#this man has high school traumas beyond comprehension

[tuiyla]

Yes Queen B Quinn you and Santana really had the dream high school careers

you know, apart from the teen pregnancy and outing on state tv and subsequent harassment and disowning by family members and car accident and all that

but you were ~mega-popular~ (except when you weren’t) so all good

[redteabaron]

Different anon… Here is the thing though, Drogo/Dany isn’t a parallel to sansan. People who make that comparison either lack severe reading comprehension, which is not surprising for this fandom, or they want to use it to validate sansan. (Tyrion was the older guy Sansa was forced to marry. Dany and Sansa have opposite journeys and their marriages are a part of that.) But sansan’s mirror is Jorah/Dany. Book!Jorah is an older guy who has a creepy obsession with a teenage girl. He dumps his trauma on her, he projects onto her. But he is also her advisor, her confidante early on, his protector. There are also the same BaTB elements sansans love to talk about. She even refers to him as her bear. But he was lusting after her ever since they met and then he assaulted her. He forced himself on her. She is uncomfortable with his actions, but she doesn’t possess the necessary language and she doesn’t understand consent (we know this because of how she frames her relationship with Drogo but also how she expected Lhazareen women to be ok, even be thankful for being married to their rapists, and her dubcon relationship with Irri) so she recontextualize what happened and chastise Jorah for kissing her not because she is a teenager and he shouldn't and she didn’t consent to but because she is his Queen. That's the language she has, so she expresses her discontent, disapproval, rejection with that. Sandor was verbally, psychologically, physically abusive to Sansa but he also occasionally protected her in King’s Landing. He lusted after her, made sexually inappropriate comments to an 11 year old child but he was also the only one in KL to have honest conversations with her. Then he assaulted her, held her at knife point. She was afraid of him kissing her, killing her, she had nightmare about the assault which she clearly registered as a sexual one despite what his fans claim his intentions were. Sansa has a habit of romanticizing/redefining these things. Sansa thinks Arys Oakheart was preferable, that he was kind because he beat her less hard than the other Kingsguard. She remembers Tyrion as someone who were kind to her, someone better than Joffrey even though he molested her and she had him in her nightmares too. She separates Littlefinger and Petyr in her mind because just like with the other men before him the thought of her sometimes-protector at the same time being her abuser is too much for her. Just like Dany she recontextualizes what the Hound did to her and turns the assault into a song to cope with it.

These two pairings has the same dynamic, the difference is fandom’s response to it. (The slight differences are that Dany had actual amiable feelings for Jorah -not romantic love or sexual feelings but friendly, sisterly love for him- and she as a Queen had a lot more agency than Sansa as a prisoner had. She isn't as powerless as Sansa, she could have easily banished him, punished him, even ordered his death.) But no one in fandom writes essay after essay why and how could and should Jorah and Dany end up together. It’s an outrageous suggestion. Dany is a main character, she is the heroine. She is a Queen. Why should she ever end up with someone as lowly as Jorah? Someone as old, as ugly as Jorah? But Sansa, meh she is not an important character. And she needs to be punished, first because she was a child making childish mistakes. Secondly, she is shallow, she refused to be raped by her older, ugly husband. So she needs to end up with an older ugly guy to humble her. Even when the author expressed his distaste of the trope of a noble girl running away with a lowly guy in medieval stories, nah that doesn’t matter here. Sansa being of high nobility, a princess won’t have any factor at all who she’s gonna end up with. They had to keep assuring themselves that she is not a main character so she could even end up with a villainous character, that she is not a Stark so she could end up with people who hurt/fight against her family. The hypocrisy of this fandom, and their selective reading is most clear when it comes to these two “couples”. Almost all sansans (whether it is the actual shippers or those who think it’ll happen because well it’s Sansa what else she’s gonna do besides being a reward bride for some hideous guy) hate Jorah/Dany (as they should) while trying to justify how and why Sansa should end up with the hound. Let's forget the abuse and pedophile, let's assume those never happened, even then it makes no sense. There is not a narratively satisfying way, a logical reason how Sansa could be with Sandor. But they ignore all that because it doesn't fit in with their vision, with their interpretation of the books and characters. Because admitting Sansa is a main character and more than a reward for their pedo fave has a ripple affect, it challenges all their theories, they all crumble. And they just can't let go of their 2 decades old theories, they just have to be right, they must be right. That's why they all took the show's ending as a personal offense, especially the QiTN Sansa. I just can't wait for the books!

Yeah, agreed. jorah and sandor are mirrors of each other. I mean I hope they both die without any glory or honor, personally. I don't really care if they have sacrificial deaths for the greater good - or whatever framing the show had intended - jorah and sandor were also whitewashed and made more pitiable/likeable.

Whenever dany x dr*go is used to validate literally ANY pairing, I am suspish. In particular when we acknowledge that dany absolutely couldn't consent - she was 13 iirc - and was sold off by her abusive brother to a man twice her age, but Sansa reimagining her trauma about Sandor's assault to something less traumatic is considered being hateful to Sandor because he's unattractive. (And I never really listen whenever ppl give me shit or deny it was assault; pertaining to my job, I'm pretty fucking aware what assault or intention-to-assault looks like, and I think most ppl do to, they just seem to lose awareness when it comes to their ships or certain characters).

I think it has to do with Sansa being the archetypal "Pretty Popular Girl" - the one who like feminine things, sort of fussy, likes feminine colors and just in general is feminine. She seems to remind people of the classic mean popular girl we saw popularized in 1990s-2000s high school movies - the one who gets her comeuppance in the end when the non-feminine girl somehow triumphs in whatever way, or she's the one who learns her lesson and stops being quite so feminine, or hooks up with a most-popular guy. The Mean/Pretty Popular girl has to be humbled in some fashion. Fans who don't like her, tend to view this as a way for her to pay for the error of her ways.

Like being a prisoner of war. Or not wanting to fuck tyrion. Or not wanting to run away with sandor.

I mean...all of asoiaf, beyond the politics and magic, is all about trauma and the human response to it - which is varied and depends on circumstances, personalities, and a lot of other things. One of the more vile things GOT did was whitewash jorah and tyrion the way they did imo. Jorah was a predator, circling Dany, regardless of whether she thought of him fondly, he just happened to not be violent towards her - she cries when he forces a kiss on her. Tyrion was a predator who molested her when he acknowledged she was a child "but he wanted her anyway". I've seen a lot of ppl react more sympathetically towards Dany. I haven't seen much recrimination against dany for refusing him the way we see sansa being hated for not wanting tyrion or sandor, hell, even petyr.

But - Sansa, imo, in the larger or at least circles of the fandom that have been around longer, is a more ideal whipping girl for the outlet a lot of ppl crave. See again the popular girl trope. She can't fight, she has no magical creatures, she is not a Chosen One of any kind. She has her wits and her ability to observe and adapt who has no choice but to navigate survival surrounded by people who have more agency and power than she does. That's it. I guess in a world of amazing abilities and magic and warfare, this is very boring, particularly when she doesn't weaponize her femininity or sexuality, where she's beautiful without being dangerous or magical or erotic. And I guess ppl feel that because of that, she needs to be punished for not being as extraordinary as she should be, OR, because she was the "Mean Popular Girl" (she wasn't) she must be humbled, and the ones to do it are the ones she refuses.

It's really delicious knowing they don't get "to have her" 🤢. Hopefully they just both fuck off to the ends of the world or die, idc they deserve zero thought.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Alright on Paper Pairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle) Rating: T (for now) Word count: 1699 Chapter: 1/?

Spideychelle Week Day 4: Fake Dating

Summary: Reading the newspaper has taught MJ a lot about the Avengers' relationships. Doesn't mean she wants to be in one.

Or, MJ fake-dates Spider-Man, but won't commit because she has a crush on Peter Parker.

MJ reads the paper.

Oh, what, she’s supposed to be above reading the paper because print is dead and the internet offers both more news (stories and outlets) and faster access to it? Tough. She still reads it because her dad still gets it. He’s had a subscription since he graduated college and thought reading the Times―tucking it under his arm and flipping through the pages while he rode the subway―was a more accurate measure of adulthood than owning a car. (They still don’t have a car, by the way. MJ is never going to learn to drive. Ugh.)

The appeal that drew her to it, at the age of four, was the occasional editorial cartoon, utterly beyond her comprehension. These days, she’s a little more interested in the articles on domestic politics, but hey, people are allowed to evolve.

So if you’re her, you’re MJ, you’re living in New York and you’re paying attention, you’re going to notice the Avengers. Notice shit like violent attacks and streets covered in rubble―although, that’s basically the city at rush hour during construction season. She’s noticing other things though, Avengers voicing opinions, reviving a feeling of civic interest, pride, and responsibility. She’s noticing the tide turning; citizens less interested in blaming superheroes for unscheduled demolition in Manhattan and more interested in who does Hawkeye’s tattooing or which karaoke bar Thor can most likely be found at on a Friday night.

And the Avengers’ relationships. New Yorkers are feeding on (super-)human interest stories with their faces so close to the pages they just about rub all the ink off with their noses.

It’s a terrible thing to know this, to be as observant as MJ is, tracking these changing attitudes and becoming an accidental expert on the path to good PR for the biologically, magically, genetically, or otherwise enhanced. Reading the paper is what gets her in trouble―sooner, rather than later―when Spider-Man starts hanging around.

Technically, he’s always hanging (that web shit is strong stuff, by the looks of it), and he’s always around. MJ figured out ages ago that Queens is his home base. Still, their borough’s just big enough and just crowded enough that she’d never encountered him in person until a few months ago. Now she sees him all. The. Time. He says coincidence, she says to-mah-to, and it really is him saying that because they’re officially on speaking terms. It’s an improvement to their interactions, mutually decided upon after Spider-Man scared the bejesus out of her when she was standing on her apartment’s balcony one day, glanced over the edge, and saw him crawling up the wall.

The deal became that if he was going to drop by, he better be obvious about it. This led to a routine MJ is loath to describe with the word ‘charming,’ but which may or may not involve her going out to the balcony or chilling by the open window of her bedroom on Saturday mornings, after her parents have left to run errands, and offering Spider-Man a glass of orange juice while they chat and she shares her paper with him. He likes the arts section. She likes watching him read it, sticking to the wall outside her window, the posters for whatever’s in theatres appearing upside down.

He joked one time about them catching a Saturday matinee together. She’s pretty sure he was joking.

The deal evolves as the weeks go by. MJ’s apartment is less of a rest stop between crime-fighting gigs and more of a superhero counselling centre with only one client. Not that Spider-Man is looking to her, a high school student, to mend whatever trauma led to him donning a formfitting red costume and babysitting an entire city, but she’s sure giving him a lot of advice lately.

It’s just… life stuff, really, and MJ doesn’t know where he sees authority when he looks at her, yawning in her jammies as she passes his juice through the open window, but he seems to listen. Maybe her dad was right about the paper; it’s possible that reading it makes her appear wise.

But it makes her act like a damn idiot in a crisis.

She’s heading to a guidance appointment one Wednesday (it’s junior year and MJ is getting some assistance with scouting out colleges) and the halls are empty; she was given permission to leave class five minutes early. When she turns the corner towards the guidance room, there’s Spider-Man. Just standing there. Middle of the hallway. MJ drops a textbook and it strikes the ground with a deafening slap.

This is her comfortable weekend companion, the hero of Queens. She adjusted to understanding that Spider-Man can be both, but there doesn’t seem to be any room in her mind for him to also exist midmorning at Midtown Tech.

He’s staring back at her (she can tell―the aperture of the white eyes on his mask has expanded in shock), arms held away from his body sort of comically, and MJ’s trying to recall if she’s ever seen him upright before when the jarring old-school bell rings and students flood from the door of every classroom.

Spider-Man bounds towards her, grabs her book from the floor, pushes it to her chest until she grips it, and says, “I know what to do.”

Everyone’s starting to make sounds of surprise, recognizing the Avenger in their midst, but even though MJ knows Spider-Man is kind of a hero of the people, he’s not acknowledging them at all. In fact, he’s wrapping his arms around her, and her eyes―boy oh boy―are wide. There’s just one thing on her mind besides what his suit feels like against the backs of her hands…

She’s praying that Peter isn’t seeing this.

“I’ll swing by your apartment later,” Spider-Man promises, speaking quietly near her ear.

He puts another little squeeze into the hug before stepping back. Reeling, MJ watches him give their audience a polite wave as he walks backwards in the direction of the nearest exit.

“Sorry, guys,” he tells the gathered crowd. “Uh, duty calls. I just wanted to stop by and see my girlfriend.”

Heads are swivelling to stare at MJ even before she drops the book for the second time.

\\\

“How?” she demands of him that evening, pacing tightly on the balcony while her parents laugh along to a sitcom in the living room. “How could that be you ‘knowing what to do’?!”

“I was doing what you said,” Spider-Man says defensively. He’s pacing too, along the balcony’s two-inch-wide railing. (She’s too mad to be worried.)

“Excuse me? We’re putting this on me? When was I an active part of that plan, while I was holding that stupid textbook or while my arms were pinned because you were hugging me? I’d really like to know.”

“W-well, it’s what you said about public perception of the Avengers.”

“Specifics!”

“Like Iron Man,” he argues, lowering his voice after how she snapped. “People like hearing about him and Pepper Potts.”

“And have you always modeled yourself after Tony Stark, or is this sudden, public relationship announcement your first foray?”

They stare at each other for a minute, Spider-Man balancing and MJ looking up at him―which is kind of weird after they hugged today and she realized he’s shorter than she is. She sighs, regretting her harsh words.

“I’m sorry,” she offers. “I know what you did was thoughtless―”

“Well―”

“―ill-advised―”

“Literally your advice.”

“―and, frankly, moronic―”

“Hey.”

“―but I get it, you panicked―”

“I had it under control.”

“―so I forgive you.”

“Oh. Well, thanks.”

“Now, come down here so I don’t have to keep resisting the urge to shove you off that railing.”

Once Spider-Man flips down (she’s already forgiven him―what, does he think he’s getting bonus points for landing the dismount?), MJ crosses her arms and gives that red mask of his a stern look.

“Still not thrilled, huh?”

“Good guess,” she says dryly.

“I might be missing something here, but… why? I mean, I didn’t think I did anything to embarrass you. Did I hurt you somehow?”

MJ shrugs and stares at her slippers.

“People saw.”

There’s a pause.

“…We already knew that.” His tone is almost clueless enough to make her apprehensive that this is the guy she and the rest of Queens have protecting them.

“I don’t know if… if a certain person saw.”

She’s blushing hard to admit even this much of a crush and she’d be mortified if she wasn’t making her confession to this socially illiterate superhero.

“Boyfriend?” Spider-Man asks. MJ glances up to see him leaning extremely un-casually against the wall, arms folded a little less tensely than hers.

“You sound skeptical,” she accuses.

“You’ve never mentioned him.”

MJ glares for a few seconds before backing down.

“No, he’s not my boyfriend. And you didn’t know that either because we only ever talk about you.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Spider-Man immediately offers, like he’s trying to even things up.

Groaning, she lets her shoulders slump.

“You do now.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s pretty unlikely that nobody took a picture.”

“Safe to assume the students of a school called Midtown Tech are tech-savvy enough to work a cellphone camera. By the way,” MJ adds, narrowing her eyes at him, “why were you there?”

“Oh, um, gas leak in one of the Chemistry labs. They dispatch the fire department for that kind of thing and I hate for emergency services to get tied up if I can fix it myself.”

“Huh. I had no idea gas leaks were in your repertoire. Thought muggers and bicycle thieves were more your beat.”

She’s teasing him pretty lightly considering he definitely just lied to her. It’s fine, she’ll wait to crack him until he’s forgotten all about visiting her school.

Spider-Man swings his arms nervously.

“If it’s a community problem, I’m on it. I’m just a friendly―”

“―neighbourhood Spider-Man,” MJ finishes. “Yeah, I’ve heard the tagline. And you’re also my fake boyfriend until we figure out a way for you to tactfully dump me.”

He takes an excited step towards her.

“I know wha―”

She cuts him off with a swiftly raised hand.

“Don’t even say it.”

[yellowsugarwords]

Walking Dead Game FanFiction - “The Things We Do”

Title: The Things We Do Characters: Clementine, Luke, Kenny Summary: When Clementine gets her first period and sends Kenny and Luke out to find her products, the two bicker the entire way. Kenny makes fun of Luke and, in the end, Luke gets his revenge. All in the name of getting Clem tampons. Author's Note: this one was so fun to write!! i hope you guys like it!! Requested By: simply_psychopathic on Wattpad support me with ko-fi ♡ ---------♥️♥️♥️----------

“You have what happening right now?”

Luke closed his eyes, mortified by Kenny’s question. Of course, he knew that Clementine was far more mortified than he could ever be.

Clementine took a deep breath, exhaling sharply through her nose. Her hands were balled into fists, her face flushed red, and that grew even darker when she needed to repeat herself. “I’m,” she hesitated, gulping. “Bleeding. And I need stuff for it.”

Kenny stared at her, confused out of his skull. Beside him, smirking, Luke found his lack of comprehension hilarious. Deciding to spare Clementine the trauma of Kenny fumbling through even more questions, he stepped in. “I get it, Clem. We’ll handle it.”

“Handle what?” Kenny snapped, turning to the male. He absolutely hated feeling out of the loop, and right now? The loop was nowhere near him. They weren't even in the same realm.

Luke had a plethora of sisters when he was growing up. Seeing as he was the middle child — with girls in his house both younger and older than him — he learned about everything. His mother very much valued teaching him everything alongside his sisters. “There’s no value in keeping this a secret.” She’d said. “You’ll value knowing this. It affects you too.”

So, when Luke entered high school and his peers were learning all the ins and outs of contraception, safe sex and, of course, menstruation, Luke was well ahead of the game. To him, the topics didn’t phase him.

Clearly, Kenny hadn’t gone through the same treatment.

“My God,” he sighed as they wandered the forest road. Whether it was out of embarrassment, or shock, or disbelief that Clementine was growing up, Luke didn’t know. He chose not to ask.

“It’ll be an easy trip,” Luke said, adjusting his machete strap. “We’ll walk in, grab all that we can, then head back home.”

They were headed toward an abandoned convenience store on the side of the road. It was about a 20-minute walk — 30 with Kenny slowing Luke down — and the plan was to grab as much supplies as they could. That way, Clem wouldn’t need to worry about running out for a while.

“If it’s such an ‘easy trip,’ then why’d you have to drag me along?”

“Because I didn’t want you embarrassing Clem more than you have to.”

Kenny glared at the comment. Luke just smirked. All he knew about Kenny was that he, in the past, had a wife and a son. It didn’t surprise him that he knew so little, especially in their new world where children were so rare. Needless to say, the longer he could keep Kenny from saying anything awkward to Clem, the better.

Luke’s job was to make sure of that just like he had done for his sisters in the past. The memory gave his chest a bittersweet ache.

In silence, the two stumbled across the convenience store right on time and, just like they’d planned, slipped in without complication. The store, to that day, hadn’t been used as a base by any group. While Luke wanted to find it surprising, the truth was that it was so out-of-the-way people rarely stumbled across it. Considering that Carver’s camp was nearby, and that most of the road’s travellers were either escaping him or about to be kidnapped by him, no one wanted to linger for long.

The doors were unlocked and, weapons drawn, the two made their way in. When it was empty, they relaxed.

“Let’s search the place first,” Luke said, returning his machete and adjusting the bag slung over his shoulder. “There’s probably some stuff here we can use.”

Kenny hummed in agreement, pocketing his gun and adjusting his backpack. His only request was that Luke be the one who fetched what Clementine needed. Kenny knew absolutely nothing about what to get to help her.

Luke started in the cereal, crackers, and granola aisle. Three granola bars laid on the ground, clearly dropped from the last group to swing through. He tossed them into his bag and kept searching. On the other end of the store, Kenny was rifling through canned food, ignoring the ones that were punctured or swollen and instead bagging those in good condition.

Time passed in silence, and the two continued to scan the aisles, noting the one that carried the supplies they came for. Kenny avoided it. Luke glanced at it fleetingly, seeing how much space he needed to leave in his bag to swipe the aisle clean.

“Hey look,” Sounded through the silence.

Luke glanced up from where he was studying dusty, old boxes of what he assumed were cereal. He turned, passing an aisle for where Kenny was. “What?” He asked.

Stepping to the side, Kenny gestured to a baby doll. “It’s you.” He said. He was in the toy aisle which held only a handful of items. The smirk on his face at the insult — albeit a bad one — made Luke’s lip twitch.

Luke pursed his lips. Turning, he gestured to a small cluster of dust swept into the corner of a shelf. “And that’s you, old man.”

Kenny’s gaze turned and his smirk instantly vanished. “Let’s just get the shit and go.”

Luke was in charge of gathering and packing Clementine’s supplies as it was easiest for both of them. After all, Luke actually knew what he was getting. Kenny was lost beyond belief. So, as planned, Luke went to the section and swiped it clean. After stuffing his bag to the brim and transferring all of their collected food into Kenny’s bag, they continued on their way.

“So, your girlfriend’s never talked to you about any of this?”

Oh Lord did Kenny hate where this conversation was going. “No.” He said.

Luke puffed out his lower lip, but said nothing. It was strange to him that someone could live in a world where not only did they not know how menstruation worked, but that thought it was gross opposed to natural and normal.

“I know how it works. It’s not my place to ask for all the details about how they handle it.” Kenny furthered.

Luke shrugged. “It’s useful to know. Especially now since we’re all in such close quarters.”

Kenny knew Luke was right, but it would be a cold day in hell before he admitted that aloud. So, he remained silent.

He’d never had a daughter; he’d only ever had Duck. Seeing as Katjaa and Sarita were private people, they never thought to have a conversation about how they handled it. It felt pointless and needlessly embarrassing; something that could never emerge naturally in conversation, and seeing as he never had a daughter, it felt even less needed.

Should he learn all about it as a courtesy for the people he lived with? Probably. Was he going to? He didn’t know.

“Oh shit,” Kenny groaned, doubling over.

Luke turned hearing Kenny’s footsteps stop, staring at his hunched over figure. He raised a brow, skeptical. That was, until he spotted blood droplets hit the floor of the dirt path. His eyes widened and he jumped. “Kenny?” He asked, starting closer. “Hey, are you okay?”

The male groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and gradually forcing himself to be more upright. His head remained downcast. “Yeah,” he sighed. “Nosebleed.”

Luke blinked, watching as another blood droplet fell from his face and crashed to the floor. He raised a brow, considering, then relaxing. “Do you need a minute?”

“No shit.” He snapped. “I need to get the bleeding to stop before we start attracting.”

Luke placed his hands on his hips. Kenny has a point — walkers were attracted to the smell of blood. If they caught wind of him, that was trouble. Trouble that would lead them right back to the lodge.

So, they needed to stop the bleeding. And fast.

Louis paced, and looked around, and considered. Then, he smirked. Then, he laughed.

He rummaged through his bag and Kenny heard the crinkling of packaging. He groaned, assuming Luke was taking it easy, opening one of the granola bars they’d found. Instead, after a moment of bitterly waiting, his chin was jolted up and an object was shoved up his nose. The only thing he could see in his field-of-view was Luke’s cheeky grin.

Instantly, he knew what had happened. His gaze heaved in displeasure.

Well, now he didn’t ever need to have that conversation with Sarita. He knew exactly how women handled their cycle. He knew exactly how those strangely designed products benefited them.

“You’re an asshole,” Kenny scoffed, his voice nasally and congested.

Luke bit on his lower lip to force back a laugh as he stared at the male. He turned away, not wanting to make him even angrier. “I think it’s a really great look for you.”

“Luke--”

“Very educational.”

“Fuck you.”

His plan of ‘not making him angry’ was out the window. Though, what else had he expected? It was Kenny. He could breathe and Kenny would call him selfish for stealing oxygen from others.

They wandered in bitter silence, occasionally Kenny slinging another ‘you’re an asshole’ or ‘was this really necessary’ his way. Luke only ever chuckled. “Hey, it worked.” He’d say.

Because he was right, Kenny wouldn’t say anything.

Approaching the cabin, Luke went in first. His priority was to get Clementine’s supplies to her ASAP. It would settle her worries and bring her peace; why they set out on their mission to begin with. Maybe it would make seeing Kenny in the state he was in a little less traumatic.

“You’re back!” Clem beamed, scurrying to the top of the stairs as the two slipped inside. She’d emerged from one of the back rooms she’d been aimlessly waiting in, pleading they could to find what she needed.

Luke came up first, taking up her field-of-view. “And we were successful.” He slid the bag off of his back and passed it, sealed, to Clementine’s open arms.

“Thank you,” she sighed, the panic in her eyes washing away. “Where’s Ken…” but before the words could escape her lips, her eyes landed on the very person she’d been missing.

Luke stepped to the side as she began, exposing the very male she’d been looking for. At the bottom of the stairs, Kenny was abandoning his gun on the weapons bench, his glare cool and calculated.

As he started up the stairs, Clementine’s confused stare contracted. “Uh, Kenny?”

When he reached the top, his eyes closed, and he huffed a sigh out of his only free nostril seeing as a tampon was wedged up his bleeding nose. “Don’t ask,” he snarled, his voice nasally and constricted. He started away into one of the back rooms to clean himself up and sort himself out.

Luke smirked as he watched him wander away. He watched how red Clem’s flared cheeks became, eyes wide as she stared dead-ahead, the reality of the situation settling in. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder. “I think he might have a skewed view of what those are actually used for now.”

Then, the embarrassment washing away as quickly as it had drawn upon her cheeks, Clem smiled and laughed; eyes closed, head dipped forward to muffle her giggles, face bright and happy.

It was his favourite sound, and he couldn’t help but giggle too. Her embarrassment was beginning to fade and joy was taking hold. It was exactly what he always wanted to offer Clementine: protection, comfort, and happiness.

Just like he used to offer his sisters. ---------♥️♥️♥️----------

[cannotgiveafuck]

Billy Batson & Captain Marvel identity analysis (long post ahead)

Alrighty then! So I contemplated posting this bc it's so closely tied to the wip fic, buuuut here it is. Ive never been really satisfied with how some media portray this character bc they either lean too far towards childish or angry, or divide the identities too much. And whilst writing the fic I thought about how I wanted to portray him and what that entailed. A long semi comprehensive ramble of headcanons and character analysis based on the individual and combined identities of Billy and Marvel!

First, we have Billy. This kid who's parents died on a work trip, was left in the care of a greedy/selfish old man that did not care for him at all, has bounced through foster homes for a plethora of reasons (some of which are behavioral or abusive), and ultimately decided trying to make it on the streets was his best option (before being picked up by Dudley).

Now, backstory wise, it's all very obvious that Billy would have trust issues, especially towards adults (and double towards adults who try to control him). His learned attitude towards those that set their eyes on him (both before and especially after becoming Marvel) is guarded and aggressively defensive, he's snarky and sarcastic, ready to flee at a moments notice, and scared of being once again used, abused, and tossed aside if he were to trust someone. But at his soft core he desperately wants to be cared for, he wants affection and love and family, he wants a safe and secure home, he wants to believe in good.

All of this bleeds into his attitude towards his peers, too. Before becoming Marvel, he's a bit jaded and lost - his wrecked home life creating the chasm that keeps him from opening up and relating to others, from making real friends (the few exceptions being friends he considers family, and whom he is very loyal and protective of). After Marvel, Billy doesn't even try to associate with kids his own age. He stops going to school and is so focused on trying to be a good hero, he has distanced himself even more. But also, all the situations that he is exposed to really matures him. He still enjoys video games and sports, but he's also worrying about keeping Fawcett City and the world safe and working with JL - he doesn't have time nor patience for naive and clueless kids. But since he still is a kid and wants to have fun, those he let's in he holds onto and divulges everything to.

However, despite his hard outer shell, I do believe Billy is good and tries to be good and wants to see the good in those around him. A prominent and reoccurring memory of his parents is them telling him to be a good kid. That very much shapes Billy's views and ideologies. He wants to be a good person, which means he needs to help others (however he sees fit, from stopping bullies to carrying an old ladys groceries), but also realize that there is good all around him in everyone else, too. He has kind neighbors, and a community that helps each other, he knows everyone has their own struggles and they may direct negative emotions outward but may just need a helping hand in return. Billy knows suffering and cruelty and does not want to cause that, he wants to end it. So, theres this conflict inside him that he views as being smart vs being good. His true sunshine and trusting demeanor is boosted when he is chosen by Shazam, because now he has this divine and worldly responsibility to do and be good. And while he does not hold value in himself (abandoned and abused orphan does not hold a high confidence or self esteem level), he also wants to prove that he is worthy of inheriting this power, that there is good in this world and in him.

Now, second we have Captain Marvel. This is where identities become...complicated. The way I see it, Marvel is a mesh of 'Billy Batson', 'The Potential Adult Billy Could Be', and 'The Vessel of The Greek Gods Powers'. Since I've gone over Billy's identity, it transfers onto Marvel pretty seamlessly. So as The Adult Billy, he is still Billy Batson, but the grown up version, comfortable in his skin and in social standings with others, he is without the limiting physiological responses and capabilities of being a child. Despite all his experiences, Billy is still a kid - a bit awkward in his growing body, he's impulsive with his emotional responses, he jumps to conclusions and is very one track minded, has a hard time putting words to thoughts or instincts and understanding certain things and intentions (situations being very black and white). But as Adult Billy who is Marvel, he still sees through the same eyes, but he can filter distractions and pause to think through reflexive emotions, and he has a better understanding on just how morally grey the world can be, a gained clarity on other intentions and livelihoods, and he can empathize and read other's emotions in more detail than just the basic happy/mad/sad. Basically, Billy's brain has physically grown to that of an adult.

On the other hand, there is also what I like to believe is a...sort of third will in what makes Captain Marvel. He is, for all intents and purposes, a vessel or an avatar of sorts. He is a Chosen Champion by the Wizard Shazam to wield the powers of the Greek Gods (specifically the Greek gods, bc...well, that's a whole other post to ramble on), hes the mortal connection between them and the human world, their gift to the humans as a protector, as the guiding light of good. He is a symbol and title beyond one person. It is much like the mantle of Batman being passed on, except instead of all the gadgets and tech and databases...it's experiences and memories and wisdom gained by the previous Marvels, and available when properly called upon. Captain Marvel is like a reincarnation every time there is a new chosen champion. Billy is himself, but there were also others before him, other Marvels that existed and lived that can be remembered.

There is, however, a weird side effect to this being that the more in touch and immersed with these previous Marvel's he becomes, the more he slips away from himself - less Billy and human, more ancient and disconnected. He loses Billy's mannerisms and speech pattern and warm empathy, he still follows the ideology of good, but the charisma is gone, he's distant and cold.

All of this makes for a very interesting and fun way of writing Marvel and Billy - in how they each think through situations, how they each interact with the same people, how they each react to everything. And that's including how the same people react and treat each of them differently. Someone may see and treat Billy as a kid, but with Marvel they interact with and see an adult, a peer. When someone knows who Marvel really is, they need to consciously remind themselves that Marvel is Billy is a kid, because literally everything about Marvel screams at their senses that he's an adult (sunshine naivety aside). He still walks and talks and looks and is capable of thinking like an adult. It's not a situation of a couple of kids standing on top of each other in a trenchcoat or a kid dressing and doing their makeup like an adult. Magic has made him an adult, sort of.

At the core of it, the one experiencing and remembering and feeling everything is a child. There is no separating that, he is a different face of the same coin. So while Marvel can handle the emotional and mental exhaustion and stress of the situations he is put in, Billy Batson is going to suffer through the replays when everything is done. Because superheroing is not all saving lives and being praised, it's seeing people be hurt and bleed, interacting with the worst of humanity and others, witnessing tragedies and death in small intimate encounters and in large numbers. He is the one that will have nightmares and trouble sleeping, he is the one that will bear the brunt of the trauma and remorse, navigating detailed memories of violence and how it felt to hurt, wondering why there are phantom pains and aches when his body is not damaged, all with no trusted support system to turn to (because if he does, will the JL just see him as a child who cannot handle being a hero? will they turn him away?). Billy is the one having his childhood and innocence ripped away from him for the sake of the world. There are consequences of being the chosen champion, and while Billy is willing to accept them, will continue to fight and uphold his divine duties, will put others before himself every time, it wont make be easy.

The potential of how complicated Billy and Marvel can be, and how other heroes cannot fully comprehend it without a trusted in depth discussion (only Black Adam can understand and lemme tell you, that's a hot mess) - that's what makes him and his situation so interesting and fun to write.

[teresatranbooks]

Dear Blog,

Prompt: Write a new blog post with your reaction to the Beuhler chapters that you read for task 3 this week. How does Beuhler's work match with how you view your new role as an English teacher? What experience did you have with YAL in middle or high school? You will go more in depth with Beuhler and YA pedagogy in the fall. 

Beuhler’s Chapters 1 and 2 discuss reading YA books with passion and purpose, and viewing YA literature as complex texts as teachers who will one day teach and share YA books with their students. 

One of Beuhler’s tenets is in order “to learn, grow, and thrive, what all of these students need is...a wide landscape for reading” (Beuhler 3). That is, most students view reading as a chore, because for many of them, it is something they have to do, over something they want to do. It is an assignment. It is an expectation. It is another box they have to check off the list or a line they have to cross of on the agenda. And because they’re required to read mostly classics written by dead old white dudes, they’re “cut off from the larger world of literacy” (Beuhler 3). Because students aren’t directly told or handed diverse reading options, they fall out of love with reading and don’t develop that muscle of reading for later on. That is why many students, my friends, and myself included, over the years, began to repeat the sentiment of “I’m not much of a reader anymore.” It’s depressing!

But as Beuhler states in his chapter, students must be given a balanced reading diet. They need room (specifically time and space) to discover new books written by people who aren’t dead old white dudes. They need motivation to seek out those books. They need to hear from their teachers that them reading for “fun” and as a “hobby’ is not only good for them, but also encouraged in their ELA classroom. There needs to be room for students to develop their own reading tastes and reading stamina, but they can’t do that if they’re not allowed to employ a sense of agency within their choice in books. It is only through this sense of agency and a diverse palette of YA books will students begin to see reading as less of a chore, and more of a fun activity they can’t wait to do. 

This text also made me think about the multiple ways I, as teacher, can do to encourage this love and space for YA literature in the classroom. First, I want to create a space where students who already possess a love for reading YA books outside of the classroom don’t have to steal time to read inside the classroom. In other words, I want my classroom to be a place where students will have a dedicated time to read their contemporary YA titles and keep reading logs about them and talk about them with their peers. I don’t want my students who already consider reading as a hobby to ever feel like they have to sneak around me and the state-mandated curriculum to read their YA books -- and then be afraid I’ll take their books away from them, like the many times teachers did this to me. (I still think about these moments all the time...even in college. I lowkey have some trauma from that LOL).

Second, I want to create whole entire units around YA literature. But this might require going against state standards and school subject departments. So how can I make the case for YA lit in the classroom? Beuhler suggests marketing them as an outlet and/or case study for students’ personal and academic growth. The thing about YA lit is that it is entirely written for them. “YA list offers a way to meet students where they are now -- not just as readers, but as teens who are still figuring out their place in the world...YA lit honors that process of self-discovery” (Beuhler 3). When students read YA lit, they grow as the main characters grow. When students read YA lit, they see their personal journeys and feelings of adolescence (going from young child to young adult) paralleled in heightened and relatable ways. When students see themselves reflected in the literature they read, they end up feeling less alone in the world and develop a sense of community with other students who feel similarly. 

When we think about young adult students, we also think about puberty. We think about the multiple weird strange awful beautiful changes that happen physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially for them. We think about our own experiences during that time and how equally tumultuous it was for us. YA lit offers itself as a space for students and people in general to put their feelings and weirdness somewhere, where it’s private and peaceful and doesn’t make adolescence any more more embarrassing than it already inherently is.

In addition, when students read YA lit, they grow as readers. “If students in our classrooms might not have been readers in the past, but they can become readers now -- if we create conditions that support their individual development” (Beuhler 6). When making the case for YA lit in the classroom, I will emphasize how YA lit creates that confidence within students to believe that reading is something they can do. YA lit inherently has qualities that push students to motivate themselves to continue reading and develop a stronger reading muscle for heavier, longer, and more complex YA texts. YA lit makes reading accessible, breaks down barriers, enhances reading comprehension and critical thinking skills, and promotes a sense of creativity, all of which are qualities state standards try to achieve for students but can’t. 

And third, Beuhler talks about how his favorite YA novels are “those that defy categorization” (Beuhler 27). I think about how not only young teens, but kids and adults and seniors are reading YA lit more and more over other categories. Why? It’s because YA lit does so much at once to fulfill their reading and personal needs. They’re complex and rich and tackle so many relevant themes and experiences, but probably most importantly, they model a development arc that many folks are always secretly seeking. That sort of adventure of becoming into one’s own and developing confidence as a person with better informed opinions and forming new friendships and relationships with people. For kids and teens, it’s the excitement and hopefulness of growing older and breaking away from adult authority and becoming your own person. For adults and seniors, it’s the nostalgia and also hopefulness of returning to what youth was like and experiencing new things again. Because there is so much complexity in YA lit, it will require a complexity when teaching YA lit. 

As a teacher, I want to change the conversation about YA lit, dismantling the idea that it’s a category mainly for teenage girls, which, btw, what the hell is wrong with THAT? So what if it is mainly saturated with stories for and about teenage girls? Most of the books students have had to read have been led by boys and men and written by men -- and students of all genders have had no trouble reading them. But when suddenly girls’ and women’s perspectives are prioritized in narratives, or a category is predominantly centered around the experiences of girls and women, suddenly it’s beneath people and not as complex as other categories? Can someone say SEXISM?. While some people might argue that that is not why they view YA books as not nearly as “complex” as the classics, I think there’s no mistake that gender plays a big part in informing that particular mainstream point of view about YA lit. 

Furthermore, alongside Beuhler, I also believe that “sometimes calls for increasingly complex texts are really code for keeping classic literature at the center of the curriculum” (Beuhler 28). More specifically, I believe that most people’s calls for “complexity” in their reading, what they’re really calling for is either 

(1) books written by dead old white dudes about the American Male ExperienceTM where they find excuses to be racist or sexist or BOTH (fun!) and argue that it’s a relatable part of being an American Man (which ew! and wow, the bar is low), OR 

(2) books written by BIPOC authors that focus on the “Authentic” experience of being BIPOC, but mostly as a vehicle for white folks to fetishize the trauma and pain of BIPOC, without neither the actual empathy and compassion for BIPOC, nor the active commitment to creating systemic and individual change against the trauma and pain that BIPOC often face living under the white capitalist patriarchal police state that these books are often thematically preaching about.

Here’s the thing. YA lit definitely can perpetuate those same harmful practices that the classics often do. In fact, some YA novels already do. I can point to many of the YA Book Twitter drama that rightfully calls out problematic books, such as The Black Witch, on the daily. However, YA lit has shown over and over again that it can reach far beyond its intended target audience and tackle complex themes without infantilizing, again, their intended audience...which is young teens. The thing about literature and education and the passing on of information in general is that if you are an academic or a student or a teacher or an individual and you can not relay your perspective and/or argument in such a way where another person can understand it (even if they might disagree with it)...you have failed. 

YA lit is an example of when perspectives and themes and experiences that are often considered “complex” is successfully communicated to a young teenage audience because of its accessibility. If a classic cannot reach a bigger audience or in this case, reach a young teen demographic, it’s not because of a complexity that YA lit “lacks,” it’s because of the unnecessary, often racist and sexist gatekeeping in classic literature that privileges upper class white folks and their experiences which are often communicated in a language only other upper class white folks can speak and understand. Think about how many classic books are written in AAVE, aka African American Vernacular English? Most people will think of Toni Morrison or James Baldwin...but those are only two Black authors. Two. Out of how many white authors? However, I can think of countless YA lit books written not only in AAVE, but also different Chinese, Spanish, and African dialects by Chinese, Spanish, and African authors. As a teacher, I want to use all of these arguments and evidence I’ve just laid out to argue for the case of YA lit in the classroom. 

I always viewed my role as an English teacher as one with deliberate purpose. I’ve always wanted to be more than just an English teacher. I wanted to be the one person whose students would go to when they finished a book and wanted someone to listen to them rattle off about the parts they liked and didn’t like. I wanted to be the one person whose students would look to when they got bullied by other students or teachers and protect and comfort them, especially my fellow students of color. I wanted to be the one person whose students would ask for book recommendations and ask to read over their writing projects because they trusted my opinions. I wanted to be the person I needed when I was younger. If I can’t go back in time to the past, I’ll make sure I become that person in the present for the kids of the future generation...

And I’ll start with introducing them to YA lit.

[currentbalochistan]

Why I Left Home: The story of a Baloch refugee

Noroz Hayat September 19, 2019 Featured

I am obsessed with reading novels, short stories, or any literature about people who left their homes, were expelled from their countries or persecuted. A part of keeping informed is I don’t get weary of watching movies and documentaries about the lives of refugees or victims of torture and imprisoned for unjust reasons.

Of course, watching these movies now is different from when I was a kid in the late 90s, enjoying the silver screen with friends and cousins. Now the movies I watch are about real life, and they feel close to my real life.

When I go to bed after watching a movie in any language, I wake in the middle of the night, scared, reliving the scenes as if I am being abducted or tortured, or our village is being burned or evacuated, or I am running away from some army man, always afraid of what lies ahead, just like in the movies. This is painful, but is now a part of my life, part of why I left my home. I cannot run away from the reality of confronting it. Being aware of the trauma and the trials of others has made me realize that I am not the only victim of war, subsequent loneliness and homesickness. Which is why I decided to share my story too.

I was born in a small village called Khairabad, near Kech, in the south of Balochistan. I imagined in my wildest thoughts that one day I would be sitting alone, lonely, in the corner of a coffee shop writing the story of leaving my home, my family, friends, relatives, and carry along the childhood memories. I now understand how important they are and what they mean to a person.

Not only watching movies was fun, but my childhood was, as most childhoods are, innocent of the country’s political situation. As the only son of my parents, I was privileged to receive an abundant amount of love and affection from my cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended family. Daily life was going to the mud-built structure that served as a school, playing cricket after school with cousins and friends and occasionally herding the sheep to the fields. In the summer during school break, I would join my uncle and grandfather at date-palm farms, where my grandfather would sell the dates to city folks from Karachi who would come to buy Makurani dates at rock-bottom prices that only we offered.

Getting older was exciting, because our world expanded, or so we thought. Together with my cousins, we could not wait to go to Turbat, the nearest city that was 40 miles (64 kilometers) away. The only public transport from our village were Toyota pickups that took over an hour to reach the city on dirt roads. Once there, we would buy Balochi Chawat (traditional footwear) and walk around the streets of Turbat city.

Rahmat-e-Sheeren, Gadi Chok, and Balochistan Music Center were my favorite places in the city. Whenever I would go to Turbat, I would buy one Balochi cassette of music and never missed the Rahmat-e-Shereen sweets and samosas. It was a different world full of more adolescent kind of fun. My mother had promised me that when I graduate from high school that she would send me to Turbat for higher education. So, whenever I went to Turbat and looked at the buildings of Atta Shad Degree College, I told myself that I would be there someday, attending college classes in those buildings.

It wasn’t until I graduated from high school that I came to know that the land where I was born had already seen three political battles between Baloch nationalists and the Pakistani military. All of the conflicts involved much bloodshed, including of course people who were fighting for their land and justice. The people of Balochistan suffered the killing and persecution of numerous political leaders and as many activists, of whom if they weren’t killed took refuge in Afghanistan and the neighboring province of Sindh. Fortunately, Turbat, and the town where I grew up had not been affected by these trials as much as other towns, hence I was able to grow up somewhat innocent and enjoy being a child safe under the watchful eyes of my family.

Kech

My mother was good for her word: In 2006, I gained admission in Atta Shad Degree College and moved to Turbat. There were three dormitories for students on campus known as New, Old, and Complex. I was assigned to room six in the Old building. Four students, who were all from different villages and towns in the Kech district, and I shared the room. I also shared an education with these friends and roommates that wasn’t limited to the classroom.

As I learned my way around campus, I saw much writing and graffiti written in red paint and spray paints. It was written by the Baloch Student Organization (BSO). The various graffiti messages read:

“We didn’t accept the state census in Balochistan.”

“Kalam may tawar kitab may rahsoon. (The Pen is our guide, the Book our Leader!)”

“BSO ke rehnumabo ki griftari ryasati deshatgardi hai. (The arrest of BSO leaders is a form of state terrorism!)”

“Warna raj e bandat ant. (The youths are the future of the nation)”

“Army, get out of Balochistan.”

“We need education, not jail.”

This wasn’t the first time I had heard of the BSO. The first time I heard the name of the organization was in 2003, when I was in school. One of my cousins told me that some BSO walas were visiting our school and arranging a study circle type of event for the students. It was the first and last event of any kind that was conducted for students during all my school years. This organization seemed to care.

Apart from seeing BSO footprints around the campus and my singular knowledge of its existence from my cousin, I felt like a person who was given a new set of eyes, who had just popped out of his old environment into a contemporary world. College life was an entirely new experience for me. Not just the interaction with my roommates, but the daily interaction with several students from different towns and villages gave me a broader perspective on people.

Reading various works of literature that I had never before encountered, gave me a more reflective understanding of life. I made new friends and occasionally attended BSO study groups, where I sat around sipping the bitter and sweet tea at Pyary’s Canteen and smoking cigarettes like a grown-up man. I had crossed the threshold of adulthood by now.

Little did I know what lay beyond that initial step into being “grown-up”. How things would change so fast or how I ended up here sitting at this coffee shop writing, in exile. I am still asking myself these questions.

On August 27, 2006 the military entered the college grounds armed with loaded weapons and the arms of war. Faster than anyone could raise an alarm, almost one hundred students and staff of the college were taken becoming hostages of the military. Knowing this was illegal, just one of the offenses the military was committing, the principle of the school went out to tell the army Major leading the invasion that, without any official notice, he was not allowed to enter the college premises. The military man started shouting. I still remember his exact words: “Who the hell are you dictating what I can and cannot do? And what my authorities are!!!”

Naturally, the petrified students who were not taken by the military, were left to stand by, unable to believe what was happening. Remember, we were from an area that had not been directly affected by the political upheaval, this was not comprehensible to us.

The teachers themselves told us that the military had never forced themselves on college property before. This was an escalation of a situation none of us were well-informed of at the time. Unbeknownst to us at the college, the day before on August 26, a Baloch politician named Nawab Akbar Bugti, was assassinated in a military operation in Dera Bugti, his home town. Reacting to the assassination, student activists and politicians were out protesting against the military. In response, the military then put a curfew on the city of Turbat and other parts of Balochistan. The military had come to our school, as they had to colleges and universities across Balochistan to cordon off the areas and prevent students from going out and protesting against the military. When the security forces left the campus, I breathed a sigh of relief – as I’m sure everyone else did – packed my bags and left the city.

The invasion of the military was too much for me. But there was nothing for me to do at home and no space to smoke my cigarettes. I got bored. Even though I didn’t want to return, it was for me the only place to go at the time. So, after a week I returned to Turbat and college.

Returning to the college, I picked up where I left off from and started the same routine. However, it was not the same anymore. Turbat city had changed now, and it seemed to have spread throughout Balochistan. There was a feeling of trepidation. Students were caught up in politics, demonstrating and protesting against the state for the exploitation of Balochistan’s resources and the mistreatment of the people. The assassination and military incursion had awakened everyone to become involved, to be heard.

Of course, the military didn’t stand this. This was what they had tried to prevent in the first place, when they first showed up at the colleges and universities. On the other hand, some Baloch nationalists were holding political gatherings and raising the issue that Pakistan has been exploiting not only the resources, but the education and culture of Balochistan for the past six decades. Regardless of any negotiations that took place, the military seized and threw students in jail all over Balochistan. In an injustice as old as time, these activists were being put in jail for believing in and voicing the rights of Baloch to have a say in the governance of their own land.

The BSO

Although Aristotle wrote that the man is by nature a social animal, it is not entirely the reason I took the steps that I did leading to further escalate towards my exile. An intellectual capacity for seeing and understanding moral imperatives and wrongs was awakened in me. Being part of the Baloch students community, I started attending political gatherings at the college. There were two tiers of academic study at the college: one was regular classes with professors and the second was the Study Circle, which was arranged by students once or twice a week to talk and get insight on international politics, the political situation surrounding us in Balochistan, and literature and writings on democracy and liberalism. To add to our learning in the study circles, we invited Baloch intellectuals from different specialties to educate us.

From this training, I learned that as a people, we Baloch have a distinct culture and history which is different from the other nations in Pakistan, especially from the ruling majority class. I came to know a different version of history, one which was always hidden by the state from us. This different version of Baloch history is a history of subjugation and manipulation of our people by the state. This most recent version of Baloch history that I learned made me more critical of the everyday injustices that were occurring – had been there for a long time – in Balochistan.

Despite the very important learning that was taking place, I left Atta Shad Degree College after a year and a half. One day I just took my clothes, folded them in a dirty bag, and left the dorm with teary eyes. But I left my books in my room, just for the self-satisfaction that I would come back some day. There were two reasons I decided to leave. First was financial. My father had passed away when I was in 8th grade at school, and the amount of money he left behind was not enough to continue my higher education. The second reason was the city was getting more fraught with fear. The student dormitories were under watch by the Pakistani intelligence agencies. There was a big military base and secret service building near the college. Every night unknown people freely roamed the college grounds and went through the dormitories. There were suspicious cars with tinted mirrors that followed students when they arrived and left the main gate of the school. I was disillusioned, I knew I couldn’t stay.

Once home, I tried to ask relatives in the gulf countries to get me a labourer’s visa to get me out of there. But this wasn’t the path my mother was willing to let me go down. She was convinced that I must finish college. When I insisted that I could not go back to college in Turbat, she refused to give up on me following a higher education. She suggested going to school elsewhere. “Why don’t you go to Karachi? Karachi is a safe city. I will arrange some money for you.” And that’s just what she did. After staying at home for four months, I went to Karachi in August 2007 because of my mother’s persistence.

Karachi

It was a challenge to go back to school, and I faced a dilemma even though I had reached Karachi: Should I continue in school or should I return home and try to find a visa? This time I asked some relatives in Oman, Qatar and UAE, but did not receive any response. Which led to my decision to stay in Karachi until I finished my master’s degree.

Four other students, all from my village, and I rented a two-bedroom tiny apartment in Gulistan- e-Johar. The others had arrived before me and knew the lay of the land. Just to help me along, one of my roommates wrote on a piece of paper the names of three buses and where they would take me: ‘11-A will take you to the Liaquat Library, 4X will take you to the tuition center, and Lucky Star brings you home.’ That piece of paper and it’s directions were the start of a new life in Karachi.

In Liaquat Library, I met with several Baloch students who had traveled a hundred miles to come to Karachi to fulfill their desire for knowledge. Some of whom I met at the library were students enrolled at colleges, some from different universities. We were all there for the same reason: we had all learned a thing or two from the study circles of BSO back in our hometowns or and brought that knowledge to Karachi with us.

During this time in Karachi, my friends and I were treated as if we were illiterate, ignorant people. We heard many times, both in our classes and in public places that we Baloch lived in the mountains, were not civilized people, violent, uneducated, did not know how to speak proper Urdu, and just don’t wear decent clothes. We were frightened to go into non-Baloch dominant areas.

Despite being citizens of Pakistan, we were considered and treated as third-class citizens. My perspective and understanding of myself and fellow Baloch’s standing changed when I faced these biases. Luckily, during this time I was learning other things too which was strengthening my resolve, and the easy access to books, libraries, and the internet was aiding the person I was becoming. I had always wanted to be a social worker and accomplished this goal, first earning an undergraduate degree in 2009 in Sociology and then a Master’s Degree in Social Work in 2013.

Subsequent to completing my education, I worked for a couple of non-governmental organizations helping people as a social worker. However, despite my developing character and working in my chosen field and corporeal self being in Karachi, my thoughts were in Balochistan, my homeland.

My thoughts were soon to be cemented forever with Balochistan as it became harder to visit. In 2009, the Pakistani military started a new tool, a program called “Kill and Dump” to quell any kind of resistance, imagined or real, to their authority. This was intended to stop the Baloch political movement which was gaining more and more popular support in every corner of Balochistan. It was much stronger than the three previous political movements and especially since the Baloch youth were participating in it from the beginning.

The army first abducted those Baloch leaders and activists who condemned state absolutism in their public gatherings and demanded justice from the West, calling out to human rights organizations to intervene in Balochistan to stop state forces from exploiting Baloch resources. The military’s ruthlessness didn’t end there. Within a couple of years, the state deployed a hundred thousand security forces in different towns in Balochistan, built more security checkpoints on highways, where they checked every passenger’s identification card. It was also announced in print and electronic media that the state will punish the supporters and facilitators of the Baloch movement.

Mostly student activists, guilty only of trying to have their voices heard, were abducted from security check-posts. Every two to three days, they would “disappear” people from Bozi checkpoint, Gwadar Zero Point, Uthal checkpoint, and Khuzar checkpoint, and their decomposing bodies were dumped in Murgap, Turbat, Uthal, Quetta, Khuzdar and other parts of Balochistan.

My journey of social work and helping others didn’t go far because of the “Kill and Dump” operations. I was afraid I would be abducted and killed like many other students and activists. From 2009 to 2015, during my time in Karachi, we lost several BSO’s activists and some close friends. Zakir Majeed, a M.A English literature student and Senior Vice Chairman of BSO, was forcibly disappeared in Mastung in June 2009, and is still missing; no one knows about him. Qambar Chakar, 24, a student of Balochistan University of Information Technology Engineering and Management Science (BUITEMS), was abducted with his cousin in November 2010 from his home. Later his cousin Irshad Baloch was released, but Qambar Chakar’s decomposed body was found dumped in Murgaap, Turbat along with another missing student Ilyas Nazar, only 22, in January of 2011. Raza Jahangir, a good friend and Secretary General of the BSO, was killed in August 2013 with another activist Imdad Baloch in a military operation in Turbat. BSO’s Chairman Zahid Baloch was abducted in March, 2014 in Quetta, and he is still missing along with others.

With tensions and apprehensions escalating, traveling became more difficult. I had to cross ten to eleven security check posts, show my identification card to the army-guard whenever I went home from Karachi. I was asked numerous prying questions at the security checkpoints, and I had the feeling that they were just trying to pinpoint my movements and get information that was innocent enough, but that would be used against me for some unknown reason. It was getting more and more dangerous.

The last time I went home to Khairabad was in June 2014. After that, I stopped going back to the place where I grew up, and the place where my father, grandfather, grandmother, and uncle are buried. The place I call my homeland. My home.

In August 2015, I landed in the United States with the hope of finding a safe shelter to live peacefully for the rest of my life.

The author tweets at @noroz_hayat

[anupsingh11-blog]

IVF – In Vitro Fertilization | IVF Centres in Thane | ElaWoman

For many couples that are struggling in their adventure to expand or begin their families, the idea of In Vitro Fertilization higher known as IVF will arise. There are a number of misconceptions approximately it floating around on blogs and in the media, but. Today, we’ll wreck down some of the ones misconceptions, and hopefully answer a number of the questions you can have approximately IVF.

IVF – In Vitro Fertilization

IVF might be the best-recognised shape of ART in Thane. Also referred to as check tube child, it entails collection of sperm from guys and eggs from woman, which can be then positioned collectively in a petri dish in a laboratory. The embryologists and IVF specialists in Thane are highly qualified and skilled to carry out those processes with extreme care and precision. State-of-the-artwork device and era are used inside the process to make sure high achievement fee in each try. These conventional IVF treatment are achieved through maximum IVF clinics in Thane.

Chances of Success in IVF Treatment in Thane

The age of the girl undergoing treatment, and the purpose of the infertility are the 2 elements that affect the achievement fee of IVF centres in Thane. Younger girls are much more likely to have a successful being pregnant but for girls over the age of 42 years, chances of a a hit pregnancy are low. The percentage of IVF treatment in Thane with the likeliness to result in a live start is:

29% for ladies underneath 35 years

23% for girls elderly 35 to 37 years

15% for women elderly 38 to 39 years

9% for ladies elderly 40 to 42 years

3% for ladies aged 43 to 44 years

2% for ladies aged over 44 years

Who is an IVF candidate?

Many couples who warfare with conceiving evidently appearance to IVF. While only a medical doctor or fertility expert can decide if IVF is the quality direction of movement for infertility, a few sufferers may be higher proper than others. IVF is usually applied for individuals or couples who:

Have broken, blocked, or removed fallopian tubes

Have a reduced sperm depend, or sperm with mobility troubles or abnormalities

Have abnormal ovulation

Have endometriosis, uterine fibroids, or different uterine and ovarian situations

Genetic issues that a couple is making an attempt to prevent

Currae Specialty Hospital Thane, Maharashtra

Currae Specialty Hospital Thane, Maharashtra take a look at-up programmes are specially designed to in shape every one’s man or woman desires. Our fitness checkup programs locate your present fitness reputation and displays all the applicable biomedical parameters to discover any risk elements for this reason assisting you to take suitable steps in stopping any main or minor infection. The packages include medical evaluation and specialised consultations to form a complete precis of your clinical fame.The Currae Speciality Hospital for Plastic & Cosmetic surgical procedure is worried with improving the aesthetic look of someone to reshape ordinary systems of the body to decorate once look and build vanity and it is one of the best IVF Centres in Thane.

Currae Specialty Hospital Thane, Maharashtra group of fantastically reputed and skilled plastic and reconstructive professionals are pioneers within the discipline of cosmetic and reconstructive strategies. This team works collectively in a multi-disciplinary collaboration that offers you the satisfactory outcomes. As a part of a multidisciplinary aesthetic centre, our professional specialists can help restore your younger appearance and reawaken your herbal beauty. The noticeably professional and skilled Gastroenterology school at Currae Hospital provides session and treatment of gastrointestinal issues.

Dr. Sachin Wani

Dr. Sachin Wani has been born and taken up in Thane. He completed his MBBS from Rajiv Gandhi Medical College in 2000, MS Surgery from GMC, Miraj in 2006 and Diplomate in National Board (DNB) GI and HPB surgery (Superspeciality) in 2010 in Fortis Mulund Hospital. He has gone through schooling in laparoscopic GI Oncosurgery at Tata Memorial Hospital in 2009. He has also done his training in Laparoscopic Hepatobiliary Surgery and Laparoscopic liver resections at NHS Hospital, Southampton UK in 2012. He is currently running as a consultant GI, HPB specialist and Laparoscopic GI Oncosurgeon at Currae Speciality Hospital, Thane and Joy Multispeciality Hospital, Chembur.

Dr. Sachin Wani has loads of countrywide and worldwide papers and guides to his credit inclusive of an worldwide ebook in the magazine of laparoendoscopic and advanced surgical techniques on one in all the most important wide variety of laparoscopic pancreatic necrosectomy in the global. He also has authored a text bankruptcy on obstructed defecation syndrome in medical GI Surgery textbook which serves as a gaining knowledge of tool for trendy and GI Surgeons throughout India and the world.

Bethany Hospital

To assist serve you better, Bethany Trust, that owns and manages Lok Hospital, unveiled a comprehensive new world elegance healthcare facility that mixes compassion with the finest in diagnostic and therapeutic generation. Bethany Hospital, a one hundred twenty five-bedded multi-forte medical institution, became operational in June 2011. At the heart of the 8-storeyed structure is the equal perception that undergirded the ethos of Lok Hospital - lifestyles is a treasured gift of God and merits our utmost interest and it is one of the best IVF Centres in Thane.

Bethany Hospital has prepare surgical and medical knowledge of very high satisfactory. This one hundred twenty five-mattress, centrally air-conditioned hospital is absolutely equipped for world-class affected person-centred medical and surgical offerings. It homes a modern 24-hour trauma middle with an operation theatre connected. Outpatient rooms and the brand new diagnostic system along with the contemporary Siemens 1.Five Tesla MRI Scanner, Multi-slice spiral CT-Scan, an ICU, NICU , a 5-bed High Dependency Unit (HDU), shipping suite, dialysis room and present day pathology,  modular Operation Theatres on par with Mumbai town’s greatest and a bunch of properly-appointed wards

Cocoon Fertility

Cocoon Fertility gives a whole range of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) offerings, all beneath one roof. This maximizes comfort and comfort, ensuring that our sufferers do not have to tour to more than one locations for all their required services. Advanced treatment procedures inclusive of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI), Embryo Freezing (Vitrification) and Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET), PICSI (Physiological Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection), Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), and male techniques like PESA/ TESA, to name a few.

Cocoon Fertility began at the flagship centre in Thane that's unfold over a sprawling 4000 sq.Ft belongings, we've got separate regions for egg series, embryo switch, and an Intrauterine Insemination room (IUI). We have now accelerated to Santacruz at an similarly comfy location. Cocoon Fertility IVF Operation theatres are equipped with the modern day ultrasound machines for egg retrieval and embryo transfer, Oocyte aspiration unit, heating blocks, air filtration unit systems, and anesthesia machines.

Snehal Hospital

Snehal Hospital is a diagnosed call in affected person care. They are one of the famous Hospitals in Naupada-Thane West. Backed with a vision to offer the best in patient care and prepared with technologically advanced healthcare centers, they're one among the upcoming names within the healthcare industry. Located in , this sanatorium is without difficulty handy with the aid of diverse method of shipping. This health facility is likewise located at Adjacent To Mango Stationery - Naupada-Thane West.

Snehal Hospital is a Multispeciality Centre located in Thane West, Thane. It became setup inside the 12 months 1984. The health center is likewise popular as Karkhanis medical institution. Snehal Hospital affords various offerings which consist of Infertility assessment, In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF), Intrauterine insemination (IUI), Testicular Biopsy, Hysteroscopic Surgery, and Microsurgical Epididymal Sperm Aspiration (MESA) processes. This centre has been supplying services to its patients for the beyond three many years.

For more information, Call Us :  +91-8929020600

Visit Website  : Elawoman

Elawoman contact

Ela Facebook   Ela Twitter    Ela Instagram   Ela Linkedin    Ela  Youtube

[perfectzablog]

How Trauma, Abuse and Neglect in Childhood Connects to Serious Diseases in Adults

Excerpted from THE DEEPEST WELL: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Nadine Burke Harris. Copyright © 2018 by Nadine Burke Harris. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

[Dr. Vincent] Felitti suspected that he might have glimpsed a hidden relationship between histories of abuse and obesity. To get a clearer picture of that potential relationship, when he conducted his normal checkups and patient interviews for the obesity program, he now began asking people if they had a history of childhood sexual abuse. To his shock, it seemed as if every other patient acknowledged such a history. At first he thought there was no way this could be true. Wouldn’t he have learned about this correlation in medical school? However, after 186 patients, he was becoming convinced. But in order to make sure there wasn’t something idiosyncratic about his group of patients or about the way he asked the questions, he enlisted five colleagues to screen their next hundred weight patients for a history of abuse. When they turned up the same results, Felitti knew they had uncovered something big.

Dr. Felitti’s initial insight about the link between childhood adversity and health outcomes led to the landmark ACE Study. This was a prime example of doctors thinking like detectives, following a hunch and

then putting it through its scientific paces. Beginning with just two patients, this research would eventually become both the foundation and the inspiration for ongoing work giving medical professionals critical insight into the lives of so many others.

After the initial detective work within his own department, Felitti started trying to spread the word. In 1990 he presented his findings at a national obesity meeting in Atlanta and was roundly criticized by his peers. One physician in the audience insisted that patients’ stories of abuse were fabrications meant to provide cover for their failed lives. Felitti reported that the man got a round of applause.

There was at least one person at the conference who didn’t think Dr. Felitti had been hoodwinked by his patients. An epidemiologist from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), David Williamson was seated next to Felitti at a dinner for the speakers later that night. The senior scientist told Felitti that if what he was claiming — that there was a connection between childhood abuse and obesity — was true, it could be enormously important. But he pointed out that no one was going to believe evidence based on a mere 286 cases. What Felitti needed was a large-scale, epidemiologically sound study with thousands of people who came from a wide cross-section of the population, not just a subgroup in an obesity program.

In the weeks following their meeting, Williamson introduced Felitti to a physician epidemiologist at the CDC, Robert Anda. Anda had spent years at the CDC researching the link between behavioral health and cardiovascular disease. For the next two years Anda and Felitti would review the existing literature on the connection between abuse and obesity and figure out the best way to create a meaningful study. Their aim was to identify two things: (1) the relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and adult health-risk behavior (alcoholism, smoking, severe obesity), and (2) the relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and disease. To do that, they needed comprehensive medical evaluations and health data from a large number of adults.

Fortunately, part of the data they needed was already being collected every day at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, where over 45,000 adults a year were getting comprehensive medical evaluations in the health appraisal center. The medical evaluations amassed by Kaiser would be a treasure trove of important data for Felitti and Anda because they contained demographic information, previous diagnoses, family history, and current conditions or diseases each patient was dealing with. After nine months of battling and finally gaining approval from the oversight committees for their ACE Study protocol, Felitti and Anda were ready to go. Between 1995 and 1997, they asked 26,000 Kaiser members if they would help improve understanding of how childhood experiences affected health, and 17,421 of those Kaiser health-plan members agreed to participate. A week after the first two visits for this process, Felitti and Anda sent each patient a questionnaire asking about childhood abuse and exposure to household dysfunction as well as about current health-risk factors, like smoking, drug abuse, and exposure to sexually transmitted diseases.

The questionnaire collected crucial information about what Felitti and Anda termed “adverse childhood experiences,” or ACEs. Based on the prevalence of adversities they had seen in the obesity program, Felitti and Anda sorted their definitions of abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction into ten specific categories of ACEs. Their goal was to determine each patient’s level of exposure by asking if he or she had experienced any of the ten categories before the age of eighteen.

Emotional abuse (recurrent) Physical abuse (recurrent) Sexual abuse (contact) Physical neglect Emotional neglect Substance abuse in the household (e.g., living with an alcoholic or a person with a substance-abuse problem) Mental illness in the household (e.g., living with someone who suffered from depression or mental illness or who had attempted suicide) Mother treated violently Divorce or parental separation Criminal behavior in household (e.g., a household member going to prison)

Each category of abuse, neglect, or dysfunction experienced counted as one point. Because there were ten categories, the highest possible ACE score was ten.

Using the data from the medical evaluations and the questionnaires, Felitti and Anda correlated the ACE scores with health-risk behaviors and health outcomes.

First, they discovered that ACEs were astonishingly common — 67 percent of the population had at least one category of ACE and 12.6 percent had four or more categories of ACEs.

Second, they found a dose-response relationship between ACEs and poor health outcomes, meaning that the higher a person’s ACE score, the greater the risk to his or her health. For instance, a person with four or more ACEs was twice as likely to develop heart disease and cancer and three and a half times as likely to develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) as a person with zero ACEs.

Given what I’d seen in my patients and in the community, I knew in my bones that this study was dead-on.

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris (Michael Winokur)

It was powerful evidence of the connection that I had seen clinically but had never seen substantiated in the literature. After reading the ACE Study, I was able to answer the question of whether there was a medical connection between the stress of childhood abuse and neglect and the bodily changes and damage that could last a lifetime. It seemed clear now that there was a dangerous exposure in the well at Bayview Hunters Point. It wasn’t lead. It wasn’t toxic waste. It wasn’t even poverty, per se. It was childhood adversity. And it was making people sick.

One of the most revealing parts of the ACE Study was not what it investigated but who it investigated.

Many people might look at Bayview Hunters Point and see the rates of poverty and violence and the lack of health care and say, “Of course those people are sicker; that makes sense.” After all, that’s what I learned in public-health school. Poverty and lack of adequate health care are what really drives poor health outcomes, right?

This is where the ACE Study comes in and shakes things up, showing us that the dominant view is missing something big. Because where was the ACE Study conducted?

Bayview? Harlem? South-Central Los Angeles?

Nope.

Solidly middle-class San Diego.

The original ACE Study was done in a population that was 70 percent Caucasian and 70 percent college-educated.

The study’s participants, as patients of Kaiser, also had great health care. Over and over again, further studies about ACEs have validated the original findings. The body of research sparked by the ACE Study makes it clear that adverse childhood experiences in and of themselves are a risk factor for many of the most common and serious diseases in the United States (and worldwide), regardless of income or race or access to care.

The ACE Study is powerful for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that its focus goes beyond behavioral or mental-health outcomes. The research wasn’t conducted by a psychologist; it was conducted by two internal medicine doctors. Most people intuitively understand that there’s a connection between trauma in childhood and risky behavior, like drinking too much, eating poorly, and smoking, in adulthood (more on that later).

But what most people don’t recognize is that there is a connection between early life adversity and well-known killers like heart disease and cancer. Every day in the clinic I saw the way my patients’ exposure to ACEs was taking a toll on their bodies. They may have been too young for heart disease, but I could certainly see the early signs in their high rates of obesity and asthma.

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris is the founder of CEO of the Center for Youth Wellness in San Francisco’s Bayview Hunters Point. She is the subject of a New Yorker profile and the recipient of a Heinz Award, among many other honors. Her TED talk “How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across the Lifetime” has been viewed over three million times. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and four sons. THE DEEPEST WELL is her first book.

How Trauma, Abuse and Neglect in Childhood Connects to Serious Diseases in Adults published first on https://greatpricecourse.tumblr.com/

[bisoroblog]

How Trauma, Abuse and Neglect in Childhood Connects to Serious Diseases in Adults

Excerpted from THE DEEPEST WELL: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity by Nadine Burke Harris. Copyright © 2018 by Nadine Burke Harris. Reprinted by permission of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

[Dr. Vincent] Felitti suspected that he might have glimpsed a hidden relationship between histories of abuse and obesity. To get a clearer picture of that potential relationship, when he conducted his normal checkups and patient interviews for the obesity program, he now began asking people if they had a history of childhood sexual abuse. To his shock, it seemed as if every other patient acknowledged such a history. At first he thought there was no way this could be true. Wouldn’t he have learned about this correlation in medical school? However, after 186 patients, he was becoming convinced. But in order to make sure there wasn’t something idiosyncratic about his group of patients or about the way he asked the questions, he enlisted five colleagues to screen their next hundred weight patients for a history of abuse. When they turned up the same results, Felitti knew they had uncovered something big.

Dr. Felitti’s initial insight about the link between childhood adversity and health outcomes led to the landmark ACE Study. This was a prime example of doctors thinking like detectives, following a hunch and

then putting it through its scientific paces. Beginning with just two patients, this research would eventually become both the foundation and the inspiration for ongoing work giving medical professionals critical insight into the lives of so many others.

After the initial detective work within his own department, Felitti started trying to spread the word. In 1990 he presented his findings at a national obesity meeting in Atlanta and was roundly criticized by his peers. One physician in the audience insisted that patients’ stories of abuse were fabrications meant to provide cover for their failed lives. Felitti reported that the man got a round of applause.

There was at least one person at the conference who didn’t think Dr. Felitti had been hoodwinked by his patients. An epidemiologist from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), David Williamson was seated next to Felitti at a dinner for the speakers later that night. The senior scientist told Felitti that if what he was claiming — that there was a connection between childhood abuse and obesity — was true, it could be enormously important. But he pointed out that no one was going to believe evidence based on a mere 286 cases. What Felitti needed was a large-scale, epidemiologically sound study with thousands of people who came from a wide cross-section of the population, not just a subgroup in an obesity program.

In the weeks following their meeting, Williamson introduced Felitti to a physician epidemiologist at the CDC, Robert Anda. Anda had spent years at the CDC researching the link between behavioral health and cardiovascular disease. For the next two years Anda and Felitti would review the existing literature on the connection between abuse and obesity and figure out the best way to create a meaningful study. Their aim was to identify two things: (1) the relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and adult health-risk behavior (alcoholism, smoking, severe obesity), and (2) the relationship between exposure to abuse and/or household dysfunction in childhood and disease. To do that, they needed comprehensive medical evaluations and health data from a large number of adults.

Fortunately, part of the data they needed was already being collected every day at Kaiser Permanente in San Diego, where over 45,000 adults a year were getting comprehensive medical evaluations in the health appraisal center. The medical evaluations amassed by Kaiser would be a treasure trove of important data for Felitti and Anda because they contained demographic information, previous diagnoses, family history, and current conditions or diseases each patient was dealing with. After nine months of battling and finally gaining approval from the oversight committees for their ACE Study protocol, Felitti and Anda were ready to go. Between 1995 and 1997, they asked 26,000 Kaiser members if they would help improve understanding of how childhood experiences affected health, and 17,421 of those Kaiser health-plan members agreed to participate. A week after the first two visits for this process, Felitti and Anda sent each patient a questionnaire asking about childhood abuse and exposure to household dysfunction as well as about current health-risk factors, like smoking, drug abuse, and exposure to sexually transmitted diseases.

The questionnaire collected crucial information about what Felitti and Anda termed “adverse childhood experiences,” or ACEs. Based on the prevalence of adversities they had seen in the obesity program, Felitti and Anda sorted their definitions of abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction into ten specific categories of ACEs. Their goal was to determine each patient’s level of exposure by asking if he or she had experienced any of the ten categories before the age of eighteen.

Emotional abuse (recurrent) Physical abuse (recurrent) Sexual abuse (contact) Physical neglect Emotional neglect Substance abuse in the household (e.g., living with an alcoholic or a person with a substance-abuse problem) Mental illness in the household (e.g., living with someone who suffered from depression or mental illness or who had attempted suicide) Mother treated violently Divorce or parental separation Criminal behavior in household (e.g., a household member going to prison)

Each category of abuse, neglect, or dysfunction experienced counted as one point. Because there were ten categories, the highest possible ACE score was ten.

Using the data from the medical evaluations and the questionnaires, Felitti and Anda correlated the ACE scores with health-risk behaviors and health outcomes.

First, they discovered that ACEs were astonishingly common — 67 percent of the population had at least one category of ACE and 12.6 percent had four or more categories of ACEs.

Second, they found a dose-response relationship between ACEs and poor health outcomes, meaning that the higher a person’s ACE score, the greater the risk to his or her health. For instance, a person with four or more ACEs was twice as likely to develop heart disease and cancer and three and a half times as likely to develop chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) as a person with zero ACEs.

Given what I’d seen in my patients and in the community, I knew in my bones that this study was dead-on.

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris (Michael Winokur)

It was powerful evidence of the connection that I had seen clinically but had never seen substantiated in the literature. After reading the ACE Study, I was able to answer the question of whether there was a medical connection between the stress of childhood abuse and neglect and the bodily changes and damage that could last a lifetime. It seemed clear now that there was a dangerous exposure in the well at Bayview Hunters Point. It wasn’t lead. It wasn’t toxic waste. It wasn’t even poverty, per se. It was childhood adversity. And it was making people sick.

One of the most revealing parts of the ACE Study was not what it investigated but who it investigated.

Many people might look at Bayview Hunters Point and see the rates of poverty and violence and the lack of health care and say, “Of course those people are sicker; that makes sense.” After all, that’s what I learned in public-health school. Poverty and lack of adequate health care are what really drives poor health outcomes, right?

This is where the ACE Study comes in and shakes things up, showing us that the dominant view is missing something big. Because where was the ACE Study conducted?

Bayview? Harlem? South-Central Los Angeles?

Nope.

Solidly middle-class San Diego.

The original ACE Study was done in a population that was 70 percent Caucasian and 70 percent college-educated.

The study’s participants, as patients of Kaiser, also had great health care. Over and over again, further studies about ACEs have validated the original findings. The body of research sparked by the ACE Study makes it clear that adverse childhood experiences in and of themselves are a risk factor for many of the most common and serious diseases in the United States (and worldwide), regardless of income or race or access to care.

The ACE Study is powerful for a lot of reasons, but a big one is that its focus goes beyond behavioral or mental-health outcomes. The research wasn’t conducted by a psychologist; it was conducted by two internal medicine doctors. Most people intuitively understand that there’s a connection between trauma in childhood and risky behavior, like drinking too much, eating poorly, and smoking, in adulthood (more on that later).

But what most people don’t recognize is that there is a connection between early life adversity and well-known killers like heart disease and cancer. Every day in the clinic I saw the way my patients’ exposure to ACEs was taking a toll on their bodies. They may have been too young for heart disease, but I could certainly see the early signs in their high rates of obesity and asthma.

Dr. Nadine Burke Harris is the founder of CEO of the Center for Youth Wellness in San Francisco’s Bayview Hunters Point. She is the subject of a New Yorker profile and the recipient of a Heinz Award, among many other honors. Her TED talk “How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across the Lifetime” has been viewed over three million times. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and four sons. THE DEEPEST WELL is her first book.

How Trauma, Abuse and Neglect in Childhood Connects to Serious Diseases in Adults published first on https://dlbusinessnow.tumblr.com/