#this makes what they had to do to ed so much more heartbreaking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

andvys · 1 year ago

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I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss | part 8

Warnings: angst, heartbreak, mentions of weight loss and allusions to an ED, sexual harassment (reader being cornered by a guy & mentions of Billy groping reader in the past), grab some tissues this one is sad

Pairings: Steve Harrington x fem!cheerleader!reader , Steve Harrington x Nancy Wheeler

Summary: You spend one last night with Steve.

Word count: 10k

A/N: @mysticmunson thank you as always, angel. you always inspire me so much with your amazing ideas, I love u🤍 — also its mostly proofread but if there are any mistakes…. you didn’t see them!

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Steve stares at you with a mixture of hope and curiosity in his eyes. He can’t remember the last time he had seen you on his doorsteps. He knows that you aren’t here for the reasons he hopes for but his heart still holds onto that hope.

You look at him expectedly, your hands are shaking. There’s a snowflake on your eyelash, you wipe it away and blink as you look up at him.

“Y-Yeah, come inside,” he says as he moves to the side. His gaze softens when your eyes flash with uncertainty, you look behind his shoulder.

“Can’t you come outside?”

“Y/n, just come in–”

“Steven, who is it?” You hear his mom say. You hear her footsteps and see her as she walks into the hallway, her eyes widen and a smile appears on her face when her eyes meet yours.

“Y/n!” She smiles excitedly, “come on in, dear. What are you doing out there in the cold?”

You really don’t want to step inside his house but you can’t say no to her and before you can even protest, she pulls you inside and wraps her arms around you, hugging you tightly.

“It’s been so long!” Helen says. She pulls away and places her hands on your shoulders, “look at you – she’s getting more and more beautiful, isn’t she, Steve?” She turns around to face her son with a smile on her face. You look at him with narrowed eyes, he nods.

“Yes she is,” he says.

He is not making any of this easier for you.

“Come inside, we are just about to eat dinner.”

“Oh no, I don’t mean to intrude, I just wanted to–”

“I won’t accept a no and you know you could never intrude, darling,” she says, shaking her head. “Come on, we got so much catching up to do! Take your coat off.”

She looks at you expectedly, she really won’t accept a no. You can’t help but chuckle, you take your coat off and hand it to Steve who holds his hand out.

“Thanks,” you mumble as you look into his eyes.

He smiles.

You look away from him, you fix your hair and smooth down your skirt.

“That’s a beautiful skirt,” Helen gushes, she reaches for your hand and pulls you further into the house.

Steve’s heart flutters when he hears your giggle. He watches you walk into the kitchen with his mom. He can’t help but feel excitement rushing through him at the thought of spending the night with you, he knows that this won’t mean anything and deep down he knows you came to talk about something that won’t leave him with a smile on his face at the end of the night but he can’t help but hold onto the hope that you might want to give him a chance – as silly as the thought is.

He hears his dad saying your name with an excited tone in his voice, when he walks into the kitchen, he finds him hugging you.

They are never this excited to see her. Steve looks down, a feeling of self hatred blooms in his chest.

He ruined everything.

“Are you eating enough, kid? You look like you’ve lost some weight.”

Steve raises his head to look at you, you raise your brows in surprise as you stare at his dad, a nervous laugh falls from your lips.

“Dad,” Steve warns when he notices your discomfort.

His dad looks over your shoulder, waving his son off, he looks back down at you and wraps his arm around your shoulder as he leads you into the dining room.

“Helen is making Lasagna tonight, it’s still your favorite right?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle.

“I’m glad you’re here, who else would I share all the garlic bread with.”

Another laugh falls from your lips and Steve has to close his eyes, he takes a deep breath. All this takes him back to all the Saturday dinners you have spent together.

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

He shakes his head and opens his eyes as he looks at the ceiling.

“It’s never too late to fix things, Steve.”

He feels a little startled by his mom’s voice.

“Sometimes it is,” Steve says. “She hates me.”

She sighs and shakes her head at him, “she wouldn’t be here if she hated you–”

“She’s here because you wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Steve mumbles, rolling his eyes. He knows that you came here to talk, not to spend a family dinner with his family.

“Yeah but she came here for you, to talk, I assume?”

Steve shrugs, he hears your voice in the dining room along with his dad’s laughter.

“Not for the reasons I’d hope.”

She raises her brows in questions, she tilts her head and leans her hand against the counter.

“What reasons were you hoping for?”

“A second chance, mom.”

“Well, you won’t get one if you don’t leave that girl of yours first,” she mumbles and reaches for the bowl of salad, pushing it in his hands and giving him a stern look, “you’re behaving like a fool, Steven.”

He closes his eyes again and clenches his jaw. He feels embarrassed.

“You know, you remind me of Harold. He was breaking hearts left and right when he was younger, then he had this amazing girlfriend and guess what he did?”

“He cheated on her,” Steve mumbles, nodding, “you told me this story a thousand times already.”

“Yeah and I’ll tell it a thousand times more. I don’t want you to end up like my brother, Steven. Look at him now, he is old and miserable and hung up on a woman who has been happily married for the past twenty years.”

“I’m not gonna end up like uncle Harold,” Steve sighs.

“You’re on the best way there.” She points her finger at him and gives him a stern look as she leans closer, “you broke that poor girl’s heart – I can see the pain in her eyes and your father is right, she lost weight, she’s not doing well.”

Worry flashes in his eyes and the guilt that has been nagging at him comes rushing back.

“I don’t want either of you to be miserable but I know that you will be if you don’t pull yourself together. She’s an amazing girl, Steve. Someday, she’s gonna try again and she’s gonna meet an amazing man who will give her everything she wants and you’ll regret letting her go.”

Steve frowns. He knows that she is right. There will be someone who will give you the things that he never could but the thought of that makes him want to throw up and break down.

The thought of you falling in love with someone else hurts him. The thought of you getting married to someone else, having kids and living that life without him makes him miserable.

He can see why his mom is so afraid of him becoming like his uncle – he will if he doesn’t make things right.

He snaps himself out of his thoughts when his mom squeezes his shoulder, “if you want her back, you gotta fight for this girl and it won’t happen overnight, Steve.”

She gives him a look of sympathy, one that he doesn’t deserve. It was him who screwed up after all.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers. He turns around and walks away, stepping into the dining room, he places the salad bowl on the large table and glances at you. You’re in the living room, sitting on the couch next to his dad who is showing you his new vinyl collection. He knows that you don’t want to be here, not like this. You are probably already regretting the decision of coming here.

He sees the excited look on your face when you reach for the Fleetwood Mac Vinyl. You instantly begin to gush over the band, his dad chuckles at your excitement.

His parents might not be around a lot but you had always gotten along with them, you were the one who convinced him to stay at home for dinners on the weekends, you were the one who convinced him to spend more time with his dad when he asked him to. Steve was angry at his parents for not being around and he punished them by giving them the cold shoulder when they were at home. You changed that. His relationship with his dad is better than it ever was, thanks to you.

You have done so many good things for him.

He never did anything for you – he didn’t do any good.

As he looks at you, he notices that they are right. You did lose some weight, your face looks thinner and the circles beneath your eyes are visible even through the concealer you are wearing. He feels sick, knowing that he was the one who caused – causes you so much distress.

His dad leads you back into the dining room and Steve straightens up when your eyes lock.

“Take a seat, darling. I’ll go help Helen in the kitchen.” He says, giving you a smile before he turns around and walks back into the kitchen, leaving you and Steve alone in the dining room.

You swallow nervously and clear your throat. Fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater, you look around.

Steve stares at you, just taking in the sight of you in his house. Steve is convinced that you are the most beautiful girl in the world.

You are nervous, he can tell by the way you are bouncing your knee and playing with the loose string on your sleeve.

“Come here,” he says, gesturing to the chair that he pulls back.

You nod and walk over to him, you sit down and turn your head to look up at him. He sits down beside you. This feels like a deja vu and you don’t know how you feel about it.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper as you break the silence between the two of you.

“What?” He mumbles, looking at you in confusion. “What are you sorry for?”

“I didn’t want to intrude–”

“You could never,” he says, interrupting you. Out of instinct, he places his hand over yours, causing you to freeze, he notices it right away and pulls his hand back, closing his eyes, he sighs, “I’m sorry. I’m just – I’m happy you’re here even though I know you didn’t come here for this.”

“We can talk later.”

He nods, swallowing nervously. He hopes the time will pass slowly tonight.

He notices how calm you are despite the nervousness you are showing. He doesn’t know whether it’s a good or bad sign. The last time you had been together, you ended up kicking him out with tears streaming down your face and now you are calm, peaceful and there isn’t an ounce of anger in your eyes left. What does it mean?

A bad feeling settles in the pit of his stomach, something tells him that this night won’t end well.

“Did you have a nice night?” He asks as he watches your face contort in confusion, “with Eddie, I mean.”

“Oh,” you mumble. His question takes you back to the conversation you had with Eddie, the one about him. “Yeah, we went to the diner and then watched a movie at his place.”

Steve nods, keeping his composure.

“Y-You spent the night with him?”

You know that you don’t have to answer his question, it’s none of his business but you nod anyway and look into his eyes.

“Yeah, sometimes he stays over at my place.”

His heart twists at your words. A sullen look takes over his face. He tastes that bitterness on his tongue. You say you’re just friends but he saw more than friendship between you both when you danced together but maybe it was just his jealousy that tried to make him believe that it’s more than that.

“Oh.”

“How was your night?” You ask as though you care. You don’t want to hear about his night with Nancy. “Did you have fun?”

Steve can see your clenched jaw – you are jealous.

“It was okay.” The night was horrible and he hated every second of it. He didn’t want to be with her, he wanted to be with you.

You stare at each other in silence for a long moment before you break eye contact.

“I’m gonna see if your parents need help–”

“Don’t,” Steve says as he puts his hand on the back of your chair, holding himself back from touching you this time. “You know my mom won’t let you do anything anyway.”

His parents walk into the room seconds later, glancing between the both of you. By the looks on their faces, you can tell that they have been talking about you two in the kitchen. You don’t know what to think or feel but you can’t help but wonder; do they like her?

She puts way too much food on your plate, the way she always does – she ignores your protests.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” John asks you, jokingly of course. He holds the bottle up before he pours some of it into his wife’s glass.

“John,” she chuckles, rolling her eyes. “They’re too young.”

You and Steve glance at each other with narrowed eyes. You have stolen a few bottles of his mom’s favorite wine and you’ve gotten drunk together.. a lot.

“We used to be young too.”

You chuckle at his words and at the sigh that leaves her lips as she sits down across from you, she waves him off.

You would’ve thought that this would be awkward and well, between you and Steve it absolutely is but his parents make it less awkward. It all still feels so natural and it makes you sad.

“Did you go to the dance last night?” Helen asks, reaching for the wine glass before taking a bite of her salad.

You nod, “yeah, it was uh– nice.”

“Who was the lucky guy?” John asks, he glances at Steve with narrowed eyes as he bites into the garlic bread.

Steve sighs.

“I uh, I didn’t actually–”

“Eddie Munson,” Steve mumbles as he grips the fork tightly in his hand.

His mom raises her brows at Steve, her eyes flash with amusement when she sees the very obvious jealousy on his face.

His dad laughs and for a moment, you feel nervous. The Harringtons never seemed like judgmental people, despite the things people say about them but you know how people talk about Eddie and how cursed his last name is thanks to his father.

“Wayne Munson’s boy?” He asks you.

“You know Wayne?” You ask and straighten up in your seat.

“Yeah! We were friends in high school, we didn’t have much in common but he was nice. We didn’t see much of each other after school but I liked him.”

You smile, feeling a little surprised at the revelation.

“You were friends with Eddie’s uncle?” Steve mumbles with confusion on his face that could be easily mistaken with judgment.

His dad leans back, giving him a stern look, “yeah, he was a real friend, son. You’re supposed to know what that is but you don’t put much value on real friendships – or relationships,” he mutters the last bit.

You almost feel bad for Steve, almost.

He deserves this. He deserves all of this and worse, he knows it.

“Is he treating you well?” Helen asks, breaking the awkward silence in the room, “Eddie?”

A nervous chuckle escapes your lips, you can’t help but blush when you feel all eyes on you.

“Oh, we are not dating. Eddie and I are just friends,” you say before you finally take a bite of the Lasagna, hoping that you won’t get asked any more questions about this.

“That’s a shame, I’m sure he is amazing.”

Steve glares at his dad. He feels his blood boiling.

“Oh, he is,” you smile, “he’s very sweet. He drove Steve home the other day.”

His parents look at you in surprise and then turn to look at Steve who tenses up a little.

“When his car broke down.”

Steve turns to look at you and you can’t help but smirk when you see the annoyed look on his face.

“That’s funny,” Helen laughs, “that’s how you and Wayne became friends, right?” She asks her husband who nods at her words. He begins to tell the story about the summer he and Wayne started hanging out.

You listen intently while Steve begins to eat his food. You can sense his irritation, it’s been there ever since he brought about Eddie. He relaxes a little when his mom changes the topic and starts talking about her plans for Christmas this year.

It’s weird for you to sit next to him, to sit at a table with his parents and eat dinner like nothing ever happened. At some point, Steve places his hand on the back of your chair when he is done eating. You don’t think that he realizes that he did, he is too absorbed in a conversation with his dad.

When Helen gets up, you use the opportunity to escape as well, ignoring her protests, you help her clean up the table. You gather all the plates and ignore the looks he gives you. You walk into the kitchen and place the dirty plates next to the sink, you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

All you wanted was to have a conversation, to have him lay all the cards on the table, to finally be completely honest with you. You didn’t want this because this is only making things so much harder.

“Is everything alright?” Helen asks as she walks into the kitchen as well, carrying the dirty dishes over to the sink.

You force a smile on your face and turn around to face her.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You lie.

She doesn’t look convinced. She knows you almost as well as your mom does. She tilts her head and smiles at you, sadly.

“It’s okay to not be okay, y/n.”

She places her hand on your shoulder, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressured you into this.”

You shake your head, “no, it’s okay! You know I always liked the family dinner’s,” you smile, “and your cooking.”

She smiles warmly but the look in her eyes is one of sadness and sympathy. She knows that you love him, you always showed it and you still do, whether you know it or not. It’s in your eyes, it’s written all over your face. You may be young with a whole life and so many chapters ahead of you but one thing is for certain – there won’t be another love like this, not for you. He was the one for you.

“How are you, y/n?” She asks.

She doesn’t want to hear any lies, she wants to hear the truth.

It’s a genuine question, not just a conversation started or a small check-up. She genuinely wants to know how you really feel. You don’t know why but it makes your heart clench in your chest and the tears that well up in your eyes are inevitable.

You blink, trying to push them away. You don’t want to cry and break down in your ex boyfriend’s kitchen.

You look down when you feel your bottom lip trembling.

“I-I hate this,” you whisper as you continue to blink, hoping that your tears will vanish. “I hate that he did this, I hate that I miss him so much and that I love him even after he broke my heart.”

You feel so pathetic when you break into tears.

“Oh y/n,” she whispers as she pulls you into a hug. She squeezes you tightly and rubs your back. “You will be okay – both of you.” She says and looks over at Steve who stands in the doorway with a guilty and sad look on his face.

It hurts to see you like this, it’s something he will never forgive himself, to know that he was the one who did all of this. To know that he was the one who hurt the girl he loves more than anything else in this world.

When you pull away from the hug and your eyes lock with his, you look a little startled. You quickly wipe your tears away and step back, “I-I’m sorry, I should go.”

Before he or his mom can react, you rush out of the kitchen and into the hallway. You put on your shoes and grab your coat, leaving the house quickly. The air is colder than it was before, the snow is falling peacefully. You sniffle as you wipe your tears away. You knew it was a bad idea to come here. You knew it.

You hear the door shutting behind you as you walk down the driveway.

“Y/n! Wait!”

You don’t turn around, you continue to walk whilst you put your jacket on. You hear his footsteps coming closer, there is no use trying to run from him.

“Wait!” He sighs. He reaches for your hand and pulls you back, he is surprised when you don’t push his hand away. He falls quiet when he looks at your face, you have wiped your tears away but the glassiness in your eyes is still present. “Y/n,” he says, softly.

You hate the sorry look on his face, the soft eyes and the gentle touch of his hand.

“You wanted to talk.”

“Can we do this tomorrow–”

“No,” he shakes his head, holding your hand tighter than before, “let’s do it now, please.”

“I just wanna go home, Steve.”

“Then I’ll drive you home and we can talk in the car.”

You shake your head. You hate that you feel so weak all of the sudden, that you struggle to push his hand away, that you struggle to look away from him. You don’t know what happened but it’s like every strength has left your body and you can no longer push him away from you with that cold front you put up before.

“I want to walk.”

He nods, “okay, then I’ll walk you home.”

“Steve,” you sigh.

“Please,” he whispers, “I won’t let you walk home by yourself anyway. So you either get in the car or you let me walk you home.”

Sighing, you tear your eyes away from his and look down, you nod, “okay, let’s walk then.”

You pull your hand out of his grip and turn around.

The road is illuminated by the street lights, the snow glitters beneath it, it crunches under your boots as you step on it. You’ve done this way too many times before but usually, you would walk hand in hand, you would steal kisses from him and he would pretend to be annoyed, now there is just distance and awkward silence between you both.

At this point, you don’t even know what you wanted to talk about.

You wanted answers but what are the questions?

Why did you fall out of love with me? But wait. He said that he fell out of love with you and the next day he said that he never loved you in the first place and now, two months later, he claims that he lied to you when he said that he never loved you – apparently he still loves you even though he is with her.

Why did you leave me for her?

What does she have that I don’t?

Why did you treat me like shit?

Why are you so good to her?

Why did you fall in love with her when you were supposed to love me?

“Why Nancy?”

Steve furrows his brows and looks at you in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s just, there have been so many girls that threw themselves at you but you never gave them the chance – at least, I hoped you didn’t.”

“I didn’t, y/n.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” you mutter under your breath, “you flirted with them and expected me to be okay with it but you would get mad whenever a guy even looked my way.”

If you would have had this conversation with him three months ago, he would have scoffed by now and either start a fight or kiss you to shut you up but now, he just stays calm and he looks at you with guilt in his eyes.

She changed him in just a few weeks.

“I know that it doesn’t mean much anymore but I never wanted any of them, those girls that I flirted with, I couldn’t give a shit about them,” he mumbles, rolling his eyes at his past behavior, “and to be honest, I didn’t do it to keep my reputation or whatever. I– god, that’s gonna sound so bad,” he pauses, he looks up into the sky and takes a deep breath before he looks back down at you, “I did it to see what you would do, I wanted to see if you would get jealous ‘cause sometimes I struggled to believe that you loved me – not that you ever gave me a reason to doubt you, it’s just, some things would just get into my head and I don’t know – you never got jealous, at least, it didn’t seem like you did. You would always be so calm, you rarely ever confronted me about it a-and I guess, I don’t know, I figured that you didn’t love me as much as I love you.”

You choose to ignore his last three words. You don’t know whether to scoff in disbelief or to laugh at his words. He must be joking, you think. But his face is serious and the look in his eyes is filled with nothing but honesty.

“Why would you think that?”

He shrugs, “‘cause I knew how I felt when a guy looked at you a certain way o-or when someone flirted with you – I felt like shit. I got so fucking jealous and angry and it made me want to rip my hair out.”

You can’t help but giggle at his words as you look at the seriousness in his face, “your beloved hair?”

His eyes light up when he hears your laugh, a smile tugs at his lips, “yeah, I’d rip my hair out for you.”

You snort and shake your head as you look back down. He keeps staring at you for a moment before he speaks up again, “but what I’m trying to say is, seeing you with someone else broke my heart–”

“But I wasn’t with anyone else, I was with you and I wanted it to stay that way, Steve.”

“I know, I know,” he mumbles, “I was so insecure and a part of me thought that I was losing you and that hurt and I knew how much it would hurt if I actually lost you, if you left me for someone else – if you broke my heart.”

So he broke yours first.

“Do you remember the party at my place, back in august?”

“Yeah, I remember it.”

Steve clears his throat and you glance at him, a frown takes over his face.

“After I saw you dance with Eddie last night, I remembered something.”

“What did you remember?”

“We got into a fight at that party because of Billy. He was flirting with you.”

Yeah, you remember that very well. You were dancing with your friends when Billy came up behind you, he grabbed your waist and before you could react, he pressed himself up against you. He whispered something in your ear and in that moment, Steve walked back into the room with a drink in his hand. He didn’t bother sticking around to see how you had pushed Billy away or how you slapped his cheek for touching you that way.

You and Steve had gotten into a huge fight that night – one that left you both in tears. He was the one who slammed the door in your face when he pushed you out of his room after you got sick of arguing with each other.

He stayed back in his room to calm down while you went downstairs and planned to go home when you bumped into Eddie. You didn’t realize that you had tears streaming down your face until he had asked you if you were okay. He pulled you into the kitchen, away from all the prying eyes.

Eddie had given you a shoulder to lean on that night. He could have easily ignored you, you weren’t friends, not at that time, at least. But he didn’t, he was there for you. He helped you wipe your tears away, gave you something to drink and managed to cheer you up.

“After we fought, I went downstairs to look for you, I wanted to apologize but then I saw you with him, with Eddie.”

You furrow your brows, “okay, and?”

“You were laughing with him like nothing ever happened, like we didn’t just get into a fight and I think that was the moment I figured that I wasn’t the one for you – ‘cause you were happy and smiling and I was fucking miserable and I couldn’t stand it so I drank until I passed out in the bathroom. I didn’t even remember that Eddie was the one you talked to when I woke up the next day, I just remembered seeing you with some guy.”

It would be a lie if you said that you aren’t shocked. You didn’t know how insecure he was. You always saw him as arrogant, confident and controlling. Not as insecure and scared.

“And uh to get back to your question. Nancy, she’s just, I don’t know,” he trails off.

Your heart begins to beat faster at the mention of her name. It takes you back to the night it all fell apart and to the day when he had confessed to you that he fell in love with her. You remember the pain, you remember all of it.

“You promised me, you told me that you would love me forever.”

“Did you really think that I meant that?”

“I didn’t, I-I’m not even sure if I ever loved you, y/n. I wouldn’t have fallen for her if I did love you, right?”

You can already feel the tears coming, just the memory of it all hurts you. You are scared to hear him tell you why he fell in love with her. Why you weren’t enough for him.

Why is he so speechless? You wonder as you look at him. His brows are furrowed in concentration.

Are there so many things that he loves about her that he doesn’t know where to start?

While you prepare for another heartbreak, Steve tries to think of what made him believe that he could ever love someone else the way he loves you. He didn’t fall in love with her. He never fell out of love with you. You were always the one. It’s simple.

But it’s not simple, because how can he explain any of this to you without sounding like a goddamn liar?

How can he explain to you that he broke your heart because he was scared that you would break his first?

How will he tell you that he only ever thought about you?

How can he look into your eyes and tell you that it made him feel sick to kiss her, to sleep with her and tell her that he loves her when all he ever wanted was you?

“Nancy, she just, she wanted me in the same way you did. My jealousy had gotten out of hand at that point and I was convinced that I was losing you so I uh, I convinced myself that I liked her too. That night at the Halloween party, I got drunk, blackout drunk. I thought it would be easier to break up with you that way.”

His words will hurt you more than he will ever know. Just the thought of him planning to break up with you hurts so bad. While you were lying in bed thinking about him with nothing but love in your heart, he was thinking about leaving you.

And all of this because he was convinced that he was losing you?

You never gave him a reason to think that. He had all your attention, your devotion, your love, your heart. He had it all. You gave him absolutely everything. You understand the insecurities and the jealousy and a part of you wants to believe his words but the other part can’t.

He loves her.

He changed for her not for you.

And now that he has changed, he must feel guilty for the way he treated you, for the things he said to you, for the way he broke your heart. He wants to make things better, he wants to make it up to you, to take your pain away.

He said that he had to convince himself that he loved her, now he is doing the same with you.

You are not angry at him, not anymore.

You are just hurt and heartbroken.

You love him and you always will.

Suddenly, you feel numb when you realize that he is still with her.

If he loves you then why is he still with her?

It was easy for him to leave you.

“Y/n?”

You hate this feeling. The numbness. You want it gone.

“Hey, y/n.” Steve says softly as he places his hand on your shoulder, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You blink and halt in your tracks, you were so wrapped up in your mind, you didn’t even notice that you were already in front of your house.You look at his hand before you look up at him. His hazel eyes are filled with worry.

“Are you okay?”

No. Of course you are not okay.

Your attention strays away from him when you hear the loud music from the house down the street. Jimmy Davidson is home for the holidays, his parents are gone this weekend, he already invited you to his ‘pre christmas party’.

An idea crosses your mind, you will probably come to regret it but right now, you don’t care.

“Hey, do you remember Jimmy, you know that super intimidating looking guy who’s actually really nice?”

Steve looks confused, his eyebrows are drawn together and he tilts his head at your question.

“Uh yeah, he was on the football team– why are we talking about him again?”

You hold your hand up and point your finger into the direction of his house, “he’s throwing a party, do you wanna go?”

He looks taken aback and still confused. You want to go to a party with him?

“I need a drink,” you mumble, “or two.”

Steve doesn’t know if that is a good idea and he doesn’t understand how you went from hating him to wanting a conversation with him to wanting to party with him but it’s not like he would say no to you. He will take any opportunity to spend time with you these days.

He looks down at you. You are waiting for him to say something. You have that look in your eyes that he always loved so much, the one you gave him when you wanted something.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

He wishes he could see the smile that you used to give him but instead he gets a nod before you turn around. He follows you, suddenly feeling the giddiness that he hasn’t felt in a long time. He is excited to spend time with you.

Two nights ago, he got drunk at a bar, thinking that he lost you forever. Now you are walking down the street together, your hand brushes against his and he fights the urge to just grab it.

While Steve feels hopeful, thinking that this could lead to a second chance. You feel sad because you know that this will be the last time.

You keep telling yourself that you have let go of him but you haven’t fully let go. You don’t just miss him as your boyfriend, you also miss him as your friend.

The music in Jimmy’s house is loud, you are surprised that the cops haven’t been called yet. The smell of liquor is strong. The hallway is crowded with groups of teenagers, you take a peek into the living room, it’s even more crowded. Jimmy kept his popularity going, even after leaving Hawkins for college.

You and Steve take your jackets off, he takes yours from your hand and hangs it up on the rack. You pull at your sleeves and step closer to him without realizing it.

“Yo, y/n!”

You turn your head to see Jimmy walking towards you and Steve, a red solo cup is in his hand. You can’t help but laugh when you see the ugly Christmas sweater and the Santa hat that he is wearing. He really stuck to the theme.

His eyes flash with surprise when he sees Steve.

“Harrington! Long time no see, man! How’s it going?” He asks and greets him with a handshake.

Steve smiles, “hey man.”

“I didn’t know you were still together,” he says as he points between the two of you.

“Oh, we aren’t–”

“Jimmy! Let’s go, man!” Some guy yells, waving him over, “I’m losing here!” He throws his hands up as he holds the ping pong in his hand.

“I’m coming!” Jimmy yells back causing you to cringe at the volume of his voice. He turns back to you, “get yourself some drinks, guys. We’ll catch up later!” He says to Steve before he looks at you and winks, “don’t have too much fun, lovebirds.”

Steve scratches the back of his neck while you roll your eyes.

You look at each other awkwardly at first but when another guy with a similar Christmas sweater as Jimmy walks past you, you can’t help but laugh as you share a glance.

You make your way into the kitchen. Steve follows close behind. You both notice the few curious glances that get thrown your way. You don’t recognize many people but there are definitely a few from Hawkins High around. You just hope that Heather and Chrissy aren’t here tonight.

Steve places his hand on the small of your back when you both walk into the kitchen. Your eyes land on the bottle on the counter, you instantly reach for the tequila bottle but before you can even think about pouring it into one of the small solo cups, Steve grabs your hand, stopping you.

Furrowing your brows, you look up at him.

“Are you sure about this?” He asks.

“Yeah,” you mumble, “we can just, I don’t know, we can just forget everything for tonight.”

Steve is surprised to hear these words coming from your mouth.

“We can just have fun, just like old times, when we were friends.”

He can hear the shakiness in your voice, he can see the vulnerability in your eyes that you have been hiding all this time. You were pretending to be okay after the breakup, you gave him the cold shoulder and acted like you moved on but you never did, he realized that after he tried to kiss you.

You never moved on and you are not as strong as you pretend to be. You are breaking a little more, everyday.

Just one last time. You think to yourself as you look into his eyes.

He nods, “yeah, okay.”

He reaches for the bottle in your hand, he grabs the cups and fills them with tequila. You both down the liquid in one go, cringing at the strong taste. Steve wipes his mouth, “god, that’s disgusting,” he mumbles.

You nod in agreement but reach for the bottle nonetheless, ignoring his disapproving look when you fill the cups again.

“You should take it slow–”

You shake your head, “no, I wanna get drunk.”

“Jesus,” he mumbles, knowing that you want to get rid of this awkwardness between the two of you by getting alcohol into your system. “Okay.” This isn’t a good idea, he knows it isn’t. This will only complicate things even more, yet he joins you and downs the second one as well.

You look into his eyes, it’s something you have always avoided since the breakup but now you look at him, you truly look at him and you get lost in his eyes. You feel the ache in your chest, the one that will never fade away.

You will never know how much he regrets it, how guilty he feels when he sees the pain in your eyes, the love that is still there. How could he be so stupid? How could he ever think that you would hurt him?

If he could turn back time, this would have never happened.

He could’ve pulled you into his arms right now, he would’ve kissed you and told you that he loves you.

You look down and lick your lips, you place the cup on the counter.

The house is filled with people, you hear different voices, laughter and loud music. You notice the stares and the curious glances. You feel someone brushing past you. Yet, it’s just you and him, right now.

“Come on,” he says as he holds his hand out for you, “let’s dance, like old times, right?”

You stare at his hand for a long moment before you decide to take it.

You don’t know how happy he is to feel your touch.

He doesn’t know how painful it is to you.

He leads you out of the kitchen, keeping a tight grip on your hand. He greets a few people from school, waving and smiling at some guys. You are just focused on his touch and the way it’s making you feel.

The way it makes your heartbeat speed up and the way it makes it hurt so horribly at the same time.

“Hey Steve, y/n!”

You both turn around, a guy from the basketball team is waving at you, “wanna play beer pong?”

Steve looks down at you and you shrug, “sure.”

It seems as though this night is full of bad ideas. First, you ended up on his doorsteps after telling him to leave you alone, then, you asked him to go to a party with you and now you are about to get plastered with the guy you shouldn’t even look at anymore.

But if there is anything that will kill this awkward tension between you two then it’s a game of beer pong and the two drunk jocks with the Santa hats.

The dining room is filled with people, just like the rest of the house. It smells like weed and beer in here – you could use some weed right now.

“Are you okay?” Steve asks as he leans closer. The smell of his cologne drives you insane.

He scans your face, he looks into your eyes and eyes the line between your eyebrows, he notes the tension, he wants to take it away so bad. A strand of hair falls in front of your face and before he can stop himself, he reaches out to tuck it behind your ear. You don’t move away, not this time.

You feel so stupid, so weak and pathetic for savoring the touch of the man who hurt you so badly.

The tension, the bad thoughts and the worries leave your mind after winning the first round of beer pong.

A few drinks in and all your sadness and the heartbreak is forgotten, temporarily.

Both of you forget everything.

Tonight, it’s just the two of you.

You both get drunker and drunker and more comfortable with each other with each round you win.

By the time you actually make it to the dance floor, you are both wasted. Stumbling and bumping into each other. Though you still keep the distance between you two. Your hands brush against each other and he ends up taking the risk and hooking his pinky around yours which you don’t seem to mind.

Steve feels the urge to do more, to wrap his arms around you and hold you. His heart longs for you, all of him longs for you. He gets so lost in your eyes, in you. He doesn’t notice anything around him, he only sees you.

You joke around like you used to, you hold onto each other like you used to, you smile and laugh and for the first time in a long time, you are both happy.

And of course, Billy Hargrove is the one who sees you two together. He smirks when he sees the way Steve looks at you, when he notices his hand sliding down your body, stopping just on the small of your back to pull you closer and to his surprise, you don’t even seem to mind. You must be drunk or on drugs, Billy thinks. There is no way you would let him touch you that way otherwise.

“Well, well, well.”

Billy raises his brows and glances down at the redhead by his side.

“Looks like the queen and king are back together.”

“Oh no, he is still with Nancy. They're sneaking around,” Tommy says as he leans against the wall next to him.

“Well what do they say about cheaters?” Carol smirks as she looks at the way Steve leans closer to you to whisper something in your ear.

“Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Tommy chuckles.

Billy takes a sip of his beer and shakes his head, “I thought she’s smarter than that.”

Carol and Tommy laugh at his words, “what’d you expect? She was always in love with him.”

“Yeah, poor little thing always followed him around like some lost puppy,” Carol mocks, twirling her hair with her finger. “I wish Nancy was here so she could see this,” she smirks as she watches Steve lead you away.

Steve plops down on the sofa and pulls you down with him. You lean your shoulder against his. Your head is spinning and your mouth feels dry.

“I haven’t had this much fun in a long time,” Steve says, he looks down at you. A fond expression takes over his face. Your hair is messy and your pupils are blown, you are breathing heavily, a small smile is pulling at your lips when you tilt your head to meet his eyes.

“Me neither.”

Steve smiles at you. His hand brushes against yours, the feeling of your skin against his makes his heart flutter in his chest. When he goes to wrap his hand around yours, to intertwine his fingers with yours, you seem to snap out of your trance. You break eye contact and cough as you straighten up.

Something about the way he looked at you made you sober up a little.

“I-I’m gonna go drink some water,” you mutter and push yourself up, “do you want something?”

He shakes his head.

He knows better than to follow you, he knows when you need space and right now, you need it, even if just for a moment. He watches you walk away, smiling when you look over your shoulder to glance at him.

He leans back against the soft cushions and looks around the crowded room. Right now, he feels content. You were an unexpected surprise this evening and he can’t help but bask in the feeling of being with you again.

Three nights ago, he thought he lost you forever but here you are, back with him.

Though he can’t shake the feeling that something is off about this night, he chooses to ignore it, not wanting to ruin it sooner than necessary.

A few minutes pass and there is no sight of you, he runs his fingers through his messy hair. He leans his elbows on his knees and looks around. He stares at the doorway, waiting for you to come through but you don’t.

He gets up and his stomach churns a little. He definitely drank way too much.

He pushes past a group of drunken boys and steps into the crowded hallway. A couple is making out against the wall, a girl is crying to her friends, a group of jocks are sitting on the stairs, laughing loudly.

He walks into the kitchen, the sight he is met with makes him freeze on the spot. You are standing with your back pressed against the kitchen island, a guy is towering over you. He is much taller than you, his shoulders are broad, it’s clear that he is working out.

His first reaction is to tense up and clench his jaw in anger. The sight of him smirking down at you makes his blood boil.

He sobers up quickly when he notices how tense you are, how your hands grip the counter tightly as you press yourself further against the counter to get away from him. You are uncomfortable and flinch away when he reaches out to touch your face.

All the jealousy fades away and anger takes over instead. He doesn’t hesitate to walk over and push the guy away from you. Your eyes are wide and filled with fear, you look at Steve and he instantly grabs your hand and pushes you behind him.

“Stay away from my girl.” He spits without even thinking.

The guy looks startled at first but he quickly relaxes and laughs. He looks Steve up and down before his attention goes back to you.

“Shit, I didn’t know she had a boyfriend.”

Steve can feel how scared you are, you grip his hand tightly with your shaky one and it only makes his anger worse.

“Even if she didn’t, you had no right to touch her like that, you fucking asshole.”

Your heartbeat picks up, fear rushes through you. You always hated when he got into fights.

The guy still looks at you, he eyes you up and down and it makes you shudder. It’s not the first time he’d done it.

“Steve.”

Steve is glaring at the guy in front of him, the urge to throw a punch is strong – a few months ago, he would’ve done it but protecting you and making sure that you feel comfortable is more important to him now.

“Sorry man, won’t happen again” he says but there is clearly no meaning behind his words, he chuckles and gives you both a mocking smile before he turns around to leave.

Steve takes a step forward to follow him but you pull him back, “please don’t.” You hold his hand even tighter and step in front of him.You are sober now and so is he. The night is over, almost. His hazel eyes are darker than usual, he looks mad. “Can we just go, please? I wanna go home.”

Your words and the panicked look on your face take him back to the night at the Halloween party – the way you begged for him to go home with you not knowing that moments later, he would break your heart.

You wear that same look on your face you did that night.

His eyes soften and his shoulders slump. He is not ready for this night to end but he nods. “Yeah, let’s go.”

He keeps on holding your hand and you don’t fight him. Your hand is still shaky. You are nervous and scared.

He only lets your hand go to help you put on your coat. You open the door and step out with your hands tucked in your pockets. His face falls a little but he doesn’t say anything. He follows you out and puts his jacket on once he’s outside. He shuts the door and just like that, it’s all back to the way it was before.

But he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want things to go back to the way they were before. He wants to keep you but he feels you slipping through his fingers just like you felt him slipping through your fingers, two months ago.

The snow is falling quietly and as you get further away from the party, you can hear the music less and less, only the silence of the night and your footsteps are heard.

“Are you okay?”

“What?”

“Are you okay after what happened in there?” He asks, “h-he didn’t do worse did he?”

“Oh,” you whisper and shake your head, “no – I mean, yes I’m okay and no, he didn’t do worse. I’m kinda used to it, it’s not the first time he did this.”

“Wait what?” He asks as the anger comes rushing back in.

You shrug, a sour expression appears on your face, “I mean, I haven’t seen him since Heather’s party back in september–”

“Back in– what? Y/n, that’s when we were still together! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” you mumble, “you were always focused on those girls and picking fights about stuff that wasn’t real so..”

He feels a flash of irritation and anger but also guilt and sadness. He made you think that he didn’t care about your safety and your wellbeing.

“Of course, I’d care.”

He hates the shift of energy between you two. He wants to go back to the party, he wants to live inside that bubble again, the one where you still like him.

“I’m so sorry, y/n.” He whispers knowing that you might not want to hear his apology. “I failed you, I failed us.” He thinks about his mother’s words, how she told him to fight for you and he wants to so bad but he doesn’t know how.

You stop in front of your house, the moment you have been dreading all night is finally here.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper, “I’m not angry at you anymore.”

You look at the way his expression changes.

“You’re not?”

By the tone of his voice, you know that he thinks that this must be a good sign.

You shake your head. The bile thickens in your throat and you already feel sick.

“No, I’m not.”

You are calm, your voice is soft and quiet and the look in your eyes makes him nervous. He stays silent for a moment. You stand beneath the night sky, the snow is falling and it reminds him of the night you have kissed for the first time, right here.

“I-I understand it now.”

He doesn’t know why but he can feel the fear rushing through him, that pit growing in his stomach.

“What do you understand?”

“Everything,” you whisper, “I wanted the truth and the other day you said that you weren't honest with me back then but you were. You really did leave me because you fell in love with her just like you had told me back then.”

He frowns at your words, he steps closer to you and he shakes his head.

Your eyes well up with tears, your bottom lip begins to quiver.

“And I-I think that you really love her because you wouldn’t have left me if you didn’t – no matter how scared you are, you don’t leave the person that you love for someone else, you don’t hurt the person you love. You would rather have your heart broken than break their heart,” you say as tears stream down your cheeks, “it was so easy for you to leave me but you can’t leave her, you are still with her because you can’t and you don't want to break her heart so that must mean something."

He shakes his head, “no,” he whispers.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper, brokenly. You look down and the tears slip from your face and down into the snow, “you changed a-and I can tell that you are trying to do better and that you want to make it up to me b-but I don’t want it, I don’t want you to think that you owe me anything. I-I just want you to know that it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad or guilty.”

He shakes his head again but he can’t form any words. His heart is racing in his chest, the fear is holding him tightly. His vision blurs, he can’t stand to see you cry.

“I love you, Steve and I think that I always will but we have to let each other go.”

His eyes widen with panic and he finally snaps out of it, he cups your cheeks and pulls you closer, “I love you too, y/n! I love you. I will leave her, I will!”

You shake your head, you raise your hands and grab his wrists as you look into his eyes.

You are both crying and it hurts so bad. It feels like your heart is being ripped apart.

“She is the one for you. You should be with her. I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”

Steve wants to say that you make him happy, that you are the one for him, that you are the one he loves but his words are strangled in his throat. Tears roll down his cheeks and his chest aches. He can see the pain in your eyes and the way you are suffering because of him.

He shakes his head, he is shaking, he is on the verge of breaking down, of falling to his knees and begging for a second chance. He leans his forehead against yours. He whispers your name so brokenly it makes you cry even harder.

“It’s okay, Steve,” you whisper and cup his cheeks, “I promise, it’s okay.”

He feels the warmth of your touch and the sound of your voice that makes his heart ache. He doesn’t want this to end, he doesn’t want to let you go, he doesn’t want to lose you.

“You can let me go, it’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad anymore.”

Steve feels like his chest is being ripped open, like his heart is getting torn out of his body.

You wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his chest, wanting to feel the warmth of his body, one last time. He doesn’t hesitate to pull you even tighter against him. He holds onto you for dear life, he buries his face in your neck, he breathes in your sweet scent.

Your broken heart is breaking more and more.

You close your eyes and you let yourself feel him, one last time.

You wish you wouldn’t have to do this.

You wish you could live in a world where he loves you, where you wouldn’t have to say goodbye.

You thought that it couldn’t get any worse after he dumped you and after he tried to kiss you but this is so much worse.

This is goodbye.

You stand beneath the falling snow just this time, he won’t pull you in for a first kiss, he won’t make you smile, he won’t pull you back for one more kiss before you walk into your house but he pulls you in for another hug when you try to walk away from him and this time, he holds you even tighter.

He wants to fight for you but how can he when you don’t want him to?

It hurts to hear him cry and it hurts to feel him hold you so tightly and it will hurt even more when you will see him with her again.

As much as it hurts, as much as you don’t want it, as wrong as it feels – you step away from him and you look at him, one last time. You can’t stand the tears that run down his cheeks. His large sad eyes will haunt you for the rest of your life.

You step away from him and it makes him cry even harder.

You have to go.

You need to go.

“Goodbye, Steve.”

He looks crestfallen and broken and it takes everything in you to turn away from him. You clutch your chest and walk away. You can hear his sniffles and before your heart can convince you to turn back around, you unlock the door and step inside. You shut it and press your back against the door. Finally, you let the sob break free as you fall to the ground. You bury your face in your hands and you cry, once again.

Now it’s truly over.

It’s all over and you don't even know that you are the one who is still holding his heart.

That you will always be the one.

next chapter

tagging friends & mutuals

@mysticmunson @wroteclassicaly @corrodedseraphine @corrodedcorpses @screammunson @hellfire--cult @taintedcigs @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint @take-everything-you-can @sherrylyn628 @somethingvicked @nemesis729

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fic #stranger things angst

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poison-ives777 · 1 year ago

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⚠️Ofmd S2 spoilers ahead⚠️

I’m just gonna say it:

Season 2 was painfully rushed. I didn’t wanna admit that fault, but it REALLY damaged the quality of the show. Part of what made S1 so great was watching the slow and steady character development and story arcs. We developed attachments to the characters because we saw them go through everything leading up to the end.

This entire season has had abrupt changes in character development (especially with Izzy. I love that they made him more human, but he went from masochistically devoted to Edward to terrified of Edward all within the span of a time jump we didn’t even see.)

Ed and Stede’s relationship shifts way too abruptly. And I know them taking it fast is part of their arc, but it still felt like they were just trying to move from arc to arc within the span of one episode each.

I also hate how none of the sideplots really tie into the story on a deeper level. (They have amazing parallels to S1, but aren’t great plot-wise.) Not to mention they almost completely abandoning the relationship they built between Olu and Jim. (I love the polyamory aspect, don’t get me wrong. And I love that they don’t blatantly explain the polyamory / tokenize it. But, the way Jim was willing to just give away Olu to Zheng in episode seven, even if they and Archie couldn’t go with him, made me upset. Not to mention that at times, it feels more like they’re trying to write off Jim and Olu as fwb, but that may just be me. And the two of them didn’t get a lot of screen time in general compared to season 1.)

The parallels to season 1 and overall symbolism were amazing, and I do still like this season overall. But it really is heartbreaking how Max sacrificed the show’s quality all for the sake of profit. I know David could have done much better with more resources.

The main reason this upsets me so much is because not only does it hurt on a personal level (damaging the quality of my comfort media), but it’s also the perfect representation of how streaming is KILLING the quality of TV. S1 was a masterpiece. The whole show is a masterpiece. But TV productions can only work with so much. And streaming services aren’t willing to accommodate to the demands necessary to make real art.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Be gay, do piracy 🏴‍☠️🍊🧜‍♂️(for legal reasons, don’t actually do piracy)

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adickaboutspoons · 1 year ago

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Fuck me, I have more to say about this moment:

And it's gonna get ugly, folks, so buckle in. As important as it is to understand this scene as a moment of Character Growth for Stede? It's also key to understanding Why Shit Went Down the way it did during the negotiation of the escape plan in Act of Grace. So Stede stands up for himself and draws some boundaries. Good for him! Love to see it. And how does Ed respond to "I don't like who you are around this guy?"

And what does he say when he chooses to leave with Jack?

It's a through-line. In this moment, Ed is calling back to the conversation on the beach. I don't think he is being intentionally cruel - to him, what he's saying is more of a reflection of his struggles with feelings of worthlessness - but how can Stede help but make the association; the ONE TIME he draws boundaries with Ed, Ed leaves. Not only does Ed choose to go, rather than stay and respect Stede's boundaries (which, I would argue are completely reasonable here; Don't wantonly kill innocent animals), he is aligning himself with the man that has spent the entire day tormenting Stede ("This" - Jack killing Karl - "is who I am"). Again, I'm not saying that he's being intentionally cruel; I don't think he fully understands how awful Jack has been to Stede. But, surely you can see how, from Stede's perspective, this is absolutely DEVASTATING - much more than JUST the heartbreak of the man that you had so recently made tentative plans to join your life with ("Co-Captains!") breaking up with you. But breaking up with you AND CHOOSING ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE YOU KNOW OVER YOU.

So now we come to the Act of Grace and the scene on the beach:

No, AFTER that.

Ed proposes a plan to run away together. And Stede... doesn't say yes. In fact, his first instinct is to push back, THREE TIMES.

"But you said there was no escape."

"What about the English? They'll be all over us."

"China? That's quite far away."

Every time Ed dismisses his concerns - comes up with a reason to make the plan A Thing. Ed is clearly not going to take "no" for an answer.

And what happened the last time Stede told him no?

Ed left.

Ed broke his heart.

Ed sided with the kind of person that validates Stede's every insecurity about not being enough.

So is it any wonder that Stede gives in? And not even with enthusiastic consent. With the most tepid positive-leaning neutral responses possible.

"Yeah."

"I think so."

"Mm-hm."

(Which is to say nothing about his body language - the incredulous-bordering-on-disgusted face he makes when he talks about China, his lips pressed together when he says "Mm-hm", the way he starts the conversation leaning in toward Ed, his body twisted toward him, but quickly shifts so his body is angled straight ahead with his head awkwardly twisted to the side to look at Ed)

The seeds of tragedy were planted when Ed left Stede. Because, by doing so, he accidentally reinforced a lifetime of Stede being taught that his wants and needs are secondary to those of others, and that acceptance is conditional on compliance.

#spicy takes that I won't at all come to regret #my modest contribution to fandom #ofmd #our flag means death

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piratefishmama · 1 year ago

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Fake it 'till you make it | Part 5

Eddie was almost half certain that he was either hallucinating, or still asleep and dreaming the whole thing. But Steve Harrington was in his living room, perusing the mug collection as if it were fine art or some shit, and he wasn’t there to buy drugs. The van had gotten uncomfortable pretty quickly after Eddie’s tragic realisation, and while his Uncle was definitely there, and giving Eddie a very obvious what the fuck Ed’s ‘look’ while he made them both coffee, Steve seemed pretty at ease in the place.

He didn’t look like he belonged in any way shape or form, with his mega-bucks hairstyle, the polo that probably cost more than Eddie was making per day on those dates, and the jeans that probably—okay he needed to stop pricing up what Steve was wearing.

Needed to stop making assumptions about him.

“You take sugar, kid?”

“Uh—yes! Yeah, uh, cream two sugars, please. Thank you.” If Steve noticed the surprise on Wayne’s face at the presence of manners well… he didn’t seem offended by it. in fact he was still pretty amazed by the mug collection. “Where’d you get all these?”

“Spent a few years’a my life as a long haul trucker before Ed’s landed on my doorstep back in the day, the road ain’t no place for a kid so I packed it in, but there’s always lil knick knacks in pit stops along the way, had people say they’d probably be worth somethin someday, bit‘a history an all that, but… that ain’t why I have em. Each one has a memory attached to it, makes somethin as mundane as a mug, precious.” Memories, the walls were littered with memories.

Such a small space packed with so much. So many little bits and bobs, clutter that told stories, personalities told by clutter.

Steve loved it. He found it… comforting.

Eddie couldn’t stop the foot he so ungracefully stuck into his mouth however with the quip “must seem messy to you, huh?” That wiped the smile right from Steve’s perfect face. Replaced it with a little frown of confusion.

“Hm? No… no, not at all, what? What makes you think that?”

“Well, I’ve seen your house dude, it’s looks straight out of a showroom or somethin.” Couldn’t take the foot out of the mouth now, best just chew on it until his uncle whacked him round the back of the head with a newspaper, hissing,

“Manners don’t cost nothin boy, I raised you better than to be a little shit to guests. The hell’s your problem?”

“I honestly have no idea.” Eddie didn’t even complain about the whack, it didn’t hurt, but it did dislodge the foot from his mouth, allowing him to level Steve and his confused face an apology “sorry man, I’m just…”

“Defensive?”

“Mmhm”

“S’fine, I get it.” And wasn’t that just fucking heartbreaking. Especially since he smiled so sweetly when Wayne gave him his own little steaming mug, it had mickey mouse on it. “For the record though, I like it. The collection I mean… I think I’d like something like this in my own house someday, just… memories everywhere… neither of my parents are big on collections, I think the only ones they have are my mom’s vinyl’s and my dad’s wine.”

“Your mom has vinyl’s?” The wine collection was predictable but vinyl’s?

“Mm, up in the attic, I’ll show you sometime.” He had a player in the sun room, could probably bring a few boxes down and let Eddie rifle through them someday, maybe even convince his mom to bring some of them with them to the chalet, Eddie might get a kick out of at least a few of the records in there. “If you still wanna be seen with me after all this” an if she wouldn’t take them, best get the idea that they could still be friends after it all out in the open!

Eddie wasn’t bad, and Dustin adored him, constantly trying to get him to give Eddie a chance, sneaky little shit setting this up, probably had ulterior motives, so… why not?

Eddie didn’t get a chance to answer though, although his mouth was open ready to speak, Wayne beat him to it. “Now, it’s none’a my business but… what do you mean by all this?” Leaving Steve awkwardly sipping his coffee, looking at Eddie over the rim of his cup in question. Was it okay? Would it be okay to talk about it?

“As much as I’d love to say, ‘Steve’s invited me somewhere for a week!’ and have that be totally believable and not cause you a stress aneurysm… Wayne’s cool, Steve, you good with me talking about it?” There was obvious hesitation, more strangers who knew the riskier it could be for him, but— he nodded. He’d trust Wayne, as insane as that was, he didn’t even know Wayne, but… the man gave off a weird kind of trustworthy energy. And Eddie vouched for him so, “You know how I do that whole… date thing to freak parents out for girls? Stevie here needs my services.”

“You aint plannin on doin what I think you’re doin, are you boy? Are you out of your damn mind? Do you know how danger—”

“It’s okay!” Steve blurted cutting off the expected worry rant “it’s safe, I promise, my parents are… well… they might seem really detached from reality but—you don’t know them. I recently realised that neither do I… he’s not… gonna be freaking them out either, he’s just… playing a part to get them off my back for a while… I’m uh… I’m—” he looked at Eddie, briefly but long enough to catch the little nod of encouragement. It was okay. It was safe. So far things had been fine for him coming out, so far he’d been okay, there’d been no danger, and maybe doing it so many times had made it easier or something because it just… came out “I’m bisexual, they know, and have been throwing both women, and men at me trying to get me to finally settle down with someone and… while I agree, that’d be nice… I would love to do that, i’m not jazzed about the quality of the people they’re throwing at me.”

“…Your parents. The Harringtons, rich folk. Those folks… they’re safe?”

“Apparently, my dad’s even restructuring his company values to include people like me, trying to make it a safer place for us, and this was before I told them.” Something he’d had no idea about, something that he couldn’t believe, hence why he kept bringing it up, it was insane to him, how little he actually knew his parents, how wrong he’d been about them.

How wrong everyone had been about them.

“His parents are takin him to this chalet in Canada next week, Steve thinks they’re gonna ambush him with some random person that he’ll have to spend a whole week avoiding, so… he’s hiring me to act as his boyfriend. That cool with you, Wayne?” He didn’t have to ask. Eddie was a grown adult, he could do whatever he wanted, go wherever he wanted, but… Wayne deserved to know.

“… Can I meet em before you go?”

“Of course!”

“Not a chance.”

The worst part was, they both spoke at once. And Steve’s very positive answer, happened to be louder.

Part 7

#PirateWrites #FakeItTillYouMakeItFiclet #Steddie #No Upside Down AU #Waaaaaaayne #i love wayne #Wayne deserves the world

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stonedcoldfoxtarot · 1 year ago

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Your Next Sexual Encounter (18+)

Pile 1 -> Pile 2

Pile 3 -> Pile 4

Deck Used: Erotic Tarot

Pile 1

WoF, 7oC, AoF, 4oF (rev), 3oS, KnoR, Empress, KoC, 10oF, 4oS, 10oC, 5oS, Hanged Man, QoS, 3oC, KnoF

Pile 1, you might come across someone randomly or unexpectedly, or you could go on a few casual dates through a dating app. Your social life may be buzzing with many choices, but you won't settle for just anyone. It takes more than sweet talk to get you into bed.

You'll be enjoying the dating scene and going out with multiple people, maybe even someone who is grounded and another who is passionate. You'll feel attracted to both of them, but you're holding back until you figure out who you want to commit to exclusively. Both individuals will desire both romantic and physical intimacy with you, and since the empress card appears between these options, I sense that starting a family or the desire for it could play a significant role in your decision-making process in the future.

Once you do make your choice, I feel the sexual encounter between you and your person will be very healing and therapeutic. You will both be recovering from past betrayal or heartbreak that left you feeling closed off to new love. However, once the two of you come together, you will each be able to lay all your cards on the table and ask for what you want both in sex and in love. Because of this, sex between you two will be intensely gratifying and fulfilling. You may decide to try some light kinks such as bondage, handcuffs or unusual positions, but you will both mainly focus on making the other person feel desired and at ease. One or both of you might love to talk dirty and this will drive the other person mad - making it hard for them to go slow or hold back. But in-between those moments, you will talk about the future of your connection and how much you are both ready to take the next step and see how things go. This will be a start to a beautiful long-term relationship.

Channelled Song: Hrs & Hrs by Muni Long

Pile 2

5oF, 6oS, Devil, Justice, 10oC, 3oF, 2oR, Empress, 6oC, Temperance, 4oS, AoF, Star, 6oF, 2oC

Pile 2, if this is someone you had a falling out with or recently split up with, they're coming back to show you how much you mean to them. They want to make things right and see if you guys can still patch things up in the bedroom like before. Despite the way things ended, they still feel that the spark and sexual chemistry between you is incredible. They truly feel that whatever caused the rift in the past will soon be a distant memory once you reignite things in the bedroom.

If either of you has felt ignored or left to deal with a broken heart, this person will go the extra mile to make things right. They will show you through their actions and how they care for your heart that they are ready to reconcile and be the person you need them to be. Once you are aware of their desires, it will make your climax together seem like the start of something new and beautiful.

Afterwards, they will express how much they regret taking you for granted or walking away in the past and will open up about their doubts from before. They see you as the most important person in their life and want it known that when it comes down to choosing between you and anyone else, there is absolutely no competition. After you guys hook up, they want to be with you forever.

Channelled Song: Thinking out Loud by Ed Sheeran

Pile 3

KnoR, WoF, 9oC, KnoF, Hanged Man, PoR, KoR, 2oC, 3oS (rev), 7oC, Death (rev), World

I sense that one of you is slow and methodical while the other is more wild and spontaneous, so there may be somewhat of a challenge to find a pace that works for both of you. However, despite your differences, you both will bond over your mutual desire to explore each other’s deepest sexual desires and naughty kinks.

Here, I see lots of foreplay, dirty talk, sex toys, bondage, mutual masterbation and roleplay. One person may enjoy sitting back and watching the other person dance or your partner might want you to dress up in lingerie and give them a lap dance until they c*m. Once you’re in the bedroom, you will both take turns being in control and bringing the other one to orgasm over and over again, no matter how long it takes.

Pile 3, feel free to express yourselves here without any need for impressing or proving anything to anyone. You will both come to each other as you are, ready to indulge in unbridled pleasure and release. With others, one or both of you may have felt they had to hold back in fear of being judged or laughed at, but with this person, you will be able to explore every fantasy in the comfort of each other’s arms. You will not only feel liberated and unrestricted, but also receive support and care on every level. Some of you may feel hesitant about exploring this connection at first, but there's no need to fear anything other than fear itself. Don't miss out on a wonderful experience that could come your way.

Channelled Song: Sex with Me by Rihanna

Pile 4

Empress (rev), KnoS (rev), 8oS, Lovers, QoS, 3oR, 4oS, 5oR, 6oC,7oF, 4oF, WoF, HM, Justice (rev), AoS, AoF

Pile 4, your next sexual encounter will most likely be with someone from the past. It's possible that you'll reconnect with someone you once deeply loved but had to walk away from because they couldn't commit. You got tired of being the only one putting effort into the relationship, so you withdrew your energy. Now, this person is feeling left out in the cold by you. They used to enjoy all the attention and affection you gave them, but now they realize that their player tactics and tired lies no longer work on you like before. They're finally seeing that you've caught onto their game.

Anyway, this person might suggest going on a vacation or a quick escape together, using the opportunity to mend things between you two. They'll want to share their feelings and set the mood with passionate sex, but you won't be as interested as they are. You'll still have a good time and enjoy yourself sexually, but if they bring up getting back together or taking things further, you will reject them and make it clear that you don't see a future with them anymore. You'll treat them like they deserve to be treated and then move on to the next person who catches your eye. You’ll feel like it’s what they deserve for how they treated you in the past and you won’t gaf how they feel about it now.

Channelled Song: I Hate U by SZA

Thanks for reading🔮✨

#pac reading #pick a card #pick a picture #intuitive readings #18+ tarot #18+ pac #pick a pile #tarot reading #pac #love reading #tarot #crush pick a card #love tarot reading #love pick a card #stonedcoldfoxtarot #Spotify

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galaxysupreme17 · 1 month ago

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Unbreakabe

Y/n = Your Name

AgathaRio x Daughter!reader

Trigger Warning!! This has talked of losing weight rapidly, EDs, and name-calling!!

The autumn chill had settled over Westview, and with it came the cozy routines that Agatha, Rio, and Y/n had come to cherish. But lately, things hadn’t felt right, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed by Agatha and Rio. Over the past two months, they’d observed subtle but concerning changes in Y/n. She’d been eating less at meals, her laughter had quieted, and her lively, vibrant presence had dulled. What worried them most, however, was how thin she’d become in such a short time.

One evening, as Y/n retreated to her room after barely picking at dinner, Rio and Agatha shared a long, concerned look.

"She’s been so quiet lately," Rio murmured, her hand resting gently on Agatha’s. “And she’s losing weight so fast…”

Agatha nodded, worry etched across her face. "I know. She says everything’s fine when I ask, but… there’s something more going on. She’s never been this withdrawn.”

Determined to help their daughter, they decided it was time to gently address the issue head-on. Agatha knocked on Y/n’s door, and they entered to find her bundled in her favorite hoodie, lying on her bed with a book in her hands.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Agatha greeted softly, taking a seat at the foot of the bed. Rio settled beside her, their faces warm but tinged with concern.

“Hey, Mama… Mom,” Y/n said, attempting a small smile.

Rio brushed a hand gently over her daughter’s arm. “We’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately, love.”

Y/n shifted, her eyes dropping to the bedspread. “I’m just tired. School’s been… a lot.”

“Is that all?” Agatha asked, her voice soft but persistent. “Y/n, we’re worried. You don’t seem to be eating much, and you’ve seemed a little quieter than usual.”

Y/n’s shoulders hunched, and for a long moment, she didn’t speak. Agatha and Rio waited patiently, sharing a glance before Rio softly added, “Whatever it is, we’re here to listen.”

With a shaky breath, Y/n finally looked up, her voice barely above a whisper. “It’s stupid… It’s just… there are these girls at school. They started making comments… about my weight and how I looked. It started small, but they wouldn’t stop. I thought it would die down, but…” Her voice trailed off as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Rio's face darkened. “What kind of things were they saying?”

Y/n hesitated, her eyes brimming with tears. “Just things like, ‘You’d look better if you lost a little weight,’ or, ‘Maybe if you were skinnier, you’d be pretty.’ They keep calling me things like ‘chubby’ and ‘heavy,’ and…” She took a shaky breath. “I thought maybe if I lost a little weight, they’d stop.”

Agatha's heart ached to hear this. She reached over and pulled Y/n into a hug. “Oh, honey… I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

Rio put a gentle hand on Y/n’s back, her voice firm. “No one gets to decide how you should look. Those girls have no right to make you feel anything less than wonderful, and we��ll help you work through this together.”

Y/n managed a weak nod, wiping her eyes. “I just wanted to fit in. But it’s hard.”

The next day, Agatha and Rio decided to pay a discreet visit to the high school just to ensure there were some adult eyes looking out for Y/n. As they walked the familiar hallways, they ran into Wanda, who had recently started as a guidance counselor at the school. She greeted them with a warm smile.

“Agatha, Rio! What brings you here?”

After a quick exchange, Rio explained, her voice edged with frustration, “Y/n’s been having some trouble with a few girls in her class. They’ve been bullying her about her weight. We wanted to check in and see if there’s anything we can do.”

Wanda’s expression darkened with understanding, her gaze filled with empathy. “I’m so sorry she’s been dealing with that. It’s not uncommon, but it’s always heartbreaking to hear. I’ll keep an eye on her and make sure she has a safe space to talk. I’ll also check if there have been any other issues.”

“Thank you, Wanda,” Agatha said, squeezing her friend’s hand. “It means so much.”

That evening, Agatha decided it was time to share a story with Y/n, hoping it would help her daughter see that she wasn’t alone. She found Y/n on the porch, wrapped in a blanket, staring out at the trees.

“Hey, darling,” Agatha said, sitting beside her.

Y/n looked up, managing a small smile. “Hey, Mama.”

After a moment of comfortable silence, Agatha began, her voice soft. “You know, when I was about your age, I went through something very similar. I wasn’t as… let’s say, polished as some of the other girls my age. I had my own way of doing things, and I got teased relentlessly for it. It made me feel small, and for a long time, I doubted myself.”

Y/n listened intently, her face full of curiosity.

“But I learned,” Agatha continued, “that the opinions of others don’t define who we are. Only we get to do that. I started to focus on the things I loved about myself—my magic, my knowledge, my humor—and slowly, the hurtful words lost their power. Those girls eventually moved on, but I was left with a stronger sense of who I was.”

Y/n took a deep breath, her eyes shimmering with emotion. “But it’s hard to just… ignore what they’re saying.”

“It is,” Agatha agreed, wrapping her arm around her. “But the more you remind yourself of your worth, the less power their words will have. You don’t have to change a thing about yourself for anyone else.”

Rio joined them on the porch, holding a mug of hot tea for Y/n. She handed it to her and sat down beside her, smiling warmly. “I think you’re perfect just the way you are. And trust me, there will always be people with something to say. It’s what we choose to believe about ourselves that matters.”

Y/n sipped her tea, a small, grateful smile forming on her lips. “Thanks, Mom. And thank you, Mama. I… I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Agatha and Rio exchanged a loving glance, their arms wrapped around their daughter.

In the following days, Y/n took her mother's advice to heart. It wasn’t easy, but slowly, she began to stand a little taller, to hold her head up a little higher. There were still moments when the whispers and glances from those girls stung, but Y/n found strength in the love and support she had at home.

One afternoon, as she walked down the school hallway, she noticed Wanda standing nearby, giving her a subtle nod of encouragement. Y/n felt a warmth settle in her chest—a reminder that she wasn’t alone. With a newfound sense of confidence, she continued walking, knowing she had people in her corner and the voices of her moms reminding her that she was enough, just as she was.

#AgathaRio x Daughter!reader #x reader #reader insert #agatha x daughter! reader #agatha all along #agatha x rio #rio vidal

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edandstede · 1 year ago

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racist fucks out here acting like ed is doomed to become abusive like his father, like he is a violent monster, as if his arc isn’t about learning that he isn’t a monster at all but just a man. how are you looking at ed accepting himself, overcoming feeling like he’s the literal kraken, that he’s loveable and worthy of compassion and kindness even when he thinks the worst of himself, and drawing the conclusion that he’s an irredeemable thug - which is, by the way, what every fucking villain and antagonist thinks of him. you’re aligning your view of him with the bad guys, y’know, the ones who call him a donkey, low-born, and try goading him into violence over and over again because they think that’s all he’s worth? and yeah that includes izzy, because he did that too, it’s 90% of what he fucking did, treating him like he only deserved to live if he was performing hyper masculinity the entire time and the second he stopped he was worse than dead.

we are supposed to feel sorry for ed. the way he feels is heartbreaking. he was abandoned, had his worst fears confirmed to him by stede leaving and izzy pressing on the wound in the worst possible way, and then he fell completely into depression and suicidal ideation. he thinks it’s all he’s good for. he can’t be loved, he hates himself, he’s just the dick who killed his dad and nobody wants him for him. how can you see this very obvious spelled-out agony in him and say “hey, that guy is gonna abuse the man he loves, he’s an abuser just like his dad” you guys are just absolute bottom of the barrel scumbag dickheads, you really really are. you could not be more blatantly racist. you know damn well the show is not saying what you’re claiming it is.

also, insisting that he would ever hurt stede is just completely ignoring every single fucking thing about him. ed would never. the only fucking time stede is physically hurt by ed is when he wakes up from literal death and headbutts him. that’s it. i think we can all agree he didn’t even know what planet he was on when that occurred, and he petulantly says “good it was supposed to hurt” during a squabble that ends with stede telling ed he loves everything about him. pull the other one if you think this was ever framed as ed seriously wanting to hurt stede and not an incredibly hurt and vulnerable man still acting on a half-dead brain.

like for fuck’s sake this is the same man who hides under stede’s robe and presses his head to stede’s hand when he cries after telling him - the only person he has EVER TOLD - about killing his dad. he tells stede about the plot to kill him, and he cannot do it. he can’t lift a finger to him, he never would. he holds stede’s face with both hands when he kisses him and tells him he loves him. he brings him breakfast with a bit of twine on ‘cause he panicked and thought it needed a flourish. he rubs stede’s cashmere against his cheek. the first thing he says makes his life worth living is warmth. he imagines stede with a big goofy sweet grin and gold sparkly goldfish tail coming to save his life. he just wants to retire and have his inn with the man he loves and not worry about stede ever being in a near-death situation again. he wants stede to be safe with him. at no point are we remotely told in the text that we should be genuinely worried ed will ever, ever physically hurt stede. he protects this man with his WHOLE BODY twice and signs an act of grace to avoid him being shot. he tries to get ned to leave him alone when they’re being tortured. he jumps off the boat with jack to swim back to him and he rows back to the republic to find stede too.

he loves stede, would never hurt him, and you’re all just fucking sour your fav died and you’re saying any old shite as a result. swear to god if i catch one more of you even so much as insinuating ed is abusive i’m gonna start lobbing off toes as well.

#i’m mad #so help me if the izzy apologists find this I’M going to become monstrous #quill to paper

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follows-the-bees · 1 year ago

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Let's talk about "doggy heaven" and "he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying."

This is the moment that Izzy realizes that he doesn't know Ed the best. That Ed and Stede talked about everything, that Ed trusted Stede beyond Izzy's imagination. He always felt like he knew Ed the best. He fell in love with Blackbeard, with the persona of Blackbeard, with being first mate to Blackbeard. He was above the crew and always by Ed's side no matter what. Even when he calls Ed crazy and when he turns toxic. He fed Blackbeard.

But Izzy realized that Ed as the Kraken was too much. That his love for Ed was not returned the way he wanted, that the man he loved was no longer there. And the crew come to him, comfort him. And Izzy switches sides, he is now on the side of the crew. (And possibly first mate to Stede in the future.)

This moment when Izzy and Stede talk for the first time one-on-one is when the illusion drops again. And Con conveys it so well. The realization, the heartbreak, the bafflement.

Izzy tried to explain to Stede how far gone Ed was, but Stede replies with wisdom. "He was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying." And Izzy stops trying to explain, switches tones and tactics. He realizes that Stede (to a certain extent) does understand.

Then when Izzy finally tells him the partial truth of what happened, he doesn't get yelled at; instead Stede responds with "you sent him to doggy heaven."

To Stede, this is an innocent statement. It's him using what he thinks is a pirate term, but to Izzy. To Izzy, it's the fucking world crashing. And Con's performance is beautiful.

Because this can mean two things. One, Izzy realizing and semi dealing with what happened. That they supposedly put Ed down. But he knows he can't do that, says it aloud. Two, that Stede understands what and why it happened.

But it also is the moment Izzy realizes that Stede actually knows Ed. That Ed talked to Stede, trusted him, even more than he trusted Izzy. Stede knows the term, so he knows the plan to kill him.

There is the underlying story of the truth of the kraken, that Izzy doesn't know, but the audience does and makes that connection.

Izzy has to reassess everything that he's thought, that happened not only over the past months but years, decades.

And then in the jail cell, he still provokes Stede. Probably from his own guilt and this realization of how well Stede knew Ed & how he (Izzy) ultimately didn't know as much. Wasn't allowed to those recesses of Ed's mind and feelings.

But instead of anger, or Stede talking a lot, he gets silence, and a look of heartbreak. Izzy can't hold back tears.

Then Stede comes back, with a plan to save the crew. Unlike Ed, Stede is holding it together, he is putting the crew first. A thing that Izzy just learned to do in many ways. And Stede's plan works, the crew escapes, and that includes Izzy.

He sees the real Stede now, not the threat to his way of life, to the person he loves, but the Stede that Ed and the crew have defended, saved, trust. Stede changed all of them into better people. People that talked to Izzy, hugged him, comforted him, didn't kill him but kept him hidden and alive.

And Izzy tries to thank Stede (at the worst time of course) but season one Izzy would have never done that.

Izzy is part of the crew now with Stede as the captain.

He had to learn so much in such a short conversation.

Izzy couldn't save Ed, not alone, Izzy's love was based on a facade, and that fed toxicity.

But Stede will save Ed. Can save Ed. Because Stede was privy to the real Ed coming out from the Blackbeard facade. To sides of him Izzy could never see.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #our flag means death s2 spoilers #stede bonnet #ofmd stede #ofmd edward teach #izzy hands #gentlebeard #ofmd season two meta analysis #ofmd meta #izzy hands meta

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stephstars08 · 1 year ago

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Happier

Ethan Landry x Reader

Warnings: Jealousy, Adult Language, Sexual Themes & References, ANGST, Heartbreaking Breakup, Depression, Alcohol, Reader gets cheated on, Fluff, Mention of Violence, Arguing, Suspicion, and Maybe some Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any)

Summary: Ethan and Y/N have been together for almost two years, but when Ethan’s jealousy finally pushes Y/N over the edge she breaks up with him and moves on from to some else so quickly. Ethan becomes heartbroken because when he first sees that Y/N has moved on, he thinks she looks happier with the new guy than she was with him.

Inspired Song: Happier by Ed Sheeran

Word Count: 2,277

Ethan was sitting in his shared apartment. He was sitting on his couch running both of his hands through his brunette curls. He just got into another fight with his girlfriend Y/N. About a month ago Y/N met this other guy who works at the same café she works at that is on their college campus. Ever since the first day Ethan saw Y/N with him he instantly became jealous. Ethan noticed the way that asshole looks at his girlfriend. He knew that guy wants to get into Y/N’s pants so bad. But every time he mentions it to her, she always says the same thing. They are just friends and that’s it. Ethan has been with Y/N for almost two years, so he has no reason to be suspicious.

The couple was sitting in the living room doing their annual study date when Y/N got a text from her co-worker that set Ethan off. The fight got so heated Y/N threw her textbook down onto the carpet floor and went into Ethan’s bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Ethan could hear Y/N’s sobs coming from his room. It makes his heart ache to hear her cry. It hurts even more because he’s the one that is making her cry. No matter how many times she tells him he has nothing to worry about his jealousy just takes over.

Ethan took his hands out of his hair and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Once he felt like his jealousy was out of his body he stood up and walked to his bedroom. He quietly opened the door to see Y/N sitting on the end of his bed crying into her hands. Ethan walked over to her and sat down next to her. “Y/N.” Ethan said in a soft tone. She scooted away from him without saying a word to him or looking at him. “Y/N, please talk to me.” Ethan said in a pleading tone. “What’s the fucking point!” Y/N snapped in frustration in her voice as she removed her hands off her face. “According to you every word that comes out of my mouth is a fucking lie to you!” Y/N hissed as avoided eye contact with him as tears continued to fall down her cheeks. “Y/N, I’m so sorry.” Ethan told her. He went to take her hand, but she stood up. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.” Y/N said walking out of the room. What she just said made Ethan’s heart drop to the floor.

He quickly stood up and walked back into the living room. Y/N just got done putting all her stuff back into her bag. When she stood up Ethan grabbed her arm before she could grab her bag off the floor. “Y/N, please stay.” Ethan said as tears started to fill his brown eyes. “Ethan, I can’t deal with you accusing me of cheating on you anymore.” Y/N told him as she tried to keep herself calm. “I fucked this up, didn’t I?” Ethan said knowing that this there isn’t anything he can say or do to make her stay. He pushed her over the edge. “I think you know the answer to that.” Y/N said getting out of his grip.

She grabbed her bag off the floor and walked over to the door. She didn’t even take a glance back at him. She walked out of the apartment and just let the door close on its own.

********************

Two weeks have passed since Y/N broke up with Ethan. It took everything in her to walk out of that apartment, but she had to do it. She can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust her. As much as she loves Ethan, if there is no trust, she can’t be with him. The first two days Y/N didn’t get out of her bed. If she didn’t have Tara and Mindy, she would most likely still be in her bed.

Y/N and Tara just got done with their first class of the day, so they decided to go to the café Y/N works at to grab something to eat before they have to be at their next class. After they got their food, they picked a table to sit at. Y/N forgot napkins, so she set her food down and walked over to where the napkins were and bumped into the guy that Ethan got so jealous of. She didn’t even know that he was working. “Hey, Frankie.” Y/N said with a kind smile. “Hey, how have you been since the breakup?” Frankie asked her with concern in his blue eyes. “I’ve been doing better than I was. It’s a good thing that I have Tara and Mindy because if I didn’t, I would still be in my bed all crawled up into a ball.” Y/N told him.

“Listen, I know that it’s only been two weeks, but I’ve had this huge crush on you, so I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime.” Frankie said in a curious tone which made Y/N’s heart rate speed up. “Oh, I don’t know.” Y/N said unsure if she’s ready to date someone so quickly. “Please Y/N. Just give me one chance.” Frankie said looking at her with pleading eyes. For some reason, Y/N couldn’t say no. “Okay, it does sound like it would be fun.” Y/N said with a nod. One date with Frankie won’t hurt. To be honest, she does need to get out. “Awesome, is tomorrow night good?” Frankie said with a smile. “Yeah, just text me the details.” Y/N told him. “Sounds good. See you tomorrow.” Frankie said with wink and walked away so he could get back to work. Y/N grabbed some napkins and walked back over to the table Tara was at.

“Hey, what were you talking to Frankie about?” Tara asked in a curious tone. “We’re going on a date tomorrow night.” Y/N told her as she sat down. Tara stared at her with wide eyes. “What?” Y/N asked her putting the napkins down next to her food. “Don’t you think it’s early?” Tara said to her in a soft voice. Y/N thought about it, but shook her head no. “But Y/N, it’s only been two weeks. You and Ethan were together for almost two years.” Tara told her which made Y/N let out a sigh of frustration. “It’s my life Tara!” Y/N told her in a stern tone. “It’s time for me to move on with my life.” She added. “But Y/N- “Tara started but Y/N cut her off right away. “Enough Tara! My mind is made up and I’m done talking about it!” Y/N told her in a snappy tone. Tara saw the stern look in Y/N’s eyes, but she also saw sadness in her eyes as well.

Tara knows Y/N is still not over Ethan and she wants to talk her out of going on this date with Frankie, but she knows that Y/N is stubborn so she’s not going to change her mind. “Okay, you’re right.” Tara said with a nod. “If you want, Mindy and I can come over to your place and help you get ready for the date.” She offered. “Thanks, I’d really like that.” Y/N said with a soft smile.

********************

It was the next night and Chad finally got Ethan to come out of the apartment for a night out. Ever since the breakup the only time Ethan comes out of the apartment is to go to his classes. It took everything in Chad to finally convince Ethan to come out with him for a guy’s night out. All Ethan can think about was what Y/N said to him that night before she walked the door. He wishes he ran after her, but the guilt took over his body.

Ethan was walking down the sidewalk listening to Chad babble about something till he came to an abrupt stop. “What the fuck!” Ethan hissed. “What’s wro- “Chad started to say but cut himself off when he saw what Ethan saw. “Oh shit.” Chad said. In the restaurant across the street through the window there was Y/N sitting at a table with Frankie. Ethan felt like someone just stabbed him in the heart. It’s only been two weeks since the breakup and she’s already on a date with the asshole that caused the breakup. Ethan’s jealousy quickly rose in his body, but so did sadness.

He noticed the happiness in Y/N’s eyes. Ethan hasn’t seen her this happy in a long time and it was breaking his heart that it was a different guy making her happy. Ethan felt his heart sink when Y/N laughed at whatever the fuck Frankie just said to her. He wishes he was the one making her laugh. He used to be the one making her laugh. “Listen Ethan I- “Chad started to say but Ethan cut him off. “Don’t!” Ethan hissed looking away from Y/N. “Let’s just go.” Ethan said and walked away. Chad let out a sigh and followed him.

********************

A week has passed, and Y/N is still with Frankie. The first date turned out so well she decided to keep seeing him. Y/N was at a frat party with Frankie. Tara was at the party with Chad while Mindy was there with her girlfriend, Anika. Ethan wasn’t at the party which did feel strange for Y/N since this is the first party, she is at without him by her side. Y/N isn’t the biggest party girl, but she didn’t mind coming to them with Ethan since he made her feel safe and comfortable. She knew that no one was going to try and make her do something she didn’t want to do with him by her side.

Y/N was downstairs in the frat house talking to Tara and Chad. Frankie was with her but went to bathroom which was thirty minutes ago. “I’m going to go check on Frankie.” Y/N told her friends. She made her way through the crowd to get to the stairs. She walked up the steps and walked to the bathroom where before she even knocked on the door, she heard a girl moaning. “Frankie!” Y/N called out as she knocked on the door. “Shit!” She heard Frankie hiss which broke her heart. He was in there fucking another girl. That’s why he was taking so fucking long. “You know what, finish what you’re doing because we are fucking done!” Y/N called out before he could say anything as tears started to form in her eyes.

********************

Ethan was sitting in the living room of his shared apartment. He was drinking whisky and trying to focus on the movie he was watching, but the only thing that was on his mind was her. He was hoping the whiskey would numb the pain, but it wasn’t. He was going to go the frat party, but he couldn’t see Y/N with Frankie. He knew if he went, he would’ve end up doing something that would make Y/N even more upset with him.

Ethan was about to pour some more whiskey into his cup when there was a knock at the door which made him groan. Ethan stood up and walked over to the door. When he opened the door, he was shocked to see Y/N standing there. He could tell that’s she’s been crying. “Y/N.” Ethan said in a soft voice. “Can I come in?” Y/N asked looking up into his brown eyes with glossy eyes. “Yeah.” Ethan said with a nod as he stepped to the side so she could walk inside the apartment. “Thanks.” Y/N said walking past him and straight over to the couch. “Do you want me to get you some- “Ethan started as he shut the door but stopped when he turned around to see Y/N sitting on the couch drinking the whiskey right out of the bottle.

Ethan walked back over to the couch and sat down next to her. He picked up the remote and turned the tv off. Y/N hissed as she put the bottle of whiskey back down onto the table. Because she drank so much of it in one ship, it burned her throat. “Why aren’t you at the party?” Ethan asked her which made her do a heavy sigh. “You were right about Frankie.” Y/N started. “I guess since I haven’t let him get into my pants, yet he decided to go get into some other girl’s pants.” Y/N said avoiding his eyes. “Shit, Y/N I’m sorry that happened.” Ethan told her. He really wanted to go to that party and beat the shit out of Frankie, but he knew he needed to stay with Y/N because of the current state she’s in. She just had her heart broken twice in just three weeks.

“Have you told the girls and Chad yet?” Ethan asked which earned Y/N to shake her head no. “I thought it would be better to come to you first.” Y/N said looking up at him. “Really?” Ethan asked as he stared into her beautiful eyes that reminded him of diamonds. “I guess I knew that if Frankie hurt me, I could come back to you.” Y/N told him. “You’re right about that beautiful.” Ethan said using his hand to push some of her hair out of the way of her face.

“You’ll always be my girl.” He told her cupping her cheek and stoked it gently with his thumb. “I love the sound of that.” Y/N said as her lips curved up into a smile. Ethan smiled back as he leaned in a connect his lips with hers.

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goayda · 1 month ago

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The Secret

So what if… in a Steddyhands AU where everything is FINALLY going well between them, Izzy realizes that he is pregnant and he feels... actually sad, because he is sure it’s not going to last because, c’mon, he is too old for this, even if their lives are much easier now. So he doesn’t say anything to anybody because why make them worry about it? The ‘issue’ will surely disappear soon anyway.

But weeks go by and he is just starting to show and Izzy panics because he still thinks it’s not going to go to term, but soon it will be impossible to blame the roundness on too many of Roach’s cakes and he doesn’t want Ed and Stede to get excited about a baby and then see their disappointment and their heartbreak when everything ends too soon.

So Izzy lies and tells them he needs to go to land alone to attend to some personal matters about a long-distant relative and it sounds like bullshit so Stede and Ed keep asking questions and try to convince him to let them go with him, but Izzy doesn’t budge. So he promises everything will be fine and that he will be back ‘soon’ and without telling anybody, he goes to Jackie’s because she is the only one he can trust with this.

And weeks go by and Stede and Ed receive a few letters from Izzy via Karl saying things are going well, not to worry, that he still needs a bit more time on land.

And they do worry, of course, but there isn’t much they can do since they don’t even know where Izzy is. So they just keep waiting.

Then one day Karl brings a letter signed by Jackie simply saying: The baby is coming, get your arses here right now.

It’s very confusing and for a moment they think that maybe Jackie was trying to reach somebody else, but then Buttons says that no, she is probably just talking about Izzy’s baby and... chaos ensues.

So apparently Buttons had been getting updates on Izzy’s pregnancy from Karl, but he had said nothing because, well, it was not his secret to tell and Ed and Stede can understand and respect that, but Stede has to physically restrain Ed for a while to stop him from strangling the man.

Then the crew and the captains throw overboard anything not essential to reach port as fast as possible and they make it there in record time.

And despite Stede’s calming efforts Ed is ready to yell at Iz for hiding this from them, but when they get to Jackie’s, Izzy is in bed, looking exhausted but happy and holding a tiny baby in his arms. And the baby has Ed’s hair and Stede’s eyes, which doesn’t make sense, but who the fuck cares.

So there is no yelling, but there is a lot of happy crying then.

#steddyhands #pregnant Izzy!#izzy hands #stede bonnet #edward teach #this came out of nowhere #it was supposed to be like 3 paragraphs #why do it always end up being about 500 words?#short fanfic #ofmd #our flag means death #lets say izzy is slightly younger in this #or just close your eyes and ignore the issue completely

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 8 months ago

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If you're still doing 1k prompts.

Maybe one after Izzys death. After Stede takes him back to the captains quarters Ed breaks down again, and tells Stede the crew probably wishes it was him instead of Izzy. Then after an exhausted Ed falls asleep in his arms Stede reluctantly leaves him and goes to talk to the crew, who decide to do something special for Ed to show him that Izzy was right that Ed's their family and they love him.

Thanks so much for this prompt! Heartbreaking stuff.

(Always feel free to send me prompts for 1k word fics!)

“There we are, sweet man, you’re doing great.”

Ed just rested his head on Stede’s shoulder, letting Stede hold him up as he gently peeled off the blood-stained uniform shirt. He’d stopped crying, for now, and that was a win.

Ed was shaking, still, teary-eyed, and Stede had just a moment of doubt. Ed was probably really happy to be stuck getting comfort from the guy whose plan was the reason everything went south -

Stede cut himself off. It wasn’t like it was his fault Izzy sucked shit at checking hostages for weapons, now, was it?

That thought was probably not one Ed would find funny at the moment. Regardless, Stede knew his Ed, and he knew what he could do for him, and his world narrowed to the things he could do to help his boyfriend feel better.

He helped Ed get clean with a washcloth, wiping dried blood from his hands, and got him changed into a soft nightgown, telling him how well he was doing all the while. Ed mostly just sniffled, but he squeezed Stede’s fingers, leaned over so Stede could kiss his cheek. Stede spritzed Ed’s hair with the bottle of freshwater they kept in the bathroom and brushed it through with some coconut oil - Ed hated what the salty sea air could do to his hair, and helping him take care of it was a way Stede could keep him comfortable and make sure he felt loved.

Ed mumbled something as Stede held him on the bed, using a damp cloth to clean his hands better, scrubbing the dried blood out from under his fingernails. His face was tucked pretty tight into Stede’s chest, so Stede hadn’t been able to make it out.

“What’s that, love?” He kissed Ed’s forehead, encouraging him to stop hiding his face.

Ed looked up, his eyes teary again, and his lip wobbled. “D’you think they wish it was me instead?”

Stede frowned. “What -”

“The crew.” Ed’s lip trembled a bit harder, and he pursed his lips to try and keep it under control. “They - they liked him more than me, they hate me -”

“Ed, honey, no -”

“They wish it was me instead, Stede, I know they do,” Ed said, his voice breaking off into a sob, and Stede barely had time to blink before Ed was wrapping his arms around his chest and holding him close as he wailed.

It was the helplessness Stede hated the most, he thought, to be holding Ed and trying desperately to comfort him, and not being able to calm him. Every time he tried to reassure him that the crew did love him, Ed only cried harder, shaking his head, his breath hitching with broken sobs.

All Stede could do, really, was hold Ed close and rock him gently in his arms as he cried himself to sleep, too exhausted and raw to talk.

This would not do.

Slowly, being careful not to wake him, Stede gently moved Ed onto the bed, getting him tucked up under the covers. He kissed Ed’s tear-streaked cheek, his heart warming at the way Ed’s expression relaxed slightly, before heading back up on deck.

Fang found him as he was tossing the bloodied English uniform off the ship. He didn’t think Ed would ever want to look at it again.

“Hey,” Fang said softly. “How is he?”

“Not great, to tell you the truth.” Stede sighed down at the ripple as the uniform sank. “I was actually thinking that it might be nice to have a bit of crew appreciation for him, he’s had a very rough go of it lately, and he says he’s worried that some people might be mad it was Izzy instead of him -”

Fang barely had time to gasp before Frenchie’s head popped around the corner.

“I hear that right?” Frenchie gasped. “Eddie’s worried we’re mad he didn’t die? Oh, no way, that’s not on.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Stede began, and he was left to just follow along as Fang and Frenchie streaked off.

In the end, Stede barely needed to contribute anything. The crew came up with it all themselves.

When Ed woke up the next morning, after a cuddle and promises that Stede wasn’t mad, not at all, about all the crying, they came out of the cabin to find cake for breakfast.

“Aww, fuck yeah,” Ed said, giving the crew a weak smile as Jim handed him his slice. “I love orange cake, Roach, really. You always get the texture just immaculate.”

That was just Ed, Stede thought with a smile. Even when he was having such a hard time, he was doing his absolute best to find an enthusiastic compliment.

“We made you somethin’,” Jim said very loudly, prompting Frenchie to groan at how they ruined the surprise, man, where’s your sense of theatrics.

The card made Ed cry again, but in a very good way.

The crew had debated for a while on what it should say, but Stede thought the simple we’re glad you’re alive! got the job done just fine.

Most of the crew had instructed Lucius to draw them around the smiling Ed at the center of the picture doing something Ed taught them, or that they did together. Roach bringing some adventurous new recipe for Ed to taste-test, Jim tying a cool rigging knot, Pete doing a backflip (Stede found that one a bit far-fetched)...

“Thank you guys,” Ed said, wiping his eyes, clutching the card to his chest. “I, uh… it means a lot.”

“Sappy bastard.” Archie affectionately whacked Ed’s shoulder. “We love you, too. Dickhead.”

Stede didn’t think that either he or Ed had ever thought they’d be part of a community where they were really, truly loved, where you could count on everyone to support each other, let alone expected they’d help foster that community. Now, getting to watch Ed receive that love, to feel safe to accept it -

It was the best gift he thought he’d ever received.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my fics

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triflesandparsnips · 1 year ago

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So I was, as per normal, thinking again about Stede just collapsing into the cabin-kiss, and like-- we talk a lot about how Stede had just killed a guy, he was maybe not in the best headspace for sexy times, but--

in looking around for a kiss gif (AS PER NORMAL), I saw this one too:

...and I've been wondering and wondering about that face, right? Stede's face. A bit silly, kind of the embodiment of "smiling helplessly", a phrase that sounds bad out of context but usually appears when someone is just absolutely delighted by the existence of something-- or someone-- doing something ridiculous and amazing...

And it occurred to me that: Stede went to hide in his room so he could freak out, right? He's used to hiding, or trying to hide, how he feels when it comes to the childhood trauma stuff. And he's used to literally hiding in his cabin unless/until someone approaches that he has to mask back up for-- we see that all the way back in the very first episode of season 1.

But that night? The person who approached was Ed.

And not there asking him to be 'the captain'. Not telling him to 'man up' about the killing thing. Not even asking him to be the Romantic Lead or the Lost Love Return'd, roles Stede had been eager and wanting to play but just. not right now.

It could've gone wrong. Stede didn't say "come in"-- he didn't say anything at all, just opened the door, maybe expecting-- god, what he's gotten before, every single other time his entire life--

And Ed... changes the script.

He doesn't step in, doesn't break Stede's boundary, doesn't ask for anything from Stede. He just wants to see if Stede's okay. And more than that: By providing his own feelings about killing his dad, he's letting Stede know that, for the record? Stede doesn't have to be okay.

So... so for maybe the first time that Stede can remember-- or at least maybe the first time we see on-screen-- Stede is hurting, and. And someone comes to comfort him.

No ulterior motives. No quid pro quo. No requirement that he feel one way or another, be this or that kind of person.

Someone-- no, not just someone, Ed, who knows Stede, who's seen him and understood him and could ask so much from Stede if he wanted to-- just sees that he's hurting, and wants to help.

And like-- have you ever felt that kind of kindness? It's heady enough when it's a stranger. But when it's someone you know, someone you care about, someone you trust (hope, pray that you can trust) to hold the delicate, vulnerable heart of you--

Fuck, okay, that face, that silly face, that face that says nothing but looks like it's about to cry and to laugh and it's heartbreak for the past that never felt that kind of comfort and wonder for the person who made it possible in the present and it all adds up to just smiling helplessly--

Listen.

They say that in musicals, songs happen when a character's feelings are too strong for mere dialogue to contain.

I say that in this moment, Stede's actions aren't because he's addled from the kill, but because his feelings-- what love can mean beyond "romance", what it does, what it gives, what it allows, what it makes possible-- rise up and over and wash his hands against Ed's jacket and twist them both to the wall, and then, and then--

just collapse him into that warm embrace, where all the hundred thousand words he could try to find to explain what this love feels like can, for a short while at least, be transmuted into a form that can say them all at once.

#our flag means death #our flag means death s2 #kisses #and how to feel about them

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emeryhiro · 3 months ago

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Do you think Carol would have continued to stay with Ezekiel had Henry not died? For me, Carol's married era in the Kingdom is a conundrum - because on the one hand, I love that she got to experience some peace and happiness after being put through the wringer both emotionally and mentally. I love that she was able to save Henry and at least partly come to peace with the fact that she was able to find and save this kid - when she has lost so many in the past (which makes it all the more heartbreaking she has go through all of that again in s10 - I love s10 but it so emotionally hard to watch as a Carol fan). But - in the second half of s9 whenever Carol is shown in the Kingdom, it feels a little wrong - like maybe she doesn't belong. She is smiling so widely and brightly - and it is so great to see her lighthearted - but something somewhere just feels off. Even her appearance - her clothes - they don't feel like her. I can't quite pinpoint it. Or I could be just looking at it through shipper goggles. Lol.

I absolutely adore your narrative breakdowns of these two. I don't have much hope for Caryl in TBOC but I am definitely looking forward to your analysis of the episodes to come.

Hi Anon 😊

Thank you so much for the kind words! They truly mean so much to me 🩵🩵🩵

I already have my thoughts/breakdown of TBOC episode 1 written up, which should be posted as soon as episode 1 is released to everyone. I honestly can't wait for everyone to see it and get everyone's thoughts on it as well.

Now, regarding your question...

This is such a good question, and I really had to think about it for a bit to be able to express my thoughts properly.

The short answer is yes, but ultimately, no. I think Carol would have stayed with Ezekiel if Henry had lived, at least for as long as they were in a good place. I know that seems like a cop-out of an answer, but I'll flesh it out a little bit.

Carol was happy enough with Ezekiel, and she would have probably continued to be with him until their situation changed and they had to go through some form of hardship as they naturally would've at some point or another in an apocalypse. Even if it wasn't for losing Henry, there would have been something else that would have pulled them apart because despite them being happy enough, their relationship lacked the depth to withstand severe adversity. They loved each other, but they weren't IN love, if you know what I mean.

If by some miracle they didn't face any hardship of any kind, then yep they probably would stay together for two main reasons (and trust me, this hurts my Caryl shipper heart to say):

Loyalty/Convenience: As we've seen, Carol is an incredibly loyal person. We don't know Ezekiel as well as we know Carol, but from what I could tell, he seems to be a very loyal person as well.

Trauma/Sacrifice: The only person that Carol would hypothetically leave Ezekiel for would be Daryl. But both Carol and Daryl have experienced way too much trauma to actually come clean about their feelings, not unless something huge happened to push them to do so. Daryl would never ever think he's good enough for Carol, or that he could make her happy compared to how Ezekiel appeared to make her. And Carol would feel the exact same way about Daryl, and she'd also be content with (as you said) the peace and happiness of staying with Ezekiel because she would never think she deserved anything better than that.

Ultimately, the perfect circumstances that would have kept Carol and Ezekiel together are near impossible in the world they live in. Starting a family with Ezekiel and Henry definitely helped Carol heal from some of her past trauma with Ed and Sofia, but ultimately the deeper traumas and wounds that she had yet to face and heal from (as she will in TBOC) would have never healed if she stayed with Ezekiel. They would have eventually been naturally pulled apart because neither is made for the other.

I also think that Carol always sensed/knew that her relationship with Ezekiel had an expiration date, and she had probably prepared for that inevitable end from the start of the relationship, while Ezekiel on the other hand, was less willing to accept that their relationship was at its end when Carol tried to return the ring in S9EP16.

Regarding Caryl...

I honestly don't blame you for not having much hope for Caryl, especially with all the mixed messages being sent around with the current publicity campaign. And I'm not sure if this will mean anything or change anything for you, but I'm personally still confident that canon is where we're heading. And as I've said in my previous posts, especially in the summary section of my last one (here), it makes sense (at least to me) for them to wait until season 3 to finally make Caryl officially canon.

I'm just gonna fangirl here for a second, but I believe (since the first time I saw them 12 years ago) that Carol and Daryl are soulmates, and I don't just mean platonic soulmates, but soulmates in every sense of the word. So, in my mind, based on all the evidence I've seen, one way or another, they will be together in the end. But like I said, that's in my mind. The final outcome for Caryl depends on Norman and Melissa's vision for the characters, which I understand may not align with mine, but I trust that no matter what they end up giving us, it's still gonna be a fantastic story ♡

~~~~

Thank you again for the really interesting question ♡♡♡ I hope my answer made sense and got my thoughts across properly.

I can't explain how excited I am about TBOC and seeing Carol and Daryl in the same frame again. ONLY 19 DAYS TO GO!! 🥰🎉

#carol peletier #Ezekiel Sutton #daryl dixon #the walking dead #twd #the book of carol #caryl #caryl positivity #tboc #melissa mcbride #norman reedus #anon ask

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munsoninthedark86 · 11 months ago

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Kinktober 2022 Day 2: Vampires(Release The Bats)

warnings: smut, vampires, biting, cheating, mentions of drugs, unprotected sex, creampie, slight mentions of death, AU pairings: Vampire!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader word count: 1.4k

It’s been weeks since Eddie was left in the upside down. You often wonder if you’ll actually see him again. With the way Dustin had reacted to everything, you were sure that Eddie had actually died. But Dustin told you that he couldn’t really confirm it himself. You think maybe that the young teen is trying to be hopeful just like you, but you both believe that there is a big possibility that Eddie is actually dead. You try all you can do to get over him, but he was the person you loved the most in your life.

You spent most of your days mourning him, until you finally had to come to terms with the fact that you’d never see Eddie Munson again. Slowly, you tried to go out with your friends again. Eddie’s band and most of the hellfire club would still meet up with you and do things with you, and you slowly became the de facto leader in these two groups, and it made you feel a little better. You could take care of these areas of Eddie’s life; the parts which he’d never be able to return to. The thought alone left you feeling hollow. But eventually, things got a little better.

You met someone. Someone who made you feel a little like Eddie used to make you feel. This guy was so charming, he liked all the same bands you and Eddie did, and he just makes you laugh. But still, your heart feels so torn from the heartbreak. You don’t want to move on, but at the same time, you aren’t sure you can keep living your life pretending that Eddie is going to come back.

One night, after going out with your new love interest, you’re coming home and feeling pretty good. It’s been a while since you’ve felt this way. Your heart skips a beat as you make your way into the trailer. Both your parents are asleep in their bedroom, so you sneak past their door and go into your bedroom. You’re smiling so much and you feel like you’re floating on a cloud. This all changes when you see Eddie sitting on your bed.

“E-Eddie?” You ask in disbelief. It looks like him, but there’s so much that’s different about him. Namely that he isn’t dead like you think. Your heart is racing as your brain tries to make logical thoughts.

Eddie chuckles before getting up off the bed, “Cute boyfriend. Does he make you cum like I do?”

Your cheeks burn and you shake your head no. Your new boyfriend doesn’t make you feel good like Eddie used to, but at least he is trying. You don’t want to be sad anymore. All of this must be some stupid hallucination. A guilt-ridden blast from the past trying to fuck you up. Tears blur your vision as you try to make sense of what’s happening.

“I’m not dead, you know.” Eddie begins. He comes a little closer, and you can see the shine in his yellow eyes. They aren’t the chocolate brown eyes you’ve come to love. They shine in the moonlight and they look almost catlike.

“You are dead, Eds. Dustin said so, you should have seen the poor g-guy. Whimperin’ and cryin’ the whole time he came back from the upside down and—”

Eddie presses a finger on your lips. No more is the warmth from your favorite drug dealer and lover. It’s instead replaced with a cold. Inhuman cold. Cold that comes from beyond. Beyond the grave.

“Awhh, was he really that beat up over poor ol’ me?” Eddie asks, a smirk spread on his face. Then when he flashes you a cheeky smile, you can see fangs in place of his eye teeth. This makes you shudder in fear. This is truly Eddie…but it’s not him at the same time.

Eddie pushes you up against the wall, and you really feel like prey now. His nose brushes against yours as he leans in closer. He can feel your body shuddering, and he chuckles darkly. He gets to have you all to himself now. That new boy can’t do what Eddie does to you.

“Guess I need to remind my sweetheart of just how good it can be with me,” Eddie snarls before kissing you roughly.

It feels like time is standing still. You’re frozen in this moment with the love of your life. You can’t help but wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer. You no longer care if this is a dream or it’s something dangerous. You just want to lose yourself to the pleasure that is Eddie Munson. He means everything to you and you thought you had lost him forever. It doesn’t matter if he’s a vampire or something else. All that matters is that you can feel him right now. He’s here with you, kissing you, probably going to fuck you too.

“‘Missed you so fuckin’ much,” you murmur between kisses. Eddie sighs softly and he cups your chin.

“You have no idea how much I missed you too, sweetheart. Seeing you with this new guy, it hurt me bad.”

You whine softly, “I didn’t know you were alive…thought you were fuckin’ dead, you idiot.”

Eddie scoops you up in his arms, making you squeal slightly. He quiets you with a kiss and a warning look. You remember that your parents are just down the hall. If they found you in here with Eddie, they would freak. Not to mention, everyone thinks Eddie Munson is dead. So it would be bad news all around.

He wastes no time getting you naked. Usually, he loves to tease you and take his time stripping you. But now, he can’t hold back. He needs to taste you and to fuck you. He wants to make up for lost time. Once you’re completely exposed to him, that’s when Eddie begins undressing himself as well.

Your skin breaks out in goosebumps when you feel his long nails dragging across your abdomen down to your sopping wet pussy. A quiet whine escapes from your lips as he presses the pads of his fingers to your clit and begins rubbing in sloppy circles. It’s just the way you love it. It drives you crazy at how sloppy Eddie is, despite being in a new form.

“I need you, baby.” He presses a kiss to your lips before slotting himself between your legs.

You barely have time to react before he is teasing your folds and clit with the tip of his cock, and you cry out when he slips it into you. He’s so quick to quiet you with a rough kiss. He really doesn’t want your parents coming in here. But when he listens, he hears no commotion coming from down the hall.

“Gotta be quiet, okay? Can you do that for me, princess?” Eddie asks, and you nod your head.

You already feel so full with him deep inside of you. His balls are plush against your ass. You’re panting as you try to beg him to move, but he’s just enjoying this. Truth be told, your pussy feels even better like this than he imagined. He thinks he might blow his load too soon if he’s not careful.

Slowly, he begins a steady pace. You feel so close to your own orgasm already. You’re not sure if it’s the excitement of seeing him again, or maybe you just missed him so dearly. Your hands soothe down his back, then back up to play with his crazy mane of hair. He leans in to kiss you ever so tenderly, making your walls clench around him.

“Jesus—” Eddie chokes out. “Don’t do that. ‘Gonna make me cum way too quick,”

“It’s your fault. You made me do it.”

Eddie grunts as he picks up his pace. He reaches between the both of you to rub your clit just how you like it. You feel your body tensing in preparation for this intense orgasm. Tears well up in your eyes and you know that you’re in love. You’d gladly never see your new boyfriend ever again if Eddie asked you to. You try to moan out a warning that you’re going to cum, but you tumble off the edge before you can do so.

His eyes watch you as you come undone just for him. He leans in once more, and you feel his fangs on your neck. A strangled cry falls from your lips as he bites into you, moaning at the taste of your blood. You taste so sweet, and this is all it takes for him to cum inside of you. His hips snap as he paints your insides white.

Finally, he pulls out of you and he lays next to you. You roll over to face him and a smile is spread on your face.

“Now, are you ready to accept the gift I have to offer?”

#munsoninthedark.writes #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you #stranger things #Eddie Munson smut #kinktober 2022 #stranger things x reader

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temptingfatetakingnames · 1 year ago

Text

The Last Steve Harrington Part 9

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

It was another beautiful summer day and Steve had taken the Chevy out for a drive. With the windows rolled down, he drove out to a country road listening to Hopper’s Johnny Cash tape. He had spoken to Hopper about borrowing the car and after a quick trip together to make sure Steve remembered how to drive, he had given the green light. There was a moment before he handed Steve the keys where he was sure Hopper thought he would never see him again. He didn’t really know what to do with the trust – that even though the thought crossed his mind that Steve might run, might take his car and go – Hopper gave him the keys anyway. It was a good feeling, knowing that he could take the car and leave if he needed to. Today, he needed to.

It was strange having Johnathan and Argyle in the house. They were generally very quiet but Steve still found his carefully crafted peace disturbed. They were two more people who asked questions, who he had to dance around and avoid. Argyle kept offering him weed, which seemed like the best and worse idea imaginable. Steve couldn’t deny that he was tempted but the fear of a panic attack always held him off. Johnathan didn’t talk much, which he was grateful for. He was much more reserved than the Johnathon Steve had known and he was unsure what to make of him. The feeling seemed mutual – he caught Johnathan staring at him a few times.

Nancy had only stayed long enough that first night to see Steve before heading home with the promise that she would be back soon. She had pulled him into a tight hug before she left, his frigid stance not dissuading her. Her scent had engulfed him – had overwhelmed him with memories and fondness – reminding him of first kisses and falling in love, of heartbreak and moving on. Her and Johnathan had fit so much better and Steve couldn’t be bitter when they realized it. They had tried to hide it from him at first, like he wouldn’t be able to tell when two of his best friends started dating. He could be oblivious, but not that oblivious.

The country road continued in front of him for miles, the music was loud and the wind blew his hair wildly around his face. He could keep driving, keep going until he found a place that didn’t know the name Steve Harrington. Start over fresh. It was his original plan to leave once he was well enough, prepared enough. But the thought wasn’t as enticing as it once was. His stomach rumbled and he was surprised to see the clock read almost 1:00 p.m. He did a quick U-turn and started the drive back home.

Home…?

He didn’t know when he started to consider the Hopper-Byers’ house home. They were all just so good to him. Too good. Hopper and Joyce were understanding, Will and Eleven were easy to be around and kind. The only thing Steve had to really compare it too was Eds’ and Wayne’s trailer. They both had the same warmth, the same feeling that Steve always found difficult to describe – the easy comfort of a safe place where he was loved, welcome, wanted – home, he now considered.

When he pulled up to the house, Joyce’s car was gone and so were Will’s and Eleven’s bikes. He wasn’t sure who would be home when he walked in the door. He heard banging and muttering coming from the kitchen when he walked past so he peered in to see who it was. Argyle had his head in the freezer and was digging around. If his muttering was anything to go by, he wasn’t finding what he wanted. He hadn’t noticed Steve standing in the doorway yet; he could still leave and Argyle wouldn’t know. But this was his home, and Argyle was looking for something.

“Hey, what are you looking for?” Steve asked as he walked into the room.

“Steve!” Argyle exclaimed as he pulled his head out of the freezer. “Where does Joyce keep her dough? I want to make a pizza. I found everything else I need, but no dough.”

Steve scrunched his face in confusion. Why would he be looking for dough in the freezer?

“She has flour and yeast in the cupboard,” he said pointing across the room.

“Flour is not going to cut it, my dude. I am looking for some premium premade dough balls.”

“Didn’t you make your own dough at Surfer Boy?”

“Of course! Trent always went in early to prepare a bunch and freeze it for the day. I was the toppings man… not the dough man.”

Steve smiled and walked over to the cupboard, grabbing out the flour, yeast, and sugar before turning back to Argyle. “Well, I guess today you get to be both.”

Steve set to work mixing the ingredients into a large bowl as Argyle watched intently. They settled into a routine as Steve explained the process. There were a few moments where they had to wait for it to rest or rise that Steve was afraid would turn awkward but Argyle was good at keeping up a mostly one-sided conversation. When it was ready, Argyle took over and started flipping the dough above his head like a true professional.

“What do you like on your pie, Steve?”

He shrugged. “I’m not picky, I’ll eat whatever you put on yours.”

Argyle tsked at him and wagged a finger in his face after he slapped the now rounded dough on the counter. “No can do my dude, of course you can try a slice of my delicious pineapple fiesta but you gotta have your own, too.” Argyle spread his hands out in front of the toppings he had pulled out like he was a game show host showing off the prizes. “What appeals to your current mood and hunger?”

“Mushrooms, onions, and…” Steve looked at the available options and pursed his lips in thought, “ham.”

Argyle nodded enthusiastically and smiled wide. “Good choices, a well-rounded pie.”

Steve started cleaning up while Argyle put his toppings on one side of the pizza and Steve’s on the other and then popped it in the oven. Nothing to do now but wait for it to be ready but Steve didn’t know how to politely excuse himself. Argyle just kept smiling at him and nodding slowly.

“Thanks for the help, you’d make a fine dough boy my dimension hopping buddy.”

“You’re welcome,” Steve said as he raked his fingers through his hair. “I’ll keep that in mind for when I decide on my future career plans.”

Argyle nodded sagely and then asked, “does it feel weird?”

Steve blinked at him, having no clue what the hell that question meant. “Does what feel weird?”

“Being outside your dimension or universe or whatever. I once wore my shoes on the wrong feet for a whole day and I could tell that something was off but I didn’t figure out why until I got home and took my shoes off and everything felt right again. Does it feel like that?”

That… was a surprisingly insightful observation. Steve did feel constantly off balance – especially when he had to interact with the other versions of people he had known well in his universe. He was always making comparisons in his head, wishing he could stop because it was exhausting. But how do you stop? How do you forget?

“It does feel weird. It’s been weeks now and it hasn’t got better, I – I’m afraid it never will,” Steve said, looking away.

This was a fear he hadn’t spoken aloud to anyone. Steve didn’t know why he admitted it to Argyle of all people. The other man came over to him and put his hands on his shoulders. Steve flinched a little but held steady as Argyle looked him in the eyes intently.

“It will. If I kept wearing my shoes the wrong way eventually I would have got used to it, right? Then putting them on the other way would have felt wrong. It’s time, man. It just takes time.”

Time. Steve had spent a year surviving an apocalypse – he remembered the first few days thinking he would never make it, but like Argyle had said – it had become his normal… Eventually. Now, trying to live life normally did feel wrong.

He nodded and Argyle dropped his hands before bending down to check on the pizza in the oven. A peaceful quiet settled over them as they waited for it to be ready.

---

Later that evening, he was reading in his room, hiding from everyone. Dinner had been loud and chaotic and Steve needed some time to himself afterwards. He found that he truly enjoyed sitting down for dinner with them all, even if he still didn’t talk much. The feeling of a family coming together after a long day and catching up with each other was… good. Food was passed around haphazardly and multiple conversations were going on at once and it was a lot for him and hurt his head a little, but he liked it. Joyce would always quietly ask how his day was and Will and Eleven always made a point to tell him how the rest of the kids were doing. It felt like family. Even though Steve was still holding himself back from them they kept trying to include him. Sitting at that table, he realized how easy it could be – to have them, to let them in.

That scared him. So, as soon as dinner was over, he ran to his room. He still felt like he didn’t deserve them and kept trying to squash that ball of sunshine glowing in his chest when they included him in their family.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He set The Princess Bride aside and called, “come in,” expecting Joyce or the kids. He wasn’t expecting Johnathan.

“Hey,” he said as he entered the room.

“Hey,” Steve replied.

“Nancy is coming over tonight and I was wondering if we could invite Robin and Eddie over, too? We haven’t seen them in awhile and it would be good to get the gang together, if you’re up for it.”

Steve didn’t know why he had to be there or give his permission. This was Johnathan’s house more than it was Steve’s; he could invite anyone he wanted over. He supposed he was really asking if Steve would hang out with them. His first impulse was to say no. His first impulse was always to say no. But that impulse also made him think of the promise he had made – that damn promise.

He used to love getting together with friends. Drinking and laughing and swimming. He was the life of the party, once upon a time. He didn’t know how to get that part of himself back, didn’t know how to be carefree and light anymore.

But… he had promised to try.

“Sure,” Steve said and hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

---

He regretted it.

He found himself in the same predicament he always seemed to find himself in nowadays – he didn’t know what to say. Nancy and Jonathan were sitting on the couch across from him, open expressions on their faces like they were waiting for him to spill his entire life story.

No, thank you.

He had already done that once and would not be doing it again.

Robin was sitting close beside him, their knees touching. She was always touching him. Completely without hesitation, she would reach out at any time – and he didn’t know why but she never made him flinch. Eddie and Argyle were both on the floor, talking quietly with their heads together. Steve wanted to pull Argyle’s fucking hair. Wanted to pull him away from Eddie until he was sitting at an appropriate distance. He sipped his beer and tried to ignore them.

“So, what have you been up to?” Nancy asked.

How do you say absolutely nothing without saying absolutely nothing?

“Resting, mostly,” he replied, “reading, hanging out with the kids. What about you guys?”

“I’m going to school for journalism and Johnathan is working as a photographer. He’s growing his own business.”

Steve nodded, unsurprised. That fit with what his Nancy and Johnathan would have pursued too. The silence grew between them as they all seemed to think of what else to say to each other.

Steve turned to Robin. “You graduated, right? Why are you still in Hawkins?”

“I did graduate and was all set to go to university but…” she trailed off and looked away, her hands fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt.

“But what, Robs?” he asked gently.

She looked back at him. “But then Steve died and it didn’t feel right to leave without him. I manage Family Video now.”

It was his turn to look away from her. He saw Nancy looking at Robin with a deeply sympathetic look on her face and Steve wondered if there was more to the story. He didn’t want to push her about it though, especially when it was about Other Steve.

“You could go now. It’s not too late,” he said instead.

Nancy nodded enthusiastically. “You could!”

“Maybe,” Robin said still sounding sad, “but not yet.”

“Hey, if you’re the manager maybe you could give me a job? Part time, just one or two shifts a week? I need something to do.”

“Yes! Of course, I can!” Robin said and smiled at him so brightly you’d think he’d just given her a gift that she had been waiting her whole life for.

He smiled back at her. Working with Robin part time would be a good way of getting out more and he was grateful for the opportunity to make his own money. One step closer to independence. Hopper and Joyce never made him feel like a burden but he hated having to rely on anyone for his needs.

“Thanks, Rob.”

The conversation flowed more easily after that as everyone got caught up with each other. Eddie and Argyle finished their conversation and joined the group, which took some of the pressure off Steve. They complained about their jobs and the terrible customers they had to deal with, blowing off steam by trying to one-up each other. Steve learned that Eddie was working as a mechanic. Eds had been good with cars too, so that didn’t surprise him.

Steve moved around the room, sipping his beer and chatting, mostly with Argyle and Robin. The beers loosened his tongue and he was feeling pleasantly drunk when Nancy asked him about his universe – she wanted to know what it was like. The conversations around him quieted as they all seemed to wait for him to decide if he was going to answer or not. He certainly hadn’t been willing to talk about it before and he knew they must be curious. So, he told them that in general their universes seemed very similar, most of the differences started after Vecna. He told them about the sky and how much he had missed having weather, and his anecdote about Madonna made everyone laugh. He tried to steer the conversation away from The Upside Down as much as possible, not wanting to talk about those differences but Nancy had other plans.

“How did we die?” she asked suddenly.

Her eyes were red and a little unfocused, they were all drunk by this point but that question poured ice cold water down Steve’s back.

Flashes of blood, of sightless eyes staring up at a red sky, of screams filling the air overwhelmed him. Steve shook his head, hoping to clear the memories from his mind. Felt anger rise up in their place. Nancy wanted to know how she died? Wanted to know how they all died?

Well, Steve would fill her in.

“Johnathan died trying to get to Will, a Demogorgon cut him clean in half. He was still screaming as he watched him get taken by the Mind Flayer. Vecna killed Nancy, snapped her neck like it was nothing. Robin was crushed and suffocated by The Mind Flayer. Argyle burned alive. He was throwing a Molotov when a bat attacked him and he dropped it.”

He paused and looked at Eddie. “Eds…he died in my arms after being torn apart by Demobats. Anyone else’s deaths you want to hear about? Maybe Mike’s? Or Dustin’s?”

The silence was loud. They were all looking at him, horrified. He put his beer on the table and got up. He walked up the stairs calmly and out the front door. Sitting on the front steps he tried to calm his racing heart, ashamed of what he had said. It was a question he probably would have asked if their positions were reversed. Anyone would be curious to know how they died in another universe. Nancy also would never have asked if she wasn’t drunk. He dropped his head between his knees and sighed. He didn’t want to go back in there. After a moment he heard the door open and close behind him.

He expected Robin so he was surprised by the manly grunt his new companion let out as he sat beside him on the step.

“I think I owe you an apology,” Eddie said.

Steve couldn’t help but snort at that.

“Okay. I definitely owe you an apology.”

“I’m waiting,” Steve said as he lifted his head and turned towards him.

“I am sorry,” Eddie continued, “for how I treated you in the hospital. I shouldn’t have said those things.”

Steve nodded, fighting back tears. “You didn’t know.”

“I’d like to explain why I was such an asshole, if that’s okay?”

“Sure, Eddie.”

“I wasn’t being facetious when I said I died the other day. I was torn apart by bats just like – just like Eds was but Vecna brought me back. He used me to get close to Eleven and the kids. I was screaming at them not to trust me, but they did. They were so happy to see me, that I was alive that they didn’t question how. That’s why I didn’t trust you. Just because you have someone’s face doesn’t mean you can be trusted. And the kids – fuck. You have no idea what they were like those first few days you were in the hospital. They were freaking out, man. Blaming themselves for taking too long. They were expecting Steve – who always just seemed to let all that shit roll off him, ya know? And instead…” Eddie seemed to realize where he was going and stopped mid-sentence.

“Instead, they got me.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Maybe not. But it’s the truth.”

Eddie looked at him intently. “You think I didn’t blame myself when I was doing what Vecna ordered me to do? Afterwards, when I tried to apologize, they wouldn’t let me. It was… hard, getting back to myself after that. I guess I just understand a little, maybe – about what you’re going through.”

Steve thought about it. Maybe…Eddie could understand a little. At least about the after part anyway, the getting back to normal part. But Eddie wasn’t to blame for his actions when he was being controlled by Vecna, Steve had no one else to blame but himself. It wasn’t the same, but it was something.

“Did you hurt them?” he asked.

Eddie shook his head. “I was a spy, I told Vecna everything that they were planning. I broke free before he ordered me to hurt them, though I could feel how much he wanted Eleven dead.”

“How did you break free?”

“Eleven. She knew something wasn’t right but it took her awhile to figure out the connection between me and Vecna. He left me torn up, made it look like I had crawled my way out of The Upside Down so I would be less suspicious. She thought it was the bat bites that she was sensing, not Vecna. Took her awhile to find him, longer to get him out.”

Steve couldn’t imagine having someone in his mind, ordering him around, ordering him to spy on the people he loved. It probably wasn’t something Eddie liked to talk about, but he was grateful that he told him. It helped. Their situations weren’t the exact same, but the guilt Eddie felt… Yeah, he understood guilt.

“Thank you,” Steve said, “I appreciate you explaining. I didn’t understand why you were so angry at me.”

Eddie winced. “I really was an ass. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow.”

“Oh yeah? How are you going to do that?”

“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it. I’ll pick you up at 11:00, let ya sleep in a little, hmm?”

Once again, his first impulse was to say no. After tonight he wanted to hide out in his room and never come back out.

But it was Eddie. How could he say no to Eddie?

He nodded. “11:00 sounds good.”

---

Part 10

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