#this isn't going to bed. I'm going to bed. whatever.
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idkwhatever580 · 3 days ago
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The rings on the two specific fingers is such a nice touch yall don’t even know.
Also I can just see how Glinda has her arms moving backwards to catch her as she lets Elphaba moves her to the bed
I can imagine how they might speak 😭
I am definitely about to write a clip for this because I have to... It's like an obligation
Read whatever tf I wrote under the cut :)
if it isn't already obvious Glinda=Pink Elphaba=Green
Also, I apologize for the overuse of "Ozian" words
...
Oh Elphie-
Is this what you meant?
I- I kind of meant that you’d use the tips on someone else but- I think I’m okay with this too
Are you sure? We don't have to do anything if you're uncomfortifiable... (Ever the gentlewoman)
Would you just shut up and smooch me!
Whatever you say, Miss Upland...
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Bonus (that ended up being longer than the first part):
*The poor poor students that room below Glinda and Elphaba that I have used a random name generator to name Simran (blue) and Pemphero (orange)*
...
Ugh. Galinda and Elphaba are at it again!
It's Glinda now, don't you remember? She changed her name in honor of Dr. Dillamond.
Okay okay, Glinda and Elphaba are making a disturberance again! Is that better?
*insert obscene noises coming from Glinda and Elphaba's room above them*
You know... This never happened before... They used to just yell at each other all the time and fight, but ever since they went to The Emerald City and all they have just been doing this.
Yeah... I wonder what happened...
Enemies to lovers trope?
No absolutely not there is no way that they are your basic, average enemies to lovers trope...
I mean....
Actually? Now that I think about it, you might have something going with that...
I know right?!
*More lewd sounds from above*
but that doesn't negate the fact that these girls are intercoursifying above us when I need to be studying for the Linguification test!
yeaahhh... I'm gonna go to my partner's room to run from this... try the library?
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According to "The Tab" website, these are the definitions of the words I used that already existed.
Disturberance: (noun) something loud and upsetting
Linguification: (noun) the study of words, and the least popular class at Shiz University.
And these are the definitions of the words I made up. (I struggled through this because I am not this creative)
Uncomfortifiable: (adjective) the feeling of discomfort, or disdain
Intercoursifying: (verb) the act of having sexual intercourse in a rowdy way that can disturb others.
Anyways I hope y'all liked it! Have a good day people!!!
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little ways to flirt and flounce
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drenosa · 1 day ago
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Jaune: I was visited by my sleep paralysis demon again. She'd be sitting on the side of my bed, the mattress sinking under her weight even though it isn't real. I can never quite see her face, shrouded in darkness as it always is. She touches me, on the arm, my face, her motions as if she's trying to sooth me. I'm terrified of course. I can't move and this creature is... wrong. So paradoxical in how she fills me with fear and comfort both. Her eyes glint an eldritch green, looking at something within me. She smiles at me, I know this despite not being able to see her. The smile is supposed to be comforting, caring, yet all I imagine is rows of sharp triangular teeth waiting to devour me as I lay paralysed and unable to even moan or whimper. With a shock I would regain control of my limbs, throwing of my blanket in one go. I'm awake and the demon's gone.
Weiss: *Feeling nauseous with dread by proxy* When I asked if you had a decent night's rest, I expected a yes or a no. Not... whatever that was!
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themalhambird · 1 day ago
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Considering Celebrimbor is the ONLY one of the main elves we never saw Adar interact with, my brain is doing a really good job of locking onto the idea of a Celebrimbor x Adar Political Marriage AU.
No, I don't know exactly how that would come about - something something elves and uruks united against The Shadowy Threat of Sauron whatever. Celebrimbor looks *hard* at Gil-galad when he asks if he would agree to it and is just...."If I say yes do you promise to give me Many Forge Supplies for a wedding present?"
Adar, for his part, isn't exactly interested in having a husband so much as the PRINCIPLE of it being openly acknowledged he's good enough for an Elf-Lord. Anyway they get married, discover over the course of the wedding dinner that they actually find each other interesting company, and proceed to have a cordial acquaintence with Adar staying at Eregion far more than he anticipated, like he'll stomp up to the forge with a really big sack over his shoulder and all the elves are eyeing him warily and he just dumps it at Celebrimbor's feet like: "here's a load of old and broken armour for you to play with only some of it was stolen directly from corpses" and Celebrimbor's all "Lovely now come and look at this, I've was thinking about the whole sunshine problem your children have and what started out as a thought exercise accidently became detailed schematics for enormous mobile rooftops you can extend before making camp so that the shade covers you even in daylight. "
Anyway. It takes them far too long to realise that they're actually into each other. Adar's letting Celibrimbor braid his hair and Celibrimbor's letting Adar make him go to bed if he's been working for too many hours straight and they're still referring to eachother as "possibly something of a friend" Eregion elves and the Uruks who set up base in Eregion's vicinity whenever Adar goes to see Celebrimbor are actually starting to interact with each other by virtue of having "how are they this oblivious about it?????" as a conversation starter.
Eventually Adar has an "oh no he's hot" moment and promptly flees Eregion because he's convinced Celebrimbor would be repulsed If he actually tried anything romantic and /or sexual. Celebrimbor is puzzled and hurt, but a stranger comes to Eregion and affords a little distraction.
This Annatar fellow is so very interested in the mithrael rings Celebrimbor made to reflect the light of the Valar, though Celebrimbor's not sure he follows his reasoning for sets to be made for either dwarves or men. Still, pleasent company. Until he starts suggesting that Gil-Galad debased Celebrimbor and his authority by forcing him into marriage with an orc, at which point Celebrimbor punches him in the face without thinking...
Merdarnia and the other smiths are very exasperated that "I think I'm in love with Adar" is somehow a bigger revelation to the Lord of Eregion than "I punched Annatar in the face and he turned out to be Sauron, he has now taken over the city and is holding us hostage."
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runningfrom2am · 2 days ago
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moon river // part two
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summary: people in lincoln county are dropping dead alongside their livestock, the wells are running dry and children are prompted from their beds to wander unconsciously in the night. billy has been hired as a last resort by the lawmen as a bounty hunter, charged with the task of hunting and killing the witch responsible in exchange for a reward and the clearing of his name. how could he turn that down?
pairing: william h. bonney x fem!reader
wc: 2k
masterlists / nav / requests
tags/warnings: witch!reader x bounty hunter!billy, warning for like,,, witchcraft and stuff i suppose?? mentions of death, minor amounts of gore and animal mutilation. devil worship and other supernatural/biblical tea. also angst. probably.
my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)
send me any and all of your thoughts! here!
series masterlist // pinterest board // playlist
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To you, Billy was a reluctant friend slowly wrapping vines of ivy around your ankles and up your calves. You didn't mind the itch of his constant presence on your mind, especially when the final destination of its growth was your heart. You were too busy setting up the trellis to be concerned about keeping it trimmed, anyway.
He would come and go from your forest home like the change of seasons that turned more and more often as time went on. He'd sit with you while you tended the graves, and spend afternoons with you in your cabin while you baked fresh bread or cookies, willing to eat whatever you made even if he couldn't for the life of him figure out where your ingredients came from.
"You know," You hum one day, sitting on a blanket outside your little cabin that was almost as covered in ivy as you felt. "You are lucky the town isn't really cursed."
Billy scoffs out a laugh from his spot next to you, laid back on the blanket with his hat over his face to simulate a nap in the sun he wasn't truly taking. "Yeah, I'd say so."
"Well, of course, but what I mean is that you folks went about it all wrong." You explain, closing and placing the book in your lap to the side. "With a curse of that magnitude, typically it culminates with the casting witch's death. So if you had found them and killed them like you planned, it would've only gotten worse."
"Darlin', sounds like you're still pleading with me for your life." Billy chuckles, lifting his hat a little bit to be able to look over at you from beneath its shade. He's met with his favourite view, you, with the sunlight dancing off your skin and gleaming with the strength of your smile.
You roll your eyes playfully, gently picking up some stray leaves of grass from the blanket and tossing them aside. "I know you're not gonna kill me," You giggle, "and you know I'm not responsible."
"That I do." He confirms, pushing himself to sit up. He takes in the view surrounding your home, the trees that encase this little paradise made up of a small frog pond and an unsurprisingly extensive garden. You grew nearly everything you ate out here, the forest providing you with a perfect amount of sun to help them grow and rain to help them thrive. That's what he assumed, anyway.
"It is, anyway though. Gettin' worse." He mumbles after a few moments of contemplative quiet, helping you dust off the blanket and peeking casually over at the cover of your book. The Eldritch Arbetorum I. He knows less than nothing about what that means, but part of him wishes he could.
"The crops and such? I'm sorry to hear that." You frown, chewing on your lip while you think about it. Maybe there was something you could do, but you doubted the townsfolk would let you get close enough for a long enough period to try. "What about the animals?"
"Every week, like clockwork." Billy replies with a click of his tongue and the slightest shake of his head.
You chew on your lip, watching him closely. It's weighing on him, you can tell. From what he's told you he's a wanted man, yes, but he has a good heart. You know that much for sure. Even when he came all this way carting a bullet with your name, he was doing it to save people.
"What about..." You start, hesitating on how to ask this. "The local children? All are well?"
Billy scrunches up his nose a bit in thought, still avoiding your eyes. "Well enough, from what I know. None have died, at least. I hear whispers that some are sick."
Your cat, Dante, scurries through the grass and onto the blanket beside you, chirping toward you as he crawls up onto your lap. Instinctively you let your hands find comfort in his fluffy orange fur, taking in Billy's words.
The children are okay, that's all that really matters.
"Good, that's good." You say softly, giving him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure they will recover well. I'll send you back with some tonic, if you would be willing to leave it with the parents. Something that should help."
"Yeah... yeah, that would be nice." Billy's already considering how exactly he would go about that- not many folks liked an outlaw dampening their doorsteps. Especially not to give them something for their kids to drink. He would have to leave it on the porch with a note, or something. Then it would be up to them to decide how desperate they were for a solution to their kids plight. "Why do you ask, though? About the kids."
Your eyebrows raise slightly in shock, and it takes you a second to respond. A second in which Dante takes the opportunity to glare at Billy, a low growl leaving his tiny form. He had yet to forgive Billy for trying to take his mom from him, though it was a mystery how he knew about that. Or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't met another living soul in the five years of his short life in which he had been out here in the woods with you, but Dante made it clear at every turn that he did not like your new friend.
You gently pat the cat's head to get him to stop, which he promptly does, before you come up with an answer.
"I was just wondering." You say, tilting your head with a smile that's mildly dismissive. "You know, if people are falling ill. I was hoping the kids would be spared."
"Yeah, fair enough." Billy agrees, his eyes darting between you and your fluffy orange companion. He tended to become a lot more skittish around Dante, ironically enough- but that likely came from being bit and swatted at by tiny claws one too many times over the last few weeks.
You reach over the edge of a blanket to a nearby flower blossoming from the healthy dirt that surrounded your home, swirling your hand around its unopened petals. Your action seems to encourage it to bloom, and Billy watches, his smile returning and the worried crease in his brow ceasing as you gently pluck the stem from the ground. "For you."
He was in awe of you at every turn, his cheeks flushing as he takes the flower from your extended hand. "Thank you, darlin'." He grins, turning the stem to look at it before looking up at you again. "I ain't ever been given a flower before. That's sweet of you."
He brings it up to his nose to smell its purple petals in a somewhat dramatic gesture before grabbing his hat and tucking it under the black ribbon around the outside. "You like it?" He asks as he places it back on his head.
"Yeah." You giggle, nodding as you look at the new accessory to his hat. It wouldn't last forever, but for now, it was cute. Even as it further blurred the lines of what your relationship was. Though, that was mostly your doing by gifting him a flower in the first place. "Purple is a good colour on you, I think."
"Ah, thanks, sunshine." He chuckles, removing the hat to examine it further. "It suits you a bit more, I'm not much for colours myself."
"You like blue, though." You reply, pleased to move on from the anxiety inducing topic of the problems going on in town. "And that red sweater."
"That's true." He admits, shrugging slightly. "My ma always dressed me in blue, though. She gave me that sweater too, matter of fact."
"A mother's touch, I see. She had good taste. As most mothers do." You say, with that same lighthearted tone that keeps him coming back to visit you. That, among a variety of other things, being just about everything about the energy you exude in waves. A silent battle he's been waging in his mind for a long time now; whether you get your power from the forest or if it gets it from you. Secretly, he's leaning toward the latter.
The topic of his family was something he hated breaching in the best of times, but your voice, sweet like honey in his ears makes it easier. You seem to do that with everything you touch.
When the skies outside of the forest started darkening in the coming weeks, perpetually clouded but never granting the county a drop of its refreshing rain, people got more anxious. It was like a palpable negativity in the air, crowding the increasingly empty main street. It was nearly always quiet, never a direct threat but people were packing up and leaving based on the energy in the air alone- and Billy couldn't blame them in the slightest.
It was noon, around midday, he was sure- when the overcast and dim sky provided enough cover for a break in. About twenty yards prior he'd dismounted to lead her, after she started to get clearly irritated and not want to take the worn path they normally did to get to the edge of your forest.
The sound of glass shattering at a nearby home drowns out the crickets song, making Billy turn his head toward the commotion coming from the ranch home not far off. Then the screaming, a woman's scream- the scream of a mother losing a child, a cry he had heard before and rocked him to his core in a way that made his stomach turn and his feet move in that direction against his will.
Dante alerted you to Billy's near arrival, high pitched meows quickly approaching the porch as he hops up onto the window sill in your little cottage kitchen.
"Oh, hush- it's just Billy." You scold him with a slight laugh, reaching up to ruffle the cats fur. The insistent meows continued, and you could feel the prick of his upturned hairs, which told you something was wrong, this time. It was Billy though, you could feel his energy in the air. The usual dreary grey feeling of loss and loneliness normally overshadowed by his cheerful blue, the weight of his good intentions falling dull to the sadness this afternoon.
You glance out the window, brow furrowing slightly as you quickly hang the last few bits of lavender to dry on the twine to be draped over the rafters this evening. Brushing your hands off on the front of your skirt and hurrying to the door, you're not sure what happened or what you're about to be met with, but Dante follows dutifully.
"Billy?" You call, just as he comes into the clearing, having forced his horse to carry him quicker through the trail he would normally take on foot, through the thick trees and branches that this time parted to let him through.
He jumps down from his horse, narrowly avoiding falling into your little pond and disturbing the family of toads you know don't like to be unsettled during the late afternoon.
You reach out with a slight wince, but relax when he steps over the edge of the water in his effort to get to you, digging into his pocket and holding out his flask with urgency as he grabs your upper arm, startling you away from your relief that the toads would be okay.
Billy's eyes are wide, hair mussed under his hat and breathing slightly shallow as you look up at him with a confused furrow to your brow.
"Can you tell me what's in here?"
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no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!
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stilljuststardust · 2 days ago
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hii i would need some advice.
after finding out about manifesting it became tricky for me to care about the 3D, not only in the good way but also the bad. like - I dont do stuff because i tell myself that I have it anyways you know. im still taking the Basic care of myself but i stopped studying and doing anything, I kinda just bedrot because "i already have it all" why would i do anything. I dont know how to battle that and logically tell myself to do something.
thank you
Why manifestation doesn't mean nothing matters:
I went through the same thing and the truth was that I cared very much about the 3D I just was depressed and deeply nihilistic.
I want to address the beliefs you've stated about manifestation but I think you should focus on the underlying mental health issue. This has all the traits of a depressive episode and should be treated as such. I am addressing the manifestation aspect because clearly it has been fueling your episode and I hope that this will help change your perspective even a little.
"the 3D doesn't matter" is a really common phrase. When I first heard it I wasn't familiar with loa and it was instead something a friend kept repeating. It scared the shit out of me.
The phrase is meant to convey that circumstances zre never able to prevent your manifestation and that you get to determine what you want in your reality regardless of whether or not it has physically manifested yet.
What it accidentally ended up becoming was "nothing is real nothing matters" which if you have any kind of mental health issue is a deeply triggering phrase.
The 3D isn't worthless it just isn't a factor in whether or not you can manifest something. The 3D is real. The 3D is something that matters because it matters to you.
The 4D isn't some mystical far off land, it's literally just your thoughts, visualizations, and internal experiences, and I doubt that those are all in alignment with your goals right now. When I was depressed my inner monologue was less "my life is so great" and more "why aren't I doing more" so that feeling piled up on itself and bled into my 3D until I wasn't doing anything.
The 3D is malleable and you can manifest anything within it yes but why should that mean you can't care about it? If you're manifesting it's probably because you care about your life and want it to improve.
To be clear I don't believe that nothing matters but even if it didn't why should that mean we give up on the things that make us happy? Nothing matters so do whatever the fuck you want. This doesn't make you happy so why should you do it if suffering is also meaningless?
The underlying mental health issue:
Disclaimer: I'm not a professional anything I say about depression is from personal experience. Please seek professional guidance.
This has all of the common signs of a depressive episode. It seems to me that you have a serious underlying mental health struggle and you've been using "nothing matters" as a way to justify staying in it.
I would like to start with: there is nothing wrong with you and this is not your fault.
There definitely was a time I thought the same way because I was scared to try to get better. Starting recovery can be scary because often there is a backwards comfort in leaning into it because you're no longer putting pressure on yourself to "do better".
"Nothing matters so why should I try" isn't loa, it's nihilism, and a very common mantra for those suffering with depression. You're not alone in thinking it.
If you want my advice as someone who's been there:
Obviously no advice I give you is going to cure you but I can give you tools that helped me.
Meet yourself where you're at. Don't try to go from bed rotting today to climbing a mountain tomorrow. It's like how you can't jump from the first level to the boss fight of the video game. You don't need to have all of it under control your goal should start one step above where you're at. So instead of a whole list of things you need to catch up with just start with showering or your hygiene. Keep that as your only goal until it's become a normal part of your life again and implement new goals in a similar way.
Every video I ever watched on self improvement overwhelmed me with everything I wasn't doing. The weight of my expectations for myself was the heaviest part of my episodes. Eventually I committed to the idea that I had only one responsibility and it was showering, anything else is just a bonus. Be kind to yourself. If all you change is the way you talk to yourself about it you will feel better. It's easy to fall into cycles of beating yourself up for everything you wish you were doing but that isn't benefitting you in any way. Give yourself some compassion.
Links
Against nihilism - john green
How to handle the 3D when manifesting
Mental health subliminal
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writingwithciara · 6 hours ago
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pure innocence -chris sturniolo-
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summary: chris finds himself constantly dreaming about his best friend. his very innocent best friend, or so he thought
word count: 2.2k
pairing: chris sturniolo x best friend!reader; a brief moment of matt sturniolo x reader
notes: i'm still a matt girl but chris is so adorable. sorry if some things repeat. tumblr keeps deleting the start of my fics and replacing the first paragraph with a duplicate. it's crazy. w: suggestive content, onlyfans
masterlist
chris watched from across the pool as matt held y/n up on his shoulders. they were in the middle of a game of chicken against nick and madi.
the longer he watched, the harder it was getting for him.
it was his fault though. she had asked for him to be her partner but he declined the offer and matt volunteered instead.
matt’s grip tightened as y/n and madi kept trying to knock each other down. y/n struggled but managed to make nick stumble back a little. she looked down at matt and he nodded in approval as she reached out and pushed madi off nick’s shoulders.
matt’s grip tightened as y/n and madi kept trying to knock each other down. y/n struggled but managed to make nick stumble back a little. she looked down at matt and he nodded in approval as she reached out and pushed madi off nick’s shoulders.
“we are undefeated!” she cheered as matt helped her get off his shoulder. she hugged him and chris noticed the emotion going into it. he couldn’t take it anymore.
he stood up quickly and headed for the back door.
“where you going chris?”
“bathroom.” he lied and before y/n could respond, he was disappearing into the house. y/n turned to matt.
“that was weird, right?”
“totally weird.” he shook his head. “who’s up for another round of chicken?”
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chris had been lying on his back, looking up at the ceiling in his bedroom when there was a soft knock. he didn't even have to ask who it was, instantly remembering the knock pattern they had created when they were 8.
she poked her head in a few seconds later and chris sat up as she approached him.
"what was up with you earlier?"
"don't know what you're talking about." he tried to ignore it but he knew he wouldn't be getting away with it.
"out at the pool a few hours ago, you were acting weird. why?"
"wanna talk about weird? let's talk about how touchy you and matt were getting out there."
"we...we were playing chicken. and you could've been my partner but you refused. that's on you."
"after you guys won, you got a little too close. it was weird. there's clearly something going on between you. you guys have got to be hooking up."
"we are not hooking up. we hugged. that's it. why are you so annoyed by it?"
"because matt has feelings for you. isn't it obvious?"
"you're being ridiculous, christopher." y/n scoffed and shook her head. "matt doesn't have feelings for me and even if he did, what business is it of yours, hmm?"
"he told me he liked you. so before you go calling me ridiculous for telling you, maybe you should think a little."
"whatever, chris." y/n turned and grabbed the door knob. "when you're done being weird, you know where i'll be."
before chris could respond, y/n was gone. he collapsed back on his bed and sighed.
this was not how things were supposed to pan out for him.
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after the day in the pool, madi and nick retreated to nick's room while y/n & matt went to his room to play video games.
"is it just me or has chris been acting really weird today?" matt was the first to speak.
"he has. and not just today either. for the past week at least." y/n sighed.
"you talked to him earlier. did he say anything?"
"he said it was weird how close you and i were getting in the pool today."
"okay he's being ridiculous." matt paused the game and looked at y/n. "why does he even care how close we got today?"
"i don't know. he didn't divulge that information to me." y/n played with her bracelet. "the only other thing he told me was that you had a crush on me. i don't believe that at all though."
“no. that’s definitely not true. you’re like a sister to me and i wouldn’t be stupid enough to jeopardize that by discovering feelings for you.” matt smiled. “chris is just being an idiot.”
“he really makes this feelings thing so hard.”
“oh my god. you like chris? since when?”
“uh......since senior prom.” y/n sighed. “dylan dumped me before the dance so i was home alone when chris showed up. he had ditched his own date to make sure i was okay. he brought over snacks and my comfort movie and i realized at that moment that i loved him.”
“wait, he ditched daniella? he had been in love with her since 7th grade & the fact he gave up a night with her to check on you should say something.”
“what are you hinting at, matthew?”
“i’m saying that i think chris has feelings for you.” matt smirked while y/n groaned and slide her hands down her face. “that’s adorable.”
“if that was true, then why won’t he just come out and say it?”
“because, as we established earlier, chris is an idiot.”
"while that is true, i really don't think he likes me that way."
"fine. don't believe me. but when am i ever wrong?" matt resumed his game, leaving y/n to think about what he said.
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sometime after midnight, everyone was asleep. except for chris, who had woken up from a rather weird dream. it wasn't odd that he was dreaming about y/n. it had been happening for quite sometime now.
the weird part of his dream was that someone anonymously sent him a link to a video of his very innocent best friend. he didn't want to click on it but his curiosity got the best of him and he ended up opening the video. it was basically a sex tape. of her and matt. posted to her onlyfans page.
chris shook the thought out of his head and grabbed his phone. he had to check to see if she even had a page.
he created a fake account just to find out if she had one. and when he searched her name, it didn't come up. he was relieved but something on the screen caught his attention.
under the 'similar creators' section, he saw a profile picture where the girl in the picture had the same birthmark on her stomach that y/n had.
so naturally, he clicked on the profile just to check. when he saw her name across the top of the page, he nearly dropped his phone.
he sat up in bed and hovered over the subscribe button, hesitating. he didn't know if he wanted to see the videos. it would ruin the innocence of his best friend. but the more he thought about it, the more he realized she was never as innocent as she pretended to be. and that thought was what motivated him to hit the subscribe button.
as he scrolled through the content, chris knew it was wrong. but he paid for the videos so he should get to see them, right?
one video in particular caught his eye.
he caught a glimpse of someone with his arm covered in tattoos in the thumbnail and his mind immediately thought about matt.
"oh please tell me my dream wasn't true." chris rubbed his eyes and hit play. as it played, he knew he was screwed. his best friend had really created a video with his brother and everything about it bothered him. "how could she choose matt when i'm the one who loves her?"
it was no longer a dream and was a harsh reality that chris would have to face soon.
he put his phone back on the charger and closed his eyes. maybe he could forget all about the video if he forced himself to dream.
but that didn't work. the second his eyes were closed, all he could see were images of y/n and matt.
"screw this." he threw the blanket off his body and walked upstairs to the kitchen. he wasn't expecting to see y/n standing at the counter with a bowl of cereal in her hand. the spoon was halfway to her mouth when she noticed chris.
"what are you doing up? have you finally decided to apologize for earlier?"
"what do you mean?" chris looked at her oddly. he truly had no idea what she was talking about. as far as he was concerned, she was the one who should be apologizing. "you should be apologizing."
"me? what for?"
"you lied to me earlier."
"when did i do that?"
"when you told me you and matt weren't hooking up."
"we're not." y/n rolled her eyes. "why would you think that?"
"i found your onlyfans page."
"w-what? i have no idea what you're talking about."
"don't play dumb with me. i found your page and saw a video with you and matt. how could you lie to me?"
"it was a one time thing. hasn't happened in months. therefore, i was not lying when you asked me if i was hooking up with matt. if you had asked me if we had hooked up and i said no, that would've been lying."
"whatever. same shit." chris looked at her. "why did you choose matt?"
"oh, chrissy." y/n set her cereal down and stepped closer. "you sound a little jealous."
"s-so what if i am?" chris took a second to look at her.
"awe, baby." y/n could sense a slight nervousness to chris' words. "if you wanted me, all you had to do was ask."
and before chris could respond, y/n had disappeared into matt's room.
he needed her.
he wanted her.
but he had absolutely no idea how to go about getting her. even though she just told him all he had to do was ask, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
he wanted to keep the untainted image of his best friend as long as possible. sure it had been destroyed but chris' brain was working overtime to put her innocence back together. there was no way he wanted to imagine her as anything other than his sweet, innocent best friend.
chris went back to his room and tried to fall back asleep but he struggled. once again, every time he closed his eyes, he would picture her. and each time, she was naked. but he tried to blur out the parts he didn't want to see.
it worked at first but the longer his eyes were closed, the more her body was revealed to him.
until he couldn't handle it anymore.
he sent a simple text to y/n
i want you
and waited.
y/n replied with a voice message. her voice came out as a whisper.
about time you finally admitted it. was getting tired of thinking of you every time i went solo. but if you really want me, then maybe i should come down to your room and have you prove it to me. how's that sound, christopher owen?
there was something about the way she said his name that made him feel like he was about to lose his mind. he sent a text back telling her to hurry up and it was as if she had read his mind because as soon as he sent it, y/n was walking into his room. he sat up quickly and turned on his light.
"jesus, you're perfect."
"tell me something i don't know, chris." y/n giggled and hopped onto his bed. she stared at him for what seemed like forever before she climbed into his lap. she couldn't contain the smirk as she asked him a question she already knew the answer to. "so, you really want me, huh?"
"yeah. of course i do. i'd be lying if i said i didn't."
"is it because you saw my onlyfans page? or something else?"
"i've wanted you for a really long time. think that's why i was so upset about you and matt earlier. and i apologize for reacting that way."
"no need to apologize. matt and i are just friends. always have been and always will be." she looked into his darkened blue eyes. "we only made the video because we were bored and wanted to get the 'virgin' shit done and over with. so trust me when i say that there are absolutely no feelings for matt." she placed her hand against his cheek and smiled. "it's always been you, christopher owen."
chris wasted no more time. he grabbed her hips and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. one that grew real intense, real fast. y/n tugged on his lip with her teeth, causing a low groan to fall from chris' mouth.
"that was hot." y/n smirked and started laughing when chris flipped them around. one hand remained on her waist while the other landed beside her head. "you finally going to show me how much you want me?
"in due time. just want to take a moment to capture this image in my mind where it'll stay forever."
"i like the sound of that." y/n smirked. "but we both know this is going to happen many, many many more times."
"and i like the sound of that." chris kissed y/n's lips first. and then her neck. followed by her shoulder and her collarbone. he kissed whatever part of her body he could see. to him, she tasted sweet.
and to her, his lips felt like heaven.
chris was about to shatter his perfect vision of his innocent best friend. but he didn't care and neither did she.
there was no place else either of them wanted to be than with each other in that moment.
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howtobeamagicalgirl · 4 months ago
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Becoming desperate to Go Back to a place that doesn't exist anymore in a time that is long, long gone. My cue to go to bed.
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javierduffy · 2 months ago
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freedom- not a boat, nor the west, but love.
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foreverxdaydreaming · 3 months ago
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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eschynite · 4 months ago
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Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff
#he's never rly said no he just used to be like 'well whaf if i want to nap' like in the early parenting days#which evolved into 'yeah i guess'-type responses#lately he's more like 'yeah!' like his tone is less. whatever it was before#same with any requests i make in general like if he'll put e down for bed and stuff#idk my weird episode epiphany thing i went through last week has me feeling much less patient and self-questioning#it's just a fact that constantly asking myself if i'm being considerate enough of others has done nothing for me#like it hasn't even improved my relationships.. i don't really have any lol#like i'm done biting my tongue bc idk if i've properly considered their perspective.. i end up blowing up at minor things as a result anyway#like it makes me a worse partner fr#i also really feel like i've been putting daggers thru my own spirit by doing this for so long#like i need to stop troubleshooting my existence like 'what if i conform this way' 'what if i conform that way'#here's what if: you will be profoundly unhappy and no one who you love will truly know you#this is such a tangent off what i started talking about but basically i'm done reflexively wondering#every time i feel wronged disrespected etc. if actually i'm the one in the wrong. it really is reflexive#the way m's mom responded to me setting a boundary was a wake up call like apparently she just read into what i was saying too much#so hypothetically it wasn't the boundary she was angry about but how she thought i set it#but like i don't have any time for you if my extremely sincere and straightforward communication isn't good enough for you#like i'm not going to be understanding of your inability to take me at face value we didn't both fuck up. You did#and that's how i'm going to act. like You fucked up. yk
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earl-grey-crow · 25 days ago
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#well I just submitted my essay for my history class so I'm finally done with finals#I wish I felt happier or relieved or something but I don't. I feel awful. my body hurts from the incredible amount of tension/anxiety I had#trying to finish it before 11:59. I submitted it at 11:55. I have never come that close before and I hate it#the amount of anxiety I had you'd think the deadline was hunting me for sport#and what's worse is I felt all this anxiety and put all this work into it and I'm not even happy about it#I spent two days trying to figure out what he wanted us to write about because apparently he just seems to be really bad at instructions#like I thought maybe it was just me overthinking but I spent two hours talking to my mom about it and in the end even she couldn't figure i#so then I had only two days to gather notes make an outline write an essay. while burnt out and barely able to focus.#and while not knowing exactly what I was doing like is this what he wants. is it not. who knows I literally don't have time left#to figure it out I just need to write something and hope it works#but I hate being unsure it makes everything harder#especially because I really wanted to make a good grade. this was the class where I made a 78 on my midterm#which brought my class grade to a B but I'd been able to get it back to an A and I'd be able to keep it if I got like an 80ish on the final#the essay turned out okay idk if it's what he wanted but whatever at least I got the other requirements like word count and sources#but the CITATIONS...we had to use chicago which I'd never used before and let me just say. mla is the love of my life after this.#actually chicago might not be that bad if I got used to it I think my violence should be directed toward every word processor#that links footnotes. it is so STUPID that there isn't an easier way to make them different#if it hadn't been for trying to figure out footnotes on google docs I could've submitted it like ten minutes earlier#and with phenomenally less stress#I eventually had to make a choice as to what I'd give up: (1) submitting it on time (2) perfect citations or (3) word doc#which is what he wanted it submitted as#except when I tried that thank goodness I looked at the preview before I submitted it because I saw that it'd messed up the citations#I ended up submitting it as a pdf. on time. with perfect (maybe) (I didn't have time to double check) citations. but not as a word doc.#is it the end of the world? idk probably not but not meeting a professor's requirements is like. anathema.#all of that is to say that I'm going to cry and then let it go and get to bed and just. idk. I've reached that point where#I'm so tired and numb that it feels like I'll never feel better#anyway#maybe I hurt because of my meds and the side effects decided to kick in now because the grace of God held them back long enough#for me to finish#earl crow ramblings
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valeechtine · 4 months ago
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The thing is "forced diversity" only became a real thing after people online got called out for only ever having like white ocs or just Never making women [ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMEN] and now sometimes I see a character lineup and its like Oh I can like actively see the diversity checklist you were crossing off in your head specifically to try and get tumblr woke points because you are being so fucking Weird about this. Like in an effort to be like LOOK LOOK AT HOW DIVERSE MY CAST IS I AM ADVERTISING THIS BY JUST TELLING YOU ABOUT HOW DIVERSE EVERYONE IS YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW GENRE OR THEMES they make it so clear that making characters of color or women or disabled characters etc has to be a Conscious Choice instead of just. Something that comes naturally because that reflects our real world.
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taldigi · 1 year ago
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were there any pre canon concepts for adrien's/felix's room? i hate the canon one so much the layout confuses me
Afraid not. I think the closest we have is the information that Felix/ Adrian's family owned a hotel (this is before he was made into the villain's son.) A lot of early and even current ladybug is pretty focused around Marinette. Nathan-Felix-Adrien as a character is shockingly inconsequential to the narrative as a whole. (Which is probably why he was so easily edited throughout development whereas Marinette stayed pretty consistent.... And is also apparently still the case from what I've heard of the recent season.)
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You can actually really see a lot of the inspiration that it transferred to the agreste mansion... But it also lost a lot of style and flair. Richard had a lot of art deco inspiration in the buildings associated with his character. And you can kind of see that in the hotel piece here. It's all connected, at least I believe it is.
It makes sense that the current one is frustrating. It's a mix between " oh this is what a fabulously wealthy teen boy would like" being full of video games and literal arcade machines, but still having like no personality? Like it's big. Because Adrian is rich. And it's like... Largely undecorated because Gabriel is like a minimalist or whatever... Except for all of the stuff that Adrian has because he's rich. And that's literally the end of it.
Edit: If I were to fathom a... A room that does line up with that hotel era then I would do something like this, except with more whites and golds rather than blue... Or just tailor it to however the cat's relationship to his father is.
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clhampir · 8 months ago
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one of my least favorite themes about the internet lately is non-american people complaining that americans are talking about american-centric issues on the internet and being like "nOt EvErYtHiNg ReVoLvEs ArOuNd YoU iDiOtS" and it's like. yeah buddy. that's why we didn't apply it to anywhere else in the world. we're talking about the specific issues we are facing as americans living in the states. the reading comprehension is atrocious
#like idk how to tell you that not every american you interact with is gonna be living a rich life in a mega mansion free from strife#the vast majority of us are living under a religious rule disguised as democracy with our own police force killing us in droves every day#your biased view of the states as this place with no pain and suffering is harmful and people are dying in our streets#and its always from these people who think they're communists who care about the collective good and i just. man. i don't understand#i don't understand the disconnect. we're a part of this conversation too the real issues we face are getting real people killed#especially when its coming from leftist non-americans to leftists americans. its like#you KNOW i don't support my country why are you berating me for talking about the real problems we're facing?#individual leftist americans don't make the policies that are killing other countries and i think those conversations are allowed to be two#separate entities without people screaming at us for talking about the atrocities we're facing just bc our government that we have lost#control of is doing things we do not consent or agree to#like fuck dude. americans are still PEOPLE#we are still SUFFERING#and to be clear this isn't to take away from suffering from anyone else this is specifically about when someone from the states complains#about something happening IN THE STATES and non-americans butt in to make a comment about it not being all about us like#baby WHAT#anyways whatever i'm tired i'm going to bed
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slime-crafters · 2 years ago
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It's honestly funny to see people say that Link and Zelda cohabitated in Link's Hateno Village house since there's two of everything but there's only one pillow. What kind of couple shares not only a twin-sized mattress but also a small pillow.
Therefore, I think Link sleeps on the floor to guard Zelda like a dog while she sleeps in the bed. Like... Link's the kinda guy who'd say, "why do I need to take a bath??? I swim in rivers and lakes, doesn't that count????"
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miallurk · 1 year ago
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In these days i realized i like art and writing and creating and shopping and taking walks and talking to people and cleaning and helping and studying and doing things but i'm just. too stressed, tired and burned out to do them. How great!
#i am losing my sanity day by day#drowning myself in the nearby lake seems better and better every day#why am i even writing this i have literally no mutuals or even people who'd care about#don't mind me crying myself to sleep haha#ooooh look at this pathetic baby. sitting in their little bed crying stupid tears. i should at least get tissues now while my crying isn't#fuck history fuck school and fuck me i quess#am i gonna start treating this as an actual blog and make a sideblog for reblogs? who knows! certainly not me; stay tuned for the story!#i'm gonna go and just let it all out into a pillow#vent ig#my mom is blasting holiday music in the other room lol#nice to have a whatever the fuck im having while “jingle bells” plays#at least i'm not hearing mariah carey ig#anyway i've probably hadn't been taking care of myself lately it has been worse despite me promoting it to everyone who needs#when i vented last time and it wasn't taken seriously so woop#anyway imma go try to calm myself and back to my notes i go#please gods what did i do to deserve thi s shit. fuck you#i hate it here i really do. i hate when these people talk to me i hate them. i at least can be sorta accquaitances with one but they just.#all stare and laugh? i actually can't. like i'm some fucking clown and laughing stock. just kill me at this point. i have been enduring this#for YEARS and suddenly i'm being a little bitch about it?? what the fuck. why am i so mushy all of a sudden. being shown an ounce of respect#and care made me expect it more? fuck#i'm just setting myself up for failure. i am just a giant loser and failure of a person.#everything seems so fucking hard. and pointless. i am tearing my rotten little heart apart with this. i am once again grieving things#long ago and things i never had. my everything has to be pleasing to an outsider#my value is my suffering. am i breaking enough? is this beautiful to look at#at my self destruction? i hate myself. i treat others so cruelly. i am a horrible fucking person.#my problems are not their burden - i forced it on them. wept like a baby because she left me. and what happened in the end? my paranoia got#to me. i left them. i fucking. i fid the thing i was afraid of being done to me.#this is showing so many issues.#so many things wrong with me. i shouldn't even be alive by this point - i wasn't supposed to survive past 12#i am being forced to do this every day. someone please just end my fu king suffering
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