#this just in you can acknowledge how far we’ve come while also acknowledging there’s still a way to go

[gotham--fc]

.

[ppleasexanny]

pictures of us.

matt x reader

you’ve never been in a relationship, not that you don’t want to be in one, but no one has ever found you attractive. your friends always came to you for advice, talking to you about their problems, their crushes, their love lives. 

“what should i say to him?” 

“he’s mad at me, what should i do?” 

“he’s been avoiding me for weeks! should i break up with him?” 

of course, you were happy for them, always offering advice with a genuine smile, but sometimes, deep down, you wished you were in their shoes. so many boys were enamored by their beauty, constantly chasing after them, leaving you to wonder, what about me? what was wrong with you? why didn’t anyone ever look at you the way they looked at them? 

it didn’t take long for you to stop caring. you convinced yourself that you didn’t need anyone to be happy. your life could be complete without someone else filling that space. 

“...but i also was- are you even listening to me?” matt’s voice pulled you from your thoughts, his words breaking through your trance. you blinked, realizing that you were sitting in his room on his bed, watching him talk while your mind had drifted away to places you didn't want to acknowledge. 

“hm?” you looked up, surprised by how much you had zoned out. matt was standing in front of you, dressed in his usual grey sweatpants, the waistband of his red calvin klein boxers peeking out from under them. he was just a few feet away, but your mind had wandered so far. 

“oh, sorry. i think i just... zoned out. what were you saying?” 

matt sighed, sitting beside you, his presence a little more serious than before. something about his tone didn’t sit right with you. 

“you’ve been acting... strange for the past few days. what’s up with you?” his voice was soft, but there was a frown on his face, concern in his eyes. 

“what do you mean by strange? i’m perfectly fine!” you didn’t realize how defensive you sounded until the words left your mouth. your voice rose sharply, startling both you and matt. 

he looked at you, his brows furrowing in confusion. why had you raised your voice? he hadn’t said anything wrong. he was just worried. but why did it bother you so much? 

matt’s voice softened, his gaze shifting from confusion to something else—something unreadable. “i’m just worried, okay? you’ve been... different. more distant.” 

you felt a tightness in your chest, but you didn’t know how to express what was really going on. maybe it was just easier to pretend like everything was fine. 

“maybe i’m just tired,” you said quickly, trying to brush it off. “nothing to worry about, matt.” 

but matt didn’t let it go. “i don’t think it’s just that. we’ve known each other forever, and i can tell when something’s off with you. if you’re going through something, you know you can talk to me.” 

your heart skipped a beat. was he just being a good friend? or was there something more? the way he was looking at you—so earnest, so concerned—it made your stomach flutter, but you quickly shut the thought down. no, you couldn’t be thinking like that. 

you didn’t respond immediately, your mind racing. instead, you changed the subject, almost too quickly. “hey, are you still watching gravity falls with your brothers?” you asked, hearing the familiar voices coming from the living room. “i love that show.” 

matt’s frown deepened, but he didn’t press any further. “yeah. they’re probably still watching. you wanna join them?” 

you smiled, but the thought of spending time with matt felt... different now. what is wrong with me? you thought, shaking your head. stop overthinking. 

𝜗𝜚

you loved music. you loved drawing. and those two passions, together, created something perfect for you. when you drew, it wasn’t just about the lines and colors. it was about the rhythm of the music guiding you, inspiring every stroke. you were like a painter with a soundtrack, each note blending seamlessly with the colors swirling on your canvas. music pulsed through your veins, setting the tempo, and guiding your hand. without it, drawing felt like trying to drive a car without fuel—motionless, incomplete. you couldn’t imagine creating anything without the melodies that calmed your mind and stirred your soul. 

matt was in the living room, watching gravity falls with his brothers. you loved this show. it was fun, clever, and full of strange adventures. but today, your thoughts felt distracted. you knew you shouldn’t, but something about the quiet of the house and matt being so engrossed in his show made you do it. you stood up from the chair that was next to matt’s desk and grabbed the diary he’d left behind, curiosity gnawing at you. 

inside, you found something unexpected 

pictures of you and him. 

at first, you giggled, feeling a warm sensation spread through you as you flipped through the pages. it was filled with things you two had talked about, little moments that seemed so simple but meant so much. but then you turned to the last page. 

it was a recent entry, dated for today. 

"might tell her how i feel tomorrow." 

your heart skipped a beat as you stared at the words, your mind trying to process what it meant. could it be? was matt talking about you? 

you ran your fingers over the page, over the ink. your thoughts raced. he’s been acting different, you realized. but i thought it was just me... 

you remembered the way matt had looked at you earlier, his eyes soft and full of concern. his subtle touches, the way he’d always been there when you needed him. you never thought much of it, not really. but now, the idea that he might feel something more made your chest tighten, and a strange warmth flooded your cheeks. 

you weren’t sure what to do with this new information. should you confront him? did you want him to tell you how he felt? what if it changed everything between you two? what if it ruined your friendship? 

you closed the diary, setting it down carefully on the bed. for the first time in a long while, you weren’t sure what to think, and the uncertainty was overwhelming. 

𝜗𝜚

later that evening, you were sitting in the living room, drawing absentmindedly. matt was still watching gravity falls, but his brothers weren’t there. you could feel his presence next to you, a palpable tension hanging in the air. you kept stealing glances at him, trying to figure out how to bring it up, or whether you should at all. 

just tell him, you thought. but fear of rejection, fear of ruining everything held you back. 

when matt finally turned to you, his voice was soft. “hey... i was wondering if we could talk about something.” 

you froze. oh no. here it comes. 

“sure,” you said, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. 

he hesitated for a moment, then exhaled slowly, as if gathering courage. “you’ve been distant lately. and i know you’ve been... busy, but i just want you to know i’m here if you need anything. i... i care about you, okay?” 

your heart skipped another beat, and for a moment, everything else faded away. i care about you. 

suddenly, everything seemed clearer. but as you looked at him, you realized something—this wasn’t the same as what you had imagined. it was more. the butterflies in your stomach weren’t just from curiosity anymore. 

you swallowed hard, your throat dry. “i care about you too, matt.” 

he smiled softly, but there was something more in his eyes. something he wasn’t saying yet, but you knew it was there. and in that moment, 

everything changed. 

a/n... first fic hellooooo what are we thinkingg? send some requests please! i was literally so excited before even posting this lmfao 😭 @strnilolover <3

© PPLEASEXANNY

[possiblyunhinged]

Tommy Robinson and his ilk centring ‘women’s safety’ as part of their anti-immigration rhetoric is not only idiotic but also illogical.

I understand that men are disenfranchised. Despite a lifetime of navigating the behaviour of men, both strangers and men I know, I can still empathise with the reality that working-class men in this country have been abandoned. I'm not sure when they weren't, frankly. But in a tale as old as time, they are being told it’s immigrants to blame for that. Not billionaires. Not politicians. Immigrants.

Now... where have we heard this before in history? Hmm, if only we had a reference to this slippery slope.

Every single attack on women that makes the news seems to be a platform for them to blame immigration and fuel the notion of ‘this is what’s coming; this is what we’ve voted for.’ It doesn’t matter who the offender is; it will be assumed by these individuals that they are asylum seekers.

So, white British men aren’t predators? Or are they allowed to assault us because we’re ‘theirs’? Perhaps rape isn’t objectively bad; it’s actually subjective based on the colour of someone’s skin? When the head of the MET stated that violence against women and girls is an epidemic that should be treated with the same severity as terrorism, did he include white British men in that?

I’d like to point out that the individuals who suckle Tommy Robinson's singular brain cell also believe they are the ones who follow logic and facts. It’s quite remarkable, really, that level of delusion.

I am one of the many women who have experienced sexual violence.

I grew up in a domestic violence household. I was first groped by a stranger on a train when I was a pre-teen by a man who looked like he could be somebody’s dad. The vast majority of women in my life have a story to tell, often laced with tactics to cope with the actions that were done to them against their will. We live in a country that sees itself as ‘civilized’ and an arbiter of morality while essentially decriminalizing rape.

All the men I’ve had these experiences with were white, British men. How do I know that? Because I knew them. A large portion of sexual violence cases are committed by people the victim knows, not some bogeyman lurking in dark alleyways—men that victims know.

I was assaulted by a country pumpkin, skateboarding, floppy-haired boy who everybody thought was the nicest man on earth. Again, it is a far cry from the stereotype that the likes of Tommy Robinson paint of violent misogynists. But alas, what do I expect from men who describe British women as ‘ours’?

Move over, Simone de Beauvoir. The true feminists are in town, waving little St. George’s flags and drinking tinnies.

My white British dad was a 6’5” rugby player from Stoke who was ‘one of the boys,’ and people in his life thought he was soft as butter. He was physically violent to my mum. He completely decimated my and my brother’s right to just be children.

Two of my friends from university were raped by the same boy, who also raped other girls in our halls of residence. They managed to get the case to court, but eventually, all of them dropped out because everybody, including the police, was quick to say they were ruining the life of a white British boy with the whole world at his feet. They said it would be better just to get a restraining order—well, better for him, at least.

Would Tommy Robinson, Laurence Fox, and others feel outraged at that? Or is it different, violence towards women, if it’s from our country? Our women? Or are they doing what they accuse the left of—ignoring reality because if they were to acknowledge the complexities of the issue, it wouldn’t quite make for a hit tweet for people whose frontal lobes are made of butter?

I mean, one would imagine Robinson and co would be deeply outraged that a misogynist like Donald Trump could acquire the most powerful political position in the world once more... you know, being that they are so into women's rights and that.

This scapegoating of immigrants in a country built on immigration and, frankly, exploitation is beyond the realm of idiocy—it’s illogical. If you want to talk about the cover-ups in Rochdale, then you should also talk about the police officers who are sex offenders and are still allowed to work. You should talk about the rapists in the commons. You should talk about the systemic protection of predators in industries across the UK. You should talk about the girls in schools who are experiencing a rise in misogyny, which is being flagged by teacher's unions.

It's weird... they never mention women's rights outside of their race-baiting antics...

If they truly cared about violence against women, they’d at least acknowledge the scale of the issue and realize that misogyny is as embedded in ‘British culture’ as it is in any culture around the world. Yet again, the thin veneer of civility in this country means nothing when rapists face no consequences via the law or otherwise.

If this sounds mean-spirited, it’s because it is. I am sick to my back teeth of hearing and reading about men who perceive themselves as virtuous, failing to grasp basic points, and having vast platforms afforded to them. Meanwhile, misogyny is on the rise again. Who do people credit for this? The likes of Tommy Robinson, Andrew Tate, and others who have targeted disenfranchised, vulnerable men and directed their rage towards women and minorities.

I am an idiot, and I have had farts that speak more sense than Tommy Robinson.

[76blades]

I can no longer stay silent.

I always feel bad for venting out loud, whether it be publicly or to my Twitter circle (which I have been doing a lot lately, and I’m sorry if it’s been distressing (…my point exactly)). But things have not been ok, nor have shown any significant chances of getting better anytime soon. I know I’m gonna be beating myself up later for posting this, but I’m sick and tired and I can’t stay quiet. I’m desperate for change.

For those who don’t know, Winter’s family (and job) has been severely mentally and emotionally abusing her, and it’s not just because of her gender identity. They’ve threatened and harassed her over her showing any negative emotions, her body, her interests, the food she eats, you name it. Granted, it’s not my tale to tell, but it has been BAD as of late for her, and it definitely has affected me. I might be going through some similar stuff with my dad, but he’s nothing compared to them.

Speaking of, for those who don’t know about my dad, he’s a slightly better version of Winter’s parents; a well-intended asshole but still an asshole. He has caused me to question my sanity and safety several times, and he refuses to acknowledge my anxiety as anything serious, and believes it’s something I can easily control and/or an act I put on. He’s been trying to pull me into college even though I’ve told him several times that I don’t want to, and he’s told me several times that if I don’t follow his advice then I’m only gonna end up nowhere. He certainly doesn’t believe anything regarding Winter’s situation either, and views it all with rose-tinted glasses. 

He also demands to know my entire schedule for the week, that I laugh at his jokes or smile when I don’t want to; and he even touches my shoulders and back without my consent, and he’ll get mad when I express my discomfort. I was dreading having to move back in with him because I knew this would all be happening, only for it to be so much worse. I don’t even feel comfortable recording when he’s home because I’m afraid of him yelling and/or making fun of me. And yet, it’s funny and sad how he’s an absolute saint compared to Winter’s family.

Winter and I have been breaking our backs trying to save up for a new home, but our jobs have been cruel to us on top of our families. We’re being overworked and underpaid, and a good chunk of our paychecks goes towards food and travel expenses. And while we’ve been trying our best to push our comms, we’re still a far way from freedom.

I don’t ever want to come off as a beggar for money, attention, etc., and I feel anxious whenever I boost my comms because of that, and yet I also feel like that’s exactly what I’m doing here. But I need to be transparent with you all about my and Winter’s situation. I am truly afraid that one of might truly snap, with the little remaining of our sanity vanishing in an instant. Tbh I feel like that person is more likely to be me than her. 

Regardless, I’m unsure of what else to do right now other than to keep boosting commissions and whatnot (and I might make a Ko-Fi goal too, idk), but I want to keep finding affective (and healthy) ways to spread awareness of our situation and help bring us a few steps closer to where we want to be.

I know I’ve said that I feel like I’m waiting for a miracle that won’t come, but maybe you all could help us bring that miracle to life. Thank you all for taking time out of your day to read this and support us.

I will be attaching links to my comms and Ko-Fi, as well as Winter’s. If you have any questions or would like to consider commissioning us, feel free to DM or Email either of us.

TLDR: Winter and I are being abused. We're desperate to leave our perspective toxic environments, and we need some extra help.

My Commissions | My Ko-Fi | Winter's Commissions | Winter's Ko-Fi

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi, since you seem to be open to giving advice, i figured id try asking you. if this is an issue you cant help with, thats totally okay! thank you for reading.

so um, do you have any tips on how to get someone to take your system/plurality seriously?

i "came out" as plural to my counselor a while ago without using the specific terms, but it feels like she just isn't taking me seriously, or acknowledging that these parts are seperate pieces of me. its really frustrating, because its something she needs to understand about us... and she just isnt getting it.

again, if you cant help with this, thats fine! i just though id try. and ofc, if you need more info, i am happy to provide it.

hey, we’re really sorry to hear you’ve been dealing with someone in your life who you should be able to rely on not taking your system or plurality seriously.

we do have a post with tips and advice on “coming out” as a system to loved ones.

at this point, after you’ve already talked to your counselor about being plural, it may be a good idea to send some resources her way so she can start learning about plurality from some outside perspectives. for singlets who haven’t really heard much about plurality, it may take learning from a few resources in order for them to realize that this is a real phenomenon, and an integral part of who you are that affects every aspect of your life. we’re not sure whether or not you have a dissociative disorder, and we’ve included these links in the above post, but we’ll go ahead and add links to the articles that we (a did system) use whenever we attempt to explain our multiplicity to someone new.

^ for systems of all types

^ did/osdd specific, but still an excellent read for literally anyone

^ also did/osdd specific, but great for those who are struggling and need support from loved ones

we do hope that after sharing some resources and talking earnestly and openly about your plurality and how it impacts you, your counselor will be a bit more understanding and accommodating. however, please understand that this might not happen. sometimes singlets can be baffled, indifferent, or uncomfortable about plurality. facing something that they don’t understand may cause them to ignore it or lash out.

our system personally prefers to be ignored as a system rather than be shamed, fakeclaimed, or belittled due to our multiplicity. your system might need to have some internal conversations in order to make this call for yourselves. hopefully, your counselor will be open to learning and can start treating your system with the respect and recognition y’all deserve. but if that doesn’t happen, we hope y’all can find some validation internally and continue to learn more about each other and work together in positive ways.

sorry if this response isn’t much help, but we’re wishing y’all the best of luck with everything. and if there’s anything we can do to help y’all figure things out, don’t hesitate to reach out :)

[anthrotographer]

Challengers (2024) | A review w/ spoilers*

Tumblr is not going to like my review, I already know. I acknowledge this movie wasn't made for me, but I feel I give credit where it's due.

Last night I had a staggering movie going experience. I felt like I was being sold a lie a minute sitting through the agonizing commercials, the movie previews, and till the end of Challengers. Back to back promos for military branches, painting them as organizations of peace and innovation (a rally during war time). I understand there’s nothing new about that experience. Consumerism and propaganda tactics have a long tradition at the cinema. We’ve been advertised a false reality for so long it’s hard to think about our world without using the images fed to us to line that canvas. Take how modern horror treats rural living. It’s very common to see (in fact I saw) a movie trailer where a young couple vacations in a secluded part of the country to get away from it all. The idea of ruralism as a peaceful alternative to stressful urban living is benign and actually has some merit to think about in a country as urbanized and unhappy as ours. Yet the common movie trope is that there are evil forces lurking in the dark outskirts, that living ‘out there’ turns people into kooks or murderous cultists. One movie by itself with this premise can be harmless, but within a whole genre that trends this way it feels insidious. Almost like we are supposed to all fear each other. Challengers is another example of a genre movie that warps human reality into a lifeless opportunity to sell things. 

When a movie feels more like a commercial or a music video then why even bother with the movie going experience. The distinguishers between television and film are fading away over time. In one particularly unabashed scene we cut between three different product placements for Coke, Adidas, and the U.S. Open. It was shameless, the way Josh O’Connor was most likely told to hold that CocaCola label perfectly centered in the frame. Those three brands are far from the only ones displayed. Tennis, and sports events in general, flash a ton of advertising so I understand that the film’s stuck in that universe. Still there are ways to artfully sidestep brazen product placement. 

I don’t want to spend much time trying to analyze the relationship between Tashi, Art and Patrick. The film doesn’t give you enough about why these three are fatefully attached to each other besides vapid attractions. Yes all three are enamored by one another but what’s the motivation to stay in this toxic ménage à trois dynamic for so long? Zendaya plays Tashi, a master manipulator trying to mold her husband Art Donaldson into the star tennis player she was supposed to be before her injury. And her “little white boys” Art and Patrick feel like pawns that are content to be pawns. Men who don’t have any freewill and are solely motivated by their lust for this supermodel of a woman. In a way I don’t blame them. My disconnect comes because there’s a lack of depth with the characters and their relationships. Each of them seems to have a singular focus; Tashi wants vicarious glory through Art, Art wants to be loved, and Patrick wants Art’s life. But there is no depth to the desires. Time is never spent on why Tashi loves tennis more than people or why Art and Pat let their, supposedly strong bond, get broken so easily by a “home wrecker” that forecasted her own home wrecking. And look, as a seductive art piece it succeeds, for the most part, but as a story about real people it reduces its characters to their base desires while pretending they are complex. Maybe I don’t understand Romance—as I’ve been told. I am content to treat it as just a romantic fantasy and give it credit for being hot, but it was also a long drawn out tease. 

There was no reason for this experience to be more than two hours long! Half of it was in never ending slow-mo where I felt like the same tennis ball was being served for half an hour. The dreaded slow motion, which can be good for a sporty movie to capture athletic movements and build suspense, but here it was overused to a point where it left us thinking “get on with it already”.  Thank goodness some of my theater neighbors were also moaning about this because I felt alone, trapped in a drugged fugue state. So much of the film was disorienting. For a period you are meant to feel like a tennis ball being battered around through the camera. Editing wise this movie had the same problem that so many modern movies have; death from a thousand cuts. And the slowly unraveling chopped timeline executed so many arbitrary flashbacks and flash forwards. Eight weeks before, two days forward, then a five year flashback, all when you could tell this story sequentially with similar suspense building and less confusion. 

Seeing this movie was a spur of the moment, going in blind experience. I know now that I was not the target audience. Today I mentioned it to a friend and he ended up watching the trailer. The text I got back: “looked like a bit of a teenager movie”. I don’t mean to spoil the enjoyment for anyone with this review. From a certain angle I did have fun with Challengers. Sometimes simply devouring some eye candy is what the mood demands. 

If you found my writing at all interesting please visit and follow it on Substack!

[mxtxfanatic]

Jin Guangyao and Qin Su: A Lesson in Gaslighting

So this is one of my favorite scenes in the book on account of how absolutely unhinged it is. Jin Guangyao is someone who will go above and beyond in his commitment to the bit, using any and all means to maintain his web of lies. But his greatest weapon, by far, is his ability to gaslight via his expression and words. Upon his introduction as a character and not just conversation topic in the book, we are quickly given a confrontation between Jin Guangyao and his previously blissfully content wife, Qin Su in Chapt. 47 (exr). However, as the confrontation escalates, Jin Guangyao puts his gaslighting skills in action. When Qin Su confronts him about marrying her while knowing they are siblings, this is said:

Qin Su bursted out crying, “You’re lying! Things are already like this and you’re still lying to me—well I don’t believe it!”

Jin GuangYao sighed, “A-Su, you were the one who told me to say so. Now that I’ve said so, you refuse to believe me. This is indeed quite troubling.”

She’s made the villain by saying she doesn’t believe him. He is making her the villain by saying that he’s only telling her what “she wants” to hear, making her not believing him not because he is a career liar but because of some fault of hers. When she continues to disbelieve his lies, he pivots to telling her that her being upset is only a mind game, and that since they’ve lived so long “as husband and wife” there’s obviously no issue with the incest except what her mind makes of it, like incest isn’t a big fucking deal breaker????

Watching the ashes fall to the ground bit by bit, he spoke in a somewhat dejected tone, “A-Su, we’ve been husband and wife for so many years. We’ve always respected each other in peaceful harmony. As a husband, I’d like to think that I treat you well. The fact that you’re acting like this really hurts my feelings.”...

...Jin GuangYao, “A-Su, before you knew of it, didn’t we live perfectly fine? You only felt uncomfortable and began to vomit today, now that you know. We can see that this isn’t anything at all. It won’t be able to do any physical harm to you. Your mind is the only thing doing all this.”

And when that doesn’t work, he tries to appeal to her reputation:

Jin GuangYao, “If the person could tell you, then they can also tell other people. If they could write one letter, then they can also write a second, a third, a countless number of letters. What do you intend on doing? Allow such a thing to be leaked? A-Su, I’m begging you. Please, no matter for which feelings that have existed between us, tell me where the people mentioned in the letter are. Who was the one that told you to come back and read the letter?”

Notice that he is still attempting to appeal to her using their affection as spouses. He is refusing to acknowledge the truth of them being biological siblings so that he still has plausible deniability in case he can still convince Qin Su to believe his words over her secret informant. But this all hinges on whether or not he can weed out the informant to kill before the information becomes public, hence him subtly reminding her that if his reputation is damned for the information, hers will be too. But denying it doesn’t work, convincing her to overlook it doesn’t work, appealing to her former affections of him doesn’t work, so what’s next? Making himself the victim, of course!

A mourning warmth filled the eyes that Jin GuangYao looked at her with, “A-Su, back then, I really didn’t have another path to walk. I wanted to keep you in the dark for your whole life. I didn’t want you to know about this. Now, though, it’s been entirely ruined by the one who told you. You think that I’m dirty. You think that I’m disgusting. All of these are fine, but you’re my wife. How would others see you? How would they talk of you?”

And then we end back at a more direct appeal to reputation: “well if I’m disgusting, what will others think about you?” In an almost non-sequitur, Jin Guangyao returns to the topic of Jin Rusong, saying that the child “had to die” and subtly admitting that he likely–but always with plausible deniability–had something to do with his son-nephew’s death, causing Qin Su to slap him. Jin Guangyao immediately shuts down the conversation.

Jin GuangYao, “What are you talking about? You must be feeling quite unwell. Your father has already gone to journey and cultivate. I’ll send you off sometime soon as well, and you can enjoy being in your father’s company. Let’s finish this quickly. There’s still quite a number of guests outside. There’s still the Discussion Conference tomorrow.”

Deny, deflect, pretend that it is the other person who has lost their grip on reality, never directly admit to any accusation so that you have an out, and always, always maintain that genial smile. Poor Qin Su never stood a chance.

[beaker1636]

C is for Cyber Sex - Justin

A/N: Here is C! Without sharing spoilers I would like Justin to give Ricky a hard one to finish for D because of how this one ends and the competitiveness that the boys now have, so any suggestions I will gladly accept! Also the end of this had me giggling on the couch making my husband give me some major side eye! Sorry it is slightly shorter than the rest but it will make sense when you read it!

“Why did we agree to leave early in the morning and show up the day we perform again? This kind of sucks,” Ryan groans, “We haven’t done this shit in years.”

“Because we all wanted to be back home as soon as we could and this is the consensus we settled on, remember?” Chris asks, grabbing his suitcase from the baggage claim, getting tired of listening to Ryan and Vinny bitch about this.

“Could be worse I guess, at least we leave tomorrow morning and make it back home, that will be nice,” Justin says as he watches everyone bicker back and forth.

“Too bad for you that your letter falls for today dude, only idea that seemed to work was Cybersex which still isn’t that great but I couldn’t come up with that much you could do so far away.” Ryan shrugs, everyone making their way out to the van that was waiting for them to take them to their hotel so they can drop things off before making their way to the festival.

“You act like that isn’t something that is normal for us anyways, with our job that really isn’t that weird,” Justin says, climbing into the van to take a seat, ignoring everyone's prying eyes.  “Oh you guys can’t tell me you’ve never video called or sent stuff to your girlfriends while we have been gone, we are gone at least half the fucking year.”

“Valid point, but no actually I haven’t done anything over facetime with Lottie, seems awkward to me,” Vinny says, looking out the window.

“Dude you accidentally sexted me once, so it’s not like you are completely innocent Vin,” Rick says shuddering. “I know we’ve all changed around each other but I am fine without seeing a photo of you like that again.”

Chris nearly spits out his coffee at this revelation, finding it absolutely hilarious that Vin did that to Rick one day, laughing his ass off from his seat.

They pull up to the hotel and drop their things off, Justin winds up rooming with Chris, which he figures could be worse.  Chris usually stays pretty much in his own world so it isn’t like he is stuck with Vinny who would be up his ass after the show.

About an hour later after getting changed they all meet in the hotel lobby, ready to get going and figuring that their makeup will get done right before the meet and greet at the festival in their green room area.  

When they all arrive that is just what happens, Angela getting to work on everyone's makeup except for Justin’s, he prefers to just do it himself and enjoys changing it up at the shows depending on his mood.

They all make their way through the meet and greet, they love getting to talk with all of the fans that they can meet, find out what the band means to them and how much they are loved for what they do.  Justin unfortunately still feels out of place, being the newest member he still doesn’t get acknowledged as much as others do unfortunately but he still enjoys being there and hearing everything.

Afterwards they all sit around for a little bit until it is their turn to hit the stage, all of them making their way out to play in front of a huge crowd that is singing their hearts out and headbanging with them, all of them energized as they come back off the stage, truly loving what they get to do every day.

After leaving they all get back to the hotel, hyped up from the show.

“Hey, I heard this bar down the street has great food, do you guys want to wander down and grab dinner with me? I heard they have vegan options Chris,” Rick says, pulling his phone out to show everyone before they make their way down to their rooms to clean up themselves from the show.

“I think I will pass, I just want to chill in the room for a little bit,” Justin says, not really wanting to go out at the moment, ready to just hang out and relax for a little bit. 

Everyone else agrees to go, which he silently is happy about as that gives him his chance to be alone to do this stupid challenge with you while the others are gone, he really wasn’t looking forward to having to hide in the bathroom while Chris was out there so this gives him his shot.

On Chris’ way out he turns towards Justin, “Don’t make too much a mess when you call Vanessa.” He winks at the other man as he walks out of the hotel room to meet the others, laughing on his way out.

Justin takes a minute to relax himself before he makes a facetime request with you, smiling when he sees you pick it up.

“Hey babe, how was the show today?” You ask, smiling at him through the phone screen.

“It was great, I love being up there and seeing everyone singing along with Chris and headbanging along, it is a lot of fun.  Hey, I’m going to be straight forward because I won’t have a lot of time, Ryan gave me our letter and as expected it’s Cybersex because we are away from home.  I got lucky and Chris went out to dinner so we have a window of time where I wouldn’t have to hide in the bathroom so….” He trails off, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So what? Tell me what you want me to do baby and I’ll do it,” you respond, no hesitation as you knew this was likely going to happen and you prepared yourself for it. “Want to see what I put on for you?” you ask shyly.

“Fuck, please,” Justin groans, moving to slide the sweatpants he changed into down his legs.

You smirk and slide your tank top off, showing that you were in his favorite black set of yours, the one that really makes your boobs look amazing.  You take your time making a show of it as you prop your phone up and also slide your shorts off giving him a view of the matching panties that adorn you.

“Are you trying to kill me when I can’t touch you, fuck.” He groans out, almost instantly hard at the sight of you in his favorite through the screen. “Fuck, baby I want to see you touch yourself, pretend your fingers are mine as they slide up your thigh, teasing you.”

You do as he says, teasing yourself as you barely run your fingers up your thigh, slowly toying with the hem of your panties as you start to tease yourself.  Smiling to yourself when you see him start to palm himself in his boxers as he watches you.

“Now what do you want me to do, tell me Justin please?” You beg, loving when he leads you along and takes charge, even when it's from a distance.

“Get the dildo I got you for when I’m gone out of the drawer, I want to watch you fuck yourself baby, please?” He groans, the thought alone getting to him as he patiently watches you pull it out of the drawer.

He watches as you tease yourself for a few seconds, making sure you get yourself wet before you sink it inside of you.  The sight clearly visible to him from where you set your phone at as he watches, starting to stoke himself as he watches.

“Does that feel good baby?” he asks with a groan as you begin working it inside of you, he can see the sheen of your wetness on the toy as it goes in and out of yourself.

“Yes, but I wish it was you.  You always feel better,” you let out a moan as you finish the sentence, getting a bit rougher with yourself as you can feel your orgasm building, watching him as he strokes himself a bit quicker.

“Are you imaging that it is me pounding inside of you, fucking you deep as you clench around me? Fuck I can’t wait to get home and fuck you myself,” he watches closely, the sight of you starting to fall apart in front of him really getting to him.

He is so distracted watching you that he doesn’t hear the door to the hotel room open.

“Hey the place was closed so we…. Oh fuck, shit I’m going to go to another room, sorry” Chris stammers out when he opens the door and sees that he walked in on Justin and you taking care of yourselves on camera by himself.

The second you hear his voice you panic, yanking the toy out and pulling a blanket from your bed over yourself as you see Justin quickly shuffle to cover himself up as well.

“Fuck, I thought we would have more time.  I’m so sorry,” Justin stammers, embarrassed as he sees the look that is now on your face at the fact that Chris walked in on any of that.  “I promise my phone wasn’t in a place that was visible so he didn’t see you.”

“It’s fine, you should probably go and calm yourself down before he comes back. Text me when shit is calmed down and figure out,” you say softly, not looking at the screen out of embarrassment.

“I love you, sorry baby.” Justin says softly, feeling awful when he sees how embarrassed you are.

“Love you too,” you respond before ending the call.

Justin takes a few minutes to let his hard on go down before messaging Chris to apologize and let him know that it is safe.

No shock to Justin everyone shows up when Chris comes back, all holding back grins when they do. 

“Well we brought back some food for you from the place we stopped at instead if you want it… but I think you may be hungry for something else,” Vinny says, holding back a laugh as he teases his friend about getting caught literally with his pants down.

“Dude did either of you at least get lucky enough to finish before I got back?” Chris asks teasingly as he glances at his embarrassed friend and bandmate on the bed.

Ryan and Rick didn’t even try to hide their amusement, both laughing when Justin groans and answers no, annoyed that he not only got caught but he was also the first one to be unable to finish a letter. 

“Yeah fuck off, can you guys go away so I can just go to bed? We can finish talking in the morning about what this means but for right now I am just done with this conversation,” Justin says, glaring at his friends.

The rest of the guys leave, leaving only Justin and Chris in the room as they get ready to go to sleep for the night, both pretty quiet.

“If it makes you feel slightly better Rick walked in on Mia and I one night, so it hasn’t only happened to you,” Chris says, holding his own laugh back as he tries to make his friend feel better.

“No it does not, goodnight,” Justin says as he shuts the last lamp off, sending you several texts apologizing before he shuts his phone off and goes to sleep for the night.

[f0point5]

The problem RedBull face with their second seat is so multi faceted it’s honestly kinda crazy.

Because, as you already pointed out 2018 Max was nowhere near where he is now. So contrary to what some people might want, putting Daniel back in that seat wouldn’t have done anything really (also added to by his own decline).

Putting a junior in? We saw it with Albon and Gasly who got completely destroyed by Max. They are pretty solid now but putting a guy straight out of kindergarten next to Max is just a sure way to destroy their confidence.

Now, we have to give it to RedBull - bc some people don’t want to acknowledge this - they have genuinely tried to get other top(ish) drivers from the grid but who would want to be teammates with the guy who destroys his teammates? In his team as well.

Like, RedBull have tried multiple times to get Norris to come to RedBull to partner Max. And this was before McLaren became good! Pretty sure there was even some interest in Charles (though I doubt he’s ever gonna leave Ferrari).

And, maybe even the most important factor, you will NOT look great next to Max! You will simply not!

I distinctly remember Hamilton fans at the end of 2020/start of 2021 when Checo got signed pushing the “he’s gonna make it hard for Max, Max is finally gonna have a competitive teammate that won’t just roll over, etc.” agenda. And now 4 years later they’re saying he’s the worst driver in the history of F1.

Max is one of the greatest F1 drivers in history. That is a simple fact. You could put any driver on the current grid in the seat next to him and I don’t think any of them would beat him. Would some be close? Beat him in the occasional race? Yeah possibly but another factor that adds to all the complications is that the RedBull is not an easy car to drive.

Now, there’s many conversations already been had about whether the RedBull is made for Max or not and I really don’t want to get into it again, but matter of fact is Max can drive around issues with the car that others simply can not.

We’ve seen the big impact of this twice already in 2020 when Max was driving so well it masked problems the car had and again in 2023 when RedBull took a wrong turn with their development but didn’t notice bc Max was still dominating everything.

And really, RedBull don’t need someone who can beat Max. Just someone who can be close enough to win the constructors and be up there to help with strategy - because that was one thing we really saw this year, very other top team had both their drivers up there while RedBull had Max.

So essentially, it has to be a guy who is fast enough to be close(ish) to Max, has the mental fortitude to deal the pressure, can drive a difficult car and provide good feedback and also be able and willing to accept his number 2 role.

Yeah, good luck.

Yes there’s so many layers to the problem.

Firstly, Max is incredible. Red Bull have to design the car to the limit of what he can do which is far and beyond anyone they can get to partner him. That just is what it is. They can sacrifice performance in the hope that the second driver brings more points but look at 2023? What would have been the point in holding the car back for checo when Max can win on his own if the car is good enough?

But I think a big aspect is how much influence Max has in the team. Red Bull IS Max at this point, it has been really since 2020. They have no desire and really no benefit in going against him or anything that will upset his team. They couldn’t sign Carlos for this reason. I think part of the reason they aren’t able to bring in an established driver is because the Sainz camp or the Norris camp, for example, have their own interests, they can’t just sit there quietly and let Team Verstappen run the show…except in Red Bull they have to. Because over and above Christian who is just trying to get results so needs Max, he’s so deeply entrenched in that team you’ll get no ground trying to rattle him. So I do think from the outside it’s not an attractive prospect.

And then there’s the fact that it’s career killing to be obliterated by Max. Even not for rookies but for someone like Oscar, who is young enough to not need to be good, he can’t afford to be dog walked like everyone else has been.

It’s a problem they can’t really solve. A competent driver won’t want to come to red bull and cycling through incompetent drivers is wasting talent

[twistedtummies2]

Fifteen Days of Disney Magic - Number 10

Welcome to Fifteen Days of Disney Magic! In honor of the company’s 100th Anniversary, I am counting down my Top 15 Favorite Movies from Walt Disney Animation Studios! We’ve reached the Top 10! Today’s entry truly never gets old. Number 10 is…Peter Pan.

Okay, let’s get the elephant out of the room immediately…no, some parts of this film (I think a lot of you will know which ones) have NOT aged well. It was made primarily for children in the 1950s, with development reaching as far back as the late 1930s, and certain elements are clearly a product of their time. I acknowledge this, and how it was as wrong then as it is wrong now. I concede it’s an issue for at least some (if not, indeed, many) modern audiences. If those elements or any others bother you for any reason – and I imagine they probably bother a LOT of people – I won’t pretend like you don’t have justifiable grounds for disliking the film as a result. With that said…I freaking love this movie, despite those issues, and that is the hill I choose to die on.

While I don’t know if Disney’s Peter Pan is the BEST interpretation of J.M. Barrie’s classic fantasy adventure, it’s certainly one of my top three favorites. (The other two are the 2003 film, and the musical that originally starred Mary Martin…also, no, I’m NOT counting “Hook" there, because “Hook” is a sequel, not a direct adaptation or reimagining.) When I think of the character of Peter Pan himself, it’s Disney’s version that most immediately comes to mind. The same can be said for many of the other characters, such as Smee, the Darling Children, and Tinker Bell…in fact, I think the only exceptions to this rule are Captain Hook himself (and he’s certainly not a version I dislike; easily in my top three takes on the character, as well as one of my Top 5 Disney Villains of all time), the Mermaids (who have so little to do with anything it hardly matters), and the Native American characters, who...I'm not going to touch here with a ten foot pole. 'XD I think it’s my passion for the story itself, and the fact the film introduced me to it, that helps make this such a major favorite for me. It also has the advantage that, like “Fun and Fancy Free” and “The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad,” it was one of the first Disney movies I ever owned, and I watched it over and over again. In fact, I think I saw it perhaps more than any of the others I had on VHS. Something about Peter Pan just spoke to me as a kid, and still speaks to me as an adult. I loved its sense of cartoonish comedy, I loved its spirit of swashbuckling action and adventure, and I loved how it had this sort of strange edge of something unsettling under its colorful exterior. Hook is a funny villain in a lot of ways, but he’s also a murderous psychopath who’ll kill and betray you at the drop of a hat. Peter is, in some ways, who we all wish we could be, but he’s also brash, cocky, and not exactly the most likeable protagonist…and then he’ll turn right around and do or say something that makes you like him all over again. While one could say the film really only covers the superficial elements of Barrie’s darker and more psychological story, it does brush on those deeper layers in some interesting ways, and still makes the ride enjoyable all the way through. This is possibly one of the single most merchandised and frequently referred to films in the entire Disney canon. There’s a preschoolers-aimed TV show, a whole spin-off franchise about the fairies, books, plays, a sequel film that was actually brought to theaters (and, in my opinion, while flawed it is actually not really bad; rare for Disney sequels), and numerous appearances by the characters in various other properties and attractions. It’s one of those stories and worlds that seems impossible to mine dry, and I think that also may be part of why it appeals to me. I was actually fully primed and ready to place this one in 8th place, at the top of the heap of the four films in the stretch between 11th and 8th...but after revisiting it, I found it lacked some of the punch the two films above it had. But hey, Top 10 isn't too bad, right? The countdown continues tomorrow with my 9th Favorite Disney Movie! HINT: If You Were Hoping It Would Be Here, Wish Granted!

[anotherkinnity]

Hey so I've had a peak at the inside of your server and the discussion of psychological alterhumans. I see that you edited one of your posts to say you're specifically open to spiritual alterhumans, but all of your other posts and even your bio still say it's open to all alterhumans. It's strange when a lot of members within your server talk about psychological alterhumans as if they're somehow not as valid as spiritual alterhumans, going so far to call them "kinnies". I don't think that behavior should be perpetuated.

I also noticed that when you edited that post, you edited out the word "serious" and replaced it with "spiritual". Was just really interesting to me after hearing some of the experiences from inside the server and seeing how members and staff talk about psychological alterhumans, talking about therians on TikTok calling them "KFF" or calling them fake, or even eluding to the mindset that all psychological alterhumans are somehow delusional and painting actual delusional folks as if they're bad.

I might be wrong about some things here, but definitely not all of them. If your server is exclusive to spiritual alterhumans, make that more clear, but it doesn't give you the go ahead to talk about psychological and delusional alterhumans in a bad light.

Hello! We are currently in a transitional phase to move from a server for all alterhumans to a server based in spiritual alterhumanity. As most of the staff are adults with jobs or in college, we may not have had time to fully update our advertisements and rules everywhere. Thanks for the heads up - we will make sure our verbiage everywhere reflects this. As for old posts others have reblogged, we unfortunately cannot edit those.

We do believe psychological alterhumans are valid! The issue comes when people have conflated psychological kin with things like copinglinks, cameo shifts, or flickers. We believe that words have meaning, and being kin means to identify as something, not with. People have asked if they can join mem jams with no memories, just to discuss fandom, or cut off conversations about identity to say they only find their kins relatable and nothing else. As for the use of the term “kinnies,” we use this term to refer to anyone, including ourselves. We are aware of the terms origins but prefer to both reclaim it and use it as shorthand, and it has not been used derogatorily.

As far as tiktok therians go, the discussion in question was centered around people claiming therian identity while only identifying furries or quadrobics enthusiasts. We believe conflating a genuine community like therians with a hobby is wrong and waters down the whole community.

Lastly, our server is for alterhumanity, not mental health. We are not equipped to help someone through a delusion, nor do we plan to encourage them. The point of a delusion is that it’s an aspect of psychosis that actively causes harm to the person believing it. That’s the difference between delusion and a personal belief. Additionally, many of the members here have been called delusional for our spiritual beliefs in other places, and would rather have a space to discuss our beliefs freely without them being medicalized as such. The IRL community is notorious as a whole for taking historically kin terminology and saying kin aren’t allowed to use them. They have also claimed kin can’t have memories or are only relating to their kintypes. We prefer to distance ourselves from people like this that refuse to acknowledge the past significance of terms and experiences in a community.

In short, we found people decide to misuse and abuse our welcoming of “serious” alterhumans and have narrowed the scope of the server to reduce stress on both staff and members. We aren’t saying serious psychological kin don’t exist, but rather that we don’t have the bandwidth to question every new member on basic definitions that we’ve seen get misused frequently.

-warren

[erraticopeninghours]

Crowley and Aziraphale's Argument #1

Thoughts on 1.11: Crowley and Aziraphale’s argument 

I know that European countries tend to be small, and Britain is also small, but in my mind, Dartmoor is not that far away from London! 

If something terrible is going to happen to Gabriel, driving him up to Dartmoor does not seem like a very effective solution. 

(I also wasn’t sure if it was going to come up or not, but Dartmoor always reminds me of The Hound of the Baskervilles, so I was on the lookout for that throughout the rest of the season.  *ACD Sherlock spoilers ahead* Nothing huge came to mind, but I would like to point out that The Hound was the first story published after The Final Problem, so it was almost like getting a Season 2 for a novel published in 1990.  And just the fact that The Hound is not the problem/antagonist of the story, but other people are!  Which isn’t exactly a parallel, but I feel like matches this season if you squint!  Because in the end, the main problem / conflict is not the dangers posed by Heaven and Hell;  it’s the effects and costs of connections, of relationships between people: Beelzebub and Gabriel, Nina and Maggie, and - of course - Crowley and Aziraphale!) 

I know it comes up repeatedly throughout the season, but I adore how much of an issue Crowley takes with Gabriel’s attempted murder / execution of Aziraphale! 

I also don’t have anything new to add, but the “carved it out for ourselves” line! GAH! 

Also, the whole bit about the “exactlies.”  Even when they’re arguing and the stakes are relatively high, they are both such dorks, and I love that about them.  It is a fantastic demonstration of their mutual incompetence. 

I would also like to recognize Aziraphale’s character growth, even if he may or may not revert to other strategies later.  (Progress is not linear!)  I am so proud of him for being so direct in what he wanted and in explicitly asking for Crowley’s help (with the acknowledgment that Crowley - at least, theoretically - can say no.)  Like, “you're at liberty to go,” “No, I would love you to help me,” “I’m asking you to help me take care of him,” But if you won’t, you won’t.”  I’m not saying that Aziraphale was not still angling for what he wanted / trying to persuade Crowley to see things his way, but I do feel like this is a lot more direct than what we’ve heard from Aziraphale in Season 1 and the Lockdown video. 

“You’re on your own” was so painful, even though I didn’t expect it to last long.  (But I also didn’t expect the end of Season 2…) It reminded me of “we’re on our own side” which Crowley technically says in the preceding episode.  And like, yes, the precious, peaceful, fragile existence is important and, dare I say, nice.  But what about Our Side? 

Lastly, I would like to point out that when Crowley was faced with a similar situation, he did not abandon the loosely innocent and helpless being his side fobbed off to him.  When Hell gave Crowley the Antichrist, he thought about simply tossing “the basket” away, but he didn't.  And some of that was because he was still officially working for Hell and hadn’t semi-retired yet, but I also believe that a good part of that was because Crowley is firmly against killing kids (human, quasi-human, or goat.)  Instead, Crowley hatched a scheme that involved him and Aziraphale watching over the Antichrist as godfathers while they both knew that the fate of the entire world (in theory) depended on their success and that failure would mean an end to their current versions of existence.  They had less knowledge about the terrible thing that could happen to Gabriel, but I feel like there is precedence for Aziraphale's attempt to convince Crowley to help this random, not entirely welcome being together as they desperately work to prevent future Bad Things from occurring. 

(previous) (next)

[beethebisblog]

I had to watch the episode in short bursts, because people kept needing me for things.

I’m gonna ramble about everything that happened for each character but first I just want to say that I loved hearing more of Tricia’s singing voice this episode, she has been underutilized so far.

-Susan

At the beginning of the show, Susan was very quickly cast as the pretty but mean popular girl jealous that her ex-boyfriend moved on. Then slowly, they did this thing that I REALLY love, where they gave her more depth, more complexity, and more dimension. They have shown us perfect Susan who works hard to maintain the status quo and please her mother (who is encouraging unhealthy relationships with food and slutshaming her daughter, seriously Mrs. St Clair can suck a rock). And now they’ve shown us another level to Susan, acknowledging that rich white families will ALWAYS do whatever it takes to protect their reputations. Her mother holds this over her head, but it was clearly a very traumatic, very difficult thing for her to do in secret without the support of anyone. Sure her parents made it so that she could get the abortion, but based on how we’ve seen her mother treat her, we know Susan doesn’t get any real support and it makes her actions that much more heartbreaking. When she tries to stand up to her mother, and Olivia (who is neither right nor wrong in her reactions) doesn’t want to believe she’s changed, you can see that she accepts that. It isn’t until Olivia is a steps a little too over the line that she reveals the truth about what she witnessed. Susan is 16-17 and she’s hurt and she’s scared and she’s sad and I love her.

-Dot

I don’t have much to say on her, except that she really is a sweetheart who deserves better friends. Honestly, sometimes a pity date with the bad boy of the school is way better than sitting there alone while your friends all have dates. She’s so cute. Her poor nose and eye :(

-Hazel & Wally

Doing them together because they were together in all of their scenes. Hazel was giving Cinderella vibes. I appreciate the fact that while Wally doesn’t understand some of her Hazel-ness, he really seems genuinely interested in learning about her interests and getting her to at least attempt to enjoy his too. I loved their duet. I love that during the utter chaos that was the rest of the episode, they got to be in their little bubble where everyone pointed out that they are seemingly perfect for one another. I don’t normally trust media when it says stuff like that, but I actually really like them together.

-Nancy

I love her so so so much. It’s entirely relatable the way a crush can feel all consuming and irritating all at once. Her (and Cynthia’s) song was very much a highlight of the episode. I love that Nancy is just an all in type of person and she doesn’t really stop to hear a no for the answer. I do wish they would give her a little more depth. They’ve done a good job with Susan and Jane and Olivia and Richie and Buddy. All we really know about Nancy is that she is incredibly headstrong, a very talented seamstress/ designer, the daughter of the owners of the frosty palace who may or may not be an only child, a Buddhist who’s not a fan of reading, “scary” and although she hasn’t had much of a romantic life in the past, she has a big crush on Potato. Which is valid, because he‘s great. But still, I want to see a new dimension of Nancy with this new conflict within the Pink Ladies.

-Cynthia

She is in the “shit I am gay but no one can know, especially not the person who made me realize it’s true” phase where she fights it HARD. Compulsive heterosexuality hurts. She needs someone to talk to, before she implodes further. That moment with Lydia made me so so sad, but that’s just a real part of quiet culture for someone. Cynthia is hurting, and that doesn’t give her a free pass to hurt Shy Guy like she did, but I understand it. She’s gonna have to apologize bug time, when she comes around. Also, as always, I loved Ari’s part in the duet.

-Olivia

I’ve decided that if her and Richie are twins, she’s the older one for sure. The ages are so hazy, or at least their grade levels, and I’m kinda confused. So my head cannon is that she’s the older twin. Which would explain her protectiveness over the Pink Ladies, without factoring in the slightly homosexual overtures to hers and Jane’s friendship that is not present with the other PLs. Olivia hates Susan, and she does have reason for it. But that really doesn’t explain why she wouldn’t let Jane explain. Because people can change, and they can learn. But Olivia does NOT have forgive Susan, but she should’ve given her so-called best friend a chance to explain. No matter what Susan said, Olivia had NO right to do what she did. She knows what the school is like once they realize you are a “slut” and she knew that the consequences always land on the girl (does she not remember the extent of the conversation at Dot’s party??). Sorry that just made me so mad. And then to tell Richie what happened between Buddy and Jane :/Her moments with Gil were really sweet. But her going back to her abuser does not send a good message at all and I hope this is addressed before the season is over.

-Jane

She did the right thing not going with either guy to the dance. She was unsure of her feelings for either and did not want to lead them on or hurt them by choosing too soon, and that was a mature decision. Her budding friendship with Susan is interesting and kind of ironic. Her accidentally confirming Olivia and Mr. Daniels is unfortunate, but also something that would reasonably happen to me because I am bad at de-escalation techniques. Jane is very much people pleaser, even after everything, so it makes sense that she would sort of defend Susan. Her coming home to Olivia’s jacket already on her porch (which like, hello Flash because how did she get there before Jane) was almost the opposite of the scene where Olivia brings Jane’s jacket to her house. She did not even really register what Richie told her about Buddy and the election results (which like, how did he find out?)

-Richie

He is a good guy. He respects Jane’s space; he saw that Dot was devastated about her going dateless to the dance (which also sorta implies she’s never been if they previously had to have a date to register a ticket and she said her friends always had dates but not her). He was very kind to go with her, and go along with her quirks. Teenage jealously makes a person unsteady, and I am just glad someone told Jane the truth about Dick Aldridge.

-Buddy

I am still not his biggest fan, but man was he sad this episode. It seems like everyone is moving forward except him, which is expected when you realize most of your life is a lie. He needs a slap in the face and a hug.

-The others (Shy Guy, Potato, Mr. Daniels)

As for the rest: Potato remains one of my top guys; Shy Guy and Cynthia in the kitchen actually made me cringe because I know she feels nothing what he feels for her; and the predator needs to be imprisoned. I can’t believe he is trying to suck her back in :(

I need my girls back together. I need some proper communication to happen between Lydia and Cynthia.

Also episode 8 comes out the day before my birthday so I hope it’s a good one (they have not let me down so far).

[danbisroom]

Ep. 20 - Let’s Run Together, I’ll Be Your Oasis

Hello my beloved fellow souls,

welcome back to Danbi’s Room, your weekly dose of safe space. Go grab a cup of something warm and get yourself cosy.

I hope you’ve been well. I’m really sorry for my repeated and lengthy absence. In the past few weeks my life has shape-shifted quite a bit and my Sundays have been pretty hectic. I wasn’t in the mindset to hold safe space for you guys so I just went on a break. Now I am definitely on the way to be back on track, and I totally am on this platform, but with a slight change: Danbi’s Room is going to be moved permanently to Mondays. There are two main reasons for this decision: it’s easier for me to be consistent given my weekly routine; secondly, after all, Sunday is still Chan’s Room day, and in hopefully manifesting it will come back someday, I prefer switching to Monday. Maybe is out of respect, or also to differentiate, I don’t know, I’m just following my guts.

So, how have you felt the energies of this Solstice? It’s been two weeks now, so we’ve fully settled into the new season. The Sun is waning in the Boreal Emisphere and waxing in the Austral Emisphere. It’s a time of great changes and I hope you can welcome them all. We have a lot of resistances inside of us. I’m not talking about being strong and resilient, that’s always positive. What I’m referring to is everything which is frozen and tense in our heart: we’re immensely hurt by all of that, yet it is often too hard to acknowledge those wounds in the first place. Let alone loving them. Even more difficult to let them go. Or, better, to untangle them, to untie all of those knots. We’ve grown morbidly attached to these lumps and we’re terrified of letting them loose. What is going to happen? Will we be swept away by the avalanche of awareness the knots were safely holding in walls? We’re numb even to the physical pain at this point. It hurts but we quickly turn our attention away from the blades and the thorns tormenting our muscles, forcing them to an extreme, unnatural tension. I know, everything and anything might happen and that is far beyond terrifying. But I believe there’s a detail that might make it a bit more bearable. We automatically assume we’d have to let go of literally everything, leave all behind, untie all the knots at the same time and come out as a complete new and different person.

Pause.

Why the hell would you do that?

First and foremost, everybody has their own pace and they’re all equally valid. There’s no such a thing as the “right” pace. Even if you run slowly it’s fine. If you crawl it’s fine. If you’re still it’s fine. If you’re stuck it’s fine. This things all have their place in our personal paths. Most importantly, we’re still ourselves. We change, we shift, we find out new things and we rediscover others but it still us. And as diverse as the outcomes can be our steps are still all consequential. Even if we leap over a chasm, that leap is still after the step before. We can’t go and erase something just because. That’s unrealistic and noxious. Everybody has their own particular story. This means that there is a false narrative we can get rid of and we can be able to embrace the fact that we don’t have to abandon our post for something new. We have two hands: we can grab the new while still gently holding the old until we’re able to dance all together in a circle where we become all the same as one. The blur leaves space to the appearance of the oasis, oxygen comes back to our tired lungs and the going in and out, back and forth, inspiring and exhaling, composes a new melody. We go into each other’s heart to warm it up so it doesn’t ache anymore. And since we share the same dreams, if you’re tired, let me be your respirator.

Today’s song recommendation is Respirator by Han and Seungmin. It is about pain that takes your breath away, but that can be overcome together.

I hope you enjoyed this episode and that you have a beautiful week ahead of you!

I’ll see you in the next one, big hug!

With love, yours,

Danbi

[sapphic-sustrai]

This is something that I think the T/aiyang fanbase & the F/DMN at large really needs to hear… T/aiyang is not this “perfect dad”, in reality he’s an incredibly flawed one.

Before anyone decides to twist my words, no I’m not saying that T/ai is on the same level as J/acques or M/arcus far from it. What I’m saying is that T/ai has made a lot of poor choices as a parent that have negatively impacted his children, with Y/ang being the biggest example of this {I’m not in any way saying that R/uby hasn’t been affected, it’s just that we’ve seen more examples of this with Y/ang}.

I don’t want anyone to try and come at me with the excuse of “but he was depressed & grieving”. Yes, T/ai is allowed to grieve and it’s understandable that he’d be depressed during this time. That being said, he still had young children that needed to be taken care of and he neglected them. Mental illness isn’t an excuse for being neglectful, he could’ve at least asked for help in looking after the kids if he knew that he couldn’t. But he doesn’t and because of his inaction, Y/ang had to raise herself and step up to become a parental figure to her younger sister at a very young age. How is this in any way fair to Y/ang? She was just a child, she shouldn’t have had to pick up the slack for her adult father as a parent. It’s his job to raise his kids, not his eldest child’s.

To the T/ai fans out there, this isn’t me just “dunking on your fave/one of your fave characters.” The criticism I’m giving him is rightfully deserved and can be proven with evidence. Look you can like a character, while also still acknowledging their flaws. I’m not saying that you can’t like T/ai anymore, you just need to acknowledge that he’s not a “perfect dad”. You can’t take every criticism that’s being directed at your fave as an attack, whether you like it or not people have every right to criticize T/ai’s character.

TLDR: T/aiyang is a flawed parent who’s inaction has negatively affected his children in the long run, people have every right to point this out/criticize him and this isn’t an attack on your fave character so you have no right to be a huge jerkass towards them just because you don’t like what they said.

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine