#this man unlocked something in me

[ineedanormalname]

Cat King behind the scenes😔

[tainted-esau]

Woa

[karasimpno]

if I write a captain smoker smutty piece will anyone care

[lapdogchase]

did i tell u guys that they them has a necklace thats the chain from a punching bag that they broke. Like they punched it too hard and the chain came off. and they wear it as a necklace. I need them so bad it’s unreal. good night

[lowcallyfruity]

My party was so fun

[carriedreamerx]

Finding out the DIC version of Sailor Moon is now unable to be legally watched *anywhere* and very well could become lost media is devastating to me.

Do you have ANY idea how much of my writing career was influenced by this cheesy 90s Soundtrack alone?!

Seriously... this song still tugs at the heart strings.

[goodluckclove]

How are you doing this week, oh truthteller?

what is wrong with the world / what will fix the world? (ignore if too heavy)

what is your "this would fix me"?

what is the secret to good sleep?

-double batch because i still have a migraine and should be going to bed (you might have noticed from the questions)

Ah, more questions! I'm happy to answer all of these with objective truth, as they are all major issues I can definitively solve.

I don't know why you thought your first question - about the greatest issue in the world and its potential solution - would be "too heavy". This particular conundrum doesn't even have any real nuance to it. The greatest problem for both the human species and the balance of the earth as a whole is, without a doubt, the discontinuation of TaB cola in 2020.

TaB was a diet cola released by the Coca Cola company in 1963. It was known for being a terrible tasting, fad "healthy" soda that people briefly thought maybe caused cancer. It was my favorite soda in high school even though it tasted like how I imagine battery acid might taste like. Coca Cola discontinued it at the start of COVID-19 because it was a cult darling outshined by the normie AI slop juice. They claimed it was rendered obsolete by the creation of Diet Coke, which is immediately untrue being that Diet Coke is something you can drink and recognize as a beverage meant for consumption.

The answer to most of the questions you ask stem from the loss of TaB cola, potentially the only aspect of Diet Culture that I stand by as something real fucking tasty. Worst problem? Can't find TaB Cola. What would fix me? A single, frosty sip of that good, good trash. What's the secret to a good night's sleep? A quiet, introspective viewing of some old TaB commercials, which are from an era where Ad Men were far more willing to go buck wild and create glimpses of a strange, pretty openly horny utopian society. A world without injustice or darkness in the human psyche, where people still feel arousal at the sight of 80s-era conventionally attractive features - but only if that person is also holding a can of a really just terrible soft drink that I would love to drink again.

God, TaB cola. I don't give a shit that it has one calorie. It was like shitty kombucha I miss it so much.

[avid-adoxography]

I need to remember a very specific, haunting scent to describe how my wife smells like and I knoooow it's buried somewhere deep inside my brain, in a place of forsaken memories which I don't (want to) have access to.

Unless I walk into a church. But, well,, uhhhh.... *comically loud gulp*

[eviligo-archive]

terrified to ask but doing it anyways. c-clown matt?

anywhere, any place, any position, wet, dry, at the office, behind a 7/11, in the clown car, top, bottom, amazon, in public, in a broom closet, over the back of a couch, on camera, in the shower, in a church, at the bank, at a party, at his dad’s house,

[4acoffee]

maturing is realizing that midoriya is actually fine af???

[thesean]

see i think aym.eric would look even better if he was a bit roughed up and had some stubble you know? look like a man who just did some hard work

[creekbed-burial]

“Maybe beg for it if you want it so bad” oh i fucking popped OFF with that oh my god

[im-still-watching-anime]

i love watching anime on hardmode (doing other stuff while also having to read the subtitles)

[moinsbienquekaworu]

How have I been in fandom for - going on 8 years (?) and not gotten into fanvids before?? All the association I could have been making.... All the memories.... All the composition and clever editing....

[felucians]

white men need to start paying $5 to my cashapp every time they use the word "exotic" to describe something about me.

[queenerdloser]

my dad: yeah i'll be there at 3:30p

me, like a normal person: gets ready & is all set to go by 3:30p literally on the dot.

my dad at 3:45p: sike i'll actually be there at 4:30p

me: great :) love this :)