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loonylupinblack3 · 6 months ago

Text

Cold

Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader

Warnings: slightly suggestive content

Summary: it's cold and you decide to go exploring for a heated blanket. you find logan instead.

Word Count: 1.5k

It was cold.

You were fucking freezing, shivering even under your piles of blankets. It was this stupid house, giant though it was, with shit heating. So when one of the kids fucked up and damaged the already extremely fragile heating, it broke. In the middle of winter.

You groaned, curling even further in on yourself, trying to keep any heat you’d formulated from escaping. Stupid house. Stupid cold. Stupid useless blankets. You wracked your brain for anything else you could get to find you some more warmth because you could not go on like this. You were jealous of all the mutants in the house with fire or heat mutations, or those with partners to sleep with, comfortable in each other's warmth.

You sat up when you remembered it. The electric blanket Storm had gotten as a gift a few years back lay discarded in one of the shelves in the kitchen, hidden in a box unopened. If you could get that, connect it to the outlet next to your bed, well…. You’d actually be able to sleep tonight.

It took you a while to actually build up the courage to leave your bed and your warmth, however slim it may be. When you did you were assaulted with the cold, more than twice as bad without your blankets. Not to say you weren’t already layered, with your winter pyjamas and hoodie, but still. It was cold.

You travelled down the long hallways and through the massive house, trying to get to the kitchen as quickly as possible. The torch in your hand shook slightly from your shivers, but you promised yourself it would all be worth it when you went back to your room with the toasty heated blanket.

You’d told yourself you’d be in and out, with the electric blanket in your room in no time, yet you stopped short when you saw the light on in the kitchen, and Logan leaning against the counter with a beer in his hand.

Your heart gave a lurch, which immediately gave you away, Logan’s eyes darting to you. You gave a nervous smile, sort of just… standing there. You’d had a minor crush on Logan for a while now, very low key. No one even knew about it; it was so minor. Just…. The playful banter you two had, and his looks, they appealed to you. Still, it was minor, and usually you were much more composed around him, but you were tired and cold and your defences were down.

“Logan,” you said, stepping forwards. “What are you doing here?”

Logan watched you intently, eyes roving your body as he sipped his beer. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you Darl?”

You tried not to smile at the nickname, rubbing your arms in an attempt to create more warmth. “I was cold.”

Logan raised his eyebrows. “So you came looking for company?”

Heat rushed to your face at the suggestion, as did Logan’s intent gaze as if he was eager to fill the role. You cleared your throat. “No, um, there’s a heated blanket in one of the cupboards.”

Again Logan raised his eyebrows with an amused expression. “Is there now?”

You felt a smile stretch on your face, even though you fought it. You rolled your eyes at him. “Yes, there is.”

He placed his beer on the counter and moved forwards. “Well now you’ve got to show me this blanket, because otherwise I’ll be believing you came here for me.”

The flirty tone in his voice made you flush even more, but you kept your cool, observing him with a calm expression, only a hint of a smile on your face now. “Alright then.”

You walked to the cupboard on the left, rummaging through it. Your memory was a little fuzzy but you were sure Storm had put it in here. Logan watched you with a smirk, beer forgotten as he leant against the counter.

You shot him a glare. “Aren’t you cold?”

In nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, you’d be shivering uncontrollably at that point, barely able to form a coherent thought let alone a sentence. Logan seemed fine though, not a single goosebump on his skin. More than fine actually, if his entertained smirk was anything to go by.

“Helpful side of the regeneration,” Logan said, “keeps my body temp normal no matter what.”

He stepped forward till he was standing over you, watching you intently. “Now, where’s that blanket bub?”

You cleared your throat, standing up. “Must be in one of the other cupboards.”

He made an ‘ah’ sound as you quickly moved onto a different cupboard, all the while feeling yourself get colder and colder. Yet as you continued to search, you came up empty handed, the blanket having disappeared all together.

You were relentless though, because the thought of Logan thinking you came down there for him… well, you weren’t sure you’d be able to look him in the eye again if that happened. So you continued looking fruitlessly, all the while feeling the cold wrap its icy claws around you.

“Alright, you’re getting cold, admit defeat yeah?” Logan asked after watching you nearly drop an item because of how bad your hands were shaking.

You shook your head. “I’m fine.”

He let out a scoff. “You’re certainly not fine. Come on now.”

His hand gently grabbed your shoulder, pulling you back from the cupboards. You turned around to stare at him, slightly panicked. “I didn’t come down here to take you to bed. I promise.”

Logan let out a laugh, his arms draped loosely around your waist. “I know that bub, I was just playing.”

You looked up at him, slightly embarrassed, though the cold ensured you didn’t focus on it too much. “Well…. As long as you know.”

Logan gave a rueful nod. “I know, but I’d have liked it if you did take me there.”

You nearly let out a baffled gasp, looking up at him with wide eyes. You two had your fun, but you’d never been this forward with each other before. “What?”

“Well, you’re cold,” he said, “and there’s no heated blanket. I’d hate for you to go back to your room just to be cold again.”

You couldn’t help but smile slightly. “Oh so you're doing me a favour are you?”

Logan shrugged, a smirk on his face. “You could say that. Or you could say I’ve wanted you for a long fucking time and I’m finally doing something about it.”

“Oh?”

Logan’s arms around your waist tightened, pulling you to his chest. You revelled in the warmth of having a human’s body against yours, the heat radiating from him a welcome comfort.

“Yes, oh,” Logan replied, grinning at you like he knew how much you enjoyed being in his arms. “So what do ya say bub?”

You couldn’t think too much about it, the cold making it hard for any rational thought to make it through, but you knew you wanted this. Him.

“Hmm… I say we better hurry up and get to my room because I’m freezing.”

Logan smirked. “One thing first.”

He leant down and kissed you, one hand staying on your waist while the other came up to your face, gripping your chin slightly and tilting it forwards to give him better access to your mouth. His lips were feverish against yours, like a starved man, dragging against your mouth like it was all he’d been able to think about for who knew how long.

You kissed him back, something he obviously revelled in if his audible groan was anything to go by. Both his hands were now on your face cupping it as he kissed you harder, devouring your mouth.

He pulled back when he noticed your shaking though, shaking his head at you with an amused smile. “Now let’s get you in bed yeah?”

You nodded your head, almost salivating at the thought of some warmth, and let Logan lead you to your room, a hand placed firmly on your waist. When you saw your bed, looking so inviting, you left Logan’s side to crawl into it, letting out a sigh of content when you covered yourself under the piles of blankets.

Logan smirked at you before tugging his shirt up and taking it off. Your eyes widened as you stared at his chest, his abs flexing as he raised his arms, the small trail of hair going from his belly button to hidden behind the waistband of his sweatpants, hanging low in his hips and giving you the perfect view of his V-line.

“What are you doing?” you managed to ask, even though you still hadn’t torn your gaze away from his body.

Logan’s smirk, noticing your stare, turned smug. “The less layers the better body heat bub.”

You swallowed, feeling your cheeks heat. “Well I’m too cold to take any of my clothes off.”

Logan moved forward, gently nudging you aside so he could get under the covers, immediately wrapping his arms around you and pulling your back to his chest. You shivered delightfully. He was right; the less layers the better body heat.

He moved forward to whisper in your ear, “that’s alright bub. We’ll leave that for another night.”

You smiled again, feeling flustered, and Logan chuckled against your head, giving you a chaste kiss on your hair.

“Goodnight,” you whispered to Logan, snuggling closer to him.

Logan’s hands tightened around your waist, pressing his head into the crook of your neck and peppering some kisses there. “Goodnight bub.”

#logan howlett #wolverine #x men #wolverine x reader #logan howlett x reader #x men movies #x men fic #x men x reader #james howlett #james logan howlett #xmen

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k-hotchoisan · 8 months ago

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body language

well, pining after your brother’s fucking attractive best friend isn’t a sin if he doesn’t know right? nobody has to know.

nobody has to know that you're lodged in his fantasies when the nights deepen.

nobody has to know what happens when you're forced to share a room with Yunho.

Genre/Warnings: smut, big dick! X Perverted! Yunho, unprotected sex, low key corruption kink, mutual pining, cream pies, fingering, orgasms, overstimulation, oh no they are forced to share a room!, sexual tension, dirty talk

Taglist: @bro-atz @diamond-3 @mcarebearsstuff @choisansplushie @voicesinmyhead-rc @pre1ttyies @hwallazia @songmingisthighs @yeosangiess @sanhwajjong @interweab @mylovelymito @softwsan @yourlocaljonghoe @itza-meee

🩷 back to staying perverted

A/N: send me to jail for being so inactive TT I know life happens and I shouldn't apologise for going mia for a bit but I still feel so bad! Nonetheless, please continue giving my works as much love as you all always do, and that ya'll are my source of motivation. Thank you for waiting ❤️

Undoubtedly, it’s either your brother has good taste in making friends, or you just have interesting taste in men, because out of all men you had a crush on, it had to be the one closest to your brother—Jeong Yunho. Something about him made your heart flutter uncontrollably. Maybe it was the way he would lean in towards you when he wanted to whisper something in your ear, keeping your brother an arm’s length while his voice tickled perfectly as it reverberates in your brain. Maybe it was the way he would hold your stare for a couple of seconds before his pretty smiles spreads across his lips, as if he was keeping a secret that he wants to tell you. Maybe it was the way he would bump his arm against yours when he wants to ally with you to piss your brother off.

Whatever it was, you couldn’t deny that the feelings you had for him were growing exponentially. How you managed to keep said feelings in bay was a mystery. You could attribute it to knowing Yunho for as long as you did. Maybe he treated everyone nice and politely like that. It was hard not to keep your hopes up sometimes and it really made you frustrated.

“A chalet?” You repeat. “What’s the occasion?”

“Just a weekend out”, your brother replies. “A couple of friends will be coming. You know them, including Yunho.”

“Are you going?” Yunho suddenly asks.

You break eye contact with Yunho, going back to your phone. “No. I’m going on a date.”

Yunho’s eyes widen. There is a flash of panic that flickers in his eyes. His words spill out of him before he realises it.

“With who? How come I didn’t know?”

You cast a confused glance at him. “Why would you need to know?”

That was when Yunho realises, and he simmers down, going back to hiding behind his phone screen. He bites his tongue, hoping you nor your brother ha caught on. But thankfully, no one else questions him. In fact, your brother doubles down.

“Yeah, you didn’t tell me?” Your brother echos.

“As if you’re interested in my love life”, you playfully retort, rolling your eyes before you disappear into your room, before Yunho starts to hear your heartbeat right in your ears again.

Yunho stares blankly at his phone, still processing that you’ll be going on a date. Something sits uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach. He’s running his brain, thinking of a million ways to make you cancel the date, half of it under the pretence of your brother. How could he do it without making it obvious?

“And why would I cancel my date, Jeong Yunho?” You ask, your arms crossed. For some reason, your brother and Yunho were suddenly way too interested in your date. Especially Yunho. He would not get off your back about it.

“It’s dangerous? Who knows he might be a serial killer!” He was really dramatic about too, might you add.

You scoff, and an amused smile tugs the corner of your lips, as your hand reaches out to pat his cheek. “I’ll be fine, Yun. You’re on my speed dial if anything happens okay?”

For a moment, you feel his gaze piercing right into you, as if time didn’t exist—the both of you caught in between each other’s gazes, Yunho looking like he wants to say something, but he stops himself. You quickly break the eye contact, remembering that he’s your brother’s best friend, and that Yunho is just being as worried as your brother. Nothing more than that. Yunho wants to hold the gaze longer. He almost wants to break the imaginary boundaries then both of you set, but he snaps into to reality when he watches you leave, his voice trapped in his throat.

Fuck. Looks like he’s the one losing now.

It doesn’t help that during that night, you slip into his dreams, and instead of you leaving, he has your face in his hands, and your lips are on his. He feels you in your entirety, and you feel so fucking good pressed against him. Yunho wants so badly to mark every part of you, to remind you he could do so much better than whoever you’re supposedly going out with. He could kiss you better, fuck you better. Then it switches—to you in front of him, your ass bouncing off his cock, loud smacks echoing from the walls as he sinks into your pussy with a broken sigh.

That’s when he fucking jolts awake, warm fluids streaming down his thighs, as he swallows an imaginary mass in his throat because what the fuck just happened? He stares blankly at the white ceiling of his room, mind as blank.

How fucked is he?

Yunho reaches to the doorstep of the chalet, almost close to midnight. Dance practice had bleed past the time, later than he thought. He greets his friends at the barbecue pit, still grilling chicken and seafood, stealing a stick and getting playfully hit before he enters the chalet itself.

Your brother sat there, comfortable with his girlfriend’s legs crossed over his lap as they had joycons in their hands, playing some kind of co-op game together. His friend turns to him, before his eye dart back to the screen once he acknowledges Yunho, much too engrossed with the level he and his girlfriend was at.

“Your room’s to the left of the stairs. I hung your lanyard there”, your brother says, before his attention goes right back to the game. For a spilt second, he suddenly remembers that he wanted to tell Yunho something, something important, but when his girlfriend squeals at clearing the level, the thought is completely erased from his memory.

Yunho climbs up the stairs, pushes the door open, and completely stops in his tracks as his gaze locks with yours. You’re seated on the bed, relaxed and on your phone until the door suddenly pushes open, and Yunho stands there, looking as bewildered as you.

There is a long moment of silence between the both of you.

“Can I help you, Yunho?” You break it.

“No…isn’t this my room?” Yunho clarifies. You glance around and shrug.

Yunho drops his bag, his heart beating loudly in his chest.

His eyebrows furrow, confusion sprawled across his face.

“Hold on. Weren’t you suppose to be on a date?”

You shrug again. “Yeah. It ended early. I thought of finding my brother and he asked me to use this room since it was vacant. I supposed he forgot to tell you? I could leave if-“

“N-no. You can stay, since you’re already here”, Yunho cuts you off. No fucking way is he wasting this chance. Somehow the thought of you within the same, close proximity is making his head dizzy. “You’re okay with sharing the bed? I can sleep downstairs.”

Your face starts to heat up. As much as it was the elephant in the room, for Yunho to bring up so straightforwardly like that was making your mind wander a little too close to the sun.

You force a small smile. “It’s fine. It’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before.” Well, not a lie, the only thing was that the both of you were blacked out drunk when it happened that one time.

Yunho’s signature smile appears. He looks comforted, at least. “Right. Then I’ll use the bathroom to wash up.” He grabs a spare towel on the rack, then walks back to dig for his clothes in his duffle before he disappears into the bathroom, leaving you with your messy thoughts. Your hand is over your heart, and you feel it beating a little too wildly.

Nothing’s gonna happen. Two people of the opposite sex can share a bed just fine, is what you tell yourself. Yeah, that would have been the case, if the opposite gender wasn’t Jeon Yunho.

Fifteen minutes felt like fifteen years in all honesty. The anxiety wouldn’t simmer down, so you end up burying yourself underneath the cold sheets, hoping that you’d end up falling asleep.

And by some miracle, you did. That is, until you feel the mattress weigh down, and shuffling on the sheets, then something bumping against your leg. You stir slightly from the disruption.

“Sorry. The bed’s a little…cramped”, you hear Yunho’s voice tickling your ears as his legs press against yours.

You stay silent, the only things that you hear are the whirling of the air conditioning and the sound of your heart about to fucking burst from your rib cage.

“It’s fine”, you finally reply, your body completely still, unsure how actually close the male is against you, only his legs pressed up against the back of your knees and his arms are barely touching your back as a gauge. Well, you weren’t in the mood to find out. The myriad amount of assurances you repeat to yourself that he’s just a friend, that he’s just Jeon Yunho, does nothing to comfort you to say the least.

You hear his voice ring a little to close to your ears again. “How was your date?”

You don’t want to answer, your eyes are focused onto the darkness of the door in front of you. You fear that he might hear your thoughts if you speak, even though that’s literally impossible.

“It was fine”, you curtly reply, squeezing the spare pillow in your arms.

“What did you think of him?”

“I think he’s okay. He’s quite a decent guy. Then again, it’s just the first date”.

The mattress shifts suddenly and you freeze when you feel him inch even closer to you. You have no clue what expression he’s making but from the way he suddenly shifts rather dramatically, you would assume that he seemed shocked?

Oh, you were definitely about to find out.

“You’re planning to see him again?” He’s closer now. You feel his chest almost pressing against your spine. You feel his gaze piercing daggers into the back of your head. You feel his agitation. But over what?

“I haven’t decided on that yet”, you reply. But you cut him before he says anything, “but what’s it to you? You usually don’t care about the things I do. Let alone my dates.”

This time, it’s Yunho’s turn to fall silent. The weight of the mattress beneath you shifts once more it stills. For a moment, you assume that he’d shifted away from you, and maybe he’d let the matter die off.

“Who said I didn’t?”

Now he’s completely pressing his body against you—you feel his lips just a hair’s length from the back of your neck, his chest completely flat against your back.

His crotch right against your ass.

“Yunho-“, you try turning to face him before the both of your start making any mistakes, but his hand presses your waist down, halting any movements you were about to make. Heat is flushing your cheeks.

“I’ll stop if you don’t want to, and I’ll turn away, and sleep downstairs. I won’t force you if you don’t want to.”

Shit, shit, shit. The more words Yunho speak, the more they aren’t registering in your damn head. His voice is melting in your ears, low and dangerous. The consequences that once rang like alarm bells in your head slowly grow muted, and now it’s just your carnal desire to let Yunho do whatever he wanted to you.

“I’m not doing this without your consent, my dear”, he reminds , and his hand is slowly trailing off your body.

All the repercussions, completely wiped off when your feelings that you once tried to fucking hard to suppress behind to bubble up to the surface, and for Yunho to just summon them so easily when he says it so gently and with such temptation.

But you should still probably stop this-

From the way you’re staying quiet, Yunho is ready to just cut his advances. After all, he’s not interested in making you feel uncomfortable, as much as he wants to just ruin you all for himself. He keeps his breathing light, but his heart is still beating loudly in his chest, bracing himself for the rejection, his hand gradually lifting from your waist, very much reluctantly-

Until he feels your hand cup his.

“I wanna feel you, Yunho”, you answer him, loud enough for him to hear, even though it was only the two of you within the confines of the room.

Yunho feels like he’s not close enough to you, even though the both of you are squeezed together, and his erection is evident—pressing shamelessly against the curve of your ass. It’s driving up the wall.

Another thing he doesn’t expect is the way your fingers curl around his wrist, and you bring him to your braless tits, and he short-circuits when his fingers press against your hard nipples. You curse softly when he rolls them gently against his fingertips, and you lean back against his chest. Yunho takes the chance to kiss your neck down to your shoulders, making you melt all over again.

But he doesn’t want to stay there for long. His cock is just throbbing and it’s overtaking his rationale.

You always offhandedly complimented that Yunho had such long, slender and pretty fingers, and that he made mundane actions—writing, typing—look so attractive.

And now, his fingers are prying your legs to spread open for him.

His fingers dip into the wetness of your soaked folds, and his mind almost completely blanks out for the second time at the way you’re drenched for him.

“Fuck. All of this for me?” He asks rhetorically, as he easily sinks two fingers in, hearing you choke from how his fingers are filling you up so well. The tip of his fingertips press against a spongy spot, and your head tilts back, face so flushed from the pleasure when he begins curl his fingers while in you and while he fucks your wet cunt.

He’s not letting you form any coherent thoughts in your head, not while he’s finger fucking the thoughts right out your poor brain.

“You’re so fucking soft. Shit. I really want to fuck you so fucking bad”, he grunts in your ear, his hips grinding against your ass like a natural instinct to.

“Your cock”, you mutter, struggling to keep your eyes open and mind clear. “Fuck. Need you to fuck me so good.”

Yunho inhales the scent of your hair wash as he peppers bites and kisses down the nape of your neck, smiling when he feels goosebumps spread across your skin.

He’s so tempted. But not yet. He desperate—desperate to see you fucking fall apart just with his fingers.

So he pulls his soaked fingers out, and for a moment, you whine at how empty your cunt feels, just ready to fucking beg him to fuck you with his fingers, his cock, whatever.

He sits up, pushing the thick and heavy blankets aside, tugging your wet bottoms and panties off, giving himself a mental reminder to pocket your panties when he’s done with you.

You’re spread open and perfectly wide for him to admire and drool over. By now, his eyes are pretty much adjusted the darkness, and the both of you are lazy to switch on the nightlight, so he’s definitely able to see your pussy in full view.

“Y-yu-“, your words completely cut off when he plunges two fingers right into your pussy again, filling you up completely. And this time, his other hand is on your clit, fingers rubbing, sending sparks flying beneath your eyelids.

The pleasure makes you buck your hips, and it builds so dangerously quick in your abdomen. The sounds of your pussy growing so fucking wet only encourages Yunho to pick up the pace, catching a rhythm of fucking and rubbing your clit so perfectly that you realise the feeling is growing way too funny.

“Y-Yunho-“ you try again. “Oh god. Feels weird.” Nonetheless, you don’t say it without your eyes rolling back and your abdomen flexing.

“That’s it. Let it go for me, baby. It’ll feel so fucking good.”

Oh fuck. You don’t even register it before it happens—it totally washes over you, and you’re just helplessly submitting to how fucking good this feels as you squirt all over Yunho, your mind swimming in the depths of ecstasy, your moans drowned when Yunho seals your lips shut with his, greedy to just keep them all to himself, and well, also not trying to wake the whole chalet up.

When Yunho pulls back and sees how flushed spent your face looks, he can’t help but sink deeper into his feelings for you. He goes in for another kiss, this time with your mind slowly clearing from the mind-blowing orgasm. Your arms wrap around his neck instantly, pulling him as close as you could, soft moans in between kisses only making him impossibly harder than he already was.

He shifts to lie down on the bed with you again, this time the both of you facing each other. He tugs the hem of your shirt and lugs it over your head, before lowering himself slightly to face your chest. You don’t know how but his pants are somehow kicked off, somewhere on the bed, and he’s bare and so fucking hard when he presses his cock on your pussy.

“Lift your leg for me, babe”, he says, palm sliding on the underside of your thigh as he feels you spread your legs open for him once more.

Yunho rubs his cockhead along your wet fucking folds, before he pushes himself in, a whimper leaving his lips as he bites on your shoulder to stop any loud noises from slipping past his lips.

He pushes himself in even more, and your arms are around his neck once more, light red imprints from your fingernails dig into his skin.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Feels like fucking heaven. So fucking tight and soft”, he mutters, eyes so glazed, and arms so tight around you when he finally buries himself into the hilt.

Your mind is complete mush by then—combined with Yunho’s cock that’s stuffed in you and the scent of his hair wash, you swear you were gonna cum for the second time. You knew he probably packed something, but holy fucking shit, you just never thought it would fill you up this fucking good. The rest of your senses slowly start to dull, the feeling of Yunho’s cock almost taking them all away.

“Shit. You’re fucking squeezing me-fuck!-here,” Yunho says, but it comes off as a broken moan. His head is buried into the crook of your neck, and you hear him trying to steady his breath through a slew of curses.

“You wanna move now?” You ask, your fingers combing through his messy locks. Yunho thinks he might have some sort of hair combing fetish with you now.

“Fuck, yes, please,” is all he replies before he pulls out slightly, then thrusting right back in, projecting fucking stars into your eyelids when he fills you up again and again.

You press your head against the pillow, eyes shut from the pleasure. When you find the strength to open them, Yunho’s glazed out expression is what comes into view. He’s looking at you like you’re his fucking treasure.

“Does it feel good? You feel so fucking amazing, y/n.”

“You can’t be asking me that when you’re fucking the thoughts right out of me”, and you squeal when he thrusts into you once more, filling you up to the brim.

“Even better. So my cock will be only the cock you know, right?” He smiles, fighting the urge to roll his eyes when your walls clench around him again.

And when you don’t answer, his hand slithers to your neck, and he squeezes, making you gasp.

“Answer me, pretty.”

“Yes, fuck yes. Don’t need anyone else’s when you’re fucking me so good”, you cry, relishing in the way he’s gradually cutting off your oxygen supply.

His thrusts grow harder and faster, his hands slowly letting go of your throat.

“That’s my good girl.”

And that makes your cunt flutter and pulsate uncontrollably for the second time, only now it’s on his cock this time.

“F-fuck. Oh, that’s it. That’s a good fucking girl, cumming all over my cock like that”, his voice ups a pitch when you fall apart again. “I’m gonna cum. Make sure you’re full and dripping when I’m fucking done with you.”

And when he does, he leaves a whole garden of bites on your chest and shoulders on top of filling your pussy up with his thick and warm cum. You never thought his face would get anymore attractive, but when he cums? You could get addicted to pulling that expression out of him, that’s for sure.

The both of you are panting as your highs wear off, hands still not off each other despite the shared warmth. He’s the first to let go, and you’re about to say something until he turns you around, and it’s then when his cock starts to harden in you. Your heart is beating rapidly again when his cock is filling you up once more, as it slowly displaces his cum that leaks past your sopping hole.

Your hand grabs onto his arm that’s snaking around your waist.

“W-wait. We need to talk about my broth-“, and he hears you whimper when he pushes himself deeper into you, throbbing in you. The way he’s littering kisses down your neck is sending you into a spiral, and now you’re nothing but weak against him, and his fat cock.

“That can wait to tomorrow, babe. I promised that I’ll make sure you’re full and dripping once I’m fucking done with you right? Well, I’m not done fucking you yet.”

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez smut #smut #ateez fic #kpop smut #jeong yunho #y/n x yunho #yunho ateez #ateez jongho #ateez yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut #Spotify

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meiieiri · 8 months ago

Text

𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐲 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫 [toji fushiguro]

synopsis: so she tells him not to cry over the injustice of a life cut too short for at the end of all this, she’ll only be a dream.

pairing: ex-husband!toji fushiguro x terminally ill wife!reader | song inspo: soon you’ll get better, cancer

warnings: heavy angst, terminal illness (primary bone cancer, stroke and MS), mentions of divorce/past infidelity, allegories to cheating, major character death. please read at your own risk. | a/n: this was so heavy for me to write, i started writing at 2 in the morning, and it’s 6:34 now.

word count. 3k~

“Why can’t you do anything right?”

Toji should have noticed, he laments as he takes a sip of his cognac. He should have sensed that something was wrong sooner, maybe that way, he wouldn’t be begging to borrow some more time to make things right. Your fingers were trembling that day — the first time you ever ruined his morning coffee — your hands shaking uncontrollably as you washed the mug with a sorrowful look on your face, your eyes glossy with the tears you were desperately trying to hold back.

He shouldn’t have been so harsh, he realizes that now. Breakfast had been burnt to a crisp and ruined, sure, but nothing could compare to how he constantly ruins the one beautiful thing that has ever happened to him, who haphazardly spilled her smoothie on him when they first bumped into each other in Shinjuku just after he finally cashed in enough money with Shiu to get his laundry done.

Toji, whose senses have now been honed to pick up on the slightest of your sluggish movements and your pained and suppressed hisses, hears the bedsheets rustling and he instantly gets up before you could even force yourself out of bed. “Hey, hey, easy now.” He catches you before you could fall backwards onto the mattress, your skin appears cold and clammy, your thinning muscles stiff as a board — you must be having one of your episodes again. “What do you need?” he asks, his voice heartbreakingly gentle for the first time in months.

“Water.”

Your husband nods, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed, hurriedly making his way to the dining table which was now kept in your bedroom so you aren’t forced to move around too much. The sound of water splashing into the glass fills the air and you feel another stabbing pain coarse through your joints.

Toji gingerly brings the glass of water to your lips and you sighed, an exasperated yet amused smile on your face. “I can do it, babe. Don’t worry.” Why did that sound like you were trying to convince not just Toji but yourself? You bring your bony hands to grip the glass and it takes everything out of your husband not to break into a fit of sobs when he sees your hand violently shaking with effort just to keep the glass steady.

His larger hands close around your defeated one. “I-I…I can do it, I did it yesterday. Y-you saw me.”

“Shhh, I know, it’s okay.”

You bite your lip to distract yourself from the anguish of realizing the truth behind the doctor’s words. Everything you feared was finally becoming your and Toji’s bleak reality.

“It’ll be a painful decline.”

Funny how you’re the one fighting to extend your life but Toji feels like he’s already gone ahead and passed on. Just a few minutes earlier, you were overjoyed to see him again. You didn’t think he’d see your text thinking that his new girlfriend must have asked him to block your number, and you most certainly didn’t expect him to arrive when you asked for him via a brief phone call to drive you to the hospital for your monthly checkup since he took the car with him when you separated. He made up a bullshit excuse when Yuko asked where he was going in such a hurry and he makes it to your old shared apartment to see you sitting on the driveway looking thinner and sicklier than ever — your eyes were sunken, and your cheeks were hollow.

Yet in spite of that, you gave him the brightest of smiles, waving shyly to him as he steps out of the driver’s seat. “Happy morning!” you smiled, greeting him with your signature good morning tagline which he used to happily wake up to everyday. There wasn’t a scintilla of resentfulness in your demeanor, and you genuinely looked so happy to see him for the first time since he moved out.

“How long?” Toji asked the doctor, his heart twisted into knots when he hears you happily humming in the MRI room as you put your clothes back on, oblivious to the solemn mood in the other room. You already knew what was going on, but you’ll just continue pretending that everything’s alright and that this is nothing more but a case of fatigue so as not to inconvenience Toji.

“A year, maybe even less.”

“And…you’re saying it’s best if she simply…doesn’t get the treatment?”

The doctor sighs heavily. She’s seen many cases like this before, but none as utterly hopeless as yours. Even if you did start the treatment, the lesions in your spinal cord have already entered the most severe stage, you were already exhibiting signs of autonomic nervous system distress — the tremors, the uncontrollable stuttering of your words, the growing loss of balance — and as if that wasn’t enough, the doctor also discovers that you were suffering from primary osteosarcoma.

There was no way to cure you now that it’s too late.

“I suggest we just focus on keeping her comfortable. The only thing left for us to do now is to bring her home. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re so fucking embarrassing. I can’t bring you anywhere.”

By some miracle, you and Toji went out one night around four months before the divorce proceedings. He went home that day, exhausted beyond all belief from another mission, but he was in a good mood. Yuko was out working late tonight, so, he decides to take you out to your and his favorite izakaya for some yakitori.

Some time during the night, after downing three full bottles of sake together, you excuse yourself to use the restroom. “I’ll be right back,” you told Toji, tipsily kissing him on the cheek as you hop off the bar stool in the direction of the women’s room.

You couldn’t tell if you were staggering from the copious amounts of alcohol you ingested, but your legs were beginning to feel heavy, and for some ominous reason, you were slowly losing all sensation in your left leg. You try to hold onto one of the izakaya’s shōji panel decor pieces to regain your balance, but it was a futile effort in the end. Your knees suddenly buckle, and a sickening crack tears through your tibia as you fall to the ground.

“Are you alright?!”

Toji picks up on the commotion instantly and he sees the izakaya patrons crowding around the hallway leading to the restroom. He quickly makes his way over and a look of disgust appears on his features when he sees you crumpled on the ground and the mortifying sight of you having relieved yourself on the floor, tears of embarrassment staining your cheeks at the thought of your body suddenly malfunctioning like this.

Muttering out an ignorant apology for his seemingly drunk wife, he roughly picks you up, growing increasingly infuriated with you when one izakaya employee offers him a damp cloth to dry out your urine with. It was funny how quickly other people came to your aid — people whose names you don’t even know — while your own husband seems very reluctant to even touch you right now. He doesn’t speak to you on the way home even as you apologize while he’s loading you into the car, grimacing when the leather seat gets wet. “Toji, I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what happened—“

“—Save it.”

What he should have said was: “Are you okay?”, “It’s alright.” or better yet, “I still love you.”.

At present, Toji decides on a whim to take you to Yokohama’s famed bayside today. It’s only a two hour drive from your place in Tokyo and Toji figures you must miss going on road trips by now with you cooped up at home all the time. “Toji, are you sure this is a good idea?” you murmured nervously as the car pulls to a stop by the bayside promenade. What happens if you can’t control yourself again? There doesn’t look to be a lot of public restrooms nearby.

Toji plants a reassuring kiss to your nose. “Babe, you remember what the doctor said, spending some time outdoors can do wonders for your health. Besides, didn’t you always love the coast?” He brings your hand to his scarred lips, rubbing his thumb against the soft skin before stepping out of the car to retrieve your wheelchair from the trunk.

“I know but what if I have another accident?” you said worriedly, rolling down the car windows so he could hear you. “What if I embarrass you again?”

“There’s nothing embarrassing about you.”

You’ve lost all control of your lower extremities three months ago, rendering you unable to walk and feel when you need to relieve yourself. Toji struggles with the wheelchair for a bit and a flash of sadness fills your heart when you see him take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He wasn’t angry, he was devastated. He looks wistfully at the boardwalk, a distant gaze trained on the sea. He remembers when you used to walk down this very lane, his hand protectively around your waist as you happily take selfies. He could still hear your fond giggles the last time the two of you went here.

“Why don’t you ever smile when I take pictures of you?”

Toji shoos away a pigeon from stealing a bite of his ice cream sandwich. He feigns an unamused look when you try to take another picture of him on your phone.

“Come on, I’ve been trying to get a shot of you all day! You still have to take pictures of me so I can post it on my Instagram feed!”

Your ever moody husband pinches off a small piece of bread and feeds it to the nosy pigeon. “You and your precious feed,” he bemoans jokingly.

“Please? Just one picture!“ you playfully nudged him. Truthfully, you just wanted to see him smile for once, a genuine one and not one of those lopsided smirks he usually gives you when he’s teasing you. “Please?” you pout knowing he can never say no to that adorable face you make when you really want him to do something or worse, buy something for you.

Sighing, he turns to look at your phone’s camera lens and you blush when a smile slowly illuminates his usually stoic face. Your thumb hovers over the stop recording function, not realizing you’re taking a video, but you can’t seem to press it. “What’s taking so long?” he holds the smile like he’s some cartoon character and you snap out of it.

“Oh shoot, it’s a video!” you laughed, and you begin to run down the boardwalk, eagerly getting away from Toji who demands that you delete it immediately. Of course, you’re no match for his borderline inhuman speed attributed to his athletic physique and he catches you by the waist, playfully swinging you over his shoulder like you’re a sack of potatoes.

Now, your giggles have gone silent.

Toji realizes now he should have indulged you more over the course of your relationship and subsequent marriage. Had he known that you won’t even make it to your third wedding anniversary, he would have allowed you to take as many pictures and videos of him as you’d like, he’d swallow his pride and he’d give you the brightest of smiles so you could happily post him on your social media accounts with a heartwarming caption about him being your “smiley hubby”.

More than that though, he should have taken more photos of you, mostly stolen candid shots, of course. You can’t catch him being all soft on you now. He still has a reputation to live up to after all. But more than that, had he known that your illness was intent on stealing every scrap of you from him, he should have made more effort in preserving all these memories. He should have kept everything from those toll tickets on your late night drives together when the two of you just needed a quick escape from the world, to receipts from your trip to Tokyo Disney Sea on your first wedding anniversary, and even simple convenience store receipts.

Toji should have kept everything down to the smallest of memories knowing one day, that’s all he’ll have to remember you by.

He opens the passenger seat’s door and he effortlessly gathers you into his arms, being extra careful with your fragile form as he sits you down on the wheelchair. He opens the backseat and he pulls out two different colored blankets, one sea-foam green and the other, rose pink. “Take your pick,” he smiles at you and you chuckled softly, pointing to the rose pink one. He happily covers your legs with it to keep you warm, stroking your cheek when you whisper a bashful ‘thank you’.

Suddenly, the wind picks up and your hair-clip that’s holding your locks in a low bun comes loose, and your head turns in the direction of where it flew off to. Toji is quick to take out his phone and he snaps a quick burst shot of you, your hair blowing in the wind, under the coastal spring weather. You turn to look at him and your face falls when you see him burying his phone in his pocket. Since you fell ill, you’ve become insecure of your appearance, banning your husband from taking pictures and videos of you altogether. “Toji, I thought I said no pictures.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

The next day, you serendipitously find your photo on your Instagram handle with the caption: “Y/N — Yokohama, Spring, 2024” and when you swipe left, another picture, well to be more accurate, a screenshot of the video clip you accidentally took of him captioned: “Toji — Yokohama, Summer, 2022”.

“You don’t have to stick around for me. Please just go, I’m sure Yuko must be looking for you right now.”

Yuko, his new fiancé, had been blowing up his phone the entire day with texts demanding to know where he is and if he’s going to make it to their date that night. It’s 7 PM now, and Toji still hasn’t shown up to confirm their restaurant reservations. The damn witch will surely cuss him out when they see each other again, but for some reason, even if he tries, he simply cannot bring himself to give a flying fuck. Your immunologist and oncologist stepped out for a bit to allow you two a brief moment of privacy which had now stretched to an expanse of five hours since your results came in.

The air in the room is thick and heavy, not a single sound can be heard. Inside however, underneath this tough exterior he was projecting, Toji is throwing a fit, screaming at the sky like those broken men in those shitty Netflix romance tragedies he used to callously make fun of.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner? You knew, didn’t you?”

Toji’s bites his cheek trying to keep a lid on his emotions. He knows the answer. He just wants to hear you say it out loud. You hated him. You wanted nothing to do with him after he cheated on you with some girl he met at a bar in uptown Shibuya. That’s why you didn’t tell him, he didn’t deserve to know. “Shit,” he whispers harshly, crumpling the medical abstract in his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me you were sick? Was it because you hated me? Is that it? You didn’t think I’d worry about you?”

You screwed your eyes shut, shaking your head. You didn’t hate him, not even when you have every reason to. He abandoned you, left you to waste away and to die and yet, even now, you can’t bring yourself to resent him for the simple reason that he is the literal love of your life, the reason behind your smiles, your happy mornings and passionate midnight hours. “At first, I thought I was fine, maybe just fatigued or something.”

“Don’t lie. You knew something was going on and that something in your body was seriously fucked up.”

“And we weren’t married anymore so, I didn’t think it was right to tell you…I wanted to though, but I didn’t want to intrude on you and Yuko,” you said meekly. Even in your greatest hour of need, you were still thinking of him, putting him first even when he doesn’t deserve it. “I-I…I don’t hate you enough to worry you, to make you feel that you could have done something to prevent this. Because I’m telling you right now, regardless if you were faithful or not, I was bound to get sick anyway. You couldn’t have done anything to change that.”

“But I could have been there. I should have noticed. I shouldn’t have downplayed everything.” He says this as if he wants to shake this noble, self-sacrificing bullshit attitude out of your system. “I’m your husband. I should have been there.”

You flash him a heartbroken smile at his little slip-up, so, even now, he was still referring to himself as your husband, not your ex-husband. “To see me waste away? Babe, I don’t want you to see that.”

You begin to feel tears streaming down your face, the emotions you were experiencing now flowing like a free river after an entire dam is destroyed. Toji watches you unravel before his eyes and his bottom lip begins to tremble. What has he done? Dear god, what has he done to his poor, poor wife?

“I want you to remember me healthy, I want you to remember me as myself not this…sickly pitiful woman you’re unlucky to call your ex-wife…besides, after all this, I’ll only be a dream.” A mere passing second in his life. “And believe me, my life wasn’t so bad.”

He loses it at that.

“Just stop this, Y/N! Stop acting like you’re not scared shitless of dying, like you’re not gonna have regrets once all this is over! Stop pretending that things are gonna be alright one day because it won’t! Not when I’m now being forced to accept that you won’t get better, not when I’ve wasted so much time putting you through hell and back instead of taking care of you like a proper husband should, and certainly not when I’m suddenly supposed to learn to say goodbye and to live without you! Because fuck that, Y/N!”

You are left speechless at that.

Toji was never one to lose his cool, even during your worst arguments, he may slide a few snarky remarks here and there but Toji Fushiguro…never yells, and he doesn’t sob either.

You hesitantly stand up and walk over to him, crouching down in front of him as he covers his tear-stained eyes with his right hand while the other is crumpled around your medical abstract. Taking his left hand, you gently remove the medical abstract from his grip, and for the first time in so many months, you feel one another’s warm skin against each other. You press your forehead to his hand as you wept with him.

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be a dream. I want you to be real.”

“Can’t you be bothered to clean up in here?!”

You wake up from your nap, you’ve been battling muscle and joint pain the entire day, the slightest of movement causing you to double over in agony and because of that, you weren’t able to clean the apartment today. You slowly get up from the couch, being extra cautious not to make any sudden movements. “Well?” Toji presses, his lips curled into a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I was feeling a little tired,” you sighed heavily, picking up a broom to sweep the living room floor despite the excruciating pain you were in. Toji rolls his eyes, handing you a Manila envelope. “What’s this?” you asked softly, peering inside.

“Divorce papers,” he shrugs nonchalantly. Everything stops, even the very rise and fall of your chest halts into an uneasy stasis. “I already signed them. I just need your signature then, I’ll move out by tomorrow.”

You must be dreaming. That’s the only logical explanation to all this. You’re asleep, in a deep REM sleep, utterly oblivious to the world. This wasn’t happening. But you could feel the rough surface of the brown envelope, and you could still feel the agonizing stabs of white hot pain throughout your body. Glancing at Toji, you see him texting someone with an eager look on his face that screams: “I’m free.”.

Instantly, it dawns on you.

“Will she make you happy?” you asked, putting down the broom to look around for a pen but Toji pulls one he stole from the law firm office out of his pocket.

“She will,” he answers simply.

And you are indeed grateful that he is completely upfront about finding another while the two of you are married. It would have hurt much more, you silently remind yourself, if he had just upped and left without another word leaving you to wonder what went wrong between the two of you. This was Toji’s final act of mercy in your marriage, and he’s not opposed to honesty and truthfulness either. Not once did he try to change his phone’s lock-screen passcode, nor did he try to conceal the identity of the woman who was texting him every night while you slept fitfully next to him. It was almost as if he wanted you to find out, like he wanted you to know so you could back off yourself.

But if there’s one thing Toji loves about you, it’s your unending faithfulness to your promises, to your marriage vows, and your willingness to endure anything he threw at you. You never checked his phone, you never brought up his affair, you never got angry with him. You just kept silent, simply content with giving and giving…and giving while he milked you dry by taking, and taking and taking, tearing you to pieces bit by bit without hearing a single complaint fall from your lips.

You were a devoted wife, through and through.

And it bored the hell out of him, on top of your recent mishaps, he was done. Done with everything, and done with you.

“Okay.”

Come morning, he takes everything he owns with him and promptly proposes to the girl he’s been seeing for the past year. Two weeks later, your divorce is received by the Tokyo Family Court and is summarily approved and finalized. From that moment on, you and Toji went on your separate ways never to look back, you were each other’s yesterdays, and the love that existed between the two of you was nullified in favor of acquaintanceship…or so you thought.

“Y/N, I’m home!” Toji calls into the house as he comes back from your neighborhood’s pharmacy. You look up from the book you were reading, smiling ever so slightly at your husband who seemed to have a wonderful sparkle in his eyes. “Hey, kid,” he kisses the top of your head when he reaches your wheelchair.

“You seem happy,” you remarked positively.

“Well, for one, they replenished their stocks today and I managed to get you your steroids and painkillers so you’ll be able to sleep easy tonight,” Toji smiles, taking out the items from the pharmacy’s paper bag. “And I got you this neat memory foam cushion for your wheelchair.” He fluffs it up as a form of demonstration before placing it behind your back.

When he sees you smile, a sense of relief washes over Toji. You reach towards him, and he pulls you into an embrace. “Thank you,” you said, pure sincerity dripping from your voice. “For everything you do.”

“Anything for you.” He suddenly moves back and reaches into the tote bag you lended him. “Oh, and wait, before I forget, I have another surprise.”

You laughed airily. “Another surprise? Now, you’re just spoiling me!”

He pulls out a piece of paper from the tote bag and he places it in your hands as your eyes quickly scan over the document. Your breath hitches in your throat when you realize what it is. Did Toji really—? You couldn’t believe it. “A marriage pre-registration,” you said in awe. You read it again just in case to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of your sick body’s imagination, that this was real, that Toji genuinely wants to make everything right again. Your fingers skim over your typewritten names. “It has our names…we’re really—“ You can’t even finish your sentence without bursting into happy tears. “Are we—?”

Toji nods, gazing into your eyes, and as emerald and (E/C) clash for what seems to be an eternity lost in one another, he plants a kiss to your temple, coming up to embrace you from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“We are. The Tokyo Family Court, as far as I know, will approve our remarriage once we file this. So, you have to get stronger, okay?” He’s begging you at this point, despite your rapidly deteriorating condition. “Strong enough to see me fix everything. Strong enough to be there on our second wedding, strong enough to say our vows again.”

Your hand comes up to stroke his cheek from behind, and he nuzzles into your neck at your tender touch.

“I will. I promise.”

But you never really get to say your vows. Not comprehensibly anyway.

“Babe, can you say that again?”

Toji crouches by your bedside as you look at him apologetically. You were causing him trouble and pain again which is the last thing that you want to give him especially when’s fought and worked so hard to care for you, to keep prolonging this borrowed time you’re on. “To-ji. Toji.” You gaze at him apprehensibly, not really believing you can do it without crumbling.

“Come on, babe, you can do it. Say my name, please…Toji. I’m Toji.”

“Toooji-“ you slurred sadly. At this point, your Multiple Sclerosis has reached its end stage and has taken…everything from you: your ability to walk, your ability to control your muscle spasms and other bodily functions…and now, coupled with an unexpected stroke, your ability to speak. And you and Toji know that time is almost up, with you having come to accept it, while your husband still held onto hope. Your fingers gently graze over his face as best as your spasms and tremors allow you, starting from his forehead to his eyes, his nose, his cheek and finally, his lips, as if you’re memorizing it one last time. “Lo-ove you-“

Toji sniffles, and your fingers instinctively catch his warm tears. “I love you,” he whispers brokenly. “I do. I love you.”

You feel yourself tearing up as you’re forced to watch your beloved cry. And the worst part? You can’t do a thing about it. “D-oon’t c-cry—‘m okaay. Promi-miise…e’everyything ‘ill be okaaay.”

“Y-yeah,” he chuckles, trying to crack a joke even as hope dwindles. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking champ this entire time, you know? I’m so proud of you. So…so…proud that you’re still here.” He strokes your hair as you tread between the realms of the conscious and the unconscious. “Do you wanna go out today? The weather’s shit though. You’ll probably catch your death out there.” At the mention of the word ‘death’, Toji stops, falling into an uncomfortable silence.

You smile weakly at him. “Tiiredd—“

“You’re no fun,” Toji gently flicks your nose and you scrunch it up in displeasure. “Sorry,” he chuckles, holding back an entire waterfall of tears. He knows it’s today. It has to be. You woke up today without your usual ‘happy morning’ greeting, and you refused to drink anything, much less eat anything. “You tired? Any pain?”

You shake your head. You’re as comfortable as you can be for the first time in months. Hospice nurses say humans are built to live the same way they are built to die, no person in this world has ever had the uncanny privilege of being able to look up ‘How to die?’ on a quick Google search and actually find a Wikihow on the morbid subject matter, nor is there anyone else who can teach another how it’s done. It’s just something humans know how to do without a manual, deeply ingrained in the very fabric of human existence is the fear of death, the fear of what comes after, the fear of a nothingness that could follow after living such a vibrant life. Your life was short, barely spanning thirty years, but you lived well: you fell in love, you got hurt, but you fell together again. Now it all has to come to an end, Toji will just have to take care of the rest.

And you weren’t scared.

Or at least you can’t look scared, if you were to be more accurate, you have to look strong and ready to accept the cards you’ve been dealt with for Toji’s sake. When he feels your hand start to slacken, Toji intakes a sharp, shaky breath of sheer panic. “Not yet, Y/N. Please. Not yet.”

He climbs into bed with you, bringing you closer to this desperate man you call yours. There was no getting better anymore, there was no miracle he could hang onto, no deity he could beg for death to spare you, no pill bottle he could pray to. He knew that from the start. But what he witnessed these past months, you’ve been the braver one between the two of you, you knew how to make the most of the rhythm this cruel world gave you and you graciously took him along to dance to the last song of the evening with you.

“There’s still hope. Just keep your eyes open. Just keep them open.” He presses his lips to your forehead, his delusion getting the better of him. “We’ll just keep trying…you can’t leave. You have to stay. You have to.”

“Thaank yoou—“ you softly told your Toji, your voice shrinking in decibels as you become a little drowsy, sinking into the warmth of the requiem of a life well spent.

Toji listens to you, his lips pursed, intent on making this final act of love — a love that is strong enough to say goodbye — a memorable one. And should the afterlife exist, he wishes to send you off with a smile, with the reassurance that he’ll be alright even if that was far from happening.

“Toji.”

“I want you to be real. And I don’t care if we’ll live on borrowed time. Another extra second with you…is enough to last me my entire lifetime.”

4K notes · View notes

nottsangel · 17 days ago

Text

sweet relief — t.n.

pairing: best friend!theodore nott x toxic!reader

warnings: smut 18+, modern au, unprotected vaginal sex, fingering, creampie, oral sex (m. receiving), praise, toxic and obsessive behaviour, mentions of threats, mentions of taking/using explicit photos

word count: 4.7k

summary: best friends is all you and theodore were, but the jealousy of seeing him with someone else was suffocating, driving you to take matters into your own hands.

♪ madison beer — sweet relief. moodboard. nav. more.

“Theo?” you softly called out to your best friend, who was too fixated on his phone, grinning uncontrollably at the bright screen as he quickly typed away. Fresh from Quidditch practice, his brown tousled locks looked even darker than usual, still damp from the shower he took, and his handsome face flushed from the warmth. You studied every single detail of his face, from his ocean-blue eyes to his soft, pink lips.

Lost in admiration, you nibbled on your bottom lip, picking at your nails as he simply hummed in response, not even glancing up from his phone. Normally, you’d get annoyed, moping about how he didn’t pay enough attention to you, but before you even could, your eyes were then drawn from his face to his quick fingers—swiftly moving over the glowing screen—leaving you with a strange, unexplainable feeling.

You caught yourself fantasising about filthy thoughts that made you feel a rush of shame, but still, you couldn’t help it. It was hard not to imagine how your best friend’s long, deft fingers would feel deep inside of you as they—

“Alright.” Theo abruptly mumbled, causing you to flinch, snapping you out of your trance before your thoughts could wander further. He locked his black, metal phone and quickly stuffed it into his pocket as he rose to his feet, your eyes intently following his every movement, frustration clear on your face.

“I’ve—” “gotta go, yeah.” you finished his sentence, a hint of disappointment evident in your voice, yet he couldn’t help but grin at your pouty expression, only finding your clingy behaviour endearing. He stepped closer, gripping your jaw affectionately and tilting your head up until your eyes met his, the innocent, doe-like gaze you gave him made him weak in the knees.

“We can hang out later if you want, alright? Just text me, bella. I’ll make time for you.” he murmured in a soothing tone, unconsciously causing a small smile to tug at your lips and your furrowed brows to soften, eventually nodding in agreement.

“Good girl.” He nonchalantly gave you a quick wink that made your stomach flip as he gently rubbed his thumb over your warm cheek, and you so desperately wanted to keep him close to you, his absence weighing heavy on you each time, yet, you watched him leave the room, making you wonder what he was up to.

But you had your suspicions about where he could be. It wasn’t a secret that he was a player, just like all his friends, with some different girl in his room almost daily. And fuck, it drove you crazy. The thought of him being with someone else filled you with heartache. It was difficult for you. He was yours.

A few hours passed of you aimlessly scrolling on your phone in the common room, but you already missed his comfortable presence around you. His warmth, the subtle touches, and his charming Italian accent that never failed to make your heart skip a beat— you needed him close to you again, so you opened your messages.

You : Are you free? I’m bored! :(

Teddy 🧸 : Busy.

Yup. That was all the confirmation you needed. The short, cryptic text said it all— he was with a girl right now. Fuck fuck fuck. Your relaxed, bored state instantly shifted into rage as sheer jealousy rushed through your entire body, causing you to unconsciously clench your jaw and ball your fists.

It honestly baffled you how girls still dared to come near him, especially considering how many of them you’d already threatened. Yes, threatened. It was no secret among your fellow female students that you were crazy possessive over Theodore— you’d go to great lengths to keep them away from him. He was yours, for fuck’s sake, and you’d do anything to keep it that way.

Take last week, for instance, when you subtly slipped a menacing note in a girl’s bag after seeing leave Theo’s dorm the night before, sternly warning her that if she ever dared to come near him again, she would deeply regret it.

Or the week before that, when you somehow got a hold of nudes—through Lorenzo, of course—of a girl who had been hooking up with Theo, essentially blackmailing her with them. Don’t worry, you weren’t going to spread the nudes anyway— no, you weren’t that cruel. And you knew it didn’t even have to get that far because they always seemed to back off instantly, leaving you satisfied and happy.

And those weren’t the only times you threatened or intimidated girls that have slept with Theo, and it most likely won’t be the last either if he keeps sleeping around like that. Dickhead.

And although you explicitly told every single girl not to mention it to Theo whenever you ‘warned’ them, you were certain he had gotten wind of it somehow, considering how fast news spreads in hogwarts. But surprisingly, he had never confronted you with it, still treating you the same way like he always did. You didn’t know why or how, but you also didn’t care. The only thing you cared about was protecting your friendship with him.

You quickly rose to your feet, your hand gripping your phone so tightly, it was a wonder it didn’t shatter in a million pieces by the force you were holding it before hurriedly making your way to the Slytherin dorms, your heartbeat rising with each determined step bringing you closer to Theo’s room.

With your head held high and tension furrowing your brows, you strode through the chilly hallways, the cold air forming goosebumps on your exposed arms and legs, but you didn’t even seem to notice as you stomped your feet forward, your resolute steps echoing as you neared his door.

When you finally stood in front of it, your hand reluctantly reached for the handle, but you hesitated, pausing for a moment before eventually pulling back. Instead of opening the door right away, you pressed your ear carefully against the wood, trying to catch any sounds coming from inside his dorm room.

As you closely focused on listening, a group of younger students caught your attention, slowing their pace as they noticed you with your ear pressed against a male student’s dorm room door, their puzzled stares lingering on you.

“What are you looking at? Go!” you whisper-yelled in an urgent and stern tone, dismissively waving your hand in the air as they snap out of their trances and quickly rush off, a smug smile forming on your lips at how easily they obeyed.

Letting out a sigh, you pressed your ear to the door again, your eyes narrowing in concentration as you were holding the doorframe for leverage. Your grip gradually tightened as the sounds from inside grew clearer— loud, high-pitched moans, and a string of ‘Fuck, theo!’s resonated through the wooden door, and you were fighting the urge to punch a hole right through it, but instead your hand drifted down to the door handle.

Without thinking, you pulled it down, and your eyes widened in shock when you realised he hadn’t even bothered to lock it. You impulsively swung the door open without a second though, your heart pounding in your throat as a sudden scream filled the air.

The scene in front of you made your blood boil. A blonde girl—one you recognised from shared classes—frantically grabbed the white sheets to cover her completely naked body while Theo was hovering above her, his eyes locking with yours, yet surprisingly, he didn’t seem fazed in the slightest.

Your eyes were irresistibly drawn to Theo’s throbbing erection, widening in shock when you realised he was bigger than you ever imagined, desire twisting in your stomach. But you were quickly snapped back to reality by the girl’s shrill, grating voice, pulling you out of the daze.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” She screamed, her baby blue eyes narrowing in anger, her tousled blonde locks framing her flushed face and her chest heaving rapidly beneath the sheets. Oh, this fucking bitch.

“Teddy, I’m—I’m so sorry but do you have my dress in your closet? You know, the red one? I just really need it right now…” You lied, biting your lip with your brows furrowed, putting on your best act. A small chuckle escaped his lips, amazed by your terrible timing, yet still finding it adorable, his relaxed demeanour only infuriating her more.

“Yeah, sure. Hang on a second.” The girl scoffed, glaring at Theo, and you could practically see steam coming out of her ears— but Theo didn’t even acknowledge her, his eyes fixed on you as he flashed you a warm smile that made your face heat up.

“Seriously?! You’re helping her? Now?” Theo simply ignored her, quickly pulling on his boxers as he nonchalantly walked to his closet, his back turned to both you and the girl. For the first time, your eyes locked with her blue ones, and you flashed her a mocking, sly grin. The sweet, innocent facade you put on instantly faded, shifting into one of triumph.

“Here you go, amore.” Theo’s stunning eyes met yours, offering a sweet, sympathetic smile as he handed you the dress, his hand brushing against yours and it felt like time stood still for a moment, gazing up at him through your eyelashes with sparkling eyes until—

“She’s being fucking annoying, can’t you see that?” Lost in Theo’s eyes, you nearly forgot she was in the room as well as she scoffed once more, shaking her head with a sneer, her lip curling and her brows furrowed, “This bitch is doing this on pur—”

“Don’t you fucking dare talk about her like that, you hear me?” Theo suddenly spat, taking quick steps towards her, pointing a threatening finger right into her shocked face.

His demeanour shifted in mere seconds. It even shocked you for a moment— it wasn’t a side of Theo you’d seen before, at least not with girls. He always stood up for you when guys mistreated you, but this… This was different, and ohhh, it made your heart swell. The way fear flashing in her eyes sent a thrilling rush of warmth and affection through you.

“But… Teddy—” Teddy. That was your nickname for Theo. By now, your fists were gripping the dress so tightly that your sharp nails had punctured the delicate fabric, your jaw clenched in sheer anger, barely holding back the rage simmering beneath the surface. Still, you fought to maintain the facade of the sweet, oblivious girl.

“Get out.” Theo ordered in a low, stern tone, a tiny, mischievous smile tugging at one of the corners of your mouth as you watched the scene unfold in front of you with great satisfaction. The girl’s eyes darted from Theo to you and back to him in utter disbelief.

“Are you fucking serious? You’re gonna kick me—”

“I said… get the fuck out.” Theo repeated himself, and you could tell each emphasised, stinging word hit the girl like a slap to the face as she briefly stared at him before hastily putting on her clothes. She quickly left the room, her shoulder deliberately bumping into yours followed by aggressively slamming the door behind her.

Theo then turned to you, his fierce expression instantly softening as he approached you and brushed his thumb over your heated cheek, causing your head to slyly turn away. It worked. He actually fell for it.

“Sorry about that, cara mia. Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, she was just… so mean. I—” Theo let out a light chuckle, clearly amused by you. He shook his head in disbelief, his eyes momentarily leaving yours before landing back on your face, his gaze darting from your left eye to your right eye and down to your lips, causing you to squint. Is he doing the fucking triangle metho—

“You can drop the act, bella.” He growled, his voice deeper and darker now. You tried to focus, to regain your composure, but you felt lightheaded, your breathing shaky and weak as he stood before you in merely his tight boxers, the outline of his semi-hard cock visible through the thin fabric and his body from years of Quidditch muscular and sculpted.

When you realised that you were staring, you then quickly looked up at him with a faux puzzled expression, your head slightly tilted and your eyes widened in surprise.

“What? You think I didn’t know?”

“I—, uh, I don’t know what—” you stammered, trying to lie your way out of this mess you were in, but it was no use.

“Oh come on, baby. I’m a bit offended that you think I’m that dumb.” He taunted, and you felt your heart drop. He knew.

“You think I don’t know about you threatening all these girls? Huh? You’re so adorable.” You blinked rapidly, unsure if you’d heard him right. You had been convinced that if he ever found out what you’d been doing behind his back, it would be the end of your friendship. For good.

“Listen, alright? I just— I didn’t have a fucking choice! All these girls were all over you, trying to steal you from me… from me! They had no fucking respect for us and—“ You frantically spewed out words a thousand miles a minute, desperate to defend yourself, but you were abruptly cut off when he reached behind your thighs and lifted you up, drawing a surprised squeal from your lips. Instinctively, you wrapped your legs around his bare upper body as he carried you and pressed your back firmly against the cold stone wall.

You felt his steady heartbeat against your body from how close he was to you, and you were certain he could hear your own heart pounding out of your chest as his fingers dug into the skin of your thighs. This was the closest you two have ever been, and it left you breathless.

“Is this what you wanted all this time, tesoro? For me to fuck you like I fuck all these others girls?”

It was.

He drew his head nearer to yours until his soft lips were merely inches from your ear, his warm breath on your heated skin sending electric shivers down your spine.

“Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you even better.”

Before you could even react, he walked you over to his bed and tossed you onto it, your body bouncing slightly from the impact. Without hesitation, you spread your legs, inviting him in, and he immediately climbed on top of you, his towering frame completely covering your entire body as his hands pressed into the mattress on either side of your head, his crotch pressed against your throbbing core.

Your panties were absolutely drenched as your breath hitched, his hips grinding in slow, deliberate movements against yours, and god, you were floating on cloud nine, desperately trying to savour every intoxicating second of this moment. His hand found your jaw, fingers gliding sensually up your soft skin before tilting your head to the side to expose your neck.

Instantly, he latched his lips onto your flesh, sloppily sucking dark love bites that made your heart race. You gasped at the sensation of him biting, nipping, and kissing your sensitive sweet spots, sending waves of pleasure through you. Your eyes gradually fluttered shut, arms wrapping tightly around his neck— but then, an uncontrollable sound of disgust escaped you as your nose pressed into his satin sheets, pulling you sharply out of the heated moment.

“What’s wrong, amore?”

“It just— it smells like… her.” Theo couldn’t help but laugh, slowly pulling back from your neck, clearly amused by your endearing yet possessive behaviour, his lips quirking into a playful grin.

He bit his lip as he intently stared at your annoyed expression, his face merely inches away from you, a combination of his aromatic cologne and smoky cigarettes flooding your senses. The scent was so distinctively him, causing you to take another subtle sniff.

“Let me distract you.”

His soft lips were suddenly pressed against yours, completely catching you off guard as your eyes momentarily widened, but you gradually melted into the heated kiss, your hand slowly trailing up his toned, bare back before landing on the back of his head, desperately pulling him closer. You felt blood rush to your core as your tongues danced against each other so effortlessly and so perfectly, your fingers running through his dishevelled, brown locks as he gently tilted his head, deepening the kiss further.

At the same time, his firm hand wandered down your body, fingers gliding over your silken skin until they reached your clothed core, his hand pressing against one of your inner thighs to spread your legs further apart. Teasingly, he toyed with the elastic waistband of your skirt for a moment, eliciting a frustrated, impatient groan from you before finally sliding it off, carelessly tossing it to the ground.

His roaming hand then found its way back between your legs, gently rubbing your aching cunt over your soaked panties, a teasing, devilish smirk playing on his lips that you could feel through the passionate kiss before he slowly pulled back, leaving you breathless.

“This wet already? You know you could’ve just asked me to fuck you, tesoro. No need to threaten all those poor girls.”

“Yeah… right.” You scoffed, finding it hard to believe as your eyes briefly flickered away from his, a wave of scepticism washing over you.

With intense eyes locked onto yours, he slid your lace panties down, mindlessly tossing them to the floor as well before peeling away the rest of clothing, leaving you fully naked under him, surrounded by a chaotic pile of fabric on the wooden floor.

He paused for a moment to admire your breathtaking figure, eyes hungrily scanning every inch of your body, from your dripping cunt to your tits and hardened nipples. He bit his lip as he felt his painfully hard erection pressing against the thin fabric of his boxers, forming a damp patch of precum.

“Oh, c’mon bella.”

Theo’s fingers hovered tantalisingly over your core, causing you to instinctively buck your hips upwards, desperately craving to feel them inside of you as he crawled on top of you again, piercing, lust-filled eyes staring right into your soul.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment.”

Oh, fuck. He slowly pushed his long fingers into your dripping cunt—two at a time—stretching you until he was knuckles deep inside of you, causing you to arch your back at the overwhelming sensation, your lips parting in ecstasy. The tips of his digits found your g-spot in no time, swiftly rubbing against the spongy surface as you desperately gripped his flexed arm, your sharp nails digging into the skin.

“Every time I was fucking one of those girls, I closed my eyes and imagined it being you, cara mia.”

His words rushed straight to your core, causing you to clench tightly around his fast fingers as every muscle in your body tightened in response. He couldn’t help but smirk at the instant reaction, only egging him on to increase his pace. His fingers curled up so perfectly, pumping in and out of your dripping cunt with slick, wet sounds along with your breathy moans echoing through his dorm room.

You were so close to the edge, the intense pleasure building as his fingers quickened their pace, until he suddenly came to a halt and pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the sudden emptiness.

“Theo! What the f—”

“Ah, ah, ah; don’t whine. I need to feel you cum around my cock, alright?” He growled, his voice dripping with raw lust at just the thought of you wrapped around his cock. In one swift motion, he quickly removed his boxers, his throbbing cock springing free against his stomach, the tip slick with glistening precum as you nearly drooled at the sight.

He pressed his strong palms against your inner thighs, spreading your legs wide as he positioned himself in front of you, but you unexpectedly stopped him, making him raise a curious brow.

“Wait… just— uhm… let me suck your dick first… please?” you begged, your voice laced with desperation as his surprised eyes shifted into dark, lustful ones. He immediately beckoned for you to move in front of him as he leaned back on the bed, his back resting against the headboard, his hands casually tucked behind his head.

“Well… you don’t have to ask me twice, pretty girl.”

Finally. It felt like a dream come true. You positioned yourself on your knees in front of him, your eyes intensely fixated on his huge, pulsating cock, practically begging for you to suck it. You slowly drew nearer, teasing him as he felt your warm breath ghosting over his sensitive skin, his hips impatiently bucking up in response.

With one hand wrapped firmly around the base and the other resting on his flexed thigh, you began to give it gentle, playful kitten licks, your tongue flicking delicately against the tip, earning a low hiss from Theo as you tasted the salty precum. It didn’t take long before you took him fully into your mouth, slowly moving down until your lips made contact with his balls and the tip touched the back of your throat. One of his hands unconsciously travelled to your head, fingers tangling in your hair.

“Oh, fuck, baby. Just like that.” Theo praised, a deep sense of pride swelling in your chest as you lightly gagged on his length before pulling your head back up. Your tongue swirled over the most sensitive parts of the tip as you retracted, a combination of drool and precum coating your swollen lips, trickling down onto his balls.

“Give me your phone, please.” you suddenly asked, catching Theo off guard. He tilted his head in confusion, yet without further questions, reached for it from his nightstand and handed it over to you with a hint of curiosity.

“My password is—”

“Yeah, I know.”

You mindlessly unlocked his phone, his lips parting to speak, but before he could utter a word, you had already wrapped your lips around his pulsating cock once more, causing him to throw his head back in pleasurable surprise. As you swiped across the screen, you finally found the camera app and held the phone up high in the air, angling it towards your face while simultaneously bobbing your head up and down, eyes staring directly into the camera lens.

“Oh, shit. You’re— you’re fuckin’ crazy, cazzo.” he let out a breathless, disbelieving laugh, his voice thick with both admiration and raw desire, staring down at you through half-lidded eyes and a cheeky, lopsided smirk dancing on his lips.

Snap. Snap. Snap. You took several pictures from different angles, your mouth stuffed full with Theo’s cock as he now held your hair back in a ponytail, guiding your head up and down his erection, making you gag each time it hit the back of your throat. You quickly locked his phone again and tossed it aside, your focus snapping back to his cock as you immediately increased your pace, causing Theo to grip your hair tighter, desperately trying to stop you.

“Ah, ah, careful… you’re gonna make me cum, baby, fuck.” he warned, insinuating that he wasn’t ready to finish just yet. You slowly pulled away, giving him a teasing smile, your lips slick and swollen.

“C’mere.” he growled, taking your hand and dragging you effortlessly on top of him, his wandering hands trailing possessively over your back to your ass, before he flipped you over in one swift motion with Theo ending on top of you, a predatory grin plastered across his face.

“You didn’t think we were done, did you?” he taunted, a lustful gleam sparkling in his eyes with his aching erection pressed against your thigh. His warm breath ghosted over your skin as his lips brushed against your ear, sending shivers racing down your spine.

“Listen… I will fuck you until you’re dripping with my cum. Until you’re screaming my name. Until you can’t fuckin’ walk anymore.” His words gave you chills all over your body as your arousal began to trickle down your thighs, leaving a messy trail over your legs.

“‘Cause that’s what you wanted all this time, isn’t it?” Theo moved back and pumped his cock a few times, his impatience evident in every motion. He positioned himself between your legs and finally pushed into you, his arms caging you under him as he hissed at the feeling of you wrapped around his cock. He gave you a moment to let you adjust to his size, his cock completely filling you up as he was buried balls deep inside of you.

Him, inside you, felt so intoxicating, better than anything you could’ve ever imagined, both of you consumed by tremendous levels of passion and lust. He started slow, dragging out each deep thrust, making you feel every inch of him as he stretched you completely, massaging your inner walls so perfectly.

“Baby… you look so beautiful like this… So fucking sexy.” he managed to mutter in between ragged breaths, making you moan loudly as he gradually increased his pace, relentlessly pounding into you now.

“My. Favourite. Girl.” he praised, each word punctuated by deep thrusts as his lips captured yours in a heated kiss, moaning into your mouth. And you— god, you felt better than he ever imagined, so tight and warm, perfectly wrapped around him, as if you were made for him.

“So fucking big, oh my god” you moaned breathlessly, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck, pulling him closer until your sweaty bodies were pressed together.

You hooked your legs around his muscular torso, giving him an angle to go even deeper as his cock hit your g-spot over and over. Theo clutched the sheets, his knuckles turning white with his head buried in the crook of your neck, desperately trying to hold back, to not cum too soon— but fuck, you felt incredible, squeezing him so perfectly.

“Yes, yes, yes, right there!” you cried out, your voice shaking from pleasure and your eyes rolling to the back of your head in pure bliss.

“Taking my cock so well, amore, fuck” he growled, his voice deep and strained and his pace brutal, causing you to cling onto his broad shoulders, nails digging deep into his skin. His lips moved frantically across your neck, planting wet, sloppy kisses all over your skin as his hand crept to your core, rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit all while still maintaining his brutal pace.

“Theo, oh- oh my fucking god, I’m almost—”

“Let go for me, baby.” he whispered huskily into your ear as his fingers worked faster. It didn’t take long before he pushed you over the edge, causing you to arch your back and moan his name over and over again, your nails dragging down the length of his back, leaving red trails all over his skin.

“Atta girl. Doin’ so good for me.” He groaned through gritted teeth as his thrusts grew sloppier, less controlled. He breathlessly moaned your name so beautifully as his orgasm hit him, emptying himself inside you and filling you to the brim with his cum. He slowed his movements, gently riding out both of your highs, before carefully pulling out and collapsing next to you, his arm wrapping around you, both your breathing ragged and uneven.

You sluggishly grabbed his phone from the nightstand again, unlocking it with determined fingers, your chest heaving up and down as you scrolled through his messages. The screen lit up with dozens of texts— girls asking to hook up, sending him nudes. The anger you’d felt before instantly surged back, tightening in your chest.

“What are you doing?” Theo questioned, his eyes narrowing as he followed the movements of your fingers across the bright screen, a puzzled expression on his face.

“Making sure none of these girls ever talk to you again.” You smirked with a mischievous glint in your eyes as you scrolled through each chat, sending the pictures from earlier to every single girl in his phone. A self-satisfied, smug grin stretched across your lips as you watched the messages go through, one by one.

“You’re fucking insane, you know that?” Theo chuckled, shaking his head in both disbelief and amusement, yet clearly turned on by your boldness.

“That's why you’re my favourite.”

reminder: reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated. ty! ♡

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