#this may make sense only to me but that's fine bc I have too many thoughts I can't articulate about this au

[anarchyatthesupermarket]

I have more thoughts I would like to share about this series! So again spoilers for "Wait for me"/my necromancy au" under the cut

Going back to the 8th fic "We're nothing but myths now" (Yeti, Paris Paloma). Chapter 1, "I have hands for building alters, lips to pray to reckless gods, I was made to be a devotee" (The Bog Bodies, Rabbitology), is told from Enderian's perspective as she meets and falls in love with Isla. I think it's slightly ironic bc in Fable SMP Enderian is the goddess and Isla just a mortal while in this series Enderian is also a mortal and referring to Isla as a god/someone worthy of worship through the title. Chapter 2, "Please love, never leave" (The Bog Bodies, Rabbitology) is from the same song but told from Isla's perspective based entirely on the last scene were Enderian leaves. The title itself is Isla begging Enderian to stay. Chapter 3, "And if you were drowned at sea I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe" (Brother, Kodaline) focuses on Len and the actions that lead to necromancers being feared. Vorago is a reason for his actions for the "if you were drowned at sea" and Len is a necromancer capable of raising the dead "I'd gove you my lungs so you could breathe" but that line also references how Lennarius is willing to disfigure himself for his brother.

#11: "This will be the death of me" (Allies Or Enemies, The Crane Wives) is the aftermath of what happened after part 10. Chapter 1, "Prove to me I'm not going to die alone" (Putting The Dog To Sleep, The Antlers) is such a good song, I love it, and I think the vibes of it (of someone begging someone else to not leave them alone) fit really well bc in the first chapter I wanted to prove that Fenris/Caspian/Aax cared about Rae and wanted him to be safe. Chapter 2, "I pray to God it's the kindest thing, I know the kindest thing is to never leave you alone" (The Rockrose and the Thistle, The Amazing Devil), is from Isla's perspective and the title fits her desires bc she wakes up alone with Rae's body and that's her son whom she can't leave like that. In a way she's the one praying that she's being kind to Rae when she gets Momboo to bring him back. You could also relate it to Rae earlier in the series wondering if it was a good idea or not to bring Isla back and how it's considered a mercy to have buried Raemond and Everett together.

#12: "Why would you play it all on somethin' as hollow as trust" (Why Would You Be Loved, Hozier) is Rae truly facing the consequences of his actions and having what he knew would happen happen. He knew/asked from the very beginning if they would hate him for bring his family back and he brought Isla back anyways and he was right about people hating him. He played the life, friendships, and relationships he had created (his second chance at life) on the trust of Lodestar Grove.

On a slightly different note, I watched Nimona earlier this evening and it had me thinking about how people view necromancers. There's a point in the movie where Nimona saves a young girl, turns into a young girl to comfort her, and is called a monster because the kid was taught that she (Nimona) is a monster. For a while Rae can be accepted and loved by those around him (the girl can be amazed by Nimona and her power and the fact that Nimona saved her) and then once again he's a monster (the girl pointing a sword at Nimona) because of something that he does. Nimona and Glorith might be a bit better of an example because they were friends before and Nimona was accepted for who she was (Rae bringing Centross back to life and showing off his magic but still being called beautiful by Fenris/Caspian/Aax) and then Glorith's parents saw Nimona's magic and being scared of something new (Momboo found the aftermath of Rae bringing Isla back to life). Momboo's anger and Rae's reaction (the reaction of Glorith's parents and other townspeople) had Fenris/Caspian/Aax seeing Rae as a monster (had Glorith holding a sword to Nimona) and that exact same thing had been repeated before with every other necromancer.

People fear/hate necromancers because they've been taught that necromancers are monsters... that necromancers are evil just like the city had been taught that Nimona was a monster and was evil

I want to yell about fic and chapter titling stuff for my necromancy au so like link to series and then spoilers under that

I don't know how much of this will make sense. It's last so my brain isn't working at %100 and I'm autistic so my brain also works in weird ways. I'm bad at articulating my thoughts like this so it all sounded so much better in my head but I had to try. I may add onto this as I get more thoughts about it.

first off, the title of the series itself: "Wait for me, I'm coming, wait, I'm coming with you". Hadestown is based on the greek tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice (my favorite myth). In both the myth and my fic it's a story about a character trying to get someone they love back thought for my necromancy au it's familial love. I also named this series when I didn't know if it was going to end well or not for Rae (I still don't know but shush, we're not going to talk about that).

The first fic: "I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him unground" from Talk by Hozier references Orpheus and Eurydice. I don't have as much to say about this fic bc I wasn't putting as much thought into the chapter names when I wrote them. "Is this a bunker or a shallow grave" (Hollow Moon, The Crane Wives) references the fact that Rae was just pulled from a grave and how whenever he gets anxious those feelings bring up images of dirt/drowning/death. "Can we skip past the death-death cliches" (Touch, Sleeping at Last) is because that's the chapter where Centross dies but is also brought back to death, he gets to "skip" death.

Second fic: "Though I knew my heart would break" (Francesca, Hozier) is abour Everett and Raemond's death and Francesca by Hozier is about two lovers from Dante's Inferno who die together and then spend the rest of eternity together much like how Everett and Raemond are buried together in the same grave. It's a love song about not regretting the choices that brought them to the end/hell because she (Francesca) would do it all again if she ended up with her lover.

Third fic: "All I want is to flip a switch before something breaks that cannot be fixed" (Touch, Sleeping At Last). Again, partially bc this is a telling of what happened around Centross' death but from Fenris/Centross' pov so it felt right to use the same song. Also again, bringing Centross back to life is fixing something that broke.

Fourth fic: "What will you leave behind? Oh we all still die" (Willow Tree March, The Paper Kites) is about Rae trying to figure out his spot in Lodestar Grove in the aftermath of Centross's death. In this fic he talks to Centross and Momboo and his relationship with both of them has changed a lot, he's gotten closer to Centross while any hope of a friendship with Momboo has been left behind with Centross' death.

5th fic: "How long have you been harboring that venom" (My mind now, Paris Paloma) is referring to the venom/hatred Rae has developed for his magic. There's a line in the song ("was it a first offense?") which I feel like fits really well also to what's going on in Rae's mind at this time with what's happening with Momboo (she hates him so much for one thing that he did) and with himself (beating himself up over loosing control once in the library) while also trying to figure out if he (Rae) did something earlier to deserve being treated like he is.

6th fic: "All my love and terror balanced there between those eyes" (Abstract psychopomp, Hozer). Listen, I just love this song. I don't have a lot to say about Caspian's chapter ("the feeling came late, I'm still glad I met you") by itself but Aax's ("the memory hurts but does me no harm") makes me think about how in FableSMP Aax and Rae knew each other as children even though that isn't canon to this au and Fenris' ("the moment I knew I'd no choice but to love you") feels like Rae's finally accepting that he loves his boyfriends and he's happy and he took so long to figure it out ("the feeling came late") and he wants to treasure the time he has with them even though he's going to bring his family back which Rae is convinced will make Cas/Aax/Fenris/everyone hate him but he doesn't want to throw the present away because of the future ("I'm still glad I met you" even though it's going to end badly like a certain greek myth).

7th fic: "My mind has not been silent" (my mind now, Paris Paloma) is Rae telling Jamie about what happened with Momboo that's been unable to ever fully stop thinking about her words. It's also from the same song as fic #5 with mirror (ish) plot lines of someone close to Momboo finding Rae and talking to him as he's struggling with seeing himself as a monster though Rae tells Jamie what happened between him and Momboo but doesn't tell Fenris.

the 8th fic is just a bunch of short stories but I think the title "we're nothing but myths now" (Yeti, Paris Paloma) fics because it's going to be filled with one-shots of stuff that happened away from what's happening directly around Rae and often talking about stuff that happened before Fenris dug Rae up

#9: "Nothing lasts forever, some things aren't meant to be" (Hello My Old Heart, The Oh Hellos), even if Rae isn't constantly thinking about it in this fic there's this acceptance that he's going to bring back his family and the life he built with his friend's can't last. The mentions of rigor mortis, livor mortis, and adipocere return and there's the last time he gets to hang out with Athena, Jamie, Aax, Caspian, and Fenris bc Rae doesn't know if his relationships with them will survive what he has planned.

#10: "If I don't make it back from where I've gone just know I loved you all along" (Inkpot Gods, The Amazing Devil) is Rae going through with his plan despite his belief that he's going to loose his friends. He talks to Isla's grave but we never get to see Rae saying goodbye to his partners (unlike how he got to say goodbye to his family before their death). Maybe he wanted their last memories of him before they realize he's a monster to be good and happy? And in the end he doesn't make it back because bringing his family back proves to be too much.

[thewritersofdeceased]

HELLOO!! Soooo I so love your Tbp content!! And This is my first time ever requesting anything, and I'm so excited for tbp 2 anyways enough of my rambling :>>

Can you please make a Vance x Reader, like for example Vance is like very into Reader but reader is terrified of him bc of his reputation and all yk? If that makes sense lol

Hey, hey! No worries about the rambling I love it! This was a blast to write!! (please anyone request more Vance stuff I love writing him so much)

Gender neutral pronouns ! 

Vance was in love.

That’s right. For once in his life, Vance Hopper was in love. It felt weird. He saw how this sort of stuff affected his parents, but he hoped this wouldn’t end up the same. His parents were a terrible duo. At least his father was. He worked with the law, and he was usually the one to show up and drag the blonde into the station. He always got annoyed. Not like Vance cared what his father thought. Let alone how many times he got dragged to the station.

No. Vance cared about what someone by the name of Y/N thought about him. That's who he was in love with. But Vance was a violent kid, a kid with a hot-temper and a couple records in the cops record book. The amount of fights he got into and the amount of times he got arrested because of them. Or the threat of charges. Now that was hell when ever a parent of a kid would threaten him with charges, let alone when it was Moose. He hated Moose. Moose was a bully, everyone knew this. Though he despised the man whenever he would go after Y/N. The amount of times those two fought and got sent to the principles office was crazy.

Way too many times could Vance recall that. But here he stood again, leaning against his locker and standing beside a couple boys. They were younger than him, he could see that. Vance was around fourteen, the oldest of the group. He was the one about to go to highschool whilst the others entered their separate grades. That was fine with him. The boys would still have connections to him, they didn't live that far and the middle school wasn't a far walk. So if any of them got hurt or in a fight, Vance could run to the middle school and help 'em. Until Billy finally hit his own Freshmen year. Griffin was the youngest, so of course it would take a bit of time for him to reach High-School.

But what if y/n and him went to different high schools? What if y/n's parents decided to leave Denver and go somewher else? A soft sigh escaped Vance as a voice to his right rang out. "C'mon, Vance. You have to talk to them sooner or later." The voice to the right of him was Bruce Yamada, the second oldest of the group. "Right. They're scared of me, dumbass." Vance commented, rolling his eyes as he leaned his head against the locker. It only stiffed a laugh out of Bruce, who raised his brow and gently nudged Vance's shoulder. Bruce knew why people were weary of the group, and it was all because of Vance's reputation. But he wasn't the one to speak up next, no. Griffin did. Even if the boy hardly spoke, being selective Mute. "It's your reputation, Vance." The youngest boy thought of the blonde like an older brother.

Which, Vance didn't mind. He would protect the youngest kid with his life. He'd protect any of these kids with his life, even if he died. Well, he didn't want to die, that was for sure. A sigh escaped him as his arms crossed. "Well, then I've gotta pick up my act, ain't I? If I want a chance with them?" This surprised the younger and second oldest. "You really plan on changing your ways, Vance?" Bruce asked as he stared at the blonde with messy hair. It'd be a challenge for the fighter. He knew that for sure. But he needed to change if he'd have a chance with Y/N. A low sigh escaped Vance as he crossed his arms and hummed. "I have to. I like 'em, you all know this." He reminded, trying to keep himself calm as he watched y/n interact with their friends.

This may take a while, but if he wanted to talk to them? He had to do it. He had to stop getting into fights, as bad as that would be. Specifically when it came to Moose. Or Buzz and Matt, and even Matty. He was a fighter, but he'd stop for his crush. Lower his reputation one way or another.

[infiniteetcetera]

RAPID FIRE ACOTAR CHARACTER HOT TAKES

. [Mostly focused on side characters but thoughts about our mains too BC why not]

🔥Emerie is one of THE most underrated characters and deserved a bigger storyline in ACOSF (obviously it’s Nestas book but other side characters like Gwyn, Feysand, etc got more time that could have been hers)

🔥I don’t know why people really like Helion or want him with LOA😭 mans has let her be in an abusive relationship for DECADES & I feel like if he really loved/deserved her he would have blood dueled by now. he might make a fine father for Lucien but I don’t want to read a love story that involves a few centuries of abandonment

🔥I like genuinely wonder often if the rest of Lucien’s brothers are evil evil. Like if Eris is playing along to their abusive dad’s whims, how do we know the rest of them aren’t? They likely don’t know Eris is different so why would he know that about them? Lucien didn’t? IDK i’m just curious about more Vanserras

🔥Jurian is genuinely one of the funniest characters👀 his revival may be a little pointless but his vibes are immaculate and he’s underrated

🔥You don’t have to hate Mor for leading Azriel on (there are others reasons to not like her) but she definitely did💀aside from the fact every character including her says it we get literal scenes of it too. like she FR tells Feyre he has a huge dick and just says so many other sexual/romantic things about him that are NOT platonic, it makes sense he’s been confused AF😭

🔥Kallias and Viviane have one of the sweetest love stories in the series and I wish we saw more of them. they also just have such good vibes & if they’re gonna keep popping up for little cameos I want more deets

🔥TW SA: I won’t even argue about Tamlins wrongs against Feyre bc i’ve done so before & it isn’t worth the breath BUT it bewilders me that so many people ignore/excuse what he did to Lucien😭 aside from just the generally abusive vibes he not only ignored what Ianthe was doing to Lucien (when equally if not more depressed people like Feyre/Rhys noticed) but also made him have sex with that creepy ass predator😩 Lucien’s struggle with that is so overlooked in general but still bothers me people ignore Tamlins fault in it and that Lucien is now groveling for his friendship

🔥 While on the topic of SA, i’ve seen a lot of people in the fandom have such a gross attitude about what happened to Rhys recently. like man has plenty of flaws and has done a lot of wrong things but that’s not an excuse to make jokes about him being SA’d for DECADES especially when male SA representation is so rare and it’s dumbass jokes like the kind fans are now making that makes guys feel uncomfortable about speaking up

🔥One more on this topic, the SA Nesta experienced is also SO overlooked, even by the narrative itself. The general fact she was using sex as a form of self harm/punishment is also weirdly addressed a few times but then excused if it’s with Cassian in a way that’s so gross

🔥Feyre and Rhys having Nyx so soon was a bad decision. No matter how many people bring up the “oh they were so close to dying” “oh they don’t want to waste time” blah blah blah doesn’t change the fact that’s a TERRIBLE reason to have kids😭 like does the fact they made that decision kind of make sense given what they experienced? sure! was it at all smart or level headed or much more than a trauma response? literally no

🔥I feel like Rhys’ mom…kind of sucks? She’s spoken about more highly than any of the other ACOTAR parents but she literally forced her son to go to a child soldier camp she knew was full of misogyny, poverty, and a bunch of other barbaric practices, did nothing to help any of the other kids unless she was forced to (Rhys brought cassian home, and Az’s mom begged her to take him, she then let Rhys & Cas beat on this poor traumatized boy) and overall Rhys turned out far from perfect but actually could have been SO much worse when you think about it

🔥On the topic of bad parents KIER BEING ALIVE STILL IS SO STUPID AND MAKES NO SENSE.

[the-painted-siren]

Anything At All

Summary: Lloyd is an adult who’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself—or so he wants Zane to believe. Good thing Zane doesn’t believe. Notes: A little thing I wrote for Round 1 of Who Wrote That in the Ninjago fic server I’m part of. Decided to polish it off and post it bc I had a good time writing it.

“You’re upset.”

It’s a statement, not a question. 

Lloyd glances up, his expression one that Zane knows all too well: brows creased, face pinched, eyes gleaming with a sheen of exhaustion. Lloyd leans back in his chair, an irritated grumble rumbling in his throat. 

“I am not.” Lloyd throws his pencil onto the stack of scrolls before him. The names of each of his students lay across the pages, accompanied by notes, diagrams, and schedules. Eraser shavings and crumpled-up papers overflow on his desk. 

“It's normal to be upset,” Zane says. “You're stressed from a long day.” 

Lloyd waves him off, yawning. “I’ve seen worse days,” he mutters. “I can get through this one.” 

“Have you eaten today?” 

Lloyd combs his fingers through his hair, a heavy sigh rolling out of him as he sinks down into his chair. He doesn’t look at Zane for the longest time, but the corners of his mouth turn to a pout like a child that’s been caught stealing sweets before dinner. 

“No,” he finally admits. “But it’s fine. I’ll find something to snack on later.” 

“You should eat,” Zane comments. “I can make something—”

“That’s nice.” Lloyd rises to his feet, a scowl flitting across his features as he pushes Zane toward the door. “But I’m a grown-up. I can feed myself.” 

“But I—”

Lloyd gives Zane a proper shove out into the hallway. 

“I appreciate it, buddy, really, but you can’t help this time.” 

———

Zane doesn’t believe that. 

He plays many roles within the team—medic, builder, analyst. He was built to protect and repair. And while he can’t traditionally repair Lloyd’s struggles, he figures he may be able to lighten them. He can take some of the weight off of Lloyd’s shoulders. 

Because Lloyd works—he works and he trains and he fights. Mostly because he loves doing it. He loves protecting Ninjago with every ounce of his bleeding, golden heart, even if he never says it. 

Deep down, though, Zane suspects it’s also because Lloyd doesn’t know how to do anything else. 

Zane figures he’s approximately 25% responsible for that. Less, if he takes Nya and Master Wu into account. More, if he considers the many times he’s recklessly thrown himself into battle, almost died protecting those he cares about, and never opened those vulnerable parts of himself for others to repair. 

Terrible examples that Zane knows Lloyd has internalized. 

Though, FSM forbid he ever point that out—Lloyd would have a fit.  

That leaves Zane the only option of supporting Lloyd through less direct means, which he remembers how to do with his favorite pastime. 

Cooking tethers Zane to his sense of self. It goes beyond a set of calculations that his superhuman brain can produce in seconds. He considers it an art and one of the few things that call for his opinion and not cold, hard facts—it’s something he knows he can always use to comfort his family.  

For Lloyd, Zane brings out a recipe of deep nostalgia and laughter. 

A noodle soup with a rich, golden broth flavored by an assortment of spices, ginger, lime, and cilantro. Traditionally made with beef or chicken, Zane has since changed the recipe to favor shrimp instead, as Lloyd proved to have a taste for it as a child. 

A few hours later, Zane sweeps into Lloyd’s room and sets the piping hot bowl of soup down on his desk. Lloyd looks up and immediately scowls. 

“Zane, I told you to leave me alone,” Lloyd snaps. “Can’t you see I’m busy?” 

Zane doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he scans the contents of Lloyd’s desk.  

“You are working on customized training programs for your students?” Zane asks. 

“Yes.” 

“You teach them because you care about them?”

“ Yes, ” Lloyd hisses. 

“If teaching is your way of expressing love, then cooking is mine,” Zane asserts, “and you are not the only one who is allowed to express their love here.” 

Lloyd looks gobsmacked that Zane would dare speak to him that way. He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, spluttering for words that simply won’t come. Eventually, he scoffs, picks up a fork, and stabs at the food. 

Despite Lloyd’s agonizing display, Zane reckons that everything will turn out fine. He followed the recipe he wrote to the letter, the same as always. It’s never failed before; it shouldn’t now. 

Still, he finds himself watching with anticipation rushing to his head.

Lloyd shoves a forkful of noodles and shrimp into his mouth and chews—quickly first, then slowly, before he stops altogether. 

A shot of icy panic spears through Zane’s mind. Surely, he hadn’t made a mistake? Unless Lloyd had grown out of enjoying his food? Did Lloyd not like it—

A soft rumbling sound touches the air, familiar in every way. 

It takes Zane a moment to process what it is, but when he does, all of his doubt melts away. 

Purring. Lloyd is purring.

His pointed ears—from his supernatural heritage—flick once, ever so slightly. Then again, and again, until they flutter like the wings of a butterfly. Lloyd leans over the bowl, a content smile pulling at his lips as he swallows and dives for the next bite, slurping up noodles with reckless abandon. 

A cool sense of relief floods through Zane’s body at the sight. 

Ever since the Merge, Lloyd rarely seemed joyful. It was as though the years of loneliness had left him struggling to reconnect with even his closest friends and all the more desperate to assert his independence. Especially since his responsibilities had grown to include two—no, three, Zane recounts—kids and a busier monastery to maintain. 

To see Lloyd smile again soothed Zane more than words could explain. 

“Be sure to bring your bowl back to the kitchen once you’ve finished,” Zane says as he takes his leave. “I can serve up seconds for you too, if you wish.”

Lloyd suddenly spins around in his chair, eyes wide. 

“Uh, wait, Zane!”

Zane pauses in the doorway.

“Um… I know this might be a lot to ask…” Lloyd stumbles over his words, eyes darting away. “But… you know those spring rolls you make sometimes? The ones that have shrimp and pork and all that—” Lloyd makes a vague gesture with his hand. “ —green stuff you put in it. Could you…?”

“Of course,” Zane answers swiftly. “I’d be happy to make some for you.” 

Lloyd beams—soft and relaxed against the golden light of dusk pouring into the room. 

“Thanks, Zane,” Lloyd says. 

Zane merely smiles, happy to be of assistance. 

Anything at all to make his little brother smile again.

[marsbarsfrommars]

alone with you (the only heaven I'll be sent to)

star wars: the high republic | rated t | complete | 2,344 words | avar kriss/elzar mann | fluff, a little hurt/comfort

summary

She nods and simply says the only thing she has to, “I understand.” 

“I knew you would,” he responds with a certainty that makes Avar's heart seize. 

or, in a quiet moment post-chapter 53, avar finds out about elzar almost dying on grizal

read

under the cut or on ao3 for better formatting

notes

first of all, this is dedicated to the person who headcannoned that elzar has burn scars on his hands from crashing his vector on grizal. I've tried, but I can't find their post, so if anyone knows whose post I'm talking about, please comment so I can tag them here.

edit: it's the lovely @ledalausnows and you should definitely check out her posts bc she's super cool!!

also, a huge shout out to the thr fans on tumblr: if it wasn't for you I probably wouldn't have finished this. thank you for all your support and I hope you enjoy this <3

this is the first time in at least six years that I've actually finished one of my wips, so while I'm a little proud of this, the quality might be questionable. my perfectionism made me proof read this so many times I could probably recite it from memory so I hope this is readable and I fixed all major mistakes. anyways, I hope you enjoy this

also, english isn't my first language, so please just ignore any grammar/spelling mistakes

content warning for mentions of scars, injuries, near-death experiences and past major character death. none of this is in any way graphic but I wanted to mention it anyways

The overhead lights in Avar’s quarters are turned down to a dim glow, and it's quiet apart from the gentle hum of the ship's engines. The night cycle must have started a while ago, but neither of them had noticed; both of them were too wrapped up in each other. Now, though, they're resting. Elzar on his back in her bunk, one arm gently wrapped around her with his hand lazily caressing her waist, and Avar on her stomach, half resting on his chest, the fabric of his shirt soft under her wandering hands. 

It's nice like this—peaceful. For a moment, Avar allows herself to forget about their upcoming task, about the possible danger the future holds, and just exist in this moment with Elzar. She feels more at peace than she has in months, possibly years. She slowly runs her hand down Elzar’s arm and intertwines her fingers with his, her thumb softly brushing over the back of his hand. The motion is familiar; they've held hands more times than she can count in those weeks since she escaped the Occlusion Zone, but there's something that makes her pause. It only takes her a moment to realise that tonight is the first time since that fateful night in the garden on Starlight Beacon that they've held hands without the barrier of Elzar’s gloves between them. Elzar wearing gloves is in itself nothing out of the ordinary for a Jedi; most of them routinely wear them as part of their robes, which explains why she hasn't noticed it before. Now that she really thinks about it though, it does strike her as odd that she can't remember seeing him without gloves even once since their reunion. 

She slowly brushes her thumb over the back of Elzar’s hand again. The skin feels rougher in some spots. Avar knows the feeling of scars, enough of them are covering her own body, but she can't recall Elzar ever suffering an injury to his hands that would cause scarring this significant. She raises their intertwined hands to his chest, and sure enough, a thin web of healed fine-line and burn scars covers the back of his hand and wrist. An uneasy feeling settles in her stomach. What happened to Elzar to leave his hands scarred like this, and why wouldn't he tell me? 

Elzar, sensing the subtle change in her demeanour, chooses precisely this moment to open his eyes and look up at her. And for a moment, as silly as it may sound, she feels overwhelmed by the sheer force of her feelings for him. She had missed him for years, and sometimes, even though it's been months since their reunion, she still can't believe she doesn't have to anymore. Avar is certain he already knows what she wants to ask about, but he doesn't say anything, waiting for her to take the first step, so she does. 

“These aren't recent.” It's a remark, not a question. She knows Elzar will tell her everything without her having to ask. There are no secrets between them; nothing is left unspoken. Not anymore. The thought makes a familiar warmth bloom in her chest. 

“No.” Elzar’s voice is soft, reserved for the quiet of quarters and whispered secrets after dark. “I got them on Grizal when my Vector crashed. The healers at the Temple did their best and apparently Bacta also helped a lot, but they couldn't prevent the scars.”

Avar furrows her brow. “I didn't know you were injured on Grizal.” She feels Elzar's body tense ever so slightly underneath her, anyone else wouldn't have noticed, but him and her—and Stellan, of course—have always shared an unusually deep connection, and now they're as attuned to each other as they haven't been in years, perhaps ever. 

“It was at the end of the battle. We thought we were winning, but we didn't know there were Nameless on Grizal. I don't remember this part at all, and most of what came after is pretty blurry in my head, but Stellan later told me that he saw my Vector go straight down. I don't understand why, but I must have passed out when the Nameless appeared. My Vector caught fire when it crashed, and the cockpit bubble shattered. I wasn't wearing gloves that day, that's why the damage to my skin there was so severe. Ty pulled me out, saved my life. I don't remember anything after, but I know Stellan was with me.” 

Avar takes a moment to process all of this. When she finally speaks, her tone isn't accusatory, there may be a tinge of hurt to it though. “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Stellan?” she asks. Before Elzar can answer, a terrible thought takes shape in her mind. “It's not that you thought I wouldn't care, is it?” 

No matter what happened, she had never and would never stop caring about Elzar and Stellan. She knows without a doubt that it's the same for them, but she and Elzar hadn't spoken for a year at that point, and her relationship with Stellan had already been strained, so what if they had started to doubt her? Avar lowers her head. She's not sure she can look him in the eyes when he answers, the possibility of what she'll see there—of what he'll see in her—too overwhelming. 

Elzar draws his hand away from her waist to gently cup her face and tilt her head up until her eyes meet his again. His gaze is earnest and there's an urgency in it—he needs her to believe what he says next. She already knows she will before he can utter a single word because she trusts him implicitly, and she knows that trust is mutual. 

“No, I never thought that, I promise.” He pauses for a second and takes a deep breath, “And I know that Stellan didn't either.” 

Avar lets out a shuddering breath and tries to quell her bubbling emotions, which threaten to spill over at his words. Even so, her voice sounds a little shaky when she asks, “Are you sure?” 

Elzar nods sincerely. “I am. Stellan wanted to comm you, but I told him not to. We argued about it, and he relented in the end.” 

The sheer relief she feels at his reassurance is dampened by one burning question, but she doesn't have to ask for him to tell her. 

“I wanted you to know, I really did, but you were halfway across the galaxy fighting the Drengir and I didn't want you to be distracted.” He briefly averts his eyes, as if he's unsure about his next sentence, before he says, “I thought if you found out, you'd want to come see me, but we both know you couldn't have, and I didn't want to make it harder on you.” 

Part of her wants to argue, wants to protest that she would have come if only she had known. But Elzar is right; she couldn't have. Still, she wishes someone had told her. But of course he wouldn't want that, she should have known. Elzar tends to view himself as selfish, but she has always known him to put the wellbeing of others, particularly hers and Stellans, above his own. 

“And later?” she prompts gently. It's certainly not a conversation either of them had expected to have tonight, and she never wants to push him, but they've spent so much time keeping things to themselves in fear of crossing a line that hardly existed in the first place, and what good did it do them? 

“As bizarre as it sounds, almost dying wasn't the worst experience I had that week.” Now it's his voice that sounds shaky. The experience has clearly affected him more than he's currently letting on, understandably so, and Avar sends a burst of warmth through the Force. 

“When I was fully healed, everything was still so chaotic after Valo and Grizal, and there was so much going on that it just didn't seem that important.” Avar hates that he thinks that way but doesn't interrupt him; there will be time for reassurance later. “I got used to the scars fairly quickly, and even though they should be a constant reminder, I hardly think about it now. And I don't wish to. I've made my peace with everything that happened and everything I did then, I truly did, but I still don't like to remember it.” 

Avar understands, of course she does. Enough bad things have happened to her in these last few years that she's made peace with, as is the Jedi way, but still doesn't like to think of. They're the same in that way. She nods and simply says the only thing she has to, “I understand.” 

“I knew you would,” he responds with a certainty that makes Avar's heart seize. 

There's a pause in their conversation then, both of them processing and coming to terms with what was and what hasn't yet been said. Avar is the one to break it when she says, “Please never do that again.” 

Elzar quirks an eyebrow, the tension caused by their conversation slowly melting away. It seems he has decided that the heavy part of their conversation is over, which Avar truly doesn't mind. “Which part? Almost dying or not telling you about it?” 

“Oh, do shut up,” Avar says, but there's no heat to it, just affectionate warmth. 

Elzar laughs softly and pulls her down for a gentle kiss. Far too soon, Avar pulls away again and cups his face with her free hand, her thumb gently stroking his cheek. This time it's her who needs him to believe her next words. Her voice is soft yet insistent when she says, “I care about you, El. I don't want you to get hurt. And if you do, I want to be by your side if it's in any way possible. And even if I can't be, I want to at least know, please.” 

Elzar nods, every trace of playfulness gone from his face and replaced by sincerity. “I know, and I promise you, the next time anything of the sort happens to me, I will tell you.” 

Avar nods as well. “Good.” 

A slow smile spreads across his face at that and the tenderness in his eyes is almost overwhelming. Avar thinks if she had a mirror, she'd surely see it reflected in her own eyes. 

Elzar turns his head and presses a gentle kiss to the inside of her wrist, and she feels the familiar warmth spread in her chest once again, chasing away the last remnants of distress. 

She leans down to press her lips to his once again, their connection in the Force glowing with love and understanding, making her feel almost giddy. 

The kiss turns heated when Avar slides the hand still cupping Elzar’s check back into his hair, her fingers tangling in the soft strands, pressing her lips to his with more urgency. Elzar responds in kind by wrapping his arm around her waist once again and pulling her as close as their current position allows. She feels butterflies in her stomach at that, like when she was seventeen and kissed him for the first time. It amazes her that time and distance haven't dulled the effect he's always had on her in the slightest, but then again, how could they? He's Elzar, after all, her Elzar. 

They don't belong to each other, of course not; there's no possessiveness to their love. But they belong with each other; side by side always. They both know it and the Force rings true with it. 

They break apart, eyes closed and foreheads still pressed together. The kiss has left both of them breathless, as kisses like this often do. Once they've recovered enough to open their eyes and ever so slightly pull away from each other, and Avar really gets to look at him again, she is hit with the realisation of just how beautiful Elzar is like this. She doesn't think there has ever been a moment where she hasn't thought of him as beautiful, but seeing him like this is something else entirely. The dim glow of the overhead lights is reflected in his dark eyes, his hair disheveled from where she ran her hands through it earlier, a soft smile gracing his lips. A sight that's reserved just for her. 

Avar's musings are interrupted when Elzar starts to speak again, his voice still sounding a little breathless. “Avar, I…,” he begins but then trails off, unable to finish his sentence. It doesn't bother Avar. She knows. 

She pulls their still-intertwined hands up to press a gentle kiss to his knuckles, then the back of his hand, then his wrist. She feels his sharp intake of breath more than hears it, and when she meets his eyes, he's gazing at her with a look in his dark eyes Avar can't quite place. Later, she will come to recognise it as pure, unfiltered devotion. 

“Stars, Avar,” he murmurs. 

Elzar seems to know exactly what she's thinking—or maybe he just shares the sentiment—because he kisses her again, his hand slipping under her shirt to gently caress the bare skin of her waist. It's an exquisite kiss, and for the moment Avar allows herself to get lost in it, in this, until the only thoughts in her head are how lovely it is to feel so at peace, and Elzar. Always, always Elzar. 

“What is it?” she asks. For a split-second, she's scared she's overstepped, but Elzar just shakes his head and leans up to brush his lips against hers in a tender kiss that ends far too quickly for her liking. If it were up to her, he'd never stop kissing her, she thinks, only slightly bothered by the fact that she sounds like a character in one of those stereotypical Jedi romance novels Kantam and her used to read to each other for fun in their Padawan days. 

[aquatark]

Can I ask your opinion on Endless Ocean Luminous?

Thanks for the ask anon! :D

I've been trying to get my thoughts on this game together into something that makes sense for a while now, but no better time than the present!

tldr: I seem to like it more than most people! I think this game is alright though it's still very flawed, and I'm still enjoying myself with it, but it seems very clearly rushed and it shows. I'm still very happy that the series has a third entry at all, and am looking forward to the future of the series after this game!

...okay, now I'm gonna aimlessly ramble for wayyy too long lmao (spoilers under the cut if you haven't played)

So, to get a few of my biggest gripes out of the way:

Having completed it... the plot is god awful (esp the ending, iykyk). I think I would have preferred having none at all, but Daniel is cool

The English voice of Sera isn't ideal, though this is an issue other languages (like Japanese, French) don't seem to have

The setting, character development, and lore is much more shallow, uninteresting, and poorly-explored through gameplay than any other diving game Arika has made, which is saying a lot bc EO1's plot was invented pretty close to release, and is known for also not being great

The game doesn't run as smoothly as I'd like. maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I remember a time when devs didn't feel like they could release their game if it crashes as often online as this game does

Some of this game's creature textures are far less polished than they ought to be for a Switch game. Surprisingly, most of the ones ported from Arika's defunct mobile fishing game are fine! It's stuff like the megamouth shark and bigfin reef squid that really stand out to me as sub-par

I'm not as bothered about this as some ppl seem to be, but I would have liked a little more customization freedom, ala EO2's suit cuts

Many creature descriptions are copied verbatim from EO2, which I really dislike. wasted a perfect opportunity to highlight different aspects of creatures, not rehash the same tired and basic facts

Though I love the concept of dynamic time of day underwater, it's executed very poorly imo. Could have done with some more fine-tuning (something that could be said abt... a lot of this game lol)

All of this however only detracts a little from my enjoyment of the game overall.

The fact that something like the story can be shipped in the final product with a dev team that shares many many people with the original EO games (seriously, compare the staff lists on the wiki, I genuinely teared up seeing so many familiar faces again)... suggests to me that this game was subjected to crazy time constraints, though I don't have any concrete proof. Nintendo has been known recently to be anti-crunch with some of its biggest IPs, so maybe an Arika problem? Regardless, this game shouldn't have released in the condition it's in, and definitely should not be the price it is.

I really don't like being too negative though, so I won't be! After all, and this may be controversial coming from an EO blog... but the various flaws of Arika's previous diving games made this not be the biggest surprise to me. I mean, I 100%ed EO1, including collecting every salvage and getting all gear/hairstyles! Do you have any idea how hellish that is? I eat slop for breakfast!!

I've still been playing a lot of this game with my dear friend MDB (us pictured below), and there are a lot of things I like about it!

I will, for example, drool all over this game's sound design till the day my son "dies" in a tragic submarine accident. Ayako Saso (main talent behind Everblue 1/2, EO1/2, and Luminous' original compositions and sound in general) knocked it out of the park as usual, with the menu sfx feeling really Everblue reminiscent in a way I adore, and the music easily being some of the best in the series. I know many fans are disappointed by there being no vocal tracks, but honestly? While I like the fact EO1 and 2 had them, they simply wouldn't have fit in this game. So I'm chill about it.

I think the random generation and focus on multiplayer are fun and fresh for the series! I have EO1 and 2 when I want polished singleplayer gameplay, and this game when I feel like something else. EO1 and 2's multiplayer objectively sucked, so it's a really interesting angle to take. The gameplay loop is entertaining enough for me - I like salvaging, scanning creatures, collecting tags, and hunting orbs, both in solo and shared dives. The framework is solid, but could use a little more meat.

The fact they were finally able to realize the "Ancient Sea" concept that had been thrown around during development since EO1 is lovely. Despite having been a dinosaur kid, I'm not really knowledgeable on any of the species depicted in-game, so their designs don't bother me... I'm just a sucker for human ruins overrun by prehistoric life!

Though there are some categories of sea creature that I'm a little sad not to see anymore, like seadragons, sea slugs, and many marine mammals... I don't mind this game's different roster. I like the creature variety, because imo, it would have been a little boring and predictable to have the roster just be every creature that was previously in EO, plus some new ones. This system avoids the kind of problem Pokémon games are currently having, where they have so many critters that they can't possibly put them all in one game, but fans are upset not to have the entire dex ported, y'know? It's like playing EO for the first time again!

I've seen several people theorize that the series was "intentionally sabotaged with a bad new game, so that they have an excuse not to make any more EO games", and... I mean... all I'll say about that is that there's no use killing something that's already dead lol. There'd been no games for over a decade, and very little demand for one - why would a game company looking to make money put so much effort and money into marketing, development, pre-order bonuses, and My Nintendo rewards in order to create hype for a game that's bad on purpose... when they could have kept the series dead for free? Nintendo clearly believe the concept of diving games has legs (or fins ig), with a staff team who love the ocean and dive irl, and are trying new things to see if it sticks better than the previous four games they've made, which collectively sold worse than Luminous did.

It may not all be great, or even good, but experimentation and trying unconventional things is what made EO such a special series in the first place baybee! We just remember the parts of it we liked, and forget the really dumb stuff. The EO team has never been perfect, and I can see their smudgy fingerprints all over this game... I mean, these are the same devs who didn't notice a crash so bad it had their game recalled, and repeatedly yoinked copyrighted material without permission to use in their games... but that's a long post for another day lol.

Soooo yeah! Those are some of my thoughts! Feel free to express your own thoughts on the game here - I'd be curious what other people think, and I'd be more than happy to answer more asks on specific elements of the game, or just getting me talkin' about this game, or any other game in the series for that matter! Any EO questions at all, ask away~!

Thanks for reading, hehe! >( ')

[celestie0]

letter to anon (you know who you are)

honey, for what it’s worth, i think you’re incredibly mature. more mature than some doctors i’ve met, more mature than some med students i’ve met, more mature than some professionals & CEOs i’ve met, certainly more mature than my parents LOL and more mature than some of my friends that are in their mid to late twenties. seriously, don’t sell yourself short! i really mean this. you’d be so surprised how many fully blown adults i’ve met that have zero conflict resolution skills, even adults that are literally saving people’s lives. you have a very bright future ahead of you, i know it! that may be parasocial of me to say haha, but i really do mean it because i am so impressed by how you responded to me. it may just be a lil tumblr scuffle, but it’s often the little things that are the most telling of a person’s character imo

anywho, just wanted to say that, surprisingly, although i’ve chosen a very stressful career to willingly pursue lol, i too sometimes get stressed, and on my end, i was simply sad that i couldn’t really respond in the way that i felt you deserved (this doesn’t just apply to you, i feel awful for not getting to asks on time, or not responding to replies on time, i actually have like 60 unanswered comments in my inbox on ao3 right now n that has been eating me alive lol i just hate having it in the back of my head that i haven’t responded to people, it’s a feeling i don’t sit well with). my negative feelings don’t really come from “oh i find this annoying” but rather “i feel awful i can’t really respond to this in any meaningful way bc i’m strapped for time so perhaps it’s time to set boundaries” if that makes sense!

in any case, i know what it’s like being your age (i know you said you only recently became an adult so i’m assuming 18?) and all the insane feelings that comes with. i can definitely put myself in your shoes and remember how that all felt like, how you can go from knowing everything to knowing nothing, and tbh, i don’t look back fondly on those days. when you’re that age, you could be a completely different person in just the following day, that’s how fast that growth goes by, and it can be incredibly difficult to handle. i don’t take anything personally, and obviously do what’s most comfortable for you when it comes to interactions, but i really did mean it when i said i adore you and enjoy interacting with you! i just wanted to reach some common ground. but again, whatever you’re comfortable with is fine

good luck on your exams <3 i know it’s easy to run away from stuffs when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, but just remember that an hour you spend today working will be an hour for your future self to celebrate. the time will pass anyway. you’ve got this! rooting for you

much love, ellie

p.s. hopefully this is ambiguous enough, because i did at least want to reply, but lmk if you want me to delete this! and i will

[vitiligo-is-not-a-trend]

Happy holidays! First off I want to thank you for your account! I don’t have vitiligo, and I don’t know much about the condition outside of a few interactions with people irl and a couple figures in the media (ie. Michael Jackson, and Winnie Harlow). I still have more research to do; reading/listening to people’s personal vitiligo stories has helped, but your account has also been a really helpful guide!

I was wondering if you’d be willing to give some feedback on a character I’m creating. She’s a Black woman in her late 20s (maybe early 30s?) named Pam (her full name is Patricia Ann Miller, but she likes going by the acronym of her name). Right now, I’m thinking of making her an actress or photographer depending on how her storyline pans out. Here is her design for reference:

I was watching movies from the Golden Age of Hollywood era when I created her, so her main design inspirations were Dorothy Dandridge, Marilyn Monroe, etc.

For now, my main question is what do you think of her design, especially her pink hair? I ask this bc I saw an ask on a different account where the responding person said it seemed like the asker was trying to make their character appear “extra special” by giving their character two recessive genetics (albinism and heterochromia). Pam’s hair isn’t natural, just dyed, but I know vitiligo can already make a character physically stand out, so I didn’t want my design to come off that way.

I love pink-haired characters and making them, though I’ve never seen a pink-haired character with vitiligo (or many mainstream ones with vitiligo in general, from my experience). I was in the early stages of revamping a character I’d created in childhood, so I decided to use that design. That being said, I wanted her pink hair to be beyond surface-level reasons. Like, I love pink hair, but I think giving her character an actual reason to dye her hair, like expressing her creativity, could remove semblances of superficiality.

I have another inquiry(s) about her in-progress storyline to make her well-rounded (which would give more context to her character and overall design), but I think it may be too long for an ask 😅. If it’s ok with you, I’d be interested in messaging it to you!

Happy holidays to you as well!

My only real comment is "OH MY GOD SHE"S SO CUTE!!!"

Personally I don't see anything wrong with a character with vitiligo dying their hair! I think that since it's an active choice that the character is making as opposed to a thing the designer is doing to make them more "special" it's fine!

You mentioned wanting some beyond surface-level reasons for her hair dyed, and honestly I think it's fine if it's surface level! Sometimes you just want cute hair, personally I LOVE dying mine! But here are some questions/suggestions to think about if you want a deeper meaning: Did she dye it to hide some vitiligo streaks? Was it as a confidence booster? Did she start doing it to try to distract from the vitiligo?

There's nothing wrong with wanting or having a character standout; it really depends on the context/reasoning behind why if that makes sense? Like it's perfectly fine to have a character stand out or be "extra unique" in their appearance by giving them like vitiligo and heterochromia (Which I find to be overdone/a bit stereotypical but I digress), as long as like there's Awareness(tm) and it's not being done as some weird surface level diversity or whatever lmao

Also thank you for taking such care into the representation of your character! <3

Feel free to contact me or send in long or multiple asks! (If I take a while to respond it's 100% on me lmao)

[nothirstonmain]

Hii, just saw your blog and thought id make a req

I was thinking of something like PV cookie(pure vanilla), stardust cookie, and the prsk boys x fem! reader imagine who loves to steal their clothes and where them, but theryre sneaky abt. Like soemtimes char will randomy notice their clothes go missing, then when they visit readers house, they notice them snuggling in their oversized(for reader ofc) clothes. Also one time they gave them back their clothes bc 'it didn't smell like them anymore'

-lemonade

[ONCE AGAIN I am tapping the "I never have and never will write for fem!reader, i am here to represent us non-women" sign. regardless i'll do this just as gn!reader kk ty hands you This]

[Warnings: like OOC maybe?? Bad grasp on like 4/8 of the characters here. sweats.]

♡ PV doesn't think about much I want to believe. ♡ He just has his mind on the Vanilla Kingdom a lot and also his mind is imagining fluffy scenarios of you and him but shh ♡ So when his clothing starts going missing he doesn't really think much of it ♡ He'll just shrug and pick out something else, it's fine! ♡ However when he finds out you're the culprit? Oh he thinks it's adorable! ♡ Hope you can handle LOTS of compliments, cuddling, flirting, etc. He will drown you in it. ♡ He offers buying you clothes in his size at some point ♡ He'll gladly take back any clothes to put his scent back on them, too. He wants to keep his beloved happy!

♡ Stardust doesn't have many comfy clothes I'd think. Better get creative ♡ He notices missing clothes immediately. Barely anything escapes him- ♡ He goes to ask you about it first, only to find you wearing what he was looking for ♡ Awkward silence for a few moments. Both of you staring at the floor. ♡ "Did you miss me or something..?" ♡ He doesn't really get the appeal of stealing his clothes, but he'll indulge you anyways ♡ He may buy more comfy clothes just for you to steal. Nice! ♡ He doesn't mind all that much, he does feel a bit more at peace when you give the clothes back though..

♡ I like to think Ena steals his clothes too [if i can steal my dad's clothes then Ena can steal Akito's. okay??] ♡ So when something goes missing, he immediately goes to Ena ♡ It was his favorite hoodie, cut him some slack! ♡ But when he searches her closet and under her bed and. does not find the hoodie. he goes to the only other person who'd have access. You! ♡ Surprise he's at your door ♡ He finds you wearing his clothes really cute so he lets you keep them. For a while. ♡ You have to give them back eventually :( ♡ He does, however, leave his hoodies out more! Win! ♡ Now you're fighting Ena for Akito's clothes. Well at least they're comfy. If he finds out about that he'd laugh

♡ Immediately knows it'd be you because who else? ♡ Doesn't care if you steal them. He does however, much like Akito, also find you quite adorable in his clothes. ♡ Unlike Akito, he will actually say that he thinks you're cute. Autism be damned my boy can be upfront about his feels!! ♡ Will also leave out his clothes for you to steal ♡ Offers to wash them for you ♡ Kind of like Stardust he doesn't get why you like it, but he'll indulge if it makes you happy :) ♡ Bonus, he'll give you his closet if you ask. He doesn't mind, I like to think he hordes hoodies and shirts anyways-

♡ Doesn't notice his clothes are missing for a while, his mind's more on his shows and impressing you with them ♡ One day he just. Finds you in a sweater. And it makes so much more sense why he stopped seeing it. ♡ Will LOUDLY proclaim that his beloved co-star is looking ADORABLE. to your possible dismay idk. Saki's offering hugs ♡ Will be the type to take pictures of you two when you're wearing his clothes and post it online so everyone can see how cute you are !! He seems so excited it's hard to keep up with him- ♡ Actively encourages this habit, he loves it ♡ Makes lil jokes about stealing your clothes too. He wouldn't though; they're too small!

♡ He would know immediately ♡ Doesn't matter how well you hide it. He Knows ♡ He'll pretend like he doesn't know until he literally can't ♡ Then comes The Teasing ♡ If you're with Rui?? Romantically??? You have to be used to teasing im not sorry i KNOW everyone says it but he fucking WOULD ♡ When he finally catches you in his clothes he smiles ear-to-ear. Oh God ♡ He'll call you so many pet names, bring you flush against his chest, and then coo at you when you inevitably get really flustered and start blushing up a storm ♡ HIS ASS IS NOT PLAYING FAIR !!!!!!!!!!! ♡ He'll hand over his clothes for you to steal any time you want. With the price of him teasing you ♡ He's fine with it. Very fine with it.

[Requests open ! Rentry with info in pinned :3 also pls reblog if you like my shit likes just do not help]

[atopvisenyashill]

So I came upon your blog while looking through the asoiaf tag and explored it a bit. Would you please explain to me how are you against Targaryen incest, but find Jonsa fine? I’m genuinely curious, as I’ve just started reading the books (I’m half-way through a storm of swords) and find nothing fine about any form of incest, whether it is or not considered as such in-universe. I also find little to no Jonsa moments. Could you help me? Thank you!

okay so first of all i got sent an ask forever ago about what the appeal of jonsa is and i’ve been working on explaining basically where i see the plot going and why it’s thematically relevant and is2g i’m still actually putting it together it’s just doing that in a middle of a reread is tough bc my ideas are kinda all over the place lmao (just like this ask is about to be sorry!) (also once again, sorry if my tone comes across very weird, i swear i reread like twelve times to make sure i don’t sound too snarky and wasn't just vomitting up a thousand words of nonsense lmao!!).

BUT. Well there’s three points to this: what the characters may feel, what i feel about jonsa, and what i feel about targ incest. so first the characters:

I think it’s important to point out that first cousin marriage (and auncle/nibling marriage, esp if it’s a “half” relation) are not considered true incest in westeros and in many parts of our world. rickard and lyra, ned’s parents, are cousins. joanna and tywin lannister are first cousins. jonnel and sansa and edric and serena are uncle/nieces, and you’ll note that when alys karstark comes to jon for help, he is disgusted that her uncle is trying to steal her inheritance and not that he’s her uncle attempting to marry her. i point this out because not only is there nothing legally stopping a jonsa marriage, the characters themselves may also see it that way (as not incest). and if your next point is “well they grew up thinking they’re siblings” my answer is - yes and? One of the influences on this series is Mervyn Peake, who wrote gothic medieval stories, and both incest and pseudo-incest is very much a big part of gothic stories! A lot of the storylines in this world are dedicated to exploring incest as a force of socialization and romanticism, from Naerys pleading to live “as brother and sister” and Aegon insisting “we already are” to Alysanne’s “Alyssa is meant for Baelon” to Jaime’s “he heard none of it" in the sept. I don’t think it’s that far of a stretch to posit that two characters we have POVs for will fall in love and grapple with what that love says about them, about society, about their role in the world - and in fact, about half of Jon’s most popular ships are between him and a female relative. Sansa makes more sense to me because she’s closer to his age than Arya, has a more troubled relationship with him, is involved in the political aspects of the story just as much as he is, and isn’t likely to immediately start setting people on fire after they meet.

Now as for me, basically - i think both types of incest are the result of socialization + extreme trauma, and I fully expect that if Jonsa goes canon it will have a tragic ending. I think Jonsa takes some of the inherent misogyny of targ incest and plays around with it - Jon having significantly less societal privilege than basically every other Targaryen and what that means for Sansa as an heiress - but just because I think an exploration of that dynamic will be interesting, doesn’t mean I don’t expect it to be rife with problems.

because the problem with incest is the power dynamic ultimately, and you cannot escape that power dynamic bc people don’t exist in a vacuum. For all the Starks have some fucked up skeletons in their closet, Lyanna doesn’t show up in Ned’s bed naked and ask him to stop her betrothal to Robert, does she? This is the fundamental difference between targ incest and Jonsa or even Lannicest; Lannicest is rampant with toxicity from both of those deranged weirdos but they feel entitled to each other's bodies because of their own trauma surrounding their tumultuous childhoods (and probably some normalization of incest from their parents and proximity to Aerys/Rhaella/Rhaegar), but no one is saying "Jaime you are owed Cersei's body" or "Cersei your womb belongs to your brother and your brother alone." So I don't feel the need to sit here and go "Lannicest is toxic" like yeah? Clearly, lmao, these two feel like they are so damaged, and made so special by that damage, that they can only love one another, that's not what anyone would call healthy. I don't think it's necessary to sit here and explain that dynamic has abuse problems; it's right there in the text!

"well what about the power dynamic between jon and sansa?" YES WHAT ABOUT IT. that's the point! i'm interested in how a dynamic that is inherently abusive will play out between two people who were raised to believe some types of incest are okay but not others, who are victims of abuse and societal alienation themselves. because at the same time that i condemn targ incest, there are obviously real feelings and genuine care in these relationships and in these people, because again, people don't exist in a vacuum. daemon backs rhaenyra into this corner and then crucially does not kill any of her children because he realizes that's a step too far, she'd never forgive it, perhaps even because he grew to love them (i mean, Lucerys and Joffrey likely barely remember any other father but Daemon!). maegor is a monster who very specifically never harms rhaena's daughters! aemon is a useless pos but it seems likely he had a hand in raising naerys' son to be better than aegon because he could see the harm he and his brother were doing to naerys even if aemon was too much of a coward to actually stop that harm in any meaningful way! the difference, to me, is that jon will see that this relationship built on trauma and grief may be the only love he and sansa will ever allow themselves to feel but it is not healthy for them, and jon will leave! and sansa will realize she is not the impassive, frozen, detached symbol that the men around her want her to be, but a living, breathing person with her own wants and desires and agency, and will let him go!

Ultimately, while i think romanticizing and sexualizing the taboo is fine and even healthy, for me, there has to be some acknowledgement that you are in fact romanticizing the taboo. This is why the shitty dudes in asoiaf work for me in a way shitty dudes outside of asoiaf don’t usually - my general bitching about parts of the narrative that don’t click for me aside, there’s firm condemnation of the people engaging in these behaviors, from cersei sexually abusing lancel to sandor creeping on sansa. just because the narrative also shows us and wants us to feel empathy for sandor and cersei and why they’ve become bad people doesn’t mean what they’re doing isn’t bad. that’s what i like! i don’t want a story that holds my hand and drags me to the moral nor do i want a story that presents a god awful person who is supposed to be morally upright and not mean for us to dig deeper into them!

(this is why i like the pt but not the st of star wars, if you want an example - for all the prequels are um. flawed. lucas has an overreaching story about the effects of war, slavery, and interpersonal abuse that he’s dedicated to, and we are meant to be horrified by anakin choking padme just as surely as we’re meant to mourn their relationship and love for each other when palpatine gleefully tells anakin she’s dead and ani destroys the room in grief. vs like. what were the sequels even fucking doing man).

So the thing here is that I actually do in fact find Targaryen incest interesting while being morally repugnant as a practice, and I'm positive Jonsa will play around with both the morality of incest and the romanticism of it in a way that I find just as interesting, varied, romantic, and fulfilling as like, the Jaime/Cersei(/Brienne/Tyrion) mess or the Daemon/Rhaenyra/Laena/Harwin debacle! I like incest and I also hate it! I contain multitudes!

[m1lkt00th]

Im asking you to go feral and explain swap x outer [3

Do what you must ,,úчù,,

going to self indulgent here and explain why i think a specific song i placed into their playlist makes me think of them. it’s pretty long (like ten minutes) but the mental imagery always captivates me

it’s the thought of swap being alone. someone different in the face of the multiverse. bc he’s the ‘old one out’ in a (very literal) sense. there are so many variations of ‘swap’ out there. even a bastardized version that was caused by a popular series of misconceptions.

the repetition of “hey space cadet” followed by some form of declaration of loneliness. im going to be breaking down the entire song here! or at least the lyrics that are significant to me lol

It is 2014 and I have no idea what is going on in my life

Heavily vibes based. leaning into swap’s (or outer’s) confusion regarding the multiverse. kind of plays into how old their aus are respectively

Hello hello hello hello -> I got a little drunk before I came here

outer or swap being introduced to the multiverse in some way. being hopeful or wary. their perception of the multiverse being VERY narrow. the echoing "hello"s could signify the other outcodes greeting them or other past residents of aus. also plays into sans' "knowing more than he lets on" trait where they probably had some idea of alternate universes existing before being directly introduced to them

frozen margaritas in Austin -> the birthplace and deathplace of Elvis

really just vibes. imagining them talking to out-codes (namely dream or error) and becoming more warmed up to the multiverse. visiting the omega timeline too

(and I’m so far away from home) -> (route seven)

the slow pace of it up to here makes me think of swap or outer or both missing their homes. possibly missing their narrow view of the universe. missing when the world (still endlessly big) was a little smaller

Hey, space cadet. you can’t hang out with your friends, even when you are with them

to me is about swap joining/formulating the star sanses with their first multiverse friends. but the connection they NEED isn’t there. the connections theyre craving arent there. dream themself is still getting used to forming those deep connections or refuses to due to the influence of their aura and the potential codependency that may develop due to it. and ink is not looking to view these guys as more than "characters" (for his mental safety tbh)

Hey, space cadet. you’re gonna need a lot of love but not the kind you’re thinking of

swap wants that connection though, he wants friends that he can go to and hang out with. he's desperate for that validation and acceptance, as someone that's so different. he wasn't taken seriously (enough to become part of the guard) in his universe so why did he expect differently here

and the times when i feel fine -> had to come and write this song

swap possibly sorting through their feelings. he begins seeking out other friends, or places he can relax outside of his home universe. at this point he knows of error and their interests. or outertale was mentioned at some point. either way, he seeks comfort in that universe

hey, space cadet. didn’t think it’d be this far but that’s the price for being a star

this is swap directly communicating his feelings to outer after forming that bond. outer themself rarely left their home universe, opting to welcome monsters that visit the place. outertale is like a tourist stop in that way or at least a place frequently visited by others. it took some time for outer to move past cagey and distrustful to being more open (which isnt by much)

i met you through the television screen. i fell in love with the guy smiling at the audience. and now this love is praecox feeling. and now this love is aspect dawning

swap thinking about ink. possibly learning about ink’s ‘mentality’ and how he only sees them all as ‘characters��. swap’s idolization of dream too! believing that they had the full picture for everything.

swap saw these two as gods almost. beings higher than him. their treatment of their relationship (not deepening their bond past 'coworkers') didnt help to dissuade swap's initial idolization, causing it to snowball into something more severe and possibly toxic.

i can also see this as swap developing a crush on dream but thats pretty 'straight-from-the-lyrics' to me. and i personally view them as best friends

hello hello hello hello -> we should fit like a glove and a hand

swap witnessing the star sanses fall apart possibly! being so upset bc their best friends’ conflicting moralities drove them apart thus, dissolving the group

after this, swap has nowhere to go. he doesnt have a 'job' anymore and his interest in becoming part of the guard in his home universe is so small in comparison to what he was before. he retreats to outertale or the omega timeline to think

Hey, space cadet. The things you see inside your head. You'd better make other plans instead

It's alright to want to dream. It doesn't mean reality is mean, oh

outer or papyrus or dream or swap himself telling swap to let go of his past expectations but to experience the multiverse for what it is

Hey, space cadet. it’s time to show them what you can. what can you do, man, what can you do?

they could be talking to either. outer’s space based powers and magic. swap’s general potential and how theyre underestimated GREATLY

Love isn't love enough -> Love isn't love even at all -> At all, at all, at all

No real explanation abt why this fits besides vibes again. swap struggling with abandoning this mentality and outer bearing witness to it (also dropping my headcanons: swap is ace and outer is aro)

(Space cadet, you are now crashing in space. You've waited for this, now, you're off)

(Kind of a side tangent) But blueberror to me. Swap being Error-d leads to swap letting go of his expectations and past attachments. either protecting aus or destroying them with this new turning point

Hey, space cadet…

this final ‘echo’ at the end just SINGS starryknights to me. the longing, the grief, the agony and the comfort they can seek in each other. the audio for it says so much more

this felt like a mostly swap to outer dump though. outer mostly stayed within their universe and didnt develop that many multiverse affecting friends (like dream or ink or error) outer mainly hangs out with sans, fell, swap, horror, dance and epic at the very least.

error is around too but they dont exactly talk too much. silent acknowledgment and mutual "youre alright" relationship. i can definitely see outer drawing someone like nightmare to them bc of the quiet atmosphere and lack of an ulterior motive

also outer being friends with another character that mostly sticks to their home universe: ccino :3

[kim-ruzek]

did you see new episode was leaked? i watched it. only 2 burzek scenes ☹️ at home and in locker room. at home she was leaving to go and he and mack said good luck to her. in the locker room he asked if shes okay what happened. she tells him shes fine and touches him arm to calm him down. thats all.

Hi, I'm so glad it's finally Thursday so I can ask you sincerely; WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Why the hell would you send me this?

I'm sorry to everyone else, I know I said I'd make posts about the actual episode and I will, I have SO MANY thoughts, but on top of life circumstances which has me occupied I first need to spend my energy answering this because this has PISSED me the fuck of for a week.

What in the world would EVER possess you to send something like this to me? To anyone? You NEVER send unwanted spoilers and usually that would be enough to upset me but TO DO IT ABOUT THIS EPISODE????

An episode I've been personally waiting WEEKS for? And that's just about this specific episode. I've been waiting MONTHS for a Kim centric one AND FUCKING YEARS FOR ONE ABOUT KIM BEING A DETECTIVE. that's YEARS fucking years of anticipation and strife and you ruined what should be the most exciting week of my life.

And look some people may think I'm being fucking dramatic but listen here. I'm a FAST reader. My eyes skip forward. And finally, my brain OBSESSES. it clings and repeats it over and over again so once I've read it THAT'S IT. I'm fucked. And I can TRY to forget it but that involves having to stop myself thinking about the trigger AKA CPD entirely which meant on the week I was meant to be ALL ABOUT FUCKING CPD AND KIM I had to try to shut my brain off.

How fucking dare you? Do you even think about anyone but yourself you drama loving fucking arsehole? You've been bothering our fandom for YEARS now and I've been patiently deleting every ask you put in my inbox trying not to get annoyed bc I have enough shit going on in my life rn and I've been doing really fucking well.

But this bloody broke me. It doesn't matter it was a relatively light spoiler. It literally broke me. I've been avoiding all possible spoilers because I've wanted to go in blind and excited to the bloody max in anticipation. And that's been hard for me. But it was going to be worth it. And then you fucking ruined it for me.

So thank you very much you fucking psychotic prick. Seriously, get some fucking mental health help, you seriously fucking need it. Or at the very least, detox from online life and touch some fucking grass.

Especially as the burzek scenes were fucking delicious and actually the right amount of it so fuck off with that. But what REALLY gets me is guess what? I didn't even really care too much about having any, or rather just a miniscule amount, of burzek BECAUSE THIS WAS KIM'S TIME TO SHINE. all I cared about was my girl being badass and succeeding AND THAT'S WHAT WE GOT.

Although in one sense maybe I should thank you for only spoiling the one thing I didn't really care too much about and being so negative about it that you actually understated it anyway.

But yeah. Never fucking do that again. And get some fucking help.

[psychologeek]

is your cass 3 years old? genuine question bc she has never sounded like that, she struggles with complex words and long sentences but she doesn't baby talk or get words wrong like that

I assume you mean in this post

First of all - thanks for asking! Feel free to ask any other questions here or a comment on fic.

Second - No, my Cass isn't 3 yo.

I'm talking about Cass from my fanfic (the first chapter has an extended version for clarification, as I understand pre-verbal communication is heard to understand).

Psychology, Language, and development

Cass was raised as a weapon, and wasn't allowed to speak as a child¹ - wich had a massive impact on the way her thinking and communication has developed².

She was also isolated, and only learned the concept of language at the age of ~8/9³ (with Jason). First by using signs⁴ (ASL, spesificly), and later starting speech - though she STILL struggles with pronunciations⁵.

According to canon, when she was about (17? 18?), a fight with a magical/alien made her "understand language".

But I take canon and think about the implications. I especially consider it as Cass is a very visual/kinetic thinker. She think in pictures and movements.

What adding words for this would do? And what "understanding language" even means?

My personal answer to that, was "sort of an auto-reader you can't turn off", and a LOT of overstimulation. Because it's too much.

This doesn't change much. It DOES mean Cass need to take time off, to understand what happened. It's also not a good thing.

(This isn't a magical fix-it, and I made sure to make it very clear it has serious issues, most importantly Cass didn't want/needed a "cure", as they aren't broken. There's nothing to fix.)

Cass still prefer using non-verbal communication, like AAC app, emojis, Jestas, ASL, body language, etc.

And the family is. Mostly okay with it.

Also, Cass is autistic. Like me. And some of this experience is based on my personal experience. For example, sometimes I struggle with speaking. I have sensory issues. My thinking is very visual. When I'm overwhelmed, I need small and simple sentences.

I hope that it helps 🤠

~

1. Can be seen in chapter 1 ("A weapon"). This part was inspired/research by comparing to articles and development of children who grew up in extreme abuse and neglect (for example, "Jenny").

2. For example, self-identifing as a weapon (not a person). Understanding few words (come, stay) but not being able to speak, or understand speech. Think about the way dogs may understand some commands/words, but not a fairytale. Let me be clear - this refers to any kind of organised language, including verbal, signed, other kind of visual, tactile, etc. The issue here isn't the "not learn to speak". Many CoDA grow up perfectly fine and healthy and well. The issue here is the lack of any way to make sense of her caos.

3. Not growing up with language means that her experience and personal narrative are. Not sorted that way. A series of incoherent photos and scents. This was partly inspired by (I study psychology, I focus on trauma, there's. A lot.) and Helen Keller's story. Even before Anne, she had home signs and was able to partly communicate with some people. But she was hearing until 19 months, and therefore had 19 months of language (including several spoken words).

4. This part in the fic was inspired, again, by Helen Keller. Especially her description of what it was like to understand there's such thing as language:

I stood still, my whole attention fixed upon the motions of her fingers. Suddenly I felt a misty consciousness as of something forgotten—a thrill of returning thought; and somehow the mystery of language was revealed to me. I knew then that w-a-t-e-r meant the wonderful cool something that was flowing over my hand. The living word awakened my soul, gave it light, hope, set it free!

(from Keller's autobiography "The Story of My Life")

(Also Jason's "food is love language". Something about sharing when you have little. Something about kindness and trust.)

5. Speech is hard. Like, there's a REASON so many ppl need speech therapy. Speech patterns ("native language", grammar) are all getting set by the age of 7. Do you speak another language? How old were you when you learned it? How close it is to your first language? How well do you speak it?

[reiketsui]

For canon muses: what's the worst take, headcanon or even canon moment you saw regarding your muse? ( yea based on your post about the rancid tag )

i'm sorry gio for this hornet nest you have poked ily I'M GONNA SOUND EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE IN THIS BUT DW I'M FINE I'M OKAY I'M JUST PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS CHARACTER IN A WAY THAT ALTERS MY MENTAL STATE

it's the WHOLE fucking umbrella of giovanni simping. and really the SIMPING, and reducing his entire personality to that and only that. maybe it's just difficult to get right or something? it is a delicate balance. like whatever if someone makes a joke about it it's funny and i love the jokes i get here about it in moderation because i know my friends and mutuals UNDERSTAND it's not all there is. and ic reactions are a different thing entirely bc the dynamic/their reputation to outsiders may present the bond between them like that.

i see it more as archer's personal lack of self-worth and his need to be flawless and perfect and his flawed sense of self-destructive loyalty, and who else he could project that onto than his boss who literally saved his life and elevated him from a dirt poor street rat into one of the most brutal, skilled and sought after criminals in the kanto-johto area. archer doesn't follow his order blindly, he may even challenge his order if he thinks there's a better/more efficient way, because there's a deep sense of trust and understanding between them.

i'm just gonna go ahead and blame pokéspe for this simp culture because what the fuck look how they massacred my boy in it. overall pokéspe used the execs to finish the d/p storyline which i'm endlessly mad and bitter about but won't get into bc it's not part of this but y'know.

and like yeah. i know. this is a pretty insignificant character in a large scale so many people just don't take it as dead serious as i do in my deranged mind space. for most people it's just funnies. i understand. good for them. but i'm still gonna be salty about it.

fanons have a funny way of reducing a character's entire personality to one line of dialogue or one personality trait and giving them nothing else. in comparison to proton (who i fucking adore and you know it it ain't about that and proton's popular fanon takes have a TON of issues too that i could yell about for hours, but this is just for an example) archer often gets the 'prissy stick in the mud uwu pathetic simp wet dog boy' treatment while proton gets the 'cool sexy badass murder man' one. there's a funny divide between the english and japanese fanons in this because japanese fanons often get it better. if i sound like a gatekeeper with this character it's because i am (i'm joking i do like different takes on him but not the 'simp and NOTHING else' stuff it makes me explode).

[1eos]

Hello! If it's okay, can I ask you for some advice? I was recently fired from my job after missing too many days...my Crohn's was flaring up and accommodation wasn't enough. There also was a change in management and I could tell they wanted to be rid of me. I was there for 7 years and I don't know what to say on future applications when asked about my employment history, like am I allowed to lie? Or how do I spin it in a different direction, it was my first job and I guess I'm just scared for the future if that makes sense. I understand if you don't answer this, but thank you for reading and sorry for the long ask. I'm a longtime follower and your blog, or rather you, are so lovely; I hope that only good things come your way. 💞💞

😞im so sorry to hear you got fired anon. i actually read this to my mom who's a manager who does hiring at her job and got her opinion as well. she said when asked just say that you left due to complications change in management bc essentially everything was fine until management came and its best to paint it in the most neutral light bc u wanna use those 7 years of work experience but just in case new jobs call the old job you don't want to have a totally different story.

and what *i* would recommend is to 100000% use that job on your resume bc you stayed a good long time and employers love to see that. if you can for references from that job if possible use the names of managers that you worked with BEFORE the ones that fired you. bc theyll obviously have better things to say!!!!! and idk if this will help you any but askamanager blog has really helped me figure out how to play the employment game a lot better and she has some articles on navigating making the best out of being fired when you're moving forward so maybe this will help?

no matter what you end up doing ill be hoping praying manifesting that you'll find an even better position that caters to your needssssssssssss 😣💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖and thank you SO much for the well wishes may we BOTH have nothing but good things in the futureeeeeeeeeeeeee mwah mwah mwah

[pjsk-headcanons]

leans against a wall hey babes i am. clinically insane adn in need of medication. tis dice anon, 🎲 anon, outspoken hitherthee, howe'er you may refer to the most grandious of affairs~ i come baring headcannons for a very specific akinene drabbles turned bisexual polyamourus situationship mafia au that im writing and have put too much fucking thought into. if you have questions please yell at me i have so many thoughts and also if you dont know the general plot these wont make sense but wtv its not hard to find my main

ioris really gay for mio but its unrequited. aro queen. howe'er she was forced to join the mafia soo??

wwhen shiho shoots mizuki it skims their femoral artery so it looks far worse than it actually is and ena freaks out. she did make the "hand in ur gfs thighs" joke i mentioned though

even while bleeding out with another girl in their thighs* mizuki will simp over their gf duel weilding and trying to kill them (*for medical porpoises)

that haruka, an and kotaro gang-adjacent i mentioned is kinda canon,,, nagi died from cancer a la canon but taiga and ken were wrapped up in bullshi to try and pay for treatment

arata continues to insist his aim is FINE thank you very much

nenes mum divorced her dad when he went into proper PROPER debt the first time

nene has made multiple jokes about how a gambling addiction runs in the family. akito frequently makes jokes about how an alcholol addiction runs in the family. toya attempts to say that bisexual situationships run in the family and gets deathglared by his brothers

minori didnt die too bad no matter how much shiho will claim is was horrific and gorey

wowzers a lot of these arent even for our main characters. hm.

rui still secretly blames himself for getting nene into this mess though its entirely not his fault in the slightest. akito will blame himself for anything and everything and is convinced that every number on toyas kill count is his fault. toya and nene are just chilling

when they run away to the countryside an and akito swap jackets (the pre-anni ones) and both get really emotional over it

they all feel guilty about leaving everyone else to deal w/ their mess when they leave but like the fuck you gonn do. harumichi said kanto time its fucking kanto time

vbs miku knew about the mafia shit from the very begining and is sweating bullets the moment toya accidentally brings a gun into the sekai

wxs meiko also knows but like only through that one time nene started sobbing in the middle of practice. and n25 rin bc why wouldnt she

honami is very carefully ignoring how everyone she knows is in the mafia (nb saki jumped at the oppertunity and hit her head and passed out (tsukasa banned her from joining the mafia) (yes she tried to join the tonos w ichika and shiho) (yes i couldve put tenma!toya angst and i chose not to i have enough to work with with just aoyagi!toya)) and is happily living her gay little domestic life with kanade and mafuyu

toya somehow recovers from major bullet wounds in three days flat. maybe aratas aim is that bad. (he wasnt even trying to hit toya T-T)

if you know my main no you dont teehee. im not here/silly (i dont actually mind if yall know me)

.