#this literally took me 2 days to do
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Way to start a morning
#going thru my old folders and found this forgotten gem#literally at AWE#this took me like 2-3 whole days to ginish#i wish i still had that much time&energy to do smth like this again#whatever happened to me💀#myart#jjba#vento aureo#guido mista#narancia ghirga#pannacotta fugo
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Autumn-disiac (Link x Reader) SMUT
a/n: sorry i've been gone for awhile! here's some ~fun stuff~ to make up for lost time ;) i haven't really written anything in awhile, so please bear with me as i get back into the swing of things!
cw: minors dni, afab!reader, link going FERAL over his meal :), reader is just a sobbing horny mess LOL, praising, cunnilingus, overstimulation, porn w/o plot, christ what the hell did i write
wc: 595
♤♢ ~~ ♡♧
The return of autumn heralded many things. Those sick of summer's swelter happily traded in sweat-yellowed tank tops for cozy, chunky knit cardigans. Fur-lined pants and leaf-patterned smocks replaced rustic shorts, and other summer apparel was shelved for the next growing season. Mothers' calls for their children chime earlier and earlier, paralleling the harvest darkness that encroached sooner in the day. Heroic epics crafted from the day's play are often discarded at the door, forgotten, as children are embraced by their mothers first and the smells of her cooking second.
Beyond the intimate comforts of home lie the wilds, which have since been shadowed with deep magenta. A thin spray of mist rolled down the hills, carrying with it the softest hint of moved air. The breeze, chilled by the beginnings of the harvest season, lapped at a set of blurry windows fogged from within.
A tongue, moistened with your sweetness and honeyed with sinful whispers, dragged the edge of ecstatic muscle up and down your abused folds. A brittle sob erupted from your chest as you tossed sweat-pressed locks from your forehead.
"L-Link, we've been at this for hours..."
"I know, baby, I know. You're doing so well. Just one more round, okay? You know how much I need this sweet pussy."
Your beloved's sultry purr rumbled through your core, sending bolts of electricity through pleasure-numbed nerves. Calloused palms sunk into your soft, supple thighs as he urged you forward and back with a gentle sway.
"Mm... Rock your hips for me... That's it, that's it, love..."
The sounds of desperate suckling and pussy-drunk groans brimmed the air with sickeningly sweet depravity. The musk of hours-long sex perfumed your senses into a mindless, blissed-out mush, electrified only by the occasional flick of your clit or the teasing teething from the man below. Leaning back slightly, you rested your shaky arms atop Link's thighs, doing little to still his erratic and involuntary pistoning--a futile attempt to fuck the hole he was currently feasting.
"That's it, hun, lean on me. I'll take care of ya, promise."
That all-too familiar tension was mounting deep in your gut, threatening to spill over and drown the man underneath. Honed in on your tells, Link initiated a dangerous combo of tongue and finger, alternating between fucking and rubbing until your vision blurred with more tears and your throat burned with more pleas.
"Mm... You want it, yeah? Does my beautiful, perfect girl wanna cum for me? Hm? Wanna cum, baby?"
"P-Please...! Link, I'm so close, please let me cum! Please let me cum! Plea--!"
A burning white throbbed through your core, snapping the thread that dangled your last bits of sanity over the velvety abyss. A searing light, hot and addicting, temporarily blinded you as you felt yourself fall back onto a sticky body.
A loud cry buzzed through your subconscious as something hot and wet squirted all over your front, painting your tits and stomach with thick threads of white. Pleasure-stricken convulsions rocked his body as more heat spilled onto you.
No energy could be expended to bask in the final afterglow, your eyelids weighted by an exhaustion you had never known. Some shuffling, and soon, the hot stickiness on your back and front was cooled by a wet rag. What could vaguely be recognized as fingers combed through the undoubtedly sweaty, tangled bird's nest formed atop your head. Soft, lovestruck murmurs coming from your beloved hastened you quicker into slumber.
You could only hope he understood your gurgled hum as an 'I love you.'
(Don't worry, he did).
#link#link x you#link x reader#link x reader smut#loz link#loz link smut#loz link x reader#link legend of zelda#legend of zelda x reader#legend of zelda fanfiction#loz smut#legend of zelda smut#legend of zelda#rereading some parts of this literally made me go “oh.... my god......???” ASDJKKJASD#i saw this scene briefly flash before my eyes as i was doing the dishes#i blacked out and the spirit of the goddess took over me#i finished this shit in TWO (2) days are you kidding me i never write that fast#hopefully it's still a quality piece of work..... :') HAH
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What Dan and Phil Text Each Other 4 + Familect (article)
#dan and phil#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#phil lester#this idea has been cooking in my brain for literally MONTHS but this weekend was literally the first day off i've had since JANUARY#which is so cruel and unusual don't get me started but anyways#and also the first time they haven't dropped something unhinged that i felt compelled to run through photoshop#also it took forever because originally i was going to do all the WDAPTEOs so like i pulled clips from 2 3 and 4#and didn't end up using any of the ones i pulled from 2 and 3 so guess i just wasted some time there#so it didn't take me actually as long to put together the actual set but like i spent a solid 5 hours working on the general project#tbf though the videos are 20 minutes long so like an hour was just watching to get the time stamps#and i didnt want to miss one by putting it on higher playback speed bc some of them are really quick#well congrats if you made it this far in my fucking tags essay about this post#this is like a 'stick around after the episode for a look behind the scenes' segment#hexagifs
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say no more
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#sniperspy#spyper#ive been struggling to draw so much these days that this took me a literal hour i cant do this#its okay though im doing my best for sniperspy :punch:
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How many invisible things do you think this man has lost?
(Lodgetember Day 2 - Griffin)
#the glass scientists#tgs#lodgetember#lodgetember24#lodgetember day 2#lodgetembergriffin#tgs griffin#tgs lodgers#happi's art#chat i dont know how to tag this#anyways shoutout to griffin. one of my favorite lodgers for sure#love his vibes!! very fun to draw!!!#(only vaguely related but it took me FOREVER to figure out his name bc its not given in the web version of the comic!)#(literally learned it through sage's concept art on their blog haha)#other thing! this background was very fun to draw! I absolutely love his and maijabi's room. floaty furniture and mirrors my beloved <3#also also. holy shit. this took me two days to finish#guys im gonna be posting lodger art in the middle of october at this rate#i'll try to catch up on mosley but ngl ito is my other favorite and i've already got an idea for her#so o7 we'll see how this month plays out agh#SUPER proud of this piece tho. very excited to do more for more lodgers!!!
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college … wasted on the youth (me)
#didnt help that 2/4 yrs was covid telezoom but man.. MANNN#forgetting how impossible it is to pursue rhe degree plan u actually want (advising hell) i feel like . theres just#so many diff things i want to learn now Knowing that im more solidified in my interests and who i am and what i would be interested in doing#and like.😭RGAAAAAQH TEARING MYHAIR OUTTT every other week i have a night where im sititng there like damn i couldve been sm1 completely dif#dgmw i still rly enjoy some of the upper div classes i Did take but what if i took x and liked it more or minored in y and it led me to z#bc i do feel rly set in where i am rn which . i DO ! like it but im never gna be in that environment where u have the flexibility to explore#ykwim . i wish i had taken physics and calc srsly . i always thought i hated that shit but i like it. i like it quite a lot actually😟#or more geology .. urrghh.. sprinkle in sme extra art history . no bc thats what actu pissed me off ab school#i rmbr wanting to dual major and they straight up told me no i cant . but then i was like maybe an arts major bio minor when i wanted to do#science illustration but sry we dont offer bio minor . ok bio major arh or studio art minor . no sry not enough open spots we rly only#reserve it for when we have extra openings post admission❤️#and then even late into sophomore year u would still be last in registration so all the cool classes would be closed#and then bc of covid half that shit was cancelled bc they couldnt transfer labs online (rip comparative vertebrate anatomy)#and then by senior yr an additional collection of classes were unavailable bc u dont have the prereqs bc the prereqs were cancelled during#covid and u dont have enough semesters left to actually take it . like it was gen such an awful experience so ik why i couldnt ever do what#i wanted but .😭 AND LIKE the classes i DID enjoy like genomics or molecular genetics were closed by registration and i had to email and beg#for access . thts crazy .literally crazy .#anyways . i think i want 2 start reading textbooks bc i think thats the closest ill get LMAOO#i remember seeing my coworker read a textbook for fun one time and idk why i just didnt understand why bc it seemed so dry but i Get it now#like yeah .. u knew what was up ..#sad too that like . i could theoretically audit a course but i Work..during the day .. so sad . so sad#guys wht if i just said yes to grad school (<the devil talking.dont agree)
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I just finished reading Dragon Age: Last Flight and I am fucking vibrating with excitement to get to know Davrin and Assan after everything I've learned about the griffons and their chosen Warden riders from this book omfg
#literally took me 2 days bc I could NOT put it down lmao#I had only read David Gaider's books before this but I REALLY enjoyed Liane's writing as well.#gonna devour Tevinter Nights next. I have yet to read any of Trick Weekes' stories and I'm very excited to do so.#dragon age#video games#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#davrin#assan
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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watch my body disintegrate into a pile of ash like a cartoon character who just got struck by a lightning bolt (JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN JOINT PAIN) (just got off work)
#salmon jibberish#god you horribly wipe out on your bike and injure yourself ONE TIME in middle school and suddenly youre inflicted with lifelong knee/joint a#d leg pain 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄#worm lore drop 🔥🔥🔥#can you really call it lore its nothing crazy#i was riding my bike w my friend and their mom and we were on a steep hill and i got scared and braked and flew off my bike and down#the hill#i got to miss like i think a week or two of gym because the scab on my knee was so big i literally couldnt bend it#it'd melt off every time i took a shower too#<- that was probably kinda gross sorry#scabs on both my knees#one was bigger and made my knee unable to bend#and one on the palm of one of my hands that made me unable to bend my thumb#we didnt go to the doctor or anything for it i just didnt do anything for like a week lol#afterward one of my other friends said my knees look weird 💀#<- not mad abt that i just think its funny#me when i yap in the tags#sorry gang#and of course i got myself a job that requires genuinely running around all day#my legs have given out twice at work and thats what finally pushed me to get a knee brace#just one for now bcs . expensive . i just gotta guess which leg o think is gonna give me the most trouble that day#idk i just tend to deny myself help . i dont think i deserve it . i really only got pushed for this bcs i didnt want to get obliterated by a#dog at work if my knee gave out 1) while walking a dog or 2) while in the daycare in a crowd of dogs#idk i dont like making my own life easier i dont think i deserve it . i dont think im suffering enough to need help but yk#ANYWAY#good news is we have ROTISSERIE CHICKEN FIR DINNER LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOO#IM GONNA DRAW NOW 💥💥🔥🔥🔥
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"forever is a bad dad to richa-" SHUT UP!!!!!
#qsmp#qsmp forever#qsmp richarlyson#id also add in the book he wrote for the egg museum where he talked again about forever being the one who took care of him the most#but i dont have the patience to find it in vods to screenshot it#also sorry but. some people on twitter have been stressing me out A LOT over their opinions on their relationship#ive literally been stressing about it since i woke up i needed to release this stress somehow#< also im thinking of doing a long post talk about what their relationship is and isnt#bc whenever theres angst/fight between them people take it as an opportunity to mischaracterize BOTH forever and richas#in a way that makes it clear that the person 1. doesnt keep up with forevers pov#and 2. only knows richas through one pov#like. ok#disagree with forever however you want youre free to do that#i myself think he was in the wrong in multiple situations (like the tallulah fight day)#BUT SURPRISE!! SAYING HES A BAD DAD IS LITERALLY SO WRONG!!#PEOPLE CAN MESS UP!! PEOPLE CAN MAKE MISTAKE!! NO ONE IS A PERFECT PARENT!!#NO ONE ALREADY KNOWS HOW TO BE THE PERFECT DAD AND THERES NO SUCH THING AS BEING A PERFECT DAD!!#PARENTHOOD IS SOMETHING YOU LEARN ALONG THE WAY!!!#AND LEARNING HOW TO BE A DAD IS A CORE TRAIT OF FOREVERS CHARACTER SINCE DAY ONE!!!!!!!#saying hes a bad dad literally goes against canon statements from richas#saying richas is uncomfortable with forever goes against canon#“oh but i mean in the emotional way” ok so you never watched a forever stream before#because when they fight. richas ALWAYS opens up to forever later on how he felt#the fights HAPPEN because richas is comfortable making drama in front of forever#if richas' didnt feel comfortable he would literally just “suck up” his jealously and not show it often but he does shows it often#if richas was uncomfortable after fights he would just apologize and never talk about his feelings#but after the tallulah fight? he told forever about how romero richas affects his body and how he feels#after the armor fight? he told forever about how he felt towards his own life#to which btw BOTH of these times where he opened up#he had never talked about that with anyone before
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i've been really into making really high effort drawings of my favorite kpop boys because autism is one hell of a drug i will not explain myself just please take them and listen to p1harmony i promise you my obsession is justified ple a s-
also my [commisions are open] so this could be u think about it
bonus me making literal stickers to promote them like its bad over here gamers i dont even apologize
#two of these are from 8 months ago and one is from 5 mins ago is that not fun - how do i even tag these#kpop#i guess#kpop artwork#kpop fanart#p1harmony#i literally dont know please dont look at these tags stop looking ghfdjskdlfg#p1h#piwon#artists on tumblr#ok bye#its funny bc like - i know i just said bye but hear me out if ur still here#that first one took like 2 hours and the second one took about a week bc i was getting frustrated on the semi realism#and then the third one took about 3 days i would say but the second day i worked on it for 20 minutes bc i have chronic migraines girl#its been a while you get updates on my health hidden in the tags im autistic and chronically ill now thats so fun isnt it#i bet most of you knew i was autistic before i did#you should have told me i think#ok bye now fr
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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i have done...an absolute deep dive into blues and folk music tonight. it was 100% one of those blink and three hours have passed type of deals. worth it though.
#be warned if you go into the tags i will explain how this all came up. educational but long!#so it started with two questions. mostly because i live in the ozarks i wanted to know and secondly i like music if you haven't caught on#(btw i am so giving you guys the quick and easy version if you are reading this at all)#anyway. the first question was 'why does the ozarks have such a country influence but also bluegrass but also blues but also folk but al-'#because while i grew up in stl i am now like. living living in the ozarks right? right. and i for sure can see how we are the like...#the little sibling of the appalachian mountains. and i thought it was just cause aw cute mini mountains (highlands people)#but instead its cause there were settlers from appalachia! which makes a ton of sense now seeing influences and culture etc etc#so we cleared up that. we know why the ozarks is the way it is (or at least part of it)#btw anyone who says branson is a “true reflection” of the ozarks is out of their damn minds.#that shit is tourist central and just drives me up the wall. they are playing a parody of themselves is the best way to describe it#caricature maybe??? point is. “h'yuck h'yuck we're the country jubilee!” is not uhhhh ozarks and never was?#like it was but they took it a step further. so. anyway#can you tell i'm fixated on this right now? moving on! question 2 was quite literally 'what genre is this song'#it's 'fault line' by black rebel motorcycle club (which i highly suggest everyone listen to)#but i was like hmmm very bluesy harmonica but just fingerpicking guitar so that's more folksy#so! i went on a deep dive of what technically considers blues blues and what folk is. and guess what! the ozarks play into this too#because! the thing is that the ozarks is weird. st louis is technically not in the ozarks but on the outskirts. and stl is influenced by...#the mississippi delta! therefore blues music which led to rock and roll etc#(that's a whole other tangent for another day on stl and blues and rock and roll)#but anyway it makes sense that once you have folks from stl area coming down to the ozarks then you also have that combo of...#mississippi delta and appalachia music. so then we go back to “fault line” right?#i have declared it folk mostly because it definitely doesn't follow traditional blues progression or call and response.#so anyway. deep dive tonight was basically what is this song's genre and how does that wrap into where i live!#which also. brmc is like...usually listed as a “rock” band from san francisco which hey! awesome.#but like. from the songs i've heard and especially causing me to do this deep dive...they do not strike me as a californian band#music is cool! regions are cool! culture is cool! i just like to see how it's all spread out ya know?#if you've read this far gold star! i hope you've learned something tonight from reading the ramblings of a fixated person#i'm rambling again aren't i
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love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me
#ppl always talking about their whatever grade reading level and how many books they’d read as kids and im just over here like🧍🏽#I’ve never been actually bad at english or reading but I couldn’t focus on reading books to save my fucking life#I hated those sheets where you had to read like a certain number of books or whatever over the course of a semester or the year or whatever#my GATE test scores for english were super high but my math was bad enough that I never qualified#and adhd made me not even perform well in English half the time because I couldn’t pay attention I couldn’t read long books I couldn’t turn#in my assignments or if I did they were late and etc etc etc#don’t get me started with math#I was the worst in my class in third grade at minute math and never made it to the levels of minute math my classmates did#(they posted results on the wall for everyone to see)#and in 6th grade I was put into an additional remedial math class#throughout middle-high school I was at the level of most classmates in terms of the classes I took but that’s only because I was not allowe#to fail and was put through absolute fucking hell with a billion tutors and grueling hours of extra work from them and blah blah blah#like I remember how I felt in those tutoring sessions and half the time I actually wanted to cry.#I didn’t start doing solidly genuinely Good in school until senior year of high school.#not coincidentally around the same time I started taking adderall I think#I had accommodations by 9th grade but they didn’t do that much except for the function that let me turn in assignments up to 2 days late#without penalty. which i had teachers question sometimes and i had to pull the Yeah it’s Literally Against The Law to not allow me this car#anyway. point is. i was never in the gate program and most of my friends were and it was mostly adhd related#adhd is considered such a quirky nothing disorder nowadays that I don’t even like mentioning I have it really. because what people think of#when I say the term is Not what i actually dealt with and made school torturous and made my parents lash out at me for things and etc etc#depression and dysphoria did not help either. but I digress#I’m not sure why im making this post#kibumblabs
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when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING
#cw blood#luckys original content#ITS SMALL BUT ITS ART SO IT GOES ON THE ART BLOG#also wwaooooww its meee its my lil persona!!! i dont draw myself enough....#anyway i have bigger things in the works. im slowly but surely chipping away at a pd thumbnail for that pd thumbnail project#FINALLY COLORING. BUT COLORING IS SO HARD AND I HAVNT BEEN IN THE COLORING MOOD#SO IVE JUST BEEN MAKING RLY DUMB COMICS INSTEAD... OOPS..#idk if anything finished n polished will be posted here anytime soon. BUT i post wips of everything on my twitter#and i post jrwi exclusive wips on my slucky blog. you may look at those if u have Truck Art Wishdrawls. as many do. as many do#THIS BLACKJACK JOB IS RLY AWESOME BTW DONT GET ME WRONG#i work three 12-hour days ina row. i gotta take an hourlong bus up to the depths o the mountains and then#i get to stay in this delightful lil hotel that was built in an ooold hospital. its a whole casino town. and an OLD one at that#ITS GORGEOUS HERE. last week my bus home was delayed for 2 hours#so i finally got the chance to head to other casinos and try drinkin n gambling. lost ten bucks to a pretty girl. NOT the first time#i rlly wanna try it again!!! i love interracting w ppl and i love being inebriated in public bc im just so sweet and pleasant and friendly#and pretty girls LLOOOOVEE MEEEEE i think i just need to go to gay bars more#but theres fucking NONE HERE. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im collectin comrade queers up here tho#we wanna make a Group but we just gotta come up witha name first. i need something weird and strange#yknow i remember being in highschool. and being miserable n unmedicated. my mommas ultimatum was that;#if i dont drop out of highschool; i dont need to move out. she probably wouldntve kicked me out anyway bc my mommas sweet like that but#she REALLY wanted me to graduate. and i remember dreading that i might never do that#i remember feeling like the Resident Idiot. sweet but so so fucking dumb. it took me 7 years of strife n stress before i finally graduated#i remember worrying back then that i might not ever be able to handle myself out there. that i'd be too dependant on others#AND HERE I AM. DID U KNOW I WAS LOOKIN AT HOUSES A WHILE AGO? IM AN ADULT AND IM WWINNINNNGGGGGGG#IM RUNNING OUTA ROOM BUT HERES MY ADVICE TO YOU. BC I KNOW UR FUCKING SCARED TOO. THE ONE THING THAT SAVED ME.#THAT KEPT ME FROM SINKING INTO DESPAIR IS REMEMBERING ONE THING: ITS LITERALLY JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#MOST PPL YOU CAN JUST WALK UP TO N ASK A QUESTION N THEYLL ANSWER. THEYRE ALL NPCS THEYRE NOT REAL#LIKE IF U WALK INTO A BANK AND ASK HOW A DEBIT CARD WORKS THEY WILL HELP YOU#AND IF YOU THINK THEY HAVE ULTERIOR MOTIVES RELATING TO MONEY. YOU CAN ASK THE CUSTOMERS TOO. ITS JUST LIKE VIDEO GAMES#ANYWAY STAY SAFE KIDS HAVE FUNNNNN. IM GOING TO GO DO DRUGS NOW. HOPE U CAN DO DRUGS SOON TOO. I LOVE YOU
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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