#this kind of became a vent

[lynaferns]

I used to not care if there was romance in something I was consuming.

But for the last few years I think I have developed rejection towards it. Not in a "ew, gross" kind of way just a "oh... man... I may not enjoy this as much as I thought".

It probably has to do with the fact that I've been looking at more "romance content" in the last few years than I've ever seen and I also realized how much is shown/posted/sell everywhere. It's hard to find platonic content for adults (and with how picky I am... It's hard to find something that I like), and when you find a circle of people that also prefer platonic content it's hard to keep it alive, and keep yourself motivated to do art and writing.

One of the things I hate about being a social species is the effects of social pressure. Everyone likes circles, you like triangles. You feel bad, because no one is interested in your triangle, or at least not as much as everyone is in circles. Maybe some other triangle enjoyers reach out to you because they felt validated when they found you also like triangles. You feel good for a while, but it's not enough for you, even if you find a group of people where you understand each other, the amount of people preferring circles and all of that propaganda everywhere (either on purpose or accidental) still will make you feel small. You start to wonder if you should give in to it or keep doing what you truly enjoy even if there will never be as many triangles as there are circles.

I'm tired of feeling tense when I'm going to watch a new movie or show because idk if at some point there is going to be a main plot about romance that may or may not ruin it for me. Are the two characters getting closer because they are going to be good friends by the end? Or are they setting up the romance plot? Are they going to be friends for the whole movie and kiss out of nowhere at the end? Maybe it wasn't out of nowhere, but I didn't see how they got there.

And here I would enter in character dynamics and themes used like jealousy, red flags, forgiveness, etc. But that would be for another post, because I have personal preferences that a lot of people won't relate to and I don't feel like doing that now.

[sawsquared]

something based on a scene from "you're not who you are to anyone" by @venomouschocolate

[diamondbrickz]

this is a legitimate cry for help

[yaoifortresstwo]

breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh

[bugwolfsstuff]

bringing up Christianity always makes me angry because every time I do I remember the summer I was 12 when one of my classmates attempted suicide and the night he did it he was a alive for just a little while after in hospital and I wasn't that religious (I was watching the Lucifer series before hand which made me think about God and the devil) anyways and I didn't really like the guy but that night I stayed up playing my music and sobbing and praying to god to let him live and then he ended up dying the next day and I went to his funeral and I remember wondering what kind of cruel god would claim to be loving and all powerful but let a 12 year old cry and beg for the life of another 12 year old.

And I still can't figure out if that'd be considered religious trauma or not.

Is it trauma?

[dandyshucks]

someone i know irl from highschool has been following me on tumblr since i was in grade 10/11 or smth and they stopped using tumblr for a long time but now they're back active on it and i'm open about my DID on my account over there and 🧍‍♂️ they've continued to treat me like normal so i don't know if they don't see that or if they're just ... cool about it ? but thats a little frightening HFDSJKL

[penultimate-step]

the reason so many bad takes are resulting from that ship wars poll, in my opinion, is the same reason a good deal of tumblr discourse just goes bad immediately - because people just cannot let go of their idea what shows they watch or books they read make them somehow morally or intellectually superior to others

people can't just say they want destiel to win because they watched supernatural as a kid and it was really important to them, or they want sulemio to win because the characters really resonated with them, they have to say their vote is a sign that they, as people, are better in some way

No, liking G-Witch does not make you more socially progressive, and no, liking supernatural doesn't make you more intelligent. I don't understand why this is even a premise people are considering?

some people are really eager to find a way to claim superiority or feel like they are improving without actually like. doing anything. I don't think it's a very healthy attitude to have. there isn't any TV show so good that watching it counts as praxis

[syn0vial]

yesterday, i learned that one of my acquaintances from church is like, gleefully and unreservedly supportive of the gazan genocide despite going to a church where every sermon for the past few weeks has been about the horrors and tragedy of said genocide. like, i could not fucking believe how hilarious he seemed to think it is that innocent palestinians are dying, just grinning and laughing and shaking his head and rolling his eyes when my pastor and i expressed horror at the innocent people being killed. just remembering it makes me choke up with anger.

anyway, i'm going to be very stupid and try to talk to him about it this coming sunday. i'll use all my teacherly tricks to try and gently lead him to feel one single scrap of empathy for the victims of israel's civilian massacre, but lbr: he'll probably respond with the same amount of glee and condescension as last night and it's going to end with me making me a scene at church.

but i know i shouldn't. so here are some things i should NOT say, no matter how angry he makes me:

i've always hated the sound of your voice, even before you said such horrible things. you say everything with such condescension. when you read the gospels in church, i have to hide my face behind my program to hide my grimacing. you make the words of christ himself sound like a grift of some oily used car dealer who thinks he's smarter than he actually is. i pity you for going through life with such a voice, and pity you even more for thinking it charming.

it baffles me that you'd allow something as basically human as compassion for the suffering of others to be so utterly sanded away by propaganda. it's pathetic that you could laugh at innocents dying. you've let yourself be lobotomized by a clumsy surgeon and style yourself wise with the icepick still sticking from your skull.

i've always thought your face looks like an easter island head sculpted from a raw chicken breast.

see? none of those would be productive, no matter how truly they express my feelings about this person.

thus: people of faith, pray that god grants me the wisdom and restraint to not light this motherfucker up in the middle of coffee hour. amen.

[thethingything]

I hate that feeling of like, knowing you have some emotional stuff going on in the background that you have to process but you can't seem to access the emotions properly or figure out exactly what's going on with them so you have no fucking clue where to start. like okay I know I have to deal with this shit but I'd at least like to know what shit I'm trying to deal with

[qumiiiquinnquin]

maybe ive said it before, but i feel like im going to pick up a lot of habits my parents had, like smoking and drinking extremely unhealthy amounts of cigarettes and alcohol

[edns]

"You kill as if it means nothing to you."

Chapter 4 of Cerise Sun has been out on AO3 for a while! My health was too bad to make a proper announcement and it still kind of is but umm. Link will be in reblogs in a bit!

[krea2re]

Im about to become an oc guy

[lostsomewhereinescapism]

what to do when i fall in love with a cute girl who just works in one small shop that I often go to....

[mintykiwi]

who hurt all tomorrows for you :(

):

[celestial-ringleader]

Love it when I'm trying to have fun in an rp server and then people have their muses just decide to be sexist assholes towards my (male) muse 😐

[xxdr3amsnatchrrxx]

yeah i don't think i'll be getting the computer i wanted lol.