#this isnt specific to one continuity but ive noticed this

[gillywillys]

I love how Starscream is trusted with so many people in alt mode, like most murderous and backstabbing bitch you know is also the one who holds and uses you during battle. if your alt mode needs to be hand held your going to him at some point.

[toutallyahoe]

━ pretty,, nsfw headcanons

requested by: @imnotyoursocialbee pairing(s): miko chen x male reader word count: 2398 (woof, what a count) warnings: nsfw, 18+ only, unprotected sex, praise kink, subspace (implied), belly bulge, masturbation, sex toys, dacryphilia, corruption kink (?), exhibitionism, feminization, pet names (pretty girl, princess), humiliation kink

a/n: *giggles* so, im still here... uhh... hi?

anyways uhhhh, ngl this is a bit long because this bitch was like one of baby tou's cartoon crushes (the other is his whore of a bestie lol)

and woof, ive been holding on to these headcanons for a fucking while now specifically years lol

also wrote this in one sitting in four hours, its two a.m. and my ass is fucking numb help

- miko chen is pretty vanilla. well, the right word would be tame— tamer than his best friend, twisting tiger, that is. so while miko prefers it to be soft sex for the most part, especially pretty early on in the relationship. but he has no objection to trying out things if you suggest something up

- miko is innocent but not that innocent, you know? he is an attractive guy and has a great muscular build because he has to keep fit for his job as a football player. he and the rest of nakama continue to practice martial arts on top of that as well he does yoga as a hobby. so, miko has a nice body and you just have to constantly tell him so

- it isnt a surprise miko developed a praise kink because of that

- of course, hearing you compliment him? praising how attractive or pretty he was and his body? it was making the poor man melt. especially if you just abuse his praise kink as you fuck him hard and good against the mattress (or any surface for that matter)

- addition to just verbally praising miko, its also best if you praise him physically— and by that i mean touching him all over. dont stop touching him as you continue to sing praises about how pretty he was and the noises he makes because miko is just a sucker for physical contact

- and miko has the cutest noises ever

- poor dear would try to hide his noises because he gets embarrassed, so you have to coerce him to stop holding it in and just let it out. of course it works more better if you keep ramming your cock into him as you say so because as you continue, miko just loses all sense of thought

- miko also loses his brain cells and goes head empty if he notices or you bringing up the bulge on his stomach because of your cock

- miko would be so embarrassed each time you comment about the way your cock bulges in his belly that he tries to hide his face in his hands

- you have to try and coerce him to look and with a few more coercion, miko prettily moans as he hesitantly does look and god, the poor man is very flustered

- he is always surprised to see his belly bulging every damn time because of you

- and btw, you better fuck his thighs. miko's thighs are thick and wonderful. this man has one of the loveliest thighs ever so when you are finished ruining his hole and the poor dear is trying to gather his bearings? press his thighs together and slide your cock between them, miko is just going to let out a tired chuckle as you slowly fuck his wonderful thighs

- anyways, miko has some toys. not a lot but he does have like a dildo and a small egg/bullet vibrator due to his curiosity before you two are together and he just wants to get off, okay?

- funny thing was that before the relationship with you, miko was such a fucking virgin. like, he knows about porn and had watched some to get off but god this man was so clueless about a lot of things. and the porn he watched were like the very tame and vanilla ones too

- so when miko bought toys to test out, god this poor man is a mess. especially with the lil vibrator because when miko tested it out and masturbated by having it inside him as it vibrates while he jerks off until he cums. when he was finished and when miko was trying to take it out inside of him, he pushed it in deeper instead... and it was still vibrating

- let me tell you, miko had trouble trying to get the vibrator out of him because poor dear was overwhelmed from his masturbation already and as he tries to get it out, he accidentally keeps pushing it in as it vibrates. and miko had the dumb idea earlier to put it in a high-vibration level

- miko was practically writhing and drooling. he had been looking for the remote of the vibrator but due to his panic earlier about the position he was in, man has lost it momentarily

- miko had to call you as a resort to ask for help as he had found his phone instead

- you had thought something was very wrong when miko called you and his voice was shaky and he seemed like he was crying. your worries only worsened when he told you to come to his apartment as fast as possible because he needs help and then just hang up

- you did not fucking expect to arrive in his apartment (using the key he had given you a while back to unlock the door) and find poor miko to be an absolute mess in his room

- miko was almost naked if not for the shirt he was wearing that hid his chest, (un)fortunately his bottom half wasnt covered and from how he was positioned in his bed? it was a pretty sight

- miko was on his belly while his ass is up, hands clenching on the sheets of the bed. his thighs were shaking and from the very damp spot on his sheets and his red aching cock, he had been cumming for a while

- miko can barely look at you in the eye as he begs for you to find the remote or get the damn vibrator out of him because he cant do it himself

- it was very awkward and embarrassing for the both of you when you had to help out. especially when you cant find the remote and miko had to beg for you to just take out the damn vibrator

- it was very unbearable for the both of you

- miko had placed himself on your lap as you helped. he was already sensitive and with the way you try your best to fish out the vibrator with your fingers (that you lubed up earlier with the same lube miko used that you found in his nightstand) but accidentally pushing the vibrator yourself, miko got more overwhelmed

- especially the soft whispers of your apologies that honestly made miko just slowly lose it for you being there. close to him

- by the time you got the vibrator out, miko was a panting and sensitive mess that slumped on your chest as he hid his face in the crook of your neck from embarrassment. weak thank yous leaving his lips as you just dont know what to do next

- to say the least, you two were very awkward after that because miko just... that happened to him and it was hard for you upon having to see your close friend in that light and the uncomfortable tightness in your pants. you had to excuse yourself from miko's hold and go to the bathroom to force yourself to stop being hard as you wash your hands and splash your face in the sink

- it was very awkward for a while between you too

- but that didnt stop you two from hooking up tho because after that happened, might as well because miko had liked you for a while and you saw him be a fucking pathetic mess? yeah, just, yup

- after you two be awkward for weeks, that is

- ngl, miko doesnt know if what happened with the vibrator was a blessing or not because it did lead to you two hooking up eventually. but dont expect him to masturbate with toys for a while

- but anyways, aside from the saga of miko having trouble with a vibrator and what happens in closed doors. fucking outside? now thats fun

- miko has his reserves on it because it can absolutely ruin his reputation as a famous football player, you know?

- but miko also cant help but get excited at the thought of fucking in a public space as he had done before by touching himself at the thought of you in his assigned room and desperately trying to muffle his moans

- now you might ask, how can that be risky when miko is in his room? well, it just so happens its walls were shoji due to the team staying in a hotel following traditional japanese architecture

- and miko just so happens got hot and bothered seeing you in practice earlier, sweating and such. this was before the vibrator problem btw, but yeah

- and going to say this but miko acts like a fucking virgin a lot even when you two have sex multiple times now. baby is so innocent

- but not that innocent. especially after these last few ones

- anyways, aside from that, miko doesnt mind wearing pretty clothes. i mean, he was attractive and practically a celebrity, so it wasnt a surprised that miko would try to look his best

- especially for you

- but oh no, when i say he doesnt mind dressing up in pretty clothes, i meant pretty feminine clothes

- specifically miko can rock the e-girls and gothic style

- miko looks so cute and pretty in them. especially when he wears pretty lil skirts and thigh highs (or fishnets) while pairing those said thigh highs with those cute lil thigh garter straps. it looks so beautiful around that pale skin of his and god, the slight fat in his thighs just makes it lovely when he wore those

- it wasnt a surprise when miko had worn a cute skirt and thigh highs after one of your joking suggestions because you told him he would look so pretty as a girl— miko was overwhelmed with so many sweet compliments that led to you two fucking while miko was still wearing his lil skirt. and the thigh-highs are always on

- and if you have to fuck his thighs, just roll it all a lil more down to have more access to those thighs of his

- but god, it wasnt a surprise when miko got over his shy virgin act after a while from all the horny fucking and had let you fuck him in public (and not just him masturbating a lil risky with paper-thin walls of a hotel room with someone passing by his room) with only small hesitation on the scenario he got recognized and create a scandal

- and its because baby boi here was wearing such cute feminine clothes and a mask. miko easily passed as a girl in his clothes and with his hair being long and half of his face hidden by a mask? you were the only one who knew the identity of the pretty lil thing pressed so close to you when both of you were on the train

- this wasnt planned tbf as you two were actually just going on a fun and cute date but miko just looks so pretty and he was also so close to you that you cant help yourself and it was also heaven sent you two were pushed up against the other side of the train doors that wont be opening for a long while

- after asking miko's consent in a quiet voice so that only he can hear you, miko was against it at first because he was terrified about you two getting caught but looking around and see people minding their own business in this cramp train and with the way you were pressed against his back? miko agreed with hot cheeks

- it was honestly easy to fuck miko when he was close to you and he was wearing a short skirt. you had pushed yourself closer to miko and had wrapped an arm around miko's waist while your other hand sneakily went behind and had slipped inside his skirt, toying with the panties he wore mindlessly as you whisper how much he was such a pretty girl

- it wasnt long before you had sneakily unzipped your pants and took your painfully hard cock and slowly entered miko, minding how you dont have lube to make sliding inside him easier. but it was fine because after a while of the two of you biting back the groan and moan leaving your lips and miko adjusting, you began to move

- miko was desperately trying so hard not to blow both of your covers from his moaning. there was some regret in miko for a moment as despite him not typically loud (that award goes to tiger between the two) but it was hard not to be vocal. not when your cock feels so good inside him, filling him up so well

- miko didnt expect to get off a lot on getting fucked in public if he had to be honest. it was so risky on what you two were doing... but it got miko so excited

- still, he is trying his best to keep his noises which was very hard when you keep whispering praises in his ear and holding him more closer

- of course, it wont be smooth sailing here before both of you had finished and arrived at your stop because when you accidentally thrust hard that made miko let out a squeak, it got some attention and one passenger didnt let it go unlike the others who minded their own business once again

- miko was clenching so tightly around your cock as you coerced your lil princess to answer for the both of you on the stranger's question. miko was practically begging silently at you to answer it yourself as he shook in your hold. tears were forming in the corner of miko's eyes as his heart was beating faster at the fear and... excitement...?

- miko doesnt know, either way, he was fucking terrified and didnt think he can find his voice at all. so he was shaking his head to indicate he didnt wanna answer and hoped you understand the position he was in and save both of your asses by answering the stranger yourself

- unfortunately you wouldnt let it be easy and miko realized it when he saw the smile on your lips in the reflection of the train window

- "princess? a kind stranger was asking if you are fine"

- miko silently cried when you pushed your cock deeper into him. his hole clenched deliciously around your cock

- "wont you answer them?"

- "y-yes... thank you..."

[cerealmonster15]

twst sims.. some pics i took with my phone while i was playing with no internet yesteday lol...

silver called to let kalim know that he is dating cater, which isnt new info but it's still cute bc kalim was SO excited about it 😭

now that ive got them all to be spellcasters ive started getting random calls for duels, kalim challenging floyd was my first one

i accidentally had azul hit on the spellcasting teacher bc i didnt remember that an enchanting introduction was considered romantic lol. i had him ask to be just friends right after and the teacher was Unhappy... i think i had azul find someone else to turn him into a caster after that lol

riddle is interested in char [twst oc] and then got challenged by FLOYD to a duel. riddle lost LOL. i think i had riddle challenge him to a heated duel later and he lost again ksdfjskdl these boys arent very skilled yet or whatever

OH omg and then up there in the attic of diasomniawe had a bit of a kerfuffle. sort of? you can see the awkward encounter with an embarrassed jamil at the top there. i think what was happening was silver and sebek both had wants to smooch cater and jamil respectively, so i was like yeah whatever okay and invited them over to get it done. but then i think i got distracted for a sec and they were wandering all over the house and i had to keep trying to send them after each other - i'm not sure how it ended up here but silver fell asleep(lol), cater played chess with malleus, jamil wandered up there and i think i sent sebek after him to try and flirt w/him but jamil was already in a group convo w/the others, and they always get weird about flirting in groups lol -> it ALSO i believe led to sebek activating a small romance relationship with cater in the process. my boy was caught in the crossfires lol.

sebek had his first kiss and considered proposing marriage to jamil right after

i noticed idia and lilia were not only not friends but had a tiny bit of red relationship so i had to QUICKLY FIX THAT by having them chat a bunch on the computer as they were meant to be :] bffs... and then idia called lilia to let him know that hes friends with riddle which i just thought was so funny, both to say out of the blue and bc specifically it's Idia And Riddle who have like. a mutual hater bond going w/each other in twst fklshfslk

ok now im playing at my computer again.... im in the shroud house bc there was something i wanted to do here but i forget what... maybe i just wanted to build idias handiness skill lol

OH JUMPSCARE i forgot kalim and idia started dating offscreen lol. sorry idia that pizza you ordered and shower upgrade you started will have to wait

it's off to a terrible start bc idia decided to begin by scaring kalim twice in a row and kalim hated it both times

WAIT STOP THE PRESSES MALLEUS AND NEIGE ARE HERE TOO 👀 last ive checked theyre exes so ive gotta watch what they do

they sat down to have a chat and azul showed up and is grooving behind them... they got up and moved to another table jfsdklfhs but then malleus got up and started dancing while neige just stayed seated to talk to him lol. idia wanted a drink so i had him go buy some for him and kalim, but kalims still feeling embarrassed from i guess the double scare :')

AND THEN IDIA INSULTED HIM. DUDE. im mostly letting them do their own thing aside from fulfilling the wants to have drinks while theyre here but oh my goddd idia you are so bad at this lol 😭 this feels... in character,,,

i dont think they r going to last. idia went to go nap on a bench right after this lol

malleus neige and azul are dancing

DSJLKBLFKJDKFH they broke up right after yea h g sdjfkl. idia go home and think about what youve done!!!

i also got keith and ortho to meet at school now that theyre both kids lol so they can be bffs... and since i made shroud house a cat hangout a lot of cats just come inside and lay around everywhere lol

WFHJKSDJFKLDS JUMPSCARE!!! THE SILCAY SAGA CONTINUES OMG...

god i told him to decide for himself and he got so dramatic about it lol but that feels pretty in character. it's okay tho cater and him are still... . friends and also lovers but not official parters

WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S NOT YOURS!!!! lol they have 1 cat but these random strays come in and use his shit!!!

well hopefully this goes better than the date with kalim lol. i had idia in the middle of a game tournament and i know the real idia would NEVER ditch mid game session to SOCIALIZE.... but thats just too bad. im kicking u out of the house idia go be with your boy.

i missed the screenshot but so far it's going much better sdlkhfjds cater blew a KISS to him and idia keeps checking in on cater lol. so far nothing mean... yet...

OH NO

okay at least that didnt end their romance but it did go down a bit omg... this is what i get for leaving it into idias hands lol i will have to INTERVENE next time...

when he got home lilia was just randomly standing outside [i redid some of lilias clothes last time i played diasomnia cause i kinda hated a lot of how i did his initially lol] they hung out and played chess and talked about video games

aw even after the bad date idia still likes cater :") i had him invite him over so we can try...

he immediately feels weird lol. and just after talking to him a few minutes he got that same "cheered to death" annoyed moodlet lol 😭 BUT WE SOLDIER FORWARD!!!

he said yes :D

i had the four of them cook together like a lil family, cater looked right at home but idia looked confused by the cutting board and it felt like ortho stood there coaching him lolol and then as soon as idia started cutting ONE OF THE CATS JUMPED INTO IT....

maybe anyway they bonded over cooking :) ill end this post here on a good note kfdlsfhsdjg

[reductionisms]

okay hi. how are you! you mightve noticed me liking and reblogging millions of your gintama posts. to which i say... teehee gomen? ;^__^ just wanted yo say i love the way your analysis and also the gintama math posts?!!!??!!! not saying im getting everything because im not (<- studied math for 3 years but not in english so i dont understand some of it) but yeah its was a nice approach. and im saving them to read later again when its not 2am

now for the ASK: have you thought about making a pinned post of all your analysis/the gintama math series? i would love to have them in one place

and the second ask: i noticed you and another blog (joleetwo i think?)(im planning on stalking all their gintama posts too. when it's not 2am) talking about gintoki = shouyo. would you explain it a bit? or if you already have, can you send the link?

THANK YOU!!!

hi!

tyyy, you flatter me too much... tbf even though i study math im pretty bad at it so i dont get everything either& half of what i write is abuse of notation lol

as for mathematics posting, unfortunately ive been sick on and off for the last 3 months and also very busy, so i didnt get to continue the tama series (im hoping to add it eventually, but right now its just the first installment). my other misc gintamaposting, including math posting (everything is math posting to me even if it isnt), is under “goose tag” in my archive if youd like to check it out. there’s also this compendium* i made of things i think are gintama math posting from other gintama mathematicians i love and admire. (*from early 24 so not updated since then- so not comprehensive)

as for shouyou=gintoki, i havent written on this specifically since it’s just something i carry with me always… in the first, in 519-20 when takasugi sees shouyou in his eye, in the next panel he sees gintoki in that exact position. to me, the first time i watched that, it just sort of clicked.

philosophically, gintama has this theme of what makes someone human. i feel like humanity here must be given to you by someone else (you have to be Named by them)— and it sort of aligns with the passing of promises (4devas, coan flashback)— that is, the passing of someone’s will. jirocho promises otose’s husband to protect kabukicho, which is otose’s husband’s will, and then gintoki promises jirocho to do the same, etc. similarly, gintoki upholds shouyou’s promise to protect their friends— which i am inclined to think is at least partially constitutive of shouyou’s person. that is, shouyou strove against utsuro to love and protect humans, which is what differentiated him from utsuro and eventually made him human (through gintoki, who makes him human). so gintoki receives shouyou’s promise, which is shouyou’s self (“a samurai is one who disciplines their weaker self”—follows this promise—self tied to promise), and on the cliff he acts it out. ie, by participating in shouyou’s will gintoki becomes shouyou. as do many people in gintama. and none at all. anyways unfortunately im sick and low energy so this is a bad explanation but hopefully that makes sense? Im sure joelle has written on this as well, as a heads up id just check with him to make sure he’s okay with spam notifs before going through his blog.

ty for the mathematics love since i love mathematics posting, & have a wonderful day!

[evermorethecrow]

ive noticed you're actually very particular about colour choices! is there anything from the chuuyaus you'd like to highlight or elaborate on?

SPOILERS FOR VARIOUS STORIES OF MINE BELOW CUT! and an additional warning for eyestrain

im so glad you asked

now i use colour symbolism 24/7 so instead of wasting time explaining how its used in multiple things i'll stick to just one

i have a colour to corelate each of my main three and today im focusing on the yuuko au

look at this joyless guy

Today im specifically focusing on the alt plotline here

the murase plotline!!

Now green is this stories colour, its used a LOT

The saturation is especially important,

i use saturation a lot to highlight distressed emotions

using crychu here as an example

when it comes to the yuuko au though the saturation is more paticular, people in distress on their own get washed out

(as seen here)

and only the interference of others gets highlighted in saturated tones, (see above)

this changes when two people are experiencing that sort of adrenailine at the same time

like here (excuse the old art) people's colour schemes are very important in this

chuuya's pretty desaturated (obvioulsy this isnt coloured in but bare with me)

he doenst have his green jacket so he looks a lot duller, and when he gets more clothes he continues to dress in the same grey ways, mature clothing and blandness

misacho's always been beige, sometimes its hard to see what colour is actually the base of her outfit since everything is so light.

etsukos got more of a purple scheme which sticks out against most the other people in it. its really intresting how that fits her charecter later on.

I CANT SAY TOO MUCH THOUGH

theres a LOT of colour symbolsim in this au i havent mentioned but im not telling for spoilers sake

hope again that this makes any sense at all

[qoldenskies]

Taking a break from homework to ask 11, 12, and 30 from that ask game you reblogged (I’m super super interested in the way other people go about writing their fics lolol 🙏)

YIPPEEEEE

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

truthfully it kind of depends! whenever i write i tend to have The Scene in mind and if i get impatient i'll usually write it, but i try to avoid doing it because i notice it messes with flow (but flow and pacing is something im just very conscious of, even though i observe that because im writing it my brain is reading it faster/skimming so its partially a me problem LOL)

in caged lungs im skipping around only because im trying to go with a draft format instead of editing as i go, since its so long itll help when i see everything connected, and there's a few scenes i plan on changing/rewriting completely when i get it all out. technically everything ive posted up to this point is a first draft, and its a habit i hope to break !!

12. Do you outline your fics? If yes, how detailed are your outlines?  How far do you stray from them?

i doooo yes, its mostly just a list of things/interactions i know i want. for cvd i have plans for up to chapter 9/10 or so, and just a bunch of scripts/concepts for later. with canary continuity i have a description for each scene on the google doc and i just add the content in as i go, with my actual notepad (thing i discovered i had on my laptop and have been using liberally) i mostly have quotes and passages i want to put in the story

and also for cc in particular im keeping really close track of the motifs and how i want to work them back around. already thinking about the healing part of the arc and implanting scenes/chekhovs guns that are going to loop back around WAY down the line is very funny... i actually do some of this for cvd too, i love to write intentionally like that.... i am weirdly pretentious and earnest about my turtle fanfiction. people have no idea what im going to do with that lamp and i bide my time. also the clocks. and the laundry room. and the ocean (actually that one's fine its just a parallel). and the rooftop. and the cameras oh my god the cameras. i plan on committing so many horrors

really just things i know i WANT to be consistent with is the biggest thing i keep track of (although sometimes things will just pop up AS i'm writing and i roll with the punches, like the security system being a metaphor in coming undone, and also all of the very intentional trust fall parallels and the way it conveniently worked with the chapter names. fun fact for metaphors, i REALLY planned to expand on the chess thing between leo and donnie but it messed with the pacing so im keeping it for cvd.... ive got some ideas)

OH EXCEPT FOR THAT SEP AU IVE VAGUELY TALKED ABOUT. i have EVERY SINGLE chapter plotted out, its 52 chapters long. i am NOT GOING TO WORRY ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW its a far in the future thing. but its also the only au i have that isnt like,,, specifically canon divergent, so i wanted to pay close attention to how i set things up. 4 later (currently the working name for it is where we went wrong, after the song by the hush sound, and honestly im tempted to keep it because it makes the acronym wwww which is beautifully ironic because they take NOTHING BUT LS ITS JUST ONE AFTER ANOTHER OH MY GOD)

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

OH I KIND OF ALREADY ANSWERED THIS ABOVE OOPS. im trying to break out of the habit but i mostly just grammar correct through google docs and then throw out the first draft haphazardly, and it can kinda come off polished anyway because i tend to edit as i go. sometimes it means i'll fix mistakes in fics like a month after releasing them, impatience is my Weakness

wow i yap a lot LMFAO the yapperrrr

[tchaikovskaya]

this is very tangential so i will just put it in a separate unrebloggable post here lmao but

one thing (which is coming up Bigly wrt this Issue) that has continued to bother me is something ive noticed about an uncomfortable number of people's lack of emotional intelligence (? idk how else to say it but i feel thats not quite it) specifically their apparent refusal to take peoples intentions into account when theyre analyzing interpersonal conflicts.

like okay to give an example thats not related to IPV. (and yeah i know this subreddit is a far cry from an outstanding example of healthy human emotion and social mentality etc etc etc lmao but bear with me)

there was this one post on the AITA subreddit not too long ago that was basically like "i want a child free wedding. teenagers are okay. all of my niblings are 13+ except for my sister's baby who is a baby, like <18mo. all my niblings are thus invited except my sister's baby. my sister is refusing to come to my wedding if she cant bring her kid. my entire side of the family is in a tizzy about it. i wont budge. AITA for getting mad at my sister for turning this into a huge thing?"

and the replies were all like "yes you're the asshole, an invitation isnt a summons sweatie [one of their fave lines lmao] ;)))) uwu you invited her but she doesnt HAVE to come!" like okay yeah thats fine and dandy if she doesnt want to come lmfao but the issue is that the sister is clearly not UNWILLING to go to the wedding, she very much WANTS to go to the wedding but insists on bringing her baby, and her entire family is coming down hard on the bride ON THE SISTERS BEHALF for not making this exception, its not just that shes declining to come its that shes using her whole fukcing family as leverage to pressure the bride into making this allowance!!!! shes not ACTUALLY refusing to come, she has every intention of eventually coming once the bride inevitably caves bc of course she will. Shes fucking clearly being petulant because she's depending on the bride folding and the bride wont, and thats why everyone is upset! at the bride and not at the sister for being stubborn as a mule and making the whole thing about her and her damn baby instead of letting it go and accepting that shes gonna be staying at home !!!!

idk if this even makes any sense at this point lmao its 3am but just like. the insistence that everything happens in a vacuum and we all act according to free will and there are never any external social pressures on us influencing what we are and are not willing to tolerate when dealing with other people. its all just so fucking frustrating idk lmao !!!!

[angel---eater]

both june and roxy struggle *immensely* with compcis. i could write an entire essay abt how roxy started with almost obnoxiously cisfemininine imagery that he clung to hard but then was so much happier after transitioning to void blue im ngl. roxy fuckin bloomed after godtiering. the colour thing isnt a 1-to-1 match for every character obviously, i mean, dave is right there going from red to... more red. but theres a ton of stuff to dig into for both a transfem and/or a transneutral read of him (davepeta thriving for one as a half olive-blood, a femme-coded colour in hs1, and exclusively using they/them) (better example i think would be vriska going from one femme-coded colour to another in cerulean to light-aspect yellow, and the general consensis on her being transfem coded**). but i cant help but notice a distinct and matching signifigance to colour + gender and struggling either with themselves or with their aspect with roxy and june

june's shirt symbol being jade's green, but then as she goes through the story shes taken over by blue (god tiering), and her dissonance/dissociation with herself and her life in candy. shes just not happy. her life in candy was great at the start and she loves her partner and son, she loves being a parent, but theres a continual feeling of emptyness and Wrongness that imo goes beyond (bdum tiss) her usual brand of dissociation. losing her father but trying to fit into his shoes with fatherhood and all the suits. something just isnt right. roxy brings this up HERSELF in candy in hsbc, and june just kinda glazes over it. yaint right june!! something needs to change and the something is you! she hasnt embraced her aspect completely yet and she needs to

roxy's everything being COVERED in pink. the desperation for a boyfriend (his crush on dirk, also being very obviously interested in jake, the only boys he knows). trying so hard to connect to his mom but failing until he actually meets rose. the continual lalondian misunderstanding of each other. being introduced to blue through godtiering and stumbling through it (trying and failing to recreate the matriorb until hes quite literally in his element), feeling that maybe its an awkward fit, until finally getting to explore himself in meat (and candy, but in a slightly different direction). he has embraced his aspect completely and that has changed him for the better

roxy seems to thrive when hes on his own - not isolated like how he was pre-game, but at peace with it. just calm and quiet, peaceful and in his element (aspect). june hasnt had that yet. i dont think we know what that looks like for her yet, cause she hasnt found it

so much of homestuck is about actively watching these characters. its MEANT to be voueyristic. we as the reader are put in a distinct (and literal in a meta/literary sense) 'watching through the window' position. we're supposed to watch these characters grow and transition from state to state. sometimes in a non-trans way, but sometimes very VERY much in a trans way. im not surprised at all that june was planned and im wondering how long roxy's route was planned too

i think in particular for trans characters in hs, embracing your aspect is KEY. watching the trans character embrace their aspect is key

**if anyone has any specifically transfem meta/analysis for vriska please send it my way because i keep feeling like ive missed something major there. idk whether its a general gap bc i cant pick up on really specific lived experiences that i just, yknow, wont live. i just havent actually seen a lot digging into this in canon. which to my own mind even sounds fuckin crazy but also i dont usually pay as much attention to vriska when it comes to my own meta/analysis. so much of her is already super plain to see and right on the page for me that i dont actually have to dig very far for my own reading. like she full on just tells us whats going on with her a lotta the time. Understanding Vriska[tm] and her problems like this isnt a badge of honor but it does come in useful lmao

regardless, reading the epilogues and HSBC is ESSENTIAL for understanding june egbert and what both hussie and the current writing team are putting down for her. being trans is part of her heros jouney, like for real her egg cracking NEEDS to happen for her to truly become a fully realized heir of breath. shes supposed to embody change, but she hasnt actually changed yet. not like how roxy has truly become a rogue of void and shaped himself from both 'everything' (binary gender) and 'nothing' (gender outside of binary). june can completely dissapate herself into the wind around her but cant quite break outta that shell yet. who KNOWS what she could do as an heir of breath after having this realization

[blankblyke]

CYCLE OF THE WAVES ?? ROUTINE?? AUTISM?? SLAHS JOKE

OK SO WHAT I CAN SEE IS THAT ELYS MAIN MOTIF IS THE SAND? MAYBE THE EARTH

anyways ely seems to lack guidance as he looks towards the ocean and asks for help. ely seems like one of those kids who grew up too fast but after their physical age reaches the mental age theyre no longer able to mentally mature and is considered immature for their age

ely clearly feels guilty about something, seeming so desperate for answers, as he asks the ocean for them.

okok wait my thoughts lowk have straightened out so now my text should have some order to them

So in the first stanza it reads "I was told to observe them. Never to interfere with them. / Not until the time came." while referring to the cycle of waves wetting the sand, and then the sand air drying. I think the cycle symbolizes Inspira, as Ely was sheltered, and if i remember correctly, not allowed into Inspira until he reached a certain age. I believe the wetting and drying of the sand can represent the formation of Inspira, and it developing. Because when sand gets wet, it's heavier and compacts, and then dries staying in the same place. It's kind of similar to the process of which sedimentary rock is formed, so I think it means the development of Inspira until everything is set in stone.

"Tonight, wet sand covers my shaking hands" I also noticed there's no punctuation here, I'm not sure if that is intentional, but I don't know how to analyze punctuation so womp womp

ANYWAYS basing on how IVE interpreted the last stanza, this line means Ely has disrupted the development of Inspira. He clearly doesn't know how to fix it because he questions himself and asks for help from the ocean, who can't actually answer him. "The gritty texture asks for me to free them, but how?" throws me off a little, because I know this line is important, but I cant quite seem to make sense of how it is important. You personify the sand, allowing it to enough of a conscience to want one thing; freedom. Because I concluded earlier that the sand represents Inspiria, I can only assume in this specific line, the sand is the people of Inspiria. The other day you also referred to Inspira as "The land of the trapped" if i remember correctly, to it would make sense for the sand to represent people and for these people to beg for freedom. This means that the people of Inspira view Ely as a hero, or maybe a god who will free them from Inspiria.

The waves continue to splash on, making me think that the waves symbolize time because nothing can stop time. THEN ELY LOOKS AT THE STARS?? I SCREAMED BTW!! because the stars are like.. souls or something.. i forgot.. but theyre like people who have passed and the underlying message is probably the deceased trying to tell ely how to fix it but cuz ely isnt like... a ghost whisperer i think he doesnt understand it. thats a reference to warrior cats because medicine cats would be able to communicate with their ancestors.. and it proves how ely is a sopping wet cat

oh yeah ely isnt mentioned after the stars ' underlying message so im just guessing he doesnt understand them

i also lowk dont know what the stars are yapping about but im assuming theyre telling ely to take advantage of the fact he went OUTSIDE!! and to do the things he wants and to not view the world from this tiny square where he can only see the bad things

because even if he messed some of it up, theres still plenty to see

and because the waves will always return sand to its original spot, time will fix it anyways

oh yeah and ro is playing parent again because of the boat thing

anwyas thats all i had to say

Day 18

This has a more defined meaning but it is fun nonetheless :D

[aviannauts]

some concepts and notes for the Aftershock AU!

(the big fullbody one of him in the first picture looks really weird i would.. probably ignore that for his anatomy for now)

Concept Notes: (please note that im still developing stuff as we speak! so feel free to ask about it or note if something looks weird and how i should make it better and i’ll answer/do that :] )

UPDATE NOTE: ive stopped putting notes specifically here because of the image cap and how long its getting, but all new information and plot will be in a comic if it eventually comes out! currently im too busy to work on it, but i have the first page planned out ^^

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UPDATES:

Nov 7: the notes were (hopefully) reset as of recently because the “read more” kept duplicating and deleting the other ones so.. ah!! just tweaked concepts, added more images, made it possibly easier to read and.. i dunno! (if you see multiple lines of arrows thats because the read more keeps screwing with whatever is underneath it in a short proximity)

Nov 11: reorganized a bit and added the general story into the notes!

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[Short AU description:] In short, Aftershock is an AU where Snowgrave Berdly gets turned into a semi-mechanical minion by Queen

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Aftershock Berdly Info:

[> Berdly is being controlled by an AI. All its really programmed to do is to disable and capture the lightners, but due to Berdly becoming progressively slowly amalgamated by the presence of a soul in a incapable body, the electronics inside kinda… get funky sometimes. It feels really heavy, too. The soul keeps trying to break itself apart every beat that it has, but something keeps pulling it back together.

[> Before the fight, Berdly can see kind of a warped reality of whats actually happening. He doesn’t really realize he is dead and instead sees the machine as his own body, however, trying to speak to anybody doesn’t really work as he isnt making any sound from the outsider’s perspective. The only oddity he notices in his perspective is his own shadow, which doesn’t exactly fit him and instead the machine. He eventually realizes something is very wrong and there must be a reason why people stare at him strangely.

During the fight, from Berdly’s perspective he is sent into a dark void with white doorways littered about. The AI shuts him into this enclosed space realizing he may easily become a threat. Berdly runs up to the doors and gets a blurry/warped glimpse of the outside battle before almost immediately getting shut back inside. But each time he checks a door the vision gets clearer and the door takes longer to close, until he’s finally able to see clearly through one door, whose hinges are torn off, and walks through.

[> Aftershock Berdly can only speak organized fragments of what Berdly’s conciousness says, which leads to some odd sentences to come out. But usually they dont speak at all.

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General AU Story/World Infobase (so far):

The story plays out normally until you defeat Berdly by Snowgrave. You can walk around Berdly instead of following Noelle to access more of the city and continue to get stronger for a while. (aka im not sure what happens here)

After exploring for a while Kris will backtrack back to where Berdly was frozen and Berdly will be gone, possibly the only sign of him even being there would be a broken ring of ice where he once stood.

When going back up to where Noelle walked, instead of a manhole, it would continue into another spread out maze of the city. it would be completely empty with a few stores with broken windows you could go inside of and loot. Kris will occasionally catch glimpses of a tall shadowy figure. After a while the music will stop completely as Kris turns around to see AS!Berdly towering over them, Kris will have to sprint and maneuver through the winding city to find a way out without letting AS!Berdly catch up. If Kris backtracks through the start by looping AS!Berdly, Berdly will immediately catch up and kill Kris with a downwards swing of his halberd. Going the correct way will lead Kris to The Backend where they will trip and fall out into the snow, Berdly wont be able to find them and walks back into the city.

Kris walks out into The Backend for a long time, reaching a checkpoint and walking some more, before finally reaching the humble clockwork city (it doesn’t have a name for now). A friendly face (OJ) enthusiastically greets Kris and shows them around, but after a while Kris starts to notice OJ mumbling about them under his breath, OJ is skeptical of Kris’ behavior, but still shows a positive attitude. OJ eventually tells Kris they will be back at their shop and leaves Kris in the middle of town. Kris can follow OJ into his shop and buy his goods (which, depending on what you buy can get you different reactions (like buying multiple weapons: “G-Gosh “Kris”..! Whaddya need that for out here! heheh! ….you sure have a lot..”). When talking to OJ you can ask about Noelle and in turn he will say something like “Noelle? That.. girl that came in today? You want to see her? Heh!! I knew it! Well, she isnt too happy to see you right now if you’re who i think ya are. You wont be getting any whosayswhat on where she is right now! KeKeKe!”. If you keep asking about Noelle he will just repeat “No, Really! Nothing outta me.”

Kris may explore the rest of town, with no sign of Noelle, and eventually leave back towards Cyber City due to the fountain being there. Susie gets taken by AS!Berdly and Ralsei has run away from the scene, frazzled. Ralsei and Kris find eachother and Ralsei frantically tells Kris that Susie was taken, somethings seriously wrong with Berdly, and that we have to rescue Susie.

Kris and Ralsei travel together and come across The Acid Tunnel of… where they cant find anything to cross it with except for a broken boat. They patch it up together, Kris will supply items from vacant stores if they did take them, but if they didn’t take the items (or dropped them later) Ralsei will provide items they gathered. They cross over the dilapidated Acid Tunnel quietly, until being suddenly stopped. Ralsei wonders why the boat stopped before being interrupted by a eerie roar and a creature erupts through the acid and stares down at them. Ralsei is speechless for a moment and Kris takes out their sword, a battle ensues. If the team loses, the boat will sink into the acid.

(WIP part) After defeating the creature, they continue onward with the current until they reach the river’s end. There they reach a long hall of doors and notice that one of the doors is being pounded on from the inside. They open the door and let out Susie. Susie and Ralsei both look relieved and bewildered and Susie breathily explains how freaky Berdly looked. She mentions the strange look Berdly gave her, it looked.. almost as if he was… undead. Ralsei tries to reassure Susie, maybe that they were overreacting and Berdly was simply just serving the queen, but Susie mentions how he didnt even have his usual “save the day” jerky attitude, he didnt even say a word. Ralsei is not sure what to say to that, and just seems concerned. Eventually, Susie questions where Noelle went. Ralsei questions it too, but Kris is silent. Kris urges them to keep moving, and even though this pisses Susie off and Ralsei seems more concerned than ever, they both dont want to go back and encounter Berdly if they can be easily picked off like that.

Eventually Kris reaches the fountain, Ralsei tells Kris to seal the fountain and that they will be nearby.

Kris readies themself to seal the fountain, but gets interrupted by a stray projectile knocking them onto the ground. There is a moment of silence, before a shadow looms over Kris and stares down at them. A lumbering machine, Berdly approaches Kris. He seems like he was slightly falling apart in comparison to the first time they met, cracks littered across his metal plates, and a greyish-blue substance dripping from his skin once was. His soul pounded slowly and irregularly, it seemed like it was trying to split itself every beat, but failed to do so. Berdly opens his mouth and shrieks garbage noise at Kris before a battle ensues.

[any other information is already written below!]

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[Loaded Disk:]

[> An item you can obtain by interacting with Berdly once he has been defeated.

[>Can loaded into a console. once loaded into a console, Berdly can access any appliances (though mostly staying in the console) within a network range and can only be extracted back into the disk if convinced to do so.

[>If taken back to a dark world, can be loaded into a machine body. Berdly would be excited about feeling a body again, but also not used to it.

Desc: A Loaded Disk, it feels strangely boisterous. Yet, you feel guilty just holding it. It probably has some bad feelings about you.

“It probably has some bad feelings about you” dialogue doesn’t appear if you beat him with Acts. (reasoning farther down)

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Attacks and Battle Info: (CURRENTLY BEING RECONCEPTUALIZED A BIT... BUUT IM KINDA FORGETTING ABOUT IT OOPS)

(the song here is a test song)

[> Percentage description: 0-100% stands for Mercy Percentage or Damage taken, Mercy percentage speaks for itself, though 100% in Snowgrave is 0 health.

Notable percentage stages: 0-40% 40-70% 70-90% 90-100%

[> Location of appearance: At the dark fountain, replacing Spamton NEO

[> Noelle had most likley caught a glimpse of Aftershock alone when trying to take her mind off things.

(1) [> Split Smash: Split smash is a predictable slow attack by animation, but its slowness is a requirement get to an optimal safe spot since the attack makes a very tight safe spot || Only appears during 0%-50%

(2) [> Dilapidated Wind Arrow: A weak version of Berdly’s tornado attacks, appears as Berdly’s consciousness begins to come through more. The attacks are RNG based. || Only appears during 70%+ || Reflectable

(3) [> Player)) Deflect Mechanic: If holding Z near yellow projectiles, the player can collect energy and fire it back at Berdly. If hitting Berdly’s soul, it will do a good deal of damage. The player can collect 3 projectiles but after then they must avoid yellow attacks as they cant hold any more energy and will take damage.

(4) [> Tug of War: Berdly grabs the player and begins to drag them toward a rib cage design of spikes. The player can rapidly press ⬅️ to weaken the grip and break free. || All % attack, but soul box will be smaller and attacks will be shorter at 70%+

(5) [> DNA: Berdly sends a split stream from his Halberd in the shape of DNA. The soul box shrinks to trap the player inside the spiral. || Appears 0%-70%

(6) [> Heal: Has the ability to mend/heal which makes them hard to knock down. Heal is usually used after a wire is snapped and the first heal regenerates MAX health, however beginning attacks also do more damage to Aftershock Berdly. As the % rises, Berdly’s defense rises as he begins seeing Kris’ patterns but his regeneration begins to fall to 0. Berdly’s damage output also lowers as the percentage rises.

(7) [> Animation)) Interference: A garbled and distorted whisper of dialogue from somewhere. Occurs when a lot of damage is done at once or starts when % gets over 50%. Gets more comprehensible as % rises.

[> Target Rapid Blasts: A common any % attack that hones onto the player and quickly fires at them. Attacks slow as Berdly becomes weaker. || Deflectable

[> They can no longer use the A+ attack. (but they may appear occasionally on screen, falling from the top)

[> The A+ attack appears as a large plane of fused together and melted papers or.. whatever may be, and the soul would have to navigate a tight passageway of a scrolling mutated paper wave || Any% but slower the higher it gets

[> In a sudden pacifist against Aftershock, Kris will snap the wires. Berdly will gradually gain more control as his mentality stays strong while his body gets weaker. Once Berdly has enough control, he’ll send a blast of fatal electricity towards Kris, who automatically reflects it against the player. Berdly’s final wires break and Berdly falls. (this is a self inflicted attack. Berdly does not want to live in a heavy mechanical husk being controlled by someone else.)

[> In a continued Snowgrave, Kris still calls for Noelle to assist them, which she does, sending an icicle spear from off screen to break the final wire.

Noelle then rushes up to berdly and sits next to them, pushing Kris out of the way a little. Berdly will speak to Noelle, hoping to see her when they wake up, then lose the final percentages and be considered dead.

[In both instances, Berdly ejects a Loaded Disk. The player can choose to take it, leave it, or drop it (breaking it).

[> In Snowgrave -> Pacifist Berdly has a grudge against Noelle due to now believing that Kris wasnt actually doing anything and Noelle betrayed him

In Snowgrave -> Snowgrave Berdly hates Kris, and if the Loaded disk is taken, he hopes to see Noelle again.

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The OST (?):

[Mostly ambience, a heartbeat, droning, and distant, slow, looping leitmotifs echoing and cutting in and out in the background (consisting of Bluebird of Misfortune, Attack of the Killer Queen, Smart Race, Powers Combined, Faint Courage, Lost Girl, Rude Buster, ect)

[New idea:] It begins with a barely noticeable Rude Buster (distorted and possibly only just the bass lines) at 0%. the heart is loudest here, giving the only beat in this sector.

At 40-70% a more noticeable Attack of the Killer Queen begins to blend in, fading Rude Buster out. Its still distorted but more comprehensible and drums appear too. The original melody pops in and out and the melody loops sooner than it should. other quiet readable songs fade in and out if its even possible. The heartbeat probably syncs with the drums.

At 70-100% an original triumphant but saddened tune begins to power through, still slow but somehow keeping an energy of hope.

[Old Notes but same concept:]

the beat of the song would mainly be the heartbeat all throughout, it gets faster the closer you get to 70% and stays consistent after that

A coherent, triumphant but tired, beat slowly begins to come through as the % rises and overpowers the ambience at 70% before stopping in silence when the final wire is snapped in pacifist. In snowgrave it stops when the wires are snapped by Noelle, then starts again, subtle, slow, and distorted when Noelle approaches Berdly before leaving only a slowing heartbeat for a moment.

“And then, there was nothing.”

Some songs that i find pretty similar in energy:

1] The Man in the Hat

2] Old Friends Anew

3] Long Way Down…

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Doodles that dont have a finalized concept:

(The Backend)

(dark room the AI shuts berdly into)

Acid Tunnel of...

(a corrupted monster fueled by the exposed code and hopes of the ones who were thrown in) [[really early concept]]

The Great Hall of Aftershock Berdly Concept Art

[catboymoments]

💀 ok this isnt a specific user its a phenomenon that ive noticed in this fandom im in in general not just on tumblr. ANYWAY. there's this podcast i like a lot and one of the characters is specified to be fat/plus sized on multiple occasions in and out of podcast, described with things like "long slender limbs on a compact pudgy body", as well as characters in the podcast calling him voluptuous and saying he has nice hips. Its also a plot point that kids at school when he was younger didnt believe he was malnourished because of his weight. Despite this, I continually see people draw him skinny like a twig and it's really infuriating because it's one of the only things out of all of the marginalized groups he represents that I keep seeing people erase. He's also gay trans physically disabled autistic psychotic etc, and written incredibly well, but almost everyone acknowledges pretty much everything else except his weight

Ohhhh?

[milf-harrington]

please tell me more about arson and other crimes. I don't have anything specific in mind I just want to hear more, actually wait I lied I do have a specific question. it sounds like this wip is low fantasy? I LOVE low fantasy settings so feel free to talk about how magic intersects with the regular world but also, again, I'd love to hear about anything in general

RORI I AM KISSING YOU ON THE FOREHEAD

so arson is a sort of urban fantasy where there is that split between the world regular people know and the supernatural/magical world - one of the main characters, Jai (he's a witch), describes it as "The difference between the real world and what everyone thinks is the real world, is a pair of figurative open eyes. Once you see, you know."

There's 6-ish main characters: Jai, Ira, Nancy, Orli, Kauri + i guess Seftan

and then some good side characters are: Vince, Beau + David

The basic gist of the story is that theres this group of people who are trying to find immortality, as one does, and they develop this ritual of sorts: kill a supernatural and take their life force before the earth can claim it.

By doing this theyre upsetting the balance of nature or whatever and slowly (so slowly no one notices at first) it begins to affect the local magic scene. Werewolves senses dull, dryads cant feel as much of the bush, witches struggle with harder spells etc and then one night, this evil group picks the wrong sacrifice: Ira.

Ira...who is half-possessed by this very old sorta eldritchy creature that wont let him stay dead.

So they find this guy, drenched in blood and rain (for reasons) and they grab him and kill him but when they try to take his life force theres nothing there to take (the creature absorbs it when he dies and gives it back when it decides its safe to) and the ritual sort of backfires and all the power slams into the earth and sends this huge shockwave through town which is felt by every single supernatural/magic creature and finally alerts everyone that something weird is going on.

The reason this specific group of characters are the main cast is bc they all know each other through other people? Ira is a regular at the coffee shop that Orli's family owns (she works there) and Orli has a crush on Nancy who is Seftans niece. Seftan owns a magic shop where Jai works and Kauri is their magical plant supplier.

So when shit hits the fan (*eyeing Jai* or when the avocado hits the ceiling in some cases) Seftan tells Jai about what happened to him and Nancy, and Kauri comes storming in raving about their garden. Nancy overhears Orli's thoughts about what happened to her family, and ends up inviting her over for the family dinner where they were all gonna discuss what they think caused it all. They decide to try find where the shockwave originated and thats where they find and meet Ira who is freshly back from the dead <3

The story then continues with the 5 of them (and sometimes Seftan) trying to figure out who and what happened, while they commit a bunch of crimes in order to do so. (Ive been keeping a tally, and in literally just the prologue, three crimes are committed/implied, including murder).

some scenes i think about all the time

Kauri setting fire to a pool by accident during a fight with a feral siren

"You smell terrible" "Thanks its the depression" "Or maybe its because you just died?"

The 5 of them crashing at Nancy's house all the time and Seftan just straight up forgetting to tell his husband theyve somehow aquired more children

Them all finding out what exactly the goal is for the bad guys and Ira laughing really tiredly and saying "Immortality isnt that great." and Nancy quietly hugging him

Beau and Ira realising they knew each other when Beau was alive and everyone slowly realising that they have no idea how old Ira is (beau died in the 1880's)

Jai and Ira becoming best friends, like people-think-theyre-in-love levels of best friend even though they dont see each other like that bc Jai is totally in love with Kauri and wont admit it

(Ira's name used to be Milo and i think you might be able to find some old posts about him somewhere, i can try find them and link them here tho.)

How the actual magic itself interacts with the regular world is like,,, dragons owning/running the local museum or art galleries, dryads and other plant/natures based creatures running florsists or gardening services or being landscapers, a family of werewolves running a cafe that lets you bring your pets inside etc

Like, Seftan owns and runs a magic shop that, to regular people, is like your run-of-the mill hippy-like store that offers tarot readings and crystals but to people In The Know its a place to get actual real magical ingredients or information; people in the know will get real answers from Seftans readings where regular people get what they want to hear.

All of the above is just like. The basic info so if you have more questions feel free to ask :DD

[petewentzisblack1312]

okay so since you know more than sarah could u give more info?? because i love learning about pete and his blackness as its literally never talked about ANYWHERE else. like thank god for tumblr tbh. sarah is genuinely the only reason ive ever known anything about him in that way but its always been limited so thats why i sent her the ask. i didnt even know ur blog. sorry for sending to her instead of you!!!

oh its fine!! im pretty new on the scene technically. while sarah and i were in the fob fandom at the same time in 2015 ish, i actually left tumblr completely and recently came back!! but anyway, lets talk about petes melanin (my beloved <3)

theres a pretty pervasive narrative, not just around pete but around any black and especially biracial celebrities that theyre ashamed of their blackness or arent "really" black. theres like. a looooooooooong conversation to be had within the black community about this, but to tldr it, the assumption is if you dont look black, you arent black, which for a lot of reasons isnt exactly the case. with him in particular theres a lot of stuff that contributes to this.

most people do not associate the alternative scene and emo especially with black people, so its easy to overlook a lot if someone isnt SUPER obviously black. pete has other ethnic features, like his nose, and is recognizable visually as black except for his skin color. except thats because hes been artificially lightened in photoshoots due to editing and (ALLEGEDLY AND POSSIBLY) lighter foundations. further, he relaxed his hair, which takes away another ethnic feature of his.

there is another aspect to this, which is that black people tan, noticeably and by several shades. you will not notice it if youre like seeing them continuously throughout the year, but as someone who lives in the caribbean and has spent some time in the states, the difference is stark enough to be noticeable. a lightskinned black person may look MUCH paler in the winter compared to in the summer.

in addition, the wealthier you are, the less time you tend to spend in the sun, so ive noticed that black celebrities tend to get lighter as they gain notoriety just because they have like more resources. the reason people from the caribbean tend to become lighter when we go to the states isnt because of less sun, during the summer thats not at all the case, its because the US is more developed so you dont HAVE to spend as much time in the sun.

besides that, hes like genuinely very loud and proud about being black, but all of those attempts are met with backlash. there was the reaction to his natural hair, the reaction to him with cornrows, and the reaction to his very emotional rant about the murder of george floyd. it happens in fobs music too!! ioh for example draws a lot of influence from choral and hymnal arrangements and soul music, not to mention jay-z and babyface working on the album itself, which led to them being labelled sell outs. they also just generally work with rappers more, with lil wayne on tiffany blews and big sean on srar, both of which also led to them being called sell outs. ab/ap as an album draws influence from rap/trap and mixtape culture in the way it was written (thats why its got so many samples), and subsequently got remixed. remember what happened next? mania draws a lot of influence from calypso and dancehall music and features burna boy singing in yoruba patois. that one led to the featured artist getting harassed en masse and multiple (worse) edits of the song without him on it. i dont like it here 💞.

that last point brings me to the fact that while pete definitely loves hardcore and metal, he also has always loved reggae and dancehall. hes half jamaican, spent time in jamaica as a child and listened to his grandparents records, which were. well. reggae and calypso and a little dancehall. if anyone ASKS him about it, hell talk about it willingly and candidly, theres an entire interview from during the hiatus (which i can no longer find rip) where hes asked about and talks about going natural and spending time in jamaica and listening to reggae, which heavily influenced black cards. he visited jamaica during the hiatus! although its unclear if he visited family since literally every news outlet that mentioned it was like "oh tropical getaway <3" unaware that thats where his folks are from

also heres that interview snippet sarah mentioned! i have the full page, its about the early days which is funny bc its just before futct.

theres also some poetry on sarahs blog that she found years ago thats VERY black. i dont like making it easy to find for nonblack people simply because the first time it was unearthed mostly white people were talking about it and the meaning of it went way over everyone elses head so i try to make sure that if people start talking about it they know going in that its about being black and biracial specifically and so that black fans dont feel the way i did when it first surfaced lol

all of this emphatically points to pete genuinely loving his blackness and not trying to hide it and it being something that majorly shaped his life, but genuinely being unable to talk about it bc of public perception.

sorry for talking your ear off!! if you have any specific qs i almost certainly have answers!!

[parismemes]

THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.

“tell me everythng.” “HEHEHEHEHEHEHE” “i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop” “i on principle only like songs that go hard” “I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK” “heehoo. water boy.” “why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here” “gacha games count as gambling” “im also there. im laughing” “u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money” “what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd” “what a traumatic backstory” “I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“ “THAT’S not good!” “if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem” “i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off” “YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!” “why the fuck would you want that” “yeah hes my only one true love” “by a few i of course mean like 600″ “no one fucking appreciate me” “thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me” “i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle” “im smart and never regret it“ “see, i just dont think thats right” “i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)” “hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass” “sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,” “it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means” “why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes” “TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND” “he's a content creator he'll be fine” “what does this mean? but yes” “NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE” “for future record ___ just used the word poggers” “look at all these fuckin blondes” “its only been like a week and a half at most” “hes doing it out of affection” “ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN” “you are terrible and also the worst” “i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird” “do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins” “i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell” “run over pedestrians” “i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby” “you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“ “it's ok. we can figure it out later” “i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over” “ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS” “hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨” “im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out” “curious georg” “thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours” “i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai” “i should not and will not stop” “i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA” “that wasnt a question you read it wrong” “i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me” “THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY” “sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean” “WOT THIS” “I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“ “tired of all these stupid fuckin plants” “could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?” “actually everything is real” “if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast” “i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism” “i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE” “you dirty criminal” “is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss” “ok im done for the Right Now” “found a concerning orb. in the sky.” “HOW DID YOU KILL THEM” “why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this” “the only simp here is me” “I No Longer Wish To Know!“ “DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES” “WE ARE DETERMINED” “this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british” “they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo” “THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE” “its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about” “hanburnger?” “thats just what living with siblings is like” “howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk” “i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory” “i am sorry that you are predictable” “Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,” “i marked your worm” “what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn” “you Know i hate the idea of being wrong” “You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego” “i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead” “~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~” “am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell” “I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING” “jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst” “JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO” “cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it” “im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys” “itll be fiiiiiine” “we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper” “queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals” “its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is” “i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont” “AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES” “IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, I hope this isnt annoying to ask but w the old guard ive seen a lot of people mixing up catholic and christian when it comes to nicky. when by todays standards theyre not interchangeable as catholic is a specific strain of christianity. i was kinda under the impression the crusades were a purely catholic thing since the pope. is that right or were other christians involved??

Hmm. Just to be clear what you’re asking, are you wondering whether it’s a mistake to use “Catholic” and “Christian” interchangeably when talking about this time period or describing Nicky’s faith? And/or asking for a basic religious primer on medieval Europe and the crusades more generally?

First, it’s not a mistake to use “Catholic” and “Christian” as synonyms during the crusades, especially since a) Catholics are Christians, no matter what the militant Protestant reformers would like you to think, and b) until said Protestant reformation, they were the dominant and almost (but not quite) singular Christian denomination in Western Europe. Our source material for the period doesn’t describe the crusaders as “Catholics,” even if they were; they call them Christians or Franks. (Likewise, the word “Frank,” i.e. “French” was often used to describe Western European crusaders no matter which country they were from, since so many crusaders came from France and that was where the crusades were originally launched, at the council of Clermont in 1095.) To call them “Christians” points us to the fact that the crusades were viewed as a great pan-Christian enterprise, even if the reality was more complicated, and nobody would need to specify “Catholic,” because that was implicit.

In short, medieval Europe had two major strands of Christianity, which developed out of the centuries of arguments over heresy, the contents of the biblical canon, the nature and/or divinity of Christ, their relationship to Judaism, paganism, and other religions of late antiquity, and so forth. Eventually these two competing branches took on geographical, cultural, and linguistic associations: Western (Latin) Catholic Christianity, and Eastern (Greek) Orthodox Christianity. The Great Schism in 1054 split these two rites formally apart, though both of them had at least some thought that the internal divisions in Christianity should be healed and dialogue has continued intermittently even up to the present day (though they’re still not actually reconciled and this seems highly unlikely to ever happen.)

The head of Western Catholic Christianity was (and is) the Pope of Rome, and the head of Eastern Orthodox Christianity was (and is) the Patriarch of Constantinople. Both of these branches of Christianity were involved in launching the crusades. To make a long story short, the Byzantine (Greek) Emperor, Alexios Komnenos, appealed to the Catholic (Latin) pope, Urban II, for help in defending the rights of eastern Christians, territorial incursions against Greek possessions by the Muslims of the Holy Land and North Africa, and the city of Constantinople (and Jerusalem) itself. So although the actual French and Western European participants in the crusades were Catholic, they (originally, at least) joined up with the intention of helping out their Orthodox brethren in the East and “liberating” Jerusalem from the so-called tyranny of Islam. To this end, the accounts of the council of Clermont focused heavily on the brotherhood of western and eastern Christians and the alleged terrible treatment of these Christians by the ruling Islamic caliphate in Jerusalem. At that time, that was the Isma’ili Shia Muslim Fatimids (who had replaced the Sunni Muslim Abbasids in the early 10th century -- there are many names and many dynasties, but yes.)

However, despite this ecumenical start, relations between Western and Eastern Christians started to go bad very quickly over the course of the crusades, indeed within a few short years of Clermont. Alexios Komnenos wanted the crusade leaders to swear loyalty to him and pledge to return formerly Byzantine lands that might be recaptured from the Muslims, and the crusade leaders did not want to do this. There were deep cultural, linguistic, religious, social, and political differences between Greek and Latin Christians, even if they were both technically Christians, and these caused the obvious problems. The Greeks were obviously located in a different part of the world and had a different relationship with their Islamic neighbors (they fought them often, but also traded with them and established diplomatic ties) and this caused constant friction during the crusades, since the Westerners always suspected (not entirely wrongly) that the Greeks were secretly in league with the Turks. Albert of Aachen, writing his Historia Ierosolimitana in the early 12th century, referred to “wicked Christians, that is to say Greeks,” and our primary source for the Second Crusade (1145--49) is Odo of Deuil and his De profectione Ludovici VII in Orientem (Journey of Louis VII to the East.) He spent the entire time grousing about “treacherous Greeks” and blaming them for the crusade’s struggles (though the Second Crusade pretty much sabotaged itself and didn’t need any outside force to blame for its failure). There was some truth to this accusation, since Byzantium was then engaged in a war against Sicily (Louis VII’s ally, though it had its own connections to Muslim culture and indeed had been Muslim before the Normans conquered it in 1061). The Greeks had thus been working with the Muslims to undercut the invasion of Western Europeans into this contested territory, and this was not forgotten or forgiven.

The best-known example of Western-Eastern relations during the crusades going catastrophically awry is in 1204, at the sack of Constantinople as the culmination of the Fourth Crusade. Basically: the crusaders were deeply in debt to the Venetians and had already attacked the Catholic city of Zara (Zadar in Croatia) in hopes of getting some money back, then got involved in the messy politics of the Byzantine succession, went to Constantinople, and eventually outright attacked it, sacked and destroyed the city, and raped and slaughtered its inhabitants. This obviously poisoned the well all but permanently between Latin and Greek Christians (frankly, in my opinion, it’s one of the worst tragedies of history) and Constantinople never regained its former wealth and pre-eminence. It declined until it was captured in 1453 by the Ottoman Turks and Sultan Mehmed II, and has been an Islamic city ever since. (It was renamed Istanbul in 1923, under Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, the “founding father” of modern Turkey.) Obviously, Latin and Greek Christianity still had to work with each other somehow, but the crusades were actually the single biggest factor in driving the two branches further apart, rather than reconciling them.

The words “catholic” and “orthodox” both have connotations of universality, overall correctness, and all-encompassing truth claims. Therefore, in some sense, to a Catholic Christian or an Orthodox Christian, defining themselves as such, with both words, is repetitious; they are Catholic/Orthodox and therefore the correct sort of Christian (even if their theological opponents would disagree). However, historians obviously do use that convention to distinguish them, since the identity is important, and makes a big difference as to what religious landscape an individual is living in. As for heresy, it was an equally complicated subject. Numerous “heretical” (i.e. not mainstream Catholic Christianity) Christian sects existed in Europe for this entire period, most notably the Cathars. (They got their own crusade launched against them, the Albigensian Crusade of 1209--29 in southern France.) The lines between heresy and orthodoxy (small-o orthodoxy meaning in this case, confusingly, Catholic Christianity) could often be blurred, and religious practices were syncretic and constantly influenced each other. A big problem in the Albigensian Crusade was identifying who the heretics actually were; they looked like their Catholic neighbors, they lived in community with them, their friends and family members were Cathar and Catholic alike, both rites were practiced, and plenty of towns were just fine with this hybrid arrangement. Hence it was not as simple as just pointing and going “get those guys,” and indeed, one of the leaders of the Albigensian Crusade, when asked by a knight how to tell them apart, advocated to just kill them all and God would know who the good Catholics were. Welp.

Northern and eastern Europe also remained pagan relatively late into the medieval era (into the 10th and 11th centuries) and the Northern and Baltic Crusades were launched with the aim of converting them to Catholic Christianity. (You will notice that the crusades have a complicated history as both a vehicle of religious warfare and as an attempted theater of conversion.) Heresy was a constant preoccupation of the Catholic popes, especially Innocent III (the progenitor of the Fourth, Albigensian, and Fifth Crusades). Especially in the thirteenth century, splinter religious groups and localized sects of “heresy” were popping up like crazy, and it was a constant point of contention as to how to deal with them, i.e. by force, persuasion, reconciliation, dialogue, etc. No, the medieval Catholic church was not the stereotyped instrument of fear, oppression, and tyranny, and could never enforce its views universally on all of western Europe. Church attendance on the parish level could be so low that in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, Innocent issued an order requiring Christians to take communion at least once a year. So yes. The standard was very far from “everyone believed Catholicism fervently at all times and if they didn’t, they were immediately punished/burned alive.” The idea of burning heretics at the stake wasn’t even introduced until the early fifteenth century, and even then, it required an often-months-long formal church trial and wasn’t just something that the local village priest could hand out on a whim.

There were also monastic orders, and these (at least in Western Europe) were therefore Catholic, but they had different ways of practicing it and what their orders emphasized. The most common order were Benedictines (founded in the 6th century by Saint Benedict), who adhered to the Rule of Saint Benedict, which is still the basis for the following monastic orders. There were also the Cluniacs (founded in 10th-century France at Cluny Abbey) and the Cistercians (founded as rivals to the Cluniacs at the end of the 11th century, also in France). In terms of the crusades, the Cistercians were by far the most involved with/zealously supportive of them (Bernard of Clairvaux was a Cistercian) and took part in directly financing, preaching, and launching the Second, Fourth, and Albigensian Crusades alike. The better-known monastic orders, the Franciscans and Dominicans, weren’t founded until the thirteenth century, on the tail end of the crusades, and didn’t take much direct part in them. The Dominican inquisition, however, took over the business of dealing with the Cathars after the Albigensian Crusade petered out, and their concern was often with heresy thereafter.

Anyway. This has gotten long, as per usual. But I hope this gives you some introductory sense of the religious landscape of medieval Europe, the divisions within Christianity, and the fact that it’s entirely accurate to use “Catholic” and “Christian” interchangeably when discussing Nicky’s crusades-era faith and counterparts. The crusaders themselves did not specify themselves as being Catholic, and the crusades were (at least initially) viewed as a pan-Christian movement, even if eventually fatal tensions with Orthodox Christians left a permanent scar. The idea of identifying the precise denomination of Christianity is also another Protestant Reformation-era innovation, and wasn’t, at least in this case, necessary to do.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Hey! If youve been following me for a while, you might remember me doing ygo live blogs and you might've noticed that I just kinda stopped one day. That's because I sometimes just dont wanna keep watching stuff sometimes even though I really enjoy it, and in this case because Ive been playing minecraft adventure maps and following one (1) mineblr blog who is still into dsmp and I used to be into dsmp, but I dont wanna go back to watching it bc dream is problematic or something and watching it would make me feel awful, so I wanna watch some non-dsmp mcyt stuff.

Specifically, I wanna watch Arazhul and Chaosflo44, who are german youtubers I used to watch all the time in like 2015. They had these 100-episode modded survival minecraft series and I re-watched all 3 of Arazhul's earlier in 2020 because my mental state was totally not collapsing, but I haven't re-watched the 5 (?) they did together yet and I remember really liking those. I haven't even watched all 6 (?) of the series Chaosflo did, because I always liked him less. Like, I obviously can't say what either of them were/are actually like, but their personas were very much Flo (Chaosflo) being the straight man to Roman's (Arazhul) comedic randomness and I always found that pretty boring when they weren't together. I only watched Minecraft Genesis which was the fifth one (i think?) and part of Utopia (sixth one ig) and while I don't remember much of those, I do feel like theyre probably better in terms of story, which is great, bc I do not have the attention span to just watch white boys fuck around in minecraft without a story anymore and Roman's story just ended. Straight up, his third series just ended at ep 97 without even trying to resolve the one continueous plot point throughout these series and I am still unbelievably pissed about it. But yeah, point is, I trust Flo didn't do that and if he did, I guess I get to have my 'by talos this cant be happening'-moment here.

Theres also Paluten, who had a 300 episode modded survival minecraft series with some other guys but I dont think I'll watch that because I found most of it pretty boring even when my standards where much lower, so yeah.

I also kinda wanna watch Hermitcraft bc thats like the only mcyt thing that isnt considered cringe or whatever but again, I dont have the attention span for non-story minecraft stuff like that (and it has like 10000 episodes combined) but it also looks like later seasons have more of a story and im a bit of completionist so yeah...

Also, Im pretty interested in this thing called 3rd Life SMP, but I think I wanna wait a bit before checking it out so its not another thing I get invested in before its cancelled/considered cringe so I have to stop watching it because it makes me feel bad.

So yeah, thats what Im gonna be doing. Im not gonna live blog it, because while there are storylines theyre not really storylines you can follow and are acted out in a conventional way, theyre more like watching someone play through an open world rpg and occasionally do modded survival minecraft stuff. Im definitely talking about it though, so block '#lunas mcyt shit' if you dont wanna see any of that.

Also, I will get back to live blogging ygo eventually, just like, not now.

Have a nice day