#this just makes me so freaking happy ;w;
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birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
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If i start posting dc stuff on here, it means i lost the fight w myself. The demons won. Im sorry
#chattin#realistically i will be making a diff blog for it#bc its. its alot. and i dont want to engage w the fandom via posting#maybe.#but i def dont want to talk to anyone in there#there are so many white people from ohio in that fandom. ill die for real#ive ALWAYS liked bman and supes stuff. i just. well#theres too many comics. its too confusing. theres too many shows. too many contradictions#and really dogshit movies that are too grimdark for me to enjoy#prob the only fandom where i have to cherry pick the things i like out of the main series things#to make a story and set of characters i like wo making it feel overwhelmingly ooc#also. u cannot give me alien characters and NOT make me go insane#but no one is interested in it in the way i am. like w specbio stuff#this is what happenee w d/bz too. like where is the love of making goku a little monkey freak of nature and not Human w Superstrength#all the freaks are hiding from me. where are they…🥺#i dont care about canon lore for why clark is more human than youd think#thats BORING. more emphasis on the sun affecting him please.#i was about to write some incredibly suggestive specbio shit and realized thats not appropriate in these tags for This post#just know that i care. i care so much. all my alien ocs are weird. and i wanna do the same w supes#and i wanna do the sawe w the little mans#and i want to write humans dealing w the little things that remind them that hes an alien#the kitty eyes glint in the dark. the almost nonexistant heartbeat. standing motionless for hours at a time#weird vocalizations when hes ‘sleeping’. weird vocalizations that come out when hes happy or spooked#the way he flies. the way hes both indestructible but incredibly lightweight (or dense if u prefer)#ugh#ill make a blog for it. bc its gnawing at my brain now and it wont leave me alone
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i like it so much when there is a spider :`) it makes me so happy to be able to see a spider and watch the spider and know that there are spiders nearby. and when i am stressed or worked up i can just look at a spider and calm down. spiders <3
#personal#spiders#i can see bean's little toes poking up over the cork bark and it just brings me so much joy#to know that there are two lovely spiders only 6 feet away (even if sprout is hiding after her big meal yesterday)#and i get to get more spiders next weekend! i'm so excited!#i need to rearrange stuff so i have room for them#i think i'm getting at least one jumper again and it's just making me so happy to think about#and one or two tarantulas if i can find the species i want at a reasonable size and price#(looking for a brazilian black and/or mexican flame-knee. not to be confused w mexican fire leg or red leg.)#i could get more than one jumper...#and also shhhhh maybe a black widow but dont tell my mom she'd freak out#spider not-enjoyers do not tell me about how u don't like spiders. this is a post about loving spiders.
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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things im still not over (as someone who was mostly inactive since mid 2021):
mask and change my clothes!! i dont think i was active on tumblr when change my clothes was released, but the way i ascended when i heard his soft sweet singing voice <33 mask is my favorite song of his and it still makes me emotional to think about what the song meant to him. his creativity is one of his greatest strengths and i am endlessly happy that he found a way to share more of himself in a way that he really enjoys
DREAM TEAM MEETUP tbh i really did not know if these days would ever come. its so so so crazy to think that florida man dream texas cowboy sapnap and british george are really all living together and existing in the same space. seeing them be THEM irl is still very surreal and makes me pause for a second without fail. so so much of the community centered around them not having met each other irl
DREAM FACE REVEAL!!!! this one i REALLY HONESTLY didnt know if it would ever come, just because the courage it takes to face reveal after building one of the largest audiences is fucking crazy. i thought that even if they did end up living together, dream might’ve found that he is happy to just be with them and not want to face reveal anymore. ig never doubt dream- he’s such a “go big or go home” type of person. i love him regardless but now he is also a big bear who wears cat beanies and has the prettiest eyes and im emotionally attached
dream pics before his face reveal with a big emphasis on suit pics, swt halloween, and strawberry dream. his white hoodie posey pose and the ones with the blanket and patches have a permanent home in my heart but these had me convulsing and i didnt get to gush about them here </3
#long tagsss#why does it feel like no time has passed yet SO MUCH has changed#i feel very very late to everything i think in some ways i am still kinda stuck in the past#it was just today where i officially really matched dream to his voice and that was rlly cool#he has always been very cute and dorky kind generous and open hearted#and you can see that when he interacts with people in irl streams too#ik i kinda left wo saying anything and sometimes i wish i had still been active to freak out abt everything w everyone#but basically it just got more stressful than fun bc my hpfx became unhealthy and i had to move for college and learn to be on my own#im back home now after transferring and my mental health is a lot better#sm has changed in my life too!!#being active here still makes me feel nostalgic abt all the old times though#however it really is just the beginning and i keep thinking abt how dream spoke abt things speeding up and im v v happy that i get to tunein#dreamblr
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#images that are for me and lucy#i need the women to be more relevant . i need my woman back and not written out like shit .#thoughts ->#i think she should straight up just be osi still/again (maybe temporarily quit for a bit)#assigned during s4 bc fuck hatred#she wants the boys to have a more normal life -> D is drawn to that -> thats what begins the divide between the boys not whatever s7 was#<- not to say they wouldnt get along during then its just when they start being less together#and i think that would allow more stuff w H + R especially seeing how much H values TV + his dad's approval in general#god theres just so much lacking w H + R in general like their dynamic is so tossed aside its just jokes and uncaring#like the hospital talk in s7 could have been something but it wasnt . i just really like H's relationship w his dad#theres just so much potential w it thats not there#B should have the same rivalry he had s SgtH except better this time and not just for one ep#i think they should be at each others throats whenever they see each other bc they have such different expectations from the boys#and the family in general#very much tries to be a mother figure to the boys which H rejects (like how he started w SgtH) and D has complicated feelings abt it#i think she goes back and forth abt hating R because she hates that their clones but is happy theyre alive but hates that theyre trapped#in the life they have and wants to try to make it more normal#but they would start going on adventures again (which freaks B out) because god damn . i miss their adventures#which ik isnt 'normal' but i think she would also have a different view on 'normal' being osi#basically i need my woman back . bring her back . for me#i think her being around would also push the want for finding their 'real' mom more than like . the reasoning in the movie or whatever#actually im gonna toot my own horn . her presence would just make things work better irt family dynamic stuff#vs whatever the hell happened in s4 and s7 .#anyway . bring her back . im about to rewrite so much stuff for the ladies but god damn she is my woman#<- already did NF . now its her time#my art#okay good bye i wrote a novel
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i think i posted abt this before but anyways i found this old "progress update!" drawing of mine on a discord server i use for saving stuff.. so i was like let me redraw it in 2023, a whole 3-4 yrs later
#pen & tablet drawing are like 1-2 weeks apart but whatever anyways i havent finished a sketch w/ my tablet since i got it#happy i didn’t just give up and erase the entire thing like i usually do. it makes me oddly happy#i’m still incredibly far from where i want to be‚ clearly‚ but i think 11 yr old me would freak the FUCK out if she saw me now#i don’t save my old drawings (except this i guess) so i don’t see the progress and i felt like i was just stuck at the same level lol#so i'm happy to see i've improved a bit over time :)#💭#edit: take a shot everytime i said the word happy
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"i thought you said you'd make an effort" MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS ONLY COMPLAINT #1 OUT OF A VERY LONG LIST JUST BE GRATEFUL I CAN WAIT UNTIL THE GUESTS ARE GONE TO SNAP
#YEAH I MAKE AN EFFORT THATS WHY I ONLY COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STUFF I REALLY CANNOT DEAL WITH LONGTERM#god#it's just#incredibly annoying how my mom just goes OUT OF HER WAY to shrink the scope again when i just explained to her what would work#''so you can't speak up and if we do nothing it doesn't work'' yeah no shit then speak up YOU then. like i just said you probably should#i mean. you did say you don't control what guests bring. BUT YES YOU DO#yes you can speak to them about it#you can discuss and make it less systematic#you can express your thoughts#so you actually just lie to sympathize with me but you don't give a shit#and yet you still act like you tried everything like you just don't know what else could be done#i told you what was my problem i told you what would make it better#say you have other priorities#say you expect me to make an effort and not to be the fucking freak i was my whole childhood#that you were kind enough to tolerate most of the time#even though i was sooooo fucking weird when you knew i had problems but couldn't categorize them so why would i need to do things different#say you don't understand why i hurts me if i can ''try to make an effort''#sorry the only kind of family reunion we have is food-based and i can't try and have good relationships w my family if i dont can it#and eat whatever's in front of me so that they can be happy i'm finally normal and grown up#god jesus christ#yeah it IS your house and i don't get to veto or force anything#dont act surprised when your smart plan for dealing with difficult things is expect your kid to shut the fuck up about any problem they hav#and then huh. weird. your kid isn't happy.#i try to foster a good relationship holy shit#i try to go past the things i don't like and compromise and engage w them#how is that not doing my best#i'm sorry i don't feel great when difficult things happen and also i can't control any of it#when you can and you've also shown me many time i can't expect actually meaningful support from you#broadcasting my misery#vent
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my therapist fr just asked me if in asexual. gagged and gooped, sitting across from her on that dumbass couch like a fool.
#LIKE#CLAIRE IDK 💀🙏#i dont think im asexual i just think i have trust issues ⚰️#like i cant ever imagine myself happy in a romantic relationship. what does that say abt me 🧍♀️#nah i need to fall in love with someone bro i cant be a hopeless romantic for nuthing!! 😭#actually. controversial opinion thats not going to help me beat these ace allegations BUT#in an ideal world romance wouldnt exist. bc like. who needs it? lmfaoo just have friends or sumthing. we all just do our own lil things-#-seperately and live cool eco lifestyles and no one is in poverty or fighting in wars and everyone is funky fresh#like why u gotta be in love for? doing too much 💀🙏#marry ur bsf or something and let it be platonic. why u gotta invest so heavily in ur feelings for 💀💀#nah. im not abt to tell claire this bc shes gonna truly suspect im asexual or a very bitter single person LMAO#romance is good for one thing and that’s fictional shipping and making fun of ur friends TERRIBLE taste in men 💪#(im aware this post might age badly. if i ever lose my mind and start posting abt someone on here yall humble me with this)#(probs bc i view falling in love too seriously. i cant even think of dating someone w/o thinking of marriage and THAT FREAKS ME OUT 😭😭)#not hp#rewriting
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BESTIES (50TH) WIN🥹🫶🏻
#kinda freaked me out in the 3rd but hey it’s what y’all do best#closing out march with a W#laffy 5 pt night#bread 4 pt night#lindy 3 pt night#you just love to see it#i love them#i’d die for them#they might make my blood pressure rise but at the end of it they make my heart so happy#rangers lb
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youtube
#diana's music diary#good morning. sick today. head hurts. feel drained. in pain.#my neighbours were being really loud earlier and it woke me up... had to put on ear muffs...#I'm just going to rest in bed until my partner is around#and then maybe we can relax together... we haven't had good alonetime in a while... so that'd be nice... I love her...#people are setting off fireworks outside right now and it's startling me and I'm freaked out again... so hopefully she'll be around soon...#yesterday was bad at first with the assessment stuff but when I got home I felt a lot better after seeing my friends and muties happy 😊#some friends and I watched a bad movie.. it was fun to laugh at with them and then just hang out after..#I felt kind of bad for a bit later into that night but my partner being there helped a lot U^w^U#anyways yes.. I'm going to drink some water and rest in bed now... love you all... let's make today nice and good together 💛
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ok i don't know WHAT kind of brain fart I had but I've been thinking today marks 6 months since I started shipping with Bob... IT'S NOT SIX DLSKJFKSF IT'S EIGHT 😳😳😳 8 MONTHS!!!
so today i learned i don't know how to count but idec bc it's my 8 month bobiversarry lol ❤️
#(sorry there's basically a freaking diary entry in these tags damn) (needed to get my thoughts out ig lol)#i really am so grateful for him and doug. which i get could sound really silly to ppl outside of this community lol#but they've helped me through the past 8 months and have made me smile even when in the worst moods :'3#even putting the selfshipping aspect of it aside they just make me happy !!#i honestly CANNOT believe its been that long already though... time has freaking FLOWN by since sept#but actually thinking about it in that way makes me oddly motivated? like that post abt how#'the time will pass anyways.' like i could have done A LOT in those 8 months but... i didn't 🧍🏻♀️BUT#there's 8 more months right ahead of me to make use of. like i've been really wanting to learn music theory and production#and im scared bc of how much time it will take. but I started studying a few days ago... and in 8 months i'll have 8 months of experience#idk it's just a comforting thought#like maybe even just in 4 months on the one year bobiverssary (lol) i'll be able to look back on today#and be like WOW i learned SO much since then and made so much music etc. just need to manage my time better all around.#bc of course i also need to do my actual JOB aka finish my next novel and prep for selfpub#cause i'm excited but not nearly ready 4 when my current contract ends. idk if it'll get renewed or not but i'm cool w either outcome 🧘🏻♀#UMMM. i didn't expect to ramble that much LMFAO sorry i was caught off guard by the passage of time ! 😳#peanut butter and jelly donut#caitiechat
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not going 2 lie 2 u i try not to Talk About It bc it's unhelpful for moving forward but . goddamn do i miss my best friend.
#im now definitely at a point where like. im really really happy with my life im happier than i have ever been and i love my friends so much#and i definitely do not Lack anything socially#so i know it's not me being sad and lonely and nostalgic i literally just miss HER as a person.#i like her and love her so much and i hate that she made me feel like a weird freak for that when we were best friends for 5 years.#like it's fine . I'll survive lmao it doesn't matter#im just used to spending a lot of the christmas period w her and it's coming up to a year since our last Positive Interaction (Feb)#and i wish i could ask to hang out and buy her a present w/o her making me feel like a Worm for it. lol
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i’m the fool for thinking this guy is scared of me bc he likes me no he’s scared of me bc he could b my dad =_=
#that’s a huge exaggeration he could not b my dad at all.#i just thot it’d b funny to say that sorry sorry#captain’s log#I wanna b so positive about it and then i remember and then i’m like wel fuck who cares and then i’m like I CARE#anyway uhhhh. i think this will continue until it becomes a real problem for me#aka my friends murder me#whatever . yolo ! Hehehehe!#i do enjoy having that feeling that a guy is more scared of me that i’m scared of him#but also…. why is he scared is probably not a good reason#by probably i mean definitely#anyway um …. yeah im scared of him actually that’s just not true at all to say i’m not#but!……he’s still more of me. so that’s a win for me regardless#hes scared i can’t tell when he’s joking#BUDDY THATS U THATS LITERALLY UUUUUUU#HE GETS SCARED EACH TIME I JOKE ABOUT ANYTHING#BUDDY ITS OKAYYYYY!!!!!!!#it’s actually scary talking to him KNOWING the TRUTH.#i think i might be leading him on#i SHOULD b leading him to jump off a fucking cliff tbh! … byeee!!!!#tbh my issue is . i love talking i love guys. i love being a silly freak.#but guys aren’t attracted to me so i don’t usually get to that point#this rare instance is one that’s fucked for me . except i still wanna be silly and fun and etc.#bc it makes me happy bc i love attention and i love making guys uncomfortable#someone dissect my brain should i retire#fuck this guy i need a silly baka who understands my jokes….🚬#What’s wrong w having a guy u occasionally text can’t i have my own personal mystic messenger#Like genuinely!#my friend keeps saying we r ‘talking’ and i understand what she’s implying#but i talk to many ppl and it’s not much different than this#just bc HE likes me doesn’t mean we r ‘talking’
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cringe so hard when idols (you know who i'm specifically talking abt by now but it applies to all) interact with fans out in public and they're (the fans) always trying to touch and grab them when they're up close oh it gives me such second hand embarrassment and then when they follow them around i get heartburn like just tell them to fuck off 😭😭😭
#so many videos of him at mark's concert where he was clearly not having it and being annoyed LMAOOO they were all filming him instead of#paying attention to the concert they paid to see and he was like pointing at the stage teeling them to turn tf around i would have kms#and ppl afterwards just trying to grab at his hands oooooooohhhh god i wanna turtle shell about it so bad stop touching him freak!!!#having to be polite and even loving about people invading your personal space and privacy near constantly is insane#i'm surprised he hasn't broke and punched someone yet bc i would be clawing ppl's eyes out... but ik they're trained for it#still doesn't make it okay and i would never do it despite how obsessively loving i am for him. i would never wanna be a burden on him#and ik he talks abt ppl calling him & texting him on kkt in vlives and has this half-angry warning tone in his voice that just. makes me sad#having to tell people not to call you like you're actually friends... fuuuuuck man and you depend on these people to live. for your paycheck#and they feel completely entitled to your existence... i would never wanna make the person i love feel like that#i'm so happy my only interaction w him was making him smile and laugh like that in itself is a blessing even if i never get to see him again#but i hope i do at least get to touch or talk to him at some point... idk how bc he's prob not popular enough to tour america but like.#plsssss come back and see me i just wanna look in your big brown eyes again#ahem. anyways. just had to rant abt that
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boyfriend just told me he thinks it would be cute if we got our nails done together so they’d match.
#no bc why is this making me emotional HAHA 🥹#he lets me do my silly little activities without making me feel dumb about it#like he TOOK me to a rock & mineral show. and bought some of his own stuff too!!#took me to target and when I freaked out abt their pokemon plushes#and bought a giant eevee and like 4 eeveelutions#didn’t make fun of me at all was just so smiley and told me he loves seeing me happy#now he tells me he LIKES my nails and wants to share that w me ?!?!?!?#tjis is the nicest anyone has ever been to me#& ive dated men women etc#just. wahhhhhhhhhhh i am happy#rambles
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