#this might read like me taking a depression nap or so and in the off-chance it does; no worries!!! i was just really tired lmao

[gu6chan]

was DETERMINED id finish my OC sheet last night but ended up passing out with my clothes still on, my bags, laptop, book (it's on the history of German as a language! :0), and notebook still on the bed, and when i woke up i saw my phone was left on all night on the post 💀

[alwaysanundertone]

hiw Abt a marauderers x FEM reader, like where it's after a double moon or smth and Remus is EXTREMELY clingy to the reader, snuggled in her, doesnt let her move, literally anything...and sirius on the other hand is in an awful mood cuz he had some family problem or some thing...he needs support and the reader or Remus aren't there to help him out..and jamesie? Well he had a quidditch match and lost that and is in an equally depressive mood...they all need the reade..but she isn't able to comfort them all...

Sirius becomes and and shouts at the reader...rmeua shouts at sirius for shouting at the reader and James (he can't shout, he's too sweet lol) argues with Remus for being to clingy to the reader...

And so they all get mad and stuff and go to other rooms of the house (lol)

This keeps on continuing until the reader lashes out on all three of them!!!

(p.s: u can totally not do it, if u don't like it lol)

my first request! I'm kind of nervous. My requests are open, and while writing this I realized how much I love them! So feel free to send them <3

Love can be overwhelming | poly! marauders x reader

slight angst / a bit of fluff

word count: 1.8k

CW: mention of abusive household

part 1, part 2 , part 3

When you started dating the Marauders, the first thing that your friend Dorcas said was to beware, polyamorous relationship could be tough. At first, you brushed her off: you knew that, but your love for the boys would have overcome everything.

Or at least you thought so.

You have been experiencing the worst week of your whole life, you were stressed over your head with schoolwork, wanting to stay on top of your class but, also, struggling too, and this time, your boyfriends weren’t helping at all.

It all started with the fact that, obviously, it was the week before the full moon, meaning that Remus was extremely on edge, but also clingy. Having an afternoon for yourself was a luxury: the werewolf had to stay by your side all of the time. You didn’t quite get this clinginess, because he behaved this way only with you; he wanted to have the other two marauders near, of course, but he was fine as long as you didn’t wonder off, and sometimes he seemed to be a bit possessive over you. So, let’s say that if you felt the need to have some practice lessons for potions, he had to be there, and it didn’t matter if the professor didn’t want anyone else in the room with you: you had to choose between having him near you, or skipping the extra lessons you so desperately needed.

“Remus, I know it’s stressful for you, but you must understand I have to take this class. It’s not like I’m going to be gone all afternoon, I’m asking you for two hours maximum. You know that Slughorn doesn’t like having other people during these lessons, and he’s doing me a favour here” He looked like you just might have kicked him.

“I don’t understand why my partner suddenly doesn’t want me around.” You took a deep breath: truth was, you knew that he wasn’t being unreasonable because he wanted to. If his werewolf instincts weren’t acting up, he would have probably pushed you to take even more lessons, but now he wasn’t in his right mind. You had to chance tactic.

“Baby, you know that I love you, right? I love you so, so much” You took his face into your hands, you saw his expression visibly shift. “And I know it isn’t easy for you, I know that. I swear, if you go napping now, you won’t even notice I’m gone”

“But napping is way more fun with you” His voice turned sultry, his hands now groping your ass lightly. You couldn’t help but feel a pang of need, but now was not the time.

“Tell you what, I’m going to lay down with you until you’re asleep. I’ll give you some head scratches, then, when I’ll be back, you’ll have me all to yourself. Does this sound good?” His pupils were now a little bit wider; he nodded and hauled you on his shoulder, making you yelp when he made you fall on the bed. He positioned his head on your chest, a hand crawling underneath your shirt to grip one of your tits possessively, while the other one stayed underneath your ass, the tips of his fingertips hovering dangerously close to your core.

You knew that his hold wasn’t casual: he was trying to make you stay, knowing the effect that he had on you, but you couldn’t give in: you had to stay strong,  because deep down you knew that, if you failed this exam, you wouldn’t be in the right mind to help Remus during the full moon.

You just had to get through this week, it was only 7 days, right? And most of today was gone, if the other boys would be helpful, as they always did, everything was going to be just fine.

You wandered off to the Great Hall for breakfast, exhausted. After the lesson with Slughorn, you came back to a very needy Remus, who took all of his clinginess out of you, leaving you sore and tired; while he slept soundly, though, you had to study and make up for the hours lost being supportive for your boyfriend, leaving you with about two hours of sleep in the last forty-eight hours.

“Hey girl, didn’t see you in our dorm room yesterday, oh what the fuck-“ Dorcas looked at you like you might have grown another head during the nighttime. “Babes, have you slept? Like, at all?”

“No, I haven’t. Remus is being extremely clingy, and you know that I’m not the best when it comes to Potions. Given the fact that the test is going to be next week, I barely have time to rest” She scoffed, but you interrupted her before she could start. “I know that James and Sirius should help, but he’s being this clingy only with me, and they can’t do much about that; plus, the upcoming game is stressing them out so much, yesterday they came to bed after practice, they didn’t even eat anything. I just want to support them”

She sighed. “I know baby, but try to not burn out, okay? If you need any help, I’m here, you know? Now, let’s go eat something”

You were happy to share some time with her and your boyfriends, but when you sat next to Sirius, one look at him told you anything that there was to know.

He didn’t greet you, didn’t sport his usual smirk: he was looking down at his plate like it might have held the answer to all his problems, while James looked at you preoccupied. Remus just held you close to himself. You tried to peel yourself away from his embrace, to not avail.

“Sirius, baby, do you want to talk? We can skip the first few hours and go on a walk to the Black Lake?” Now he was looking at you, his eyes were red and puffy, you tried to not cringe at his expression.

“It’s okay, Y/N, just the usual” You hated how he always seemed to shut down, not wanting to share his problems with you. As you tried to reach for his hand, Remus snatched you back, holding you close to him: you could see the moment in which Sirius shut you out for good, and you wanted to kick Remus for it.

“I’m going to handle this, you’re going to think about Remus, okay darling? Then I will report back to you, I swear” James whispered in your ear, You took a deep breath, nodding: you were thankful for him, but you still didn’t want to make Sirius feel like he couldn’t count on you.

You had the time to eat a biscuit before you had to head to class, Remus trailing behind you. You just had to wait for a few days, a few days and all of this would be over, and you had James to help you get through this week. You would be fine, you told yourself.

On Wednesday, you were thankful that Remus had an important herbology test, which gave you enough time to check in with Sirius. You entered their dorm room, spotting his curled frame under piles of blankets: you felt a pang of guilt, you swore your heart broke just a little.

Without making any sounds, you peeled the blankets off and wrapped your body around his, he startled in his sleep.

“Shh, baby, I’m right here. You’re safe, you know that? And I’ll always be here for you, no matter what” It was like you opened a faucet: his body started trembling, and then came the sobbing, he turned around and hugged you back, you caressed his head and back softly. After he quieted down a bit, you took his face into your hands, forcing him to look into your eyes. “Would you like for me to sing for you?” He nodded eagerly, burying his face in your chest, while you sang him a lullaby.

After a bit, you heard his breath even out. Your heart ached for your lover, you didn’t know what living in an abusive household felt like, and you sometimes even felt guilty over the fact that you had the most loving parents someone could ever asked for. You knew it was silly, but if you could, you’d swap family in a blink of an eye, everything to take this burden off of Sirius’s shoulders.

“Is he okay?” James whispered, startling you. He bent down, placing a soft kiss on your head. “I don’t know, Jamie. He had a breakdown, now he is asleep. I don’t know how to help him, I don’t want him to suffer like this every month.”

“I know, love, I know. You’re doing your best, and he appreciates it. But” He looked at you embarrassed, and you already knew what was going on, you sighed. “Remus just finished his test, and he’s going kind of nuts, he wants you by his side. You should go”

“Can’t he just come here, so we could cuddle?”

“I don’t know, love. This moon seems different, he got a lot more possessive over you. He just wants you for himself, I think we’re going to fix this before the next month, but for now, I think you should go”

You nodded, looking down art Sirius for the last time, before looking for Remus.

You prayed Sirius didn’t feel abandoned by you,  but you still had James to count on.

On Thursday, you stayed in bed all day with Remus. You studied, of course, and he seemed happy to have you around. You didn’t see Sirius at all, given the fact that you stayed at your dorm, but you thought that James was handling him well.

Exactly, you thought, because, as you and Remus took your seats for the Friday’s night Quidditch game, after having studied all day in the library, you felt a bit anxious. You told yourself you were being paranoid, but deep down, you knew something was off, and when Sirius entered the Quidditch pitch, you knew he wasn’t okay. He didn’t come to greet you, didn’t even look at you, and when you shoot a glance at James, he just averted his gaze: you were fucked.

You took a deep breath and snuggled closer to Remus, his clinginess now comforting, as the game begun. From the first actions, you knew that they were going to lose: Sirius looked like he wasn’t even trying, while James was too preoccupied to check on him to score a single goal.

And as the game ended, you knew your night was going to be an awful one: Gryffindor just lost the game.

[cinnamonest]

Daily Life - Yandere Childe, Zhongli, Xiao

A continuation of the earlier post about Kaeya and Diluc

Content Warnings: n/s/f//w mentions/themes/stuff (but not like, explicit detail), fem reader, normal yandere stuff

==================

Childe's a busy guy. He wakes you up every morning, usually pretty sweetly. He'll nuzzle up against your face, mumbling a "good morning" into your ear. He's sweet, but, you gotta get up when he tells you to. And you have to be the one to make food, he likes watching you walk around.

If he's gone, he is again one to give darling a surprising amount of freedom. He has the highest quality of security available and all, so he allows some roaming. That and, in a sorta terrifying thought, he's one hundred percent confident that even if you got away, he could find you, so he's not even too worried about escaping. He's so confident that you'll never truly escape him, which frankly is pretty intimidating for darling to realize. He'll get you things you like and stuff to do, stimulate your mind and all that, probably as time goes on will leave you chore lists and things you're required to do for him or else.

When he gets back, he's very tired usually, will expect you to make him food and be sweet and greet him at the door when he comes back, preferably on your knees. If you're not, he'll get irritated, especially if you're trying to hide. If you're just asleep or something, he might excuse it and find it cute. But he does a lot for you, you know, the least you can do is this one little thing. If he's had a particularly bad day, he'll be extra irritated, so it's wise to follow this command, and be ready to have all of his irritation taken out on you the moment he gets back. You're his favorite little stress ball to stuff and squeeze.

For days off, as I've said before he's one of the few that will willingly take you outside, and unlike Kaeya from the last routine post he's not in a bad mood about it either. He likes to show you off, likes walking in public holding hands or with his arm around you so that people can see, it gives him a sort of pride, and honestly he likes mimicking a "normal" relationship. But just know you're on a tight leash. Not literally of course... yet. He lays it out very clearly exactly how you are to behave when going outside, not speaking to others and not going out of his sight. Any attempts to make a scene, try to get a stranger to help etc will be dealt with fairly harshly. And don't think about pulling some covert, sneaky shit like trying to look at a stranger with the "help me" facial expression or trying to silently mouth something, slip a written message to a waitress etc -- he'll be watching you closely enough to pick up on any of that, and honestly that will set him off more than blatantly trying to make a scene. You will be immediately headed home to get an attitude adjustment since you can't behave.

Later on, he'll want you to accompany him to his work sometimes, on those days that whatever he has to do involved more sitting down than fighting - paperwork, important meetings, etc. He likes your presence, of course, you make the time pass more quickly. But really this is, more than anything, because he's an arrogant show-off. He'll give you something to fiddle with but will just sit you on his lap throughout the whole time, gently stroking your thigh or resting his head on your shoulder, making you wear embarrassingly revealing things and making sure everyone sees, be it the entire group in a wide meeting hall or some subordinate come to have a one-on-one talk, or even his superiors, thanking them for them letting him bring his pet to work. It even allows him to get in some good de-stressing during the middle of the day when no one else is around. Expect lots of bring-your-fucktoy-to-work days like that.

Of course, not every day is spent out, though. He also has days he'd rather just stay at home. These days are usually after a long period of difficult work and late nights, so he's exhausted. Expect lots of naps, just cuddles and an arm wrapped around your waist (with a solid iron grip, of course). May or may not progress to slow cuddlefucking, who knows (yes it always does). He gets all whiny and demanding because he's soooo tired, so he'll make you get on top after a few rounds.

-------

Honestly we all envy my Zhongli's darling already, but God he's the best to wake up to. He just softly kisses the side of your face, running his hands down your sides. He can't let you sleep in too much, it's bad for your health! You can probably beg for a few minutes extra. And God, is it the best to wake up to. He's already got someone (probably one of the other adepti, a person, who knows) to make you food, and it's never skimping out either, it's always tons of food and your favorite things, too. Within limits, of course, can't have you eating nothing but things that are bad for you. He's also one that will get you tons of things to do throughout the day, virtually anything you ask for, he'll pay for (well... someone will, but you'll think he did, at least). He actually might also give you a list of very simple tasks to do, just to give you some motivation, since even if you have a lot to do, having no tasks and only play can get depressing without the sense of accomplishment. But he's much more lenient on your completion of all of them.

He's always reluctant to leave and gives you a lot of headpats and kisses before finally heading out for  the day, always taking time to contemplate whether or not he can just take the day off. During the day you'll stay in the confinements of your cage, be that an abode or a building somewhere, making sure you stand zero chance of ever getting out. If you force his hand (read: multiple escape attempts), he'll reluctantly have to limit your roaming abilities, but once you're confined to a smaller cage and have some privileges taken away, he's certain you'll be on your best behavior to get out again, and maybe be a little more grateful and understanding in the future. Once he gets back, it's generally a very nice time, he likes to lead a quiet life and will want to hear all about your day, what you did, see the progress on all those little projects you've been working on for art or music or whatever hobby you've taken up to pass the time. If he's had a bad day, he'll probably tell you about it, but you know, put it in terms simple enough for you to understand, since you wouldn't normally get such complicated matters.

On very very rare occasions, not nearly as often as Childe, he might take you to on his day with him, probably not during normal workdays, but for some kind of special day -- a large meeting, or the opposite, a day where he has nothing to do but slow paperwork alone in an office. The sunlight is good for you, and he'll bring stuff for you to do too. To be honest, it's not as obvious nor as obnoxiously vocal about it as Childe, but he also does enjoy having your presence in front of others, letting them see you. The things you'll have to wear aren't nearly as obscenely lewd as Childe's either, but they're not entirely wholesome either.

He really likes having off days. On those days, he'll probably want to take you somewhere, generally will do whatever you want to do. He's incredibly knowledgeable on everything in the area, and would probably also really like going out somewhere secluded in nature, rather than in the city, like a nice view from the nearby mountains or the like, and just spend a day there. It's nice, and far away from prying eyes that can't recognize your face off the missing person posters or witness the obscene things that may or may not take place up there.

 Spending time home is always nice too, though, just quietly going about the day and doing whatever you want, although inevitably taking breaks for much-needed... displays of physical affection. And he tries so hard to be gentle, but he also has a lot of stress pent up that may just come out and result in being a bit rougher than usual, but he's always apologetic afterward, making sure you're alright. He's also pretty strict about the time you go to bed. Making sure you get enough sleep and all that.

-------

Xiao's poor, poor darling. You always wake up to him shaking you awake. He's impatient. Once he feels you've had enough sleep, he'll get you up like that. Don't try to get more sleep-in time, he's not very gracious on that, will simply huff and yank you up. Otherwise, the mornings can be... Sweet. It's not like he's trying to be so cold all the time; if you're well behaved he can be pretty loving, even if he doesn't quite know how to be gentle. He just has... Low tolerance.

Xiao is very quiet for the most part, and the mornings have a sort of silent peacefulness provided it's one of your days that you don't choose to be difficult. He likes to watch you go about the morning. It's a little creepy to be honest? He just sits there nearby and watches you move around, make food, brush your hair or teeth or whatever. He'll eat whatever you make him, even if it's not one of his extremely limited liked items. He might complain, though.

During the times he IS gone, well, it's extremely boring for poor darling. Early on, or if you've done something to warrant it (read: literally the slightest word of disagreement, a tone of voice he doesn't like, even a facial expression he deems defiant) you'll be bound to the bed, hand and foot. Nothing to do whatsoever but stare at the ceiling. It's your own fault, if you were good maybe it wouldn't be like this, he says. When you are good, and have a nice long-time record of being extremely pleasant and sweet to him - and I mean a LONG time - he might - might - finally let you be unbound aside from a long anklet chain connecting you to the bed. Not like you have much else to do, though. Maybe he'll get you books if you ask nicely and grovel at his feet. But that's it. He doesn't like the thought of giving you too much entertainment. If being alone is mind-numbingly boring, well, you'll enjoy time with him that much more. Eventually you'll reach a point where you're begging him not to leave, he hopes, even if he would never admit to that. So what he'll do is balance it, give you just enough to keep your whining down, but keep making sure you're miserable when alone. He only allows you "activities" (read: a book) on certain days of the week, or every other day, every third day, something like that. And you can only get a new book once a month or so. And it's whatever he finds, not just what you want, so he'll start dropping you with encyclopedias and textbooks and other dull things. You can't complain, after all he IS giving you something to do. If you're gonna complain, well, how would you like to have the reading privilege revoked entirely? And that shuts you up. So, really, poor darling's days are very very bleak, dull, and empty, when alone.

He doesn't really have a "end of the day." His "job" is more or less a 24/7 thing, he goes when he's needed and when he's not needed he'll be with you. Usually it's a semi normal schedule but it can lead to odd intervals - you may have times he's gone for a full day or so, and then times where he's there for a whole day, etc. Spending time together is quiet, but he's surprisingly fond of physical affection. He spends a lot of time just... alone with his thoughts. Spacing out and thinking, looking up at the sky, except, well, now it's him, his thoughts, and you. You'll spend it with him too, iron grip locked around your waist so you can't pull away from his lap. He's also one to need to get out the... frustrations of life through physical activity at night.

Days he's there, again, it's pretty quiet, he's not much one for extensive conversation, of course. If you talk, he'll listen, but don't expect him to say much back. He likes the sound of your voice, one of the only people he doesn't prefer silence to, so long as you're not whining about wanting to leave. He doesn't really have a lot of sitting-down type of work to do, so if he's spending a whole day time with you, it means he's specifically worked it out so that he's able to do so for that purpose. He'll probably prompt you to speak, it's super awkward really. An awkward comment about this or that that he clearly wants you to start talking about, and he'll talk back just a little bit, with his own brand of harsh pessimism -- but that's just the only way he really knows how to communicate, he's not actually trying to shut you down when he responds to everything negatively. It's the most bizarre bonding time, but bonding nonetheless. He also likes to watch you do tasks -- to make food, even if it's just for yourself, to clean and walk around doing your little tasks. He may or may not eventually discover a fondness for forcing you to walk around naked, poor darling.

I've mentioned before that his drive is reactive - it gets heavier when he's with you. So really, your day will be filled with little fun intervals of very spontaneous fucking. Like, he has no sense of mood or timing. It's completely random, very forceful, will just loop his hands under your arms and scoop you up and carry you over to bed at any random moment, interrupting your speech even. Or, sometimes the bed is too far, and just bending you over is easier. And then, he'll just carry on like nothing happened.

He's not one to rant and rave about his day by default, and especially not early on. In the later stages, though, once he's comfortable with you, you might find him slipping out a frustration here or there, a passing comment about something upsetting that happened, and if you pry at it, he'll end up talking, much more than usual. He kind of doesn't even realize he's starting to ramble a bit, and if he catches himself he'll stop and mutter something about it being unimportant anyway.

Bonus little hc: He asks you how your day was. Every day that he's not with you. It's a routine - he started doing it because from his limited knowledge of human relationships, it's the "normal," so he tries to emulate what he feels like is normal in a relationship. It's kind of funny, well, not for poor darling, it feels mocking. Like, how do you think my day was, Xiao? All tied up and left only to stare at the ceiling? If you get all sarcastic with him like that, though, he might see it as grounds for punishment, so, be snarky at your own risk.

[band--psycho]

Chibs Telford x Reader-Taken (Part 1)

So I decided to make a little series based off of this request , there will be about 3 (maybe 4) parts to this series and I hope you all enjoy them!💛

Part 2

SOA Masterlist / Chibs Telford Masterlist

Warnings: Brief mentions of post natal depression, fighting, blood, attack, child being kidnapped (please don't read if this is going to trigger you)

“Seriously? Baby you’ve only just come back!” Y/n sighed, the frustration clear in her voice.

“I know, it’s not exactly a decision I’m happy with, but Jackie boy needs me-”Chibs ran a hand through his silvering hair, letting out a sigh of his own. Part of him wanted nothing more than to stay with his girls. Two of the most important people in his life. As he looked at Y/n, he couldn’t help but think about Kerrianne and Fiona, the other two most important people in his life. He’d missed so much of Kerriannes life; he’d missed her growing up and he didn’t want the same to happen with Y/d/n. And he missed Y/n, so much while he was away.

He knew that Jax needed him on this run, and not just Jax, the Club was important to him too, which is why he needed to go.

“A few days..” Y/n mumbled under her breath, her eyes locked onto the carpet, avoiding Chisbs gaze “..that’s what you said last time and you were gone for the best part of a week,” although her voice was quiet, it was full of annoyance and the look in her eyes showed her frustration and anger.

“Ye knew the life ye were marrying into, the club is ma life, that’s not gonna change, Lass,” Chibs retorted, although his heart was torn on what to do, he knew he needed to go with Jax, not just for support, for the money that he’d get from it. Money which they needed, especially with Y/d/n now here. He wanted to be able to support them, to be able to give them a good life, and if that meant taking a few more risks to make some extra money, he was going to do it, although he couldn’t deny the look on Y/n's face broke his heart, he needed to go.

“Lass-”he began, not wanting to leave things like this; he didn’t want to leave her when she was angry and upset.

The cries of their daughter echoing down the stairs halted both of them in their words. Y/n took a deep breath, quickly trying to calm herself down so that Y/n wouldn’t sense her anger and sadness. Chibs was right, she did know the life that she was marrying into, she knew what the club did (and although she didn’t necessarily agree with everything they did, she understood it), she understood that this was Chibs’ life and the money he got from deals that were made via the club were definitely helpful, especially whilst she wasn’t working.It didn't mean that she was happy about being away for as long as he was. She missed him. Y/d/n missed him. And Y/n was worried that if he spent much more time away from them that Y/d/n would forget him and that was the last thing she wanted...and she knew it was the last thing Chibs wanted. And as much as Gemma and the other mothers helped, it wasn’t the same as Y/d/n having her Da there to look after her.

“Y/n-” Chibs said, lightly grabbing her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb.

“A few days...promise me it’ll only be a few days,” She said, her eyes finally meeting his.

“I promise,” He cooed, giving her hand a light tug before placing a quick kiss onto her lips. And just like that, the two broke apart,Y/n headed up the stairs to comfort Y/d/n and Chibs left just almost just as quickly as he arrived. The quieter the sound of his motorbike got, the more Y/n's heart ached. As much as she loved the little bundle of joy she was holding in her arms, it was hard, the sleepless nights, the stress and anxiety of being a first time mother, mixed with the fear of Chibs getting hurt or worse, was just something that was beginning to get on top of Y/n. As she calmly shushed Y/d/n she couldn’t think how easier life would be if Chibs wasn’t part of Samcro...how normal their life might be compared to the chaos it seemed to be, yet she also knew that without the club, Chibs wouldn’t be the man same man she fell in love with.

~~~~~~

The days passed by slowly for Y/n, her sleeping pattern was a wreck, Y/d/n was certainly a night owl and made sure that Y/n didn’t spend much time asleep in the evening. To say that Y/n was exhausted was an understatement; it was times like this that she missed Chibs more, not only because he could look after Y/d/n so she could actually have some sleep, but just because all she wanted right now was one of his hugs. There was nothing quite like a hug from him; it was like he possessed this magic touch that just made her feel okay and she definitely needed that today.

So of course, she couldn’t help the beaming smile that came onto her face when she read ‘on ma way home’ from Chibs number. That message was enough to change her entire mood. She was finally going to be able to spend a night in her husband's arms for the first time in so long and Y/d/n was actually going to be able to spend time with her Da.

It got to about mid-day when the exhaustion caught up with Y/n, she ended up putting Y/d/n down for a nap, Y/n knew that she was probably going to regret doing this later, Y/d/n probably wasn’t going to want to sleep tonight because of this nap but Y/n was exhausted and just needed a little nap to recharge. Just as she Y/d/n drifted off to sleep, Y/n heard the doorbell ring.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath, expecting the sound to wake her daughter, much to her relief though, Yd/d/n remained fast asleep, completely unphased by the ringing echoing throughout the house, a sigh of relief left Y/ns mouth as she quickly but quietly made her way down the stairs to open the door. She hoped that it was Chibs, although she knew it wouldn’t be because she would’ve heard the all too familiar sound of his bike echoing through the streets. The only other person she really expected was Gemma, who being the ‘mother hen’ of the club liked to check up on Chibs’ family regularly, to make sure that both Y/n/ and Y/d/n were okay. Gemma knew how difficult it could be being a mother and wanted to help as much as she possibly could.

Much to Y/n's surprise though, when she opened the door she wasn’t met with the familiar face of Gemma. Instead, she was met with the face of a stranger. Y/n didn’t even get a chance to properly look at him before he threw a punch at her, knocking her to the ground with a thud. She tried to get back up but the guy just punched her again and again...and again. Her vision began to blur as blood trickled from her mouth and nose; she tried again to get back up, her mothering instinct kicking into action. She knew she needed to protect Y/n and that she wasn’t going to stop. Although between the mixture of exhaustion and the amount of punches she’d just taken, she could only throw a weak punch, one that had absolutely no effect on the man attacking her. The intruder threw another punch, sending Y/n back down to the ground. This time though he got on top of and continued to hit her, it didn’t matter what Y/n did, she kicked, she hit, she screamed, she tried to move but no of it worked the man just continued to beat her until she was left an unconscious bloody mess on the floor.

A proud look came over the intruder's face as he rose to his feet, heading up the stairs to Y/d/n's room. He didn’t care for the cries that left the infants mouth as he picked her up and left the house.He’d had a job to do and now it was done.

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[wakeupfreanz]

The Inner Child Speaks 🔑PAC Reading🔑

I swear I'm not really a pac kind of reader, but I will never ignore the call of the universe. Be advised that this reading might be emotional for some of you, choose a pile that resonates. Many blessings. None of the images are gender specific, truly pick whichever calls to you.

Pile 1: KnoW, 5oP, Justice, 7oC

Pile 2: PoC, 7oS, Death, KoW

Overall: AoP

Messages: Heart Chakra, "It's going to be okay", Overthinking.

"I feel like you shut me out sometimes." "I don't know if you like to hear me sometimes." This pile has a lot of strained feelings when it comes to connecting with themselves. Like you're trying to break off parts of yourself, ashamed of who you once were. There are probably some capricorn and pisces moons here. A lot of you are very quick to police and shut yourself up when it comes to expressing yourself. Like you didn't feel seen or heard so your first assumption is that nobody cares or wants to know, so you tend to just do the job yourself instead of be set up to feel hurt.

Your inner child is saying that it's okay for you to relax and chase things you like. This pile made me get really tear for you, because you tend to stomach so much and quietly carry your burdens without saying you need help. You'd collapse first without asking for help. Your inner child is telling you that we don't have to keep pushing and struggling through. We aren't climbing the mountain anymore. You're so worried that if we stop pushing forward that it's all going to fall apart, it doesn't make sense anymore. You're so scared of being betrayed that you have your defense and guard up constantly.

You might be a person of a more timid/quiet nature in truth, but you walk in the room and try to appear intimidating so nobody will mess with you. Your inner child is asking to be hear, stop trying to cut them away and detach yourself. Listen to them, understand them, hear them. They are you, they aren't a gum wrapped that's thrown away and never seen again. Your inner child is proud of who you are now and how far you've come, but it hurts them that you're trying so hard to forget that they ever existed.

Some of you in this pile might struggle with showing and receiving love and compassion. It feels like a lot of you might be the oldest in your family, you were made to be a caretaker before you knew how to take care of yourself.

_

Pile 1: 10oC, PoW, Moon, 5oS

Pile 2: Lovers, 7oC, 5oW, QoW

Overall: World rev

Messages: "It's going to be okay", "You hurt me", Overthinking.

There are some libra and aries placements in this pile. Your inner child is hurting when it comes to love and relationships. Almost as if you weren't given enough love or attention and it wounds you still today. Many of you may find yourselves overcompensating in all sorts of relationships because you believe that if you don't do enough they'll stop caring or loving you.

A good bunch of you in this pile when it comes to romantic relationships may find yourself trying to compensate for love you didn't receive in other relationships, especially in romantic. Partners to fill in parental roles, friends who will take care of you more than healthier platonic boundaries sometimes. Your inner child is telling you that the end of relationships isn't forever. Romantically, you can only bring yourself so much fulfillment in life. A good marriage isn't going to be the end of your life, you don't have to dedicate your entire being to someone because you feel like it could fix you. Your inner child and your past childhood tells me that you were very often confused. Some of you may have been very attached to some of your teachers in the past because they reflected or were similar to one of the caretakers in your life, or somewhat felt like they filled in the role of the one who could have been absent. Whether physically or emotionally.

Your inner child is asking you to stop fighting with them, stop fighting with others. It's hard to let go but what is yours will return to you and what must go should flow with the rest of time. Many of you in this pile may have more proclivity to emotional openness or being extroverted. You might be like the class clown or the funny friend. Your inner child is asking you to understand that there is so much more to life.

_

Pile 1: 10oC, WOF, KoP, 3oP

Pile 2: AoW, QoC, 8oP, 2oP

Overall: Star

Messages: Heart over Mind, Throat Chakra, Strength/Bravery

Those of you in this pile might struggle with headaches or migraines. Some of you might have a divorced family. Maybe some of you had parents of whom it felt as if you were the parent or had to handle much of the family business despite your youth.

Your inner child is asking you to speak to them. Many of you in this pile were often called "mature" for your age when you were younger. There is a lot of middle child energy. The independent one, the one that nobody had to worry about because they function very well independently. You often hold it together and walk along the fence easily through conflict. The problem is when it comes to you communicating how you feel to others, very strongly. You often feel like there truly might be no one that understands your problems or will listen long enough to get them.

You might feel as if you come off as monotone or boring, you often choose apathy as your coping mechanism because it's much easier for you not to feel much or look like you're feeling much from the outside. There are a couple of scorpio and gemini placements around here.

Your inner child is sending you much love and strength. They're saying that you won't end up like those around you and to stop worrying about it. You often might think or say to yourself "when i get married/have a family/get older, i wont be like them." Be reassured that you will not be. You are not doomed to the same fate that those around you are or might have done to themselves. Continue to work hard because you will make it. However your inner child is also telling you that you don't have to be so rigid and stick in the mud all the time. Please do not forget how to smile and enjoy yourself. Many of you might still have some bitterness and resentment for those who raised/were around you. Forgive them not just for them, but so you are open to receive that you are deserved. Blessings.

Some of you are much more like the father/dad friend rather than the mom friend. You often find strength in loyalty and taking care of those you deem worthy of it.

_

Pile 1: AoS, 9oP, 8oS, KnoS

Pile 2: KnoP rev, 9oP, KoS, AoW

Overall: 3oP

Messages: Identify, "It's going to be okay", Growth, Throat Chakra

"Please get to know me." Aquarius, Leo, and a few cancer placements here. Many of you in this pile might remember much of your childhood if at all, as if you've blocked it out of your memory consciously/unconsciously.

Some of you in this pile still feel like you're a kid at times, like you're not mature enough or equipped to handle anything in your life that happens. Like you're trapped on a merry go round and are forced just to go and watch what happens.

Your inner child is asking you to look back and understand who they are, who you are. You might have been so preoccupied with others that you might not have ever gotten the chance to really understand and develop your own identity. You might often find yourself spacing out and not noticing it, and generally avoid going through your emotions. So when they happen, they hit you like a freight train. Those closest to you might truly not know how to reach you because you're afraid of expressing yourself at all, even in private.

Many of you in this pile might struggle with self love and often bring yourself down. You might experience little bursts of enjoying yourself but they are generally very short lived. Your inner child is asking you to release your quietly pessimistic view on life and the world and be not afraid to explore it and try new things. Some of you in this pile are insanely intelligent but truly refuse to believe it. Some of you also may often argue with those who raised you. It's okay to not always know where to go or have a plan set out like everyone else. Stop being so hard on yourself.

Some of you also struggle with depression and may often take very long depression naps.

_

*TW for mentions of substance use and abuse in this pile.*

Pile 1: 3oS, Devil, PoP, 7oP

Pile 2: Fool, 10oW, AoC, 9oW

Overall: Star

Messages: Plan of Action, Shadow Side, Get Serious

I'm feeling strong leo placements for this pile. Some virgo placements too. For some of you, substance use/addiction might be in your family line. Some of you right now might use substances as a coping mechanism.

Some of you might have been or took witness to physical or emotional abuse in your youth in addition to this. Some of you here might have also been sickly as a child, constant colds, flu, fever, etc.

For many of you here, humor is also a big way for you to cope with some of the things that you experienced. You might not know how to stop joking, even when you're upset. Some of you struggle with bitterness toward the world and those around you.

Your inner child was not very talkative when I tapped into your energy. By nature you may be very introverted and quiet, some of you struggle with social anxiety and getting to know others.

Your inner child just wants to hug you and tell you that there is always a new day tomorrow. There is always a better place to go, a better place to be, better people to be around. There will be people who will teach you how to give and receive love, despite how painful it will be for you to unlearn old ideals imparted upon you. Many of you with traumas only speak of them to others who understand or have experienced similar things.

It will be hard to accept, but your inner child is asking you to reverse your self hatred and understand you are a gift to this world. There is beauty in life that will find you all around. Please be nicer to yourself. I'm sending a lot of love to this pile, you do not have to be the spokesperson or representative of everything you go through and have been through. Facing your shadow and understanding it is one step at a time, you are not broken person.

_

[belit0]

Commission for @GlitterBomba!

Part 2 of this!! I don't feel it's as angsty as it should be, but for some reason, my creativity wanted it that way? It's been a long time since I've last written, and this was definitely a challenge... First part was produced way too long ago, so it was also challenging to connect with what I felt when I wrote it! But here it is, and I hope you like it, GlitterBomba. Thanks for trusting me!

My Ko-fi page~ Buy me a coffee if anyone wants part 3 ❤（っ＾▿＾）

It took you days to awaken from your deep sleep, days which became weeks, and weeks transformed into months. There was no hope for your life among the healers, but the tenacity and insistence of those elders who saved you forced them to continue providing methods and energy, herbs, talismans to keep you breathing.

Impossible to explain how that mortal blow did not steal your last breath, not when the perpetrator was the greatest tyrant in the current world, the monster everyone learned to fear and flee from. In the small place where you are kept hidden, rumor has it the treacherous one repented as soon as his hand affected your body, causing you not to succumb immediately.

It wasn’t until after he vanished, shrouded in lightning and hatred, when one of Ashura’s subordinates came upon the scene of your sad fate. A pool of blood acting as a bed over a pale body, devoid of any warmth and life. Everyone was quick to write you off for dead after such an event, and only when one of the village elders took your pulse did he find your incredible attempt to resist despite all odds.

Keeping you along with the new leader and his people would not be a good idea. Not when you barely escaped with your life from the beast. In case he came back and besieged his younger brother, it would be better if he didn’t find you there. That man proved to have an unquenchable thirst for revenge.

Tempting fate once is more than enough.

That led a group of elderly men, those who defended your slight pulse when everyone thought you were dead, to ask Ashura’s permission before disappearing and taking you to a safe place, making use of some of the village healers to ensure your health. 8 men of different ages vanish with you, swearing on their lives to do everything possible for you to open your eyes again.

Winters turned into warm seasons, and autumn leaves were waning. Two whole years quickly go by before your consciousness returns. The world is different. You understand through your guardians that life passed with you as a ghostly presence, a bedridden legend they fought all this time to preserve.

No one mentions what happened to you, though. No one names him.

To everyone’s surprise, you don’t really ask about the village; you don’t ask about your birthplace and your home. You don’t ask... about him.

Your healers discover you memory was damaged after exhaustive examinations beyond your comprehension. Theories why this happened are various in your little home; some argue the loss of blood hurt your brain, others believe the trauma of that betrayal forced you to block it all out, and there are those who think maybe you ignored the past on purpose.

Still, there is an unspoken rule forbidding the mention of what happened, of the village, of those two brothers. After experiencing hell, what would be the benefit of forcibly bringing you back to that horrible past? In this remote place, you have the chance to start from scratch, and your rescuers believe it is the least you deserve.

Little by little, you gradually learn everything all over again. Your own name, your age, information about those around you. You ask with animosity about everything you don’t understand, and the only thing there is reluctance to answer is when you want to know about who you were before... this.

Healers get the problem off their shoulders, rushing you to ask such questions to the older people. They shoo you out of their humble hut with nervousness and red faces, panic in their eyes.

Seniors sigh as they stare into nothingness, sadness and nostalgia, painting their countenances with something you cannot grasp. Some even drop a couple of tears to the rhythm of a depressing whisper, “oh poor child...”

The scene makes you feel so guilty you end up consoling them, assuring it’ s not a big deal and you don’t need to be told. That your life in this small place with them is all you need to be happy, past or no past.

Regardless, it is the scar monstrously painting your stomach which makes you uneasy. While tracing the edges of that sensitive skin with your fingertips, you feel its reason for existence is on the tip of your tongue. As if reminders of what happened to you are lingering there, buried in your head, but creeping closer to your memory every time you look at your navel.

What happened? What terrible thing could have left such an enormous mark on your skin, but not in your head?

It’s frustrating.

Eventually, curiosity to explore beyond your own narrow world peaks. It’s quite natural, considering four older men and four medicine buffs rarely make for an interesting group of company. Older men drink tea most of the day, when they’re not napping in the sun, of course. The rest read rigorously and debate among themselves about their newly gained knowledge.

Getting permission is a complicated task. They are terribly afraid of your departure, scared of your fate, frightened of what dangers you might encounter.

But how to keep you there forever, when you have seen the vivid movement the closest town has?

Perhaps it was your rescuers’ mistake for allowing you to go exploring within the boundaries they considered safe, yet you inevitably discovered such a place, so close and yet so far away, so full of people and... life. Persons of all ages walking from one side to the other, food you never saw before displayed in various stalls, children playing with each other, unaware of the surrounding universe. Everything looks completely natural, as if folks are used to this kind of lifestyle since long ago, and you wonder if you ever lived in a similar environment.

Just what hides in your past?

After insistence and great pleas against the overprotection imparted on you, they understand it is simply hopeless to make you give up your idea unless they expose all those shocking events, unless they explain from what kind of danger it is necessary for you to hide, from whom it is imperative you escape.

No one knew anymore about that demon after his disappearance the same day, and it is uncertain where he is. Whether he is hiding or far from your current home, it is unknown to anyone, and it would invoke bad luck if your guardians expected you to meet him face to face once you get away from them.

Preparation of weeks and many directions, you finally depart from your unnoticed hideout in the world, leaving behind anxious seniors and worried healers.

It was agreed you could explore for a couple of months, but your eventual return is a binding closure on the deal you reluctantly struck. Each new destination brings with it new discoveries, tastes, experiences. You always find charitable souls willing to help when you are short of food, water or shelter, people who offer to give directions when you get disoriented, people who share stories with you on lonely, nostalgic nights.

With each step you take in the outside world, less you understand what your guardians are afraid of. Everyone is well meaning, and no one seeks to take advantage of your innocence. It is incomprehensible why this was denied to you for so long, and every time you think of your precious little home, an emptiness grows in your heart.

Weeks slowly pass, and having experienced so much in such a short time, you find the need to recount it to those you consider your family. As initially agreed, it may be time to return, to prove the world is not as terrible as they feared.

A few miles from homeland, just as you feel you are walking the grounds of your family again, you stop at a stream to get a drink of water, determined not to slow down until you reach your destination. It is too much of a thrill to witness those 8 insane people bickering and arguing. You absentmindedly smile as you rinse your face.

In your distraction, you cannot hear footsteps approaching at your back. It’s not like you would have detected them if you were paying attention either, for the person stalking you is deliberately careful, calculating.

Turning, your face affects directly into a solid mass of muscle, sending you tumbling down the riverbank again. Any woman would have assumed the worst when connecting glances with a man who invades her personal space unannounced, but from your mouth comes a concerned “Are you okay?”

The man, who is watching you as if a ghost were sitting next to you in the water and you were unaware of it, bleeds. Profusely, indeed. Both of his hands are deeply cut, distinct wounds on his palms dripping thickly to the ground.

There is no answer to your question, and the man’s countenance is difficult to decipher. His eyes glow a red which fades too quickly to analyze, his complexion is completely pale and unhealthy, his hair points in all directions, forming a long brown tangle which you deduce has not been combed for some time. For moments, it is as if there are words trying to pierce his lips, but the stupor of the individual continues.

“Your hands... we really should take care of them, shouldn’t we? Aiya, let this humble one help you heal.”

There is no reaction as you stand up and take him by the arm, guiding him to a large rock away from the water and helping him to sit up. His gaze is still completely fixed on your face, searching for something you’ re oblivious to. His mouth opens and closes rapidly, agitated breaths accompanied by sounds resembling syllables.

“Look at this mess alone... sir, you should be cautious walking along the bed of these waters. They are treacherous, hm?”

Ripping off one of your sleeves, previously dampened when you fell into the water, you use the cloth to clean his wounds. There’s not much you can do here, out in the open and in these conditions, but judging by the man’s appearance, he was probably recently attacked. When you mention your little home a few miles away, the man doesn’t refuse or accept.  

Still, when you head back to the road, you find the fellow following you from behind, head down and staring at the ground. In his hands he tightly clenches the cloth of your sleeve, and blood stains the fabric completely at this point. You talk about the healers in your place, and how they can help him get better, but no matter how much you try, the man never responds. You ponder whether, perhaps, the situation he experienced before he ran into you may have been intense, and you attribute his perturbation to that.

After walking without pause all afternoon, your silent companion always keeping your own pace, your destination appears in front of you. From afar, you can see the elders sitting on the engawa of their cottage, sharing tea and quietly waiting for dusk. All is silent, and your announcement of arrival is the only thing disturbing the atmosphere.

Your arms wave vigorously to catch the attention of those you regard as family, a splendorous smile planted on your face, walking at an increased speed to catch up with them. An extended curtsey bow is given before them, and only after raising your head you dare to give them all a group hug, false formality forgotten as much as your guest.

The man slowly approaches this scene and analyzes the faces of those present as the embrace takes place. Had you not been turning your back on him, you may have noticed the change in his countenance, coldness creeping over his features from one moment to the next. None of the elders noticed his noiseless presence, not even having sensed it to begin with, and it is not until one of them finishes smiling and opens his eyes to come face to face with their worst fear.

Suddenly the hug is interrupted when this old man lets out a shriek, trying to back away and losing his balance. You follow his line of sight while turning, and find that innocent-looking stranger again, disoriented. There are screams all around you. Seniors are horrified and collapse on the floor next to each other, completely surrendered to the gaze of the demon fixed on them.

“Don’t behave like that! It would appear it wasn’t you guys who taught me manners... I’m so sorry, sir, they’re not used to dealing with travelers, let alone wounded ones... if you’d be so kind as to follow me?”

Throwing a withering glance at the group of elders, you direct your guest to the house the healers occupy. True, your little family is not used to encountering men in the state this very one is in, but you never expected such an exaggeration. A bit of unkempt hair and blood, pale skin, and they’re all screaming on the floor?

The reaction of the healers is not much different, and after reprimanding them for behaving so shamefully, you get them to treat the man’s hands. Leaving them alone so as not to disturb the setting, you make your way to the third and final cottage, your own. Since the other houses occupy four people each, it would be problematic to ask them to accommodate your own guest, and you take your time assembling an extra bed, improvising with blankets.

Nighttime is delightfully quiet, and as the door opens without warning, you greet the individual with a smile. Elders have taken the trouble to bring food for both you and him, announcing neither they nor the healers were in the mood to share dinner together.

The man’s hands are bandaged, his palms completely covered, and his thumbs trapped in the wrappings. He looks uncomfortable, and it shows in his inability to do anything on his own. His chopsticks are impossible to hold as he kneels on the floor and tries to eat, and after many urgings from you, he nods silently and almost imperceptibly, allowing you to help him.

“You see... you’re here, eating my food, under my roof, safe and comfortable... and I still don’t know your name...”

Teasing is imminent in your voice, hoping to relax him, if only a little. As he takes another bite and chews, his eyes are fixed on the table, like trying to hide from your presence.

After analyzing the end of your day alongside this presence, you assessed this man must be terribly shy, perhaps someone properly introverted. Still, observing his features, you get a strange familiarity, a feeling making you let your guard down and relax in front of him. A secret knocking at the door of your mind, demanding to burst in front of you but being invisible at the same time.

“... Uchiha...”

Without expecting an answer anymore, after several minutes, his voice surprises you. It sounds like that of someone who rarely uses it, raspy and rusty, as if it had been forgotten long ago, and not even the man himself remembers its ringing.

“Um?”

“Lord Uchiha...”

His name, you realize. Formal, a title.

Lord Uchiha continues in the same position, just like his words had been an illusion. It is impossible to keep giving him food, his attitude surly and refusing, and you wonder if he plans to spend the entire night in the same position if you allow him to.

Demandingly, you get him up and offer him your bed for the night.

He tries to take the spot you set up on the floor, and displays physical strength far beyond what you thought he had. There are firm muscles hiding under his stained white tunic, and they flex slightly every time he tries to change the course you both walk. He is probably holding back, you realize, for the way his forearm tenses. The stubbornness of this individual… as if he were someone unaccustomed to taking orders, leading rather than listening. Either way, he ends up tucked inside your room, buried under sheets and quilts so he doesn’t get cold.

You find your own resting place after closing the door and leaving your guest. There is not much room inside your small home, and yet, the greatest comforts are offered to those who really need them.

That night, a fearsome nightmare assaults your dreams. A pitch-black claw pierces your stomach from both sides, long nails tearing through skin and tissue like cloth. Blood pools at your feet, solidifying and making escape impossible. You feel your lips move in a choked scream, and a single word escapes your throat along with another red waterfall.

“... Indra...”

[the-night-writer1]

maybe some mei X shan?

Oh ye some light dragon)

It was a Tuesday afternoon, mk hadn't become Wukong's successor yet. That wasn't for another three days. His brother was particularly in bad mood that Mk, Tang and Pigsy just couldn't seem to pull him out of.

It was one of those days were Shanyao was in the very depths of his depression and they all knew it. He never ask them for help when he had days like this. Trying not to be the burden he thought he was. That fake smile shined extra clear, trying to convey happiness. A bitter lie.

Pigsy tried to give Shan the day off but Shan refused. He took out even more orders, Tang tried to lure him into at least taking a nap but that didn't work either. Mk swallowed air as he pulled out his phone and texted Mei. She might be able to do something.

[LittleSun56: hey Mei?]

[Dragongirl98: what's up Mk?]

[LittleSun56: we need help Shanyao having a bad depression episode]

[Dragongirl98: oh no I'll be right over! I think I know how to cheer him up!]

[LittleSun56: thanks Mei]

Mei ran down hallway and whistled for her bike. Jumping on her bike when it appeared. As she drove down the city street, Mei was trying to psych herself up. How could she have missed Shanyao's feelings for her?

She should have noticed! He's always willing do stuff for her without anything in return like repair her bike for free. There was the time he used his own money to get her a ton of extras of her favorite jacket without being asked. Just the other day he added an update to her bike!

Mei felt so stupid for not realizing it sooner! She liked Shan too but she thought before last night that he wasn't interested. If she hadn't found his diary accidentally left in her bike's storage room she never would have known! Yeah she shouldn't have read Shanyao's private thoughts like that but it was wide open. Plus she thought it was notes on her bike.

Mei could still remember the words that gave her the realization that Shanyao liked her. The whole page playing on repeat in her memory as she drove.

"Day 850, I find myself debating on spending my entire day off working on her bike. I have other things I need to get done like make new stools for the bar and fixed Mk's bed frame but it's her. She doesn't trust just anyone with fixing or upgrading her bike. She wouldn't ask if she could fix it herself and I would maybe get some time with her to myself.

I love my brother dearly but the way I get sidelined whenever the three of us hang out upsets me. I know I know I'm being rude to him just getting upset. I'm burden on both of them when we hangout anyway. It's not like I even have a chance with her. She's perfect from the she brings energy into a room, to the way her smile just warms my heart. Her eyes shine nothing else I've ever seen. I can't put it in to words but she's absolutely perfect in every way. She deserves someone who's energy she can bounce off and that's not my own as much as I wish it was. However I'm starting to ramble I'm going to go fix her bike. I'll do that other stuff my next day off."

He was totally underselling himself! She had to make this right, especially since he was having a bad day. She was going to uh...um what she going to do? Maybe she should ask him out or just admit her own feelings? FUCK she had to think of something she'd be at noodle shot in like 5 minutes!

Focus Mei you got this! She thought as she pulled up to the noodle shop. She was just in time too Shanyao was about to make another delivery. Mk was right he was having a bad day. Poor Shanyao.

"Hey Shanny wait!" Mei said as she quickly hopped off bike and booked it to his side as he put the delivery on the back of his bike. He turned to her and gestured like he always did to where Mk was. He was surprised when she grabbed his hand.

"Mei are you okay did something happen- mph!"Shanyao said with concern before he was cut off by the sudden kiss she gave him. He kissed her back of course. They were just kind of there passionately kissing before Mk called them out.

"hey you're going to make do it in Shanyao's room!" He teased as they broke apart and turned red,"Finally you two got together! I thought I'd be 80 before you guys kissed"

-----

Mei woke up next to Shanyao as they traveled in the ship to find this weapon they needed to defeat LBD. Shan was so cold and she couldn't figure out why. He was still breathing but something had happened to him.

Some of his veins were glowing little blue and Mei could see his breath while he slept. She unbuttoned his pajama shirt and cover her mouth when she saw his chest.

The middle of his chest was a dark bluish purple bruise. In the center was a white dot with broke off into the ice blue veins that went all the way to just before wrist. Who did this to him?

Who made Shanyao's body so cold? She grabbed her phone and took a picture of Shanyao's chest. She'd show it to the others in the morning. Mei rebuttoned his shirt and laid on his chest.

[escape-from-reality-fics]

Blankets and Movies ❋ Kim Tae Hyung

↳ Pairing: Kim Tae Hyung (V)/Reader

↳ Word Count: 2,554 

⁙ Summary: Taehyung wrapping a blanket around Y/N when they are sitting on the couch and watching a show/movie after she has a bad day and confides in him

⚠️ Warnings: Contains minor mentions of self esteem issues/depression. Please do not read if you are triggered by any of these!

Today just wasn't your day. Nothing particularly wrong had happened thankfully; however, you just woke up in a horrible mood and couldn't seem to shake it. Your boyfriend Taehyung hadn't given you a goodbye kiss, and you were upset. You being upset led to you snapping over the phone at your best friend, Kenzie. Which then led to a small fight, Kenzie refusing to talk to you.  

Then, at work, your computer short-circuited and you had lost the 2-hour long progress you had made. When your lunch break came around, you ended up overcooking your lasagna in the work microwave, burning it beyond edibility. Coming home from work was no small feat, either. You had gotten stuck in a traffic jam for close to 2 hours.

Now here you were, finally home. Starving, cranky, and sleepy. You couldn't decide between wanting to eat a whole box of cereal or flopping in your bed and sleeping until you were old and wrinkly. After a brief moment of hesitation, you decide just to skip eating for now and instead have a nap, praying it would make a little bit of your lousy mood dissipate.

You shed your work clothes quickly, tossing them across the room and narrowly missing the clothes hamper. Waving it off, you promptly threw on one of Taehyung's shirts, practically diving into your shared bed and curling up under the plush duvet. Your hand blindly reached out in the bedroom's darkness, patting the bed around you until you found what you needed. Feeling the cool fabric under your fingertips, you snatched up the TaTa plushie, snuggling it close to your face and inhaling Taehyung's scent.

As you laid there, the day's events raged around your head like a tsunami. You couldn't help but let out a little whimper as you remembered everything terrible that had gone wrong. Bringing a hand up to rub at your eyes, you let out a pitiful sniffle. You were too overwhelmed lately, with work and stress and deadlines. However, you felt you couldn't confide in Taehyung. With his packed schedule and own stress, you wouldn't dare burden him with your meaningless problems.

So you did what you usually do, and cried it out as you clutched onto the TaTa plushie for dear life, burrowed under your nest of blankets. You let everything out, your poor pillow getting soaked with salty tears. After a while, your tears ran out, tear tracks sticky on your cheeks. Rolling over, you grabbed your phone off the nightstand, squinting as the bright light assaulted your eyes. It was almost time for Taehyung and the rest of the guys to get home. Throwing your phone down beside you, you tug the duvet up around your chin, shutting your eyes and letting yourself slip into a floating dream.

At this point, BTS was on the way back to the dorm after a day filled with photo shoots and dance practices. Everyone was sore and tired, ready to go home and finally relax for a couple of days. Taehyung groaned softly to himself as he stretched his neck, seated in the large van that was taking them home. He especially couldn't wait to get back and cuddle you. He knew you hadn't had the best wake-up this morning and felt extremely bad for leaving you without your usual morning kiss. He planned to cuddle with you as soon as he got back to the dorm.

"What are we gonna eat for dinner, Jin Hyung?" Jungkook asked as he yawned, tired from the early morning start they had. Everyone was in some state of sleep or alertness, ready to get back to the dorm to shower and eat. Some of the boys perked up at Jungkook's question, wondering the same thing but too tired to voice it.

"We might just order something. I'm too tired to cook," Jin responds from his seat at the front of the van, eyes still shut as he tries to rest. They all agree with his idea and start to argue over what food to order. Taehyung stays quiet as he stares out the window, ready to get home and cuddle with you.

After a short amount of time, the van finally pulled up to their apartment building, a gorgeous high rise looking out over the city. They arrived in the parking garage, members clambering out of the van as it finally parked. Taehyung noticed your car parked in its usual parking spot, meaning that you were home. He was pushed to get up to the apartment faster, some of the other boys protesting the fast pace, trying to catch up with him.

"Yah, Taehyung, slow down! Why are you in a rush?" Hoseok called as he tried to catch up to his younger band mate, the rest of the boys behind him. Taehyung turned around quickly and smiled his big boxy smile, radiating happiness.

"Hyung (Y/N) is home! I really can't wait to see her, so we have to hurry," Taehyung calls to them as he proceeds to make it to the elevator, impatiently pushing the button to call it to their floor. The rest of the boys finally catch up, some huffing as they try to catch their breath. The elevator finally arrives, and Taehyung waits impatiently for the rest of the members to clamber on as well, before pressing the button for their floor.

It takes less than 20 seconds to get to their floor, but for Taehyung, it feels like a lifetime. When they finally get to their stop, he is the first one out, rushing to the door of their apartment, hastily unlocking it with his key and stepping inside.

"Jeez Tae, you don't have to rush. (Y/N) is still going to be here even if we took an hour," Jimin comments, entering the apartment behind Taehyung, exchanging his shoes for slippers. Taehyung scowls a bit at Jimin's comment but takes off his shoes and slides on his slippers, instantly making a beeline for his room where he knew you would be. He approaches his room and opens the door, expecting you to be sitting in bed reading or watching some crazy theory video on Youtube. However, he was shocked when he saw the outline of your body underneath the bed's comforter, face buried in your pillow. Taehyung frowns to himself, already realizing that you weren't doing that well. He starts to make his way towards the bed but freezes when you groan and roll over, blinking at the soft light streaming in from the hallway.

"Tae? Is that you?" You slur as you try to blink the sleep out of your eyes, sitting up in bed and brushing your wild hair out of your face. Taehyung approaches the bed and sits down next to you, gently kissing your head and smiling.

"Hey, baby. How was your day today?" Taehyung asks as you snuggle into his arms, welcoming his embrace. He could feel you stiffen in his arms, the question bothering you. He was worried because he knew you weren't one to tell anyone about your worries or troubles.

"Babe? Did something happen?" He asks as you pull away from his arms, your gaze cast downwards. You don't answer for a minute or two; the room cloaked in awkward silence. When you looked back up at him, your eyes were glazed with tears and your bottom lip was trembling, a telltale sign that you were on the verge of a breakdown.

"Tae… It was so hard," You sobbed out, shoulders shaking with each trembling breath you took. Taehyung could feel his heart breaking, realizing that this wasn't just from events that happened today.

"Oh, sweetheart," he breathed as he pulled you back into his arms, laying you both down on the comfy bed. You snuggled into his chest, your salty tears soaking his expensive shirt, but he didn't care. He just wanted to comfort you.

"Tell me what happened, okay? Just let it all out."

The dam broke as you started talking (well sobbing) about everything that happened that day and then proceeded also to tell Taehyung about your earlier worries. His grip tightened on you as he gently rubbed your back to console you, occasionally planting a kiss on your head.

By the time you had finished your emotional rant, your chest felt lighter, and your mind felt clearer. Sitting up in the bed, you pulled away from Taehyung's grip and wiped your eyes, letting out a watery laugh.

"Sorry for springing this all on you, Tae. I didn't want to be dramatic," you admitted, watching as Taehyung sat up as well, a frown marring his handsome face.

"Baby, I want you to tell me these things. I want to know when you're feeling upset or insecure or angry. I want to hear about your day, whether it's good or bad. Don't hold back anymore, please," he pleaded, grabbing your face in his large hands and making you look him in the eyes.

"Okay, Tae," you forced out as he squished your cheeks lovingly. Taehyung gave you a radiant smile and brought your face close to his, giving you a deep, loving kiss. It lasted for all of 10 seconds before your stomach rumbled, breaking the warm atmosphere.

"Are you hungry, or are you hiding a bear in your stomach?" Taehyung jokingly asked,  watching as your face turned scarlet with embarrassment. You sputtered out an apology as Taehyung laughed his deep laugh, standing up and bringing you with him.

"Come on love, let's get some food," Taehyung says as you both leave your shared room, your eyes squinting against the brightness of the hallway. You both end up traveling to the living room, finding that most of the group was lounging around.

"Hey (Y/N), how was work today?" Hoseok asks as he notices your and Taehyung's arrival. The rest of the boys look up and say their greetings; you give a small nod and wave in return.

"Uh, it was… eventful, to say the least," you scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. Hoseok takes the hint, not pushing any further. Taehyung takes this chance to speak up, looking to Jin, who was reading in the armchair.

"Hyung, are we going to order food soon? (Y/N) sounds like she hasn't eaten in 84 years," Taehyung asks him as the others laugh when your stomach rumbles, creating perfect timing.

"Well, we can always order from the chicken place around the corner? They're pretty fast and have good food," Jin suggests as Namjoon already pulls up the delivery service on his phone. Everyone quickly shouts what they want, and they order.  

"Yah Jungkook scooch over you lump," Taehyung scolds as he notices the maknae taking one whole couch. Jungkook rolls his eyes but ends up sliding over to the one side, giving you and Taehyung enough room to sit down and snuggle.

You quietly chat with Jungkook, who was on your right, talking about the newest Overwatch update. After about 20 minutes of quiet chatter with Jungkook, Yoongi and Jimin occasionally joining, the food arrives.

"Alright, you heathens if I see anyone drop any of this on the floor or the furniture I am never letting you guys taste my cooking ever again," Jin threatens as he passes out the containers of fried chicken, everyone sitting around the coffee table and digging in.

"Yes, Jin Oppa," you smile as you grab a piece of chicken, popping it into your mouth. Jin smiles at you, always appreciating your dedication to cleanliness.

The chicken gets consumed relatively quickly; everyone quiets apart from the TV playing the newest Running Man episode. Jimin and Hoseok clean up the boxes, and everyone agrees to a movie before heading to bed.

Two movies get debated, Spirited Away or Parasite, and with a 5 to 3 vote, Spirited Away is chosen. You can feel yourself becoming sleepy again, your belly full and sated.

"Sweetheart, if you want to go to bed, you can," Taehyung whispers in your ear as he notices you jolt awake from where you were drifting off. You grumble something back at him, although he can't make out what you said, curling into his body for warmth.

"Hyung, can you pass me that blanket behind you?" He whispers to Yoongi, nodding at the fluffy throw blanket on the back of his loveseat. Yoongi blinks and throws it Taehyung's way, Taehyung giving him an unamused look when he gets smacked in the face with it.

You give an appreciative hum when Taehyung wraps the blanket around the two of you, providing more comfort. It takes less than a minute to fall asleep, the white noise of the movie helps.

Taehyung smiles down at your sleeping face, pressing a quick kiss to your temple and holding you closer to him. He looks up as he hears a quiet camera click, seeing all of his band mates and brothers looking towards the two of you with big smiles.

"You guys love each other, huh?" Jimin asks with a heartwarming smile. Taehyung glances back down at you, noting your peaceful expression and steady breathing.

"I love her more than I love living itself, Hyung. She was so upset today and felt like she couldn't tell me because of how busy we are with the comeback preparations," Taehyung murmured, frowning a bit as he remembered your earlier conversation.

"You know how (Y/N) is like Tae, even before the two of you started dating she was always so worried about causing stress to us just by being our friend," Hoseok reminds him, seeing how upset the younger was by how reserved you were with him.

"I know Hyung. I just want her to open up more. I love her so much, and I want her to be happy," Taehyung said, readjusting his grip on you as you wiggled into a more comfortable position.

"She is happy with you, Tae. Everyone can see that. You both just have to work on this moving forward. It's all going to be okay," Namjoon advises him, his wise words striking a chord in Taehyung.

"You're right, Hyung."

"I know I am. Anyways I think it's bedtime for everyone, it's getting late, and we have more things to do tomorrow," Namjoon states, everyone, groaning and stumbling off to their rooms.

"I'm gonna take (Y/N) to bed, I'll see you in the morning Hyungs," Taehyung whispers, lifting you with ease and tucking the blanket back around your sleeping body.

He enters your shared bedroom, gently tucking you into the bed as you rolled over and grumbled, kicking your legs a bit. Taehyung giggles, changing quickly into PJs before he slips into bed next to you, pulling the blankets up around you both.

"Hnnng? Tae?" You mumble as you wake up a bit from your sleep. Taehyung shushed you, gently stroking your hair to put you back to sleep.

"Go to sleep, baby. I love you so much," Taehyung whispers into the quiet of the night. You settle down and start to feel your eyes shut again.

"I love you too, Tae, so much."

What had started as a bad day had become a good one, Taehyung always brightening up your life. You wouldn't have it any other way.

[sinisterlyhan]

01. lee minho / 9486 words

fwb!minho, oral (f & m receiving), unprotexted sex, female reader, slight angst and fluff, romance, lots of kissing, mc being kind of a brat, minho being kinda dominant 

a/n: ahh, i finally wrote for minho! i hope this is good ;;

the thee bags of sugar you poured into your cup of hot coffee have probably been completely dissolved by now, considering the obsessive way you kept stirring the liquid with your teaspoon and not actually drinking it.

keeping your eyes out the glass window by the coffee booth, you allowed your mind to drift off to a familiarly foreign place as you mindlessly watched the passersby.

your lashes fluttered along with each shift of your eyes, your gaze jumping from one insignificant person to another as you accessed the idea that people are literally everywhere around you—annoying kids, depressed students, tired parents, and the slow folks.

the concept, more than often, flies past you on a daily. therefore, when you sit down and truly acknowledge the number of people you brush past every day, it is quite a staggering fact.

but what’s more bewildering than that, though, was the fact that out of all these people you could meet and think about, the only person who has ever really been on your mind was lee minho—a nice classmate, a good friend, and a few quick fucks.

a few. you heaved a lonesome sigh and replaced it with a bitter huff of laughter.

you wished it was only a few quick fucks. you should have stopped after a few of them and you should have never picked your hand up and sealed his ‘fuck buddy?’ deal with a firm handshake. but you were lonely back then, dry and lonely.

you had wanted love, genuine or not, and minho’s seductive kisses down your body were the closest thing you could get to feeling appreciated, so you made the biggest mistake of agreeing to be friends with benefits with him.

it has been half a year since you two established the relationship; the sex was frequent during the first few weeks, and then the passionate nights started to space out a little until you two spent more time with plans to hang out than to fuck each other.

your immature mind hadn’t been smart enough to fathom the idea of you ever falling in love with somebody like minho, because you knew you weren’t the type to blatantly fall for someone out of your league. it was the kick that got your to seal the contract.

but alas, minho has been more than irresistible the past few months.

he wasn’t just a fuck buddy, he has never been just that from the start of it all. nothing about your new relationship was awkward despite you two being silent classmates for so long until a house party came and messed it all up. and unlike what you expected, he never tried to distance himself to keep that sole status.

he wasn’t aloof, nor did he act like a stranger. minho was a good friend, a good classmate, and a good fuck if you may say so.

he has helped you with your classes numerous times; printing assignments last minute for you in the library because you were too sleepy to do so last night, scanning his thorough notes for you unprompted because he noticed you struggling during class, reading through your materials out of his class time just so he could further explain something to you.

he’s also been the best emotional support you’ve had; he has never complained when you unreasonably snapped at him because of too much stress, he puts up with your constant overthinking and temper tantrums, and he gets you snacks on his own grocery run because he thought you might get some cravings sometime during the day.

and, of course, the sex has never once been dull ever since you met him, but it was in a lot of the little things he does that makes your heart ache the most; it was him always making sure you’re okay, and him constantly giving you praises. how he loves to make eye contact and hold your hands. how he knows exactly when to be soft and when to be hard.

when did he stop being just minho to you, you haven’t the faintest idea. but your feelings for him have changed drastically over these amazing months, and it became your downfall because he has not contacted you for weeks.

just complete radio silence, nothing, gone.

“i’m telling you he likes you, okay?”

you rolled your eyes as you snapped out of your trance. turning your head to look at jisung, you pursed your lips and shrugged in bland disbelief. “shut up.“

“no, you shut up and listen to me,” he leaned forward on his seat, his eyes glaring because he was sick and tired of being ignored by both of his friends. but now he’s got a fifty-fifty chance of being a matchmaker, so he planned to go all out. “i have known minho for as long as my fat baby legs can waddle to the sandbox in the park, okay. and not once have i seen him run away like this.”

“this, this thing that he is doing?” his finger excitedly jammed against the surface of the table as he stared at you pointedly, emphasizing his words with each jut of his jaw. “this is serious, and what serious thing can he be afraid of?“

you waited for him to speak, but the silence he purposefully left out was urging to be filled in. you looked away, baffled, and you scrambled your mind to think of something to say.

“i don’t know? faili–“

“wrong!”

“a dise–“

“terrible answer!”

“ma–“

“zero points for yo–ow!”

“knock it off, jisung!” you scolded with annoyance after you flicked his forehead with your fingers, shoving his head back to the cushion of the booth seat. “i know what you want me to say… i just won’t say it.”

“he loves you, (name),” jisung said, hiding every bit of uncertainty behind his persuasive facade—his presentation face, as he calls it. “i really think he does.”

and he wasn’t lying. jisung gave the situation a fair share of analyzing, and he concluded with the fact that minho might just have fallen in love with you. because one thing he knew about minho was that while he is kind, he is not nice.

there is a distinctive difference; kindness is selective, it is earned, it is given by choice. nice is blind, it is a mindless thought, a moral conscious.

anything that goes between minho and his goal, or his dignity, or some dramatic factors as such, minho will not hesitate to lash out. he is kind, not nice.

and you—you’ve been plucking the kindness out of him like he was a river that could never run dry.

disrupting his study schedule to tutor you? ditching his long-term friends to keep you company? apologizing first and being the bigger person in petty arguments?

minho was good to you when he didn’t have to, and he still was kind to you when he didn’t want to. he wanted to keep you happy, he gets the thrill of being able to take care of you, and you can feel comfortable around him.

jisung would even go so far to say minho was head over heels for you now, with his heart bleeding dry for your sake. and he’s running away from it because the concept, the feeling was foreign to him.

“just go to his house, find him. he probably misses you like crazy,” he urged tentatively. “talk it out, or fuck it out if that’s what you guys are used to.”

“do you think it’s that easy? like i can just go up to his home and kiss him?“ you asked, exasperated that jisung didn’t seem to understand the limitation of your tolerance for humiliation and appearing desperate to other people.

“sure, why not! i’d totally do that if i were you!” he boasted, clapping his fist to his chest as he huffed through his nose. “it’s not like he isn’t jerking off to the thought of you anyway! it’s either that or he’s crying himself to sleep at night!”

“that’s…” your voice awkwardly trailed off.

“too much?”

“no, no, just…” you hummed with a slight shake of your head, unable to break through his innocent gaze and not sure how to tell him you missed seeing minho in his naked glory. so instead, you chose to back down. “nothing.”

you blinked, still processing his previous words in your head as you finally brought your coffee up to your mouth to take a short sip.

the sugary taste was barely seeping into the bitterness of your coffee, the last three bags of sugar you added having done nothing to help you savor the taste. and you thought about how minho would probably switch his drink with you or offer to order you a new one if he was here.

jisung watched as you put down your cup and reached for another bag of sugar. he laughed, shifting his legs and leaning against the back of the booth. “the sugar is bad for you.”

“i know,” you muttered as you shook the bag and let the content spill all over your drink.

jisung watched with nonchalance as you picked up your metal spoon and started stirring your coffee again. and he didn’t say a single word.

minho pushed his glasses perched upon the bridge of his nose, and he continued with his note-taking as his eyes focused on the massive text displayed on his laptop screen.

it was all he has done this day. right after morning classes, he headed out for lunch by himself and simply went home. he tried to ignore the stubborn unfamiliarity of spending most of his time alone, hoping the ghost of your voice would eventually stop haunting his heavy steps into the local boba shop, or even just to the edge of his bed when he decided to take a short nap.

he woke up alone, dazed and annoyed. but he was mostly tired; tired of being alone when he knew you were a call away, tired of drowning in chosen solidarity because he wasn’t brave enough to confront his feelings, tired of being scared that you wouldn’t return the affection his heart discreetly held for you.

it was very unlike him, and the change was frustrating. minho never thought himself to succumb to romance yet here he was, making bad decisions and pushing you away when all he wanted was to hold your body close.

the uneven grip on his pen caused him a sudden scrape across the lined-paper. he glanced down the rogue tweak of the letter 'r’ and he clicked his tongue. dropping the pen, he rummaged through his crowded pencil case for a white-out, just in time as the doorbell to his apartment rang.

he furrowed his brows as he perked up, his head turning to look behind his shoulder at the door. discarding the matter at hand, he stood up and made his way to the front door, where he sung the door open and immediately revealed you standing before him.

“hi,” you breathed out when you met eyes with him, your gaze hardening slightly in sudden timidity.

minho gave you a quick scan before he nodded. he, too, feeling rather awkward at what felt like a confrontation to him. “hey.“

“can i come in, or are you going to keep shutting me out?” you laughed meekly, pointing into his apartment and letting your eyes move away from him briefly before returning to his face. “i’m already here anyway, you might as well.”

“i… yeah, sure, come in,” he said, taking a step aside as he opened the door for you. he watched you head inside, kicking your shoes off and shoving them to the side. he eyed the plastic cup in your hand, and he attempted to make light conversation out of it. “you got coffee?”

“oh, yeah. i was hanging out with jisung just then,” you said, turning to face him. you stuck your hand out, giving him the cup. “do you wanna try some?”

“no, i’m good.” he waved his hand.

you looked at him, a faint pout forming on your face before you shrugged and brought the straw up to your mouth. “okay then, it’s probably better for you anyway,” you sipped the coffee, “i dumped like… six bags of sugar in it.”

the change of facial expressions on his face was priceless. he went from processing your words in confusion, then his eyes widened in surprise, and at last his brows furrowed in dismay that you were still sipping the drink like you didn’t just turn it into a liquefied candy cane.

“okay, no, i’m confiscating it,” he said after allowing you a few more obnoxious sip. he grabbed the cup away from you and held it out of your reach, ignoring your continuous protest. “do you know how unhealthy that is?”

“yes, but it’s sweet!“ you complained.

“it’s sweet until you get type-two diabetes.” He rolled his eyes, turning around and heading over to the fridge located in the open area where the kitchen was. “especially when you don’t just drink one cup of coffee every other week, you drink it several times a week, which can toll up to a lot of sugar intake and i am not about to let you run around self-sabotaging your health–”

he stopped talking when he turned away from the fridge and immediately saw you standing before him. the proximity of your faces was a little too close for his liking—not his subconscious, just his stubbornness—and he didn’t know what to do when he was confronted with it so abruptly.

he hasn’t seen you in some time, which gave him no opportunity to create such intimacy. and even though he had missed being able to feel comfortable with you being close, he suddenly didn’t know what to do. he would love to keep his emotions in check, and he would love to not spill secrets he had no intention to tell.

you glanced down to his lips and automatically huffed. jisung’s words flew back into your mind then, telling you to just kiss him now that you’ve made a mistake of stepping into his personal bubble. it wasn’t like minho was actively pushing you out anyway. you could just try, and if it doesn’t work out in your favor, you could just play it off.

a gasp left his chest when you suddenly leaned in and kissed him. your hands went up to cup his jaw, bringing him closer to you when you felt him starting to reciprocate the kiss. you have longed to do this for so long, sometimes it felt like you’d forget the way his lips feel if you go without it for one more day.

the nervousness within was slowly started to vanish, but part of your brain registered how minho wasn’t kissing you with the same vigor he used to whenever you two share a kiss. it felt out of place to feel his mouth move so slowly against your own, and it was not in a harmonious way.

his lips slacked against yours because his brain wasn’t functioning well. minho has missed you more than ever and this—this was practically a dream come true! he was finally kissing you again, and he wanted nothing more than to keep going, to put roam his hands all over you again.

but he couldn’t. he couldn’t allow himself more depths to fall for you, he couldn’t keep digging his own grave with uncertainty and doubt.

he would rather guarantee he can still be friends with you after sorting out his feelings, than risk you not returning his affection and jeopardizing your comfortable relationship.

“w–wait, (name)–stop–” he pulled away from you, taking in a breath of fresh air when his lips detached from yours. the air was eerily cold, he didn’t like it at all.

your hands dropped from his face, your heart sinking to your stomach the same way. that was enough indication—him pushing you off pretty much told you everything you needed to know about how he felt, and god, you felt so conflicted at the discovery.

you were mad at yourself for letting him allow so much control over you. the sheer anger that bubbled in your chest when you felt tears brimming at the back of your eyes was immeasurable. you warned yourself about this, you warned yourself about him, yet you still fell. and now you felt weak and hopeless because he didn’t love you back.

you also felt wronged somehow. the fact that minho has been such a kind friend to you has given you the false assumption that he would at least give you an explanation. if he didn’t want to keep the sexual relationship, he should have just been truthful to you instead of trying to ghost you for weeks and leaving you to your lonely thoughts.

but you wouldn’t have cared if you didn’t like him. him ignoring you wouldn’t have been a problem if you didn’t fall for him.

“what is your fucking problem, minho?” you asked, your anger boiling up. but despite that, your voice was more leveled than ever, as if you were exhausted. it was all being suppressed in your chest, burning and rotting away.

you smiled at him a little, the forced kind of smile, and you sarcastically laughed when you spoke, “if you got bored of me, you could have just said so.”

minho opened his mouth, surprised. but the light glimmer behind your eyes created a new kind of chaos in his head. he has seen you cry before, and this time it was all him.

“i–no, that wasn’t the problem, i just–”

“did i do something then? are you mad at me, or something like that?“ you cut him off with a scoff, shaking your head slightly as you frowned at him. “because you left me alone for weeks. you were a terrible friend to me, and i had no idea if it was me or you.”

“i’m not bored of you, (name). neither am i mad at you,” he replied quickly, sighing as he looked at you with softened eyes. “it's—something personal happened, nothing was your fault.”

you pursed your lips together, feeling slightly less agitated as your questions slowly got resolved one by one. “what is it, then? what happened to you?“

“i…” i fell in love with you.

you waited for seconds for him to talk but all minho could do was look down at the floor, fearing for what would happen to you and him if he ever told the truth. a sigh left your lips at his silence, disappointed that he couldn’t give you a proper answer.

“fine, don’t tell me,” you said, turning around to leave the kitchen area.

“hey, wait, where are you going?” he followed suit, panic flooding into his eyes.

“away from you,” you muttered as you put on your shoes. “don’t worry about seeing me again, i won’t bother you anymore.”

minho hasn’t realized he was unintentionally ruining the relationship until this point. in his attempt to keep his feelings secured and hidden, all to prevent the breakage of your friendship, he failed to notice the damage all the avoiding did to it.

now you were planning to leave him forever, to walk out and completely cut him out of your life. and oh, he was scared. he could not bear to never seeing you again, or even just to stomach the thought of you hating him because of his stupidity.

“wait, no, hold on–” he grabbed ahold of your hand when you grabbed the doorknob. before you could fling him away, he turned you around to face him and, impulsively, grabbed your face to crash his lips against yours.

yes, crash. with the amount of force he was using, the word crash would deem fit. you tried to push him away from you, but your little fists were futile to his broad chest, and soon enough he had you weak at the weeks with the exasperating way he was kissing you.

you could taste this one, his emotions were vivid at the tip of his tongue as he finally learned to surrender himself into you. he was desperate, he was lustful, he was burning at the tips of his skin just to kiss you like there is nothing else he could mean more than this exact moment.

when he pulled away, he leaned his forehead against yours and looked into your eyes. it was intimidating and confrontational, everything he thought he couldn’t handle now being pierced through his action so he could prove a point.

“i didn’t…” he shook his head. “i’m so sorry for ignoring you, i did it because i… i didn’t want to ruin our friendship… because i realize i won’t be able to fall out of love with you if we keep being friends, if we keep sleeping together.”

that took such a drastic turn. you never thought things would turn out this way for you, but here minho was, looking so deeply into your eyes and telling you he avoided you because he was scared his love would ruin your friendship. what a damned miracle!

“you… you coward, stupid, dumb, annoying–” you lightly punched him across the chest, feeling such staggering relief that you felt like crying. “you didn’t even give me a fighting chance, you just assumed i won’t like you back.”

“i know, i’m sorry.”

“you didn’t even try to drop hints, how was i suppose to let you know i love you back?”

“i know, baby girl, i’m sorry.”

the shock within him vanished quickly. he didn’t have the time to express his delight the way he would want to. you were standing before him in all your glory—beautiful, genuine, emotional.

and he wanted you with him in a way that was much closer than this.

nudging his nose against yours, minho let his lips meet yours at a slower pace this time. he was gentle with you, his arms holding at the side of your waist to pull you closer as you two kissed.

your hands flew to circle his neck as you stumbled out of your untied shoes and into his chest. minho let himself linger on your lips for a while before he started to trail his kisses down your jaw.

your neck was a territory he has marked many times before, and he never fails to make sure he adds something new every time his lips touch the skin. his teeth grazed past your neck before he met at the crook of it, and he obnoxiously sucked a dark bruise on your skin just so you would whimper in surprise.

sigh—how he missed that whimsical little sound. it was always so heavenly to hear, even when the action that caused it was more than devilish.

he marked his way back up to your lips when his fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. he slipped his hand under it, his palm touching your bare skin for a brief second before he retreated them to clutch at the fabric of your shirt.

“can i take your shirt off, baby?” he mumbled into your mouth, his hand already raising slightly in anticipation.

you nodded, raising your arms as he complied and pulled your shirt up. you two broke apart to allow it to go through before leaning back toward each again. minho discarded your shirt off to the ground, his hands couldn’t wait to finally meet with your torso.

he kissed you fervently, his fingers holding the same amount of enthusiasm as they glided past the small curve of your waist. up and down, a faint squeeze to hold you in place, and then he pushed you forward so your back hit the door.

putting a hand between the back of your head and the hard surface, minho reluctantly pulled away from you, this time with no intention to dive back to your lips again because of all the other access to your body you’ve given him.

he breathed heavily, his voice growing raspy. “i’m gonna make it up to you.”

“i expect you to,” you replied boldly, causing him to raise his brow.

that was not something you would otherwise say in a situation like this. minho would have put you in your place if you ever attempted to give him an attitude. but he planned to let it slide this time, after all, he did hurt your feelings and he was at fault here.

“good.” was all he said before he started to move down your body.

his lips met at your collarbones, then to your chest where he skipped over your bra and went straight down to your stomach. he planted light kisses all over your skin, his tongue occasionally swiping across to wet up your body a little more.

he was kneeling before you by the time his hands met the waist of your pants, and he looked up with brows raising teasingly at you as his hands circled to the front. his fingers carefully popped open the button before they hooked through the belt loops and slowly pulled them down to your ankle.

your knees trembled at the touch of his hands, gliding up and down the back of your thighs and ever so slightly tugging you toward him. your breath hitched in your throat when he leaned up to kiss your clothed core, the sudden touch sending a surprise jolt across your mind.

foreign but familiar—it just came too sudden. you hadn’t realized this was actually happening until your panties were dragged past your thighs, the cold air a stinging proof that you’re with minho right now, and his lips were getting dangerously close to where you’ve been aching to have him these past weeks.

his hands curled around your legs, gripping your flesh firmly to keep them apart as he liked it. he moved up your inner-thighs. he continued to send tingly sensations all over your body until he stopped for a second, as if waiting for a dramatic effect, for a lingering thought to vanish before he latched his lips to your pussy.

his tongue darted out to lick between your folds, feeling the wetness gathering at your entrance upon the pleasuring stimulation. your moan went straight into ears, lighting up the delight inside him, and he continued to lather himself all over your cunt, wasting no time to poke his tongue in and out of you rhythmically.

you grabbed a messy chunk of his hair, pulling at it as you desperately tried to rust against his face, taunting him to shove his tongue deeper inside your heat. the position made your legs feel sore, and the mere attempt to grind down on him was just difficult, but you could take none of those into mind that when his mouth mercilessly sucked at your clit until it was red and swollen.

he was luxuriating himself in you—in your taste, in your voice, in your movement. your essence dripping past his tongue in a slurpy motion, your walls clenching at the digits he had graciously slipped into your heat, and ecstasy took your voice up into a milky whine when his teeth barely grazed past your clit as he sucked at you.

the heat in your chest expanded and engulfed itself all over your body. without yourself even realizing, your legs have moved apart to give minho more access to touch you even more.

“fuck, minho, please!” you exclaimed, your head hitting against the door.

ahh, you still know how to beg. perhaps not as profusely as he would have wanted you to but you were polite nonetheless. not to mention, your fingers scratching through his soft locks was enough indication that he was doing a splendid job. and he couldn’t wait to hear more of you, to feel more of you.

moving his face down to your heat, he drove his tongue inside you once again while his thumb went to press circles on your throbbing clit. you let out a choked moan, the sudden change of stimulation a very pleasant surprise, and he has your climax pinned at his mouth in no time.

gathering up your juices into his mouth, minho finally pulled away from you and stood up. he didn’t bother to wipe your essence off his lips, he just went straight for your mouth as he pressed his lips against yours. and you were in too big of a haze to distinguish the taste of yourself and his saliva, still trying to come down from the orgasm you’ve missed having from him.

minho brought his hand up to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb carefully as he contemplated his next move. perhaps he was putting a little pressure on himself to make sure this encounter would be perfect, because he thought it somehow needed to be after hurting your feelings.

but part of him also ached for a good fuck after so long. not just with anybody but with you. the scorching desire in his chest would ultimately fuel his instincts today, and maybe he’d not be able to keep his cool when he could finally be inside you.

just the thought of it made his insides burst. he should have never distanced himself from you. it was such a stupid idea.

“up,” minho commanded as he leaned down to tug at your thighs. and you listened to him, jumping up so he could catch you around his waist, your arms going around his neck as your lips moved past his face to run freely down his neck.

you were enjoying the feeling of his skin, kissing him all over in ways you wished you had been able to. your teeth bit down harder when you heard his tiny giggle at your almost amateur attempt on leaving him a hickey, a frown appearing on your face at the fact that he wasn’t taking you seriously.

he brought both of you over to the couch and he dropped you down on the surface, his body quickly hovering over yours as he got onto the couch as well. you looked up at him, your eyes smiling funnily in a way that made him pause his movement. 

this was supposed to be a heated moment, yet somehow a single quirk of your lips was able to make his walls crumble.

“what’s so funny?” he asked, pinching your waist and causing you to squeal at the itch.

“nothing! it’s just…” you reached down for his hand and brought it up to your face, kissing his rough knuckles as you smiled at him. “i’ve missed you, that’s all.”

minho wavered, the glint behind his eyes dimming with a sense of being completely enamored. at the way your lips would smile, at the way your gaze held all of him, even just at how your smaller hand gripped his own. he was so infatuated, he could see no end to it.

“i’m sorry for suddenly leaving you,” he said, leaning down by dropping onto his forearm. your fingers still clung into his palm when he moved it up to your chin, his thumb tracing the tip of it before it moved up to your lips. “i promise i won’t do it again.”

his thumb traced your lower lip, a movement so sensual that you couldn’t think about much of anything else. just the mere fact that you got him back, and that he too has fallen in love with you, was enough to make you drop every ounce of your sanity.

you felt like you’ve got all you need already.

“kiss me, minho,” you pleaded quietly, opening your mouth more so his thumb would shift across your teeth.

he felt your legs move underneath his body, pressing together in a squirm. and he knew you wanted him between them, he knew you were waiting for him to pull them apart instead of doing it on your own. because everything needs to be done by his hands, that has always been the way you two worked, and you would obey him with ease.

flashes of your naked body came before his face. flashes he imagined when he was alone at night, trying miserably to replace you with a toy, or sometimes even himself. his lids dropped as he shifted to look down at your body, soft and awaiting his instructions, and he lightly growled to himself.

impatience suddenly took over him then, the previous moment gone in a blink of an eye. he leaned down to capture your lips, his hands going to your knees to spread them apart so he could place himself right in the middle.

you complied with him, kissing him back and tugging at his shirt as a signal that you wanted it off his body. minho huffed through his nose, slightly annoyed that he has to break away from you but he quickly yanked the collar of the shirt and pulled it over his head.

the flex of his arms was visible as he did so, and your eyes widened shyly without looking away. god, you’ve always loved the way he was built—just muscular enough to ogle at and not too much that they become uncomfortably distracting.

having second thoughts after seeing his toned chest, you decided to sit up from your spot and pushed your hands against him. minho frowned at you, his voice silent but his head-tilt asking a thousand questions. he was going to kiss you, why have you stopped him!

you grinned as you pushed him back, using your body weight to make him fall to the other side of the couch until he was under you this time. you laid on top of him, your small frame trapped between his legs as your head right at the crook of his neck.

minho was about to verbally ask you for your intention, but his eyes rolled up into a close when you kissed his neck. your hands roamed across his chest, your nails dragging ghostly against his skin in an unrecognized pattern as you peppered your kisses and kitten licks all over him.

he sighed in content, feeling your lips on every inch of his body, hot and loving. and he loved being treated this way, like he was being worshipped, like he was a god and you some mere peasant who had to rely on him for a living.

“(name),” he said, his voice sharp as he opened his eyes.

you perked up at him from the waist of his pants, your hands teasingly located near the middle. they had been scattered all over his abdomen, touch here and rubbing there, but never once did they meet at the middle where the obvious bulge of his pants was.

looking at his unsatisfied expression, you could only feel a sense of amusement as you pouted. your lashes fluttered up at him as you scooted back a little for better access. your smile was unfading when you leaned the lower side of your cheek right on top of his clothed member.

“what?” you asked, your smile widening at the hiss he let out.

“stop teasing me,” he said.

“hmm…” you pursed your lips, your finger dragging past his thigh to your face, then you palmed down on the shape of his member. “but it’s so fun.”

for someone with a waterfall dripping past your lips, you sure could find some time to be bratty like this.

rolling his eyes, his tongue poked at his inner-cheek as he turned away for a brief moment. when he looked at you again, his gaze was less hooded than it was amused. but it wasn’t your kind of amused. it wasn’t playful but degrading, the glimmer of it making you shiver.

“you want to say that again, baby?” he asked, his hand moving down to your head. he gently ran his fingers through your hair before he tugged at your scalp, his action light but not without harshness in it.

you whimpered under your breath, your brows furrowing helplessly as your head tilted to the side. “no.”

“good girl.” he released your hair then, gesturing toward himself. he nodded at you, smirking, “keep going.”

you didn’t mess around this time. your hand reached to the rubber waistband and easily pulled his sweats down to his thighs. you scooted your body up, your mouth salivating at the mere sight of his clothed member. you quickly tugged down his boxers, letting his cock spring out before you carefully grabbed its base.

minho sucked in a deep breath at your touch, your small hand covering around the base of his shaft. he closed his eyes with a blissful sigh when your lips finally touched his tip, giving him a little kiss before pressing them against him to dart your tongue over his slit.

licking past his red tip, you trailed your tongue over his shaft once before you went back up to his tip. then you finally took him in your mouth, your head bobbing up and down at regular speed as your hand rubbed the uncovered area.

minho groaned, his hand quickly flying down to your head. he let it lay there, only wanting something for him to hold onto as you sucked him off. great pleasure released from his abdomen, spreading all across his body as you hollowed your cheeks and licked him up as your head moved.

he opened his eyes to look down at you. for a second, you were focused on keeping him in your mouth, but you seemed to have felt his eyes on you so you glanced up at him.

he cursed at your wide-eyed, innocent—well, as innocent as you could look with his dick in your mouth, at least—expression then. his chest doing a flip as you slowly dragged your lips up to his tip to add stimulation to it, the smooching sounds you let out deafening to his ears.

there was something about your facade. it was the way he knew you were just putting up a naive front to rile him up, looking as pure as possible as your lips printed a smile on the top of his shaft, your tongue still poking out to lick him irregularly as if you get to be in control here.

(and, yes, to a certain level you do have control. to a maximum level, you have his utmost attention and all of his heart.)

holding onto the base of his cock, you tilted your head to the side and squinted your eyes mischievously at him. dragging the side of his tip against your cheek slowly, you let out a lewd hum, something like a relieved moan but it didn’t lack a tinge of questioning noise in it, and you watched him as if waiting for his patience to crack, waiting for his tough walls to fall beneath your feet.

he was falling. his face didn’t much show it, and either did his muscles tense under your body weight. but minho was completely surrendered to you; how could he not? you’re such a pretty thing, your warm mouth feeling heavenly as they moved up and down his shaft in an agonizingly slow pace.

his breathing was elevated now, he could feel his chest suffocating with deep arousal, and he wanted nothing more to have your walls wrapped around him now. forget your lips, he needed the tightness around him.

“okay, no,” minho spoke after a moment of thought. he attempted to sit up, his hands moving out to grab at your elbows. “you, get up, now.”

you listened to him, sitting up from your spot while he pulled at your arm. you followed his lead, letting him bring you onto his lap where you heat met with his hardened member. The confusion that once lingered in your head immediately faded away when you felt his girth snug between your folds, a whimper leaving your lips excitedly as you grind down on his member, wanting more friction out of a mere touch.

minho huffed, a tingly sensation fixated at his abdomen. his movements were beginning to get hasty but he has a general direction of what he wanted to do. he wanted you, that was all he knew. and with you sitting prettily on top of him, his mind knew exactly what he had to do despite the pitter-pattering of his heart.

although clumsy, he was precise when he gabbed you by your waist and hoisted you up with your help. he moved his hand down to hold up his dick, angling it right at your entrance before he glanced up at you through his tousled hair.

his eyes were striking, dazzling you as he waited for permission to handle you. you weren’t able to say much, a knot present at the back of your throat that could only be released when you could finally feel full again, full of him. so instead of talking, you brought your hands to your sides where his laid, and you lightly spread your knees further apart to drop onto his cock.

minho moaned lowly, feeling the warmth of your entrance as his tip got lathered up with your essence. he took that as a green light, and with a tightened grip on your skin, he guided you to sink on his length by pushing your body lower and lower until you were sat with him stuck within your walls.

your eyes shut when you felt his stretch, opening you up so deliciously that you needed a moment to breathe. you took all of him in you, his length a pleasantly erotic sensation inside your cunt that even a small scratch of friction could get your head all fuzzed up in a dream.

you felt full, oh so very full, in the most delightful way possible. you felt like smiling when you adoringly looked at him, because you loved him so and you didn’t think you could get this back again. your walls unconsciously clenched around him when you felt like shifting your position a little, and the little breathy sounds he let out a kind of music you adored.

he stared back at you after the sudden commotion and his heart melted. your faint smile was an undeserved treasure you somehow decided to grant him on a daily, and the fact that you always made him feel so snug and good, both chastely and sexually, was nothing short of a miracle.

his hand slipped from your waist to lace through yours, holding you softly as lust blossomed in his eyes.

it has always been the two of you who could make each other feel this way. the thrill of first love, the nostalgia of being intimate, the fear of losing one another—no wonder you two fell in love, it was a match made in heaven.

he brought you down to kiss him, and your arms instinctively flew around his neck. you allowed him a second of solace before pulling away just enough to speak, your voice small with praise. “fuck, you feel so good.”

he laughed, biting at your jaw where his face got draped over by the falling of your hair. “good, but i’m about to feel even better,” he whispered before reattaching his lips to yours. between the tangled lips, you could hear a needy whine sounding from the back of his threat, and you giggled into his mouth. he wanted you to move.

you carefully brought yourself up, your walls scraping past his cock in the process and catching up a burn. then, slowly but still at a non-torturous pace, you lowered yourself back down on him. you kept up with the speed, going up and down on his lap and moaning with every new stretch of your walls.

minho’s hands slipped from yours to caress all over your body, touching you gingerly as if you were his pretty porcelain doll. when his hands met your chest, he gave a small frown at the bra that was still attached to your body, and he quickly unhooked it to expose you completely.

your thighs stuttered when you felt him clamp his palm over your breast, the sudden jolt of pleasure hitting your head. his hands moved to cup your side, his thumbs reaching to press against your nipples and twirling circles with it. then he leaned forward to take your perky bud into his mouth after kissing around the bouncy area, licking your milky smooth skin before his tongue swiped across your nipple.

he kissed across your chest, his lips unable to remove from your skin as you relentlessly moved up and down on him. the plethora of pleasure, the immeasurable amount of enjoyment manifesting into this electrifying sensation all across your veins. it was all from the way minho felt so good inside you, and the passionate touch of his mouth on your everywhere.

“ahh–min–” you hugged him close with a sudden scream, only able to utter his name halfway. the jolt had knocked the air out of your lungs when his cock brushed against your sweet spot, making your knees buckle weakly and your movement halting to a messy rhythm.

minho raised a brow, feeling playful upon seeing your drastic reaction. he pulled away from your face, his eyes searching for your face. “hmm? min–what?”

you furrowed your brows then, a blush escaping to your cheeks at his seductive voice. as you struggled to keep up with the thrusts, you pursed your lips together and flashed minho a soft grimace before you squeezed your eyes shut again at the sensation. you didn’t plan on finishing your cut off sentence and you just wanted to keep hitting the sweet spot over and over again, because god, it made you feel so, so good.

but minho wanted otherwise. unfortunately, he has the upper hand here. he wasn’t the one who’s been moving rigorously the past minutes, he still got lots of stamina stored up for him to hold you in place. you whined when he did, his hands pushing down on your hips to prevent you from sliding up his dick.

you looked at him, your eyes wide as sweat glistened on your forehead, sticking the hair to your pretty skin. the arousal was dripping inside you, aching to be moved around, longing to be penetrated.

hoping to gain an ounce of sympathy, you pouted with a slump of your shoulders and pleaded, “minho, please.”

“hmm,” he squinted his eyes, lightly snapping his hips deeper into you. “please…? please what, baby.”

you clenched your fists, feeling the annoying pain of his slow, slow thrusts. part of you wanted to see how long he could keep up with this, this burningly slow pace. but hellish ache at your pussy overshadowed your tendency to be bratty and childish. all you wanted was to feel the pleasure again, so you begged as he wanted you to.

“please fuck me, minho,” you asked, desperation pumping out of your mouth like gold, “please fuck me–your cock feels good, i–i want more!”

minho laughed lowly, the moany sound hiding under the edge of his voice when he saw how you struggled to speak. the heat on your cheeks adding to the overall flair of his sight, your bare appearance the greatest art he’s ever laid his eyes on. and your words made him soar off the moon, you needy little thing! you’d break yourself with embarrassment to keep feeling the euphoric feeling only he could make you feel, wouldn’t you?

how pathetically adorable. maybe he should help you out a little, the moment a silent fulfillment to his own desire to pound himself quicker into you.

he gripped your hips tighter by digging his nails into your skin and he helped you up on his length. he waited for a moment before he forced your fragile body down on his cock, earning a chocked strangled whimper from you. he continued in a regular rhythm. occasionally, he would push his hips up to meet with your pussy, adding to the strength of the pound and making your moan louder with the strike.

you let loose of your muscles when you felt that you’ve lost the control, and you pressed yourself closer to him in hopes to regain the previous position. the magnified gratification came unknowingly like a ghost, his dick finally able to find your g-spot again, and this time stayed haunting you with every slick thrust.

as your pussy started to salivate more with each snap of your hips, the squelching noise was also becoming harder to ignore. it mixed in with your heavy breaths, the sound of sex reverberating around you both, and you could feel your orgasm approaching inch by inch, threatening your release.

minho was watching you carefully, his eyes fixated on your face as he observed every little movement. your jaw hung open at the constant moaning, your eyes barely able to open clearly because of the overwhelming sensation—everything about you made him feel confident, possibly even narcissistic at some point.

but he really enjoyed the fact that you succumb to him so easily, and you shamelessly showed it through your body without even knowing.

he wondered if you knew you were clenching incredibly tightly around his cock. it didn’t seem to be a conscious action, considering how you could barely string a coherent sentence together. judging by that, though, minho knew your climax was approaching close, and he planned to get you to it with as much care as possible.

pulling you off him suddenly, he sat up quickly and pushed you on your back. he hovered over your body, only laying on top of you after he re-inserted himself inside of you. your legs went around his hips, bringing him closer by the back while he leaned his head down to briefly kiss your neck.

“hey,” he smiled, his hand caressing through your hair as he looked down at you with soft eyes.

you raised your brows at him, silent breathes huffing in and out of your nose as he started to thrust into you again. you touched his face, squeezing his cheeks with a smile. “what?”

minho was right. he does feel closer to you like this.

his eyes shifted down to your lips and back up into your eyes. affection engulfed him quickly, it does every time he stares into your eyes. he gets reminded of the way he fell in love with you again and again whenever he does.

and he never minded the constant reminder. he enjoyed the process. it was a lot of emotional talks, playful banter, and a lot of good sex. all of which he felt like he could have with you for the rest of his life, he wanted to have with you for the remaining of his stupid lifetime.

he unconsciously pounded deeper into you then, his mind wanting you to feel all of him to the rawest sense. you moaned at the sudden change of force but you welcomed it by opening your legs a little more for him.

your toes were curling after a few more hard thrusts, your stomach churning impossibly at the way his cock felt sliding in and out of you. when you felt the tightening feeling in your chest, you looked up at minho and grabbed his hand, huffing out hastily, “min–minho, i’m close.”

“i know,” he hummed loving at you, picking up his pace to bring you over the edge.

you arched your back at the feeling, a silent scream leaving your mouth. he pinned your hands to the side of your head, his hands hugging your small ones, and when your head moved back down to face him, he wasted no time to put his lips on yours again.

god, it was like he literally cannot keep himself off you.

your mind was getting foggy. you weren’t sure whether it was from the passionately way he kissed or from the burn between your legs, but you felt like you couldn’t quite process anything clearly anymore. well, anything except for one thing.

when minho pulled away, he kept himself close. his lips were grazing against yours but he wasn’t close enough to kiss you. and you could feel his lips move against yours ghostly when he whispered, “i love you.”

you processed that one. the words hit you really strongly too, your heart practically sunk up to your throat at them. you wanted to say it back, you planned to say it back, but you only sucked in a strong breath when minho rammed against the sweet spot in you. your eyes rolled back at the unprecedented attack and your back lifted off the couch once again.

“oh fuck–minho, please, please–ahh!”

he continued with a few more harsh thrusts before you released around his cock with a whine, your hands tightening around his at the pleasure. he had his head buried at the crook of your neck, his hips continued to move as he drowned himself in the scent of your body. he was chasing his own high now, his cock twitching inside your warm hold as he pounded into you.

your walls slurped him up, tightening around him to add stimulation. and when he felt like he was about to come undone, he quickly pulled out of you and sat up. his hand moved to his cock, quickly pumping along his length as his eyes trained on your sweaty, delicate body.

you looked at him before slowly sitting up, you went on all fours and crawled closer to him before positioning your face before his cock. minho shakily breathed out a sigh when you nudged your face against his tip, then you stopped at your opened mouth, waiting for him to pour himself over your tongue.

“ugh, you’re gonna swallow me, baby girl?” he hissed out, and he bit his lower lip when you nodded, widening your eyes naively at him.

he groaned, his abdomen tightening at the mere sight of you, hot cum sprouting out of his slit and landing on your stuck-out tongue. you held your breath, feeling the liquid dripping past your tongue before taking it back into your mouth and rolling it around. when you looked back up at minho, you grinned a little and stuck your tongue out at him.

his lips twitted at the sticky substance lingered on the tip, little lines stretching from your lips to your tongue. fuck, you filthy thing! how dare you make his heart all disheveled and gone.

“fuck, you’re so hot,” he muttered under his breath as you sat back on your heels.

you laughed, wiping your mouth and swallowing the last of him. “thank you, you’re not so bad yourself.”

he rolled his eyes then, the corner of his lips turning up into a graceful smile. he tackled you to the couch then, your hot body pressed against yours, but the atmosphere was more romantically chaste than sexual this time. you two were just two lovers naked in each others’ arms, putting complete and utter faith in each other that you would be held safe.

you two went quiet, basking in the silence. but you could hear him, his heart and his skin, pumping and brushing along yours.

would you have thought of this months ago when you first met minho? no. you have dreamt of it, but you never thought it could be true. and the dream was shattered when he suddenly decided to ghost you weeks ago.

but it didn’t matter now. you were here with him, he was holding you tightly like it was the only thing he knew to do.

“i meant to say it back,” you broke the silence first, “i love you too.”

despite knowing the answer already, minho still breathed out a sigh of relief anyway. he pressed a kiss to your head, his eyes closing calmly as he nodded. “i know.”

you smiled. minho has been a lot of things—a nice classmate, a good friend, and a few quick fucks. but you never indulged in the idea of you and him together. the idea that minho could be you and him together, that he could be a partner, a boyfriend.

the idea that minho could be an ‘us.’

[slythergirlimagines]

Just Us With Some Hugging - Part 2

Let me just say how incredibly nice everyone has been?? You all are amazing and I really hope you like Part 2 as much as Part 1. Speaking of, if you haven’t read Part 1, read it first! Masterlist

Summary: Zuko asks you to be his fake girlfriend to stop his Uncle’s matchmaking. Angst and fluff

(GIF is not mine and has nothing to do with the story. Zuko just looks fine;))

Just Us and Some Hugging- Part 2

There were a few moments of perfect silence as you kissed, the calm before the storm. The music of the party faded away, and it was just the two of you. This is what people write about, you think. This is what all the girls talk about. Kissing Zuko is as powerful as his fire. The energy around you sizzles, and maybe you are burning.

You pull away, slightly breathless, eyes still closed.

“Y/N...” Zuko whispers.

And then reality hits you like one of Ba Sing Se’s trains.

“Oh no.” Flies out of your mouth before you can help it. “No, no.” How could you be so stupid?

You knew he didn’t feel that way about you. You knew this would all blow up in your face. All those feelings had just been burning under your skin, ready to combust at a moments notice. And the soft way he had said your name solidified it all. That’s the voice people used when they were about to reject someone.

Zuko’s eyebrows pulled together over his amber eyes.

“Y/n?” He asked, as you backed away from him.

Tears filled your eyes. You knew he was working out what to say to you, how to let you down the easiest. You couldn’t bear to hear it.

“I’m...I’m sorry.” You choke out, and then you are running.

_________________________________

You barely make it back to the house when you break down. Luckily no one is there, so you pound your way up the stairs and slam your door shut. How could you kiss him?

You had single handedly ruined the best thing in your life by being a complete idiot. You could have lied, said you were doing it for the show. You could have spun it so you could both brush it off and pretend nothing happened.

Instead, you had ran, telling him exactly what that kiss meant to you. Did you really have no self control, or did you just like being a masochist?

Slowly you head to the small bathroom to change out of your simple green dress. With a groan you remember that tonight wasn’t even the real party. Tomorrow is the honorary ceremony, and the reason you came. It’s the one that you brought your best gown for. The one that you thought would make Zuko fall madly in love with you. What an idiot.

Wiping the rest of your makeup away, you make your way miserably to your room and pull the soft bed covers over your head. What were you going to do about tomorrow? You couldn’t face Zuko after what you’d done. How could he even still want to pretend to date you after that?

You could try and catch a train. There wouldn’t be one tonight, but surely there would be one early tomorrow. Then you could go quietly and avoid making this situation any worse than it already was. You try to plan what you’ll do after that. You had lived at the palace your whole life, and you really had no where else to go. You knew that Zuko would never kick you out, his honor would forbid it even if you weren’t friends any more. Even so, you didn’t think you could stand it.

Maybe you could just say you were drunk. So drunk that you acted like a complete lunatic. You’d only had one drink, but maybe Zuko didn’t know that. Ugh. You were a disaster.

Someone opens the door and shuts up your inner monologue. You hadn’t heard any drunken stumbling, so you knew it wasn’t Toph or Sokka. Katara and Aang were too preoccupied to come check on you. Suki would undoubtedly be wherever Sokka was, and anyways you weren’t close enough to check up on one another. That left one person.

You freeze, grateful that you’re under the covers and he can’t see your face. You try to breathe as evenly as possible to make him think you’re asleep. Zuko stands there for an immeasurable amount of time, and you can feel that same energy from before connecting you. Now it’s even more magnetic, and all you want is to go to him. You forcefully lock your muscles into place. You will do no more harm tonight.

“I know you’re awake.” He says lowly, and you clench you’re eyes shut. You are not leaving this bed.

He stands there a little longer, giving you the chance to acknowledge him. When you make no effort to speak to him, Zuko leaves with a sigh and shuts the door quietly behind him. You don’t hear his footsteps as he walks away, but he’s always been a silent walker.

When enough time has passed, you let your body relax. Your pounding heart is loud in your ears, and you fall asleep replaying the exchange over and over.

—————————————————

“Spill.” A voice wakes you up.

Toph lounges leisurely on your bed, one leg underneath her and the other planted firmly on the floor.

“Toph what are you doing?” You groan, rolling back over. It’s too early to be dealing with this.

“I want to know why you and lover boy are pretending to date, and I also want to know why he’s depressed as hell this morning.” She snarks.

You sit straight up in bed, heart pounding.

“What time is it?” You ask frantically! If everyone is awake downstairs then you’ve missed you’re opportunity to leave.

“9. Why?” Toph flicks her loose hair over her shoulder. You had never seen her hair down before.

“Doesn’t matter now.” You say moodily.

Toph’s face lights up like she’s figured something out. Not good.

“You were going to leave!” She says jumping up. She’s being way too loud, and you know if she keeps it up everyone will hear her.

“Toph! Hush!” You admonish, scrambling out of bed and slapping a hand over her mouth to keep her quiet.

“Tell me everything or I’m telling.” She says, words muffled by your hand.

You quickly try to debate your options. You didn’t want Toph to tell anyone that you were going to run away, it was too embarrassing. Especially because they’d ask why, and Zuko would have the answer.

“Ugh ok, ok!” You remove you hand from Toph’s mouth and cross your arms. Toph mimics you and raises her chin.

“Well?” She asks. And then you spill.

It all comes out like word vomit. You tell her about the fake dating, about your feelings, and then the kiss.

“You kissed him, ran away screaming ‘no’, and you think he’s the one that doesn’t like you?” She asks incredulously.

“Toph it’s not like that. He was about to reject me, ok? He was using that voice, and his expression. You would understand if you had been there.” You defend.

Perhaps you could see what she was saying. Maybe it did look like you kissed him and ran away screaming, but he was seconds away from doing it himself. You were just saving him the embarrassment. Your argument sounds pathetic even to yourself, but you know you’re right about his feelings. Zuko could never feel that way for you. You weren’t a badass bender or even someone with a noble title, like Mai. You were just you, and you weren’t good enough for Zuko.

“So that’s why he’s sitting downstairs, depressed as hell, pretending to eat breakfast while he watches the door.” Toph sasses you.

“Toph he’s not depressed. He’s.... grossed out.”

Toph rolls her eyes for effect, and shakes her head.

“Idiot.” She mumbles. You aren’t even offended because it’s the truth.

“Toph, I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep this up anymore. That’s why I was going to leave early this morning.” You tell her.

Toph considers it for a minute, and then takes a seat on your bed.

“I think you should talk to him.” She says at last.

“No!” You shake your head vehemently. “I can’t. No way.”

“He’s probably scared and nervous too you know.” Toph says, and it may be the most gentle tone she’s ever used.

You try to imagine a nervous Zuko. You’d seen it a few times, when he came back from exile, or before a really big council meeting. That wasn’t the Zuko you had seen last night.

“He isn’t.” You say with finality.

“I still think you’re an idiot.” Toph says, getting off your bed and adjusting her green tunic. “But if you aren’t going to talk to him, we’ll just have to keep you apart as much as possible.”

——————————————————

Toph’s idea of keeping you and Zuko apart came in the form of a girls’ day. She had even convinced Katara and Suki to come.

Toph had given you some time to change, and then she had whisked you all away to a spa that she and Katara liked.

“We might as well get pampered before our big night.” Toph says, sarcastically. Katara rolls her eyes, and starts leading the group through the cheery streets. Ba Sing Se is even more decorated today then it had been yesterday.

“Are you feeling better, y/n?” Suki asks. “Zuko said you felt sick last night and had to go home early, before he left to check on you.”

Color flushes your cheeks as the wide eyed girl smiles at you kindly.

“Y-yes.” You say. “I’m feeling much better.”

“I bet Zuko helped with that.” Katara giggles, and all the other girls join in.

“Ok, ok knock it off.” You say, laughing uncomfortably. A flash of heat tears through you as you remember Zuko standing at your door.

“Come on ladies, we’re here!” Toph says, ending the Zuko conversation. You would feel more grateful if she hadn’t laughed at you.

The spa day turns out to be rather fun. You enjoy spending time with the girls, and the spa workers are excellent at their jobs. They have you all in tip top shape by the time you leave later that afternoon.

You’re on pins and needles as you near the house. Will Zuko be waiting? You bad barely managed to avoid him this morning, and now you didn’t know how to act around him. Did he still want you to keep up the act? Maybe Toph was right, you should have talked to him.

The house is empty when you all return, and you don’t know why it’s both a relief and a disappointment. Katara teases you for looking for Zuko, and you make a jab back at her about Aang.

There still a few hours left before you have to get ready, so everyone goes their separate ways for a nap.

You just make it through the door of your room, when it slams shut behind you.

You let out a shriek, and whirl around to find Zuko blocking the door. His arms are crossed, and his dark hair is down, strands falling over his eyes. His face is blank, and that’s how you know he’s mad. He also looks unbelievably sexy.

“Zuko? You gave me a heart attack!” You whisper shout at him. “What are you doing here?”

“You’re ignoring me.” Zuko says, icily.

“I am not.” You say, and you wish that you could come up with something better.

Zuko arches an eyebrow in response.

“I’m not!” You flush. “What are you doing hiding in my room?” You try and deflect.

“Oh? Well let’s see. I was dancing with my best friend and then she kissed me. And then to make everything better, she ran off screaming. Now she’s ignoring me when I try to talk to her about it, so I have to ambush her to get her to speak to me!” His chest is heaving when he’s done ranting, and your heart is pounding.

It makes everything different, speaking it out loud. Hearing him tell it. He wanted to talk to you about it, and you hadn’t the slightest idea what to say. You open and close your mouth a few times, trying desperately to find the words.

Zuko watches, eyes boring into yours mercilessly. You know he’s not going to leave until he gets an answer.

“I don’t know what to say.” You admit, blushing. “I was drunk.”

You decide to give the excuse a try. You know he doesn’t buy it, because he pushes off of the door and moves to stand in front of you.

“Drunk? Off of one glass of champagne. Come on y/n, I’ve been out drinking with you. I know you aren’t that much of a lightweight.”

That damned electricity is there, humming again.

“I was drunk.” You repeat again. You heard somewhere that it’s better to stick with the same lie than try to alter it.

“Really.” Zuko says, moving even closer. He’s too close, and your breaths mingle. You’re craning your neck to keep eye contact with him. If he bends down even a little..... No! That kind of thinking got you here in the first place.

“Drunk is really what you’re sticking with?” He murmurs, leaning down just a fraction more. He’s immobilizing you with his eyes.

“Uh huh...” you say, getting caught up in it all.

“Fine.” He says, abruptly. “I hope you can hold your liquor tonight.” He says angrily, but his eyes are telling you something else, something you can’t quite decipher.

He gives you a final searching look, and then marches out the door. This time he lets it slam shut.

—————————————————-

It takes all of ten minutes for you to burst into Toph’s room. She’s asleep but you shake her awake, giving her no time to wake up before you tell her what just happened.

When she wakes up enough to understand what you’re telling her, her face twists into an evil grin.

“Don’t worry y/n. I know just the thing to do.”

The thing to do is apparently get you ready for the celebration. Toph gets Suki and Katara, both of whom look like they’ve been doing something other than sleeping. Toph instructs them that they have to make you look pretty for Zuko.

“We have to make her irresistible, ladies. I’m talking the works. Y/n, go get your dress and bring it in here. Suki, Katara go get your stuff too. Bring all the makeup girls, we’re in for a night.”

The girls do an impressively good job getting ready. You all help each other with make up and hair, but they leave you for last. Suki tackles your makeup, while Katara weaves your hair into a masterpiece. They spend what feels like hours pressing various powders into your skin, and wrapping your hair around the curler.

When they’re finished, you look absolutely stunning.

“Oh my!” You say, turning your head at every angle. Your makeup highlights all of you features, and your hair is in an intricate updo. You feel like crying, never in your life have you felt so desirable. You force your tears away before they can ruin all of Suki’s hard work.

“You look gorgeous.” Toph says, and then laughs at her own joke. You roll your eyes, but hug her all the same.

“Ok, enough mushiness.” She says, punching you in the arm. “It’s time for the dress.”

You unzip the garment bag, and show them the brilliant dress. The ballgown is a deep crimson, embroidered with gold and red gemstones. They twist and turn around the bodice, patterned after flames.

“Oh wow.” Katara says as they help you step into it. She zips you up and spins you around to face the mirror. Everyone is speechless as they look at you.

“Zuko is going to lose his mind.”

———————————————-

Your stomach is in knots as you descend the stairs. You don’t know if your anxiety can handle this. After the bedroom incident, you don’t know if you can control yourself around him. He had been there, so close, and you had wanted to kiss him again. You clearly hadn’t learned any valuable lessons.

The boys are goofing around downstairs, when they notice you all. Aang airbends to Katara, lifting her into a hug.

“You’re gorgeous.” He says, kissing her boldly.

Sokka’s mouth is on the ground as he takes in Suki, and Toph snaps it shut for him helpfully. Toph looks incredible too, her green dress accentuating her usually hidden curves.

You look at Zuko last, unsure of what expression you’ll find there. When you finally see him, you think you’ll combust right then and there.

Zuko is devastatingly handsome. You know this, you’ve always known this. But it’s different tonight, when he’s dressed in a traditional firebender suit that matches your dress perfectly. His hair is away from his face, and even though you like it better wild, when it’s up he looks like a man. No, he looks like a Firelord.

His eyes are nearly golden when he looks at you. His expression is no longer guarded or angry, in fact you would say he looked awed.

“Breathe, dude.” Sokka reminds him as you approach. Zuko is still not saying anything, so you take it upon yourself to make the first move.

“Zuko.” You smile softly at him. You aren’t sure where the tenderness comes from, especially because you’re still embarrassed and a little unsure. But when he looks at you like that, it makes it all seem like nothing.

“I think you killed him, y/n.” Sokka accuses you. Toph laughs but shakes her head.

“Oh no, he’s very much alive.” She says, wiggling her eyebrows.

That seems to snap him out of whatever trance he is in, because he shoots Toph a dirty look. He turns back to look at you, and blinks again.

“Y/n. You look....” he starts, but is cut off by Iroh bursting through the door.

“Is everyone ready?” He asks, excitedly. His eyes land on you and Zuko, and they fill with tears.

“Oh my. You’re all so grown up!” He says. “We should have a painting done.”

“Uncle, the celebration will be over by the time the artist finishes.” Zuko says. His voice is raspy and low and it’s doing incredible things to your nerves, like internally lighting you on fire.

“You’re right, you’re right. Come on everyone!”

As you shuffle out of the door, Zuko offers you his arm. You try not to read into it as you wind yours delicately through his.

—————————————-

The celebration is bittersweet as always. The Gaang is honored for their heroism, and then there is the traditional moment of silence for those lives lost. Zuko grabs your hand during this, and you give it a squeeze. Talking about the people lost to violence gives you a new perspective on things.

Life is fleeting, and every moment should be made to count. You watch Zuko out of the corner of your eye, and start to think. Maybe you should be honest with him about your feelings. If he rejected you then at least you knew. Maybe it was time you really started living.

Your musings are broken by the cheers of the audience, and then the music begins playing and the party is officially in full swing.

———————————————

You’re smooshed around the same table again, and it briefly feels like fate is giving you a do over. Or it’s being cruel. You can’t really decide.

Zuko hadn’t touched you since he grabbed your hand. No one notices with all of the excitement, but you notice. And it’s bothering you.

Toph and Sokka are currently rematching their previous drinking game, and this time Suki is joining them. Katara and Aang are still making eyes at each other, engaged in a whispered conversation. Zuko is stiff beside you, looking at everyone else but you.

You think back to what you told him when this all started. “We both know I’d have to make the first move.” Zuko means everything to you, and his friendship does too. But now that you personally know what it’s like to kiss him, to dance with him, to hold his hand, you can’t let it go. You can’t go back to the way things were, and it’s time you do something about it.

“Let’s dance.” You say, and you grab Zuko’s arm leading him to the dance floor. It’s funny how the roles have reversed.

Zuko doesn’t protest, but he doesn’t seem overly enthused either. You’re not nearly as graceful or trained as he is when it comes to dancing, so you don’t quite integrate as smoothly with the other dancers. After a few bumps and apologies, Zuko rolls his eyes and takes the lead.

You let him whirl you around for a minute as you build up your nerve. His hands send tingles through your body everywhere they touch.

“Zuko...” you start. His eyes find yours and then you finally right your wrong and spit it out. “I wasn’t drunk.”

Ok so it was less poetic than you intended. You’re still doing better than before.

Zuko stares at you, and you know he’s waiting for you to finish.

“I kissed you, because I’m in love with you. I have been for a really long time, and I know you don’t feel that way about me. That’s why I ran. I was so scared that I had ruined our friendship forever.... but it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter?” Zuko asks, brows pinching together as he tries to decipher your meaning. His eyes are doing that thing where they pin you in place, but this time you let yourself feel it all. You’re done fighting.

“It doesn’t matter, because I can’t pretend anymore. I’m done fighting it Zuko. I love you, and I can’t pretend that I don’t.”

Slowly, Zuko’s lips curl into a smile and he starts leaning in.

“Are you drunk right now?” He asks. You shake your head, biting your lip to keep from smiling.

“No.” You say.

He leans even closer, and connects his forehead to yours. “How about now?”

“N-” but Zuko cuts you off with a kiss before you can finish your sentence.

This kiss is as passionate as the one before, except this time you fully lose yourself in it. Zuko kisses like he firebends, with an intensity and passion you’ve never experienced from anyone else. He pulls you to him, holding you there as he explores your mouth with his tongue. One of his hands sneaks up to cradle your face, and his thumb gently caresses your cheekbone.

When you finally pull away for air, you’re grinning. Zuko laughs a little breathlessly and rests his forehead on yours. He resumes your swaying.

“I’m case if that wasn’t clear, I love you too. When you ran away, I thought you were disgusted.” He laughs. You let your fingers trace over his face, his scar, and they finally stop on his lips.

You raise your eyes to meet his.

“Definitely not disgusted.” You say, and then kiss him again for emphasis. This kiss is sweeter and shorter. It’s a promise.

“So where does that leave us?” He asks, and it’s adorable how timid he sounds.

“Just us.” You tell him smiling. “And some kissing.”

A/N: Hey everyone, I know that this was super long but you all loved it so much I felt like you deserved it. I hope this lived up to everyone’s expectations:) Don’t forget to hit me up for requests, I do write for multiple fandoms. I’m going to get to my other requests this week, so keep an eye out for those. You can find everything I write under the tag slythergirlimagines. I hope I tagged everyone who asked, but if for some reason I missed you please let me know and I’ll add you!

Taglist: @darthsokaaa @a-random-queer-kid @astralsaf @myqueennadia @marvel-ing-at-it-all @galacticamidala @royahllty @whatthef-ckisupkyle @taeeemin @realimbo

[imma-fucking-nerd]

Promise Me

(Connor x Suicidal!Reader)

⚠️TW: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Drug/Alcohol Use, Mentions of Self Harm, Suicide Attempt⚠️

A/N: So as you can tell from the tw this one is going to be very dark and may be triggering for some readers. If you're going through a rough time and don't think you can handle reading depictions of these kinds of things PLEASE skip this one. I only feel comfortable writing about it because I've been living with depression and suicidal thoughts for a very long time, and writing comfort fics with my favourite fictional characters helps. Sorry for the long A/N I just want to make things clear and give a good warning.

————————————————

Your alarm clock blaring by you ears woke you up from your only escape from your reality, signalling it was 6am. Groaning, you lazily slapped the alarm off but made no attempt to get up. You knew you had work today but you just couldn't get yourself to stop staring up at the ceiling and into nothingness. What if you just didn't go in? Would anyone even notice? Would anyone even care?

No. No one cares. You're worthless.

And there it was. The voice in your head that sounded like your own yet betrayed you at every opportunity. Yet even so you couldn't help but believe it. After all, it was your thought wasn't it?

That's how it had always been.

Horrible words blending into your thoughts so seamlessly you managed to convince yourself they were normal. But no normal mind tried to tear itself down every time it was silent. That was the demon known as depression.

You've lived with this demon for as long as you've know. It was your normal. But recently it had been more and more frequent with it's hurtful words that spread through your mind like a deadly virus. The past couple of weeks had been especially difficult.

You tried everything you could to shift your mind to something else, anything else. You smoked pot, cigarettes, drank, you even slipped back into an especially dangerous copping mechanism. But none of those seemed to be enough. Every time they would come back. Your voice would spew venom at yourself in your own mind.

The only times you've managed to have any moment of peace was when you were asleep, or when you were with your only two friends. Hank, and Connor. You loved Hank, but it was Connors presence that really made you feel good. A feeling you longed to feel again every time he left. Was it just a silly crush? Or were you madly in love with him? Did it matter?

He would never love you back anyway.

Of all the thoughts that one might have hurt the most, because you knew it was actually true. He couldn't love you. He was, as he put it, 'a machine, designed to accomplish a task.' Therefore, it was a hopeless battle to think anything could come of it. Yet you still had hope. Maybe because you needed to have it to survive. Because if you didn't have that little hope, you might as well been dead.

It wasn't like you didn't have your reasons to hope, or maybe you really were that desperate. Connor was always so sweet to you, but then again e was sweet to everyone. Except Gavin. He would always get you a cup of hot chocolate in the mornings because you don't like coffee. Connor definitely didn't do that for anyone else. He does get Hank coffee in the mornings too. Then there was the fact you were one of the two people he talked to the most, aside from his detective work. Maybe he just pities you because he knows how fragile you are.

So, as you laid there staring up at the cieling, you decided to test that hope once and for all. See if there was anything to be hopeful about at all, or if he really was a machine who wouldn't love you the same way you loved him. You decided you weren't going to go to work that day, and you weren't going to call in either. If anyone were worried about you, if anyone even cared about you at all, they would check up on you, right?

Not if they don't even notice in the first place.

Hour after hour went by. No calls. At first you figured that it was still early and they probably just thought you were late. But you were never late, why would they think that? Aren't they worried? Not if they never cared to begin with.

At around 9am you couldn't take the overthinking anymore and just went back to sleep. You couldn't think if you weren't conscious. A little secret you learned in the game that is living. Sleeping was the best way to just escape. Especially if you were dreaming. That was the best part. Mostly because your dreams were the only place you could feel Connors arms around you, and his lips on yours.

When you woke up again it was 5 o'clock in the evening. However you didn't accomplish an impressive 8 hours of sleep uninterrupted. No, during that time you woke up just for a minute or two before going back to sleep at least a dozen times. That's usually how you slept most days. It almost felt weird when you sleep a long duration uninterrupted.

Glancing over at your phone, your heart dropped when you saw 0 notifications. Well, not including ones you got from youtube. You turned your phone off and tossed it onto a pile of clothes in the corner of your room.

Maybe they were just having a busy day and didn't notice you weren't there.

There was no way Connor wouldn't notice. He notices everything.

What you didn't know was that Connor was in fact not aware you weren't at the prescinct, but that was because he wasn't at the prescinct either. Connor and Hank had been called in to do a high stakes stakeout to bust a person who had been stealing and selling Cyberlife memorabilia illegally. They had to leave at around 4 am, way before you had to be at work. The entire time Connor was disappointed he'd have to break his streak of greeting one of his favourite people every day.

Truth was, Connor had grown quite attached to you. Despite the fact that he wasn't technically supposed to have any favorites. You were just so different from anyone else he had met. You were the first, and maybe only, human that actually referred to him as a friend. Or even treated him with a shred of decency in general. It made him feel....nice. You made him feel.

So, when the duo arrived at the office finally at around 4pm he noticed the lack of your presence immediately. He asked around the prescinct if anyone had seen you today and all of them, well the ones that actually talked to him, said they hadn't. He even went so far as to ask Fowler if you had called in only to be met with the same answer. Now he knew that was odd, that something was wrong.

He tried to call you when he was finished Hanks reports for him so the poor man could take a nap but you didn't answer your phone. Now he felt worried. A fact that only worried him more. However before he had the chance to go to your place to see if you were alright, he and Hank were needed to defuse a hostage situation at 6 pm. Of course, he immediately made his new mission his top priority, but every so often you would slip back into his mind.

It was currently 9 and you had managed to drag yourself from your bed to take care of your business in the bathroom a couple times since you had woken up. Everytime avoiding looking at your pathetic self in the mirror. But you would always go crawling back to the comfort of your bed. You didn't even leave your room yet. Not even to get anything to eat. It's not like you didn't want to, but whenever you thought about eating that damned voice in your head always ruined your appetite. So you just kept your eyes glued to your laptop as you laid buried under your blankets. YouTube was always a good distraction. That was until now.

Now that you glanced at the clock you were reminded of the fact that the work day had been over for you hours ago. The fact that no one seemed to care that you weren't there. You didn't even want to look at your phone. You already knew there weren't any missed calls or texts from anyone. No one cared enough.

If only you had actually looked, you would have seen how wrong you were. How wrong it was.

It was at 11pm when it was all just too much for you. Youtube wasn't doing its job in distracting you anymore and the thoughts just kept getting more and more persistent. The worst part was, you didn't even have the energy to fight them anymore. At this point, to you, they all just seemed to be facts. Like you were trying to get yourself to see the truth.

You weren't wanted.

You weren't needed.

You weren't missed.

You should just die.

You believed them.

Closing your laptop, you sat up in bed, letting your legs dangle off the side of the mattress. You looked down at your feet blankly. You couldn't even bring yourself to cry, you just felt numb as you prepared yourself for what you were about to do. Slowly, you got up and went to your bathroom. Once you were inside you made sure to avoid your own ruthless stare in the mirror.

You walked over to the bathtub and turned the nob of the faucet before sticking in the drain plug, not particularly caring about the temperature of the water. You weren't going to be using it for long anyways. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub you rolled up the sleeves of your hoodie and looked over your arms as you waited for the tub to fill. They were littered with many scars of many different ages. The oldest being more than a decade old, and the newest being only a mere few hours. You grabbed the razor from the sink and turned it over in your fingers. These next couple ones would be more permanent.

knock

knock

knock

The sound at your door didn't seem to reach your ears and were only met by silence. This caused Connor's LED to flicker into a pale yellow. Why weren't you answering? Were you harmed? The android tried knocking again, even calling out your name, but was met with nothing once more. He was just about to go and bust down your window like he had once done to Hank when said older man stopped him.

"Don't you even think about it," he said, pointing an accusatory finger at the android.

"But Lieutenant, (Y/n) might be-" Connor argued but was cut off when Hank held up the finger that was once pointing at him to signify 'one moment'.

Hank then bent down, with a little bit of a groan, before lifting up the corner of your welcome mat and plucking up a spare key. Once Hank stood back up with a huff, he shooed Connor away from the door before unlocking and opening it. Connor wasted no time cutting Hank off from the entrance and stepping inside.

Immediately upon entering Connor noted the complete darkness, but that didn't really matter much to him. Through the darkness he knew you weren't in the livingroom or kitchen, a fact made clearer when Hank flicked on the lights. However Connor also noted that there seemed to be no traces of a break-in or a struggle at all. At least not the definition of a struggle he was familiar with.

"(Y/n)?" he called out.

Silence

Connor moved through your home to where he assumed your bedroom. This was the first time he had entered your humble abode and under different circumstances he would've taken more time to investigate the surroundings. Get to know you a bit better. But right now that could wait until he was sure you were okay. He didn't know why it even seemed to be a priority but he couldn't just ignore it any longer.

Your room was just as dark as the rest of the house and also completely lacked your form. The only thing illuminating the room was the light coming from the bathroom which had it's door wide open. Before Hank could stop and scold him about the importance of privacy, Connor made a beeline towards the bathroom.

The sight that he had walked into made his LED flash a dangerous red and eyes widen. You were laying in your bathtub. Fully clothed. Water tinted pink. Your dangerously pale face. However it wasn't those small details that caused the android to suddenly rush over to your side. It was the two long gashes on both of your wrists. Upon scanning you he found that you had lost a lot of blood, but you were still alive. Barely, but he could work with that.

"Connor what the fuck are you- Jesus christ," Hank cut himself off once he saw for himself what was going on.

"Call an ambulance Lieutenant. (Y/n), (Y/n) can you hear me?" Connor managed to keep his voice calm and steady, a feat that took more effort than he would have liked.

The sound of Connor's voice, and feeling you body shift as he gently lifted you out of the cold water made your eyes gently flutter open. Your dulling (e/c) met with his worry written coffee brown ones.

"Connor...?" you called out weakly.

Despite the fact your vision was blurred from a mix of blood loss and building tears, you could recognize his form immediately. What you weren't sure of however was that if it was just a trick of the mond or not. A sense of comfort in your dying seconds.

"Yes (Y/n), it's me. I'm here, you're going to be okay," he said in the most reassuring tone he could muster.

As he spoke he took off his jacket and gently tied it around your left arm while doing the same with a towel for your right. Guilt and regret ate at you from the inside as you silently watched him, his LED still very red and blinking every so often. Hell you could even see the worry on his perfect features. Before you knew it tears started brimming your eyes before large droplets rolled down your pale cheeks.

"I-I'm sorry," you whispered, your voice cracking as your fragile body wracked with soft sobs.

Connor froze when he heard your little voice but it didn't take him another moment to hold you close to his chest.

"It's- It's going to be okay. It's all going to be okay (Y/n), I promise," Connors words were soft and confident, you almost believed him.

You heard what you thought was Hank's voice speak but you couldn't quite register what he said. It was becoming harder and harder to keep your eyes open. As if your eyelids suddenly weighed a million pounds. You shifted further into Connor and you barely heard him speak but the whole world seemed to be fading. Soon enough you closed your eyes and couldn't seem to open them again.

At least, not for several hours. When you did eventually flutter your eyes open again you were mixed with confusion, and then relief. You knew by the pristine white of everything, along with the abundance of machines you were hooked up to that you were in a hospital. As the memories of the previous night came flooding back your eyes dropped down to your newly bandaged arms, and an IV transferring blood into your system. Like last night, a deep sense of guilt, regret, and shame squeezed at your heart.

When your eyes wandered to your left you flinched slightly when you saw Connor standing next to the bed. His eyes were closed and his LED was gently flickering amber, you assumed he was in sleep mode. However as you jolted slightly at his presence, the sudden movement was enough to alert him back awake. His eyes fluttered open and were now on you, seemingly softening a tad the moment he registered it was you. Your eyes only met for a second before you shifted your gaze down to your hands. The guilt and shame made your eyes sting as tears threatened to form in full.

"How are you feeling, (Y/n)?" Connor asked, breaking the silence.

There was a certain sincerity you've never heard from him when he spoke. It made you heart clench but you weren't sure if it was in a good or bad way.

"I'm okay," you said, your voice hoarse and barely audible.

"Good, I'm glad," he replied.

There was another long silence between you two. The only thing keeping the room from being dead silent being the steady beeping and whirring of various machines. This time it was you who spoke up first.

"I'm s-sorry," you croaked.

Your voice was somehow quieter than before and it cracked near the end as your throat tightened up. You were trying desperately to hold back the tears but to no avail. Large teardrops fell from your eyes and rolled down your cheeks.

"I'm so so sorry," you continued, your body being wracked with heavy sobs.

Connor just stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do for a brief moment. His LED went from blue, to golden, and flickered a dangerous red before settling back to golden. Suddenly, he reached out to grasp your hand. His grip was firm yet gentle, and it captured your attention immediately.

Honestly, he didn't know why he did it. But the sight of your fragile and vulnerable form made his biocomonants feel like they were being crushed. Much like how he felt when he first saw you last night. Except it wasn't nearly as bad. Last bight he felt like someone ripped out his therium pump altogether.

That alone made him confused as to why he felt anything to begin with. It was a question he had been asking himself for a while. At least almost as long as he'd met you. He'd run a million diagnostics on himself and they'd always come back with everything working smoothly. Even after last night. It baffled him.

However at this moment, when you looked up at him with your big, glossy (e/c) eyes, he ceased to think about it. All that mattered right now was you. That was all the information he needed.

"You don't need to be sorry," he said softly.

You intertwined your fingers with his and practically held onto him for dear life. Connor noted how your stress levels seemed to go down at his touch, so he decided to take a seat next to you at the edge of the bed. Once you realized what he was doing you scoot over slightly to make more room.

"Everything is alright, just take deep breaths. Can you do that for me?" he asked soothingly, tilting his head ever so slightly.

You nodded and closed your eyes, focusing on nothing but taking deep breaths. Well, that wasn't the only thing you were focused on. You were also focused on Connors fingers that were laced with yours. It really did help. After what felt like hours, your breath seemed to finally stabilize, and so did Connor's LED, settling on a calm blue.

"May I ask you something (Y/n)?" Connor inquired, a question you heard him ask often.

You opened your eyes and looked up to him. You didn't respond right away, knowing exactly what it was he was going to ask, and you dreaded having to answer it. But eventually, after a few moments of him patiently watching you with those warm chocolate eyes, you slowly nodded.

"Why did you do it?"

His voice was softer than ever, and confusion was written all over your face as he tried to understand. You had to look away from him before you broke down again. A soft sight escaped you and he gave your hand a little reassuring squeeze. You knew you had to tell him, so you took a deep breath before speaking.

"I.... I felt worthless. Like nobody cared if I was gone," you spoke slowly, avoiding Connor's eyes at all cost.

"I stayed home today to see if anyone would care if I wasn't there. No one called. I thought that meant I was right. That I didn't mean anything to anyone. That I was a waste of space. That I should just.....just die," you continued, surprised at yourself at how you were able to keep it together.

Connor listened, his LED whirring golden as he processed the information. He then waited for a moment or two before responding. Wanting to be absolutely sure you were finished before he spoke.

"I assure you that I was aware you were missing as soon as I returned to the prescinct. I regret that I wasn't able to bring you your morning hot chocolate," Connor smiled slightly as he spoke, but it soon dropped along with his gaze before he continued.

"But what I regret more was that I wasn't fast enough to stop you. I'm sorry (Y/n)," the sorrow he held in his voice, and the flucking of his now amber LED made you squeeze his hand reassuringly.

"Connor, if it weren't for you I'd be dead. You saved me. You have nothing to be sorry for," you offered him a weak smile once his eyes returned to you.

Connor returned the smile. It was awkward but it wasn't forced, and it was adorable. His LED returned to sky blue, his chocolatey brown hues glancing down at your intertwined fingers. He gently stroked your knuckles with his thumb, the small action making heat rise up into your cheeks. For the first time since you had been awake, there was a comfortable silence for a few moments before Connor spoke up.

"(Y/n), can you promise me something?" his eyes flicked up to meet yours as he spoke.

"What is it?" you replied, subconsciously tilting your own head.

A habit you picked up from the adorable android.

"Promise me you won't try to take your life again?"

"I promise. But can you promise me something?" you implored.

"As long as it's within my capabilities, I'll try," he said sincerely.

"Promise me you won't forget about me."

"I think I can manage that," he said with a little playful smile before adding,

"I promise."

———————————————

A/N: OOF sorry if the end was kinda ass. And also sorry its so mf long. ALSO sorry its kinda dark. Hope y'all enjoyed anywayss 💙

[silver-wield]

I've never been deep in ff7 fandom. In fact, the first thing that got me into final fantasy anything was AC and that was just by chance because it was in my youtube recommendations. I had know idea about the shipping War that is the ff7 fandom. So I thought you were exaggerating how delusional some CA are until I read a post by theycallmeeljefe that the buster sword belonged to/represented Zack in ACC. In the comments a CA actually used a FREAKING ff7 themed PARFAIT CUP as proof that the buster sword is only cloud's and the ending of ACC where its left in the church with the flowers represents CA! (Like, Yes, the all knowing dessert transcends all!🙄🤦🏻‍♀️) How did they get that!? Especially when the devs went out of their way to make AC then ACC with all the added Zack scenes and his association with the buster sword in the film! If anything cloud is letting go of Aerith. During the entire movie cloud struggles with depression, guilt, not to mention a disease and by the end he's able to start moving on and be happy with the people he loves and who are still around. By leaving the items that represent Zack and aerith in the place where it all began for them (the church) Cloud is letting go of his guilt of both Zack and aerith's deaths while preserving the remembrance of his friendship with them. Letting both parties have closure and finally be at peace. Zack and aerith go back to the life stream together =zerith. Cloud and Tifa go back home with the kids= cloti. Cloud also stopped using the buster sword years ago and got a new one. Hence why it's left as a marker where Zack died and is all rusty in the beginning of the movie. Idc what people think but crisis core is canon. If it wasn't Zack wouldn't have been in the remake. Yes, in the og game it's clouds sword and everyone knows that but in crisis core we find out who the sword belonged to first and how cloud came to have it. Maybe instead of looking at parfait cups CA should actual just play the game...

Lmao that's probably Calli with the dessert. They need the sword to be Cloud's cause he puts it in the church at the end of AC, so if it's not Cloud's then their bs is debunked.

Oop 🤭

Cloud had that sword for like 6 weeks. He owned it for the least amount of time out of him, Zack and Angeal.

It starts off as Angeal's and we know his stepfather made it for him when he became a soldier, and he was 25 when he died (yeah Angeal is on my characters who need a nap list lol) so he owned the buster sword for let's say 10 years if he made SOLDIER at 15.

Zack owns the sword for a year after Angeal dies and then passes it on to Cloud.

FF7 takes place over 6 weeks. AC is two years later and we can see the sword is rusty af, so it's been out there a while. Cloud might have hung onto it until his fusion blade was made, so that's maybe another month or two, but yeah, he didn't even own the buster sword for as long as Zack and has no idea it originally belonged to Angeal since he didn't know him.

And that's not even the worst of their busted takes. I have most of the cult dumdums blocked so my twitter list of their bs isn't even a full list of the shit they say. They spend more time ruining the story than they do saying anything nice. They hate this game. They hate the way the idles move, they hate the cut scenes, the battle call outs, the gameplay. There's nothing they like apart from how pretty Cloud is because they want to bang him. Calling them shippers or fans is an insult to both groups, which is why I call them cult dumdums. They'll probably make a few more stupid statements and then when they finally realise Aerith's still dying and Cloud and Tifa are still a couple they'll scream that Remake isn't canon and only OG counts, even though OG is cloti too, and try to mod scenes to replace Tifa with Aerith, whine a bit more, but then hopefully slink off somewhere else so the rest of us can enjoy the whole game.

[flowerfan2]

One Night in Milwaukee - Ch. 6

(Now with my new cover art...)

David x Patrick, 2700 words this chapter (A03) 18k so far.  Read from the beginning here.

Summary:  Being stuck in the Milwaukee airport is bad enough. Then David realizes that the man who broke his heart is sitting right next to him.  After a rom-com worthy reunion, David and Patrick decide to give it another try.

Chapter 6

There’s a new lightness in the air as they settle back inside the house, David kicking back on the couch while Patrick pokes around in the kitchen.  He really does need to make a list and do a real grocery run – although he appreciates David’s efforts to save him the trouble.

David grumbles at his phone and stands up.  “Do you mind if I deal with this?  There’s a problem with a supplier, it’ll go faster if I just talk to her instead of sending endless e-mails.”

“Of course not, go ahead.”

Patrick watches David head back towards the bedroom, his phone already up to his ear.  Patrick’s glad that David is still involved with Rose Apothecary, even if it’s not what it used to be.  At least it means that some part of what they created together survived.

Patrick heard about what happened with the store itself from Stevie, how David relocated it near Toronto, but eventually closed down the physical location.  Stevie told Patrick that David’s heart didn’t seem to be in it anymore, but now that Patrick knows that David was depressed, he wonders how much Stevie knew.  Patrick wouldn’t have been able to do it, either – have the store, but not David.  It was always about the two of them together, left brain and right brain working in tandem.  If he had to run Rose Apothecary by himself, it would definitely have lost its heart.

Patrick finishes up the grocery list, the act of neatly putting down everything he needs soothing in its own right, and sits down on the couch with a glass of water.  He’s tired, again.  It seems like he can’t go ten minutes without wanting to lie down.  It’s been a week since he was hurt, and he thought he’d feel better by now.

Patrick remembers David scolding him, on the plane, for traveling so soon.  He probably has a point, but if Patrick hadn’t decided to get out of town, he wouldn’t have run into David, and that’s worth a lot more than sore ribs.

He leans back on the couch and closes his eyes, wincing as his muscles relax.  If he concentrates, he can hear David’s voice as he talks on the phone, the cadence familiar and reassuring.

Patrick wakes up to the tantalizing aroma of garlic sizzling in a pan.  He grabs his phone, dismayed to find that it’s almost six o’clock, the whole afternoon having gone by while he napped on the couch.

“Hey there,” David says, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek.  “You’re up just in time.  Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes or so, I was just getting ready to heat the water.

Patrick reaches for David, and David’s face lights up as he sinks onto the couch next to him and pulls him into a hug.  “Hi,” Patrick says, still half-asleep.  It feels too easy, to have David right here with him, to be breathing into his shoulder like nothing ever went wrong.

“Hi,” David responds, rubbing his palms over Patrick’s back.  “Have a good nap?”

“Sorry I slept so much.”  He almost resents missing the time with David.  Time with David is far more interesting than sleeping.

“Not a problem,” David says.  “Gave me the chance to take the Camry out for another spin.”

“Ugh, you did the shopping again?”  

“I did, and thanks, by the way, for the detailed list.  Although I’m not sure that you needed to specify back-ups for each of the items. I’m pretty sure I could figure out what brand of tomato sauce to buy if your top choice wasn’t available.”

“That list wasn’t meant for you,” Patrick grumbles.  “I just like having a plan.”

“I know, sweetheart, I know.”  David kisses Patrick again, and stands up despite Patrick’s grabby hands.  It feels so good to have David close to him, he doesn’t want to let go. “You go freshen up while I finish, if I don’t get the water going it’ll be forever until we can eat.”

Patrick uses the bathroom and puts some after-sun lotion on his face, where a bit of color is just appearing on his nose and cheeks.  It doesn’t take much.  He needs to remember to use sunscreen down here, or else he’s going to turn into a lobster.

When he comes out, David is working on the Bolognese, and there’s a large pot of water heating on the stove.  

“That smells great,” Patrick says, leaning around David to check out the sauce.  He lets his hand linger on David’s waist.  David has put on a pair of his own black jeans, but he’s still wearing Patrick’s dark green t-shirt from this morning.  It stretches enticingly across David’s shoulders as he stirs the pot.

“You still like this, right?”  David asks.  “You haven’t become a vegetarian, or anything like that?”

Patrick laughs.  “If didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have put the ingredients on the list.”  

David has set out dishes and silverware on the kitchen island where they had their breakfast.  The room also has a small round table, but it’s covered in piles of all the junk mail that has been delivered since his parents were last here, and the groceries David bought this afternoon.

There’s a bottle of wine there too, the one Patrick had listed as his top choice on the list he made earlier.  It’s an easy to drink table red that he remembered being able to buy when he was visiting his parents last winter, with a very high class screw top.  He thinks David will like it, and it will pair well with the tomato sauce.

Patrick opens the bottle and searches around in the cabinets for two matching wine glasses.

“Oh, um, none for me, thanks,” David says as Patrick sets the two glasses down next to their plates.

“You sure?  It’s not fancy, but it’s not as bad as Herb’s fruit wine, either.”  Patrick is surprised, but not particularly so, not until he turns and sees the deer-in-headlights look on David’s face.  “David?  You okay?”

“What?  Oh, yeah.  It’s fine.”

Patrick watches David as he slowly empties the box of pasta into the boiling water, giving the task quite a bit more attention than it needs.  Deciding not to push, he screws the cap back on the bottle of red and puts it down on the table, and exchanges the wine glasses for water glasses.

David turns to him, his face scrunched up and pained.  “You can have wine.”

“Nah, it’s okay.”

“No, I mean, just because I’m not having any, it’s okay if you do.”  

“I get that, thanks.”

David shakes his head.  “So why did you put the wine away?”

“It’s not as much fun if it’s just me.”  Patrick realizes that this might not be the best thing to say as soon as the words leave his mouth, but he can’t quite figure out how to fix it.  

After a few moments of awkward silence, David speaks up, keeping his eyes on the stove.  “I’m not an alcoholic.  And I’m not going to fall off the wagon if there’s a glass of wine in my vicinity.”

Patrick thinks back to the many evenings they spent curled up on the couch with a glass of wine, whether something cheap from Brebner’s or a reserve vintage they nabbed from the store.  He’s never known David to have a problem with alcohol.  Between the two of them, Patrick was the lightweight, and much more likely to get tipsy.  Clearly there has to be a reason for David’s decision to abstain, whether it qualifies as alcoholism or not, but given how nervous David looks, Patrick wants to tread lightly.

“You can tell me as little or as much as you want to about why you’re not drinking, David.  It’s okay no matter what the reason.”

Patrick’s standing close enough to David that he can see him swallowing hard, trying to keep his composure.  The last thing he wants is to send them off the rails into another emotional meltdown.  David clearly feels put on the spot, and that’s not what he meant to do.  He certainly doesn’t want David to feel like he’s being judged.  It would be the worst kind of hypocrisy at this point.

Patrick clears his throat a little, not sure how to launch this discission, but then decides to jump right in.  “You know, the night I was attacked, with Jamie, I was hammered.  Wasted.  I made some bad decisions that I probably wouldn’t have made if I was sober.”

David steps away from the pot of boiling water and stares at Patrick.  “What are you talking about?”

Patrick recognizes David’s “I need a minute to catch up” phrase, and understands.  He wishes he could have found a way to work this into conversation more smoothly, but there is a connection, and he needs to get it out.  However he goes at it, the explanation is a rough one, and Patrick’s been stumbling over it in his own mind for a week now.  At least if he manages to spit it out, he might be able to come to terms with it.

“My aunt had asked me to get together with Jamie to check in on him, saying he was having a hard time at university.  But really she was asking Jamie to check in on me.  I wasn’t doing well – I hadn’t found a new job, wasn’t even really looking, and I was pretty miserable.  So I let Jamie convince me that going out with him and his college friends was a good look for a thirty-something guy, and I sat at the bar all night and drank tequila shots.”

“But you don’t even like tequila,” David says, breathless.

“No, I don’t.  It’s disgusting.”

“It is.” David nods sympathetically. He takes Patrick by the arm and pulls him out of the kitchen, sitting him down on the couch and letting his hands rest on his shoulders.  “Okay.  Tell me the rest.”

Patrick is almost thankful that David won’t let him end the story there.  It’s time to get it out.  “Jamie was flirting with another guy, some other kids started talking shit, and I got up to intervene, thinking I would save the day and defend him.  I imagined myself some kind of hero.  But I was so drunk, whatever I was saying was just making it worse.  I wasn’t being clever, I was just being loud and aggressive.  Jamie dragged me outside, trying to avoid trouble.  But the asshole kids followed us out, and that’s when it got physical.”

“Patrick.”  David’s eyes are wide, and he stares at Patrick for a long moment, then pulls him into his arms.  “I’m so sorry,” David says, holding him tight.  “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry too,” Patrick says.  “It’s fucking embarrassing.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong-”

“I kind of did,” Patrick corrects him, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his face into David’s hair.  “I’m not blaming the victim here, but this was more your run-of-the-mill bar fight than a hate crime.  I was blitzed off my ass, I said some stupid stuff to some hyped-up kids practically half my age, and I got beat up.”

“You only got in a fight because you were defending your cousin,” David says.  “Who was the target of homophobic animals.”

“I’ll accept 90% bar fight, 10% hate crime,” Patrick says, sinking into David’s embrace.

“At least fifty-fifty.”  David’s big hand is holding Patrick’s head against his own.  Patrick shifts a little, and then he’s sitting in David’s lap, surrounded by David’s arms, his scent, his breath.

“I feel like an idiot,” Patrick says softly, and David shakes his head in denial.  

“You’re not an idiot.”

“Wouldn’t you be embarrassed if you got yourself into that situation?”  Patrick asks.

David rubs his hands up and down Patrick’s back, and his sore muscles twinge, but Patrick doesn’t pull away.  It feels too good to be wrapped up in David like this.  “Maybe a little.  But they <i>assaulted</i> you.  No matter what you said to them, that’s criminal.”  David turns his face and his nose presses into Patrick’s hair.  “Did you talk to the police?  Do you want to talk to our lawyer?  Now that my family has money again, she’s returning our calls.”

“No, I reported it, the guy who kicked me is probably pleading out.  I didn’t want to have to deal with it.”

“And so you booked a flight to Florida.”

“I did.”

The timer on the stove goes off and they both jump, Patrick regretting it instantly as his ribs protest.

“Oh, god, sorry, are you okay?” David babbles, his hands reaching to steady Patrick as they untangle themselves.

“I’m fine,” Patrick says with a smile.  He gives David’s hand a squeeze and then they make their way into the kitchen to deal with their dinner, Patrick searching for a strainer for the pasta as David turns off the heat.  They work together easily, plating their food and digging in, and their conversation returns to mundane things like whether Patrick’s version of Bolognese is appropriate even though it’s made with ground beef, and why flat pasta tastes better than round pasta.  

They’ve finished loading the dishwasher and putting away their leftovers when David stops wiping the counter and turns to Patrick, one hand on his hip.  “So, you don’t care if I don’t drink?”  David’s face is studiously neutral, but Patrick can tell he’s nervous about Patrick’s answer.

“Nope.  I really don’t.  It’d be good for me to stop, too.  At least for a while.”

David holds Patrick’s gaze, and for a moment Patrick thinks he’s going to argue, but then he just nods.  “Okay.”

“Okay.”

They migrate to the couch, and David turns on another cooking show (this one has the contestants running through a grocery store to find their ingredients, and it makes Patrick think about David at the nearby supermarket this afternoon, patiently going through Patrick’s ridiculously detailed list to find the 15 oz cans of organic, fire-roasted petite diced tomatoes), and before he knows it Patrick is nodding off.

“Hey.”

Patrick opens his eyes, finding David looking at him from the other end of the couch.

“Want to go to bed?”

Patrick squints to see the time on the clock in the kitchen.  “It’s not even nine.”

David shrugs.  “So?”  He stands up and holds out his hand.  “I’m open to an early night.”

It should bother him, this coddling from David, but it doesn’t.  After he got beat up, Patrick had quickly turned away his parents’ suggestion that he come home to recuperate.  At the time he was too upset about where he had ended up – alone, unemployed, and frankly feeling like an idiot for having let his life turn into such a mess – to let his family take care of him.  He can’t believe it was only a week ago.  And it was only forty-eight hours ago that he ran into David in the Milwaukee airport.  It’s crazy how quickly everything has changed.

Patrick takes David’s hand and lets him help him up off the couch.  He leans into David and tucks his face in the crook of his neck, and David hums reassurance and pats his shoulders.  David smells like garlic and onions and Rose Apothecary body milk, and Patrick wants to stay here forever.

“Sorry, you’ll fall asleep on your feet, and that won’t work for either of us,” David says, and Patrick realizes he must have said that last bit out loud that.  No harm done, it seems.

They take turns in the bathroom, and get changed into sleep clothes, David wearing the same striped t-shirt Patrick remembers from way back at Ray’s house.  “Okay if I read for a while?” David asks, propping a pillow behind himself.  He blinks at Patrick, his dark lashes hypnotizing, until Patrick rouses himself enough to respond.

“Of course.”  Patrick slides under the covers and tucks himself against David almost automatically, his drowsiness letting him get away with it without even feeling awkward.  David curls his arm around Patrick’s body, holding him close, and Patrick drifts off feeling better than he has in a long, long time.

[justniaaa]

Unravel Me (4)

Gif by: @blackisblackisblack​

Rating 18+NSFW

Work Count: 3.4k

Pairing: Christopher “Rio” Martinez xblack!oc

Warning: Swearing, mentions of a gun

A/N: Hey my loves! I’ve missed you guys so much, so sorry for the late update. I’m not going to lie and say it wont happen again because it most likely will but I wasn’t expecting to be gone for so long. Anxiety/ Depression is a fucking bitch bro and like I said before even if my posting isn’t constant, I always want to make sure to give you guys content. Thanks for you for rocking with me and Enjoy chapter 4! Happy reading and please dont forget to like, comment and reblog <3

Summary: Toni forms an unsuspecting friendship with Christopher that turns into something more. As her feelings towards him continue to grow she starts to  unravel the secrets that surround him and in return, he unravels her completely.

Chapter 4: Let the games begin

After the eventful night between Toni and Chris, it was like the days went by rather quickly and before she knew it, Friday was here and Toni’s nerves were coming along for the ride. When she came home that night and told her girls about what transpired with her and the mysterious business mogul they gave out beaming smiles and all three of them jumped around, excited that Toni was going out on a date. And of course, don’t even get her started on Aaliyah, the woman was more than elated, and every chance she got she made sure to bother Toni about her new “boyfriend.”

Toni was walking in from work at Print Monthly and let out a yawn. Working two jobs, and writing a new article was slowly catching up with her, but with enough caffeine, she thinks she could make it through. She took off her heels and placed her keys on the entrance table trying to stifle yet another yawn, that was on its way out of her mouth. As she went further into the apartment she didn’t hear any movement from either of the girl’s rooms so she figured she was home alone. Toni went into her room not caring to turn on the light since she had a small night light in the corner and shut the door. She dropped her purse on the floor and took off her clothes, only leaving on her bra and panties. Toni sighed and shuffled to her bed, face planting into it as she wrapped her sherpa throw around her body. Since the AC was fixed the day before her place was nice and cool and all she wanted to do was take a small nap.

But before she could float away to unconsciousness her door was rushed open and the light flicked on, “Oh no bitch, get up!”

Toni groaned hearing Rocky’s voice and covered her face with the blanket, wishing for  a couple of minutes of sleep, “Antonia Kelis Thompson, up now!”

The blanket was ripped away from Toni, and she put her face into the pillow, “Just five minutes,” she groaned.  

“No, get up! Sage made you a smoothie to help with your energy before she left for the grocery store and you need to drink it so we can get you together for tonight.”

Toni turned her head and looked at Rocky, she was standing next to her bed with her eyebrow raised and a hand on her hip and the other was outstretched with said green smoothie in her grasp.

“It’s only six Rocky, we meet up at nine.”

True to his word, Chris hit her up and they set up a time and place to meet up, the place being an escape room to which Toni was particularly thrilled about. She had always wanted to go to one and she vaguely remembered mentioning it to him on one of their morning talks at the cafe. After they arranged their night out they continued texting each other throughout the day and it felt good to have that feeling of giddiness whenever she heard her phone ding and it possibly being him.

Toni huffed and sat up, sitting cross-legged on her bed and took the drink from Rocky’s hand. Taking a few sips she scrunched up her face from the taste but soldiered on when she saw the look Racquel gave her. When she finally finished the last bits of the smoothie, she put the glass on her nightstand and turned back to her friend.  

“All finished, what’s next on the list warden?”

Racquel rolled her eyes, “So damn dramatic, go take a shower and I’ll dive into that mess  you call a closet to find you something to wear.”

Toni stretched her limbs as she stood up from the bed while Rocky shooed her to the bathroom grabbing her towel from the back of the door in the process.

“And don’t forget to shave bitch!” Rocky yelled out.

“I shaved my legs yesterday, why the hell am I going to do them again?” Toni said poking her head out from the doorway, her confusion was evident.

“I’m not talking about your legs, girl,” Raquel said, winking. Toni didn’t plan on sleeping with Chris tonight but with how crazy the attraction was between them anything was possible. So with understanding and gratitude, Toni simply nodded and backed into the bathroom, closing the door and getting to work.

After the long half-hour of exfoliation, shaving, and showering, Toni came out of the bathroom feeling fresh and squeaky clean and walked into the sight of her bed strewn with clothes. She took in the sight of her best friends arguing with a piece of clothing in their hands about which outfit would work best. She chose to ignore them knowing that whatever they picked would be applicable and tightened the towel on her form, going to her vanity to do her makeup and hair. The girls interrupted her a few times showing her what they chose and Sage helped Toni curl her hair in the back. Music and bouts of laughter were heard throughout the home and the minutes ticked by getting closer to when Toni was deemed to leave. She was just putting on her light blue jeans when her phone went off, interrupting the song that was playing on her Bluetooth. Rocky and Sage continued talking about whether she should wear heels or sneakers, and Toni finished buttoning her pants walking over to her device. The name Chris was on her screen, and before the voicemail picked up she answered.

“Hello,” she said.

“There she is, thought you weren’t gonna answer,” Chris’s smooth voice came through the phone, making Toni’s stomach flutter with butterflies. She could vaguely hear noises of machinery in the background but she didn’t think anything of it because as quickly as the noise came it was gone, like he went into a separate room.

“I mean I didn’t have to pick up, especially since you're interrupting me getting ready for my date,” Toni sat down on the bench at the end of her bed.

“Oh, word? Who’s the lucky man?”

Toni looked down at her nails, “Some guy I met a couple of weeks ago, he ain’t all that but I decided to have mercy and give him a chance.”

Chris laughed into the receiver, “I bet he’s hype as fuck to take your pretty ass out.”

Toni shrugged like he could see her, “I mean, I am kind of great.”  

“That you are Antonia, that you are.”

Toni covered her mouth with her fingers, trying to control the megawatt smile that was threatening to break out. They knew each other barely a month and already the way Chris made Toni feel was slightly alarming. “Is everything okay though, because if you need to change the time or something that’s fine.”

“Nah we good, just wanted to check up on you. And make sure I wasn’t gonna do an escape room by myself.”

“No worries, I’ll be there,” Toni said grinning.

“Aiight, so I’ll see you soon yeah?”

“Yes, sir nine o’clock.”

Chris chuckled, “Aight mama, later.”

Toni hung up and put her phone back on the charger, “I’m guessing from all the flirting we just heard, that was him,” Sage asked.

She shook her head, “Yeah, he was calling to make sure we were still on tonight.” Toni went and looked at the shoe options they picked out, thankful that her friends lended out a helping hand.  

“We think the all-white Nike’s would look great with your outfit. Plus it will give your feet a break from the heels and you can run around as you play the game with your boyfriend,” Rocky smirked when Toni gave her a dirty look at her use of the “B” word.

“I agree,” she told them. After bending down to put her sneakers on, Toni stood up and examined her outfit in the mirror, liking how it looked. The white bodysuit accentuated her curves and the light blue jeans and sneakers really brought everything together, making her feel comfortable but be cute at the same time. Toni sprayed her perfume and got her crossbody bag and phone, listening to her friends give her a pep talk as she walked to the front door.

“We put some wipes in your bag and some mints as well just in case your breath gets hot,” Sage said, following behind Toni.

“Oh yes and some pepper spray if he decides to get handsy,” Raquel continued, bringing up the rear, “You never know he can turn into an asshole when the clock strikes twelve.”

Sage gave Rocky a glare and nudged her, “I doubt it will come to that, Racquel but it is always good to be safe.”

“Yes, it is,” Rocky grumbled, rubbing her sore side. Sage may be small but her elbow had some power behind it.

Toni turned to them when they reached the door, “Thanks guys for all the help.”

“We got your back girl, you know that.”

“And have fun tonight please, you deserve it and it will do you good to get some dick. It might help you stop being so damn uptight.”

“Sage!” Toni gasped, hitting the girl’s arm while Rocky stood next to her nodding in agreeance.

“I can’t stand you guys.” Toni picked up the keys she left on the small table by the door and opened her arms, “Alright give me some loving.”

They all came in for a group hug, just like they always did back in college, “Love you hoes,” Toni murmured.

“We love you too,” Sage and Rocky said together.

*****************************************************************************************************

Pulling into the parking lot Toni texted Chris letting him know she had arrived and while she waited on his reply she stared down at her phone and went through her social media. Suddenly a knock on her window made her jolt in the seat and look up with a hand to her chest. She let out a breath when she saw it was Chris at her window, his eyebrow raised and his mouth curved into a smirk.

“Geez Chris, you scared the shit out of me,” Toni exclaimed through the closed window.

She reached next to her, to get her purse and took her keys out of the ignition, placing them and her phone into her bag. She unlocked the door and he opened it for her, a smile still residing on his lips, “My bad ma, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Toni side-eyed him as she got out, “Liar, you know damn well it’s too dark for your ass to be playing games.”

“Oh shit, don’t tell me big bad Antonia is scared of the dark.” Chris closed her car door behind her and Toni hit her key fob locking the vehicle. They began walking through the sparsely lit up parking lot, heading towards the building that had MadeYa Look Escape Room in bright lights at the front.

“Listen, frightening things live in the night, so don’t shame me.”

Chris chuckled as they walked side by side, his hands behind his back, “Nah, no shaming here baby. I used to be the same way, years ago.”

Toni felt a jolt at this new nickname, she hadn’t been called baby from the opposite sex in years and it made her feel warm inside to be hearing it from him. Toni decided to play it cool and not show how much the term of endearment affected her, but she secretly promised herself she would gush about it later in the privacy of her home.

“What made you stop being scared?” Toni asked as they finally reached the entrance.

She went to open the door but his ring covered hand was suddenly on top of hers, making her palm sweat on the cool metal of the handle, “When I became the scary thing to the monsters.”

Toni noticed the sudden shift between them as she gazed into his dark brown orbs. You would think after a statement like that she would be afraid but she felt perfectly fine, safe even. She didn’t know what to think about that, so she intended to not think about it at all.

“I forgot to tell you earlier but you look beautiful,” Chris said, his eyes not leaving hers, he was close enough that he could hear her breath stutter but didn’t comment. Toni bit her lip and pushed a piece of hair behind her ear.

“You got your nose pierced,” she said, surprised. Toni saw the faint glint of the piercing from the glare of the lights and even though she never dated a guy with one it was different and it fit him perfectly.

Chris took note of the change of subject but he nodded anyway and ran his tongue across his bottom lip, making it shine, “You like it?”  

“It’s cute,” She said with faux disinterest. Just like last time, with the close proximity they were in Toni could smell his cologne that was dark and subtle. They would kiss if she stood on her tiptoes.

“You ready for me to whoop your ass in this game?” Chris teased, and just like that the spell was broken and the light-hearted flirting came back into play.

Toni scoffed, grateful for the break from the tension “Please, the question is are you ready?”

With her hands still encompassed in his, they both opened the door and went to the front desk to pay and get instructions. The brunette clerk who they later learned was named Debbie was none the wiser to the something that transpired moments before, as she explained rules and questioned which room they wanted to play. While the middle-aged woman was talking, he had his hand rested on the small of Toni’s back and tried as she might she couldn’t focus on anything else but the heat of his palm. Luckily, another couple came in after them and they were able to play against the pair in the zombie apocalypse escape room. Before the game started Toni and Chris set up a bet for whoever solved the most clues even though they were on the same team. Toni ran her hand through her loose curls to put her hair up in a ponytail waiting for the countdown and noticed Chris’s outfit, “You don’t think you’ll get hot running around in your jacket?”

As per usual Chris was clad in all black but he had on a jean jacket over a black shirt this time rather than a regular button-up.  

“I’m straight,” Chris said nonchalantly. Before she could interrogate him further, Debbie’s voice came onto the intercom letting them know she was starting the countdown. Quickly, ten seconds turned to one, and the game began.

*****************************************************************************************************

The couple walked out of the room breathless and delighted with how well the game turned out. They beat the newlyweds by a landslide with one minute to spare, and unfortunately to Chris’s exasperation, Toni solved most of the clues and now she had full reign over tonight.

“Congrats guys!” The clerk complimented as she handed them two free t-shirts for winning and even offered to snap a picture of them to put on their winner board. Chris declined grumbling about how he hated taking pictures but of course, when Toni gave him puppy dog eyes and reminded him she was the captain of tonight he grudgingly relented. Only on the grounds of them taking the photo on their personal phones and that Toni promised not to rag on him the rest of the date.  

Toni gave the woman her phone already opened to the camera app and they both took their place in front of the winner’s board. She didn’t know where to position herself, not wanting to be too much in Chris’s personal space if he wasn’t comfortable with it, but he made the decision for her when he put his arm on her shoulders and brought her in close, making Toni’s palms sweat. She quickly decided to wrap her arms around his waist praying he couldn’t feel her heart practically beat out her chest when she leaned against his side. They both looked at the camera with big smiles earning an “Awww you two are adorable!” from Debbie.

As Toni went to pull away, she brushed against something solid and what felt oddly like steel under his jacket. Stepping back Toni pondered over the fact that the object that she touched was most likely a gun and that was probably the reason why he didn’t want to take off his jacket before the game.

“Here you go hun,” Debbie said, passing Toni her phone.  

Toni graciously thanked her while she took the device and tried to school her features. She knew people had guns, even her father had some locked away at his house but something about him hiding it made her stomach roll.

They went out into the cool night and Toni walked next to Chris quietly still thinking, “So where to boss, since you running shit now.”  

A beat passed and she could see Chris in her peripheral take a look at her, wondering why she wasn’t responding.

“You good mama?” He inquired.

 She was acting like such a dumb ass, it wasn’t like he was her boyfriend he didn’t have to necessarily tell her why he had a gun and she was fine when he told her the monsters were afraid of him. So why did the gun affect her so much?

Toni looked over at him seeing his brows knitted in worry and decided to push the issue aside for a second. “Yep, but the real question is are you good after that ass whooping I gave you? Mr. I’m gonna win just watch.”

Chris groaned, “I thought you promised you wasn’t gonna flame me.”

“Obviously I lied, I just wanted you to stop whining and take the damn picture.”

“Nah, I just think you wanted a pic so you could look at it and fantasize about me all the time.”

Toni snickered and pushed him, “Please, don’t flatter yourself.”  

They were still talking when they finally reached her car. Toni leaned against her door, she could see his Range a couple of spaces from hers. “So what now Antonia?”

He asked while he stood in front of her, his hands in his pockets.

“Not sick of me yet?” Toni wondered, tilting her head.

“Never that darlin’.’”

Toni cleared her throat feeling her cheeks burn, damn him, he knew exactly what the hell he was doing. Not wanting to put it off any longer she made the choice to just ask him about the gun, not wanting to proceed with the night without being in the know.  “Can I...ugh this is probably so stupid but can I ask you a question first before we leave here?”

He straightened when he heard the way she stuttered like she was worried about questioning him, “Go ahead.”

Toni crossed her arms, “You can tell me it's none of my business and honestly it’s not that big of a deal but is there a reason why you didn’t want to tell me you were carrying a gun? I felt it while we were taking the picture.”

She was expecting him to get upset about her interrogation  but his posture went lax, seeming happy that that was what she wanted to ask.

“I didn’t say anything ‘cause I wasn’t sure if it was gonna freak you out. I use it for protection only and I should have told you instead of assuming.”  

Toni sighed and rubbed her forehead, “No, I apologize it just took me by surprise is all. I knew someone that carried and it always seemed like he used it more to showcase how much of a dick he was rather than use it as a safety precaution.”

“Hey,” Chris raised Toni’s chin, making her focus on him. “Don’t ever be scared to ask me somethin’.  Even if I don’t like the question, imma always try and give you as much of the truth that I can, aight?”

“Okay,” Toni said.

“Okay,” Chris dropped his hand and grabbed Toni’s holding it in his grasp, still looking at her, “So we gonna chill in this parking lot all night or we gonna go to the next spot?”

Toni lightly squeezed his hand with a mischievous glint in her eye, “I know the perfect place.”

“Aiight then,” Chris walked to the passenger side of her car waiting, “Let’s go.”

“You’re not gonna drive your car?” Toni wrinkled her nose, puzzled whilst unlocking the car.

Chris opened the door and simply said, “Nope I trust you,” before getting into the vehicle leaving Toni speechless.

Toni let out a harsh breath and whispered “This man is too fine,” getting into the car as well. It seemed like their night had only begun.

Tag list: @aria725 @kikilovesdankmemes​ @briannab1234​

[maariarogers]

Why Webtoon!Suho is Superior and K-Drama!Suho Needs To Catch Up 👏

Hello, everyone!

Am I here again with another semi-controversial meta? Why, I might be.

If you’d like to catch up with my last meta, which was: Thoughts On True Beauty and Why I’m On Team Suho, you’re going to get a whole butt-load of information on why I’m mostly a Lee Suho-simp, thank you very much.

With that said, to cut the story short, I’ll be listing down some points I’ll be bringing up on this particular topic. Feel free to skip some points if that’s your cup of tea, or if you’re just cruising and find that the points I’m bringing up are not of your interest at all and you’re scrolling by? That’s fine too!

If you’re sticking around though, thank you!

The Points:

Intro: What Do I Mean?           a.k.a. What’s The Deal With Suho (Again)?

Webtoon!Suho vs. KDrama!Suho           Is K-Drama Suho ‘Mary Sue’?

Why K-Drama!Suho Needs To Step Up

How K-Drama Lowkey Didn’t Capture Seojun and Suho’s Friendship

Conclusion: #TeamJugyeong

Full disclosure: I absolutely, completely adore True Beauty — both the drama and webtoon — and this is purely written from my own point of view, based on the thoughts I’ve accumulated by my own deductions. There certainly will be criticism, but mostly I just want to put it out there to hear out what others are also objectively thinking about this. So, let’s go!

I will try to make this one short, but let’s see how this goes :D

Now.

Intro: What Do I Mean? a.k.a. What’s The Deal With Suho (Again)?

To start this, if you’ve read my first meta, then you would know first-hand that I’m completely fascinated with Suho. That is, the webtoon version that’s been presented of him. I find him intriguing for a character that is quite “dull” — but only because that dullness played a part more than just him being a “cool” and “distant” character.

I’ve mentioned before that I do critically think Suho is clinically depressed. It’s actually proven in the original Webtoon that, especially after Seyeon’s death, he went to a therapist and was taking medications for it. Though I’m not quite sure if he’s still following any medical routine in this current arc (the adult arc), we do see a recurring theme in Suho wherein he seemed to struggle with finding any proper passion, it became an important plot device when it was made clear to him that “he never tried hard enough [for anything]”. and him falling back into a certain habit (studying) to avoid the sadness.

(I’m not quite sure the exact quote, but it’s been mentioned again that he was studying to distract himself when his sister confronted him about it.)

I find the way the author portrayed what I’ve perceived as a protagonist with this prominent mental illness was quite refreshing? Not in the way that it glorified the mental illness or the trauma Suho was experiencing which some authors or dramas tend to do, no — what the author had planted was precise, it was realistic.

Suho struggled in a way that’s consistent (from his teen years up to his adulthood, I mean), but you can’t really tell. And that’s the thing with mental illness, a lot of the time, we don’t really see it – but it’s there. In Suho’s case particularly, it doesn’t just go away when Seyeon’s death was finally accepted and the friendship between Seojun and Suho were amended. It’s still there.

That’s quite intricate for the author to do, isn’t it?

Of course, there is so much more to Suho — which I think I’ll be implying here and there throughout this meta — but if you’d like to read more on it, the first meta is just me fangirling from the start till the end.

Now that that’s over with...

Webtoon!Suho vs. KDrama!Suho

I think I briefly mentioned that, for a moment there, I was kinda scared — but also superbly interested and excited – when they announced that True Beauty will be adapted to a drama.

For the first few episodes, especially episodes 1 - 6, it was super engaging, it was sweet, and the chemistry between the casts were absolutely *chef’s kiss*

Now, episode seven was where it went a little downhill for me.

I’ve always had a slight problem with how they’ve portrayed Suho being a “fighter” — that is, him picking up Jiu Jitsu in the drama.

Now, I know! I know! I have the same thought — the drama and the webtoon are two completely different adaptions that really mirrored one another based on characters and premise, and that’s about it. I’ve made peace with that, I enjoyed it even! But I was still a bit iffy about this particular trait because, for me particularly, it was important for me that Suho wasn’t perfect.

And guess what? He wasn’t.

In the webtoon, Suho can’t fight. The one time Seyeon and him almost got into a fight when they were in middle school, Seojun was the one who actually had experience in street fighting or brawling to defeat the bullies. And this is quite important, especially if you’ve been a writer or an author or, hell, even an audience to these mediums, “perfect” characters can often become “mary sue”.

But the thing about the k-drama is, Suho’s ability to fight was purposeful — which was why it was okay for me in the end. It was a way to introduce his father and the strained in relationship they had, he faced foes several times, and, most importantly, he had to protect Jugyeong (karaoke scene).

Now that I’ve seen (SPOILER FOR PREVIEW EPISODE 9) that he could also be musically-inclined? ...yikes. And, yes, okay, I get it! The actor is an idol, so it’s a great homage to his career, but it was still...

It felt like the writers were desperate to fill the gaps for Suho possibly being “dull” as this typical cool and distant character — when, in reality, Suho’s existence as is was quite enough. He didn’t need to steal Seojun’s fighting ability, and he especially didn’t need to rob Seyeon’s musical passion too, to be interesting and have depths of his own, do you get me?

In fact, he was without all of that, and his romance — however short-lived — with Jugyeong was still so sweet and enjoyable in the webtoon. And that’s the appeal of Suho, I think; Suho doesn’t need to be “more” for Jugyeong (like, all he did was study and read horror comics with Jugyeong), just as Jugyeong doesn’t have to appear “more” (with her make-up etc) for them to be interesting to each other. They like one another in spite all of that.

To be honest, if they had made the room about Suho’s mom, which would've thrown people off because “aren’t we still stuck in the Seyeon Arc”?, that’d be an interesting plot line since I have a feeling that the webtoon will be using that as a major plot device soon BUUUUUUT that’s a theory for another day! So—

Why 👏 K-Drama!Suho 👏 Needs 👏 To 👏 Step 👏 Up 👏👏👏

Because, honey, being unnecessarily possessive doesn’t look good on you.

I’m so, SO GLAD that Seojun actually talked some sense into him! Seojun’s absolutely right! In the end, it’s up to Jugyeong who she will choose as her romantic partner! All this, him-walking-in-and-demanding-Jugyeong-to-come-to-him-in-the-slightest-chance-she’ll-be-going-out-with-another-guy is getting boring. And you know what, my guy, you haven’t even asked her out or anything! (Besides from THAT scene at the end of Ep 8, you know what I mean lol)

Like, I didn’t mind when he was just following her because he was curious and jealous, and that led him to quietly “put a stop” to Jugyeong's blind date because the man obviously had bad intentions. I also understood when he threatened Semi Lee’s boyfriend into apologising. That’s fine - while he was manipulating the situation, it wasn’t exactly him telling and/or demanding Jugyeong to blindly follow him and/or go with him or anything.

I actually find it so, so sweet when it became a common phrase between them for Suho to always ask Jugyeong how she’s doing ( “Are you okay?” ) because that’s essentially what his character builds up to: this protector, that goes beyond keeping Jugyeong’s bare-face a secret. He’s really out there making sure Jugyeong is safe, and that’s okay!

That was the character he was establishing to be.

But then the writers pulled out this obsessive and possessive jerk out of their ass? That isn’t Suho. That’s contradicting through the whole build-up of Suho and Jugyeong’s characters from episode one to six. The whole point of why they leaned on one another is because they trust each other so, so, so much.

But in episode seven, Suho was falsely blaming Jugyeong (for sleeping when he was the one who napped) just because he’s “flustered”, taking it out on her when the baseball player just asked for her number (which, well, was understandably creepy, but like, chill bro); and in episode eight, Suho was glaring at Jugyeong the whole time just because he thinks she’s ignoring him and she was around Seojun so much?

Dude....... you never even apologised for those words that you knew hurt Jugyeong in episode 5.

Suho, babes, I love you, but - no.

I get so frustrated because ‘anger’ was never Suho’s default expression; he never truly has a temper. That was always more of Seojun’s trait and it worked with Seojun because it’s consistent throughout his character (in the webtoon). The few times Suho was actually angry to the point of nearly instigating violence in the webtoon are only because he’s pushed by this deep sadness [over the loss of Seyeon].

Rather than a glare in the scene in the beginning of the camp, it’d be more in-character if Suho’d looked like a sad puppy. Because if anything, wouldn’t Suho feel threatened since he has this deep-rooted belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness (a canon line admitted by Suho, himself, in webtoon, and spoken by Seojun towards Suho in K-Drama) and therefore, would have this inferioty complex and would never think Jugyeong would be interested in him? Which was why she’s going to Seojun a lot?

Now, let’s talk about Seojun.

How K-Drama Lowkey Didn’t Capture Seojun and Suho’s Friendship

I think one of the most prominent thing about Seojun and Suho’s friendship was how much they respected one another — especially when it came to their shared love interest in Jugyeong.

This K-Drama? (Sighs) Butchered it a little? Yeah.

Which isn’t wrong, no! But I felt like... firstly, it’s overdue; it’s making Suho look really, really not pretty (character-wise) next to Seojun, which I think is a misstep for the production because shouldn’t your male lead be persistently desirable? (But I didn’t mind lol, my heart is half-rooting for Seojun already *sighs dreamily*); and it really, most importantly, hurt the absolute loyalty and pureness that Suho and Seojun shared together in the webtoon.

Because when Seojun knew that Suho and Jugyeong liked each other? He backed off. He did. He didn’t say one word — not even a slip of a tongue — about his feelings towards Jugyeong.

But Suho somewhat knew, right? And he backed off when he knew he was disappointing Jugyeong by his departure. He makes way for Seojun to be there, however he can be, for Jugyeong while he’s not around. And when they started dating, Seojun and Jugyeong? Suho was supportive throughout.

He was never jealous, there was never one instance where he showed his dislike, and even when Jugyeong casted doubt or talked with Suho about her relationship problems, Suho was always rooting for the both of them. He wanted them to work.

They were all excellent friends.

I understand why and how the K-Drama ended up the way they did currently at episode eight, but in my opinion, I feel like it’s a bit disrespectful to the true friendship that Seojun and Suho shared in the webtoon only to present them as these unending rivals when... when you think about it, it isn’t really Seojun and Suho?

Cause obviously webtoon!Seojun and webtoon!Suho, once they’ve made up that is, were extremely reliable towards one another; they were very encouraging (besides from the slight hiccup when Seojun got a bit jealous); and they were incredibly loyal and understanding of one another’s situation.

I hope we’ll see glimpses of it more in the future, ‘cause I’d pay for nice and slightly-realistic progression of friendship that’s somehow mixed up with romance and how these people are coping with it, rather than just seeing two boys glare at one another while my girl Jugyeong just wanted to go to the toilet 😆

Conclusion #TeamJugyeong

I just want this girl to stop being pushed-and-pulled and happy, man.

I’m still looking forward to more of the episodes and the webtoon, though! I still love the casts, the production, the way the story is flowing so far (because I wanna know what’s gonna happen, you know?) but I do think Suho could’ve been written a bit better? Or, at least, with a bit more consistency?

Or, I mean, maybe he could just start apologising for every reckless actions rather than him getting away with it because he saved Jugyeong? Maybe?

I really still adore him, and I’m still rooting so much for Suho because the times when he was alone with her, he was super sweet? And immediately the sincerity and the core of what made Jugyeong and Suho so appealing to me just came out? Like he has that potential that webtoon!Suho is already at.

I love them so much, ugh.

(Although Seojun, bro, I’m lowkey on your side too. That bracelet he did for her was 💗💗💗💗💗)

I hope everyone’s doing well, keeping each other safe, and if my head’s running wild again, I’ll keep you posted akdjksjhskdhf

Thank you so much for reading!!!!

[thegc4life]

Do you any other Hawks fic ideas you'd like to write? Or is Hawks-sensei all you've got on your mind right now?

Wyv. You know not what you ask. I have to put them in categories, Wyv. Categories.

Kid!Hawks:

-Kid!Hawks growing up with the LOV (both as a permanent thing and various ridiculous drabbles) This involves Unwilling Big Brother Shigaraki, scarily willing Big SisterToga who knows all the coolest knife tricks, Best Uncle Twice who sometimes on his real good days doubles as temporary Dad, the Dad who teaches you how to hot wire cars and laugh people’s money straight out of their wallets Compress, mother-henning can-not-leave-you-alone-for-one-god-damn-minute Spinner, True Mom Kurogiri, Big Sis Mag who seems to be the only actual one that realizes that children need to sleep at some point for the love of god, extremely confused but horrifically soft Dabi who may or may not eventually turn his whole life around because of this feathered idiot that needs someone to make sure he lives a happy life whether it be a permanent shrinking or not. Oh, and Machia. The best Mountain Monster Dog brother (?) a boy could ask for.

-Kid!Hawks with UA (staff edition) also both in temporary and permanent circumstances. Temporary is already in progress. Permanent? Oh boy, permanent world. They raise him within UA so as to keep him from the Commission. Hawks often sits in on their classes with coloring books, picture books, or just to sit there and watch them. He is very smart. He picks up on things, but mostly he just likes being around all the staff. He picks a new person to sleep with every week because some of them have really shitty sleep schedules and even as a kid he knows they would feel bad keeping him up, thus forcing them to go to bed through good-person guilt so he tragets the sleepiest looking people for the week (hint: Aizawa gets picked a lot, and even if he’s not sleep deprived Hawks would pick him because he adores his grumpy cat Dad). Thirteen does crafts with him all the time. She watches every kid show and gets really into it with him. Hawks and Mic make the meals and they sing the entire time. They sing together throughout the day. Hawks will chirp out a line of notes and out of nowhere Hizashi will burst in to sing the lyrics. Midnight reads him bedtime stories cause her voices are the best. She does his nails and lets him do hers. He practices on the UA students to surprise her with new designs (the students fall over their own feet to offer to be his test subject). Snipe does little challenges with him. Things that, while technically helping him get used to controlling his quirk, are more fun than anything else because Hawks enjoys using his feathers in games. Hawks dresses up like a cowboy for an entire month, quoting old western movies and driving everyone but a very proud Snipe up the wall. Hound Dog and Hawks go on walks together ALL THE TIME. They explore the woods around UA and Hound Dog tells Cementoss to change up the geography every once in a while so they have something new to explore. He teaches Hawks how to go camping and Hawks fricken adores him and is always on his shoulders just kicking his feet or napping in Hound Dogs hair. Ectoplasm is Hawks favorite person to play any kind of tag based game because the others are too easy to catch with his feathers. But with Ectoplasm and all his clones? hawks goes nuts. Ectoplasm cried once when Hawks asked Aizawa for peg legs for Halloween and when someone asks him if he wants to be a pirate he says no because he wants to be a super cool hero like Ecto for Halloween. No one will be as cool as him. Hawks fricken loves Vlad. Like, adores him. Whenever Vlad is in the room Hawks will just go hang off his shoulders, or tuck under his arms with a book to read, or just lean against him. He has a little stuffed bull dog that has Vlad’s exact resting bitch face and carries it with him every time he leaves the dorm because he feels safer with it. He goes to Vlad when he’s injured because Vlad just takes care of it, gives him a hug, and doesn’t tell him to be more careful. Just asks if Hawks learned something and moves on. Hawks and Nezu are penpals. They see eachother every single day, but they are penpals. Hawks grows up with the most beautiful calligraphy handwriting because he keeps trying to out-do Nezu’s. He absolutely tattles on every single teacher in these letters, giving Nezu years worth of blackmail. Hawks thinks Nezu is a stuffed animal until he is fourteen because Nezu never fesses up. He just thinks the staff is even cooler for letting a stuffed animal run the place. He only ever cries around Nezu.

-Kid!Hawks UA(Student edition): So many. There’s lines I’ve written where they’re still in school when Hawks is kidified. When they’re already pros. In Canon, in Hawks-sensei, I even a small blurb sentence of Deku running a preschool that Hawks gets put into in an AU with quirks still. I can’t even... there’s too many students, cause I’d do all 1-A and 1-B. My favorite one to randomly wake up in a panick and write about though is the one where it’s Hawks-sensei verse based and Kid!Hawks gets taken in by the Monoma family. Rui and Eiko are older and Monoma is a pro-hero by then. The pure amount of fluff, sass, and Hawks spoiling that will happen. Big Brother Rui and Bigger Sister Eiko.  I think about this one a lot.

-I’m currently (slowly but progressing) writing a gift for @saltwater-sweets where Kid!Hawks is taken in by the Uraraka family. Like, he’s not even shrunk in this one. Uraraka’s newlywed parents were involved in the accident he first saved people in and they found him before the Commission. They realized his homelife situation and opened their home to him and now he is Uraraka’s big brother and that one line I threw out there? About him being a global superpower in household moving? Teaming up with Uraraka for that? Yeah.

-Kid!League of Villains and adult Hawks. Yeah, you heard me. They all get shrunk instead of him. And he can’t just... turn them in. They’re kids. They haven’t done any of the crimes their older counterparts have. And if it’s a permanent thing? They stay kids? Then he has a chance to really, truly save them. To give them the happy lives stolen from them. The Commission doesn’t like that. So Hawks takes them and runs. Dabi can be an adult too, I guess, if that’s the ship or something, but I just really wanna write Kid!LOV and Dad!Hawks.

-Kid!Aizawa. Dad!Hawks. Same concept. Beautiful dream. Need I say more.

-Kid!Hawks, Best Jeanist

-Kid!Hawks Gang Orca

-Kid!Hawks RUMI!!

Vigilante Hawks:

- Raven was born and I dived down that rabbit hole so fast I went back in time. Raven. But from a way earlier age. Those guys mugging Hawks when he was fifteen? The spark. Hawks stayed on the streets, he never went back, and he learned some things. He got some freedom, learned some shit, and realized that hero society was pretty fucked up. Shigaraki starts the LOV up and realizes there’s this whole underground community he was never aware of that Hawks has been building for years. It’s great.

-Hawks was never found by the Commission so he was never ‘Hawks’. His Dad raised him as a criminal but Hawks, with his little heart of gold, took every chance he could to make something good out of the bad deeds. Then he got old enough and he took full control. You ever seen the Levi OVA’s of Attack on Titan? Where he’s walking down the stairs and you realize every single person there is part of a huge ass gang of awesome with Levi at the head? That. THAT.

-Hawks loses his shit in Canon and goes completely AWOL. full Feral. He sees the problems, and he is prepared to do whatever it takes get rid of them. Whatever it takes.

AU Hawks

-Horribly injured, recently retired at the ripe old age of 23, and looking for something to save him from depression. Hawks meets Todoroki Fuyumi who gets him a job at her school. This one makes my brain happy.

-Takami Keigo and Todoroki Natsuo meet in college, graduate together, join the same hospital, and open one as partners as soon as they can. Ship or no ship, they go through their entire lives together. (I just... I really like the Todoroki sibs, okay?)

-Takami Keigo was born a lot earlier. So much, earlier, in fact that he is classmates with this overly optimistic ball of light named Yagi Toshinori and the grumpy ball of flame Todoroki Enji. Big Three anyone? Also, everyone needs a dumb smart birb to keep them sane. Hawks loves his friends, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass that tries to hurt them be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Also, he meets Nana. 

-I LOVE THE IMAGINARY KAMAKIRI FAMILY DYNAMIC OKAY?! literally anything with Hawks involved in their lives, okay?! I did not expect to spiral so hard when I made up Hideo and his relationship with Kamakiri but my god did I spiral! I just really love them!

-I’m a sucker for the classics. Tattoo/flower. Coffee shop. College. Roommates. Love. 

- (she made me write this) a story surrounding the amazing love story of my sister and Iida Tenya with Aizawa crashes the wedding even though he was invited and Mirio is her maid of honor, with Eri as the ring bearer, and All Might is the flower girl. Twice is the officiator. Uraraka releases a flock of fake pigeons (not real ones cause they don’t deserve that). Oh, and everyone else is there too, I guess. Except for Mineta. Cause he’s in jail.

Right now, at this very moment, I can not for the life of me think of any others but I KNOW there’s at least seven more that I just can’t remember because my brain is work dead. Wyv. @wyvernspirit do you see what you’ve opened here? Close the box! Close it before it’s too late! There is always more! I am never without MORE ideas!