#this may or may not have been based on my actual life
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Dead on Main short part 2
This was not supposed to be this long. It just kept getting longer, just kept going. I found a cut-off point eventually, but there may actually be a part 3 to what was supposed to be a very short little piece. Whoops. (part 1)
Jason never had the time to be concerned about his words when he was young. Neither did anyone else around him. His dad couldn’t be bothered with anything to do with him, and Jason would have been surprised if Willis actually knew what his words were. His mother was more confused by them then anything else, and even then that was only in her rarer sober moments.
Then Jason moved in with Bruce. Dick wasn’t around much when he lived in the Manor. He had just started tolerating him when Jason had died. Dick probably knew what the words were, but they had never discussed it with each other, and Jason couldn’t begin to guess what his opinion was on them back then.
Bruce used to entertain his fantasies of trying to think up different scenarios his words could be said in, both of them trying to make the funniest good outcome. It became a game they played when bored on stakeouts, obviously keeping the contents of the words private while playing. To be fair, there were a lot of good and funny scenarios. But they lived in Gotham, and Jason had experienced enough of the world, even at that young age, that he understood the likeliness of a bad scenario.
And then he died. And he didn’t think about his words for a very long time. Too busy training and plotting. Busy coming back to Gotham, enacting his plans and building a criminal empire. He barely remembered them himself until he was back in Gotham, operating as the Red Hood, with a trail of bodies behind him.
Assassin training, heads in a duffel bag, counts of arson, and leader of a gang, Jason was not the same kid he used to be. There were few scenarios in which his words could be said that he couldn’t come to understand. And he was at a point in his life where he could find room for a soulmate again. He was settled, secure as the anti-hero of Crime Alley, tenuous agreement with the Bats and all. He had even been by the Manor to have tea with Alfred.
Arkham breakouts were old hat to everyone in Gotham. Citizens bunkering down, and Bats readying themselves to round up whoever made it out this time. However, this was the first Arkham breakout since his plan with Bruce and the Joker failed. The first since his agreement with the Bats to use non-lethal means. When Jason heard that it was the Joker that had broken out, he planned to kill him, truce be damned.
The Bats could probably deduce that, it was too soon into the truce for any real change to have been made. And this was the Joker. So now it was a race to see who could get to him first.
Luckily (in this instance), Jason’s base is much closer to Arkham than the Bats. So while they are all stuck driving in from the better parts of town, Jason is already chasing the Joker down alleys.
Joker is laughing, practically skipping away as if this is a game, and Jason almost loses him as he turns a corner he didn’t see. Jason can hear the Joker laughing, starting to speak. Probably to taunt him again. Then the sound cuts off with a choke and a thud.
Jason turns the corner to see Joker laid out flat, nose bleeding and neck at a funny ankle. A choked breath escapes him, and he looks around to see a man leaning against the alley wall.
The man’s hands are shaking, breaths choppy, and there's a bit of blood on his right hand.
Jason takes a deep breath, which causes the man to look at him out of the corner of his eye. Jason takes in the scene again. And then again, hardly daring to hope even with the evidence in front of him.
“Is he dead?” Jason asks softly. The man turns to face him, and Jason takes a glove off and slowly, hesitantly, checks the Joker’s pulse.
“Look, in my defense…” The man trails off, looking to the heavens for a moment. “I really fucking hate clowns.”
Jason, hope fully settled in as the Joker remains still and lifeless on the ground, pulse non-existent against his fingertips, almost laughs. Then his brain does a record scratch. Rewind. Replays the words ‘Look, in my defense’ over again, head shooting up to look at the man who just killed the Joker.
Jason takes his other glove off, standing. He takes a step towards the man, pushing up his sleeve. The man seems nervous at his advance, watching him warily until Jason uncovers the words on his arm. The cover falls to the ground behind him as he takes another step forward.
The man’s eyes light up in realization, and he also rushes to push up his sleeve. One more step forward and they are right in front of each other. Arms held up, brushing together as they show each other their marks.
Left forearms pressed together in the space in front of them, one reading ‘Is he dead?’ and the other “Look, in my defense.’.
The man laughs and Jason takes in the sound of it, the happiness in his eyes as he looks up at him. Jason slowly reaches up to remove his helmet, domino still on underneath it, and lets it fall to the alley floor as well.
“You’re amazing.” Jason breaths out, hand reaching up to cup the stranger’s, his soulmate’s cheek. “You have no idea what you’ve just done for me.”
“Little bit of manslaughter.” He laughs. “Didn’t think it would be received this well.”
Jason smiles in response. “I would worship you for this, if you’d let me. I will never stop thanking you.”
“Oh.” The man gasps, breath hitching. Jason, one hand still on his cheek, thumb stroking underneath his eye, places his other hand on the man’s waist and backs him up to the alley wall. Deliberately slowly, watching the man as he takes a deep breath, licks his lips, and lets himself be moved.
“Tell me your name and I’ll start right now.” Jason whispers.
“Danny.” The word is breathy and low, only heard due to Jason’s close proximity.
“Danny.” Jason repeats his name like an anthem and a prayer. Prepared to give his life for this man already. And then kisses him, pressing his lips to his softly, reverently. Wanting to hold this moment forever.
#fanfiction#my writing#batman#danny phantom#dpxdc#dcxdp#red hood#soulmate au#soulmate words#jason todd
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Oh boy okay I think my smallest / least known fave is Ambersun (formerly known as Albion, changed because of how many other bands have the same name), and I am begging everyone to listen to this band because seriously it is so good.
Summary: it's a power metal band which I think may be basically a one man show plus various guest vocalists I'm not sure, which does story-based concept albums based on different works of fiction. Possibly qualifies as Rock Operas? Anyway I love "fandom music" and this is one of my all time favorites even though two of the albums are for "I don't even go here" fandoms and the other is for a book I found through the music, because the sound is awesome, the lyrics are awesome, and you can just hear the passion put into them.
I'm now going to post a bunch of lyrics under the cut please please please listen to these songs. Actually just listen to the albums in order, this is one of those bands where the songs are already good as standalones but you really need to listen to the full album to get the full experience.
We are lost, in an endless night, the sun drained from our eyes
Gone, when we sold our lives to the plague that stole the sky
"Life Before Death," from The Poison Skies
Erased and they don't care, but you would still be here if only you'd stayed, been mine only mine
It's so unfair to leave me, the tribe I formed deceived me, but now I'll fight in your name
There's no way to hide from their stare,
I still feel their eyes everywhere
And the hatred that clouds all their minds, it hides the truth of it all
"Out In the Wilds" from The Poison Skies
The one to keep the noble name, to carry all their hopes and dreams, a future severed when one night became forever
"Run" from The Poison Skies. This. Freaking. Song. Has changed me. "Run" is a banger on its own, but reading The Afflicted and reaching the scene this song is about made it so much better and also slightly painful. Which can be said about the entirety of The Poison Skies but this song especially, because the entire song is a character high on adrenaline, deluding himself into believing he can actually pull off the promise he made to his friends that he was going to survive the badass self-sacrificing stunt he was pulling. Also I have no idea how I have not gotten a speeding ticket while playing this in the car yet.
Visions that I can't erase, every time I see her face,
She reminds me of how I never tried
Now I watch us as we fall, can't help anyone at all,
Why did I alone survive?
Survivor's Guilt!
"Survivor's Guilt" from The Poison Skies
This worthless weapon symbolizes who I am
Remaining silent, offer no resistance,
And I become the iron mask
"Disappear" from The Poison Skies
Survive one last dance through the wind and the cold,
We can't change our stories, but they still can be told
"Snow" from The Poison Skies
Sealed in cryogenic cold, I'll dive into the dark, reanimate your soul
Together we will rise up hand in hand this blackened night
"Morning" from The Day the Night Slept
I'll burn in the night, I'll light up the sky, you'll see,
And I'll be the Scorpion's Fire!
"The Scorpion's Fire" from The Day the Night Slept
Lost in the night, but still he survives
I'll tear apart time so his heart never dies
"Asriel Must Be Saved" from Buried Souls. Yes this is exactly what it sounds like from the title. A 15 minute musical fix fic about finding a way of saving Asriel Dreemur from Undertale with some sort of timeline fuckery I don't understand because I haven't played the game. And it's glorious.
Mighty wheels will turn again, flames of faith ignite
Chase the legend of the sun, and bathe our world in light
"Bring Back the Sun," currently a single release.
enough about taylor swift already. reblog and tag the smallest, least known artist you listen to
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❗️Mild arcane spoilers ❗️
Miiight ruffle some feathers.
Not EVEN going to lie, unnecessary ship wars aside, the fan base has developed such a deep love and understanding for these characters (because let’s be honest, there are some pretty intelligent people giving eye opening analyses) that after the finale, it appears that we have a better understanding of them than the actual writers.
We deserved better as the audience after all the hype over the years, all the waiting, even after some episodes got leaked a while ago, most of us remained respectful and waited to see what this season would bring us. The core characters ABSOLUTELY deserved better as well.
It felt as if I was watching all of the characters’ development be erased in real time, or become sidelined and nearly mute after being propped up to appear as if they were going to have a significant arc.
With the amount of episodes we had, it felt like they were trying to cram a bunch of different storylines into one 9 episode season and that left us with annoying plot holes and rushed sequences.
And I’m just gonna say it.
If a certain relationship needed to be sacrificed if it meant that other characters had the proper development they needed and DESERVED, then I would have preferred that much, MUCH more than that undercooked finale.
Don’t. Even. Get me started on that caitvi scene. In the cell? Right after that conversation she had with her sister? Don’t give me that nonsense about how it’s vi reclaiming her power or something. (An actual weird ass statement from Amanda Overton in a Q&A video about how that was Vi reclaiming and working through her trauma in that cell).
No apology? No groveling for forgiveness? That little argument they had lasted like five seconds and didn’t even address the earlier conflict that happened in the show after cait left vi. And before any of you say “cait apologized with her actions”
I don’t care. Two things can be true at once, she can and should have apologized directly as well as displayed that with her actions.
Moving on to Mel??? We did not nearly have enough time to explore her new abilities as a mage, her armor, and her connection to the black rose. As I said, the storylines this season should have been more refined so we could focus on a central group of characters. They did nothing but hint at her armor from the end of season 1 all the way up until now.
Also maybe I’m hallucinating, but did we ever find out what happened to the firelight’s tree?? That’s one of the main reasons Ekko and Heimerdinger went to the lab isn’t it? HELLO?
Next on my list, Jinx. This girl has suffered to no end.
- Lost her whole family except for Vi.
- Almost died once and was brought back to life.
- Tried to end her life several more times
And you slap us all in the face by writing her off?
“Oh but she may not be GONE gone, look at the glitching at the end!"
I. Don’t. Care. It’s the principle.
I’m sick and tired of seeing characters that struggle with mental health and keep having one bad event after another happen to them, never receiving a proper ending. What messages are the writers sending with this? That death is basically the answer because there’s no hope for them? Cool. That was not an honorable act of self sacrifice, that was plain insulting.
Instead, if they still really wanted to have a Jinx redemption arc and a chance to rekindle her relationship with Vi, having her tap into engineering for the betterment of Zaun would have been the better route.
We should have gotten an extra extended episode since this is last season for the Piltover/Zaun region, and for Jinx and Vi's story. I really want to blame Riot for being greedy and possibly becoming too cocky with the popularity of Arcane that they think anything would suffice because It's Arcane.
#riot got greedy#arcane#league of legends#arcane league of legends#arcane ambessa#ambessa medarda#mel medarda#arcane Mel#arcane jayce#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#vi arcane#vander arcane#Warwick#vi and caitlyn#caitlyn arcane#hextech#timebomb#arcane silco#young silco#arcane season 2#riot games#fortiche#arcane spoilers#arcane zaun#piltover#arcane act 3#arcane act three#arcane sevika
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Hi there! Could I request HCs of Optimus Prime, Prowl, and Ratchet (separately) from Transformers Animated with a Cybertronian![S/O] [Romantic] [Gender Neutral] who is an Autobot specialized in Special Operations?
Cybertronian![S/O] is a commander of their own Special Ops team back on Cybertron doing missions ranging from hostage rescues to combat. They tried to visit Earth with the Elite Guards whenever possible to see their respective partner(s) since they missed them.
They may be misunderstood as tough, scary, and dangerous at first glance, sometimes mistaken for a Decepticon before showing their Autobot insignia. Even mentioning their designation (name) sends shivers down anybot’s struts (backs).
In actuality, they’re kind, sweet, and less serious when off duty and can take a joke.
Optimus | Prowl | Ratchet [Animated]
In which their s/o is the commander of the Autobot's information operations and visits Earth to see them.
Reader is: Gender Neutral | Cybertronian | Autobot.
Optimus
Despite all his sucking up to the commander, Ultra Magnus, few knew Optimus looked up to more than just the one
He wasn't under your authority, but you were still a commander, and he was so utterly proud of you for amounting to something
He hadn't seen you since his touchdown on Earth, but you'd been checking on him far more frequently to make sure he was okay
Initially, he doesn't tell you about the cons and tells you it's just human villains because he knows you're busier than he could ever imagine and doesn't want you to worry even more
But you do find out through Ultra Magnus when it's reported, and it only takes a week before you can find an excuse to step away from your position to see him
Your arrival on a small, dark ship catches the attention of Bee and Sari during one of their excursions, and they both go running back to their team, claiming more Decepticons have arrived
When he does go to investigate, he's pleased to see you step from the ship, but your name coming from his mouth only seems to unnerve the others more
"Whoa! Prime, you know them???"
"More than know, actually. Everyone, meet my conjunx."
Jaws are dropping
Very quickly they get to learn your and Prime's history together, how you met in elite guard training, how he saved your life, how different you were than the rumors made you to seem
"Don't be fooled; they're very scary when they need to be."
Prowl
Prowl, like most things in his life, kept any mention of you to himself
After all, the others on his team liked to pry, and you were something precious to him; someone no one understood but him
Not only that, but he was worried if he brought you up, someone might try to contact you, and he knew that above all, your missions were at their peak, one after another
It didn't take anyone else, though; his own silence and lack of disclosure eventually led to you deciding to visit him yourself, which culminated in him literally waking up to the others screaming about a con at the base
He knew the very sound of your spark hum apart from any other noise and immediately told everyone else to calm down
Of course he's happy to see you, but he really wishes you wouldn't see him at such a low point
Stuck with a team of nobodies on a planet one hundredth the size of the one you protected
But you never cared about any of that; you were just happy to see your bot again, and beyond all the war stuff, he was happy to see you, too
He's very protective of you and doesn't let you spend too much time with the others because they're 'too annoying to deserve your attention'
Ratchet
Ever since the mission he carried out with you to save Arcee, he'd felt shame in comparing himself to you
Ratchet used to be on your team before you commanded it, but he eventually strayed into his current position while handling his guilt
Guilt or not, he admittedly hated that you'd taken up such an important position because it meant you had a bigger target on your back
Communicating with you poses a danger to you, so he's reluctant to send much your way and just accepts transmissions from you, which only Prime manages to find out about
Ratchet doesn't care if you're scary or not, if you're strong or not; he just wishes he could keep you from being known, keep you safe
Against all his wishes, you continue to be a more important link in the war effort, and you are the one protecting him in the relationship more than anything
Ratchet manages to keep your first few visits to Earth a secret, but it doesn't take much more for the others to meet you, especially after they had to help chase Lockdown off from trying to take you in
He doesn't have much of an ego, but he does like seeing the younger bots fawn over how cool his s/o is
And hearing them talk about how everyone fears you, well, it makes him feel just a bit more certain that you can protect yourself and that he shouldn't worry as much as he does
Author's Note - I have actually been rewatching all of Animated so, perfect timing! Blitzwing forever tho <3
#aiko writez#transformers#headcanons#transformers x reader#transformers animated#tfa x reader#tfa#tfa optimus#tfa prowl#tfa ratchet#tfa optimus x reader#tfa prowl x reader#tfa ratchet x reader#x reader
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HABITS TO DROP WHEN GETTING YOUR LIFE TOGETHER
➝ CREATING UNAUTHENTIC & UNINTENTIONAL GOALS
the biggest mistakes you can make when creating goals is making goals that aren’t true to you and making goals for the sake of making goals.
it can be so exciting when you decide to get your life together. I mean, of course it is! there are so many possibilities! but when you start planning, don’t just write down the goals you see circulating on social media. what works for someone else may not be what works for you. don’t make your goals and habits based on what’s trending or popular in the self improvement community.
think about what you actually need for a minute. what is actually necessary? your goals and habits aren’t here to be glamorous, they’re here to help regardless of how simple or small they are. the point of thinking up new habits is to improve your life, so be intentional with your goals. what will practicing this habit or achieving this goal give you?
when you’re first starting out, your goals don’t have to be anything too crazy or intense. for example, let’s say you want to become a pink pilates girl and get into fitness. you shouldn’t jump right into it and say your goal is to work out for 2 hours 5 times a week. let’s consider some factors first. have you been living a completely sedentary kind of lifestyle? then try looking for exercises that’ll wake up dormant muscles. your goal should then be to repeat those exercises for how ever many times a week. then you’ll work your way up from there. (it’s important we don’t harm the body, so be mindful with your fitness goals.) what about your schedule? how much time can you actually give to working out? can your body even endure working out for that long?
anyways, hopefully you see what I mean. when creating goals, it’s not about having the “aesthetic” habits and goals that you may see on tiktok or tumblr. it’s about doing what is actually good for you and what’ll help you the most with where you are now in your journey. so please put some thought into your goals and where they’ll take you. creating unauthentic and unintentional habits will also mean you’ll be less likely to keep practicing them after a few times. at the end of the day, that doesn’t help you achieve anything and you’re left with a broken promise you’ve made to yourself. which leads me to my next point…
➝ NOT KEEPING YOUR WORD WHEN IT COMES TO YOU
let me start off by saying this— if you don’t even listen to yourself, why should anyone else? (harsh, ik)
a HUGE reason as to why people have no self confidence is because they don’t listen to themselves or keep the promises they’ve made to themselves. if you have no self trust, how could you have any self confidence?
now, building discipline can definitely be a challenge so if you want to start somewhere easy, nip your false promises in the bud and stop yourself from making them. that’s what I did when I was first trying to stop this habit. when my addiction to tiktok was at its peak I would always tell myself the usual “ten more minutes and then I’ll stop scrolling.” when I wanted to stop making false promises, I knew I had no control or discipline so the only thing I could do is be real with myself. I’d cut myself off when I heard myself say “five more minutes” because I knew it wasn’t going to happen. if I wasn’t going to quit my bad habit, then the least I could do is be honest with myself.
the things that you are constantly telling yourself, whether they’re mindless or intentional, matter.
so, stop telling yourself seemingly harmless lies. unnecessary false promises that you know are false will only fill you with tension.
➝ STOP SEEING FAILURE AS AN INVITATION TO GIVE UP
this applies to so many things.
you wanted to be consistent with your reading goals but haven’t read a chapter in a week? dont give up. don’t tell yourself that being consistent is too hard for you, that since you missed a week this habit isn’t for you. make your goal a bit easier or give yourself another chance.
you wanted to spend more time doing art but it’s not turning out how you expected? dont give up. dont give yourself the title of a “bad artist” and never pick up a pencil again. move forward, give yourself another chance.
you wanted to quit your Instagram addiction but after a couple days you went back to scrolling for hours on ig reels? Don’t give up. dont tell yourself that this addiction isn’t gonna go away, don’t go back to the bad habit because you slipped up. give yourself another chance.
I think a lot of us (myself included) tend to give up at the first sign of failure, instead of reminding ourselves to keep going. it’d be wonderful if you could get it right on the first try. if you could read ten books a month right away after not reading a book in three years. if you could watch hours worth of tutorials and sketch the perfect portrait on the first attempt. if you could uninstall instagram for good and never feel the urge to go back. that would all be so amazing, but it’s not always the reality. expect the best from yourself and do the best you can, but also give yourself some compassion. keep in mind that you won’t always do things perfectly right away and that’s one thousand percent okay. when you feel yourself slipping up on your brand new goal, don’t end it there at the first failure. allow yourself to move forward, because the only other direction to move is backwards.
#it girl#self improvement#wonyoungism#that girl#pink#dream girl tips#dream girl life#study motivation#self concept#self confidence#self improvement tips#self care#productivity tips#it girl mentality#it girl lifestyle#dream girl#dream life#hyper feminine#self love#clean girl#pink academia#pink pilates princess#studyblr#glow up#glowing up#clean girl aesthetic#healing girl era#becoming her#healing#it girl energy
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Sunshine
Chapter 4
Description: will Ray agree to join the team? Will she go to Mexico with them..? Will she remember how to shoot straight? Who knows..
You listened to what Price had offered. You really tried to find it in yourself to agree, but no. “I can’t do that..”
“Can’t do what..?” - “expect your men to trust me. To, for want of a better term, take a bullet for me.. it’s not fair. Christ, even I wouldn’t trust me as far as you could throw me..”
“..” You glance around at the three men, all silent, the Scot fidgeting with his hoodie strings and Ghost staring straight at back at you. The Captain starts to respond, but you cut him off, earning an exasperated sigh from the man.
“Also.. I’ve been out for months, over a year, in fact... What makes you so sure I can still shoot straight. Hold my own in a fight? What if it’s all gone? Any potential you may have seen in me. It’s gone. I’m exhausted, Captain. You’re placing too much trust in me. I’ll let you down. Your team, I can see it’s precious to you. I can’t be trusted with that responsibility…”
The man clears his throat and sends a wry smile in your direction.
“You don’t lose that sort of skill. It stays with you forever. If, for your own peace of mind, you’d like to go down the range and sharpen up, then feel free. Likewise, if you’d like to spar and polish up on your hand to hand, then I’m sure one of the boys here can help. Gaz, too, once he is fighting fit, which won’t be long. As far as trust goes, I look at it this way. Trust is a two way street. If you trust me, my team, enough to join us, then we will trust you enough to fight alongside. Simple as that, really”.
You clench your jaw, annoyed at yourself for even considering this. No, surely not.. snap out of it!! Just as you think of something to say to help get you out of this, the captain speaks again.
“You have my word, y/n, you’re free to leave. If at any point you want out, just tell me. I’ll sign the papers, set you up with a new identity and new house, you’ll be out. For good. I’ll give you the clearance, make sure you get your pension, your insurance, retirement, everything, you'll be discharged. I can say it’s on medical grounds.."
You can’t quite believe his offer. When you’d thrown that tantrum at the ceremony, they’d take everything from you. Everything that the Captain had just listed, gone, you had a red stamp across your name.
DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED
You feel your throat constrict. You clear it slightly, trying to relieve the lump that had settled there.
“Fine” you murmur, not looking up from your shoe laces, if you looked at any of them now, you might change your mind and go running back to your shitty life on the outskirts of town. You’d been more dead for the past 18 months, than you would have been if you’d actually have died in Russia, with the rest of your unit. It had been a sorry existence. One of solitude, and misplaced anger. You’d made your bed and laid in it, so to speak. And God, was it a horrible, lumpy, uncomfortable bed..
“Fine, I’ll do it” you repeat, turning on your heel and leaving the room.
“Welcome to the team, Ray. Johnny will show you to your room, and give you a quick tour of the base” the Captain replies, in an even tone, hiding his slight surprise at your agreement.
You glance to Johnny, who immediately snaps out of his dazed state and jumps to his task. “Right, yeah, ok! Follow me, lass”.
You follow Soap, who cleverly decides not to make conversation, this time. He arrives at a room.
“This is you..” he explains pointing to the door in front of him. He then points to his left “that’s Gaz..” then to his right “and that’s me - Cap and Ghost have their own rooms in the next hall. The common room is at the end of this hallway - 141 only. The communal mess hall is back the way we came, near the infirmary. The gym —”
You decide to interrupt. “That’s all, you can go.. I know where everything else is” you murmur, accidentally harshly. He immediately turns and it makes you feel guilty for your tone. Christ, you’d not had to be nice to anyone for years.. you were rusty.
As he turns away with a glum look on his usually too cheery face, you wince, realising that you’d upset him. You step into the room he had shown you, closing the door behind you. It was a typical military base room. A bed in the middle, a chest of drawers and a wardrobe, with a desk on the other side of the room. Basic and simple. You dump your bags on the bed and start rummaging through what little you had left.
These bags hadn’t been touched since you’d left. They were still packed from when Price and Kyle had arrived to your room immediately after storming out from the ceremony. As you unzip the rucksack, filled with your old life, your dog tags tumble down and snag on the zip.
You try to blink away the sting in your eyes, holding them up to the light with the metal chain. They clink against each other, flashing the artificial ceiling light into your eyes . Up close, you can see small scratches and tiny divots - scars left behind from years of service.
After a deep breath, you lift them and secure them around your neck - finally back where they belong. They feel cold against your skin, but the sensation feels familiar. Pull yourself together!
The next thing in your bag, is your old shemagh. It is tattered, torn and frayed at the edges. It’d always been with you on the field. You’d never been anywhere without it. If it wasn’t around your neck, it was tied to a gun, or around a belt loop. It was your good luck charm. God, the miles that old scarf had done…
You noticed that the Captain and Gaz usually wear one of their own around their necks. You weren’t sure if theirs held the same emotional attachment as yours did, but you assumed their ‘items’ were the hats that always donned their heads, and Ghost’s was his mask. You weren’t sure what Soap’s thing was yet..
As you pull it from the rucksack, the fabric feels so soft in your hands, you scrunch it up and take a huge inhale of its scent. Memories flood your vision. You sit down on the bed, allowing yourself a moment to reminisce on the past.
A knock on the door pulls you from your thoughts.
“Y/n? Still in ‘ere?” The voice asks.
You roll your eyes. It was Gaz.
“What do you want?”
“To catch up..” he replies, undeterred
“Already have..”
“C’mon, Ray.. let me in..” he whines, trying the handle.
Damn it, should have locked the door.
He freezes when he sees you, sitting on the bed, hands wrapped around your military scarf and wearing your dog tags around your neck. He eyes you for what seems like ages. Eventually he speaks..
“There she is!” he smirks “knew you couldn’t resist...”
#john mctavish x reader#john soap mactavish#john price x reader#simon riley x reader#task force x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick#task force 141
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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my goal was 4k in 30 min really really didnt think i was going to make it 🥹🥹🥹
#crop cus i realised i was fully about to dox myself lmfao#i know im still the worlds slowest runner but this was a huge deal for me alright......... heres why commence tag ramble 321#usually i do time based so yesterday i did 30 mins and did like 3.9k. so i was like well 4k in 30 mins should be easy! it wasnt.#i got to like 29 minutes and was like ah damn not gonna make it but at least i tried. started to slow down and then saw a girl doing sprint#nearby and thought well fuck it and sprinted for my life for the last few hundred metres i cant remember i was in the throes of battle#TWO SECONDS TO SPARE........#huge deal for me as someone who is extremely prone to giving up#and i set a 2 mile pb!!!!!!!!!#maybe a 30 minute 5k is more possible than i thought#its funny cus i spent this whole time up till now working on going slowly enough to actually complete the runs and now im like#HURRY UP!!! OH FUCK!!!!! vndksjfhdfgdkhf#i need new shoes though i have horrible blisters#saw this cat on the way home btw and it could not have cared less about me i may as well have been invisible. no response even when i pette
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more solo magma doodles. this time featuring fortune, the very original and not-at-all-based-on-anything tiefling paladin i'm going to be playing in a new campaign this summer :]
#martzipan#marzi#fortune#any resemblance to all persons living or dead is purely coincidental and not intended. or whatever#for sure gonna have him keep his hair up. only person besides me who knows fortune's whole deal is my dm#so i gotta keep the rest of my party unaware of my Trick for as long as possible#cannot WAIT to play him. i am going to have so much fun#dm said 'i want some intra-party tension' and i said 'oh that's perfect actually'#i've been wanting to create this character for a little bit. so i had a lot of details planned out already#he was GONNA be an elf but our party already has an elf and i'm a fan of party diversity so. excuse to play a tiefling lmao#he's a tiefling of balthazaar specifically! who specializes in corruption. also he can cast ray of sickness and crown of madness teehee#but don't worry! he's a paladin sworn to the oath of ancients! his life's goal is to beat back the darkness of the world#and to nurture its light instead#though the curse that was placed on him at birth may sometimes get in the way of that...#(he has a modified version of the lucky feat. i call it the wheel of fortune.)#(every luck point i spend gives my dm a luck point to use against me in return. i was the one to suggest this modification)#(completely original character i swear. entirely original and not based on anything at all. the source is me. do not steal)#'mars why are you using magma without any other people' people frighten me. next question
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I finally bit the bullet and quit my joooob !!! Now im gonna actually have time to rest and catch up on owed art and just fucjin sleep for 3 weeks
(And then scramble to find a job but thars for future me to worry abour)
#dw i still live w my parents and ill save my last paycheck for rent and testosterone ill be fine#but fuck im so relieved#like this job has been getting steadily worse over the past year.#it was meant to be a green/conservation based job but it ended up being 90% landscaping and garden clearances#and there was 0 communication and management and organization is fucking terrible like#its a wonder this company is still going#plus my terf coworker grinds my gears so bad i may have commited murder if i stayed any longer#the only good part of this job was my rly sweet supervisor who is also leavong at the end of the month skdjsj#hes so silly and kind and knowledgable and a bright spot in my life leo my best friend leo <3 he knows soo much about plants!!#anyway he reccomended some horticulture apprenticeships and my other supervisor mentioned an apprenticeship school type thing too#so thats what ill go for next year#so that i can actually work with plants someday. instead of hauling 2 tons of litter out of someones shed cos the owner cba#and the housing association/council refuses to do it cos its shit work#so they pass it off to us#anyway#finn.txt#im gomma be freeeee soon
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sometimes you read something for a fandom you were crazy over years ago and you encounter one of the ships you loved back then and you just think “yeahhhh…. this is still great :) way to go younger me you were so based about this actually :)”
#anyway I still care a lot about Obitine apparently#their respective commitment to their respective ideals and moral codes… the way they love each other more than life#(literally. they’re so willing to die for each other.)#and yet that never leads them to violate who they /are/ or who the other person is#Satine is willing to never see him again rather than ask him to leave the Order. he is willing to leave the Order all she has to do is ask#they are able to rest in their love for one another bc they know the other loves them in such a way that they would never ask#for their compromise#idk this makes very little sense it’s 2 a.m. I’m delirious I have church in the morning but I wanna rewatch some Clone Wars now#hfhfhfhhdhdhdhehdhdhdhfbbdsjsjfhfj#gurt says stuff#edit: wait actually this is so funny—bc I just realized that Din Djarin and Obi-Wan are quite similar in a lot of ways#so the parallels here are incredibly funny to me for some reason. the Kryze women just have a Thing for reserved men who are#completely devoted to their religious values and would do practically anything for their adopted family huh#(ftr I don’t know if I ship DinBo or not but I do understand the appeal and I am open to the possibility of the writers play it right#still bitter about losing Cara tho. bc I was SO curious to see how Misters Filoni and Favreau were going to develop that#n I had a vague suspicion based on my knowledge of how Filonis brain and stories work that ~something~ may have been meant to happen there)
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I feel a bit wary saying this because it doesn't feel quite real yet, but! had my last week of college classes last week. I still have to get through my last exam period but it's very odd to think this degree is almost over and done with. many thoughts about it in general.
#vi rambling#well. TIME TO RAMBLE#I think degrees in general are a very normalized stage of life but it felt so abnormal to me to go through so i thought id#share my thoughts. because theyre complicated!#i chose a degree solely based on my interests. which may haven't been the smartest choice all in all#considering i dont think it'll grant me any job opportunities and well.#considering my main aspirations is to Create some sorta something it at the very least widened my breadth of knowledge.#but i have to admit im mostly very frustrated. because while its obviously natural to laser focus on studies#my creativity's really stagnated over the last 3-4 years. kinda feels like i wasted my time on something and kinda missed the train whateve#that means. idk. art history was a lot more rewarding than film thats for sure because film theory is unfortunately mostly complete bs.#and honestly every year of college was a complete disaster on a personal note i dont feel like getting into but each year was surrounded by#so many bad circumstances that the fact its gonna be over feels like. it isnt over until its over. im still scared something will pop up an#will suddenly yet again fuck things up for me and this degree Wont happen. idk.#but yeah mostly i an very much looking forward to practical art studies. something to actually idk. make me feel like#im making the most out of myself. instead of trapping it under mountains of collegework. and stagnating#will probably be deleted later idk what im getting at writing this here. disillusionment or whatever
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i just finished reading the world according to garp and oh my god. what a book! so now i immediately have to read everything else john irving has ever written
#like genuinely that was one of the best most beautiful books i’ve ever read#i originally only bought it because i’d been looking for his book a prayer for owen meany#(which i wanted to read because the jimmy eat world song goodbye sky harbor is based on it)#and couldn’t find it ANYWHERE. but then i saw this and of course i’d heard of it before#so i decided to try it while i look for a copy of the other one. and actually i had to wait a little to read it#because i was already reading like four other books. but i read that first section and i was immediately hooked#and so i tortured myself waiting to read it for like two weeks#anyway i think it’s possibly changed my life. certainly my ideas about writing#and i did manage to find a copy of that other book i wanted in the meantime so yay!#as soon as i’ve recovered from garp (which honestly may take a while—i sobbed through the last like 200 pages) i’m going to start it!#it’s these kinds of books that always have such an impact on me i think: weird families full of eccentric people who love each other so much#books that are really bursting with life and with love like my family and other animals by gerald durrell#also books that make me cry that’s an easy one#but hooooly shit i didnt realise this book was SAD? i thought it was a comedy!#i was wholly unprepared to read THAT chapter on the train out of nowhere!#i already loved it before that happened and wouldve given it five stars but the rest of the book just made it an instant favourite
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Oh my god I'm sooooo mad right now
So. I have no business telling people not to collect wild plants/materials.
I do it all the time.
However.
The words "wildcrafted," and "foraged," even "sustainably harvested," are terrifying to see in an ad on Etsy or Instagram
There is a such thing as the honorable harvest where you ASK the plant if it is okay to take, with the intention of listening if the answer is NO. Robin Wall Kimmerer talked about this, She did not make it up, it is an ancient and basic guideline of treating the plants with respect.
Basically it is not wrong to use plants and other living things, even if this means taking their life. But you are not the main character. You have to reflect on your knowledge of the organism's life cycle and its role in the ecosystem, so you can know you are not damaging the ecosystem. You have to only take what you need and avoid depleting the population.
Mary Siisip Geniusz also talked about it in an enlightening way in her book Plants Have So Much to Give Us, All We Have To Do is Ask. She gave an example of a woman who was on an island and needed to use a medicinal herb to heal her injured leg or she would not survive the winter. In that situation she had to use up all of the plant that was on the island. This was permissible, even though it eliminated the local population, because she had to do it to save her life. But in return the woman had the responsibility to later return to the island and plant seeds of that plant.
And what makes me absolutely furious, is that there are a bunch of people online who have vaguely copied this philosophy of sustainability in a false and insulting way, saying "wildcrafted" or "foraged" materials to be all trendy and cool and in touch with nature, when it is actually just poaching.
If you are from a capitalistic culture the honorable harvest is very hard and unintuitive to learn to practice. I am not very good at it still. This is why it is suspicious if someone is confident that they can ethically and respectfully harvest wild materials with money involved.
So there's this lichen that is often called "reindeer moss." It looks like this:
It grows only a few millimeters a year.
This is "preserved" reindeer moss.
It is from Etsy, similar is also sold in many other online shops, many of which have the audacity to describe it as a "plant" for decorations and terrariums that needs no maintenance.
It is not maintenance-free, it is dead. It has been spray-painted a horrible shade of green. The people buying it clearly don't even know what it is. It is a popular crafting material for "fairy houses," whatever the hell those are. So is moss, also dead, spray-painted, and wild-harvested. Supposedly reindeer moss is harvested sustainably in Finland, where it is abundant, for the craft industry. However poaching of lichens and mosses is absolutely rampant.
It's even more upsetting because there's hardly any articles drawing attention to the problem. This one is from 1999. And the poaching is still going on.
There is a "moss" section on Etsy, and it is so upsetting
These mosses and lichens were collected from the wild. Most of the shops are in the Pacific Northwest or Appalachia, which are the major locations of moss and lichen poaching. There are some shops based in Appalachia selling "foraged" reindeer moss.
Reindeer moss may be abundant in Finland, but in Appalachia it should NOT be harvested to be sold on Etsy as craft supplies! Moss doesn't grow quickly. Big, healthy colonies like this took years to grow. Some of these shops have thousands of sales, all of bags and bags of moss and lichen, and thinking of how much moss and lichen that must be, I am filled with horror.
Clubmosses do not transplant well, and these ones have no roots. The buyers do not realize they have bought a dead plant because clubmoss stays green and pliable after it is dead.
This is especially awful because in Mary Siisip Geniusz's book she talked about clubmosses being poached so much for Christmas wreaths that they had almost disappeared from a lot of forests.
I don't even know if this is illegal if it's not a formally endangered species so I don't know if I can report them I'm just. really sad and angry
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how can one go about a friend breakup?
asking for a friend
#miesozernacma#theres this girl who initiated our friendship last year#around october maybe?#and weve been in a lik group of four since then#but ive realized were not very compatible as people#sure we may laugh together#but overall it seemed like the only reason we started talking was because she saw i drew genshin impact stuff during class#and 1) i dropped this game back in first grade of hs#and 2) i think this game sucks and i dont think she plays it that much now anyway#its not that we have completely different interests thats not even the main problem#ive built up like a grudge overtime about things that mildly irritate me in our everyday interactions#and i am literally uninterested in speaking to her By default because of these things.#i know damn well i cant drag this along forever because ill go insane and i actually genuinely dont want to talk to her because#of her quirks or whatnot#there are many things ive catalogued that push me away from her#from speaking habits to way of talking about things#to very short temper (gets audibly mad when i ask her to repeat because she speaks so quietly)#etc etc#if she had tumblr (and i Dont Know if she does) she might figure out it's her just based of the genshin#but anyway thats my semivent. im in a people pleasing pickle rn#so you could say#like i do not want to be around this girl because i have Such a problem with these certain things about her#and she would be grateful if i was upfront#but my ass doesn't want to deal with the negative reaction of having to Reject this person#Kicking Them Out of my everyday school life for the most part#._. if you read this far id appreciate ur thoughts
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Thinking abt the random card au again. Why must it go so crazy hard I miss it sm
#rat rambles#random card au#no matter how far I drift from my bndori and sekai peak days the random card au keeps hitting me like a truck every now and then#it just scratches an itch that I havent been able to satisfy since my cr days years and years ago#I wouldnt say the random card au has super similar worldbuilding to my old cr stuff as that was much more large scale#but it still has a similar appeal to me I think#I think its the building entirely new worldbuilding based off of designs and general vague starting concepts and bringing them all together#that gets me invested as it feels so satisfying slotting it all together and then actually getting to play out the story in this new web#I loveeeee jumbled webs of worldbuilding and characters that all tie together in a way that makes it almost impossible to completely#seperate one cast of characters from another#I love the feeling of a world with a bunch of intertwining plots like that even if it makes it near impossible to format a normal story#like my cr stuff was just so much man I still miss it sometimes even if I hate cr itself#Ive become a much better story creator too now so I know I could make what I had so much better nowadays and I already like my old stuff#it just makes me all the more sad that I went so crazy hard on worldbuilding for a franchise that sucks ass </3#it may have been two of the worst years of my life but Ill also never reach that worldbuilding high again I think#oh also it made me actually start the slow slow process of getting more ambitious with my art and doing more digital stuff#rly thats the biggest reason the random card au pains me so since I wanna post stuff for it but man do I not wanna draw anyone from it#first of all human characters so already eh but also Id have to adapt the cards theyre based on into a design I can actually draw#so as much as I wanna make a billion random card au animatics I cant even bring myself to draw them normally#you see olivia and jackie are easier to draw because I just made shit up for their designs and as such made their designs very simple#but I cant just make shit up for bndori and sekai characters they actually have designs and hair that Id have to adapt to my style it sucks#I just wanna draw doggy arisa is that so much to ask for (yes yes it is I dont wanna figure out her hood)#also rip mygo yall will probably never get in but who knows maybe one day Ill have my second bndori era and then y'all will get in#its rly just the fact that they likely wont have enough cards to properly add them for another few years#especially if that other band also gets in if that happens neither are getting enough cards until the servers shut down lol#like I Could just pick and choose but thats boring#kinda ruins the point of the au y'know?#like tbf Ive cheated in the past by reroling two and limiting my options with several sekai characters#but thats just because at the time most sekai characters had almost no usable cards for this au and the two I rerolled were also unusable#like Im sorry but I couldnt just add normal ass hagumi and masking it wasn't happening
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