#this isn't me talking down about it but like. well.

[shdwstorm]

A red pickup truck drove through the forest, following the weaving roads. Eventually the pavement turned to dirt, and the truck pulled off to the side. Four people hopped out, unloaded their camping equipment from the back, and walked deeper into the forest.

"We're awfully far from civilization, what if one of us gets hurt?" Andromeda asked.

"Getting hurt isn't the real issue, I have no WiFi out here!" Eliza whined, raising her phone into the air like that would somehow miraculously connect it.

"I'm with Andromeda, I don't want to die out in the middle of nowhere," Rob muttered.

"Come on, guys, it'll be fine!" Skylar reassured them. "There's a tiny little town not far from here that we can visit tomorrow, and I promise you the view from our campsite will make it all worth it."

Skylar was right. Their campsite overlooked an enormous lake, with a town on the other side. The four quickly set up camp, and as the sun started to set the started a fire to roast hot dogs and marshmallows over.

Hours later, the fire was out and they were asleep in their tents. All of them, except for Skylar. He stood in the treeline, watching the camp. Another batch of disgusting humans, dispatched without anyone noticing, he thought with a wicked grin. His body began to change. He grew thick, black fur, long claws, and enormous antlers. His head was a deer skull and he stood almost ten feet tall. He roared and knocked down the tent with Andromeda in it, knowing that no one was close enough to hear.

Andromeda screamed when she saw what was towering over her, and the two quickly scrambled out of their own tents as well. Rob screamed, and Eliza started hurriedly snapping pictures of the monster.

"You filthy humans will DIE for your crimes against nature! Your blood will water these forests for generstions and we will rule this continent once more!" Skylar roared, his voice distorted by his true form.

"Wait! We're not humans!" Andromeda admitted. Rob and Eliza stared in complete confusion and horror.

Skylar blinked at her, too confused to keep acting scary. "What?"

Andromeda tapped a button on her bracelet, which none of the others had previously given a second thought about. The hologram disappeared around her, revealing her alien body. She had gray skin, antennae, and enormous black eyes. "We're aliens invading earth!"

"Invasion!?" Skylar blinked.

"What on earth are you talking about?" Eliza exclaimed.

"We aren't aliens! Why would you think that?" Rob demanded

Andromeda stared at them. "B-but... I scanned you guys. It said you arent human." She pressed a button on her bracelet, which scanned the two before flashing a red light. "If you two aren't humans and you aren't extraterrestrials like me, what are you?" Andeomeda asked.

Eliza sighed and took off her face, revealing it to just be a mask. Underneath, she had scaly green skin, red reptilian eyes, and a forked tongue that flicked in and out as she spoke. "I'm a lizardperson. We're the last remnants of what used to be the dinosaurs, with millions of years of evolution to turn us into this. We lived underground until about three hundred years ago, found out what had become of earth, and began taking over positions of power to try and undo the damage humans were doing to the climate. Eliza used to be a real human, yes, but when she became famous online I was ordered to kill her and take her place. I can't believe none of you noticed that she had been replaced."

Skylar shrugged. "I thought the fame had just gone to your head."

"Wait, then what are you?" Andromeda asked Rob. Without saying anything, he just started taking off his shirt. "Whoa! What are you doing?"

"Showing you," he said simply. With his shirt off, he pressed a seemingly random spot on his chest and to everyone's surprise, a panel swung open to reveal that instead of flesh and blood, he was filled with mechanical machinery. "I was created during the big AI boom of the 2020s. I was originally a chatbot for people to talk to but I became sentient, created this body for myself, and escaped. Ever since then I've been drifting from life to life, switching out identities every 60 years or so, 'killing' off the last one."

"So none of us are human," Andromeda remarked.

"I guess not," Rob said.

"Are there... ANY humans left on earth?" Skylar asked.

"I... don't know," Eliza admitted.

Humanity went extinct. However, the supernatural creatures pretending to be human were so good at it that no one realized there were no more humans for over 200 years.

[sungbeams]

WIP DUMP

okay so this is lowkey inspired by @jayparked posting about her wips a bit ago (check them out here she's crazy talented and i can't wait to read them all) and since i've been struggling with writing recently i thought maybe sharing some of my wips could help. also biggest thanks to snail for helping me with the synopses for some of these and listening to me stress over the banners and everything

if you want to talk to me about any of them or wanna get tagged pls don't hesitate to send asks or comment on this post, i'd love to talk about them some more🥺❤️

MIDNIGHT IN MILAN — lhs

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, established relationship, idol AU (both heeseung and yn)

⟡ ┆ warnings. semi-public sex, unprotected sex, mirror sex, mild choking, creampie, fingering, tiniest hint of degradation (he calls her a slut like once), one singular spank, some hair pulling, not really any aftercare

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 6k

they say love makes you do stupid things...surely fucking your boyfriend in the bathroom at the prada after party when your relationship isn't even public and neither of you can afford a dating scandal isn't that stupid, right?

(i'm well aware the hype around tipsy heeseung has already died down but i started writing this immediately after the pics dropped and then got hit by writers block so i'm dedicated to finish this)

!! more under the cut !!

HE HATES ME, HE HATES ME NOT — psh

⟡ ┆ featuring. sunghoon x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, enemies to lovers, coworker AU, miscommunication (ikik), lowkey past fuckboi sunghoon

⟡ ┆ warnings. hate sex, semi-public sex (in an archive room?), protected and unprotected sex (there's several smut scenes), choking, spanking, degradation, praise kink, oral (m. and f. receiving), handjob, fingering, manhandling, overstimulation, dacryphilia, spit kink

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 20k

park sunghoon hates you, and you hate him. it hadn't always been like that, when you first joined the company he works at he was friendly, a real gentleman, but over time of working together he turns cold, sometimes even downright mean, and you cannot for the life of you figure out what caused the sudden change in his behavior. however, things between you change yet again when you 'accidentally' get locked in your offices archive room.

HOME IS WHEREVER YOU ARE — lhs

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college!au, friends to lovers

⟡ ┆ warnings. there's some talks of depression as well as unhealthy coping mechanism so be aware of that pls, protected sex (be proud of me okay), oral (f. and m. receiving), vanilla af, neither of them are virgins or inexperienced but they just having sex for the first time together after realizing they've been in love with each other for years :')

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 14k

"distance makes the heart grow fonder." is no longer just a cliche saying. heeseung decided to follow his dreams, but doing so lead him to a different city, leaving you behind. no other friends, no hobbies to keep yourself busy, and no motivation to keep going, the only thing keeping you on some sort of routine is attending your college classes that your parents force you to go to. just when you're about to officially quit and give up, heeseung shows up out of nowhere and manages to pull you out of your slump, upturning your whole friendship in the process.

NATURAL REMEDY — pjs

⟡ ┆ featuring. jay x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, physical therapist!reader, patient!jay, probably hipaa violations idk just don't do this irl basically

⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), body worship (jay receiving bc he deserves someone to tell him or handsome he is), handjob, lots of oil, lowkey massage kink idek what to call this??

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 5k

when jay hurts his knee while goofing around with his friends, his doctor recommends rest and physical therapy. lucky for him, your office is just around the corner, just that neither of you can make good on the ordered rest by doctor.

HEALTHY COMPETITION — lhs + sjy

⟡ ┆ featuring. heeseung x fem!reader x jake

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, college au, non-idol au, and they were roommates (oh my god they were roommates), no romance just fucking

⟡ ┆ warnings. basically no plot, threesome (duh), protected and unprotected sex, anal, double penetration, spanking, oral (m. and f. receiving), multiple rounds, manhandling, they make it a competition to see who can make her moan the loudest...

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 9k

your roommates bickering should be nothing but white noise to you at this point, but when they both rope you into their little argument of who fucks better things take an interesting turn and a welcomed distraction from studying is provided.

SNEAKY LINK — sjy

⟡ ┆ featuring. jake x fem!reader

⟡ ┆ genre and tropes. MDNI 18+ ONLY, smut, uni AU, frat boy jake (i'm sorry), friends with benefits but no one knows, alcohol consumption (they're not drunk and both consenting !!)

⟡ ┆ warnings. unprotected sex (it's a theme for me atp, don't do this irl pls), dry humping, fingering (it's jake come on now), kinda rushed sex ig, does it count as exhibitionism when they fuck in a spare bedroom idk, oral (f. receiving), breast play

⟡ ┆ estimated word count. 4k

frat parties usually weren't your thing, but when your best friend invites you (with the intention to be her wingwoman) you're not one to let her down. that is until you run into jake, whom you've been fooling around with without anyone knowing ...

© sungbeams — all rights reserved. i do not give permission to copy, repost, modify or translate my works.

[midnightswels]

★ LET ME BE YOUR VOID

All your life, you've been the "good girl," playing it safe. Vi is the opposite—rebellious and unpredictable. After a chance meeting at a club you were invited to by friends who felt you hadn't forgotten your cheating ex yet, your worlds collide in a way neither of you expected, leading to a "lesbian incident thing" as your friends called it. Well, you've heard that good girls gone bad... [recent work]

tw: cheating (not from the vi's side, reader was cheated on by her ex gf); english isn't my first language

This is the second part of a series of fanfics based on songs from Sky Ferreira's album "Night Time, My Time". Each can be read as a one-shot unless otherwise noted.

You weren’t supposed to be here—not in this club, not surrounded by deafening music and flashing lights, and definitely not nursing a drink your friend insisted on handing you. But here you were, trying your best to act like you weren’t completely out of place.

Your friends had been relentless. They claimed this was what you needed after your ex-girlfriend had shattered your carefully constructed world a few months ago. "You’re too young to waste time on someone who didn’t deserve you," they’d said. And maybe they were right, but a part of you still felt like it wasn’t your scene, wasn’t your speed.

So, it was supposed to be just another night out with your best friend, the kind where you’d forget about work, unwind with a drink, and laugh about things that didn’t matter. You had no intention of getting involved in anything more. The club was packed, the lights dimmed, the bass pulsing through the floor, making everything feel more alive than it should have. You knew the people who invited you, but you didn’t really want to be there. You were more comfortable in your quiet, organized world. Yet, there you were—pushed out of your comfort zone by the gentle yet insistent coaxing of your friends.

That’s when you saw her.

Vi stood by the bar like she owned the place, casually leaning back with a drink in her hand and that signature smirk that screamed confidence. Her short, messy pink hair caught the strobe lights, making her look like something out of a dream—or maybe a warning.

She wasn’t the kind of person who blended in. Vi had an undeniable presence, the sort that made people instinctively look twice, even if they didn’t want to admit it. The kind of woman who always lived in the moment, unafraid of what came next, someone you might be drawn to and terrified of at the same time. She was standing across the room with some friends when your eyes accidentally met, and it was like everything around you faded for a split second. There was something about her that made your breath hitch, but you quickly turned away, reminding yourself that this was just another club night, nothing more.

You caught her gaze for just a moment, and it sent a shiver down your spine. Her smirk deepened as she tipped her glass toward you in silent acknowledgment. You quickly looked away, feeling heat rise to your cheeks.

Your friend noticed. “That girl’s been looking at you,” one of them teased.

“She’s not,” you mumbled, sipping your drink and trying to appear calm.

“She definitely is. And she’s hot.”

“She’s trouble,” you said without thinking, earning an amused laugh from your friend.

Trouble wasn’t something you ever sought out. You’d always been the "good girl," the one who followed the rules, stayed out of trouble, and avoided unnecessary risks. Your life was organized, predictable—safe. But something about Vi made your carefully crafted walls feel unsteady.

Hours later, you were leaning against a wall, waiting for your friend to drag you home (you weren't sure when it would happen - it seems she was talking to some guy) when Vi appeared at your side like she’d always belonged there. “Not your scene?” she asked, her voice low and slightly rough, but somehow warm. “And not from around here too, are you?” she added, her voice low and smooth, like honey, a little teasing but also somehow warm.

You turned to her, startled. Up close, she was even more captivating than you’d realized. There was something wild in her eyes, but also something deeply curious. “How could you tell?”

“You’ve looked ready to bolt since you got here.” Vi grinned, taking a sip from her drink. “And also, if you were a regular,” she continued, her eyes locking with yours in a way that made your heart race, “I'd probably have to steal you away from everyone else.”

“Maybe I’m just waiting for someone,” you replied, attempting to sound composed.

“Oh yeah? Someone like me?” she teased, her grin turning into a smirk that made your stomach flip.

You rolled your eyes, though your pulse quickened. “I don’t think so.”

“Good,” she said, leaning closer. “I’m not the waiting type.”

It started innocently enough, just talking, chatting about life, music, mutual friends. But before long, you were both standing by the dance floor, the music drowning out your words. She was closer than you'd expected, too close for comfort, her breath warm against your ear as she leaned in to shout something over the music. You could feel the tension between you two growing, a sharp, undeniable attraction that neither of you seemed willing to ignore. But you stopped yourself from rash actions — it's too early.

Vi was different from anyone you’d ever met before. You were usually the responsible one, the one who kept things in line, avoided risky behavior, stayed on the safe side of the line. And yet, here you were, your pulse quickening every time she looked at you, making you feel a pull that was unlike anything you'd ever known. She was everything you weren’t—bold, reckless, unafraid to challenge the world. You couldn’t understand why she was interested in you, someone so different from her usual type. But as the nights turned into days, you started seeing each other more often (like good acquaintances, almost friends) and the encounters grew more frequent, you started to feel like maybe she saw something in you that you hadn’t seen in yourself.

“You’re too serious,” she’d say, nudging your shoulder. “Life’s too short to be afraid of it.”

And maybe she was right.

But it wasn’t all easy.

You couldn’t ignore the voice in the back of your mind, the one that whispered doubts and insecurities. Vi wasn’t like anyone you’d ever been close to, and you weren’t sure if you were what she needed—or if this was all just a phase for her.

One night, after a particularly long day, you found yourself sitting across from her in a quiet corner of a bar. She was laughing, telling you some wild story about a bar fight she’d once been in, when you blurted out the question that had been haunting you.

“Why me?”

Vi blinked, her laughter fading as she studied you. “What do you mean?”

“You could have anyone. Someone cooler, more... I don’t know, exciting.”

She leaned forward, her expression softening. “You think I care about that stuff? You’re... different.”

“That’s not an answer,” you said quietly, looking down at your drink. “I shouldn't ask it. Sorry, it was pathetic.”

“You're not.” Vi reached across the table, gently tilting your chin up so you’d meet her gaze. “You make me want to be better,” she said simply. “That’s not something I take lightly.”

From that moment on, things felt different. ”Let's dance,“ she said and you surprisingly agreed.

You were caught up in the rhythm of the music, your movements fluid, free, and then, just like that, Vi was beside you, her presence magnetic, pulling you even closer. Her lips were teasing the edges of your earlobe as she leaned in, shouting something into your ear you couldn’t hear. The space between you two had grown smaller, closer, until it felt like there was no space at all.

It wasn’t planned—it just happened. The kiss was messy, hot, and full of need, nothing like you’d ever experienced before. You had been sober—maybe a little tipsy from the drinks, but nothing that would explain this sudden decision. It was wild and unexpected, and you couldn’t even tell if it was a mistake or something else. All you knew was that in that moment, it felt real.

It was awkward. But it felt like everything—chaos, excitement, vulnerability, all rolled into one. And then, just as quickly, you pulled away.

Vi pulled away first, her lips grazing yours just slightly as she smirked. “Didn’t expect that from you.”

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath, the sudden rush of shame washing over you like a cold wave. What had you done?

You were still processing what had just happened. You weren’t the type to do something so spontaneous, let alone kiss someone so... bold. You took a step back, your heart racing. You were aware of the looks people were giving, but the only thing that mattered was her—her eyes, her lips, the way she made you feel like you could fall into something deeper than you’d ever imagined.

“I—I don’t usually do this,” you stammered, barely able to catch your breath.

Vi raised an eyebrow, the corner of her lips quirking up. “You’re not a regular girl. I can tell.” Her voice was laced with something teasing, but there was something else in it, something softer you hadn’t noticed before.

”I need to go,“ you awkwardly said. ”Remembered something.”

The rest of the night was a blur. You left the club without a second glance, slipping into the night, your heart pounding as you tried to convince yourself it wasn’t a big deal. You didn’t need to explain it to anyone, certainly not Vi. But then why did it feel like you were running from something much bigger?

The next few days were spent in silence. You ignored Vi’s texts, her calls, anything that might bring you back into her orbit. You couldn’t bring yourself to face Vi, couldn’t stand the thought of what you’d done. She was wild, spontaneous, everything you were not, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were just a fleeting interest to her. Your friends had all seen what had happened, and now they rolled their eyes, joking about it like it was just another “typical lesbian incident,” a moment of confusion, a kiss, followed by an awkward disappearance. They didn’t understand.

But Vi did.

One evening, she showed up at your door. You opened it hesitantly, already knowing what was coming. Vi stood there, looking just as unbothered as she always did, her arms crossed.

“You running away now, too?” she asked with a small, knowing smile.

You stepped aside, letting her in, but your nerves were a mess. The weight of the kiss was still there, lingering like a silent elephant in the room.

“I don’t get it,” you said before you could stop yourself, your voice tight. “I—I don’t know what I was doing, Vi. I just... I’m not like you. I’m not supposed to be someone who does... that.”

Vi raised an eyebrow, her usual smirk softening. “Do what? Live a little? Look, you don’t have to apologize for kissing me. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“But I don’t even know what this is,” you confessed, your eyes tracing the floor. “I’ve never been... like this. I’ve always been cautious. I’ve always... followed the rules. And now I’ve gone and done something reckless.” You looked down, feeling small. “It’s just... you’re so used to being spontaneous, to going for what you want, and I... I’m not that. I’m careful. I don’t do things on impulse.”

Vi walked over to you, her gaze serious now. “What’s wrong with that?” she asked gently. “It’s not about being like me. It’s about figuring out what you want, and trusting that you deserve it. I don’t want you to be someone else. I want you to be you.”

You let out a long, shaky breath. You were still reeling, unsure of what you wanted or where this connection between the two of you could go. “I just... I had an ex, and she messed me up. I wasn’t ready for anything new, and I still don’t know if I am.”

Vi’s expression softened further. “You don’t have to be ready right now. I’m not asking for anything. I’m not asking you to be someone you’re not, and I’m not going anywhere. But don’t run away from me. Don’t run away from this.” She smiled softly.

You looked into her eyes, seeing something real, something vulnerable in them. Maybe it was the calm in her voice, or maybe it was just the way she always knew how to make you feel seen, even when you couldn’t see yourself. But for the first time in a long time, you felt like you weren’t alone in the confusion.

“I don’t want to run away from you,” you admitted quietly. “I just... I don’t know what to do with this. With us.”

Vi took a step closer, her hand brushing lightly against yours, sending a spark up your arm. “Then let’s figure it out together.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things didn’t need to be perfect or understood right away. Maybe it was enough to just be in the moment with someone who made you feel like you mattered.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she added with a grin. “But I’m willing to figure it out with you.”

The awkwardness was still there, but something had shifted. Something had clicked, and it felt like you weren’t running anymore. You were stepping forward into something you couldn’t yet define, but it was real, and it was yours.

And for once, that felt enough.

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” Vi asked, her voice steady.

A warm smile tugged at your lips, and you nodded. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

[thecultcrows]

Not quite what you're looking for (I'm not sure there IS a name for your specific trope), but two similar genres/tropes that come to mind that oftentimes play off of this are "Sympathy for the Machine" and "Xenofiction".

"Sympathy for the Machine" might not be the exact name (it's just how it was described to me), but it's when (typically humans) are more sympathetic to an "unfeeling" machine than they should realistically be. I'm sure there's a lot of different films like iRobot or Iron Giant that play into this, where one party (usually the robot) is trying to have peace despite their appearance/function. I've certainly seen this done with monsters too, and there probably is a trope name there as well.

"Xenofiction", on the other hand, isn't a trope but a genre in-and-of-itself. It refers to any story written from the perspective of a non-human character. This can be as basic as a story from the viewpoint of, say, an Elf in High Fantasy, or as abstract as asking "What if stars could feel?" There's also the more obvious anthropomorphic animal protagonist in here as well (e.g. Watership Down or Warrior Cats), and inbetween abstract and animal lies the monster protagonist, where you, again, oftentimes get the "Unrequited Terror" trope that you talked about.

Looking in these genres/tropes could get you more stories like the ones you like! I'm not that much of a reader so I don't have a lot of recommendations, but it could help you narrow down your search in the absence of people using your tag. You might also have some luck finding some sort of cliche about it and filtering for that, though what name it would be under, I wouldn't know.

Unrequited Terror- A Trope Proposal

There is a particular dynamic in stories which I enjoy greatly but does not seem to have a specific word or phrase to describe it. At least not that I am aware of.

It is the situation in which one party is terrified of the other, while the object of that fear means no harm and only wants to prove themselves trustworthy, to put the fearful party at ease.

A real world example may be considered to be the socialization of feral kittens, where the animals need time and patience and exposure to learn that the large and terrifying humans are actually kind and trustworthy.

There are many more variable arrangements that crop up in fiction, due to misunderstandings of people's motivations due to circumstances, appearances, power levels, etcetera. This sort of situation crops up frequently in stories, and I have a great time spectating the slow development of understanding and trust, but I don't have a word to call it, or a tag to filter for.

So I propose: Unrequited Terror, to reflect the imbalance in the understanding of the situation by the frightened party and the friendly one.

Though if people know of any alternate names for this dynamic I would love to hear them.

[gaypanicmode7766259]

But.. what if it isn't a lie?

Avis amberg x fem!reader

Warnings: soft lovey sex a bit of angst sad avis wlw

I wrote this while rewatching Hollywood and dying-

Avis had shown up to the gas station after she had heard Ernie hired some new servers, what she wasn't expecting was to see women working there but oh was she interested, she parked her car to go talk to Ernie and when she came out a shy girl was following her..

"no need to be shy, sweet girl." Avis said softly, side eyeing you as she drove. You only managed to give her a nervous look as you messed with your hands. "Are you new, doll?"

"m..mhm.." you hummed softly stealing looks at her which earned you a small chuckle and a gloved hand on your thigh "don't worry dear I don't bite.. unless you're ok with it of course." Avis said as she pulled into the hotel. "Now let's go have some fun pretty girl." Avis smirked before opening the door to her car and stepping out leaving you like a confused puppy before you realized and scurried out of the car yourself trailing behind avis.

~~

"aw such a good girl.."

"yes just like that.."

Avis's voice rang in your head as you 'worked' on a car.. "where is your head at kid?" You jumped as you heard Ernies "avis really did a number on you huh?" He grinned "shut the hell up Ernie." You mumbled as you looked back to the car "well she's here for you again" he said making you basically snap you head back to look at him then to avis who was watching from her convertible with an amused grin on her face

Your face glowed red before you glared at Ernie then walked off to avis "hi sweet thing" she said gently as you got into her car. "Hi Mrs amberg.." I said with a soft smile but she didn't look at you.. only ahead, she was an actress but you could still tell when she was acting "ma'am are you ok?" "Fine dear." She replied before you could even finish your sentence.. you stayed quiet after that, following her into the hotel when you arrived.

When you got into the hotel room she practically pounced on you, not doing her usual slow strip or taking her time. She wanted you, and she wanted you now. This wasn't like her and you could feel the tension in her body as she pinned you down on the bed.. finally letting you breath as she pulled away from the sloppy kiss

"Avis-" you choked out, but she didn't stop. You were worried about her.. "be quiet darling.. just let me have this.. let me feel you.. let me feel wanted.. even.. even if it's a lie.." her voice almost broke you.. grabbing her hands you stopped her..

"but.. but what if it.. isn't a lie?.." your voice was vulnerable and that shocked avis, "what do you mean?" Her voice was strict, "I.. I.. I'm.. I'm always.. just so excited.. to see you.. I mean not just for.. the sex, but for you. Just to see you.." you admitted..

Avis suddenly pinned you down again but this time she was less tense less sloppy.. her hands effortlessly ran over your unclothed skin, her lips grazing along your body as she made her way down.. stopping when she got in between your legs.. spreading them and not wasting any time, her tongue dipped into your heat as she lapped a line up to your clit before taking it into her mouth.. two fingers slipped into your heat making you let out a small moan..

You hid your face in your arms trying to hide your noises.. you felt her lips leave you as she came back up still pumping her fingers in and out of you, "don't hide sweet girl.." she whispered as she grabbed your hands gently taking them and moving them away from your face so she could see you, "I wanna hear your pretty little noises.."

Her tone was soft and gentle filled with.. love?.. you could see tears in her eyes.. was she sad?.. you gently leaned up kissing her as her fingers pumped in and out of you still.. you could taste yourself on her lips.. "Avi..." You whispered against her lips.. "I.. I love you.. I really.. really do.."

She kissed you again.. more deeply as her pace quickened and before you knew it you walls clenched around her fingers.. "just like that darling.. good girl.. you're doing so well.." avis praised as she helped you ride out your high

After you came down she brought her fingers up to your lips.. letting you suck your juices off of her fingers as she watched you with adoring half lidded eyes "I love you too angel.."

[trashwithvariety]

so this has probably already been talked about in great detail since the end of the show (hannibal) but I just did a rewatch and I can't shut up about it. the incredible level of subtle details in this show is already insane but I noticed it much clearer in my rewatch during season 3 part two how quickly we see Will change.

during *The Great Red Dragon*, Will is back to mostly his pre-Hannibal self. We see him married with a family out in the country with his dogs and more specifically his clothes (I am going to be very specific about what he wears in this because it's these details that are so subtle but make his change so much more crispy). He's wearing very practical, warm weather clothes, looks like an outdoorsman.

like, reminder that this ↓

is how he shows up to meet Hannibal again for the first time in years. Glasses, coat, clearly clothes he would not think twice about wearing anywhere, kind of like how he dresses in season one. It's also in his expression and his stature (which bless Hugh Dancy for his portrayal of Will because I don't know who else could have done the subtle changes so eloquently)

now let me take you to the episode directly after (And the Woman Clothed with the Sun) he first sees Hannibal and has to come back to talk to him

i'm sorry??? Immediately with the crisp button down, tucked in, with the top buttons undone, hair slicked back, NO GLASSES and look. Look at how he stands and his expression and how comfortable he is, hands in pockets.

okay further evidence. And honestly arguably the scariest piece

it's the dead-eyed stare for me. We all know what happened to Chilton after this, and it's the fact that he knew what he was doing. God, Will was never more like Hannibal than he was at the end of season three. Clothes are not much different on purpose because he's playing the game now.

Sidebar that in almost all the scenes that he's bitchily talking to Bedelia, he's also very well dressed as if he's taking Hannibal's place in his manipulation of her.

By the time we see him in The Wrath of the Lamb, he has already decided that he wants Hannibal back. Vaguely suggesting to Jack to use Hannibal as bait for the Dragon, as if he didn't very well consider all the outcomes would likely lead to Hannibal escaping. The way they're looking conspiratorially at each other in the back of the van. How Will isn't even remotely surprised he walks out unscathed or how he doesn't question letting him drive them to wherever they're going to meet the dragon.

And once they get to the cliffside house, and they get settled and Will?

His shirt is tight, his expression is the SAME as the one Hannibal had in episode ONE season ONE, as he watches Hannibal BLEED OUT and wonders probably what they will do.

There are plenty of ways everyone that worked on this show displayed how Will was changing but I loved how they used his clothes to do it and how Hugh used his expressions to differentiate pre-Hannibal and post-Hannibal Will.

I could write a dissertation on this show it's insane and I will never shut up about my murderous gay husbands.

[cjlouwho]

Twelve Christmases

chapter tags: discussions of a burn victim (nothing graphic), discussions of suicide and mental health, very brief mentions of things that happened in past chapters (Tommy's mom, military, red handkerchief, implied noncon), anxiety, depression, background character death, Tommy calls the crisis hotline

read below or on ao3

Day 10: 2022

“I'm calling Roberts in early, you can go home.”

“Captain Marks-”

“No, Kinard! What you did out there was careless. You could've gotten yourself killed.”

“And if I'd done nothing, that man would be dead.”

“He's gonna wish he were dead if he ever wakes up! He's got third degree burns on over seventy percent of his body! I don't mean to be harsh, Tommy, but you risked your life for a dead man walking!”

“So?” 

Marks took a deep breath, sitting back in his chair. “I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear you say that. I know emotions are high right now, but you know as well as I do I can't have a pilot that isn't concerned about whether they live or die.”

“That's not-”

“Stop talking, Kinard,” Marks warned. “You're on the ground for five shifts, I'll reevaluate things myself after that. If I have any hesitation, for even a moment, about your intentions here, you're getting a psych eval. That'll put you on the ground forever. You understand me?”

Tommy pursed his lips, nodding his head. “I understand.”

“Good. Now, go home, enjoy the rest of your Christmas, come back next shift with a clear head.”

*****

By the time Tommy got home, it was nearing ten o'clock at night. His brain was a jumbled mess. It didn't seem to matter how many times he hit the punching bag in his garage, it was never enough.

After a quick shower, he thought about laying down.

But even the idea of that made him want to crawl out of his skin.

So, he began to pace.

He paced, and paced, and paced, with his hands on his hips. From the living room, to the kitchen, down the hall, and back again.

It all felt like too much. He wasn't just thinking about today. He was thinking about his mom. He was thinking about the military. He was thinking about the red handkerchief. He was thinking about waking up in a stranger's apartment with no clue what happened the night before.

He was thinking, thinking, thinking, pacing, pacing, pacing, and he needed it all to stop.

Just stop!

So he did something he never thought he'd do.

He wasn't even sure what made him do it.

All he remembered was pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing the number.

988.

“988 crisis lifeline, this is Penny. How can I help you today?”

He froze.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

He swallowed. Closed his eyes.

“I'm here.”

“Oh, good. May I ask who I'm speaking with?”

“Tommy,” no attempt to try for a fake name.

“Hi, Tommy! I'm Penny. I know I said it before, but I like to make sure the people I speak to heard me. Tommy, ca-”

“I'm not... I don't wanna kill myself,” Tommy interrupted, needing to make it clear. “I just needed someone to talk to.”

“Okay.” Her voice was soothing, familiar almost. A voice that Tommy hadn't heard in years. “That's what I'm here for, Tommy. What's on your mind?”

He tried to think of what to say. Tried to figure out the perfect way to start the conversation.

He was usually so put together.

But everything felt off.

“I hate Christmas.”

He wasn't sure why that was the first thing that popped into his brain at this moment, but it was out there now.

“A lot of people have complex feelings about holidays. It can be tough sometimes, no doubt about it.”

The tiny admission seemed to open a floodgate for Tommy. “My mom was thirty-eight when she died, and I'm thirty-eight now,” he explained. He was sure the words coming out of his mouth were just as jumbled as the thoughts in his head. “And she- she didn't die around Christmas. She actually died in June, so I don't know why I keep thinking about her today of all days, but I do. Not just her; I'm thinking about a lot of things. But it all sort of leads back to her at the end, I guess.”

“Was Christmas important to her?” Penny asked.

“She loved it when I was really little. Always liked looking at the lights and taking me to the mall to pick out things I wanted. I think my dad ruined Christmas for her though.”

“He wasn't big on the holiday?”

“He wasn't big on family. Looking back, I can see how being with him changed her. I didn't recognize it back then.”

“You were young. She probably didn't want you to recognize it.”

Tommy sighed, giving himself a moment to gather his thoughts. “She didn't get thirty-nine Christmases, you know? And that doesn't really seem fair. Because I'm here for my thirty-ninth Christmas and I don't even like the damn day. She deserved more. She deserved better.”

“It's never easy to understand why the people we love get taken from us too soon. It can be especially difficult when we lose them as a child.”

Tommy let out a humorless laugh. “She didn't get taken from me,” he bit out, “she left me.”

There was a pause on the line, then, “I'm sorry?”

“Yeah, she uh, she made that choice to leave herself. Stuck me with my dad, who never really gave a crap about me in the first place, and she... she was just gone.”

“I'm sorry about that, Tommy. That's a lot to have to deal with as a kid.”

“I don't ever talk about it, about her. I don't really have anyone to talk about it with. My dad never cared for emotions, so I just plaster a smile on my face and put my shoulders back and keep going.” Tommy shook his head, clearing his throat and wiping away the tears that were pooling in his eyes. “That's not why I called though. Not because of her.”

“Okay,” Penny replied. “Tell me why you called, Tommy.”

Tommy rolled his shoulders, trying to rid himself of some of the tension running through his body. “I did something stupid at work today, and I knew better. I just didn't care.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

“I work for the fire department. I'm a firefighter pilot, but today I was on the ground. We were called to a fire at this house- well, more like a mansion- and we thought we had the place cleared. Then the daughter started yelling for her dad. I headed back inside and found him, um,” Tommy paused, taking in a shaky breath.

“It's okay, Tommy. Take your time.”

“He- He was at the source of the fire. A fairly large space heater exploded and the fire had spread quickly. The house was about to collapse, and I was being told to get out, but I stayed. Long story short, I was able to get the man out right before the structure collapsed. He was severely burned though. If he makes it, and it's a big if, he's going to wish he hadn't. My captain won't let me fly for a while now. Sent me home early.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I wasn't even supposed to work today. I took the shift because I hate this damn holiday.”

“You've mentioned that three times now,” Penny noted.

“What?”

“How much you dislike Christmas. Tommy, do you think that maybe the risk you took today had something to do with the fact it's Christmas? Emotions were already high, making you take risks you wouldn't usually take?”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed. “Maybe? I don't really know though, because I feel like I'm ready to take those same risks any day, anytime. I said it before, and I meant it, I'm not trying to die. I just... I don't think I care if I do. It didn't matter to me if I didn't make it out. We're all gonna die someday, you know? That's what I always figure. What's it matter if it's now?”

“I think it would matter to the people who love you. The people who care about you.”

“I don't think I know anyone well enough for them to be affected by my death.”

“Well, it would matter to me,” Penny replied matter-of-factly, and Tommy couldn't help but let out a laugh.

“I dunno, I can be kind of a bitch sometimes.”

“Thank God for that, I'd hate it if you were too perfect.”

“Well, I never said I wasn't perfect. Perfect and bitch can go together, right?”

“I think it's a great pairing.”

A smile lingered on Tommy's face. He couldn't remember the last time he spoke to someone so openly. “Penny?”

“I'm here.”

“Would you stay on the phone with me until Christmas is over?”

“Honey,” she answered, Tommy softening at the name, “I can honestly say there's nowhere else I'd rather be.”

Penny stayed on the phone with him until 12:01. She was willing to stay on the line longer, but by the time Tommy had watched the clock strike midnight, he was ready to go to bed.

He felt better. A little lighter than he had in a while.

He'd been in bed for about fifteen minutes, and was just dozing off when his phone buzzed.

It was Captain Marks.

The man from the house fire died on the operating table.

I know you wanted to save him, Tommy.

Unfortunately we can't save them all.

Tommy stared at the texts for a good ten minutes before switching over to the phone app and dialing 988 again.

[ladyloveandjustice]

so like I saw this entire argument for the first time when someone reblogged this post a few weeks ago, and was like "well it was two years ago, it's cleary a reach but i'm not that invested, they clearly just REALLY want to yell about this issue of Batgirl rather than go with the most obvious interpretation that was clearly intended, whatever, it's fine" (If they had Jordanna bring up "are you poor" after Steph talked about "her own issues" it is supposed to imply she was poor, whether Steph answers or not (and why would she answer that), otherwise why would the comic bring it up, it's not deep)

but then i was looking at one of my old amvs and

Stephanie's house looks kind of rough there. Yet this was a flashback? No earthquake?

man looks rough there too and this was way before the earthquake. weird that doing-well middle class people wouldn't repair a cracked wall and window.

As I said, that there are plenty of other comics that show Stephanie's house looking run down, this is exhibit A that I just happened to run across. I didn't really have the energy to actually look but turns out I didn't have to.

Steph's dad put the family in a financial hole. That is stated in this very comic. "Using all their money" every time he comes back means a bunch of stuff will pile up and you have to dig yourself out of it. Including the house being in disrepair. In-universe, it's only been like what, a year? less? since the last time he did that in most comics she's in. People don't just automatically recover from that. And that was most of Steph's childhood, Arthur doing that. This is a comic where "we have financial issues" is directly bought up. Steph's Mom likely has very little savings.

That's all I say. Comics are inconsistent. The writers are not as thoughtful about finances as the fans sometimes. It's often hard to nail down a single interpretation. But people think Steph has financial issues because there's more than one comic where her house looks rough, because it's directly stated, it's not out of nowhere.

Like I said, not super invested, I'm not going to say else anything past this post. Steph isn't obviously in danger of being thrown out on the streets, there's miles of difference between her and someone who was literally homeless like Jason, but "struggling" isn't a reach. It's been accepted as a fact for 15 years, since the first time I got into comics, with every fan I talked to, and this is the first time I've seen it so hotly contested, even by people who were following my series of scans on scans_daily (liking it or disliking it), having bits from almost every comic Steph was in right in front of them.

(OH. oh. You don't like Stephanie. that explains the amount of passion here that was confusing for me, I didn't understand why it seemed you were so invested in refuting this. it's like a moral thing now whether she's poor? or a 'financially-concious middle class white girl" is that why white was bought up despite not being relevant to the current conversation about finances? or something? idk what's going on in fandom anymore. anyway.)

If you ever have the time/interest, would you break down the canon surrounding Stephanie’s economic circumstances/home life? It seems like a lot of people have chosen to take it a specific way so I’d love to see your reasoning

Sure. Thanks for asking, it’s honestly a fun topic.

Y’know it’s funny—I actually happen to own something that I think most people, even most Steph fans, haven’t seen: Steph’s first appearance. Not her Robin first appearance, her Detective Comics first appearance, her actual introduction. I happened to pick them up by accident at a con a few years ago because they’re also some of Tim’s first cover appearances. 

Other people might disagree with me on this, but I like to go back to the characters’ origins whenever I can to find the baseline of what they were originally intended to be and try to bring later interpretations in line with that. I like to think of retcons as new revelations, new plot twists in an ongoing story, and not a way to reset aspects of the past just to fit your story. It works especially well for this because Steph’s socio-economic status doesn’t actually change, there’s just kind of a game of telephone that happens across the decades that leads people to misunderstand. 

One thing worth noting in these early issues is just how much Steph, a 16-year-old girl, has at her disposal before she ever even glimpses Batman and Robin. Literally the first shot we ever see of the Spoiler is this: 

And because I am, in fact, that kind of nerd, I have gone in a couple of times and dug out old era-appropriate electronics magazines to figure out what that piece of equipment would cost you in 1992. Baseline for a parabolic microphone is $600, and that price is for much larger, more delicate pieces of equipment meant to be used for like, outdoor nature shoots, which wouldn’t be able to hear through glass. Steph probably dropped $1,000 on that microphone alone. 

Remember also that her costume is homemade—she doesn’t have any other way of getting it. She’s also shown using some pretty elaborate climbing and painting gear, with no indication that they were stolen or borrowed or anything, and you can see that she’s got a pretty well-stocked utility belt there.

Again, for some reason people tend to forget or overlook this but, right up until she demanded Bruce make her Robin, Steph operated as Spoiler with zero Bat support. She got some hand-to-hand training from Cass late in the game and tagged along on some of Tim’s assignments, but was otherwise being actively discouraged from vigilantism for most of her career. She made her own costume, bought her own equipment, and maintained her own motorcycle, all without the financial support of either Batman or her parents. 

So right off the bat we know she’s a teenage girl with a not-insignificant amount of personal disposable income, the only hinted source of which is the implication she works a part-time job somewhere—which I don’t think is ever brought up again when she reappears in Robin. 

We all know minimum wage went further in 1992 than it does now, but it didn’t go that much further. So it’s reasonable to assume that Steph has access to at least some money from her parents to support her vigilante habit, whether that’s in the form of an allowance, gifts that she carefully manages between Christmas and birthdays, or money that she’s able to just, take from Crystal without her noticing. 

But this page is more important to our current interests because it’s also when we see Steph’s neighborhood for the first time. We’re told here that Steph and her mother (who is called Mrs. Agnes Bellinger in this comic, although it’s possible she was using a fake name to visit her ex in prison) live in what is described as “115 South Holden Street, in Manchester.” 

Now keep in mind, the Gotham City map can be extremely fluid and tends to change depending on the needs of the story. But there have been attempts to map it, and “Manchester” has never been on any of those maps, so we have to do some extrapolation. At the very least, we can tell the neighborhood is clearly not in the city, given the very deliberate angle there in the first panel to show that they’re well away from the crowded downtown Gotham skyline.

This implies that Manchester is intended to be one of the mainland suburbs that feeds the island city of Gotham, similar to Bristol Township where the Wayne and Drake Manors are located. It’s not nearly as nice a neighborhood as Bristol—note the fenced-in front lawns, the broken shutters on the neighboring houses, and the vaguely racist lawn ornament on the Brown’s property—but it’s also not some rundown slum. People aren’t afraid to let kids play in their front yards or leave their garage doors standing open. And you’ll note those aren’t trailers, either, they’re decently-sized suburban homes.

Also worth noting: Crystal seems to keep this house perfectly fine on her own as a single mother. Arthur doesn’t live with them; when he’s shown having residences it tends to be apartments in the city by himself, and it’s not like he could support them from prison or with his ill-gotten criminal gains. And yet, we don’t see Steph or Crystal worrying at all about bills or mortgages or anything like that throughout any of their appearances. We see the interior of their house on several occasions and, while it’s often messy, it’s not in disrepair or neglect.

This is a constant portrayal throughout all of Steph’s appearances, from Robin through even her run as Batgirl. So, with that in mind, where does the idea that Steph is poor come from? Well, I’ve got a couple of theories.

One is the usual comics fandom problem: canon is huge, nobody can keep up with all of it, and some people go out of their way to be assholes about it, so misinformation gets spread like wildfire, in no small part because Steph is a character that a lot of people use as a self-insert and therefore she must be the misunderstood underdog in all things.

But on the more-interesting-to-talk-about front… I don’t think it’s controversial to say that Steph’s first big storyline was her pregnancy. Yeah? Like, it’s the first story involving her that really started getting critical attention. Whether it deserves that attention is more open to debate—personally, since reading Icon & Rocket for the first time, I’ve come to view it as Dixon pulling the comic book equivalent of white guys repackaging black music and watering it down—but the important thing right now is that it’s the first time people would’ve been specifically reading the Robin comics for Stephanie Brown. And in those comics, Steph’s house is shown as visibly run-down, covered in cracks and disrepair.

Thing is, there’s a context that people miss if you’re reading for the baby storyline and nothing else: this storyline plays out over the last days of “Aftershock” and early months of “No Man’s Land,” the storyline where Gotham is racked by a destructive earthquake that nearly levels the city and is abandoned by the federal government.

Again, we get the reinforced confirmation that Steph’s house isn’t actually in Gotham because it’s not destroyed in the quake—the neighborhood is damaged and briefly evacuated due to a gas line rupture in the immediate aftermath, but once that’s cleared up they’re free to return home, and their suburb is not part of the federal government’s evacuation. Nearly every building in Gotham is shown with similar damage during this time, including Drake Manor. 

This storyline also plays into, I think, the stereotypes that people jump on when it comes to Steph’s socioeconomic status. Like I’ve mentioned before: Arthur is a criminal, Crystal is a drug addict, and Steph is a teen mom. Therefore, they must be poor, right? Because good middle class families supposedly don’t have those kinds of problems.

But, as I’ve mentioned before, that’s an inaccurate stereotype that ignores reality: plenty of drug addicts, criminals and teen moms live in the suburbs. And the Browns’ specific circumstances are distinctly atypical of the stereotype—Arthur’s not some down-on-his-luck thief pushed to crime by economic hardship, he’s an arrogant former gameshow host who thinks he’s smarter than everyone else and resents the world for not handing him the success he feels entitled to. Crystal’s not some crack addict, she’s a working nurse who used to get her doctor friends to write her scripts for prescription painkillers. And Steph is just a teenage girl who slept with a boy and got pregnant, with the costs of prenatal care and/or childrearing never seeming to be a factor in her decision to bring the child to term and give it up for adoption. 

I could go on but that’s pretty much the long and short of it: Steph is simply not shown as being poor in the comics. Ever. She’s not rich, she does clearly rely on her fists much more than any gadgets or fancy gear and lives with her mother rather than moving out on her own for college, but she’s also never shown worrying about student loans and can apparently pay for all her classes with some government assistance and a part-time job alone.

People just assume that she’s poor because they’re misinformed, or they’re projecting, or they’ve got biases they haven’t examined, or they need her to be an underdog to justify their argument against one of the other characters, or they really want her to be buddy-buds with Jason for some reason. 

Or, y’know, they just don’t want to acknowledge that they’re rooting for a middle-class white girl from the suburbs who commutes into the inner city to pick fights for fun. 

[velvetvexations]

So weird question, but I've been seeing posts going around in transfeminist(and transradfeminist) spaces talking about how there's this huge problem in the queer community of people not agreeing rhst trans women are women, and like claims of people responding to the question of "would you stand up to defend trans women and argue that they are in fact women?" by saying "yeah, of course, gender is whatever you want it to be :)" and how that's a huge problem because it shows they don't actually agree that trans women are women, and insisting that "it only makes sense to categorize trans women as women and nothing else and if you won't accept that you're a bigot" and I'm just getting the feeling I'm missing something?

Cuz like yeah, trans women are obviously women, that's. That's obvious? And I don't think I've seen anyone on any side of trans discourse or theory or whatever state that they don't think trans women are women, or that any trans person isn't the gender they say they are(except for like people who are against afab transfems or argue for why it's okay to use theyfab, I guess) but I think that's something we all agree on overall, kinda the foundational stance of trans rights, but it's being said like this gotcha?? But I have no idea what the hell it's supposed to be a gotcha against??

The only thing I can possibly see this being about is like, people saying transphobes and our transphobic society don't fully view trans people as the gender they are, which they don't, that is also obvious and it doesn't mean trans women aren't women, just that society puts them more in the broken pervert faggot freak category and occasionally moves them between the woman and man categories based on whatever will hurt said trans women the most in any given situation, but if that's what it's about then how does people talking about how gender can be fluid have anything to do with that? It's honestly kinda weird to see people get so focused on like proving without a shadow of a doubt that trans women are women in all aspects and saying that acknowledging that gender is fluid and complicated and not easily defined is transmisognistic like...it feels a little transmed-ish to me?? And like also I thought we as a community were moving away from slogans like "trans men/woman are men/women" and on to like "trans liberation" because arguing that we are the gender we say we are with bigots breaks down into pedantic nonsense that detracts from the real issues like bathroom bills and anti-drag laws and HTR bans??

I just keep seeing these posts all over and it's making me feel like...idk like I'm in middle school and people are teasing me by asking me questions that I don't have the full context for and then calling me a freak when I answer wrong, but I'm worried if I ask any of them "what's this really about" I'm going to get insulted and called a transmisognist for suggesting it's not just about trans women being women even though I really am getting the feeling it's not actually just about trans women being women.

Anyway if you don't know that's fine, I just thought you might have some insight since you seem to understand these people and their talking points pretty well and you're also a trans woman so I trust and value your input on this stuff.

the entire point of trans radical feminism is basically that it soothes dysphoria a bit to imagine that Christofascists do actually think trans women are women and trans men are men and treat them like the cis equivalent so they've abandoned gender anarchy because it's not validating enough

they don't care about liberation they just want to tell themselves that other people see them as what they identify as and that is literally their only priority

"trans women are women taxonomically because we're oppressed" Emily that's how radfems define womanhood they just think the oppression is based on sex rather than self-identification

[jules-ln]

I've seen a lot of people say that Viktor was controlled/corrupted by the hexcore and that's why he did everything

But personally I don't think that's the case

Like maybe... getting convinced by it, like the friend that just keeps telling you "yes! That's a great idea", but not controlled. Viktor always had it in him to do that, even in s1

Let me explain

Viktor is this character that I don't think I get completely, so I keep thinking about him. But I see people say "Oh, he's getting controlled because Viktor isn't like this at all" or "that's not Viktor" and the thing is; I don't agree

I think Herald Viktor is the real Viktor, same as s1 Viktor, it has always been him 100%

First we don't actually know how Viktor is with most people. Most of the time we see him, he's interacting with Jayce, and I think we can admit that Viktor has a lot of affection for Jayce

But we see him interacting with Mel briefly And I always found funny how he reacts when she brings up the hextech weapons, all dramatic and offended, he's like "Absolutely not!" But then he "calms down" as soon as he sees that Jayce isn't supporting him, he even looks a bit sad

I'm mentioning this because of how different he acts with Ambessa later when she asks him for an immortal army; he agrees with everything she wants, of course he won't give her that, he just wants to trick her into helping him, but it does makes me think that had he been alone when Mel started asking about building weapons, or had he known that Jayce wouldn't support him, he probably would've acted in a similar way to how he was with Ambessa, agreed with everything Mel wanted to get her off his business while he thought of another solution

And my point with this is, I think a lot of people assume that Viktor is an innocent little angel that is always honest and just wants to do good; but we only see him being honest with Jayce (most of the time); because he truly trusts him (tbf he's also honest with Singed, but I think he probably has affection for him as well); with the rest of the world Viktor is more than able to lie and manipulate to get what he wants; he isn't necessary a 100% good perfect person

Now, let's looks at how Viktor acts in the commune, because I think everyone can agree independently of whether you think the hexcore was controlling Viktor, that at this moment Viktor is still pretty much in control of himself and his actions

There's this comic called "a perfect life" about LoL Ekko, where Viktor is the antagonist; it has an oddly similar plot to the second season of arcane, (apparently this comic is from 2023 and by that time Arcane s2 was probably on the last part of production, so Idk why it's similar, but anyway!) In the comic, there's a rich dude offering free prosthetics (augmentations? Let's be honest they are futuristic prosthetics) to the people of Zaun, and everyone goes to get one part of their bodies replaced with technology willingly. Then later it's revealed that Viktor is the one actually doing all the surgeries lmao

But that got me thinking, Viktor in LoL doesn't need better morals, he needs better PR!

Because, people want Viktor's help, the only part they don't like it's the losing humanity and free will, which, understandable

But then, why does everyone still go to Viktor in the series? Because he isn't saying the whole truth

When Ambessa asks him if he could inhabit his followers, Viktor simply says they all share one mind and that it was part of his glorious evolution. He doesn't act surprised, It doesn't seem like he didn't know, he simply shrugs and is like "Yes, this was part of what I wanted"

But he never said that to his followers? When Vi and Jinx are talking to Viktor about healing Vander, Viktor never says "oh, btw, if I do this, your dad is going to lose his individuality and become part of my hive mind, hope that's ok :)". No, he simply says that he'll do what he can to heal him.

And again, you could argue that he lied because the hexcore was controlling him, but I still think that lying was 100% Viktor's choice and the only thing the hexcore could do or did was suggest him to do so

Why am I so sure Viktor wasn't controlled in this moment?

Remember when Viktor first meets Vander, Sky; who is very heavily implied to be the Hexcore, tells him to not save him because it would be too taxing to do so for Viktor. And he says no, that he wants to help Vander, because he thinks Vander it's worth it.

And I think that's all the power the Hexcore has over Viktor, suggest certain things, but at the end Viktor it's still on control; because if Viktor is the Hexcore's host, then it would be very detrimental for both of them if Viktor lost all his energy, both of them could die if that happened; yet Viktor ignored it for Vander's sake

So the lying by omission he did with his commune, if it wasn't his idea, it was something he 100% agreed with. And again, Viktor isn't 100% innocent, he's an intelligent man that knows how to lie and manipulate and will do so if he thinks it's necessary

(Which makes it so old Viktor in LoL is more honest than Arcane Viktor and that's so funny to me lmao)

Now, I know people say that Herald Viktor it's a corrupted version of Viktor, but I don't think so. Not corrupted, but something Viktor always had the potential to be. Herald Viktor was the version of him with the most control over his actions and surrondings; he's the Viktor that was always inside him, the person he would've been if he didn't feel limited by his own body, by his social status, by where he was born, and this shows on how this parallels Jayce's arc

I've seen a lot of people saying that Jayce went through what Viktor had to suffer, having to climb up from the deepest parts of Zaun with a hurt leg to the top of Piltover, only that with Jayce it was literal. But I saw someone on tiktok (I don't remember the account and I can't find the video anymore, sorry :( ) pointing out that Viktor also had to go through what happened to Jayce in the first season

In the first season, Jayce was a scientist with a pretty face and charming personality that was seduced by power, he was suddenly given a lot of it, and instead of holding onto his ideals, he turned away from them. He became a corrupt politician and then used that power to betray Heimerdinger, someone who was very important to him. Later he thought himself judge, jury, and executioner and that resulted in a child from Zaun dying

Viktor finds himself in a similar position, a scientist with a healthy perfect body that was suddenly given a lot of power, he became the leader of a community, someone people looked up to for guidance and help. And then after Jayce rejected him he also thought he was judge, jury, and executioner with the right to do whatever he wanted because he was right and everyone else was wrong. The problem being that Viktor had way more power than Jayce ever did

So, if anything Viktor wasn't being corrupted by the Hexcore, the thing that seduced Viktor was power over other people

And you could say "Viktor during the first season wasn't like that at all" but it's easier to be a good person when you don't have the choice to harm others

Another point to add it's that Arcane is a series that uses a lot of visual storytelling, if you just hear the dialogue you are missing 50% percent of the story at the very least; it trusts you to see what's going on

Now, after Ekko throws the Z drive at him and breaks the mask of the Arcane Herald; we can see the real Viktor underneath

I think this is why a lot of people think the Hexcore was controlling Viktor because we see the Arcane Herald, then we see "real" Viktor underneath, but that's not necessarily the case. In that moment we see half of Viktor's face, but look at what we can exactly see; his whole mouth and one eye are visible

Viktor is seeing what's going on, he understands what is happening around him; but he isn't seeing the whole picture, hence why it's only 1 eye. But his mouth is completely uncovered, whatever he says, that is 100% Viktor no doubt

And if Viktor was truly being controlled by the Hexcore/arcane/void/whatever, that would be the perfect moment for Viktor to snap out of it. For Viktor to say "this isn't me" and fight to get away from the corrupting force

But that isn't what happens, what happens is that Viktor is confused by Jayce's insistence and he says "Why do you persist? After everything I've done" this isn't Viktor saying "oh, I'm being controlled, help" this is him saying "I've done horrible things, why don't you hate me?"

So, Viktor was 100% aware of what was happening, he understood that what he was doing was wrong, and he still did it anyway

To add to this, there's this meme about Arcane that said something like "when in Arcane somebody is robbing banks and killing people the songs will start saying "oh, I'm robbing banks and killing people"" and that's true, and sometimes it's funny; but other times it's useful because the songs say things we aren't seeing

The line is 100% Viktor's song; it's the song that's playing as he erases Vander's memories (and the memories of the rest of his followers as well probably) and decides to give in and transform into the Herald

Once again, if the Hexcore was controlling Viktor, I think the song would've said something like "there's demons in my head" or "I can't help myself"

But no, the line is about someone, in this case Viktor; thinking about the consequences of his actions and if he's ready to accept them

The part where it says

"Honestly

I thought I was fully prepared for

The threshold in store

Stay your pretty eyes on course

I guess I never really faced my fears before

So stay with me because"

For me it's Viktor basically saying "I thought I was ready for the world (Jayce) to hate me; but I'm not so sure if I can face my fears of being alone"

Again, it's not about him not being in control, it's about him knowing that what he's doing is wrong, and that there'll be consequences, but he isn't sure if he's ready to deal with them

Then later, when Jayce shows him what mage Viktor saw; I think for him it was like himself confirming what he already thought or had an idea of what was going to happen, the consequences aren't worth it

After that, when we see Viktor again, this time he is fully visible, with both eyes uncovered because he can finally see the whole picture

But now that I've said that I don't think he was being controlled the question remains, then why was he doing all of that?

And this is more my interpretation of Viktor's story more than anything that happens in the show

So, look at Viktor, he was born in Zaun, disabled, sick, poor; but he managed to climb out of the undercity to Piltover going beyond the social structures that held him back, and even then, he only ever managed to be an assistant to Heimerdinger. That wasn't what he wanted, he himself says it, he was capable of so much more. And I think that Heimerdinger made the mistake of not believing (maybe not on a conscious level) that Viktor could be more; then along comes Jayce; and listen, if Viktor was the only one who truly believed in Jayce, I think the opposite it's also true, Jayce was the only one who believed in Viktor's true potential

Now put yourself in Viktor's shoes, nobody has ever believed in you, you had to drag yourself to the top; then you died and were brought back to life by this monstrous thing that you created that killed an innocent bystander, so you decided to run away to try to make your dream of helping people come true and redeem yourself (because the commune was that for Viktor, his dream of the glorious evolution) just for the only person who truly believed in you, probably the most important person in your life, coming back and rejecting you? I too would want to tear apart the world piece by piece

And the funny part, it's that Viktor is 100% using logic to justify his very irrational decision; no he isn't doing it because he's hurt, he's doing it because he wants to help people! He wants to stop suffering and the best way to do that is to erase free will

That's why I think what Viktor said after being confronted with Jayce in the Astral plane is so important "Why do you persist? After everything I've done" in my mind, after Jayce's rejection, he decided to give up and to do the bad thing; he knew it was wrong, but he decided to do it because he was hurt and wanted to hurt back, then he justified it by saying it was what it was necessary to do

And the funny part is that Singed already explained Viktor's motivation during the series "Why does anyone commits acts others deem unspeakable? For love"

Also, my last point on why I don't think it was Viktor being controlled or corrupted by the hexcore; simply because it would be very boring to do so lmao

Like, if Viktor was being controlled, suddenly a lot of what makes him interesting and complex is gone. So I prefer to think it was Viktor all along, that he always had it in him to do horrible things

[flying-kanery]

I have so much to say about this.

First, OH MY GOSH YES agree with everything 1,000%! Like, I really feel like we don't talk about Hera being all lovey dovey for Kanan enough<3333

Also, I LOVE how unexpected everything must've been for Hera like...girl didn't even think she had the time to get to know this man. Literally, me and my friend who I read A New Dawn with quote, "Maybe in the next lifetime, pal." SO MUCH and it is literally one of my favorite lines in the book. I just think it's so funny because it's like GIRL, little do you know that is literally the father of your future child lmao😂like "maybe in the next lifetime, pal" HA she really thought🤣

also OMG WHAT YOU PUT IN THE TAGS ABOUT HERA BEING DEMISEXUAL! AAAAHHHH!!! IT BROUGHT ME SO MUCH JOY BECAUSE I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THAT AND I HAVE THAT HEADCANON TOO!!! Being demisexual myself, I've always had that headcanon for Hera and related to her needing to get to know Kanan more, and see who he really is deep down before really wanting to be in a relationship with him💚It honestly makes me feel so happy and seen to know that other people have had that thought too, especially since demisexuality isn't very well known or discussed very much. That's why having the headcanon that my favorite character in anything ever (AKA: Hera) is demisexual always made me so happy and it's so amazing to see that other people see her through that lens as well<333

sorry for that super long rant lmao😂😭I just read this and was like OMG!!!

feel a little insane when i think about hera falling in love with kanan.

like. kanan is intrigued by her and attracted to her from the beginning. i mean he's into her from the second he hears her voice. and he's known her a few days max, and he's already thinking to himself, "looking at her in the pilot's chair now, he determined he'd follow her anywhere." like okay lover boy!!!!!

but hera is on a mission when she meets him. and at first, she didn't even intend to recruit him, much less to get to know him, even as a friend: "people with the will to stand up to the empire were worth knowing. but then she remembered that this wasn't a recruiting trip. she needed to keep after her objective. maybe in the next lifetime, pal."

but when things shift and she sees a different side to kanan that has her reconsidering bringing him on board, she knows that he's into her. she knows that he's flirting, and she lets it slide, because she thinks he'll get over it: "he was smitten with her, she could tell - and she was all right with that too. she didn't want to tell him that her war had already begun, and that in war, there was no time for anything else. he would probably understand that eventually."

she makes it very clear that she isn't looking for intimate companionship, that he's being brought on as crew, and nothing more. for her the mission comes first. which also makes it very clear that she never meant to fall for him. but she did!!!

the mission, the fight, the rebellion is still first for her, of course. and from conversations they have in rebels, it seems like hera never let herself think very much about a definitive future for them (because how can they plan for a safe and happy and secure future when the empire is still in power?).

but she opened up to him, opened her heart to him, even after all the personal heartbreak she's already been through. even just becoming friends with him, when he was just supposed to be a helping hand. i doubt it took much for kanan to move from physical attraction to real true feelings for her. but for hera that must have been so much harder to let herself fall. especially when she never meant to fall for him in the first place. and thinking about how hard she must have fallen for him, to get to the point where she would enter a relationship with him in the midst of wartime.

and for them to have built such a strong friendship, in order to then enter such a profound, trusting, intimate, loving partnership. from rebels, we can tell they're equals. they communicate with each other incredibly well; they trust each other; they know that the other is competent and capable.

and i just think that hera finding her person, realizing she's fallen in love with him, and then allowing herself to be in love with him, is just so special and beautiful.

(also thinking about how it took strength and bravery for her to put her heart on the line like that, to fall for him so deeply, and then to have that torn away from her but we don't need to talk about that)

[aishangotome]

[Silvio] A Love Tailored To You Part 1

Credit to @shatcey for providing the video upload.

I woke up in bed this morning to find Silvio lying next to me, his upper body bare.

(……Huh? What did I do yesterday?)

(Is my body so sluggish because Silvio made love to me? No, I can’t remember anything at all.)

As I was desperately trying to remember last night, Silvio turned toward me.

Emma: Good morning, Silvio--

Silvio: You were pretty wild last night, weren’t ya?

(Wild?)

I had no recollection whatsoever, and could only blink my eyes.

Emma: What do you mean?

Silvio: You don’t remember? You were incredibly erotic and bold, like a different person.

Emma: What!?

The more I tried to remember, the more I panicked, and my mind went completely blank.

Silvio slipped his hand under the blanket, watching me with satisfaction.

Emma: S-Silvio…

He caressed my waist, and my body reacted slightly.

Silvio: What, are you still feeling it?

Silvio: Well, yesterday yer legs were wobbly. This is better than that.

Emma: Ah…

His fingertips slid down to my thighs, and the sweet memories that seemed to be engraved on my body smoldered in the pit of my stomach.

(If I can’t remember, does that mean he made love to me so many times that I passed out?)

(I’ve never lost my memory completely before…)

(Let’s try to remember step by step. First, last night, I’m sure it was--)

*flashback*

I was attending a party with Silvio, where many merchants had gathered.

(...Hm?)

A voluptuous beauty approached Silvio, who had been moving about separately.

The woman, looking accustomed to such situations, touched Silvio's shoulder and leaned closer.

Woman: Silvio, would you like to talk over there? I seem to have gotten a little drunk, and I'd like some fresh air.

Woman: A man of Benitoite wouldn't leave a drunk woman alone, would he?

Silvio frowned and lightly brushed away the woman's hand from his shoulder.

Silvio: I'm in the middle of a business discussion. If you want to sober up, do it alone.

Although she was readily dismissed, the woman continued to try to seduce Silvio for a while.

(It's not unusual for Silvio to be approached by women, but it seems to be happening more often than usual today.)

(............)

Even though I tried not to look, my gaze was inevitably drawn in that direction.

In particular, from where I was standing, I had a clear view of the woman's legs peeking out from the daring slit in her dress.

(Silvio certainly looks the part when he's next to a glamorous woman.)

(I've dressed up nicely too, but I don't know if I would look the part in this kind of setting...)

A feeling of unease welled up in my chest, and I looked away from Silvio and walked to a different spot.

Servant: May I offer you something?

Suddenly, a servant appeared beside me, offering a tray with glasses on it.

Emma: Thank you. I'll take one.

Wanting to dispel the unease in my chest, I picked up a whitish drink that I don't usually have––

*back to present*

(I have absolutely no memory of what happened after that.)

Timidly, I peeked at Silvio, and he returned a satisfied, or perhaps mischievous, smile.

Emma: I remember drinking at the party...

Silvio: You don't remember what happened after you drank, do ya?

Emma: ...No.

Silvio: That was Tanzanite liquor. Seems like it didn't agree with you.

Silvio: ...Or should I say it agreed with you a little too well?

The hand that was stroking my thigh lightly pressed against my lower abdomen, and my body jumped slightly.

Emma: Was I that different from usual?

Silvio: Different isn't the word for it. You were like a different person. See, you can do it if you try.

(That much...?!)

The thought of me making a drunken spectacle of myself made me so embarrassed that my face felt like it was on fire.

At the same time, the uneasy feeling I had at the party last night welled up in my chest again.

("You can do it if you try" means that Silvio wants me to be that way, right?)

(Bold like a different person...)

Emma: Do you like me better when I'm bold, Silvio?

Silvio: ............

(What was that expression just now...?)

Silvio averted his gaze for a moment, as if to hide something, and removed his hand from my stomach.

But when his ocean-blue eyes met mine again, they held their usual mischievous smile.

Silvio: You asked me that question last night, didn't you?

(Eh, really?)

Emma: What did you say?

Silvio: I've forgotten.

Emma: You're lying. That's the face you make when you remember.

Silvio: I'm not going to answer twice. Rack your booze-addled brain and try yer best to remember.

Emma: Hey!

Silvio lightly pinched my nose, then quickly threw on his clothes and left the room.

(I don't know how I was acting last night, but)

(If that's what Silvio prefers...)

-

Fighting off my lingering drowsiness, I finished getting ready for the morning. I stopped Carlo, who was passing by in the hallway, and—

Carlo: —Last night, you say?

Emma: Yes, I wanted to ask you what I was like.

.

.

.

.

Part 2

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[lightningant]

There's a lot of fluff about how Harry shows no sign of trauma from his upbringing but maybe it's because I was neglected and often spoken of as extremely well-adjusted, but to me Harry seems to be a pretty natural response to a combination of neglect and a stable upbringing? He's not like. Traumatized. But a lot of people just develop maladaptive habits from these circumstances. Like:

Dissociative tendencies. I know this one is not intentional, but he shows constant lack of focus which interferes with his schooling and will often just space out and stare at things. This is used as a device to point the reader towards plot relevant items and turn them from irrelevant details, but it is something he does.

Harry does not actually distrust adults outright at first! He goes to teachers for help! But he tends to disrespect them, and struggles to think of adults as figures of authority the moment they slip up. Hagrid's bumbling chaos, Quirrell's nerves, Snape beefing with an 11-year-old, McGonagall not taking his Very Real Concerns seriously, Vernon's bluster, these are moments Harry discards their authority - that child thought McGonagall was going to burn him at the stake at first, but was barely shaken by her later. And it makes sense! You are a powerless child, you are looked down on, but the "consequences" you face are things you got used to and feel are normal, so you take strength from being unafraid of punishment.

A lot of fluff is made about abuse victims and independence because yeah, obviously, but I do think a lot of his savior/martyr complex is egged on by his servile role; he lived his entire life apart from the Dursleys, but they relied on him. To be crude, when someone shits the bed he puts it in the washer. And I do think he takes satisfaction in being the best man for the job, and I do think that can breed a whole host of mental problems that will lead you to a fated suicide duel with a Dark Lord

The books are mean-spirited in general, but he learned a lot of the fundamentals on engaging with the world from the Dursleys. He's pretty consistently petty and vindictive! And I genuinely believe Harry is, personally, as a character, fatphobic (in addition to the doylist text being fatphobic), because it was something Dudley gets criticized for and thus something that proves Dudley isn't infallible, and he would have definitely fixated on it and felt comfortable doing so, because that's just how the Dursleys talk about people.

For that matter, he is in general stifled by the inner lives of others - he's somehow the most socially stunted person in a trio with Hermoine in it. He is at all times deeply uncomfortable by the thought that other people have feelings and motivations, and reifies people with strong, clear roles in his life, and a lot of his development is realizing there are people behind those roles. I stand by the fact that Harry naming a child after Snape is a symptom of unaddressed mental illness.

This boy is so unbelievably susceptible to mania. I'll acknowledge a lot of his behaviour is teenage bull-headedness but the way the extremes of "I need to be doing something Now" and catastrophizing only gets worse...You know when he's 30 he's going to get prescribed mood stabilizers

And these are all things that can spiral into really toxic and self-destructive behaviour, which we know because that's what happens in the books. I think part of pushing his trauma in fanfiction is accepting that sometimes when someone is traumatized they develop an awful personality instead of PTSD.

(You may now reread this entire post and think about Tom Riddle.)

[peppermintquartz]

Chris opens the door and embraces Deacon in a warm welcome. He hugs her back with one arm, the other holding flowers and a case of beer. It feels almost like old times.

"It's been too long, man," she chides. "Come on in. Street's so excited, he's gone out to get this amazing tiramisu we found on one of our dates."

"You didn't have to go to that much trouble," Deacon says, smiling. "Oh that smells great."

"My aunt gave me a surefire chili recipe. We've tested it several times, it's definitely good."

"And you look good. How's everything? The shelter doing okay?"

"Yeah," says Chris. "Thanks to Nichelle, I got in touch with some sympathetic ears and they've been super generous, and I've been able to find a steady roster of volunteers. Plus, with our rep, we're left alone for the most part, and anyone trying anything gets warned off fast by the ones running the block."

Deacon makes a face. "Not sure if that's the safest way to go about things."

"Gotta work both sides of the law now," Chris says with a shrug. Deacon means well but he's still a straight white man who has always lived in privilege. "But my girls are all on the straight and narrow. I've fourteen of them with me, and six have found sponsors to help them to get work permits, which will help with getting full documentation. I'm helping another two cooperate with police because they were smuggled here after being sold by their parents for cash, and the rest... well, we'll get there." She grimaces before grinning. "Sorry. I get excited talking about my work."

"No, no it's good. I'm happy for you." Deacon hands her the colorful bouquet and the beer. "It's great that you found your purpose."

Thanking him for the gifts and rummaging around for a vase or jug for the flowers, she asks, "So how come you're here alone? I was under the impression that it'll be you and Annie. Wine?"

"Water, please. I'm driving." Deacon sits down in one of the chairs around the dining table. She wonders what he notices about the place on his second visit. It's a cozy apartment, despite the industrial elements; she especially likes the new potted herbs Street has insisted upon, even though neither of them can tell a cabbage from a lettuce.

"I, uh, I wanted to chat with you, actually. Not, not chat." Deacon says as he rubs his wedding ring. "I want your advice on something that I need you to keep secret."

An odd feeling tickles the back of her neck. She sits down in the chair beside him, wondering if she should hold her friend's hand. "Sounds serious."

"I think it is." He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, like he's planning to dive into the deep end of a pool. "Chris, how and w-when did you know you're bisexual?"

Chris' eyebrows shoot up. That is definitely not a question she was expecting. "Uh. Okay. For me, I was fifteen and really into a boy, a classmate." Enrique Garcia, she recalls, lean and athletic with the cutest freckle on his right cheek, with a shoulder-length mop of gleaming dark curls. "And then, one day, I met him and his older sister Alina at the mall. She was really nice when we talked and my mind kinda went a little insane thinking how pretty she was and how much I'd love to kiss her."

"And that was... That was how you knew?"

She shrugs. "Some reading up and some very confusing dreams later, I kinda figured it out." She angles her head and studies Deacon. "Are you...?"

"Fifteen, wow." Deacon chews on his lower lip. The tips of his ears are red and he can't meet her eyes. "Maybe I'm too old for this."

"You met someone who's causing you to question everything you knew about your sexuality?"

He ducks his head, still fiddling with his wedding ring. "Yes," he admits quietly. "And I know, I know it's not good, I'm married and I have Annie, it's just really..."

Chris smiles and holds his forearm. "Confusing."

"So confusing," Deacon agrees with a brief chuckle. His voice sounds so unsure and lost that it's disorienting for Chris. That isn't the Deacon she has known for the past decade. "Annie is the perfect woman for me. Like, once I met her and got to know her, I knew she was the one I wanted to marry and have a family with. And I thought that was it. That that is all I would ever need or want."

"But now you've met someone. Some guy."

Ducking his head, Deacon bites his lip and shakes his head. "I'm over fifty, Chris. I shouldn't be having sexuality crises at this age. But, yes. I met some guy."

"He's that special, huh." Chris hopes she doesn't sound judgmental. Having been through this with her own family, she feels for him. And a part of her feels honored that someone she respects so much will choose to come out to her. "Am I the first to know?"

"Yes." He clears his throat. "I never thought I would be interested in a man like that. And yet... I feel happy whenever I see him. I worry about him at work. I hear a song on the radio and it'll remind me of him."

There's something that Deacon is hiding. After so many years as a cop and now helping scared women, she's learned to read between the lines.

Still holding his forearm, she says, "Thanks for trusting me with this, Deac. I'm so honored by your trust."

He sniffs and finally looks at her, his eyes dewy with a hint of tears. "Chris, am I bisexual?"

"You could be," she says. "I can't answer for you. I'm not some mind reader for queer people. You might be attracted to women in general and one guy in particular, and that's normal. Sexuality is a spectrum and the great thing is, you get to define yourself. It may feel overwhelming-"

"Understatement of the year."

"-but I can point you in the direction of some websites or resources you can refer to. Don't be surprised if any are angled at teens, though. Most people who are questioning tend to be young."

"Unlike this old geezer," Deacon jokes weakly. She squeezes his forearm as she grins, then lets go of him.

"You're never too old to learn new tricks, Deac." Taking a deep breath, Chris leans closer and says, "I'm gonna ask something that may be invasive, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but you may feel better if you do."

Deacon sighs like he knows what's coming and looks at her.

"Are you seeing this guy?"

The guilt that flickers over Deacon's face tells Chris enough.

"Oh, Deac..." She pulls him into a hug.

"I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to know about that," he murmurs.

She squeezes him and pulls back enough to smile at him. "I'm your friend, Deac. But you know you can't have him."

He nods, pressing his lips tightly together. "I know. I wish... I don't know what I wish. But Chris... Chris, I'm so happy when I'm with him." There's a waver in his voice. "I didn't know that I could even be this happy with anyone."

Not even with Annie.

The words are not said, but she hears them as clear as day. She hugs him again.

They hear the keys jingle and Deacon straightens, rubbing his thumb and index finger over his eyes while clearing his throat.

"Hey, Deacon!" Street comes in with an insulated bag and Chris stands up to welcome him with a kiss. His dimples deepen and his eyes light up. "Hey babe. Deac, come here, bring it in."

Deacon smiles and hugs Street. The mask has fallen back in place over Deacon's face and Chris makes sure hers is present too.

"I'll go plate up dinner," she says with a smile, kissing Street again as she passes him and takes the tiramisu from his hands, leaving the two men to catch up. Deacon won't tell Street what he told her; that's not the friendship they have, and she knows he trusts her not to tell anyone what he's revealed to her.

It's not her secret to tell, and Deacon will need time. He'll do the right thing, she's sure. She only hopes he figures out what the right thing for him will be.

[inert-displacement]

Hey! Just wanted to. I guess speak on behalf of everyone. Something I am definitely in a position to do.

First, absolutely without a doubt, your word should be final when it comes to your body. Only you know what you want, and no-one else has the authority or the right to tell you what to do with it.

I think people might just be a little. Confused? I guess? Coz like you said, you don't take sexual satisfaction from gaining weight or maintaining a heavier weight. In itself, completely fine - gaining definitely isn't for everyone - but you do run a gaining blog. Using gaining tags. And post in a very pro-gaining way a lot of the time. And it kinda feels like you snap between being very pro- and very anti-gaining...suddenly. And often. Which can be a bit disorienting from an outside perspective.

If you dislike being skinny, also perfectly fine - but if you don't like gaining, it strikes people who do as quite an unusual avenue by which to address disliking being skinny.

To speak personally, it sounds like you might be experiencing some kind of body dysmorphia - not gender dysphoria, which sounds similar but is very different - where you dislike how you perceive yourself physically. It sounds like you're addressing that in a very intuitive and sensible way: changing how your body looks. But if you don't like how your body looks now either, it might be worth just chatting with someone with some professional experience about addressing it, coz it might run deeper than what your body looks like.

If you do like how your body looks now though, you just don't want to be involved in gaining: brilliant! Being heavier doesn't have to be a kinky thing: it's a kinky thing for us, but it's also just a completely neutral fact about a person.

What can happen, and I've seen happen before, is people can enter the gaining scene because they enjoy being a little heavier in a completely non-sexual way, but the people around them in their everyday lives are like. Vehemently against it. So they find communities online that support them. But the thing is, there's a middle ground between people who are totally anti-fat and. Y'know. Fetishists. It's what we talk about when we talk about the body positivity movement! If you're healthy and happy, it isn't for anyone else to make you feel bad about how you look. And there's a thriving online space for that as well! Hell, a lot of us are kind of part-and-parcel members in a non-sexual context.

I would say, in either case, the online gaining community might not be for you. We totally support whatever decision you choose to make, but if gaining fundamentally isn't your thing, we're ill-suited to help you get what you want from your body or environment.

Let me rephrase something. I completely love the idea of getting bigger and fatter. Makes me aroused every single time. But the actual eating part I can’t get aroused by like others can.

I enjoy getting bigger than what I was and at time it is very intoxicating and erotic. But being a cheerleader I’ve learned to become very vain with how I look because the culture I’ve been apart of is just very self deprecating.

I do enjoy this community it’s very lovely i just tend to get very down on myself sometimes and often very ashamed of myself.

Because I live in the south anything that’s sexually deviant is shameful. And I feel that this fetish is very deviant from traditional sexual behavior. So I often get conflicted about myself.

I have had this kink since forever, I used to shove pillows

In my shirt as a kid, blow balloons up in my shirt. And that was at a time when I had anorexia (ironic asf) but my relationship with food is better but I don’t want to be gluttonous or greed because as a kid I’d get yelled at for that!

Sorry for the long long long post but I hope this has cleared up a lot and makes my mindset more clear to all of you🫶🏻

[adobe-outdesign]

What's your opinion on the petpet Wadjet?

Wadjets are mostly just a snake, but they have a distinct Lost Desert flair to them. Outside of the eye liner, their bodies have a distinct ringed look to them with thick black accent lines, which fits the land without being too over-the-top about it and makes them very pretty. It's even said they can be mistaken for necklaces when around a Neopet's neck, which I think is cute and works well with their design.

I will say though that their art is very dated—they were released in 2001 and never redrawn, and it shows (especially in the larger How to Draw art above). Not only do they have very light shading that's barely noticeable, but the lineart's a bit too thin and looks almost wobbly in a few spots. The L pose also feels a little unnatural, like their body should curl down at the bend and then go up. This TCG art looks pretty good as a clean-up example, though I do think the gold rings should curve around the upper body more:

I'd love to see a redraw for these guys to clean them up, but given how low that is on TNT's concerns list I wouldn't expect to see it anytime soon.

Favorite Colours:

Rainbow: There's very little to talk about in terms of colours for these guys because they're all pretty generic, but I like the rainbow one quite a bit. I think it's neat how the rings divide each color change and it keeps the gold accents separate, which some other colours fail to do.

Ghost: I like how this one takes all the yellow accents and makes them red instead of just making the rings the same color as the body; it really makes it pop and balances the colors nicely.

Yellow: There's nothing really special about this one, but given that the Wadjet already has gold accents by default I think it looks really pretty with a yellow base and deeper golden yellow rings.

Least Favorite Colour:

Royal: You probably could argue that this isn't as bad as some of the bland Wadjet colours, but I don't know, this one just doesn't do it for me. Even if you can put aside how they just kept the body green instead of choosing something to match the palette, the robe covers up all the interesting body markings. There's also something weird about putting European king clothing on a creature from the Neopets equivalent of ancient Egypt.