#will probably be deleted later idk what im getting at writing this here. disillusionment or whatever | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cloudbends · 4 months ago

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I feel a bit wary saying this because it doesn't feel quite real yet, but! had my last week of college classes last week. I still have to get through my last exam period but it's very odd to think this degree is almost over and done with. many thoughts about it in general.

#vi rambling #well. TIME TO RAMBLE #I think degrees in general are a very normalized stage of life but it felt so abnormal to me to go through so i thought id #share my thoughts. because theyre complicated!#i chose a degree solely based on my interests. which may haven't been the smartest choice all in all #considering i dont think it'll grant me any job opportunities and well.#considering my main aspirations is to Create some sorta something it at the very least widened my breadth of knowledge.#but i have to admit im mostly very frustrated. because while its obviously natural to laser focus on studies #my creativity's really stagnated over the last 3-4 years. kinda feels like i wasted my time on something and kinda missed the train whateve #that means. idk. art history was a lot more rewarding than film thats for sure because film theory is unfortunately mostly complete bs.#and honestly every year of college was a complete disaster on a personal note i dont feel like getting into but each year was surrounded by #so many bad circumstances that the fact its gonna be over feels like. it isnt over until its over. im still scared something will pop up an #will suddenly yet again fuck things up for me and this degree Wont happen. idk.#but yeah mostly i an very much looking forward to practical art studies. something to actually idk. make me feel like #im making the most out of myself. instead of trapping it under mountains of collegework. and stagnating #will probably be deleted later idk what im getting at writing this here. disillusionment or whatever

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