#this literally started off as just me being obsessed with the sibling dynamic between the traveller and paimon

[kingofthegophers]

★ Genshin Star Stream AU ★

Okay I can’t draw fast enough to catch up with my brain so I’m just gonna blabber out what I have so far via text

Here’s the TL;DR - An apocalyptic modern AU that borrows the mechanics of the Star Stream from ORV (so like scenarios and constellations, none of the novel-come-to-life stuff). Aether and Paimon are siblings looking for their sister Lumine, who has gone missing since the scenarios began. What they don’t realize is that Lumine has already gone through the scenarios and is now constellation.

More details below the cut!

Setup + Main Scenario #1:

Aether is picking up Paimon from school, they’re heading home via public transit

For whatever reason, Lumine is in another part of town or in a completely different city running some errands

Scenarios begin

Main Scenario #1 - Kill one or more living beings to survive

Aether, Paimon, and the starter characters (Amber, Kaeya, Lisa) survive because Paimon conveniently had an ant farm

Cell service isn’t working, Aether can’t reach Lumine and doesn’t know where she is or if she’s still alive

Main goal is to reunite with Lumine

Character mechanics:

Weapon classes and attributes are based on their in-game characteristics

Stigmas are their elemental bursts/skills

Sponsors are their in-game constellations, with some exceptions (i.e. Amber’s constellation would be Lepus, but characters like Xiangling who have a connection to another god like Guoba/Marchosius will have them as their sponsor instead)

Archons are archon-grade constellations which are the highest known grade of constellations, and they generally don’t have incarnations

Scenario mechanics:

Each region has its own dome

Main scenarios of each dome are based on in-game archon quests, world quests, and Teyvat’s historical events

Archons may request bounty quests that deviate from the main scenario (e.g. Barbatos wants Aether to save Dvalin instead of slaying him)

Star Stream is run by Celestia, uses Abyss Order as workers/slaves to run the system

Scenarios are streamed by Abyss mages (the dokkaebi equivalent)

And moving onto specific character stuff!

Aether:

Unable to receive a constellation sponsor for some reason (maybe Lumine’s interference?)

Instead he gains abilities and stigmas by receiving blessings from archons when he completes their bounty quests

(This part deviates a lot from ORV) Aether and Paimon travel to different domes after completing a dome’s main scenarios to continue looking for Lumine

They start in Mondstadt, but the Star Siblings aren’t actually Mondstadt locals (they recently moved there)

Eventually ascends to a constellation

Paimon:

Like Aether, unable to receive a constellation sponsor

GIVE HER YOO MIA’S INVENTORY SKILL

Gets a cloak item that allows her to float (bonus subspace storage function?)

Not a fighter but has high utility

Lumine:

Time travel stuff, she has already gone through the scenarios and become a constellation

Constellation name Viatrix

Constellation modifier ‘Traveler Amidst the Luminous Stars’ (subject to change)

Wanted to destroy the Star Stream system but eventually gave up and became part of it (implied she has been trying for about 500 years)

Aether wants to destroy the Star Stream to free her, but Lumine thinks it’s futile and the only way to survive the apocalypse is to obey the Star Stream

Other character ideas:

Dainsleif - returnee or guide from Khaenri’ah that was destroyed in the scenarios

Kazuha - like LJH, “killed” his friend in the first scenario BUT what actually happened was his friend stabbed himself while grabbing Kazuha’s hands around the sword to allow him to survive

Xingqiu is the incarnation of Guhua (historical-grade)

This is very Aether and Paimon -centric so I’m thinking a lot of the other playable characters are gonna have their own plotlines separate from the main story...

[matt-murdick]

Others have explained their reasoning before, but I'm wondering, why do you think each original sibling never undaggered Finn? With the obv exception of Freya. But would she have undaggered him immediately? 🤔

Great question, thank you for asking. This is just my opinion so if anyone has other ideas feel free to add to this and make it a discussion. (I do not proof read, I can only hope this is legible)

The reasons offered by canon definately contribute to Finn’s siblings keeping him daggered. The two main ones to me (from canon) are that Finn’s morality made him a difficult person to be around and that he hated being a vampire, they were worried about him.

I mean, Klaus was willing to let Elijah believe that he had tossed all his siblings into the ocean where they could never be reached, just because he found Elijah’s moral crusade annoying. Finn hated everything about vampirism and he let them know. He complained about their bloodlust, how easily they gave into their bloodlust, how unnatural they species was — if you were already struggling with what you’d become and you were trying to make the most out of it, this shit is the last thing you need to hear. I always assume this stifling morality of his is what they’re talking about when they call him dull.

Elijah brings up the concern that Finn would be a danger to himself. Honestly, if they were running from Mikael and his siblings could see him consider just giving in and dying every time, that’s scary. And I know what people say, “he had Sage, he was the happiest he had ever been.” Sure. But you can’t expect a depressed person to stop being depressed just because they’re in love, so why would they think that loving Sage would make Finn content being a vampire. (H/C Finn was depressed as a human, vampirism amplified that, being a vampire added to it. Finn struggled to connect to his siblings after Freya. They had probably never seen him struggling like that until they were forced together with volatile emotions. It’s hard to watch people you care about, who you’d always seen as strong, break down).

Once Finn has been daggered for a while, it’s easy to leave him that way. He was hard to be around. I don’t think they ever actually forgot him or that they were purposefully abandoning him, like Finn thought, but I do think he slipped their mind. It was easier without him, they had their own issues to worry about, and vampires don’t feel the passage of time. Also, they didn’t know it was hurting him. This is a big thing to remember. As far as the rest of the Mikaelsons are concerned, a dagger to the heart is a magic pause button. It’s annoying but it was never meant to hurt Finn. Would they still have done it if they knew? That’s a different question that I won’t go into, but it’s worth a thought. These reasons apply to all his siblings, I’ll try not to repeat them.

First thing I consider is that Klaus had just killed the Brotherhood of Five before undaggering his siblings, and so is suffering from the Hunter’s Curse for the first 53 years of Finn being daggered. (I like to think it kicking in is one of the reasons he didn’t undagger Finn)

Klaus is literally obsessed with his family, he probably didn’t like that Finn was off with Sage all the time. Remember this guy kills all his siblings’ lovers, and maybe he hasn’t started that yet or Sage is the exception bc she came before that urge or he can recognise that these two are actually devoted to each other unlike the other lovers he’s killed. I mean, even 900 years later Klaus still hadn’t killed her. I’m sure she’s a survivor (and don’t get me started on the possible relationship dynamics between Sage and the rest of the Mikaelsons), but if Klaus wanted her dead then she probably would be. He’s an original. They’re only beatable in the shows bc you can’t overpower regularly appearing characters or there would be no conflict.

So initially, I think Klaus’ reason is his paranoia and fear of his siblings leaving him, enhanced by the Hunters Curse. I actually like to think that by having one of his siblings daggered and therefore unable to harm or leave him, was probably a great comfort for him during this time. Although that would have lessened when the curse ends, the sentiment continues. Klaus needs to know where his family are, and he needs to keep them safe from Mikael. He’s a little control freak and this is a great way for him to exercise that and keep his wandering brother close by.

My understanding of Elijah is that he takes responsibility for pretty much everything that happens in his family and whilst he may have preferred to undagger Finn, he always prioritises Klaus over the rest of his family (from the guilt over Mikael and Aurora, until the anger at Klaus effectively killing their family for good outweighs that, then it comes back). If Elijah considered daggered!Finn to be a benefit to Klaus whilst under the Hunter’s Curse, he’s absolutely gonna allow it. It’s benefitting Klaus, and it’s ‘not hurting’ Finn. So why wouldn’t he? He’s probably defending the idea, and laying it out as though it’s the most reasonable option.

I think Rebekah was definitely pro-undaggering Finn. But I think she’d find Elijah’s justifications convincing. She’d probably feel the most guilty about it, so she’d try not to think about it. Still, she’s much closer to Klaus and Elijah than her other brothers.

I don’t think Kol minded much. Finn was a good ten years older than him and if they were ever close it would probably be more parental than fraternal, to cope with Mikael and Esther’s poor parenting and the trauma of Finn losing Freya and then struggling to connect to his siblings. They seem to have had a somewhat hostile relationship from at least the Martell period (pretty typical of siblings ngl) but Kol seemed most antagonised by Finn’s betrayal in TVD (indicative of a closer relationship than with Esther). I personally think his loss of magic and lack of control over his thirst probably made him the most affected by Finn’s anti-vampire campaign. Kol seems to like trying to ignore the pain a situation causes him by drowning it out (loss of magic leads to extra bloodlust). I think he was glad not to have to deal with it and if he ever felt bad? Well, it was Klaus that kept him in the box. Not Kol.

+

I think the important thing to consider with Freya is that she’s just as desperate for her family as Klaus is. If she got to them earlier then she would absolutely undagger Finn. He’s her baby brother, he’s the only one who would be able to remember her, and there is no way she’ll be able to convince The Original Vampires that she is their witch-sister-who-‘died’-and-even-if-she-hadn’t-she-would-defo-be-dead-over-one-hundred-years-later without Finn or Esther (or even the threat of Dahlia) there to back up her claims. Freya would undagger him immediately out of both sentiment and practicality. The only reason she wouldn’t undagger him is if she was convinced it would harm him, and his “suicidal tendencies” would not cut it for her. Tbh I think Freya would think that it’s an exaggeration and that she could help fix it. So yeah, if Freya is out then so is Finn.

(A Doylist answer would be that he was invented right before his first appearance and they kept him daggered so he would be pissed at them and put his Cain instincts into play. Also laziness. But that’s boring so Watsonian answers only.)

[boilingheart]

i know its not quite the same scenario as navy seal, but ive highkey avoided ever talking about or publicly enjoying poly pirates content for the same kind of reason, but instead bc it involves shipping jay and chip.

like. yes, i know many people (including the jerboys) interpret them as having a more sibling-esque bond. I fully acknowledge it and I can even agree w it!* but i hate how it has been made that any other interpretation is not only wrong but also bad.

idk man like. i just hate how it feels like enjoying any dynamic of poly-pirates outside of fnc is wrong-- bc at that point, what is the point?

*i personally tend to see the two as very close, but the specifics of whether that closeness is platonic/familial or romantic depends on interpretation (whether of the individual, author, etc). they're two people who've found connection and safety in each other and also enjoy ribbing the other for jokes- what specific type of connection that is can vary for me, yknow? the type isnt the Core of their dynamic to me

(sorry the asterisk part got so long i just want to properly explain myself and dump a bit fjkdsjf)

Oh yeah, I'm 1000% with you on this. I mentioned navyseal cause that's my personal guilty pleasure that I am highkey obsessed with but had to keep it on the downlow after twitter decided it was just as bad as inc*st apparently (as someone who is very very deeply uncomfortable and revolted by that type of stuff in genuine, that shit pissed me off!!!), but this absolutely applies to Chip and Jay and polypirates as a whole. Hell, when I first started the show and didn't really have much fandom influence in my first 30 something episodes I was actually way more of a poly enjoyer

Anyways, as a whole I do sincerely think Chip and Jay work better as a platonic bond, I like this interpretation of their relationship better than romantic, but that doesn't necessarily make the ship bad or wrong you know? Literally ditto to everything you said in your asterisk I couldn't word it better myself.

Like bruh it really felt like these characters are stuck being bitchless fr LOL that whole twitter debacle made it feel like the only CORRECT ships were fnc and pistolwhip (as if fnc doesn't Also have some of the same dynamics listed in navyseal and chip/jay!! (although im certainly keeping my mouth shut further on that since people have started gunning to convince people fnc is a Bad Boring Ship, Actually, and it's better platonic (unrelated to the wlw vs mlm take that just happened there, big disclaimer (I spend too much time on twitter can u tell... there's so many shipwars there for no reason...))) anyways yeah there was just too many people trying to police these ships and instead of just being NORMAL and saying "oh X isn't my cup of tea I enjoy a familial/platonic bond between them instead" they start bending over backwards to prove that ACTUALLY it's PROBLEMATIC, SEE? And sourcing the boys' opinions on it doesn't Wholly matter to ships (unless it's in regards to boundaries, in which it Absolutely Matters) cause Bizly regularly dunks on fnc and that hasn't changed anything

This got very long winded sorry LOL I've been holding onto this irritation for a while now, it's one of the reasons why I'm trying to move away from twitter and come back to tumblr tbh. It is simply fandom culture to ship, and while I love fnc to absolute death as my main ship here, it's nice to explore some variety yk? navyseal has CRAZY potential cause of their parallels and their journey of self discovery and how much they deeply care for each other, polypirates is just a lot of fun altogether cause of all their personalities and that shared strong bond, then you have swordfish, fish² and chips, caspian/chip, marshall john/gillion, like, multishipping is FUN dude. Unless it's GENUINELY problematic or Actual Proshipping like twitter Claimed, I don't see the big idea. There is such thing as "Don't like, don't read". There is such thing as muting/blocking words and curating your own experience. You don't have to put down others because their enjoyment of something clashes with your personal interpretation of it. It's fandom bro!!!

[hello-nichya-here]

Every time I see you talk about the whole fiction≠reality thing I'm reminded of this shitty anime YouTuber I watched years ago that went on a smug rant about how siscon sucked because "it's obvious the writer doesn't have siblings, siblings would ~never act like this" and it's like??? No shit??? It's fantasy. I'm not here to watch siblings act realistically, I'm here for siscon. That's the point

Exactly! They're basically the people that sit down to watch a movie they KNOW is a musical and complain that the characters randomly started singing because "That's not what happens in real life" NO SHIT, DUMBASS!

Honestly, from what I've seen, antis are the group where you can instantly tell who did or did not have siblings growing up, or at the very least don't get what differentiates a romantic bond from a platonic/familial one, because they think that simply slapping the label "siblings" on any dynamic (regardless of whether the characters are really related or not) automatically turns every interaction between them into a familial one, and that's just not how this works.

By far the best exemple I can think of of a show that was CLEARLY not made for antis since it had A LOT of "incest" bait (the characters were step-siblings, but the show was, allegedly, about them learning to see each other as FAMILY) yet somehow you still find people saying there was nothing even remotely suspicious about the way the main leads acted with their "sibling" was Life With Derek.

The pilot episode literally has Derek solving the classic "Fighting over who gets to use the bathroom first" by nearly pulling his dick out of his pants in front of Casey to make her leave. She dresses up like a video game character she KNOWS he has the hot for, he looks like blood is about come out of his nose when he sees her, and he gets really bothered when the boys at school start hitting on her. She is obsessed with him to the point that, every single episode, she just HAS to know what he is doing, even if it has nothing to do with her, and Paul, the school counselor she talks to every day, repeatedly has to tell her to chill and think of something besides her step-brother, does a spit take when he finally meets Derek (who introduced himself by saying something like "We don't know each other, but you definitively heard of me. I'm Casey's step-brother") and at one point Casey is complaining about having dreams about this guys she totally should not like but can't help having a crush on (and that is a total Derek rip-off) and Paul seems legitimately surprised when she says the boy's name and he realizes she's not talking about Derek.

They supposedly hate each other, but are always doing stuff together and have no concept of personal space. They act like a married couple when baby-sitting their younger siblings. Derek once imagines Casey being forced to act as his secretary, and then episodes later admits he has a secretary kink. He is so bothered by her dating his best friend that he asks her best friend out to "get back at her" (aka make her jealous) and it totally works. In a flashback episode we see how they met, and Derek says Casey didn't want to tell the story to their siblings because of their inappropriate behavior, he intantly started hitting on her the second their parents broke off their engagement, and when Nora and George get back together there's an "indirect proposal" through Casey and Derek. For fuck's sake, he makes out with her cousin, who looks exactly like her, was wearing her clothes, and who we later found out had a habit of stealing the guys Casey liked.

HOW do antis look at all of this and go "This is perfectly normal sibling behavior"? I see no explanation other than "They don't actually know the difference between regular siblings and siblings that want to fuck unless it is explicitly, repeatedly stated in the text, in the clearest way possible, that the two siblings are incestuous. If you told them about any of the non-explicit, but still obviously inappropriate things you've seen characters do in any siscon you liked, and just added a "It was obviously purely platonic" at least half of them would believe you and maybe even scream at anyone who told them "Dude, those two clearly want to fuck"

[japannkenn]

Ao3 wrapped questions!

❤️

3, 11, 12, 15, 17, 22,

Thanks for the questions!

What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

AHAHAHAH ok so I can’t choose, so I narrowed it down to three. First up has to be, of course, my newest fic When In Venice. It is definitely one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. I’m obsessed with the dynamic between Luca and Alberto I managed to create. I really don’t know! There’s something about it. I love drunk, lethargic Luca falling madly in love with Alberto (a man, who quite literally is a complete stranger) and being confused and hesitant about it because of his true identity. That sentiment is wholly inspired by But First, Coffee by jofngve and Annie_Mantic. It’s not as prominent as I’d like, but it’s there and I think it’s the perfect drama only Luca would struggle with. He’s my special boy <3. It’s just so fun and fresh and I’m very proud of it. I really wish more people would see it, because I feel like it’s really telling of who I am as a writer ,,, if that makes any sense. I love wacky, funny, romantic stuff! And there it is :)

That aside, my second favorite fic of mine would be he looks up, grinning like a devil because…. Come on. It’s hilarious. I crack myself up. Who doesn’t love Crack Treated Seriously? I feel like I have a lot of great one-liners and prose (imagery) in there, I love the way Luca is just shamelessly horny for Alberto and how he’s made it his end-all-be-all mission to hook up with him. But the best part is Alberto’s exasperation over it. It’s solid gold and just,,, eek! Also I might be a bit biased towards it because of the memories it holds! I began writing it while on vacation in Oahu, Hawaii. I was sitting on the oceanfront view balcony of my hotel at night, watching the dark waves roll, and laughing my ass off.

Last one might be kiiiinda controversial. My (vaguely implied?) Giulberto fic, Marcovaldo Muscoli. It was written very sincerely when I was personally struggling with the same feelings as Giulia in the fic. Plus, it’s fun, it’s fresh, it’s relatable. I love to project onto these characters (did I mention that?). It talks about gender envy and identity, puberty, familial relationships in regards to adopted siblings, weird and potentially controversial feelings, that kind of thing. I love it! It’s my little black sheep! Something from the heart as a growing teen <3

What work took you the longest to write?

braised in the sand. It was written over a five month span and I completed the story before posting it. So I started writing it in March (after re-reading god only knows by secretsoup and promptly kickstarting my Luca phase all over again. Believe it or not, I got over Luca once but it yanked me back down by the reigns again 😂 I have the lovely Luca writers to thank for this <3 ((👀skypied, brunosaderogatory, The-Ressurection-3D, pinkplaidmoonshine, chemicalesbian, secretsoup, jofngve, Annie_Mantic, whalecarcass, 👋👋👋 HI)) and posted it in August. I thought having scheduled chapters would be a fun thing to try—spoiler alert: it’s not. Or at least not for me. I was too eager to post everything! Hats off to the authors out there who have the discipline to wait and schedule when chapters are posted 😅

How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year?

I have about two WIPS and probably a thousand unposted fics in my docs. They don’t concern me lol. I’m the type of person that starts something and obsesses over it, promptly forgetting about everything else I’ve got waiting to be finished 💀

What WIP are you taking into next year with you?

A fic called Somewhere In Northern Italy, a Luca x Call Me By Your Name AU 😂 it’s funny. And no, Luca is actually Oliver in this one💋

Your favorite character to write this year?

Alberto Scorfano. Of course. Alberto. He’s my bean. My baby. My kin. My love. My lifeline. I love to project onto him. I have some TMI personal issues? Alberto does too. I’m sad? So is Alberto. I’m hungry? Oh, Alberto too. He’s great! He’s versatile! I can stretch and shape him like a piece of taffy! His life in Portorosso actually sucks™️, now look at that, he’s a gondolier from Venice! Yes! Yes!!!!

Which work has the most comments?

braised in the sand, but mostly from a single reader (which I love and appreciate <3) AHAHAHAH lol. That said, AO3 Luca fandom is deaddd so despite all the TLC I pour into my fics, hardly any comments! Which sucks! And I know the other Luca writers agree. But it’s fine. Great, even. I wouldn’t change it for a thing!!!

Thanks for the questions! I had fun! Pass em’ along!

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

idk where this came from. kairi ramblings, in which i repeat myself a lot, with a smidge of soriku:

how i interpret the dynamic of destiny trio, mostly from kairi’s eyes. headcanons ahead. i also project onto kairi a lot. i label them with brother/sister terms, but i’m not saying that’s how she labels them in her mind. found family doesn’t need to follow traditional roles. family can just be people closest to you. anyway—

i see kairi as the little sister. the only girl, boyish, a little shit but also precious, isn’t weak but is perpetually under the guard of the older brother anyway, her world revolves around her brothers and she has attached much of herself to them.

i see riku as the big brother. kairi’s known him all her life, strongest, smartest, most experienced, always there, couldn’t imagine her life without him, a guardian.

and i see sora as the younger brother. he’s closest to kairis age, her partner in crime, he is under her wing as much as she is under his, is perpetually “little” and must be protected even if he’s taller than her, a baby beneath it all, silly and precious.

this is how kairi sees them, in a way. and that’s why even though she’s often with riku (game-wise), bc younger siblings usually gravitate towards the eldest, she’s always more vocal about making sure sora is safe. because you always take care of the kids, first. she doesn’t see him as “littler” than her, but by virtue of being her equal, or close to it, she feels that he needs protection similarly to her. she also feels like she could give him that protection, even if she couldn’t fully protect herself. this could be why she mimics sora’s battle pose and not riku’s, bc she feels sora’s style is something she could achieve and that could benefit her. bc she sees more similarities between herself and sora.

this is actually part of why she comes across as kinda “pointless” in her appearances. she thinks she can be there for sora, bc like i said she naturally sees him as closest to her equal. but because she can’t even protect herself, her attempts to protect sora fall flat.

that’s also why she doesn’t really voice any concerns about keeping riku safe. one, because he’s the older one, and has always been the strongest one, she’s never felt the need to, not as prominently as for sora, and two, she partially feels she can’t do that. if there’s something riku can’t protect himself against, she doubts she’d be able to do it for him. but it isn’t a primary concern, bc there’s little riku has ever needed protecting from.

this is why she shares paopus with sora, and not riku. she’s resorting to the supposed “magic” of the paopu for luck, for a way to keep sora safe.

riku on the other hand, is the strongest of them all, and older. she believes he knows what’s best for himself, and that he can take care of himself, better than she ever could, so she lets him be. she’s let him be for most of her life. sora is the one who’s always needed talking-to’s, after all. riku will always be there, but sora’s the one who would suffer more if he strays from the path. riku couldn’t be kairi’s responsibility, but sora could.

to me, it’s a matter of “scaling”, or even just relativity. sora and kairi have always been the closest by virtue of being the same/similar age. riku, despite being only a year older than them, IS, in fact, older. he’s “the big kid” in their group. and that’s part of why there’s always been a gap between riku and them. kairi can see sora as her peer and equal, but with riku, despite kairi being under /his wing/, she sees herself as /under/ him regardless. (not in a derogatory way relax)

it doesn’t help that riku always tried playing the part of the older brother until recently. and kairi and sora were very much partners in crime. kairi could be a brat at riku, but sora’s the one she could hit and boss around and scheme with.

there’s less fear that riku might not come back to her than that sora won’t. to a degree, it probably doesn’t even fully register in kairi’s mind that she could lose riku, whereas that caution is a real fear when it comes to sora.

for sora, it’s actually probably the same. at least in regards to kairi. because he and kairi really are equals. protecting kairi is a prominent priority in sora’s mind, because he sees her as “small”, or young/younger.

but his feelings aren’t the same when it comes to riku.

riku may be older, he may seem untouchable, but sora obsesses over staying close to riku anyway. not necessarily protecting riku, but staying /with/ him. sora /needs/ to know riku is safe, and preferably by his side, physically, even though sora knows they’re always together. (this is fact, see: DDD)

Sora is way more vocal about wanting to be with riku than kairi is about riku, because sora is in love with him. That’s the difference.

Kairi is family. Kairi brings sora comfort, and happiness.

Riku /completes/ him.

Kairi has been attached to Sora in a slightly less than healthy/optimal way. She feels like she needs sora (and less obviously, riku) to be physically with her to be okay. If Sora or Riku aren’t physically with her, in the same place, she feels alone.

Sora, on the other hand, can be without riku. And this is because sora knows riku is always with him, even when it might seem like he’s not. Though naturally, sora would rather he and riku be together, physically.

All of this reflects on why kairi’s relationship with sora and riku is lacking. She doesn’t feel their togetherness, because their bond is weak, or weakening.

Sora and Riku’s relationship is—I don’t even know how to put it, honestly. Sora and Riku’s hearts resonate with each other, gravitate to each other, they are literally shining onto each other, and all of this is why Sora and Riku can feel each other. Because no matter what, they’re always together in heart.

This is part of why Kairi in Melody of Memory is great. She’s beginning to realize and accept that she can’t be with sora and riku until she can at least /be/ there /for/ them. She’s never been able to do that, so hopefully her training, /her decision/ to train, will be the beginning of her learning and experiencing more things.

Who knows where her path will lead. Maybe it’ll lead her back to Sora and Riku, or maybe away from them. But that’s the whole thing. She has to break away from the one thing she’s always known, out of the rut she’s been stuck in, to discover what it is she really needs and wants. to grow as a person and a character.

again, these are all my personal interpretations, based on my own relationships and views of my brothers. but it’s what helps me connect with kairi when at face value, she doesn’t feel very interesting or compelling.

i doubt this reads as “i hate kairi” bc after putting thought into it, i’ve discovered that i really do like her, and her role in the general story. it’s maybe a role i don’t see often, or done well. i’m starting to think kairi really is top notch, even if her role is unappealing, and difficult to fully appreciate, because that’s the whole point.

i’m sure i’m not the only person in existence who’s ever been afraid of change, taken my personality from the people around me, invested too much of myself in others and forgotten myself, lost something very important in childhood that’s held me back in the years since, been overdependent on others, unable to connect with people in the healthiest way, etc.

people sometimes say kairi feels like an empty shell of a character, but maybe some of us forget that sometimes, there are people who feel like an empty shell of a person, too.

i’m not tryna get philosophical here, or pretend i’m smart. i’m just saying i really relate to (my interpretation of) kairi, and i’m tired of certain kinds of people reducing kairi to “girl who likes sora”. even if she did, she’s so much more. fuck off.

to anyone else who read all this, thanks lol

[innittowinit]

INNITTOWINIT’S SUPER COOL MCYT FIC REC POST

FIRST OF ALL READ ALL OF MY FICS. THEY ARE POGGERS AND YOU WONT REGRET IT.

DONE? OKAY NOW YOU CAN READ OTHER FICS

(psst also if you want your fic taken off this list for whatever reason shoot me a pm)

Completed- multi chapter

-  kindred spirits by arochill

In which one man leaves his dream job and learns that taking care of three monster children may be better than anything else he could ever ask for.

literally so sweet, some sad parts but its a very soft read i love it

-  (this is home) by Lillian_nator for free_cookiesx

Tommy finally found the thing that he has been missing for the past 7 months. A home. People. A family. Please, just let everything be okay. 

some VERY sad parts but this one is more angst with a happy ending, i love it so much it was one of the first fics i read

-  pick me up, take me home by meridies for manciissuperior

With barely three hours notice, single father Phil receives a new child to foster. And unlike his two other adopted children, Wilbur and Techno, Tommy is seemingly hellbent on creating chaos. As their close-knit family begins falling apart, all four of them are forced to learn what it truly means to have one another.

DOOD literally such realistic interactions between the boys, its so good i felt so many emotions

Ongoing- Multi chapter

-  A Very Odd Family, Indeed by opheliabloo

It all started in the nether, all those years ago.

A retired warrior, father to the most fearsome fighter in the land, a sharp-eyed leader with a dangerous spark, and a boy who could turn mountains to dust if he put his mind to it.

Yes. They were a very odd family, indeed.

!!!!! im reading this at the moment, im on chapter 14 and i love it so much! this fic ripped out myheart but in a good way

-  You're Still Our Brothers, And We Will Fight For You by Your_Resident_Witch

Phil gets a letter from Tommy saying that Wilbur has gone insane and asking him to come and help.

SBI FAMILY AWOOGA deadass though this is such a good read for when you just want some good ol family feels, based in dream smp but its canon divergent

-  Phil accidentally becomes a father - A series of short SBI Found Family stories by CagedPuddle

Phil was an average man who lived an average life. He woke up every morning, got dressed, ate breakfast, and grabbed his fishing pole before fishing for the rest of the day. He was young, barely an adult, and he already had the rest of his life practically planned out. Well… at least until THAT day.

Piglin technoblade owns myheart!!! Each chapter more or less can work on it’s own so its good for when your feeling and you wanna get a really specific part but dont feel like reading a bunch of chapters

-  "It's Like Watching Your Little Brother" by SunOfIcarus

After hearing Wilbur describe Tommy as a younger brother, I haven't been able to get it out of my head since.

A collection of one-shots about Wilbur and Tommy having a sibling dynamic! 

DOOD one of the first fics i started reading, there is a story in this book for any emotion i s2g its so good

-  Where are your parents? by C4pricornC4ts

Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy decide to run away. Tommy is an optimist, Techno likes to disappear for days at a time and Wilbur is just trying to keep his makeshift family together.

Philza notices a struggling teenager and tries his best.

ANOTHER ONE IVE BEEN READING FOR AGES dood im obsessed with this era deadass, this fic is so soft and i love it so much, it made me feel so many things and book store owner phil owns my heart

Oneshots

-  chin up king, your crown is slipping by cryptibs

this is basically just set in a kingdom AU! in the end notes i'll add what the other SBI members positions are in the kingdom! (if you're curious)

SICKFIC POG can’t go wrong with a good sickfic deadass, techno is king in this too!!!! Plus we all know i love wilbur and technos friendship

-  core by qar

Wilbur lashes out. Tommy is a little upset. Phil's on damage control.

A good one to read when someone hurts you, its so good and the perfect amount of hurt and comfort

-  10 Years by amooniesong

Technoblade is touch-starved, Wilbur won't stand for that.

WILBUR TRAVELS TO AMERICA TO GIVE THIS MAN A HUG!!! WE ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT WIL AND TECHNO FRIENDSHIP

-  wilbur isn't handling online school well by leggyman

just a one-shot of wilbur not handling school.

Felt this one sm, i am the same wilbur dont worry, also tommy is so so sweet in this, a good one to read if youre getting overwhelmed

-  the art and (mine)craft of war by bluesandbirds

Tommy is a gremlin. An absolute, evil gremlin child and sometimes it's a curse to be related to him. But who is this Dream guy, and why is Tommy suddenly talking about him all the time?

TECHNO JEALOUS god they really were just fighting for his attention werent they lmao, i love this sm

-  Techno screams into the void and the void responds with a fatherly hug by ChipperDotChar

Of all the adventures Techno thought he would have today, having the worst wish possible come true and end up being fantastic was admittedly not on the agenda.

What the genuine fuck just happened?

VOID PEOPLE!!!! such a unique concept and i really hope the author writes more for this au at some point

- home is where the heart is by constantly_anxious

It's midnight, and Techno can't sleep.

No one else can either.

PLATONIC CUDDLES. THATS ALL IM GONNA SAY

A quick list of authors to look at:

qar

Amooniesong

cagedpuddle

c4pricornc4ts

lillian_nator

[aconstantache]

MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE NOVELS OF 2020

HM: The Minute I Saw You by Paige Toon; Fair As A Star by Mimi Matthews; You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle 

10. Take A Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert - loved, loved, loved these MCs. They were both so well-realised and multi-faceted. Zafir may be one of my favourite heroes ever and the depiction of a South Asian family here is also an all-time fave?? No boring, tired, sad diaspora vibes? No overused tropes re: Muslims? MIRACULOUS. So Zaf is a romance novel-reading lover of love and Dani is Not About Relationships. Unstoppable force meets immovable object etc etc.

9. Two Rogues Make A Right by Cat Sebastian - the ultimate in hurt/comfort decadence. Literally the entire plot is one person is really sick and the other person spends the entire rest of the book looking after them. LIKE, MAYBE THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS?  It takes a bit to get into it but also the sick one is kinda villainous and the one looking after him believes there’s good in him despite all evidence to the contrary. V good dynamic! 

8.  Wild At Heart by K.A. Tucker - I read and LOVED The Simple Wild last year and was so happy the author decided to write a sequel. I would read ALL the books about these two characters just living their life in this universe. I know Tucker is branching out and writing about other characters in the ‘verse and: eh. I only want to read about Calla riding snowmobiles and Jonah telling her how competent she is I’m sorry!!! Wild At Heart focuses less on romance and more on Calla getting used to Alaska but it’s still satisfying seeing them work out how to compromise and start a new life together. 

7. Beach Read by Emily Henry - I love when a romance novel has a lot of hype and it lives up to expectations (see The Roommate for the opposite, ugh that book was bad.) Honestly I get off just on the blurb of this book: he writes pretentious literary fiction! she’s a bestselling romance author! they help each other write and slowly fall in love at the same time! It also deals with slightly heavier themes and there is focus on a recent death and some other stuff which I know a few people struggled with but there’s plenty of humour and light-heartedness so it all works imo

6.  A Dangerous Kind of Lady by Mia Vincy - It is so rare for me to like every book in a Historical Romance series but Mia Vincy’s Longhope Abbey is 3/3 atm. I loved the first two (as mentioned last year) and this one is an A+ addition (ngl I have qualms about the fourth book but I think MV has won some trust at this point so.) We originally met these MCs in the first book when they were introduced as very happily married and devoted so rewinding to them being conflict-stricken and angst-ridden youths was great.

5. You Say It First by Katie Cotugno - So I simultaneously adored this and also found it irritating. This book focuses on ‘liberal’ Meg who has progressive values and is very involved in things like voter registration phonebanks. She ends up on the phone with Colby who is her age and struggling with his family’s lack of money, his dead-end job, etc and has no time to discuss how the electoral system could help him. From a political point this had the potential to be really interesting but I think it’s pretty mishandled by the author. I think she could have done a much better job at writing a character who has no faith in the political system for valid reaons but like, some of Colby’s opinions are just nonsensical? Also Meg often feels ‘liberal’ in a way that is twee and annoying and superficial. Why did I place this so high when I have such a list of complaints??? Despite all this, the relationship between Meg and Colby is so sweet and satisfying and well-built. Most it it takes place over the phone and I love that liminal space that exists just for the two of them. It managed to outweight my negatives!!!

4.  If We Were Us by K.L. Walther - I know people have had qualms with this book but I still loved it. The boarding school vibes; the friendships; the siblings. Quintessential YA things done well! Sage and Charlie are best friends and would be perfect together (valedictorian types) except Sage is far more into Charlie’s twin brother (v not valedictorian type) and Charlie isn’t into girls at all. Two good, satisfying romantic relationships found here folks!

3. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall - FAKE DATING EXCELLENCE. I think every year I need something new to fill this particular category and Boyfriend Material is a really stellar entry. That being said, I don’t think there’s much actual fake dating going on in this book apart from premise-wise but we move! Luc and Oliver have a good mix of awareness and conflict so you get the Good Stuff TM of them being together and sweet and wonderful while still having to wait for their climactic Get Together.

2. Today Tonight Tomorrow by Rachel Lynn Solomon - I’m obsessed with “I’ve hated you all along! Wait... have I?” narratives and it’s executed so perfectly here. Rowan and Neil are two massive nerds and competitive rivals who end up spending their last hours of school together. There is very little plot to this book - it is almost 100% relationship development and hangout time - which is almost always all I ever want from romance.

1. Mix Tape by Jane Sanderson - I read this all the way back in January (what a completely different time in the world!) so it’s a testament to how good it is that I still feel strongly enough about it to give it pride of first place. This is the kind of book - because it’s not reeeeally genre fiction - that seems destined for a sad or, at the very least, ambigious ending but (HA!) it provides a warm, wholly satisfying happily ever after. Anyway if you’re into second chances after decades and decades apart and people communicating through songs and yearning and never being able to Let Go - this is for you!

[jackass-jones]

I’m gonna have a nerdy rant about video games please excuse me (zero escape spoilers)

K so my fave game series I’ve become obsessed with is zero escape, aka a weird bullshit series where the fandom is both small and dead as shit. Yay. And I just finished the last game, zero time dilemma. I wasn’t initially gonna play this game just cuz I heard it was kinda bad, but the ending to vlr had me curious. Plus it had Junpei in it and, well, I think he’s neat :)

But aaaaaaa

Yeah it was bad. Ill go over the good things though. I thought the escape rooms were like challenging without being toooo challenging. They were a good medium between the 999 and vlr puzzles. I liked them. I also really liked the D team a lot. Luna was one of my favorite vlr characters so it’s kinda natural I liked Diana a lot too. I also thought Sigma and Phi were really good in this game. I wasn’t to crazy about either of them in the second game but like. They’re cute in this game. And even though they’re "getting together" situation was kinda iffy, I think Sigma and Diana were cute together. The only valid het couple in this series. I’m kinda indifferent about the whole twist where Phi is their daughter. I don’t hate it, and I think it was cool how it was foreshadowed in vlr, but I think it makes some dynamics weird. Personally, I think Sigma and Phi would have a better siblings relationship but eh

Now let’s get into the bad, even though there’s so much that I physically cannot go over all of it. Idk where to even start. First off, the art style and designs had like no heart. Like everyone has interesting designs (one might even say too interesting) in the first two games. In ztd though, everyone was boring as shit. Junpei went from cool Marty McFly trans king to emo middle schooler. HE WAS LITERALLY IN JUST A BLACK SHIRT AND BLACK JEANS GOD. I’m gonna save him for later though. I’m just disappointed. Also the art style was bleh. I thought it looked nice on the cover, and I was also really excited cuz I read that there were "animated cutscenes". Y’all. Ugh. The cutscenes ended up being like the whole game. I was just watching it all go by and I couldn’t skip any dialogue without accidentally skipping important stuff. Not only that, there was no heart in it at all. I’d argue that the 3D models looked better in this game than in vlr (I’m personally not into how they changed to 3D but that’s a rant for another day), but the models in vlr had GREAT emotions! They had zero emotion in this game. I hated it. Thankfully the voice actors were able to add emotion but damn

Next is the characters. Needle to say, I didn’t enjoy most of them. I liked everyone on D team, the end. First of all, freaking Carlos. Talk about boring. Like god maybe I would’ve liked his design if he wasn’t wearing the button up and also maybe wore like any other pants aaaa. Also like hm. He uh, sure liked his sister. In a concerning way. Like it wasn’t a super obviously bad thing but every time romance was mentioned he’d be like "I don’t need romance, I have my sister!" Do you see what I mean? It’s sketchy to me.

Then we got Eric 👺👺👺. I hated this guy. First off he’s like a ripoff of Kristoph from frozen, without the fun himbo personality. And the whole time he was thirsting after Mira which ughhhh. They were worse than Junpei and Akane in 999. Maybe I’m just too gay for this shit but ughh. Also it was a thing that was pretty well established thing that his father was abusive but like. It didn’t really...mean jack shit? Honestly nothing about Eric’s character mattered, he was pretty irrelevant. Also he was super super shitty to Sean who was literally a fucking child

Then Mira. How disappointing aaaagh. Like they were literally just like "oh here’s this chick that has committed murder, this isn’t relevant at all :)". Like damn they really just had her be completely unnecessary huh. It was super obvious to me that she was the one who killed Eric’s mom and I thought that would’ve come up but. It just didn’t. I was also curious about their relationship in general since it seemed like she only got with Eric so she could kill him. And god they could’ve at least done something like idk. Make her like Dio and break into the game to cuz trouble. Or she could’ve been zero. Maybe that’s lazy but it would have been better. But no they literally did nothing with her. There was a timeline where she brutally murdered Junpei just like, for no reason I guess??? Jesus

Sean and Akane were characters I’m just meh about. I didn’t hate Sean, but I didn’t really like him either. Akane was never really my gal in 999 in the first place so hm. I think she’s funny but she’s done some sketchy stuff and idk I’d probably like her better if the games weren’t always trying to put her with Junpei every five minutes

Then there was Junpei. Ughhhh. They were trying something but ughh. He was very emo and kinda douchey and I just wasn’t into him. Which is a massive shame cuz I liked him a lot in 999, and especially in vlr. Like all I can say is that it’s a real disappointment for me

Now onto plot holes and things that didn’t get covered that should have. As previously mentioned, they didn’t do anything with Mira at all. They also didn’t properly go over Sigma and Diana’s relationship that Sigma had vaguely talked about that happened in another timeline. Carlos’s sister was not important at all and they threw in some "she’s got the mind abilities" bullshit in without really doing anything with it. The timeline shit made my brain turn into goo aaaa. We dont get closure on how the pandemic was stopped, which was the reason I played this fucking game. We didn’t learn jack shit about the third nonary game. And then of course, there’s fucking DELTA

This filled me with so much rage y’all. The game was just like "oh yeah btw there was this random old man who was just there the ENTIRE TIME that never got acknowledged ever and he’s the big bad villain of the game. Not just that, he’s the founder of the crazy cult from vlr. AND he’s Diana and Sigmas kid!" Like wow you know I don’t think words can describe how bad that was. I think things would’ve been better if he just like wasn’t there yeah. Also I guess he’s supposed to be like, the player cuz he mind controls the characters into making certain choices. Ugh. IT WAS SO STUPID MAN. And I guess the only ONLY reason he made the second nonary game was to make sure he was born which is just eghhhmm. That is too messy for me. That’s some bad time bullshit. And weird reason but okay. God

There’s literally so much more I have to say but if I don’t I’m gonna pass out so I’m just gonna take a nap and die. Moral of the story is that I’m pissed a series I loved ended so shitty and don’t play this game unless you hate yourself. The end

[crossdressingdeath]

(1/3) It always amuses me how stans try to justify JC actions by his abusive upbringing while there were 3 children in that family and both others turned very kind and/or very moral and not at all like JC (and frankly, he didn't even have the hardest position in the dysfunctional dynamic). Or LXC and LWJ whose upbringing was even more screwed up with a LQ who was certainly playing favorites and wanting perfection, and yet this never draw a wedge between them or created any jealousy.

(2/3)LXC loves for LWJ to excel! Same with "but JC had it so hard rebuilding Lotus Pier, WWX was goofing off with the Wens"...JC was paying people to do that for him, yes, while WWX was trying to start from scratch a settlement over a mountain of corpses with a bunch of weak or old people and not to die of hunger comes winter. While separated from all his friends and hated as a monster by the cultivation world. "But JC was so lonely during the 13/16y, so that justifies him lashing out" And WWX

(3/3) was dead, killed by his brother and thinking that there was not a person left on his side in the end, and yet, that didn't make him act like a dick? Or athg else really, because everything that JC went through in the past, WWX did also, but in a worse way because he lost his parents young, lived in the streets, didn't have JC societal privilege or money and has to harness an unstable necromancy practice on top of that. And yet no one uses it as arguments to explain his actions, only for JC 

Honestly? While none of the Jiang kids were in a good position, out of the three of them... JC did have it the easiest. It was still awful for him, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting his childhood didn’t suck, but given it was made very clear to JYL that her only purpose was to be married off to JZX so her mother could tie her bloodline to her best friend’s and WWX was treated like a servant at best... Yeah. If I had to pick, I’d choose having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive over having a distant father and dealing with a mother who’s constantly emotionally abusive and being treated like a bargaining chip/treated like a servant and/or bastard and being whipped for actions that would get the rest of the clan a lecture at worst. Again, I’m not saying JC didn’t have it bad, but his siblings having it worse is... interesting, given neither of them decided to be dicks to Literally Everyone over it.

I do have to say, even though this is about JC, there’s nothing suggesting LQR was playing favourites with LXC and LWJ. He was strict, yes, probably stricter than he should’ve been, and LXC probably did get more one-on-one interaction with him, but given LXC was going to be sect leader/became sect leader at a young age that makes sense. This is not super important to the point of this post, but I do find it odd how often people make LQR out to be this horrible person who’s always awful to his nephews because he’s Strict when we... don’t actually know anything about how he raised them. I don’t like him all that much, and he probably didn’t do a fantastic job of raising them, but the man did try, and he clearly wants his nephews to be safe and happy (even though he has inaccurate views of what that entails...), and given how the parents/parental figures of the cast generally act he deserves some credit for that. Also the Twin Jades ended up considerably better-adjusted than most of their age group, which... isn’t saying much all things considered but it does say something. If nothing else neither of them seem to feel actively unsafe around him, so he’s definitely not the worst parental figure in this novel.

...I had a surprising number of thoughts on LQR there. Whoops, sorry about the tangent. Maybe I’ll make a post about him at some point. Anyway, yeah, LXC and LWJ clearly adore each other! LXC would be delighted if LWJ surpassed him at something! Same with Nie bros; they argue a lot, but there’s no denying that they love each other. That’s what insults and threats out of love look like; NMJ threatens NHS all the time, but NHS clearly isn’t all that bothered by it until JGY starts fucking with NMJ’s mind and the threats become more serious, which really isn’t NMJ’s fault. It’s because in the other sibling relationships both parties are invested in staying close. They love each other and want to be close for the rest of their lives! Meanwhile JC is obsessed with WWX outperforming him at Literally Everything, and WWX genuinely believes that JC is allowed to treat him the way he does and it’s fine and healthy.

And yeah, JC wasn’t exactly rebuilding Lotus Pier all by his lonesome with his own two hands. In fact, going by what we see all the rebuilding was done well before WWX left! And I don’t doubt for a second that WWX was involved in that process; I have very mixed feelings about the scene in CQL where he blows off his duties to go and get drunk, because on the one hand it does do a good job of showing just how bad his mental state is getting (and how JC refuses to acknowledge it despite WWX obviously being Not Okay), but on the other hand... I just can’t see WWX not throwing himself into helping JC with everything he’s got even while his mental state is coming crashing down around him. I mean, this is the guy who created an incredibly powerful weapon that even he couldn’t fully control, not knowing what using it would do to him, to help his brother win a war. I’m pretty much certain that WWX ran himself into the ground helping JC rebuild and run the sect... then when he found himself in charge of a small group of desperate people, scrambling to keep them fed and clothed and healthy, JC just abandoned him to deal with it on his own.

And the whole “Oh, but JC was so lonely, don’t you feel bad for him?” shtick. I hate it so much. If he didn’t want to be lonely, he should’ve considered that before alienating everyone in his age group and leading an army to murder his brother, the only person left who was willing to put up with him! It’s... really hard to feel bad for someone who’s brought most of their suffering on themselves through a series of generally shitty and frequently downright cruel actions with easily foreseeable consequences. If he got sick of being alone, he should’ve apologized to his peers for being a dick to... literally all of them and tried to make amends and strike up some sort of relationship. Or, if that didn’t work, go out! Meet new people! Try not to be as awful to them! Also, he’s a sect leader. If he couldn’t even maintain a positive relationship with other sect leaders, people who, let me remind you, he has to work with on a regular basis and several of whom are actually nice and friendly people, that is on him. If you are awful to people you will end up alone. And then JC decided to respond to learning that the people he was a dick to every time he saw them (and, in LWJ and NHS’s cases, caused the death of someone they cared about) wanted nothing to do with him... by whining about how lonely he was as if that wasn’t largely his fault. Like, he lost his family and that’s awful, but he could have had friends to help him through his grief, and it’s his own damn fault that he doesn’t.

WWX’s life was miserable. He had plenty of friends, yeah, but he spent years on the streets after his parents died brutal deaths; was raised in a family where he was treated like a servant and a scapegoat; lost everything in an event he was blamed for despite having nothing to do with the attack; had to sacrifice his incredibly powerful golden core (thereby losing his primary means of defending himself while on the run and drastically shortening his lifespan) to keep his brother from letting himself die; was thrown into a corpse pit for three months where he had to create an entirely new and experimental (and as such incredibly dangerous) form of cultivation and probably resort to cannibalism just to survive; had to fight a war almost immediately after escaping; spent a... good portion of time (not sure how long exactly because the MDZS timeline is more a suggestion than an actual coherent timeline) being treated alternately as a tame pet or a rabid animal and having to pretend everything was just fine while everyone tried to either control him or remove him and his brother very obviously got increasingly resentful of his skill and power; had to abandon his home, his family, and everything he had left of his old life to save a bunch of innocent people while everyone, including his brother, acted like he’d gone mad for not wanting to let them die horribly; had to go back to the corpse pit he spent three months in because it was the only place where they might be safe; accidentally killed his brother-in-law due to losing control after being ambushed on the way to a celebration for his nephew that he was invited to by people he trusted, almost certainly making him wonder on at least some level if that was why he was invited; lost two members of his new family who he clearly loved because of said accidental murdering; learned their deaths were for nothing and, when he retaliated against the planned attack that shouldn’t have happened because that’s what WQ and WN gave their lives to prevent, saw his beloved sister die to save him; and, after all that, lost the rest of his new family to a siege on a civilian population led by his brother. And after all that, his response was... to destroy the incredibly dangerous weapon he’d made because he didn’t trust the sects to not destroy each other and themselves with it and kill himself rather than risk losing control again and hurting anyone else. In the novel too; I don’t doubt for a second that WWX planned on dying in that siege, even if he didn’t expect destroying the seal to do it.

Take a look at that paragraph. All those things that happened to WWX. And in the end, he was kind. He was so, so kind, and remains kind even after thirteen years of being dead. He would have been well within his rights to go all “Then let me be evil” on the sects, but every time he attacked them they struck first, and most of the serious damage he did happened as a direct result of losing control of his experimental and mostly unknown new cultivation, which is a real risk even with spiritual cultivation; NMJ probably would have happily killed everyone in Qinghe if the qi deviation hadn’t gotten to him first, given how easy it was for him to attack even his beloved little brother. Everything bad that happened to JC is on that list, pretty much. Everything that JC suffered WWX did too, with some variations in the details (and of course dead versus alone for the same period of time). JC had the advantage of a sect at his back and a high rank by virtue of his birth, while WWX’s position was entirely reliant on JFM and, later, JC. And yet some people insist that WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions but JC’s somehow does. Now, some people argue it’s different because WWX was a mass murderer. Yeah, well, JC’s a fucking serial killer, and he doesn’t have the excuse of losing control due to using resentful energy to cultivate and being attacked by everyone he’d ever known and trusted.

...I’ve kind of lost track of where I’m going with this. Short version: I very strongly disagree with anyone who insists WWX’s trauma doesn’t excuse his actions while bending over backwards to argue that JC’s trauma excuses his.

[bethsuglywigs]

1. What was your favourite scene of the episode? Tell us why!

The krav maga scene! That guy is a criminally underrated character. He basically told Dean 1) your wife isn’t going to stop fucking that guy; 2) you’re acting stupid; 3) you are stupid; and 4) get divorced. And it started with him choking Dean and calling him a pussy so... iconic for that alone. 

I also loved the “I can’t live without her” line. He’s not even talking about Beth really because he doesn’t love her but he can’t live knowing she’s loves someone else (especially Rio) and he doesn’t know how to do basic chores or take care of his children without her. To me this is such a revealing line, because he spends the whole episode trying to get rid of Rio rather than trying to win Beth back.  

[how funny would it have been if he had been the hit man in s3]

2. Was there any scene that missed the mark for you? And if so, how?

The bar scene with Annie and Noah. I never thought they had any chemistry at all (and I think he’s ugly, sorry to that actor). But this scene in particular is so cringy to me that I have to fast forward through it. 

3. I know time does not exist in the Good Girls universe (or in reality anymore), but let’s start with a timeline question! The implication of the opening montage is that a bit of time has past since Beth strongarmed the partnership with Rio at the end of 2.06. How long do you think it’s been? And more importantly, what do you think these early days of their partnership looked like?

I agree with @foxmagpie its probably been around a month, maybe a little longer depending on where Beth was in her calendar making process. 

I imagine their early partnership was relatively smooth even though he’s clearly trying to run her into the ground as punishment for strong-arming him/not checking “yes” on his “do you like me note.” In their argument at the recital, she says they keep taking about this (referring to her work/life balance) so that’s probably been a sticking point between them. Beth’s not shy about complaining so I imagine he’s probably gotten an ear full. 

But based on the roses on the calendar (okay hello middle school diary) and how comfortable and open they are with each other in the 2.08 bench scene, I also think these meetings have been overall pleasant. I imagine they talked business then hung out a bit and just enjoyed each others company. 

4. The first scene between Ruby and Turner in this episode is a really dynamic one! It’s pretty clear that Ruby’s afraid of Turner, but what do you think Turner thinks of Ruby?

I think Turner sees Ruby as Beth lackey.  

5. Taking the kids to the drop was a pretty big mistake! What do you think Beth should’ve done in this instance? Do you think saying no again to Rio was an option?

I do think saying no to Rio was an option. Like what would Rio do??? But I don’t think it was an option to Beth because she’s trying to establish herself and prove that she’s cut out for this kind of work. 

Idk why she didn’t just call Ruby and ask if you could drop the kids with her. Or leave them with Annie, that way her kids aren’t in the drug car. Isn’t Kenny like 13? He couldn’t watch his siblings for an hour? I know the Dean gene runs strong in him, but I think it would have been better than literally taking all her children to a drug deal. 

6. The krav maga teacher offers some sage advice telling Dean to not order the hit and instead just divorce his wife, haha. Do you think that he thought the baby hitmen would come through for Dean? Or do you think he was deliberately setting Dean up to get robbed?

I think he just gave him the humber of some local hooligans just to get Dean off his back. He probably figured they’d jerk him around, but not actually do anything.  

7. During Ben and Annie’s tense conversation, Ben tells Annie that she’s hard to keep track of - she’s parent mom, cool mom, sketchy mom. In a lot of ways, this feels like a parallel to Ruby talking to Beth in the last episode and calling her ‘drug Beth, gun Beth, human trafficking Beth’. What do you make of this? And how do  you think it relates to the show’s themes?

I skipped this scene because Ben was annoying me. 

8. The scene with the girls in the house! Tell me all your thoughts please!!!

All my money for Rio to see Beth act like this. 

9. Annie meets Noah in this episode! What do you think of their introduction to one another? And how would you rate Noah on the scale of ‘Garbage Annie Love Interests’?

He’s pretty garbage, but at least he’s not her literal therapist.

10. Beth has two pivotal and emotionally revealing fights this episode - one with Dean and the other with Rio. How do these fights compare? And what do you think they tell us about her respective relationship with them?

What these two scenes reveal about the characters:

Dean: Legit doesn’t care about Beth or her safety. It would be one thing if he actually brought up the dangers of her work, but he just uses it as a gotcha to deflect his failure as a parent on Beth. He’s way more obsessed with getting Rio away from Beth than he is about finding his missing daughter or rebuilding his marriage.

Beth: She genuinely trusts and relies on Rio. She defends him to Dean and immediately goes to him to help her.

Rio: just say you’re in love with king. He’s worried about her! He doesn’t want her to go to jail or get murdered because he cares about her. Not only does he care about her physical safety, he cares about her feelings because he goes to that house and gets her the baby blanket.

11. Ruby takes Jane being missing as an opportunity to try and find evidence on Beth for Turner and, in the process, finds Jane too. How do you think this scene captures Ruby’s moral dilemma? And do you think it’s a satisfying turning point in the Ruby-Turner arc?

I don’t think the Ruby-Turner act is satisfying at all. I don’t like it or care about it. I do like that it sets up the right between Beth and Ruby in the next episode though.

12. RIO GETS BETH THE DUBBY!! That’s it, that’s the question. Please discuss.

Ngl I legit though this was so stupid when I first saw this episode. I didn’t even think twice about the implications. But I’m different now. Today I was screaming.

Now that I actually rubbed my brain cells together, I see just how wild this scene is. Mr. Neck Tatts really revealed his hand here, not just to Beth, but those random drug dealers and which ever littler gang bangers he took with him on mission baby blanket.

[illumynare]

How the Enneagram explains all of Ford and Stan’s problems

….well, most of them, anyway.

So in my ongoing quest to learn all personality typing systems ever, I’ve recently started reading about the Enneagram, and it struck me that Ford and Stan both fit extremely neatly into the system, and it provides a great framework for analyzing why these two idiots can love each other so much and yet continually hurt/trigger/drive each other crazy.

(descriptions taken from the Enneagram Institute website, not linked because apparently that means this post won’t show up in the tags??)

Stan: Type 2, “The Helper”

The Caring, Interpersonal Type: Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved Basic Desire: To feel loved

This is Stan in a nutshell: somebody who loves deeply and unconditionally, sacrifices himself without a second thought, but also easily becomes possessive, and whose “helper” actions are often in some way an attempt to earn people’s love. He rescues Waddles from the pterodactyl so that Mabel will stop being mad at him, and he rescues Ford from the portal hoping that will restore the relationship they had as children. It’s not that Stan doesn’t genuinely care about Mabel or Ford’s suffering, it’s just that, on some level, he’s always trying to earn the love of the people he cares about.

Ford: Type 4, “The Individualist”

The Sensitive, Introspective Type: Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, and Temperamental

Fours are self-aware, sensitive, and reserved. They are emotionally honest, creative, and personal, but can also be moody and self-conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living. They typically have problems with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity. At their Best: inspired and highly creative, they are able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.

Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)

Feeling vulnerable and defective, yet disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living: if you looked up “Stanford Filbrick Pines” in the dictionary, that’s the first thing you’d see. People have argued a lot about whether Ford is arrogant and how much, but I don’t think that’s actually the most helpful way to analyze his character. Ford has, at different times, considered himself a genius, a fool, a hero, a puppet; but what never changes is that he’s obsessed with the question of his own identity, and driven by the fear he’s either a freak or a non-entity. Even at the end of Journal 3, when he finally starts to chillax, he doesn’t abandon the question of his identity and say, “Who cares if I’m a hero or not.” Instead he chooses a new identity: “I’m a hero’s brother, and I’m okay with that.”

So how does this explain their problems?

Because, as much as these two dumb idiots love each other, they have primal fears that are often at cross-purposes, and that make them hypersensitive to each other’s worst tendencies. Stan fears being unloved and alone, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including literally immolate his identity—to keep his loved ones around him, or bring them back. Ford fears having no separate identity or personal significance, and at his most desperate he is willing to do anything—including cut his twin out of his life, and summon unknown spirits of insane power—to grasp that identity.

This is why I think that, even if the whole science fair debacle had never happened, they would have still had some kind of major rift. They both grew up bullied by other children, emotionally abused by their father, and without any kind of support network or healthy relationship models; I don’t think either of them had the resources, at that point, to deal with their issues in a healthy way. Stan would have tried to cling to Ford no matter what, without realizing Ford experienced it as suffocation; Ford would have tried to strike out on his own no matter what, without realizing that Stan experienced it as complete rejection.

And this dynamic is also what drives their conflict after Ford comes back through the portal. I’m thinking, particularly, of their scene at the end of “Tale of Two Stans”:

Ford: Okay, Stanley, here’s the deal. You can stay here the rest of the summer to watch the kids. I’ll stay down in the basement and try to contain any remaining damage. But when the summer’s over, you give me my house back, you give me my name back, and this Mystery Shack junk is over forever. You got it?

Stan: You really aren’t gonna thank me, are you? Fine. On one condition: you stay away from the kids; I don’t want them in danger. Cause as far as I’m concerned, they’re the only family I have left.

A lot of people have interpreted this scene as Ford planning to kick Stan out of his life and onto the streets (and written angsty fanfics accordingly). This may indeed be how Stan saw it, but I don’t think that’s a fully accurate perception. A moment before this, they’re laughing about being old men. Ford’s voice in delivering his ultimatum doesn’t read as angry or cold so much as somebody trying to put his foot down.

I think the key to Ford’s speech is the implicit link between “you can stay here the rest of the summer” and “I’ll stay down in the basement.” Ford is primarily thinking about the issue of his stolen identity: there can only be one Stanford Pines, so while he’s willing hide himself away and let Stan keep playing the role for the rest of the summer, he wants to be Stanford Pines again. He wants his own identity, and to have a say in what goes on in his house. Which is completely reasonable!

But of course, Stan is approaching this conversation from a completely different direction. He’s spent thirty years trying to save Ford, not just because of his own guilt but also because he wants their relationship back: think of how he throws his arms wide and shouts “Brother!” when Ford steps through the portal. From Stan’s point of view, Ford is saying that everything Stan suffered and accomplished is still not enough to earn his love. Which is why Stan lashes out, having finally reached the limits of his willingness to martyr himself. Objectively, it’s kind of terrible to disown your brother for not saying “thank you,” but in context it completely makes sense for Stan to react this way. (And honestly, it’s really good that he has managed to discover ONE boundary, even if he’s being petty about it.)

….but of course, Ford still doesn’t understand what’s going on in his brother’s head, so he interprets Stan’s anger as something along the lines of “how dare you want to make decisions, you should just live in my basement for the rest your life to make me happy.” Which in turn drives his hostility and posturing in later episodes (like the DD&MD game—yes, Ford was swept away by enthusiasm, but I think he was also very much trying to mark his territory when he covered the TV room in graphs.) And that just escalates Stan’s hurt and anger, creating his determination Not To Care even when the world is ending and Ford is a prisoner, and culminating in the Zodiac Fight which is hands-down the pettiest thing either of them has ever done.

What saves them is Dipper and Mabel, who remind them it’s possible for two radically different siblings to work together—and who give them something to care about outside their own tumultuous dyad. Threatened by the loss of Dipper and Mabel, they find they can still trust and understand each other well enough to pull off a desperate, last-minute con. In one way, their final gambit seems to echo their earlier patterns: Stan burns up his identity to save his family, Ford grimly makes a choice that will cut him off from his brother. But there’s an important difference: Stan doesn’t expect to get anything back from this, not admiration from the kids or love from his brother, because he doesn’t expect to be himself after. He burns the dream of the Stan-o-War along with all the rest of his memories. Ford, on the other hand, gives up all claim to being the hero, The Man Who Killed Bill Cipher; more than that, he trusts Stan to carry out that role for him.

And that’s how, after everything, they’re able to reconcile and be at peace with each other.

[ghinanotlinetti]

My thoughts on Netflix’s ‘The Umbrella Academy’ Seasons 1 & 2 and the liable (s)hero

Hello! I’m going to be talking about The Umbrella Academy. I got hooked on this show when it came out and my friend recommended it to me, at the time we were on our final semesters of university and had a lot of free time because we weren’t expected to take a lot of classes to focus on our final undergrad assignment, so why not binge watch TV shows! I remember the pace being quite slow, I wasn’t too invested to begin with but then later on as the episodes progressed I got so into it. And when the second season came out during this whole pandemic fiasco which was the perfect gift for us nerds!

I want to firstly mention that I've not read the comics and I don't think I'm planning on doing it soon, but I do like watching superhero movies and series. I can't describe what I'm into I just know that I like what I like which ranges from A to Z. So as an adaptation I can't say much on how the show does the comics justice, but from what I've heard from readers of the comics who've watched the show, the show pretty much follows the story from the comics (not word for word but not too loosely either) which is great I imagine. I can tell the series shows the story of these characters who we know and are invest in very well, it gets straight to the action, drama, and develops intriguing plot lines. I personally love siblings dynamics in TV shows; this family dynamic is so interesting to watch onscreen, from the flashback scenes of when they were little (I really do hope there's a spin-off with the kids!) to their current relationship that they have now with each other as siblings. The first season sets the story straight, then the next season steps it up a notch which is awesome! I love Klaus' character plot, especially the banter that he has with Ben, love those scenes and I'm glad we got to see more of Ben in season 2! In the first season I was drawn to Diego’s character specifically, and I also was intrigued by the backstory involving other characters like Reginald, Pogo and Grace. I like all the characters except for Luther but I can respect what he brings to the family dynamic and the role he plays in the story (even if it's very frustrating to watch). I like the story a lot, I can tell the writing is well thought out and it’s captivating to watch the story play out with each episode. And of course, the production is top tier, American productions really know how to produce high quality films, I really appreciate this and that it was paired beautifully with a good story! I thought the plot had pretty much every element needed to make a superhero franchise, from the conflict, character, even to (problematic) stereotypes...

I'm not very invested with superhero movies in general, but some of my favourite movies are those superhero movies. I love the Spiderman movies (the Toby Maguire ones are iconic, Andrew Garfield ones are good I enjoyed it, and I love Tom Holland's Spiderman a lot), haven't watched all of Thor but I really like Thor Ragnorok, obsessed with Black Panther, love Captain Marvel, I've watched all the Avenger movies without having watched any Ironman movies, the Hulk movie and the first Captain America movie. I also watched some of X-Men movies but I’m less invested in them compared to my mild obsession with the Avengers; I like Days of Future Past, Logan was so brilliant, and I've seen the other films but they haven't really stuck with me. So I get the gist of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (quite familiar with DC but not as much as MCU) and I have to say, I'm so done with the liable characters who are 9 out of 10 times women in these superhero franchises. Vanya is the liable character, Diego says this himself to her in season one when their house is intruded by Hazel and Cha Cha - everyone's using their powers to defeat them meanwhile Vanya does nothing because she can't and gets bruised. And I’m sick of it. I’ve seen this before with the Scarlet Witch (Wanda) and Jean Grey, and every time it’s annoying for me to watch. They’re the most powerful character, but they have no control over themselves it’s annoying! Wanda ends up having to kill Vision and it’s very upsetting for her because she loves him, and it’s all just frustrating to watch as a viewer because of her very bad timing and almost incompetence to be logical. Jean Grey is killed by Wolverine because she lost control of her powers and then in the Sophie Turner one she also dies to save her friends. 

Only tragedy for these lot who most if not all the time are women. There’s already a visible lack of superwomen, so with this liable character trope it’s sad that when women are included in these stories we’re inclined to see them through how the patriarchy views women. If they’re not the hero then they’re the love interest, and if they do get to be the hero it’s the tragic hero incapable of control. Women are “strong” and are meant to save everyone but they’re delicate, too delicate that it gets in the way of them mastering their powers. Women are emotional, they can’t be logical beings so they’re not the leader despite being the most powerful one in the group. Captain Marvel flips this stereotype on its head; that scene when we think there’s about to be a showdown between Captain Marvel and Jude Law’s character (can’t remember the name for the life of me), it’s meant to be one-on-one with no powers but she refuses, blasts him with her fist and says to him that she has nothing to prove to him. Iconic! Now that's a movie and character which is clearly written by women for women and I want more of it! I want to see more female superheros who aren’t the tragic hero with bad timing, zero control over everything including their feelings and powers. The story arc of the liable hero is overdone and predictable, so I really would like to see literally anything else. 

Vanya’s story arc was quite predictable. Of course she has to fall in love with the wrong people at the wrong time, and of course she has to face a nearly impossible dilemma to solve. From the beginning I knew I just didn't like Vanya's character but wasn't sure why, then I realised this female character was written by men, and that's why I found her so.. annoying. She's brilliant obviously don't get me wrong, she's the most powrful one but the fact that this had to be paired with her trauma from years of being neglected was utterly corny. It’s also not lost on me that there’s 7 Hargreeve children and 2 are girls; Allison’s story arc for a while was attached to an unnecessary romance with Luther, and Vanya is the seemingly incompetent one but plot twist, she’s actually the one to watch. I already knew the love story between Vanya and Sissy would be too good to last, but regardless I feel for her because Allison gets to have more than one romance throughout the course of the series, and though they also don’t really last either it’s not as heartbreaking for her to cope with when they end. Vanya gets better at controlling her powers in the second season, but she’s kind of the same lost character because she loses her memories and almost has to start from the beginning. Season 2 was also interesting to watch because it introduced a new character: Lila. So that’s another female superhero who’s also a WOC, great, but her story for me felt a bit like the liable one mostly because of her backstory which of course leads to a difficult dilemma towards the end. It'll be interesting to see what they decide to do with Lila's character in the future seasons, I don't think we really got to know her very well and I'm excited to find out more.

I really can’t wait for the next season but no rush, I can wait for how ever long it takes for the team to not slack, stay true to the story and deliver another season we deserve to watch (haven’t forgotten about GoT’s tragic downfall!). The screen writing is a 10/10 surprisingly for an American production, I hope it stays top tier in the upcoming seasons *fingerscrossed*. The production is obviously 10/10 and cast is 10/10. I guess the only thing lacking is the character, particularly the women which the show seems to not know what to do with them (and yet they know exactly what to do with the male characters). We only got to see a split second of the new Ben and I can’t wait to discover more of who the new Ben really is, which should be pretty exciting to watch!

[doerunners]

Who are you two favourite cats in each clan you're in? And why?

NettleClan:

Pansykit -

I think this one should have been pretty easy to anticipate, but I absolutely adore Pansykit. I've been so closely involved in her since before she was born and watching her growth through kithood alone has been amazing. Words cannot stress enough how excited I am to watch her develop through apprenticeship and see her gentle, kind nature grow. I think the relationship she has with Tansykit is great because they both foil one another so well. Pansykit mirrors Tansykit's cold, isolationist nature while Tansykit mirrors Pansykit's caring, sweet nature. They work so well as a duo, especially so when the twin aspect is added onto them. I have so much love in my heart for Pansykit. She is so perfect and I will die for her. @leafwhisker

Flickerclaw -

Okay I'll be honest and say I haven't always been a Flickerclaw stan. It was really easy to see him as a character through the lense of Spark, and it was ironically as Spark began to let go of his anger at Raven and Maple that I began to appreciate Flicker's unique and interesting arc. Watching his fish-out-of-water narrative, seeing those emotions as Raven gravitated away from him and left him with a similar sense of loneliness that he left Aspen with? SO cool to see, and its awesome to watch how that experience allowed Flicker to realize the faults in his own actions and reach out to Spark (and hopefully lter Aspen) to apologize. I really love the way hes grown up and how he had to learn the hard way that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I can't wait to see more with him regarding Hawk and Daisy as well- that's going to be such a unique thing to see. @mintswhisker

JaggedClan:

Swallowstorm -

An answer that shocks no one- I fucking love Swallowstorm. I would jump in front of a moving train for her. I would give Swallowstorm my left kidney. I love Swallowstorm. I've always had a soft spot for nasty girl characters and Swallowstorm is the nastiest girl there is. I'm heartbroken that I joined Jagged so late just because it means I missed out on a lot of her earlier development, but seeing her through the lense of Doerunner has honestly made her character that much more charming. I think Swallow's obsession with power and control is a really unique and captivating thing- I can't really think of another character that approaches this in a way as awesome and dynamic as her. The way she would go as far as to hurt herself and others around her just to keep that reality in tact for herself, the way she isolates herself just to tell herself the lie that it has to be this way because nobody else will understand, as well as to justify the way the cats closest to her have abandoned her/betrayed her trust. Her ego is too big for her own good, and to watch her repeatedly reach her breaking point, fall deeper into that dark mindset, only to place the limits of that breaking point further is so fucking awesome. I could honestly go on for paragraphs about all the subtleties I love about Swallowstorm, shes just genuinely so well written and dynamic and three dimensional. I'll be selfish for a bit and go on about how fun its been to reach out to that cold, broken cat through Doerunner, who's also broken but just in such a fundamentally different way. Seeing this relationship between Doe and Swallow where Doe tries to find her worth in befriending cats where Swallow finds her worth in pushing them away? So fucking GOOOOD. Especially when Swallowstorm is the one cat in JaggedClan who saved Doerunner, who literally kept her from freezing to death in the snow. Idk. Idk. I'm soft.

Mousetail -

My MOM. I love miss Mouse, especially because I'm one of the people who was lucky enough to see her shift from NettleClan to JaggedClan. To watch her go from lonely, angry, and hostile to the loving, gentle, and happy cat she is in JaggedClan has been such an awesome development to watch. I like how her happiness didn't come without a price- her scene leaving Crowstar behind, the way she's confronted Lavenderstrike after the way her kits were targeted, her overall apprehensive nature regarding her new clanmates is really nice to watch, her acclimation as a JaggedClan cat is slow and methodical and I like that a lot. It feels realistic and allows for a lot more growth and potential in the future. I'm really excited for her kits to reach six moons because there's so many more confrontations to see that are going to be absolutely great. I can't wait for Duststorm and Swiftstrike to meet her again, for them to view how far she's come in six moons, for Crowstar to see the way her family has grown, for Mottlepelt and her to speak again- there's a lot for Mouse to face in the future and I cannot WAIT to see how it goes. @currentfangs

The Tribe:

Butterfly -

Miss Butterfly.... my darling to-be. In the same way I'm soft on nasty girls, I'm also soft on characters with severe family trauma and Butterfly has that by the fucking BOATLOAD. The way she's been written through it all has been such a treat to watch, her using that obsession with the truth and being a well behaved, perfect cat to cope??? PEAK writing. I can hardly believe shes over a year old now as a character. I love the way she started fearful and anxious of the world because of how much it hurt her to a cat who, while still having some anticipation and fear, has a bit more confidence, especially through her relationship with Firefly and Spark. I just wuv her so much and I can't wait to see her function as an adult cat in the tribe! I can't wait to see her bond with her peers, meet Spark's kits, develop more with Butterfly and Fading. Shes a perfect little darling girl and I'll die for her. (Leo its not letting me tag you so I'll just DM you lol)

Aspen Snow -

Last but not least, miss Aspen. She's one of the first characters I got to develop a meaning, worthwhile relationship with. I've watched her go to an angry, spunky kid to a complex, hurt adult. She's an interesting look into a character who just can't seem to catch a break and is a great mix of a character who doesn't know how to pull herself out of her hurt. I like how over the course of time, she developed into a cat who's too closed off about her emotions while Spark became a cat who's open with his emotions to a fault. They balance one another out when they're together, but apart they both spiral out of control in opposite directions. Her complicated relationships with all her siblings really symbolizes how her horrible early on experiences leaves her inable to bond with them now in a healthy way. Her relationship with her season makes it so her emotions, so bottled up, explode in drastically unhealthy ways when they reach their boiling point and those instances only serve to haunt Aspen Snow and lead her to believe she's a worse cat than she really is. I want to see a healing arc with her SO badly man

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[tsukishitstain]

i would like to request a matchup if that’s okay :)) i’m shido (she/her, aLmoST 18), i’m bisexual and i’m a HUGE intp (kenma and tsukki kinnie ouch), pisces sun aqua moon!! i enjoy being alone, napping, smelling good (idk why i’m weird), working out, and listening to music. i have five siblings so the being alone part doesn’t work out much lol. i’m a barista at a downtown coffee house, i love using sarcasm and reaction pics to EVERYTHING, huge dogs (i love all animals but irish wolfhounds are my fav), scary awesome storms, and cooking spicy food (i’m vegan.) i’m about 5’5, lean build with a little bit of muscle, hair dyed black green and purple, and blue-green eyes!!! my style is generally black or other dark colors. i go between wearing oversized mens clothes to wearing short skirts and knee socks, but either way its usually black. i laugh really easily and typically come off as intimidating and reserved, but when it comes to romantic partners i LOVE to care for them and show affection (verbal reassurance, playing with their hair, love letters, cuddling and back rubs, baking for them, spending $$$ on gifts or making them, planning dates and trips). my love language is a mix of physical touch and quality time. i tend to be attracted to people who like to learn, aren’t too emotional, (this is shallow sorry) have dark hair, and won’t be upset that i need alone time. (also men who are passionate and talented and PROUD OF THEMSELVES FOR THEIR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITHOUT BEING COCKY are sexy-) big turn offs for me are being super clingy, ANY kind of manipulative behavior, conforming to the opinions of others, and (this sounds rude i’m sorry) not being intelligent. also if they try to tell me what to do i’ll slap them <3 my ideal first date would be at home, either watching a horror movie, building a fort to nap in, or making dinner!!! i am so so sorry if this was too much or if your matchups are closed, thank you for reading all this junk!!! take care of yourself :)

omg you sound so cool we would literally be besties irl lol i had so much fun writing this!! and thank you for including so much info!! (also that last part was so sweet of you omg!!! i am taking care of myself and i hope you are too!!!) ok let’s get into it, i talk too damn much lmao

i match you with

Ushijima Wakatoshi !!!

i usually match introverts with extroverts but y’all are so compatible WHERE DO I EVEN START

how you’d meet

i’m taking advantage of the fact that you work at a coffee house (i’m a sucker for the cliche barista x character trope what can i say)

anyways you two go to school together and you know of each other but y’all don’t really interact

until he goes to a coffee shop and recognizes you

he wasn’t big on coffee...until now

and it’s okay that you come off as intimidating because it’s impossible to intimidate this man

the first time y’all talk is kinda anti climatic for the both of you

y’all are just like “don’t we go to the same school? oh cool haha anyways what can i get for you today?”

but secretly after that first interaction butterflies are forming for both of y’all

he finds himself going to get coffee more often than usual and still you two don’t really interact that much, so he’s not really sure how to approach you again yet

y’all have probably talked a few times at the shop and it’s only ever small talk like

but when he’s out jogging after school to get some fresh air and clear his mind, he sees you jogging around the same corner

his heart is beating so fast!! this is his opportunity

he goes up to you and is like “what a fortunate coincidence to see you outside of work, maybe we can make it happen again? would you like to hang out sometime?”

relationship dynamics

ok so with two introverts in this relationship, things are steady but not boring!! don’t confuse the two

you’re the slightly chaotic one in the pairing and because he’s kind of dense sometimes, you find his reactions to be hilarious

you two respect each other so much like the respect he has for you and vice versa is incredible

you would literally never have to deal with him crossing any boundaries you have

he’d never be manipulative or controlling when it comes to you

also he’s dense but not dumb!!! you two could hold intellectual conversations often and every time you have one of these conversations, you’re reminded of just how smart he actually is

he also loves the deep convos y’all have because he’s always learning something new (and so are you)! he loves hearing you express your perspective on things

and since the both of you are introverts, y’all understand that you both need alone time occasionally

he’s not clingy at all and whenever you need alone time he’d probably just busy himself with work

possible relationship issues

ok so there are a few conflicts that could potentially arise

let’s start with something light hearted!!!

as we all know, he can be dense at times so your sarcasm might not always reach him

and while dense ≠ dumb, i feel like sometimes it might be a turn off for you when he’s dense to the point where he looks dumb (sorry that’s kinda mean to say about him lol)

another thing that i feel like could be an issue (albeit not a huge one) is your love language

you love to give gifts but i feel like there might be times you feel underappreciated because of his reactions :/

like say it’s his birthday; you spent months planning something and spent your entire paycheck to buy it, you’d expect him to have some type of positive reaction to it, right?

well when he receives the gift, he just says “thank you” with a blank expression while opening it and gives you a kiss on the forehead afterwards

like it’s not a big deal that his reactions are anti climatic at first, but after a while it might make you feel as though your energy and efforts aren’t being reciprocated

what he loves about you

he LOVES the fact that you like to work out

this is so cliche but idc yall would totally go on gym

dates and get brunch together afterwards (how cute is that omg!!!)

omg something cute that he absolutely adores about you is the way you smell

if you’re the type of person who loves to try out new lotion or perfume scents (even something as insignificant as hand sanitizer) he’s the first to notice

like if before you two are eating lunch and you offer him some of the hand sanitizer you carry around he’d be like “oh is that a new scent?”

or when y’all are cuddling and he can smell the lotion on your skin

he’s obsessed!! every time y’all cuddle you notice he’s always inhaling your scent

he loves that it’s so easy to make you laugh!!! sometimes he might not understand what he did to make you laugh or why it’s funny, but he’s just happy you're laughing

hearing your laughter literally makes his heart warm and if you’re quick enough, you can spot his face that’s adorned with eye crinkles and a soft smile

when you’re in a goofy mood you’d laugh at everything he does because he’s so funny without even realizing it

oh and good thing you like wearing oversized clothes because ushi loves seeing you in his stuff

doesn’t matter if it’s just you wearing his shirt to bed, he loves it

he would especially love coming home after practice to see you in the kitchen making dinner or just lounging on the couch in the living room with his clothes on

you would look so ridiculous(ly adorable) in his clothes, he can’t help but to laugh when he sees you sometimes

oh and another thing!!! back rubs!!!

sometimes he practices to the point where he overworks himself not only mentally but also physically so it’s not surprising that he always has sore muscles in one place or another

your back rubs would be on his mind as he pushes himself in the gym!!!

“one more rep then i get to come home to her back rubs” is what he tells himself (too cute my heart is bursting!!!)

new here? check out my masterlist

want to request a match up? check my match up guide to see what to include

a/n #2: haha i wrote so much but you gave me so much to work with so i had a lot to cover (which is a good thing btw) i know i already said this in the first a/n but i literally love that you included so much info!! usually people are hesitant to send a lot of info bc they feel like they’re rambling but those are the best requests tho because the more you ramble the more i know about you and the more i can write!!