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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 1 day ago

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@zepskies

I’m not going to lie I can’t really remember that far back either lmao… BUT I’M SO EXCITED YOU DID TAG ME BECAUSE THIS WAS MARVELOUS 😍

Accurate depiction of me the whole time I read this:

Apparently, he couldn’t be bothered to put those meaty man muscles to good use, aside from shoveling three helpings into his mouth.

I love this line so much. And I LOVE how passive aggressive the reader is. It's so believable and I would 10000000% be so mad if I slaved away cooking a nice meal and then he didn't help me clean up. She's really saying what we're all thinking.

But... it is SOOOO Ben lol.

Ben’s voice washed over you, deep and still a little rough with sleep as he stepped into the kitchen. His old man loafers slid against the floor with every step when he approached you from behind, and his heavy hands found a familiar resting place on the curve of your waist.

"His old man loafers..." LMAO 🤣

“Hey,” he said, “since you’re already up and about in here, how about some breakf—”

“Okay, okay. It’s a little early for all this Latina temper, don’tcha think?” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your gaze snapped up at him with a glare.

OHHH NOOO NOT THE DEMEANING/PLACATING FOREHEAD KISS! HE GONNA LEARN TODAY👏🏻!

“I love you,” you repeated, “but I don’t need a man-child.” "Excuse me?" he did snap this time, his hold loosening from around your waist. "The fuck did you just say?" You narrowed your eyes right back at him. "You heard me," you said. "I want a man. A man who's going to be my rock when I need him. Can you do that for me, like I do for you? Are you gonna be my man, or do I need to claim you as a dependent on my taxes?"

The other day I heard someone at work say that when she first started dating her boyfriend she told him outright that she didn't need him, but she wanted him and that he should know the difference. That she didn't need him in her life because she was okay the way she was and that she was a strong independent woman, but she wanted him there and he would stay as long as she wanted him there. Sorry, that's a tangent, but that is what this bit reminded me of. I love how you wrote it in, it is really good and honest, and I'm glad that the reader can come outright and say it.

Plus I was cackling at the "dependent on my taxes" thing. And then it made me think if Ben has ever done his own taxes and what it would look like lol.

Ben did you the favor of brushing the thick curls away from your eyes, tugging several strands behind your ears, even though most of them didn’t obey him. He framed your face with his big hands, and his thumbs swept along your skin, the rich complexion shining in the morning light filtering through the kitchen window. There was more care in his touch now, his strength tempered just for you. Fond amusement colored his features. For as much shit as you gave him, you still gave him more of yourself; more of your trust, your patience...and all the rest of it. You gave him more than anyone that had come before you, and deep inside, he doubted anyone that might come after you.

Oh goodness, I'm a sucker for the little softer moments with Ben. We see so few of them on the show and I think that it makes some people believe that Ben can't be gentle in his own way. But I really do believe that Ben isn't just some macho asshole who can't have emotions or feelings and who can't be gentle with the woman he loves. He has those feelings and he's not just some jerk. He can do those things, it might look a little different and it might take him a little longer to get there, but this is just so good. Especially when he untangles the shirt from her hair!

And oh my word the bit about the reader giving more to him than anyone ever has, is making me cry. NOT to mention when he says the "he doubted anyone that might come after you." Is just heart-wrenching! Because I know that we've talked in the past about giving Ben a partner that can live longer, but goodness it's still just so heartbreaking to think that Ben is going to live on longer than the reader and have to live with her memory forever.

And the spice was:

BUT. I really liked this bit:

“Didn’t think you wanted to be fucked on some cold tile,” he said, even if the sentiment behind his words warmed you. You were pretty sure he didn’t used to care about that. At least, before he met you.

Because the way the reader realizes how much he cares about her comfort, and the suggestion that he hadn't cared about that in the past is just BEAUTIFUL. I think that it has to be true for Ben! Because yeah he's gotten around... and around... like a merry go round on steroids LMAO, but I think that if he's with someone he really cares about and loves, Ben would care how comfortable his partner is. I believe that he would be checking in. I mean the guy probably hates the words "make love" but he does it in his own way.

Oh this fic was good as always my wonderful friend! I'm so happy you tagged me 🥰! And I can't wait to read more of this couple in your series "Unravel Me!" 💗

Lost in Translation

Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Female POC!Reader

Summary: Living with this man isn’t easy, and you’ve absolutely had it with him. Supe or not, you’re one step shy of kicking him out. Will he try to make it up to you?

AN: So after getting requests for a Soldier Boy x POC!Reader, I’ve had a short series in development called Unravel Me. I’m a bit stalled on the outline right now, so I thought this could be a fun way to introduce their relationship and see if you guys think I should continue with the prequel, kind of like how I did with Checkerboard and the Break Me Down-verse.

This story would take place after Unravel Me, after a fair bit of character development lol. It also fulfills a bingo square for @jacklesversebingo!

Prompt: “Whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is No!”

Song Inspo: “Damage” by H.E.R.

Word Count: 3.4K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, bit of dirty talk, fingering, edging, some angst, fluff and feels. The reader is a mixed race POC (Afro Latina), with textured hair.

The apartment was quiet, but not peaceful.

You were in the kitchen washing the Mt. Everest of dishes piled in the sink, partly because someone hadn’t rinsed off his own plate of carne guisada.

Ben had asked for beef for dinner yesterday, and you’d graciously delivered with your grandmother’s recipe for the stew. It was filled with chunks of tender, fall-off-your-fork beef, garlic, onions, carrots, and more—all marinated to perfection, if you said so yourself. You even added in some little yellow potatoes, both for taste and texture.

Apparently, he couldn’t be bothered to put those meaty man muscles to good use, aside from shoveling three helpings into his mouth.

A bottomless pit and a freakin’ man-child, I swear to God, you inwardly groused as you scrubbed the ceramic a bit too hard with the rough side of the sponge. No matter how many times you asked, nicely, it seemed your boyfriend couldn’t manage to pull his weight around here.

Okay, you knew his job could be demanding, but so was yours.

What the hell is this, Maid in Manhattan? Newsflash: I’ve got shit to do too!

“And I cooked!” you muttered in indignation. That reminder propelled you to scrub a bit harder. The least he could do was clean the kitchen. Or take out the trash. Or toss the laundry into the washing machine once in a while. Like you really wanted to handle his dirty boxers all the damn time.

Did he have no shame? Couldn’t he do anything for you without you having to ask him three million times?

Es que él es bruto, mija, as your Dominican grandma would say about your grandpa, often while swiping a tired hand over her long braids. Es como un animal con ropa.

Just then, you heard his heavy steps creaking on the wood floors in your bedroom. Today was his day off, so he was probably taking his sweet time rolling his ass out of bed.

Meanwhile, you were hustling to get the place at least decently clean before you got yourself together for work. The thought made you simmer as you continued to place dishes on the counter rack. Each one clacking to rest was satisfying, but it also ticked up your internal dial to a fine boil.

You heard him bang the bathroom door open and cringed internally, your teeth grinding. You’d reminded him three times already about the neighbors and the noise.

Sabes que, supe or not, I’m about to—

“Morning, sweetheart.”

He swiped your slightly wild curls to the side and pressed a tantalizing kiss into your neck. His voice, his touch, the brief scrape of his beard; it all caused a small shiver of delight up your spine.

“Hmm, you smell good. Good enough to eat.” And he teased you with the graze of his teeth, biting gently enough where your neck met your shoulder. You flinched with half a huff, trying not to smile.

Just like that, it took the edge off your irritation…a little. You opened your mouth to reply, but before you could…

“Hey,” he said, “since you’re already up and about in here, how about some breakf—”

Your spine tightened once again.

“Whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is No!” you snapped. You moved out of his arms to grab a hand towel to dry your hands with. They were all pruny from washing dishes.

“I’m already running late. Why? Because this place is a fucking mess, and the only one who seems to care is me!” you exclaimed. First, you gestured to the dishes now drying on the rack. “Hmm?”

You then opened up the lid to the full-to-bursting trashcan. “What do you call that, huh? You said you’d take this out last night. After I asked you twice. What, was I not speaking English? Did something get lost in translation, or are you already losing your hearing? Just let me know, ‘cause I can sure as hell crank up the volume for you!”

Ben raised a brow. You read his thoughts in his surly frown. You have some fucking audacity, talking to him like that, but it’s still early. He hasn’t even had his coffee, for Christ’s sake.

If he was more awake, no doubt he’d be barking back at you. Instead, he heaved a sigh, drew closer to you and shut the trashcan lid. At least there was one lid he knew how to close.

“All right, it’s just a little mess. No need to get fucking hysterical,” he said, trying to grasp your arm to placate you. You shrugged out of his hold and crossed your arms in anger.

“Ben, it’s not just a little mess. And what is this, 1945? I’m not hysterical!”

His lips twitched at a smirk, making you even angrier. But he’d caught enough smoke from you in the past to know he didn’t want it at 8:00 in the morning. He grasped your arms and rubbed them up and down, trying to sooth you.

“Okay, okay. It’s a little early for all this Latina temper, don’tcha think?” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Your gaze snapped up at him with a glare.

Oooh, this man. He knew how to get you mad fucking tight.

Not in a good way.

Instead of exploding like Mount Fuji, you kept it all under your skin. You turned away from him and aimed to continue getting ready for work, but first, you took out a Greek yogurt from the fridge and wholly ignored him taking up space in the kitchen. You wouldn’t answer him when he called your name. In fact, you were going to give him the most frigid of cold shoulders—so cold he’d get hyperthermia through that invulnerable skin.

He waylaid your plans when he grabbed your hand, swinging you back into his arms. You gasped at the suddenness of it, looking up into his cocky, charming smile. You couldn’t stare too long at his green eyes, or the rest of his handsome, bearded face. Not when he knew exactly how to use it against you.

“Don’t think that’s gonna get you out of this,” you warned him. You set your yogurt on the kitchen counter and pushed at his chest, but it was no more effective than pushing at a mountain and expecting it to move.

His hands spanned your waist, his fingers beginning to press into your soft sides. He bowed his head, brushing his lips against your neck and the shell of your ear when he said, “Out of what, baby doll? Looks to me like we can still have a good morning.”

His voice once against trilled heat and tingles through your body, but you managed to lean back, holding the pads of your fingers to his lips.

“Hey, I’m not playing around here. If we’re gonna do this,” you pointed between him and yourself, “then let me make one thing really clear. I’m not la sirvienta around here, okay? I’m not your fucking maid. I’m your girl. Your partner. And since you live here now, I’m gonna need you to do your part.”

Ben almost rolled his eyes, but you grasped his chin. He frowned at you with furrowed brows. There was a time where he would've been inclined to grab your wrist and try to intimidate you with his temper. You saw it lying in wait behind his pursed lips and irritated stare, but you weren't afraid of him. Not anymore.

“Listen to me. I get that you haven’t lived like us commoners for most of your life, but this stuff is important,” you said. You took a deep breath, and you counted to three. You met him with a calmer gaze. “Ben, I love you.”

You let go of his chin and lowered your hand, letting it splay over his chest. He softened, ever so slightly, even though his frown remained.

“I love you,” you repeated, “but I don’t need a man-child.”

"Excuse me?" he did snap this time, his hold loosening from around your waist. "The fuck did you just say?"

You narrowed your eyes right back at him.

"You heard me," you said. "I want a man. A man who's going to be my rock when I need him. Can you do that for me, like I do for you? Are you gonna be my man, or do I need to claim you as a dependent on my taxes?"

His expression sharpened again at your thinly veiled accusation…but the longer he looked into your eyes, no longer angry, but earnest and imploring, the more he actually listened to what you were saying. His jaw worked for a moment in annoyance. You subtly softened him with your hands soothing up and down his arms, a slow back and forth over solid, warm muscle.

Eventually, he was able to curb his instinct to bark a callous reply. He nodded, expelling a breath through his nose.

“Fine,” he said.

Your brows rose. “Fine?”

“Yeah,” he said flatly.

You knew it was the closest you were going to get to an agreement, as well as an apology. You were still working on that last one, but dating this man was a work in progress, for both of you. With a sigh, you patted his arms that were slowly wrapping back around you.

“Okay, I’m really running late now,” you said.

“You should probably get a move on then,” Ben said.

Still, he didn’t release you. He stared down at you with an amused smile while you struggled against his hold. You uttered a laugh.

“Babe, I need to get to work.” You leaned over and spied the oven clock. “Oh, shit! it’s almost 8:30! If I’m not there by 9:00—”

“You sure you want to go now? Tense, body all tight,” he said, his voice deep with sensuous suggestion.

His lips neared yours, but he didn’t kiss you. Not yet. His lips veered away to brush against your cheek. He inhaled deeply as he moved, taking in the floral scent of your soap, mixed with the army of products you styled your hair with, and the faint imprint of your perfume from the night before. He skimmed down your neck and along the shell of your ear.

“Wouldn’t you rather I fuck all that tension right out of you?” he offered. “Leave you nice and warm and satisfied, have that pretty pussy coming hard on my cock.”

You let out a shaky breath, closing your eyes as his filthy mouth and the timbre of his voice struck a chord through your body, tinging warm arousal between your legs. Your fingers tightened on his strong arms, digging into the fabric of his loose robe. Ben took that as a wordless confirmation. He bent at the knees and grabbed you up by your plush thighs. You wrapped your arms around his neck on instinct, with a small gasp.

But you recovered quickly. Taking his face into your hands, you met his lips roughly with yours in a devouring kiss. He set you down on the kitchen counter hard enough to make the clean dishes rattle. His hands were just as claiming as his mouth, squeezing your hips and thighs as he spread them open to make more room for himself.

While your tongue dueled with his, you shoved the robe off his shoulders, followed by his sleep shirt pooling to the floor. His hand slid under your top as well, and almost ripped it at the hem in his haste to get it up and over your head.

“Ow, ah-ow!” You giggled when the collar got caught on your hair. Ben’s breathy chuckle reached your ears. He was gentler in how he helped get the shirt off the rest of the way. Your mane of hair fell into your face, and you huffed.

There was more care in his touch now, his strength tempered just for you. Fond amusement colored his features. For as much shit as you gave him, you still gave him more of yourself; more of your trust, your patience...and all the rest of it. You gave him more than anyone that had come before you, and deep inside, he doubted anyone that might come after you.

You smiled up at him, a little wryly. You leaned up and met him for a gentler kiss. Your eyes fell closed at the feeling of him, and the spicy hint of his aftershave. It was a scent that often clung to his pillows. When he was gone on a mission for days on end, you wouldn’t admit to clinging to one of them to help you sleep, and make you feel safe.

“Mmm, you smell good,” you whispered. And it was true. He smelled like mint and spicy aftershave. You plied his lips with deeper kisses, licking into his mouth with a sensuous tongue, before you stole his words. “Good enough to eat.”

He uttered a groan deep in his throat. It satisfied you, enhancing the warm flood between your legs.

Fuck it. You were calling in sick today.

You drew him back into the pull of you, winding your arms around his neck and your fingers in his hair. It was getting long again, but you liked it. You liked something to hold onto, just as much as he did. Your nails brushed against his scalp, down the back of his neck, earning a hum of pleasure from him. You wound your legs tightly around his hips and invited the press of his hard cock against your throbbing core, even through your panties and pajama pants. A faltering groan caught in his chest.

“Needier that I thought this morning,” he remarked. His warm hands drifted down to cup your breasts, his thumbs brushing over dark, pebbled nipples. You sighed into his mouth in response.

You heard the cocky grin in his voice, but for once, you didn’t care. You did need him. You wanted him to fuck the stress and chaos out of you.

…Well, he’d caused most of it, but still. He was gonna damn well fix it.

And he aimed to do just that, with his hands sliding farther down your body with purpose, grabbing the waistband of your pajama pants and roughly sliding them down, along with your panties. Your bare ass felt cold against the tile counter, but you didn’t have too much time to think about it with Ben’s thick fingers probing between the wet, glistening folds of your pussy. He soon found what he was searching for, circling firmly over your clit.

Your hips raised off the counter as you whimpered against his lips and ground yourself against his hand. You broke from his kiss to bury your face in his neck. Ben’s free hand grasped your hip and pulled you right to the edge of the counter.

There he held you down, his brows furrowing in concentration. His fingers sought your entrance and slipped inside you with ease. By now, he knew what angles would have you squirming, writhing, your body arching into him, while your inner walls clenched around his hand.

“Fuck. That’s right, baby doll. I’ve gotcha,” he said roughly, continuing to fuck your pussy with his fingers. His thumb rubbed against your clit between strokes.

The coil in your lower belly began to tighten, the delicious throbbing deep inside beginning to make your thighs shake. But just as you felt yourself tipping over the edge, Ben withdrew his fingers from your sopping channel.

You struggled to catch your breath in shock. Your head raised from Ben’s shoulder to glare at him. When your mouth opened to deliver an indignant protest, he silenced you with his mouth claiming yours. Your nails bit into his shoulder in retaliation, even though you knew it wouldn’t hurt him in the slightest. In fact, it only curved his lips into a smirk against yours.

You slapped him on the shoulder, immensely frustrated, but also laughing. “You’re such an assh—”

Before you could even finish cursing him, he gathered you up again and lifted you off the counter. He walked you over to the couch in the living room. He would’ve loved nothing better than to lay you out across the two-seater table in the kitchen, but he thought the shitty old wood might just give out under the strain of him fucking you. So the living room was a close second, and in this tiny-ass apartment, it was barely a few feet more to walk.

He laid you out underneath him on couch, and it groaned and squeaked under both of your weight. You squeaked too, if for a different reason. It had Ben smirking down at you. He freed himself from the confines of his pajama pants and coated his rock-hard arousal with the leftover wetness coating his hand.

“I approve of the scene change,” you said breathlessly, once again stroking his arms. Your fingers slipped over every dip and plain of muscle.

He grabbed your hips, lined himself up to your entrance, and his cock breached you smoothly, pushing into you until his hips fit snugly against yours.

“Oh, fuck,” you choked out, your thighs squeezing around his frame.

“Feel good, sweetheart? All fuckin' filled up,” Ben teased, a bit breathless himself. You were a tight fucking fit. He slid out of you experimentally, drawing a moan from your lips. You nodded.

“Yeah, baby. So good,” you freely admitted, panting all the while.

Ben’s hot gaze drew over you as he continued moving hard and fast inside you. He took in your every bare curve, the way hot breaths and sexy moans fell from your lips with every thrust, the way your hair fanned out underneath you and hung off the side of the sofa cushion, the way your hands still explored him and touched him, demanding, but still loving.

For that, it was all the more tantalizing against his skin, warming even the darkest places he tried not to show you.

And every drag of his cock inside you stretched your inner walls in the most delicious of ways. It wasn’t just that he was able to fill you to the fucking brim. He also just knew his way around a woman’s body. He knew you, and he knew exactly how to make you come undone. Even quick and dirty on your couch, he made you feel brand new.

He was right, damn him.

The coil deep inside you snapped. Pleasure crested through you and made your inner walls squeeze him tight, fluttering and pulsing with warmth. You came hard on his cock, hard enough to milk his release shortly after for all he was worth.

His forearms fell to the cushion on either side of your head. You were basically being smothered, but for the moment you didn’t mind. You just held his sweat-slick body against yours while you both caught your breath, each of your heartbeats falling back into a steady rhythm.

He was always so damn warm. It was nice, considering how cold it was this winter, but the thought always made you a bit sad. It reminded you of the power housed in his chest, and every memory he caged there as well.

You laid a gentle kiss on his shoulder. In return, his lips found the side of your head and hesitated there.

“You’re not going to work,” he said. It was more an observation than anything else.

You laughed breathlessly and shook your head. “Nope.”

He nodded. “Let’s go out for breakfast.”

You could get behind that. Your kitchen was finally clean, which meant your kitchen was closed until further notice.

“Shower first,” you stipulated.

You felt Ben’s smile grow against your dewy skin. “All right.”

You sighed, and he guided you to your feet along with him. You had a feeling “breakfast” was going to be lunch by the time you and Ben finally escaped this apartment.

AN: Lol hope you had fun with this one! Let me know if you'd like to see more of these two! 💚💚

Spanish Translations:

Es que él es bruto, mija. Es como un animal con ropa.

It’s that he’s stupid, my daughter. He's like an animal with clothes.

However, “bruto” can also mean brutish, crude, and/or like a beast, so it fits in more than one way. 😂

Sabes que, …

You know what, …

La sirvienta

The servant (or maid) (female)

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#soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #jensen ackles soldier boy #jensen ackles #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy/ben #soldier boy fanfiction #soldier boy fic #guysireadsomething

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kalmiaphlox · 1 day ago

Text

Damn, this is what it feels like to be you?

COMPLETED!

AO3 Link / Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2

Love Me Like You Do

Astarion takes his wrist back, rubbing at the tender skin, disappointed. "I thought it would feel better than that…" She blinks multiple times, trying to clear her mind of this euphoric rush that is burning through her now from head to toe. "That was much better than I expected."

Pairing: Astarion x Named Female Tav (Hircine)

WC: 8.2k

Main Tags: Body Swap, Humor, Fluff, Smut, Body Worship, Fashion Show, Unprepared deep throating, PiV Sex, Mild Hair Pulling, is this considered self-cest???, slight breeding kink, a lil aftercare

Stuck as a man and watching her body writhe around in ways that Astarion considers pleasing to the eye is not high on her list of enjoyment. This is not the worst day of her life, but by the gods is it one of the most uncomfortable.

Seeing it for herself now, Hircine thinks she looks more like a worm undulating a path around the room than some sensuous woman enticing her husband into bed.

Yet Astarion finds it exceptionally attractive, made apparent by the way his eyes linger across her form when she stretches out in bed with her best come-hither stare, lips wet and parted, eager to take his cock. He really likes it when Hircine wears something low cut or open at the chest, and if she squeezes her tits together, then it's ‘delightful’, as Astarion would purr.

All she sees now is someone desperate for attention.

These images will have to be scrubbed from her mind if she's going to perform like that ever again in the future. The cringe-inducing revulsion she feels for her own body is too much.

Hircine would love more than anything to be easily turned on by this. They could have that savage fuck he's looking for so bad and then the focus could shift to something else, something that doesn't require Hircine to look at herself more than she wants.

She's not unpleasant on the eyes with her pink-hued gray skin and the much too long hair that shines between silver, slate and black depending on the lighting. Her eyes are brighter than she's known them to be, the shining gold ring a touch eerie and too reflective.

No, beauty is not the issue.

I just don't like women.

What if they're stuck like this? Will she have to get used to it?

I don't want to fuck men like this. I don't want to fuck or make love or have sex or whatever with anyone but Astarion.

But she can't do that when he looks like her.

All she wants is to please Astarion. When he's happy, so is she, and maybe vice versa, but trying to get turned on by herself has been damn near impossible. She looks at that face every damned day! It's not sexy!

She barely touches herself to begin with, the only time really indulging in such an act is when Astarion requests it of her in that way he does. There's no shame behind it, Hircine just doesn't care for it.

She is trying! No one can say she isn't! Having a penis attached to her instead of inside her is a terrible fate. She can't even look at it. When Astarion slipped into the bathroom for the business-that-shall-not-be-uttered, Hircine got a feel of herself in his body. It just doesn't feel right to touch anything, and then it's Astarion and all she can think about is him not being treated exactly the way he deserves and she would hate to do something wrong.

With Astarion in her sight, the experience is a little better, but then he is her and Hircine does not want to look at herself look at herself! It's weird and so discomforting.

Then there's the distinct silence of his mind… She never knew how loud hers was, and maybe she misses Herma-Mora’s buzzing a bit.

The hunger, now that, Hircine could do without. It's not a noise in the way Herma-Mora is, but a feeling, and it's everywhere. A fierce ache that never goes away, gnawing and brutal. Instead of the hunger being localized in his stomach the way a living being's is, it's this unpleasant itch beneath the skin, an inhuman, hungering maw screaming for more and more and more. Why do her teeth hurt so much?!

Astarion said that it's never ending, and no matter how much he drinks, the burn will go on.

What a terrible existence that must be.

And it could be Hircine's forever if—

“My love~” When her head turns towards the sing-song tone, his finger sinks into her cheek. Astarion giggles like she fell into some kind of trap. “May I make another request?”

Oh, gods. “What now, Husband?” She asks, hesitant.

His cat-like grin is an odd sight on Hircine’s actual face. “Can I try on your clothes? Pretty please?”

Could be worse. “My wardrobe is at your disposal. Let me know if you need help, some of those straps are so… strappy.”

“Not to be rude, my perfect—”.

“You're always rude.” She says.

He gasps as if she told him his lipstick doesn't match the outfit he's wearing. “That, my sweet, is rude.”

“It’s true.”

“Rude!”

“Rude,” she echoes, dryly.

They stare at each other for a while before Astarion huffs, flicking a long strand of hair over his shoulder, his tone snippy and demanding. “Would you be a good wife and fetch the standing mirror from the storage room? My arms are much too weak now.”

“Yes, milord, whatever you want!” She mocks as she gets up, feeling a pillow thump against her back as she disappears into the hallway and enters the storage room. The mirror is front and center since they bring it back and forth often, maybe they should just keep it in the bedroom, but Hircine likes the room mirror-less.

She pauses in front of it, finding nothing in its reflection. Alarm wiggles into her brain and Hircine pats down her body to know that she is still there. Of course it is.

This is Astarion's reality.

Back in the bedroom, Astarion is already digging through her closet, making a horrendous mess of everything. Clothes dropped in piles on the floor, skirts scattered about, along with trails of ribbons that she's not quite sure were in her closet to begin with.

Hircine would wager quite a sum of gold that Astarion is making a mess like that just for Lexi to clean up.

Truly, he is the rude one.

Settling the mirror behind the privacy screen, Hircine peers into the closet. “Do you need any help?”

“No! Go sit down while I prepare!”

She won't argue. Back on the couch, Hircine reclines back with legs crossed, listening to the rustle of fabrics and grunts of whatever is causing Astarion exertion, probably some dress that needs to be tied in a complicated manner. If he and Lexi aren't around, she avoids those. No need to spend half the evening trying to put on one stupid piece of clothing.

“Can I take one of your fans?” Astarion asks from the closet.

“Only the ones in the top drawer.” She says, checking her nails the way she's seen Astarion do so many times. His cuticles are kept clean and the nails are filed neatly just as she expects.

He mutters under his breath, a quiet whisper that, in normal circumstances, would not be heard. “Tch, stingy.”

“Hey, I heard that!” The hearing in this body is something else, and well, all the senses are so amplified. She can hear Astarion’s heartbeat and smell the perfumes tucked in their bottles, all from her place on the couch. Even her vision is exceptionally sharpened. It really is cheating to be so attuned to everything; there's no chance to hide.

He clears his throat loudly, getting her attention. “Are you ready, my love?”

“Dazzle me with my wardrobe, please.” She deadpans.

“Don't mind if I do~” Astarion sings, one slim leg appearing from behind the privacy screen, the hints of a blue dress Hircine doesn't recognize follow the movement. Stepping out into full view, waving a spread open fan to cast a breeze over himself, Astarion poses languidly against the screen's frame, slightly reclined with chest jutting out, head tilted back. Is that... supposed to be alluring? The dress he chose is of royal blue silk, tight-fitting as all Hircine’s clothes are, with a deep neckline that plunges all the way to his navel, focus drawn to the breasts which are partially covered and threatening to fall out should he lean over too far. “Blue suits you, pet, and so does this dress. Why have you been hiding it from me?”

She drags a finger down her flat chest. “It's not the most work-appropriate.”

Astarion scoffs, “Work wear be damned. Everyone should have the privilege of seeing Belbol and Iiyola in all their glory.”

“You want other people looking at my tits?”

The fan is snapped shut, tapping against his chin as Astarion ponders that, the face that was once hers, screwing up with disgust. “No, I guess not, but they should be displayed more.”

“So, I should walk around naked for you.” She adjusts while re-crossing her legs, holding onto a knee with a quirked brow.

“Then where's the fun in that? I enjoy ripping your clothes off… Also, this is nice!” He reaches up, swiftly pulling the sides of the fabric away so his breasts pop out with a bounce, and then Astarion rocks back on his heels, making them sway. “Are you taking notes? I can get you some parchment. Gods, I could look at them all day!”

“You already do.”

“Actually, no, I don't think so. They're starving for my affection.”

Earlier on the elevator ride down to the mines, Astarion was grabbing and groping at her chest—not that Hircine minds at all. He holds them for ‘support’, for whose benefit, well everyone knows it’s not hers. Most nights in bed, Astarion's head rests on her chest, partially to listen to her heartbeat and then partially for the… pillows. Then there is reading time, a book in one hand and a tit in the other because ‘What if this book is scary, Hircine?’

He's silly.

“Is this the only show I'm getting, or are you going to try on more?” Hircine asks, having had enough of watching her own breasts shake while Astarion coos in awe.

“Fine. Onto the next.” The dress is already being shucked off as he turns around, disappearing behind the screen once again. Pants—ew, blouses—ew, and a variety of dresses and nightdresses are tried on and flounced around in before Astarion gets to something that he laughs uproariously about.

She'd much rather hear his actual laugh.

“What’s so funny, Husband?” The laughter is extremely suspicious, and Hircine is ready to burst into the closet before Astarion shushes her.

“Oh, just wait. This is amazing. You've really been holding out on me, you little deviant.”

Now she's concerned. There's a whole assortment of unwanted fabric in Hircine's closet that's been stuffed into the bottom of a drawer since Lexi will just purchase things randomly that fit Hircine’s ‘tastes’, and occasionally they are things that Hircine would never wear a day in her life because Lexi does as she pleases.

She shudders, thinking of shoes. An awful invention. No one should suffer their tyranny.

“Love, can I take your lipstick off?”

Ah, so now Hircine really has to see herself in all her glory. “Yes, go ahead.”

He giggles maniacally from behind the screen and Hircine is now fidgeting in her spot on the couch, worried about whatever he has found.

“Like I said, I hope you’re taking notes!” And Astarion appears, draped in a luxuriously oversized, velvet robe in a deep earthy shade of green with dyed owlbear down cuffs and hem. The sash is tied tight around his thin waist, but Hircine knows something is hidden underneath. “Pet, I can’t believe you don’t wear this all the time!” His white lips are split into what must be a seductive smile.

She shrugs, “Eh, I forgot about it.”

He shakes his head in disappointment, “If you won’t wear it, then I might take it for myself then.”

“Be my guest, Husband.”

Gliding across the floor so smoothly he may as well be floating, Astarion circles around Hircine to the back of the couch, placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning down to place a sweet kiss on her cheek. “There’s more…”

She knew it.

Back in front of Hircine, Astarion drags the table out of the way, giving himself a wide area for whatever show he is about to put on. “This, my perfect girl, is what I expect you to commit to memory. Know that I like it, and know that I want it. Understand?”

She nods, reluctant to see whatever he is about to show off. Hircine is racking her brain for what this mystery outfit could be. Knowing that it’s something scandalous, she can only assume it was tossed to the very back of her closet the moment she saw it, never to be unearthed—until Astarion, that is.

Slowly—torturously, in Hircine’s eyes—Astarion unties the sash, the most smug grin twisting his lips in a way that only Astarion is capable of. He’s careful to keep the robe closed as the sash is fully undone now, the smirk deepening still, the bastard. His fingers tease at the neckline, spreading it ever so slightly that Hircine can tell that whatever else he’s wearing plunges deep, showing off his ample cleavage. “Are you ready?” He asks in a husky voice that drips with an unbearable need.

Just by scent, Hircine can tell how turned on he’s getting from this raunchy display, and since it’s her body, she knows exactly how wet her cunt is. She sighs, waving her hand over his form. “Get it over with, please.”

His teeth dig into his lower lip as the robe is pulled away revealing…

Can it even be called ‘clothing’ with how little it covers?

Hircine is unsure of what this exact piece of clothing is called, outside of it being some type of lingerie. A black strip of fabric goes over the shoulders and comes together mid chest to slip right between the breasts—which are both out in the open, nothing hiding them, before splitting off into three thin pieces that go under the bust and down the stomach. There’s a very small, very sheer lacey triangle of fabric that covers just above the belly button and over the crotch… mostly. It’s clear almost immediately to Hircine that they are crotchless. There are more straps and strips and strings over the hips and legs.

Nothing is left to the imagination, that's for sure.

The strappiness of it all is the biggest offender. That’s why Hircine has never worn it. She hates straps, all they do is end up in tangles and her in teary irritation, ready to rip them to shreds.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Astarion asks, all heavy-lidded and filled with lust as his hands roam over his body, feathering light touches that has him trembling. “I know why you wouldn’t like this, but wear it for me just once. That’s all I ask.”

“You’re wearing it just fine for me. Is that not enough?”

He twists around, giving Hircine a view of ass and back, then bends forward.

She blinks, unphased. Yes, that is a cunt.

It's nowhere near as enticing as when he does his seductive poses in his body. “No, because this is me, and not you. I want to see how you move in it.”

“Do you think it would fit on this body?” Hircine gestures over herself in jest.

Astarion pauses, head cocking as he thinks about it, maybe a little too seriously. “Would that be something you’d like?”

She doesn’t even have to think about it. “No. What about you?”

“I bet I’d look ravishing, pet, but I don’t think it’s really my style. I prefer being naked, draped perfectly with a blanket over my cock so you’re left wanting, or fully clothed to the nines! No in between, really.” Moving closer, Astarion points down to Hircine’s crossed legs. “May I sit?”

“Ye—” Before her words have fully left her mouth, Astarion straddles her lap, wrapping his arms around her neck tight and pushing his breasts into her face. Having no energy to fight him, Hircine rests her head on her own tits, humming in pleasant surprise at how soft and comfortable it is. No wonder Astarion loves to use them as pillows.

"I have to ask… Am I cold to you—in my body, not like this, obviously?"

Hircine shrugs, looking up through her lashes at Astarion. "You're more room temperature, though I guess if the room is cold, then so are you, but it's not a bad thing. It feels nice most days."

"You promise?" Astarion asks.

"Yes, of course. Why?"

He sighs heavily, leaning further into Hircine so her face is now buried in plush tits—there's no use fighting against it. "I-I was worried maybe it made you uncomfortable… or you put up with it for me."

Drawing a hand up and down his back—and finding the lack of scars a little strange—Hircine pulls away enough to speak properly. "No, not at all. I like the way you feel."

"Gods above, my perfect girl always knows what to say." Astarion squeezes Hircine's cheeks in his hands, peppering kisses all across her face. "You're so good to me. Is there anything you’d like to do since I have indulged in… everything?" He asks as he cards his fingers through her silky curls.

What could Hircine possibly want to do like this?

While she considers all the options, the steady thrum of Astarion’s heart pounds against her ear, activating some deep-seated ache within her body and fangs.

No, no, he wouldn’t allow that, would he? Hircine licks her lips, now feeling insatiable in all the wrong ways.

Lifting her head so their eyes meet, Hircine broaches the topic. “Could I… try to drink from you?”

Astarion stills completely once he removes his hands from her. “How do I know that you’ll stop?”

She pauses in consideration. “...You don’t, and neither do I, and if you aren’t comfortable with it, then there’s no reason to. I just—I’m curious, since I can feel your hunger, it’s so strange.”

He holds his chin the same way he does in his own body, putting great thought into this decision. Hircine understands how dangerous this could be for them, how easily she could kill Astarion and her own body if there is no control on her end.

And with Lexi gone, there is no one to heal him should worse come to worst.

Astarion grabs her cheeks, eyes blazing with excitement. “Let’s do it, because I also want to know how it feels, you know, when I’m not lying on the ground dying… and also you look so erotic—sexy!—when I bite you just right, I’d like to see how I look when biting.” She nods in his hands, and he keeps talking. “I think the wrist is our safest route, easier to pull away when I’ve decided you're done. I know you like a nice deep drink from your body, but I’d like to keep my wits about me, so maybe two pulls should be enough. How do you feel about that?”

Hircine was expecting an outright no, so this is better than nothing at all. “I think that’s perfect. There are some health potions in the bathroom should I… go too far.”

“No, there will be none of that. Two drinks max, and if you go further, I’ll slap you. Sound fair?” As if a slap will hurt her like this.

“I—Yes, that's fair.” She is absolutely salivating now at the prospect. The smell of blood beneath his skin has been easy enough to ignore, whether from Astarion’s years of control or maybe Hircine isn’t attuned to it with their body-mishap, but now that she is really focusing on it, it might be a little overpowering. Not in the way perfume is when a bottle is spilled, no, this scent is so hard to describe.

Astarion explained it once, she smells like berries, spices and a natural musk that is present in all living beings. She thought it was her perfume, but he was adamant that it’s her own scent, and sitting here now with Astarion’s in-human sense of smell does Hircine understand.

It’s under her skin, and to imagine how much more potent it will be when the blood is no longer trapped within… Oh gods. She can’t wait.

Adjusting himself so he sits next to her on the couch, Astarion offers his wrist, palm up. Never once in her almost one hundred and fifty years has Hircine thought a wrist looked delicious, even when it’s attached to a person with her face, wearing practically nothing on their body. Weird.

Right when she takes the wrist in her own hands, Astarion speaks up. “Go very, very slow. Stay in control, remember that drinking more will absolutely not stop the ache, and also, please don’t kill me. I will be quite cross with you.”

“Right,” Hircine says, licking her lips. Go slow.

She doesn’t know how she knows as her mouth is brought right over the spot she should bite. The pulse, while quiet beneath the skin, thunders in her ears, the guiding star of her hunger.

Everything is felt in slow motion—her nostrils flare, inhaling deeper. The room grows brighter, each follicle of hair on the arm she's holding now in hyper focus as her mouth finds its rightful place, biting down, feeling how her fangs easily slice into his flesh.

Astarion tenses with discomfort, but that's all on another plane where her hunger is concerned.

Again, she moves like this is a dance she's learned a thousand times over, fangs pull out and blood gushes into her mouth. The moan that breaks free from her throat is animalistic and ravenous. Has she ever tasted something so good? Hircine can recall exactly how blood tastes in her own body, pungent iron and sharp, not something she'd take a goblet of.

But this… this is the nectar of the gods, ambrosia! How could she live without such an amazing delicacy?

"Slow, Hircine!" Astarion urges, bringing her back to the present. His free hand pats her cheek roughly, not yet a slap, but more than ready to deliver one.

Slow. Slow. SLOW. She chants the words over and over as she swallows her first drink, instantly sensing how the warmth permeates throughout her body—bringing her attention down somewhere that has so far been very unresponsive.

More blood fills her mouth and she will savor this, since it shall be her last. The essence sits upon her tongue, coating it, imbuing it with the life that has been missing when she and Astarion were thrust into the other's bodies.

And then it is also swallowed down, and she will weep at the loss of that enlightening experience. Remembering how Astarion stops the flow of blood, she releases her mouth from his wrist, licking the pinholes where such a feast once lay. Something about the saliva of Astarion's mouth closes the wounds his fangs create, quickly staunching the flow of blood—and it delivers Hircine one last treat.

Astarion takes his wrist back, rubbing at it, disappointed. "I thought it would feel better than that…"

She blinks multiple times, trying to clear her mind of this euphoric rush that is burning through her now from head to toe. "That was much better than I expected."

"Ugh, that's not fair! You always make it look so hot when I bite you! Why was it not hot?" He pouts, crossing his arms as if throwing a tantrum, but the naked tits shoving up at his movements just looks silly, though Hircine is struggling to understand why her eyes are drawn down to them now, the hunger morphing into another kind of twisted burn.

"I didn't like it the first time you bit me… It might be an acquired… taste." She smiles deviously and leans in. "We could try again if you'd like."

Astarion scoffs, swatting her away. "Absolutely not! I will—Oh, now how could I forget about that?" Shoving Hircine back against the couch, he points to her tented crotch.

So that's what she's feeling. Blood lust.

Lavender-gold finds red, wide and pleading. "Can we? I know how long it lasts. Please, Hircine."

"It really is involuntary… I thought it was because you're attracted to me." How sad. She had thought her blood was special.

He pats her face, forcing her eyes away from her now erect cock. "I am attracted to you, never think otherwise, but that isn't the focus right now. Hircine, my darling, perfect love, I need it in me. Please."

"Fine. Hurry!" Before her words are even finished, Astarion is already tearing her shirt off, buttons flinging to the floor, then furiously undoing the ties on the pants she had put on after their nap. It's definitely more sensitive down there than it was earlier when he… helped tuck her penis back into her underpants. The feeling of Astarion's fingers brushing over where the cock lies beneath the clothing is sending bolts of arousal up into her insides.

It's so different yet similar to her own body, inside and outside. What a strange experience altogether.

Pants are stripped and then the underwear does not last long once Astarion gets his hands on it, now flung to some corner of their bedroom. Gods, he moves fast when he wants something as fanatically as this. Positioned between her legs on his knees, Astarion kneads into Hircine's thighs, not quite sure of how to proceed.

Is he drooling? Whatever, as long as he's happy…

"Can I taste my cock?" His eyes flash to hers before returning down to the thing in question.

Who would she be if she stopped him? "I—Uh, go ahead."

Not a moment is wasted before his lips wrap around the head, and Hircine gasps at how good it feels. Hot and wet in all the right ways, tongue slipping along the underside for a few swipes. She fully understands why Astarion is always so eager to have her choking on his cock.

It's amazing on the other side!

Why couldn't she have gotten it up earlier? So much play time wasted from her inability to see past herself.

She likes when his tongue is inside her in their normal interactions, but near all of her cock has been swallowed down by Astarion and Hircine can't help but moan aloud. What a rush!

Tucking hair behind his pointed ears, Astarion bobs up and down her shaft a few times, ringing his other hand along the base in a surprisingly tight grip. Hircine’s breath catches in her throat, strangling whatever noise was trying to escape.

Astarion then just goes for it, taking that cock all the way down—and he chokes. Gagging, he rips his head away, threads of spit connecting his mouth to her sex. "Ho-How do you—You make it look so easy!" He gasps out.

Hircine is stuck, stunned, cobbling back pieces of her mind because what. In. The. Hells. Everything about that was so perfect. She didn't realize how cold she felt until being encased with pure molten heat, and then the velvety mouth-feel…

With a cough to clear her throat, Hircine clears her mind finally, responding to Astarion. "I don't know how you suck cock, Husband, but you can't just take it without thought."

Astarion pauses, eyes widening with something that borders on frenzied. "It's because my cock is so big, isn't it?"

"Yes," she responds instantly. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. That is not a can of beholders she ever wants opened.

He stares back down at his cock, plotting out his next move and Hircine hopes for more, for anything really. "I'm going to fuck myself now."

Ah, straight to better than anything. "Get on me," Hircine all but begs, feeling her cock give a little kick in anticipation.

Still wearing that horrendous not-an-outfit, Astarion clambers up on his knees, resting them on either side of Hircine's thighs. Placing a hand on her shoulder, their eyes meet. "Are you ready, my love?"

"I—Wait!" Taking a fistful of that scrap of fabric he has on, Hircine rips it off with ease. "I was tired of staring at it."

Astarion's mouth has gone slack, forming a long O. "I'm going to come so fucking hard tonight." He searches out her cock, taking it in hand and lining it up to his sopping wet cunt.

Is that the one upside to a cock is that it isn't as messy as the endless slick she produces? Hircine would still much prefer her vagina back.

His heart is pounding a ferocious beat against his chest, eager to escape, and she briefly wonders if it feels painful to him. On his knees like this, Hircine is perfectly eye level with those breasts, staring into the white void that is his firm nipples.

Is she about to do this?

Oh, yes.

Astarion sinks all the way down on her cock with ease from his slippery lips and their moans in unison are music to their ears. It's rapturous, the way her—his cunt swallows her cock whole, devouring its entire length. Soft and wet and warm and delicious. To fill, instead of be filled, now that is an experience.

Their mouths find each other instantly, tongues tangling together. "Oh, fuck!" Hircine gasps into Astarion, and he swallows those words greedily, winding his fingers into her hair to crush their faces impossibly closer.

He pulls away, nipping at her lips as he does. "You'll suck on my tits?"

"Yeah…" Hircine breathes out as she's guided by Astarion to his breasts. His back is arched, offering them up for the feasting. Taking one in hand, Hircine latches on to a nipple, finding it not all that unlike the way she does it to herself—which she is doing, but not really…

Clearing her mind of any erection-killing thoughts, she sucks gently on the hardened peak, the taste of his skin so sweet and intoxicating. Astarion groans raggedly, nails clawing into her shoulders as he rocks in place on her cock, really the only stimulation she can handle right now.

She doesn't believe she's going to last long at this rate.

Shuddering, Astarion begins to move with purpose now, finding a rhythm astride Hircine. She releases his tit, choosing to lean back and watch him ride her like his life depends on it, as Astarion has done so many times when the roles were reversed.

So, it's maybe not that bad being a man. Kind of.

“Oh gods, oh gods, please, I need you deeper. Fuck me with my cock, Hircine, I can take it all.” His head is thrown back, tits bouncing as Astarion rocks up and down his own cock, all sense lost. “Hircine, my love, please go deeper! I need it!” Astarion is petting at her face, kissing her lips, moaning and screaming and begging.

Astarion is rarely the loudest one in the bedroom, always demanding that Hircine let loose as much as possible because it's 'angelic'… The shoe on the other foot is a little weird. "There's no going deeper!" She laughs, taken out of the moment.

"Wha-What?!"

“It's bottomed out inside you, Husband, trust me, I know.”

Astarion pauses his rocking, the lust giving way to more clarity. “How is that it? There's more to my cock, I know it.”

“No, that's all.” Literally. He’s sitting all the way down on it, there’s no more to take.

More of the fuck-drunk—cock-drunk might be more appropriate—haze lifts, his eyes narrowing with intensity. “Are you saying my cock’s small?”

“I have never, nor would ever say that. It's perfect, I swear.”

"My cock's big enough to choke your mouth, but not big enough to stuff your cunt?"

"It does both jobs perfectly, and from where I'm sitting, this cock feels stuffed inside of a cunt right now. You are the one having issues with it! I never have!"

“Well, I need more. Can you magic it bigger?”

She places her hands around his full hips, digging in to the soft flesh. “Uh, no, absolutely not. Having been in that same position, like two days ago if I recall correctly, I assure you that even if your cock were bigger, it would not fit.” For emphasis, Hircine pushes down on his hips, nodding knowingly at the small whimper that escapes his lips. “Do you feel that, Husband? That's the end.”

Astarion's cock could not be more perfect for Hircine. Long enough that it can reach the back wall of her cunt so deliciously just the way she likes, and the girth gives her the most delightful stretch, never painful, only pleasurable. Yet somehow he is begging for more…

His cunt clenches and pulses around her length, thighs baring down on her own. Oh, that's good. She'll take more of that.

“But what if it could go deeper?” His lips are on hers again, tongues dancing as Hircine's head is tilted up and pressed into the couch cushions.

She laughs awkwardly, talking around his tongue. “I promise—you, it can't—”

Reeling back with a pout—he likes this face I make?! It’s so childish!—Astarion persists. “Why not? There’s more room in here.” He pats his flat stomach with a grin.

“Do you need an anatomy lesson? If I—you, ugh whatever, go any further, it'll enter the—That's just not how it works.”

“Well, it should be filled with something. What better than my own cock?”

Hircine cringes internally, trying not to let his words ruin the arousal she's finally built up. Thank the gods Astarion is not a woman. “How about we not destroy my body for your deranged penis obsession, alright? I think that's a fair and normal thing to want.”

“But magic—”

She interrupts him, not allowing anymore of this insanity. “Considering that we are both not how we should be right now, I'd say it could get a lot, lot worse. Maybe turn us inside out, actually implant a slaad egg in our chests… I could go on, Husband, but I think you get the point.” Hircine considers him for a moment before bucking her hips up to meet his, relishing the gasp that's pushed out of his mouth. “Why don't we change it up a bit? I like this position a lot, but it’s not as fun for me at the moment.”

His eyes sparkle with excitement. “Oh, fuck me exactly the way you want to be fucked.”

He already does though… What haven't they done that Hircine would like?

Hmm, well it's not exactly novel, but she won't have to see her own face anymore.

“Get up.” She demands exactly the same way he does. She likes being told what to do when it's Astarion—and so does he, apparently, when he enthusiastically complies. They both groan at the loss of cock in cunt when he gets up, and Hircine is especially surprised at how much she misses that all-encompassing warmth wrapped around her. It'll be back in a moment.

Panting in tandem, they're both covered in slick, all between his legs and down the front of her thighs. Gods her body really has no problems getting wet for this one.

"Do you want a little roughness?" Hircine asks, running her hands along the curves of his neck.

He hums thoughtfully as their lips meld together one more time. "You're not going to accidentally break me are you? I'm a delicate flower now."

"Hah! Like I said, only a little… It will be just the way I like it."

His glowing eyes sparkle with insatiable desire. "Oh, yes. Yes, please."

Winding her hand into long locks of hair, Hircine pulls back his head tight, baring his throat at an angle so she can watch the pulse pound beneath it. Astarion stares up at her, a veil of caution now layering over his lust. She won't bite, there's no more need for that, as her mouth finds the sensitive skin, scraping fangs down to his collarbones, reveling in the way he trembles like a bird caught in a trap.

Just the way I like it.

A sharp tug drags Astarion further, curving his back so Hircine can take a breast in mouth, suckling the skin harshly to leave a puffy red mark, barely pressing her teeth in, careful not to break through. Astarion keens, loud and long, scrabbling for any purchase on Hircine's broad chest and finding none.

Having enough of this sensual play as it does nothing for Hircine, she takes his chin between her fingers, "Are you ready to be fucked?"

"Ravage me, my love!" He cries.

Grabbing his hair once again, this time with much more force—though nothing that will tear—Hircine guides Astarion to the back of the couch, shoving his stomach up against the ledge. She pushes him over until his feet no longer touch the ground, practically bent in half with his arms holding himself mostly upright on the couch cushions.

"Oh, I like this, pet."

"I know you do, and imagine how much better it would be if I were me and you were you."

His legs wrap around her waist, calves locking her in—or at least trying to with his limited strength. Cock is teased against the entrance to his slit, not entering, just a smooth up and down that makes him quiver and whine like a bitch in heat. Leaning in with her hold on his hair still tight, Hircine nibbles at his ear, whispering as she does, "I love you, Husband."

He sharply intakes a breath at her words, responding in kind. "I love yo—"

Her cock slams inside of him hard, stopping any verbal formations as she rocks and ruts into his cunt aggressively, hips slapping against his bare ass in a powerful rhythm and digging her blunt nails into his slim waist so Astarion won't go tumbling over the front of the couch while her other hand keeps his hair coiled within her fist. Her grunts are barely audible above the wet smacking and Astarion's own high-pitched cries.

How could he ever complain about this not being enough? His cunt walls are strangling her cock, milking it for everything it has.

Pistoning in and out, Hircine's ploughs into Astarion giving him exactly what he so desperately wants while she slowly but surely reaches the precipice of an orgasm.

Thinking back on it now, Hircine cannot believe he has never bent her over a desk or table in their home. Gods, she wishes it were her right now. It's fun doing the fucking, but she prefers to be fucked.

And maybe it's a little too much for Astarion too when his moans turn to something she'd rather not hear.

"Oh, fuck me, Hircine! Fill me to the brim!" His cries of euphoria are sharp against her more sensitive ears, and she is thankful for the soundproofing of their walls. "Ah~! Ah~! Ah~! Pet, give me my come! Make me pregnant! I'll carry my own baby! Let me have it!"

Her brutal pace falters, mind reeling at the turn this has taken. What the fuck is he saying? Is he truly so consumed by his own cock that he would go this far?

Astarion continues with his insane ramblings, "Hircine, please! I need it inside me! Ah~! I'll grow round with child! Breed me! Think of how—"

His words are drowned out as Hircine panics. Nothing makes her dry up—er, go flaccid like talk of children. That is not something they want. He's lost it.

She slows further, looking for any solution because she would never tell Astarion to be quiet… but he needs to shut up or this will all end much too soon.

The lingerie! It's shredded but thank the gods Hircine threw it on the couch with little regard for where it might end up. Releasing her hold on his hair, Astarion falls forward, silenced for the moment while she snatches up the fabric, bundling it up into a ball. Right when he starts to turn in outrage, Hircine shoves the lingerie into his mouth.

In his typical scent-obsessed fashion, his eyes roll into the back of his head as he tastes any lingering wetness there. They can continue in peace.

Returning to burying herself inside of his cunt, which grows slicker by the second, Hircine finds that path of no return, ecstatic at knowing there's an end in sight. She drives with purpose, listening to Astarion's muffled, desperate moans that foretell he must be close too. Gods, nothing gets him off like soaked panties.

The dam is about to break, her cock kicks, ready to release, and Hircine will not stop it, but the build-up is too great.

She blacks out.

++++

Hircine comes to, pinched between a heavy pressure above and then a firm and unyielding object below. She lays face down, ass up in whatever extremely uncomfortable position this is, feet dangling from wherever she is, scalp tingling and her cunt—

What happened?

She tries to get up, but whatever is on top of her keeps her down, unmoving.

And something is… inside her.

Wait, inside?

Hircine's eyes snap open and she is herself once again. Oh gods, she might cry at the relief of feeling so comfortable and whole once again, especially with what she imagines is Astarion’s cock still buried inside her.

No wonder she's so achey down there. How on these material planes did he even complain about his penis? It's perfect!

She tries lifting her torso up, but Astarion's heavy, limp weight keeps her in place, and really, her strength has been sapped by all this wonderful activity. Hircine won't be moving around anytime soon. Her legs flail about, anything to give her some purchase, yet they find nothing. Hircine is stuck until her husband rouses from his stupor.

Are they returned for good, though? She does not believe she can handle the strain of switching back and forth for the rest of her days, no matter how much she loves Astarion.

Ḩ̵͕͕͓͙̩͎̬̩͌̍͌̿̌̈́̐̓͜͠i̸̼̜̝͔͙̦̤̮̰̰̅̌̉̽̆̑̚͝l̶̼̄̆̉̄̄̈̓̕v̶̭͈͊̇̈́̋͐̀̇̽͐̌̇̅̚͝͝p̸̧͎̣̳͉̻͆̑̑̑

Ah! And Herma-Mora is back. Hircine never thought his inchoate chittering would be such a reassuring welcome.

There's no more hunger—of Astarion’s that is. She doesn't mind hers, at least it will go away with some bread and cheese.

He got his wish; she is bent in half, though Hircine did it to herself. Have they been here for long? Her legs are numbing from this position and pinch, and the frame of the couch is digging painfully into her hips while Astarion's body offers an unrelenting pressure to her backside.

How did he wake her up when he found them in the mines like this? A slap might be a little hard in this position… and she doesn't think she could ever hit him.

"Husb—" Her voice is a ragged croak. Hircine swallows and tries again, louder this time. "Husband! Wake up!"

A groan, then a subtle shift atop her follows, so Hircine shouts once more. "Husband, you're crushing me!!"

He lurches before propping himself up on his arms with a groan. "Uughh, what happened?" Then he springs to life, relieving Hircine of his crushing weight—though she might unhappily groan when his cock slips free of her over-sensitive cunt. "I'm me! Gods above, I'm me again!" He's crowing with excitement, probably running his hands along his body, remembering what it's like. As he should. He's a gorgeous piece of man.

"Oh, oh my, what's this beautiful sight?"

She doesn't know what he's referring to until Hircine feels the ghosting of Astarion's fingers across her arse, teasing down along the roundness until his cool fingers stroke at her lower lips. "You're leaking, pet. We can't have that."

Good gods… talk about a never-ending hunger.

A digit sinks inside of her, probably to push their combined spend spilling out back in and Hircine whines sweetly, but not before the sting of her hips returns in full force, reminding her of this great discomfort.

"Husband, you know I love it, but this position is hurting me…" She says, his fingers leaving her instantly. Maybe she shouldn't have said anything, what a way to ruin the moment.

Abruptly, she is pulled off the couch and into Astarion's embrace, kissing her forehead and nuzzling against her cheek. "I'm sorry, love, I got a little too excited."

He's so beautiful, exactly as he should be with his silver curls that catch the light, and eyes that crinkle so softly, sweetly, cutely, when he smiles. It wasn't even a whole day and she can't believe how much she missed that face.

She sighs in his strong arms, elated to be back to normal. "There is nothing to apologize for," but then she remembers his words when she was fucking him. "Actually, what in the hells were you on about? 'Breed me'? Did you lose you mind?"

He freezes, "I, uh, I don't know…" Astarion chews on his lip, lost. "It was like a fog of desire consumed me." His whole body is racked by a shiver.

"I feel like you cursed me." She places a hand over her stomach. "I'll ask Lexi to brew me some tea when she's back. Who knows what this-this switch has meddled with!"

"Good idea, my sweet. Give me a moment now." Dropping her like a sack of potatoes on the bed, Astarion disappears into the bathroom.

While he's gone, Hircine takes stock of her body. Not that she doesn't trust Astarion at all, but she wants to enjoy it and never take it for granted ever again. Every finger, toe and nail is accounted for. Her breasts are well played with, the hickey she left on one still there. How weird.

Rubbing her palms into her hips to soothe the burn from where she'd been pinned to the couch, Hircine waits for Astarion to return, ignoring the empty tenderness of her sex.

They might both be a little too hungry for one another.

Astarion reappears now, holding a damp washcloth in hand though he pauses on his way back, attention caught by something behind the privacy screen.

She wracks her brain for what it could be…

The mirror?

Oh. He finally, truly got to see himself after all this time, and it was only for a short while. Her heart twists for his loss. Hircine will find a way to make it up to him.

Back at their bedside, Astarion gently wipes away their combined fluids from her thighs and stomach, smiling as he does.

"What is it?" She asks.

"Oh, I'm just surprised at how messy it all was. I guess I don't really think about it when my head is between your legs feasting so not a drop is left…"

Hircine laughs, "You're right, men are so nice and dry. One of the few upsides."

"And miss out on that nectar? No, that is where you are wrong, my love, but I'll allow you to be wrong since there is more for me!" Astarion bends down, planting a smacking kiss against her lips.

"Fair enough, Husband."

Once cleaned off, Astarion slides into bed next to Hircine, layers of blankets draped over them and then he wraps his arms around her in a vice grip, and sure enough, his ear finds where her heart beats, strong and steady. "Mmm, I missed this."

"Me too…" Hircine whispers, snuggling closer.

They revel in the peaceful silence of being back in their bodies, everything righted once more.

Astarion leisurely runs a hand along her shoulder and under the swell of a breast, following the smooth lines of her abdomen to stop at a hip bone, finger just barely digging into the bone. "I've known it, but I never truly understood how fragile you are. If I'm too aggressive or pulling you around, please tell me. I hate the thought that I haven't treated you with enough care."

Her heart melts at his words while Hircine squeezes him tight, burying his head into her chest. "I swear you are only ever as rough as I request you to be. There is nothing to be concerned with, Husband."

"Alright. I-I just wanted to make sure." And never one to let sincerity settle between them for two long, Astarion rises, finding the hickey on her breast and wrapping his lips around it with a greedy growl. He's such a wonderfully puzzling creature sometimes.

"Say, would you like to get some more portraits done?" She asks, running her fingers through his messy curls.

His head whips up, red eyes all aglow. "Can we get some from different angles? Maybe a backside one, with me looking over my shoulder like I'm carrying a secret?" Astarion gasps, "Imagine waking up to a painting of my arse every day! Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"But then Lexi will see it too…"

"And it will be the finest piece of ass that old hag will ever get in her life. Maybe she'll be nicer when she knows I'm built like a god. And what about a nice, tasteful portrait of my cock?"

Hircine sticks her smile in place. "I don't think having your cock plastered on our walls is… tasteful…"

Astarion's face drops, looking like a scolded puppy. "It's because it's small, isn't it?"

"What? No! Oh my gods, fine! I'll make sure we find the finest painter in all of Faerun who specializes in… penises and then your likeness will be captured in perfect detail, bigness and all!"

His usual smirk returns, eyes cat-like and smouldering, and Hircine can't help but feel like she got played. "That's my perfect girl." He returns to his spot on her chest, purring contentedly. "I love this, and I love you."

"I love you too, Husband." She kisses his head, hopefully turning in for a well-earned rest that will be devoid of eldritch tricks.

#astarion #astarion smut #astarion x drow tav #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #drow tav #body swap #bodyswap

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starlingflight · 16 hours ago

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You using the tag “a new WIP just dropped” a few days ago is making me daily check ao3 just incase. Is it dropping soon? Put me out of my misery please.

So, in hindsight a more accurate tag may have been ‘wake up babe, a new WIP idea just dropped.’ 🫣

I’ve learnt from my past mistakes and don’t start posting until I’m at least halfway through the draft to avoid the risk of another abandoned, languishing WIP, so it’s gonna be a while before I start posting!

However, in penance, here is a snippet from chapter 1, in which Ginny is surprised to find herself not alone at the Burrow after taking a shower:

It wasn't the shock of finding someone in the house when she'd assumed herself alone that had set every one of Ginny's nerves on edge, nor was it the wand Harry had instinctively withdrawn from within his eye catching – and infuriatingly attractive – scarlet Auror robes and pointed directly at her. Ginny swallowed against the sudden dryness in her throat. She kept one hand firmly clasped around the the top of her towel, keeping it securely wrapped around her, but lifted the other beside her head in a show of contrition. When was the last time she'd found herself alone with him? Come to think of it, had she ever been alone with him? A beat of silence stretched on for what might have been eternity before Harry broke it by gruffly clearing his throat; the sound jolted Ginny from her paralysis. “What are you doing here?” She demanded, willing her voice to remain steady as she took what she hoped was a confident step into the room. Harry’s eyebrows slanted together in confusion. His eyes snapped up from their examination of her questionable state of undress to stare Ginny directly in the face. “What are you doing here?” He shot back. His tone, and the question, caused a flare of indignance in her chest. “It's my bedroom.” Predictably, Harry wasn't cowed by her shortness. “Isn't your bedroom in Holyhead, with the rest of your flat?” “It was until about forty minutes ago.” Any hope Ginny might have harboured that her inner turmoil at this sudden -- and humiliating -- change in her circumstances wasn't visible on her face was quickly dashed by the way Harry's frown deepened as he studied her expression. “What happened forty minutes ago?” “I moved home.” It was the first time she'd said it aloud since making the decision to do so earlier that day. Her stomach twisted uncomfortably upon hearing the words from her own lips, ringing with a finality akin to a death knell throughout her small childhood bedroom. Harry, however, seemed oblivious to her emotional distress; he was still frowning, though he'd at least lowered his wand and was now tapping it against his thigh in agitation. “No one told me you were coming back.” “Sorry,” Ginny said, her tone holding no real hint of apology as her eyes wandered disobediently over the scarlet robes stretched across the broad expanse of his chest. “I didn't realise my living arrangements were under your jurisdiction, Auror Potter.” “I didn't mean it like that,” Harry said quickly; it was hard to know whether the red flush spreading across his cheeks was due to Ginny's admonishment or the fact that his eyes were doing some wandering of their own, dragging slowly over the scant covering of her towel, passing the hem and sliding down her bare thighs with an intensity Ginny could practically feel on her exposed skin. “I just figured someone would've mentioned you were coming home.” “They might have, if I'd mentioned it to any of them,” Ginny admitted, the words spilling thoughtlessly off her tongue while her brain fought to continue functioning under the weight of Harry's stare. “I didn't tell anyone – it was something of a last minute decision.”

#hinny #snippet #canon divergent #secret dating #fwb

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siriusblackdevotee · 1 day ago

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I'm starting to think canon (or at least close to it) prongsfoot is fanon rosekiller..?? (do I have to say fanon because together they like, got one sentence max, of course they're fanon)

It's 3 AM, I'll circle back to whatever this means but right now my coherent thoughts are;

James and Sirius are privileged, rich fucks--treatment of Snape, all their comments towards him?? Yeah yikes

Unapologetic assholes--James harassment to lily and severus, James still messing with him even though he and Lily were together (?) Sirius' harassment to severus, Mr. I wish it was a full moon, the Prank and his idgaf attitude to it, matter of fact, his whole attitude after breaking out of prison?? Does this guy care about anything??

They match each other's freak--James constantly instigating shit and Sirius backing him up (?) James uses Peter to inflate his ego and then Sirius makes fun of Peter for it, not James tho (begs the question, do they ever call out each other??) clearly neither of them sees peter as equal (although yes, sure, mauraduers were as close as brothers)

Pretty chill with violence--again, James and Serverus, Sirius and Severus, Sirius and ready-to-kill peter, like bros been plotting since escape???

Obsessed with each other--Wont explain why Sirius is obsessed with James, but does James rejecting the dumbledore's offer to be a secret keeper to make it Sirius count?? And then Sirius is like no, and not Remus either, let's make it Peter and James is like, well ok??? Wtf??

Empathy where??--this is an extension to unapologetic assholes but still, they genuinely did not gaf about anyone else. They were horrible to everyone close to them (yes lily and remus) or near them and especially severus.

They both died but one of them didn't do much--Sirius was a parental figure to Harry (even if he was shit, he tried) and he brought unhinged comedy, that's all I need!! And idk what James did besides having a son that was key to ending the war. (Idk what Evan did but props to Barty cause he brought the return of Voldy!!)

That's how I interpret Rosekiller, this is no hate to the ship or the characters. This is literally why I love rosekiller, that they're not morally good and are very unhinged about it plus the obsession and that deep understanding with each other.

They are each other's first thought--James with wanting the secret keeper to be Sirius, Sirius being Sirius the entire series. He did not check up on Remus (his ex bsf) once after escaping even though he was very reachable, the first thing he did was check on harry (as he should)

Uh if you've read this far, know that this post isn't meant to have hate towards any characters or ships but if it comes across that way anyways, please do let me know what tags I should add.

Edit: how could I forget, they were ALWAYS around each other, 24/7 + Barty escaping his father to the Rosiers? Sirius escaping his family to the Potters? It's giving rosekiller core (??idk how canon is fanon core but here we are)

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kindnessoverperfection · 1 month ago

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Lately, when I talk about someone I strongly disagree with, I think about my friends.

When I interact with someone who regularly rants about people, and tends to take things in the worst ways (without any attempts at self-reflection or grace), I feel more on-edge. I'm nervous to voice opinions. I'm always over-thinking everything I send them, worried about how they'll receive it.

On the other hand, I feel much safer during conversations where someone is speaking neutrally about those they feel at conflict with. When they feel upset about a situation, but without talking aggressively about the other person. Because I know that if we're ever in a disagreement, or have some sort of conflict or misunderstanding, they won't hurt me or suddenly hate me*.

I used to speak much more aggressively about people. My personality disorders, combined with online toxic environments, were big factors in that. I was stressed and angry constantly, and I felt justified, and I felt afraid and ashamed to respond with anything but anger. But to make a long story short, I had several big painful interpersonal experiences where I realized how my attitude was impacting my friends.

I remember the nervousness in my friends' eyes. I remember the people I've met who are much older and never grew out of that reactive communication style, and I don't want to be that person. I want my loved ones to feel safe around me.

So nowadays, I do my best to speak compassionately (or at least neutrally). Because I want to signal to my friends that I'm not going to be cruel to them, or to automatically believe the worst of them, during a conflict or misunderstanding. I try to vent about situations and my fears instead of people.

I wish I'd realized this before.

*(I discuss splitting in the tags)

#actuallynpd #actuallybpd #actuallyautistic #relationship advice #communication skills #I added the autism tag because we missed the social cues that would have alerted us of this early on #and that sure is a big thing we talk about in therapy.#Accidentally hurting people is so painful. We learned this back in 2020 and have been #practicing it ever since. We've wanted to share this with others because honestly a post like this would have prevented a lot of pain and #conflict.#And as promised; about the splitting-#This isn't a post meant to shame anyone for struggling with intense anger or distrust or splitting or any other symptom #My partner and I both have PDs. I've learned to self-regulate intense anger before venting. I've learned how to use more neutral words even #when I don't feel them. And when he splits on me he tells me he's having a BPD moment and that he needs some time alone #That's okay and healthy <3 Mental illness is tough. PTSD is tough. I often jump to the worst conclusions because I'm scared of being hurt.#I've just learned to handle it differently.#I wanted to clarify that because I don't want anyone to think they're inherently bad for having trauma reactions. My goal was to make the #type of post I needed back then when I lacked that social awareness. I had to work through a lot of guilt and shame and that was really #really hard. But it was so worth it. I'm so so glad she told me.

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kandicon · 9 months ago

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*writes the same exact headcannons in slightly different scenarios over and over again*

#it all comes back to my unicron-spawn Starscream and my quintesson-built Jazz #today I worked a little on us Starscream and qb Jazz becoming friends and getting a absurdly similar dynamic to how I write Prowl and Jazz #but I stopped that to work on a memory loss fic w that Jazz fighting his way from autobots to Starscream bc he was the only one who he #trusted with a complete memory back up as another not-cybertronian #and I stopped THAT to work on a qb Jazz/Prowl fic where it's non-essential no pain killer surgery that Prowl has to do on Hazx bc he refuses #to go to medics. partially bc the surgery is completely unsafe in any firm and partly bc qb Jazz doesn't want anyone else to know what he is #(and Prowl barely knows either)#but I only got a few sentences into that b4 I went to do an Autobot!DJD (AJD?) torture scene w qb Jazz where the nameless character to die #manages to tear open his chest while fighting back and finds nothing inside #BUT that's rlly similar 2 a fic where I've done the same thing w Starscream (the chest discovery in a scuffle bit) so I reread that before #I got distracted thinking abt my Starop fic that's all Starscream doesn't have a spark because he's a ghost Optimus Prime doesn't have a #spark because he's a lab experiment gone rogue. Misunderstandings ensue. which I adore but have no idea how to fit a plot into #so bc I couldn't think of anything more than a few sentences for that I went to my fic where ALL of the command trine formed from Unicron #but Skywarp and Thundercracker died early and Starscream spends millions of years searching all of cybertron and hoping Vector Sigma #reincarnation works for unicronians too. biiiig depression angst fic. I can't decide if I want it to end in Starscream self-inducing stasis #in one of Vector Sigma's chambers or whether I want it to end w Starscream brutally murdering the new trine member the reincarnated versions #of Skywarp and Thundercracker were made with (who ftr would be Sun Storm)#n that fic reminded me of that one rewritting of the Starscream's Ghost ep where Starscream catches a glimpse of Scourge and immediately #attacks. it's barely a fight because in seconds SS is ripping through layers of armor desperately searching for Thundercracker beneath the #shell Unicron gave him. He needs Thundercracker to be there (he isn't). Only when his claws have gone completely thru Scourge's back does he #round on the armada- only to completely ignore Cyclonus and go for one of his clones (Skywarp)#and that reminded me of- *gunshots*#do u see why I only ever manage to post ponies?? I have less ideas w them so I actually finish.#I'm worried of hitting tag limit but I have plenty more of even less fleshed out fics for us Starscream and qb Jazz #(I barely said half of what's in my writing docs)

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pinkislouder · 2 months ago

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#so there's big stuff happening in my life #and i remembered that I used to go on tumblr to vent about my feelings and heartache etc. using this as a diary.#and it would always idk. help.#because we were such a big friend group and someone would listen. anyone.#so idk who's still here #but: i'm very sad these days #and I'm gonna start taking some meds for depression and adhd if i ever find someone who will medicate me bc my therapist isn't licensed #to do so. but yes so hopefully this one clinic will take me in as an outpatient and at least give me anti depressants even if they can't do #diagnostics for adhd so if anyone in germany (nrw) knows someone who will diagnose adhd pls tell me #furthermore i have fucked up a fuckton #and i'm like. at rock bottom of my life.#i don't think I've ever been this like. distraught.#to put it short: i am v bad with finances and then i go and don't tell the truth about it bc of shame? so much shame. and like. the need fo #everything to be okay. even if it isn't. at least the pretense counts right? so i've not been honest to the ppl i loved most. and in turn #things are hard and rough rn #it's obviously much more than i'm putting in my tags here but yes. i'm working on myself and hopefully am gonna put things right. but yeah

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lesbianfrottage · 4 months ago

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Okay but I need to be someone's beloved wifepet and belong to them completely and be able to pour my whole energy into just loving them. When will it be my turn!

#it won't be honestly #I do not think I will ever actually get to have that #I'm not pretty and I'm disabled in ways that both physically and mentally make me unappealing #so no one really wants anything real with me #especially JUST with me #and I'm *scared* of hurting someone with my craziness tbh #and I only trust like. 3 people at all rn and for various reasons none of those people and I are going to date #and in most of those cases I'm very relieved and in the other there's mixed feelings but mostly positive bc again. i don't want to hurt any1 #but i still yearn for it #it's still an emotional need #and I hate that it just isn't ever going to be met #it actually hurts so so badly knowing it won't be met #but i also understand that some people just dont get that kind of happiness #some of us just don't get to be loved #some of us are too ugly and crippled and insane for people to *want* us #i just don't really... want to keep going knowing thay #I'll post it here in the tags bc no one i know reads this blog #(a few know about it but it's not like anyone ever checks it)#but I'm definitely ideating and at risk rn #and i feel pathetic that this is what's doing it #but im an emotionally gooey person and a physical touch person and I'd already been thinking relationships probably werent something i can #like. even do #but then there was a blowup with my ex and like. it was made clear that i can not safely engage with anyone #like emotionally or romantically or sexually #because I'll just hurt them.#like there are parts of me i would like to change but are such a core part of me that they will never change #and they will always hurt someone if we're together ling enough #so im just going to idk.#isolate now tbh #im just gonna cry so much and know i will NEVER have what i emotionally need out of life

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zoekrystall · 1 year ago

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Anyways positive stuff. Kinda obsessed w the coffin of andy and leyley and oh I will not go into that tag again. I couldn't care less if you ship em I find it more funny how so many really think people purely ship toxic ships bc they think it's healthy. These people love to forget nuance is a thing that exists just to feel moral superior. Andy and leyley's relationship is toxic as fuck I don't think anyone interested in the game doesn't know that. Also while yes most ship em romantic does ship not equal romantic. Had to learn that one myself from more older fandom veterans.

Anyhow I am obsessed w ashley in a potential kin kinda way since part 1 (maybe she also just reminds me of how possessive I got. minus the uh murder. also other toxic manners I hopefully left mostly in the past. never said I was pure.) and had to make a new twt icon a bit ago and this one took way more hours than I would like to admit. Got the sprites from a discord. (Also in other news finally changed my twt @ so it's the same as everywhere else. didn't do it prior bc I feared random suspension but tested on another which showed it was fine to do). Also kinda reminds me of my oc zoe w her murder lust and smugness which also just adds to me liking her. Obsessed w the artstyle too I love it sm.

Primarily took so long bc no idea for bg and then I wanted it to match that header (same on my horror sideblog bc I love it sm) and searched pexels too long and then I wanted the shade to match the header one (kinda gave up it was almost 6am when I finished). Also since how I changed the sprite made some lines purple did I change that. I just slapped the blood on a black background to test what pic I could use as header (testing layout fits on ibispaint before I actually update them) and almost wanted to just use that. Ig if anyone wants it.

I want to make her my icon on here so badly too but I worked hard on the current halloween one,,,

At least got her on whatsapp too but w a different sprite and bg. Maybe discord once halloween is over I just need to come up w a layout and a fitting "_ rose" display name.

#a wild lux appears #If anyone in the fandom sees this and wants an icon hi tell specifics my blacklist for that is almost non-existent #tw blood #Don't think I ever tagged it but in case it lands in search even tho I didn't tag anything #But alas words in posts are enough. Nightmare search.#Use the ones in this post if ya want idc. Credit would be neat.#Nonetheless won't tag the fandom. Maybe if I ever make a icon set since there really isn't much content

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letbuckfuck · 7 months ago

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#alright these tags are super embarrassing but i needed to rant publicly so uh. you can read this but please don't perceive me too much #it is so fucking exhausting having nobody to share my life with #i have literally zero friends at this point bc ever since my grandpa died i've pretty much stopped trying to keep in touch with my hometown #friends and i cut off my 'friend' group that were racist assholes who treated me like a doormat back in october and haven't really made any #close friends at college since. and i just fucking hate that this is the same way i've felt for so many fucking years like you'd think it #would be bearable at this point and i'd be used to being alone and for a while i honestly was but it just hit me tonight how fucking lonely #i am and how tomorrow i have to keep on just doing the shit i have to do in life without anyone to talk to and share it with #other than my mom who's been pissing me off lately so i've been pushing her away too!#it's so tiring to have to go out and do things and have responsibilities everyday and not being able to share that with anyone idk it makes #it feel almost like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders which is SO dramatic i know #like today i wanted to talk about the stupid false alarm gas leak thing with my sort of friends in this club i'm in but i didn't get to talk #to anyone at the meeting bc everyone was just talking amongst themselves in their little groups of best friends and it just reminded me that #i don't have that and i've never fucking had that i've only ever pretended i had that #it's like all these years i've been pretending to be a person that has friends and knows how to live life normally but i never have #more than anything i just miss my friends from home bc they're the closest i've ever felt to having friends that are like family but. i #don't know how to talk to them anymore. i didn't tell any of them when my grandpa died and i think they just assumed that i've moved on so #they've probably moved on and i already know that they have their own lives and friends at their schools that are a lot more full than mine #wanna know the worst part about all of this? i just had therapy and basically told her everything's fine #and i won't meet with her again until 3 weeks from now so literally the only person i can talk to about this right now is my mom #which i am absolutely not gonna do bc she's gonna get so scared and worried for me and i can't have that rn #anyways yeah. this isn't even that big of a deal like i haven't had friends for at least the past 6 months it's not like anything's changed #i just feel extra sad about it right now. i need a distraction stat gonna go watch watch some tv goodnight #shut up hanna

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somelazyassartist · 2 years ago

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What do I have to do to never see graphic novel Taako ever again (/nbh)

#THAT FUCKER MAKES ME SO GODDAMN UNCOMFORTABLE I CAN'T STAND HIS FACE #I HAVE SO MANY TAGS BLOCKED TO TRY TO AVOID HIM BUT I STILL SEE HIM CONSTANTLY #NOT THE FAULT OF ANYONE HERE AND I GUESS IT'S UNAVOIDABLE WITHOUT LEAVING THE FANBASE ALTOGETHER #BUT HE MAKES MY FUCKING SKIN CRAWL I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM #ESPECIALLY AFTER GETTING 'THE ADVENTURE ZINE' AND HOW CAREY USED TO DRAW TAAKO #LIKE. THEIR OLD DESIGN FOR TAAKO WAS BORING BUT THE GN VERSION IS SO MUCH WORSE NOW #BECAUSE SHE LIKE. ACTIVELY CHOSE TO GIVE HIM VISUAL TRAITS THAT ARE VERY SIMILAR TO CERTAIN ANTISEMITIC CARICATURES #(WHETHER SHE KNEW THEY WERE TRAITS OF THOSE CARICATURES OR NOT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE THE FINAL PRODUCT)#ESPECIALLY SEEING THAT SHE USED TO DRAW TAAKO IN A COMPLETELY NORMAL WAY #AND THE LOOKS PAIRED WITH HOW THEY CHANGED HIM TO BE SO MUCH CRUELLER AND GREEDIER IN THE GRAPHIC NOVEL....#LIKE. CAN YOU UNDERSTAND WHY HE GIVES ME THE FUCKING CREEPS #I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM I ONLY EVER ACTIVELY LOOK AT HIM WHEN DIRECTLY TALKING ABOUT HIM #I DON'T EVEN DISPLAY MY COPIES OF THE BOOKS. I ACTIVELY COVER THEM UP BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT HIM #OUGHGHGGGHHHHH AGAIN THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR #HE JUST MAKES ME FEEL SICK TO LOOK AT AND I SEE HIM CONSTANTLY DESPITE HAVING EVERY TAG I CAN THINK OF BLOCKED #(EXCLUDING TAGS THAT INVOLVE THE ORIGINAL SERIES. IT'S SPECIFICALLY THE GN THAT BOTHERS ME)#(I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT OUT OF THE PODCAST'S FANDOM BECAUSE I LOVE THE ORIGINAL)#(BUT THE GRAPHIC NOVELS OFTEN DON'T GET TAGGED WITH SEPARATE TAGS SO IT'S HARD TO FILTER OUT JUST THE COMICS)#(AGAIN LIKE. THIS MIGHT BE JUST ME AND I'M NOT TRYING TO VAGUE ANYONE BUT JUST. UGHGHHGHHGHHHHH HE MAKES ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE)#vent

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neverendingford · 3 months ago

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#tag talk #I've gotten pretty good at talking in such a way as to reassure and assuage peoples doubts.#currently working on selling my electric piano on fb marketplace (I had to make a new account for it cause I deleted my old one years ago)#and there's a lot of automatic suspicion people have that it might be a scam. but there's a lot of details you can add to fight that.#when working out a time to meet. mention you have a job or mention things you'll be doing when you're busy.#people love pictures or videos because we still have that inherent trust that videos and photos can't be faked.#I used that one a lot of grindr. a lot of people would just use the same two or three grainy photos so sending fresh photos occasionally..#-occasionally would stand out against everyone else who puts no effort into their profile.#there's just so many little ways to communicate authenticity but you can't try too hard or you'll come across as scammy.#idk though. maybe my inability to conceive of anyone mistrusting me makes me also just seem trustworthy.#in nursing I could gain paranoid residents trust really easily and could calm down anxious residents by just explaining the process to them.#which honestly is a victory for the autistic urge to just explain everything and then maybe explain it again and again #idk. I just try so fucking hard to be genuine and authentic in everything I do and that's kind of a skill you can artificially apply #like how you can learn to be kinder to people. learn to be more patient. learn to be more loving. likewise you learn to be more authentic #*whispers* (which also helps on the offchance you do need to lie about something. people believe you about that too)#but lying isn't something you ever want to get caught at because that shatters your whole reputation and then you're fucked #but you know what? confessing a lie yourself boosts your credibility massively. if you think you're about to get caught? get ahead of it #turn a lie into a mistake you feel oh so guilty about so you just had to say something and suddenly you're a golden child with integrity #anyway this has been manipulation 101 #use your powers for good not evil or whatever. you want people to like you and if you ever fuck up and lie they won't like you so don't

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astonmartinii · 2 months ago

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the king of monza can do what he wants | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem alonso!reader

the king of monza can win the race, have his relationship exposed and challenge his soon-to-be father-in-law to a duel, he can do what he wants.

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

oscarpiastri

liked by olliebearman, danielricciardo and 432,095 others

tagged: lilyzneimer, yourusername, charles_leclerc

oscarpiastri: double header means we crashed on my adoptive parents' couch and forced them to cook for me (only y/n, obviously)

view all comments

user1: does he know this isn't his private account?

user2: SHUSH DON'T TELL HIM

user3: we need to enjoy this while it lasts

jackdoohan: oscar, there's still time to delete this

oscarpiastri: why would i delete this?

oscarpiastri: oh

oscarpiastri: oh no

jackdoohan: you might want to warn your kinda dad you've exposed the identity of your kinda mum as your kinda grandad is probably putting out a hit on him as we speak

fernandoalo_oficial: don't call me a grandad 👿🤬😡😠💢😤

jackdoohan: OSCAR QUICK HE'S DISCOVERED EMOJIS HE MUST BE REALLY MAD

user4: fernando, are you okay?

fernandoalo_oficial: i want that frenchies head on a stick

charles_leclerc: i am monegasque!

fernandoalo_oficial: so you do actually want to die?

yourusername: okay let's calm down old man

fernandoalo_oficial: SILENCE I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! THAT'S THE MAN?

yourusername: yes!

fernandoalo_oficial: no.

charles_leclerc: i object!

lancestroll: his eye hasn't stopped twitching since

charles_leclerc: i don't care! he might be crazy but I'M IN LOVE SO BRING IT OLD MAN

user5: wtf have i woken up to this morning

user6: the public execution of the prince of monaco

yourusername: just because he has a samurai tattoo doesn't mean he knows how to use a sword

fernandoalo_oficial: i will tear him apart with my bare hands

user7: i fear this comment section alone has undone all of his funky grandad tiktok PR

user8: he's going to make charles cry in the press conference

yourusername: oh well, charlie is hot when he cries

user9: and how do you know that...

yourusername: that's none of your business 😈

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 2,312,088 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: italy has my heart and so do you <3

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user11: queen got exposed and immediately started flexing her unbelievably sexy bf

yourusername: why wouldn't i? he's so damn FINE

charles_leclerc: teehee (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

user12: you might as well have told me to kill myself

fernandoalo_oficial: enjoy your weekend charles, it will be your last

charles_leclerc: and if i win? i think suspended sentence?

fernandoalo_oficial: @carlossainz55 i have a proposition for you

yourusername: why are we acting like he wouldn't do that for free

carlossainz55: excuse me?

yourusername: i'm calling you a jealous bitch xx

carlossainz55: what is your price nando?

fernandoalo_oficial: i'm not fucking paying you, i was assuming you'd do it in a jealous rage anyway

carlossainz55: ???

user13: the way carlos is being jumped from both sides unprovoked

user14: which ever alonso it is, they choose violence

oscarpiastri: so ... am i off the hook yet?

yourusername: you know we can't say no to you

fernandoalo_oficial: oscar you might actually be my favourite now, thank you for bringing this to my attention

oscarpiastri: sure i'll take it!

charles_leclerc: you can have my heart and everything else for as long as you want

yourusername: looks like you'll never get it back ;)

charles_leclerc: that's fine by me if i get to spend it with you

yourusername: i love you :P

charles_leclerc: i love you more ( > 〰 < )♡

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by jensonbutton, aussiegrit and 1,209,566 others

fernandoalo_oficial: cash prize for anyone who can actually track down this little rat - i just want to talk i swear

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user15: it's official everyone, he's gone crazy

user16: as crazy as he is at least he's bringing the DRAMA 🤩

yourusername: this isn't very peace and love of you

fernandoalo_oficial: that has never been the way in this family

fernandoalo_oficial: but let me make this clear, i mean in a destroy all of your enemies way rather than a jos verstappen way

maxverstappen1: ???

yourusername: destroying our enemies does not mean you can do your best jos verstappen impression and drive your aston martin into charles

fernandoalo_oficial: don't be stupid y/n, the aston martin is too slow, i'm going to steal his brakes

yourusername: and how will you do that boomer

fernandoalo_oficial: ferrari are stupid they probably still haven't changed the passwords or locks since i left

yourusername: @scuderiaferrari excuse me???

scuderiaferrari: ....

user17: so like this is a genuine hit?

user18: mob boss!fernando alonso you are so special to me

user19: sorry charles but it's so sexy

charles_leclerc: drop the address senor i'm not scared of you

lancestroll: he brought the samurai sword btw

yourusername: @f1 DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE ANY SECURITY MEASURES ???

f1: it made a good tiktok 👍

yourusername: you people are useless

charles_leclerc: no worries my love it's all under control

fernandoalo_oficial: i will carve you like a christmas turkey

yourusername: you go anywhere near charles with that sword we're both going romeo and juliet style

user20: what on earth is going on

user21: just smile and wave i think we're watching collective hysteria

liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri and 3,562,778 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

f1: CHARLES LECLERC WINS FOR FERRARI AT MONZA

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user23: bro heard fernando was gonna steal his brakes and simply just drove so fast he didn't need them

user24: he was like 'oh you want my head on a stick? TRY AND CATCH ME'

yourusername: pretty boy is so so talented it's not fair

yourusername: who am i kidding

yourusername: STUNT ON THOSE HOES I LOVE YOU BABY

charles_leclerc: thank you baby, i simply had to drive so fast so i could give you a kiss

charles_leclerc: and also so i could tell your dad to SUCK ON THAT OLD MAN

user25: he's had too much champagne and might actually get himself killed

user26: i will throw myself in front of that sword for him

yourusername: you and me too buddy - i'll cover your drinks for this evening

fernandoalo_oficial: i still want him dead

charles_leclerc: what the fuck do you want from me? i just won? did you see that freak of an orange car? i look after your daughter like i looked after those tyres

yourusername: so romantic 🤭

fernandoalo_oficial: he just compared you to tyres? have some standards i raised you better?

yourusername: believe me, i do have standards - he's special xx

fernandoalo_oficial: i also won monza with ferrari he's not that special

user27: at least he's stopped with the samurai sword talk?

user28: he did say he still wants him dead though

maxverstappen1: @yourusername why couldn't you have dated lando? would've made this championship a lot easier

landonorris: HUH?

yourusername: please refer to my previous comment about standards

charles_leclerc: hehehehehe

landonorris: HUH???

charles_leclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 4,523,099 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc: grazie mille tifosi !! this is for you and all of your support. i'm glad my family and my love were here to see this win as well. fernando, bring your sword, i'll fight for your daughter's hand.

view all comments

user29: i love this family and i've known them a week

user30: fernando might have to go through me as well at this point

yourusername: i love you so much and you have deserved this and more for so so long xx

charles_leclerc: i couldn't do it without you (and our weird little grid family)

yourusername: you're my favourite person in the world and i just love to see you happy

charles_leclerc: you make me the happiest man in the world

yourusername: i love you

charles_leclerc: i love you too

user31: as cute as all this is ^^ where is this duel

user32: can someone PLEASE STREAM IT !!!!! I WILL PAY

user33: I NEED IT I NEED IT

fernandoalo_oficial: come outside

lancestroll: he spent all of the debrief sharpening the sword btw

charles_leclerc: i'm ready girlypop

fernandoalo_oficial: GIRLYPOP ???

yourusername: PEACE AND LOVE BOZO

maxverstappen1: can we get this show on the road please?

lewishamilton: charles please hurry up i've got some serious cash on this tussle

yourusername: how much we talking?

charles_leclerc: i might die and you're checking the wager?

yourusername: because i have faith in you !!!!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, fernandoalo_oficial and 2,136,344 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: he's alive and he's a winner! the king of monza can do what he wants

view all comments

user35: prince of monaco? king of monza? bro is collecting titles

yourusername: my husband next 🤞🏻

charles_leclerc: bet

user36: is ANYONE GOING TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED IN THE DUEL

georgerussell63: it was extremely unprofessional and there will be an extensive powerpoint covering how this won't happen again

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll fight you next time george

user37: don't go off TOPIC

charles_leclerc: i out strategised him lol

oscarpiastri: what he means is that he surprised fernando from behind and wouldn't stop hugging him until he agreed that he wouldn't skewer him like a kebab

charles_leclerc: and it worked! now look he's on my boat giving me his blessing

user38: you're telling me charles hugged his way out of the conflict?

user39: perhaps the most babygirl he's ever been

user40: we need the pictures SHOW IT TO ME RACHEL

fernandoalo_oficial: fine, i guess he's okay. i'm not calling him the king of monza though

yourusername: i knew you'd come around

fernandoalo_oficial: i love my daughter SORRY

yourusername: don't lie to me you only calmed down and accepted it because i called in the reinforcements

user41: i'm crying she called babysitters for her dad

yourusername: jenson and mark, idk how you deal with him

jensonbutton: the stress of him and his antics keep me skinny

aussiegrit: i think we're all trauma bonded

charles_leclerc: i'll be the king of monza, if you'll be my queen

charles_leclerc: and i will continue to do what i want

yourusername: i'll be your queen anywhere you want

yourusername: and if doing what you want includes fighting my dad... let's turn it down a lil

charles_leclerc: for you, i'll do anything

fin.

note: here yall go - this was in my drafts half done from monza weekend but life got crazy

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #f1 social media au #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fluff

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