#this moment I spend the rest of the movie in a trance like state where I FULLY understand how the greeks consumed tragedy

[steveyockey]

I have to say something. zac efron deserves a best actor nomination

[atsumrow]

The Mysterious Girl from my dreams

Summary-Emily wakes up in a closet but that is honestly the least of her concerns right now

Beta we live like dazai but my beta is not sober but i trust their reading skills

a/n so i originally was going to color code it based off of something but now its just going to be color coded as like who is in who’s body? if that makes sense their won’t be a swap EVERY chapter but if its blue that means we are atsushi or emily as atsushi and pink is emily or atsushi as emily?? no clue if that makes sense but it makes sense to me and i don’t expect anyone else to read this

it was small, dark and oh-so-loud. well, it wasn’t really loud but the sound was just irritating, definitely didnt help the feeling coursing though ever inch of my body. it wasn’t exactly painful, at least not in the way i was used too. the tiniest sliver of light was the only thing lighting up my cramped space. it looked like some sort of blanket pallet you would sleep on when watching a movie or spending the night with a friend but more comfortable than layer and layers of blankets.

there really wasn’t anywhere else to investigate as i let my hands drift to the wall with the light peeking out of it, my hands rest there for a moment. it opens easily, revealing a room with biege floors, pristine white walls, and dark colored interior beams. another one of those sleepover pallets things was in the center of the room. I had to crawl out of the incredibly tiny closet; this whole thing felt like some strange dream.

for a moment i just sat there desperately rubbing the sleep from my eyes - nothing nice can last forever, after all, but it seems this dream doesn’t like to leave me. the floor was fairly comfortable - not to hard too sit on, but not scratchy and uncomfortable like carpet. indulging in this dream, i take gentle steps to the door before stepping into the corridor. there's an indistinct dialogue i can’t make out; maybe it was Margaret and Nathalie bickering again. my steps are quiet as i make my way down the hall, where im met with what seems to be a living room and some other smaller area.

something smells good, which makes it more odd that Lucy or anyone hasn't attempted to wake me when their is supposed to be held. even if it was moved, the message should have made it to us. i peer around the corner, only to be met with a girl standing in the middle of a very small kitchen. i’ve never seen a dress like that - it’s intricate, with a orange vine pattern adorning the bottom. the sleeves had the same pattern as the dress, one seemingly tied up to keep it from hanging. the big bow in the back added a cute feel to the elegant dress. i can’t help but admire it.

it was nice admiring the mystery girl from afar, the way her dress sleeve flowed as she walked around to kitchen. her soft voice is what broke me from my trance-like state as i couldn’t quite process what she said. she turned around looking right at me. the name that came out of her mouth was not mine. and that might be the the thing turning this dream into a nightmare.

[gamergirl929]

We Fall In Love With People We (Think) We Can’t Have (Alex Morgan x Reader)

Anonymous Request: Alex Morgan x Reader: They have a friends with benefits relationship, but R catches feelings, so she tells Alex b/c it seems like there were mixed signals indicating that she may like her too, only to be rejected. They stop their sexy times and R finds comfort in Sonny. Over time, Alex notices this and becomes more and more jelly. She snaps when the team starts sharing fan vids of them together. R runs after her when she leaves and then Alex kisses her. Angst and fluff like fuck me up pls.

Mentions of smut and a WHOLEEEEEEEEEEEEE lot of angst.

You should’ve known, you should’ve known, the fleeting touches, the longing gazes, all hints in your mind, were only hints in YOUR mind.  

All of the time you spent together, all of the time you spent waking up at night, the two of you entirely bare, the room clouded with the scent of sex and your bodies sore, meant absolutely nothing to Alex Morgan.  

“You knew when we started this that this was sex and ONLY sex.”  

You remember the look on her face, the complete and utter confusion, mixed with something akin to pity.  

She pitied you.  

Pitied you because you’d fallen in love with her, all those nights you spent by her side, watching her sleep peacefully, your bodies dotted with purple bruises, had meant absolutely nothing to her, while it had meant the world to you.  

You’d nodded, tears in your eyes as you turned and sprinted out of her hotel room, essentially ending the ‘relationship’ or lack thereof between the two of you.  

Nothing would ever be the same between you again, because you had the audacity to fall in love with someone who wouldn’t ever love you back.  

And that someone was Alex Morgan.

                                                           ***

After that night, you steered clear of Alex Morgan, willing your eyes to stay off of her in an attempt to dull the utter heartbreak you were feeling.

“Whoa, what’s wrong with Y/N? She looks heartbroken.” Kelley frowns at the look on your face and Alex sighs, shrugging.  

“I don’t know.”  

Kelley scoffs.  

“Don’t give me that shit Morgan, Emily said Y/N was crying when she came back to their room last night.”

Alex’s blue orbs disappear behind her closed eyelids, a lump forming in the woman’s throat.  

The last thing she EVER had wanted to do was hurt you.  

“I mean, you guys were banging weren’t-

“I don’t want to talk about it, Kelley.” Alex bites, Kelley holding her hands up in surrender.  

“Alright, alright, calm down Jan.”    

Alex glances your way out of the corner of her eye, catching the small smile on your face as Emily wraps her arms around you, the woman giving you a tight squeeze.  

The second your arms slip around her neck, Alex’s stomach twists violently, her heart clenching in her chest.  

She could have that.  

She could have that, but she’d screwed up.  

Screwed up because she’d told you she didn’t feel the same, but in reality, she did, she did feel the same.  

But she was Alex Morgan.  

And there was NO way Alex Morgan could be bisexual.  

Right?

                                                           ***

The more time Alex spent away from you, the more she missed you, missed the feel of the rising and falling of your chest against hers, missed the feel of waking up beside you in the morning, missed the smile on your face that had been directed at her.  

In this case though, that smile wasn’t directed at her.  

It was directed at Emily Sonnett.  

Emily rests her head on your shoulder and moments later, you rest your head on top of hers, the harmless interaction between the two of you making Alex’s stomach twist in jealousy, her eyes burning a hole in the back of Emily’s head.  

“Hey.”  

Alex turns her glare away from Emily as she turns to Kelley, the defender’s eyes widening at the look at her face.  

“Al, they’re just friends.”  

Alex scoffs.  

“It’s not like I care anyway.” She growls, turning away from her best friend.  

Kelley rolls her eyes, lips parting to snark at the forward, but at the look in her blue orbs her mouth snaps shut.  

Alex wasn’t just feeling anger at the sight of you and Emily together, it was sadness as well.  

                                                           ***

“Has she tried to talk to you?” Emily whispers from her place on the bench beside you and you shake her head.  

“No, not once.”  

Emily hums, her hazel orbs locking on the forward’s form, a forward who’s currently glancing your way.  

“I think she wants to.”  

You follow her gaze, catching familiar blue orbs on you before their owner abruptly turns away.

You shrug.  

“What if I don’t want to talk to her?” You mumble, Emily frowning as she places a hand on your back.  

“You do.”  

You turn to Emily with a frown.  

“What if I don’t like what she has to say?” You whisper, trying to hide the tears growing in your eyes.  

Emily cups your cheeks, the woman resting her forehead against yours, uncaring that the two of you are literally being watched by thousands of fans.  

“Listen to me, if she doesn’t want to be with you, it’s her loss.” She whispers, the woman smiling as she kisses your forehead, the blonde, much like yourself forgetting where you’re at in that moment.  

You didn’t bank on the fans taking notice, as well as a certain forward on field, the woman’s hands balling into fists.  

                                                           ***

“Ohhhh, look at the USWNT’s newest shippp!” Megan sings, passing you her phone, a picture of you and Emily on the screen, the blonde’s forehead resting against yours.  

Emily’s cheeks flush, as do yours.  

“Ugh, that picture was taken out of context.” Emily mumbles, swiping Megan’s phone from you, the woman glaring at the screen.  

“C’mon, you guys look cute together.” Lindsey teases.  

Further down the dinner table Alex clutches her fork tightly, a hard lump forming in her throat.

Kelly watches worriedly, Alex’s irritated state noticed by a number of her teammates within her vicinity.  

Christen and Tobin share a glance, as do Ali and Ashlyn, the two turning back to Alex who looks as if she’s about to blow a gasket.

She can feel the silverware bend in her hold, the woman’s stomach cramping.  

She couldn’t believe it, after only 4 months you were flaunting your relationship in front of her like what happened between the two of you hadn't mattered.  

Alex’s heart sinks in her chest.  

She’d done this.

She was the reason you’d even HAD the opportunity to get with Emily.  

She was the reason you were currently finding comfort in arms that weren’t hers. 

Alex shakes her head, blinking back the tears gathering in her eyes, tears she hopes no one sees, tears Kelley sees, tears Tobin and Christen see, tears Ali and Ashlyn see.  

Tears she was shedding from thinking about what could have been.  

What could have been if she hadn’t turned you down.  

What could have been if she realized she loved you sooner.  

                                                           ***

It wasn’t hard to see that Alex Morgan was exhausted, the bags under her blue orbs a dark purple, looking as if she’d either been in a fight, or hadn’t slept in weeks.  

She noticeably had been slower on field, prompting Vlatko to take action, meaning ordering her to get what she needed, rest.

The woman unable to participate in practices and games until she felt better.  

But she wouldn’t feel better, because right now, she was experiencing what you had when she first spurned you.  

She deserved to feel this way.  

“Jan, I can’t see you like this...” Kelley frowns sadly.  

“Like what?” Alex snarks. “I’m fine.”  

“Al, you’re-

“I said I’m fine.” Alex growls, cutting Tobin off, the forward frowning sadly, worriedly.  

“Listen, you can’t stay in bed all day, it’s movie night tonight and you’re coming with us...” Kelley gives her leg a nudge and Alex groans.  

“I’m not going.” She grumbles under her breath, snarling when Christen jerks the covers off of her.  

“Yes, you are. You need to spend time with the team, it’ll help.”  

Alex shakes her head, hiding her face in her pillow.  

“No, it won’t...” She sighs, whispering into the pillow so the others can’t hear.  

“It won’t because she’ll be there.”  

                                                           ***

Unfortunately for Alex, she ends up in the hotel room packed with her teammates for movie night, the forward keeping her distance away from not only you and Emily, but everyone else as well.  

Her teammates worriedly glance her way, though none of them speak, scared that it could drive her back into her hotel room, back into solitude.  

Alex can’t keep her eyes off of you, tired blue orbs on your profile, tired blue orbs that you find yourself gazing into every once in a while, the forward abruptly turning away from you.  

You frown sadly.  

You wanted to help her, you wanted to hold her like you used to, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t because she didn’t reciprocate your feelings, feelings you had yet to get over.  

You could see it, even from across the room, Alex’s eyes were puffy and swollen, despite the time she spent curled up in bed, it looked as if she hadn’t been sleeping. Her skin was pale, lacking the usual glow she had, and lips were cracked, chapped from neglect.  

“Ohhh, look at thissssss.”  

You turn to Ashlyn, the woman’s voice pulling you out of your trance, she and Megan grinning your way.  

“You and Emily have a new fan video.” Megan teases, missing the way that Alex tenses up.  

Emily rolls her eyes.  

“We’re just friends.” She pouts and Ashlyn snorts.  

“NOT according to THIS.” She holds her phone out, sappy music playing through the speakers as photos of you and Emily play on the screen as well as a number of clips where the two of you were celebrating goals, Emily kissing your cheek.  

Abruptly, so abrupt in fact that everyone jumps, Alex moves to her feet and makes a mad dash for the door.  

“Al! Wait!” You call out, chasing after her, but just as you’re slipping through the door you hear another door slam, presumably the one to Alex’s hotel room.  

You move towards the door, wrapping your knuckles against its hard surface.  

“Alex, come out and talk to me, please.” You plea, but your pleas go unanswered.  

You knock until your knuckles flush so red, you know they’ll be bruised in the morning, but you don’t care, you just want to get to her.  

Eventually though, the knocking ceases and on the other side of the door, Alex’s tears begin to fall.  

                                                           ***

Considering you’re in town for a tournament, you don’t do much bus riding, so catching Alex on the bus was a no go, though each and every time you tried to catch her coming out of her hotel room, she’d somehow slip passed you and out of your grasp.  

Attempts to talk Kelley into giving you her hotel key had failed, the defender wanting to protect her best friend, which you completely understood and didn’t blame her for.  

It isn’t till days later that you FINALLY cease your opportunity, catching Alex alone in the locker room after a rough game against Sweden.  

The woman doesn’t even see you coming considering she’s sitting on the bench, her hands covering her face.  

Your teammates silently slip out of the room, giving the two of you the much needed space you so crave.  

“Alex?”  

The forward’s head snaps up, her tired blue orbs wide, she’d been so lost in her pity party at having a terrible game that she hadn’t realized that the locker room was empty and that the two of you were the only ones left.  

Alex jumps to her feet, ready to make a break for it, but the look on your face makes her still, a look of utter sadness, but also, hints of anger.  

“Alex, please tell me what’s going on... I can’t see you like this...”  

Alex closes her eyes, your words falling on deaf ears as she tries to fight back what she’d been wanting to do for months, fought back the urge to run to you and take you into her arms.  

“Are you even listening to me!? ALEX! TALK TO ME DAMN IT!” You snap as you advance on the woman, the woman who can no longer keep herself back.  

Alex’s lips meet yours in a kiss like none you’d ever shared before, her lips soft, the kiss in no way filled with lust, but something else.  

She pulls back, tilting her head to change the angle of the kiss, kisses that are growing more heated, that is until you’re guiding her backwards into a locker, the woman ending up sitting in the locker as the two of you kiss.  

It isn’t long before your tongue is pushing passed Alex’s lips and swiping against her own, the woman moaning into your mouth as her hands run down your back. 

Your tongues tangle, flicking and rubbing against one another in such a way that makes your body shudder, the feeling of her tongue against yours bringing back a multitude of memories, night’s you’d spent together, bare and covered in sweat.  

Alex pushes you back suddenly, guiding you back into a wall, her tongue swiftly dominating your own, that is until the forward starts to slow the kisses down, her tongue no longer in the picture as her lips meet yours in a way that makes your heart warm, a warmth that spreads throughout your chest.  

Alex’s nose brushes your own, you think on accident, but you quickly realize it’s purposeful, a smile stretching across her face, a smile you hadn’t seen in weeks. 

You cup her cheeks, resting your forehead against hers as you stroke the bags under her eyes.  

“I think we need to talk... Don’t you?” You whisper and she nods, blue orbs fluttering shut as she leans into your touch.  

“Yeah, we do.”  

                                                           ***

Your eyes narrow as you stare at Alex, the forward shuffling nervously under you gaze.  

Alex stiffens when you reach for her, taking her hand and leading her to the bed, the two of you sitting on the end of it.  

“Al, please talk to me...” You whisper, stroking the back of her hand with your thumb.  

Alex takes comfort in the feeling the woman’s eyes fluttering shut as she blurts out her confession, a confession that had been bottled up inside, wanting to escape the confides of her throat.  

“I was jealous.” She whispers, the woman unable to open her eyes, unable to find the courage to see your reaction.  

Your brows furrow in question before your eyes widen.  

“Emily?” You ask, the forward tensing.  

You shake your head, chuckling, that chuckle making Alex’s eyes flash open.  

Alex’s heart skips a beat as you cup her cheeks.  

“She was just a shoulder to cry on, we’re only friends.” You whisper, leaning in to rest your forehead against hers.  

“So...” Alex swallows hard.  

“You’re just friends?” She asks and you nod.  

“Just friends.”  

Alex nods, the woman swallowing hard.  

“I’m sorry for what happened...” She whispers, your eyes slamming shut as you pull away, the woman already missing your touch.  

“Does that... Does that mean you just want to be friends?” You ask, the forward shaking her head.  

“No!” She cries, clearing her throat when she realizes she’d basically screamed at you.

“No...” She whispers, cupping your cheeks this time.  

“I didn’t realize my feelings were as strong as they were until I lost you, until I thought you loved someone else.” She whispers, her head hanging in shame.  

“Could you ever forgive me?” She sniffles, eyes welling up with tears as she thinks of the prospect of you not forgiving her.  

You lean in, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.  

“Of course I forgive you.”

Alex’s head perks up, her eyes widening as tears stream down her cheeks, tears you’re quick to wipe away.  

“There’s something I need you to do for me.” You whisper, the woman sighing as she rest her forehead back against yours.  

“Anything.”  

You pull away, kissing her forehead as you give her arm a tug.  

“Get some sleep, I know you’re exhausted.” You say, your index finger brushing beneath her blood shot, red and puffy eyes.  

Alex grabs your hand before you can pull away.  

“Will you...” She swallows hard.  

“Will you stay?” She asks and you smile.  

“Of course.”  

The two of you crawl up to the head of the bed, a grin stretching across your face as Alex spreads your legs and settles on your chest, burying her nose in your neck, the woman releasing a sigh, a relaxed sigh that tells you how much she’d been missing you.  

The woman nuzzles into the soft flesh just behind your ear, remaining silent for a moment before she whispers, words slurring as she fights off sleep.  

“I want to try this... With you...” She whispers, your eyes widening.  

Alex Morgan, the woman who’d spurned your advances before was now asking you if you wanted to take those feelings to the next level.  

You smile, your lips parting to give her an emphatic yes, that is until you realize she’s fast asleep in your arms.  

Your grin, turning your head to kiss her forehead.  

“I want to try this with you too.”

[nerdyfangirl67]

A Piece of You - Criminal Minds Reader Insert

Pairing: Spencer x fem!reader

Warning: Spencer in prison, angst!, language, post prison!Spencer, PTSD symptoms, fluff ending

Word count: 5951

Short summary: Reader finds she is pregnant just as Spencer is sent to prison.

A/N: Y/F/N means your first name. Y/L/N means your last name. Y/N means your name. And Y/C/M means your comfort movie. I chose for the baby in the fic to be a girl, but feel free to change it when you read it. I found a blog post on the internet that stated Reid was in jail for about 84 days, so I added some to accommodate time for travel, etc and am going with it. I also changed a few things, like Spencer coming home without the reader knowing and I didn’t include his mother as much either, to add to the storyline. And I added/made up a few details with the whole prison call/visit things so it may not ring true. Link here: click

A warm pair of lips placing feather-lite kisses on your face pulls you away from the comforting arms of sleep. You sluggishly open your eyes, blinking the blurry figure leaning over you in the darkness of the bedroom into focus.

“Spence?” You drawl out, reaching a hand up to weave into his curly hair. “Don’t go.” He lets out a small laugh as he gently unthreads your hand from his hair. “I’ve got to go Y/N.” He says reluctantly, moving to rest his forehead against yours for a moment. You close your eyes, reveling in the intimacy of the moment. 

“I love you.” You murmur, your breath fanning across Spencer’s face. You reach up enough to press your lips against Spencer’s in a tender kiss. “Come home safe.” 

“I love you too Y/N. Go back to sleep.” He says as he brings the comforter back up over your shoulders. “I’ll be home before you know it.” 

If you had known that the kiss you’d given Spencer before he left for his trip to Mexico would have been the last you’d be able give him for the next 89 days (you had been counting), you would’ve made it more than a sleepy, wet kiss as you yearned for your bed. You would have hugged him tight, pressing your face into his chest, deeply breathing his musk in as you listen to his heartbeat. You would have pulled him in for two, three, four more kisses, murmuring words of love between each.

Most importantly, you would have told him what you had found out only the night before when he had been at work, that you were pregnant. If only you had known what was to happen, you could have saved yourself from the hell to come. 

---

No matter the case, Spencer always made sure to call, or at the very least text, you once a day. But after two days of radio silence, you were starting to worry. You had called him twice, leaving him a message each time asking him to call you when he could. You sent him quite a few text messages as well, becoming more and more concerned as time passed but you receive no call back from him.

By the fifth day, despite having sent a number of additional text messages and leaving enough voicemails to fill Spencer’s inbox, you still hadn’t heard from him. You are so worried that you can hardly focus at work. In fact, you are so distracted by thoughts of Spencer being kidnapped or him being shot and bleeding out in an alley that you got pulled into your boss’s office and reprimanded for your “airhead behavior”, as your boss had put it. When you arrive home, you are gripped with such anxiety and fear that you can only grab one of Spencer’s large sweaters and curl up in bed with it. You can’t even bring yourself to take off your shoes. 

The ringing of your phone early the next morning pulls you from the trance you had been in all night. You frantically start looking for your phone and quickly find it on Spencer’s side of the bed, answering it without looking at the number. 

“Spencer? Is that you? Are you okay?” You blurt out, not allowing the other person to talk before you are firing questions at them.

“Is this Y/F/N Y/L/N?” The voice on the other side asks quickly, stopping you. You immediately know it isn’t Spencer, just as much as you know that it isn’t someone you know. 

“Yes. May I ask who this is and what it is regarding?” You ask nervously, your heart quickening as you wait what feels like an eternity for them to answer. 

“I’m Penelope Garcia and I work with Spencer at the FBI.” She pauses for a moment, as if trying to find the right words to continue. “You were the most called number in the call log on Spencer’s phone and I felt like this is something you should know, as he seems to be someone very important to you, and vice versa.” The brokenness of her voice causes the worry in your chest to bubble up again. “Spencer is in jail...in Mexico.” 

“Wh-what?” You struggle to wrap your mind around what she is saying as you climb out of bed, rushing to find your discarded jacket and set of keys from the night before. You aren’t entirely sure why you’re rushing, or even where you’d be going, but that doesn’t slow you down. “Was there a case in Mexico? What happened?” 

“There wasn’t a case. He took some personal days and went to Mexico for some experimental medication for his mother. He...um..he was arrested for murder, but he doesn’t remember anything.” 

You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to sit in one of the living room chairs as you try to fight off the sobs rising in your chest. “Is he, is he going to stay in Mexico? I mean, is he, no, when will...he didn’t do it.” You stammer out, as you try to slow your racing thoughts, stop the inevitable tears from falling, and make your word coherent. 

“Miss Y/L/N, I don’t have the answers to those questions yet. But, I can keep you updated if you’d like. The team left a few hours for Mexico to help Reid. They want to get him transferred to a prison in the states.” Her voice is comforting, but does nothing to tamp down the feeling of impending disaster that is rising in you. You manage to get out a shaky goodbye to Penelope before you lose grip on your emotions.

You struggle to get a proper breath through the onslaught of tears as the reality of the situation hits you. Your phone clatters to the floor as you bury your face in your arms, drawing your legs up to yourself as you try to push it all away. Eventually the tears slow and stop. You gradually unfurl from the cramped up position you had been in. You numbly make your way to the kitchen and somehow manage to make yourself breakfast. The rest of the day passes in a hazy blur, with you almost forgetting that you were supposed to be at work (you called in sick once you remembered, but your boss wasn’t happy the call was coming in three hours late). You spend the night, clutching Spencer’s pillow and wishing that this were all a dream. You don’t fall asleep until the early hours of the morning, when the exhaustion of the last few days finally overtakes you.

The ringing of your phone wakes you later that morning, serving as a reminder that you have to face the day ahead, as much as you don’t want to.

“Y/F/N? This is Penelope with the FBI. I called you yesterday about Spencer.” Her greeting has you sitting up, trying to clear the foggy cloud from your brain so you could think. 

“Penelope, have you found anything else out? How is Spencer?” You plow over any possible pleasantries as you ask the question that had been on your mind for the last day.

“The team was able to get him extradited to the United States.” She starts, her words helping to ease some of the anxiety that had built up since you had learned about Spencer’s imprisonment. “He isn’t out yet, but the team is working on his case. In the meantime, I’m setting up a visitor schedule. If you’d want to come down to Quantico, I can help you fill out the necessary paperwork and get on the schedule to see him, if you’d like.” You quickly voiced your agreement and after getting directions and setting a time, you hung up with Penelope, your mood considerably elevated for the first time in days. 

A glance at the clock has you scrambling out of the bed and to your closet. You had completely forgotten about the doctor’s appointment you had scheduled days ago, before your world had been flipped upside down. You manage to get dressed and ready to go in less than ten minutes, arriving at your appointment only a few minutes late.

Your appointment is short as the doctor just does a routine exam, confirming your pregnancy and letting you know that the baby was healthy so far. You receive a list of different things to avoid (such as caffeine and smoking) and a few different things that are beneficial to your, and the baby’s, health (such as prenatal vitamins). After your appointment, you quickly stop at the store to pick up a few things suggested by the doctor, before heading back to Spencer’s apartment, where you had been staying. Although he had never officially asked you to move in, you had been staying at his apartment most nights for the past few months and had your own drawer and spot in his closet. And with the events of the past few days, it had just felt right to stay, almost as if you had one small part of him still with you. 

 You go to bed early that night, really early, in hopes of getting the time to pass quicker. The prospect of seeing Spencer has you anxious and excited at the same time, making sleep nearly impossible. After a few hours of tossing and turning, with no sleep, you climb out of bed and get dressed. You grab your purse and keys before leaving the apartment. You walk the short distance to your car and start it. Despite knowing that you would be hours early to your meeting with Penelope, you still start the drive to Quantico and the FBI building. 

After almost an hour in the car, and twenty minutes with security (in which they had to confirm your meeting with Penelope before they gave you a visitor credential), you finally made your way to the floor where the BAU team worked. Your eyes scan the bullpen and immediately you recognize Spencer’s desk, even though you had never seen it before. You recognize the pattern in which the items are placed and the semi-clearness of his desk space; it is identical to the desk he uses for work at home. You make your way towards it, tracing a finger along the fake wood edge as you take a seat in his desk chair. Sitting here, you can almost feel his presence behind you, his voice speaking up, sharing an idea he had or some crazy fact, his fingers tapping along the edge of his desk. You take comfort in the feeling as you rest your head in your arms on his desktop. It isn’t long before you are closing your eyes and falling into a light sleep.

A tap on your shoulder jerks you awake, causing you to fly up in a sitting position and blink at the harsh light of the bullpen. “You must be Y/F/N Y/L/N. I’m Penelope Garcia.” A cheery blonde, wearing a bright orange dress and matching hair accessory, as well as holding a bright pink pom topped pen. 

You stand, smoothing out any wrinkles in your outfit before offering a hand out to her. “Yes, that’s me.” She takes your hand but instead of shaking it, pulls you into a hug. You are taken back by her forwardness, but give her a squeeze in return.

“Let’s go see what we can do to get you on the visitor list.” She says softly, leading the way to what you could only describe as her office, although it more resembled a cave, filled with more types of technology than you would know what to do with.

Penelope gestures to a black swivel desk chair set next to the wall. “Here, take a seat. I’m going to pull up Spencer’s information and see if we can get you some visitor paperwork.” She says as you take a seat in the chair. The longer you sit there, the more nervous you feel. Unconsciously, you rest your hand on your lower stomach, right over the small bump that was starting to form. 

You don’t realize that you are zoned out until Penelope clears her throat. “Are you okay?” She nods at your hand resting on your stomach. You quickly pull it away, straightening up in your seat. “Yes, I’m fine.”

She gives you a long stare before speaking. “I have some good news and some bad news Y/N.” You nod, waiting for her to speak with bated breath. “The good news - you can call Spencer.” 

You wait for her to continue, but she doesn’t. “And the bad news?”

“I can’t add you to the visitor list. It seems that Spencer doesn’t want you to come see him as a visitor.” She can’t look you in the eye as she says that.

You are quiet after that, not entirely sure what to say. The thought that he doesn’t want to see you hurts. But you also know Spencer, and whatever the reason, you know he has one.

“He can take a call in about five minutes if you want to get on the call list.” She says, looking up from one of her monitors at you. You nod quickly, before voicing your agreement. The five minutes of waiting seemed to go on forever, but finally, she is patching through to a prison phone. “Here you go, he should be on the other line now.” The fact that she immediately gave the phone to you, instead of taking some of the time to talk to him, had you smiling gratefully at her. ‘Thank you’, you mouth as you take the phone. 

“Spencer? Is that you?” You ask, your heart in your throat as you wait to hear his voice.

“Y/N, it’s so good to hear your voice.” He speaks quietly, the low quality of the phone call causing his voice to crackle.

“I know you didn’t do it Spencer. Whatever they are saying, it isn’t true.” You whisper, clutching the handset close to your ear, as if that would bring him closer to you. 

“Y/N...I don’t know-” He starts but you cut him off, knowing he was going to tell you he wasn’t sure what had happened.

“I know Spencer, but I also know you. And that isn’t who you are.” You say thickly, as you fight back the coming tears. “I want to see you Spencer. Why don’t you have me on your visitor list?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want you to see me here.” You start to argue that it doesn’t matter, but some yelling in the background cuts you off, after which Spencer says, “I’ve got less than a minute Y/N before I’ve got to hang up.” He says solemnly, the sorrow in his voice echoing the sorrow you felt. 

You push aside the topic of seeing him, not wanting to waste what little time you had left talking to him by arguing. “I love you Spencer. Don’t forget that okay? I don’t care how long it takes, we-I will be here when you come home. You have a lot of people here in your corner Spencer. They will get you out.” You push back the tears as you talk, not wanting him to hear you cry.

“Gosh, I love you and I miss you. I wish I was th-” His voice is cut off, followed shortly by a dial tone.

You grip at the handset, calling “Spencer? Spencer?!”, wishing for him to respond.

“I’m sorry Y/N. The call ended.” Penelope says quietly. You hand over the handset, moving to sit back in the swivel chair against the wall, roughly wiping away the evidence of your tears as you do.

“What do we do now?” You ask through the tears.

“We wait. The team is working on his case and I will keep you updated on everything that happens. Do you need anything?” She asks, giving you a good look.

You are telling her before you consciously realize what you are doing. “I-I’m pregnant. I just found out and I haven’t had the chance to tell Spencer. I don’t know what to do. I want to tell him when I can see him face to face, when he can enjoy it for what it is, a blessing. But I hate hiding things from him.”

Penelope gives out a little squeal, bouncing up from her chair to hug you tight. “Oh, you are gonna have a baby Reid!” She says loudly, taking a step back from you. The look on your face must have given away the shock on your face because she is quickly apologizing. “Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. What can I do to help Y/N?”

“I just, I need someone to talk to. I miss him, a lot. It’s hard to be going through this alone.” You whisper, looking down at your hands in your lap. 

“Girl, you don’t have to ask. I’d love to be your friend.” She says excitedly, giving you a soft shoulder bump. “And I’m going to do everything I can to get the boy wonder home to you.” She gives you a small smile. “And your little one.”

---

The days follow a routine after that. Work, talking to Penelope, and the occasional doctor’s appointment. Penelope comes to some of the appointments as support, which you appreciate, and when you find out the gender, she insists on going shopping for baby items with you. You are able to talk to Spencer a few more times, although each phone call is shorter than the last, and leaves you missing him even more. 

Each doctor’s appointment is harder than the last. All you could think of when you hear the baby’s heartbeat is that Spencer wasn’t there. All you could think of when you feel the baby move for the first time is that Spencer might never be able to feel your baby move like that. He might never get the chance to feel your baby kick. All you can think of when you hear the gender of your baby is that Spencer might never get to experience that excitement, that joy, of imagining all the future things that might be in store for the baby. 

---

Late one evening in early May, after a long day at work (which you had spent almost entirely on your feet) and a feeling of nausea that had lasted all day, you dig through Spencer’s side of the closet and grab one of his cardigans. You pull it on, wrapping around you as well as you can with your growing belly getting in the way. 

You grab one of the many books resting on Spencer’s side table, taking it with you as you head to the living room. You pull the afghan blanket off of the back of the leather wingback, carrying it with you as you move to the dark leather couch. You get comfortable, wrapping the blanket around your legs and waist before opening the random book you had grabbed.

It isn’t long before the story has your eyelids drooping and your muscles relaxing, giving into the cloud of exhaustion that hung over you. The book, forgotten and half-open, falling to the floor doesn’t wake you, and neither does your cell phone, distant and tinny, as it rings from the bedroom. You don’t wake at the jingling of a key in the lock or the opening of the apartment door. However, the heavy thud that follows the apartment door falling shut has you jerking awake, one hand coming to rest on the swell of your abdomen, the other on the back of the couch. You struggle a bit to sit up, but when you do, after taking a moment to study the intruder, you realize it’s Spencer.

“Spencer?” You whisper, moving slowly from the couch, not entirely sure if he was real or a figment of your imagination. Either way, you didn’t want to scare him away. You stop when you are a foot from him. You search his light brown, almost hazel eyes, the pain and darkness within them, swirling around and hardening his expression. You tentatively reach out with your hand to caress his face. Your fingers slowly graze his stubble covered jaw before you move to rest it against his cheek. 

He leans into your touch, bringing his large, rough hand up to cover yours. Your eyes fill with tears, causing your view of him to become blurry and before you can stop yourself, you are throwing your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as you can get. 

He is quick to return the hug, but after a brief moment, he becomes stiff, his arms sliding loosely down your back. You step back, feeling hurt and confused at his sudden rejection of your affection.

“What’s wrong?” You murmur as you roughly wipe a hand across your face, trying to get rid of the tears that were running down your face. 

“You’re pregnant.” He states, his eyes no longer looking at your face, but instead, your belly.

Your heart beats faster, a rush of excitement going through you. This was it, the moment you’d been waiting for. You’d finally get to tell Spencer that he was going to be a father.

“Spencer, it’s ours.” You answer softly, gently taking his hand in yours and placing right above where the baby typically kicked. “You’re going to be a father.” 

“I-I am?” He questions in disbelief. His hand, which had been rigidly resting on your belly, slowly relaxes just as the baby kicks. He jerks his hand away, stepping back and bumping into the door. He brings his hands up, pushing them into his hair. His fingers grip onto the long, curly locks as uses his palms to cover his eyes. 

“No, this isn’t happening, it’s a dream. I don’t deserve this.” He is rambling now as he slowly slides down the door, landing in a sitting position. His face is still covered with his hands as he continues to ramble. “This isn’t real. I don’t deserve this.” 

“Spencer?” You murmur, keeping your voice low, but audible as you kneel down beside him. You place a gentle hand on his arm, afraid that your touch might startle him. He doesn’t move as he continues to talk to himself. You bring your other hand up to cradle his still covered face. You stay this way for a long time, holding him as much as he’ll allow in his closed off position. Eventually, he stops muttering to himself and is quiet. You shift then, until you're sitting next to him against the door. 

“Lie down, Spencer.” You whisper softly, brushing a lock of his hair back away from his face when he turned to face you. You slide your hand from his hair and over his shoulder, gently pulling him down towards you. He didn’t resist, placing his head in your lap and allowing you to run your fingers through his hair. 

The two of you stay that way until your butt goes numb from sitting in the same place for so long. You squeeze Spencer’s shoulder with your hand to get his attention. “Let’s go to bed, Spence.” You say. He slowly gets up, offering you a hand as he does, avoiding any accidental brushing of your stomach as he did. You keep his hand in yours as he leads the way to the bedroom, only letting go when you move to your side of the bed and get in. He is gone for a few minutes, coming back with a low-slung pair of gray sweatpants and an old college T-shirt on. He gets in bed, but instead of wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close as he usually did, he simply laces his fingers through yours. 

Weeks pass this way, with you and Spencer going back to life as it was, or at least as much as the two of you could with Spencer’s new work schedule and the fact that you were getting closer and closer to your due date. The fact that things remained the same though, as they had been when Spencer arrived home for the first time, was what worried you.

Never once did Spencer engage in the conversations you started about the baby or the nursery you wanted in the small spare room across from the bedroom you and Spencer shared. Whenever you commented that the baby was kicking, he found some excuse to leave the room. He still only ever held your hand at night, completely avoiding your ever-growing belly both in bed and anywhere else. It was almost as if he was trying to pretend as if you weren’t actually pregnant, as if what was happening wasn’t reality.  Not only were you constantly uncomfortable, tired and just all around ready for the baby to come, but you were frustrated that Spencer still acted as if you weren’t pregnant, as if anytime within the next few weeks you wouldn’t be handed a newborn, making the two of you parents. You had finally had enough when you had mentioned going shopping for baby supplies about two weeks prior to your due date and he ignored you, continuing to wash the dishes. At first you thought he hadn’t heard you, so you repeat yourself, but when he acted much the same way a second time, you slam your hand on the table.

“Spencer, you can’t ignore this pregnancy. It may not be something you want right now, or ever, but you can’t just ignore it.” You snap at him, the irritation you had been feeling at his callous behavior finally surfacing. He doesn’t answer as he continues to wash the dishes from dinner. You can tell he heard you though, by the unnecessary sheer force he was using to scrub the plate in his hand.

“Spencer,” you pause, waiting until he is looking at you before continuing. “You have to find a way to accept it. This baby is coming.” Your tone is softer now, but your words don’t hold any less bite.

“I can’t accept it Y/N. Accepting it means it’s reality.” He lets out a harsh, joyless laugh. “And the reality is that I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve a baby. And I definitely don’t deserve this life with you.” He is no longer facing you, rather his back is to you, his shoulders tensed and hunched. 

You place a tender hand on his elbow, wanting him to turn so you could see his face. Instead he roughly pulls his elbow out of your hold, flinging soapy water through the air before returning to the plate. “Spencer, look at me.” You try to speak clearly, steadily, but your voice cracks, betraying the emotion behind your words. 

He does as you ask, but his face is twisted and dark in a way you had never seen before. “Damnit Y/N. You have no idea what I’ve done or who I am.” He is yelling at you now, waving a half washed dish to emphasize his point, causing you to take a step backwards. “You think I should be the father of that child,” he gestures wildly at your belly, “when you don’t even know who I am, what I am.” He drops the plate and the sponge, letting them clatter loudly against the metal basin of the sink, as he walks towards the front door of the apartment, his hands still dripping wet. 

“Where are you going?” Your words are barely audible as you try to force them past the growing lump in your throat. 

He ignores your question as he grabs his jacket from the coat rack by the door and leaves the apartment. The loud thud of the door closings clangs against your ears, the tears you had been trying to hold back freely falling now. You were beyond angry at him, despite knowing you shouldn’t be because he had gone through hell the past few months. You couldn’t bring yourself to wait for him to come back. You were tired of the constant bickering and the numerous different times he had chosen to ignore any mention of your pregnancy or the baby.

You quickly fill your duffle bag with the things you’d need for a few days as you called Penelope. The phone rings three times before she answers with a bright, cheery “hello, Garcia.” 

“Penelope, hey. It’s Y/N. Can I stay at your place for a few nights?” You ask as you zip your bag closed. “I need some space from Spencer.” 

“Of course girl. You’re welcome anytime.” She says warmly. “I’ll get the couch made up and Y/C/M queued up on the TV.”

“Thanks Penelope. I’ll see you soon.” You end the call and upon reaching the kitchen, you find a piece of paper and a pen.

Spencer,

I am going to stay with Penelope for a few days. I just need some space.

I’ll be back in a few days.

I love you.

Y/N

You magnet the note to the fridge, where Spencer will be able to find it. You then grab your bag and make your way out of the apartment and down to your car. The drive to Penelope’s doesn’t take long, and when you knock on her door, she is there, holding a pint of your favorite ice cream and the TV remote. “Come here girl.” She proclaimed, pulling you into a side hug. 

The two of you watched feel-good movies well into the night. It is really hard for you to get comfortable, despite being on Penelope’s comfortable sofa, but you chalk it up to being 38 weeks pregnant and partaking in a ‘girls’ sleepover’. When you finally become too tired to keep your eyes open, you rifle through your bag, finding your toothbrush and toothpaste. “I’m going to brush my teeth Penelope.” You say, standing up to go to the bathroom. A wet sensation washing all down your legs has your frozen in place. The pinching sensation in your back intensifies, causing you to sit back down. “Penelope..” You call through the pain. 

“Huh? Y/N?” Penelope answers groggily, sitting up from her relaxed position on the oversized chair. If the situation weren’t so serious, you’d be laughing at the way her hair was standing up in random directions.

“Penelope, I think I need to go to the hospital.” You say, letting out a breath as the pain subsided. She is at your side within moments. “What’s wrong? Is it-oh.” Penelope stops as she sees the evidence of your leaking amniotic fluid on pants. “Let’s go Y/N. We’ve got a baby Reid on the way.” She says cheerily, helping you up. She grabs your bag, which was sitting by the door and helps you out to your car, opening the passenger door for you. The drive to the hospital goes much slower than you would like as a combination of traffic and increasing contractions makes the thirty minute drive feel twice as long. 

Upon reaching the emergency room, you are wheeled into a private birthing room with Penelope following closely behind. She stays with you throughout the next six hours of labor, leaving only once near the end. The closer the birth of your child gets, the foggier you feel. At one point, someone else enters the room, hovering near the head of your bed, but you can’t focus enough to see who it is.

After six hours and twenty-eight minutes of labor, you give birth to a beautiful baby girl. Shortly after birth, she is placed on your chest, a bright pink and green striped blanket placed over her backside. You laugh through the tears as you look into her eyes for the first time, an overwhelming feeling of love overtaking you. The hustle and clatter of the doctors around you slowly fade away as you get lost looking at the face of your newborn daughter.

“Y/N, she’s…” Spencer’s voice startles you as he trails off, causing you to take in his lanky form, framed by the hospital room door. “I...I don’t know what to say.”

“This baby, she’s a piece of you and me and if all I’ll ever get is a piece of you, then I’ll be happy. I love you and I want this life with you, but I can’t force you to love us either Spencer.” You pause, wiping away the tears falling down your face in frustration. “No matter what you think Spencer, I won’t ever stop loving you, just as this little girl won’t ever go a day without knowing who her father truly is. A kind, compassionate man who gave himself wholly and completely for the people he loved, regardless of what that meant for him. That’s who her father is.” You are looking at the baby in your arms now, her bright wide-eyed look bringing a small smile to your face.

You aren’t paying enough attention to Spencer to realize that he had come closer, almost to your bed, and was now staring at the girl in your arms in amazement. “She’s so small.” His words are thick with emotion and cause you to lift your head to look at him. His hazel eyes are glistening with unshed tears as he stares at his daughter.

“Do you want to hold her?” You question, slowly moving her towards his hands, which were hanging awkwardly out in front of him, as if he had anticipated your question. He hesitates a moment before nodding so you place her in his arms.

He cradles her against his chest, holding her as if she was made of glass. His eyes never stray from her face as they study her features, almost as if he was memorizing what she looked like in case he never got to see her again. You lean back against the stiffly starched hospital pillows as you watch them, exhaustion pulling at you.

“You would never have to force me to love her, or you.” His words snap you from the light doze you had fallen into. He is no longer standing as he watches the baby in his arms, now he is sitting in the chair next to your bed, the baby sleeping soundly in his arms. His eyes bore into yours as if he is trying to tell you with his eyes what he was struggling to with his words. 

“I have never stopped loving you.” He looks down at the baby girl in his arms, running a gentle finger over her small cheek. “I just don’t understand what I did to deserve this, to deserve you and her.”

His words break your heart and you place a hand on his knee. “Spencer, of all the people in the world, you deserve this. You deserve love and a family. You do. And I’ll be here, no, we’ll be here everyday to remind you, of who you are and what you do deserve.” You whisper, squeezing his knee as you look at him through teary eyes. 

He leans forward to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Thank you.” Those two words, uttered softly near your ear, hold more meaning than the typical words of gratitude and they meant the world to you. They meant he would stay, even if it wasn’t always easy, even if it wasn’t always what he felt he deserved, he would stay.

Tagging: @twilightlover2007 @brandydel @thisiscalm-andits-doctor (I added a few more of you who liked the post I made about this fic. I hope that’s okay!) @aaronhotchnerr @emofairyprincessofarkansas @sunflowersandotherthings @impala1967dwinchester 

[deannaroxannewrites]

Tropetember Day 3 - Hurt/Comfort / Sickfic / Whump

No work today, Captain's orders

Pairing: Steve Rogers x GN!Reader

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

TW: Sickness, tooth rotting fluff

AN: Day 3 of @tropetember. Just a fluffy little sickfic with our favourite soft boi.

Find this story on Ao3 here.

Word Count: 1.2k

Avengers Tower, previously known as Stark Tower, has a number of different uses. The basement holds the R&D department, lower levels house Stark Industries offices, and the middle floors hold the Avengers support and S.H.I.E.L.D liaison teams. Then, at the very top of the tower, there are a number of large penthouse suites allocated to each of the Avengers.

Although you aren't a direct member of the team, you also have an officially assigned room in the guest floors. It's a natural result of you having to stay over far too many times due to your long hours. Mr Stark himself had insisted on it. So it was unsurprising when everyone woke up one Tuesday and realised you had stayed over. What was surprising though, was that it was nearly 10:30am and you didn’t seem to have stirred.

Sleeping in this late was completely out of character for you and, being the responsible and caring friend it is, Steve took upon himself to check on you.

He knocks gently on your door before poking his head into the room. He couldn’t see much though as the blinds were still closed and the suite was in total darkness.

“J.A.R.V.I.S?” Steve called quietly, “Are they awake?”

“Not currently” came the computer's response. “They have been awake on and off throughout the night vomiting. You can currently find them in the bathroom.”

Steve nods, knowing the computer will not be offended at the lack of verbal response, and heads to the bathroom. He’s been in this suite enough times to spend time with you that he doesn’t even need his enhanced vision to find it.

What he finds in the bathroom though, breaks his heart.

There you are, pale and shivering, curled up next to the toilet. You look terrible and, when he gently places his hand on your forehead, he realises you also have a fever.

The sudden contact with your skin disturbs you and you blink your bleary eyes up at him, seemingly not recognising him at first. It takes a few seconds for the haze to clear and for you to quietly whimper his name.

“I know baby” he responds, trying to sound as soothing as possible. ”I know. How are you feeling?”

You shake your head slightly, not able to think clearly enough to narrate your current state.

“Ok, that’s ok” he says, sitting next to you and pulling you into his side. You snuggle into him, absorbing the warmth and comfort he offers.

“J.A.R.V.I.S? Can you notify Tony of what’s going on and tell the team I won’t be training with them today?”

J.A.R.V.I.S replies in the affirmative and Steve turns his attention back to you.

“Do you still feel like you’re going to be sick or just generally not good?”

Steve can practically see your brain buffering as you think through a response. It's a little unnerving given how in command and quick witted you normally are.

“Just gross. Achy. Wanted to go back to bed but too tired.”

He hums gently and slowly manoeuvres the pair of you to standing. He gets you seated on the edge of the bath, propped up against the wall, before grabbing a washcloth and damping it.

The cloth feels heavenly on your skin, wiping away the sweat and general ickyness of being ill. He runs the cloth gently over your face and arms, not going any further than that to try and preserve your modesty. You hum gently in appreciation.

Once Steve is happy that you’re feeling a bit better for being a little cleaner, he scoops you up and carries you to the bedroom. The covers are quickly turned down and the next thing you know, you’re surrounded by the tower's extremely high thread count sheets.

A small noise of protest falls from your lips as Steve moves to stand up from the edge of the bed. A gentle hand running up your arm settles you a little but he can see that you don’t want him to leave.

And so, he surrenders to the inevitable. He strips off his jeans, leaving himself in boxers and a t-shirt and settles himself onto the bed next to you.

You immediately snuggle into him and are out like a light.

--------

Waking up when you've been ill is always disorienting. Your head feels like it's full of cotton wool and you're just generally feeling a bit rough. You take a moment to simply exist in the quiet, cuddling up to the body next to you.

It's about that time that your brain catches up. Who the heck is in your bed?

Slowly and carefully, you peel yourself away from the man's chest and are met by a stunning pair of blue eyes. It brings back some hazy memories of Steve taking care of you and you refusing to let him leave. You feel a wave of gratitude wash over you.

Reassured, you lower yourself back down to settle against him, pressing a soft kiss against the nearest part of him.

"Thank you. For looking after me"

He squeezes you lightly then presses a kiss to your forehead.

"Anything for you, doll."

You smile where you're pressed into his chest. Whatever did you do to deserve this man?

You both lay there for a while, enjoying the comfort of each other's company. It's nice, just laying in the darkness and feeling his solid chest underneath your head as he breathes. It's almost meditative. You've basically been lulled into a trance when J.A.R.V.I.S interrupts.

"Mr Stark was wondering if you were feeling up to watching a movie in the main living space."

You glance at Steve, see his soft smile and answer in the affirmative.

"Mr Stark asked me to advise you that it's a bring your own duvet event, but that snacks and beverages will be provided."

You snicker to yourself at Tony's phrasing while assuring J.A.R.V.I.S you'll be there momentarily. Steve helps you up, gathering the duvet in his other arm as he props you up for the walk.

"You sure you're going to be OK?" He checks in with you. He's such a gentleman.

You nod and together you make your way to the main space.

Tony's set up a projector, using the massive back wall as a screen. Around the space, the many sofas have been adjusted to accommodate the rest of the group who are all getting settled in.

Smiles and quiet well wishes greet you as everyone notices your presence in the doorway. Tony ushers you and Steve onto a sofa in the middle, the table in front of which is already stocked with water and tissues with an emergency bucket (according to the label Clint had added) within arms reach. You're also assured that snacks will be brought to you as required.

Even though you're still sick; with your favourite comfort film on the projector and surrounded by your friends, everything sucks a little less. Plus, being tucked up under a duvet with your own personal super soldier to cuddle isn't exactly a bad place to be.

And you pretend not to notice Nat taking pictures of you and Steve.

[planetsano]

high kisses.

prompt: in which kirishima, kaminari and the reader have a routine where they get high, then, well, makeout.

pairing: eijirou kirishima x reader x denki kaminari,

warnings: stoner!au, drug use (marijuana), aged up (18+).

note: this was extremely self indulgent, I just want to make out with my two goofy boys while we're giggly and faded. also my requests are open. don't be a stranger, hot stuff!

word count: 900+

"It's been forever.." Kaminari whined, lazily throwing his head back onto the back of the couch then looking over at (Name) and Kirishima. (Name)’s legs were up to her chest as she played a game on her phone. She had a smiley Kirishima beside her resting his head on her shoulder and actively giving her pointers and commentary on how to pass a level she was struggling with.

They all took an edible nearly an hour ago and Kaminari was getting impatient but all (Name) did was giggle at the blonde’s pouty and whiny state. It was endearing.

"Give it a few more minutes okay, Denki?" (Name) looked up from her phone and smiled at him. Kaminari groaned causing Kirishima to chuckle. If he was being honest he was starting to feel the effects

“Come ‘ere.” She patted the empty space next to her on the couch.

“Spend some time with us, pika.” Kirishima added.

Everyone was feeling euphoric.

(Name) felt heavy, so heavy that it felt like she might sink slowly into the floor as if it was made of quicksand, but despite how her body was felt, she was having contradicting thoughts. She found herself imagining she was on a big, white and fluffy cloud on a nice sunny day with clear blue skies. (Name) smiled at the thought of what a cloud would taste like. What if she had a big spoon and decided to scoop some of it up.. maybe it would taste like vanilla pudding or something sweet like cotton candy? But she was soon pulled out of her thoughts upon hearing the boys start giggling, eventually erupting in laughter at a scene from the movie that had been playing on the TV in front of them. She nearly forgot that they were even watching a movie so wrapped up in her mind. Admittedly, the movie was starting to bore her.

(Name) looked over to the redhead seated beside her and smiled. Kirishima's hair was down versus his usual spiky updo. His hair was somewhat in his face but she could clearly see his eyes which were lidded and slightly red. He had a goofy smile plastered on his face at the current comedy playing on the TV. He was high and she wanted to play.

“Hey.” Her dainty hand palming the side of his face to turn his attention to her.

“Hey.” Kirishima smiled though a bit surprised at her sudden interest.

Even though he's been friends (and more than just friends) with her for sometime now she still made him nervous every time she got affectionate like this. They were good nerves though, like butterflies in his tummy and flushed cheeks and such. She was just so-

“Do you think I'm pretty, Eiji?” (Name)’s voice was so soft, but so provoking and Kirishima absolutely loved how prettily his name rolled off her tongue. Her head was tilted in an almost innocent manner and tiniest of smiles playing on her plump glossed lips. A few loose strands of hair in her face making her look like a mischievous little girl who was looking for trouble. Kirishima was in awe, he really wanted to kiss her. The movie was long forgotten at this point.

“Aw man, you're like.. the prettiest girl ever.” Kirishima says in a daze-like response that made her give him a sweet smile. He couldn't help it but he began staring at her lips so intently. (Name) noticed this and bit her bottom lip in a teasing manner, she knew what he wanted but now it was the matter of who was going to give in first.

“You know what? I see how it is,” Kaminari’s voice pulled the two out of their trance. “Leaving me out like this. Tsk.” His arms snaked around (Name)’s waist hugged her securely.

(Name)'s and Kirishima’s attention were on Kaminari now, who was resting his head in the crook of (Name)’s neck looking between the two with playful eyes.

“Feeling lonely?” Kirishima chuckled.

“Don't let me stop you lovebirds.” Kaminari mumbled before littering light kisses on her shoulder and neck.

“Hey..” (Name) pouted at his comment. She didn't mean for him to feel left out, Kirishima just looked so handsome just sitting there she wanted his attention.

“I'm kidding.. Kiss him, sweet pea.” Kaminari planted one more kiss on the base of her neck. “You know you want to.” Kaminari gave the redhead an encouraging smile.

Kirishima leaned in and finally closed the gap between his and her lips sealing the kiss. Her lips were sweet and sugary from the previous gummy worms she had popped in her mouth to satisfy her munchies. Kirihima couldn't get enough, his lips moved against hers slowly, almost painfully slow, savoring every single second of the moment. (Name) felt Kaminari’s breath tickling her neck as he watched the two kiss with a content smile on his face.

All was well until Kaminari blew a raspberry on her neck making her jerk away. Kirishima didn't mind though, he was left swaying and smiley.

“That tickles, you weirdo!” (Name) giggled looking at the blond. Kaminari smiled at her and captured her lips against his own. It was different, it felt much more fervent and sloppy. She could smell his cologne as his hands snuck their way up her shirt massaging random patterns into her skin. Kirishima watched your skin peek through under your shirt as Kaminari’s hands worked higher and higher. Soon enough (Name) pulled away looking at both of her boys.

“Let's play.”

[suna-reversed]

4 seats away

College!AU Iwaizumi x gn reader (part1/?)

Iwaizumi Hajime was an absolute mystery to you when you first met him. Despite being just 4 seats away, the distance between you seemed like oceans apart. Little did you know of just how the tides would turn to bring the two of you a little closer.

slowburn-friends to lovers-flufff

(warnings- cuss words, mentions of harassment)

a/n; this is my first ever fic so feedback would be appreciated!

Stepping onto your college campus for the first time, you felt both exhilarated and scared, but nonetheless, you were ready to take on your new life and all the adventures that it had in store for you. 

On the other hand, Iwaizumi Hajime was absolutely baffled by just how much california was different from the place that he had called his home. He had expected some adjustment difficulties but still, he wouldn't have guessed the cultural shock that hit him harder than that one ball he spiked at shittykawa’s head when they were second years. His lips twitched upwards at the thought of his best friend who he was miles away from. But then his eyes moved to the mess of cardboard boxes he still had to unpack, and just like that his face was set back into it’s usual stoic expression as his shoulders slumped and he got to work.

--------

2 months into college life and it had surpassed all your expectations of the freedom you had deemed to gain as a high school student. No, you weren't going to parties every single night, spending your day away drinking booze or getting high at 2 am while listening to arctic monkeys. But you could get waffles at 2:30 am if you wished to, eat nutella straight out the jar AND play the yarichin bitch club’s theme song on the living room television and dance around with your roommates with no judgment whatsoever. 

Who was there to judge you after all anyways?

Unfortunately, that carefree attitude crumbled to dust as you walked out your class, absentmindedly texting your friend, and immediately slammed into what seemed like a walking brick wall. It took you 3.5 seconds to hear the clutter of the books and stationery the stranger was carrying to fall onto the floor, and another second to snap back to reality. You hurriedly bent down and hastily gathered the mess while a string of almost incoherent apologies left your mouth.  Realising the lack of response from the mystery person, you snapped your head up wondering if you may have given them a concussion with just how hard you knocked into each other. Instead, you were met with honey brown orbs peering down at you from a face as cold as ice. You didn't even realise how hard you were staring until the unknown boy bent down, taking the items from your hands gently and gathering the rest from the floor. His husky but tender voice snapped you of your trance. He seemed to murmur an apology before slightly bowing and then stopping halfway as if he caught himself doing something wrong. Another “sorry” and a slight nod was all you got before he walked away. 

That was your first encounter with what seemed to be an ever perplexing and mysterious boy. Fortunately, it wasn't the last. 

---------

The next time you saw him was on the bus on your way to the cafe where you worked part-time. You didn’t realise his presence until you felt a pair of eyes boring into the back of your head with an intensity hard enough to cut through stone. As you turned your head around, your eyes locked onto each other. He was standing around 4 seats away from you, partially blocked by a middle aged man talking loudly on his phone. Instinctively, you waved at him with an awkward smile. To your surprise, he raised his hand back in greeting while giving you a slight nod. Just then, your pressed smile turned into a genuine one as the distance of those 4 seats seemed to lessen just a bit. 

-------

Since then, you had learned a little bit more about him. He had a class right next to yours. He didn't seem to interact much with too many people, but was always polite to everyone and had one constant friend who he was most often seen with. He was somehow also extremely oblivious to his popularity amongst the girls he had classes with (they had given him the title of the “mysterious hot foreign boy”). You truly questioned that when you once saw him try to baby talk to a cat while waiting for the bus, only for the cat to poke him right in the eye with its paw, leading to a very awkward 5 minutes of you asking him if he was okay and him reassuring you he was even though his eye twitched every two seconds. 

------

It was just another regular day for you travelling back from work. You had gotten onto the bus, followed your daily routine of acknowledgement given and received with “that one guy from college”, and went along your business bobbing your head along to the song you were listening to on your earphones. The bus was oddly crowded that day for a late afternoon in the middle of the week. Your senses seemed to heighten a little as you felt a tall figure enter your personal bubble. You tried to move around, but the task proved to be a little too difficult with the crowd and a seat right next to you blocking your way. A single road bump was all that was needed for the stranger to further invade your space as they pressed up against you, a hand slowly inching up your hip. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked around with a panic filled expression, your eyes locking onto a pair of almond orbs you had grown too familiar with. 

It didn't even take Hajime a second to read your terror filled eyes and look down to realise the situation. And before he knew it, he was pushing through the crowd and physically placing himself right between you and the man. 

“Is there a problem?” he asked in an ever threatening tone to the man who was currently chuckling nervously as he cowarded away from Hajime's terrifying build. The man stuttered out an incoherent string of words that you were too shaken up to register before Hajime took one frightening step towards him, sending him scrambling away as far as possible in the stuffed bus. 

Hajime turned towards you, intending to move a step away from you to give you the much needed space. But before he could do that, he felt something tug onto the fabric of his jacket. Looking down, he saw your fist bundling up the corner of his jacket and he could have sworn he felt the sound of his heart break a little as he looked up to see a tear fall from your eyes as you sniffed slightly. 

“Hey, it's alright. Your name’s y/n right? You’re safe now y/n.” 

You were still too shaken up to wonder how he came to know your name or to even answer when he asked you if he should walk you back to your college dorm building. He took your fragile state as a yes as he simply signalled you to walk before him with a light tap to your arm when your stop came. You both walked in silence with you leading the way. When you reached right outside your dorm buidling, you finally looked up at him to thank him, only to see the smallest of smiles grace his lips as his eyes slightly darted down in between you two to where you still held onto his jacket. Your eyes widened as you realised you had never let go of it. That caused a small chuckle out of the usually stoic faced brunette. You found yourself letting out a nervous laugh as you pulled your hand away. 

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realise it. And also sorry for the extra journey you had to make. I honestly don't know how to thank you for what you just di-” 

“It’s really not a problem. Besides, anyone would have done that. I just hope you are okay?” 

---------

The ice between you and Hajime hadn't been a slow process of thawing and melting. Instead, it had come crashing down and swept away as if in a thunderstorm. From that day onwards, Hajime himself had taken the initiative to cross the everlasting distance of those 4 seats between you. Small talks while standing next to each other soon enough turned into dying of laughter as Hajime made stupid faces at the baby in the arms of the woman in front, or the time you sneaked in a wholeass tub of ben and jerry’s and shared it with him right in front of the “no-food” sign on the bus. 

You learned something new about him almost everyday. He was majoring in sports science. He used to play volleyball in high school. He has a best friend who currently plays volleyball in a professional team in argentina. The said best friend also blames himself for why they did not go to nationals as third years even though that is absolutely not the case. Not that Hajime would ever tell him that. Hajime sometimes has extremely soft moments when you’re texting late at night, thus leading to appreciative conversations about his best friend. Not that he would ever address him as that on a regular day, instead opting for shittykawa or trashykawa and many other terms, that, as pointed by you, seemed to be getting lazier by the day on a creative level. At this point, you’re sure you know his best friend more than he knows himself. 

Anyways, back to Hajime; he’s weirdly good at carnival games (much proven by his 5 time winning streak over you in the bucket toss). He always ends up choosing the dinosaur plushie as his prize (you now have an ever increasing collection of dinosaur plushies by your bed). 

He loves staying healthy and learned how to make all his favourite foods from back home in the first two months of coming to Cali. His favourite being agedashi tofu, which he now has to make for you at least once a week since you have been obsessed with it ever since you first tried it from his plate (he acts like he’s pissed about it but low key loves seeing how your face lights up whenever you see him with a lunchbox in front your class). He’s very attentive to whatever you say or do and will happily watch your favourite anime/movie/show as long as you're willing to watch all the godzilla movies with him. 

There is still so much to learn for you to learn about Hajime, and you are more than willing and ready to do so. However, there are a few things that you don’t know of and Hajime would like to keep it that way. Like how he looks over at you with such tenderness in his eyes while you’re laughing at a video of puppies falling over, or how his heart swells with joy whenever you get on your tiptoes to fix his hair, or how sometimes he’ll catch your face just right in the sunlight and suddenly he’ll feel like everything would fall apart if he so much as breathes too loud. But you’d always snap him out of it by poking your tongue out at him while making the silliest of faces and he’d flick your nose in response, and once again he’d ground himself into the moment, simply enjoying the fact that you exist, you’re here, and you’re with him. He mentally thanks himself for crossing those 4 seats that led him to being this close to you almost every other day. But he wonders if he’ll ever be able to get past his cowardice and admit that maybe he wants you to be just a little bit more closer. 

[bebepac]

With You

This is chapter 29 of the The Life of Riley.  To catch up with what you’ve been missing  please click:  The Life Of Riley Masterlist

This is @wackydrabbles​​ prompt # 83:  That makes my  {body part } tingle. which will appear in bold. 

Jaiden Brooks and Sal are my own characters.  All others belong to Pixelberry. 

The Book:  TRR (Liam’s last night in New York)

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Word count: 1992

Warnings: Sexual Innuendo, profanity. 

Summary:  Riley takes Liam to the Statue of Liberty 

Song Inspiration for this episode: I Like Me Better  by Lauv

I don’t own rights to the music. 

Riley giggled.   He pulled away from her with a sheepish smile.  “What?  What did I do?”

“I’m ticklish there. You were tickling me, the way you were gently touching me there.”  

He wrapped his arms around her hips pulling her closer to him again.  “Not on purpose.”

Liam smiled again. Gently touching her. "Like this?"

"That makes my whole body tingle."

He kissed her cheek, his lips drifting to her neck. He nibbled on her neck. Riley pulled away.

“Do you really have to leave tomorrow? Or is this just a game you and your buddies play and you really live on the upper east side?  It’s clear you’re some rich guy.  And you’re just down here for the night, slummin’ it?”

“Riley don’t do this….”  Jaiden said.  “Don’t push him away because now you are starting to realize what this could mean.”

“I don’t understand?”

“And I’m just another notch you’re trying to get on your belt tonight.”

“I wouldn’t treat you that way Riley.  I don’t know much about you, but I know you are more special than that.”  

His voice softened.

“And if I did have the privilege to be with you for the night, I would treat your body like a sacred temple.”

“So you’re going to take your shoes off and not touch anything?”  

“Annnndddd… Riley just killed the mood with her horrible jokes.”  Jaiden shook his head.

Liam burst out laughing shaking his head at her.  

“Maybe she didn’t… Maybe just maybe he likes that about her.”  He watched the pair.  They were now closer than ever.

“I mean…. It’s where my mind went. Be honest. You’re really from far away aren’t you?”

“That’s it Riley… believe in him…”

“I crossed an ocean to get here. To meet you.”

Riley’s breath hitched.  

There was a beep.

“That must be Sal!”  

The small boat pulled up next to them.  

“Your chariot awaits My fair Riley… plus one.”  

“Why thank you kind Sir Sal!!!”  Riley did a curtsy that surprised Liam.  It was definitely court approved. If he could get her to Cordonia, her transition might go easier than planned.  

Liam hopped down onto the boat first.

He held out his arms to Riley.  

“Jump, I’ll catch you.”  

Jaiden thought he would do just one more thing.   He’d seen that boy Tucker do it to another boy on the playground when Riley was little, that caused him to completely topple over. Just as Riley jumped, Jaiden kicked the back of Liam’s left leg causing his knee to buckle.   He caught Riley but fell on his back, Riley falling on him.

Sal laughed.  “Damn kid.  You’re clumsy. You’re supposed to catch her.  But I guess it worked out for you.”

“We have to stop meeting like this Liam.”  She whispered as she looked down at him from her straddling position.  He gripped her hips.

“I don’t know… I think it’s not so bad.  Getting kind of used to breaking your falls. I think you’re the clumsy one, Riley Brooks.”  

“He’s not wrong Riley. You are clumsy.”  Jaiden smiled.  

She stood helping him up.  

He zipped her jacket.  “I want you to stay warm.”

“So what brought you here to New York?”

“A bachelor party.”  

“Who’s? Don’t tell me that guy Tariq is actually getting married?”

“No actually, for me.”  

“Whoa, so you’ve been playing me this whole time?”  Riley backed away from him.  “I trusted you.”  

“I am getting married… I just don’t know who yet.”  

“How does that happen?”  

“It happens when you’re the crown prince of a country.”

“You’re a crown prince.”  

“Why are you not surprised?”

“I told you, you seemed different from them.”  

“I am different from them.”    

"Of Cordonia?"

"Yes, how did you know that?"

"Your credit card. I have never seen a gold credit card like that before. I always remember the unique ones."

"Good memory."

Liam glanced up. "There she is."

He rushed to the front of the boat.

Liam was in awe.

"She's beautiful."

"Why was the Statue of Liberty on your list of things to see?"

"Because she is a beacon of light for Freedom."

"You said you're a Prince, you can't get freer than that. You can do a royal decree and get whatever you want."

"And I am. Crown Prince, that means…"

"You are taking over the family business….

 I see what you did there now. Witty. Meaning… you'll be King someday."

"Despite popular belief, royalty is the last thing but free. We are the exact opposite.  We are bound by duty.  Every choice I make people are watching. Every move I make must be calculated and thought about carefully.  Not only for myself but my family, my country, and my people.  Riley, when you get married someday, what’s the reason you think you will choose to do so?”  

“For love. Why else?”  

“In my life Riley,  It’s not that simple.  People marry for alliances, for duty, love is very rarely on the list. You learn to love who you’re with. That’s my reality.”

“Then why did you come here?”  

“For more.”  

 She chuckled.  “You know that’s kind of like a movie right?”

Liam looked confused.  

“Coming to America?”

No recognition registered on Liam’s face.  Riley gasped.

“What are you doing after this?”

“Going back to the hotel, going to sleep, why? What do you have planned for me?”

“Come to my place.  And don’t get any ideas, I’m not gonna ride your royal scepter tonight.”

Liam coughed, and laughed at the same time. “Excuse me, my what?”

She glanced at his crotch and back up into his face.  “Don’t play dumb Liam.”

“What I’m hearing you say, is not tonight but sometime soon?”  He inquired, winking at her.

She laughed.   “Do you want to come to my place to watch a movie with me?”

“I’d love to.”

The boat pulled to a stop, idling in the water.  

“This is as close as I can get you two without all of us going to jail tonight. I’ll give you two some privacy.  She’s like a granddaughter to me Liam.”

“Yes sir! I will be on my best behavior."    

Liam slipped his arms around Riley from behind pulling her close to him.  Immediately she felt warmer.  

“I know what you said, about how your life is supposed to go.”  She turned in his arms so she was facing him.

“I’ve never felt this free in my life before Riley, as I have tonight spending this evening with you. I feel like I could be a different person. Thank you.”  

“I really believe you can be different Liam, if you are willing to fight for it.”

“Why do you believe in me like that?”    

“There’s a sparkle in your eyes.  I saw it when I ran into you on the street.”

“Ahhhh so she admits it now, it WAS your fault.”  

“No that is not at all what I said Your … Lord… Ship… Wreck…. Rrrrrrr mateys.. Batten down the hatches.  Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum…. Scallywag… Walk the plank.”

“Okay now you’re just saying random pirate phrases.”

Jaiden smiled.  “He’s already head over heels for her.  You deserve this little sister.  All the hurt was for this, for him.”

Liam had never laughed so much  as he did with Riley.

“So what’s the right term then?”

“To call me?  Or are we going out to the seven seas to pillage and plunder? Avast Ye Hearties!!!!!”

Riley laughed, hitting his chest.

“If you wanted to address me with my proper title, it’s Your Highness.”

“So official.”  

“But that’s not how I want you to see me Riley.”

“You’re ‘Just Liam.’ I get it.  You came here wanting what I take for granted everyday.”

He nodded, resting his forehead on hers.  

“We have to get back.”  

“Thanks Sal for bringing us out here.”  

“You’re very welcome.  I like this one Riley.  I never liked Von much.  Felt like you were settling with him.  You deserve the world.”

When they got back to the dock, Liam helped Riley off the boat.

They walked at a leisurely pace holding hands.  It was a peaceful silence between them.   “We have to cross here.”

Jaiden whispered in Liam’s ear.  “It’s safe to cross.”  

Riley had looked away for a moment to press the button on the crosswalk so the light would change.

Liam was starting to cross the street.

“Liam!!!” she screamed.  Grabbing his arm pulling him back.

“What the hell!?!?!?!”  She screamed at him again.  

“I thought it was safe to cross?”  

“NOOOOOO!!!  Look, we can’t cross until the light changes.”

“I don’t know what happened.”  

“You scared me!!!! Are you alright?”  

“I’m fine.”  

“Just my luck I got a Crown Prince killed on his last night in the United States.  Talk about an international incident.  So what exactly is the jail sentence for that?”  

Liam laughed.  “Probably death.”  

“Greaaaaattt.”  

They were silent for a few moments waiting for the light to change.  

“I love that song.”

Can’t help falling in love, was playing on the radio of the person stopped at the light.  

“May I have this dance?”  Liam asked.  

Liam and Riley slow-danced in the middle of the sidewalk.  

“Last thing sis.”  

Jaiden whispered to the cab driver to turn up the music.  

People watched the pair as they danced.  Both completely enamored with the other.  

“I think you can handle it from here.”  Jaiden faded away.

When traffic started to move again, it broke the trance the song had over them.  

They waited for the light and crossed the street.  

He followed Riley into a small apartment building.  

She stood at the door.   “I have a roommate, so we need to be quiet coming in.” 

 Liam nodded, sticking close to her. She tried being quiet when she opened the door as it was well after 1am when they arrived.

“Well it’s about time your ass decided to show up,” Daniel said when she walked through the door.

“DANIEL!” She glanced at Liam standing right behind her.

“Oh shit, I was only kidding!!!!!!!” Daniel remarked when he realized she wasn’t alone, choking on his beer.  “Riley is not an ass,  it’s how we joke with each other when we're late coming home.”

“Liam this is Daniel, my roommate, and brother from another mother .”  

“Nice to meet you,” Liam chuckled. The look on Riley's face was priceless. She has the best absolutely mortified expressions.

“Daniel, this is  Liam, Bachelor number four.”

“Stop playing, the bachelor party table, this was the one that was late?”

“Liam, what you don't know is, I covered your table tonight because Daniel had somewhere to be."

"And how was it?" She directed her attention back to Daniel.

“Still going baby, just taking a breather.”

“Well if you will excuse us.”  She took Liam’s hand pulling him through the apartment.  

“Sorry it’s not much, but it’s ours.”

"No it's ok. You have a nice place."  It was small and clean, and they were very effective in using the space they had.  He was impressed.

She turned on the TV in her room.   “I’m gonna get comfortable.”  She took a few moments to change and shave her legs.

She put on a tank top and a pair of boy shorts. Liam stared at her body in awe.  Everything was covered, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

“You look like you’re in pajamas.  Am I staying the rest of the night?”

“You should, it’s late, and honestly this is not the best neighborhood.”

“Well I usually just sleep in boxers at home.  But I can keep this on.”

“Please make yourself comfortable.”    

She bit her lip, as he undressed in front of her. He could feel her eyes on him watching.  Then he climbed into bed with her.  They curled up on the bed together and turned on the movie.  He wrapped his arm around her.  She snuggled closer to him.

She was ready for whatever the rest of that night would bring.

Tagging:  @dcbbw​​     @bbrandy2002​​      @indiacater​​     @hopefulmoonobject​​     @queenjilian​​ @sillypapermango​​ @mom2000aggie​​       @gkittylove99​​     @gabesmommie1130​​       @zoehanji​​       @queenwalton​​      @kingliam2019​​        @jessiembruno​​      @queen-arabella-of-cordonia​​   @hopelessromanticmonie​​      @kimmiedoo5​​      @furiousherringoperatortoad​​      @jared2612​​      @sevenfuckslefttogive​​      @batgirlassociationofgothamcity​​       @marietrinmimi​​       @lovablegranny​​      @iaminlovewithtrr​​      @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful​​      @sanchita012​​      @yourmajesty09​​      @cordoniaqueensworld​​     @theroyalheirshadowhunter​​ @gibbles82​​      @amandablink​​      @secretaryunpaid​​     @axwalker​​      @burnsoslow​​      @sweatyrysconnoisseur​​      @royalromancer​​    @neotericthemis​​      @nala-raines​​     @kingliamandriley​​      @sfb123​​      @twinkleallnight​​      @kat-tia801​​

[qvid-pro-qvo]

Could I request 35 from the random prompt list and 12 from the ways to say I love you lost with Hotch please? :)

aaron hotchner x gender neutral reader.

word count: 1514

rating: teen, for the chill in the air and the warmth that the two of you build together, your own fire sparking (tw: alcohol mention, food mention). 

-

Your eyes scan the horizon you can see outside your window. The snowfall is normal here for this time of year, but it’s always amazing to you how much it… builds. It looks like a new city, a new planet.

And it’s the snowfall that has you shivering, the snowfall that has your team stuck in this town for another two days. The plane can’t take off after all, when a blizzard of surprising proportions decides to camp out.

You blink, breaking away from the trance of fresh snow, before turning back to face the rest of your team. The whole group had gathered to hear the announcement from Aaron, and now there’s this moment of reckoning.  After all, the team had already dressed down for the plane, for the weather, and now the implication that work would be done for a couple more days… What to do with the sudden time off? A couple get a glint in their eye – Derek, Prentiss, and Penelope, all of whom look at each other before wandering off toward a room.

“And where do the three of you think you’re going?” Rossi calls out, only to receive a smirk from over Prentiss’s shoulder.

“Movie in Morgan’s room. We’re gonna rent The Shining.”

Just the suggestion makes a chill run down your spine. Bold of them to show something like that in a hotel that’s mainly occupied by the group of you. But Penelope and Derek just link arms, and the three of them continue their stroll. They’re joined by Spencer, who scurries after them, after going into great length about the differences between the film and the book – backed up by Prentiss, which prompts an argument between which is better.

It’s heartwarming. Good to see after a violent case. The small towns are always tough, always make your soul ache, and when you chuckle at the sound of Derek’s protests about film versus book content, you catch Hotch’s eyes.

There’s a smile on his face, too. The weariness that settles after a case, the blinking that ends up slow and steady as he watches some of his family begin their nights off with a bang, it’s there. And it makes him seem like a source of warmth in the midst of all of the chill.

“Crazy kids,” Rossi snarks, sarcasm dripping, and JJ just laughs, shaking her head.

“I’m gonna go call Will and Henry,” she tells the three of you that remain, looking at the group before smiling gently, a little bit of sadness in her eyes. “Maybe try and Skype. If you need anything…”

“We know where to find you,” you assure her, and she nods. “Go take off, JJ, spend time with your family.”

She too leaves the lobby.

Rossi starts drifting away, too. Towards the front doors, and Hotch raises his brow at the sight. “And you? What’s out there?”

“A good bottle of bourbon, and I’m sure the kids will want whatever you plebians call pizza,” Rossi calls back to his unit chief, and when he turns his smirk is very reminiscent of what Prentiss’s looked like. “I’ll be back.”

That’s the dismissal. Rossi has the keys to the van, after all. And Hotch, watching, seems unbothered. If anything, he’s amused.

And then there were two.

You turn to look at Hotch, smile at him. He looks back, and the corner of his lips twitches up, his eyes warm and bright. There’s something unspoken in the air, a realization that while the rest of the team made their way quickly out of the lobby, the two of you lingered behind. There’s been a lot of lingering, and you try to explain it away. But in the moment, within the feeling, there’s little to explain. You don’t need to.

With a glance around the space, not even the desk clerk eavesdropping

“I’m sure there are other movies besides The Shining on,” you say, almost despite your brain screaming at you to come to stop. “Sounds like that’ll be my plan.”

“Not a fan of thrillers?” Hotch asks you, and you shake your head.

“A movie about a man who attempts to murder his family in a haunted empty hotel? In the dead of winter?” With a gesture around to the empty lobby, the wintry precipitation outside, your boss lets out a chuckle.

“I see your point.” The two of you start moving towards the elevator, and you find yourself thinking about how close he’s standing, how close he’s lingering. “Well. I hope you find a good movie.”

“A sudden day off? What does Aaron Hotchner do with that?” you tease, and he ducks his head a little. Almost… bashful. It seems to light your nerve endings, your fingers tingling. When he doesn’t answer, you dare to reach with an elbow, nudge him a little. “You have a movie to suggest? One that makes the window leaking cold air disappear?”

“Maybe,” he returns, and the doors open. He moves to leave, and then glances back, calls out your name. You turn to face him, blinking as he stares.

“Did you say your window is leaking cold air?” It’s like he didn’t process the implications completely until that moment, and you find yourself squirming under his gaze.

“It’s fine! I called down for three extra blankets, and I’m managing,” you tell him. But even that reassurance doesn’t do its job, because Hotch turns to face you, raises a brow.

“You should’ve told me. We would’ve gotten you another room,” he tells you, and you simply shrug again. You open your mouth, to interject, but he shakes his head, stopping you. There’s a hint of unit chief in his gaze, but a bit of something more.

“Come on. You can stay in my room. I’ll call down, see what we can do about getting you resituated.”

So that’s how the evening starts. The two of you, in his room. He talks to the front desk, and they assure that someone will be up to look at the window, but give no estimated time for the repair. In those moments, as you sit in his space, you feel like you’re invading, but if anything he seems at ease. The way he sits on the edge of the bed, corded phone up to his ear. Some moments, he meets your gaze, offers a smile, and you find yourself smiling back, watching as he adjusts the zipper of his jacket.

Then you get a text. From Rossi. He’s back from the pizza place, needs helping carrying things inside. You get up to go assist when Hotch calls your name, makes you turn back to him.

“Here, take my jacket. It’s cold outside.”

You find yourself just staring, mouth a little agape as he slides it off of his shoulders, passes it over. You take it, your heart pounding, and he offers you another small smile before he starts talking again with the front desk. All of this for you, which he would do for anyone else. But today, he’s doing it for you, and you can’t help but notice the way he watches you slide the thing over his shoulders.

When you make it to one of the black SUVs, you try to ignore the way that Rossi’s eyes scan you, too, amusement on his features. He passes over the pizza and your grip stumbles a little, as the wind outside and the blur of snow combined with your embarrassment makes your fingers tremble.

“Whoa, whoa, easy. I’ve got you,” Rossi says, and when he shoots you a smirk you give it right back.

“Got something to say, Rossi?”

“Just surprised you emerged,” Rossi states mildly, and you shrug your shoulders at him before reaching to the first box, pulling it open to see steaming fresh cheese and dough. It looks delicious, and your stomach rumbles at the sight. The two of you start pushing inside when his comment hits you, and you’re glad the snow is making your cheeks numb, or else you’d feel the warmth flood your face. 

“Nothing happened,” you protest, but Rossi just shakes his head.

“Oh, I know. But I got an extra box for the two of you just in case another appearance is rare. The others are for… well. The others.”  

He knows what you’re thinking. That you wouldn’t mind that one bit, if the extra box was put to good use. You push that thought down, letting the mention of your friends makes you smile. “I can drop two of these boxes by Morgan’s door. I’m sure that there won’t just be one movie watched at the end of the day.”

“Especially since JJ joined them,” Rossi remarks. “I have a feeling they won’t be coming out until the morning.”

You nod. The bunch of pizzas is resting in your very capable hands, and when you make it in the elevators get another trip. But before you can step on, Rossi calls out to you, and you turn to see his eyes twinkle.

“You’re all right, kid,” he offers. “Don’t overthink it.”

It’s good advice, sound advice, and you nod, ignoring the way your mouth goes a little dry. “It’s him, though,” you manage, and Rossi just chuckles.

“And you’re you. You’ll be fine.” 

[ilovefandoms102]

Part 11- Shape of My Heart

Pairing: Rudy Pankow x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Falling in love with someone you can never have is the worst feeling in the world...

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @sexualparkour @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams​ @judayyyw​ @lonely-kermit​ @gviosca​ @iamaunicorn4704​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @fernweh-fangirl​ @runway-to-my-aid​ @eb15​ @hurricane-abigail​ @tangledinsparkles​ @fandom-phaser​ @sunwardsss​ @http-cherries​ @bibliophilewednesday​ @evaporatedrosepetals​ @thetomatosaucee​ @tomatosauceagent​ @redosmo​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @obx-direction-sos​ @mxltifandoms06​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​

Part 10 Part 12

Note: After crying over the last chapter, I was finally able to muster up this one. Also just in case anyone was wondering, we’re pretending COVID19 is nonexistent in this story because it would just ruin everything and I’m not about it!

=============================

It’s been a month and a half since Rudy told me about his short film, our conversations became less frequent which worried me deeply...

I didn’t want to drift apart from him, and that’s exactly what I feared was happening now. I tried to indulge into my school work, but it became harder to focus when I kept checking to see if I had a text or at least a SnapChat from him. I didn’t want to bother him by blowing up his phone either, becoming an annoyance he’d soon grow tired of. I expressed my concerns to both Maddie’s on our daily FaceTime call, hoping to get some reassurance for my MIA boyfriend.

“We’ve been in a lot of meetings with Jonas and Netflix to try and get season 2 of OBX approved, I don’t even know why we have to be there because they don’t really talk to us.” Maddi B commented.

“Plus Rudy has that short film on top of everything, so I imagine all of this is taking up his time. Don’t fret though, he said in our last meeting how horrible he felt that you all couldn’t talk as much with the both of you being so busy. He talks about you to everyone and how much he misses you.” Maddie C inputed.

“Awww, he’s so sweet. Maybe I am overthinking things, when I go to work tomorrow I’m demanding a week paid vacation because I need a break. Midterms are coming up and I’ve barely had any time to study.” I sighed.

“You need to focus on school, that’s the most important thing right now. You know Rudy would say the same, you need to take that week to relax and get everything in order.” Maddie B pointed out. 

“Yeah you’re right, jesus I forgot I have to fucking close at work tonight. I’m going to start applying to different places that actually care about their employees, and will work with school schedules.” I huffed, swinging my legs off of my bed.

“We’ll let you go then babe, love you!” Maddie B called, waving in the camera.

“Love you y/n!” Maddie C said, blowing a kiss in the camera.

“I love and miss you guys, I’ll see you later.” I smiled, hanging up.

=================================

Work was awful, being a shift manager was not all it was out to be. I hated dealing with difficult people and sometimes the other employees. I had just finished have a shouting match with this lady who was down right insulting both me and the other cashier working. I was so glad to be locking up once we closed, practically sprinting to my car, I was stopped by the cashier I had worked with tonight.

“Hey y/n, I-I was wondering you know if um..” he said.

Shit, I knew where this was going...

“Maybe we could hang out some time, I think you’re really pretty and uh...yeah I think we should get together more.” he spoke.

“That’s nice and all pal, but she has a boyfriend.” was heard from behind us.

I froze in my spot, tears coming to my eyes. I whipped around to see Rudy leaning against my car, his blue eyes zeroing in on the guy. He scurried off, leaving just Rudy and I.

“Hi baby,” Rudy spoke, a smile so wide on his face.

He looked different, having grown a mustache and slight beard. His hair was longer too, but still handsome as ever. I let out a watery laugh once I was out of my trance, blinking to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I dropped my stuff in front of my car, throwing myself in his arms.

“Oh my god, are you real? Are you really here?” I blubbered, pulling back to hold his face. He held me tight against him, combing some stray hair from my face.

“I’m here, you’re even more beautiful than I remember.” he gushed, beaming as he laid his forehead to mine.

“I look like shit Ru, I don’t even have makeup on.” I giggled, feeling his facial hair under my fingertips.

“You don’t need it, fuck I’m so happy to see you. I’m sorry we haven’t talked much, I’ve been so busy in meetings and filming.” he sighed, shaking his head.

“You came just at the right time, I have a whole week off of work.” I said, both of us grinning wide.

“Plenty of time for you to show me around then.” he smiled.

Rudy gripped my face in his hands, crushing his lips to mine. I had craved them for so long, having been deprived of the feeling. My heart went soaring, the feel of his facial hair tickling my skin. He moaned into my mouth, his hands moving to hold my hips to bring me closer. My fingers weaved their way into his now long blonde hair, tugging at the roots slightly. 

I pulled away once I became dizzy, pulling my hands back to caress his face. He gave me little kisses all over my face, fully caging me against him so I couldn’t move away. Rudy laughed along with me, pulling back fully now.

“Guess you’ll be my chauffeur for the week babe.” he smirked, opening my door for me.

I chuckled as I got in my car, Rudy jogging to the passenger side. He held my hand for the drive to my apartment, pulling it to his lips to kiss the back of it. We jammed out to some of our favorite songs, dancing crazy. I had the windows down so we could blast my speakers, probably waking everyone in the neighborhood up. Rudy even pulled out his phone to record us rapping Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice, he got embarrassed after the first chorus though because that was the only part he knew and I was still going.

“Ok show off, trying to outshine me on my own Insta story.” he scoffed teasingly.

“Not my fault you don’t know the lyrical poet Ru,” I joked, sticking my tongue out at him. 

===================================

I threw my bag on the end table as soon as we walked into the apartment, Rudy taking a walk around. He picked up pictures, looked at my bookcase, and even pulled out some of the books I had to skim through. I sat on my couch to flip through some movies for us to watch, not wanting to miss a single moment spending time with him. Rudy walked into my kitchen, opening my cabinets, and my fridge. 

“Baby, why don’t you have anything to like eat or drink?” he called from the kitchen.

“I uh...I couldn’t afford to go to the store this payday. I had to pay my rent and my car payment which is basically my whole check, and the rest is for gas to school and work.” I murmured, knowing he was going to be upset with me.

“So like...what do you eat then?” he asked, peaking his head around to look at me.

I stared at the floor, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I could feel his anger radiating off of him, the tension in the room becoming nerve wracking. I was a poor college student ok, I didn’t have the luxury of my parents buying my way through it. I was lucky some nights to even have stuff to make a fucking cheese sandwich.

“I...I don’t.” I confessed, hearing a sharp scoff come from Rudy.

“Get your shoes back on.” he demanded, snatching my keys.

“Wha-...Where are we going?” I questioned.

“This shit isn’t going to continue, not on my watch. I am seriously pissed you didn’t tell me this.” he snapped, taking me aback for a moment.

“It’s not that big of a deal, you’re being over dramatic! It makes me lose weight so what’s the fucking problem?!” I yelled, Rudy whipped his head around, his mouth hanging open.

“The fucking problem is that I’m not going to sit here and watch my girlfriend struggle when I can help. Let me help you and stop being so stubborn. If you want to lose weight for you then that’s fine, but I don’t want you to have it in your head that you need to do it for me. You’re perfect to me.” he stated, earning an eye roll from me. 

“Alright Ru, let’s get this over with.” I sighed, secretly melting at how sweet and thoughtful he is. 

===============================

Goofing off in the store was all fun in games until I saw him..

Nick.

The guy that shredded my heart, still yet to be fixed. The guy that messed me up so bad I never thought I was deserving of love until Rudy came into my life. Rudy was in the middle of talking to me when I abruptly spun around and high tailed it out of the aisle. 

“What’s wrong?” Rudy asked as soon as he caught up to me. 

“We need to leave.” I declared.

“Babe, we haven’t even made it through half the store I-” he spoke.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” someone said, my blood turning to ice. I turned around to see Nick with some of his friends, smirking at me. 

“Um..” I stuttered.

“Who’s blondie?” Nick scoffed, pointing at Rudy. 

“I’m her boyfriend.” Rudy said, glancing between the two of you. He must have put the pieces together from the very uncomfortable expression on my face.

“Boyfriend? Really y/n? You’re so desperate you hired someone to be your boyfriend? Pathetic really...” he laughed, his friends joining. I just wanted to ground to swallow me whole, I had to turn my head so they didn’t get the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

“You’re Nick, the piece of shit who thinks he can just toy with women how he pleases.” Rudy concluded.

“Guilty, y/n and I had a good run didn’t we?” Nick commented, going to touch my shoulder.

“You lay one finger on her and I swear to god you’ll regret it.” Rudy said, his voice going an octave lower. 

“Oh please man, you seriously don’t have to keep your act up. How much is she paying you?” Nick asked, tilting his head.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but this isn’t an act.” Rudy hissed.

“Guys that look like us man don’t go for fat chicks.” Nick chuckled.

“The fuck did you just say?” Rudy bellowed, getting in Nick’s face. I had to intervene now, I couldn’t risk a fight in the middle of the store.

“Rudy please, he’s not worth it.” I said, tugging on his sleeve.

“Nice seeing you again y/n, remember what I said last time we spoke.” Nick cackled, leaving with his posse.

“What did that fucker say to you?” Rudy inquired, his chest heaving with anger.

“I’ll tell you when we get back, let’s just go to a different store.” I offered, checking out whatever we had in hand before heading to the car.

================================

Rudy spent way more than I told him he could, but I wasn’t surprised he didn’t listen to me. It took us four trips to carry in all the stuff we bought, I’m sure I’d be stocked up for a year now. I was seriously exhausted, and my mood hadn’t gotten any better since our run in with Nick. Rudy had tried to cheer me up, but I think he knew that my mood wouldn’t be saved tonight.

I planned on taking a quick shower, but I couldn’t stop my mind running through my past. My chest started to burn, my hand came over my mouth to conceal my sobs. I had hoped the water would drown out my cries, but Rudy still heard them. He shed his clothes and jumped in the shower, taking me in his arms. I leaned my head on his chest as I sobbed, his lips moving to kiss my wet hair. 

“I don’t understand! What did I ever do to deserve that!? I did everything for him! I was some sick game our whole relationship, how fucked up is that?” I laughed humorlessly.

“What did he say to you?” he inquired.

“He told me that I would never find someone to love me, that I was undeserving of love, and that I was the ugliest being on this Earth who was stupid to think I ever stood a chance with him.” I recalled.

“That’s fucked up, you should have let me beat his ass.” Rudy muttered, switching places with me so he could wash his hair.

“He’ll get his karma one day, someone will shred his heart beyond repair just like he did mine.” I whispered.

“I’ll have the best time repairing it then,” Rudy shrugged, leaning to plant a sweet kiss to my lips.

“Are you sure you want to go through that Rudy, I-I’m not...I’m not as happy go lucky as everyone thinks I am, I’m broken deep on the inside.” I said, shaking my head as I looked down to the tile.

“I wouldn’t of chased after you if I didn’t want all of you.” he spoke, tilting my chin up.

“Well I guess so but-” I started.

“It’s you and me against the world, no one will ever compare to you y/n.” he inputted. 

I kissed him hard, a moan leaving his lips. He pinned me against the wall, showing me exactly what I meant to him....

[sapphirespencer]

Love isn’t Always Ready (Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader)

author’s note: hi! i’m back after my short break :) This one’s long, I’ve been working on it for about a week, so I apologize. i also just started the permanent tag list, leave a note if you’d like to be part of it and if only for specific characters or just the fics in general. 

word count: 2668 

request: yes! (requested by @karmaisabig-bitch​)

“I’m going to use the restroom, I’ll be right back.” Spencer’s hand slips from its hold on your waist as he walks through the aromatic shop.

“I’ll be here, my love.” You mutter, your eyes never leaving the encapsulating pages of the book you had been reading for the week. Lovingly, your boyfriend had taken you out on a late night coffee run, a weekly tradition that you two shared but had sadly missed for the past couple weeks due to the demanding work life you both had. His eyes had been perked up ever since Aaron had told the team that for the next three days, everyone would be on paperwork duty in order to avoid falling behind on records while pursuing new cases. “No plane days”, as Spencer referred to them as, had meant you were both able to get off work at 8pm and he was free to wander over to bookstores with you for the rest of the evening. The night always ended in a late night coffee stop before heading home. And for all of that, No plane days had become his favorite of days.

“Love and Gelato? What’s that about?” Ears perking at the title of your book being said aloud, your head snapped up towards the man behind the counter who was currently working on your order. He was working alone tonight, no coworkers in sight.

“A girl who finds herself moving to Florence after her mother passes, but then begins digging deeper into her mom’s buried past in Italy and why she had insisted that her daughter move there after her death.” Without glancing down at the book, you sneak your old receipt in between the pages you had been reading to mark your place.

“I’m assuming she finds love along her journey?” After scribbling on your cup, he fills it with the bitter liquid before moving on to fill Spencer’s coffee order that had way too much sugar. While nodding you add,

“And Gelato.” 

“Right. Well I’m sure I can try to find us some gelato shops that are open this late, if you’d like.” He laughed, leaving you wondering if he hadn’t noticed the intimacy between you and your boyfriend.

“Sorry, but I’ve already found the love of my journey.” As if on cue, Spencer exited the restroom, kissing your cheek as he approached you. Oblivious to the tension that surrounded the primarily empty cafe, he grabbed both coffee cups from the barista and walked you out of the shop. Unclear of which cup was his, Spencer held them up in front of his eyes for a closer inspection. Scanning past the word “decaf”, which was obviously your order, he noticed a ten digit number tucked under the cup sleeve, with the message “in case you go on a new journey.” Quieting down as if to withdraw himself from the situation, he handed you the cup. Confused about his newfound silence in the middle of his ramble on how dirty public bathrooms really are, you glanced at your coffee cup, which seemed to be the problem. Eyes rolling as you immediately noticed the infuriating message.

“Gosh, that guy couldn’t get a hint. He just couldn’t understand that I’m already with the best guy anyone could ever have.” Your face dulled as Spencer merely hummed at your sentence. He was shutting you out, once again. He always did this when things got tough, or when he was jealous. You didn’t mind having to reassure him of your loyalty to him, he was worth it. But it was painful when he would isolate himself from you, you just wish he could see how you viewed him, then there would be no doubt in his mind that he was beyond incredible. The night you two had waited for, just time to enjoy one another, had gone too far out of reach and heading to bed seemed to be the only thing on Spencer’s mind. You, however, hadn’t gone to sleep at all. Laying in the same bed with one another while clinging onto opposite sides felt as if an ocean had found its way between the two of you. Not being able to bear the weight of his silence, your own mental health already on the rocks, you turned to reading in the study for the remainder of the dreary night.

At some moment you had to have fallen asleep, a book spread out on your chest and no blanket on top of your thin pajamas. Waking up with intense congestion was just the cherry on top of the state of your life. The pressure dwelling inside your body made your head pulse and Spencer’s continuous silence had, for once, made your headache worse. You watched as he crossed from the bedroom to the kitchen, hardly glancing at you as you shivered while reaching for a tissue. Not only was your mind exhausted beyond repair, but so was your body. Cautiously, you slumped over to the medicine cabinet in the kitchen where Spencer was making his coffee, terrified to speak and unable to find the words that would wake him from his trance.

“Spencer, please…” Your voice came out hoarse, and sadly, you had hoped it might possibly drawn him out but you weren’t expecting the harshness of his coffee cup as he slammed it down on the counter. 

“Shut up, just shut up. Gosh, you’re such an attention whore.”

“What? Spence...what are y-”

“Do you not know how to shut up? Just be quiet!” Finally turning to you, the Spencer that stood in front of you was unrecognizable. Terrified to utter another word, you attempted to walk towards him but gripped the edge of the counter as your vision danced, blurring you from reality.

“Now you don’t know how to walk? That’s funny, apparently you don’t know how to do anything...oh except knowing how to be a fucking slut.” It was now your time to be furious. The way he was behaving was reckless and unfamiliar, he had shunned you into silence and you were having trouble finding your voice again.

“That’s enough. Spencer, I understand that you’re upset about last night, but you need to know that I made it clear to the barista that I was with you. Gosh Spencer, I love you. I love you and I know you love me, so please, let’s talk about this before you take it too far.”

“I don’t, you’re wrong.” 

“You don’t what?”

“I don’t love you. I never did and I never fucking will.” You laughed bitterly. He had to be joking with you. It had to be some sort of dark humor, it had to be.

“It was a mistake that I ever thought I loved you” thought. thought?

“...You thought you loved me?” It wasn’t a joke. It’s not a joke. 

“Yeah, and i’m glad it was just that. A fragment of my imagination.” He spat out. All those words, all those names, he meant them. He meant it when he said you were a whore, that’s how he saw you. 

“Hotch is expecting me.”

“I’m here!” You called out as you entered the Hotchner residence, eyes searching for a living person.

“And you’re early.” Aaron walked out of his bedroom and crossed over to his kitchen. Letting yourself in, you set your keys and bag down as you shut the door behind you.

“I just wanted to see my favorite boss and honorary father ever.” You cheered in the perkiest voice you could manage.

“Your overnight bag and overall appearance say otherwise. You look like shit.” He called from the kitchen

“Gee, thanks dad. I stayed up reading...and Spencer-” Setting yourself down on the couch, your brain ran through excuses for the overnight bag.

“Save it, Y/N. I can tell when you’re lying.” Walking into the room with two coffee mugs in hand, Aaron sat in the armchair across from you. Handing you a coffee cup, he sipped on his drink, waiting for you to speak up.

“Hotch, I’m fine.” You muttered out, eyes focused on the liquid in the mug.

“What’s wrong, y/n?” 

“Spencer...We, um...We got in a fight. A bad one, and...things were said. Things that we might not bounce back from.” Not daring to look at the fatherly figure, your eyes trained on the dark liquid.

“What? What was said?”

“Hotch, it was nothing. Spencer just got jealous of this barista when we were in the coffee shop, even though I told the guy I was with someone and Spencer just shut off. No talking, only a muttered goodnight before he fell asleep. I couldn’t just lie in that bed with all things considered so I went to the study and at some point, fell asleep. I woke up feeling crappy and sick, hence my appearance, but I thought maybe he’d finally talk to me. He’s always there for me when I’m sick, but he just...he...Spencer…” Trailing off, your thumb rubbed over the mug handle, eyes still narrowed in on it.

“What did he do, y/n?” Leaning forward in his chair, Aaron stared at you.

“He blew up…” Tears spilling from your eyes, you finally met his eyes. The sight nearly broke his heart. “You know Spence, he bottles stuff up and then he just...blows up. He called me a couple of things. Things I would never think Spencer would ever say. Attention whore...slut.” Shaking your head, a sad smile spreads across your face.

“Y/n…” Aaron starts

“Oh no, that’s not the best part though. The fucking climax of it all was when he told me that he regrets ever thinking he was in love with me. He said he ‘thought’ he was in love with me...fucking thought.” Laughing bitterly, the words spat out of your mouth.

“I’m cancelling tonight. We’ll stay in with Jack and watch some movies, okay? And yes, I'm sure.” Jumping up to reach for his phone, the man hardly waits for an answer as you nod between silent sobs.

“Are you sure? It’s still not too late to go back, I’m sure Jack would love to spend the day with you.” Before opening the door to his office, Aaron looks back at you, hesitant about your appearance at work today.

“I’m sure. Trust me, I’m not mad at him anymore. Now let’s go, everyone’s waiting to be briefed.” Smoothing your shirt down, you wait for Hotch to open the door and let you out. Spencer’s eyes had darted up at you the minute you walked into the room, almost as if he was waiting for you. Taking your seat between Penelope and Emily, you watched as his facial expressions changed to the ones he had reserved strictly for work, he didn’t care. Unbeknownst to you, Aaron was watching him too.

The case had been an open and shut one, not lasting more than 12 hours, but the aftermath of the fight between you and Spencer had still been ongoing. If it hadn’t already thrown you and Spencer insane, it sure had done so to Aaron. Throughout the case, anger had begun to consume him as he noticed Spencer’s avoidance and ignorance. When the team had returned to headquarters, a furious Aaron pulled Spencer into his office.

“Reid, what are you doing?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Hotch.”

“Spencer, you know what you said and if you’re telling me that you have no ounce of guilt in your body for that, I would have to say that I never thought you could be so ignorant.” Loosening his tie, Aaron sat down in his chair, the tall shame-filled man standing in front of him.

“I know...I know what I said and I hate myself for it. I just… I don’t know what to say.” 

“I’m sure you’ll find the words, just go find y/n before it’s too late.” 

As you grabbed your stuff and got ready to go out with the team for dinner, you noticed Spencer approach you and stand next to your desk, waiting for you to lift your head.

“Hey, do you need something?” Looking up at him, you caught the flash of a familiar glow in his eyes that you had grown to love. He finally looked like himself and you wanted nothing more to wrap yourself in his embrace but as you had come to realize, it wouldn’t be fair to the both of you.

“Um...yeah, can...can we go talk somewhere? In...in private maybe?” Hands fidgeting, the nervous man looked around before gesturing for you to walk with him. Silently, the both of you made your way to an empty office that wasn’t being used. Being people who both found comfort out of sitting on the floor, the two of you sat cross-legged on the carpet, waiting for the other to speak.

“Y/N…what I said yesterday, I’m sorry. I’m sorry about all of it, every word. You’re not any of those things I said. I…gosh! I can’t believe I even dared to say anything like that, and to you of all people. I love you, so much. I never doubted my love for you…ever. If I did have any doubts, it was in myself. Doubts that I’d ever be good enough for you. And I know that it doesn’t excuse anything I said but I love you and I am so terribly sorry that I let my insecurities get in the way of showing it.”

“Spence...it’s okay, it’s alright. I...I forgive you.”

“But...why? I mean, how...how can you forgive me for what I said?”

“I can’t blame you for it. I can’t hold this love...this, this detached love against you. It’s not your fault that you can’t give me your love right now.”

“But I’m... I’m in love with you, I was just…”

“…Not ready. Your love…” Slightly, you shake your head at the poor choice of the noun, desperately searching for the right one to correct it, “…our love, wasn’t ready and I can’t blame you for that.”

“I was just feeling insecure and inferior. What I said doesn’t m-“ You placed your hands on top of his, the feeling stopping his train of thought as you had hope it would. Gently, you retracted your touch, not wanting to make this anymore painful for the both of you.

“You wouldn’t have spoken the words you said unless you meant it, Spence.” 

“Please…” It was a whimper, one that could’ve been mistakenly taken as if it was uttered by a child who was pleading for sweets, but all it sounded like to your ears was pure heartbreak.

“Maybe our love will be ready someday, and I hope it will. It’s just not prepared yet.”

“I don’t want to lose you. I…I can’t lose you.” You watched as tears pool into your love’s eyes. It was tragically beautiful how they glittered over his coffee colored irises while his pupils contracted, before tears slowly escaped from the eye socket that was encasing them.

“Hey… I’m not leaving, Spencer. I’m here, not in the way I used to be, but I will always be here for you.” Reaching up to cup his cheek, you tucked the single curl that had fallen in front of those tired eyes back behind his ear while your thumb brushed back a stray tear that stained that perfectly imperfect face of his. Melting into your hand, Spencer drags his own hand up to gently grasp your wrist, provoking a barely audible gasp from you as your body begged for more. Not wanting to tear apart from him, you pushed your forehead to meet his own. A little more pain was worth being in his arms again. Burning tears free falling from both of the tightly shut pairs of eyes in the cramped and poorly lit office you were both sitting on the floor of.

permanent taglist: @averyhotchner​

[grumpyhedgehogs]

tangled up in your old bedsheets

Summary:  Fabian wraps Riz in his sheet a lot, The Hangman is strangely jealous all of a sudden, and Riz figures some things out on his own.

~

It takes maybe a lot longer than it should for Fabian to understand exactly what’s happening with the whole “wrapping Riz up in his sheet all the time” thing. In his defense, there’s a lot of shit going down when it first happens. Riz has just been revivified only to be kicked off a fucking cliff by Kalina and the world is in peril and Fabian is stretching, stretching, stretching, to reach Riz before he’s lost to him forever. So when the fire elemental snags the goblin out of the air and kisses his cheek and Fabian curls his best friend into himself, swaddling him like a newborn, the half-elf doesn’t think much of it other than thank the gods you’re alright.

But then it happens again. And again. And again. And no matter what, even when Fabian doles out gifts and aggressively supports all his friends, Riz is the only one who ever seems to end up wrapped in Fabian’s sheet.

Fabian realizes this the summer after sophomore year and then aggressively stops thinking about what it could mean.

~

When the Night Yorb is defeated, Riz dies again. Thankfully Kristen is standing right next to him when he goes down so their rogue isn’t out for long but Fabian feels it deep in his bones. He sees the light go out of Riz’s eyes, watches, like he had just last spring, as his best friend falls, limp, to the ground. He sees him die and is unable to do anything about it. Again.

That evening, they have a bonfire. The final showdown had happened on the beach, where the Night Yorb had been ready to extend its power from the shores of Solace to Leviathan to Fallinel and beyond until the Bad Kids stopped it.

Now, Kristen and Fig are teaching Ayda how to shotgun a beer with mixed results. Adaine and Aelwyn are curled together, Aelwyn already trancing after using every ounce of her abjuration magic to keep her sister from being completely obliterated in the last ten minutes of the battle. Gorgug had almost immediately been mobbed with invasive, uncomfortable relationship advice from the Seven Maidens, who had come to help in the last fight after Riz had cracked the code which revealed the location of the Night Yorb’s power source with Zelda’s help. The half-orc seems fine, if a little overwhelmed by their chattering--Zelda is at least acting as something of a buffer.

Fabian and Riz had been side by side to strike the finishing blow to the Night Yorb when it went down. He’d turned and looked at Riz and had seen the bruises and the blood and the lines of pain in his face and had pulled out his sheet without hesitation. Riz hadn’t even pretended to protest.

Now, as they sit in the shadows, the fire’s light flickering over the bags under Riz’s eyes and the hollows of his cheeks, Fabian doesn’t pretend to resist the urge he has to pull the fabric tighter around Riz, tucking it between his arms and chest so it can’t pull free when the goblin shifts. He’s pressed up against Fabian’s side, half on top of him as Fabian drapes his arms around him and pulls one knee up against his back. His other leg extends out towards the fire and they’d both kicked off their shoes like everyone else had a long time ago. He digs his toes into the cold sand and lets it remind him he’s alive. They have survived.

“You know, I’m not actually that cold,” Riz mutters. His ears are drooping with exhaustion. Fabian hums and leans his chin on the crown of his head. Riz’s hair smells like seasalt. “You could take your blanket back now.”

“Battle sheet,” Fabian corrects absentmindedly. “You uncomfortable?”

“No.” His voice is so soft. He wriggles one hand out of the sheet--Fabian feels an unhappy rumble begin in his chest--and curls his clawed fingers around Fabian's hand, splayed in the sand beside Riz’s sheet-encased hip for balance. Fabian tightened his grip immediately. The rumble dies in his throat. “No, I’m not.”

“Good.” Fabian tugs the sheet just a little more, secures it, and rests.

~

It happens when they’re not in mortal danger or coming down from a battle high, too. The first time Fabian notices it--and when he notices Riz noticing it--is movie night. All the Bad Kids as well as Ragh, Tracker, Ayda and Aelwyn are gathered at Mordred Manor, sprawled over couches and armchairs and across the floor. Fabian is cuddled up to Aelwyn on the couch, Adaine on her other side, when he is chosen to be the first sacrifice in the name of snack refills. Naturally, he tells everyone goodnaturedly that he hates them, and goes.

Fabian isn’t even really thinking about it when he does it.

He comes back and sets the popcorn in Tracker’s lap and hands the sodas out and then he realizes that his spot next to Aelwyn has been filled by Fig, who is sitting with Ayda in her lap and very much not paying attention to the crystal screen. Both Abernant sisters do not look like they appreciate this development, but neither are very likely to say anything in the name of keeping the peace.

So Fabian shrugs and begrudgingly lopes over to the cushy armchair with the winged back where Riz is curled up with his knees to his chest. The Ball looks up, startled, but doesn’t make a sound when Fabian picks him right up, plops down in the armchair and then sets The Ball down beside him. Without even really looking away from the movie, the half-elf digs out his sheet and unfolds it, letting the sparks settle before he spreads it over both of them. Riz is wedged between his left thigh and the armrest, small enough that he doesn’t have to fully sit in Fabian’s lap to share the space. He does have to lean into Fabian’s side to see the screen around him though; Fabian feels more than sees The Ball glance at him out of the corner of his eye. His tail slaps once, twice against Fabian’s side, and Fabian drops his arm onto The Ball’s back in response, quelling the detective’s squirming. The Ball leans harder into his side and mutters to himself.

“What?” Fabian asks, defensive and not really understanding why.

“You know you could’ve just asked to sit down,” Riz says. What he means is, what the fuck, Fabian?

“Can we just watch the movie in peace, please?” Fabian replies. What he means is, please don’t call attention to this.

Riz shuts up. They watch the movie in peace.

Fabian catches Aelwyn looking at him that night, a strange gleam in her eye; it’s the one she gets when she’s mastered an overly complicated piece of magic that’s been elusive for a long time. Fabian shifts, but doesn’t let go of Riz, who is tucked even more tightly into his side as the night wears on, his head on Fabian’s chest and the sheet tangled up between them.

He shakes it off; there’s nothing here for Aelwyn to understand.

Nothing.

~

After that, it’s just an easy way of keeping track of Riz. The rogue has such high sleight of hand and stealth; he’s really a menace to society. Fabian is doing the authorities a favor, honestly. It also helps him get used to how to whip the sheet in a non-lethal capacity, teaches him how hard to snap the fabric around someone’s ankle to send them careening back to their spot on the couch, or how to flick it around their waist to pull them back to his side without leaving bruises. He even gets good enough to snag Riz’s tail and yank him back from the curb when he went to step into the road without looking up from his clues, which is probably the coolest thing Fabian does that week.

Riz complains and pouts and never tells him directly to stop, which he would if it were a real issue. But since he is a gentleman first Fabian asks, just to make sure.

“I don’t--really mind, actually,” Riz says haltingly. The tips of his ears are slowly turning turquoise. Fabian is extremely interested in this development. For science, of course. “It’s nice, knowing--uh, knowing you’re there to, like, catch me. If I fall. Or something. And the elemental keeps the sheet really warm, so. It’s nice. I don’t mind.”

Fabian grins, and something strange and pleasant settles in his chest.

~

The first time he really has to confront the idea that maybe it’s not just Fabian being paranoid about the amount of time he spends wrapping Riz in a sheet is when Aelwyn breaks up with him. It’s been coming for a long time, so obvious it’s like staring down an oncoming train. Aelwyn is trying to be kinder now, has been working on being gentler with people, and so of course she comes to their meeting at the ice cream shop with a delicately worded bullet point list on why they can’t be together anymore.

“And really, we did both acknowledge exactly how unhealthy for each other we are when we got into this,” she finishes, looking up at him over the rims of her new catlike glasses. She and Adaine match now. “I mean, I very explicitly stated how bad an idea this was and you agreed.”

“Yeah,” Fabian says, because he did. It still doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Honestly Fabian, sometimes I--I wonder why you even said yes in the first place. It’s not like you don’t have another, probably better, option hanging around all the time.”

He has no fucking idea what that’s supposed to mean. “I have no fucking idea what that’s supposed to mean.”

Aelwyn looks at him, shrewd and calculating, and then sighs. “Men. You’re all so useless.”

“Hey,” Fabian says, halfhearted. She just broke up with him; it’d be nice of her to display a little consideration.

Her mouth presses into a thin line, and even though he knows she’s not happy about this either, Fabian gets the distinct feeling she’s laughing at him. Just a little. “How come you never wrap me in your sheet?”

“Wh-what?”

“You always wrap Riz in your battle sheet. Constantly. I’ve counted three times this week, Fabian, and it’s only Thursday. How come you never wrap me in your precious battle sheet? I was your girlfriend up until this moment, wasn’t I?”

“I have no idea what The Ball has to do with you breaking up with me,” Fabian tells her honestly.

“Everything, my dear.” Aelwyn says as she stands and tosses a five dollar bill on their table in Basrar’s. “Absolutely everything. Think about it.”

~

The Ball has nothing to do with this.

“You have nothing to do with this.” Fabian tells him when Riz rushes into his room in Seacaster Manor, armed with dvds and ice cream and a grim expression Fabian recognizes from the moment before he ate Kalvaxus’s face off.

“Well if you didn’t want me here why did you call me?” Riz asks, looking affronted. He takes a step towards the door but wavers, looking back and forth between the hallway beyond and Fabian’s teary, red face. “Look, I wanna help, but if you need some time alone--”

“No! That’s not what I meant.” Fabian flaps one arm at him frantically. “I just-- it’s just stupid, never mind, just get over here, The Ball.”

Riz dumps the items in his arms and bounds over, sympathy leaking over his expression. He stops by the foot of the bed which is too far away and Fabian would roll his eyes and whip the sheet out for him if he weren’t already wrapped up in it and trying not to look like he’s been crying for the past hour and a half. He has not. He has only been crying for an hour and twenty minutes, thank you very much.

“I’m really sorry, Fabian,” Riz says, soft and kind and what Fabian needs to hear and what he wants none of at the same time. “I know you really like Aelwyn.”

Something in The Ball’s expression shifts, a little, drops down and gets even more serious and Fabian feels that instinctive, commonplace need to know more about him. Fabian fails an insight roll though, and shakes his head. He reaches out again. “Just, just come here, The Ball, gods--”

“I’m standing right next to you--” is all The Ball can get out before he lets out a high little yelp and gets lifted into the air. He’s so light Fabian can manhandle him onto the mattress and into the sheet with one arm. Fabian wonders if he’s getting enough to eat, if he’s spiraling in his office too much, if he hasn’t been sleeping lately. After the Night Yorb incident, he and The Ball had slept in the same bed on and off, on the promise to wake each other up when they had nightmares. It was a terrible few weeks.

The only thing Fabian misses, he admits to himself as he sets The Ball down on the mattress next to him and drapes half of the sheet across his shoulders, is the warmth he woke up to every morning. Riz is a familiar, reassuring weight against Fabian’s side; he didn’t realize after the nightmares went away and The Ball started sleeping over on the weekends rather than every night how much he would miss this.

Riz is, as always, game once he realizes what the plan is. He curls up under the sheet with a familiarity that makes the pressure in Fabian’s cracked chest ease just a little. He wraps his arms around Fabian’s middle and his tail flicks up to curl loosely around Fabian’s wrist where his arm is hooked around The Ball’s shoulders. The sheet is soft as cream and silvery in the low light as it folds around them both; it is on autopilot that Fabian takes the edges of the sheet and tucks them around his friend, until they are nothing more than a weirdly shaped lump of fabric.

“I’m supposed to comfort you right now, not the other way around,” The Ball points out, humor coloring his tone even as he keeps his voice low. Fabian leans harder against him and Riz grunts.

“You are,” Fabian says. “You are.”

He’s not okay, but he will be.

~

Fabian gets over Aelwyn relatively quickly, which should probably be a sign of how serious he actually was about her. But there’s still something strange in not looking forward to meeting her now, after a year of striving to get information on her, a year of striving to get her out of prison, a year of striving to come off as anything besides an awkward teenage boy when she kisses him. It leaves Fabian at a bit of a loose end.

So, naturally, he makes it The Ball’s problem. Or not-problem. It’s more like a solution. He is the solution to The Ball’s depressing self-care mystery. The Ball, it is unsurprising to note, is terrible at taking care of himself. Fabian, on the other hand, has literally trained all his life to protect and fight for others; he’s gotten very good at turning this innate urge into making sure The Ball eats enough and sleeps enough and takes a goddamn break every once in a while.

Case in point.

“Come on, The Ball,” Fabian whines. “This place is honestly so depressing, you reek, and I know for a fact you haven’t slept in three days. It is time to go home.”

“My mom asked me to help her, Fabian,” Riz says. He doesn’t turn to look at Fabian when he speaks, nimble fingers spidering across a map of Elmville he has set up on the wall. There are strings of different colors connecting seemingly random locations together, but Fabian does not doubt they make sense to The Ball. It must be a serious case, anyway; The Ball only loses his hat and tie when it’s serious business. “I can’t give up now.”

“It’s not giving up. Why do you always have to assume that stopping for a little while makes everything worse?”

“Sure feels like it.”

Okay. Time to pull out the big guns. Fabian takes a deep breath and prays Riz won’t hate him for this tomorrow. “Your mom is worried about you. Again.”

Riz’s head jerks around sharply enough that Fabian winces. There’s a sharp crack and Fabian watches as the ink from the broken pen in Riz’s clawed hand drips to the hardwood. Ah, well. That’s the least horrible thing that’s stained this floor. When the detective turns to him Fabian takes a hasty step back. The slits of his eyes dilate wildly, shrinking and growing in size rapidly.

“Did you,” Riz asks deliberately slowly, “just try to use my mom against me?”

“It’s true,” Fabian protests weakly. “She sent me here when I asked where you were. She thought you were with me anyway and she got really mad when she figured out you were still working. You gotta learn to take breaks, man.”

Just like that, Riz deflates. His shoulders relax from where they’ve been hunched around his ears since Fabian walked in and his hackles lower. He scrubs a hand through his hair, leaving trails of blue ink through the strands; Fig would probably call it a look . “I hate when I make her worry.”

“You make everyone worry,” Fabian says without thinking, before backpedaling like a champ at Riz’s scandalized look. “Wait! No! I didn’t--it’s just that you make her-- and me-- but you don’t mean to so it’s fine. Is it hot in here? I feel like it’s hot in here. We should go. Let’s go.”

“You worry about me?”

It’s the quiet way The Ball says it, quiet in the way he hasn’t heard often since the Nightmare King’s Forest, that makes Fabian square his shoulders and set his jaw in determination. He rolls initiative on a surprise round and succeeds. Nat twenty.

“Right.” Fabian declares, and reaches into his jacket. “We’re doing this.”

“What?” Riz’s eyes widen a second later, though, because his insight is crazy high and even his passive rolls are ridiculous. “Aw, no, Fabian, you don’t need to get the sheet out. I don’t need the sheet!”

“It’s too late. It’s already over.”

“Oh come on man, I didn’t mean it like that!”

“It's inescapable,” Fabian flourishes as the sheet unwinds and dances before him, obscuring The Ball’s view of him. “You’ve brought this on yourself.”

Between one blink and the next, Fabian has thrown the sheet about his best friend, movements fluid and expert from so much practice. He’s sure to leave Riz’s inky hand free, but he takes care to bundle his legs into the sheet. Fabian wraps one end of the sheet around the unoccupied arm before pulling it across his body gently and tucks the other end over his chest in the opposite direction before securing the free edge between Riz’s back and his own chest.

Riz is still so light in his arms as Fabian hoists him right off the ground and into a princess carry. Riz squawks and waves his one free hand in Fabian’s face, which makes Fabian grimace and lean back. Ink splatter across the desk.

“Spring break,” Fabian says. He meets Riz’s dark eyes, something in his gut sparking and fluttering and warming him all the way to his toes. “I believe in you.”

“Spring break, I believe in you,” Riz repeats, laughing and accepting the bardic inspiration before rolling his eyes. “It’s nearly winter, you dolt.” It makes something soft in Fabian curl up tight in his chest to hear his best friend laugh, to feel it reverberate in his own arms, in his own bones, and Fabian grins right back.

“The sentiment still stands. Just because you mess up every now and then doesn’t mean that you’re a bad son, The Ball. You’re just so passionate and conscientious and you want to make sure you do your work right the first time so no one gets hurt on your watch. That’s a noble thing to do. Your mom and me worrying about your well-being doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person; it’s just a sign of how much we love you.”

Fabian takes the stairs down to the parking lot as he speaks, focusing more on his feet than Riz’s face, because if he does focus on Riz and his wide eyes and the way his pupils are really fucking dilated right now and how his dumb hair is slicked back with ink and the way his ears are twitching and how he smells like coffee beans and old newspapers, the something in his gut will come up to his chest and constrict around his heart and then he’ll do something really stupid like lean in and--

Nope! Not dealing! Fabian gets his kisses in-- got his kisses in--enough already. No need to deal with all-- this.  

But then Fabian finishes his speech and The Ball makes a strange squeaking noise, and his hand comes to ball up under his own chin, and his eyes are still very wide and his face is so soft and he’s biting his lip, fuck.

Fabian’s hands are sweaty and he nearly fumbles his handful as he comes down hard off the last step, rolling a natural two on his athletics. He curses.

Sire! Are you alright? I will destroy the very stones which mock your footing until they are nothing but dust!

I’m fine, Hangman. Just tripped.

Shall we be escorting The Ball home, then?

“You can let me down now,” Riz says at that exact moment, just as Fabian goes to confirm with his bike. Whatever his expression meant before, the jolt seems to have knocked some sense into him before Fabian could roll insight, and the goblin shifts in his arms. Fabian tightens his grip reflexively, and Riz settles. “You don’t have to take me home.”

“Don’t have to?” Fabian repeats dumbly. Of course he has to! The Ball is his--his--The Ball is capable and brilliant, yes, but he is small and a rogue and Fabian is a martial class. He should be here, to make sure that The Ball is safe.

What do you mean we’re not taking The Ball home? The Hangman howls in the back of his mind. Fabian one hundred percent agrees with the bewildered sentiment.

“I have a bus pass now, I was going to take it home tonight anyway. You’re on the other side of town from me, so you'd just be going out of your way.”

Master! The Hangman exclaims, engines revving. The Ball must not stoop so low as to take the bus!

This is another development that Fabian didn’t really realize was happening until after the fact; The Hangman, for whatever reason, has gotten weirdly possessive of Riz. They’ve given more rides to the detective than the rest of the Bad Kids combined. The Hangvan has been the subject of more than a few arguments.

We are much more capable of protecting The Ball than this bus, Sire. With your battle sheet and my infernal soul, we will be an impenetrable defense!

Fabian isn’t sure what they’re defending Riz against, but he’s not going to disagree with The Hangman. They can protect Riz much better if he comes with them.

“The Hangman is right here, The Ball,” Fabian scoffs. “Don’t be silly. Just get on the bike.”

The Ball opens his mouth like he’s thinking of protesting but he’s also forgetting two very important facts: Fabian has eight points of Strength on him and has him wrapped in his battle sheet, effectively grappled. He hasn't got a chance unless he wants to take the fall damage from wrenching himself away from Fabian, which he would never do. Riz trusts Fabian.

A soft, golden glow starts up in Fabian’s chest at the thought. The Ball should trust Fabian. Fabian--Fabian wants to keep The Ball safe and warm and cared for, and like this, wrapped snugly in Fabian’s regard, The Ball is all of those things. It means a lot--so, so much--that The Ball trusts Fabian to provide this for him.

Okay, Fabian is getting off track again.

“You’re getting on the bike,” Fabian declares imperiously, and plops The Ball down on the seat before sliding on in front of him. He waits, The Hangman revving below them, until he feels The Ball curl up against his back. His arms worm their way around Fabian’s waist and his sharp chin digs into his shoulder; something in the half-elf loosens and expands and the warm glow gets brighter.

They’re silent on the drive home; he can feel Riz curl up tighter against the wind and the sheet flutters around the two of them. Sparks flicker across the fabric, retaining warmth against the night’s coming chill. Fabian purposefully drives slowly, lets the time tick by as Riz presses warm up against his back, safe and sound and wrapped in Fabian’s protection, with Fabian’s bardic inspiration flowing through him. He also purposefully does not consider why this is so very important to him.

It is only when they stop outside Riz’s apartment and he disembarks--The Hangman lets out a low rev of his engine, almost like a purr-- that they break the soft silence that’s descended.

“Back at my office,” Riz starts, faltering, as he hands the sheet back. “You said--you love me?”

Panic bursts like fireworks in Fabian’s chest. “Wh-uh?” He says. “Uh. Uh. You have ink in your hair.”

Then Fabian makes a tactical decision and runs the fuck away. It is not his best moment. (However, since Chungle-Down Bim isn’t there, it’s also not his worst.)

~

He is not avoiding The Ball. He is regrouping, coming up with a strategic return and possibly a retaliation for whatever weird, confusing, warm feelings Riz keeps setting fire to in his chest. This is strategy. This is war.

This, frankly, sucks. So much.

The Ball has called four times in the past week before giving up abruptly on Wednesday. It is Sunday afternoon. They usually spend Saturday night watching movies or going to Basrar’s together and then take Sunday to spar (for Fabian) and go over the latest town mystery (for Riz). They have done neither of these things; they also have not texted, spoken or passed each other on the street. Riz is supposed to come over for homework and hot chocolate on weekdays in the winter. He’s supposed to give The Ball rides home every day, to make sure he doesn’t have to walk home in the rain or snow. They’re supposed to be together--

And Fabian has no one to blame for their separation but himself. It twists his gut, seeing The Ball light up his phone so much before the calls stop and he’s left with nothing but unending silence. He can’t seem to stop trying to catch a glimpse of him in the halls at Aguefort, looking for a briefcase or a flat cap, anything, anything. But In the end, he’s the one avoiding The Ball. He’s the one not answering his phone.

He’s the one with weird feelings in his chest.

This cannot, Fabian realizes, possibly go on. He’s having trouble sleeping, and when he does he’s gone back to having nightmares about Riz falling during the Night Yorb debacle. He needs to sort this out, fast.

But Riz is a rogue and so his stealth rolls win out every damn time against Fabian’s perception, and  throughout the next week there’s no time between classes to catch him and he’s nowhere to be found at lunch.

Adaine doesn’t seem too happy with Fabian either, and hasn’t since this weekend. Riz must have said something to her about him, but she relents easily enough when she sees his frantic expression.

“He’s been skipping class to work on that case with his mom for a couple days,” she says. “He--doesn’t really want to see you that much, Fabian.”

It feels like his heart breaks at that, but Fabian smiles winningly anyway. “Who wouldn’t want to see me? I’m Fabian Aramais Seacaster.”

“Son of Bill Seacaster, yeah I know,” Adaine finishes, and at least she’s got that fond exasperation back. “Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, Fabian, but you’ve got to fix it. I can’t take Riz moping around much longer. He’s been insufferable.”

“Leave it to me,” Fabian says with more confidence than he’s feeling, and peels out of the parking lot with a roar from The Hangman.

He thinks maybe things are going to be okay, somehow; he’ll make a suitably dramatic entrance, and he’ll say all the right things to get Riz to forget that Fabian had some kind of crisis for a week and change and didn’t bother to let his best friend in on it and they’ll go back to Seacaster Manor and watch dumb B-movies and everything will be fine and Fabian won’t have to confront this weird thing growing perilously close to his heart.

And then he steps into Riz’s office and faces reality.

“What do you want?” Fabian winces at the flat tone of Riz’s voice, the way his eyes won’t meet Fabian’s, the way he’s crossed his arms over his chest and hunched in on himself.

“I--well--uh, that is--” Fabian pauses, breathes. “I just thought I’d check up on you, since last time I was here you were about to fall asleep on your feet. I heard you were working too late again.”

Riz’s mouth is a flat, thin line. “That’s what you want to talk about? My work habits?”

“Well--I--work-life balance is a very real, serious thing, The Ball. Not everyone can be as healthy and committed to self-care as I am. I thought I would help you out, like always.” This is the part where the movie hero would puff out his chest and the girl would fawn all over him and they’d live happily ever after. Fabian doesn’t really feel up to puffing out his chest when Riz’s eyes go hard and flinty like that.

“It didn’t really seem like you cared about my self-care when you were refusing to acknowledge you loved me.”

Oh. Oh.

And that’s just it, isn’t it? The last piece of the puzzle slots into place, and Fabian is absurdly glad Aelwyn isn’t here to cast Detect Thoughts and laugh at his misery as he realizes what she knew practically from the start. Because he’d said it before--toxic masculinity is over. He’s in touch with his emotions now, and he loves his friends and he’d had a hard time showing it or saying it in the beginning but these days his affirmations roll off his tongue like so much honey so why has he had such a hard time with The Ball?

Of course. Of course he loves Riz. It’s--it’s not even that much of a revelation somehow; it’s like he always knew somewhere deep in his soul that they’d end up like this, with Riz being brilliant and brave and kind and Fabian loving him and loving him and loving him. Admitting it to himself, for how hard it has been to see it clearly in the first place, is easy. It’s like saying the sky is blue or Arthur Aguefort is insane. It’s just a fact. Fabian Aramais Seacaster loves Riz Gukgak.

He’s in love with this strange little goblin man and he’s been so dumb about it.

“Okay, okay,” Fabian says, more to himself than The Ball. What happens now? What is he supposed to do? Should he just come out and say it? Or, no, Riz might think he’s joking, or trying to smooth things over. He'd hate it if Riz thought Fabian didn’t mean it the very first time Fabian says those words. Besides, they’re having an argument--a real one, which he doesn’t think they’ve ever had--and this is so not the time. No, he'll tell him after this is over, when they’ve made up and Fabian has taken care of Riz because he does really look like hell, all bags under his eyes and stiff limbs. He needs to apologize, probably, and then get The Ball somewhere safe and warm and comfortable and then he needs to do something grand and dramatic and then he can tell Riz Gukgak he’s in love with him.

“Look, I’m sorry, alright?” It comes out sharper than he intends, but he’s dealing with wave after wave of astonishment and fear and love and he could use a bit of a break, to be honest. “Can we just forget it?” He has to get this over with to get to the next step of his foolproof, ten second plan to woo The Ball in which nothing can possibly go wrong.

“Forget it?” Riz repeats, incredulous. This is not at all going the way Fabian needs it to go. “You want me to forget the time you took back saying you loved me--when you haven’t even called me your best friend, yet--and drove off and then didn’t talk to me for a week? That’s something you think can just be forgotten? You left Fabian!”

“The Ball--Riz--”

“I’m not just going to let this go, Fabian. No. But if you think that I’m just something to be so easily swept to the side and then picked up again when you feel like it, then--then--great! Great. I see clearly now where I stand with you.”

“Okay,” Fabian declares, because enough really is enough, “it’s sheet time.”

“No, Fabian!”

Riz has never raised his voice outside of crazy group antics before. Not to Fabian, at least. The sheet flutters out of his fingers as Fabian stares, open-mouthed. His chest is cracking again, like it did after Aelwyn broke up with him, but this is worse now; this crack is not just a hairline or a fissure, but a damn canyon. It feels like someone reached inside his ribcage and scooped his heart out.

Riz’s mouth twists and he hugs himself tighter, looking as miserable as Fabian feels. “I don’t want your goddamn sheet, okay? I don’t--I don’t need you to act like I’m some kind of burden or--or--”

“A burden--The Ball--”

“Or calling me The Ball all the time!” Riz’s voice rises again. His fists are clenched now. “I’m--I’m sick of you wrapping me up like a little kid. I’m not a baby, okay? I can take care of myself. I'm fine on my own.”

“Riz,” Fabian tries again, weakly. This can’t happen. Not now. Not to them.

“I think it’s best if you leave now,” Riz says grimly, and turns his back. He doesn’t look around when Fabian closes the door softly behind him.

~

“I’m sorry.”

Fabian blinks.

He and The Ball only had their fight two hours ago; he’d got on The Hangman and ignored the bike's probing questions, and gone home and cried and then he’d gotten up and done what he’d thought Riz would do in his place. He made a clue board.

First on the board is the picture of himself and Riz taken the night the Night Yorb was defeated; Fig had snapped a shot without them knowing, of the two of them talking in the firelight, Fabian craning his neck to look down at a swaddled, comfortable looking Riz who was looking up at him, mouth open seemingly in mid-sentence. His hair is in his face and Fabian always looks at it and remembers how seconds afterward he’d reached up and pushed the curls out of Riz’s eyes gently. That was the end of the summer--it’s the middle of winter now. He’s been in love with his best friend at least since then, maybe before.

Next on the board is his half of the best friend necklace; he’d actually stolen it out of Riz’s briefcase on their way to fight the Nightmare King. It was after Fallinel, when he was getting back to himself, reinventing how he saw the world. He’d wanted to know--to have something, just a small thing, that reminded Fabian who really loved him. And Riz had been there.

So. Maybe he was a little in love with Riz back then, too.

The third clue was actually absent from the board, but Fabian writes it on a post-it note and sticks that there in its place; my old letter jacket. He’d gotten a new one when he’d been on the team in the beginning of sophomore year; he’d filled out too much, built up enough muscle from practice that he hadn’t been able to keep using the one his father gave him freshman year. He’d given it to The Ball because he was complaining of the cold one day and then just. Never bothered to take it back.

Riz wears it to his games sometimes. It makes Fabian--feel. Certain things. It’s fine.

The final clue is, of course, the sheet. He almost doesn’t bother pinning that one up either, since it’s pretty fucking obvious. Aelwyn could see it all just from the way he wrapped Riz up in his sheet, after all; he really doesn't need to rest of his clues to figure this out. But there’s something soothing in this, in looking at the world the way he knows Riz looks at it.

He’s just working himself up to maybe crying again when Cathilda knocks on his door and lets Riz quietly into the room.

“What?” Fabian says, because what?

Riz is biting his lip, which is entirely too distracting, when he speaks again. “I was--unfair. And a dick. And I've been--going through some stuff and I put all that on you, and I’m sorry, man. You didn’t deserve that.”

“No, I--I mean, I’m sorry too. I mean--you don’t need to be sorry, because I should be sorry. I just left you hanging and then spaced on you and I didn’t even tell you why, I just wanted to go back to normal. So I’m the one who’s sorry and you can’t take that from me. I’ll fight you if you try, just so you know. Stop being sorry.”

And just like that, the corners of Riz’s mouth turn up which is a relief because Fabian love him and just figured out that he’s maybe been in love with him for over a year, but he also knows that even before he knew he was in love he’d have done just about anything to make sure Riz never looked as sad as he does right now. He’d kill to put a smile on Riz’s face.

“I don’t think you can just have a monopoly on apologizing, Fabian,” Riz says and the way his name sounds out of The Ball’s mouth, gods, how did Fabian not realize this sooner? “I’ve just been--I’ve been dealing with a lot and you’re my best friend, man, and I just...It sucks not talking to you.”

“Yeah,” Fabian agrees. “It really fucking does.”

And then, opening his arms tentatively, “Can I?”

Riz’s face twists horribly then, and Fabian’s heart has just enough time to sink to his stomach before Riz throws himself into Fabian’s arms. Fabian holds him and holds him and doesn’t ever want to let go now, he’s got Riz and he’s pressing his face into Riz’s hair and lifting him up and holding him close to his chest and Riz is wrapping his arms around Fabian’s shoulders, claws scratching at the back of Fabian’s neck, he’s whispering into that twitching ear, “I’ve got you, I’ve got you, I’ve got you, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” and he loves and loves and loves and he doesn’t know if it’s supposed to hurt so sweetly but it does.

“I’m sorry, gods, I’m sorry,” Riz babbles into his shoulder and Fabian wants to tell him to stop but he’d have to interrupt to do that and he can’t, not when he knows Riz has such a hard time with the idea that his friends don’t listen to him. He folds at the knees instead, takes Riz with him to the ground and cradles him like something precious because that’s what The Ball is and has always been, precious and so important and, if he has his way, Fabian’s. “I’m sorry I acted like you didn’t care, I know you do, I just don’t want to ever make you feel like you have to do everything for me, like I’m weak or less than or like I don't get that you have other things, other people to take care of--”

And then Fabian does interrupt because like hell is he letting this slide. “Stop it, stop, I know you’re strong and you’re brave and you’re so smart, Riz, gods, you’re brilliant. I just-- I wanna take care of you, I know I don’t have to but I want to, I love to, I love you, I'm in love with you and I want to take care of you, please.”

It’s only when Riz rears his head back that Fabian realizes what just came tumbling out of his mouth.

“Oh, shit. Uh--I wasn’t supposed to say that yet.”

“Yet?” Riz squeaks and fuck it, Fabian decides. Fuck it all. In for a penny, in for a dime.

“Yeah, yet,” Fabian rushes. His fingers clench and release the fabric over Riz’s spine rhythmically and he can feel the goblin shivering against his chest and without thinking Fabian pulls down his sheet and wraps them both in it. Riz’s skin stands out dark and forest green against the silvery material and he hopes he likes it, hopes it is soft and warm against the thin, fragile surface of Riz’s cheek because Riz is so good and Fabian loves him and he deserves nice things. “I--I was gonna make a plan and strategize and not tell you until I’ve done at least three heroic deeds in your name, dude. I had so many ideas.”

“Ideas?” Riz’s voice is faint.

Fabian nods solemnly. “There were also schematics for a dramatic duel on the clifftops, but we’ve already done that a couple times, so I scrapped it.”

“Too much of a Nightmare King-Night Yorb repeat.”

“Yeah,” Fabian nods. “Exactly. So uh. Just. If you could pretend I haven’t said that yet, I can get on the heroic deeds and we can revisit this. Conversation. Uh, later.”

“Right,” Riz says, nodding slowly too. “Or we could, like, do it right now. Since I'm in love with you too and everything.”

Fabian’s brain stops working.

“Oh.”

“'Oh?' That’s it?”

“I, uh, didn’t plan for this.”

“You didn’t plan for me maybe liking you back? Dude, everybody knows already.”

Fabian draws further away at that, blinking wildly. (His hands stay on Riz’s hip and back because he’s got him now, he’s got him, Riz is in his home and his arms and his heart and wrapped in Fabian’s protection and he’s never leaving if Fabian has anything to say about it.) “Everyone?”

Riz scuffs the back of his neck and his ears are turning turquoise again. “Uh, yeah, man. Adaine told me if I complain about how much I like your eyes to her one more time she’s gonna get Fig to hex me. I um, I thought maybe you were doing the whole sheet thing to, like, let me down easy. Make me see you didn’t think of me as more than like, a kid or someone who needs your help or something.”

“Oh my gods. That is so dumb,” Fabian blurts, because what the fuck, The Ball, seriously. “That is so dumb The Ball. You’re so dumb.”

“Gee, thanks. I really feel like you love me right now, just so you know. Just overwhelming amounts of love pouring out right now.”

“Oh shut up.” Fabian says, laughing. “I wrap you in my sheet because I love you, The Ball. Like, more than I think I’ve ever liked anyone. It’s how Aelwyn knew we were over.”

“Huh?”

“She broke up with me and told me I never wrapped her in my sheet because I was always doing that to you.” Fabian explains, not even bothering to be embarrassed. “Because I've been in love with you for like, forever, man. She just realized it first because I always wanted to use the sheet on you and not my own girlfriend.”

“Oh,” Riz replies, sounding breathless. All things considered, Fabian’s going to take that as a good sign. He leans in now, presses his forehead to the crook of Riz’s neck, and breathes. Riz smells like newspaper and ink and old coffee and Fabian loves him so much. He tilts his head, nosing at the detective’s collar, and slides his lips over warm skin. He lets his teeth catch there, just a hint. “Oh.”

And then, before Fabian can even move, Riz’s hand is in his hair, tangled up in the strands, and he says, very fast, “By the way I’m demisexual, it’s on the asexuality spectrum and I was also being weird because I didn’t know how to deal with how attracted I am to you!”

“Okay,” Fabian says easily, drawing back. “Do you want to have a conversation about it? Because I don’t think I’m your guy for that, but we could go to the LGBT group meeting with Kristen next week and see if they have any resources. Jawbone could probably help too.”

Riz’s pupils are dilating slowly and his mouth hangs open before he snaps out of it. He looks less miserable now but still unsure and it’s not a good look on him. Fabian desperately wants to erase it. “That’s it? You’re not--you don’t think I’m weird?”

“Of course you’re weird, The Ball, but not for that. Besides, I think starting a relationship--we are starting a relationship, right--” Riz nods frantically, the beginnings of a grin forming, and Fabian pauses to lean in and press his mouth to the corner of Riz’s, “with the only problem being you don’t know what to do with all the insanely hot attraction you have for me is, like, the opposite of a hardship, dude.”

He stops then, considers, and then something terrible occurs to Fabian. He pulls even farther back and splays his fingers across Riz’s chest, feels his heart rabbiting there under his fingertips, and says quickly, “Not that I need you to have any kind of--any of that kind of attraction to me, Riz. I’d be okay, you know, with just this. Although you may have to tell me how hot I am from time to time. For, you know, moral support.”

Tension seems to drain out of Riz, has been since Fabian first started speaking, and this time it’s his turn to lean in and brush his lips across Fabian’s mouth. Fabian lets out a breath, takes in the scent of old newsprint and coffee and realizes he could die happy here. “You are, in fact, very hot, Fabian. And--thank you. For understanding. I might--I’m not super interested in sex, but. It’s a maybe. If you’d like it to be, for the future.”

“Of course I would, you’re incredibly attractive. But it’s not that big a deal,” Fabian says, and he picks them both up off the floor.

The sheet comes with them, sparks playing along the skin of his forearms but never burning him as he sets Riz down on the mattress because Riz is good and perfect and loves Fabian and deserves better than to sit on the floor. He doesn’t hesitate like he usually would now, and curls up around Riz, pulls the sheet over them both, encases them and pulls Riz close, closer, closest. “I love you. I’m probably not going to stop saying it now, just so you know. I’m going to be very annoying about it.”

Riz reaches up and brushes his claws lightly over Fabian’s brow and his smile is so soft something in Fabian melts. “It’s a good thing I love you then, or I’d never be able to put up with it.”

[oureuphoria]

Hiii, this is the old version of this chapter before I revamped the series because a lot of people have asked for it :DDD

———————

Jungkook was confused. He was confused about how you had gotten in, he was confused about why you had gotten and he was confused about who you were with. This was the most confused he had ever been and Jungkook took AP calculus. He ignored you however, opting looking at his phone instead. The date struck a chord in Jungkook’s head, finally remembering that it was your 21st birthday, and he missed it. Jungkook tried to tell himself that the boy was probably just a random friend, someone insignificant because you needed to fill the void he left. It was selfish, but he needed it to get him through the night. Everything was fine and under control. Jungkook wasn’t worried. Until, you went with the mystery boy to the dance floor, then Jungkook was beginning to feel his blood boil.

“Jimin, I can’t dance.” “Nobody can, just follow my lead you’ll be fine.” Jimin spun you around into his arms and you playfully danced together (although it was mostly stiff swaying on your part). Jungkook was livid but before he could spiral further he was broken out of his trance when Mel whispered into his ear. “I told you so.” He turned around and glared at her before claiming he didn’t even care. Jimin noticed his look of disinterest, not sensing the ingenuity behind his facade. “Damn, it’s not working. We need to try harder.” You furrowed your eyebrow at him questioningly at his vague suggestion, you needed to draw the line. “I’m just putting this out there, I am not kissing you that is never happening.” Jimin laughed uncontrollably for a bit and you tried not to take offence, after all, you didn’t like the idea of kissing him either. “You literally remind me of my little sister, I wouldn’t dream of it.” You both stood there close to each other trying to come up with a way to make Jungkook jealous without actually looking like you were trying to come up with a way to make Jungkook jealous. “Oh, I’m a genius, come with me.” He grabbed your wrist and you followed him to what was a secluded area that had dim lighting and a few elevator doors.

“So, what’s the plan?”

“This is it, this is the plan.” You looked at him with astonishment, he could not have been serious. “This is a shitty plan, Jimin.” He ignored your pessimism and gestured to the couples around you, all engaged in borderline public indecency. You got the hint but you weren’t sure that Jungkook would. While you were scowling at the vivid displays of PDA, Jimin slightly peaked from the edge of the wall where he spotted his target. “Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! Y/N!” You quickly turned to him muttering a hushed, “what?!?” “He’s coming, he’s literally coming. Get into position.” “What position? We never discussed any positions.” Jimin quickly trapped you between the wall and his two arms and it was kind of awkward because you were almost the same height. Whatever macho move he was trying to pull had failed embarrassingly. “Okay, now giggle like I said something funny.” All you did is glare at him. “This is ridiculous Jimin I-” “Do you want revenge or not?” You tried not to whine because frankly enough this was not how you wanted to spend your birthday. You sucked it up anyway because Jimin’s scheme had no forseeable end. “Ha. Ha. Ha.” “God forbid you ever become a spy, you suck at this.” You were about to reply before a cough had you both looking to your left at the origin of the sound only to find what seemed to be a mildly distraught Jungkook. “Sorry, do you mind if I borrow her for a second?” Jimin nodded a little too eagerly and if it wasn’t for his distracted mind, Jungkook might’ve picked up on the inconsistency. You weren’t the only bad actor. Jungkook gave you barely any time to think before he dragged you to an even more secluded corner next to the bar.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook knew exactly what you were doing but he realised he needed a cover for randomly pulling you away, he couldn’t just admit he was jealous, that would be extremely hypocritical. “None of your business." “When you’re underage it is.” He knew it was your birthday and that you were of legal age but he couldn’t possibly tell you that, not when you could barely look him in the eyes.. “Nope, it still isn’t.” Jungkook didn’t know what to say but he knew he didn’t want you to leave his side at all. You didn’t like the awkward silence so you made an an attempt to leave, but it was futile. “Now if you don’t mind I have to go find my friend.” Just as you are about to walk away from him, Jungkook rested his hand on your shoulder and you halted, your back facing him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you want me to leave you alone tonight.” You hated the cockiness in his tone, you shouldn’t have given in but you turned around to face him out of spite.

However, the moment your eyes interlocked with his, you were gone and the only thing you could think about was your lips on his. It didn’t take long for you to lose your resolve, in fact his lips were making their way down your neck before you’d even realised you kissed him. You gasped quickly under your breath when he began to suck on the lower part of your neck, he grazed his teeth over the same place afterwards before detaching his lips and smiling deviously at the mark he made, the mark you had no idea existed. “Have fun with friend tonight, Y/N.” And with those final words of false encouragement, he walked away. You stood there where he left you, frozen for a bit while blinking rapidly to try and comprehend what had just occurred right before you. You rushed to find Jimin.

“What happened?” Jimin’s voice was laced with concern at the sight of your teary eyes. “Nothing, Jungkook’s just an asshole.’” “Details stupid.” “I kissed him and he kissed back before running off with some bullshit ‘have fun with your friends’ You mimicked his part in a deeper voice that made Jimin chuckle a little, though he quickly stopped when he saw your neck. “Y/N he gave you a hickey.” You gasped loudly. “Please tell me you’re lying.” You ran your fingers over where he kissed your neck and winced when you felt a bruise. “Oh no. Now I have to wear turtlenecks everyday.” Jimin laughs at your now even sadder state. “Don’t you get it? He clearly did that on purpose to deter me. Sneaky, smooth, handsome bastard. You have got to ask him to teach me his tricks.” You looked at Jimin in disgust and he mocked your face before wrapping his arm around your neck. “Oh our little baby Y/N got her first hickey how amazing.” You elbowed him slightly again and he swiftly pulled your hair out of your ponytail. “You can use your hair to cover it up.” You hated having your hair down but he was right, it conveniently covered the hickey quite well. You went back to sit at the bar with Jimin but he excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Someone sat beside you and you had assumed it was Jimin but when you turned around you were met with Jungkook instead and sirens went off in your head like that scene in the movie inside out.

“Did I tell you that you could cover it?” You didn’t give much attention to what Jungkook had said, you forgive too easily and you weren’t going to let that happen again. Jungkook could see that you were uncomfortable and he hated the fact that he couldn’t comfort you or make you feel better. Hell, he was most likely a huge part of the discomfort you had felt lately and he regretted every second of it now. If he couldn’t bare to see you with someone else he wondered how badly he’d hurt you in the past by doing even worse. “Why did you lie to me?” You barely mustered the courage to ask him that question. He hummed in reply to your broken voice, not understanding what you had asked. “Why did you lie and say that you liked me when you didn’t?” Jungkook kept his lead low, trying to formulate an excuse, any excuse and yet nothing but the truth would come to mind. “I didn’t lie.” You scoffed bitterly, clearly not believing his answer. “I hope you don’t go around hurting all the people you like, Jungkook.” He laughed lifelessly, swinging around his drink before chugging it. He decided then and there that he was going to tell you everything, every single worry that stopped him from being with you because the last thing he wanted was to make you feel like you were the problem.

“In high school, I fell in love with a girl named Ruby. She was absolutely beautiful, the kindest soul I had ever met. Senior year, she was killed in a public shooting. I swore to myself that I’d pursue law enforcement after that so I’d never be that helpless again. She’s the reason I became a cop. She’s also the reason I thought I could never fall in love again. Y/N when I first met you I didn’t plan to like you as much as I did, frankly I didn’t plan to like you at all. I’ve been alone ever since I was 16 and after Ruby passed away I never thought I wouldn’t be. It felt unnatural for me to do simple things like take you out on dates or even reply to your messages. I kept forgetting and fucking up the more I’d try and every time I saw you I’d feel more and more guilty because I couldn’t give you what you wanted.”

“All I wanted was you, Jungkook. I didn’t want all your time or attention, I probably would’ve been okay with one phone call a week but you were so inconsistent. You’d talk to me nearly everyday and then not at all. I’d feel like I was getting closer to you and then you would feel like a stranger again. It was exhausting and it hurt and I know it hurt you too. You need to stop denying yourself happiness. What happened in the past will never change, no matter how much you beat yourself up about it. Moving on and being happy with someone else doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her. It just means you’re not forgetting yourself.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m such a horrible person.” You shook your head. “You’re not a horrible person, you just deal with your doubts and problems horribly. From now on, you have to tell me what’s troubling you. Show me the worst of you, and we can deal with it together.” If Jungkook wasn’t sure about liking you before, he was head over heels now. He hugged you, his head sinking into the crook of your neck. “I don’t deserve you.” You laughed a little at what he said. “If you ever ignore me like that again. I’ll never forgive you.” Jungkook chuckled and pulled back from your embrace, looking you dead in the face now.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” You looked at him weirdly but you quickly dissolved into a smile. “So you did remember!” His face softened at your excitement, your sleepy eyes shining through though. “Come on, let me take you home.” You were about to agree but then you remembered your friend and you wondered where he went. “Give me one second.” Jungkook’s eyes visibly hardened. “Are you going to look for Jimin? Seriously Y/N?” You pouted with pleading eyes. “But he’s my best friend, I have to at least say goodbye!” Jungkook looked confused now. “I thought he was your date.” Your face fell when you realised you had just blown your cover. Jimin was right, you would make the worst spy. Jungkook was beginning to realise what had happened now and he seemed even angrier. “Y/N please tell me you didn’t do all of that just to make me jealous.” “Well it worked, didn’t it? Let’s go now.” You were dragging Jungkook away mid-way through your question, you pulled out your phone to call Jimin and he immediately answered. “Y/N did you secure the bag yet?” You obnoxiously laughed at his horrible code name and Jungkook looked at you weirdly. “Where did you put my coat?” There was a pause that was prolonged by Jimin’s “ummmmmmm…” which eventually resulted in him telling you to wait and hanging up.

“I don’t think he’s coming Y/N, here you can have my jacket.” You rolled your eyes, he clearly didn’t like Jimin. “Calm down will you, it’s been like 40 seconds.” Jungkook clicked his tongue in annoyance, eyeing your dress cautiously. “Maybe if you wore something that covered you more you wouldn’t need a coat.” You started to giggle a bit. “It’s a pretty dress don’t you think?” “No it’s hideous. You’ll throw it away once you get home and never wear it again, right?” You shook your head, wanting to tease him. “I like it, I think I’ll dress like this more often.” Jungkook groaned before pulling you towards him by the waist. “I’m going to get you a shirt that says “my boyfriend’s a cop” and you’re going to wear it everywhere.” You would’ve laughed if he hadn’t addressed himself as your boyfriend. You smiled nervously, you wanted to address it but you were scared he’d run away. Your nervous face made Jungkook worry. “You do want me to be your boyfriend, right?” You smiled sheepishly at his question. “Yes please.” You mumbled ever so slightly. He hugged you painfully close before kissing the top of your head. “I missed you, princess.” You didn’t know how to feel about the pet name, was he still mocking you or complimenting you? “I’m not sure if I like that nickname or not.” Jungkook laughed at your hesitancy to accept the nickname.

Jimin ran out with your coat, handing it to you and then looking at you and Jungkook with teasing eyes. You glared at him so he raised his hands defensively and went back into the club, blowing a kiss your way. Jungkook hailed a cab and opened the door for you. He then leaned down to speak to you which you found peculiar because you thought he was going with you. “I have to go back inside, the Chief’s there and I’m really trying to get a promotion.” The desperation in his voice made you belt out a bubbly laugh before you stopped abruptly at his pointed glare. He sent you off with a goodnight and gave the driver a $50 note before letting you go. When you were about to pay the cab driver he laughed and said your boyfriend had already paid and too much at that. You were about to correct him till you remembered, he really was your boyfriend, you went home with a huge, beaming smile.

I’m so sorry this is so late 😭😭😭 @p-jiminaa

[hopelessromanticspoonie]

A New Year’s Truth

Characters: Loki x Empath Avenger Reader

Summary: Reader is stuck at Stark Tower with Loki after the December holidays are finished. But each glancing touch with Loki speaks a truth that he doesn’t seem willing to face. Will the New Year change that?

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This is only loosely edited, as I’m still very very ill. I will go back and further edit it once I’m better, but I wanted to get this out to y’all before the New Year. I hope you enjoy!

The time between the various winter holidays and the New Year was always a weird one.

It was as if the world was stuck in a holding pattern, waiting with bated breath for a new year with new expectations to begin. When was the right time to take down all the festive decorations? How long was socially acceptable to do absolutely nothing on the couch but watch cheesy movies from your childhood and pig out on chocolate-covered treats? All the stress and excitement died down to leave everyone in a trance-like state, shuffling in pajamas from the couch to the kitchen to bed and back again. For some it was a relief, to finally have the stress and familial obligations lifted from their weary shoulders. For others, that had never been a concern, and one day just melted into the next.

It was the fourth day that you’d worked on permanently etching a likeness of your backside into the couch while you binged Bake Off and ate your weight in the last of the cookies you had made for Christmas. They were left behind, as were you, after your teammates had all split off to spend the last of the year with their respective families - even Steve and Bucky had gone with Nat and Sam to relax with Clint’s family.

You wiped a stray crumb from your shirt when Loki strolled in from the direction of the kitchen. He was the only other inhabitant in the tower, choosing to stay rather than to go to New Asgard with Thor and play diplomat for a people lukewarm to him at the best of times. You didn’t blame him. He cast a critical eye at your disheveled appearance before folding himself gracefully into the comfortable leather chair he preferred, pulling a book from his pocket dimension to read while he sipped at the steaming mug in his hand.

You could practically feel the judgment pouring off of him in waves without looking at him. Groaning at your ruined relaxation, you rolled your head around to stare at him, quirking a brow. “Out with it.”

He mirrored your expression, although with much more disdain and arrogance than you could ever muster. “I beg your pardon.”

“I don’t need to go over there and touch you to know that you’re judging me. Spill it,” you muttered, sitting up and stretching, arching your back into it with a sigh you felt all the way down to your toes. You tugged your hoodie back down from where it had exposed just a sliver of the skin of your stomach, and Loki’s eyes quickly flitted from it back up to your face. Interesting.

“If you must know,” he closed his book, leaving it to rest on his lap, “I am honestly astonished that one could descend so far into a vegetative state without going comatose. I do not believe you have moved from that spot but to sleep or gather food in days.”

You stood, brushing cookie crumbs from your sweatpants absentmindedly. “And?”

“It is almost impressive, were it not such a waste. There is much to be done, and yet you are perfectly content to waste away watching others live their lives.”

As if he was one to talk, sitting there drinking his tea without a care in the world. “And what is there to be done exactly?”

“To begin, the decorations from Christmas and Hanukkah remain on display, and the kitchen is almost out of provisions,” he rattled off with a shrug.

Well, that second one certainly would need tending to. Normally the groceries were delivered twice a week from a food order that everyone contributed to, but you had forgotten about it when it hadn’t been brought to your attention. Perhaps a bit of fresh air would do you some good. You left the room without another word, quickly dressing and making yourself presentable to the public before coming back out into the living room with Loki’s wool pea coat draped over your arms.

“C’mon, Muscles. You can help me carry the groceries.” You held up his coat for him in invitation, shaking it lightly.

He rose, smoothing his hands down his white button-up shirt to come to a stop on his hips. There weren’t any wrinkles to be found on his outfit, but you would touch that body at any opportunity if given the chance, so who could blame him? “You expect me to accompany you to the market?”

You popped up a hip and mocked his rich, velvet accent that admittedly sent shivers of pleasure down your spine. “You expect to eat, don’t you?”

~

The once pristine glittering snow had morphed into a grey sludge that sucked at your feet with each step back from the store. Your hands were thrust out from your sides to maintain your tenuous balance as you trudged along behind Loki, who had taken the reusable bags full of food from you without protest excluding a well-executed roll of his dark eyes. His towering figure cut a path through the crowded New York City pedestrians who watched him with unabashed curiosity and trepidation as he passed. You were afforded mostly confusion as you inelegantly followed in his footsteps.

Until your foot slipped on a hidden patch of ice beneath the slurry, and a squeak of shock came from your throat as your hands flailed out wildly for something to grab onto. Concern rushed through you, strong and overwhelming, as Loki’s hands grasped yours to keep you from falling. When you looked up to him in grateful shock, and your eyes locked, tendrils of desire snaked out from his heart to wrap around yours and squeeze with the barest of heat. There wasn’t any mistaking the feelings he had at that moment, no matter how fleeting, and you both knew it.

“Thanks,” you murmured, awestruck in the face of such intense emotions that Loki worked to keep hidden.

He jerked back from you as if you had burned him, picking up the bags he had forgotten in his haste to help you. “Do not mention it. Come. I’m famished and you obviously are not suited for this weather.”

~

“Is this absolutely necessary?”

You looked up from where you kneaded the flour-covered dough against the countertop, jaw set in determination as you leaned into your work. “It tastes better when you make it from scratch. I figured someone with your impressive knife skills wouldn’t find it challenging to chop a bit of garlic and tomatoes for a simple pasta sauce. If I’m mistaken…”

Loki bristled, his eyes tightening as he made quick work of unbuttoning his sleeves before rolling them up the pale expanse of his arms. “I am quite capable of performing such a menial task.”

You dropped your gaze to the exposed skin, delighting silently in the flex of his forearms as he set to work doing as you had asked. It was quiet, calming, to work together in the kitchen. The rhythmic sound of his knife hitting the wooden cutting board timed with your rolling and kneading the pasta dough was almost musical, working with the pulse pounding in your ears at such a domestic scene to keep you very alert.

Not too alert, apparently, as when you began to cut the long floured noodles from your rolled sheet of dough, you managed to slice the pad of your index finger.

“Shit!” you cursed, dropping the knife and pulling the bleeding digit into your mouth. You quickly checked to make sure you hadn’t ruined the dough, eyes darting around the room for something to staunch the bleeding.

“Let me see,” Loki commanded quietly from behind you.

You turned to him to see his hands held out for yours, exasperation written into the firm set of his mouth. “You don’t have to touch me. It’s okay.”

“Let me see,” he repeated, gently encircling your wrist with his long, elegant fingers, pulling your finger from in between your lips.

There was that concern again, warm and soft as it wrapped around you like a blanket from where his hands deftly worked at cleaning and wrapping your hand in a band-aid. You weren’t used to people touching you, not of their own accord, not once they knew that you could feel their every emotion through the connection. It was an invasion of privacy, and more than that, it was opening them up to the possibility of you pushing certain feelings onto them - an aspect of your powers that you never used unless in dire situations on missions.

You would never do that to Loki, even with the desire that unfurled deep within your belly as you watched his calculated emerald eyes admire his handiwork. Anything that he felt, you wanted it to be authentic and coming only from him. Which was why the affection that teased just at the edges of your awareness made your breath catch in your throat, and your gaze drop to his lips as he wetted them with a flick of his tongue.

“Loki, I-”

“Perhaps I should finish the rest of the meal, so you do not risk ruining the pasta with your blood,” he commented dryly, leaving you empty as he released you from his hold.

You cradled your hand to your chest as if you could still feel the affection he had unwittingly shared on the stinging skin. “Of course. Just do what I was doing, without the stabbing part.”

~

You should’ve worn gloves for the party. Or perhaps a dress with sleeves.

The combination of so many bodies jostling around you, leaving you with just flashes of humor, lust, frustration, anger, sadness, and so many more emotions that you couldn’t name but could taste on your tongue, was too much. Tony had gone all out with the guest list for the New Year’s Eve party, and you felt positively ill at so many sensations washing over you in time with the pounding music and conflicting colognes and perfumes invading your nose.

The frigid wind on the balcony was a welcome breather, whipping around you and electrifying your senses to remove the lasting negative effects of the others from your person. Until you were just you again, as conflicted and frustrated as ever as you thought about Loki and Thor chatting amiably with amiably inside. The countdown was due to begin soon, and you didn’t want to see who the dark god paired off with to welcome in the new year with a kiss. That was one mental image you were perfectly content not to have engraved in your brain for the foreseeable future.

“The party not to your liking?”

Your chin lifted from where it had settled on your chest to watch the crowds below, all packed together and shouting their revelry into the abyss that climbed up the tower windows to reach your cold-reddened ears. “I didn’t realize it would be that crowded, and I’m not wearing sleeves.”

A coat, woolen and heavy and scented with cedarwood and spice settled over your shoulders to block the worst of the cutting wind. Your arms unraveled from around your waist to grip onto the lapels, holding Loki’s coat tighter to you. Loki stepped into your line of sight, regarding you with an unreadable expression as he leaned against the safety rail as if he wasn’t several hundred feet in the air. “That was poor planning on your part.”

“Yeah, but I look good in this dress,” you replied with a humorless laugh, swinging your hips back and forth as it to prove the point.

“You do,” was his warm reply, matching the slight upturn of the corner of his mouth as his eyes trailed down the length of your body slowly.

What you wouldn’t give to know the feelings behind that look, but you wouldn’t ever invade his privacy in that way. Not without permission. Thankfully, the cold air already turned the tip of your nose red and flushed your cheeks, otherwise the effect his searching gaze and thoughtful gesture would be much more clear. “Thanks for the coat. You always seem to be stepping up to help me, lately.”

“It’s my pleasure,” he replied in that crushed velvet voice that had just a hint of roughness to it as he took one step closer to you.

The crowd down below began counting down. You could barely hear the numbers over the roar of the wind in your ears and the pounding of your heart as Loki shielded your body from the cold with his own. His hands came up to settle over your upper arms, rubbing the soft satin lining of his coat into your skin.

And your eyes fluttered closed just before his lips brushed against yours at the last second. Love unlike anything you’d ever felt before matched the caress of his smooth lips over yours, catching in your heart and coaxing out a warm glow of happiness that you weren’t sure began or ended with the man cradling you in his arms. It was untainted by darkness, driven from the purest sense of adoration and affection that you had experienced from another soul.

His forehead rested against yours once he allowed you a moment to breathe, quite kind of him after having stolen the very breath from your lungs. Hope, sharp and bright, teased out from him and into you to make your fingers curl into his black suit jacket. “I am not one to easily speak my emotions freely with others. But you must know…”

You nudged your nose along his, your heart soaring at the physical contact and the shared joy that danced between you to the tune of your drumming heartbeats. “I do. You can’t exactly hide that from me.”

He gathered you into the warmth of his embrace, tucking your forehead beneath his chin with a relieved sigh. It was safety and contentment and promise and a love so new and bright that you hoped to never find its shadow. “No more hiding. Not in this new year.”

~~~

Little Bit o’ Loki taglist: @myownviperroom @grahoundart @darealbellabelleoftheball @boubouinscarlet @iamverity @rt8815 @lots-of-loki @otakumultimuseoc @ms-cellanies @rosierossette

Whole Shebang taglist: @yespolkadotkitty @nonsensicalobsessions @just-the-hiddles @vodka-and-some-sass @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @myoxisbroken @blah666 @brokenthelovely @myworddump @polireader @wiczer @littleredstarfish @the-broken-angel-13 @arch-venus25 @xxloki81xx @jessiejunebug @tinchentitri @sllooney @devilbat @vikkleinpaul @bouquet-o-undercaffeinated-roses @angelus80 @wolfsmom1 @kthemarsian @toozmanykids @claritastantrum @princerowanwhitethorngalathynius @sabine-leo @lovesmesomehiddles​ @peterman-spideyparker​ @wegingerangelica​ @bluefrenchfries604​ @catsladen @silverswordthekilljoy​

[kristoffsloveisntfragile]

The Christmas Spirit

Rating: T

Word Count: 7,107

Pairing: Kristoff/Anna

Summary: Modern AU; It’s Christmas time and Anna and Kristoff are finally having their first Christmas together, at the Bjorgman house. This is the first time Anna really has met the whole family, in one place. Anxiety and a feeling of overwhelmed come over her, but that doesn’t stop her heart from being in love with his family. And that surely doesn’t stop Kristoff from still being in love with Anna.

Notes: IS CHRISMAS YALL!!! Hope you all enjoy! I’ve actually been working on this for literally 6 ish months, and I feel like it’s pretty perfect for how long I’ve been working on it. Again, hope you enjoy, and a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to yall!

It was the holiday season and Anna and Kristoff had been dating for almost two and a half years now. Anna lived a state away from her family so this year she decided that she would do something independent for the holidays. Maybe a year away from her family wouldn’t be so bad? It didn’t hit her until later that she really had no other plans. She had the Christmas tree set up in her apartment, of course helped by Kristoff. They set it up and that night they put on a Christmas movie and decorated the tree. Their hands full of glitter and eyes burnt out from staring at the lights on the tree for too long. That was fun, but Anna didn’t formally invite anyone to hang out with her for Christmas day, so she assumed she would spend the day alone, maybe Kristoff or Elsa popping in to say hello and maybe give a gift, if they had bought one. Anna couldn’t tell if it was the maturity making her not want gifts this year, or the fact that she was spending it alone was. Either way, she didn’t really mind it, a peaceful Christmas this year is what she needs. At least she thinks.

“So what are you exactly doing for Christmas?” Kristoff asks after he washed down his bagel with his coffee. They get breakfast together at a local coffee shop at least 3-4 times a week before work.

This perked up Anna, usually as they wait for their food they catch each other up and when they finally sit down to eat they plow it down, not really any talk to be had, they just want to fill up their stomach to get through the day so they can hopefully see each other after work.

“Oh, nothing. I think this year I’ll have a peaceful Christmas day to myself. I mean, if you want to come by and stay for a while, I wouldn’t mind.” She sipped her coffee as she finished her statement.

Kristoff was confused as ever, “A...peaceful...Christmas...day? Where is Anna and what have you done with her?” This made Anna smile. Yeah, she knew it wasn’t like her, but it was like this fresh wave of maturity was washing over her. “I’ve never heard you put those kinds of words together. You’re really not going to do anything on Christmas?”

“Well, Christmas doesn’t have to be chaotic. It is named ‘the most peaceful time of year’ for a reason.”

“Well, you’ve never been with my family around Christmas. We like to go all out.” Kristoff leaned back in his chair. Then got that look on his face, Anna knew that look, he was getting an idea.

“Hey, why don’t you come over with me to my parents for Christmas!” Kristoff looked excited.

“Really? Won’t like, all of your family be there? I’ve never really seen all of your siblings in person. Of course, except Roxanne.” Anna said.

Roxanne was the third oldest, behind Kristoff by 8 years, a senior in high school, smart kid, does well in school, but liked to kind of do whatever she wanted. So when Anna would have the occasional dinner with Kristoff’s parents, she would see Roxanne come out of her room with her car keys and say to her family “See ya, I’ll be back at midnight.” And her family wouldn’t really bat an eye, Kristoff would just say the usual, “Don’t do anything I haven’t done!” and continue the dinner conversation.

“Well yeah, so this time you’ll finally get to meet all of them. And probably some of my grandparents too. You’ve made quite the impression to my family.” Kristoff raised an eyebrow.

“You’ve talked about me?” Anna asked.

“Are you kidding? Of course I have. They all love you out of the description I tell them.”

Anna, now curious, leaned forward and said, “What do you say?”

Kristoff leaned forward too and said, “Well, I describe you as the perfect woman in the world. With the most amazing color of hair, paired with the most indescribable color of eyes that just somehow match,” Kristoff had taken her hand, and Anna sighed, loving what she’s hearing. “I think they think you’re smaller than I described but I can’t tell.” She laughs. “And...there’s just so much about you that I’ve described to them. Like all the sweet things we do that make me love you even more...like that thing we tried last month.”

Anna swiped her hand away and swatted at his shoulder, “I’m kidding!” He remarked. “Most of them don’t understand...you know.” Anna knew he was kidding. But still.

They ate most of the rest of their food, and Kristoff looked up and said, “Sooo.. was that a yes?”

“Hm?” Anna hummed with a mouth full of food.

“You know, my offer? You just kind of let the conversation drop after I said that my family loves you. So?” Kristoff crumpled up his bagel wrapper.

Anna had been thinking about it since the moment the words left his mouth. Her mind was already set on staying home and drinking all the hot chocolate she could and watching all the Christmas movies she had. But, it couldn’t hurt to change her plans, especially if it was for her boyfriend.

“You know what? Sure, I’d love to. Nothing I would rather do.” Anna said and wrapped up her garbage as well. They got up and threw their stuff away, stepped outside the coffee shop, pecked each other on the lips and went their separate ways to their work for the day.

~~~

A week later, it was Christmas. Dinner at the Bjorgman family was happening around 7, but since the family liked to spend time together, especially around the holidays, the “party” was happening all day. Kristoff was picking up Anna around 5 though. Anna was getting ready, not too dressy, but not too looking like she didn’t want to be there. A classic casual blouse, leather jacket, jeans, and knee high boots. She looked in the mirror and decided she needed some jewelry. Dainty bracelets and necklaces worked. She then saw her pajamas that were strone across her bed. Part of her wished she could change back into them and just curl up on the couch. But the fact that she was spending Christmas day with her boyfriend, who she loved very much, and is now meeting the rest of his family, she couldn’t be happier.

She waited in her living room for a text or call from Kristoff, and was watching ‘The Santa Clause 2’ with Tim Allen and Elizabeth Mitchell. It was nearing the end of the movie, it was her favorite part. When Santa, or Scott Calvin as his real name, finally gets back to the North Pole but before he makes his round to drop off gifts to every child in the world, he has to marry the one he loves. Although rushed, Anna loves how sincere they still were in their vows, and they weren’t just marrying each other because he needed to be Santa Claus. They had a real deep connection.

Her phone chimed and it got her out of her trance. The text read, “Outside babe.” She turned off her TV, and made sure everything was off and locked and met him outside in his car.

She hopped in the car with a big smile on her face, with a quick ‘hey’ and put her seatbelt on.

“My, my. Aren’t you a giddy one?” Kristoff remarked.

“What? I’m not allowed to be happy to be meeting the rest of my boyfriend’s family?” She leaned towards his face, expecting a kiss anytime soon.

“No, it’s just...I’m happy you’re happy.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. And then they drove off to the Bjorgman household.

~~~

They pulled up to the household and Anna saw all of the cars that filled up the driveway and even spilling out to the sidewalk.

‘Lot of people then..’ Anna thought, and bit her lip. She got out of the car and Kristoff was getting a couple things from the back, Anna went around to see if he needed help.

“I think I’m good…” Kristoff said with his hands full of presents. “Oh, wait, can you grab those little boxes? On the floor?” Anna did as she was asked, and then shut the car door. 

“So like, are all of these for the kids?” Anna asked as they were walking towards the house.

“Yep, just a little warning, I think there are more kids than you’ve imagined. Yes I have my younger siblings, but my aunts and uncles also have kids and they’re here too.”

“Wow...seems like the Bjorgman’s are...busy.”

“Ohhhh, yeah” Kristoff stretched out, laughing at the end of it, so did Anna. “Oh, since this was kind of last minute, I did put your name on the “From:” part of the tag on the presents, so people would think that you were, you know, nice enough to think of the kids.”

“Hey, I would’ve gotten stuff if you had said something. It completely slipped my mind to get stuff for them...but thank you for doing that anyway.” Anna giggled.

As they approached the door, Kristoff warned Anna about the second step, as it always seems to get slippery every year. Anna then rang the doorbell, but not long after someone was at the door. Bulda, with a very big smile and 3 kids attached to her.

“Anna! Oh my dear it’s so good to see you!! I’m so glad you came!” She gave Anna a very big and tight hug. Then went to Kristoff and took the huge amount of presents out of his hands and went into the other room. It wasn’t long before his hands were full again with the kids that tagged along with Bulda.

“Hey guys, hey look, look. There’s someone I want you to meet. This is Anna.” He was crouched down to their level, but looking up at Anna. Anna then crouched down too.

“Nice to meet you guys. What’s all your names?” Anna asked.

“I’m Maxine.” Maxine said proudly.

“I’m Jake.” Jake said.

“I-I’m D-D-Daisy-y.” Daisy, the youngest, managed to get out.

“She’s just learning how to talk. But I’m so proud you know how to say your own name!” Kristoff looked at Daisy and hugged her as she giggled.

“You’re really pretty Anna.” Jake said.

“Oh! Why thank you.” Anna was flattered, since she knew that kids told the truth most of the time.

“Okay kids, go play, I think Uncle Mike has a game of musical chairs going for the younglings.” Bulda peaked their interest, and they all ran off towards a different part of the house. Anna and Kristoff got up to see Bulda again, and she was already going in for a hug with her son. “Hello dear so good to see you. Was the drive okay?”

“Ah, it was okay. As long as I had my girl along my side, it was never boring.” Kristoff remarked.

“Yes, while it was a good drive, it did seem long and I drank a whole bottle of water, so if you don’t mind I’m just gonna use the bathroom.” Anna excused herself.

“Oh by all means!” Bulda said as she took off.

Kristoff started walking towards all the people before he was pulled by the sleeve by his mother. 

“Well, is tonight the night?” She asked.

“Look, ma, I don’t know honestly. Yes, I very much want to do it, but I think she’s a little overwhelmed by all the people. We are a big family. If I’m going to do it tonight, I don’t think it’s going to be here.” Kristoff said, in a hushed tone.

“Okay, okay. I’m just so excited!” Bulda started to get worked up.

“Ok, shh, ma, you’re starting to jump, think about your ankle.” Bulda looked at it and brushed it off, and then Kristoff went back to what he was going to do, see the rest of his family.

~~~

A little time has passed, Anna met all the kids (she thinks- there’s just so many of them) and met and talked to a majority of the adults, with the same story of where she works and ‘why the hell do you like this troublemaker of a kid?’-Kristoff. 

She found herself with a small glass of champagne and was standing by the sink talking to Roxanne. She found a little comfort in talking to her. She wasn’t completely new to Anna, but there was still a lot they didn’t know about each other.

“So, anything new at school happening?” Anna asked

“Wow, what a new question everyone hasn’t asked me yet.” Roxanne joked, but there was a hint of truth behind it.

“Oh sorry, I mean no offense but what else is there to ask an 18 year old. It’s your senior year, you should be having fun, making memories. We all wanna hear about your experience, and be there for you during the big moments.”

“Yeah, well nothing is really happening, not until the new year hits anyways, all the interesting sports start in the spring, the musicals, testing, dances, etc.” 

“Yeah, I hear you. So there’s really nothing else going on for you?” 

Roxanne shook her head, “No, nothing much.” But she looked at her feet. Anna knew exactly what that meant, she even does it herself. She was hiding something.

“So there is something new.”

Looking up, Roxanne was kinda shocked, “How did you know?”

“I’m a girl just like you, the subtle hints you just gave, I’ve done them before. What’s up, you can trust me you know.”

Roxanne breathed in, and turned to really face Anna. “Well, it is my senior year, and..I’ve never really had a relationship.”

Anna knew exactly what she was getting into with this conversation. “Oh I see, and, is there someone you’re interested in?”

“Well, the thing is, I’m bi, so I’ve had crushes come and go. I’ll see someone who is interesting or cute, but I’ll get scared because, well if it’s a girl, what if they don’t have the same interests as me, and if it’s a guy, well...you know.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a whole ordeal. The only thing I can say, in your situation, it seems best for you to make a friend first, and then see if they would like to take things further. You shouldn’t have to feel like you’re rushed to find someone. When you know, you know.” Her gaze wandered over to Kristoff who wasn’t far from them.

“Is that how you felt with my brother?” Roxanne smiled.

“Oh yeah. I mean, before we started dating, you heard tale of me right?” Roxanne nodded. “So yeah, we met, became friends, and from there we found something. And look at us now.” Anna smiled. 

Roxanne looked down, still having a smile on her face. “Yeah, you guys do have something special. I feel like you’re the hot topic tonight to be honest.”

“Really? Me?” Anna asked.

“Oh yeah, are you kidding? Kristoff doesn’t stop talking about you when he’s over, the only time that does come to a halt is when you are over too for a dinner or something. But since everyone is here, I don’t know, I feel like you’re just an easy topic for Kristoff and the family to talk about.” Roxanne explained.

Kristoff came over and cut between them, as they were still at the sink. He rinsed a glass he had and set it in the sink, and while he was, he said, “Hey, my two favorite girls.” He stepped back and instinctively put his arm around Anna. “What are y’all talking about?”

“Oh nothing, just, girl stuff.” Anna said, looking up at him with admiration.

“Yep, so no boy can hear it.” Roxanne teased. 

“Ah, I see. Well, no matter, how are you enjoying the night?” Kristoff asked, but mostly to Anna.

“I’m doing fine, your family is really friendly, it’s nice knowing that I don’t have to put up a fake persona for them.” Anna said.

“Of course, our family loves people for who they are. Unless they’re clearly a douche.” He chuckled.

“Well, there is one person who puts on a “fake persona” once a year for the-” Roxanne started to say.

“Shhhhhhh” Kristoff cut her off.

“What? What are you talking about?” Anna was confused and curious.

“It’s nothing.”

“But you’ll find out later.” Roxanne whispered to Anna, all giddy.

Anna was still confused, but she trusted Roxanne’s word that she’ll find out later.

“We should head into the living room soon, the Yankee Swap will start soon and with how many people are here, there won’t be many seats that are on cushion.”

“Good call.” Roxanne said and started heading towards the living room. Anna and Kristoff soon  followed.

A few minutes later, Kristoff’s mom turned down the Christmas music, and got everyone into the room, she got the room to quiet down.

“Okay everyone time to start the swap! Now, I asked everyone to put all of the gifts in the other room, so Derek can you go get them?” Derek nodded and got up to go to the other room.

“Actually before we start I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” Kristoff said and got up.

“Okay, just so you know you might get a bad number for the picking!” Bulda joked.

Shortly after, Derek came back with a big bag full of the swap gifts. He started to take them out of the bag when Bulda started to explain what the rules were.

“So, the rules are simple. We are going to pick a number out of this hat,” She grabs a hat full of numbers. “And just go in order. You can pick any gift, and once you get it you open it. And if you’re in the later numbers and you pick a gift but you want something someone has who went before you, you have to battle them! That’s my twist to the game, to battle them, you must play a quick game of charades!!!” Everyone was either a little more intrigued, or groaned how boring they thought that game was.

“To actually win, if the person you want to battle doesn’t get your word or phrase or whatever it is, you can get their gift. But if the person gets the word right, they don’t give up the gift. Everyone got it?” Bulda finishes.

As she finishes, Derek is finishing up with placing the gifts near the tree. 

“Hmm, Derek are you sure that’s all the gifts?” Bulda puts on a voice. And loud enough for the next three rooms to hear.

“What do you mean? There’s more???” Jake asked with a lot of enthusiasm in his voice.

“Oh yes, I know there is. I wonder where they all went though…”

Just as Bulda says that, Anna hears Roxanne snicker. She’s again confused, but just then, she sees a big red blur come through the threshold. A big resounding “Ho Ho Ho!” followed. Anna knew immediately it was Kristoff, she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her boyfriend with a fat suit and probably a 3x large red, furry jacket. She started laughing with Roxanne, and most of the adults who also knew it was Kristoff. The kids on the other hand, lost their minds. As for them, Santa was in the house, the night before Christmas.

So many, “OH MY GOD IT’S SANTA!” and, “I CAN’T BELIEVE MY EYES” and just screaming for joy in general.

“Hello kids, yes it’s me Santa, I wanted to come by before I start my rounds and give you the first presents before any other kid in the world gets theirs.”

“Wow thanks Santa!” One of the kids said. 

Anna couldn’t help but laugh, as she had never heard the voice that Kristoff was putting on. But she held it in as best as she could, so she wouldn’t ruin it for the kids.

“Don’t worry, if you come back every year, you’ll be able to suppress the laugh. But it will still be hilarious, but you’ll be able to put on a fake ‘oh my God, wow’ smile.” Roxanne leaned over to Anna and whispered. 

“How long has he been doing this?” Anna asked.

“Since, he was like 16. He grew drastically like when he was 13 or 14. By 16 he was like 3 inches shorter than he is now. So he could pass for it. Our dad used to do this, but both he and Kristoff knew that at one point he was gonna have to stop at one point, so he took over. He loves doing it though.” Roxanne explained.

“Wow. He never said anything about it. And we know almost everything about each other.” Anna remarked.

“Maybe he wanted to surprise you.” Roxanne said.

They went back to watching Kristoff play Santa to his younger brothers and sisters, and some of his nieces and nephews. He really did look like he was enjoying it, bringing joy to them seemed to instantly put a smile on his face, and his soul. Anna loved seeing him so happy that he was making his family happy. 

“So here’s all the presents for you kids-” ‘Santa’ started to say,

“But, we’ll all have to wait for the Yankee Swap to be over, then you can open them. But for now, Santa has to go, say goodbye kids.” Bulda says.

All of the kids yelled “Goodbyee!!” and as Kristoff was kneeling to pull the gifts out of the bag he brought in, some kids ran over to hug him before he left.

“Okay children, I’ve really got to get back to the sleigh and start delivering the rest of the presents. Merry Christmas to all!”

“AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!” All of the kids screamed back. 

Anna thought to herself, besides Kristoff dressing up as Santa, that was also a tradition they had. She saw as he left, and all the kids were still buzzing about it.

“Okay, okay kids settle, if you wanna open your presents you gotta play this game first.” They all quieted down, but still a little joy left in their eyes.

As Bulda was going around the room letting people pick their numbers, Kristoff came back, and immediately the kids said “Kristoff you missed it! Santa was just here! Look at how many presents he gave us!”

“My Kristoff, you were in the bathroom for a long time that you missed Santa!” Bulda exaggerated. 

“Oh well, maybe next year I’ll catch him.” Kristoff said as he was heading back to his seat next to Anna.

“And who knows, maybe he’ll bring a certain Mrs-”

“Shhh.” Kristoff hissed at his mom. Bulda returned to passing out numbers. Kristoff had looked back to see if Anna had caught that, but he doesn’t think she did, because Anna couldn’t stop smiling at Kristoff, and he raised a brow and asked, “What?”

“Oh nothing, it was just really special seeing Santa here tonight.” Anna said through a smile.

“What are you talking about?” Kristoff smiled, playing along with the joke.

Anna laughed, “Nothing.” Neither one of them really knew what the context of that conversation was, but they were just both so happy with the buzz that they felt between them and the buzz that was in the room. Anna knew right then and there that she didn’t regret coming to the party tonight. Kristoff quickly kissed her cheek and returned to the game that was starting.

~~~

The game and the present opening seemed to happen so fast that it was all blurry to Anna. In a good way though, there was so much laughter from the charade portions, and all the jokes, and the kids, and the fact that she couldn’t get the image of ‘Santa Kris’ out of her head. They could all tell that the party was coming to an end. All the kids were asking where the desserts were, so they were occupied eating those, the adults were getting their kids presents or their own gifts they got, all packed up and ready to go to the car, and all the food was being portioned to be taken home, since there was way too much to keep at Buldas house. 

Anna was nursing another glass of champagne and talking to some of Kristoff’s relatives when Kristoff came over and, again, instinctively wrapped his arm around her.

“You ready to go babe?” 

“Aweeee, do we have to? It feels like we just got here 10 minutes ago!” Anna whined, but deep inside of her she wanted to go home and snuggle up next to Kristoff while watching more Christmas movies.

“Ah, we don’t wanna burden my mom by staying here.” Kristoff glanced over at his mom who was finishing up with giving some food to Kristoff’s cousin as they were leaving. His mom must’ve caught the end of that because she looked over and came over.

“Oh, are you guys leaving soon? I can pack up some stuff for ya if you want!” Bulda said.

“Thanks, but we won’t need a lot like your packing with everyone else-”

“Maybe just the desserts and some of the pasta would be good for us to take.” Anna finished Kristoff’s sentence, then laughed.

“Honestly, if you took as many desserts as you wanted there would still be enough for everyone else to take some home. I may have made a little too much for today.” Bulda exclaimed.

“No, no don’t worry, we’re more than happy to take those desserts off of your hands!” Anna laughed again, intending some kind of joke, but in actuality, she was eyeing the cheesecake she’s already had two big slices of.

“Oh then by all means, I’ll pack some stuff up for you.” Bulda turned around and went to work.

“You know I was trying to get her to not pack as much food for us to take home. She’s a busy woman enough as it is.” Kristoff said to Anna in a hushed voice.

“Well, it’s not like she’s complaining, I mean sure it is busy work, but it’s Christmas, is it really hard work if you enjoy it?” Anna questioned back. Kristoff gave her a look of defeat, but still worry behind his eyes. Anna knew what to do.

“I’ll go help her then, some one-on-one wouldn’t hurt our relationship right?” Anna handed her champagne to him and walked towards Bulda.

“Hey there, do you want some help packing up the food and stuff?” Anna asked.

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t wanna burden you by helping me.” Bulda brushed away Anna, but she wouldn’t back down.

“Oh come on, I insist. Plus, didn’t I hear something about your ankle? You could use a break, or at least some help.”

Bulda gave in, almost like she even forgot about her ankle hurting. “Oh sure, what’s the harm of you helping, right?” She laughed, “Just take some of these buckets, and follow me.” Anna did as she was told.

Anna followed her to the dining room where some of the food was kept, but mostly the desserts. 

“Wow, I honestly forgot how many there were.” Anna remarked.

“Yeah, like I said, I may have made too much. But I guess I say that every year, and everyone goes home happy. That’s what really matters to me.” Bulda said with a smile.

“That’s really sweet.” Anna said, her heart melting a bit at what Bulda just said.

They packed up some sweets while chit-chatting a bit, they eventually got the topic of Kristoff.

“Oh I couldn’t stop laughing when he came out.” Anna said.

“Oh, imagine me, the first time he did it after Pabbie stopped, I couldn’t stop laughing. It was just so funny seeing a 16 year-old do that.”

“Wow, he must’ve been really tall to pull that off.”

“Oh yeah, the summer before 9th grade, poof, grew a foot and became 6 ft. No idea what happened to this day. But it added to his character.”

“Oh yeah it did.” Anna laughed. “Probably one of the first thoughts that came across my mind when I first even glanced at him was ‘Wow look how tall he is.’ Of course, that’s coming from me, 5’2” here.” Anna laughed some more.

“Awe, well you two fit perfectly together. The height difference just makes it look even cuter.”

“Yeah..” Anna got lost in her thoughts for a second. 

“You two are really happy together.” Bulda admired Anna’s look of loss in thought.

“Oh yeah.” Anna blushed a little. After all she was still talking to Kristoff’s mother.

“You know, Kristoff told me…..Oh no, I shouldn’t tell you.” Bulda waved her hand and went back to finishing up all the packed up desserts.

“Oh well you gotta tell me now!” Anna laughed.

“No, no, I’m sure it’s gonna happen...soon?”

“What do you mean?” Anna asked, confused as ever.

Just then Kristoff poked his head in the dining room to say, “Hey, I just went to warm up the car, so whenever you’re ready.” He smiled.

“Oh we just finished dear, just a little catching up.” Bulda said. It wasn’t a lie, but Anna still felt there was something unsaid.

Bulda turned back to Anna and said, “Just, remember how happy you are with Kristoff.”

“Of course I won’t. I never will. But what did you mean-”

“I’ve said too much, if I say anymore Kristoff will kill me. Just, enjoy the rest of your night dear.” Bulda said, putting a hand on Anna’s arm.

Anna and Kristoff took all of the food that she really wanted, Kristoff and Anna said their goodbyes and gave their hugs to everyone who was left. They made it through the dropping temperatures outside into the warmed up car, and started their drive home.

But Anna couldn’t help but question what Bulda meant by “It’s gonna happen soon”. Anna couldn’t think of anything important coming up. With Christmas tomorrow, and New Years in about a week, there was nothing else of importance going on. She looked over to Kristoff and tried to think if there was anything coming up for him. She couldn’t.

Kristoff noticed she was staring. “What’s up babe?” His eyes went back to the road.

“Nothing, nothing, just….is there anything important coming up?”

“...You mean something other than Christmas?” He laughs at his own little joke. “No, why?”

Anna wanted to say because Bulda had said something was gonna happen, but then remembered her saying “If Kristoff found out he would kill me”. Is it something Anna is supposed to know, and he isn’t? Or the other way around?

“Oh, I don’t know, it just seems like there’s something I’m supposed to do. Maybe it’s something for work.” Anna said.

“Well, you got a whole week off, it can’t be that important.” Kristoff reached for Anna’s hand and stroked the back of her hand with his thumb mindlessly.

Anna smiled. Of course she lied about the thing being for work, but she decided maybe it was good to forget about it. Whatever the thing is Bulda talked about, it will happen when it happens.

~~~

After the long drive, they head to Anna’s place, they both take off their boots and sweaters, Anna takes off all the jewelry on her body, and heads to her room to put it all away, Kristoff not far behind her. 

Anna was standing in front of her vanity, sorting everything away when Kristoff slithers his arms around Anna and just hugs her. “Finally, no relatives or younger siblings to interrupt our alone time.”

Anna huffed and smiled. “Hmmm, I’ve been thinking about just coming back here and relaxing all night. Well, maybe not the whole night,” Anna turned around while still in his arms, “Tonight was pretty fun with your family.”

“I get it. Being there is fun, but sitting on the couch watching movies and drinking hot chocolate in the dark. Sounds exhilarating.” Kristoff smiled, then leaned in for a kiss.

Anna liked the idea of that, but she wanted to be comfortable. When they parted, she said “I like that, let me just go wash everything off.” She got out of his arms and headed to the bathroom.

She washed her makeup off, cleansed her face, brushed her teeth, and went back to her bedroom- which she had then found that Kristoff had changed out of his day clothes (she had some clothes that were Kristoff’s left behind here for nights like this), She switched to her pjs and found that Kristoff had everything set up for Anna to just snuggle in with Kristoff. The movie, the drinks, the blankets, the apartment just being lit by the very dim hallway light.

“Wow, how long was I in the bathroom?” Anna asked jokingly.

“You weren’t gone long, I just work very fast.” Kristoff said, inviting Anna onto the couch with his eyes, which she gladly accepted. Kristoff went ahead and put on The Santa Clause 2, the movie Anna was watching before she left. She didn’t say that out loud, she didn’t mind that she was watching this movie again. She was just happy Kristoff was around this time. 

~Near the end of the movie~

Anna’s body was practically glued against Kristoff’s, her ear hearing his heartbeat, and her upper body moving along with his breaths.

They got to the part that Anna was watching before Kristoff picked her up to go to the party. When Santa needs to marry Carol before taking off for the night. She just loved the scene. 

“You know before you came to pick me up I was watching this movie, really just having it in the background, and this is the scene that I saw right before you arrived.” Anna said. They always just said what was on their minds a lot of the time. 

“Hmm.” Kristoff hummed. Anna just thought that he was starting to fade because of the warm drinks, the dim lights. But really, Anna had no idea that he was just choked up on what he wanted to do next.

It was the scene where Mother Nature had pronounced them ‘Man and Wife’, they kissed, and Scott Calvin once again became the one and only Santa Claus.

Anna hummed against Kristoff’s chest, “Man I just love this movie.” Anna tried to snuggle deeper into Kristoff more. 

He laughed, “Yep. I would’ve enjoyed it a little more if I didn’t have to fricken pee in the second half,” Kristoff started to laugh, and Anna joined, but mostly started to get up so he could move. “But it was just too comfortable and relaxing that I could wait. But I’ll be back and we’ll put on the next one.” Kristoff pecked Anna on the lips and went to the bathroom. 

Anna was smiling. She just loved the nights like this. It doesn’t even have to be Christmas for them to have a night where they just watch movies and drink hot chocolate. It was just more special tonight because it was Christmas, and they were spending it together. 

Anna decided to just get the next movie going so that they can start when Kristoff comes back. She went to put their mugs in the kitchen, she didn’t think they were gonna have any more, so she just grabbed some water instead for both of them to have. By the time she gets back into the living room, Kristoff is coming out of the bathroom. 

Anna looks up and sees that he looks a little zoned out. Confused, she asks, “Everything okay? You seem a little...unfocused.”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, I was just thinking about somethings.” He said and sat down on the couch, not laying where he was before.

“What kinds of things?” Anna trying to lighten the mood, (she thinks that is what needed to be done) she leans closer to Kristoff, putting her hand near his chest.

“It’s just-- nah it’s stupid, forget about it.” Kristoff tries to laugh it off, but Anna won’t let go.

“Well obviously it’s something. C’mon, you can tell me anything.” Anna pleaded in her own cute way.

Kristoff was hesitant, looking back and forth between Anna and his hands. He took a deep breath as he was about to reveal what felt like a lot to him.

“Look, Anna, you know I love you, so very much,” Anna started to get nervous. Why would he be saying that now? “And, I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been thinking about the future.” Oh thank God.

“Really?” Anna couldn’t contain her grin. Just hearing the word “future” come out of his mouth, made her giddy. The fact that when he says it and she’s there with him in his mind's eye, made her happy.

“Yeah, but, lately, I just feel as though...I’m not...not good enough.” He struggled to get through the sentence, because while he did think it, it was hard to admit it out loud.

Anna was taken back from this. Her mind instantly flashed to all the times when Kristoff took care of Anna when she was sick, when she was having an anxiety attack, or when she even needed a hug or a kiss. And then she thought about all the times she saw him take care of her sister, Elsa. Sure, they weren’t super close, but if Elsa needed something and Kristoff could do it, he did it. Her mind flashed to all the memories of when Kristoff was there for his family, heck, some moments from the party flashed across her eyes. Anna was very confused and honestly a little hurt from thinking that Kristoff wasn’t good enough.

“What...the hell are you talking about?” Some seriousness in her voice, but she couldn’t help but have a bit of a smirk at the edge of her lip.

“Huh?” Kristoff was now confused.

“You think you’re not good enough? First of all, very vague, you’re good at your job, you’re good at being a boyfriend, you’re good at being a son, a brother, a cousin, hell even a damn human being. You are a good one- no! You’re a great human being Kristoff.” Anna was talking like a motivational speaker, and Kristoff couldn’t help but smile, from mostly being told that he was a great person. I mean, how would you react?

“Kristoff, I don’t know what thing you have going inside your head to make you think that you’re not good enough. Tonight alone showed how much you’re an amazing human being. If anyone ever tells you otherwise, point them in my direction….and I will gladly punch them in the face.” Kristoff officially laughed at that part.

“Well, okay, I don’t think we need to go that far-”

“No I’m serious!” Anna said, still with a smile on her face. “I will do it if anyone says that to you ever.”

Kristoff looked deep into her eyes. He could tell that she meant it. And forever will. “That’s so good to know.” Kristoff still had a look of nervousness. But he pushed it away with a smile, and lunged toward Anna for a kiss. She gladly accepted it.

She was about to fully be on top of Kristoff (to enjoy the moment even more), but Kristoff started to move away. Anna broke the kiss as she could start to tell what he was moving away.

“Wh-what are you….” Anna was confused as to where he was going, until she saw he wasn’t going far. He was on one knee, and slowly but surely pulled a ring from his pocket. “Woah, woah-” Anna suddenly lost her voice. She didn’t have the words.

“Anna, it’s so glad to hear you say that all about ‘how great a human being’ I am. But honestly, I’m the one who’s with an extraordinary human being.” Anna started to tear up. “I love you with all I am,” He opened up the box, “Will you marry me?”

Anna barely let a breath in between before she jumped onto him screaming, “YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes!” She felt him catch her as she was basically on the floor with him too. “Oh my gosh!” She pulled back, looked at him and couldn’t contain her excitement as she went to kiss him all over his face.

Kristoff couldn’t stop laughing out of happiness, and just let her excitement run wild. When she pulled back once again, he finally got a chance to get her left hand, and slip the ring on it.

“Oh my gosh, Kristoff it’s beautiful!” She said while admiring it. “This must’ve been a lot, how long have you been wanting to do this?” She asked.

“Well, the idea has been poking around for about a year and a couple months,” Anna breathed out a laugh. “But I didn’t officially buy the ring until like a month and a half ago.”

Then she put the pieces together. If he’s been wanting to do this for well over a year, he must’ve been telling his family he’s been wanting to. 

So that’s why earlier Bulda said ‘If I say anymore Kristoff will kill me’ Anna thought.

“...Did you tell your family about that? Because now that I think about it they’ve been dropping hints all night.”

“To be fair they’ve been dropping hints the whole time. Tonight was probably more than ever because I had said something about wanting to do it tonight, maybe even tomorrow.”

“Well, I’m very glad you did it tonight.” Anna wrapped her arms around Kristoff’s neck and went in for a long and heartwarming kiss. Anna felt his hands come up around her waist.

At one point they got back up on the couch, but it was all in the blur of kisses, hugs and snuggles. Putting on the next movie, that they barely paid attention to, tangled in each other's arms.

“Hey, when you said you were thinking about the future,” Anna heard Kristoff hum, “Were you...I don’t know...thinking about another family….one that….we can start?” Anna tried her best to turn her head to see Kristoff’s reaction.

His eyes were wide, but she could see that there was a hint of promise. “Hmmmm…..maybe we’ll talk about that in the New Year.” Kristoff smiled, but the thought definitely didn’t leave his mind for a while.

[ohnoyoonoh]

PREVIEW of PHILIA & EROS

author -; @ohnoyoonoh​

genre. au -; highschool au, based on/inspired by the movie. the half of it. coming of age.

pairing -; lee jeno x oc, huang renjun x oc, jeno x oc x renjun, renjun x jeno (ish)

synopsis -; a story of where someone asks a writer to write them a love letter for the girl they like except the writer likes this girl, too. it's an adventure of lessons in friendship and first love with renjun, jeno, and hwayoung in the town of dalgleish, oregon.

author’s note -; sneak peek into my upcoming story with jeno and renjun. i was actually very passionate in this story. this is the first story in a while that will be tagged with networks, yayyy lol lmk if you wanna be part of the taglist

warnings -; love triangle, strong language, minor bullying, whole story includes touches on sexuality, touches on sex but not committed, underage drinking and drug use, mention of minor character death (renjun’s mom), kissing, long ass story lemme tell you that

word count -; (preview) 4.8k and it’s only the beginning

Love. Love certainly comes in different forms. According to C.S. Lewis, there are four types that people focus on: Storge, Philia, Eros, and Agape. Omitting agape as many do not believe in the Christian faith, the other three simply play a role in everyone’s upbringing whether they notice the existence of these loves in their life or not. Following the words of Lewis, we would be obliged to love every single day without a choice whether it’s to us or seeing it with others. We see love wherever we go. But in this society, do we really know what love is? Love is not as straightforward as we thought it would be unlike adding and subtracting in math. Love is strange but whatever the perspective by the person, it could also be the most beautiful thing in the world.

And that is not how you write a world-class essay to make you pass an honors class.

Huang Renjun began to press the backspace of the conclusion to the last essay he needed to write for the English class. It wasn’t his essay that he was writing but one that was in his queue of his homework services. The list was stacked with requests of the take on C.S. Lewis’s Four Loves for Mrs. Lee’s Junior English Honors class, but the teacher could care less that the students cheated in the class in the peewee town of Dalgleish in the state of Oregon.

Dalgleish didn’t have much except for the Pretty Douglas Fir trees decorated around the boundaries of the town. It was fitting as the Dalgleish basically meant green field. There weren’t many open fields but looking at the town from above, the amount of trees make it look like a green space. That was one of the things that Renjun enjoyed seeing, the nature that the town offered. It was calming, least to say. Losing himself into the natura was a good getaway from the extensive labor he needed to do to support him and his family. His family consisted of his father and younger sister, Mei. His mother passed away due to breast cancer when Renjun was thirteen and Mei was ten.

That was the reason why he started his business of the homework services, but it also extended into adding more part time jobs to continue a decent salary for a high school student. His father never asked him to do any of these jobs because he never wanted to overwork Rejnun and his sister during high school. He wanted to make sure that they could focus primarily on their school work and occasional side jobs to include in their résumés and transcripts. Though due to the passing of his wife, he wasn’t able to commit to his computer science career and waived off the successful path to enter a minimum wage job.

Renjun understood the reason for his father’s lack of working, which is why he stepped up a little more than a teenager should carry on their shoulders. He loved his family too much to not do so. Which is why, he was checking off the list of names on his queue for the homework that needed to be handed that day.

Zhong Chenle

Eleanor Lee

Amie Quill

Wong Yukhei

Eugene Mills and the list going on.

He calculated the amount that was due and the total, making sure that no one paid him less. He didn’t mind if someone paid more, as it would be beneficial to any extra expenses that needed to be paid off. “$20 per essay, mm.. $200. That should be enough to cover the water bill and the groceries.”

Mei nodded, writing the total on the sticky notes that littered all over the mirrored wall. The wall full of sticky notes for the week logging any needed tasks to be finished. Wherever there weren’t any sticky notes were old pictures of the family and memories in their upbringing or new polaroid pictures of Renjun and Mei. It was a nice reminder of the moments that were captured in the midst of the hard every days.

“Hey, uh, Renjun, I was wondering if I could go to homecoming?” Mei questioned, breaking the silence as Renjun revised the to-do lists while editing his own essay. He forgot to do so since the amount of requests to do their homework was unbelievable. The only downside of the homework service was that everyone requests last minute. “Renjun.”

“Sorry, I forgot to do my homework,” he snapped his head up, letting his sister know that she had his undivided attention. Mostly. “Uh, what did you ask?”

“I was just asking if I could go to homecoming, I’ll even work extra hours to pay for my dress. I’ll even pick up some of the homework in your requests,” Mei pleaded, not verbally but through her eyes. Renjun stared at her, wondering if she was serious. It wasn’t uncommon for freshmen to attend high school events, especially someone like his sister. Mei was and still is the type of person to enjoy the events that school offers. It was the perfect opportunity to spend time with her friends and escape the hours of working. That was what Renjun recalled during their late night talks as they pleated the dumplings for their lunches for the rest of the week.

“Renjun, stop spacing out,” Mei shook his shoulder, seeing if it would wake him up out of his trance.

“Uh, yeah yeah. You can help me with some of the homework and take over my shift for the next two days at the library, is that okay?” Renjun offered. He knew he would have felt bad if he said no. Knowing his sister, she would either give up on working and not get a new dress, or give up working and not going to homecoming all together.

Mei agreed, nodding her head profusely and quickly embracing her brother. Renjun stood there, reluctantly wrapping his arms around her. Mei rarely showed affection to him which is why he seemed so surprised at the actions. Nonetheless, he appreciated the love. God. Love. Love. Love. His essay. His eyes widened, releasing from the grasp of his sister, “Crap, I need to finish the last paragraph of my essay.”

The sound of the alarm ringing through the kitchen, notifying the Huang siblings that it was time for them to head to school. Renjun groaned, wanting to bang his head against the wall. He shoved the folder with the homeworks that he finished inside of his backpack while tossing Mei her lunch. He grabbed the pen that hung off of the wall, checking off the sticky note that was made a week before to remind him of the work to do. Renjun rechecked everything once more to be certain that he hadn’t skipped over anything. Assuring himself that he didn’t miss anything, he grabbed the keys of his dad’s car and made his way out the door. Before exiting the house, his dad seemed to be missing from his usual spot on the couch but knew he was home due to his shoes still at the door.

“Mei, is dad still home?” Renjun questioned as he sat on the floor to put his shoes on. Mei turned around to face her brother and nodded, “He’s taking a shower and already made his food.”

Renjun nodded, slinging his backpack over his shoulders to adjust the straps as he wore it, “Are you ready to go?”

“I’ve been ready, I don’t know about you,” Mei sarcastically retorted. Renjun scoffed, standing up and opening the door to allow his sister to go out first. As they walked outside to get to the car, Renjun playfully kicked her leg causing her to quickly turn around to punch him. He quickly ran to the car to escape her wrath.

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Don’t forget your shift at the library,” the male informed his sister as they both entered the school. Mei groaned but nodded, saying goodbye to her brother as she parted ways to join her friends. Now, Renjun was stuck to being a high class loner for the rest of the day. He never made any friends, well ones that didn’t last long. Though he was content with that. It was better than having ones that would backstab you or talk behind your back. For being a small town, Dalgleish didn’t have much to offer with people. So, people created their own drama. Luckily in all of the Huang siblings’ time in Dalgleish, they never had any mentions of being in drama. They only were the butt of the joke of their low-class dad, but Mei and Renjun never paid attention, so the joke died before it was even alive. That belonged to the top of the hierarchy in their school. But, Renjun could care less about them and rather focused on his studies and jobs.

“Here is yours and Chenle’s homework,” Renjun flipped through the countless essays in the folder, handing Lucas the needed homework.

“Ahh, thanks, let me send you the money now. I’m also paying for Chenle’s, just in case you wonder why there’s extra,” Lucas pulled his phone out to send the money through the Venmo app.

Feeling his phone buzz, Renjun took his phone out to check that the amount was correct. Confirming that it was right, well it was actually over. Chenle and Lucas were always kind enough to pay extra. They always said it was just for the hard work that he gives since they were his first customers and the growth of the services. “Thanks, Lucas.”

Lucas smiled before heading his way for his class. After he left, Renjun continued to make his way to all of the students that needed their work for the day. He scheduled different locations and times around the school to make sure that his contraband work wasn’t known to the faculty of the school. The only one who knew was their English and Physics teachers. Mrs. Lee and Dr. Jean.

Mrs. Lee immediately knew that the essays by the students in her class weren’t written that perfectly. The growth from one essay to another seemed to be developed overnight. Not trying to question her students, they were bright but most that had the perfect scored work weren’t the brightest. Knowing this, Mrs. Lee found out after give and take, she realized that the work was by Renjun. To let him know that she knew, she asked to conference with him after class. The only thing that Renjun grasped from the conversation is that she blatantly called her students stupid when it came to essays. Renjun agreed but defended them that they were smart in other areas and needed to strengthen their levels in the writing department.

And for Dr. Jean, he just didn’t care.

“So, who’d you write for this time? I just don’t wanna read the essays to waste my time to give them A’s,” Mrs. Lee sat in her chair, sipping on her cup of coffee as she watched Renjun pack his stuff up so he could attend his next class.

He dismissed his teacher’s comment, placing his essay on her desk, “I’ll give you a list later. Oh, I also need a recommendation from my favorite teacher.” He smiled, setting a blank recommendation letter for the college he’s applying to on her desk.

He watched her scan over the document, only for her face to scrunch up in disgust. He reflected her expression with his own face, confused as to why she looked repulsed, “What is it now?”

“I don’t know, you could have chosen a better school with your grades and get in,” she tossed the paper into her neat stack before grabbing the essays and shelving it.

Renjun shrugged, knowing that the reason is that he was afraid to leave his sister and dad. More so, his sister. He didn’t want to leave all of the responsibilities to his sister. To delve even farther, the responsibility of taking care of their father. He wasn’t sure if Mei was ready to do it. A lot of people may wonder why he even thinks of his father, but his dad was still family. Their dad may not be in the best state and not pulling his weight as the head of the family, but he still worked every so often. Their dad was lucky enough to be friends with the owner of his job, and the owner understood the hardships that he was going through. The consequence of his lack in effort fell on his children.

“I just think it would be better if you attend some other college, maybe, I don’t know,” Mrs. Lee retrieved another document on a clipboard, handing it to him.

He grabbed the clipboard, wondering what it was. An application to University of Oregon. He laughed, tearing his eyes away from it to look out the window. She’s still trying to do this. He gave the clipboard back, “I can’t go to this university. It’s not even that good.”

“It was good to me,” Mrs. Lee gave him a hall pass on a sticky note before waving him off to allow him to get to his next class.

“Well, I’m passing and staying in the best town in the world,” he waved as he walked out of the class.

Renjun pondered on the idea of leaving Dalgleish, but would it be the right decision. Everything he needed was right here. There could be a great job opportunity when he graduates from the community college. Well somewhere and that somewhere is not in Dalgleish. He was going to have to move out of the town one way or another if he wanted to pursue his dream of becoming a computer scientist. Maybe, he could find a way to come back to Dalgleish, opening a company would be beneficial. That was settled on a maybe. For now, all he needed to do was pass junior year and move onto senior year.

Making his way inside of the physics classroom, he showed the pass to Dr. Jean, only for it to be dismissed. He took his seat next to the window in the back. With the lack of care that his teacher had in the class, Renjun worked on the next requests of his services.

“Renjun, you’re working with Isabelle,” his teacher declared. Renjun picked up his head so fast, wondering as to why there’s suddenly a project. He was always informed beforehand in the beginning of the semester of what’s to come, but he came to realize Dr. Jean was the best teacher at coming up with random projects. Renjun just nodded, clearing his backpack from the chair next to him allowing Isabelle to sit it in.

Isabelle gave him a head bow, greeting him, “Hi. I’m Isabelle but you could just call me Hwayoung. You probably already knew that. I can’t believe Dr. Jean still calls me Isabelle, probably because he can’t pronounce half of our names.”

Renjun chuckled, shutting his computer off to place back in his backpack. He picked two of the copies of the paper before tossing the extra copies inside of the extra copy bucket that was behind him. He handed the paper to Hwayoung before reading the document. Seeing it was the project, his mouth contorted to a form of disappointment in finding the surprise assignment. The project didn’t even have anything to do with physics but basically getting to know your partner and put it in a PowerPoint. He didn’t know if he wanted to cry or laugh. He glanced in Hwayoung’s direction: Pretty. Pretty. Popular.

Choi Hwayoung. The ideal girl that anyone could ask for. She was nice and smart. She was one of the pretty girls of the school, and everyone knew that. Renjun liked her when he joined the Model UN team, and she was also on it. He thought that she was also smart when she stood her ground during the time of Model UN. He wished he could have stayed longer as he enjoyed it, but his sister wasn’t all that capable when he had to leave for a competition once. Despite thinking the basic reasons for him liking her, he liked how she smiled and her dimples just protruded. Her eyes were full of life when debating. How she spun her pen between her fingers when she was in focus. Renjun, tone your feelings down.

Now, he wasn’t sure if he still liked her due to the lack of attention he gave his own feelings.

“Oh right, my name is Renjun,” he whispered as Dr. Jean ranted on another go of the conspiracy theories of the Illuminati and Beyoncé . His teacher always made the time in class go by faster or slower depending on how dedicated he is to the conspiracy topic. Some were more interesting than others. He looked over to her writing, “I think you knew that already.”

“Yeah, I did. You were on the Model UN team but left, you were really good at what you did,” Hwayoung complimented him. He smiled, nodding as his way of accepting the praise.

The small talk ceased as the bell rang for dismissal, he collected his items and shoved them into his backpack. He slung his backpack over his shoulder, “I’ll do the project and turn it in when it’s finished.”

“But this is a two person project. I am not asking for your homework service to come in play here,” Hwayoung turned to look at him. “Maybe, we could just actually do it together. Unless you don’t want to because you’re uncomfortable to do that which then do the project by yourself, just text me if you need anything.”

With that, she smiled and left. Renjun watched her leave the classroom. That was a first. Typically any project with partners left Renjun to do the work all by himself, which he didn’t mind. Most complain that they had to do it by themselves, but he enjoyed the easy A without the others messing it up.

The final school bell rang, but Renjun was already in the car, waiting for his sister. He hummed to the music, tapping to the tunes of Ariana Grande’s Dangerous Woman album. His head turned to the door opening, and his sister joined him in the car already singing the song. Renjun turned down the volume, “Ready?”

She nodded while buckling up her seatbelt. Renjun placed the car in reverse, only for a student to be waving a paper trying to get his attention. He wasn’t paying attention, trying to get Mei to work on time was his priority.

As he continued to reverse the car, he still hadn’t noticed the student until Mei tugged on his jacket. He slammed on the breaks, finally seeing the student waving the paper around in the rear-view mirror. He almost ran over him. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to come to a compromise in his head that he almost committed homicide by accident, “What the hell?”

The male student walked around from the rear of the car before going around to the driver’s side. He knocked on Renjun’s window before Renjun rolled the window, “Why were you in my way?”

“You almost killed me. Shouldn’t you feel a little empathetic?” The student smiled with a teasing tone in his voice.

“If you have nothing important, I will be going now,” Renjun put the car in drive, starting to press on the acceleration pedal. He still wanted to know what the student wanted, but it was probably just another order for homework help. “If you want me to do your homework, find my number and text me.”

“I want you to help me write a love letter. I read your essay for Lucas, and it was really good,” the student requested, holding the note out. Renjun slammed on the brakes once again, but this time, Mei slapped her brother in the shoulder for the discomfort of their backs hitting the seats so harshly. He looked at her with an apologetic expression before his gaze turned back to the student.

The student held the note at the window, which Renjun started to read.

Dear Choi Hwayoung.

The first three words were enough for Renjun to decide if he was going to help this fool or not. He shoved the letter back into the hands of the requester, “Nope, I’m not writing a love letter to Hwayo- to her.”

“Oh, to who?” Mei pitched in. Love always made people curious, well more nosy. Then, the ideas of who ends up with who just turned into a big mess. Renjun certainly didn’t want to help someone out that wanted to create a love letter. Plus if he was the recipient of a love letter, he hoped it wasn’t made by someone that didn’t have feelings for the person. Or in Renjun’s case, written by the person’s personal feelings. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be genuine. Artificial. Unauthentic. Fake. Love isn’t supposed to be any of those things if a person wants to make it work.

“No one, Mei.” Renjun answered before he turned back to the student, “Have a good day.” He rolled the windows back up and continued to drive away to his priority. He looked in the mirror once more to find the student sulking with his head down. He chuckled. That’s so pathetic.

“Hey, you could have totally picked that request up. That was Lee Jeno,” Mei tapped away on her phone as she informed him of who the student was. Renjun scoffed, but he also was unsure why the name of the student is relevant. Customers are customers. There’s no needed relationship as it’s based on monetary and satisfaction of getting work done. Mei looked at her brother who stayed silent, and she was sure that he had no clue who Jeno was. She raised her eyebrow, “Do you not know who Lee Jeno is?”

“Do I care? Mm.. Not really,” he didn’t really care about who Jeno was. He rarely cared about any of the people in the school, as they weren’t his business. He wanted to stay out of anyone’s mouths as much as possible. Renjun thought of who Jeno was because he did sound familiar. They lived in a small town, so everyone knew most of each other. Dalgleish compromised mostly of East Asians, but nonetheless it still had a good variety of other ethnicities. It shouldn’t be hard to think of who Jeno was. Ah, he’s the boy who used to live four houses down when they were younger before the downfall of the Huangs came about. Jeno would try to invite them to play often with the other kids in the neighborhood, but Renjun was shy at the time, and Mei wasn’t the one who enjoyed company. Though that did start to change as they grew older. Renjun wasn’t shy, just liked to keep to himself to stay out of trouble, and Mei enjoys the energy with people.

“Jeno is the star student of the school, more like the perfect Asian kid. He plays the violin, ping-pong captain, forward for soccer, and is part of A Honor Roll,” Mei listed all of the things that Jeno specialized in. Renjun listened but wasn’t in awe of the achievements that Jeno had. Most of the kids in the school participated in those activities, differing in sports and academics. Everyone had their own skill set to show off, which made Jeno not any different from the student body.

“Okay, what does that have to do with me?” Renjun questioned, stopping at the red light. He wasn’t sure what his sister was making in her brain. She was most likely going to lose track of where she was heading to prove a point.

“Plus, he banks and his parents have this IT company in California. So if you help him, he could probably get you to return in favor by getting you an internship,” Mei added onto her tracks. She sure did make a point. That was a first. Renjun surely could land a job if he gets an internship, but he didn’t want to use someone like that. He wanted to do it on his own.

“Yeah, no. I refuse to do that,” Renjun pressed his foot down on the gas pedal, accelerating the car as the light switched to green.

“How come? It’s a good opportunity, I’m just saying,” Mei said as she shuffled around in her seat, adjusting her jacket.

“Well, I don’t want to use someone like that. I want to get there on my own, no matter how hard it is. I have a plan to get there,” Renjun answered. He arranged his future’s timeline, coming up with the desired plan. He thought of Plan B, just in case the first one didn’t work. Then, he had his safety plans just in case nothing of his wants couldn’t come to reality.

Mei answered with a hum. Renjun was glad that she didn’t continue the conversation. He parked next to the curb in front of the library and turned off the engine. He decided to study at the library. He didn’t have much to do today other than making dinner and finishing the rest of the requests that he didn’t assign to his sister. Plus, the library offered free food and beverages to their workers. And, who doesn’t like free food?

“Your shift ends at 7, which is perfect. I’ll be in my usual section, working and studying if you need anything,” Renjun said as he left his sister as they entered the downtown library. He walked towards the Japanese literature section, quietly greeting some of the regular goers that he recognized. Living in Dalgleish, he picked up quite a few languages. He was surrounded by multiple ethnicities who differed in languages and to benefit the elderly who weren’t comfortable using English, he thought it would be nice to learn their native language. Plus, there were foreigners who came frequently to visit the town. It was like a tourist attraction, sometimes. Even if there wasn’t anything to see in the town.

Renjun was only fluent in Mandarin Chinese and Korean, but he was conversational in other languages like Cantonese and Japanese. He tried to make the effort, plus his world geography class had an extra credit opportunity to explore languages. Despite not seeming to be a people person at school, Renjun was able to converse easily with others when he was out and about. He often got teased by his sister for it because he always said he was not a people person.

He placed his belongings on the ground, unpacking his laptop, and plugging the charger in the outlet to refuel the laptop’s battery. Putting his earphones in to enjoy his music, he bopped his head a little to the beats. Renjun checked his list if he had any new requests. He wanted to know if Jeno asked for one with his love letter. That’s so stupid. Love letters are supposed to be personal. He’s such a dumbass.

“Hey.” came out of nowhere. Renjun jerked in his chair a little, even if he had earphones, he didn’t blast it just in case someone asked him about anything in the library. He still was a worker there, even if he wasn’t working. He thrived off of a busy schedule. He didn’t thrive off on being startled.

He whipped his head to the person who peeked over his shoulder, almost throwing his hands around if it wasn’t in a public place or at least a library. He saw the same boy from earlier, only this time in neater clothes. Jeno was wearing his athletic warm-ups when he was at the school. Renjun just blinked his eyes before shaking his head and getting back to his laptop, “You’re in a library, look through some books for inspiration for your love letter. Good luck to you and bye.”

“Oh come on, I’m not the best at words and expressing my feelings. Can you just at least read it and revise?” Jeno asked, moving a chair from another table to sit with Renjun. The ping-pong star received hushes from those around him, causing both Renjun and Jeno to have apologetic looks to them.

Renjun shook his head, “No. No way.”

“I’ll pay you extra from what your highest price is. I’ll pay you even more for authenticity,” Jeno pulled his phone out. Renjun peeked over at Jeno’s screen to see his website page with the costs of the homework papers. He thought about the extra costs. He possibly could buy his sister’s dress for homecoming, so she could keep her money from work and spend it on makeup and other necessities to get ready for school events. It was a good idea, but Renjun wasn’t the best at even expressing feelings and whatnot.

“I’ll give you $100 for this one letter,” Jeno offered.

“Alright, sold.”