#this kinda reflects my problem with the whole show
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perhaps-relax · 2 months ago
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maaan idk i really like both of their takes on the character, but i kinda wish they weren't so different.
Like...Joseph Mawle's Adar is so sad and meek and gentle, the embodiment of grief and violation that hurts to look at. He can't be anything other than a mistake, so all he can hope to do is protect himself and his kind from the violence their very existence seems to permit. Yet he doesn't begrudge the rest of the world from rejecting the orcs or trying to wipe them out. He knows there this is the inevitable conflict he will have to live with, forever. So he hides his ugliness from the world that would punish it, even if he's made peace with the half-existence it brings.
But Sam Hazeldine's Adar is not even slightly apologetic. This Adar wants the world to look at him and know him and fear him. Why should they have to hide, what is so special about the Valar's creations anyway if they can be so easily corrupted? Even if his motivation is still only to provide a home for orc kind, there is unshakable charisma and confidence in the pivot towards revenge. Maybe its just the direction of his character arc as of the last episode, but that righteous fury seems in opposition to the seclusion he's promised his children.
There's a tainted elf who wants to find a hole to die in, and there's an orc who wants to kill the world for its hypocrisy. The transition would have been really interesting if it was actually intentional.
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astrae4 · 2 months ago
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A LADY’S GUIDE TO SECURING A MAN WITH BROAD SHOULDERS | park sungho
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pairings — park sungho x reader (non idol au)
genre — (wc: 1.5k) fluff, romance 😼, strangers to lovers, fast-burn
warnings — ur kinda stalking him.. a bit…
note — HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SUNGHO!!! Guys i lowk want a man with shoulders as broad as his 🙁 is that too much to ask.. ALSO DANGEROUS WAS SO GOOD!!! The song teases too omg..right in my alley. I cannot wait for the album drop 😋😋
more works: navigation | bnd!masterlist
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YOU SWEAR YOU’VE NEVER BEEN this interested in gyms before. Yeah, sure, you’re sporty. But gym sporty? Yeah no—that’s another level of torture.
Right now though…man you might just change your mind. You do one more bench press, super slow with your focus elsewhere—namely, the mirror on your right that shows a small reflection of the most scrumptious man you have ever seen in your life.
Those shoulders? Good gosh, they’d be perfect for your hands to rest on, agree?
(And the crowd screams yes!!!)
This was how you started being more consistent in the gym. Currently in week three and you’re so proud that you’re broken your world record of gym streaks.
You’ve decided then: you’re going to get him.
There was just one slight problem to this equation… you don’t have any courage to talk to him.
All you know are three facts:
His name was Park Sungho (how’d you know?you overheard a friend of his call him once. You’re not a creep, okay!!)
He had the most gorgeous shoulders known to mankind.
You want him.
Okay so maybe the third one isn’t really a fact—and you swear (cross your heart!) that your infatuation with him isn’t merely because his eyes are as twinkly as the moon, nor because his lips were plump and not crusty like most men, nor is it also because his voice is just…
Anyways! You get what I mean.
That was how you ended up ranting everything to your friend Sanghyeok—which apparently calls himself Riwoo now because he said he felt more cool and mysterious with that name. ( ok get it our nonchalant dread head!! )
“Park Sungho??” Asked Riwoo, startled once you blurted everything, “you mean the one with the pointy nose and sweet voice?”
You paused and raised an eyebrow at him, “duh? Have you been listening this whole time?”
“No not like that—you mean Park Sungho in class 19.99 right? He’s in your calculus class, dummy.”
“Wait—WHAT.”
Riwoo threw you a deadass stare, before fishing a muffin out his pocket and shoving his face in it. Perhaps he knew you too well as you started shaking him for answers.
”Just go approach him—”
”I can’t!”
”Then stop talking to me about it!”
“Please, my-Ri-to-the-woo—”
”UGH FINE! But no promises and you buy me a dozen donuts tomorrow.”
”Deal!”
You didn’t get him that dozen of donuts, but Lee Sanghyeok, being the good friend he is, still ended up conversing with his Sungho hyung in their shared dance class for you.
Luckily for you, he managed to score a hangout—the three of you—for next Wednesday over coffee and desserts.
Finally, with all the gears set in, you could start with ‘diary entry 1: A LADY’S GUIDE TO SECURING A MAN WITH BROAD SHOULDERS’
(yes, it’s meant to be this long)
1. A lady hints, not talks
The first ever step-slash-rule to secure a man is to give hints. Yes, hints. No way are YOU the one to make the first move, you hear me ladies? 😒 If he doesn’t pick up on the clues, then you drop!
Wednesday came. And boy, it came with a lot of nervousness, I tell you! But you were ready. Dropped in the cutest fit you have—a pair of jeans with a puffy dress on top (THIS COMBO>>>)—you were absolutely ready to charm Park Sungho.
It took you a while, but you made it on time (5 minutes late) to the cafe, Riwoo and Sungho conversing already at a table near the windows. Riwoo was the first to see you, sending a wave. You returned it, and right after, Sungho sent you one too—albeit less dramatic. Your smile turned up a bit more before sending a smaller wave back to him.
”Hi guys! Sorry if I’m late.”
”It’s okay, we just came,” replied Riwoo, “this is Sungho, my friend in Dance. Sungho, this is my best friend, [reader]”
Sungho stood up to shake your hand, and you both exchanged ‘nice to meet you’(s).
”Let me get coffee real quick!” You told them, before going to the cashier.
After you ordered, you went back to your seat.
“How are you these days, [reader]?” asked Riwoo
”Good, although I think I overworked my feet yesterday, It hurts slightly,” you replied, which by the way, was a big fat lie.
“Ah, is it doing better now?” asked Sungho, who was deeply concerned.
”It should be, I think,” you replied shortly.
More small talk was made before your order number got called. You went up to get it but before you could fully stand—
“I’ll get it for you, [reader],” answered Sungho.
“Huh?” both you and Riwoo replied in shock.
“You should rest your feet since they might still be in pain if you overexert it,” he replied simply.
“Oh there’s really no need, Sungho—“ you denied at first despite the fact that you were internally giggling.
“Please, I insist,” He replied with a smile that almost melted you on the spot, before taking your receipt and heading to the cashier.
It was silent for a moment before your eyes met Riwoo’s, and his met yours. Both of you kicked each other’s feet before suppressing a big fat grin.
2. a lady takes no risks
consult God (or a fortune teller if you’re not religious) to make sure this man is for you. Use the mind, not the heart.
“Okay,” You muttered to yourself like a nutjob, “IF. And only IF he is the one…um..” you paused your prayer for a second because you had no idea what to say.
You decided to just settle for the classic, “Please send me a sign, amen.”
And with that, you fixed your hair and applied pink lip gloss before leaving the house.
Step after steps, you kept thinking of him until you reached the actual library. You took a deep breath before going in. You were early this time, but it seems that Park Sungho has a matter of showing up super early, because he’s already there—sitting in a seat near the windows.
He had his back facing you, so you snuck up on him quietly before placing your hand on his shoulder.
“Sungho,” you muttered quietly, and he jolted, spinning around to look at you fast.
Were you delusional, or is he staring at you?
“Sungho..?” you repeated.
That seemed to jolt him out of his state, “Oh, [reader]—yes, sorry for that. I was out of it—“
You giggled before taking a seat beside him, “It’s fine, don’t worry.”
There wasn’t much small talk after that, as you both seemed focused and determined to do well on your project. Mid-way, however, a crash followed by a yelp took you out of your very focused state. You turned to see Sungho—only, a book fell on top of his head.
“Sorry!” said a boy above you looking down on the rails. You both seemed to recognize him as Myung Jaehyun, who’s also in your shared calc class together.
“Why that—“ said Sungho, before he gives you a quick brb and went upstairs; probably to murder Jaehyun.
You picked up the book on the ground, and then stilled when you read the title.
‘The Sign’ by Robert Van Kampen.
Oh.
I mean, you’re not opposing now, are you?
3. A lady enjoys the reaps that she sowed
Get rizzed up all night by a nice guy (stream nice guy!!!)
“I love your shoulders,” you muttered at him, a hand on his bicep.
2 months had passed since you first dated each other.
”Oh yeah?” He replied, but his words seemed unfocused and disconnected—I mean, who can blame him when you’re sitting on him, looking so cute after you both just made out.
“Mhm,” you answered once more.
”Tell me more,” He asked.
You did, but midway you realized he was just looking over your lips—not paying attention. You rolled your eyes.
“Are you even list—“
He cut you off with another kiss. It lasted a while before he pulled away once more.
”Can’t believe I’m yours,” He whispered, smiling goofily.
You giggled. Yeah, Park Sungho’s yours. The man with broad shoulders is yours.
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TAGLIST: @ja4hyvn @flwoie @sulkygyu @xiaoderrrr @ineedaherosavemeenow @lonewolfjinji @teddywonss @taerae-verse
NETWORKS: @k-labels @onedoornet
© astrae4 2024 — please don't copy, translate, or plagiarize my works on all platforms!
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tomomiisasleep · 3 months ago
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notes on Harryanthe which I am crazy about, in HtN
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this dumb little interaction just stuck with me. I mean they're almost always high-strung in the detailed plot, like in almost every one of the Ianthe-centered scenes one of them is in some kind of pain
but I know they have chill moments. mundane moments. petty arguments, like the one in the post scrips of the letter. And I so badly want to read those!!
anyways. I'm gonna start collecting scraps here.
you might have given Ianthe Tridentarius the pleasure of opening the note labelled Upon the death of Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Your only hope for that note was that it contained a single sentence along the lines of, Get what joy you can from my corpse, you devious bitch, but it was written by a previous self and you could not risk a guess.
Harrow: what if I didnt hate her and that makes me wanna have a lobotomy yeah that makes sense
Once, vilely, from Ianthe; she had ensconced you in fat and rolled you down the hallway out of danger, and still laughed whenever she thought about it.
ok this is just Ianthe being a little pest, but it also means that she talks about this and laughs in Harrow's face, which makes her a little bitch, but also like it means they often chat and Ianthe would be like: Yeah today I tried the theorem on apples again, but I tweaked it by directing the flow of thalergy from- hey Harry do u remember the time I saved your life hahahahahaha
The mockery you endured for needing her proximity was exquisitely painful, but humiliation was steadily becoming your existence whole and entire.
I want to know what exactly this mockery entails
It had been very nicely matched to the original until she had ceased using it altogether, and the difference was more pronounced each day. Unconscious of your critical eye, she scratched fretfully at the line until red hives appeared.
Ianthe squirming under Harrow's gaze for once
She was in a filthy mood, if she was wearing that thing, with her arm exposed.
Harrow has been keeping tabs on the state of her arm problem ever since she first woke up on the Erobos. Same as how Ianthe has been keeping tabs on the results of her lobotomy.
she said, blue eyed, those oily little freckles glittering almost pinkly above the dress. They reflected the red rims of her eyelids. You thought that she had been crying.
yeah stare at her eyelids Harrow, and sniff her discreetly all the time, sweat musk vetiver am I right (also have I expressed how crazy it drives me that she wears masculine perfume??????????? no well IT'S SO *faints*
You got better autopsies of her encounters with Beasts than you did from your own, as Augustine was wont to explain significantly more to her than either he or Mercy did to you.
Ugh why why why in this whole book I have not seen them talk shop with each other even once??? Except Harrow showing off after making the arm. Harrow has discussions with Pal all the time in GtN. clearly she trades notes on necromancy with Ianthe frequently. but no, gloss over Ianthe's intellect and just write her freak(fond) moments
You had once been fool enough to recommend that Ianthe take them down, at which point she had rustled up another from the bathroom and hung it in pride of place above an overpainted dresser.
love her
“Oh, heaps,” said Ianthe, who appeared not to have taken offence at your rejection. It was so impossible to tell, with Ianthe. “I made it. It’s vile.”
Maybe she really doesn't care about the rejection or even likes it, but "so impossible to tell" kinda hints that, well she might be hurt,maybe, there just isn't any proof
It was not a connection formed of any mutual admiration; if anything, the more you saw of Ianthe the less likely you were to mistake her for likeable. She made herself like an overdecorated cake: covered so thickly in icing and fondants and gums that it would take serious excavation to find any bread. As a necromancer she was a genius, though you thought she relied too much on shortcuts and circumventions. She had an exceptionally fine mind. She was not afraid of rigour.
If Harrow doesn't have the hots for her at least I do.
Honestly on my first read I took stuff like "not likeable" and "“Tell me to stop breathing,” she said. (“I have, on multiple occasions,” you said.)" at face value and actually thought Harrow genuinely hates her and is forced to interact with her because there's no one else. Which is true. But she's also very attracted to her and I kinda overlooked it at because I thought those feelings were mutually exclusive. And they're not. which I'm obsessed with.
Or she won't think Ianthe's beautiful and note details about how she dresses all the time.
Seriously Harrow's special fixation on "how Ianthe's clothes make her look" is hard to ignore.
for example:
The mother-of-pearl made Ianthe’s hair a lurid yellow and threw up all the mustard tints of her skin; her face was blotchy, and her eyes were sleepless pits. She looked like shit.
The skirts and waists were all beautifully cut for someone of a different height and body type than Ianthe possessed. They were tight where they should have been loose and loose where they should have been tight. They looked like her burial clothes, and she looked as though she had emerged fifty years after that burial.
she answered after a long, scuffling minute, with sleep in her eyes and her hair in dilute whey tangles over her neck and shoulders, wearing a bewildering short garment of violet chiffon.
The back was open, and you could see the fine dents of her spine—her bleached skin bluer and sweeter against the pallid gossamer—and the twin blades of her shoulder blades looked strangely nude and vulnerable to you.
Ianthe was training in her nightgown—a grisly floor-length concoction of pale golden lace that made her long, limber body look like a green-veined mummy
a lone wax figure in pale purple chiffon, tall and colourless—except in the greasy metal of her bone arm, which the lights rendered all the colours of the rainbow.
Ianthe rose soundlessly to her feet, and the long skirts of her nightgown—a brilliant ruffled canary-yellow silk that made her look like a formal lemon—rustled restively around her calves.
Note that Harrow focuses on Ianthe's clothes for how they shape Ianthe's appearance. in contrast:
she ignored your sister, whose pallid eyebrows had shot up so fast and so far that they were in danger of breaking the atmosphere. Mercymorn wore a long slip of peach-coloured silk, and her white Canaanite robe was tucked over her forearms and had slipped entirely off her slender, aggrieved shoulders. She had scraped her hair into a merciless and shining coil at the back of her head, and she had no eyes for either of you.
Obviously Mercy is SUPER HOT here, if Ianthe's reaction means anything. But Harrow only describes her clothing and not how she looks. Same with Augustine's party outfit.
With Ianthe, it's always: she's wearing ..., which makes her look gross. And I did not understand at first but now I know and feel stongly that Harrow is totally into her gross-hotness. well at least I am. the grosser she's described the hotter she is.
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savannahsdeath · 1 year ago
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TEACHER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X STUDENT!READER
PART 1ONE
part 2two
mdni please<3
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summary: you stay with your teacher - ellie because youre sure she didnt grade your exam correctly. she turns out to be easy to spend time with, even though youre her student
warnings: 18+ please!!
writers note: calling ellie 'miss williams' kinda cringes me but ig thats how it is.. before yall attack me or smthn reader is not a minor so its all legal also i imagine this is like the last grade of highschool?? i dont know what age it is in usa since im polish and yeah it would be legal for us but maybe not in america so idk😭😭
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Ellie Williams was a teacher in your college, most students' favourite. She wasn't boring or too strict although she was serious about her lessons and she always made sure everyone listens. The point is, everyone wanted to listen.
You loved how passionate she is about her job. You could tell sharing her knowledge with next generations makes her proud. The rest of the students mostly liked her for her looks. She was attractive, even for you, especially when she was looking at you from under her glasses. Oh, god, her glasses... And the way she adjusts them with her slim fingers... Yes, she was definitely attractive. And pretty young, as for a teacher. But the way all of those stupid frat boys made clearly sexual comments about her was making you want to throw up.
You never missed her lessons and you were her best student. You could tell she appreciates the way you look honestly interested in her lessons. That's why you were surprised when you suddenly got a D from an assignment.
You stayed after class to talk with her about it. Something was off. You stayed the whole night to do it, with blood, sweat and tears.
You found her in her office, reading some papers. After saying simple 'good afternoon' you sat in a chair in front of her desk. She dropped the papers that turned out to be your assignment.
"I was just about to talk to you." She sternly said, not looking in your direction. "Why are you helping him?"
You had no idea what she's talking about, so you stayed quiet, letting her talk.
"You've always been so responsible - straight A's, making the presentations in time. Did he pay you? Be honest, I won't report it anywhere. Luke wouldn't do that himself."
You frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. What does Luke has to do with this?"
Luke was your talking stage. You weren't interested in him but he was in you and that's it. Your opinion didn't matter. He was popular and you wanted to have good reputation so you allowed him to do... whatever.
Miss Williams showed you two papers. One was yours, the other... based on the handwriting - Luke's.
"Look at the signatures." She ordered. "How did it happen? No bullshit."
They were swapped. Luke's work, graded for a D, had your name on it.
"That's an interesting word to use for a teacher. Umm... Yeah, I don't..." You started stuttering, not knowing what to say. You often helped him out but not this time.
"Just admit you helped him and I'll give you your A. Easy as that." She finally looked up at you. Her glasses reflected the light in a way that made it hard to look her in the eyes, so you wasn't able to tell what she's thinking. Was she judging you or are you just paranoid?
"I told him to give you my assignment since he was staying in your class longer, I swear, I didn't-" You sighed. "He had to... How could he..." You continued mumbling.
"Sh, shh... I can tell it's your handwriting. I just thought you did it on purpose." She said in a reassuring voice.
"Will he have any problems? It's not a big deal, so if we could just..." You looked at her with your doe eyes, nervously biting your bottom lip. The way she was looking at you made you understand why were the other students all over her. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your mind, embarrased you even thought about her in a... romantic... way.
"Okay, my dear. Here's your well earned A." She showed you a new copy of the assignment with an A grade written at the top. You also notice her fingers slightly grazing your hand as she does so. the same fingers you used to imagine touching you in such an intimate way "Now, if it's not a big secret, why are you even worried about Luke? For him, a better grade is more important than you. But if you really like him, I may group you both together in the next presentation."
"No, I don't, it's not that..." You quickly explained. "It's just... I don't even know. He's just everywhere I go."
You could tell something was off when Miss Williams mentioned Luke. She never did speak poorly about any of your classmates, not even once - it's simply unprofessional. But, this time, she seemed irritated, perhaps even annoyed.
"I'm glad to hear that, he's no good for you. He obviously wants more than an assignment swap." She put all of the papers back into her file. Suddenly, she leaned in towards you. Not too close, but way closer than she was before. "You look nervous."
"I am." You admitted quietly. Your heart starts beating fast. She's never been this close before. You both met after classes before and she was friendly, sure, but never this... interested. She made it to the point you didn't saw her as a professor anymore, just a woman, maybe even potential... girlfriend.
"I can help you with that stress if you'd like." She says, her voice barely above a whisper.
You couldn't resist her. She leans in closer, until your faces are so close together that your breaths become one and if it wasn't for the desk, your bodies would be pressed together. The moment she touches your cheek, you can't resist anymore and kiss her back. She takes your hands and presses them against the back of her head, pulling you closer as she deepen the kiss.
You never felt this way before. This doesn't feel wrong, it's... exciting. She's exciting.
You hear a faint sound from outside. Someone trying to open the door.
Miss Williams quickly straightens up: she straightens her clothes, fixes her hair, and picks up her papers. Then, with a deep breath, she answers the knock.
"Hello... Can I help you?" She opens the door.
It's Luke, standing there with a wide smile on his face.
"Luke? What are you doing here?" Your eyes flicked from Luke to the teacher and back again, not understanding what's happening.
"I just realized I forgot my bag at class today, so I dropped by to pick it up. But I see you have company." He looks at you and gives you a subtle wink.
"Oh, don't worry. I was just giving her assignment back an A. The A she deserves." She says with a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, exactly, Luke. I know you swapped our assignments." Your eyes lingered at him for longer this time, as you saw he knows something so you tried changing the topic to more formal one.
"I... uhh... no, I didn't do that." He replies nervously, his tone and body language giving him away.
Miss Williams looks at you with an expression that conveys "I can't believe this is happening."
You continue; "Look, Miss Williams found our assignments mixed up. Mine... with your D grade on it... and yours, with my A on it."
Luke shifts uncomfortably, realizing he's been found out. "Oh... well... I guess I'll just be on my way then." He says awkwardly.
"Just take your bag and go before I change my mind and not be so nice." Your teacher said, making eye contact with you instead of him.
Luke quickly grabs his bag and scurries away.
Miss Williams sighs and closes the door. "What a little... trouble maker." She says with a smile. She walks towards you and stands in front of you, facing you directly. "I hope he didn't bother you too much." She says softly, her tone carrying a slight flirty vibe.
You smile and shake your head, even though the truth is he did.
"You should go now, I don't want your parents worrying. Visit me here from time to time though, 'kay?" She smirks, stroking your hair.
"Yes, ma'am." You reply, trying to be playful but failing in your nervousness. "I will... umm... see you at class tomorrow."
"I'll be looking forward to it." She replies, a grin on her face as she stares deep into your eyes.
As you leave, you try to remain composed, but you're melting inside.
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candiedspit · 2 months ago
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Smear Frame (1992)
The night I got home from the hospital, we had peas and squash and good chicken. Nobody spoke. The radio spoke for us; vitamin deficiencies, lights spotted across Vegas, another building demolition. The first couple of days, I stayed in my room throwing a ball against the wall, doing long division in my head. The television playing a documentary about squid brains. On the third night, mama asked what I was planning to do.
You can be a thing in the world, she told me.
We were in the kitchen, the evening light staining the windows above the sink.
You do have a choice, she continued. But you choose to suffer like an idiot. Even the rabbit knows better than to follow the wolf.
Learn something, Jane.
And she left the room. I held her words in the belly of my chest, going over them again and again. That night, I got dressed in my trench coat and went out to the middle of town. The lights were buoyant and fresh, amazing slashes, amazing range. The moon was pinned against the skies like a cop’s badge. I stepped into Lousy’s which was a bar I had been to before. I liked it because it was dark and cold. I often pretended I was in a cave or in some sort of comet, minutes away from approaching the quiet tendrils of earth.
I ordered a Shirley temple and sat at the bar watching the bartender spin and shake and serve drinks.
What’s the drink with the longest name? I asked.
A terrible, unearthed bitter and lame dirt tonic, he said.
I mused on this for a while and eventually someone spoke to me. An older woman wearing red and large earrings asked me what time it was. I shrugged.
Maybe sometime around midnight, I said.
Don’t you have a watch? She asked. What kinda man doesn’t have a watch?
The question of my masculinity continues to come under fire, I laughed.
So, what’s your problem? She asked. Why are you here at maybe sometime around midnight?
I got out of the loony bin last weekend, I said. I’m trying to map out the world again.
How long were you in there for?
Six weeks, I said.
Do they zap your brain? She asked. I had a cousin like that, always in and out of those places.
How is he doing? I asked.
On the side of the road, she said. Begging for cash, not hiding the bad time he’s having.
That’s admirable. But no, they didn’t zap my brain.
Did they strangle you with Valium?
I was never sedated, I said.
Who put you there?
My parents, I said, I was seeing the holes in the plot, could see the failing strings in the fabric of the universe, the whole picture. I stoped eating, stopped sleeping. All I did was play chess with spirits and paint my nails over and over again. I showed the woman my hands. See? They’re clean.
The woman was quiet, sipped on her drink. I continued.
It was sorta nice, I admitted, not speaking to anyone but sounding out the idea.
Being taken care of like an infant who can’t speak. You get medication in the morning and you moan about the news. Someone starts screaming. Someone stops screaming. You go into a dreamless, milky sleep. And your roommate mumbles in his sleep, sweet robotic poems. And you don’t have a pencil so you commit them to memory; a fog roars, abstain, chapel, chapel, chapel. And you disappear from the world. Headlines float around every day and you wander around the unit making funny faces to entertain yourself and someone calls you and they ask how you are and you tell them you can’t wait to go home. And then you get home and the world is indifferent.
Cheers, the woman said.
And we clinked our glasses. Around three, the woman stood up and gave me her number and shook my hand and left. I kept the slip of paper in my coat pocket. I went out to walk by the river-end, watching the rising of the waters, the night reflected on the surface, dark rivulets. A sort of vile peace.
A couple of months afterward, I found work at a fish market. Slicing trout in half and packaging swordfish into white papers. The work was mindless, bleeding work. Nobody spoke to me. I smoked cigarettes. When I got home, the house smelled of blood.
A while later on, I called the woman. I was on my way home from work. I had not spoken to another human being in ten hours. I had forgotten what my voice sounded like. I could see myself getting slower by the minute. Words died in my head like vermin. The woman answered within four rings. I explained who I was. The boy in the trench coat. It was nighttime and we spoke for a while. You were drinking a tall martini and every so often would dive into your purse to fix your lipstick.
You sound different, she said.
I feel different, I said. I feel like an aspirin. I feel like a headache that won’t resolve.
Where are you? She asked.
By the river, I said. I like seeing the water enunciate. Where are you?
She told me she was making tea for her husband.
He’s not feeling well, she said. I’m doing what people say to do; ginger and saltines and warm baths. But he’s persistent with his pain.
Some people are, I said.
The clouds are fragrant tonight, I continued.
It’s getting late. I can see my mother checking the time, fidgeting in the kitchen then checking again. It’s something I relish. Getting home late. The worry she must feel. The worst things happen in your brain. Perhaps I fell down a flight of stairs. Perhaps I cut my hand open on a knife and I’m in the hospital bleeding out beneath the fluorescent lights. She has a feeling but doesn’t want to endorse the feeling in case it becomes a truth. And when I arrive at last, the feeling subsides and instead is replaced with a mute disappointment. I am the one she loves but not the one she missed.
I began to call the woman—whose name I never bothered to ask for, I wanted to name her myself—often. When I was on my lunch break barely eating a tuna sandwich. When I was smoking cigarettes. When I was in my room reading the newspaper and playing with myself. When I was half asleep.
Once, I was naked in bed with the radio on, and there was a sullen exasperation in my stomach. I felt as though I knew when I was going to die and if I focused long enough the date would come to me, would emerge from the foggy brain matter and I would be freed. I had been thinking of death for weeks. Death was my babe, my habit. I had visions of my own death. Dying struck by a moving car and being stuck in the tire. An aneurysm so I’m alive one moment and exploding the next. Being stunned by a bullet and feeling my cells gasp in unison.
Death is an orgasm, I told the woman one night. Death is a great, wondrous love. You go into the light. You feel peace for the first time in your pathetic silly little life.
You sound twisted, the woman said. Death is what you avoid, everything you do, you do to put death out. Your bravado is not going to protect you from what will happen or what has happened.
That winter I was sleepless. I slept for thirty minutes at a time, watched the sunrise slur into my windows, made tea for my parents and gutted samurai fish and wrapped tuna and walked around town, dreaming of poisonous gas. Sometimes, I choked on my visions.
One afternoon, I felt a pop in the back of my head and walked out of work during my lunch break. And walked straight home. When my mother saw me, she placed me on the couch and pointed a flashlight in my eyes and placed a cold towel on my forehead. I mumbled for the angels.
I had been in the hospital for two weeks when I called the woman, I had been blotted out and cast into a week of sleep. I was feeling alright.
What kind of dreams have you been having? The woman asked,
I don’t dream, I told her. I stumble in and out of sleep like a newly born calf. I feel like I’m full of milk, a white calmness in my arteries, a saline stillness.
Come see me, I said. Come see my blue scrubs and bandaged fingers and dirty acne and limp, sedated gait.
I will, she said.
It was New Year’s Eve when she came. The nurses had hung up garlands and the television played the ball drop in New York City; that mirage a thousand light years away.
We were given virgin champagne and the nurses counted down with us and the woman was there, her hand on my back.
Focus on living one breath at a time, she said. Count the breaths until you forget you’re even counting.
The year turned over onto her stomach. That night, I laid down and recounted the poem again.
Chapel. Chapel. Chapel.
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tribalauthor · 9 months ago
Text
Needy Chief
(roman and y/n one-shot)
warnings: 18+, oral sex, unprotected sex, harsh sex, masturbation, edging, unconsciousness (kinda)
word count: 4k
Summary: Roman makes Y/N jealous and she decides to punish the Tribal Chief but does she succeed?
A/N: okay, this is my first one-shot and I hope yall like it :), error warning
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gif by me
I am pacing around my room with the tip of my index finger in my mouth, biting it, barely being able to find a place and keep my sanity. Just a woman all prepared for her man- washed, shaved, moisturized and dressed up with his favorite red lacy lingerie since red is his favourite color and a short black kimono on the top because I feel cold from hatred.
But why am I pacing? Not because I'm nervous of my man who happens to be the face of whole sports entertainment, undisputed WWE champion for over 3 years and counting, people know him as the Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, Roman Reigns. Nor the fact that the man in question is the most attractive man to walk on this planet, undisputed.
No. It's not that. I'm way over this. The problem is that he has an appearance on Smackdown tonight hence I made a plan to surprise him afterwards. I was getting all prepared and everything since I want to be perfect for him - to look good, to smell good, to taste good.
And what happens? I turn the show on the TV and there is him getting out of his black Jeep with his wise man. The WWE reporter, Kayla - that little woman with her perfect curls and pretty face anticipating with the mic in her hands. Then you have my man, Roman, getting out of the car after the wise man.
"What's going on tonight, Roman?" - Kayla asks. "Who will have the opportunity to face you next?"
And then he replied:
"You still seem not to get the things around here, babygirl. You don't "have" the opportunity to face me. You "win" this opportunity."
That's when I completely froze up.
He dared to call another woman "babygirl"? In front of me? In front of live television?
"He is so dead when he comes back" I thought and I'm still thinking it. I was thinking of making a great scandal but that's old, you feel me?
Men are not really affected when you scream at them and tell them how upest they made you. They can easily manipulate you and make you feel guilty about "overreacting" and yet again "being too emotional".
So I tossed this thought away and came up with a better plan.
I am gonna make Roman beg for me.
I brushed my hair and decided to put on a body oil on my skin with vanilla scent because Roman goes crazy when he smells vanilla. CRAZY.
I looked at my reflection on the wardrobe mirror which was next to the bed.
I'm gonna make him weak.
I heard the door downstairs unlocking and I quickly laid on the bed seductively, yet casually while changing the TV channel. I don't want him to see that I've been watching Smackdown.
I felt that he is entering in the bedroom but I pretended that I'm not seeing him and being too caught up with the random programme I put on.
"Hey, babe." he said softly with his deep, clear voice.
I turned to him and he had his long hair down. Oh, he knows I go weak over his natural, black, curly hair. He is wearing his usual black "Acknowledge me" tank top and black sweatpants. We'll see who will acknowledge who.
"Hey." I replied, unbothered.
He licked his lips while grinning. I think he is realizing that I'm all ready to be haunted by him but I'm gonna let him know who is the boss tonight or must I say the tribal chief.
"Why are you mad?" he laid next to me and started placing kisses on my cheeks coming down to my neck. His beard tickling my skin. "I tried not to be late. I see you got ready for me". The kisses started to become wet and his low voice got me almost ready.
I felt his big hands on my hips trying to take off my underwear but I stopped him.
"Not so fast" I simply said and he had a confused look on his face, going a bit far from me. "Tonight things will go a little different" I clarified.
"What do you mean different?". He furrowed his eyebrows.
I got up from the bed and slowly took off my kimono.
"Let's play a little game". I suggested and he rolled his eyes.
"Y/N, I am about to rip this pretty ass lingerie with my bare teeth and eat your pussy out like the last meal I'm gonna have in my life. Do you think I'm in the mood for games?" He suddenly got pissed. And I know why. Cause he wants everything to be his way, no questions asked.
"And why do you think you deserve this opportunity...chief?" I cocked my eyebrow. I just pulled a superman punch on him, mentally.
"What do you mean why? You are my girlfriend. The woman of my life...the love of my life." He replied and ran his fingers through his hair. "Babygirl..."
"Ah." I raised my finger. "Don't call me that. I thought Kayla was the babygirl."
Roman then got the look of realisation.
"Come on, Y/N...is this what you are mad about? Please." He reacted as if it's nothing. "I don't really mean it, you know?"
"Aha. And what if I call another man daddy?" I asked and crossed my arms which made my boobs pop out even more.
"I'm gonna beat the living shit out of him then show you who the real daddy is." Roman replied immediately with a not so slight growl in his voice.
"Well now..." I crawled on the bed to him and made him lean back. Then I put myself on his crotch. "I'm gonna show you who the real babygirl is".
I felt his hands on my ass but I removed them.
"No touching game"
"What do you mean no touching?" He slightly got up but I pushed him down again.
"Tribal chief can't take his punishment?" He looked me deep in the eyes and swallowed loudly. "I'm gonna stay up here and I'm gonna have fun with you but you are not allowed to touch me".
I got closer to his face.
"If you lay your hands on me, - I whisprered - I'm gonna go over there on the couch and I'm gonna touch myself, making you watch without being able to touch me and taste me, you understand?"
He gave me no answer, he just let out a growl, the exact beast low growl he does during mid match when he gets angry at his opponent.
I left a small peck on his lips just to tease him even more, then another one and on the third one he attacked my lips or more precisely, my tongue which made me separate from his face.
"Ay, you are so impatient, Roman." I scolded him and licked my lips.
"You make me this way". He said through his teeth and I giggled while taking his tank top off, exposing his beautiful upper body - the muscles and the magnificent tribal tattoo which made him even hotter.
I started leaving slow and wet kisses on his chest all down to his stomach. His breaths were getting heavier and heavier. I can feel how much he wants to touch me but he had his hands squeezing the sheets. I started licking his abs and took a look at his face. He had his lips pressed and eyes close shut.
I couldn't help but smirk and put my ass on his lap again, slowly started grinding.
"Don't". He hissed putting his hands on his head.
"Aw". I pouted and leaned to his face again.
"Daddy can't take it?" I asked and then brushed my lips against his in a deep, passionate kiss but Roman swiftly turned it to a very aggressive one. It almost felt like he would swallow my whole mouth and tongue. That's what I call a kiss of desparation.
Not to mention that I felt a big bulge beneath me. Now I awoke the true beast. I started grinding even more but problem is I am getting wet, too.
"Those sweatpants ain't thick enough for me to not notice you are getting seriously wet." He said through the kisses.
"I think you should worry about your boner, baby, cause that shit must hurt." I whispered against his mouth with a big smirk on my face.
"Also, I can always do this". I ripped my tong off with a bare hand and I slid myself like a snowboard on his abs and left a wet trail.
The look on his face was just priceless. It was mixed with shock, joy and anger. I can't really explain it.
I got beside him, taking off his sweatpants which were about to rip off from his own dick and now he is only left with his red boxers which may also rip off in a while.
He couldn't help but grab me by my hips and put me on him.
"Ah. I think you just broke the rule, Roman. No touching." I tsked and shook my head. "You know what this means."
I got away from him and turned my bare ass around walking to the couch taking off my bra, slowly, leaving myself completely naked.
I sat down on the couch, spreading my legs, just right in front of his eyes.
I licked my fingers slowly and seductively and put them on my clit.
Roman's POV:
If she continues going around like this, I'm gonna fuck her until she literally becomes unconscious and I mean it.
This woman knows how to play with me and I mean it in every single way.
I can handle anything. I'm a big man. You can put me against 2, 3, 4, 5 men and can handle the beating, no problem but I can't handle Y/N and her beautiful naked body standing in front of me and I'm not allowed to do anything.
That's something I can't survive and I don't know until when I am gonna stand like this and not enter in her like a drill in wood.
Her standing over there, looking at me with her hungry yet innocent eyes, playing with her pussy which was obviously crying for me. Her little fingers getting in and out. Her sexy moans getting inside my head.
"I'm just not gonna watch." I laid back looking at the white ceiling.
She started moaning louder and heavier and I felt like I'm gonna explode down there. Her moans always make me go insane, ecstatic even.
"When is this game coming to an end, Y/N?" I yelled.
"Whenever I say, daddy." She said through her heavy breaths and after a while she reached her climax, screaming out my name in the most needy tone ever.
Lord, how much I want to jump from that bed and put my dick inside of her tight pussy.
"Y/N, I need you, please. This is not funny" I said through my heavy breaths and then she got up, coming to me.
"Did you just say please?" She grinned sweetly.
She knows. Y/N knows too well how to make a big and strong man like me weak.
She has this effect.
"Yes. Is this what I had to do?" I asked her as if I'm cracking a code.
"Almost." she replied and she licked her fingers not leaving anything for me.
What does she mean by almost?
She got over me yet again. Okay. I guess game is over then. Y/N started taking my boxers off. It's happening.
Y/N's POV:
"Daddy deserves a reward after all he said but we still have work to do." I said while taking his boxers off, and his big beast exposed in front of me, all ready to be inside my holes.
"No touching me." I repeated in the same strict tone.
- What?- he cried out and I immediately started sucking his dick like a kid who just got its favorite lolipop.
I was going on fastly and as deep as I could and judging by his heavy breaths and whimpers, I knew if I don't slow it down, he can cum just like this. I want to show him how easy he is and how little he needs from me to cum. So I slowed it down, got it out of my mouth and licked my lips.
"Please don't stop like this." He whined.
This view is priceless.
Priceless.
A big, tough man like him all desperate for me to continue.
"I'm never gonna leave my daddy unsatisfied but the moment you touch me, I stop and you deal with this yourself." I warned him.
"Tie me up, at this point." He yelled.
I shook my head.
"Let's really test your limits, Roman." I licked my lips and then went back to business, changing the tactic. I started licking...slowly.
- At this point.- he talked to his heavy breaths.- I'm not gonna talk...to any other woman. Nah. I ain't gonna look at another woman. If you are gonna punish me like this.- his usual deep voice was crying out of desparation. I almost can't even recognise him. He is so given up.
I couldn't help but grin and then take as much as I could in my mouth, although tears were forming in my eyes and I will choke after a while.
He hissed.
Then I started going at my pace at first, more swiftly. I took a look at his face.
He is so sweaty from the head to the upper body, his hair is all messy, such a look of desparation and neediness. I felt my pussy throbbing and soaking from this view alone.
"Please, Y/N.- he cried out.- How much more do you need me to beg you? I need you!" He sounded so helpless.
Okay. Mission is accomplished. I think he learned his lesson.
I did a few more ups and downs and there we go. His dick exploded in my mouth like those hard candies with a liquid filling. In this case, a very, very hard big ass candy with extra, extra filling.
This mixed with his grunts is a whole another experience.
And I swallowed it all like a champ. Like an athlete swallows his protein shake right after workout.
I got up in a sitting position. My hair was all messed up and I felt a lil bit of sperm around my mouth and I immediately licked it. My breathing was heavy as well cause god damn, my man's tool is not small. It takes a lot of work.
Problem is I need him inside of me. Now. I am also a needy bitch.
"I had no idea the chief is so needy." I finally spoke with a taunting tone.
Roman was still coming to his senses. I think he doesn't know where he is. Honestly, he looks beautiful. I got close to his face. I slightly fixed his messy hair which got even curlier and placed a kiss on his sweaty forehead.
His breathing calmed down and he opened his eyes. He doesn't look cute now. No. He looks scary even.
My expression suddenly changed and was about to get off him but he caught me and swiftly changed the positions, slamming me onto the bed and now I'm under him.
"Are you done, princess? Are you done playing with your daddy now?" He asked with a low tone yet scolding one. Also the look on his face was very hungry yet frightening. "You think you tired me? No." He shook his head and caught my cheeks with his one hand. "You think you can play with me like a toy and then leave the things like this?" he asked me and shook his head again.
"Spread your legs." He ordered to me but I sat still. I am still shocked by the sudden change in him.
Okay I thought I got him for a minute but I swear to God, that's a beast and I can't tame him for long.
I swallowed loudly.
"Spread your beautiful legs for me." He repeated but it was in a slightly softer tone. I did it this time and he stared down at my pussy.
Roman smirked and licked his lips as if he is ready to devour a delicious meal.
"Look at it. It's crying out for me" He chuckled. "So ready to be eaten up by me" He growled going down on me and then he licked it in a really slow motion then kissed it.
A desperate moan left my mouth.
He suddenly came close to my face.
"You know, I'm a generous tribal chief, Y/N. If I was a brat like you, I would also think of a silly little game but my will to devour every single part of your body is stronger, so I'm not responsible for what it's coming. You brought this upon yourself."
My heart started beating as if it's gonna jump out of my body and I felt new juices forming in my core.
"Don't give me this scared look now." Roman smiled running his thumb over my chin. "There is nothing to be scared of. Daddy just wants his princess to acknowledge him and to make her feel good. Do I want too much?" He furrowed his eyebrows.
"N-no." I stuttered.
He started kissing me. We exchanged some passionate, tongue kisses then he went down on me again.
I was making fun of him earlier that I can make him cum fast but same thing goes for me, I fear. And he is going slow, still. Enjoying every bit of my womanhood.
"Please, faster". I said through my heavy breaths, feeling the sweat forming on my forehead.
Not only he didn't go faster, he stopped, looked at me with this devilish look he always does before he came up with something mischievous, which typically doesn't end well.
"Now when you order your favorite meal, do you eat it at one go or you take your time to enjoy it?" Is he eating me out or we are having a discourse lecture?
"I eat everything in a blink of an eye and you damn know it." I replied with annoyance.
"Well, I'm the opposite type, so please, after the hell you just put me through, I deserve to enjoy my meal...slowly." He said and went back to his doing.
A helpless moan escaped my lips.
Why is he like this?
The leisure motions of his tongue were driving my body nuts, just like a time bomb. However time bombs in movies usually have seconds left until they explode but not in my case. I will explode when the tribal chief says so, I fear.
He started placing kisses on it then even slightly sucking on my clit.
"Please." I cried out. Literal tears started forming in my eyes from the frustration and desperation, forming in my whole body. "Please, Roman, faster".
He stopped and looked at me again but he didn't move his face far from my womanhood.
"Funny how the tables have suddenly turned." He literally whispered against my pussy which brought shivers all over it and made me flinch even.
Then he started eating me out fastly, so sudden yet so deeply anticipated by me.
I became a moaning mess again, almost in sync with his motions. I was feeling sweat dripping on my forehead and the tension in my whole body was building up, craving to cum.
I don't need much. I really don't need much. Just a few seconds and I'm gonna-
And there it is. The bomb exploded. I fear that this man may go deaf from my vocal performance tonight.
He placed another few kisses on it and of course, licked me all dry. "There we go, baby." He chuckled and while I was coming back to my senses, until I realize, I got positioned on four legs with Roman behind me and in front of the mirror.
He got inside of me as a thief in a house. However, thiefs get inside in a quiet, cautious way. Roman's stroke wasn't any of that.
Although, I was wide and ready for his dick, I still felt a bit of pain mixed with pleasure and fulfillment because we were both waiting for that exact feeling of our bodies colliding.
Our bodies, so needy of one another, that exact drug-like feeling which you can never get enough of.
The room got filled with my moans and his grunts.
"I want you to take a good look at the mirror, princess, and see, how good daddy makes you feel. Take a look at this hot view". He said through his heavy breaths yet he still sounded so dominant.
The view is really out of this world. We look like a hot mess.
"Same goes for you, bae". I smirked and then whimpered from his strokes which were gradually becoming faster and faster. "I want you to see that no other woman will fit you as I do"
"When did I say this?" he asked through his teeth and the strokes became so deep that I almost felt his dick up in my stomach, which of course, led my breath to choke and tears form in my eyes. "Huh, tell me babygirl". Roman insisted while not slowing at all. His expression was so angry but I know he is having the time of his life.
"Never but-" I didn't even get to finish my sentence because my body reached yet another orgasm and I felt that warm feeling of his sperm filling my insides.
We both came in unison. Roman let out some moans of conquerness. He finally got what he wanted.
My moans were frail...shaky. I feel like I got no more voice to let out and will go mute if he continues to fuck me sensless.
He grabbed me and slammed my back on the bed while him being over me.
Eye to eye.
"Sorry, babygirl, so rude of me to interrupt you. What were you saying?" Roman smirked. That damn smirk which never fails to drive me crazy.
"I-" and I was interrupted again by his dick getting inside of me but this time it was in a slower motion.
"I deeply apologize once again" He emphasized on "deeply" as he went deeper. "You were saying"
"Huh?" I had no idea what he is talking at this point. Roman let out one of his deep chuckles. "I asked you when did I say that another woman can fit me"- he repeated his question.
"You did not say it with words but-" He started going faster but not too fast. However it was enough for me to cut my breaths.
"Use your words, Y/N" He is enjoying this way too much. "You were very talkative while you were explaining the rules of your game. What happened now, huh?" He was talking with this victorious tone...he knows he took the control once again.
"You said it with action" My voice was all raspy and I tried to sound clear but the situation wasn't allowing me at all, so I sounded more like a powerless human being.
"I see" he went fast once again. I digged my nails into his sweaty, half tatooed back. It will probably leave red marks but he just loves this shit.
Then he attacked my lips in a deep, passionate kiss but there was a nuance of anger. Our tongues were in a battle, exchanging moans and grunts.
I felt that I'm gonna pass out really, really soon due to the fact that I was seeing stars with my eyes closed.
"Look at me, Y/N" Roman stopped kissing me and I tried to open my eyes. That damn man still looks fresh as hell like he can go for few hours yet I probably look like I'm gonna leave this world sooner than you think. "You think I'd do that for another woman, huh?"
"No." I officially lost my voice because I barely said this.
The moment we reached our climax, I was letting out mute moans. Yes, MUTE MOANS. There was literally no voice and no power left in me. I feel all numb and powerless.
"Good". Roman spoke through his heavy breaths. After he fully nutted in me for the second time, he got out of me.
Then I felt him laying a kiss on my sweaty forehead.
"I love you and you only, Y/N. I said with words and actions"
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akirathedramaqueen · 3 months ago
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You know what I love about this show so much?
The kindness. The understanding. The redemption.
And that's in the setting of fucking Hell. The irony.
The characters are deeply flawed. They make a lot of mistakes. They fuck up even trying to fix things.
But they are trying. They have a lot of virtues, too, even though they don't see them themselves. They slowly but surely process their problems. They work around their trauma and the conditions they were raised in, deeply affected by it, hurting but still powering through, learning, and developing.
Although we are far from the end of these characters' journey, the SpindleHorse team does an amazing job of making these characters sympathetic, believable, and real. They give you the information and the opportunity to understand how complicated things are, how both sides of the conflict can be understood and blamed at the same time.
And the main thing? The forgiveness and redemption. You want these characters to do better, to be better, of course. But you also want them to be loved, despite the fact that what they did was obviously wrong.
You, as the viewer, already forgive them, and you just want them to forgive themselves. To allow themselves to be loved.
When I watched the show and saw them making the same mistakes I did, some horrible things I wouldn’t forgive myself for and struggled with for years, I suddenly understood the struggle. I empathized with them. I wanted to give them a hug. I wanted to comfort them and promise that things would get better and encourage them to give it one more try, one more talk. I wanted to scold them for self-loathing because I know all too well the kinds of dark places it can lead you to sometimes.
And then the thought comes to mind, "Can I afford a bit of this empathy for myself too? Just allow myself to live with the fuckup and allow myself to be human?"
It didn't fix me. But it eased my turmoil and taught me to understand it better. It taught me some empathy, too, and I thought I was the one with the emotional ingelligence of a nightstand. Well, I still kinda am, but at least I learned to listen to people sometimes.
I just want to thank the whole team who worked on Helluva Boss for all the self-reflections I experienced with their creation.
Thank you.
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starii-void · 4 months ago
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there were other ways calypso and leo’s relationship couldve been written, in this essay i will
this isnt a hot take at all but caleo just has. so many problems. im not gonna list em but anyone who’s read hoo and toa knows
so how could it have been written better? here are my (a non writer who has shit articulation) opinions, please be nice
1. They date, then break up
this feels like a likely thing to happen bcs as we know, leo is notoriously flirty and seeking relationships and calypso falls in love REAL easily. so ofc, being stuck on an island together with no other company for like weeks on end would lead to a relationship of some kind. though i think that relationship would most likely be. unhealthy.
so yeah, theyd get together, but itd probably start showing problems very quickly as we see in TOA. but from there, i think they shouldve broken up. maybe it could be caused by an outside intervention from someone who. maybe has better experience with healthy relationships. jiper being an example, since they broke up after piper realized their relationship was basically started with lies.
once they broke up, leo could learn that romance isnt a cure all (cough rick cough) and that he doesnt need a partner to ‘fit in’. the whole seventh wheel thing was a big part of his characterization so i think unlearning that whole mess would be a good thing for him, esp since TOA had a lot of ‘growing and developing and changing’ as a theme. he could learn to define and support himself outside of his relationship with women (mommy issuesss)
calypso could also learn to support herself and have relationships with people that arent unrequited crushes, what with how her only human interaction was with random men who couldnt stay.
2. They stay as friends
Basically same character benefits as the last one, just different methods.
Leo realizes he doesnt like calypso in that way on the island during that time itself, maybe due to self reflection or something. maybe they have an intervention/impromptu therapy session or something and figure themselves out. not like they have much else to do on the island
this way, we get to see him figure out (is that the right word?) that being friends w/ women isnt automatically a gateway to romance. that its not so simple. that he can have close friends without having to date anyone (+ possible aro rep here but thats just me projecting) then from there, he can develop this further and come to terms that he doesnt need a romantic relationship to be loved etc etc
3. They stay together, but it’s established as. not good
now for this one i think its less likely since this entire thing is still sorta a kids book series and authors dont usually include these types of topics without it being resolved, but it is something to think about
caleo’s relationship in TOA felt pretty icky at least to me, so i imagine it isnt setting the best example for kids if its portrayed as normal/a good thing
in this method, their relationship could stay but just be more established as not normal and unhealthy bcs. it kinda is
anyways thats my ted talk. please dont kill me im bad at articulating
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fruit-sy · 6 months ago
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My personal thoughts on the major themes of Penacony 2.2
I was gonna make an entire Penacony retrospective and try to really dig into the whole story, but 1. I'm not that smart and 2. It has hours of footage and I don't think I'm strong enough to parse through that and form my own conclusions
so, just the things that really jumped at me and made me pause to think. I may do surface level research to make sure if a character really said this or that, but other than that, these are my thoughts fresh after finishing the quest.
Ok, to start off: Sunday and the road to hell
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He's... god, he's such a complicated and interesting little man.
He is what I would call the embodiment of the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". On the surface, he is trying to make a universe which is authoritarian-like. If you peel it back a bit more, he intends to make the universe a better place. But at the heart of it, I think he's just someone who is scared of pain.
There are 3 sequences I want to break down:
The Robin-Sunday exchanges before they meet Gopher Wood
This exchange has a lot of Sunday misdirecting Robin's points, but she calls out most of it.
Robin starts off with observing the dreamscape and concludes that dreamchasers shouldn't use penacony as a means of escaping entirely from reality. Because they won't overcome their demons. She asks if this can really count as "living"
Sunday at first seems to agree that things are not the way it should be. But there's a bit of misdirection on his part. He responded to robin's question by connecting "people using penacony as an escape" with (his opinion on) the way people currently "live" (which is what he was agreeing to in "things are not the way it should be"). He will then frame the narrative to show that people completely escaping through dreams is a good thing, and then will swerve to say how the "strong" should determine the future of the "weak".
Robin understandably does not agree with Sunday's narrative, because she believes that by staying in the dream (or MAKING dreamchasers stay in the dream), it will lock dreamchasers in stasis forever, making them unable to choose how to go about their future and overcome their difficulties. She then criticizes that no one has the right to determine whether a human deserves to live for a future or not.
There's a clear difference in ideology here. Sunday's devotion to Order is so strong because the experiences in his life had led him to believe that forcing his will on other people is the way to go. His ideology is rigid, cold, impersonal and is applied to all uniformly.
Robin firmly believes in choice and refuses to let an authority govern the way people should live. She wishes to unite people through her singing, and to inspire people to live. Her ideology is more personal, uniquely applied, and is idealistic and romantic.
2. The quiz sequence
An interesting thing about this sequence is the first two questions have quite reasonable answers. At the start of it, at least.
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The first question is about nurturing and letting go. I think why most of the girls agreed to put the bird in a cage is because to do something great, you must first be equipped to survive. Maslow's bottom hierarchy, if you will. i think Sunday realizes this too, and puts it into some of his points to justify making decisions on behalf of other people.
"We must teach the weak how to live a happy life"
Though, the problem is that he twists this point so much and wants to force this on everyone. This is seen when he puts everyone on Penacony in Ena's dream. This disregard for other people's input kinda reflects how he sees the bird, in a way. The bird is something below Sunday, it cannot object his actions because it is merely just a weak, injured little thing.
It is here that he experienced pain of futility. The pain of putting in effort into something but have it crash and burn in the end no matter what. Afraid of that pain, he wonders if birds are meant for the sky if some fall before they can reach it. He has a very black and white mindset about this.
Either all birds fly and deserve the sky, or if even one bird falls then no birds deserve the sky.
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The second question is about a person who is being pursued by the bloodhounds. Sunday is in a position of power, and has the influence to pardon the man. As a result, the man got away, forgot about his children, and hurt the people working under him in penacony.
Though, it's worth to mention that I think it's also partly the fault of the Oak family, who didn't try to discourage dreamchasers trying to find answers or solve their personal problems in Penacony. But I believe that's intentional.
Anyways, the crux of the question, if Sunday had known the outcome of his decision from the start and he had the foresight to think that Penacony isn't a place to search for answers, I actually think upholding the law would be the best course of action here.
I think this is where he developped his fear of... consequence. Because humanity has free will, they may use his pardon from the law to do awful things. This might be why he values upholding the law so much.
Another thing to note, I think Sunday hasn't gone off too far into the deep end at this point of his life. In a previous sequence with the same scenario, he actually questions what devotion to the Order would be like, and his doubts on its way of life.
"Who can judge the strong when their power hides their crimes?"
"Who can vouch for the weak when they will pay any price to survive?"
"Who can comfort the purest souls when even they get led astray?"
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It's important to note that Sunday is in a position of power and emphasizes knowing the outcome of the first two questions.
The third question is the only question where he and the other party were of near equal standing. It's where he still hasn't made a decision, and which the outcome has not yet been decided.
Sunday cares about Robin's input and feelings. He cares so much he doesn't have it in him to force her to stay for the Order.
I think this is the crack in his belief of the Order. Because he cannot stop her from trying to fly. Because he cannot apply his law indiscriminately. Because it's Robin. His sister.
He has not made a choice, and Robin has not met her end yet like he's feared.
But he's so afraid of the pain of losing her. He's so afraid it haunts him in his nightmares.
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After presenting the quiz, he essentially asks the main question of penacony: "Why does life slumber?"
He answers, "Because we are afraid to awaken from our dreams."
Interestingly, this is identical to Firefly's conclusion in 2.0. The difference is, Sunday thinks his answer is universal and will force his solution on everyone, while Firefly's is just her own personal answer.
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Firefly asks what the price for Sunday's paradise is, and that made me stand up and point at the screen in agreement. Because what Sunday's aiming for is an authoritarian universe.
When an authority reigns supreme that it forces its will onto unwilling citizens, all in the name of the ideal society. That's a dystopia.
As Sunday said before, who will keep the authority in check? Who can ensure that the authority will not abuse their power?
That's what's so dangerous about an authoritarian government. You can't take the risk when it comes to this. You can't just give the power to one person, no matter how righteous or nice they seem. Because like the saying goes, give them an inch and they will take a mile. You cannot afford to cross the line, because when you do, who knows how far they'll take it.
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Sunday clearly sees Firefly as someone weak, kind of akin to the bird in his childhood who needs his "saving". But Firefly does not appreciate someone deciding on her behalf whether she's weak or needs saving.
3. Ode to Order
I think it's important to note Sunday really frames Ode to Order in this angelic and holy way. Hell, the music even reflects this with a more bright and heavenly choir.
"Requiem aeternam" is a prayer for souls to reach heaven, eternal rest.
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(A bit of a tangent, but when I saw this in the game I SHIVERED so hard. This is such creative story telling aughh- Like, using previously established game mechanics and twisting them to become something horrifying is SO COOL. What a delightfully terrifying way to illustrate what Sunday aims to achieve.)
This illustrates Sunday's paradise as a place where everyone is forcefully "tuned" to become a certain way forever. To be manipulated with Ena's strings without their consent like puppets into a picture perfect scene.
Though, I was confused why Sunday framed this ideal society as people abandoning the need for an authority, when it was something he was pushing so hard in previous sequences.
But my interpretation is that he will spread this message, of everyone being of equal standing, but leave himself as the true leader that will stay awake to ensure everyone else is blissfully asleep.
This really ties everything together for me. Sunday is someone so self righteous but self sacrificial that he's willing to put himself high in the sky, and be aware that he will be completely alone up there.
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He is afraid of pain, and will do everything to avoid experiencing it ever again.
After experiencing pain, we shouldn't be scared of it. Sure, we can escape a bit to get some reprieve, but we must tend to our wounds so that we may not only survive, but live.
That brings me to the second major theme of Penacony : Nihility, and the feeling of futility
I will be breaking down Acheron's character first.
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Self annihilators/Nihility emanators are so interesting, they are beings that slowly are losing themselves thanks to their own powers of Nihility. A predetermined end.
Living for so long + Nihility actively chipping away at her being is sure to make her memories blend in together. This is why Acheron values emotions so much, because it is one of the only anchors she can use to avoid succumbing to Nihility.
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Her flashbacks with Tiernan are beautifully melancholic. Their exchange starts with Acheron pondering if the task Tiernan is doing is pointless, and if he should even bother? And if the end is expected, then should they change it? It's a bit muddy, but I interpret that here, Acheron is still searching for the meaning of Nihility, and Tiernan is the person who guides the souls to the other side of the river at that time.
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In the next scene, Acheron states she's holding on to whatever she can to avoid succumbing to Nihility. She had journeyed with a Nameless girl once, who wanted to explore IX. But as expected, the girl ceased to be, but left with a smile. Acheron is scared of forgetting her memories with that girl.
The only other anchor she knows is of her promise to bring more warmth to other people, to a more hopeful future where she will cut off Nihility. She associates that promise and hope with the color of red.
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The next scene mirrors the first scene. I interpret it as Acheron having found the meaning of Nihility, sorta embracing it, and is now guiding others to advance towards and depart the Nihility, with Tiernan having forgotten himself.
When Tiernan asks if what Acheron does is pointless, she gave the same answer Tiernan gave her, because some things have to be done. And she's come this far without needing a point, so why should she search for one?
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"May death be the end of your boundless dream... guiding you back to the waking world."
I still cannot decipher the meaning of this statement completely. As far as I know, it's said 2 times. The first is after Firefly "died", and the second is in the above exchange with Tiernan.
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In Firefly's case, perhaps the "death" refers to waking up from Ena's dream at the beginning, "boundless dream" is Ena's dream, and "the waking world" is Dreamflux Reef/reality.
In Tiernan's case, I can assume the "boundless dream" is his eternal unrest, as he's still lingering in the dead sea, not yet ready to enter the abyss of Nihility. The "death" may be referring to him entering the abyss, while the "waking world" is existence, as he finds his way out of Nihility.
To bring this all together, I think Acheron in this case represents and goes against Nihility. She presents Nihility as something inevitable and predetermined (death), something that awaits everyone, and something that everyone will have to embrace at some point of their lifespan (boundless dream).
But she also believes that one shouldn't wholeheartedly embrace Nihility. in the face of Nihility, we must do everything to take in the world around us and remember what makes us exist. She believes there is a way out of Nihility, and that is existence. (waking world)
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In the face of futility, if everything really did have a predetermined end, I believe we should still try to make choices. Despite it being "pointless", I think that's what gives meaning to our existence. Otherwise, we risk succumbing to Nihility.
That's why when the trailblazer finally uttered their own choices, I felt shivers. One, because this shows the development of TB's character, and two because TB will do what they have to, they will never be content living in a dream, and they choose to continue in the face of "futility", despite the ending of their journey being predetermined.
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In the face of futility, Sunday chooses to eliminate pain and choice out of the equation, only choosing to create a universe that's stuck in a mindless, blissful stasis. Because he is anticipating pain.
But sometimes, the anticipation is worse than the actual pain itself. He is also eliminating the element of choice, with the assumption that people will not be able to survive when they are facing futility.
But, Acheron's words really struck me.
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In the face of futility, pain, and pressure humans may freeze in fear. But that innate survival instinct in humans might push them to fight and claw themselves out to save themselves. By removing the choice to fight for their lives, they won't have the choice to fight off Nihility.
To end this, I would like to go back to main question of Penacony
"Why does life slumber?"
And I think TB answers this beautifully.
"Because we will wake from our dreams."
Life slumbers to find reprieve from the harsh reality. But slumbering does not give us the solution to our problems, only recharging us to prepare for the waking world once more. And in the waking world, even if what we do is futile, we still have a choice in how we want to reach for the end.
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ceruleanwhore · 3 months ago
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Let's talk about the 'Journal 3 Missing Pages' from the Book of Bill
WARNING: Spoilers below!
So the Book of Bill includes that section of ‘Journal 3 The Missing Pages’ and these pages have been really bothering me ever since I got and read the book. This morning, I finally had time to open up my copy of the third journal and compare the books side-by-side and now these pages actually bug me more than they already did. For one thing, there is no way that the first three of these pages could have been in the third journal, even though the section is clearly labeled as being pages from that journal rather than just missing journal pages in general. For another, when considering Ford as a character and his motives and everything, there is no reason for some of these pages to be missing at all, particularly the stuff around mystery footprints and then the Krampus. Then, there’s also the problem of how this book is supposed to have been made by Bill and he’s not just an unreliable narrator, he’s lying out his ass the whole time and it not only isn’t out of the question that he could’ve fabricated these pages, it actually would make quite a bit of sense if he did.
Starting with the latter point, we clearly see in Journal 3 that while Ford and Fiddleford had a complicated relationship that didn’t end well, Ford never really went through the journal and tried to erase his presence like he did with Bill, and yet that is really the only reason why he would’ve removed that winter section. We have the carnival pages, so there’s actually no reason not to have the winter pages, even if he crossed out certain parts as he’s done with other sections and drawings on other pages. Crossing out the snowmen drawing and the parts about the gloves would make sense, but Ford removing the pages entirely kinda just doesn’t.
Now, it also makes just as little sense for him to have removed the latter half of the pages in this section that talk more about how he realized Bill betrayed him and his experience going up against Bill after the first portal incident. He’s recognized that Bill is tremendously dangerous and sees the value in plastering warnings about him all over the journal, and yet he turns around and destroys all the super valuable, important records of just what Bill was capable of and how bad it was? I get that, irl, this is probably just because the show relied on a bunch of stuff not being written in the journal so then this book is the place where they can put all of it since we’re curious about what we haven’t seen but, in universe, this makes no fucking sense.
Another thing that stands out to me as not making much sense is why he would’ve written two whole pages about Stan in which he records his conversation with Bill about it. His journals aren’t normal journals like normal people keep, they’re his way of recording data about his findings in his time as a field biologist in Gravity Falls. The least relevant of his pages in Journal 3 are the carnival pages but even those serve a purpose in the scope of his research by showing and talking about the fake supernatural stuff in the carnival which then can be directly contrasted with the real things he’s studied. Some of the stuff we got in these new pages would make a lot more sense if he actually had a separate, other journal that he kept like a normal diary and these pages were from that. Hell, if this is what they wanted to do then I think it would’ve made more sense to make that book and do it separately from the Book of Bill.
As for the idea that these pages were actually made by Bill, there’s a few things that stand out to me and make me feel like this is actually just fanfic Bill wrote that reflects his own perspective and even his own fantasies rather than a true or even heavily biased account from Ford himself. One of the main things is how Bill, throughout the book, is very much a bitter ex when it comes to Ford and when I read the parts about Fiddleford that are so heavily fiddauthor coded, it kind of feels like some Mr. Brightside type shit. When Fidds is making Christmas presents for Ford but forgetting to get anything for his wife or coming back early to play hero and save everyone from Krampus, I feel like both of those things, but especially the Krampus part, are out of character for him and it’s the sort of thing that Bill would make up and get mad about or whatever. Hell, no one talks about how valuable Fiddleford was for building that portal and Bill could’ve just manipulated him and gotten him on his side too but he never even tried and instead opted to spend his time and effort on getting Ford to reject Fiddleford.
The other thing that stands out a lot to me is the ‘Bill-Proof Suit’. Ford knows how the mindscape works and that something as stupid as a decoy brain with no neural function is never going to actually detour or stop Bill in the mindscape. Even if he was in the throes of sleep psychosis, this really isn’t the sort of thing I think Ford would ever come up with because it’s deeply impractical. Also, within two episodes of his return in s2, he had that whole computer bank in his basement that he tried to use to Bill-proof Dipper’s mind, so it seems more realistic to me that he was working on that during this period of time or, at the very least, it indicates the sort of thing he would think of as a solution which, notably, has nothing in common with the suit. However, if he started working on a real solution like that computer setup and Bill was annoyed about it, it would be super in character for Bill to make a fake journal page about Ford bringing back the Anti-Cipher’s Bill-Hunting Suit and looking like an idiot.
The main thing that, for me, solidifies this idea that Bill made these pages up is the overall tone of how Ford is presented vs. how Bill is. What we see over and over in these pages is Ford being either a pathetic weirdo or downright unhinged while Bill is only ever clever, witty, and tremendously powerful. Bill being sOoOo powerful is actually what sticks out the most, where he’s talking about all of his super strong, impressive powers and then, when it comes to his weaknesses, interrupts the whole book. Toward the end, the Pines come together to talk about how that’s really the whole point here is that he wants to be seen as this all-powerful god even when he’s actually just a loser rotting in a psych ward. 
When it comes to what exactly was happening in Ford’s mind during that period of time after the portal test, I think it’s actually quite complicated but, overall, I don’t think Bill had a fraction of the power described in the dialogue on the dark pages of the ‘The War in my Mind’ section. What we know is that Bill made a deal with Ford so that he can possess Ford while he’s sleeping — but only while he’s sleeping. I think it’s interesting that the sticky notes bit was included because that just shows how Bill doesn’t even have enough power to sit down with Ford in his mindscape and talk to him, all he can do is beg incessantly through notes. It just seems to me that he doesn’t have nearly the direct power over Ford that’s described and especially when that’s paired with all kinds of stuff that paints Ford in a very unflattering light (like bringing back the anti Cipher society shit), it feels less like Ford is just genuinely going through it and more like Bill is trying to present stuff a certain way and being a salty ex.
Then, on the ‘Snowed In’ page, there’s a snowflake that has Bill in it, which is weird because even though Ford worshipped him like a cult leader and had that whole room full of iconography, the one thing he never did was sneak Bill into his drawings. It almost feels like a hidden signature tbh. I do also think it’s interesting that, after a whole book of Bill being salty about and obsessed with Ford, we get these pages where Ford is shown to be pathetically obsessed with Bill while also having this thing with Fiddleford that’s super romantically coded.
Lastly, as others have pointed out, the journals were completely restored after Bill's defeat so, given that Journal 3 ends after Weirdmageddon, we already have the full, complete journal without any missing pages. When I think about what's been added in this section, it's stuff that either wouldn't have been in this journal in the first place or wouldn't have been removed from the journal if it had been there at all. Also, the 'My Muse' page is written in such a way that it's very clearly the first mention of Bill at any point in any of the three journals - he says he "has a secret" and introduces this "Muse" for what is very obviously the first time ever. Objectively, there could not have been five whole pages about Bill Cipher that even call him by name before this page is written and it wouldn't make any sense for Ford to have written those pages, removed all of them, and then turned around and written the "My Muse" page a month or so after ripping out the "June 15th" stuff.
Anway, obviously we can’t be sure of the intent this book was written with and if it’s meant to be Bill making shit up or if people just accidentally made something that comes across that way, but I personally don’t see these pages as canonically being part of the actual journals. It would be super cool if they’d release the other two journals at some point to expand upon the worldbuilding and also give more insight into the rest of the six years Ford spent doing his research and everything that led up to him summoning Bill. Until then, I’m curious what the rest of y’all think about this.
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a-chicken-with-adhd · 8 days ago
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This has been on my mind for a while, I've talked to myself about it a lot to work things out and the wording. Here it is.
I think i have a really cool narrative or idea for a red hood/Jason Robin comic run. Correct me if I'm wrong but from the knowledge I have. Jason's run as Robin was short in comparison to Damian, Tim's, and Dick's. I've seen a lot of year one Batman and Robin, Batman and Robin, Batman and son. Where it's Dick Damian or Tim, but not Jason. I've noticed a lot of comics focuse of Red Hood Jason and not Robin Jason or they have robin jason as a haunting narrative for redhood Jason. (I might be completely wrong but this is just what I've noticed from my visit to my local comic book store weekly)
I propose an idea.
A semi decently long comic run of Jason as Robin and Jason as redhood. It's a somewhat non-linear storyline. It's first introduced with Robin Jason year one, there's two narrators- Robin Jason that speaks his mind in present tense in the moment kinda like normal comics on what hes dojng what he found out and what he needs to do, but there's also a second narrative a second monolog that doesnt appear as often.
Their color box is a darker richer red, they speak in past tense and their text box speaks more on reworking their view of what happened and what they felt(kinda like in therapy where you review? Reconstruct? Put a different lense? On the memory) that monolog box belongs to Redhood Jason todd and it doesn't appear often.
The comic run will take on a more detective comic style, where it's not action! Action! Action! And you have a whole ark done in 6 issues, but where it takes its time, building feeling, the world, the situation, the stakes, the characters. You get to see Jason out of the Robin costume and in the Robin costume. You get to see some of his habits change as he grows into his new environment, how his Morals change the longer he's Robin. But I don't want the comic to drag as some arks in detective comics does. I want good pacing.
I want the struggles and story ark that Jason Robin has to go through really make him struggle or touch on a moral he has, causing inner reflection and change.
Then I want the comic to switch to the true present time. With Jason as redhood. I want the monolog boxes to then change with redhood being the main voice now talking in present tense abou the situation , what he found out, what he's going to do. While Robin Jason's voice is more background. Not talking in past tense but rather future tense.
I want their issues(the problems they are facing) to parallel each other. They are facing similar a situation but now in different times, I want then for Robin Jason's monolog box to talk in future tense about if he came across a similar situation what he would do. Only for present redhood to not do it. To show how different Jason Robin and Jason redhood are.
I want there to be mirrors between Bruce and Jason's relationship while he was Robin and while he is redhood. His relationship with Dick etc. I want there to he parallels between Jason out of the Robin costume and Jason out of the redhood gear, parallels on how they are nothing like each other but exactly the same. Their habits are similar but slightly to the left of each other.
I want the story to be haunting, inner reflective, and bittersweet.
Maybe the comic ends with redhood Jason looking at the mirror and seeing Robin Jason looking back. They stand face to face, looking each other in the eye, their monologs overlap and for once in the entirety of the comics run, they are thinking the exact same thing in the same tense because they are the same the person. they are one, nothings slightly to the left of each other.
But, because they are on each side of the mirror, it shows how separate and different they are.
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ripplestitchskein · 5 months ago
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To be a bit clearer about my issue with the tweet that I talked about in this post as I was posting in the car on the way home (I was not driving but had to do it fast because I get super motion sick) and have had some time to expand a bit:
If we’re talking about the general concept “Stolas set the parameters of the initial sexual transaction thus rooting their relationship in sex from the start and because Blitz is too self loathing and willfully blind to see the desired parameters have changed it is Stolas who made their relationship all about sex in large part because Blitz was never going to be in a healthy enough space to be the one to change it” then yes I agree with the sentiment.
Stolas could have simply said “I’ll let you use the grimoire in exchange for a date” instead of jumping straight to sexual relationship and they could have gotten to know each other first, maybe one date for each Full Moon*. So yes, he did make it this way, he set the terms. At the start of the show.
(*Side note: This would be a super cute fanfic premise tbh and if the show did something like that, where they need to exchange something and say “Hey, how about we make a deal to go on a date on the Full Moon” it would be a really fucking adorable way to reconcile them *starry eyes*. Just think about how much that would slap. The narrative circle of that would be *chef’s kiss*. )
My problem with the framing of “Stolas started it that way in Murder Family, was super over the top horny for a few episodes, now he must suffer the consequences despite the fact that he has been trying to change their dynamic since Blitz expressed how he felt in Ozzie’s” is that, the events of The Circus completely recontextualize the deal we see made and Stolas’s behavior.
We, the audience, didn’t know in S1 that Blitz initiated the whole thing and that Stolas was just mirroring that energy, so I am extremely understanding of this perception pre-S2. Even up until Western Energy, but by Oops we have enough evidence to show Stolas has been trying, Blitz is just refusing. So Stolas didn’t “make it this way” for where the characters are NOW. Not in a “It is Blitz’s fault” taking sides in the divorce way, but in a “This is about character growth or the deliberate lack of it within the story” way.
My big issue with the tweet now, and didn’t learn until I read the tags of a lovely person is that is apparently from an individual who actually works on the show. And that is….kinda concerning to me. A bit.
The idea that Stolas’s efforts count for nothing because he set the initial deal and behaved badly at the start, that we the audience should still see the current dynamic as “Stolas making everything sexual” is a problem 8 episodes into the 2nd season. We have many examples of him not doing that any longer, he has changed, we the audience have been shown that change. Why is it still being framed this way by the actual creative team?
I don’t know how animation production works, so I’m not sure if the people who work as animators are given the whole picture or not. I don’t even know they are fans necessarily, or if they get their individual parts to work on and that’s it. I have zero background info on how these meetings are conducted. I am not coming from a position of authority in this regard.
Setting aside the dismissal of Stolas’s character growth this season. framing it this way undermines the journey Blitz is on too. At this point in the story he is refusing to acknowledge Stolas’s earnest attempts, his willful ignorance is not a funny gag but a reflection of his character and state of mind. It is implied his own trauma and self loathing make him unable to believe what has being explicitly told to him. This confrontation is the tipping point for further development in one direction or another. His choice now is to continue to ignore it and lose Stolas entirely or to try and work through it in some way. By implying Stolas is the one who created thier current situation way back in S1 implies Blitz’s ignorance of Stolas’s feelings is not because of character’s motivations and his own choices to ignore it but simply because it was that way at the start and it is immutable. Stolas said “sex for book please” and “jelly sandwiches” and Blitz was just “I’m just doing what he said he wanted, now he’s coming out of nowhere with this feelings stuff” when a huge part of showing the audience that it is Blitz’s self loathing driving the conflicts in his life is that he refuses to believe the truth of the situation which is it wasn’t Stolas making it all about sex at all. That Stolas has been trying and Blitz keeps shutting it down because of his issues.
That just seems like a crucial part of what we’re doing here? Yes Stolas creates the situation in S1 but he went out of his way to do the opposite in S2.
Obviously this individual’s qualifications for interpretation, being an actual employee, trump my “I’ve watched it a bunch and obsess over it constantly” credentials by a long shot. But my concern is to have a meeting of people responsible for creating the show reflect this sentiment after what we’ve seen in S2 so far is just a little baffling to me?
Either those attempts by Stolas portrayed on screen and the change in his behavior towards Blitz after he realizes his feelings are meaningless in the face of first impressions being everything to both Blitz and the audience. If that is the case I’m not sure why they would be included if the end result interpretation is still “Stolas horny. Made it all about sex. The end.”
Or, I am misreading something, either the tweet itself or the canon text. This is very possible, tweets being an imperfect communication tool and myself being an imperfect person. But as I stated in the original post, if we’re accounting for what is shown on screen as being how we should interpret the characters, Stolas has been trying for months to shift gears and Blitz is the one who continues to frame it as “just sex”. So I just find the tweet completely out of touch with the narrative we’re consuming.
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blitzsicedcoffee · 4 months ago
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Woke up in the middle of the night thinking about Blitz fucking buckzo and need to get this outta my head.
I thought at first that Blitz's constant push away of any affection from Stolas was kinda petty. Like just be soft come on.
But then I reflected or I guess I dreamed about my past experiences with rich friends in high school and college and remembered how much I resented them.
Of course I was never as mean as Blitz gets in the show. But it was off handed comments like "must be nice" and "wow this is a bit much huh" when at their homes or when they would talk about their latest luxury vacation.
As someone who grew up lower middle class it is hard to have as much sympathy for those who have so much more than you. Just for being born into it. Not only that, they often as people seem untouchable and so it makes complete sense to me why Blitz thought Stolas couldn't get hurt. Not just cause he was powerful but because he's an untouchable royal.
"don't touch that pretty thing" is a double meaning in this sense at least to me. Stolas is pretty, yes, but Blitz fights in that moment to willingly and outwardly touch royalty. If you think about it, Blitz has never really initiated contact in good faith when it isn't a full moon night, and besides during Seeing Stars when they were in a crisis situation.
Royalty is something he has been told his whole life is untouchable. That he could get hurt or killed for probably, since it's hell. No wonder he has problems trusting Stolas.
I've said this part before but we as the audience know these boys trauma but they don't know one another's. I think they will address the class angle with Stolas, and I think Blitz will finally feel confident eventually to let go of his biases too.
It's much easier I believe to let go of biases towards those below you than it is for those below you to let go of biases of those so much higher than you.
Okay that's all now go the fuck to sleep, me.
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olasketches · 6 months ago
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What do you think are Sukuna and Yuuji’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic?
oh I love questions like that!!
for sukuna, I wanted to say his intelligence and creativity but to be honest I think it's his curiosity and inquisitiveness. Intelligence and creativity are like muscles. you develop them the more you observe, learn, practice and experience and one of sukuna's defining traits is that he's incredibly observant. his curiosity in a way contradicts his "I don't give a fuck about anything" attitude but then we have witnessed time and time again how he finds other sorcerous intriguing or in sukuna's words "fascinating". he even admits later to kashimo that he finds people tasty interesting
sukuna's curiosity allows him to learn new things and lets him acquire more knowledge (hence why he's so adaptable and strategic in combat), probably as a way to keep himself entertained, after all he's also a super bored individual. However, one would think that for someone with such strong sense of curiosity and inquisitiveness that naturally leads him into exploring and learning, he would be much more prone to growing and evolving as a person... well not in sukuna's case nuh uh. cause this guys biggest problem obstacle is him himself.
sukuna claims he doesn't need anyone and thinking his way of living is perfectly fine and yet he showed doubts when that one "annoying brat" who he can't seem to ged rid off (by literally and metaphorically cutting them off) the way he did everyone else, made him reflect on himself for the first time in millennium. sukuna is a great and cunning observant... of everyone but himself. I think his greatest personality weakness is his absolute lack of self awareness, which is kinda funny considering that he's also a character with the most overwhelming sense of self. it’s like he knows damn well who is and doesn’t need external validation but then because he never self reflects he can’t really grow and evolve as a person… and if it wasn't for sukuna and yuuji's forced coexistence, sukuna would have most likely still kept going about his life the way he always did without trying to understand his own thoughts, feelings, values, beliefs, and actions. the reason he never questioned his own way of being is cause others are just a way for him to pass time rather than an opportunity to reflect upon himself and learn something about his own inner workings…
and then we have yuuji who I would say is on the same spectrum just on the opposite end. yuuji doesn't really reflect on himself or question the world he lives in but that wasn't always the case. in the first ten chapter we actually get to witness his internal monologue about death and his place in all of this but after his first encounter with a certain death, everything changes. yuuji stopped reflecting on himself and instead started repressing his emotions. someone actually made a great meta about this, he actively avoids thinking about the whole situation, which brings me to my point. I think yuuji's greatest personality weakness is actually his impulsiveness. he tends to make decisions without thinking about the consequences first. yuuji, like most of teenagers tbh, doesn't want to think too hard about the world he lives in so long as he has something to do but I believe this might also be related to the perception he has of himself as "the dumb one". “Im an idiot so there’s no point in me thinking about these things right?” you can even see that sort of attitude when megumi admits why he saved yuuji that day
you’re so smart fushiguro. thinking about all sorts of stuff, unlike me.
oh yuuji.. yuuji.. :/. but in some ways yuuji's impulsiveness can also work in his favour. his "do it now, think later" attitude doesn't allow him much room to overthink, so once he commits to a task he doesn't back down until he achieve his goal. that's why, I believe his greatest strength are his determination and strong will, something even sukuna couldn't break.
sukuna and yuuji’s strength and weakness go hand in hand and complement one another. sukuna's habitual curiosity reflects yuuji's obliviousness to the world around him, whilst yuuji's determination (but also just sheer existence) caused sukuna to have doubts about his way of living. they're complete polar opposite and yet in some ways they're more alike than they think. neither of them is a big fan of self reflection. they're both stubborn af. physical pain is just an after thought to them, they'll keep going even if they loose half of their limbs. "violence is the solution". they're both freaks who don't mind eating human flesh and one of them actually enjoys it. and lastly, they're both just really miserable. sukuna's selfishness only made him hollow inside and yuuji's selflessness only brought him more suffering and pain. they also think that the solution to their problems is to kill the other one (which is kinda funny now that I think about it lol tho in yuuji's case this is kinda true.. but also not really) and yet they’ve been essential to each other’s growth. they’re both really fucked up individuals who hate each other’s guts and make each other’s lives a living hell but at the same time they also know and understand the other one’s soul like no one else… what’s not to love?
sukuna and yuuji’s dynamic is actually the reason why I fell in love w jjk in the first place. their interactions are always fun and entertaining and they always leave with an even bigger brainrot but at this point I think it’s safe to say that these two consumed my mind and heart and maybe even soul completely. I just can’t get enough of them.
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yuurei20 · 4 months ago
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Epel Facts Part 30: Epel and Ace (pt2)
Ace sacrifices Epel to Floyd during the Halloween vignette in order to save himself, but Epel indirectly gets his revenge shortly after when Ace insults Leona and Leona declares, “I don’t care who comes at you, or what happens to you. Ain’t my problem.”
Epel responds, “That’s what you get for setting me up. Serves you right!”
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Ace begin Book 5 with wanting to protect Epel from Vil, deciding that he wants to “knock him out of the running for the contest” since Epel doesn’t want to participate anyway.
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After seeing how harsh Vil can be, however, Ace’s stance changes to wanting to keep his head down so as not to attract Vil’s ire.
Ace and Epel are seen together during the first New Year’s event, but as Ace leaves Epel behind after he gets what he has come for they may have just coincidentally met in line rather than intentionally spent time together.
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Ace seems hung up on Epel’s physical appearance, commenting that Vil forcing Epel to participate in the VDC is mean because, “just look at the guy,” saying that he has a “Pomefiore vibe” and that the over-the-top cuteness of the ghost that possesses Epel “fits perfectly with your look.”
He seems surprised when Epel reacts with, “THAT AIN’T A COMPLIMENT!”
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Ace says that, “on the inside, Epel’s basically like Deuce,” saying that, “the way (Epel) powers through on sheer determination alone kinda reminds me of Deuce,” that Jack is the same way and that he himself just doesn’t “get” the athletic mindset.
Azul makes a similar observation about Epel during Book 6: Epel gets excited about a “pre-game huddle” before the group disbands to go after Idia and Azul says, “I’m not really into the whole jock thing, you know.”
Epel is Ace’s interviewer for his third birthday vignette, during which Ace asks Epel to teach him how to become a better flyer.
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Epel is surprised that Ace would go to him for help and Ace explains that it would be easier to ask questions of him than a senpai. Epel agrees.
Ace invites Epel out to a hamburger shop on the island, surprised to hear that Epel didn’t have access to such a common fast food chain in his village and he would have to take a car into a neighboring town to eat there at all.
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Ace compliments Epel during Phantom Bride, saying that he ticks all the classic prince boxes.
When Riddle starts praising Epel’s bravery, however, Ace interrupts with, “You and Epel wouldn’t even get a turn if I was there!," and he takes offense at a guardsman ghost mistaking him for a retainer to the more princely Epel, saying, “Now that’s funny. As if I’m anything like these other plebes.”
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When Epel shows up on a white horse Ace reacts with, “Does any prince from this century do that!?” Ace tries to get support from Riddle and Rook, but they both approve of Epel’s idea of the horse.
Ace reflects, “Does that mean I was wrong and (Epel) was right?”
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rmbunnie · 6 months ago
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Another little inconsequential red hood thing and I'll admit that I'm decently biased but it irks me to see the whole "Jason can't shut up about his death/he makes his death everyone else's problem" take really frequently because he simply does not do that enough for it to be a thing in like any actual Red Hood story.
It's a thing you see sometimes in modern annuals/comics with large casts, particularly if a writer doesn't seem super confident with writing all of the characters that they're working with or if he's just a background character in this one, because with comics it's quicker to reduce a character to recognizable landmarks than to try and work out a whole new complex voice if you don't really need to, so it's tire iron, Jane Austen, Joker, and death, and it's all written out in dialogue because every character in a group event can't have their own internal monologue, but like. That's pretty much it. UTRH is the establishing event for Jason Todd post death so of course a lot of it is about his death, although it's arguably about the lack of response to his death more than his death itself, and he certainly makes it Bruce's issue but one beef doesn't make a trend. Plus if his death is anyone's issue beyond his own Bruce and Joker are like the number one guys whose issue it is. He THINKS about his death a ton in Lost Days, but it doesn't really reflect externally on any of his interactions besides with Joker, which again, that's justified and relevant beef. Teen Titans 29 is more about his place in the hero community/feeling like he was an outsider even before the bomb/Tim being the new robin than about his death, and side note, that being counted as an attempt on Tim's life also bugs me. He beat him up and then left of his own volition. That's not an assassination attempt its called a fight, albeit a sneaky and unfair one. But anyways. I can't speak on Battle for the Cowl because i haven't read it, both that and Batman and Robin 2009 don't really compel me, but it's entirely possible that's an outlier to my point seeing as I kinda sorta haven't read it and don't care to lmao. Even New 52 (although HIGHLY unpopular) and Rebirth/Dawn of DC/Whatever we're doing now Red Hood content don't really have him talking to people about it besides the occasional little quips. He might make stances that were developed because of his death other people's problem, like in the Mia Dearden Green Arrow situation with the "getting involved in other people's business" issue, but acting like he makes specifically his death everyone else's problem is ignoring all of the perfectly valid actually canon things he makes other people's problem. Most of the unpleasant traits he brings to the table are a result of his death and the sense of abandonment and betrayal that came with it, but that doesn't mean he's bringing his death into it when he acts unpleasantly any more than he's bringing his birth into it when he shows up in the first place. The consequences do not equal the event. All this to say it's irritating when people say the character is grating because he doesn't stop whining about his death when that kinda just indicates to me that they're working off fanon based on fanon based on kinda mid batman annual.
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