#this isn't really positive or negative it just is
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fanart for @qoldenskies's caged lungs fic 💥💥
it isn't based on any scene in particular, just my overall interpretation and visualization of things I felt. mostly bad things. but apparently human brains enjoy that. so let's go
I'm gonna ramble now, buckle up
Frankly that's the first personal piece I've drawn in months, and I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful that I was able to feel emotions and wanted to draw something again
I struggle a lot with empathy and understanding of other's feelings and displaying my own but. I hope people will feel something by looking at it, too
I've got inspired by the old tale that we used to read on literature lessons, altho I for the life of me can't remember the name of it, or anything else from the plot for that matter. There were a competition for retrieving the jug from the bottom of the river, where many men tried and failed, as they couldn't reach it. As you can already tell, it was a reflection of the jug that was hanged on a tree all along.
I liked the concept of something unreachable being seen as being very close to you :) hence the whole water situation
generally water is seen as a positive symbol in art but for me it's cold, slippery, you can't see shit in it, misleading and uncomfortable. go figure
and I really like how CL displays yellow as a color with negative connotation while it's classically being the The Most Happy Coded Color Ever.
while I'm at it I wanted to share a song I associate with caged lungs in particular
just let it die!
I would have liked to talk more about how awesome the fic is and how invested I'm in the plot and characters and how noticing details and parallels makes my brain go brrrr but I'm shy and not really eloquent with my words. I hope you will get the idea anyway. I love it <3
& textless version :0
If you spot any symbolism, it's probably there. or not. up to you really. that's how art works. have fun
#this art is about diluting yourself for the cause that deceptively seems reachable#i feel so embarrassed every time i engage with the fandom#i fight my cringe for my freedom every day#I couldn't NOT include the bird in my art that isnt happening#I couldn't NOT include the skeleton in my art that isnt happening#canary continuity#rottmnt#my nerd self tells me that turtle ribs dont work that way but my artist self tells me fuck it we ball#digital art#art#Spotify
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This may be late because the full Megamind series season(1) is out, but I might as well advertise my favorite spin-off show to you, sad disappointed fans that are mad at DreamWorks for giving Megamind the low budget TV series treatment.
Also, to my Megamind mutuals that actually like the show, please know that this isn't against the show, I still think it's neat, but I still want to give attention to this niche series that I adore so much.
Hey you! Are you a miserable little slug, seeing DreamWorks gave your favorite movie the mediocre low budgeted TV series treatment, and you didn't want to hate watch it for some reason, so you decided to watch a video about the crab man losing his mind over it for your entertainment. Well, what if I told you that the crab man is wrong... about another series. That other series is Big Hero 6. YES! THAT'S RIGHT! BIG HERO 6 (2014) HAD A SPIN-OFF SERIES OF THEIR OWN! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T, YOU SILLY GOOSE. IT'S BEEN OUT FOR 7 YEARS AND BARELY ANYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT IT BEFORE ATHENA P MADE A VIDEO ABOUT IT. Sure, it did have some mentions in some videos, but it didn't have as much as a positive impact as much as the Tangled series did, but also didn't get the negative impact that the Megamind series had. It was just stuck, sitting in limbo, being forgotten by the DTVA, and only remembered by its fans, or what's left of them. But besides all of that, the show is honestly amazing with the writing, the new characters and villains, and the amount of trauma the writers give to Hiro in some episodes. But besides all of that, the show is honestly amazing with the writing, the new characters and villains, and the amount of trauma the writers give to Hiro in some episodes. Great stuff, really. Props to the season 1 villain to get under the heroes skins while still being an entertaining antagonist whenever he's on screen. The same goes for any of the villains. Well, some villains, some of them are kinda annoying in some cases, but most of them are beloved by the community. Now, yes, the series is taking place after the movie, but not instantly with the "What are we" line, but they actually build up to that point with the 2 parter episode that is "Baymax Returns", which is a good first episode, it has it flaws, but that ending is such a banger.
They actually remade the end credits from the movie into the series to make it more consistent with the story and introduce the main villain for the series. Anyway, go check out the series. It's a good watch, I promise you that. Or if you don't feel like it for whatever reason, watch the Athena P video on it. She basically already explained the main storylines from each season if you didn't want to binge watch the series as a whole. Also, a bonus, they have their own shorts series, and they are free on YouTube. Thanks for reading my poorly represented advertisement of my favorite show.
Me watching Megamind 2 trailer:
#big hero 6 the series#big hero 6#megamind#megamind rules#megamind vs the doom syndicate#athena p#athena p mentioned#schaffrillas productions#schaffrillas productions mentioned#hiro hamada
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I try really hard to be positive about the pens because like... what's the point if I'm not, you know? but also the entire online ecosystem is just being pissy at them and the on-ice product is... well... I haven't been on hockey Twitter in weeks because of it and even in these more hidden-away nooks things are just unhappy and it makes me sad because I really want to be joyful and happy and creative in this space and absolutely nothing feels conducive to that right now. anyways oh well this wasn't as cathartic as I'd hoped because this itself isn't keeping things very positive. I'm tired of negativity and sad stuff and I need some juice to write it all away
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y'all i feel it i'm going to have another dissociate from real life and write like insane for 3 months
#personal#death cw#this isn't really positive or negative it just is#same thing happened when my mom passed. got super into reading fics like 24/7.#i just imagine it'll be mostly genshin this time over jjba#we'll see though.
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Wild how we know that Elizabeth Woodville was officially appointed to royal councils in her own right during her husband’s reign and fortified the Tower of London in preparation of a siege while 8-months pregnant and had forces gathering at Westminster “in the queen’s name” in 1483 – only for NONE of these things to be even included, let alone explored, in the vast majority of scholarship and historical novels involving her.
#lol I don't remember writing this - I found it when I was searching for something else in my drafts. But it's 100% true so I had to post it.#elizabeth woodville#my post#Imo this is mainly because Elizabeth's negative historiography has always involved both vilification and diminishment in equal measure.#and because her brand of vilification (femme fatale; intriguer) suggests more indirect/“feminine” than legitimate/forceful types of power#It's still bizarre though-you'd think these would be some of the most famous & defining aspects of Elizabeth's life. But apparently not#I guess she only matters when it comes to marrying Edward and Promoting Her Family and scheming against Richard#There is very lacking interest in her beyond those things even in her traditionally negative depictions#And most of her “reassessments” tend to do diminish her so badly she's rendered utterly irrelevant and almost pathetic by the end of it#Even when some of these things *are* mentioned they're never truly emphasized as they should be.#See: her formal appointment in royal councils. It was highly unconventional + entirely unprecedented for queens in the 14th & 15th century#You'd think this would be incredibly important and highlighted when analyzing late medieval queenship in England but apparently not#Historians are more willing to straight-up INVENT positions & roles for so many other late medieval queens/king's mothers that didn't exist#(not getting into this right now it's too long...)#But somehow acknowledging and discussing Elizabeth's ACTUAL formally appointed role is too much for them I guess#She's either subsumed into the general vilification of her family (never mind that they were known as 'the queen's kin' to actual#contemporaries; they were defined by HER not the other way around) or she's rendered utterly insignificant by historians. Often both.#But at the end of the day her individual role and identity often overlooked or downplayed in both scenarios#and ofc I've said this before but - there has literally never been a proper reassessment of Elizabeth's role in 1483-85 TILL DATE#despite the fact that it's such a sensational and well-known time period in medieval England#This isn't even a Wars of the Roses thing. Both Margaret of Anjou and Margaret Beaufort have had multiple different reassessments#of their roles and positions during their respective crises/upheavals by now;#There is simply a distinct lack of interest in reassessing Elizabeth in a similar way and I think this needs to be acknowledged.#Speaking of which - there's also a persistent habit of analyzing her through the context of Margaret of Anjou or Elizabeth of York#(either as a parallel or a foil) rather than as a historical figure in HER OWN RIGHT#that's also too long to get into I just wanted to point it out because I hate it and I think it's utterly senseless#I've so much to say about how all of this affects her portrayal in historical fiction as well but that's going into a whole other tangent#ofc there are other things but these in particular *really* frustrate me#just felt like ranting a bit in the tags because these are all things that I want to individually discuss someday with proper posts...
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I know it's not a fun thing to think about it, and we have one more arc to think about it, but my worry is that the correct take from this is that the writers just have a different, more negative read on the relationship of Silco and Jinx.
Some interviews with cast members give me the vibe that they weren't that comfortable with the too positive read some fans had on Silco. (ie Ella Purnell for example)
My read on Silco as a character, as a person is that he was a guy who suffered trauma, who hardened, and it was important for his character development to grow to care about Jinx. But he's not the subject of this season. Jinx and Caitlyn and Vi are.
And it's not so much that there isn't enough time to do a montage to show Silco's softer side, it's that from Jinx's point of view, from her character development, Silco just isn't as positive a factor. (for the record, this imo doesn't just affect Silco. With Warwick we also didn't really get much about his torture and what it means to him to become the beast, his role also is heavily dictated by what his existance means for Vi and Jinx, like when the flashbacks of his past seemlessly roll over into the montage becoming about Vi's point of view of her mother and sister)
I read the writers interview with things like:
SCIFI VISION: Yeah, it's definitely going to make a change, it sounds like. Talk about the fact that Jinx doesn't, I guess, at least right now, have anybody, now that Silco's gone, too. I mean, is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? I mean, his influence isn't there, but I do think he actually cared about her, as crazy as he was. CHRISTIAN LINKE: Yeah, I mean, it's the first time in Jinx's life where there isn't someone else telling her who she's supposed to be. In the beginning of her game, it's Vi, her big sister, who she really wants to impress and please. Then it's Silco, who really wants to make her, like, the most potent version of the talented weapons tinkerer that she is.
So, suddenly, the voices are gone, and she has to figure out for herself who she wants to be and what she wants to do, and that is a true first for her.
This reads like they see Jinx being "free" of Silco and figuring herself out as the positive aspect and I think in the show this being represented as her forming relationships and having some happiness and maybe even glipses of "Powder" showing up (when Silco insisted Powder was gone) or Jinx trying to reject being Jinx.
I think there's a good chance that it can't stay that way and Jinx goes back to being Jinx, but the issue is whether that is being portrayed as a bad and tragic thing. Because Act 2 certainly seems to feel wistful about the way Jinx is in it. (that said, there's certainly maybe some meta meaning to be mined on how Viktor's community seems beautiful but it's likely the wrong path/not the real deal)
From the show it's still clear that Jinx cares for Silco, but again in regards to his influence on her it seems to be a more mixed bag. Or even the show leaning towards Silco represents Jinx represents violence and it's something that makes Jinx unhappy and that she tries to back away from a bit.
Now there's a good chance that the death of Isha might put her in a vengeful state and have her go deeper into Jinx as a personality. But again with the open question being whether that makes her happy or actually unhappier.
Right now it feels like going deeper into Jinx seems to be more liked to her losing emotional connection from others (because she's withdrawing deeper into herself and becoming more abrasive with others).
I guess we will see in Act 3 if she goes more Jinx if she comes to enjoy it more and if Silco shows more up in connection to it. (I could see maybe a glimpse of Silco and Jinx's past relationship showing up at like a fundamental transition moment, like giving fully into Jinx or when she is close to death)
I think the problem is that for fans of Silco his relationship with Jinx represents a softening of his hard stance, while the writers from Jinx's point of view seem to mostly be casting as him representing her hardening. Rather than let's say, the softer aspects of their relationship being something that is guiding her out of a dark or hopeless moment.
(which again doesn't mean that Jinx feels negatively towards Silco or that what she takes from it is negativity. And I think there's still plenty of room to tell a story of his having positive influence on her. It starts with her letting go of him and one can argue that having the strenght of let go is an important thing to teach a person (especially if I see Jinx being haunted by the ghosts of Mylo and Claggor being symbols of her inability to let go). And even when Silco fans joke about Jinx's line about how things might have been different if Silco had found the letter, to me that is still a representaiton of Jinx having softer feelings, a softer read on Silco. Maybe it's an unrealistic take on him, but it's a softer take on him rather than her reading him as a negative and oppressive force in her life)
Okay, I'm rambling and not making much sense and we will know soon enough if Silco's role in regards to Jinx becomes more pronounced as she maybe embraces her Jinx side more. Or if the writers have just an a lot more mixed or negative view on his role in her life as it relates to her development. Or if they want to specifically write a story of her emancipating herself from both Vi and Silco and if she makes her choices towards violence or whatever she decides on they want it to be on her own terms rather than just being what Silco wanted. Because they want it to be truly HER story and her choices and not "actually this is the story of badass Silco who formed attachments, sacrificed himself for his daughter and triumphs from beyond the grave because she is finishing what he started because of his badass influence on her".
I guess what I want to say is that I don't think that there being no young Jinx & Silco flashback so far doesn't have to do with lack of time, but them going with a specific characterization for Jinx where her might for whatever reason (too fresh, emancipation, Silco being associated with violence and she is still in the grief phase, her memories not being as positive [people might not like it, but I get the impression if we compare how Jinx interacts with Isha if maybe her childhood with Silco she felt lonely despite his best efforts]) doesn't want to go there yet.
Can I get something off my chest? I was really hoping we'd get more flashbacks of Jinx and Silco together.
their backstory holds so much potential for deeper exploration, expanding on how he raised her after Vander's “betrayal” could have given more insight into how Jinx became who she is, and the complexity of their bond.
Scenes that truly delve into how he cared for her, how their bond was built over time.
I wanted to see those tender, fractured moments where he helped her navigate the chaos in her mind, whether through tough love, quiet support, or simply being there when she had no one else.
Moments where his stern but protective demeanor softened just for her. Maybe a glimpse of him patching her up after a dangerous mission, or the way he'd indulge her quirks when no one else could.
He wasn’t just her dad, he was her anchor in a world that had abandoned her, and it would’ve been fascinating seeing more of how he filled that role. Their bond was so complex god
There’s so much we don’t know, and so much that could have been shown, and I can’t help but feel like more flashbacks could have given it even greater depth.
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kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....
#bungou stray dogs#been thinking a lot about chuuya lately (shocking for me i know (said with no sarcasm truly lmao it is rare for me))#cause of the 15 manga and also playing the fucking jeht quest in genshin impact ugh (where's the one dual genshin bsd fan who Understands)#but like this pressure has been building up for chuuya for so long due to being used and manipulated by all these people#first the sheep then mori then verlaine then still mori now#he was groomed since childhood just like dazai#but unlike dazai he didn't have an oda to help him get out of the mafia........ he's still stuck there#and his personality is different from dazai's. dazai was more self-aware imo (but still a groomed emotionally abused kid don't get me wrong#but chuuya's whole thing is needing to belong and wanting a leader to be loyal to but ending up in positions of leadership himself#which makes him feel pressured but he accepts and stifles any negative feelings just because he wants to belong#and all this crushed him with the events in the light novels and yeah he went through character growth but he's...... Still In The Mafia...#and that fucking scene asagiri added to the cannibalism stage play i don't think hardly anyone even knows about bc IT'S NOT DISCUSSED ANYMO#where mori emotionally manipulates him with the flags!!! and it deeply hurts him!!! and he presumably deals with that shit all the time!!!#it is WORRISOME. it WORRIES ME okay.#chuuya doesn't have anyone who can save him from the mafia (dazai is in no position to okay; it's all he can do just to try to save himself#and it's so so scary. it spells awful things for him.#didn't asagiri say he'd have a rough path or something??? and he added that fucking scene in the play!!! it haunts me!!#i fully expected this shit to hit a turning point in the meursault arc but we can't have nice things i guess#and as for kunikida a;lskdfl (took me this long to get to him oop) literally the ending of Entrance Exam (the novel) is just#One Big Foreshadowing for Kunikida's downfall#he's compared to the azure king for a reason. Sasaki saw the azure king in him for a reason. it's fucking worrying!!!!!#there hasn't really been anything like that since in the manga (just like for chuuya lol ugh) but he's TERRIBLE at coping with his trauma#and it only gets more apparent once shit hit the fan in the doa/hunting dogs/meursault arc#it's not good!!! i'm worried for kunikida too!!!!#even if the manga isn't focusing on this these worries are always in the back of my mind man#both kunikida and chuuya are doomed to hit some kind of breaking point eventually and i await those moments with dread yet anticipation#i want dazai to be able to save kunikida from the despair being too good a person brings the way he couldn't save oda#and chuuya.... if we get a scene with him & mori mirroring the one in dark era where dazai finds out that mori orchestrated the kids' death#oh man i think i'll fucking die (give it to me i need to cry)
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revisited some parts of deh i hadn't in a while via obc boots, mostly kicked off by audio of an aus tour show, & it's like now hang on lol reevaluating the whole of heidi's material / that arc like i have been too generous what in the....kind of worked backwards from good for you b/c for that song i've Been like sympathetic re: alana & jared's sections while like Shrug at heidi like i'm on evan's side there really. but the whole thing is like, sympathy for heidi's feelings aside, i'm on evan's side b/c like yeah heidi has feelings & insecurities too but it's not the same peer to peer like fellow unpopular couple of students as parent to child & i'm looking at it all like The Whole Thread is heidi's insecurities as A Mother & the demand is on evan all the time to not just Not cause her insecurity but also assuage ones that have nothing to do with him, e.g. what's he supposed to say about digs at his dad's wife
& like really going over that First Scene i.e. opening scene post evan's soliloquy i.e. anybody have a map it's like. sure only increasingly like Oh Boy when evan not being able to order pizza despite the online option is met with the "you Need to be able to order dinner for yourself" ft. that he should be "too old for this" (disability....grow up) (not a direct quote but rather yknow the "you're a senior in high school, evan" intro) & nothing about like, support or alternatives, certainly nothing about it being Okay that he couldn't. just that he Has to do this thing this way (why. or else what.) & also just the simple fact that evan has been honest about "something wrong with him" / something he did that he figures she wouldn't like & gotten this wholly negative response about that just being Unacceptable to hear, regardless of the "positive" pivot like you can do it re: school, just must not be Trying enough, just must be evan's own attitude or something else about him, the letters had better help....& all this revisiting inspired by beau woodbridge evan's delivery after heidi says the line about Her Not Wanting To Hear (framed about Her Feelings if evan were to Tell her about this) about evan having no friends, & like the delivery of "neither do i??" like a sort of nonplussed indignation that is a kind of "how do you think *i* feel about it??" like no yeah what about evan's feelings about him dealing with his problems here, the one not having dinner, not having friends, not Not having anxiety, etc. like obviously heidi like every person ever has feelings & problems too but it's that the parent's problems are supposed to be Made Up For by the child somehow, while evan's problems are framed as Being A Problem for his mom, how she feels about Knowing about it, try harder please okay evan....but cue, yknow, how she resents evan feeling any responsibility for Her Problems in gfy yknow not insofar as she's been embarrassed to tell him like "yeah money is a problem" when it's been about pushing him to get scholarships but rather when the murphys know (maybe just via evan implying they're Not Rich to zoe after zoe is like ah, to be poor....) that heidi will need Financial Support for college for evan & then heidi like i'm not That poor & to take money would be wrong (always the reminder heidi does not know everything re: evan & connor isn't true either)
which, that last part of her dinner at the murphys pre gfy was really this time hitting like ://// whew okay. all of it always grating lmao but like, "i don't want evan to get the idea etc" like ma'am he's sitting right here? he's seventeen? can't just Declare the ideas evan will or won't absorb even though like yeah also clearly it's about her pride as A Good Mom being wounded & just putting it on evan by expressing it that way like no i have to be A Good Mom via my example, is why i must decline....& like i'm sure it can all be softened depending on how heidi is played but still like, this is about her Full Story / Material, & just what is written lol like even if she was more [pensive emoji single tear] in delivery or something, vs watching the obc like full anger & contempt by this point & i'm like yeah this Shouldn't be familiar if the excuse of like "well heidi is messing up in this Special Occasion, an outlier" really went that far. or was actually out of line w/how she acts other times. or how this all resolves. but heidi storming out While lashing out at evan / blaming him like my god lmfaooo & like. speaking of "do you think the murphy parents did read between the lines & think evan & connor are secret gay high school lovers" like gee evan having no problem moving in to the murphy household, keeping secrets from his mom like his ostensible epic friendship w/connor, not talking aobut her or really trying on his own to involve her, being fairly alarmed when Surprise Dinner With Your Mom, heidi acting like That??? like "do you think the murphy parents read between the lines to think evan is abused by his parent" i mean like lol lmfaooo on both points like heternormativity? the normativity of abuse & parents Owning their child as well? in the murphy household? but you know. of course no deh is not supposed to be about that but i'm like, uh oh, whole time i was like "well my own perspective based on what i learned from personal experience & then learned About such experiences isn't that relevant at least to heidi b/c it's supposed to be that she's Not Like That at the end of the day" but i'm like is it in effect though lol, is it really that different In Essence if not also like "yep the way heidi acts is just directly familiar sometimes. maybe often. or always" difference in degree like. plus just that how often is whatever particular lens/perspective like Useless to apply
anyway & that fight in the leadup to gfy is wild & just like further illuminating re: how the whole time, from the first scene, it's like okay to heidi what's most important in her motivations is Her Insecurity about how anything about evan supposedly reflects on her being a mom, like. again that heidi has no idea everything about evan & connor isn't true & she's just going sicko mode at evan b/c the murphys Aren't His Family, yknow, She is, & that entitlement that's supposed to come with it, evan can't have these other adults acting Parently towards him re: money & housing & dinners & feeling fond of him or anything, all circumventing her status as His Mother....the whole "sorry i can't give you more than that, shit" "well it's not my fault other people can" like yeah sorry about your feelings heidi, yeah it's not "nice" of evan to say that but i'm not like yes evan must never even think things that aren't nice(tm) much less say them, that again like even if we sympathize w/heidi there b/c obviously yeah she'd be hurt & feel insecure. even if we suppose that was mean of evan. i'm like well yeah he's right. just setting aside the apparent universal desire for a life as closely approximating the brady bunch as possible, it's like hey yeah look evan's been getting dinners this way, re: him not ordering a pizza at the start of a show. turning out to be less important like "well at least you've been eating, good" than evan not doing so through the Proper efforts to Become Normal(tm) & of course that like. coming from another mom staying home making him food is unacceptable b/c she imagines this is supplanting her / making her the Bad Mom vs this Good Mom & then taking it out on evan to make her feel Good Enough(tm) like truly just the usual fallback refrain of "ohh sorry i'm not perfect / have feelings / have problems" which is true for everyone ever but yknow evan is the one having to Defend his feelings & problems & imperfections against the fallout of "failing" to be "responsible" for mitigating or fulfilling heidi's & she's the one who can break out "i'm your mother" whereas evan's less overtly declared "i'm your son" about her potentially failing Him is what gets met with more contempt & "ohh sorry i'm not perfect & have feelings & problems" & her starting off Good For You. great
& like the way All That illustrates, like the way evan getting dinner now through a different now available avenue is, to heidi, more about her own feelings than about [evan gets dinner now], like just that expanded to how it's not Okay that evan's problems seem to be getting better / he's getting more support / he's doing better or anything as soon as heidi becomes insecure about her not having the role she wants in it. the entire thread about her being bothered about evan not telling her things, lying about things, hiding things, like yeah evident that she Is worried about him but same as she's evidently worried about him in the first scene, when, again, we Did see him share something honestly with her & she was like "UGH evan jeez i Hate that you told me this" & then her input is to tell him to Get Good, yknow, must be his own failures, get on that. gosh why would he keep anything from her. & then yknow we have that line later on, evan like you don't know me & heidi like "i thought i did" (contempt again) & like the main issue of this not being like "oh no if i Don't know him or about his problems then i'm not supporting him like i thought i was / he's not getting the support Overall i thought he was" but rather like i can't believe evan is doing this to me / her insecurities & evan's "responsibility" for them, again, rather than yknow. evan's wellbeing regardless of her personal feelings? & we're ready for resolution after heidi inadvertently reads his diary to realize he was that sad & it's like. even if he wasn't That Sad like none of that response was okay. at any point lol like it's still the issue of her dynamic with him where evan is In Charge Of how heidi feels & that obviously she can act on this in the ways she can & what can evan do about anything but avoid her / not share things / idk indeed move in with this other family lol, sorry about the pretenses (also obviously like. murphy parents not doing that much better. certainly larry like, are you kidding? never changes his mind that all connor's problems were connor's fault & Failings & now his reaction to it is about facing any insecurity & Rejecting It as no i'm always right & just have to hold out forever. vs that zoe is also bearing the brunt of being Trapped In The Family(tm) but cynthia dares to be like "no, i feel like i failed my dead son" & "no, i don't feel someone 'has to be the bad guy' who tramples boundaries")
like speaking of boundaries. ppl having always pointed out "uh oh, heidi's not good with those" or the point like "in gfy heidi's also mad about the rejection by her ex-husband & just putting that over her fight w/evan" like not beating the [parent making their child the one in charge of them & their feelings & actions] allegations.......
& you know, the resolution like "ohh you were sadder than i knew" like okay Now that matters instead of heidi Just being insecure that he wasn't sharing this with her already, thus the important part being how that makes her feel like a bad mom vs like, how evan is actually doing & her actual role in this beyond what makes her feel best, personally? or that like oh i'm Not going to not be here, physically, in this house....like okay. but what about the actual dynamic you have while around him & you will always be around him, b/c like, has that changed from the start. how is heidi going to offer support re: evan Feeling Like This that's different from "you Need to order pizza and Need to get your cast signed, Just Do It" or that b/c she doesn't want to hear otherwise like well then of course evan won't tell her, or maybe a therapist if that's not confidential, or other people if it'll get back to his mom, or the internet if that'll get back to his mom which i guess it will. is evan gonna be not in charge of her feelings anymore. i'm just like yeah evan find yourself in college sure get outta there idk if you're even rude along the way. & obv shoot larry into the sun
#deh#just roasting heidi here really but i was like now hang on fr lol. simmering >:/ now revisited like. jeez#also sure realizing the Whole Other Thread like that a whole key way of interpreting zoe so anything makes sense is like#i'm going ''oh no zoe can't express having negative emotions with her parents either b/c disinterest / That's Not Helpful''#or then potentially even at school b/c she's supposed to be properly mourning or whatever#then having that moment with evan being ''rude'' & zoe like oh finally :) negative emotions expressed from you too#& i'm like yeah sounds like a great way for them to bond. except then that goes away & Only Us going i love our Positive Feelings Onlyness#realizing when zoe is talking about ''we're not the brady bunch'' like oh but she was supposed to wish they Were#not that my feeling bad & not having support is being trampled & needs unmet; it's that i wish i only had good feelings?#like sure i Guess the latter can be felt at all or a lot but it just overwrites the former being at all relevant like okay#& then that i suppose the same is going on with evan. i feel bad & i'm not supported & i can't even express this#but what really matters is i wish things were perfect anyway such that this would only be Irrelevant; forget things changing really#like if it's not Well Isn't This Nice enough to have a Positive heart to heart & embrace with your mom on the couch; guess you're screwed#should've never written that text post now i'm at three in the afternoon
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The final volume would have some extra pages, wouldn't it?
What I would want it to include would be them having Aqua reincarnated and watching Ruby on stage as a little boy, with his loving family, maybe with his mother in that life. He never got to live for himself;; He needs to have one for himself because what is this?;; It's as if it's better if he didn't get reincarnated, his life was used as support for others.
It'd also be a nice..addition since he was older than sarina in his first life, the same age in the second, and now he'll be a lot younger in his third. In all three lives, he'll get to cheer for Ruby but this time he'll be able to without any type of worry.
If they're not going to bring him back they should at least do this for the sake of his soul and, for the readers who really cared for him. Plus it'd make Ruby really happy because she wouldn't really care what Aqua looks like or what he is as long as it's him. I see them being each other's favorite idols(oshis)in a sense. Wish Aqua had more development with Kana personally because that's who he's liked but since the focus should be on Ruby(her internal turmoils or development, her mentality is NOT illustrated in depth. It feels so hollow) if the extra pages were to be like this, it'd make a better resolution.(I hate it here though because I just don't see why Aqua had to die!; It doesn't contribute to the story in a positive way and I see the story being miles better with him being alive!! This is just cruel!)
Ai and Hikaru are my favs but unless they draw them as deities of the entertainment industry...I rather they don't touch them. But I'd like a page or two of Ai but in that case; I feel they must show what she feels about this whole situation and they wouldn't BE able to do that at all. Her boyfriend and son like that? And I don't think she'll quite enjoy how her daughter's become so much either because, Ai had a desire to expose her truths. Ruby was already quite doing that as her personality was different from hers, but I see what's become of her being a defense mechanism or recoil. "Lying" on stage was Ai's thing, never Ruby's up till the last chapter. It's so different from how Aqua phrased her as as he was very hopeful about his sister, saying she's different from him or his dad. What Hikaru said to Aqua turned out to be all true!!!;
They can't write out her reaction towards all that in such little space. They had 50 pages in the last ep and it was so hollow and explained so little. They weren't able to bring out the depths of a character's mind with 50, so they will not be able to do it within a shorter amount of page space. Which is heartbreaking because they were so good with it. They were good with expressing Ai's!
So realistically, I wish for what I've written above. I can't even wish for my favs to appear because I can't trust the writing haha;; and; Aqua really...they can't do this to Aqua after having used him as a protagonist. They should at least do this for him and the fans.
#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#aqua hoshino#that whole idea about Aqua picturing his dad somehow “manipulated” Ryosuke into killing Ai just irked me out and I couldn't buy it#but I cared for him. I wanted him to live;; just what makes it better for him to die? the negatives far outweigh the positive if there's an#ruby hoshino#this really isn't about the ship but I appreciate their bond#I actually picture this scenario being available in canon too. I can draw it out#spoilers#aquaruby#(as in dynamic)
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Switches happen when they need to happen. The same way a regular Joe puts on a different face for his boss and his best friend and wouldn't act at a party the way he acts in a public library, we react to situations with switches and fronts that correspond to our circumstances and needs at the time.
For our system personally, a switch is nearly always a welcome thing. We're a stable system with high levels of trust and cooperation between parts, even parts that have higher dissociative barriers between one another - in our case, these are rarely the result of lacking trust or not liking the other part, but about the part's own perception of what they need to keep hidden and private for their stability, and their perception of what they need to keep to themselves to preserve the stability and wellbeing of themselves as well as the rest of the system.
So while for some systems, switching can be about an internal struggle or it can feel malicious or threatening or scary, this isn't the case for a system like ours, where things internally are alright and parts communicative. Most of the time when a switch happens for us, it's because
1) someone is better at handling the situation than the part that was fronting before them. Part B who knows how to navigate the challenge better naturally grows closer to front or is called upon to help with it, and Part A steps aside to let them deal with it. Part A's comfort and confidence in the situation aren't as high as B's anyway, so they feel relieved when someone who's better equipped deals with it instead.
2) a situation has turned frightening or upsetting, and a protector part switches to the front to manage boundaries or secure a retreat. Part A will be happy someone is there to back them up and help them, and feels secure and safe in having this backup take front, much like an older sibling taking a stand for their younger ones, or a friend standing up for their own.
3) there's a thing that really appeals to Part B. Part B is excited and naturally shifts to the front, while Part A sits back and takes a nap. Things that are appealing can mean anything from interests to situations to people; for example, a friend may draw out a specific part they're closest with solely because the part wants to spend time with the friend and feels excited to have this opportunity. (This also affects how outsiders perceive the system: most people think of our system as the host's, but the host is rarely there at all when we're alone, or perfectly comfortable with our company.)
Switches aren't inherently, or even nearly overwhelmingly, a negative occurrence - I'd argue that they're inherently either totally value neutral, or even positive. Yes, even with the associated nuisances, as long as those are worked on and managed. I'm not here to say that landing in a three year dissociative fugue and finding yourself in New York married to a stranger is a great, positive experience, but rather that the way our minds work as people with dissociative disorders is not bad for us or those around us, and that these tag-along symptoms such as blackouts, generic amnesia, all the way down to extremes like fugues, are not inherently tied to our switches, proven by the fact that they can be eliminated while the switching itself persists. Switching is just how we react to our circumstances. The bad comes from associated disordered symptoms, not the phenomenon itself - and in fact, can occur without switching. Yes, a non-system can enter a dissociative fugue, too, and a system can switch without experiencing amnesia or distress.
It can still be frightening to people without DID to witness, though, and that's fair, but it's a prejudice that they need to work on their own ends, and should not be or become the burden of the systems they deal with. Often, this fear is due to the stigma associated with the disorders that cause switching - most notably, serial killer fiction tropes like the multiple personality murderer, or portrayals of "demonic possession" that draw heavily from and misrepresent symptoms of dissociative conditions, etc. Our existences are rarely realistically dangerous to anybody else, or even ourselves, though depressive symptoms/disorders and patterns of self-harm behaviour/suicidal ideation are common enough for all people with trauma.
Someone else's disability should not be frightening to abled people. The reasons why that might happen anyway are extremely rarely the fault of the disabled person themselves, and almost always the result of ableism and prejudice in our societies.
I think... something I want singlets to understand is that switching, by and large, isn't inherently a bad thing. It can happen at inopportune times, or come with amnesia, or have any number of other complications, yes – but for many of us it's just part of being a system (any negative effects included). Switching is just something that happens, whether it's involuntary, voluntary, or some mixture of the two. You don't have to pity us for switching. You don't have to worry if we tell you that we feel like we're going to switch. It's just something that happens, and if we're telling you, it's because we trust you to know why we may be out of sorts for a bit before we find our footing with the new fronting situation. It's alright. It's just a part of life for most of us, so don't stress about it.
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how are you?
Honestly I've been better. Thanks for asking!
#have you 3ver just wanted to stop existing? like you wanna be dead but you don't want to kill yourself. that#also I guess I'm a lazy person. so much so that I've been thinking about going the easy route if things don't work out the way I want them#but enough of that. enough depressing thoughts. it's not even noon#ask#anonymous#not art#text#I like saying what I really feel and answer questions truthfully but sometimes it's 'impolite'.#'no I'm not doing good' is not really an answer that's considered polite#I get it that sometimes we ask things out of idk. politeness?#but if you don't want to hear a negative response as much as a positive one just don't ask#I'll never understand social cues. just say what you wanna say and don't make me guess what you might mean#this isn't about you anon don't worry. it's a general observation I have made with interactions I've had in the past
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there's so much to unpack from this stream
#him and mariana are having a rough patch#enough to get charlie to try and cheat on him#charlie is willing to marry anyone bc he feels so so fucking alone#especially in the face of everyone around him finding love or whatever#he is trying so hard to get out of that depression void of feelings that he's willing to make himself feel bad things if thats what it take#(and isn't that relatable)#he is so fucking desperate for attention#positive or negative#he doesn't care#he doesn't even really love cellbit#he met him once#he just is longing for connection#and feeling#and for the loneliness and the emptiness and the nothing to stop#fuck#also he's getting framed for murder which is fun#qsmp#slimecicle#buggy thoughts#silver screen
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oc deep dive questionnaire - dhes edition
tagged by @sikoi (ty you for the tag!! <3)
-what common/uncommon fear do they have? tbh, there's not much that scares Dhes. when he was younger, he feared rejection, but that fear has lessened significantly as he's gotten older & become more comfortable with himself
-do they have any pet peeves? he's pretty particular about housekeeping, so his biggest pet peeves tend to be related to that. but he especially hates when Kelly leaves his shoes lying around instead of putting them away (bc Dhes *always* trips over them lol)
-what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom? CDs (lots of CDs), a tamagotchi (he brings it to work. it never stays alive long), & notes that he & Kel wrote back & forth to each other during class throughout their teen years
-what do they notice first in a person? whether or not they look directly at him/look him in the eyes
-on a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance? probably 8 or 9
-do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? fight - Dhestyn's a fighter through & through
-do they come from a big family/are they a family person? his family is pretty average, size-wise. his family dynamic is very eccentric, so whether or not he's a "family person" is kind of a complicated answer. he's not particularly close with anyone in his immediate family, but he does talk to them & visit them often
-what animal represents them best? a dog - generally, he's very friendly & loyal, but in the right circumstances, he does tend to bite
-what is a smell that they dislike? burning meat
-have they broken any bones? if so, how? several, mostly his fingers & wrists though. he's broken them in skateboarding accidents, during fights with other kids when he was in middle/high school, & by simply making poor decisions due to his reckless nature :-)
-how would a stranger likely describe them? i actually kind of explained this on his character page, but to sum it up people tend to see Dhes as either very charming or very unsavory
-are they a night owl or a morning bird? both! Dhes has a horrific sleep schedule. he'll regularly stay up until 1-2am & he wakes up at 5 o'clock every morning. though if he had to choose one, he prefers mornings
-what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love? he really likes cinnamon. he's not a big fan of seafood.
-do they have any hobbies? yes! skateboarding, hacky sack, making playlists & listening to music, working out (weights/jogging), fashion (read: "fashion"), & ruining his hair, to name a few.
-boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises? Dhestyn always appreciates a nice surprise
-do they like to wear jewelry? if so, what is their favorite piece? yes, the man loves to accessorize. his favorite piece of "jewelry" is actually a necklace Kel gave to him when they were fifteen - it's a simple black cord with one of Kel's old guitar picks on it.
-do they have neat or messy handwriting? somewhere in the middle - it's legible, at least.
-what are two emotions they feel the most? love & anger
-do they have a favorite fabric? not particularly, no
-what kind of accent do they have? standard PNW accent when speaking English, though occasionally he'll have hints of a more Mexican-American accent, which he picked up from his mom's side of the family
tagging: @mobwhim, @lynzishell, @vicciouxs, @teddybearsims, & @salemssimblr (feel free to ignore ofc!)
#tag game#dhestyn#myedits#been really into doodling on my edits lately. idk why.#i was going to keep my answers concise but then i thought. fuck it#today we ramble#regarding his fear of rejection: it hasn't gone away entirely. it just like. doesn't have a hold on him the way it used to yk#he still very much has that like. underlying fear that he doesn't belong anywhere. he just tries to ignore it#it was actually really hard to think of stuff dhes would keep in his bedroom that isn't obvious (like. a bed lol)#bc 1 - dhes keeps a really clean room & house#literally nothing is out of place#& 2 - the boys live in a studio apartment. so like. technically their couch is in their bedroom. & so is everything else they own#the emotion question was also really hard to answer bc dusty is an emotional guy#like........ everything he feels is x100 & it is very difficult to distinguish whether those feelings are positive or negative#bc his reactions to both are more or less the same lol#also i did use a font for his handwriting. i've been trying to find handwriting fonts for all my OCs but#i've only been able to find some for the boys#n e way.#that's all.
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Thank you a lot for contributing to the discussion!
And yes, undoubtedly Quirk counseling is very likely based on the idea of teaching children to show the expected Tatemae, because, according to Japanese people, ‘Deru kui ha utareru’ (出る杭は打たれる “The nail that sticks out must be hammered down”) but in the whole fallout of Quirk counseling there's more than Himiko just behaving in an 'inappropriate way' and needing to learn which is the correct way to act, in fact it ends up being judged a curse by Heteromorphs as well, so I'll say it's also based on racistic pregiudices and the idea of 'impure blood'.
We see that Joki Joki doesn't manage to do something inappropriate with his Quirk, his 'sin' which lead him to being imprisoned is his Quirk was different than the one of his family.
Quirk discrimination started, after all when Quirk owner were accused of being a subbranch of humanity and the 'Meta' people ended up being considered freaks.
My guess is that the Quirk counseling of pre-AFO defeat is still tied to this, to the fact that not only it has to push people to drop 'undesirable' behaviours, but that he pressures who's different by using the idea if they don't conform they're subhumans, freaks, and where it's just impossible to conform (Shouji can't really cut his extra arms for example, nor Shuuichi can not look reptilian) they place in them the idea they are to blame.
Uraraka's new Quirk counseling might be expanded to include also children who instead 'fit the norm', so as to teach them to be more accepting, that the 'tatemae' they've to show toward who's different isn't one that pushes them to run away in disgust but one that accepts the differences.
Also Ochako's words previously implied that Himiko's Quirk wasn't a freak one because since she could share blood with people, she could help with transfusions, like how Eri's Quirk isn't a freak one (even though her mother thought so) because she could heal people, so it can be that the idea is that now Quirk counseling would focus on the positivity of different Quirks as well, not just tell kids they've to hide what's different because it doesn't conform but that their Quirk can do something good if used in this and this way so as to help them find a way to conform not by suppressing themselves but by using their differences positively (it's Himiko's speech at the end, how she could have lived better if she had known she could take and give blood, instead than being told solely she couldn't take it and being left unaware she could give it).
However all of the above are just speculations.
The truth is the series don't explain how exactly Quirk counseling was administered (if to all the class together or to each child in private), if children who had problems with their Quirk could have a level of privacy or if said problems were tossed in the open with a negative judgement attached (completely possible as in Japanese schools teachers often saw bullying as a way to force kids to correct their behaviour) and so on... nor it explains which exactly is the reform Uraraka brought beyond 'expanding' it.
So yes, the fact that western readers might not know about honne and tatemae or how the counseling work in Japan, nor be familiar with ideas of outcasts like eta and hinin makes undoubtedly harder to figure out how Quirk counseling work... but the fact remains that the whole thing with Quirk counseling was pretty vague, as it got mentioned a total of 6 times in the manga (Chap 22, 165, 226, 370, 392 and 460) often without going in deep with it, the last time just praising its expansion without really explaining how this would suddently make it work.
As I said in my post having more cultural knowledge can surely help, but I still think the story would have benefitted of more expansion/development on this side since it's apparently one of the important improvements... but like the whole Heteromorph situation instead it ended up being mostly sidelined so it ended up feeling less impactful... though, of course, that's just me. Again thank you for the contribute!
There something I don’t really get: Uraraka said to have expanded quirk counseling along with her group, but wasn’t that one of the factors that sent Toga spiraling: counseling only be used to push people with certain quirks to be “normal”? I agree on the surface level it’s a noble cause and the closest we got to specific actions being taken by the characters helping to fix society, but if it’s just expanded on and not reformed wouldn’t it just push people like toga feel excluded again since nothing is actually changed in the system? I don’t remember, but did Toga tell Uraraka her time in quirk counseling?
Let's start in reverse.
No, Himiko didn't tell Uraraka about her time with Quirk counseling. If Uraraka figured it out that it was the people in Quirk counseling that tolkd Himiko to stop grinning, kudos to her.
There's to say Curious knew Himiko went to Quirk counseling, so Uraraka might have also discovered about it later. It would be nice if Uraraka tried to learn more about Himiko even after her death.
Now... what's Quirkc counseling and what's wrong with it?
According to Curious:
CURIOUS '“Kosei” COUNSELING', jita rikai no yugami o kyōseishi shakaisei no suri awase o hodokosu jōsō kyōiku (read: PROGRAM). Mochiron, kanpekina PROGRAM de wa naishi, kojinsa o yori tsuyoku kanjite shimau to iu mondai o kakaete imasu. Chi o nomi henshin suru, umaretsuki motsu sono inō ni yotte anata wa “chi” ni tsuyoi kyōmi o hikareru yō ni natta. Shikashi shin no fukō wa “akogare” to iu dareshimo ga daku futsū no kanjō. Chi to akogare kamiatte shimatta nitsu no yōso wa tōtei shakai ni ukeire rareru MONO de wa nakatta. Dakara, anata wa FUTA o shita. Jishin o yokuatsu shi kamen o tsukutta.' キュリオス「『〝個性〟カウンセリング』、自他理解の歪みを矯正し社会性の擦り合わせを施す情操教育(プログラム)。もちろん、完璧なプログラムでは無いし、個人差をより強く感じてしまうという問題を抱えています。血を飲み変身する、生まれつき持つその異能によってあなたは〝血〟に強い興味を引かれるようになった。しかし真の不幸は〝憧れ〟という誰しもが抱く普通の感情。血と憧れ噛み合ってしまった2つの要素は到底社会に受け入れられるモノではなかった。だから、あなたはフタをした。自信を抑圧し仮面を作った。」 Curious "Quirk counseling, it's an emotional education (read: program) to correct distortions in self-understanding and others, and to adjust for socialization. Of course, it's not a perfect program, and it has the problem of making individual differences even more apparent. Your innate ability to transform by drinking blood has made you very interested in "blood". However, your true misfortune is "admiration", a normal emotion that anyone can have. The two elements that go together, blood and admiration, were never going to be accepted by society. So you put a lid on it. You suppressed your confidence and made a mask."
Basically the purpose of Quirk counseling is to help people harmoniously cope with their Quirk and society... but the downside of Quirk counseling is it doesn't really work toward having people accept themselves and be accepted by society, but just tries to remove whatever undesirable trait by suppressing it.
In Himiko's case they told her to stop acting 'abnormal'. I don't know how they handle Heteromorphs but the Heteromorphs have a bone to pick with Quirk counseling as they can't really hide/suppress their appearance.
Now... how expanding it might help something that doesn't work?
It can be that the whole expanding was a typing mistake, early on in chap 22 it was implied all the kids in elementary school receive Quirk counseling, so what does it mean to expand it if all the kids have access to it when they turn 6?
Or it can be that 'expanding' refers to expanding the resources put into Quirk counseling. If more people work at it with more time they might figure out which problems it has and help the children better.
In fact if few resources are put in the program, of course the program will rush to a quick and easy fix that will often not work in the long run. However, if more resources are put in it, people might put more efforts in helping the kids.
Said all this, Quirk counseling was really not well expanded or explained in the story, and mostly tossed in.
It might make sense for Japanese readers as Japanese schools have a counseling program (it seems schools in USA also have it but their own is different) and it turned out this Japanese counseling program needs reform so Japanese readers might see the Quirk counseling program as based on the counseling program of their schools, think it work the same and guess it also have the same problems.
For who's not Japanese, especially if they don't come with a school with a counseling program, the whole thing feels like something Horikoshi tossed in, left it mostly unexplained and generally showed it was bad/poorly working.
We don't see value in it because the story hardly showed us it had value (with Himiko it ruined her, with the Masegaki kids it didn't work, with the Heteromorphs it made them feel worse) so an ending that says 'yay, let's expand it' feels like they want to expand something that makes more harm that good out of nowhere... but again, this might be because we miss the cultural context in which said program is meant to be read.
Still, I really wish Horikoshi had developed it more because while it had potential, it mostly went untapped so it lost it's potential when it got mentioned again at the end of the story.
Thank you for your ask! I love to talk about BNHA! I hope my reply was somewhat of some help!
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kinda wild how people could be using common internet abbreviations, slang, and stuff to express what is essentially the same concept, but are interpreting them in slightly different ways. I mean, that is generally how language works, but it's still fascinating to think about.
#for example if I do a ghdfg type keysmash that's like doing a snicker. it sorta sounds like one#something that either catches you off guard and causes a spluttering kind of laugh or just a slight one#and I'm sure a lot of other people do it for the same reason#but also someone could just be keysmashing those letters as in: ''my response to this is laughing so hard I can't type straight''#or ''there's no actual word to accurately describe my emotion so I'm just typing gibberish to illustrate surprised amusement''#and like a ''lmaoooo'' isn't even really a laugh as much as it's a long groan or sigh you do#either when exasperated or slightly scandalised in a positive amused way or negative shocked way depending on the context it's used.
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I called it, Ruan Mei is deranged and shady as hell
#I love her#I also said that she the light cone and the light cone description and her last eidolon and some other things#made her feel almost nonexistent or barely there‚ but not in a Herta and Xueyi kind of way#And it seems I was right too? That line‚ 'Life is so colourful‚ but... it has nothing to do with me' reads to me like that for now#Really digging the way Dr. Ratio contrasts or parallels her. How she talks about keeping a serene mask until the situation is ascertained#and talking about emotions and feelings being able to be analysed and dissected‚ the root of which found#In the promotional video immediately after she says the thing about masks‚ Ratio appears talking precisely about the same thing#It's so cool how both also take advantage in their fighting style of the weaknesses of the enemies#Ruan Mei with the weakness break effect and Ratio with the debuffs#Ruan Mei didn't seem as scornful of Ratio and the Guild as Herta seemed but Ruan Mei is also less open#The leaked line of Ratio about her (I can't recall exactly but it wasn't anything we haven't seen in the new Ruan Mei short‚#something about how the true intentions of her research are not what she stated and that she is actually the most ambitious member#of the Genius Society)‚ while not truly negative‚ doesn't seem positive either. But he perhaps isn't as callous#as he is when he talks about Herta and Screwllum. Or perhaps he is being even more so#I'm looking forwards to their interactions and the development of the relationship between the Guild and the Society as a whole#But also the dynamics and problems inside the Genius Society itself#They all seem to have their all personal and selfish agenda which could be source of clash‚ whereas the Guild seems more people driven#Even if they have at times pretty ugly methods. Not they the Genius Society doesn't#Ajfjsjd anyway I wonder if the Ratio and Ruan Mei parallels and contrasts will be truly explored or if it will be left in the air#just to sell either character more#But it seems sooo intriguing and so shady and I'm so into how two faces or representation of the same Aeon or under the same drive#could approach a similarish issue. Or how could one view the other. And how in general all that will develop#I've been looking forwards to more insight on the Guild/Genius Society confrontation since very early on haha#I am loving Ruan Mei *sighs* deranged#I talk too much
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