#this isn't a 'why is no one talking about this?' because a lot of people are talking about it

[tulliok]

we stopped watching around the later seasons and barely remember what happened in them so we're encouraging you to talk about what you dislike or want to criticize

Got asked, so here’s my abridged season 8-9 thoughts.

As someone who grew up watching the show from the beginning, I have a lot of gripes with how “friendship” is defined as a power-up or a material resource. However, it really wasn’t that big of a deal because I understand that MLP is a show targeted towards young girls that enjoy playing with toys, and the show was able to still portray realistic and educational lessons. 

The introduction of a friendship school in season 8 was a poor decision for so many reasons. Narratively, it locks our main characters into a single location, and we go from having a cast with unique occupations and storylines… to one where all six share the same responsibilities as an instructor and tackle the same lessons. Especially when some of them don’t seem like the type to enjoy teaching at all.

But the biggest issue I have is that the school validates the show’s idea that friendship is a unique resource that has to be taught, and that comes with a load of problematic implications. To get to the worst one right away, the school came packaged with a storyline about xenophobia and Equestria’s prejudice against their foreign neighbors. The coding of non-pony species in the show has always had weird racial implications (yaks and dragons being depicted as loud, unintelligent barbarians, the buffalo and Zecora representing members of real marginalized groups), but it is made even worse in this season by depicting them as people that are uneducated and need to be taught basic social skills and lessons in a foreign land. The Friendship School is literally a project designed by Twilight to spread Equestria’s idea of friendship to other countries! On top of that, they introduce what is essentially a conservative, white supremacist pony as a villain, and to beat him Twilight needs to prove that the exchange students are worthy of being taught. I really don’t think I need to explain why this is extremely weird and shouldn’t even be in the show in the first place.

I love the show because of episodes like Amending Fences, Leap of Faith, and No Second Prances—episodes that teach children that relationships aren’t big battles of morality and power but are complicated experiences that everyone has a unique response to. These experiences cannot be taught in a school with sewing lessons and apple picking and taking exams. They are also not unique to any particular community or race—that is a fact of life that most children should immediately understand. It’s extremely disheartening watching the show regress to the point where Rarity is telling a young girl that her cultural costume isn’t pretty enough and she’s dolling her up in wigs to cover her braids and giving her etiquette lessons to “fit right in." I don’t care that the moral was that she was wrong; what’s wrong is that the show even bothered making episodes like this at all. 

Season 9 concludes with a happy ending where all is well, but it isn't because the young child villain, the one character that needed friendship lessons and the grace to grow up, was turned into a garden accessory without a second thought. All while surrounded by the redeemed villains that the series arbitrarily decided were more worthy of our sympathy.

I don’t want to overwhelm anyone with my opinions and I want to be as fair as possible about what made me so uncomfortable with the show’s conclusion. I am a longtime fan, but I also care a lot about children’s media being responsible with their messaging, especially when they tackle subjects that require a great level of care, such as race and relationships. MLP (whether older fans like it or not) is ultimately a show about teaching children valuable social skills and providing moral lessons with every adventure.

I doubt this mixed messaging was intentional on the writer’s part. Rather, the last seasons were recklessly handled. To a viewer’s eyes, there isn’t a difference between these two.

[anniflamma]

This isn't a question, but rather a love letter to your art<3.

Thanks to you, I've started enjoying Greek mythology and the Bible again (I mean from a point of artistic, mythological, historical, and theological analysis; my status with any kind of religion is being agnostic XD).

And I already enjoyed Epic the Musical, but I really love the designs you make, how you empathize with the symbolism and lore of the Gods when designing them, and how you make Odysseus so human with his crude expressions that makes me empathize with him (And he's one of the characters I hated the most from Greek mythology lol)

And then there’s your art about the bible, I have to admit that I tend to avoid the biblical religion because of the weight it still has on our daily lives, the damage it has done from the past to this day, and how they deny it with current hypocrisy (I live in Spain, there the official religion is catholic), but your lgbt drawings have really encouraged me to open the bible and see it from an objective and neutral point of view, and just enjoy it as another book and not as something I’m forced to follow.

Also I didn’t know there was so much LGBT content in the bible XD Seriously, thank you so much, if you had a patreon, I would pay you for the amount of happiness and culture you have given me (^///^)

By the way, reading your posts I found out that you recently experienced an internet drama that has become so popular lately. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that both you and that poor artist had to go through this, that human hypocrisy has no limits or shame, and that I agree with everything you say. Just because we like a character or an author doesn't mean we agree with their crimes or ideologies.

I hope you have a nice day<3

Hi! I’m sorry it took me a while to respond! I mean it, I’ve read this over and over, and it makes me so happy. I’ve been thinking about how to respond, but sometimes it's hard to get it out into words.

It makes me so happy that my biggest interests make others interested in it too. Heck, when people ask questions, I get all giddy!

Talking about biblical/christian saints, greek myths, history, different cultural views and changes was kind of the whole point of why I started this tumblr blog. I have so many drafts filled with random info about LGBTQ+ saints..... Now… I post mostly thirsty drawings of greek gods with hairy chests... T.T

And I sympathize a lot when it comes to religious trauma. I consider myself lucky in these matters, my mom is Catholic, and she has her views that I don’t agree with and hurtful. Yet she still supports me in her way and watching my bible retelling animatics, everytime I post a new bible animatic, she writes me: "What have you done to Daniel..."

I also have my hurts and anger towards hypocrisies too, and I guess this is my way of countering that?

LGBT content in the Bible is something that really fascinates me. I think it's important to keep in mind that people from about 2,500 years ago had very different views when it came to gender and sex compared to how we see it today. In a way, the Bible does have strict social gender expectations, and if you didn’t fit in, then you weren’t considered part of that gender. But at the same time, it acknowledges that your sex. I think it’s in the Talmud were it discusses the fact that, throughout the Bible, there were about eight genders:

Zachar: male.

Nekevah: female.

Androgynos: having both male and female characteristics.

Tumtum: lacking sexual characteristics.

Aylonit hamah: identified as female at birth but later naturally developed male characteristics.

Aylonit adam: identified as female at birth but later developed male characteristics through human intervention.

Saris hamah: identified as male at birth but later naturally developed female characteristics.

Saris adam: identified as male at birth but later developed female characteristics through human intervention.

Some scholars even believe that Abraham and Sarah were Tumtum. A Tumtum is not considered to be very distinct but rather flexible between male and female sex/gender—"sometimes he is a man, and sometimes he is a woman." The simple fact that God said Abraham had a womb and from it, he would have children. Some say that this is why he is a Tumtum, while some historical linguists argue that ancient Hebrew didn’t have the vocabulary for male genitalia yet. Both arguments are valid, and I like them both!

There’s tons of stuff I could bring up—Joseph with his princess dress, Naomi and Ruth, David and Jonathan, and the discussions around whether Daniel was a Saris Hamah or a Saris Adam. We know he was called a saris, but we’re just not sure which. And then there's Jael, whose story is filled with a lot of phallic symbolism, and even her name is very gender-neutral.

I think I’m going to end here. I could yap about these things forever! But thank you again taking your time writing to me and I hope you also have a nice day! <3

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

CH2-13 Thoughts + CH2-14 Predictions

Hello DRDT Fandom! CH2-13 came out about four or so days ago as I'm posting this, and I finally mustered up the energy and mental strength to write down my overall thoughts, and also general predictions for what I think is to come in the next episode. A lot happened in this episode and we have a lot to cover, so let's get started! Before we do though, I think I should give us a reminder of where we currently are in terms of the swear chart and the bingo card, as of CH2-12 Swear Statistics

Bingo Card

Just like the last post, I'll be separating my talking points into character categories, so let's jump straight in with the big man himself...

Levi

Quick Disclaimer: I myself am still trying to unlearn the mindset that having low or no empathy is in any way a moral failing. If I say anything wrong or rude, please politely correct me. Remember kids: Your feelings, thoughts, and emotions, what you feel and how you feel them if you do at all, do not have any moral weight, they are simply aspects of your brain and you cannot control your brain. The only thing that has moral weight is your actions.

So as we learned in the previous episode, Levi has the murderer secret! And as we learn in this episode, he apparently killed four people, one of which being his father. DRDT continues to take Danganronpa's standard tropes and incorporating them in unique ways, in this case Levi represents the trope of the Chapter 2 Serial Killer reveal (Genocide Jack, Peko, Maki). I love that DRDT keeps doing this and I hope it keeps it up You know what else is staying consistent, though?

(x) Levi: That incident happened when I was in my junior year of high school. Levi: My junior year was also the year that Hope's Peak scouted me as the Ultimate Personal Stylist. Levi: To my understanding, it would've reflected poorly on Hope's Peak to recruit a murderer, so they pressured the court into not pressing charges.

US-HPA being morally corrupt as all fuck, that's what! Like no, seriously, it makes more and more sense as for why Xander David and Mai were most likely forming a revolution against this damn place, cause wow. The choice to scout out Levi during his Junior Year, when he was still in high school, is...interesting. Given that this Hope's Peak takes in College-aged students, why not just wait until Levi has graduated high school? In fact, that probably would've been even better because by then Levi definitely would've perfected his skills in styling by then, and thus would further justify him being enrolled in the academy. We don't know whether or not Levi was scouted before or after his incident, but given how Levi explains the events, I'm willing to bet this was after. Which...makes thing especially strange. But I'm sure it's no big deal. I mean, it's not like we have any evidence of US-HPA preying on vulnerable childre--

(x) Min: The Ultimate Contest for Eminent Students was made for a very specific target audience. Min: Those children who had no talents, who would consider spending their entire lives preparing for one single test for even a chance to become an Ultimate...

Oh. Well isn't that funny, huh?

Part of Hope's Peak's branding in general is the promise of a better future, which is something that Levi clearly wants. So I can most definitely see why the idea of being enrolled in the academy appealed to him. Levi being a delinquent in his teenage years definitely tracks, given how we know that his family was full of bad influences (including himself more than likely). And I am absolutely not surprised that Levi ended up killing his father. I think a lot of us theorized for a while that the person he killed was linked to his family.

I'd absolutely adore to learn more about Levi's family situation and what exactly their relationship with each other was, because "We were bad influences on each other" can mean a lot of things. Given the fact that not even the police cared about the death of Levi's father, I'd be pretty willing to believe that Mr. Fontana is a wanted man who has done a lot of criminal harm to others. That might even be where Levi formed the mindset that people are defined by their actions. Maybe, that's my best guess and it doesn't even include his mother and brothers, lmao. Anyway, that's enough of Murder, Corruption, and Daddy Issues. Let's talk about the other thing that was revealed about Levi this episode, or more-so put into words. His low, if zero empathy. Firstly, those who are headcannoning Levi is ASPD, I see you and I love you. So much. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that my first thought upon watching this scene was "Levi is so Autismcoded" lmao But in all seriousness, I absolutely adore this side of his character. In general something I've always loved about Levi is the fact that he, to put it bluntly, does not know how to act. He's constantly seeing what others do and copying them, and asking them for guidance when he doesn't know what to do. His first appearance shows him using Xander and Teruko's appearances to wager what kind of person they are, which is more than likely how he got into styling in the first place. He's basically masking and trying to appear as what he views as normal because he's aware that his lack of empathy is not something most humans possess. And his actions reflect that of what he thinks a good person would do in these scenarios, whether that be your friends not inviting you to an event, or someone profusely bleeding from their neck. To put it in simple terms: He's masking. I love that. It really reminds me of the experiences had by my neurodivergent friends, and even though Levi is not canonically neurodivergent, the fact that so many people headcannon him with ASPD or Autism really goes to show how DT-Dev nailed that kind of experience, and how well they wrote Levi's low empathy in general. Well-done, DT-Dev :D ...Also I think it's safe to say that Accomplice!Levi is not happening. Damn it, I really liked that theory lmao.

Ace

[not even three minutes later]

...See, this is why I always believed Ace was telling the truth about David and Arei's conversation, because wow this man is competing with the former in the Shitty Liar Olympics.

If Ace's sense of security around Levi wasn't already shattered, it sure as hell is now. Which is very upsetting to see, but also very entertaining to me as an aficionado of toxic yaoi. I was never really an Acevi girl, it was just never something I was attracted to (probably because for a majority of CH2 Part 1's airing I really didn't like Ace lmao), but this combined with the Other Thing I'll talk about later has definitely sold me on it. I hope they get worse.

I can't remember what post it was, but I remember seeing someone talk about Ace very much projecting a friendship onto Levi that was never really there between them, and looking back, I absolutely agree. I mean, where the two of them really friends? I do think that Levi does, or did, genuinely like Ace. I don't think he would've been hanging around him in Chapter 1 if he didn't. But it was simply just that, he liked Ace. Ace loved Levi, and saw him as his lifeboat in the midst of this scary unfamiliar situation. Even if everyone else either was annoyed by or straight-up disliked Ace, even if he could die at any moment, he could still rely on Levi as a presence of safety and security, but that all came crumbling down.

ace can you please change your sprite

The fact that Ace, the man famous for jumping to conclusions, not thinking anything through or in depth, and switching his opinions on others on a dime, is even asking for Levi's defense at all, is proof enough to me that even after everything Ace still wanted to cling onto the fantasy of their friendship he had built up in his mind. But upon hearing that Levi never cared about what happened to him, he can no longer do so. ...And why do I think Ace got attached to Levi so quickly?

(x) Ace: I was totally right all along to burn our friendship--No, I can't even call it it "Friendship." Ace: There's only one person in my whole life who I've ever been able to call my friend. That I ever thought, even for just a short time, that you and I were "friends" is an insult to his memory.

Yeah it's time to talk about this.

So for those who are not in the know, DT-Dev confirmed in a now-deleted ask that this friend of Ace's is named Taylor Riley.

(thank you to @/nicohakobyan / weightedblankett on twitter for providing this screenshot)

We know very little about this man other than his name, his gender, the fact that he was Ace's friend, and that he's dead. We don't actually know that fourth one, but I think "insult to his memory" speaks for itself lmao. As such, we do not know the details of his relationship with Ace... But I've made more out of less before, so let's get to talking. Here's what I think:

I think that Taylor was a presence in Ace's life much similar to how Levi was to him in Chapter 1: A strong protective figure that helped to make the scared-of-everything Ace feel a sense of safety. And then some form of incident happened that resulted in Taylor's death, leaving Ace alone, heartbroken, bitter, and terrified. That sense of security he once had was ripped away from him, and without Taylor, he doesn't know what to do with himself anymore.

And then in the killing game, he meets Levi, who provides him with a similar feeling of safety. Immediately he begins to project the memory of Taylor onto Levi and as such becomes attached, quickly considering Levi a friend because of it. And I'm not entirely pulling this idea that Ace was projecting Taylor onto Levi out of my ass, either.

Ace: dark blue/purple (reasoning: refuses to provide reasoning)

When we first got this answer, most people assumed this was referring to Levi, but I honestly think it is more likely that this is referring to Taylor. But those colors are still part of Levi's design, which automatically sets up a parallel between both Levi and Taylor Ace projected his relationship and the memory of Taylor onto a man he barely knew, and when that man lost his patience with him, his fantasy was swiftly kicked with the steel-toed shoe of reality. Hell, Ace's reaction after Levi snapped at him may had been due to his illusion of safety crumbling beneath him, but going down the road of this theory, Levi snapping at him might've been the first time Ace truly saw Levi and not Taylor. He had been giving this man a script and a role to play, and Levi responded by tearing up the paper and telling him to fuck off. In a sense, you could say that in that moment, Ace lost Taylor a second time.

Since I don't think Ace is going to be the killer as he was knocked out and thus did not have any knowledge of the murder mechanism (at least not including the theory that he tried to kill himself, which... Is a possibility, but I don't think that's the case). And if he does live past his chapter, I honestly think Chapter 3 will mark his breaking point. Any fantasy of Levi that he was clinging onto with his pinky has now shattered into pieces ten times over, the person who tried to kill him is still alive and for all he knows, could do it again whenever the hell they want to and people will take their side over his own. Next to no one in the cast likes him and they make that explicitly clear, and worse of all, he will still be trapped in this godforsaken...whatever facility this place is meant to be. So to cap off this section that got way too long, Ace Trauma Dump is on my Chapter 3 bingo card, and if we get to see Taylor and his design includes dark blue and purple I will actually become spaghettified. Please survive Ace, you are finally starting to become not C-Tier

Hu and Veronika

Lumping these two together because I have about the same amount to say about both of them and their secrets were revealed together. Hu's secret is the Hopeless Child one, and Veronika's is the Self Harm one. I think after CH2 Part 1 most of us predicted as such, but it's still very satisfying to be right. What I'm more interested is this supposed pact that they made off-screen. I have to assume that Veronika went to Hu pretty quickly to reveal her secret to her given her general disinterest in topics of suicide and self harm. So I'd wager this pact was probably made at around CH2-5. Not that that really tells us much about the actual conversation, but it's nice to have a time-frame for reference.

I don't expect the actual conversation to be shown because from what we currently have it doesn't really add much of anything, but it would definitely be cool.

(x) Hu: I've been quite selfish this whole time, keeping my secret because I didn't want you all to think less of me...

I've said this before in this post, but I absolutely believe that David eventually coaxed and pressured Hu into revealing her secret to him, as well as why she kept it for so long. And I also think David implanted, or I guess more accurately watered the seed in Hu's head that she was inherently selfish for not sharing her secret. That, I think we would benefit from a flashback, but maybe I'm just biased because I desperately want Hu lore. Please DT-Dev, I'm on my knees Hmm... what else?

(x) Veronika: After all, my own so-called secret isn't even the worst thing I've done. Isn't that so utterly disappointing for this motive?

Oh yeah there's that. What the fuck, Veronika? Like, I feel like this is something I should've expected this, but for some reason I didn't. I'll be honest here, I really have nothing right now. But whatever Veronika is referring to here, I feel like it has something to do with her 'dearest friend' mentioned in the CH2 Q&A (who's name is Alyssa Belyaeva.) What Veronika actually did? I do not have the slightest clue, you can never know with this girl. But no matter what she did, I will probably love her even more for it. Glad that DT-Dev seems to agree with the precedence of supporting women's wrongs.

Teruko

...So I'm glad to see we're all in agreement that that is not her fucking secret. I mean, I'm sure it applies to her. She is an orphan, her parents are out of the picture, and though we don't know the whereabouts of her brother and neither does she, she most likely assumes he's dead as well. But honestly, given the fact that again this is not her fucking secret, I'm starting to wonder if that's really the case... Can Teacher Tawaki theory still live on? I'll save that for another post.

Anyway what was I talking about? Oh yeah, that is not her fucking secret.

And this little bitch knows that for a fact.

I won't go too deep into this because there have already been people discussing it better than I could, but this silent agreement the two of them have to not share Teruko's true secret is so palpable and interesting to me. David knows that Teruko's secret isn't that, but for whatever reason, he is keeping his mouth shut. And he just gives Teruko that shit-eating smirk. Have I ever mentioned how much I love Teruvid? I fucking love Teruvid. But yeah, I still think 100% that Teruko's secret is that the killing game is all her fault. It just does not make sense for Xander and Min's secrets to belong to anyone other than each other as they are dead. And in general it just makes sense for Teruko's character and her role in the story. And I can't help but feel like Teruko's actual secret will be revealed at the end of the Chapter.

Eden

... I mean. Do I really need to say more? I swear I made this exact joke in the previous thoughts post, but I can't help it. It applies perfectly to this CG. When this CG, this fucking JUMPSCARE of a CG, popped up on my screen, I'm pretty sure I ran around in a circle screaming in my room for a total of ten minutes. The first of two times I would do that during this masterfully crafted scene. I want to think of some kind of insightful analysis, but the truth is basically in your face. Eden was the one who gouged out Xander's eye. Why did she do it? Where does this fit into the overall lore? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW What the fuck am I supposed to say? This CG is basically all we have, and we'll definitely have to wait for more information. Especially since Eden is totally the culprit, but we'll get to that in the predictions section. (yeah if you can't tell my writing juice is starting to run out, but if I get this out any later than today I will kill myself)

David

(...for a scumbag, he's kinda cute.) So first of all, David is slowly becoming the funniest character in the cast in my opinion, which is a huge achievement in a cast full of very funny characters. And in general I think as a character he perfectly captures DRDT's general tone of half-and-half both silliness and angst, like yin and yang. Secondly though, the big thing that David did in this chapter (besides keeping Teruko's secret and being funny) is lying to Eden about the rest of the conversation he had with Arei. Ultimately, I think David himself saw that action as a good deed.

Think of it from his perspective: This is a man who has had hope and change presented to him on a silver platter multiple times, and then had it violently ripped away from him. And the most recent example of that, Arei, presented him with a better future and the possibility of change only to be killed upon trying to act on said change. If he told Eden that Arei still had hope, that she still wanted to change, it would aspire Eden with that same hope that in his eyes is destined to crash down on her. So instead of inflicting that same pain onto her, he instead chose to say nothing at all Maybe I'm giving David too much credit, what he did was still at the end of the day, incredibly dickish. But that interpretation is what makes the most sense to me personally. That's all I really have to say in regards to David... So, let's move onto what was, in my opinion, the star of this week's episode.

Arei

Arei Nageishi.... Ohhhh save me Arei Nageishi.... Arei was already one of my favorite characters in the cast due to her personality, design, voice acting, and most of all the character development she had throughout the course of Chapter 2. But this episode, this scene... It cemented her a well-earned spot in my top four, sitting only behind Whit, Teruko, and David.

The flashback scene of Arei and David in this episode is honestly up there with some of the best scenes in the whole show to me, almost solely because of how it caps off Arei as a character postmortem, and the story that she, along with Chapter 2 as a whole, is meant to tell. This whole chapter has been themed around the idea of what classifies a good person, and this flashback scene provides such a great payoff to that theme and it is everything I could've ever wished for. The message I got from Arei's story is that, ultimately, the idea of a "Good Person" and a "Bad Person" are nothing more than just that. Ideas. And in being ideas, they are above anything else, arbitrary, subjective, and at the end of the day, incredibly meaningless when it comes to discussing actual human beings. Insistence on categorizing yourself and the people around you into boxes of "pure saint that can do no wrong" and "irredeemable demon who will burn in the pits of hell" is a fast track to viewing a complicated, colorful world into a few shades of black and white. That's how David views the world, and has viewed the world probably for years. And I'm going to be honest and say that I think before being confronted with the truth of David's actions, Arei was heading right down the same path that he had headed.

(x) Arei: Of course I wanted to change myself. Who wants to be a grab-bag of negative personality traits? There's not even anything positive you could say about me. Arei: Still, for the longest time, I thought it was stupid to even try. I'm rotten to the core, and I might as well be a different species from saints like Eden and you. Arei: A pig never hopes to grow up into a human, because it knows that such a metamorphosis is impossible.

And this is the line that really, really makes me think that. She calls David and Eden saints because (up until this moment) she viewed both of them as the ideal of what makes a good person, similar to how David views Xander. And on the contrast, claims herself to be rotten to the core, ontologically evil with no redemption in sight. She's even performing David's habit of self-dehumanization, likening herself to a pig in the same way David likens himself to a cat in the LGI video, which goes to show how this mindset of black-and-white is, above all else, a dehumanizing view on the human race that relegates people into cardboard boxes with the flaps taped shut. If she didn't find out the truth of David's actions, I am confident that she would've done down the same path that he did, becoming convinced that she will be a terrible person until the day she dies because she cannot reach this worthless standard of a good person that she has set up in her head. But we know that's not how it goes. Arei does realize that the man she once thought of as a saint might be, in his words, a lying manipulative scumbaggy piece of shit. And upon realizing that, the second half of the message unlocks itself. There is no such thing as irredeemability.

Change is a part of being human. Humans are not built to run in a hamster wheel for the rest of their days, reliving their mistakes over and over again wallowing in their self-hatred and guilt. Eventually, they have to get off the wheel and start taking the steps necessary to grow, change, develop and flourish to properly better themselves. (This applies to yourself just as much as it applies to the worst, most depraved individual you know by the way) The alternative is living in a four-by-four black box of self-loathing and relentless stagnancy, which is not productive for the person or the people they've hurt. It is only when you reject these black-and-white categories of "Good Person" and "Bad Person" and accept that no matter what you've done, you're capable of becoming better, that you can achieve true growth and change. The way this message was executed, especially through a character that dies before the halfway point of the story, is something that I marvel at as an aspiring storyteller. DRDT's beating heart will always be its character writing, and this scene is one of the primary examples of that. Thank you, DT-Dev, for making Arei Nageishi and the rest of your amazing cast of characters. :D

Extra Thoughts !!! - FURUYA FANDOM (me) THE TRACK PLAYED LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO!!! - I am very excited to find out more about Nico's attempted murder given all of the questions surrounding it. If the method of murder really was replicated, and Nico wasn't the culprit themself, you guys should take a wild guess who that implicates. (this is probably obvious by this point, but I really don't believe in the theories that suggest that someone other than Nico was responsible for Ace's attempted demise, be it Hu or Ace himself. I feel like it doesn't line up with the current narrative direction that Nico seems to be going in, the physical evidence of them stealing the turpentine, and...I'm gonna be honest, I just don't like it lmao. I'm sure DT-Dev would do it well, but just as a premise I do not favor it. Nico's attempted murder + subsequent regret from it felt like such a big moment in the chapter's narrative in relation to the themes of All That Glitters and the cast revealing sides to themself that weren't as prevalent before, as well as the themes of change and moving on from the past littered all throughout the chapter. I think if Nico's attempted murder was responsible by anyone but Nico, it would just dampen the impact of their overall story for me. That's just me though.) - WE FINALLY GOT ANOTHER NONSTOP DEBATE LETS GO BOYS!!! Nonstop debates I MISSED you - "Hey why does Whit know so much about hangi--" Look. This man is so unbelievably suspicious in every single way that for the sake of my sanity, I'm just gonna assume DT-Dev chose a random character to give the hanging explanation. It is the only way I will survive this chapter - But hey, at least we got this

- As always, I adore the new sprites we got this episode, especially Ace's new ones. It's probably the first sprite of his that actually appears emotionally vulnerable when he's not bleeding profusely from the neck. And of course, I loved David's shit-eating grin towards Teruko, I hope he never changes. - Speaking of Teruko, us getting Tutor Teruko was lovely. She is perfect, she is a little bit of everything all of the time.

(x) Whit: If you're so inclined to complain, Sir Light Pollution, why don't you try and think of some good evidence? Charles: Light pollution? Whit: You know… Cuz he had stars, and now he doesn't, and light pollution makes stars disappear… or… or… something….. Charles: I am truly impressed…by how bad that was.

- I love these dorks so much. I can tell DT-Dev has a lot of fun writing them.

- Teronika Consent animation! I guess after Acevi's Soap Opera, DT-Dev decided to feed the yuri crowd as well. Love it when we get to see those little sprite animations, too.

Predictions for CH2-14 - The episode is 40 minutes long, the longest episode we have had so far. (40 minutes of DRDT content... I'm excited just thinking about it!) Because of that, I think I will just start with my biggest prediction: I think we're getting the culprit reveal this chapter. I don't think that just because of the length either. When you really look at it, we have basically used every piece of evidence at least once with the exception of three: - The conditions of the gym (which I assume will be discussed next) - The scuffs on the ground - The ball of starchy clothes All three of those pieces of evidence I think can definitely be cleared up in the span of 40 minutes, especially since full focus is now on the murder case. I don't necessarily think the trial will end in this episode, but I think we have at least one more trial episode to go before the post-trial + execution + ending of the chapter. - And as the culprit reveal is approaching, I have formulated a tier list of who I think is least - most likely to be Arei's culprit. I will provide my reasoning for each.

No. 17/16 - Xander Matthews + Min Jeung I mean, what it says on the tin. They're dead, and thus couldn't had committed the murder. No. 15/14 - MonoTV + Arei Nageishi There are explicit rules against them being the culprit. Rule 8 and Rule 11 in particular. No. 13 - Teruko Tawaki She is the protagonist. Didn't stop Kaede, but I highly doubt that's where DT-Dev is going. No. 12 - David Chiem Other than the previous five who I've all disqualified from being the culprit, David is probably the character I suspect the least. He has an alibi for the time of the murder, getting breakfast with J and Veronika, and thematically...well, he's basically being set up as the antagonist. I don't think we'll be rid of him this early lmao. No. 11 - Charles Cuevas Charles has a fear of blood and dead bodies, and though I wouldn't say that completely disqualifies him from becoming a culprit in the future, in a case like this with such a complicated mechanism like this where he'd have to be in very close proximity with the body at all times? I highly doubt it. He also has an alibi for the fish (He was with Whit). No. 10 - J Rosales J both has an alibi for the fish (Arturo following her around), and an alibi for the morning (getting breakfast with David and Veronika), and both of those alibis can be confirmed. I don't think she did this. No. 9 - Veronika Grebenshchikova I'll be honest, I really don't see Veronika committing a murder at all. She clearly wants to see this through to the end, and killing someone would come with the risk of her being executed, which I don't think she would see as a satisfying conclusion to her story. That, combined with the fact that she has an alibi for the fish (bothering Teruko) and an alibi for the murder (getting breakfast with David and J) makes me think she didn't do this. No. 8 - Nico Hakobyan You might think it's weird to place Nico this low on the overall tier-list despite them not having an alibi for the fishes, and their morning alibi being...somewhat flimsy but I'll get to that with Hu, but here's my logic. Nico was driven to attempt murder from very specific circumstances. That being, Ace's relentless bullying and abuse towards them. Nico has said before that they'd understand murder if the perpetrator didn't like the victim, and while I don't think they exactly liked Arei, I do not think they harbor the same animosity towards her as they did towards Ace. I truly believe that Nico would only ever resort to murder if they truly despised the person in question and saw no other solution. So that is why I feel comfortable placing Nico at eighth. No. 7 - Hu Jing Hu is also another character that I think some will be surprised to see so low, but I don't think this was her doing. She has an alibi for the fish (cleaning up with Eden), and though again her alibi in the morning is very flimsy (having tea with Nico in the morning,) I do believe she is telling the truth because if she was lying about her alibi, I think the brutally blunt Nico would call her out for it. I'm sorry, I just simply cannot imagine Nico letting that shit slide regardless of how many theories I read. Not to mention I can't really think of a motive for why she would kill Arei specifically when, if she really did want to kill someone, Ace is right there. No. 6 - Whit Young Whit is supremely fucking suspicious and a lot of his behavior in the trial is literal shenanigans, even more so given the fact that he doesn't have an alibi for the actual murder. But he does have an alibi for the fish (again, he was with Charles) which is the main sticking point of Whit!Culprit. His other sticking point is his lack of motive, both in terms of the secrets and Arei specifically. I don't know like- just look at this man, do you think he did this? /joke

No. 5 - Levi Fontana The number one suspect in the fandom for a while, and he's only at number five. He ultimately lacks an alibi for the morning, and his alibi for the fish was that he was doing his laundry... With no one else around. Shady as fuck. But I think given his principles discussed in this episode ("it is a good thing to make sure someone else doesn't die"), and the genuine desire to be helpful he has expressed throughout this trial, I think him being the culprit is unlikely. That's why I was adamant on him being an accomplice for a while because I still thought he had some role in the case, but oh well. No. 4 - Rose Lacroix I'll be honest, Rose is only this high because her alibi situation is worse than Whit's and Levi's combined. Both of her alibis are that she was sleeping in her room, which cannot be proven and can be very easily lied about. But other than that, I don't think she is the culprit. I think this case requires too many physical maneuvers for someone as lethargic as Rose to pull off successfully, and if she were the culprit I don't think she'd bring attention to the missing grippy tape at all. No. 3 - Arturo Giles Arturo does have an alibi for the fish (following J), but does not have an alibi for the morning. Unlike basically every other character here, something else that puts Arturo above them is that he was capable of overhearing Eden and Arei's conversation and forging the note. But there is also a discrepancy present that is also present with every character here, and that is the fact that Arturo did not witness Nico's attempted murder or the condition of Ace's body and the gym, so there was no way he could've replicated the murder method used for Ace on Arei. So though logistically he is a more likely possibility, I don't think it was him. No. 2 - Ace Markey Ace, to me anyway, is the second most likely candidate to being Arei's killer. He does not have an alibi for the fish and could've very easily grabbed them after David and Arei left the Relaxation Room, and he doesn't have an alibi for the morning either. He has a very clear motivation for taking a chance at killing someone, of "someone literally sliced my neck open not two days ago and I know I am not safe here I need to get the fuck out." If you choose to factor in strength, Ace is one of the strongest members of the cast and would be more than capable of the physical maneuvers made to kill Arei. Though I personally don't believe in this theory, if you think Ace attempted suicide instead of Nico trying to kill him, he has the murder method down lock too because he tried to commit it onto himself. He has been shown to be nosy, so it is not improbable that he listened in on Arei and Eden's conversation. And lastly, he is one of the only two suspects who was capable of stealing the grippy tape that was used in the murder. All of the evidence is practically stacked against him... But there are a couple of problems. One, if you believe that Nico did try to kill Ace, than the point about Ace knowing the exact method of death goes out the window. He was knocked out by the turpentine, and woke up in extreme pain in a blinding fury of rage and bloodlust, I don't think his surroundings would be the first thing on his mind. But a much bigger issue we have is the question of... Why would Ace take the tape? Following this theory, his murder plan wouldn't had started until the day after Nico's attempt on his life, it would make no sense for him to take the tape then. These two sticking points are why, though a likely candidate, I do not think Ace is the culprit. That award of main suspect goes to...

No. 1 - Eden Tobisa Yeah, if you've spent any time on this account you probably know I'm an Eden!Culprit truther. There are many well-written posts about this theory that I'm sure you've seen so I'll try to keep this short, but though the theory does have a few flaws to it, the big one being Eden's alibi for the fish that she was cleaning up with Hu, I think Eden being the culprit makes the most sense from an evidence, thematic, and motive standpoint. I know some people have dropped the theory upon the fork reveal, but DRDT is not unbeknownst to killing off characters with certain mysteries left unanswered. That is basically all for my predictions related to the culprit, but I still have some predictions for the overall episode. - Nico's gonna get placed in the hot-seat, obviously, which will definitely cause a reaction out of both Hu and Ace. And I honestly feel like the two of them are going to keep interrupting Nico until they eventually snap. And I hope that happens honestly because unless you count the "I'll kill you" line, we have yet to see or hear Nico when they're actually angry angry. Nico obviously doesn't like conflict, but they might have to get over that if they actually want to defend themself knowing the other two. - I'm still holding out hope we'll get a Random Guess segment lmao - And lastly: I need Whit to break the forth wall at least once I didn't put that on the bingo card for fucking NOTHING

Conclusion I'm gonna be completely honest, I do not have the energy to write anymore and I just want this out lmao. But overall, this was one of my favorite episodes in the whole series. I loved the Levi and Ace stuff, I like that we now have all the secrets, and like I said, the scene with Arei is probably one of my favorite scenes in the show. CH2-14 is going to be a wild ride I can already tell, and if we do find out who the killer is, you will see me screaming. Regardless of if it's Eden lmao.

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS CH2-13

UPDATED BINGO CARD

[storytellering]

Do you think DMC has a incestuous subtext? I am kind of new to the franchise (and also the fandom... Which isn't really respectful that I can see) and I want to know if I am not the only one who thinks that it's pretty obvious why the ships between DVN have many believers.

First of all, welcome to DMC, anon! And OH BOY, you'll definitely find that that's the majority opinion, at least within the Spardacest circles - honestly, most "normie" circles too. Every grass-touching, non-internet poisoned dudebro I've ever met and talked dmc with has made one or two incest jokes at me about it, definitely noting how the rivalry between the twins is very charged - the only people I've found who flat out deny it are the antis. To go more in depth about the actual subtext there - well, one should start with the roots of dmc in dmc1, right? DMC1 is definitely a gothic game - it's everywhere in the aesthetics, the inspirations, the imagery and the environment, and what is gothic horror without the incest? The initial incest in Kamiya's dmc, before Itsuno stepped in, was definitely obvious in Dante and Trish (who I'm pretty sure according to kamiya at least were supposed to be endgame) - and like, c'mon. You can say all you want that she only looks like his mom, she isn't actually Eva, she doesn't even have her personality... but from a moral perspective, that's still weird as fuck if we're going by real life standards, right? You wouldn't fuck a clone of your mom without it being at least a little bit incestuous.

Then Itsuno stepped in from 3 on, and the incestuous undertones became more focused on the immediate Sparda family - the twins, and eventually, Nero.

...Do I need to even explain it? Sure, in 3 the twins bicker and banter like real brothers, but there's definitely a suggestive edge to it - so many quips between them that really cannot be explained by "oh haha brotherly banter" without it getting at least a little bit weird. Not to mention all the "impalement as penetration" comparisons that can be drawn, and I'll leave a nice little video that goes deeper into a lot of that (as well as the gothic inspirations in the dmc franchise) so you can hear it from the mouth of someone far more eloquent than me.

And then in 4... I mean, if the amount of people who almost ubiquitously shipped Dante and Nero as soon as 4 dropped and continued doing so until 5 officially confirmed their relation (which, to be fair, Nero being Dante's nephew had actually been hinted at all along, but exactly because of so many people shipping them and not wanting it to be incestuous/the dudebros not liking Nero very much when 4 was new, pretty much everyone in the english speaking side of the fandom had been in denial about it until 5 spelled it out in big, bold letters) is kind of the test, no? That the tension and chemistry is so obvious the moment the incest element is hidden or unclear, everyone is suddenly in agreement about it. I could go on and on and on about Nero's obvious puppy crush/hero worship on Dante, Dante's immediate fondness of Nero, how if you read the 4 novels it's even more blatant and in your face... but all I'm gonna say is that that initial fight scene was softcore porn and no one can convince me otherwise, lmao. Listen, I'm just saying that if the intention wasn't to be suggestive, having Nero wrap his legs around Dante to pull him closer, bite his gun, and then straddle him like that was a very poor choice. Honorable mention for the reboot, whose devs were VERY aware of the tension between the Spardas in the og franchise, called it out by saying their game wasn't gonna do "all that gay shit" (obviously in the early 2010s the issue wasn't the incest, but it being GAY incest 🙄) and then accidentally made their version of the twins SO very....... whatever the hell is going on with the reboot twins. Not not-incestuous and definitely not straight, I'll tell you that.

And then 5, again. Do I need to explain it? Nero and V are, once again, a perfect textbook example of "couple that had so much natural chemistry everyone was flocking to it before it was revealed to be incest", plus the way everything about Dante's story, at the end, now that he's a weathered old man, is made to revolve around Vergil... yes, Dante is a depressed old alcoholic because he pushed everyone away, because of the laundry list of issues he ended up with because of everything that happened in his life, BUT Vergil was always front and center within it, even when he wasn't there. That Dante's story quite literally begins and ends with Vergil... well. I dunno about you, that just doesn't feel like your regular siblings dynamic. Also another honorable mention: "I'll make you submit" is a totally normal thing to say to your estranged father. Not weird at all with absolutely zero implications. OH, not to mention, even if we stay purely within canon and don't even look deeper at any implications or subtext... the literal only canon couple is incestuous, too. Let's not forget Kyrie and Nero are adopted siblings, Nero was raised as her brother, and the game itself calls it out in the character descritption (in 4's character bios it says Kyrie is at once Nero's "lover and family") + it's quite literally spelled out in the novels (having Nero think that "well, while it's true that he's been raised with Kyrie as siblings, he would've liked her even if they weren't family"). There's SO much more I could still go into, I have quite literally spent the past 3 years replaying the games over and over and overthinking/hyperanalizing every single frame, rereading the novels and the mangas to the point I could cite them by memory, and it's just... I dunno. I saw someone else say this somewhere, but if you're into DMC and grossed out by incest... this might not be the franchise for you.

[not-too-many-eyes]

A Study on Mesmer Jr.

(Also Known As: Nott is obsessed with the bigot autistic girl from the time travel gacha game and its her birthday tommorow so lets talk about her.)

(CWs: Ableism, racism, child abuse) I Love Mesmer Jr. Which isn't a secret to any of my friends who have had to listen to me talk about her at length. I cannot get her out of my head. I think she's fantastically written, fun to read about, and just an all around interesting character.

As such, I want to take a moment to pull apart Mesmer Jr, and consider her place in this story. To contemplate why she acts the way she does, and to connect to the themes relating to her character. I hope you enjoy reading this.

A Curious Impression

Mesmer Jr makes an interesting impression when you first meet her. For one, she immediately causes alarm bells to rings when she talks to Sonneto, one of her earliest conversations, who she says she enjoys talking to because of their "shared values" she feels the need to say that she would have liked talking to her more if she were a "full-blooded human."

Which is something that you see a lot whenever she's complimenting an arcanist, or considering arcanists in any positive light. Even if it's inappropriate in the context, she feels the need to assert her beliefs, to say that:

Mesmer Jr, Praise: As an arcanist, your performance really amazes me. Wish you were a pure-blood human.

Of course, as we know, Mesmer Jr is an arcanist. She's a full-blooded arcanist. Being noted to be from a very Important family, and even being implied to be more talented than most of her family in their line of work: (The Fallacy of Idealism)

Nobody is more talented in this than Mesmer Jr. Her bloodline gives her outstanding ability and keen senses, which makes everything clear and intelligible to her.

She's also startlingly obedient. She has no noticeable outward negativity towards what Constantine has ordered her to do to Vertin, despite it seeming to cause pain or stress. Insisting that this is the normal treatment given to patients despite Madam Z's opinion, and we learn Much Later that her boss had an ulterior motive to all this.

She's even noted before we meet her to seem like a:

(Open Sandwich)

???: It is the other one- the one with indifferent outlines that makes her look like a refined machine.

Evoking images of perfectly programmed robots and droids that do what they are ordered to perfectly without question.

Of course, in the same part this line is from, the game is already nudging us to be open-minded when it comes to interacting with her. As the first thing we learn about her isn't her personality, isn't her appearance, isn't even her Voice.

It's her abuse.

Dirtied Hands

Open Sandwich is one of my favorite bits of writing in this game. It creates this incredible tension where you just waiting for the bad thing to happen, the line about how the child labor laws were turned into paper to wrap the sandwich is wonderful, and I love it.

But it's also the first time we ever actually hear about her. It depicts her having a Sensory Meltdown. Caused by her family's uh- blatant disregard for children's rights, and exposing her to a patient at age 12 because her skill was useful for the treatment. The trauma of the event marking the start of her "nightmare."

Of course this isn't the Only Thing she has gone through at the age of 12. The entire events of Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien happened during when she was 12. She might of had even more traumatic experience before that, considering she went to SPDM, a school that we know Very Well for their child abuse, and she Certainly had traumatic experiences afterwards.

She Is a 16 year old therapist taking care of The Foundation's most "unstable" patients, after all:

Mesmer Jr, Suitcase Climate: Those insane people screamed and rushed out of the guardroom. They kept meaninglessly and repeatedly roaring. Then, their blood shed on the snowy ground. I've seen that a lot.

The Rights of Children Don't Matter when there is Scarcity. Her needs are secondary to The Company's. Her welfare simply isn't important for the Foundation's Beautiful Future. Only the skills and infromation she can provide.

Constantine even manipulated Mesmer Jr into telling her the plan. Purposefully traumatizing her so that she would become scared and anxious. She Asked her to help them, trusting that Constantine, an adult she trusted, would be able to help. Constantine just lied, and made her continue to treat these people even when the experience mind numbingly traumatic for even fully-grown adults.

As a result, Mesmer Jr has developed multiple mental illnesses. Most notable OCD, but she seems to hallucinate in her Monologue.

She's not exactly a healthy person, which really compounds how much you Don't want her to be a therapist.

Of course, it's not like she would ever seek actual proper treatment for it.

For many reasons.

For one, Reverse 1999 is not exactly a kind world to the mentally ill, and she herself is a good example as to why.

Proper Treatment

Let's go back to the first thing I mentioned about Mesmer Jr. She's a bigot, she's a certified racist to every arcanist she ever talks to. She thinks humans are the superior race that will overtake arcanists.

She's also ableist. Just horrible ableist. These two bigotries are intertwined in Very important ways. Her hatred of arcanists is informed by her hatred of the mentally ill, and is further informed by what she has been taught about arcanists.

Reverse has established that the way arcanists and humans are generally viewed is that arcanists are the more emotional, unstable, immature ones and humans are the more logical, stable, and mature ones.

Now, this is a stereotype, one that has been proven wrong time and time again. There is nothing logical, stable, or mature about being so upset at a 12 year old you think killing her friends is a good idea.

And similarly, there is nothing actually inherently wrong about being a weirdo, or mentally ill. For one, uh, everyone is a bit of a freak sometimes, and two, Mesmer Jr treats it as if for the world to get better arcanists need to fully disappear and be replaced with human rationality, but Madam Hoffman says it best:

(Chapter 6 Part 15: With Hope Rekindled)

Hofmann: We have all heard it, humans are more rational and arcanists are more emotional. Hofmann: Their sensitive to the darkness of the world, so they can easily become absorbed in their own emotions and ignore reality Hofmann: But, if we put a human child in the position of an arcanist, who always takes on the world because of his uniqueness, who is never understood for his talents... Hoffmann: Maybe he too will become impulsive, sensitive immature and unstable Hoffmann: And that's why it sometimes dawns on me that if we put an arcanist child in the position of a human being who receives enough love, education, and positive feedback... Hoffmann: These 'instabilities' might be controllable. At least enough to keep them from hurting themselves or others.

But Mesmer Jr really does believe wholeheartedly that being a "freak" is bad, and that being an arcanist is to blame for why she is one.

Mesmer Jr, Hat and Hair: Thanks to it, we are all freaks now. Haven't you ever blamed your brain? Haven't you for once vomited due to the sound or whisper in your brain? How naive and ignorant.

That being an arcanist is something inherently wrong, and as a result of that inherent wrongness, that inherent "insanity," they need to be controlled by humanity.

Mesmer Jr, Chitchat II: I can only stand those arcanists from the Foundation and the Laplace. After all, their insanity is contained by humans.

She believes that humans are destined to overtake arcanists like it's natural selection. That it's only inevitable that arcanists will be overtaken by a species that in her eyes, is logical and understandable.

Mesmer Jr, To the Future: Just like Homo sapiens wiped out Neanderthals, arcanists will be eliminated as well. This is not a prediction, but a predestined fate.

This is, of course, due to the systemic part of Reverse's world constantly pushing this idea that arcanists are Inherently more immature and chaotic.

Constantine and her family deeply traumatized Mesmer Jr and then told her it wasn't actually their fault but this Other Group that She is also apart of but Don't Worry it can Be Controlled.

Mesmer Jr: It's not just about age. It was never going to be suitable for me. Mesmer Jr: Unless one day all the arcanists are gone. Pandora Wilson: Then you and I will be gone, too. Mesmer Jr: Exactly, along with the source of my pain

However, Mesmer Jr's own mental illnesses and susceptibility towards being overwhelmed by others emotions does really mean that she finds being around highly emotional people Taxing. She also finds that the unpredictable of life and other people Tiresome.

She was friends with Vertin in the rest when she was younger sure, but even then she did find arcanists overwhelming and "scary," even when she wasn't in the full thick of it, she saw them being treated and found it unpleasant and painful.

(Nouvelles et Textes pour Rien)

Mesmer Jr: But I'm not interested in arcanists. They are all mad people, and we had to treat them after all...They looked scary.

Now, usually, you grow out of this. She's not Born To Be Racist Forever.

In a better world she very much could have, I dunno-

Be able to actually internalize that arcanists aren't actually inherently a harmful thing, but that her needs sometimes conflict with the needs of others and grew up with the tools necessary to understand that this is a fixable problem that doesn't actually need a whole group of people including herself to die to be solved.

Or, something like that.

However, this isn't that world, this world thinks Mesmer Jr is a good therapist, and that her treatment is humane.

So she's seeks to create stability in the world as a result of that lack of support.

Mesmer Jr, Hobby: What you see is the alignment and tidiness. What I adore is this orderly state.

As much as she understands that it's a sign of her own "franticness" that she does this, it gives her comfort knowing that she has things that she Can Control. That her life isn't actually dictated fully by things out of her understanding. That she has the ability to direct her life in a small, maybe even insignificant way.

Cause, she really just doesn't have much control over her life.

Press the Button

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: ...Achieve the function.

A lot of Mesmer Jr's idolization of humanity comes from this idea of efficiency and simplicity. She talks so much about rationality and "tidiness," but as I've already established Reverse is full of so many instances of "human insanity" so it's plain ignorant to ascribe this trait to humans.

Which, well one she is ignorant, and also racism isn't rational and Mesmer Jr was taught human supremacy of course it's not going to be aligned with actual reality.

Which is true.

However, I do think it's interesting these traits that she idolizes are not from humans but from:

Mesmer Jr, Clothing and Torso: Humans are like machinery, simple and efficient. Arcanists are quite the opposite.

That's who she's actually idolizing here, isn't it? She's not really idolizing humans, that's just the framework she was given. She's idolizing machines and going "Wow humans are so cool."

Her Udimo is a machine.

Not just any machine, but a machine invented in part By Her Workplace, and even when she was 12 the narrator describes her as a "refined machine." Indifferent and rigid.

This is the beautiful controlled being that she is seeking! The beautiful tidy, orderly, calm being that just proceeds with whatever order is given to it. One that has...completely no control over it's life, and what to do with it.

Because, traditionally speaking, Machines do not have the ability to self-determine. They don't exist as people with conscious thought and emotion, but as Things and Tools that can Achieve Functions.

I noted way back in the start that Mesmer Jr is startlingly obedient. She does what she is told, and encourages others to do the same.

She's glad that Vertin:

Mesmer Jr, 100% Bond Conversation: ...Anyway, I'm glad you gave up on those insane plans.

Before saying that she doesn't want to be forced to Lobotomize Her, and that she doesn't actually want anyone to end up in Artificial Somnambulism.

But she doesn't say she won't do it. Just that she's happy Vertin did "give up" because it means that she probably won't have to. This seems to be her general approach. Even if she's not happy, she'll do it, her wants don't matter.

She assumes that she has no other option and that her only path forward is following orders from her boss. That the only path forward is the one set for her. There's no point in fighting it so she's just gonna continue on that path, and others should do the same or else they'll get Hurt. Learned Helplessness.

Sonetto is similar to her in this sense (Mesmer Jr says so herself,) and Sonetto is shown to hold quite a lot of repressed emotions, and to deviate from the rules or what is logical when she feels something is at stake.

After all: (Is ABA Really “Dog Training for Children”? A Professional Dog Trainer Weighs In.)

We all know that we can feel angry without expressing anger. That we can smile when inside we are crying. You can stop someone from expressing an emotion, but that doesn’t make the emotion go away. A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.” When you read about a dog attack that came “out of nowhere” and “without warning,” it is because this sort of method was used to handle “problem behaviours.” Studies show that dogs trained with these sorts of methods actually have an increased rate of aggression, because punishing aggressive behaviour doesn’t deal with the underlying fear and anxiety that caused the aggression in the first place.

But Mesmer Jr, in contrast to Sonetto, who has an interest in poetry and curiosity in the outside world and has the aforementioned repressed emotions. Has no real distinct personal identity. She does not own anything that shows her interests, unlike her other coworkers who usually have at least Something on them. All of her items are stuff made by Laplace and exist unaltered. Even her cute little headband is a EM amplifier is part of the uniform.

She holds no control, no identity, no agency. She exists as a machine that someone can press the buttons of and achieve whatever function she needs to achieve at the given moment.

This is her current state of existence, and it's not something that's exactly sustainable. The cracks in this machine-living have been showing since she was 12. How many more do you think have been created now that she's 16?

The Foundation

Now, this is really depressing, but that's because Mesmer Jr is just a bit of a depressing character. She can't really get away from her job. For one, her parents are horrible, two The Storm means that the world is always on the verge of ending. Where else will she go?

But, as said previously:

A dog who has been trained not to growl is considered by trainers to be a “time bomb dog.”

Similarly, a girl trained to not develop any sort of identity will crack Someday.

I have no knowledge of what could happen next in her story, nor am I interested in theorizing about it. But I do find it interesting to think about.

[daftdrac]

If you were in a conversation, what topic would you like to talk about? :D

Something X-Men related, probably specifically anything deadpool or wolverine (Deadpool isn't exactly X-Men but I'm counting him cause he's also a part of this hyperfixation) anyways I LITERALLY GOT THIS NOTIFICATION WHILE IM WATCHING THE WOLVERING AND THE XMEN CARTOON LMAOOO Yeah I'm super into. X-Men shit right now because I watched Deadpool 3 and my brain said YES. THAT. I am absolutely taking this as an opportunity to rant by the way cause there is so much random shit about this show that has me giggling. Errrmmm spoiler warning I guess ?

FIRST OF ALL LOGANS VOICEEEEEVEVEVDBDBE 👹👹👹 I'm not one to simp for fictional characters (lie) but I'm down bad JUST because of the voice (also lie im down bad for a lot of reasons)

ALSO THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF LOVE INTERESTS HE HAS IN THIS. JEAN, (KINDA-ISH) WHO DOESN'T SHOW UP UNTIL EPISODE 23 OF 26??? SOME RANDOM JAPANESE WOMAN WHO'S MARRIED TO A SAMURAI?? SOME ALIEN-MUTANT-THING WOMAN WHO WORKED WITH HIM AND WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND BEFORE HE LOST HIS MEMORIES OR SOMETHING ?? Emma kinda but not really she's not an explicit love interest but you can kinda tell it's a little implied at some points. I definitely am forgetting a few my memory is still shit but A BISEXUAL CHARACTER AND NOT A MALE LOVE INTEREST IN SIGHT <3 thats why Cyclops is here. He's supposed to be kind of a romantic rival to Logan kinda (cause they both like jean or whatever idk it REALLY doesn't seem like Logan likes jean all that much but I guess he does) but it really just ends in them having tension that feels less like they despise each other and more like they're waiting for everyone to leave them alone so they can go at it so I'm counting Scott even if he isn't like OFFICALLY a love interest he basically is

Oh also gambit is a thing for like 2 episodes. All he does is cause issues which. Gambit core I guess idk much about him 💀 all I know is he is REALLY like. Cunning and confident and shit. Tryin to think of the word. CHARMING yeah he's charming. Or supposed to be I guess he looks a little funny so he just makes me giggle looking at him. Honestly if he wanted to fuck Logan he could probably convince him to buy he's in love with one of magneto's daughters or whatever?? That he met for like a few hours and kissed once?? Before being thrown in a cell for kissing magneto's daughter??? And then abandoning her after promising to take her away from genosha with him?? I don't even know man.

Anyways I'm a complete noob X-Men fan I literally didn't know jack shit about anyone but Logan before I started watching this. Already a hardcore wolverine/cyclops fan they're gay to be fr with you. I should read some of the comics huh. Anyways here's my live reaction to Logan and Scott interacting like normal people:

Also silly goofy images from this show no I'm not sorry 3/4 are Logan he's BABYGIRL in this okay

Here have a poolverine meme to end this post

[nevermorgue]

ms hayley ! !! do you have hc's for how eulalie would interact with the misfit's cast? I feel like she'd get along with them all save for Montresor and will but I need eulalie content 🙏🏻

omg hiii. I think you meant to say annabel’s team because you brought up monty but I GOT YOU. I got you.

With Annabel

- Annabel finds her very odd. She is a bit bothered by how unpredictable Eulalie can be with her blunt words and tendency to not properly understand all social cues. Annabel Lee is a woman used to talking to people that are playing the game she is, so this is not something she is used to. - Eulalie is very perceptive, much to Annabel Lee's dismay. She notices when Annabel is mildly irritated by the way her eyebrows shift on her face. - Eulalie asks Annabel to give her doll curls like her. She does not (and cannot). - Annabel is horrified to see Eulalie putting two different tea bags into one cup. She wants to see what the flavors taste like together. - Eulalie isn't terrible at chess. Not on Annabel's level, but she doesn't mind playing against her. - Eulalie asks her one day why she's mean. Annabel simply responds with "Think me mean if you wish, I am simply surviving." Then Eulalie says something like "What is the point in surviving if you're all alone by the end?" She bites her tongue. She cannot tell Eulalie that she will never be alone as long as she has Lenore.

With Ada

- Honestly I think this could go both ways.

- Ada calls her creepy and finds her weird, but she doesn’t really dislike her company.

- Eulalie thinks she’s pretty! She likes touching Ada’s hair bow.

- Asks to borrow said hair bow. Ada only agrees because someone wanting to look like her NEVER happens.

- Ada is jealous of her singing voice.

- Eulalie mentions something about the length of the small intestine and Ada feels sick She just remembers an ax to the stomach.

- Eulalie tells her that she’s pretty a lot and Ada gets kinda mad bc she assumes Eulalie is lying to her because of her tone/the way she speaks.

- “Why would you think you’re not pretty?”

“Empty flattery will not get you anywhere with me!”

“It’s not empty. It’s quite full, really. You are pretty.”

- And she just struggles to believe it internally because compared to Annabel she doesn’t really feel pretty. But of course she just haughtily laughs and goes like “I know! Finally, you took notice!”

With Prospero - An unlikely duo. Eulalie is interested in his medical knowledge. He is mildly concerned about how much she knows about the human body despite having no medical career. - Eulalie's humming kinda reminds him of his mother. He'd rather die than say that. - She claims that he is mean too, but not as mean as Annabel. He takes mild offense. - She tries to curl a piece of her hair around her finger and put it in front of her face to copy his hairstyle. - Reading buddies. She'll blurt out a random fun fact about bones or something and he'll nod and add one of his own. Freaks. - Eulalie insists that when he's with her, all the "survival games" are set aside. She can tell it stresses him out. His hands tense up when he holds objects, and it's obvious even with the gloves. He's a jaw clencher too. With Montresor - As good as you'd expect it to be, really. - He calls her 'little miss' because she's anything but little. She literally would not care if it were anyone else but him. - He yanks at her sleeves because they're long and easy to grab. - "Why is everyone with great hair so mean?" "Aw, that's real kind of ya to say, little miss." "You’re horrible.”

- He tries to like intimidate her with close contact but she’s almost his height. Plus, she just doesn’t respond to that sort of thing.

- I think they’d be really interesting actually. He’s been compared to the devil, is considered demonic…and she has an interest in the occult. Imagine that.

With Will

- Honestly, not as bad as you might first think.

- She sort of pities him, but not really. He knows the choices he makes are bad.

- She’s happy to share things with him if he stares for a while. He’ll never dare ask for something, just kinda stare like a puppy until it’s offered. She won’t be cruel for no reason.

- She actually likes hearing about his writing journals.

- Will starts to instinctively study her face and body to learn how to become her even though he has no reason to. She can tell by the way he mumbles her words after she speaks sometimes.

- They’ll be sitting in silence and she’ll suddenly ask him what his loneliness feels like. Like uncomfortable questions that he can’t/doesn’t want to answer. But his reaction is enough of an answer.

- Allows him to turn into her so she can braid his hair.

[middlingmay]

Buck x Marge meet Gale HCs

What if it was Bucky and Marge who were together, and they both meet Buck?

Bucky and Marge have been together for maybe 6-9 months when he signs up to the Air Force. They're pretty smitten with each other, but also drive each other all kinds of crazy. Know all the buttons to push when they want to be annoying or get a rise out of the other.

They both like things a little lively, so hey.

Bucky enlists and all his letters to Marge are full of "my buddy Buck". She learns he has eyes like the morning sky, hair like the golden fields back home, a voice people jump to obey, lips like a dame, and a jawline that could cut glass.

"Hey!" he writes one day. "He's a lot like you! That's why we get on so well!"

And Bucky might be obtuse but Marge knows that isn't how most fellas talk about their buddles. But it amuses her more than anything else: her man's got himself a crush. She makes Bucky promise to introduce them sometime.

Almost immediately upon meeting John, Gale is regaled about his "little spitfire" at home, Marge. Mostly through John telling Gale how Marge and him are a lot alike, and he isn't quite sure how that makes him feel.

Especially when Bucky is so handsy and flirty and Gale definitely doesn't hate it. He leans into it, relishes it, anticipates it. Until Bucky mentions Marge again and something in Gale deflates and he pulls back.

There's a dance on, and Marge makes the trip and Bucky's so excited for them to meet. But Gale dreads it. Bucky already pushes it when he dances with girls at the bar, never taking it too far, and it makes Gale feel like crawling into a hole. He can't imagine what it'll be like when Bucky has his actual girl to fondle.

Then it's 100 times worse when he meets Marge because she's drop dead gorgeous and sweet and keeps John in line effortlessly, and Gale sits there, sipping his ginger beer, losing his goddamn mind about the fact he's jealous of both his best friend and his best friend's girlfriend.

Meanwhile Bucky and Marge are on the dance floor and Marge whispers in Bucky's ear that she knows about his crush and ho boy does she get it. And she wouldn't be adverse to getting to know Gale a little better.

And Bucky kind of just wants to drop to his knees in front of this woman because how perfect could she get?? But she's got that glint in her eye, and Bucky's never backed down from it yet.

"You like him?" He asks and Marge just bites her lip the way she knows gets him a little crazy. The way Buck bites his lips too.

"Then how about a little competition?"

That sparks the tinder in Marge’s eye. "What did you have in mind?"

"Whoever gets Buck to break first, gets first fuck? But no solo time! No way I'm missing out on that spectacle if you win."

"Oh, John," she says, glacing back over to Gale who's very busy looking like he's not watching them. "When I win."

[cdroloisms]

a little ramble about dreblr, meta, and the ever evolving nature of this fandom, i guess?

i don't mean to soapbox, this is mostly just going to be vomiting some thoughts into a post. some recent stuff and a post or two have had me thinking about this fandom and how different it is from when dsmp was ongoing. it's,, pretty obvious that the fandom is quite a bit smaller and less active than that time, and there are generally a lot fewer people actively posting meta and such every day--which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and is natural obviously considering that the dsmp ended almost 2 years ago, but does mean that the culture around (?) meta and such has shifted, as well. it's one of those things too i think that is felt so much more obviously in dreblr, which is an even smaller group within this fandom that formed in response to uhhh being very much considered unwelcome by the greater fandom at the time.

that being said, as is the nature of all fandom, dreblr is still a community of people who are largely strangers who have gathered together because of one commonality: very strong feelings and often very strong opinions on the dream smp and c!dream. and i think when the fandom was more active, the entire fandom felt a lot more like a "pvp enabled" zone, lmao -- it was every other day when there'd be some new batshit meta about c!dream or some stream to react to and analyze and fight people about and whatever. since then, though, with the dsmp gone, the fandom has become quieter -- which i think has allowed some of the variation in opinions within dreblr become more and more obvious? and also become a sort of source of friction.

again, this is normal for any fandom. i'm certainly not here to agree with everyone about c!dream always, lmao. but the vagueing of takes is always more awkward on both sides when it's someone where you share more of the same circles. at the end of the day, it's up to each individual blogger's discretion to choose what they will or won't post on their own blog, but at the same time ... when it comes to the community, just speaking for myself, i don't want a super high barrier of entry when it comes to people feeling like they can't join this fandom unless they've got [xyz] experience or [xyz] takes.

when it comes to actual analysis of the source material, though, keeping meta a safe place for people to say "no, i don't agree with this take because of [xyz]" is important as well, which always raises the question of how said disagreements should be handled. and again, i'm no authority, i'm not here to tell people what to do. personally, when it comes to my own blog, i don't like to post very much directly about any one blogger, but I know I've definitely written posts inspired by specific takes before as well as screenshots of takes from the fandom's heyday, etc. i don't necessarily feel uncomfortable with this ...? but at the same time, i know that vagueposts can be a source of discomfort, especially if they're about your take in particular (speaking from experience) -- so it's you know. not the easiest line to draw, I guess, especially when we're talking about a community where different people are going to have different levels of comfort with what they post on their own blogs and what other blogs do in response to their takes. and whatever.

vagueposting, i think, has been common in the tumblr dsmp fandom for a long time, and especially in dreblr -- direct engagement in the past errr usually went badly, so a habit formed of keeping everything we did kind of within our own spaces (hence why many of us don't even tag c!dream or even dreblr on most of our posts; keeping everything untagged, or keeping the tagging system restricted to our own blogs, limited the possibility of trouble). that being said, vagueing within dreblr has become more common, i think, as disagreements within dreblr have become more and more obvious in the time since the dsmp ended. (just for the obvious example: i think it's a bit of an open secret that i, personally, strongly disagree with much of the common depictions of c!drunz in this fandom. i've written some meta about this before, as well as some responses to meta--which i enjoyed greatly, believe me--but i've also noticed (perhaps coincidence) an uptick in c!drunz positive meta every time i or someone else makes a post that maybe skews more negative. which is normal, don't get me wrong, but also a pattern i've noticed. i'm also very aware that someone the arguments i may bring up as counterarguments or structure my posts around arguing against are based on actual arguments i've seen while in this space, which i'm aware is an easy source of friction within dreblr.) and it's easy to say "don't take it personally when it's just metaanalysis," but that's easier said than done, lmao, especially depending on the tone of the vaguepost and a myriad of other factors.

i'm not saying that i have the answers. or, for that matter, a single answer. the boundaries i set aren't going to be the same as the boundaries other people set, for one, and i have no desire to police what other people do on their own blogs. i do miss, sometimes, the more collaborative and discussion-based meta experience of this fandom when it was more active--i might try to more actively reblog posts (including those i don't necessarily agree with) to discuss this server and these characters, bc at the end of the day that is kind of why we're here. personally, i've always drawn a pretty sharp distinction between fanwork and analysis -- i think it's pretty bad form to criticize people's AUs In General (not that i've not. been guilty of it in the past, but i try at least to keep it to criticizing more general patterns within fanwork; look, i'm not going to claim a moral high ground, i love bitching way too much and should probably get a handle on that but asj;lkfdsaf) but when we're talking meta about the source material, barring shit like. you know, harassment and otherwise abusive behavior, i do consider it more of a free-for-all. at the same time, i know that these standards can lead to newer fans feeling like they're going to be booed out the door for sharing their thoughts, which, i mean, isn't great 😭😭😭 fresh eyes can bring a lot of really cool new insights, and it'd suck pretty damn bad to miss that because they don't feel welcome, yknow?

anyway, this is a very inconclusive post, but i thought i'd just throw some of my thoughts out as someone who has been here for a decently long time. and if you want to discuss w/ me, inbox and dms are always open :)

[accio-sriracha]

The Time Remus Lupin Got Drunk.

A Wolfstar Oneshot.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The Marauders were going to a party. Usually the way things go down is quite simple:

Sirius gets drunk first, the lightweight of the group who always drinks too much too fast and literally will not shut up for the rest of the night.

Next is Peter, who doesn't drink nearly as much as Sirius, but isn't very good at holding his liquor if we're being honest. He'll spend most of the party on the floor playing chess or in the bathroom throwing up. No in between.

James stumbles after him in third place, definitely not a lightweight but somehow always slamming down enough shots of firewhiskey to do the job. He spends a good percentage of his time trying to get Lily Evans' attention.

(Somehow even drunk he's still a perfect gentlemen and knows his boundaries. *cough, cough* it's not that hard *cough, cough*)

Remus has never gotten drunk in his life, except for once at the beginning of seventh year, but we don't talk about that.

He will spend the majority of the party babysitting his friends: bringing Peter water and crackers, telling Sirius that no, it's not a good idea to visit McGonagall right now, and asking James to please find his shirt, she's not any more impressed by his abs now than she was six years ago.

Today, however, was going to be different.

You see, the Marauders had a plan, a plan like none they'd ever come up with before.

Today: Sirius, Peter, and James were not going to get drunk.

Remus was.

Most of the reason Remus never got drunk in the past was simply because it was a hard feat to accomplish. Partly because Remus had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, and partly because of the whole werewolf thing.

He would have to drink a lot of firewhiskey to get to the point of slurring his speech.

And the second reason was Remus' refusal of being unaware of his surroundings in public. He felt too vulnerable, it didn't feel safe.

He made a joke on the way to the party they were going to tonight that he would only agree to get drunk if the others agreed to stay sober.

Obviously he hadn't been expecting them to actually agree.

But for whatever reason, his friends were far too eager to see him drunk.

So in they went, mixing into the crowd awkwardly, with Remus huddled between them all like a very tall child.

"Here." James filled a red cup with firewhiskey and passed it to him, "We should get started early, this will probably take a while."

Remus let out a resigned breath and accepted the cup from him, downing the liquid in one go. He cringed at the taste,

"I don't know why people insist on doing this. I don't see how this is pleasant at all."

Sirius shrugged, "It's fun? Takes your mind off things for a little while."

"Obviously not the case for somebody." Peter snickered, nodding his head towards James, "All he can ever think about is Evans, drunk or not."

"Hey!" James called, picking up a cup and pretending to toss it at him. Peter squeaked and jerked out of the way.

Remus snagged the cup away from him, "And you expect me to trust you lot to take care of me?"

James rolled his eyes, "Obviously we'll take this seriously, Moony."

Sirius nodded, "Especially me." He agreed solemnly. James scowled at him and turned back to Remus with an earnest expression,

"If you don't want to, we really won't force you, Moons. I know you don't like feeling vulnerable. Everything is your decision here."

Remus sighed, "It's alright, one night won't kill anyone... hopefully."

And you know... the whole werewolf thing.

If he was being honest, of course he trusted them to take care of him. They'd been doing it every month since third year.

The only issue was his filter, or rather, his lack of one.

After his second cup Sirius grabbed his free hand and dragged him over to the center of the room, "Drunk enough to dance yet?" He asked, raising his voice over the music.

"There isn't enough alcohol in the world." Remus called back.

"You don't know that. Drink up." James cheered, a cup held out to Remus.

Merlin he was going to be drinking a lot of alcohol tonight.

He turned back to face Sirius,

"So this really doesn't bother you? All the noise and the people?" He asked. Sirius shook his head,

"Not normally. I always have you guys with me, and sometimes it helps being surrounded by all this. I'd rather be too busy to think than sitting alone in silence, y'know?"

Remus nodded, he knew Sirius hated silence more than anything.

James switched out his cup again, "Alright, Moons, another round down."

"What is this, four in five minutes? You trying to kill me, Prongs?" Remus muttered, drinking it anyways.

"Mate... That's fucking terrifying." Sirius replied.

James laughed, "I have much subtler ways of doing that, Moony, don't you worry."

"Is this gonna be a long night or what?" Peter said. They all nodded in agreement.

"Hey, why don't we speed this up a little?" James asked, tapping the wand in his pocket. Remus' eyes shot wide open,

"No. Absolutely not. Do you remember what happened to Sirius last time you used that spell?"

James waved a hand, "Oh, that was nothing. He's always like that."

"He bawled his eyes out and tried to kiss a suit of armor." Peter raised an eyebrow, "Even drunk he's got a bit more dignity than that."

"Yeah but he's also like horrible at drinking. Maybe it'll work better with Moony since he's got a better tolerance."

"Hey!" Sirius pouted, "I can drink just fine, thank you."

James snorted, "Whatever you say, mate."

Remus ignored them,

"I don't know, Prongs. I'm not really sure. It's a little... experimental, don't you think?"

"What about us isn't experimental?" James countered, "You know how many charms laws we broke making that fucking map?"

Peter shook his head, "No, c'mon man. Don't make Moony your test dummy. It's his second time drinking. We'll try it out some other time."

James shrugged and waited for him to drink before giving him a new one, "Your loss. Now you're stuck filling your cup all night."

Remus downed it again, looking bored, "You know what, you're right. I'll be over at the drink table. I should probably stick closer to the source, yeah? Let me know if you need anything." He told them, walking awkwardly through the crowd.

"Hey Alice." Remus smiled, when he finally reached the table, resigned to drink until he began to feel the 'buzz' the others kept referring to, "How's everything going?"

"Not bad, you?"

He shrugged, filling his cup, "I suppose I could be worse."

"Are you... drinking?" She asked incredulously, "I've never seen you drink before."

He sighed, "Yeah, and you probably won't ever see it again."

"Someone feeling a little dangerous today?" She teased. He tipped back his cup, wrinkling his nose at the heat that settled uncomfortably in his chest,

"Hopefully not."

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the people around them.

"Where's Lily? Did she come?" He asked, Alice nodded,

"I don't actually know where she and Regulus went, but I know I saw them earlier."

"Wait, Regulus and Lily?" He questioned, "I didn't know they hung out."

She gave him a vague shrug,

"Yeah, none of us really know him that well, just you guys and Sirius. But he and Lily have this thing where they always sit next to each other at parties, they try to keep each other in check. Nerd stuff, I guess."

"Huh..." Remus took one last drink before standing up from his seat, "I've gotta go, thanks for the chat."

She nodded, "Yeah, see you around."

While Remus was busy being a wallflower, James and Sirius made their way to the other side of the room. Sirius grabbed Regulus' attention and waved him over,

"Hey, Reg. Bigger turn out than usual, right?" He asked. Regulus nodded,

"Yeah, there's hardly anywhere to sit anymore." He looked around for a second, "Your friend throw up yet?"

Sirius laughed, "No, Pete's fine. We're actually staying sober today."

Regulus rose an eyebrow at them both, "I find that very hard to believe."

"Hey, Regulus." James smiled.

"Potter." He nodded curtly.

James pouted, "Don't I get a warmer greeting? We've known each other for years now."

"Maybe you will in a few more years." He replied smoothly, taking another leisurely sip, "How's the courting coming along? Sing any songs to her yet?"

James looked confused, "Who?"

"You know, the love of your life."

His face went a deep shade of red, "What?"

"Evans?" Regulus was amused now, "Salazar, Potter. Seriously, how much have you had?"

"None." Sirius frowned, turning to face him, "What's up with you, mate?"

James only shook his head, "I've gotta go."

The pair watched him dissappear quickly into the crowd.

"The hell was that about?" Regulus asked.

"I've got no clue." Sirius rubbed his forehead, "But it's definitely weird."

"Pete." Remus sighed when he found him, tapping his arm to get his attention, "Come here, I have to ask you about something."

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Remus was weaving his way through people again, trying to keep his drink from spilling as he was bumped around.

They walked to the far corner of the common room. Peter looked concerned,

"Are you alright?"

"It's about Prongs." He started, keeping his voice low so the music would drown them out.

"Prongs?" He repeated, "What's wrong, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, he's fine. It's just-" He glanced around to make sure nobody was listening, "Do you ever think he acts a bit... strange at parties?"

Peter snorted, "You mean when he's drunk? Yeah, I'd say he's a little different than normal."

"No, I mean like- we've seen him drunk before, right? He isn't usually so over the top when it's just the four of us."

Peter nodded slowly, "Right."

"But when he's here, he gets all weird."

"Well yeah, because he's trying to impress Evans."

"But isn't it strange that he stopped hitting on her around the castle years ago but still hits on her when he's at parties?"

"Alcohol destroys your filter, man. Maybe he's just really good at pretending to not care."

"Or it's something else."

Peter watched him for a moment, a sudden suspicion in his eyes, "Are you drunk?"

"What? No, Peter, listen-"

"Hey, what's all the whispering about?" Sirius asked, walking up with James and Regulus on either side of him. James' face was red.

"I think Moons is getting a little tipsy." Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes,

"Shut up, Wormtail."

"Seems perfectly normal to me." Regulus joked, "Sarcastic as always."

"Remus isn't sarcastic when he's drunk." Sirius offered, "When I saw him he was-"

Remus shot him a look and Sirius stopped talking immediately.

"You never did tell us what happened." Peter said, glancing between them.

"And we won't." Remus cut in before Sirius had the chance, "That's between Lily, Sirius, and I."

"Wait Evans was there too? I thought it was just you and Padfoot when you got drunk?" James asked. Sirius' eyes widened,

"Maybe it's best if we drop the subject, yeah?" He gave Remus a pointed look.

"Why won't you say what happened?" Regulus asked, curious himself now as he looked to his brother.

Remus swallowed hard, clearly uncomfortable. Sirius cleared his throat,

"Finish your drink, I want to dance."

"So commanding." Remus grumbled, even as he lifted it to his lips without hesitation.

Sirius stepped up close and placed a finger underneath the cup, meeting Remus' eyes as he tipped it back.

Remus was... well let's just say he was a little more awake now than he was a moment ago, his entire body humming with electricity at the look in Sirius' eyes.

He finished the drink, throwing the cup onto the floor,

"Fine." He took Sirius' arm and dragged him back into the crowd of people.

"What the fuck just happened?" Peter laughed. James shrugged,

"It's them, when do we ever know what's going on?"

Sirius stopped when they reached the center. Remus rose an eyebrow,

"So...?" He started.

"Yeah." Sirius laughed softly. He wrapped his arms around Remus' neck, like you would if you were slow dancing. The song was the exact opposite tempo, but neither of them really cared enough to notice.

"I'm not upset about what happened that night." Remus told him as his hands wound around Sirius' waist, "I know I made a big thing about it, but I don't blame you."

Sirius' head was shaking before Remus even finished his sentence, "It was your first time drinking, Moons. I should have been more aware of what was going on."

"I told you I'm not upset." Remus protested.

"I know, I just don't believe you."

"Would you like me to get Lily? She'll be glad to tell you every thought I shared with her about it."

Sirius cringed, "Merlin, no thanks. I'd honestly rather die than rehash that with Evans again."

"It wasn't that terrible."

"Says you! You didn't do what I did!" He laughed.

"Well nobody forced you to do what you did either!"

"It was kind of implied." Sirius gave him a sly smile.

Remus scoffed, "Okay, first of all-"

"No, no, no! You cannot deny that. You would never have done it." He cut him off.

Remus sighed, "Fine... Maybe you're right."

"Maybe?" He raised an eyebrow. Remus laughed,

"Okay, you're absolutely right. I would never have done that. You have my gratitude for taking one for the team."

Suddenly he was smiling again, "It wasn't that terrible." He mimicked.

"You want me to tell her you said that?" Remus asked, pretending to pull away to go find her.

"Don't you dare!" Sirius laughed as he jerked him back into the embrace, making them press fully against each other on accident.

"Oh." Remus whispered. Sirius took in a sharp breath,

"Oh." He repeated.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Over by the drinks table James, Peter, and Regulus were still talking.

Peter was stuck between watching Sirius and Remus, and watching Regulus and James.

He couldn't deny it now, James was weird at parties. Even though he wasn't drunk like he normally was, Peter could still hear that tone in his voice, see the look in his eyes that meant he was totally and completely whipped.

Only... Lily Evans wasn't anywhere around.

He glanced back at Remus and Sirius to find something had shifted dramatically in the few seconds he'd looked away.

They stood, holding each other tightly, staring into each other's eyes. Peter could feel the tension from across the room. He felt his own eyes widen quickly looked away to give them privacy, accidentally staring at Lily Evans instead.

"Hey, I'll be right back." He told James and Regulus, who were currently in a heated argument about the best quidditch play from the world cup this year.

Neither of them replied so he just walked away, coming up to sit down beside her.

"Hey, Wormy." She smiled. He smiled back,

"Hey, Evans. This is a great party."

She chuckled, "Yeah, it's interesting to see you actually a part of it."

"Hey, my chess games were top notch." He laughed. She bumped their shoulders together,

"And so were your bathroom hogging skills."

"Touché."

She glanced towards Sirius and Remus,

"Do you see them?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, I was watching them earlier. It's a good thing, right?"

"Yeah. They deserve to be happy."

"You think they'll make each other happy?" He asked, a little hopeful.

She nodded, her voice was certain, "I do."

"What ever happened between the three of you? Remus refuses to tell anyone, all we know is that it was the only time he ever got drunk."

She snorted, "Merlin, that is really not my story to tell." She smiled at him, "But I can assure you that I know they'll make each other happy."

"You had sex with one of them, didn't you?" He asked. He could see it in the blush that formed on her cheeks.

She looked away but didn't deny it.

"Well, shit. That's one hell of a first drunken experience." Peter muttered.

"I think it was a lot more than just one first experience." She nodded towards the pair again, "If you know what I mean."

"No way." He gasped, "Did they..."

She held her hands up, "I don't know anything, alright? According to this conversation I was too drunk to remember that night."

Peter blew out a long breath, "Noted."

Lily sipped on her drink leisurely, just like Regulus always does. This reminded him of something he noticed earlier,

"So, do you and Regulus know each other well? I saw you guys together when we first got here."

"Oh, kind of. We only hang out at parties. We're like each other's safety net in a way, we make sure nothing goes wrong and that neither of us gets too messed up."

"I don't know, a few years ago probably. It's been a while." She shrugged.

"When did that start?" He tried to make the question casual. Something about the way she said it reminded him of what Remus had said earlier. 'Or maybe it's something else'.

"So you guys always sit next to each other?"

"Mhmm." She glanced around, a slight frown on her lips, "Except today apparently. He went of with Sirius and he hasn't come back yet."

Peter nodded, letting it finally sink in.

Everything James did when he was drunk was always in her direction, the singing, the confessions, the love-sick puppy dog eyes.

But it wasn't ever at her, was it?

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Can I ask you something?" He spoke quietly. Regulus eyed his hand but didn't shake him off,

The others had gone off to their separate conversations, leaving James and Regulus alone. James hadn't even noticed Peter leave.

Regulus had ended up winning their quidditch argument, pulling out a trump card James hadn't thought to bring up. He was impressed, his smile wide and genuine. He liked that Regulus wasn't just as passionate as he was.

They stayed quiet for a little bit, Regulus sipped on his drink and James tried to look at anything else, not wanting to get caught staring.

Eventually he couldn't take it anymore.

James turned completely to face Regulus, touching his shoulder to get his attention,

"Shoot."

"Everyone always tells me that my... 'courting' is over the top when I'm drunk. Is it really that bad?"

Regulus' lips twitched up in a smile, "It's not terrible. Some people find it endearing."

There was something different in James' expression when he asked, "Would you happen to be one of those people?"

Regulus watched him for another long moment before he answered, "I guess you could say that."

James nodded and looked away. He never moved his hand, Regulus didn't either.

"Do I ever say a name?" He cleared his throat, "Like when I'm... I don't know, people say I confess things. Do I ever say who I'm talking to?"

Regulus thought back to everything he remembered about Potter's attempts at flirting,

"I'm not sure... No, I don't think so. You did get the color of her eyes wrong one time, Lily laughed about it for like a week. It's hard to forget that they're green. But then again, you were really drunk so nobody blames you."

"What color did I say?" James asked quietly. Regulus looked at him then, the intensity in James' voice throwing him for a loop,

"You said gray."

There was a long pause before James looked up at him too. His eyes searching Regulus' own, like he was memorizing them.

"I meant it."

Regulus was confused for a moment, then he realised that was his eye color. James must have been talking about his eyes.

He froze, but then...

Oh.

Oh.

"Potter?" Regulus suddenly couldn't remember how to speak. James swallowed hard,

"Yeah?"

"It was... Lily you were speaking to all those times... right?"

James shook his head slowly.

"Who was it?" Regulus' question was a whisper.

James finally moved his hand, though instead of dropping it, he lifted it up to hover over Regulus' cheek,

"Do you really need me to answer that?"

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

"Sirius, I-" Remus looked away, his head spinning slightly, "I think I might be a little drunk."

Sirius' fingers dug into his shoulders, "How drunk?" He murmured. Remus' eyes held something deeper in them when he replied,

"Not so much that I don't know what I want."

"What do you want, Moons?"

The question was never answered.

It took them mere seconds to make it to the stairs leading up to their dorm.

They shut the door behind them, laughing and clutching onto each other as they caught their breath.

"Can I admit something to you?" Remus whispered, his eyes bright with excitement, "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that night."

Sirius nodded, "I know how you feel."

"I- I want you, Sirius." Remus turned to face him, holding his hands between his own, "More than that, I... I want to be with you."

"With me?" Sirius questioned. He refused to get his hopes up.

"I think I'm in love with you." Sirius blurted out. He wasn't exactly sure why. He wasn't even drunk. Remus didn't seem to mind, his small smile turned brilliant,

"With you." Remus repeated, "I want everything, Pads, I- I want a life with you. I always have."

And if Sirius had any ounce of self control, the dazed look in Remus' eyes and his small giddy smile was enough to shred it to pieces.

"I think I'm in love with you too." He whispered.

And those were the last words either of them spoke for the rest of the night.

Remus Lupin would always remember the only two times he'd ever gotten drunk. But not for the reasons you would expect.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Book Thoughts: Ellen and Oscar

Re-reading RWRB and thinking about Oscar and Ellen. The thing is book Ellen and Oscar's relationship scares me because it's like the worst-case scenario of my own parents (they're a lot better now but covid was hell) So I understand it.

Ellen and Oscar are soulmates. As in they are both intelligent, stubborn and headstrong. They are very similar people. Unfortunately this is a case where it's like forcefully pushing two North ends of a magnet together: Ellen in particular wants and needs a complimentary relationship instead of collaborative relationship, which is why Leo works for her: Leo is meek compared to Oscar. He really just listens and generally agrees with Ellen. His appearances are limited in the book but when he does show up he doesn't really have his own opinion. Ellen wants/needs someone who won't speak up against her.

Honestly? I, kinda feel sad for Oscar. He said it himself, "We're both too fucking proud. But God, that woman. Your mother is, without question, the love of my life. I'll never love anyone else like that." It's sad to know that he never stopped loving Ellen while vice versa isn't true, and to know that she's it for Oscar.

When it comes to parenting I honestly think Oscar is the better parent. It was really shitty of him to leave without telling Alex and June and that evidently really hurt Alex til this day, but when it comes to the other parent things? I was re-reading/listening to Chapter Four today when he goes to DC for Christmas, and both Alex and June are so much more comfortable with him. Part of that is probably because he doesn't carry the inherent pressure of being the fucking president, but part of it is that he really cares about his kids as they are. Ellen downplays June's passion for journalism and pressures her into a political job that she didn't want at all, while Oscar "raved about June's latest blog post for The Atlantic". Ellen immediately started piling up all the political consequences of firstprince literally minutes after Alex plucked up the courage to come out to her while Oscar gave him relationship advice. This isn't to say Ellen isn't a good mother, she is flawed, as Oscar is, as all parents are. But if we're looking at non-crisis moments, Oscar's actions are more comfortable for his children.

There's a reason June initially wanted to go to California and be close to her dad. Yesterday I talked a little about how I hated how Ellen and Alex treated June at the earlier chapters of the book. Well in the rest of the book it's implied that she has a much closer relationship with Oscar, jumping into his arms when he arrives at the White House, him picking her up and spinning her when they arrive at the lakehouse.

Either way, Ellen and Oscar clash becasue they're too alike, and my opinion is that Ellen tends to fan the flames more, see Christmas dinner where Oscar suggests campaigning with them to help and she immediately shoots it down with "you can't be serious". Anyways, the children suffer the most. And uh, speaking from experience here, that shit never goes away. My parents are still together and are a lot better compared to the past, but I flinch at any sound of argument/angry yelling because of all of their fighting.

And there's this one paragraph in the book: "Even before Alex's parents split, they both had a habit of calling him by the other's last name when he exhibited a particular trait. They still do. When he runs his mouth off to the press, his mom called him into her office and says ' get your shit together Diaz.' When his hard-headedness gets him stuck, his dad texts him, 'Let it go, Claremont'" and God that's so shitty? To know, to be reminded that one parent hates the part of you that is from the other parent. Even if that's not what Ellen and Oscar's intention is, that's what it feels like, and it's really, fucking, shitty.

I wonder how would book Alex feel if he know that there was an alternative universe out there where his family was functional. I wonder how would he feel if he knew that movie Alex doesn't have his loving sister, but has loving, gentle parents who have a healthy, functional relationship.

My guess, is that he would say that he'd choose his life and his sister no matter what, and he means it because he does love June, but deep down a part of him would be jealous of movie Alex for having a smaller but healthier and happier family.

[pythoness94]

Okay, so, I was talking with an IRL friend earlier and we were talking about our autism and it's weird fucking traits. For example, me being unable to stand the texture or smell of black jeans so i have to wear really loose big one that i roll the pants leg up off. Or for them, being unable to stand the feeling of hair on their face and sometimes being hyper aware of it on their scalp. So, while we were talking, I was thinking Mike Wheeler...

One thing that really stuck out to me was how we view our heart beats. I've had a lot of near death experiences and I like feeling my heart. I like that feeling of my heart in my throat, i like hearing it in my ears, I absently check my pulse during conversation or if i'm feeling anxious. If i can't go to sleep at night, i roll on my stomach and feel my heart in my chest and lower throat. I like to feel it. My friend, however, is actively sickened by it. They cannot stand the feeling of it; they basically get the ick by it and don't like touching their wrist period. And imagine this with Mike and Will.

I might be projecting but I've almost drowned on multiple occasions and have fallen from heights, (Not quarry heights but enough to make me scared of falling, drowning, and hospitals. Remember those near-death experiences, they're no demodogs but still.) So, imagine Mike being comforted by his and Will's hearts. Imagine Mike feeling his pulse whenever he can to make sure he's still ALIVE. That all those near deaths didn't matter, that he survived. A Demogorgon chases them and once they get away, Mike's fingers aren't only on his wrist but whoever was with them. he's looking at their chests to make sure they're breathing. Checking to see if they're blood still pumping and their cheeks are rosy. Imagine that Mike loves the feeling of adrenaline in his veins because it means he's breathing, he's still here. He is desperate to remember his life

However, imagine Will being sickened by it. Imagine Will, who was forced to listen to his own heartbeat on the monitor while mind flayed, being unable to stand the feeling of his own heart. That when he feels his heart in his throat, he can only think of coughing up that slug. That when fingers on are his wrist he pulls his wrist away because it makes him think of doctors and people prodding at him like he's just science to them now. When he feels the adrenaline in his veins he hates it because it makes him think of his time in the upside down. Then after Vecna strangles him, he can't stand anything near his neck because of it, much less hands. Will would be content to ignore that he had a heart at all honestly.

Now imagine Mike keeps reaching for Will's wrist to check if he's alive, he keeps going for the neck, or trying to put a hand on Will's chest. Then Will goes to snap at him in irritation only to see pure panic and teary eyes on Mike's face because Mike needs to know if Will is real or not. He needs to know if this is happening or if it's vecna and why isn't Will letting him? Was it something he did? did he mess up again? he thought they were good! And Will puts everything aside for a moment, just so Mike can make sure. Then for the first time in awhile, Will doesn't mind the hands on his wrist. His body warms like he's standing in front of a fire on a winters day as Mike's body heat soaks into his skin. he thinks, 'hey, maybe it's not so bad." So from then on, Will hands his wrist to Mike automatically, but keeps pulling it away from anyone else. It would be...so cool!

[diyasgarden]

Phobias

Art has a phobia of sickness. It actually developed naturally. Living with his elderly grandma made him hyperaware of how easy it is to get sick. Really the fear is connected to the fear of losing his grandmother, but it kind of just carries with him throughout his life. You tease him about it just a little bit because he spends so much time with Patrick (who is the messiest person alive), but Art simply rolls his eyes every time. He says there is a difference between going a fear of germs and sickness, but you think maybe he loves Patrick enough to put up with it.

Growing up Tashi had a phobia of doctors. She hated going in for any reason, including her physicals. This fear got worse when she started to really get into tennis, because she was afraid the doctor would find some reason that would prevent her from playing. She told you this once, and you reassured her nothing like that would happen. It's also one of the reasons why her injury feels like a cruel joke to her. She gets over this phobia after her injury because she wants nothing more than to play again. She goes to any doctor who she thinks may help and does whatever they say. She essentially forces the fear out of her in the hope that she'd be able to play again. She never gets the opportunity, but at least she isn't afraid of doctors anymore.

I'm not necessarily sure if this is a phobia, but Patrick hates it when everything is quiet. It deeply unsettles him. His childhood was quiet and he never liked it. It feels like disappointment and desperation to him. Makes him insanely anxious and is probably why he is such a loud person. It's also connected to his fear of abandonment. He always likes having some background noise. This is why he traveled a lot during those years he spent alone and preferred staying in random shitty motels by the side of the highway. If he had to be alone at least he'd have the noise from the cars. It's not something he talks about and it only really affects him when he is alone. When he is with other people, he finds their presence to be grounding and prevent him from becoming anxious, even when it is quiet. If you're with him, the room could be quiet, and he'd be fine as long as he could hear the sound of you breathing. You still have a gut feeling about him having this fear though, but you realize it probably has to do with the fact that everything being quiet makes him realize how lonely he feels.

[minaloywhore]

hey, it's been a minute, but let's talk about dark academia that isn't as euro-centric cause i'm like, really sick of it lmfao

(also, i'm white and live in the US! people who aren't white and who don't live in the us, lemme know if there's anything I'm missing!)

yeah yeah, dark academia, learn a dead language. latin is good because of science, but have you ever considered learning arabic? lots of our math stuff comes from arabic and the scholars in the baghdad house of wisdom (hell, al-gebra)

or maybe learn sanskrit! like latin is an "academic language" in the west, sanskrit has similar connotations in the indian subcontinent, with many historical records having been written in sanskrit

hell, if we're talking liturgical languages like latin, why not try church slavonic or coptic?

please stop romanticizing only european architecture. its beautiful and stunning, and so is architecture from all over the world! just as a couple examples:

st michaels golden-domed monestary

 the bibi-khanym mosque in Uzbekistan

the tomb of askia in gao, mali

machu picchu

the iron pagoda in Kaifeng, china

etc etc etc!!

read academia from all over the world!! there are scholars in india and china and kazakhstan and south africa with wonderful writing about their own histories and cultures, you just have to do a little google scholar search to find it!

look at oral histories and folklore from all over the world! like blue from osp said, if people consider the witcher (which is just medieval poland) as exotic, what will they do when they read gilgamesh or the monkey king? look at the wonderful parallels between our bodies of folklore and mythology and oral history, like the floods in the bible and in gilgamesh!

that being said, look for sources written BY the people who are telling these stories. outsiders have their own biases and agendas, so read anything about different cultures than the author (especially ones that no longer exist) critically and biographically. looking at you, snorri

be more chill about people with bodies that you dont think are normal. be more chill about people with bodies that you don't think should be wearing DA clothing, or that you think are doing it wrong. they have every right to wear DA clothing, and they're doing it better than you are.

understand that if you're in a position to be enjoying DA, you're probably privileged. use that privilege for good, fight for what is right, and listen to marginalized voices. if you fuck up, acknowledge that you fucked up and work to right the wrong and not do it again, but don't take someone telling you you fucked up as a personal attack. it's not.

i acknowledge that the land i live on was originally stewarded and lived upon by a native american tribe that no longer exists because of european colonization. i acknowledge their (and the tribe that survivors of the colonization in my area went to)'s right to the land.

[three-headed-monster]

It really bugs me when people say that since Quinn and Jack own the lake house in Mich but not Luke then that means he’s not as close as them or that they don’t want him there

Idk to me it always seemed like common sense that the reason he didn’t buy the house with them was because he was 1 too young and 2 he wasn’t in the nhl yet and probably didn’t have the means to do so

i agree anon, that it's strange that people question why he wasn't apart of the buying process (cause yeah you're not putting a 17-year-old on a housing lease even if he did have the means).

when it comes to luke, i fear a lot of those headcanons stem from not understanding the difference between independence vs not being close to your brothers/not loving your brothers. in my view, luke is very very independent person. he likes the person he is away from the influence of anyone else in general, and he likes being just himself. it's why he chooses to live at home with his parents, why he acts differently sometimes around his friends vs his family, why he seems to hold a lot of his own unique interests. it's not a bad thing! it's just who he is, but it also leads to people thinking he isn't close to his brothers (when it's more about wanting to do his own thing rather than them not wanting him there)

obviously he loves them, they helped shape into the person he is and taught him everything he knows. and they love him for being their little brother and a good person to be around. but being around other people who have such big personalities sometimes, like the whole of the ntdp 2019 training group, can be stifling ! i don't blame luke for like wanting to chill out and be less involved atm.

and also people often forget when headcanoning, things aren't as black and white as they seem! people are more than their one character trait and there *can* and *should* be nuance in talking about things about this. just because luke isn't at the lake house a lot doesn't mean his brothers hate him, it could quite literally mean he could just need a break from living with them 24/7 lmao

[works-of-heart]

The fandom is so lucky to have you! We appreciate having you here and all that you contribute to it ❤️❤️

1. What brought you into the fandom?

2. What character(s) do you feel the most connected to and why?

3. Out of all of SJM’s books, which one means the most to you and why?

4. Out of all of the SJM couples (fanon, canon, endgame, etc) which one means the most to you and why?

Keep doing you ❤️

Awww!! Thank you so much! This really warms my heart!

1. I got into ACOTAR in 2020, I am not sure why I delayed so long, I was eyeing the series since 2018, and decided to dive straight in. Since the first book I was hooked and immediately picked up the rest of the series! I loved it so much but there wasn't anyone else I knew to talk about it with. So I found reddit and wanted to share my feelings.

I found some parts of the fandom so polarizing, and many of my thoughts and likes were the unpopular ones, so I retreated for a while. I recently stumbled back into Tumblr when I found that there were quite a lot of people here who enjoyed the books as I did and art and fics to share. I wanted to add to that, to be in this space and contribute my own works that I've been dying to share and geek out with others.

I've met so many incredible people in this fandom, many who are super talented and skilled artists and writers, others who contribute in their own ways, and I have been glad to be here ever since!

2. Honestly? Lucien and Elain.

Lucien because he doesn't ever really fit in. He's made a home for himself in spring yes, but then thar fell apart. He lost everything and is with two others who have been his companions and made their own way. He doesn't think a whole lot of himself, he doesn't believe he's needed, as he said "a whole lot of nothing." I resonate with this so much. I've had friends whole dumped me and left me for their own group, I've known what it's like to be invited into gatherings but feel so utterly alone and unwanted, those moments really sat with me when reading his parts of the story, and so I'm excited to see him find himself and grow into truly valuing who he is, realizing he isn't just some seventh son of a lord.

With Elain, the way she's seen by her family is something infeel all too well. She's the people pleaser, the one who tries to balance out the bad with good. She's the one people think is just simple, plain, and 'pleasant'. People think she's uninteresting because she isn't causing waves, that she just enjoys her hobbies and that's it. No one thinks she's capable of more and generally deny her of trying anything else. This really spoke to me on a personal level.

I resonate a lot with Elain who tries to make the best of every situation, but also has a side of her that many have yet to see.

3. I don't think I particularly have one that means the "most" to me persay. At least not yet. I would say the CC books hold a special place in my heart. My husband bought HOEAB on audio book and during a long road trip we listened to it and he was so into it, that it made me smile. He enjoys the series and eagerly bought HOSAB audio book so we took a long drive to listen to it.

4. This will come as no surprise to anyone that it's Elucien for me! The moment Lucien lunged for Elain to try and stop her from being thrown into the cauldron, I was already shipping them, and him whispering with shock "you're my mate" I was sold!

I don't know what it is about them, but the potential they have, the slow burn, the thought of Lucien having given up on true love after Jesminda, only to be given a mate in Elain??! I want it all! I want to see Elain and Lucien having the most tsundere romance, the kind where she's denying her feelings aloud as if it would assure her that she's totally not falling in love with him. The way we can see how their powers will sync, and find home in each other. Their relationship reminds me so much of my own journey with my husband that I can't wait to see it unfold.

I could go on and on as to why I personally love these two together, but at the end of the day, they bring me so much joy and have been the inspiration to so much of my artwork. ❤️