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Sally Rooney’s ‘Beautiful World, Where Are You’ is quite excellent and I’m oddly surprised for reasons

With contemporary novels, I find it hard to choose what to read and skip because there’s so many books being recommended and not enough time to read them all. There’s also the fact that not all these book recommendations are going to be one that I’ll enjoy reading even though it’s enjoyed by many others, though that’s not the worst thing in the world, it is a gamble because I can’t really trust ratings, i.e. I didn’t like reading The Sun Is Also A Star but that book has a 4-star rating on Goodreads which is very generous is my opinion. So when everyone kept recommending Sally Rooney’s books, I wasn’t too invested because at first glance the synopsis didn’t intrigue me but I wanted to read so I’d know what the hype was all about. When Beautiful World, Where Are You released, I wasn’t ready to buy a copy of my own, so instead I borrowed from a friend because I wasn’t sure I’d like this book. This is my first read from Rooney and I wasn’t expecting to enjoy it as thoroughly as I did from start to finish.

When copies of Normal People was being sold in every bookstore, the series premiered on Hulu and I wanted to watch instead because I feel that watching is easier to commit to as opposed to reading. After watching the whole series, I knew I wasn’t going to read the novel; it was a beautifully aesthetic series, good romance scenes for the girlies, good dialogue here and there, but the story wasn’t it for me and neither were the characters (Marianne is very Manic Pixie Dream Girl, snobby and hard to like which I think is intentional however there are likeable MPDGs which I enjoy, and Connell is just boring to me idkidk). A part of me was ready to manage possible disappointments which I might have with BWWAY, so when I ended up enjoying it it was such a relief!

Prior to reading, the reviews I heard from my circles was that this book is “boring” and some friends of mine didn’t enjoy it all that much for that reason, which I can see where they’re coming from, but I for one don’t mind “boring” stories much at all, in fact “boring” stories end up being one of my absolute favs, i.e. On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - very little plot but heavy on  describing what the human experience feels like. I enjoy feels whether that’s in my books, shows, or films, and BWWAY is no exception! I like that the focus relationship in the book was the friendship between Eileen and Alice; stories with platonic love, especially with it being the central focus, is quite rare and sometimes it’s done in a way that’s too idealistic, which is probably the point but I thought BWWAY showed nuances in platonic love. The two characters are honest towards each other but not brutal, close but also distant, caring but not attached, and they’ve helped the other heal but they’ve also hurt each other (intention is irrelevant because it still hurts regardless). I’m not sure who needs to hear this, but friendships, like any other type of relationship, is hard to work on. I’m all for decentering romantic love, but that doesn’t mean that platonic love is a walk in the park, and this story shows that. I got teary-eyed reading the part when Alice and Eileen made up, it was so touching and made me overjoyed! Sometimes the unbreakable bond in your life are the ones with your bestie. Aside from friendships, there’s also the romances which I thought was sweet and done well. I like the steam in the romance, which I saw coming from watching Normal People, it’s not the cringe, lackluster smut but it’s the sexy, sweet, smutty romance with a dash of tox*c energy which gives it the spice. I for one don’t mind seeing a tox*c relationship as long as the characters themselves aren’t actually weird and creepy, so although Simon has a pattern with dating younger women, he doesn’t like Eileen just because she’s a little girl, he likes her for who she it, their shared history, etc.

Overall, solid 4-star! It’s pretty long but I personally think it’s worth it. The writing is kinda excellent but a little intimidating to get used to the writing style, perhaps an audiobook version could be a better experience for some. Didn’t like how the global panasonic was slipped in but I’ll allow it because it was towards the end and was relevant to where the story was headed. Is this book my absolute fav read of 2021? I don’t think so, but I thoroughly enjoy it nonetheless.

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‘People We Meet on Vacation’ is a good friends-to-lovers story that everyone must read!

I’m not a huge fan of friends-to-lovers personally, maybe it’s because I think I’d never be able to survive a platon-ish relationship, and after reading People We Meet on Vacation I can confirm that I’d definitely d*e if I were ever to find myself in a planton-ish relationship situation!

I’m more of an enemies-to-lovers girl, if we’re being honest neither friends-to-lovers or enemies-to-lovers is realistic, but I find enemies-to-lovers to be the more fun and exciting trope to read/watch. What got me interested in this book was mainly the premise of vacation destination, I love travel stories, and the couple are opposites who are attracted to one another. With opposites attract, the writing has to be immaculate, the characters need to be fully fleshed out and I think that’s exactly what the author did. I love her writing style! It’s a 1st person POV told from Poppy’s perspective, she’s the main character, and I thought the writing of dialogue and inner monologues was so well done. I listened to the audiobook and the narrator did a fantastic reading of this book, so well paired with the writing style, I was immediately hooked! I find childhood friends to lovers specifically to be cringe, so I’m glad this was a college friends to lovers story. As an adult romance, I thought the plot works really well, still has essences of that wholesome teen romance angst whilst balancing adulting struggles which aren’t boring because with that comes adult privileges, i.e. travel freedom. So fun!

Poppy, to me, gave a manic pixie dream girl vibe, but she wasn’t fully committed to that life because she does have real feelings for Alex and doesn’t know what to do about it. I personally enjoy a manic pixie dream girl who’s committed to that lifestyle and unapologetic about it, but Alex was genuinely a nice guy character, unlike other fictional guys who fall in love with a manic pixie dream girl *glares at Tom from (500) Days of Summer*. Alex gives off golden retriever energy, but he doesn’t feel entitled to Poppy just because he’s nice to her. I hate how low the bar is, but that alone does have a significance to how I like him as a character, a lot of men feel that women owe them x, y, z just because they’re nice to women or just that one woman, which is utter bullshit. In this scenario, I like how Poppy owned up to her aloofness which did cause problems in their relationship, even though I wouldn’t see that as a problem myself should she have been committed and unapologetic about it, but the issue is she has real true romantic feelings for Alex so she is at fault to an extent. Bravo to Poppy for being brave and putting on big grown up girl pants!

4-stars out of 5! Not my favourite tropes in an adult romance but it was done very well. I love the themes of vacation, home, belonging, etc. I feel a strong connection to those themes in my novels and other forms of literature. This story is both cute and frustrating because all the two characters needed to do to handle their situation was go therapy earlier (LOL ?), but then again, who in real life is even on top of their mental health game? No one! Didn’t like the way they treated Alex’s dad to some extent, should’ve cut him some slack, but that’s just the Asian in me that was taken aback because I could never imagine disrespecting my hypothetical widowed father like that, but anyway, it’s a great novel!

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Squid Game (2021) is good, not the greatest, but better than anything in the dystopia genre produced in Engl*sh

Have you ever had a Netflix movie or series follow you around, it was almost impossible to get away from? You simply have no choice but to watch it to see what everyone’s on about? That was Squid Game (2021) for me. I already like watching shows and movies that are in the dystopia genre, so I was intrigued to watch this Korean show from Netflix. I knew enough about the premise to watch all surprises and twists unfold. In short, I was pleasantly satisfied with this one!

I believe in Asian cinema and TV supremacy!

This show is very intense, and had my heart racing! I got so into it, and felt like I was competing in the games. I’m somewhat of an adrenaline junkie when it comes to the things that I watch so I love thrillers, and I enjoyed watching Squid Game. The world-building in the plot really pulled me in, though I hate gore I can stomach it when it’s important to the logic set in the world-building. The creator, Hwang Dong Hyuk, did a great job in making a fantastic show, so praise-worthy, and I hate how people think it’s just a “Korean Hunger Games” when he invented this idea for a TV show before Suzanne Collins created HG. Hwang Dong Hyuk’s Squid Game is set in Seoul, and the plot works almost like a Narnia if Narnia were Hell, so the players each open the door to Hell but no one believes them when they try to explain that it’s real. Although there are elements of world-building, it’s very much is based on real life events and crises. The common enemy is Cap*talism. Everyone fights for themselves in this rat race, the VIPs have more than enough money to spare for each person to live a better life or pay off their debts, but they choose to pool all the money to give to one winner. It’s very clear here that characters like Deok-su and Sang-woo are not the real villains, because each character that’s playing the game has layered reasonings for the decisions they make, and it’s simply not that simple. Sure, gambling is bad, betraying someone who trusted you is bad, but it’s not as bad as hoarding wealth in the billions and resources which creates scarcity. Honestly, the worst part about seeing a good Asian TV or movie “go viral” in the West (derogatory) is seeing none of the Westerners get it. This isn’t the same like HG wherein that book and movie franchise is made in the US, and the Am*ricans saw that piece of fiction as what would happen if Communism took over the world - ??????????? - but everyone else saw it as a retelling of what’s currently being experienced by people in the Global South. SG, on the other hand, is an Asian-produced fiction that’s rooted in Asian storytelling and experiences, so it’s a completely different storytelling to HG which requires unlearning Eurocentric knowledge. Overall, I’m not taking any commentary from W*sterners on Squid Game seriously, and I expect Squid Game to be winning multiple Emmys.

The Characters

careful for spoilers!

Let’s talk about the characters! The characters are probably my favourite part of the show, and that’s because they’re nuanced, layered, and played brilliantly by the actors. I even enjoyed hating the “bad” characters like Doek-su, and the actress who played Mi-nyeo did a fantastic job playing the “annoying” character, every time I saw those two onscreen I was like “oh god here we go again!” and that’s intention which they really nailed. My heart broke for the two purest characters in my eyes: Ali and Sae-byeok! Ali is a Pakistani migrant worker who just wants to get him and his family out of poverty, and Sae-byeok wants to take care of her little brother and bring her mother from North Korea to South Korea. I really rooted for those two, and each of their stories broke me in the best way. I know how it meant for the South Asian community to see Ali’s character onscreen, so I’m very happy for everyone, this is a big win for diversity in Korean TV! Asian cinema and TV has a colourism problem, known fact, so this was a very meaningful win for a lot of us. I couldn’t help but like Sang-woo’s character. He’s not bad like Deok-su, he has his moments and he’s intelligent so the way he thinks is very interesting, which is exciting to see because it’s a fresh take on the smart character with a dark side. I saw quite a lot of people not like Gi-hun, which is understandable, though I personally like him. I can’t say too much because that character archetype, the tragic hero, has been done before but I thought it was played very well by the actor, so I enjoyed it. I personally saw the cast as an ensemble, I think it would’ve worked really well as a fully fleshed ensemble instead of playing into the chosen one / main character energy. I get that they’re supposed to invest a lot in Gi-hun’s character, but there were some missed opportunities with other character plot lines, for example: Ha-joon, my king! I enjoyed Ha-joon’s character a lot, loved his plot line but hated how it ended. I thought the brother reveal was a cop-out (get it?) and felt kinda lame because they did the most without doing a whole lot. It was a lot of build-up but the pay-off wasn’t quite hitting; I have more questions that I did before: how is In-ho involved so heavily in this? how did he start being involved? why did he have to shoot his brother? where does his loyalty lie? From Ha-joon’s perspective, it looked like he had a loving relationship with his brother, so I couldn’t see In-ho shoot his brother, or at least make them have a proper dialogue before it happens. Ha-joon had a lot of potential, he could’ve formed an alliance within the red suits to overthrow Front Man, and Front Man didn’t have to be In-ho, I would’ve liked it if they introduced a head detective character who has Ha-joon’s trust and respect then let this character be revealed as the Front Man (or Woman?), and then In-ho could’ve been a red suit worker who feels conflicted between Front Man and Ha-joon. Il-nam was another character that I felt need more context even if it’s purposeful to hide as much of his character’s true intention’s for the big reveal, they didn’t really address that in the pay-off finale. I thought it was rushed and didn’t really add to what I already knew about him. Il-nam is an old man who’s dying, and he genuinely wants to play games but has no one play play with, until he finds the most insane way possible to get people to want to play children’s games with him.

The Plot

I enjoyed watching the first three-quarters of the show more than the last quarter. The build-up of the plot was very well done, but the pay-off was rushed, and the ending wasn’t as satisfying as it could’ve been. The ending wasn’t even bitter-sweet or frustratingly good, it was more like why though? I think this is part of the Netflix formula which is a shame that they followed because I would’ve loved if they came up with something else away from that particular formula. The Netflix formula to me is: work really well on the build-up, focus on the build-up but not the pay-off, add a splash of chaotic plot reveals, and that’s how you make people beg for another season! There’s at least two Netflix series that I haven’t continued watching after the first one or two seasons specifically because I fear they’ll get cancelled, and I don’t want to spend a lot of my time and energy on something that could potentially be pulled from the plug. That’s sad because I know they have enough resources to support all projects to see them through the end, but they choose to select the few that are profitable to them for investment. Although SG is a good show, it’s still a Netflix show, the McDonald’s of content providers. And that’s not to say it’s horrible, there’s a lot to like about the build-up of the plot, very intriguing, so exciting, and thrilling! My compliment’s to the creator!

Very happy to see a Korean director get the proper production funding that he deserves (which was way overdue!). Congratulations to everyone who put their all into creating this show 👏 10/10 production, 10/10 acting, 9/10 characters, 10/10 plot build-up, 4/10 plot reveals. Needs work, but good nonetheless 👍

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‘Solar Power’ by Lorde saved my life

Where do I even begin to express my admiration for Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor...

When I was fifteen or sixteen listening to Pure Heroin, I knew I wanted to write. I felt her music speak to me in a way that made me think she could be my dearest friend because my emotions felt seen. When Melodrama dropped and I was a second year university student, I was so drawn to the music and lyrics because of the hints of excitement, adventure, high emotions from great sadness to blissful happiness. I’m now in my twenty-somethings, a different person, and her music spoke to me again.

Often people are drawn to explorations of the coming-of-age genre, which leaves less intrigue for the of-age genre - the era that comes after, the one people dread to talk about openly because it’s not what we expect, but Lorde dared to go there. She talks about how some of us don’t have dreams anymore, some of us are still figuring it out, some of us have seen through our past accomplishments only to realise that it’s not as fulfilling as it could be. We feel hollow, but we still have hope to hold on to. It’s perfectly expressed in this line from Mood Ring, a satirical and empathetic song:

I just wanna know, will it be alright? (Take me to some kinda—) Take me to some kinda place (Anywhere)

We can never go back to our “happier” times like the early 2000s, but when we truly think about it, those were dark times too. So what now?

I'd ride and I'd ride on the carousel 'Round and 'round forever if I could But it's time to cool it down Whatever that means

There’s a reoccurring theme of drug use in Lorde’s newest studio album, like in the song Stoned at the Nail Salon, obviously and the line above from the song talks about the pleasure of drug use preventing her from moving on to the next phase in life. It’s funny and insane because, although I did look forward to this phase of my life that I’m currently in, I’m here now and I dread it because I don’t know what to do. I can’t will things to go my way, and it’s frustrating. But does that mean I can’t let myself enjoy things? Absolutely not. I enjoy my life, not because it’s the perfect life but because it’s mine.

Couldn't wait to turn fifteen Then you blink and it's been ten years Growing up a little at a time, then all at once Everybody wants the best for you But you gotta want it for yourself, my love

I’m in love with this pre-chorus from Secrets from a Girl (Who’s Seen it All). It felt like a hug from the moment I listened to it, and I felt so comforted. I really needed that! There’s so many beautiful moments to look forward to in our lives, and we need to be here to experience them.

I’ve always been a sensitive soul, I thought I felt things too much which made me different, and I didn’t like that in the past because I wanted to blend in. But now more than ever, I truly appreciate those tender qualities in people and myself - vulnerability, sincerity, authenticity - these are qualities that each one of us finds within ourselves.

There’s a negative connotation behind “biasa aja” or “ordinary” because mediocre doesn’t get enough praise. But there’s something spiritually satisfying in living life with ease, taking your time - “mendengar hidup dengan pelan” - it’s all we could ever really hope for. 

So that’s what I think about Solar Power, which is a great album and deserves all the praise. Thank you Lorde Ella Yelich-O’Connor, I’m in love with you and your music! 💕

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Hi okay so I’m probably late to the game and this is all quite new to me I’m so lame but it’s just come to my attention that Japanese women have been having this conversation for quite a loooong time on new age partnership. I just read an article written by a Japanese author in which she talks about her clean marriage and it’s kinda blowing my mind: https://granta.com/a-clean-marriage/

This is very cool!? It’s strange to me also because I’m not accustomed to see new age marriages/partnerships in my personal day-to-day life, nonetheless I think it’s a progressive move by these Japanese women, and though it doesn’t address head-on the problems of conventional marriage plus patriarchy, it’s still ahead of its time. I think pretty soon wh*te women are going to be making these “bold” moves into new age marriage, creating a “clean” marriage of their own, and wh*te corporate media are going to label them as progressive, it’s just a matter of time!

I recently read Sam Bett & David Boyd’s translation of ‘Breasts and Eggs’ by Mieko Kawakami and it got me thinking

In 2021, I wanted to read more fiction books. I felt that I was consuming too many non-fiction / self-help books which wasn’t exciting to read anymore, I needed those sweet escapes that a story books could give me, and so I made a pile of mostly fiction books to read this year.  I wanted to read Breasts and Eggs because I had read Ms Ice Sandwich and fell in love with Kawakami’s writing style, or rather the essence of her writing since I was reading an English translation, nonetheless I adored the way she wrote from the perspective of a little boy, the story was short but packed with emotions which fascinated me.

Spoiler warning!

B&E is a story structured in two parts told from the perspective of a Japanese woman, Natsuko, with a career in writing; in the first part, she’s in her early twenties picking up older sister, Makiko, and niece, Midoriko, from the train, her family are visiting her in Tokyo from Osaka, Makiko sets an appointment at a clinic there to get her breasts done, meanwhile Midoriko has recently stopped speaking, and the second part is set 9 years later after she has published her writing, is now an acclaimed writer and desires to have her own child without a partner. This story is about working-class womanhood, and is deeply intimate; I adore sibling dynamics, especially sisterhood, so I loved how Kawakami paints Natsuko and Makiko’s relationship, I was also moved by the depiction of motherhood from Makiko and Midoriko’s characters, which felt like an authentic portrait of a working single mother, and the portrayal of loneliness which Natsuko’s character experiences struck me the most, although it was intense, I relate on an emotional level.

I’ve always found Japanese literature intriguing; I’m not sure exactly what it is, but Japanese authors have a unique way of illustrating the theme of loneliness in their stories, from the build up to how they develop their characters, it hits me to my core because I too am lonely. The turns this novel takes felt natural, and I was surprised in a good way that I as a reader couldn’t feel comfortable in taking a side as to what Natsuko should and shouldn’t do (or want for herself) in her situation. I love novels that digs into grey areas, and womanhood has so many grey areas to explore. On the one hand, it really is crazy to think of artificially inseminating yourself with someone else’s sperm in order to have a child that you’ll then raise on your own (at least for the most parts), and on the other hand, why should non-partnered women who are capable of providing for a child and desire to experience motherhood be prohibited from having that experience? Could being self-partnered and artificial insemination become a norm in the future? Maybe. I myself currently see many women who are moving away from investing in men, living full lives on their own terms, which I think is a beautiful thing, though it comes with its own sacrifices and challenges. Natsuko explores almost all aspects of the coin’s two sides; there’s Yuriko who presents an anti-natalist argument against bringing a life into the world, Makiko is also not entirely on board and does call her out for perhaps being impulsive, then Natsuko meets Onda and is put off from choosing to inseminate herself with this creepy bloke’s sperm, but Aizawa tells her he’s willing to provide her his sperm in order for her to have a child, and everything happens naturally. Aizawa is a man she respects, even adores at one point, so she’s fine with him being the father of her child. The ending surprised me because I wasn’t expecting for it to be that full of a conclusion, which is honestly great though I was fully prepared for an open-ended, mystery, question-mark ending. In the end, Natsuko and Aizawa don’t have a relationship beyond being co-parents, so the romance had an end, but it wasn’t all that upsetting because Natsuko herself is okay with being unpartnered. A very intriguing novel for the themes it presents, and great contemporary, working-class take on those themes too!

I never would’ve thought that this conversation on companionship, being self-partnered and reproductive rights could be brought to the forefront and discussed openly, let alone be depicted in fiction, so I’m very happy to hold this book in my hands which deserves all the praise and love from readers all around the world. At first glance, this wouldn’t be a fiction story I’d think a lot of people would want to read, most people tend to gravitate towards portrayals of romance and even if audiences want to see an “independent woman” it’s through a limiting lens that doesn’t bring much nuances, so I think this book is ground-breaking for being bold and daring whilst telling a story that feels natural.

5-star novel for me for sure 💕 Loved the touch of magical realism too, I thought it was great and well done. I’m curious to know Midoriko’s story 9 years later, though I understand why she’s not part of the narrative since part 2 focuses Natsuko’s story who is the story’s narrator. I believe this book deserves a movie adaptation too, because it has those cinematic moments, and the characters are so well written I think they’ll translate well onto screen. More novels about grey areas in womanhood journey, please!

Last updated: August 15th 2021

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I recently read Sam Bett & David Boyd’s translation of ‘Breasts and Eggs’ by Mieko Kawakami and it got me thinking

In 2021, I wanted to read more fiction books. I felt that I was consuming too many non-fiction / self-help books which wasn’t exciting to read anymore, I needed those sweet escapes that a story books could give me, and so I made a pile of mostly fiction books to read this year.  I wanted to read Breasts and Eggs because I had read Ms Ice Sandwich and fell in love with Kawakami’s writing style, or rather the essence of her writing since I was reading an English translation, nonetheless I adored the way she wrote from the perspective of a little boy, the story was short but packed with emotions which fascinated me.

Spoiler warning!

B&E is a story structured in two parts told from the perspective of a Japanese woman, Natsuko, with a career in writing; in the first part, she’s in her early twenties picking up older sister, Makiko, and niece, Midoriko, from the train, her family are visiting her in Tokyo from Osaka, Makiko sets an appointment at a clinic there to get her breasts done, meanwhile Midoriko has recently stopped speaking, and the second part is set 9 years later after she has published her writing, is now an acclaimed writer and desires to have her own child without a partner. This story is about working-class womanhood, and is deeply intimate; I adore sibling dynamics, especially sisterhood, so I loved how Kawakami paints Natsuko and Makiko’s relationship, I was also moved by the depiction of motherhood from Makiko and Midoriko’s characters, which felt like an authentic portrait of a working single mother, and the portrayal of loneliness which Natsuko’s character experiences struck me the most, although it was intense, I relate on an emotional level.

I’ve always found Japanese literature intriguing; I’m not sure exactly what it is, but Japanese authors have a unique way of illustrating the theme of loneliness in their stories, from the build up to how they develop their characters, it hits me to my core because I too am lonely. The turns this novel takes felt natural, and I was surprised in a good way that I as a reader couldn’t feel comfortable in taking a side as to what Natsuko should and shouldn’t do (or want for herself) in her situation. I love novels that digs into grey areas, and womanhood has so many grey areas to explore. On the one hand, it really is crazy to think of artificially inseminating yourself with someone else’s sperm in order to have a child that you’ll then raise on your own (at least for the most parts), and on the other hand, why should non-partnered women who are capable of providing for a child and desire to experience motherhood be prohibited from having that experience? Could being self-partnered and artificial insemination become a norm in the future? Maybe. I myself currently see many women who are moving away from investing in men, living full lives on their own terms, which I think is a beautiful thing, though it comes with its own sacrifices and challenges. Natsuko explores almost all aspects of the coin’s two sides; there’s Yuriko who presents an anti-natalist argument against bringing a life into the world, Makiko is also not entirely on board and does call her out for perhaps being impulsive, then Natsuko meets Onda and is put off from choosing to inseminate herself with this creepy bloke’s sperm, but Aizawa tells her he’s willing to provide her his sperm in order for her to have a child, and everything happens naturally. Aizawa is a man she respects, even adores at one point, so she’s fine with him being the father of her child. The ending surprised me because I wasn’t expecting for it to be that full of a conclusion, which is honestly great though I was fully prepared for an open-ended, mystery, question-mark ending. In the end, Natsuko and Aizawa don’t have a relationship beyond being co-parents, so the romance had an end, but it wasn’t all that upsetting because Natsuko herself is okay with being unpartnered. A very intriguing novel for the themes it presents, and great contemporary, working-class take on those themes too!

I never would’ve thought that this conversation on companionship, being self-partnered and reproductive rights could be brought to the forefront and discussed openly, let alone be depicted in fiction, so I’m very happy to hold this book in my hands which deserves all the praise and love from readers all around the world. At first glance, this wouldn’t be a fiction story I’d think a lot of people would want to read, most people tend to gravitate towards portrayals of romance and even if audiences want to see an “independent woman” it’s through a limiting lens that doesn’t bring much nuances, so I think this book is ground-breaking for being bold and daring whilst telling a story that feels natural.

5-star novel for me for sure 💕 Loved the touch of magical realism too, I thought it was great and well done. I’m curious to know Midoriko’s story 9 years later, though I understand why she’s not part of the narrative since part 2 focuses Natsuko’s story who is the story’s narrator. I believe this book deserves a movie adaptation too, because it has those cinematic moments, and the characters are so well written I think they’ll translate well onto screen. More novels about grey areas in womanhood journey, please!

Last updated: August 15th 2021

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Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005) is a show that aged really well!

Ever since the world entered unprecedented times, more people are looking for comfort and what better way to feel comfort than to re-watch beloved series and movies? Nothing compares to the rush of nostalgia that comes from watching a movie or series for another time. It’s a little embarrassing, but I can’t help it.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a show I enjoy watching to this day because of it’s superb story-telling. It’s been years since the last episode aired. I remember waking up to watch it in the morning as a kid, or in the afternoon after school because I had no friends to play with (I also grew up in a desert and it was too hot to be playing outside anyways, I could never part from my beloved TV and air-conditioner). I remember that empty feeling that washed over me after watching the last episode. Followed by the enjoyment of watching reruns. I felt the show was done with so much justice, I wasn’t disappointed at all, and we had fanfiction too. Everything was splendid! Then they stopped the reruns but I was too busy because with IGCSEs and A-Levels to be upset. Re-watching wasn’t what it is now; today, streaming has made it so convenient to just keep on watching what you actually want. It’d been years, quite a while, since I last watched ATLA when I watched it on Netflix in early 2021. This time, I watched it from beginning to end with my older sister; it became our dinner show, a show we watched on the couch whilst eating dinner. Our last dinner show was How I Met Your Mother, another nostalgia show, but I don’t enjoy re-watching that show in my adolescence, and this show got away with too much *glares in fatphobia, misogyny, transphobia, racism, etc.*.

ATLA was something I could watch for nostalgia and enjoyment because it’s a wholesome kid’s show that’s gaining more fans thanks to the rise of streaming, and rightfully so. There’s lessons I take and apply in my day-to-day life, which isn’t very deep but it’s still somewhat meaningful nonetheless. For the most parts, my feelings towards the show haven’t changed, though there’s things I appreciate more now compared when I was a kid. For example, I’m an enemies-to-lovers enthusiast through and through, I loved Zutara, loved those fanfictions, but now I really appreciate Kataraang a lot. Probably the moment when we al knew like ‘damn this kid is in love with this girl’ was the scene with Guru Pathiik, and that shit hits heavy to this day. There’s no motives or agenda for Aang, he doesn’t try to win her or anything, just wants to be the best friend he can be to everyone around him. Aang is a character I wholeheartedly admire, along with Katara. She’s the brightest bender of them all, the way she took down Azula was epic because she could’ve electrocuted Azula and herself with that water trick but she didn’t, she did a quick water-freeze move with control and that was amazing to watch! Lately I’m noticing that there’s (too many) people that don’t like Katara’s character which is odd because before she was a well-loved fan favourite. I think it’s because now it’s cool to hate the “good” female character that the show wants people to root for; it might’ve began with the take-down of Gabriella from HSM in favour of Sharpay Evans by a Buzzfeed article, and though it’s valid she’s still Sharpay Evans who will bully anyone in her path IRL. She’s the mean girl and that’s fine! Not every character needs to have a redemption arc. The argument I’ve seen to hate Katara (and Gabriella too for that matter) is because she’s annoying, but to me that’s not substantial enough. So? I’m annoying, you’re probably annoying, everyone’s annoying, what else? Katara slander will NOT be tolerated in any of my spaces, and I personally don’t think Azula needs an onscreen redemption arc, she’s our King Joffrey but ATLA is waaaaay better than whatever GoT was. I also really enjoy Toph Beifong! A very fun character to watch, I think she’s great. I love watching the relationship Toph and Katara have, they’re basically sisters and I’m a sucker for a good onscreen sibling dynamics. The book that’s always excited me most is the third, particularly the first half, and my favourite episode now after countless re-watches is The Runaway, fun episode plus Katara and Toph character moments are very well done, I live for great onscreen character moments! My favourite episode of all time used to be The Ember Island Players, I love satire especially when it’s done right and this was done beautifully well! Other favourite episodes of mine are the very first episode, The Northern Air Temple, The Tales of Ba Sing Se, The Crossroads of Destiny, Sokka’s Master, and The Beach. A character that I enjoy now and didn’t quite appreciate so much when I was younger is Mai; any female character who’s good with throwing blades has my heart, honestly (re: Hela from Thor Ragnarok). I see parts of myself in Mai’s character, and they’re traits which I wasn’t prideful of in my youth when I wanted so badly to fit in and be likeable, today I embrace those parts (my quiet side) with kindness. I was so mad for my girl when Zuko called her a big blah, that was uncalled for. And speaking of Zuko I really enjoy watching him and his tantrums, very funny! 

Ever since I was a kid, I really wanted to bend elements so bad, I just think it’s so cool! I used to want to bend fire but now that I think about it I don’t think I have what it takes to harness and control this element, I’d need an Uncle Iroh to set me on the right path for sure. Now I think I’d want to bend air, going with my Aquarius Sun to match element to my personality, plus air is everywhere 👍

To me, superhero shit looks better animated and these days I find myself watching a lot of animation for the art plus stories. I can still watch a live action but it’s not as engaging for me. So I have a profound appreciation for animation productions, and this production is 10/10! Story writing 10/10, characters 10/10, and voice acting is also 10/10! I acknowledge my bias, but even as I’m comparing this with other tv/movie franchises, this one has stayed consistent with its intention and impact. For example, I was a huge potterhead, but I’m now distancing myself from anything that gives profit to R*wling not only because she’s a transphobe but she’s also not a good writer. I think HP was intended to be like ATLA where it tries to give teachable lessons to children ranging from casual (friendship, love, etc.) to the more difficult ones (war, death, bigotry, etc.), but the plot doesn’t match the intention, so the impact depended on viewer’s perspective. We see “love” portrayed as being above all else including death (with the exception of Lily who was sacrificed unfairly in my opinion) because it saves Harry twice, but we know in the real brutal world it doesn’t work like that because love is not sufficient enough, and on top of everything Voldemort is a power-hungry n*zi who doesn’t care about love, friendship, etc. In ATLA, the plot was centred around a moral compass and it wasn’t cloaked by “love” and/or “friendship”, so when Aang makes solid decision to not kill Ozai, it’s followed with him unlocking the power to take a bender’s abilities away from them, leaving Ozai powerless which works and is an incredible victory for him. So whilst there are lessons on friendship in ATLA, it’s not the necessarily the cure for their problems; they work together as a team to defeat Ozai’s army, sure, but they’re also skilled fighters in their own right. One of the main takeaways (in particular from Avatara Roku and Sozin’s friendship and overall story) is that anyone is capable of good and evil, so everyone should be treated like they’re capable of change, and I think this is a valuable lesson to teach children which I thought was well executed in the show. The only valid criticism of ATLA is cultural appropriation, though I’m not from the cultures that the creators took inspiration from so I don’t have points to share on the issue. I’ve lived in Asia for a majority of my life and I’m an ex-political science student so I have my own thoughts on the politics of representation, personally I chose not to look to Western-based productions to represent my culture, so it’s not surprising to me when there’s inaccuracies that’re bound to be there. Overall, I think ATLA is a great show that aged well in comparison to other franchises, and I’ll probably be re-watching in my granny years 💕

That’s all the rambling I can do on ATLA for now! To close I just want to say, fan-made HP content (shoutout to A Very Potter Musical, great satire also kuya Darren 😍) is greater than anything R*wling has and will ever write, produce, create, etc., ATLA does it for me in terms of nostalgia, story-telling, plot, production, etc., and we’re not defined by the things we watch ✌

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WandaVision (2021) is Excellent!

So I watched the WandaVision (2021) episodes as it came out weekly on DisneyPlus, it’s been a while nonetheless I still would like to gush and express my adoration towards this series because wow was I blown away!

The first 2-3 episodes were slow but it’s understandable as they’re warming up towards the plot. Then things really pick up after episode 3, it gets so exciting and brilliantly done. LOVE the sitcom references and aesthetic, this is a TV show that knows and loves TV, a very well done homage! The finale was rushed for me and was like ehhhhh though I guess cov*d was partly to blame. I thought the final showdown scene between Agatha and Wanda needed to be more intense, I know we all know Wanda survives and it’s THAT kind of superhero story where good triumphs, but usually those showdown scenes have the hero save the world in the nick of time, like they’re doing everything they can and we as a viewer are tricked into believing they could be done for - but of course they win! So it wasn’t that for me, and needed to be fleshed out to have the perfect build up.

The characters... phenomenal! Acting on point! Everyone deserves flowers and more. And Wanda... girl... I’m rooting for you! This was the female superhero story that centered her and her journey. This show was the perfect way to trick the fanboys into watching a show about a woman’s journey with grief, mourning, and love. We love to see it! We love to see Wanda’s story coming into her own as THEE Scarlet Witch. I literally only care about the female characters in the MCU, they’re all that matters to me, so I was really thrilled by how much I enjoyed this show. I can rant all day long about how annoying females representation in the superhero genre of movies and TV, they’re always the liable one, the tragic hero, never the leader, so it’s not lost on me this show got people (men) upset and it’s one of the few that centres a female character. Wanda Maximoff is a complex character, she grapples with her powers, emotions, and doing what’s right. Great storytelling! The writing in this show is 10/10 for sure. I can definitely see Marvel stirring her character towards the morally grey anti-hero, and I can’t wait to keep rooting for her! I want more Wanda! Also, can’t wait to see Captain Marvel, Valkyrie take the lead in the next MCU movies, it’s their time!

I recently found time to watch The Legend of Korra (2014), I’m a huge ATLA fan, and at the time Korra came out I hadn’t watched it for reasons I can’t remember, but now I thank my younger self for saving this series for my twenty-something self to watch for the first time. Makes me feel like a kid again! Now this show... perfect female hero depiction! Not only is Korra the most powerful one as the Avatar, she also embodies the role of leader gradually. I love that! Loved watching her journey as an Avatar in training to Avatar, and as just Korra the Southern Water Tribe girl, the girl who’s been through a lot, and dealing with traumas. Great storytelling of grief, hope, and more! And the Avatar creators really know how to make the perfect final showdown scenes, they really will have you thinking it’s the end for our heroes but of course it’s not that kind of story! I definitely saw similar themes in WandaVision when I watched Korra, even if it might be a reach to others. It's refreshing to see superhero stories and the-chosen-one tropes centre a female character, even if they don't challenge the story/trope at the core, they still followed the formula that works but is a bit shallow. More powerful, multifaceted female superheroes as rightful leaders, please!

4.5/5 stars overall for WandaVision! Only because I was slightly disappointed by the finale, but very excited for what’s next. Last edited: 12th June 2021

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A Review of ‘The Joys of Motherhood’ by Buchi Emecheta

The Joys of Motherhood is a novel by Nigerian novelist, Buchi Emecheta. As the title suggests, this book is a story about motherhood from the main character, Nnu Ego, set in Southern Nigeria early 1900′s to late 1950′s (so just before Nigeria is declared an independent state). Nnu Ego is a woman who give all her energy, time, money, everything she has into raising her children. We see her journey from a hopeful, naïve girl from an Ibo village who gets thrusted into the reality of life in Lagos. The story is heartbreaking because Nnu Ego is tested time and time again; she does nothing that would be considered revolutionary, if anything she accepts her role and is dutiful in tending to her responsibilities, even going as far as taking on more than she can handle, yet she doesn’t quit at any point in the novel. Towards the end, she’s remembered as a Great Mother, and that’s all.

I admire the depiction of institutional motherhood in this novel. When we talk about a domestic household, it’s often we refer to the mother as the backbone. Mothering, child-rearing, care-taking are examples of unseen labour, labour that’s not perceived as real labour because, well, mothers do it “out of love” and obligation. Therefore, women rarely ever receive paychecks for the work that they do. Despite being an integral unit to her family and economic unit in her community, she doesn’t get a chance to reap any benefits from her labour. Her own children grow to pursue individual destinies which come before family, leaving their mother alone without her children to provide for her in her old age. The plot build up was done brilliantly in the most devastating way in my opinion. I think it was intentional to tell this story in the way that Emecheta has; it’s not only a cautionary tale but a motherhood story of the common and untold, which mothers often don’t speak about, put together as one. And it’s not just that mothers make huge sacrifices, people make sacrifices all the time but when mothers do, it’s either belittled or romanticised. Rarely are they listened to nor can they be raw and honest about their everyday hardships. The system at the centre of it all is institutional motherhood tied to patriarchal capitalism which thrives on the subordination of women.

10/10! I hope I haven’t given away too much of the plot and what the story is about because I highly recommend everyone who hasn’t read this book to read this book, it’s a must-read for all! I read the eBook version of this novel on my smartphone, I tend to read slower when I’m reading on a device (and I already read slow from paper book!), so it took me a while to finish reading. When I got towards the end I couldn’t put it down, I just had to keep reading to see where the story would end. I’m still currently trying to process the ending; I remember reading the last sentence, I put my phone away and I just sat in silence trying to process the entirety of this novel. It was just that powerful to me, I was shook to the core.

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A Review of ‘Feminism, Interrupted: Disrupting Power’ by Lola Olufemi

Feminism, Interrupted: Disrupting Power tackles nuances in feminism by London-based Black feminist writer and grassroots activist, Lola Olufemi. The mainstreaming of feminism has resulted in t-shirts and tote bags plastered with the word ‘feminist’ - however, feminism is not a commodity. This book is revolutionary in that it sets out to reclaim feminism from the grips of consumerism, and it does so by analysing state violence against women, reproductive justice, transmisogyny, sex work, gendered Islamaphobia, food, prisons, art and more.

Personally, I consider myself quite well-read on feminism and gender studies, so the study itself isn’t necessarily new to me, however I found new interpretations and analyses from reading this book which I resonated with. I came across reproductive justice fairly recently, and after reading this book I’ve learnt more about it. I love this book! It tackles contemporary issues, moreover it connects the dots in transnational feminism really well so I think anyone from any part of the world can relate with what this book discusses. And it’s a relatively short read too, gets straight to the point which I like, so concise in my opinion! Plus they cover a wide range of topics so you'll learn a lot from reading every chapter in the book. There’s other books out there on feminism which are great too, but some write about topics from their chosen geographical standpoint, nothing wrong with that but then it means there’s layers which the analysis just cannot interact with or acknowledge. So I’ve read Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall, and though I really like the book, I personally thought the lens used to analyse feminism was an American one, so although I was able to understand American politics and race better from reading the book, it didn’t quite connect the dots for me. Feminism is, after all, a transnational movement - it makes zero sense to sell t-shirts with the slogan ‘I am a feminist’ but use cheap exploitative labour from the global south to make those shirts and sell for a profit. So we really need to check in ourselves and communities especially when it comes to social political issues that have real ripple effects in the world at large.

10/10! I can’t recommend this book enough. My favourite chapter was on art, I thought this chapter was so beautifully put together and made me grow my admiration for BIPOC artists. I’m truly saddened by the systems of injustice (poverty, racism, incarceration, impoverishment) which have left many women incapable of fulfilling their artistic, creative potential. I applaud Lola Olufemi for their work, both on the ground and in academia, in reclaiming feminism for those who need it the most. We don’t just all simply have to be feminists, we should actively do the work required to achieve solidarity.

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My thoughts on Netflix’s ‘The Umbrella Academy’ Seasons 1 & 2 and the liable (s)hero

Hello! I’m going to be talking about The Umbrella Academy. I got hooked on this show when it came out and my friend recommended it to me, at the time we were on our final semesters of university and had a lot of free time because we weren’t expected to take a lot of classes to focus on our final undergrad assignment, so why not binge watch TV shows! I remember the pace being quite slow, I wasn’t too invested to begin with but then later on as the episodes progressed I got so into it. And when the second season came out during this whole pandemic fiasco which was the perfect gift for us nerds!

I want to firstly mention that I've not read the comics and I don't think I'm planning on doing it soon, but I do like watching superhero movies and series. I can't describe what I'm into I just know that I like what I like which ranges from A to Z. So as an adaptation I can't say much on how the show does the comics justice, but from what I've heard from readers of the comics who've watched the show, the show pretty much follows the story from the comics (not word for word but not too loosely either) which is great I imagine. I can tell the series shows the story of these characters who we know and are invest in very well, it gets straight to the action, drama, and develops intriguing plot lines. I personally love siblings dynamics in TV shows; this family dynamic is so interesting to watch onscreen, from the flashback scenes of when they were little (I really do hope there's a spin-off with the kids!) to their current relationship that they have now with each other as siblings. The first season sets the story straight, then the next season steps it up a notch which is awesome! I love Klaus' character plot, especially the banter that he has with Ben, love those scenes and I'm glad we got to see more of Ben in season 2! In the first season I was drawn to Diego’s character specifically, and I also was intrigued by the backstory involving other characters like Reginald, Pogo and Grace. I like all the characters except for Luther but I can respect what he brings to the family dynamic and the role he plays in the story (even if it's very frustrating to watch). I like the story a lot, I can tell the writing is well thought out and it’s captivating to watch the story play out with each episode. And of course, the production is top tier, American productions really know how to produce high quality films, I really appreciate this and that it was paired beautifully with a good story! I thought the plot had pretty much every element needed to make a superhero franchise, from the conflict, character, even to (problematic) stereotypes...

I'm not very invested with superhero movies in general, but some of my favourite movies are those superhero movies. I love the Spiderman movies (the Toby Maguire ones are iconic, Andrew Garfield ones are good I enjoyed it, and I love Tom Holland's Spiderman a lot), haven't watched all of Thor but I really like Thor Ragnorok, obsessed with Black Panther, love Captain Marvel, I've watched all the Avenger movies without having watched any Ironman movies, the Hulk movie and the first Captain America movie. I also watched some of X-Men movies but I’m less invested in them compared to my mild obsession with the Avengers; I like Days of Future Past, Logan was so brilliant, and I've seen the other films but they haven't really stuck with me. So I get the gist of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (quite familiar with DC but not as much as MCU) and I have to say, I'm so done with the liable characters who are 9 out of 10 times women in these superhero franchises. Vanya is the liable character, Diego says this himself to her in season one when their house is intruded by Hazel and Cha Cha - everyone's using their powers to defeat them meanwhile Vanya does nothing because she can't and gets bruised. And I’m sick of it. I’ve seen this before with the Scarlet Witch (Wanda) and Jean Grey, and every time it’s annoying for me to watch. They’re the most powerful character, but they have no control over themselves it’s annoying! Wanda ends up having to kill Vision and it’s very upsetting for her because she loves him, and it’s all just frustrating to watch as a viewer because of her very bad timing and almost incompetence to be logical. Jean Grey is killed by Wolverine because she lost control of her powers and then in the Sophie Turner one she also dies to save her friends. 

Only tragedy for these lot who most if not all the time are women. There’s already a visible lack of superwomen, so with this liable character trope it’s sad that when women are included in these stories we’re inclined to see them through how the patriarchy views women. If they’re not the hero then they’re the love interest, and if they do get to be the hero it’s the tragic hero incapable of control. Women are “strong” and are meant to save everyone but they’re delicate, too delicate that it gets in the way of them mastering their powers. Women are emotional, they can’t be logical beings so they’re not the leader despite being the most powerful one in the group. Captain Marvel flips this stereotype on its head; that scene when we think there’s about to be a showdown between Captain Marvel and Jude Law’s character (can’t remember the name for the life of me), it’s meant to be one-on-one with no powers but she refuses, blasts him with her fist and says to him that she has nothing to prove to him. Iconic! Now that's a movie and character which is clearly written by women for women and I want more of it! I want to see more female superheros who aren’t the tragic hero with bad timing, zero control over everything including their feelings and powers. The story arc of the liable hero is overdone and predictable, so I really would like to see literally anything else. 

Vanya’s story arc was quite predictable. Of course she has to fall in love with the wrong people at the wrong time, and of course she has to face a nearly impossible dilemma to solve. From the beginning I knew I just didn't like Vanya's character but wasn't sure why, then I realised this female character was written by men, and that's why I found her so.. annoying. She's brilliant obviously don't get me wrong, she's the most powrful one but the fact that this had to be paired with her trauma from years of being neglected was utterly corny. It’s also not lost on me that there’s 7 Hargreeve children and 2 are girls; Allison’s story arc for a while was attached to an unnecessary romance with Luther, and Vanya is the seemingly incompetent one but plot twist, she’s actually the one to watch. I already knew the love story between Vanya and Sissy would be too good to last, but regardless I feel for her because Allison gets to have more than one romance throughout the course of the series, and though they also don’t really last either it’s not as heartbreaking for her to cope with when they end. Vanya gets better at controlling her powers in the second season, but she’s kind of the same lost character because she loses her memories and almost has to start from the beginning. Season 2 was also interesting to watch because it introduced a new character: Lila. So that’s another female superhero who’s also a WOC, great, but her story for me felt a bit like the liable one mostly because of her backstory which of course leads to a difficult dilemma towards the end. It'll be interesting to see what they decide to do with Lila's character in the future seasons, I don't think we really got to know her very well and I'm excited to find out more.

I really can’t wait for the next season but no rush, I can wait for how ever long it takes for the team to not slack, stay true to the story and deliver another season we deserve to watch (haven’t forgotten about GoT’s tragic downfall!). The screen writing is a 10/10 surprisingly for an American production, I hope it stays top tier in the upcoming seasons *fingerscrossed*. The production is obviously 10/10 and cast is 10/10. I guess the only thing lacking is the character, particularly the women which the show seems to not know what to do with them (and yet they know exactly what to do with the male characters). We only got to see a split second of the new Ben and I can’t wait to discover more of who the new Ben really is, which should be pretty exciting to watch!

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A Review of ‘I Was Their American Dream’ by Malaka Gharib

I Was Their American Dream is a graphic memoir written and illustrated by artist and journalist Malaka Gharib, a Filipino-Egyptian American immigrant. This book is a coming of age story about Malaka’s upbringing; Malaka’s mother is a Filipino woman who migrated from the Philippines with her family during the late 70′s civil unrest, and her father moved to the US for higher education and later got a job, they met, got married and shortly after had a daughter, Malaka. It was an American dream, until they eventually got a divorce and went separate ways, Malaka lived with her mother and saw her father every other weekend, and then every summer in Egypt when her father relocated and remarried.

I love this exploration of a lived experience third culture upbringing. There’s so many of these stories lately and it sheds light into what actual real families look like in all its complexities. Malaka says it herself, her family look nothing like the ones she saw on TV. I especially loved those tender moments when Malaka tells one story to sort of make a point and takes readers to another brief story which shows the point without saying it, utterly beautiful. If you’ve read (which you need to!) I’m talking about the ending, and other snapshot memories throughout the memoir like of her dad and summers in Egypt, those were wonderful illustrations! Those snapshot memories of her dad hits a soft spot for me because from what she tells readers, he’s a strict man-of-the-house father, religious, raising his family in the way God wants him to, but in the snapshot memories she has of him, he’s a different man, loving, kind, sweet, caring, gentle, loves his daughter very much. Gets me quite teary-eyed because I can see my father in that way too. My father can be a difficult man to understand sometimes, but when I think about my memories of him, the really good ones, it’s a snapshot moment in time that lives forever of him and little me. The way she describes her Filipino family made me think of my Indonesian family, in Asian cultures it’s actually very common to live in the same house with other extended family members at some point. Because of her family she definitely identifies as Filipino but other Filipinos might say otherwise. I think with kids who have dual or multiple identities and brought up in intersectional spaces of culture, there’s just going to be other people who feel they can tell you who you are and who you’re not, I know I’ve had that being raised in one country and born in another, it’s quite frustrating but also puts many things into perspective. As Malaka says in her book, all of it (her Egyptian, Filipino, American identity) is a part of her no matter what, even if she speaks mostly English, not really fluent in Arabic, doesn’t really belong to America, she is who she is.

10/10! My first graphic novel read and I truly loved it!

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A Review of ‘Know My Name’ by Chanel Miller

Chanel Miller’s book, Know My Name, is a memoir retelling the accounts of a rape case in which she went by the pseudonym Emily Doe. The People v. Turner Stanford rape case found Turner guilty of three counts of sexual assault by the jury, however the judge expressed concern for the “young man’s” future, thus his sentence was shortened from six years to six months in county jail. Brock was released after three months in county jail.

This controversy sparked outrage in the public eye. Far too many cases have shown lack of regards towards victims, and this case was no different. Class, race, gender, these are all factors that when analysing the case show that structures of power benefit the rich, white people, and men. His achievements showcase him as a dedicated hardworking citizen, but Chanel’s achievements were not highlighted and her reputation was tainted by the fact that she drank alcohol at a party that served people alcohol. His whiteness portrayed him as a young man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, not as a perpetrator capable of coercion, rape, sexual violence.

I’ve been following Chanel’s Instagram for a while now, I love her art and the stories she tells. Later on I learnt she studied creative arts and it just made all the sense. I didn’t read the full statement she made when it was first published online back when she was known as Emily Doe, but I did read the article and could already tell the person behind those words was a gifted crafter of words and stories, she had more to say I just knew, and then 2 or 3 years later she published this beautiful memoir. The last memoir I read was Roxane Gay’s and both that and this memoir tell a survivor’s story. Because Chanel’s case was handled by the court, she deals with those (I would imagine) burdening tasks and experiences which comes with being involved in a legal case. I can’t imagine having a traumatizing experience only to be under examination by a court right afterwards about said trauma. So this was a thicc book, whereas Roxane’s was not as thicc, she tells readers what happened, the emotions that were felt and then the impacts in the “after” which was all just as impactful of a story. And that’s what life of a survivor is told as: there’s the “before” followed by an “after” which goes for the rest of eternity. Chanel’s “before” looked ordinary, happy, she was her own person, she was free. And then suddenly life splits into two parts when the “after” arrives. The sentence that stuck with me the most was one towards the end in which she says something along the lines of there’s no ending which is the happy part because she’ll always find a way to continue. I thought that was so powerful, and beautifully well said.

10/10! It’s no secret that this book is thicc and I understand why, my first time reading this I didn’t really get to sink into the story as much as I’d like. Also there’s a book I want to read for a book club, so I sorta skimmed throough this current read. Definitely would read it a second time. I like the metaphors, sounds basic to say but she is a creative individual and that’s how I’ll always see her. I hope whenever Chanel is ready we get to see more of her art, I can tell from her Instagram she has so much more to offer and I’d love to see it beyond the app! I love seeing survivors take the lead in their stories and just thrive in their own ways. There’s an unspoken pressure society puts on survivors when in reality these are just people who want to live and enjoy life. I myself have had to re-evaluate my experiences as a woman, and what came from that was I couldn’t see some of those moments I had as merely bad experiences anymore because it was harassment. It was painful to stomach, but it shined a light on my actions as well as emotions. I don’t think as of now I would come forward with my own story, but having a story in and of itself makes me just know when I talk to other women and girls. We just know. It’s horrible. I love all my girls, all my womxn who stick by me, even the ones that don’t know of my existence but I know online. I hear you, and I’m with you, the survivors.

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A Review of HBO’s ‘Euphoria’ Season 1

Hi! I’m going to be talking about the first season of the HBO TV series, Euphoria. A few weeks ago my body has been experiencing fatigueness, so I’ve taken time to rest and what better way to relax than to snuggle in bed binge watching TV shows! I started my HBO Go free trail so I thought, hey, why not rewatch this show that I really liked from summer 2019. Careful for spoilers ahead as I will be talking about the plot.

So before I begin talking about the show, I just wanna say that the genre that is teen melodrama hits a soft spot for me, I love watching Skins UK and other shows that are in the teen drama category. I’ve watched my fair share of these types of shows and I can definitely see differences between the UK and US productions, personally I favour the UK produced shows just because I like the way they use humour whilst also exploring melodrama. The End Of The F*cking World is a great show which does it for me when I think about the things I love in the teen melodrama shows/movies; there’s dark humour (like actually dark sad depressing humour not problematic humour!), exploration of duality through character relationship dynamics, character development, the writing is just exquisite and the acting is wow! So, when I watched Euphoria I can definitely see the similarities to Skins UK, this was exactly what the show was going for (if I’m not mistaken) and I can see why they chose to have some resemblances since both shows deal with similar issues.

The format of each of the episodes is the same as Skins UK, each episode centres around one character and we learn more about them and their personal life in the episode. I think this format is so great especially for these types of shows that revolve around a set of characters, the layout makes it so that understanding each character is easier to do because you get one episode that focuses on them. I love Rue’s character; the exploration of addiction in her storyline was very interesting to watch, they also touch on mental disorder in her scenes as well as love, sexuality, family, great stuff! I think what the show does really well is its exploration of femininity and womanhood because of the stunning female characters created on the show. We see Jules struggling with having a balanced relationship with femininity because of her trans identity, Cassie’s relationships with men that’ve be tarnished (her dad, boyfriend, lovers), Maddy in an abusive relationship with Nate, Kat dealing with body image and navigating sex etc. The shows portrayal of masculinity is interesting to say the least; on the one hand there’s fathers who are caring, thoughtful such as Rue and Jule’s dads, on the other hand there’s Nate’s dad who’s terrible (and so is Nate!). After watching the last episode there’s a couple things I just thought “damn wish they could’ve covered that” and for me this was the character-episode layout, and more family dynamics. In Skins UK, each episode is titled after a character, and each season wraps up the whole crew’s plots for the next season which does sort of the same thing. So from the first season that we meet the crew members, we know their story and each of their dynamics, and in Euphoria season 1 there were characters that we didn’t get to see much of which was a shame. I read that the reason is because these characters’ episodes are coming up in the next season, but I think that might make the plot go a bit all over the place since we already have storylines that we want to see progress as well as character explorations that we didn’t see in the last season. I was itching to see an episode dedicated to Fezco, Lexi, Ethan, for me there was some episodes with characters that I thought didn’t really need to be the focus point. The male characters they chose to be an episode focus point wouldn't have been who I would've picked, but that's just me. And I wanted to see more family dynamics play out with other characters besides Rue, it’d be interesting to see Nate’s mother have a bit of dialogue and story to compliment Nate’s story. There were things the show touches on, most of the time these scenes involve a male character in the show, and the context felt a little off for me. I get that discussing "difficult" issues is going to make everyone uncomfortable, but that doesn't mean the show can't address things in interesting ways whilst also making it clear to the audience that these things (misogyny, assault, harassment, pedophilia etc.) are not okay in the slightest bit.

I find that the British melodrama series tend to do really really well in the writing from dialogue to story craft, but the American ones go all out for the production whether this is music, cinematography, hair, make-up and wardrobe, etc. I love those cinematic scenes from Euphoria that we got, made me so mesmerised I love it! Because I’m someone who prefers the writing to engage me rather than visuals, I still prefer the British-produced melodramas. But I think now it’s interesting talking about British vs American TV, I’ve seen lines sort of blurred in terms of the culture. Sex Education, though it’s set in Britain, uses a lot of American culture influences in the production from clothes to soundtrack, even Moordale the school looks somewhat more like an American high school and not a British sixth form college but I digress.

I give the screen writing for Euphoria season one a 9/10, love Rue's narration of the story, for story and character I give 6 or 7/10, again I just think the pick for which male characters to explore in the episodes was off, and the production gets 10/10! Melodramas are my favourite series to rewatch, I’d definitely watch season one of Euphoria again and I also can’t wait for the next season!

Last edited: August 28th 2020

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A Review of ‘Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body’ by Roxane Gay

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body is a memoir written by author Roxane Gay about her story of trauma and life as a woman of size. Trigger Warning: I will be discussing sexual assault.

I had known of Roxane Gay before from reading her online essays on pop culture and her weight journey (which I thoroughly enjoyed reading!), but in the beginning when I discovered her I had no idea that sexual assault was part of her story. When I found out that she was gang raped at the age of 12, I was shocked. The thought of that being anyone’s story is heartbreaking to me, and my heart goes out to anyone who was a victim of sexual assault. I read the memoir just knowing of her assault story recently, and the way she doesn’t hold back and takes total control of her story is so incredible, I admire her so much. She also talks about her relationship with food; because of trauma, food was what she turned to because of loneliness and the immediate satisfaction that food brought. Trauma makes one not have any regard for their own well-being, and feel that they should settle for what they get, never ask for more. In her narrative, she also talks about discrimination in the medical field. Often fat people are made to believe that their fatness and any other health issue that they may face is their fault. It’s dehumanising because of the lack of regard people will have for the feelings and well-being of a person of size. No matter what size you are, this is a book that I think everyone needs to read because it sheds so much light into how society views fat bodies while privileging bodies that are considered desirable.

10/10! I thought this book would include a conversation on body positivity, and after further reading I understand why this wasn’t included. The body positivity movement as of recent doesn’t actually put voices of those who are of size in the forefront of the conversation. It’s been hijacked by people such as mainstream celebrities who proceed to assume that body positivity is for them and not for fat people / people who are considered obese who started the movement. I’d love to look into this topic more and do some further reading as I find it very interesting, and everyone should learn more about it as there have been some misinformation of what the body positivity movement is.

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A Review of ‘My Sister, The Serial Killer’ by Oyinkan Braithwaite

My Sister, The Serial Killer is a novel written by Nigerian writer Oyinkan Braithwaite. This story is a thriller, murder mystery, set in contemporary Nigerian society, centred around Korede and her sister Ayoola. Korede is a nurse and older sister of Ayoola, who is guilty of killing her past lovers and calls Korede to help her. Because of her loyalty towards her sister, she comes to her aid and helps her cover multiple murders. Ayoola insists that she acted in self-defense, but Korede doesn’t seem very convinced by her claim. Korede confides in a coma patient at the hospital, she also develops feelings for Tade, a doctor working at the hospital and things take a turn when Ayoola starts dating Tade. Could the young handsome doctor be Ayoola’s next victim? Should Korede protect the man she loves even if it means she has to betray her sister? These are questions that Braithwaite makes readers ask as she implores us to keep turning the page to find out answers, should there be any, towards the end of the novel. The reoccurring themes in this book are family, betrayal, sisterhood, romantic love, loyalty, morality, and ethics. The chapters are short, but concisely detailed, I truly admire this style of writing because I personally think it works wonderfully with the genre. As it is a murder mystery, there’s more questions than answers, some might be fans of this in storytelling, others might not be huge fans of mystery and suspense. I personally am not the biggest fan, but I do admire it greatly. I really like when a book gets straight into the story and doesn’t miss a beat to keep readers on edge, feeding us more and more until we can’t get enough!

10/10! I haven’t read a story book written in the first person in a while, but this definitely suits the genre because it makes readers feel like they’re trapped inside the story thus drawing them into the plot. And that ending... wow!!!!!! I’m speechless 😲

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A Review of ‘Girl, Woman, Other’ by Bernardine Evaristo

Girl, Woman, Other is a novel written by Bernardine Evaristo set in Great Britain, and the story is told from several generations of women whose lives are interconnected. The chapters are each based on a character with the exception of the last two chapters which includes the epilogue. Personally, what I’m drawn to in stories are character development, unique writing craft, and a storyline that draws the reader into the characters’ world, and this novel has all those things and more! Evaristo layers details into each of the characters’ lives which makes them feel so human in my mind, and I think this is why the writing style just works for the story. This book has an unconventional writing style; there’s no paragraphs, each line stands on its own, there’s no full-stop except at the end of the chapter, so the story is written like a long poem (which I’m so in love with!). This book might be my first queer novel that I’ve read, definitely adding more LGBTQIA+ books on my reading list and I can’t wait to read them all! This novel is so beautifully written I’m in so much awe! 

100000000000/10! I can’t recommend this book enough to anyone who wants to read a groundbreaking story filled with so many fearless, unapologetic, multifaceted women. I think my favourite characters are Yazz and Hattie, I love their chapters and the era that they represent, Yazz as the quintessential millenial/gen-Z woman and Hattie as the 93-year-old matriarch. A beautiful take on life as a Black, queer, woman and other in Britain! And to all my SEAsians, happy mango season to us!