he clearly does need Aziraphale in his life, but he’s just been smacked in the face with the insinuation that they are not equals, they are not friends, they are enemies, and I believe him at this moment, a very hurt Crowley, decides if that’s how Aziraphale is going to treat him, then Crowley will treat him like he treats everyone else in his life. He doesn’t need them. He doesn’t need God, even though he talks to her; he doesn’t need Hell or Beelzebub, even though he curtsies to them; he doesn’t need Heaven, even though he will endure them for his Angel. So, clearly, if Aziraphale is going to ask to be treated like everyone else, he will. 

At the moment he says I think he means it.  Crowley cannot nor, given how everyone else in the series treats him, should not make time for someone who won’t take his concerns seriously. If Aziraphale is going to act as if he thinks so little of their relationship, then he doesn’t need Aziraphale in his life. Essentially, If he can’t be seen as an equal, he’d prefer not to be seen at all.

A Queer Little Lie

Although, this is a temporary truth, and one Crowley is more than willing to correct because he cares about Aziraphale in a way he never does for his hellish counterparts. Crowley cares too deeply to wish Aziraphale any real harm, even if Aziraphale can’t call a spade a spade. Crowley knows that he’s being lied to. He knows that Aziraphale is as afraid of repercussions as he is. He also knows that Aziraphale is not “out” in the same way he is.  

Although that’s a post for a different day, you can certainly read Crowley and Aziraphale as being different kinds of queer. Crowley is the outed queer, abandoned, kicked out of his home, and really never given the choice to come out of the closet. Like his name, it was done for him. Aziraphale, in contrast, is the closeted queer who either knows his family will reject him, so he does his best passing, or he has been conditioned his whole life to believe being out in the way Crowley is wrong. He knows that his “family” who is supposed to unconditionally love him, will reject him, and so he has developed the protection of lying. It gives him a sense of safety and control over his situation, letting him (albeit unhealthily) cope.  He’s afraid to take that jump over the edge.

So, to protect himself and Crowley, Aziraphale lies.   

Knowing this doesn’t mean Aziraphale isn’t hurting Crowley. He is. 

But, Crowley understands both the fear and pain that comes with the rejection and is doing his best to provide the support that is being denied. He sure as Hell would move heaven and earth to demonstrate the extent of his love and commitment to Aziraphale in a way that Heaven never does.  Where Heaven and Hell lie and gaslight and hurt Azira, Crowley meets him with kindness, even in the face of these lies.

He shows as much in his rescue in 1941, and again when Aziraphale once again lies and says “we’re not friends…I don’t even like you” in the bandstand. These lies actively hurt Crowley but not once does he retaliate with.  Instead, he meets Aziraphale with blunt honesty. Saying “yes you do” doing everything he can to get Aziraphale on the same page, and share their truth.

Look at the above gifs. Not only does Crowley KNOW Aziraphale is lying, but Aziraphale knows it too. While he clearly loves Crowley and has loved Crowley for some time, his inability to work through his anxieties and rely on Crowley as a support system, as a partner, he can’t come to terms with his own trauma.

So, Aziraphale lies.

He lies and he hurts Crowley. He lies and he dismisses Crowley’s honesty. He lies and he harms himself because they both know this is a facade he can’t keep up much longer. He lies, because everything else in his life is unstable, and he’s desperately trying to cling to the stability Heaven claims to provide. And, Crowley still meets him with honesty and forgiveness.

And honestly, it breaks his heart (and mine) to belied to so damn much. Under normal circumstances, Crowley could be patient. He could wait for Aziraphale to come to terms with their relationship almost for forever. But, shit hits the fan, and he needs to show Aziraphale that two of them need to stop dancing, stop being cryptic, and cut through the bullshit for once.

Which brings me to the first Gif of this meta. Take a moment, scroll the ridiculous amount up, and just look at the indignation on his face. in the earlier gif “Would I lie to you?”, 

He clearly consciously makes a point to never lie to Aziraphale, despite it supposedly being “the demon’s way”. Not in anger (like at the bandstand) not even if it’s uncomfortable (like when he’s criticizing Aziraphale for being so clever and so stupid), not even if the angel is (knowingly or unknowingly) hurting him with his lies.

Crowley draws the line at tainting his relationship with the kind of lies Heaven tells, and the kind of disregard Hell tells.  Because despite the lies he’s told by Aziraphale, Crowley knows who he can trust, who he needs on his side, who he wants to spend the end of the world with, and it sure as hell isn’t Hastur or Beelzebub.  

Because at the end of the day, Crowley knows what the two of them share together.  One great way to see this comparison is to checkout @theladyzephyr ‘s meta on Crowley and his glasses. Because while he does let his guard down for Aziraphale (even if only drunk), his autonomy, his consent to be himself is constantly being taken from him.  His name, his glasses, his support system (including Aziraphale), and everything he loves is taken from him. 

Aziraphale, for all his lies, does not cross the most sacred of personal boundaries as Hell does. He genuinely cares for Crowley even if he’s scared, and when the chips are down he will pick Crowley, pick humanity, and pick their side. He shows remorse for his actions and is clearly just as hurt by his own lies as Crowley is. 

More importantly, he comes back. He joins Crowley, and helps support Crowley, and does his best to empower our demon to heal. 

TLDR: Crowley refuses to lie to Aziraphale. Many Hearts are broken. Aziraphale does his best. Someone give Crowley a Hug. 

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk! 

@aardvark-crowley