#this isn’t going on my main i feel like it’ll find an audience here

[rpfshippingpolls]

IM CRYINGGG WHAT IS THIS

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I remember you wrote a thing where Crowley interviews Fellow for a teaching job, can we get a continuation of that? idk where Gidel would fit so yeah sorry

[Referencing this interaction!]

So tell me, do you wanna go?

Every morning was a new opportunity presenting itself in a gift-wrapped box. This morning was, perhaps, the grandest opportunity, the greatest gift, of them all.

From the moment Fellow had woken up, he had been a flurry of movement, almost as fast as the words he often spewed. Buttering toast for two (a luxury for them), packing a small bag of pencils (each of varying length), untangling the knots in Gidel's hair, tying the boy's shoelaces for him. He had also been up late redoing the stitching on his suit, ironing the wrinkles out, and searching for a matching pair of socks for Gidel. The first rule of making a good impression: dress to impress.

Even when they were out the door and rushing to the main school building, Fellow fretted. He smoothed out his shirt, redid his cravat over and over, wiped his glasses more times than he could count. (In fairness, that number still wasn't very high, but it was the sentiment that mattered.)

The imminent shadow of Night Raven College loomed, making him feel small and powerless. Here, dreams were made—and crushed.

Like his had been, once upon a time.

His mind blanked. It had run off and hid, shivering in a dark recess somewhere, wedged between doubt and despair.

He was brought back to earth by a warmth and pressure at his arm. Fellow glance down to find Gidel grasping him and offering an encouraging grin. His jacket and vest were oversized, and his tie sloppy, but he glowed with excitement.

“… You’re right, Giddie. What am I mopin’ around for? It’ll do me no good.” Fellow sighed, banishing his bad thoughts in that breath. “We should be celebrating! Today’s a big day for us. Our new beginning.”

Together, they took the brave first step into the foyer. Down the hallway and to the right, their first stop.

Again, his heart raced. Anxiety and fear surging, despite his efforts to keep them at bay.

Smile at the face of danger. Get tough when the going gets rough. It’s nothing you haven’t done before, he coaxed himself. You can do this. Show those snooty little rich kids what you’re capable of!

“Let’s go…!” Fellow bellowed, seizing Gidel by the shoulders. It’s SHOWTIME!”

They barged in, the door opening with such force that it slammed against the wall. Students startled in their seats.

“M-Myah?!” Grim snapped awake from his nap. “What’s happenin’, am I still asleep or what?!”

Beside him, the Ramshackle Prefect perked up. They waved at Fellow and Gidel, as if they had been expecting them all along, Of course—they had been the one to pass along a strong recommendation to the headmaster.

“Mornin’, teach! Mornin’, new classmate!” they chirped.

Ace groaned, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. "Oh, you have got to be kidding me. This is the guy they hired for the new Life Skills course?”

"H-Hey, don't be rude to the new professor!" Deuce hissed at his dorm mate. “Show some respect!”

Show some respect.

Respect! That’s right, he deserved it. He was among them now—amid the elites, instructing them.

Fellow straightened, marching right up to the podium at the front of the classroom. (Gidel followed him, only to be shooed off and whispered a reminder that he belonged in a desk. He scurried to a free spot in the corner, planting his supplies down.)

“Students!” Fellow announced, rapping his fox-tipped cane on the podium. His voice, loud and proud. “Your attention please!

“Welcome to Life Skills. As the name suggests, this class will focus on practical skills that’ll serve you well in life. I’ll be your instructor. The name’s Fellow, Fellow Honest—but please, please, call me by my first name!”

Deuce’s hand instantly shot up. “S-Sir, isn’t that kind of familiarity improper?!”

“In my classroom, everyone’s an equal. Myself included,” Fellow laughed, tipping his top hat at his bewildered audience. “Let’s have fun together, shall we?”

“Wow,” Deuce murmured raptly, seriously impressed. “The new professor’s so chill.”

Gidel and Yuu clapped excitedly for him. Ace rolled his eyes.

“This is gonna be a long semester.”

[asordinaryppl]

A3! Main Story: Part 4 - Act 14: DREAM CATCHER - Episode 1: To The Next Season

Ibuki: Hmm… Something’s not right.

Ibuki: What about this angle… Hmm.

Ibuki: (I can’t really decide… I wonder if I can find some inspiration somewhere.)

Ibuki:  …

Ibuki: (Even TikTak has been full of promo videos for theater companies lately.)

Ibuki: Ah, “Get To Know MANKAI Company”?

Ibuki: (MANKAI Company, eh…)

Iv has entered the chat momo: eugh… i probably messed up… Iv: wassup? momo: no… i just got a little carried away… ig Kar: idgi shiki: you’re always free to tell us if something’s bothering you

-

Sakuya in the video: “Thank you very much!”

Masumi in the video: “Thank you very much.”

-

Muku: *dreamy sigh* … The RomiJuli sequel was so good.

Tenma: Thinking back to your debut really does make one emotional.

Kumon: It’s so awesome how you can tell how much they’ve grown as they play the same role!

Yuki: It’s like their growth as actors is linked to their characters’ personal growth.

Kazunari: Pretty much. It’s like there’s some synergy going on~

Misumi: I can’t wait for our “Water Me!” sequel~

Muku: Me neither! I wonder what kind of story it’ll be?

Tenma: We have to show that we’ve grown just as much as the Spring Troupe has

Muku: … Huh?

Izumi: What’s wrong?

Muku: The boy in the audience in this video… Isn’t he Masumi-kun’s fan?

Izumi: Ah, you’re right. That’s Towa-kun.

Tenma: Is that the fan that came to talk to Tsuzuru-san the other day?

Izumi: Yeah.

Muku: So he managed to get a ticket for the first day. I’m glad.

Izumi: He said it’d be his first time watching a performance in a theater, he must’ve been very emotional.

Izumi: (If anything, he was a little too emotional. I’d have never expected him to say what he did…)

[Flashback starts]

Towa: … Tsuzuru Minagi-sensei!! I want you to write a script for my troupe!! Please!!

Tsuzuru: Eh? … EHHHH!?

Tsuzuru: You want me to write a script?

Towa: Yes!

Sakuya: That’s amazing! Have you created a troupe?

Towa: Um, I plan to start creating it from now on…

Izumi: Have you gathered members?

Towa: N-No… I plan to start doing that.

Masumi: In other words, it’s just you right now.

Towa: But I… want to create a troupe just like MANKAI Company!

Towa: When I participated in the Spring Troupe's workshop, I learned a little about how plays are created, and what it feels like to stand on stage...

Towa: And I became more interested in theater.

Towa: And then, when I actually watched the Spring Troupe’s performance in a theater, I was moved in a way I’ve never been before.

Towa: Thanks to the hard work of many people, the play takes on a real form on top of the stage, and the actors truly shine…

Towa: It made me think that I want to stand on that stage as well. I want to try shining the way everyone does…

Towa: This may be too simple, and my way of thinking might be naive, but…

Towa: I feel like fate brought me here, to find what I want to do, and to discover theater!

Tsuzuru: … I see. Fate, huh?

Towa: I’m sorry, this probably seems really stupid to you…

Izumi: Not at all.

Tsuzuru: I’ve also felt this way, so I get it.

Sakuya: I also felt that way when I first experienced theater.

Citron: We totally understand Towa’s feels~!

Izumi: Moments like that do happen. I believe that if you feel like you’re destined to act, then that means you have the talent for it.

Tsuzuru: I understand your motivation, and I’d love to cooperate with you. But when you’re the only member in the troupe…

Tsuzuru: Performing a one-person act as a beginner is pretty difficult, so I’d rather your troupe has at least 4 members.

Towa: I need 3 more…

Towa: … I understand! I’ll find them!

Tsuzuru: Alright. I’ll be waiting.

Izumi: Do your best.

Sakuya: We’ll be cheering for you!

Towa: Thank you very much!

[Flashback ends]

Izumi: (I do wonder how things are going with Towa-kun’s company, but I have to prioritize the Summer Troupe’s performance.)

Izumi: (Our ranking may have improved, but we’re still far from the Fleur Award…)

Izumi: (The new companies are all rapidly gaining momentum, so we need to keep our guard up as we move to 2Q…)

previous episode (act 13) | masterpost | next episode

[sasagero]

A3! Outing Event: Shining Hawkeye in the Dark Episode 2 Translation

NOTE: Please take this translation with a grain of salt – I’m not proficient enough in Japanese to feel comfortable saying that this translation is 100% accurate. However, I hope that the meaning comes across okay.

All chapters & story summary

Izumi: I actually planned to talk to you all one-by-one about it later, but since you’re all already here, why don’t we discuss it now?

Taichi: Why, what’s up?

Izumi: To be honest, you all are my casting choices for the event.

Tenma: Everyone here? Why’d you pick us, though?

Izumi: For this performance, they requested that the actors match the aura and appearance of the characters from the picture book.

Izumi: It seems like elementary schools have already applied to attend the event for field trips, you see.

Izumi: Because the majority of the audience viewing the performance will probably be children, I ended up selecting troupe members who fit the auras of the characters.

Taichi: Ohh! I mean, I get it when you put it that way. Citron sorta looks like the thieves’ guild’s leader, Zenos!

Citron: Zenos?

Taichi: He’s on the cover of the book—this guy!

Citron: Ohhh. He looks very cool, doesn’t he? I’d like to try! I’ll definitely do the event!

Izumi: Thank you. Citron-kun’s decided to participate, then.

Izumi: How do you feel about Taichi-kun as Lauren, the protagonist, and Kazunari-kun as the guild’s archer? You match those characters pretty well, I think.

Kazunari: Ooh, I can def see that! Taicchan, you totally give off the same energy as the protag!

Taichi: Seriously? Hehe. Actually, Mii-chan and Maa-kun said I look like Lauren, too~.

Taichi: I talked to Igawa-san about my schedule just yesterday, but I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t have work or anything going on during the event.

Taichi: I wanna participate, too!

Taichi: By the way, what you said was just like what Ricardo would say, Kazu-kun!

Kazunari: Fr? Thanksies~! My schedule isn’t super packed either, so I should be OK to participate.

Tenma: So that means that there’s a character in the book that resembles me?

Izumi: He isn’t in this book, but there’s a nobleman I’d like you to try the role of.

Tenma: I won’t be a thief then, huh…

Tenma: But alright, I got it. I’ll have Igawa check my schedule. I’ll make sure he’s there to discuss the matter of recording the performance, too.

Izumi: Yeah, that would be great.

Taichi: Ten-chan, thank you!

Citron: Besides us, there’s others you need to speak to, right?

Izumi: For the other members of the thieves’ guild, I plan on asking Guy-san, Juza-kun, and Muku-kun.

Kazunari: I can def see that! It’ll be nice if all of their schedules are free.

Tenma: I think so too.

Citron: I’m excited for everyone to participate!

Taichi: (When Mii-chan and Maa-kun find out that I’m playing the main character from this book, I’m sure they’ll both be pleased!)

Taichi: (For the Valtalon event, the other three said they could participate without any problems, and Ten-chan said he could do it too, so I’m super excited!)

*phone buzz*

Taichi: Hm? …Ah, it’s Igawa-san! Hello!

Igawa: “Hello, this is Igawa. Is this a good time for you? To be truthful, an offer for your appearance in a drama came in.”

Taichi: Eh—are you serious!? Woohoo—!

Igawa: "However, because the recording will be immediately after the end of the book event we discussed before…"

Igawa: "You’ll likely have to memorize the script at the same time as rehearsals for your event."

Taichi: …

Igawa: "They’ve given us three days to make a decision and respond. If you can do both, I’ll contact the other party, but if you have any troubles, please feel free to contact me."

Taichi: I see… By the way, what do you think I should do, Igawa-san?

Igawa: "Hmm… It’s a role that only appears in two episodes, so I believe you can take it on."

Igawa: "However, seeing as you only just joined the agency, I don’t want to overload you with work and burden you with too much."

Taichi: Got it. Thank you very much. I’ll let you know what I decide!

Igawa: "Yes, please do so. Goodbye, then."

*call end*

Taichi: Hmmmmm…

Taichi: (Honestly, I really wanna go for the drama. But I’ve got the event to perform in too, and I also wanna go to university…)

Taichi: (But this is different from when we were preparing “Picaresque Returns” because the practice period is so much shorter… I wonder if I can do it…)

Taichi: Worst case scenario, I decide to do both of them and end up half-assing all of it…

---

Previous chapter | Next chapter

[mdhwrites]

Ruby Gillman Trailer

So... This trailer has theoretically been living in my brain for the past day and I want to talk about it. My first thought was just “This is cute. Looks neat. I’ll keep an eye out for it and maybe see it if I get the opportunity.” Theeeeeen someone made art of the mermaid and kraken kissing and I mean that’s just perfect. There’s even a lot of good potential for shipping there with the person who is defined by their powers and what they are and the person who doesn’t care about any of those things. The attraction from the mermaid to the kraken is immediate and obvious and filling in the gaps could be fun. Which actually brought me to stage two: This trailer is bad... but in a good way? It fails in just making an audience interested as it also defeats the purpose to watching it for people who mostly care about the big plot points rather than the journey. After all, we know her powers, see her first accidental transformation into full kraken mode, see the villain’s super mode reveal, get it confirmed that it ends with a kaiju fight, see how superfluous the love interest will be, etc. like that. When people talk about trailers showing the whole movie, this could actually be used as a textbook example of it... With one exception: How it does it also easily facilitates fandom interaction. The main designs are shown fairly clearly, with their variants being shown as well so artists don’t have to fill in the gaps left out by lack of references, the plot of the movie is clear so you can take educated guesses on what they’ll do so the movie won’t as easily contradict fanfiction made before it, etc. like that. Hell, you could just try to write a fanfic that’s effectively the movie with those guesses. It’d be like those cheap knock offs of hyped up movies like “Atlantic Rim” that you would find in old video rental places. I... I swear I’m 26 (one month away from my birthday to the day actually which is actually pure coincidence). So... Here’s the multiple levels of thought in full: This idea is neat. I like monster girls and monster girls trying to fit into human society is something I’ve enjoyed enough to write multiple times in multiple ways! The last book I released had a dryad in it even. Oh! Yeah, this antagonist and protagonist actually have great potential for a sapphic romance and we KNOW how much I love those. My first proper length novel, instead of novella, was based on a popular werewolf girl falling for a nerdy human girl after all. You do know so much though that you could try to take the same premise and flip it in time for the movie to come out. Books would have a way easier time with a deadline of ‘this Summer’ than making a movie yourself though. You’d have to be able to pump out a whole book’s worth of chapters in like a week, let alone if you don’t have practice with mermaids. Of course, I am well documented as having experience writing mermaids, and even more hostile ones at that. With all that said... There’s MORE than enough differences between Ruby Gillman and the story percolating in my head right now. There won’t be a race based rivalry, it’ll be focused on a romance rather than shoving it in there because apparently it needs one (that’s really how the trailer makes it feel for Gillman) and just the shift from the two being entirely against each other from go to actually working together and getting closer inherently requires a very different story. As well as the fact that a book can’t get away with the main character being blue and people just theoretically ignoring it (I’m curious what the explanation for that will be) and the fact that a kraken might be hated while a mermaid is loved in the world has already led to worldbuilding that will play into the romance, the climax, themes and character arcs. This also isn’t me trying to say “I’m gonna outdo Dreamworks!” It’s more my silly way of announcing a new project I’m going to try and focus on and try to get done in like two-three months. I know I can more than easily do it if I can get my mind to work with me so... we’ll see but my mind is excited and I think it’s a fun, silly experiment. I am a little sad that it means I likely won’t be writing fanfiction for the movie before it comes out though like I did with Wenclair and Wednesday. Again, I think Ruby and Chelsea already have a good possible dynamic together but my job as a professional writer takes precedence unfortunately.

[norbezjones]

Bez Reviews Independent Books 4: HIS BODY, HER CHOICE

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NorbezJones on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Bluesky, Pillowfort, Threads, Instagram, and Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

__________

Technically this isn’t a book, it’s a short story, but screw it—my reviews, my rules, motherfucker!  While perusing the new books on itch.io, I found a debut by an author named Huckleberry Watts called “HIS BODY, HER CHOICE”.  This is a book who is only on sale from December 1st, 2024 to January 20th, 2025, and all proceeds go to Planned Parenthood.  The story is described as, “graphic torture exacted upon an incel by a young woman named Daisy Skipp. This is not a complex story, there is nil in terms of character development. This is extreme horror through and through.”  Take that as your warning for what this review will discuss.

It’s also noted that the story was “written in the days immediately following the outcome of the 2024 U.S Presidential Election.”  The title makes that especially obvious.  For those who are unaware, once Donald Trump was elected present again, right-wing pundit and straight-up Nazi Nicholas Fuentes responded by tweeting out, “Your body, my choice.  Forever.”  This is referencing the pro-choice phrase, “My body, my choice,” which is used to basically say, “It’s my body, so I have the right to choose to get an abortion.”  Fuentes is reversing the phrase and saying, “Now that Republicans rule the government, we’ll make sure abortion rights are stripped, and you will no longer have any choice but to give birth, even if it kills you,” and also, “I as a man have the right to a woman’s body, regardless of whether or not she gives consent.”

“HIS BODY, HER CHOICE” basically asks the question, “What if a woman tortured an incel who may or may not be Nicholas Fuentes?”  If I may quote the author’s note, “[T]he incel twerp Nicholas in my story is in no way based on real-life incel twerp: Nicholas Fuentes. However, if it would bring you peace to imagine incel twerp Nicholas Fuentes on that slab then you do that. Protect your peace.”  Basically, plausible deniability.

What I didn’t expect going into this is that our main character Daisy actually streams the torture to a live audience.  This leads to input from the chat from time to time (especially at the very end), and some unique aspects of streaming, like when Daisy polls the audience to decide whether she’s going to drill into Nick’s left knee or cut off his right leg.  It’s a neat element that adds a lot to the story.

I really like that Daisy is truly a person, and not a supervillain.  She has to take a break from her torture to hype herself up and use her inhaler—to quote the book, “Twenty-seven, asthmatic, riddled with anxiety – life was fucking hard.”  She gets nervous when cutting off Nick’s leg turns bloodier than she expected, and has second thoughts about this whole torture thing once the limb is removed.  Sure, she’s in control a lot of the time, but sometimes she’s not, and those moments really shine.  She’s not some stone-faced torturer who’s 100% confident all the time, nor is she completely sadistic.  She’s a human like you or me, and I love that.

The descriptions are well done—the torture scenes especially make great use of alliteration & figurative language.  I especially like Watts’ use a similes, like in this line: “‘So, does anybody here know what electroejaculation is?’ she asked brightly and enthusiastically as if she were teaching pre-schoolers how to count to ten.”

If I had some criticisms, I would say that comma splicing happens quite a bit, such as in the sentence, “His eyes were shut, he was still asleep.”  There are also moments where there should be a comma, but there isn’t one.  These things don’t take too much away from the work, but they’re worth mentioning.

Lastly, I want to say that I can definitely empathize with writing about torturing people who have hurt you, even indirectly.  Without going into too much detail, it’s something I’ve written about privately a few times before.  Sometimes I bring it to my public work—for example, Desperate FleshEater has an ending where the main character angrily slaughters his abusive mother who assaulted him.  That game is directly based on real events and my real assault by my own mother.  What I’m basically trying to say is: I’m the last person to judge this kind of thing, and honestly, I welcome it more than anything.  It’s healthier and more beneficial for you to channel your anger into a creative work instead of spewing it at people around you.  There is catharsis in using creativity to express rage, and in that way, I am glad that this story exists.

If you want to purchase “HIS BODY, HER CHOICE” and support Planned Parenthood, you can do so here.  It’s only available until January 20th, 2025, so hurry!  Go get it! The next review will hopefully be out before the end of the month—I’ll be taking a look at The Last Bread Mage by M. Kirin!

[bicth-and-in-that-order]

I’m back—I have more to say

6. I’m in Love with the Villainess by Inori

Oh god💀

So the hot new yuri on the block is “I’m in Love with the Villainess” and while I lament that the femme blonde is back, the dark hair girl isn’t that masc so I’ll give it that.

What to say about this yuri, what to say, what to say…I have very conflicted feelings about this yuri because on the one hand, it has incredible highs and the main character deeply resonated with me on a personal level. On the other hand, however, it contains some of the worst, most disgusting tropes I’ve ever had the displeasure of reading.

Well, that’s enough beating around the bush, let’s get into it. So I’m not going to keep saying “I’m in Love with the Villainess”, and “IiLwtV” is too awkward for an acronym so it’ll be shortened to “Villainess Love” from here on out. So Villainess Love is unique in that it’s an isekai yuri; a depressed as hell 20-something office lady named Rae gets reincarnated into her favorite dating sim game. The thing about her and what is indeed the namesake of this yuri is that while the dating sim is centered around 3 princes for the romance options, Rae only has eyes for Claire, the tsundere villainess character. She goes out of her way to ignore the 3 princes to pursue Claire, and just like Rae, this will be the last time I mention them💀

By far the best part of this story is how it plays with both the isekai and dating sim tropes by having Rae not only be self aware of the world she’s in, but have this encyclopedia knowledge of the game, which she uses to her advantage to get close with Claire. Rae herself is a very comedic, over-zealous character, announcing her love to Claire within the first few pages of the story and having masochist-levels of enjoyment from getting tormented by her. Of course, there’s more to her going on underneath, which gives her a level of complexity, but I’ll get into that later. Claire, meanwhile, is a VERY typical rich girl tsundere character, she’s so by the numbers that I don’t even need to go into her personality. She literally does the “oh ho ho ho” laugh unironically and has generic sad anime backstory #55: “my mother is dead”. I believe this was done with intention though, since Rae will literally point out when she’s having her “dere” moments. In fact, their dynamic actually reminded me of the gag rom com manga “Maria Holic” and I wonder if that was a major source of inspiration for the author becuase the resemblances between the two are uncanny. With that being said, I didn’t find Claire to be all that interesting until their actual romance develops, which, let’s talk about that.

So out of all the yuri manga I’ve read, I actually found the romance between Rae and Claire to be the most compelling, yes, even more compelling than Beauty and the Beast Girl if you could imagine. This is because Villainess Love actually talks a great deal about homophobia and homosexuality in a real word context. Which is practically unheard of in a yuri manga:

I was so shocked by this, it actually caught me off guard to see a yuri acknowledge homophobia and heteronormativity in a way that didn’t begin and end with “we love each other but we’re giRLs🫣🫣🫣” . Rae acknowledges that she is in fact gay and that the gender of her lover is in fact important to her. This conversation will actually get expanded upon later when Rae opens up about her experiences as being a lesbian irl and getting ostracized for it in high school, which explains a lot of her behavior up until that point. And I will say that her story deeply resonated with me. Especially since I went through similar experiences as Rae and I also clamped about my gender preferences after I faced severe homophobia.

Rae’s story also reflects how keenly aware the author is of her audience, she knows us anime obsessed gays are reading her work and really leans hard into that aspect, not just for comedic purposes but for for character writing as well. It creates an organic reading experiences that will have most readers going “ah, I’ve been through that before” or “I know how she’s feeling” which is an incredible thing for a writer to pull off. Kudos.

Now, despite all the praise I’ve given Villainess Love thus far….I wouldn’t actually recommend to anyone, like at all. To talk fully about this aspect, I’ll have to go into heavy spoilers so, if you don’t mind then join me under the cut

So I want to preface this by saying the existence of these elements isn’t the problem, it’s how Villainess Love handles them which is the issue.

For whatever reason, the author thought introducing an incest storyline into the mix was a good idea, it adds nothing to the story and actively ruins one of the better characters, which is hugely disappointing, but whatever. The problem is this:

I’m willing to go out on a limb here and say that no, I don’t think the author’s intent was to claim that incest and homosexuality are on the same level. If you take into account that this world takes place during Victorian era England then categorically speaking, homosexuality was often referred to as “forbidden love” , Oscar Wilde can attest to as much, and while I don’t think that modern Japanese lesbian Rae should’ve given this speech, it’s not the worst of the worst. No that belongs to the lesbian rapist (sigh)

So Villaness Love bravely marches into the territory of rape and sexual assault and sadly doesn’t come out of it unscathed. Sometime after the incest plotline, a new character comes into the mix who is a distant relative of Claire’s and looks like a reject kase-san. To sum things up, her purpose in this story is to push Rae to confess to Claire by…threatening to rape her if Rae won’t do anything about her feelings :\

And , okay, if this is the direction the author wants to take the story then fine, but it’s handled so sloppily, and not once is this kase-san reject ever given consequences for her actions in the story. She just kind of pops up to be a “love” rival then leaves just as soon as she comes and then everyone pretends like Claire wasn’t just about to become a sexual assault victim.

A boring character or lame ass plotline is one thing, a story can bounce back from that. What it can’t bounce back from is having a poor message, especially when it comes to topics like rape and incest. Unfortunately, an otherwise adorable manga is marred by such distasteful story decisions that I didn’t even buy the physical copy for it and I got the physical copy for fucking kase san and Yamada so my standards are in hell, but this somehow goes even lower than that. And it sickens me so much to the point that I don’t even like watching the anime because I have to keep seeing that incest girl pop up on my screen, and be reminded of what a good character she used to be.

And it truly is such a shame because if not for the rape and incest, it would’ve been one of my favorite yuri manga of all time for the relatability of the main character and the social commentary alone. I wish I could give it all the praise in the world, but I cannot. My purpose here is not to detract you from reading this story, if none of what I said is a dealbreaker then be my guest, but I see this series praised a lot and while it’s well deserved in some regards, I want to be absolutely 100% transparent with Villainess Love. So yeah those are my thoughts byeeee

Rambling thoughts of various Yuri manga I’ve read

1. Kase-San and Yamada (Morning Glories sequel series) by Hiromi Takashima

notice how Kase’s name is first, which is representative of her being the main one to cause problems in their relationship

If you asked me what my favorite yuri manga was like 2-3 years ago, I’d say Morning Glories and Kase San everytime. Every avid yuri fan has either read or watched Morning Glories because, at the time in 2010, it was groundbreaking, and I stand by the fact that the original series still holds up to this day. It was cute, sweet, wholesome and only had a few obligatory “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” moments. Most of all it wasn’t a pseudo-incest-straight-male-porn-pandering-garbage-fest—also known as “Citrus”. Was it cliche at times? Yes, but they all are lol. Did they add to the dumb ass “blonde femme and dark hair butch” trope? Also yes. But it was adorable and it was my first ever yuri so it holds a special place in my heart.

And it SEEMED like it was only going to get better in Kase San and Yamada, the sequel. The girls would be heading to college and the story could theoretically focus on more mature topics while they navigate their new relationship. Keyword: theoretically. Unfortunately, instead of exploring interesting relationship dynamics and storylines, the plot of each story arc boils down to: Kase is insecure because a man breathed next to Yamada or Kase is being completely insensitive to Yamada’s feelings…again…—> ✨miscommunication drama ✨—>big over dramatic apology scene—>boring makeup sex or other romantic gesture.

Literally that’s how every single plotline goes. Kase is so goddamn dumb and insensitive to Yamada’s feelings and Yamada’s a complete doormat who can only stay mad for 0.2 seconds before getting pussy whipped like a spineless ass bitch. And for all that Yamada sacrifices for Kase; her hometown, her dreams, her apartment, what does she get in return from Kase? Oh that’s right; bare minimum romantic gestures and a neglectful partner who can’t even call her “girlfriend” in front of others:

Like I thought we were over this shit. It’s been THREE years of them together, a whole anime production, and god knows how many irl years and we’re going back to “we love each other but we’re giRLs😳😳😳” WHY???

And then Kase later goes onto bet her entire three year relationship over the ugly bitch in the next panel, so now I’m questioning whether or not Kase even loves Yamada with the amount of bullshit she’s put her through. Which COULD be an interesting plot point, but Kase never gets any consequences for her actions and the creator genuinely thinks this is romantic and full of tension so I’m 10000% positive that this arc, just like all the others, will end with some makeup sex and we’ll be right back to step 1. Sigh.

2. Tamen De Gushi by Tan Jiu

Tamen De Gushi’s problems are interesting because it’s entirely because of the Chinese government

So today’s dark haired butch and blonde femme of the day are Sun Jing and Qiu Tong, respectively. Their personalities aren’t anything to write home about, if you read ANY high school yuri romance, then you know exactly what happens in this story beat for beat. But, BUT, however derivative it is, I find their dynamic very endearing and down to earth. Idk maybe it’s just the translation, but other yuri stories often have this very inauthentic “anime” vibe to it. Which is to say the characters act very cutesy, overly dramatic, and have this stilted, caricature-esque acting of how the creator thinks teenage girls are supposed act.

However, I’m happy to report that Tamen De Gushi is a breath of fresh air in this regard. The characters and interactions they have are grounded and feel organic, which makes them feel like real people, not aliens pretending to be human. This really elevates the humor in turn, oh did I mention that Tamen De Gushi is super funny? Because Tamen De Gushi is super funny, here’s one of my favorite panels and it’s all because of Sun Jing’s goofy ahh expression:

Like go girl give us nothing

If you’re wondering why I haven’t spoke much about the actual romantic relationship between the girls, that’s because there isn’t one💀 Which, okay, that’s not a fair assessment, they have a ton of romantic tension and they flirt a lot. It’s certainly building to a great romantic relationship, but it can’t quite get there due to legal/political reasons sadly. 😔

For some background information, Tamen De Gushi isn’t actually a Japanese manga, but a Chinese Manhua, still a comic, but the distinction is important to make because the censorship laws in China are a lot more restrictive of lgbt+ content than in Japan. Allegedly, the creator was told by the government to cease all explicit lgbt+ content “or else”. Which is why, after they share their big lesbian kiss towards the middle of the story, that’s kind of it. You’re stuck waiting for something to develop, but nothing really happens. The comic very quickly becomes a collection of slice of life segments and cute pictures that imply a relationship between the girls, but not really ;) ;).  Now things are just kind of left in purgatory for the foreseeable future and, well, that’s Tamen De Gushi y’all.

Compared to Kase San and Yamada, the characters were much better, which is not saying much, but without an actual romantic storyline, there’s just not a lot for me to comment on to be honest. It’s really pretty though, look at this art :

3. Beauty and the Beast Girl by Neji

my personal favorite and the BEST yuri I ever read

So next on the list is Beauty and the Beast Girl (I’m going to abbreviate to BatBG from here on) , which I already spoiled my feelings on the matter so this will basically be me gushing about this story for several paragraphs straight, enjoy.

Contrary to what the title suggests, it really has nothing to do with Beauty and the Beast’s story except in name. The main girls are Lily Blind, who is actually fucking blind 💀 and Heath the monster girl. Already I’m happy because instead of blonde femme and dark hair butch, it’s blonde femme and of-course-you-have-purple-hair-and-pronouns butch. Lol, all jokes aside, Lily, unlike her blonde femme counterparts is quite assertive and voices her opinions all the time. In fact, she’s the one who pushes Heath to be more open and communicate with her rather than the other way around. This is, in part, due to the story BatBG is trying to tell. I say BatBG is in name only to Beauty and the Beast because Lily isn’t trying to find the “beauty” within Heath or learning to love a beast or whatever, she’s fine just the way she is and her love for Heath is unconditional. Plus the only thing beastly about Heath is her appearance…which I’ll harp on later, but her behavior is in no way different from a regular human except in very rare, specific moments.

At its heart, BatBG is a story about forgiveness (the creator literally says as much) , but it’s also about the cycle of violence that results from being outcasted and deprived of love. BatBG is set in a world of humans and monsters, where the monsters are outcasted and either have to stay away from human society like Heath or assimilate themselves by hiding away their monster like traits, which is a really queer narrative on top of an already queer story. I don’t want to go into too much spoilers, but sometime before the beginning of the story, Heath in-directly hurts Lily before they ever meet. However, it’s not about Lily needing to forgive Heath, or trying to get over the pain she inflicted upon her, rather its Heath learning to forgive herself and in effect, learning to love herself as much as Lily loves her.

Another big aspect of BatBG is disabilities, Lily Blind is in fact Blind lol and while there are times she struggles with her blindness, she never views her disability as something she needs to be ashamed of and never, ever, blames Heath for it or holds it against her unlike what many, many, many, many other stories end up doing. Her blindness isn’t treated like a super power either, it’s a legitimate disability. She just accepts that it’s a part of her and goes onto say that if not for her blindness, she would’ve never met the love of her life, which I found to be an incredibly profound thing to say.

Now that I’ve gotten this far, I suppose I can add a bit of a disclaimer. So BatBG is waaaaay more explicit about the physical affection between the girls than in any of the previous stories I talked about. Heath and Lily are constantly kissing on, hugging, and almost always flirting with each other, and make no mistake, these girls do be fucking. The sex scenes are never perverted or gross, but genuinely super sweet and romantic, which makes it way hotter imo (huh imagine that🤔). And aside from being hot, it also serves a purpose! Lily’s pretty damn horny underneath all her nice girl antics and while it’s not a major part of her character, it does give a slight edge to her personality and, most importantly, balances out the dynamic between Heath and Lily. It would’ve been very easy to fall into that boring trope where Heath is aggressively horny and Lily is the submissive blind girl, but by making Lily be the one to initiate the sexual encounters, it not only compliments Heath’s more reserved nature, but breaks the stereotype that people with disabilities are pure precious being who couldn’t possibly have sex, which is ableist af btw. Many people think the existence of any sex scenes at all is superfluous, but in BatBG, it truly elevates the story, the characters, and the romance in ways that wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying without it.

Now, with as much praise I gave BatBG, there is one criticism I have, but it’s a quibble really, and it can be explained in a single image:

There is a dissonance between the story and the art, the story says: “Heath is a big, ugly scary monster”

The art says:

And like yes, it can be argued that Heath is simply regurgitating the things bigoted people have said to her, but at no point in the story is this ever challenged or brought up in any meaningful way. Lily is blind so she doesn’t know what the hell she looks like and the other characters aren’t any help either. It’s not a big deal or anything, it just would’ve elevated the story if Heath was actually kinda ugly/more monstrous and not incredibly beautiful because right now it’s giving skinny girl who calls herself fat all the time, and it’s like, babe, who tf are you fooling? 😭

Other than that, BatBG is incredibly profound despite its premise being so deceptively simple and I love it to pieces so …yeah! READ IT.

4. Superwomen in Love! Honey Trap and Rapid Rabbit by sometime

Well, at least there are no blondes

So imma just abbreviate to SiL btw

Alright, let’s get started. The premise is that a villainess falls for the super hero girl and then that plotline is dropped in about 16 pages. I’m not even joking, the villainess falls for the hero, loses her job as a villain and then joins the hero all in one chapter. The REAL plot is actually about a council of evil alien-humans who want to destroy humanity because of generic super villain reason #434: the leader of the aliens is sad and misunderstood :( I’m not even going to lie, I had 0 interest in “X” (the generic ass name of the main villain) and her band of useless lesbians. They did literally nothing in the story except be a nuisance and contribute to X’s incel breakdown at the end. Their inclusion actively made SiL worse because the story has this weird tonal problem where in one breath the villains are portrayed as complete jokes and then you turn the page and now they’re shooting children like girl what💀 And these useless lesbians hog sooooo much of SiL that desperately needed to be given to Honey trap and Hayate to develop their relationship.

When the story DOES actually focus on Honey Trap and Hayate, it’s pretty good, even cute at times, there just wasn’t enough time given to them to flesh their relationship out. As it stands, Honey Trap and Hayate don’t have much of a dynamic, or personality for that matter. Honey Trap’s main gimmick is that she’s extremely horny for Hayate and delulu:

Aside from that, she’s a great value version of Heath, but even a watered down character is better than, like, nothing. All I really know about Hayate is that she’s nice, heroic, likes wearing tacky clothes and ….that’s it. She loves Honey Trap because…………they fought together a few times so why not🤷‍♀️ I’d say at least that’s better than Tamen De Gushi, but actually it’s not because these grown ass women don’t even kiss , all we get is a love confession and their gremlin love child and that’s supposed to be satisfying I guess.

And the worst part is that SiL has the audacity to pretend the romance was something that it clearly wasn’t:

Girl…yall were “””enemies””” for 10 panels.

Now, it’s stated they have been rivals for a while, but I guess Honey Trap forgot all of that because the moment she sees Hayate’s face, my good sis is pussy whipped for life. And that’s in spite of apparently being the evilest one out of the evil group because Honey Trap has no grudge or baggage toward Hayate. She immediately turns good with no issues and Hayate is only distrustful of Honey Trap for 1 or 2 speech bubbles and then she’s not. Anything else that happened was off screen, which means it didn’t happen. Ironically, the very next entry on this list will do a MUCH better job at an ex-villain love story, but for SiL, there’s just not much going on.

Another reading of this story is to call it a “parody” but…no, it isn’t. SiL isn’t a comedy, yes there are comedic moments that poke fun of the genre, but the rest of the story genuinely wants you to take it seriously. Except it can’t. X and her league of dimwits are boring as piss and they oscillate between Saturday morning cartoon villains and child murderers seemingly on a whim. So I can neither be endeared to them nor take them as a serious threat. Honey Trap and Hayate are there, but I lament on all the potential lost from what could’ve been an amazing relationship.

5. Yamujiburo/Kianamaiart’s Hanamusa webcomic

This one is kind of cheating, but I also don’t care let me talk about hot MILFs💀

So the final entry on this list is a webcomic series by one of my fave artist: kianamaiart! And it’s right here on tumblr so check it out!

I stumbled upon this webcomic a few weeks ago, fell in love and now I want to talk about it. This yuri pair thankfully has no blonde femme in sight and instead features two popular Pokémon characters: Jessie from Team Rocket and Delia Ketchum, Ash Ketchum’s mom. What I love about this ship and the world Kiana creates around them is that it’s a very unconventional pairing. There’s just not many romances where a single mom falls in love with an ex gang member and the best part is, Delia being a mom is a big part of her character and she doesn’t ignore Ash in favor of her new relationship with Jessie. She has time for both and doesn’t prioritize one over the other, which many ppl fail to do even irl so good on you Delia!

Now, as for the romance it self, Jessie and Delia are a unique pair. Jessie’s overconfident, brash, drama queen personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “dominant” role and Delia’s sweet, motherly personality doesn’t automatically put her in the “submissive” role. Their dynamic in the webcomic actually plays out in the reverse, Jessie is the one who gets easily flustered and Delia’s…intense, to say the least:

(But Tbf if Delia looked at me like that I’d be at her beck and call too💀)

This subversion of these tropes creates a fun dynamic for the couple and it’s super adorable to see how their energies bounce off each other in each new situation Kiana puts them in. I also love how both Jessie and Delia inspire each other to live out their dreams and they become better versions of themselves by being together.

And one last thing, I don’t have any smart commentary to go along with this, I just really like this drawing of Jessie:

no thoughts, head empty

Final Thoughts

Soooo yeah, that’s the end of my dissertation on yuri comics. I know I ended up dragging a lot of popular yuri, but it wasn’t my intention to make you guys hate any of things I talked about. These were just my thoughts as an avid yuri fan, so let me know your thoughts as well, especially if you read any of the yuri I talked about. And even though I’m super picky about the type of yuri I read, I’d still love to hear any recommendations. Who knows, it might dethrone the undefeated champ that is Beauty and the Beast Girl.

[daisiesflower]

So some thoughts, hopes, theories for stranger things five. Not gonna tag this spoilers cause like it’s all coming from my own brain none of this is leaks or anything

I know the actor has claimed he isn’t but I wish Argyle would be coming back. And for more than like a guest character the way Suzy is, he was literally a main character of season 4 and if Robin could join the team permanently why not him

On that note I want him and Steve to be besties. I want Steve to have healthy male friendships of his own age but also it would be soooo funny cause Jonathan clearly still has petty beef with Steve after all this time but Steve’s totally moved on and considers Jonathan a friend and he would get along so well with Argyle, I think it would be hilarious because Jonathan would be fuming like he’s bitched to Argyle so much about this guy and Argyle is his best friend and now him and Steve are hitting it off. But he knows he doesn’t have any actual valid reason to be mad so he’s just really bitchy about it

Literally anything about Steve and Robin’s home lives. Literally anything. I am begging for scraps here.

I mean we all know Holly Wheeler’s going to go missing and play some important role in the plot. Is that even a question anymore. This one has always been a matter of when not if

I think there’ll be an episode of the Upside Down invading Hawkins using Vecna’s victims. Like I think it’ll be an episode dedicated to zombie flicks as characters come face to face with corpses of people who had major impacts on them and have to kill them all over again to protect Hawkins. I don’t think that’ll be part of the climax though I think it’ll be like mid-season to ramp up the stakes. Think that’s where we’ll get an Eddie cameo, think we’ll see Barb, we’ll see Billy, we’ll see Chrissy, Fred, Patrick, maaaybe Jason. The real question mark is Bob - he didn’t die in the Upside Down, his body was either completely eaten or it was moved by humans and buried so question mark whether Vecna has any control over him

As far as stancy vs jancy goes I want Nancy to end up single, with acknowledgments that none of them are in a place in their lives to be able to have relationships with each other for various reasons and an emphasis on stoncy moving on and coming together as friends. Most likely though I think jancy will end up together

Duffer bros are for sure going to kill someone off. Ideally for me it would be Jonathan (and I do have well thought out reasons if anyone wants them) but I don’t trust them to do that. Think it’s more likely to be Steve so that Nancy can be with Jonathan without guilt or whatever (would hate that)

I think the Duffer bros are invested in the romances they set up at the beginning of the show. The show started with mileven, jopper, and jancy so I think that’s how they’ll end it. Jancy I think is the most at risk due to them being very aware that Steve is more well-liked than Jonathan (by both general audience and themselves)

I so think Robin will be Will’s gay mentor. Cannot emphasize enough how much I Do Not Want This

I want Kali back. I know it’s not gonna happen. In my rewrite of Season 4 she joins the team permanently so she’s be there in Season 5. But unfortunately the Season 4 rewrite only exists in my head

I would love to see a Joyce-Robin team up. They struggle with so many of the same issues that I would love to see them find strength in each other. Plus Robin could use an adult figure in her life since she apparently doesn’t have parents (sarcasm). I feel like maybe I saw a pic of Maya and Winona filming so this could become a reality but it could also be my hopeful subconscious making shit up

I want Murray and Erica in the same grouping for an extended period of time. With Lucas there because I don’t want Murray alone with her (yikes) and also for the good good Sinclair sibling interactions. Max and Robin can pop in occasionally. I just want like sixteen straight hours of this man being bullied by teen and preteen girls. Would love to see a moment of Sinclair bickering and then Murray steps in and it becomes “oh hell no, no one gets to bully my sibling except me”

I want the season to start with a grouping of Max, Steve, and El. I love the Steve-Max relationship (he’s so older brother coded to her) and I feel like we’ve gotten little hints that Steve and El are close, that he considers her one of his little nuggets but we’ve never actually seen that

On that note I think it’d be funny if we make it through five straight seasons without Will and Steve interacting once

I want Nancy and Mike to find out about their mom nearly hooking up with Billy. It feels so weird and random to include as a plot point if nothing ever comes of it and neither of her kids ever find out. I think it could work for Nancy to find out in order to help her maybe make a decision about her future and her relationships, to really cement what she’s known all along which is that she doesn’t want to end up like her parents. I think for Mike it would affect his friendship with Max, I think he wouldn’t know how to behave about it and it would make thinks difficult between them for a bit

On a similar note I want Mike to have some time away from Will and El. Spend some time with Lucas and Max. He has other relationships that also impact his life besides just those two (even if they are arguably the most important)

I don’t think it really matters what grouping Dustin ends up in since he’ll be awesome no matter what. But since they’re obviously going to make the Wheelers more important, I want sixteen straight hours of him bullying Ted Wheeler

Actually since I also want Dustin and Erica being besties, let’s make that the foursome of the season. Dustin, Erica, Murray, and Ted Wheeler. Just Dustin and Erica bullying these middle aged men who also hate each other - Ted regularly calls Murray a communist and a kook (despite literal proof of other dimensions being right in front of him) and Murray hates him for voting for Reagan

I think that there will be like no reference to Russians. Firstly because this season is gonna be very centralized in Hawkins, I don’t see any plot points that aren’t about Hawkins’ direct focus happening. But also because the Duffers are quite good at listening to audience critiques and adjusting in ways that give the audience what they want without sacrificing their story. And last season they know damn well that the Russia plotline was the least favorite of anyone and that in Season 3 the only reason it was a favorite was due to the grouping of characters

I think Dustin’s plot and character specifically will be inspired by Eddie’s death in the way Nancy’s was by Barb. I wish with all of my being that this would be Mike’s story since he makes the most sense to idolize and emulate Eddie but alas I doubt that will happen. One day I’ll write a post about this. That day is not today

On the one hand I don’t trust them not to kill Steve. On the other hand, killing Steve means he can’t be used in any kind of spin-off…much to consider

I highly doubt byler will happen. I think it’s more likely the season ends for Will the same way Season 4 ended for Robin. I think he’ll spend the season learning to move on from Mike, then in like the second to last scene of the show will meet and bond with some random guy also implied to be gay with the clear subtext that this is Will’s future boyfriend

I want Tommy H and Carol back. I miss them

[ltleflrt]

Hey Carrie! You talked a little the other day about writers' tendency to start a fic too early in the story, and how you see a lot of first scenes that could have been scrapped to improve the story. My question is if you have some tips to recognize while writing that first scene that you are starting too early in the story?

Hello friend!

That's a really good question, and I'll see if I can give an answer that makes sense. I am not a professional, and I'm not educated or trained in this stuff, it's just something that I recognize from years and years and years of voracious reading. And as with all writing advice, I encourage you to take what I'm going to say with a grain of salt and remember that no writing rule is a hard rule, only a guideline.

Also, my advice is going to be pertaining fanfiction, and specifically to AUs. Obviously a published book has an editor with a razor blade going through a manuscript for you, and the problems that bother me in fanfiction crop up in AUs more than Canonverse.

Oh, and every instance of "you" is general, not specific 😜

So I think the main problem that I see is that people are starting with an Info Dump. An Info Dump is not always a bad thing, sometimes it's completely necessary, but it is NOT where you want to start your story. If it absolutely has to be done, it's better to be somewhere in the middle or near the end. When it's something that your characters need to know.

That's an important bit: Do your characters need to know this?

And related to that: Does your audience need to know this for the story to make sense?

And very important follow up: If the answers to the above questions are yes, does the character/audience need to know this RIGHT NOW?

There's a lot of information about your story that YOU need to know. Heck, my notes files are full of sooooooo much stuff that I know about the characters and plot that never reaches the final product.

So when you're reading your first chapter (I say reading, not writing, because sometimes info dumping for your own benefit is good, and then you fix it before you share the story lol), ask yourself those two questions.

So for example:

In an AU where Dean is a tattoo artist, and it's his POV. The story starts with Dean driving to work, and when he gets there he's going to find out that the empty shop next door has been purchased and is going to be a yoga studio. He meets Castiel out front, up on a ladder trying to hang a hand painted sign, and some teens go running buy and knock into the ladder and Dean has to catch Castiel from falling. (Anyone who wants to adopt this idea is welcome to it btw, I would love to read this lol)

The mistake I often see in a first chapter like this is that as Dean is walking to work, there's a whole Info Dump about why he's a tattoo artist instead of a hunter. He'll be ambling along, thinking about his nice little business, and there's info about how his mom died in a fire, and his dad was a jerk, and Dean didn't go to college because he saved his money for Sammy's college fund, and Dean's only passion was art, and Bobby Singer introduced him to a tattoo shop owner who took Dean under his wing, etc.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: Why is Dean reflecting on his past? Does Castiel need to know this information in order to build a romance with Dean?

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Why does this information matter? If Dean's only reflecting on this because you want to make sure your audience knows where the timeline changed and this became an AU, then you're starting too early in your story. Dean doesn't need to know this, and honestly in a lot of cases the reader doesn't need to know this. This is information that should have been left in your notes file.

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: If this information is pertinent to the plot, like maybe there's some trauma there that Castiel might need to know about to develop their relationship, then you don't want to put it HERE, you want to put it in a conversation with Castiel LATER.

If I was writing this AU, I would just start with Dean sipping his coffee, he's kinda tired because reasons, he looks up to see an unusual commotion, and has to drop his coffee and sprint forward to catch Cas. If he's reflecting on anything in this scene, it's going to be whatever made him tired, or how good/bad the coffee is this morning. Since Cas is a new business owner, they can talk about the origins of Dean's business on their first date, because it'll be a relevant response to Castiel talking about the origins of his yoga studio.

And just in general, if Dean's origin story includes a lot of canon elements, like mom dying in a fire, dad being a deadbeat, Sammy being the adorable overachieving Stanford student.... try to hide that info for as long as you can so that the audience is actually curious about it by the time the info might pop up. It's the wild divergences that are more interesting earlier on.

Okay, and then I want to talk about my giant pet peeve for a starting chapter. It's a specific kind of info dump, that often includes the stuff from above, but then goes a step further.

My nemesis, The Daily Grind.

I haven't asked the authors, so I could be wrong about this, but I feel like most of the time when this type of chapter is included in a story it is because the author wants to show the reader that the character's life is boring and meaningless before the plot's inciting incident. I can absolutely see why that might be considered an important detail about the character, but keep in mind if it's boring and meaningless to the character, it's boring and meaningless to your audience.

You know how I said earlier that writing tips should never be hard and fast rules? Well this is in regards to that Show Don't Tell rule, and it's an example of TOO MUCH showing lol

It is possible to do a daily grind in an interesting way, but only if you include a Shake Up right away. And you have to look at the 3 questions a little bit differently.

So for example:

Castiel POV, and he works in an office. His daily routine is to always get up at the same time every day, he goes for his run, he grooms himself, he has his breakfast, he goes to work and talks to Kelly about how Jack's doing in kindergarten for a few minutes before going into his office. Adler comes in to be a prick, Castiel hates him for it, and then he does his reports, has lunch hiding in a corner of the lunch room so that his co-workers will leave him alone, he does more reporting, leaves an hour after his shift technically ends, goes home to a lonely apartment that maybe includes a pet who is the only being that shows him affection, has an unsatisfying dinner of leftover takeout while watching a mindless reality tv show, then he goes to bed.

Ugh.

BORING.

Which, yeah I get it, the point is that his life is boring. But now the story is too, and I've clicked the back button before I can see how exciting it's capable of getting.

Question 1, does your character need to know this?: No. He knows. Poor thing definitely already knows.

Question 2, does your audience need to know this?: Yes, but...

Question 3, does the character/audience need to know this NOW?: Yes, but new question for ya:

Optional Question 4, why does this need to be separate from your plot's inciting incident? The answer to this 4th question is usually that it doesn't.

Chapter 2 of this type of beginning usually shows the shake up of Castiel's day. My advice is to start with the shakeup, and sprinkle in the details of what you would have put into chapter 1 to show the contrast. It's far more interesting to learn how boring Castiel's day is by starting with the shake up.

So, same scenario:

Castiel's alarm doesn't go off for some reason, OH NO HIS ROUTINE IS SHAKEN UP! You're explaining his routine while also stressing him the fuck out because he has to rush, or skip something that he normally needs to do. Action! Interesting! He gets to work late, and has to miss his conversation with Kelly about Jack because she's telling him that Adler's already in his office being a prick because Castiel isn't there waiting for him like he always is. Oh shit, he's pissing off his asshole boss! Conflict! He's so flustered by the shakeups that he misses something on his report, and he gets a call from that new marketing guy Dean Winchester who asks if they can have a meeting about it when Castiel normally takes his lunch. BAM! MEET CUTE OPPORTUNITY! While Castiel is getting all flustered by how pretty Dean is while they talk about TPS reports, he can reflect on how this is both better and worse than hiding from his co-workers in the corner of the lunch room. The rest of the day after that meeting he's thinking about how weird this day is, he still goes home an hour late, he talks to his pet about his weird day when he gets home, and maybe he still eats leftover takeout, but he's not paying attention to the reality tv show because holy shit he wants to count Dean's freckles.

In this example, you're Telling the audience about Castiel's normal routine instead of Showing them. But since it's during a plot heavy chapter, it works!

Lemme see if I can TL:DR this...

As you're reading, ask yourself who needs to know this information, why do they need to know this information, and why is it important for this information to be included early instead of later?

If the answer to any of those questions boils down to "this is backstory" instead of "this kicks off the plot", then you've started too early.

I hope this helps? I'm always nervous about giving writing advice because so much of the time I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm just feeling around in the dark. And I definitely do not ever want to hurt an author's feelings, because this hobby is so fucking hard, and we're all fragile. Even authors who welcome con-crit with open arms will have a weak point that they're unaware of that might get poked wrong and cause a crack, ya know?

I hope anyone who gets this far who might see their own works reflected in my examples understands that I have a lot of respect for their ability to put their work out into the world, and I want them to keep doing it. We're here to have fun, okay? Okay. I love y'all 💜

[spencers-renaissance]

The Other Side of the Storm

Summary: Spencer & Luke are not out as a couple but have to attend the same FBI gala where a young, pretty agent insists on flirting with Luke. Misunderstandings and surprising reveals ensue.

Tags: relationship reveal, secret relationship, coming out, jealousy, caught, hurt/comfort, autistic spencer, angst with a happy ending, misunderstandings, found family, est. rel., cuddling & snuggling, domestic fluff

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 2.7k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Lets pretend I didn't just disappear for a couple of weeks bc I'm BACK now yay! This is written for a prompt from @ralvezhq who asked: "Ralvez is already dating but no one knows about them yet. they get invited to some sort of FBI gala and a young, accomplished female agent won’t stop flirting with luke and spencer is absolutely not having it so he finds a way to let everyone know they are together." -- I stuck to it except that they're caught rather than willingly confessing, I hope that's okay! I really enjoyed this one, so I hope you do as well.

!!!TW: the woman is very insistent on her flirting and makes Luke uncomfortable when she touches his chest without his consent!!!

“Any particular reason you keep looking over at that table full of Fugitive Task Force members, Spence?” JJ asks amusedly, sipping from her wine glass.

“Mm, I’ve noticed you looking over there a little bit,” Tara muses. “You got your eye on someone?”

Spencer looks down and forces a laugh, but he can feel the tips of his ears turning pink, and knows that he’s not gonna hear the end of this for the rest of the night. The team have never been fond of the FBI Galas they’re forced into attending every year, and unfortunately, Hotch’s usual stunt of pulling a non-urgent case from the stack and jetting off to some far-flung corner of the country to avoid it failed to fool the director this time.

He’d broken the news to them at the start of the week, and conversation in the bullpen has pretty much exclusively revolved around the event ever since. Even Penelope, who loves seeing people win awards and dressing up in her favourite full-glam outfits, has been significantly less upbeat. She only gave him one spontaneous hug all week.

None of them, though, have been dreading it more than Spencer. The others aren’t exactly fond of the faux smiles and convoluted politics and fake niceties either, sure, but tonight he has far more to lose than ever before. Namely, the man sat just out of his direct eye line at the Fugitive Task Force table.

Ironically, he and Luke had gotten ready for the same event together. They’d stood in the mirror side by side and tied one another’s ties in the way that always makes Spencer smile and Luke had gently brushed his hair out of eyes, but when it came time to leave, Spencer called a rideshare, and Luke drove the truck, arriving at completely different times in completely different vehicles.

The thing is, that as much as he loves his team, and as much as the FBI fraternisation policy has been significantly relaxed over the last few years, no one can know they’re together and have been for the last eight months.

Even the thought of Derek or Hotch or even JJ finding out — not only that he’s dating someone but that that person is a man — makes him feel queasy.

Which is why he smiles around an awkward cough and forces himself to meet the eyes of his profiler teammates, fighting every instinct in him to run, leg it out of here, never show your face again.

“No, I’m just looking at the clock above them,” he lies, and it isn’t smooth in any way shape or form but it’ll have to do. “You know I can’t wait for this to end. I haven’t read any Carl Jung in weeks.”

Tara laughs, raising her wine glass slightly. “Now that I understand.”

“Nah, I’m not so sure,” Derek grins slyly, “I think my man has his eye on some girl and he’s just getting a little shy, am I right, pretty boy?” He quirks an eyebrow playfully, leaning over to pat him on the back, and Spencer scrambles to recover.

“Believe whatever you’d like, Morgan,” he says, bringing his own glass to his lips to conceal any tells in his expression. “Doesn’t make it any less false.”

Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted by the Director clearing his throat into the mic on the stage as he introduces the next round of awards. Spencer loses himself in the anonymity of a dark room and a clapping audience, grateful that he’s avoided this round of interrogation.

The rest of the night progresses similarly. Spencer tries to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table — and valiantly attempts to keep from blushing like a schoolgirl when their eyes meet and Luke’s lips quirk upwards in an I-tried-to-stop-it-but-I-just-can’t kind of smile — and the rest of his team rib him pretty relentlessly about this ‘girl’ he supposedly has his eye on.

Hotch tries to get the team to leave him alone, but when a group of skilled, determined profilers all a little tipsy on wine and champagne encounter a friend’s mysterious love life, it’s pretty difficult to stand in their way.

Once dessert is served, though, things rapidly go downhill.

As much as he’s been trying to keep his eyes away from Luke’s table, it’s almost impossible to prevent his gaze from straying in a temporary moment of cognitive lapse every now and then, and while everyone is relatively quiet and occupied, digging into the Belgian waffle dessert, it happens once again. This time, though, instead of a small smile from Luke, he’s rewarded with the frankly heart-stopping sight of a young, pretty agent practically sitting in his lap, trying to feed him dessert.

He looks uncomfortable, and immediately Spencer is hit with an overwhelming wave of insecurity, jealousy, and an urge to protect that strangles his breath for a moment. He stares unabashedly, no longer caring whether anyone sees him because that’s his boyfriend and an extremely pretty woman is all over him and he looks like he wants her to stop, and oh my god, what does he do?

“Is that the girl you like all over that dude?” Derek asks sympathetically, catching onto Spencer’s staring. “It’s alright, man, if she’d choose someone else over you then she’s not right for you anyway. Why don’t you come and enjoy your dessert?”

Spencer senses the rest of the team’s eyes on him, but they don’t say anything, probably from a combination of pity, awkwardness, and confidence in Derek to counsel him through it. He’s hardly cognisant of that, though, instead a roar of emotion crashing through his mind, and he has no idea what to do about it.

When he sees a perfectly manicured hand land directly on Luke’s chest, though; when he sees Luke reject her more firmly, this time pushing her away; when he watches as she clearly gears herself up for some sad protest of self-victimisation, he sees red.

Before he can stop himself, he’s storming across the room over to Luke’s table. “Hi,” he says firmly, audibly pissed off and not in the mood for bullshit, “do you mind if I borrow my friend here? I have some official FBI business to discuss with him. Thanks.”

Without waiting for a response, he grabs Luke’s arm and leads him to the corridor outside the main hall, Luke following quickly and willingly behind him.

“Are you okay?” Spencer asks with his brow furrowed, his hand coming up to gently rest on Luke’s waist as he peers at him concernedly through the dim lighting of the hallway.

“Yes, baby, I’m fine,” Luke smiles reassuringly, raising a hand to Spencer’s face. “I’m sorry you had to see that. She was… persistent.”

“She shouldn’t have made you uncomfortable like that,” Spencer insists, still feeling distressed and anxious despite the immediate situation having been diffused.

“You’re right,” Luke agrees. “And she should’ve listened to me when I told her I was taken. I’m sorry you had to see someone flirting with me so openly like that, carinõ, I know you still get insecure about things like that.”

Spencer sighs, relaxing slowly the more he hears Luke’s voice as steady and strong and kind as it always is. He steps forward and buries his face in Luke’s neck as he nestles in close for a comforting hug.

“You know I only have eyes for you, right, sweetheart?” Luke whispers softly, one arm holding his waist and another tangling itself in Spencer’s loose curls.

He nods into Luke’s neck, but doesn’t make any move to pull away, just enjoying the warmth and closeness of standing so intimately with the man he loves until—

“Spencer!” Derek’s voice pulls him violently from his sweet escape from reality and horror instantly floods him as he jerks away from Luke, staring at Derek in a nauseating mixture of alarm and trepidation.

“What…” Derek stares right back at him as both JJ and Tara come tumbling through the doors behind him, looking ready for a fight—

Oh. That makes sense. They all saw him storming towards a woman they thought he had a crush on, then pull the man she was flirting with out into the most secluded corridor surrounding the hall. Even considering Spencer’s character, he has to admit that the circumstances definitely look like he was gearing up for a fight, and everyone knows that he is not the kind of person who could hold his own against an ex-military man who chases down criminals for a living.

“You’re… not fighting him,” Derek says hesitantly, the puzzle pieces clearly falling into place for him.

Spencer shakes his head minutely, and is only thankful when Luke inches closer and wraps an arm around him. After all, he has nothing more to lose.

“You were looking at him, not her,” Derek continues slowly.

Spencer nods, unable to meet the eyes of any of the three friends standing in front of him.

“You’re dating him,” he says, still sounding shocked, his voice almost entirely numb. “You’re gay.”

“Or bisexual,” Tara offers, and Spencer takes a little comfort in the fact that she doesn’t sound shocked or upset, her voice warm and helpful. He tries to meet her eye, but he can’t work up the courage and buries closer into Luke’s embrace instead.

“Gay,” he whispers.

“Spence,” JJ says quietly, earnestly, “why didn’t you tell us?”

It’s too much to go into right now, too convoluted and long of a story for him to explain when even choking out a single syllable takes a herculean effort, so he shrugs instead.

“We were talking all night assuming you were interested in a woman,” Derek says numbly, more to himself than anything, but Spencer watches out of the corner of his eye as he shakes off the shock and comes back to himself, slowly putting more of the puzzle together as he looks at Spencer. “That’s why you didn’t tell us. We’ve been making assumptions all this time and hurting you in the process.”

“Oh, Spence,” JJ whispers sadly, stepping a little closer.

“I’m so sorry, pretty boy, I— I should’ve known or tried to be more inclusive at least, I’m so sorry I made you feel like this.”

The regret in his friends’ voices and the absence of a negative reaction brings him out of the safety of Luke’s arms slightly. His boyfriend is eyeing him with serious concern, and he tries a smile to reassure him a little, squeezing his hand.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he manages, clearing his throat awkwardly as he finally succeeds in making eye contact. “It’s a long story and I’ll tell you another time, but, uh​​— this is Luke. We’ve been together for eight months, two weeks, and four days.”

Luke smiles fondly. “As much as we didn’t expect to reveal it like this, it’s nice to meet all of you properly,” Luke says warmly, shaking everyone’s hands quickly before stepping back to Spencer and interlocking their fingers, pressing a quick but meaningful kiss to his temple.

“I’m really glad you felt able to share this with us, Spence,” Tara says encouragingly, smiling at him in that bright, reassuring way of hers that rivals Penelope in the warmth and comfort it radiates. “I’m proud of you.”

Something about her reaction this entire time has him wondering whether she already knew. He’ll ask her later when he feels less like his heart is still firmly lodged in his throat.

“Me too, kid,” Derek agrees, smiling as well. Spencer wonders whether the initial shock and numb reaction was more a response to his own behaviour than anything about him and Luke, and the thought makes him feel substantially better.

JJ grins, stepping forward and grabbing Spencer’s other hand. “Me three.”

Before anyone can say anything else, the doors are opening again and Penelope is flying through them.

“Oh! Thank god you’re all okay! You just ran off after Spencer and I left you guys to it because I thought you could handle it better than I could but then you didn’t come back and even Hotch was worried, and—” she cuts herself off as she realises everyone staring at her, and slowly she takes in the scene around her. “Oh my god, I’ve missed something. Oh my god, I missed a moment, didn’t I? What have I told you guys about having moments without me? Someone tell me what happened, please, before I explode—”

“Alright, Penelope,” Spencer chuckles, interrupting her. He’s known her for too long to expect her to cut herself off when she’s on a tirade like that. “Uh, this is Luke. My boyfriend.”

“Your… your boyfriend? Oh my god, I finally get to meet him? Wait you told the others? Oh my god I’ve missed so much!”

“Penelope knew?” Derek asks, surprised.

“Half of mine and Spencer’s mutual friends are FBI Agents, and the other half are drag queens, of course I knew,” Penelope dismisses him, “but he wasn’t ready for me to meet his boyfriend yet or even know his name and I very nicely did not go hunting to find him out because I could’ve done that, but I didn’t, because I value you so much as a friend, Spencer, and I’m so glad you finally—”

“Penelope!” Spencer interjects, laughing even more as the tension and distress he’d felt only minutes ago finally melts away fully. “Do you actually want to introduce yourself to Luke, or do you want to keep rambling about drag queens?”

“Right! Yes!” she says eagerly, turning to Luke. “I’m Penelope and it is so nice to meet you, like you don’t even know how much I’ve wanted to meet the man who has my blueberry muffin blushing bright pink in the corner of my batcave while he texts on the phone, and I know you call him carinõ because I saw a text once and it’s the sweetest nickname ever, you are just the cutest, and we are going to be best friends—”

Spencer rests his head on Luke’s shoulder as he listens fondly to Penelope rambling and his friends chatting amongst themselves and everyone getting to know the most important man in his life — the only man he’s ever wanted anything long term with, the only man he’s ever wanted to actually marry one day — and a warm, sweet feeling of contentment floods his chest.

It’s far from the way he thought he’d feel after the team found about Luke, and he savours it, holds it in his mouth for as long as he can before swallowing the memory and filing it away to treasure forever. A moment like this deserves that kind of reverence.

“How are you feeling about tonight?” Luke asks gently as they crawl into bed, tired but happy at gone 2am. He pulls Spencer into his side as soon as they’re under the duvet, resting his chin on his head as he always does.

Moments like these make Spencer smile, the kind of familiar routine that’s so essential to their relationship. Luke had figured out early on that close physical contact and firm touches make him feel safe and settle his racing mind, so they’d worked out positions that made them both feel comfortable, and now relaxing into them is second nature.

“A bit weird,” Spencer admits after thinking for a moment. “I’m happy that they know now and everyone took it well, but it’s strange. A significant part of who I am has been not only that I’m gay, but the dedication I felt to protecting that secret. And now that it’s out, it feels like something private has been bared for my friends to inspect.”

“I think that’s only natural,” Luke muses quietly, pressing a kiss to Spencer’s curls. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll adjust eventually.”

Spencer sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. After I tackle telling Hotch and Rossi, it’ll be nice not to have to hide it. I’ll be able to talk about you at work and maybe even go crazy and put a photo of you on my desk.”

“Wow, that is wild, check you out,” Luke chuckles, before they settle into a comfortable silence in the warm glow of their bedroom. Eventually, he speaks up though, quiet and reverent. “I’m proud of you, carinõ. I really am.”

The words instantly make Spencer smile, a light blush tinging his ears again. He hides his face in Luke’s chest, scooching impossibly closer into his arms. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too, Spencer,” Luke replies, a happy sigh in his voice.

He reaches over and turns off the bedside lamp. His hand returns to Spencer’s hair and something clicks into place somewhere, a fundamental alignment of the universe that brings a feeling of something so incredibly right as their breathing rhythmically matches to one another and they slide into the welcome embrace of sleep.

I hope you enjoyed that! I had a lot of fun with this one. If anyone has any more ralvez relationship reveal prompts, feel free to send them my way!

Taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @hotchseyebrows @reidology @spencerspecifics @tobias-hankel @marsjareau @hotchscotchh @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @thataveragenerd @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @ropoto @cmily @nudgerox @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @downwiththedoorpoole @nomajdetective (Add yourself to my taglist here!)

[nari-nim]

Ateez as love languages

nari note: y’all really liked this for Treasure so even tho no one asked, here’s the Ateez version enjoy

Hoogjoong

Main love language (giving): Acts of Service

Updates you about his day, clear communication, and acknowledges effort

Invites you to accompany him in the studio. Your presence gives him so much energy, and you can passively spend time together when you are both super busy.

Gives you massages. When he receives them, he falls asleep so fast lol

Gives really sentimental gifts, like songs or special reformatted clothes he spent hours making, etc

Follows through with all of his promises. He takes this so seriously.

rest of the members under the cut

Seonghwa

Main love language (giving): Gift giving

Good morning and goodnight texts. Always.

Might nag a little at you when you aren’t taking care of yourself, but he does it because he really cares about your wellbeing

Mindless physical touch, like fixes your hair, plays with your fingers absentmindedly etc. Likes to feel connected to you.

Likes to cook dinner with you and other activities that you can do at home together, where it’s domestic but filled with flirting

Really thoughtful gifts, and likes to go pricier or over the money limit buy accident

Whenever he travels, he brings back a little something because it’s his way of saying “I’m thinking of you” and “this reminded me of you” and “you’re always on my mind and I love you” ya feel

Adds really sincere and touching card to everything

Yunho

Main love language (giving): Quality time 

He gives you the sweetest, most thoughtful compliments that always seem to make your day! It’s so easy to return the favor...there’s so much about Yunho to constantly praise.

When he is with you, you have his undivided attention. Phone away, conversation never ending.

Hand around your shoulders or holding your hands whenever possible

Likes finding quirky gifts, something he finds interesting as well so you know it’ll be an insightful gift

Such a gentleman, likes to hold doors for you and other traditionally chivalrous actions 

Likes doing small gestures for you. Like always opening water bottles for you or putting food on your plate first when you eat out together or with others.

Yeosang

Main love language (giving and receiving): Quality time

Prioritizes you when spending time together. It’s uninterrupted, intentional, and extremely special in his eyes. Almost like the two of you are in your own world.

Comes over whenever he has space in his schedule for it.

Likes receiving a lot of affection in any and all forms, but is more reserved when giving it, especially when there’s an audience. For example, if you’re with the whole team, he’ll let you snuggle against him and he’ll gently rest a hand on your waist, but nothing more. 

Similar to his words of affirmation. His compliments can be a bit rare, but he definitely gives them!! Makes the compliments even more special tbh

Likes being felt like a priority. Likes it when you cling a little to him although he will never admit it.

Not much of a gift giver? Can be a little clueless when it comes to material gifts, but the gestures and lengths he will go to give you what he thinks is best is touching 

San

Main love language (giving and receiving): words of affirmation

Oh my god, he is a slut for sincere, loving words from you, whether it’s spoken or written. Write him love letters and he will take it with him wherever he goes and read it constantly. 

Compliments for you comes so easily to him and he pays them often

Wants you to pat his head to signify a “good job” a lot. Or give his the verbal equivalent of that if that makes sense

Really likes resting his head on your shoulders or laying in your lap

He is a clingy teddy bear. 

Isn’t scared of going pricey with gifts either, but you might need to hint at things you actually want because San makes the effort but can miss the mark sometimes

Likes spending free time going on dates with you

Cancer + INFP combo makes him really like to have long, deep, and vulnerable conversations about each other 

Remembers things about you and tries to help lessen stress or tasks for you

Mingi

Main love language (giving): Physical touch

Hold his hand. Hold it. 

Likes hearing compliments. Pretty smooth when giving them although he screams inside each time

This man says, “I love you” a lot. All the time. And he means every one of them. Can be shy when saying them but he powers through

Likes going on explorative dates with you or doing each other’s hobbies

But also is a sucker for nap dates, cuddle dates, and generally staying at home and ordering takeout while you both play with each other’s hair and talk about life

Honestly not a bad gift giver, likes to go pricey too

Goes out of his way to make sure you feel comfortable in many situations

He may be loud and wild at times but he’s pretty empathetic imo. When he acts on it, he’s such a sweet and caring boyfriend

Wooyoung

Main love language (giving): Physical touch

Constantly compliments you

Playfully bites you

A lot of hugs and cuddling

A lot of PDA

Loves spontaneous kisses and hugs

Gives you classic, statement gifts like expensive jewelry or red roses

Also buys things like vitamins and snacks when he knows you’re getting busy, so you can take care of yourself more when he’s not around

Might be a little harder to land quality time with him since he’s so popular and busy, but when you do he makes it all about you

Cooks for you. Cleans your apartment a bit when he comes over. Meal preps for you. His acts of service are so domestic and we love to see it

Jongho

Main love language (giving): Gift giving

If you’re sitting together, always has a knee resting against your leg. Likes the feeling of staying connected like Seonghwa

Likes to lift you around and lift things for you

Short, concise praises that hits the spot (because I think he’s really observant and knows what you need to hear the most at a given moment) and always leave you flustered 

Also likes dates that venture outside the house 

Really thoughtful gift giver, likes to be like I’ll buy them a large range of gifts and one of them will stick uwu

Sees paying for expensive dates as a version of that, so get ready to be spoiled 

He prioritizes you and always wants to make you feel special

Very much about the gesture for him so anything is fair game as a gift

[gffa]

hi this whole supernatural and putin election is all over my dash right now but I have never watched spn, so I have no idea what's going on there. can you pleaseee help me?? I saw you posting about it lol

Hi!  Yeah, I have a post about it here, but basically (AS MUCH AS MY KNOWLEDGE CAN BE, GIVEN THAT I REALLY ONLY READ MESSAGE BOARD THREADS ABOUT THE WANK HAPPENINGS): - We’re all super stressed from Quarantine Brain + Doomscrolling through the election news/lack of news - Supernatural is a long-running show (15 seasons now) that has been around so long, that there are frequent jokes about how it’ll never die, etc. - There are two characters on the show, Dean Winchester (main character) and Castiel (second tier main character) who are shipped together as one of the most popular pairings, their smushname being “Destiel”. - Supernatural is also notorious for being pretty homophobic (from the actors, from the writing of the show, etc.) in a low-key but very “you can feel it way” (and some of the actors have been pretty shitty, from what I’ve heard?), so like literally nobody outside of diehard shippers expected this, despite that the chemistry between them was Something Else. - The show has always been popular, as well as one of the characters/actors on it (Castiel) has an incredibly devoted fan base, but it’s nothing like it was back in 2013, when Misha Collins (the actor who plays the character, generally more supportive of queer stuff, I think?) was IMMENSELY popular, to the point that there was a tumblr “event” scheduled where a bunch of people changed their icons to this one pic of him, then also reblogged the pic a lot, photoshopped the pic onto other gifs to make them Castiel pics, etc., to the point that a lot of people saw NOTHING BUT Misha Collins’ face on their dash all day.  This was called “Mishapocalypse”. - Sidenote:  Within the Destiel fandom, a/b/o tropes are extremely popular, often times with omega!Castiel.  You’ll see that come up in jokes around sometimes, too. - Sidenote x2:  For awhile, it was incredibly popular on tumblr to combine three live action television shows that had a lot of overlap in their audiences:  BBC’s Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Supernatural.  The combination of these three (whether graphics or just talking about crossovers or whatever) became something of a fandom unto itself, called Superwholock.  When I tag all these posts with “Superputinelection”, it’s a reference to how three things were mashed together like the TV shows. - So, okay, this show has been on forever, it’s low-key-to-high-key homophobic, nobody expects anything even from the final season.  Jokes get bandied around like “Destiel will become canon before we get any election results.” - AND THEN DESTIEL BECOMES IMPLIED CANON TONIGHT???  WHILE WE’RE STILL WAITING FOR ELECTION RESULTS???? - Castiel basically confesses his feelings to Dean (the other character in the ship), he directly says, “I love you.” and then immediately is killed and sent to SUPER HELL precisely BECAUSE his love for Dean made him happy, so like it’s (implied) canon gay AND homophobia in the same scene!  Amazing!  (A lot of people also really find Dean’s actor’s face in the scene to be super uncomfortable/showing the actor’s distaste for anything gay, but I don’t have an opinion on that because I’m not into the fandom deep enough to know.  Just that that’s what people are referring to.) - With so many people posting gifs/caps from the confession scene from SPN, it’s basically putting the same image of Castiel’s face all over our dashes and timelines again, which isn’t intentional but BOY DOES IT RESEMBLE THE MISHAPOCALYPSE. - AND THEN, LIKE WITHIN AN HOUR OF THAT, WHILE PEOPLE ARE ALREADY LOSING THEIR GODDAMNED MINDS, THERE’S A NEWS STORY  (well, rumors at the time, but apparently it’s been confirmed? the BBC had a story about it up ETA:  As Mid points out, that BBC article is about something else and I can’t access the NYP one, but I’m not getting google results for it) ABOUT HOW PUTIN IS GOING TO BE RESIGNING. All combined together, it’s been a rollercoaster ride to hell tonight.

[blossom-hwa]

inspired by 'rush hour’ (gaho).

wc: 2.6k ~ changmin x gender neutral!reader ~ slice of life!au ~ triggers: none ~ the boyz masterlist ~ 4 year anniversary drabble game (requests closed!)

for chair anon :)

[ 6:00 pm : rush hour ] I try going forward to you But I lose you at this dead end

.

The traffic light is still green. Changmin sighs, tapping the board flipped up by his side. It’s been green for what feels like forever - is it ever going to turn red so that he and the growing group of pedestrians around him can move across this short stretch of the street?

If he wasn’t going to meet someone, he might just take a chance in the lulls of traffic and race the cars, letting them honk angrily as he jaywalks - jay-skates? jay-boards? There probably isn’t proper terminology for that, but jay-boards sounds okay - past, flashing them a quick smile to infuriate them a little more. It’s okay. This street isn’t too crowded. The only cars that pass through are usually old businessmen making their way back home to penthouse apartments, so Changmin feels less than guilty for screwing around with their evening.

But he is meeting someone. A very special someone, in fact. Someone who told him on no account was he going to jaywalk or jay-board (he’ll have to tell you about the new word he invented when he gets to you) if it meant risking his safety. So Changmin sighs, taps his board some more, and waits at this seeming dead end of a street corner where the green light never turns red.

.

It’s alright alright alright It’s alright alright alright

.

It’s alright. Changmin smiles as the flow of traffic begins to cease, lights on the streets ahead turning red. He can wait a little longer to cross the street legally.

Anything for you, after all.

.

I’m talking in circles around you But you always pass right by

.

Changmin still can’t quite believe his luck, even months later. He doesn’t know how he managed to catch your attention, the small skater he was who stayed quiet around others, really only raising his voice in the presence of his friends.

You were the noticeable one. You were the one with the guitar slung on your back and a friendly smile always on your face. You were the one everyone had a crush on, platonic or romantic. You were the one everyone flocked around at the park on weekends, sitting on a bench, strumming the strings of your instrument with the softest grin on your lips. If it wasn’t for Younghoon accidentally tripping over your guitar and subsequently you, sending you flying into Changmin as he rolled past trying to escape the monitor chasing after him, it might never have happened. Changmin might never have had the chance to do anything more than admire you from afar.

And what would’ve happened then?

.

It’s alright alright alright Who cares? I’m alright

.

But who cares? Changmin grins. It’s alright, yeah? Because you noticed him anyway, and even if he got a detention for skating indoors, it was worth it when you offered to buy him a coffee in apology for inadvertently getting him caught by the hall monitor.

It was the coffee that turned him into even more of a stuttering mess than he would’ve been. It was also the coffee that gave him the bit of energy and courage he needed to keep talking anyway.

It was the coffee, ultimately, that got that blinding smile turned in his direction. And it was the coffee that got him your number for future conversations, future meetups at the park, and eventually, a date.

The light turns green. Changmin nimbly leaps on his skateboard and rolls across the street, grinning.

Who cares about how it happened, in the end? As long as it did.

.

Everyone tries to get your attention One by one, honking at you

.

Honking sounds follow Changmin down the sidewalk as he weaves around office workers rushing home, people ducking in and out of small restaurants and cafes, either alone or holding someone else’s hand. His grin widens at the sight of a laughing couple that just manages to dodge around his board, giggles undeterred by the sudden interruption.

What will it be like when he gets to you? Will the crowds at the park be as large as the ones cluttering the streets? Will he even be able to see you on your bench, surrounded as you might be with children and parents and teenagers trying to get a peek at your guitar?

.

But I hope my voice can reach you Turn that music on

.

Does it matter, though? Changmin pauses at another intersection, watching the cars go honking past. Just the same way he can pick out your voice singing above the sound of the guitar, you can pick out his eyes, smiling at you from within the crowd.

You’ve always noticed him. He’s always noticed you.

There’s no reason that should stop now.

.

I got stuck on you My heart is in chaos right now

.

God, it feels like nothing’s changed since the day he realized he had a crush on you. His heart still flutters at the sound of your voice, his lips widening in a smile at the thought of your eyes.

.

I got stuck on you As if I’m stuck in traffic

.

The traffic light turns red again. Changmin skates across the street, ignoring the impatient honking of cars that follows him down the sidewalk. It’s kind of like the traffic clogging the streets, his adoration for you - stuck in one place, going with the flow but never really seeming to move.

Though if traffic meant he could stay with you forever, he wouldn’t mind it so much, really.

.

I want drama between you and me Trying to escape this trauma

.

It’s kind of like a drama, isn’t it? Unnoticeable boy, very noticeable love interest. Though maybe the roles are flipped - very noticeable main character, unnoticeable boy - because it doesn’t feel like Changmin has ever been the protagonist of this story. You’re the main character, and he’s the love interest who will support you in everything that you do.

.

Drama with you Feeling like it’s rush hour

.

Changmin grins, feeling wind rush past his face as a car speeds past.

If this is his part in the drama, it isn’t such a bad role to play.

.

I try to jump right into you But the conversation keeps cutting off

.

His phone buzzes. Not bothering to stop - you’d yell at him for that, but it isn’t as life-threatening as jay-boarding across the street and you’re not here to scold him for it - Changmin pulls it out, deftly navigating his way around a group of office workers as he accepts the call. “Y/N?”

“Hey, Changmin.” He can hear your smile through the phone. “You on your way?”

“Of course,” he replies, almost affronted. You agreed to meet at six - why would he be late? “Why aren't you playing? Is your little concert over?” You don’t usually end early.

“No, just a lull in traffic.” Your laugh sounds like music. “I’m taking a pause and thought I’d call. Almost here?”

“Almost,” he promises, rolling to a stop at the next intersection with a sigh. “The actual traffic here is murder.”

“Okay, sounds good.” When you pause, Changmin can hear the babbling of a little kid faintly over the phone - something about guitar and please? “I’ve got to go back in a minute. See you soon?”

“Go please your audience,” he replies, smiling. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Get here safe.” You pause again. “You weren’t talking to me while on your board, right?”

Changmin stays silent. His silence is much more telling than anything he’d say, anyway.

“Changmin.”

“Y/N,” he mimics in your tone of voice. Serotonin floods his brain when you snort a laugh into the phone. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”

“You better be,” you warn. “Bye, Changmin.”

.

It’s alright alright alright Turn that music on

.

He grins, already looking forward to hearing the strumming of your guitar in person, not over the phone. “Bye, Y/N.”

.

Everyone tries to get your attention One by one, honking at you

.

Two intersections later, Changmin finally finds himself at the entrance of the park. Children and their parents still abound despite evening quickly approaching, so he keeps to the sidewalk, carefully avoiding any paths full of shouting kids. It’s okay. Changmin knows the ways to your bench better than the back of his hand. A few honking cars and yelling toddlers can’t keep him from you.

All roads lead to you in Changmin’s world, after all.

.

I got stuck on you My heart is in chaos right now

.

The expected crowd surrounds your bench when Changmin finally steps off of his board. Fridays are always the busiest days, after all - people celebrating the end of the work week with a walk in the park and, by chance, some music as well.

He hears you before he sees you, crowds obscuring your face but not your voice that carries sweetly through the air, accompanied by the strumming of your guitar. Changmin didn’t think the smile on his face could get any wider, but when the first chords reach his ears, it somehow does.

Your voice is music, even more so than the instrument in your hands.

.

I got stuck on you As if I’m stuck in traffic

.

Then your face appears in a crack between the crowd as Changmin edges his way through, eyes closed in peace as your fingers pluck easily at the guitar strings. And nothing really has changed, nothing at all, just like the traffic stuck in rush hour -

Because as he watches you sing, Changmin feels himself falling in love with you all over again.

.

I don’t wanna lose you, never I just wanna hold you all day

.

Sometimes, when Changmin sees you like this, body framed in the pink and gold and orange of the descending sun, he panics. A part of him seems to think that when the sun finally dips below the horizon to be replaced by the moon overhead, it’ll take you with it, sparkling eyes and musical voice and all. Even your guitar. Because in moments like these, it feels a little like you’re an illusion, something too perfect to be true.

But then -

Your eyes open. They search the crowd like they’ve done it a million times (perhaps they have). They meet his, and immediately the sparkle brightens until it’s even brighter than the sun overhead, and it’s then that the panic fades because Changmin knows you’re real. Knows you’re not an illusion.

What illusion would become even more beautiful, after all, just because he happened to be there?

.

Even if the numbers on the calendar switch up I’m only thinking about you

.

Day by day, week by week. The routine is the same - you two get home from school, Changmin goes to work while you go home, and if it’s a Friday or a surprisingly free weekday, he’ll meet you at the park at six, like clockwork. You’ve been doing this for months now, almost a year - if it were anything else, Changmin is sure he would’ve gotten bored at this point.

But when you smile at him again before turning to the crowd and announcing your last song, Changmin knows he could never find it in himself to be bored with this. It’s you, after all, always you.

Day by day, week by week, it’s always been you.

.

You’re swimming in my ocean The waves keep growing larger

.

You sing a last song with a lilting voice, something about oceans and sunlight and waves whirling around you like the warmest hug. Changmin’s smile softens as you sing, fingers tapping his board not out of ennui this time, but to keep the beat of the music flowing from your guitar and from your lips. The waves of your voice wrap their arms around him, growing, growing, settling soft on his skin.

.

You’re swimming in my ocean You’re on my mind

.

Waves, crashing waves that mix with laughter and warm sunlight beaming down on the water. The beach is a couple of hours away - Changmin wonders if you might like to go when summer comes and you have a little more time to spare - but it doesn’t matter, not when he’s already swimming, laughing in the ocean of your voice.

.

I got stuck on you My heart is in chaos right now

.

You finish the song with a last chord and a smile, bowing in reply to the childish shouts and claps from the audience. Changmin lifts up his board to join the applause, eyes fixed on you and you only as you turn around to finally meet his eyes.

“Hey,” he says, and he knows you hear his voice even over the applause still carrying all around you.

Your smile widens as you step forward to give him a kiss. “Hey, yourself.”

.

I got stuck on you As if I’m stuck in traffic

.

Changmin helps you pack up your guitar, helps you organize the loose change and bills that some kind people left in the case. You get excited when you realize it’s enough to treat him to a meal that you make him swear not to pay for - he’ll try to, you both know, it’s just a matter of being faster than the other - and then Changmin lifts up his board with one hand and takes yours in the other. His fingers tangle with yours automatically, a promise to never let go. “Should we go?”

You nod, smiling. “Come on.”

.

I want drama between you and me Trying to escape this trauma Drama with you

.

It really is like a drama, Changmin thinks as you two walk out of the park, hands still locked together as you enter the busy streets once more. It’s cheesy, definitely, but does it matter? It’s the only way he can describe this perfection of the moment, holding hands with you as you argue over where to eat for dinner.

Changmin leans down to kiss your nose. You laugh at the touch of his lips to your skin, fingers involuntarily squeezing his.

He swears he hears music in his ears.

.

I want drama between you and me Trying to escape this trauma

.

Definitely cheesy. Definitely a drama.

You smile at him, and his heart flutters.

But when you make him feel this way, does it really matter?

.

Drama with you feeling like it’s rush hour

.

Another light turns green before you can make it across the intersection, so Changmin pulls you to a stop before you can accidentally take the next step into the street. “Now do you know why I’m always so impatient?” he asks, casting a pointed glance at the board under his arm.

“Yeah, kind of.” You roll your eyes. “Maybe we should stop agreeing to meet at rush hour.”

Six o’clock. Peak traffic. Rush hour. Just like Changmin’s mind, forever stuck on you, waiting at a traffic light that never seems to change.

But when he’s stuck on you, it really isn’t so bad.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I like it.”

Your eyes sparkle into his. Changmin squeezes your hand and smiles.

“I think we can keep it as is.”

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 heart for the couple, they were so wonderful to write :D)

[pradaksj]

Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored (m.)

♤ pairing: jungkook/reader

♤ genre: 1920′s au, burlesque/clubsinger!reader, infidelity au , angst, smut.

♤ rating: mature

♤ word count: 17,000+

♤ warnings: infidelity/affair [plays a big role in story so please do not read if the topic makes you feel uncomfortable, hint: y/n is not the one getting cheated on LOL], A LOT of angst lol the smut is just an add on to the story basically, explicit language, cigar smoking, degradation, pet names, overstimulation, multiple orgasms (2), dirty talk, unprotected sex, rough sex, sub!reader, teasing dom!jungkook, slight dry humping, mirror sex, fingering, hair pulling, cockwarming, marking, edging, nipple/breast worship, pussy eating, spanking, light choking, possession kink.

♤ summary: Once you were on that stage you were someone completely different, the manifestation of someone’s secret desire, becoming whatever image had of you in their head. Some days you were the innocent girl next door, other days the good girl gone wild, but the days he came you became what you had been for the past year, the other woman.

━ ❝  You got me some type of way, ain’t used to feelin’ this way. I do not know what to say, but I know I shouldn’t think about it. Took one fuckin’ look at your face, now I wanna know how you taste… You can say I’m hatin’ if you want to, but I only hate on her 'cause I want you. .❞

♤ thank u next series masterlist

♤ author’s note: i got the idea to make this story 20’s themed after rewatching 2 Chainz ft Ariana Grande’s which you can watch ☞ here, while the storyline itself is loosely inspired by her song break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored. You can also reference this video ☞ here to see what I reference in terms of style when I say burlesque dancer and what y/n and her coworkers encapsulate because I personally hate the flapper era style LOL, i’m more of a hollywood glam person, so finding this video was a godsend.  

Also fun fact, the Hollywood sign was originally built reading “Hollywoodland” in 1923, which is why it’s referred to as that in this story, it wasn’t until 1949 that “land” was removed. and because i’m setting this story in the mid to late 1920’s, Hollywood is barely establishing its reputation as the land of dreams and heartbreak & alcohol was illegal in the 20’s which is why i refer to Joon’s job as “illegal” lol .

comment, send an anon, like, reblog, and most importantly enjoy! 🤍 

“She’s the girl of your dreams, the sugar to your spice, give a warm welcome to Miss Lola de Ville,” Al’s voice booms across the club. Peeping your head out the curtains, you try your best not to be seen as you scan the audience, until finally you spot what you’re looking for. Immediately you feel your heart skip a beat.

Quickly giddying your way back to Mina’s dressing room, you could feel the anticipation and joy bubbling in your stomach, “He’s here tonight,” you sing, leaning against her door frame, watching her as she did her makeup.

She’s quick to roll her eyes, “Oh when isn’t he,” she says, fixing her lipstick, “he sure does awfully love your performances it seems,” a blush appears on your cheeks, “Is she with him tonight?” she queries, you quietly nod your head no. “And what song are you performing tonight little miss Y/N?” she asks, changing the topic once she sees your face of uncomfort.  

Immediately your eyes light up, “Al’s been playing these songs by some man named Louis Armstrong on the record player all week, and oh how I love his voice, and the lyrics he sings!” you gush.

“Oh tell me about it, he’s going to have to buy himself another vinyl if he keeps playing it the amount of times he does already, it’ll be all scratched up by the end of the week,” she pessimistically says, causing you to shrug. It wasn’t like Al didn’t have the money to buy as many as he’d like, this club of his was bringing him bank.  

“God am I ready to go home,” she complains, taking off the shiny silver ring on her left ring finger and placing it in its case, as men didn’t like giving tips to a woman with a ring on stage.

“How’s the wedding planning going along?” you ask, Mina lets out a dramatic sigh in response.

“Oh you know Joon, he doesn’t like the whole planning aspect of it, so most of it has been in my hands,” she chuckles, “but I know he’s excited, he’s just as much of a romantic as me.”

Namjoon, Mina’s long time fiancé, was not only the illegal bartender of the club you two worked in, but a long time friend of yours, the two of you going back long before he had ever met Mina. In fact it was he who got you this job to begin with, something you’d forever be in his debt for.

Namjoon of course didn’t mind that Mina had to take off her ring because he not only trusted, but respected Mina’s job. Honestly it would’ve been hypocritical for him to be anything but supportive, considering he met her here when he first started working at the club a couple of years ago. At the end of the day he was secure about his relationship, and the person she was coming home to after a night of performing was him and only him.

“Y/N what are you doing here, you go on in five!” a voice interrupts, you turn to see Al with his hands on his hips in a dramatized fashion.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll be out there right now,” you gulp, grabbing some perfume from Mina’s desk and quickly spritzing it on yourself., “How do I look?” you ask.

“You look good as always,” Mina reassures, despite only glancing at you for no less than a second, “hey and once you’re done tell Joon to have a cocktail ready for me by the time I’m done performing,” you nod, making your way out to the main stage.

“She’s got a voice sent from the heavens above, almost as smooth as a Friday’s glass of whiskey, she can sing, she can dance, she can act, she’s a triple threat of course! And to add to it all, she’s got the face of a doll, give a warm welcome for little miss y/n!”

Slowly, the curtains are pulled open, as you signal to the jazz band to start, another day, another dollar to make. You hear the cheers of men as you slowly take off your fur-made shoulder wrap, teasing the audience in what was hidden underneath. With every holler your ego only grows, knowing that all eyes were on you, including his.

Glancing in his direction, you find him staring at you in the same concentrated, sultry gaze he always did, purposely pouting your lips as you sang. You knew the power you held, the effect you had on those around you. Once you were on that stage you were someone completely different, the manifestation of someone’s secret desire, becoming whatever image they wanted you to be in their head, a figment of their imagination come to life so to speak.

Some days you were the innocent girl next door, other days the good girl gone wild, but the days he came you became what you had been for the past year, the other woman.

Unstrapping the leather of your heel, your feet immediately feel relief, as you kick off the black t-strap heels you had been wearing all night under your vanity desk. Though you loved wearing heels, the constant foot blisters caused by the cheap leather were definitely a downside.

Making yourself comfortable in your seat, you dump out the money from your tip jar, a smile appearing on your lips as you noticed the twenty dollar bill in the pile. Eagerly you grab it, excitedly crisping the sturdy green bill.

“They must've really liked that performance today,” a voice whispers to your ear from behind, catching you by surprise. You were used to him making a knock of some sort. Immediately you feel the tingle of goosebumps now prickling onto your skin, the giddy feeling in your stomach never getting old.

Slowly, he begins to give small pecks on your neck, every kiss lingering longer than the last. His lips then begin to softly suckle on your neck, causing you to push your head back in pleasure.

“Jungkook,” you complain, knowing exactly what he was doing.

“Too bad that tip wasn’t from me,” he shades, clear annoyance coming from his tone. In your distracted state, he snatches the bill from your hands, causing you to immediately get up from your seat in an effort to get it back.

“Hey,” you childishly groan, trying to reach his arm which was now lifted in the air. Seeing that there was no use in trying, you give up. He then relaxes his arm, and begins to inspect the bill, your eyebrow raising at his action.

“What are you—”

He scoffs, rolls his eyes, and suddenly rips the bill into shreds. Eyes widening in shock, you  place a hand over your mouth. But as quick as the shock came, it was replaced by anger even quicker, “What the hell is wrong with you!” you shout, eyebrows now furrowed.

“It was a counterfeit, a fake,” he reiterates, leaving you slightly taken aback, but you try your best not to give a reaction.

“And,” you stutter, “And how are you so sure about that, huh?” you cross your arms, still upset at how sudden his actions were.

“Because this,” he pulls out a twenty-dollar bill from his pocket, “is a real one,” he attempts to hand the bill to you, but is met with resistance on your side.

Pushing his hand away, you scowl, “I don’t want your money, I’ve told you that already,” you huff, feeling a slight tug at your heartstrings, your ego now bruised at both the fact that the bill was fake and that Jungkook felt compelled to replace it for you.

He hugs you from behind, rocking both you and him back and forth, “I know, I know,” he chuckles, “but seeing the way those men kept looking at you,” he pauses, now scowling, “I guess you can say I don’t like what’s mine being spoiled by others,” he ponders causing you to roll your eyes, still in his embrace nonetheless.

“It’s my job,” you jest, “not like I’m sleeping with them,” you shade, a sly smirk now on your face, as you feel his hardened member now rubbing against your ass, a clear sign that you weren’t the only feeling aroused.

“Feisty, huh?” he laughs, his right hand from behind slowly making its way around your neck, softly gripping your smooth skin. Soon enough, he begins to kiss you, your lips parting to let his tongue slowly go down further, the grip on your neck becoming tighter as the kiss deepens.

With his other free hand, he maneuvers under your robe, teasingly grazing over your thigh, almost as if waiting for the green light, “Just say the words,” he whispers into your ear, his fingers now tugging at the hem of your robe.

Without saying anything, you begin to untie it, the silk material dropping to the floor in a matter of seconds, now only in your bra and underwear, you whisper in return, “Fuck me,” and with that he’s quick to release the grip on your neck, turning you to face him. His kisses become sloppy as he signals for you to jump.

Now holding you up by the thighs, you link your arms around his neck as he places you on top of the vanity desk, careful to not push any of your perfume bottles, “I bet those men could only dream of having you like this,” he growls in between kisses, “Take off the bra,” he demands, his fingers now playing with the lace of your underwear.

With no second thought, you unclip the back of your bra, throwing it somewhere across your dressing room, desperate to have him inside you already. With one hand rubbing circles over the lace, the other rolls your hardened nipples in between his fingers, a smirk now plastered onto his face as he hears you trying to suppress your moans.

“Please Jungkook,” you whine, your thighs tightly wrapped against his waist, grinding yourself against his pants. Ignoring you, he sucks on the underside of your jaw, then to your neck, slowly making his way downward, until finally he’s softly sucking on your nipple.

“God that feels so good,” you pant, throwing your head back in complete utter bliss as he marks you, your hand gently tugging at his hair as he elicits the sweetest moans out of your mouth.

“All mine,” he groans, “I’m gonna fuck you so good, gonna have creaming all over my fucking cock,” continuing to suck on your nipples, his finger now slips under your underwear, placing them inbetween your folds, “Already this wet, kitten?” he mocks, “Those men out there have no idea how much of a whore you are,” his fingers begin to move up and down your clit, doing nothing but teasing you.

“Please Jungkook,” your voice shakes, the need to feel something, anything, inside you becoming much too overwhelming. Slowly he sinks his index finger into your pussy, pumping it in and out of you until gradually he slips in another, your wetness making it easy to do so. You arch your back against the vanity’s mirror in pleasure, “Mm, faster Jungkook,” you manage to breathe out, his two fingers soaked with your wetness.

“So tight,” he mutters his pace now quickening at your command, “Look at you, already wanting to cum,” he mocks, “How do you expect to take my cock huh?” he mumbles into your neck, ready to add a third finger, “Answer me,” he demands, bringing his other hand to your neck once again.

“Because,” you’re unable to reply, now feeling your release coming to light,  “I’m boutta—” you whimper, with every movement you feel it coming closer and closer until suddenly he slows his pace, very much denying you from your release only causing you to let out a cry in complaint, the pressure that had built up immediately slowing down, “Jungkook,” you whine.

“You didn’t answer me,” he teases, pulling your underwear off, now having you completely undressed. Getting on his knees, he parts your legs wide open, your pussy being nothing but a glorious sight to him. Gently he swipes his finger across your sensitive folds, knowing that your senses were heightened from the denial, “Such a pretty pussy,” he teases, now rubbing circles onto your clit, “I bet you taste so good,” he pulls his finger away, suckling on the wetness that coated his finger, “so it does,” he says.

“Use your tongue,” you needily whisper, not sure at how long you’d be able to handle all the teasing, “please,” you cry, hoping that he’d do something soon. He drops wet, messy, kisses along your thighs, your skin now prickling in anticipation. He was purposely taking his time, finding pleasure at your squirming. A part of you just wants to push his head for your selfish reasons, but you knew that it’d get you nowhere because at the end of the day he was in full control, and you would just have to deal with the pleasurable torture.

With every kiss, suckle, and lick, you could practically feel yourself trembling, “Please Jungkook,” you beg, but he only hums in response, continuing with his wicked game of torture. Unable to control yourself, you let go of his hair, now maneuvering your hand to your pussy in a desperate effort to soothe the ache that had long been built up.

But just as you’re about to begin to pleasure yourself, his own reflexes are quick to grab you by the hand, roughly pushing it down onto the desk in an effort to stop you, “Mm mm mm,” he coos, “A slut like you doesn’t get to be in control, remember that kitten,” he sings, making a nodding motion with his finger.

Soon enough, you feel his warm tongue on your clit, licking and sucking through your folds, his index finger rubbing at your clit all at the same time. “Oh my God, right there,” you moan, the tension you felt immediately being released as he indulged himself further into your folds, pumping his finger back into your pussy once more, this time rubbing at your g-spot, your folds completely soaked with both your fluids and his saliva. Your orgasm once again was building up and as a result your pussy clenched around his fingers, your muscles going limp as you knew it was coming closer.

“You’re gonna cum for me, kitten?” you vigorously nod your head in response, physically squirming at his words, “Cum for me,” he breathes out, the euphoric feeling overcoming you, as you felt the waves of your orgasm hit, leg trembling at the sensation. Immediately he begins to plant soft kisses among your thighs, softly caressing you as you came down from your high.

He gets up from his knees, beginning to gently place kisses onto your cheek, “What a good girl,” he teases, going in to kiss you. You place your hand at the back of his head as you deepen the kiss, transforming the kiss to nothing but tongue and saliva. The two of you now making out on the vanity once again, his hardened cock rubbing against your bare pussy, the fabric of his pants acting as the only barrier in between.

He groans once you playfully you graze your other hand over the fabric, the idea of having his cock filling you up only exciting you, “I need you to fuck me,” you whisper into his ear, arousal dripping from every word as you played with the waistband of his pants.

“Is that what you want, kitten?” he asks, now unbuttoning his pants, and pulling out his thick, large cock, “Such a little whore, singing and dancing for those men,” he seethes, the look of jealousy presently on his face, “if only they could hear the way you squirm for me,” he chuckles, “just how needy and desperate you become for my cock,” you gasp as you feel his head now teasing the slit of your entrance, “How I have you moaning my name,” he whispers, suckling at the nip of your neck.  

“Put it in already,” you whine, ready to have his cock thrusting in and out of you, and so with that he slowly pushes his head which was covered in pre-cum into your hole, your wetness from earlier making it easy for him to slip it in, while your hot walls take him in with ease just as the many nights before, but still the pressure of the stretch was something you’d never get used to.

“So fucking tight,” he grunts, impusivley pulling your hair from the back as his girth pushed it’s way inside of you, taking a moment to allow the two of you to adjust, his cock now buried deep within you, “Tell me when you’re ready Y/N,” he sincerely says, having seen the momentary look of discomfort on your face.

Nodding once you were ready, he begins to slowly thrust, the items you had on the vanity beginning to jump at the sudden movement of the desk. Your moans and the squelching sound from the movement of his cock and your wetness now fill the room, his pace quickening with every deep thrust.

“Oh fuck—” you cry, his own grunts and moans mixing with yours.

“This is my pussy, you got that?” all you can do is nod in response, his thrust getting harder and sloppier, until suddenly he stops, “Turn around and bend over the desk,” he commands, pulling out and pumping his girth with his hand, not wanting to lose momentum.

It was shocking really, the countless number of times you two have fucked in between show sets, prior, and after, and each and every time it felt as good and exciting as the first time.

Eagerly you turn around, laying your stomach flat on top of the vanity’s surface, your dripping soaked pussy in full view for him, the cold air of the room along with the lack of fullfiness in your cunt causing you to let out a small whine, desperate to have Jungkook’s cock warm you up again, “God, you’re beautiful,” he murmurs to himself, looking at your face from the reflection in the mirror as he began to stuff your pussy with his cock once again.

He begins to thrust again, each one feeling fuller than the last, “Fuck Jungkook,” you cry, his cock now hitting your g-spot in this position, “Faster baby,” the friction from his steady rythym now wasn’t enough, as you felt another orgasm incoming.

“Faster?” he asks, “You said it,” he laughs, now pounding against your walls at a pace that was so overwhelming, you were almost sure that anyone within ten yards could probably hear you. “You nasty little slut, just look at yourself,” he groans, yanking you by the hair and forcing you to look at the reflection of yourself in the mirror in front of you, “I’m the only one who gets to fuck you like this,” he quickens his his pace, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the room, “And only me, you got that?” all you could do was moan in response, resulting in a hard spank to your ass, “Answer me!” he groans, as you grip onto the corners of your vanity’s desk, his cock pounding harder and harder within your walls every passing second.  

“Mmhm only you Jungkook!” you cry, placing your hand on the mirror, trying not to lose balance of yourself, “I’m so close,” you manage to breathe out, the tight feeling in your abdomen signaling that you were going to cum any moment, his breathy moans also telling you that he was close to bottoming out as well.

He tilts down, the sounds of his panting now directly behind your ear, “That’s my girl,” he whispers, pushing your hair away from your neck to give you a small kiss. Seconds later, your vision goes white as you feel the final rush of stimulation washing over you, as he quickly pulls out and pumps his own release onto your back. The two of you now catching your breath, completely exhausted.

He buttons his pants back up, grabbing your things from the floor as well as a towel from your rack, gently cleaning you up as you remain in your position, too tired to even stand. “Come on,” he whispers, gently pulling you from behind so that he could pick you up, your body always feeling completely limp post-orgasm, add the fact that this was post-work as well, you had every reason to be tired.

Placing you on the small love-seat couch you had in your dressing room, which was generally used for—nevermind that, he helps dress you, guiding your legs through the underwear holes, laughing at your groans whenever you’d miss. “Come on, stop being lazy,” he teases, only resulting in another groan from you. You cross your arms again and pout like a kid, a huge grin now on his face. Gently, he cups your face, playfully squishing your cheeks in the process, just like he always does, only causing you to roll your eyes.

“Why do you always do that?” you manage to say, his hands still squeezing the life out of your cheeks.

“Because it’s cute,” he gives you a peck on the lips before finally letting them go, allowing you to place your robe back on, “You’re cute,” he nuzzles into your neck, the two of you to falling back on the couch, as he then begins to tickle you.

“Stop,” you begin to hysterically laugh, his fingers prancing around the sides of your stomach, “Jun—Jungkook stop,” you breathe out, a toothy grin on his face as he attempted to avoid your playful kicks.

To any other person, this loving moment between you two would cause nothing of the suspicion, hell, they’d probably even mistake the golden band on his finger as the sacrament of your holy matrimony. It was moments like these where you questioned where your relationship with the married man stood, where you’d ask yourself at what point had the line blurred between only doing this for fun and actually having feelings?

Slowly Jungkook stops tickling you once he notices that your laughs had begun to die down, and your face had become serious,“Hey what’s wrong?” he asks with genuine concern in his voice.

You shake your head, not wanting to dwell on your thoughts too much, “It’s nothing really,” you give him a small smile.  Momentarily he stares at you, seeming unconvinced by your answer.

“Let’s go home?” you stare at him wide-eyed, home?

“Wait what?”

“I asked if you’d like me to take you home?” he chuckles, though you knew you must’ve heard him wrong, the sinking feeling in your heart hurt just as much, a part of you secretly hoping that you were wrong.

“Oh um,” you respond, “no it’s fine Jungkook, I’ll just um,” you run a hand through your hair, “I’ll just ask Joon, I think he should still be cleaning up, and Mina is probably bored waiting,” you force a laugh. He furrows his eyebrows, unsure about leaving you here, but relents nonetheless.

“Hm, okay then,” he says, giving you a departing kiss on the cheek, “I’ll see you soon, alright?” you nod your head, the forced smile on your face quickly dropping the moment he walks out the door.  

“You sure are loud, Namjoon was complaining about wanting ear muffs while he cleans,” Mina laughs, now entering your dressing room, Jungkook having left several minutes ago. She expects you to laugh like you usually do, or even throw a smart remark in return, but instead you remain silent, staring at your reflection in the vanity’s mirror. Your eyes were puffy from crying, because in those minutes that Jungkook had left, a feeling of shame had washed over you. “Hey, what’s wrong kiddo?” she walks towards you, quickly grabbing a tissue from the tissue box you had on your desk, beginning to wipe the run down mascara from your cheeks, softly running her other hand through your hair in an effort to comfort you.

Sniffling, you shake your head in refusal to talk, “Hey, come on, you know you can tell me anything,” she reassures, “It’s better to let things out, than to have it build up,” she frowns, the sight of seeing you cry breaking her heart.

“I,” you struggle to say what’s on your mind, “I love him,” you whisper, voice breaking as you finally said what you’d long known. For a second she stares at you, her faint gasp quickly hidden as she continues to comfort you.

“Oh Y/N,” she sighs, sad that she is unable to find the words that could make this all better. If only Namjoon was—

“What’s going on he—” Namjoon furrows his eyebrows as he sees the sight of his fianceé comforting his long time friend, who now had her face buried in her hands.

“I love him so much, and everytime he comes here I just wanna tell him,” you pause, “I wanna tell him everytime he walks out that door that he could be with me, that I want him to love me,” you cry, “that the only reason I keep seeing him is because I hope one day he just magically wakes up and walks through that door to tell me that he wants to be with me and only me, not her.”

You push your hair back in distress, “And you have to understand I never meant for things to go this far,” you quietly mumble, “and at first it was just a one time thing, nothing but a tiny sin, I thought I wouldn’t ever see him again, but now it’s become so much more,” you sigh, “And I know what I’m doing is wrong, but I wouldn’t be doing it if I didn’t feel anything.”

Namjoon walks over to you, crouching down so that you could face him, “Hey, we’re not here to judge you,” he firmly states, gently pulling your hands away from your face so that you could make eye contact with him, “you have every right to feel the way you do, you hear me?” slowly you nod your head in response as he lets out a chuckle, “Hell, we wouldn’t be human if we didn’t act selfishly here and there,” he pauses, “but what you do need to do is tell him because you’re right, you can’t keep doing this, or else you’ll be stuck in the same old place forever, and we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” he flashes you his famous old dimpled smile, Mina rubbing small circles on your shoulder as an extra layer of comfort.

“I’m scared,” you whisper. It was true, you were, because what if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he told you that there was no way he’d ever leave her for you? That the feeling of love which had only been growing stronger for the past year would remain as nothing more than a fantasy.

“You’ll never know till you say something,” he gives you a small comforting smile, “Come on let’s get you home little miss Y/N,” he pats your lap, getting up from his crouched position, your Friday night coming to its end.

Jungkook opens the door to his home, genuinely tired from the long week, simply ready to go to bed. “So, where were you?” he hears a voice from behind say. Sighing, he turns around to face his wife of three years, who was currently dressed in her overseas designed silk-purple nightgown, one of the many she owned.

His eyes glance around the room, refusing to make eye contact, “I went out to get drinks with Jimin, you know... the usual for a Friday night,” he wonders how long she’s been waiting for him, honestly it had been a while since she pulled something like this.

“All the bars close at ten, it’s twelve,” she tries to firmly state, but instead her voice cracks, “I have Amelia calling me telling me that Jimin’s gotten hom—”

“Catherine,” he begins, his voice hoarse at how tired he was, “Can we just talk about this some other day? I’m just really tired and,” he shakes his head, combing his hand through his hair, hoping she’d understand.

Catherine momentarily stares at him in silence, an emotionless look on her face before turning and going back upstairs to their bedroom. Jungkook decides to serve himself a glass of whiskey before going to bed in hopes of getting rid of the heavy guilty feeling that weighed over him, and that maybe tonight it’d just be best to sleep on the couch.

“Blue or Red?” you dangle the two outfits from their hangers in front of Jungkook, who was relaxing on your dressing room’s couch, exhausted from the sex you two just had, “I’ve personally been told blue is more of my color, but I feel like red makes me pop out a whole bunch more, and well I need those tips,” you ramble, “So what do you think?”

It had been about two weeks since you last saw him, and since your little breakdown, and though you had taken Namjoon’s words into consideration, the courage to actually go through with it just wasn’t there. Instead you had decided that you needed to wait for the right moment to tell him, and though you weren’t exactly sure when that moment would be, you were definitely sure that when it did happen, maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out how you pictured it to be.

He stretches his arms, releasing a yawn, “Mm,” he hums, “how bout none and you call it a day,” he winks, resulting in a playful hit to the shoulder from you. You gasp as he pulls you to sit on his lap, “And what song are you singing tonight kitten?” he asks.

“Mm I don’t know yet,” you laugh, “might just come up with something last minute,” you joke, but secretly you always did want to venture into composing and writing your own music, weekly newspapers citing that across the country in Hollywoodland, people who could sing, dance, and act, could achieve overnight worldwide fame.

Hollywoodland was a dream, an unrealistic one of course, but a dream nonetheless. Who knows, maybe one day you could make it big out there, but for now you had to focus on where you were locally “famous” : Al’s Melody Noir.

“And become the next Hollywoodland star?” he teases, quickly squishing your cheek before you could knock his hand away.

You shrug, “Hey, you never know,” you smile, “someone in the crowd might just hand me a one way ticket,” you say causing him to roll his eyes and playfully tighten the grip he had on your waist.

“Why not audition for Broadway or something,” he pouts his lips, “they can always use a star like you,” he sings.

“Because I don’t want to be a Broadway star,” you say, “I want to be a Hollywood star,” you grin, “I mean no offense to those Broadway stars, they’re talented and all, but I’m telling you right now that in 50 years from now, the names that are going to be remembered will be the ones who are on that big screen,” Jungkook quietly hums in response, no longer wanting to entertain this topic.

Grabbing his wrist, you glance at his wrist watch, “Ooo, I’m about to go on,” you yelp, quickly getting up from his lap and making any final touch ups to your hair, he gets up as well now getting ready to head out. “Are you sure you can’t stay to see me perform tonight?” you plead, the doe eyed look on your face making it hard for him to say no, but he had to, it was the sole reason why he came to see you before your time slot.

“You know I can’t doll,” he gives you a small kiss on the lips, “I got a whole bunch of paperwork to catch up on tonight,” he sighs, he wasn’t lying either. The stock market was booming as of late, especially because of the newly profound industrial boom, being a stockbroker right now was not only a stressful job but one where any little mistake could cost absolutely everything, “Next time I’ll be there, I promise,” he plants another kiss to your forehead, “And don’t put on too much of a show for em!” he shouts as he walks out.

You look at yourself one last time in the mirror, “Let’s do this,” you whisper, ready to make that stage yours once again.

“Oh you should've seen us having to push that car down the road, whoever this Henry Ford man is needs to learn how to make his cars weight lighter,” Mina complains, you and Namjoon laughing as the three of you were now together at the bar, Namjoon still on the clock of course.

Despite it being a rainy day, tonight was a full house, the club full of upper New York socialites occasionally some of them with their wives and girlfriends. Gambling tables were surrounded by both business men and mafia members. It was clubs like Al’s where you’d see the two different worlds collide and openly interact with one another, but honestly most of these men went hand and hand with each other. Not like there really was that much of a difference between them.

Mina puffs out the smoke from her cigar, “Look, I even chipped my nail,” she flaunts her left hand, Namjoon laughs at her obvious attempt to show off her shiny engagement ring.

“Hey don’t go flaunting it around too much,” he playfully says, but both you and Mina knew that behind that joking tone, he was definitely being serious.

She leans over the front bar rail, dramatically puckering her lips, to which he of course places his lips on, “Hey, get a room!” you complain, “Al sees you two doing that on the clock and he’ll have you two written up!” you laugh.

“Hey I’m on my break,” she clarifies, “And so are you, and if I’m looking at the clock correctly you go on in forty, and you have yet to change.”

Getting up from the bar stool, you dramatically groan in annoyance, now pursing your lips, “Didn’t realize you wanted me gone so badly.”

“Ah you know I’m just joking Y/N,” she passes you her glass of whiskey, “A shot for good luck,” she winks, and so reluctantly you slug down the remainder of her drink, the burning sensation not at all feeling pleasant, as your nose immediately wrinkled at its taste.

“I don’t know how you two drink this stuff,” you say, a childish look of disgust on your face, “it’s banned for a reason you know.”

“You get used to it,” Namjoon comments, “Now get going! Because of all this small talk, you only got thirty minutes left, and we all know how long you take!” he scolds, making a motion with his hand for you to start walking.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” you roll your eyes, now making your way back to your dressing room.

“Remember to show em what you’re made of Miss Hollywoodland,” Mina shouts, as you now shook your head in laughter as you left.

You walk towards your dressing room, still laughing to yourself at Mina’s little comment. Tonight was already a good night, your tips seeing a slight increase after your new performance which of course you’d have to count singularly later to get exact numbers. But for now all you wanted to simply do was change, get your last performance over with, catch a cab, and go to bed. The sound of the rain pouring outside would be nothing but relaxing once you got home, that was for sure.

“Mina, Mina, Mina,—” you mumble to yourself, grabbing the handle to your dressing room, ready to just kick off your heels. But what you see in front of you once you open the door immediately confuses you, as someone was occupying your vanity chair. It wasn’t until you looked at the reflection of the mirror that the heavy feeling weighing on your chest dropped down to your stomach. Because there she was sitting with her legs crossed, fixing her crimson colored lipstick in the mirror.

Standing there in silence, your eyes study her body language. In a way she seemed eerily relaxed, her shoulders weren’t tensed like yours, and her breathing seemed steady. The complete opposite of you.

The tension in the room was so thick, you were unsure of what to say because really what was there for you to say? You knew why she was here, she knew why she was here, so then why did everything feel so uneasy, like a bubbling bottle ready to pop off at any moment.

You want her to scream, to tell you off, to do something that you would expect from her, but instead she hums a tune, continuing to fix her lipstick, not once making eye contact with you, until finally she breaks her silence. A quiet, sly, chuckle coming from her lips.

“You know when I first met Jungkook I remember my heart feeling as if it was going to leap out of my chest,” she calmly shares, “Our respective families had introduced the two of us to one another at some horse racing event in New Orleans, my mother pulling me to the side to tell me that he was an up and coming stockbroker, not that it mattered anyway, I had already been swept off my feet from the moment I laid my eyes on him,” she scoffs at recalling the memory, “and you know I’d like to think that just for that one day he felt the same thing I had felt for him.”

She pauses, hazily looking at her reflection in the mirror, still not having glanced in your direction. “We got married a couple months later, bought our first home here in New York, and every morning I’d make him his cup of coffee and kiss him off for work. I remember thinking about just how perfect my life had come out to be. I was buying custom dresses from Europe, and having my pearls imported from the southern China sea, everything a girl could dream of,” she looks down at the ring placed on her left index finger, shining as bright as ever, “I remember bragging to my friends about my perfect life, and they would tell me that all I needed was the kids,” she laughs, “The other housewives would gossip to me about husbands cheating on their wives’ and I would think to myself how Jungkook would never do that to me, that he loves me too much do something like that.”

“But what I had failed to realize was that I was always viewing things from my perspective,” she shakes her head, almost as if disappointed with herself, “I guess it’s due to the way I was raised, I mean I was a spoiled child who grew up in a wealthy family, never once did I see things from the perspective of others,” she comments, “because maybe if I had I would’ve realized that my husband had quickly fallen out of love with me, or hell he may have never been in love with me to begin with,” the lurching feeling of guilt resurfaces itself from the pits of your stomach, the need to vomit almost excruciating, “but I didn’t,” she bitterly scoffs.

“And so when a friend of mine and her husband invited us to some underground new club in town that was getting all kinds of reviews from the drinks, to the dancers, and the triple threat of a star who could sing, dance, and act. I thought sure, why not? We had gone to many different clubs before where there’d be dancers who walked around with nothing but tiny little stickers across their nipples, and not once did I have to worry about his eyes straying too far,” she finally makes eye contact with you through the reflection of the mirror, “until he saw you that night.”

Getting up from your seat, her heels clack on the wooden floor as she makes her way towards you. Her calm demeanor reminding you of a snake ready to bite at any moment, “I don’t know how you two started off, or who initiated it first because God I honestly stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago,” she pauses, closing her eyes for a moment, trying to prevent herself from breaking down, “At first I thought you were going to be nothing but a phase, something temporary, something he was just doing out of compulsion, that it could’ve been anyone that he was going to commit adultery with.”

She stares at you, her eyes watery, a pool of emotions found in her eyes, “So then when I found myself having to go to that damn club every week, just to,” her voice finally cracks, the pristine glass cup that she was finally breaking, “Just to have to see him stare at you with those eyes every night to the point where he wouldn’t even tell me to come anymore, he’d be going out in the middle of the night just to see you in that damn club for God’s sake!” she cries, her face now red at her lash out.

You stare at her wide-eyed, frozen in place as she’s only inches away from you, an intense chill going down your spine.

“He’s,” she pauses, “He’s my husband,” her voice trembles in hysteria, “My husband,” she repeats, as if trying to reassure herself.

Finally, you manage to stutter something out, “I—I didn’t know at—”

“First?” she scoffs, “Is that the excuse you’re going to give me? What about the second time? Or the third? And the fourth and every other time afterward, huh? All those times you’d spot him in the crowd with me only being a couple of feet away from him, or did you just block me out of your mind so you could sleep at night? Is that it?” she yells. “You just couldn’t do it, huh? You just couldn’t stay away from him, like the dirty tramp you are,” she spat, looking at you with nothing but disgust, “Well say something goddammit! Instead of looking at me with that stupid look on your face!” her voice shakes.

“I never meant for it to go this far,” you whisper, lowering your head in shame, “You have to believe me.”

“I don’t have to believe anything from the likes of someone like you,” she snaps. The heavy feeling on your chest only weighs harder as you realized you needed to tell her the truth, the truth on what you really felt. Slowly you raise your gaze to meet hers, the lump in your throat fighting against the words that were about to come out of your mouth.

“I love hi—”

The sound of the crack of skin contacting skin echoes off the walls, a deafening silence immediately following afterward. As if time was frozen in its place. She slowly looks at her trembling hand which was now vibrating in a pain that etched from the center of her palm to the tip of her fingertips, it’s bright red appearance matching the new welt on your face. You stare at her wide eyed, hand now clutching cheek in pain, no possible words articulating in your head.  

The look on her face is one that’ll haunt you to your grave, it’s the look of someone you had first-hand in breaking. The tears that were currently gracefully falling from her eyes weren’t from a place of sorrow, but the buildup of anger and pain.

She should've felt some kind of remorse. But she didn't. Not one organ in her body could produce a gland of guilt for her actions because at the end of the day this was the least you deserved. She glances at the mark she’s left on your cheek, bitterly scoffing, not because it was big or anything but because it was in fact a cut. A small one where her wedding ring had caught you, a permanent scar that’ll remind you every morning when you look in the mirror of what you’d done. And she hoped, no, she wanted you to feel shame whenever you looked at it.

“You stay away from my husband,” she pleads demands, quickly grabbing her bag from your vanity, and rushing her way out, leaving you there to reflect on everything that just happened.

Jungkook sighs, flipping to the next document on his desk, a night full of work ahead of him. New clients needed to be accommodated, considering everyone wanted a piece of the pie that was the New York Stock Exchange.

Tonight it was raining, a downpour in fact, the prelude to an up and coming storm. The thunder already beginning to cry out from the sky above, the trees around his home writhing and flailing against his window.

Getting up from his desk, he closes up the window as well as shutting the blinds, turning on his shaded glass lamp which provided the dim lighting he always liked working in. The muffled sound of the rain comforting as well.

Catherine was out to God knows where, mumbling something about a girl’s night out before walking out, which of course he didn’t mind, but it was getting quite late. He shrugs off the concern, instead continuing with his work.

Ah she must be back already, he thinks to himself, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. Suddenly he hears his office door open, “So you’re back already,” he says, not bothering to look up from his paperwork.

He’s met with silence.

Looking up, he’s taken back by the woman standing in front of him. Because there she was, hair and clothes drenched in water along with mascara running down her eyes. A haunting empty look in her eyes.

Quickly he gets up, eyebrows furrowing in worry, “Why are you—Where—What happened?” he finally manages to ask, but she remains silent, staring off at the bookcase behind his desk.

“Catherine you’re soaking! I thought you went to Amelia’s?” he chides, but again she remains silent, until slowly she moves her pupils to his direction.

The two stare at each other for what seems like forever, words not having to be spoken in order to know what exactly was happening. He turns to break the gaze, the feeling of shame that he had been pushing off for so long bubbling in his stomach.

A low staggered laugh comes out of her mouth, steadily becoming louder and louder, booming across the room until tears are now falling from the corners of her eyes, as she goes into a fit of hysteria until finally she begins to sob. “I thought I could live with it,” she whispers in between, “I thought things were going to end at some point between the two of you—”

“Catherine,” he starts, but she’s quick to cut him off.

“But it never did!” she laughs, making a small motion to her head, “and it was there like an itch at the back of my mind all the time,” she lets out a breath in disbelief, “and I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

“Catherine, it’s not what you think it is,” he sighs, causing her to only laugh.

“She loves you, you know that right?” she bitterly scoffs, recalling your words from earlier, “And God help me, because I think you might love her too,” she finally cries out, finally saying the thought she’d kept buried in her mind for so long out loud. The feeling of suffocation finally coming to an end.

“For a wife to have to witness the entirety of her husband falling for another woman,” her voice trembles, “to have to witness the exact moment that you fell in love with her,” she whispers, vigorously shaking her head in denial,“ I don’t even wish that upon my worst enemy,” she lets out a choked sob.

All he could do is stare at her, no words at the tip of his tongue, nothing he could say or do to comfort her. “So,” she grimaces, as if fighting to get the words out of her mouth, but she needed to ask. She needed to hear him say it.

“Do you love her?”

He remains silent. He can’t even bring himself to deny it, she thinks to herself. You could hear a pin drop fall at how silent the room was.

“I’m going to bed,” she whispers, the feeling of defeat draining her as she walks out of the room leaving Jungkook to stand there by himself, the thunderstorm outside finally coming to an end.

“Al doesn’t pay me enough for this,” you groan, scrubbing the wood floors with your bristled brush. Tonight it was your turn to close up the club, and though Namjoon usually offered to stay and help you, he had sadly caught a cold, and so instead tonight you were stuck with Al himself to clean up, which of course meant you’d be stuck doing everything. He was already out front doing God knows what, most likely smoking a cigar or something.

It had been weeks since your encounter with Catherine, as well as your last visit from Jungkook, which you could only assume had to do with said situation. Honestly the whole situation had been anxiety inducing, having gone directly home after the whole ordeal, not bothering to say goodbye to Namjoon or Mina as you left, still stuck in the state of shock that you were in.

Even the usual taxi driver who normally drove you home after work was worried at your silence throughout the whole trip. Usually you kept him updated on the different things going on in the club, especially since he was always interested in, in his words, “innovations you young people are making.”

“She was dame, in love with a guy,” you continue to scrub the floor, now humming the song from a movie you had watched a couple a days ago,  “She stuck with him but didn’t know why,”  

“Everyone blamed her, Still they all named her,” you hear a familiar voice playfully sing, “True Blue Louuuuu,” Jungkook stretches out the final word, now standing in front of you, a warm smile on his face. He was dressed in his usual suit attire, his parted hair with no hair out of place only symbolizing his calm attitude for things.

Quickly getting up, you pat down your skirt of any possible dirt, “How did you—” Before you could even finish asking, your mind immediately answers the question for you, “Al,” you let out a laugh, that man will truly let anyone into his club.

“It’s not like he doesn’t recognize me by now,” he chuckles, opening his arms for embrace, which hesitantly you accept. Jungkook, taken aback by your reluctance, cups your face like he usually does and attempts to give you a pop kiss, which you quickly maneuver your way out of thus confirming something was wrong. “Hey,” he whines, pouting his lower lip.

Gently you push him off, picking up the bucket of dirty water from the floor, silently ignoring his antics, “Y/N,” he grabs your hand as you turn away from him.

Knowing there was nothing in this situation you could do but face him, you sigh, “What?” you harshly say, your attitude causing the dirty bucket of water to slip from your hands, “Ugh,” you groan, a headache now rising, “Look what you made me do,” you hiss.

He lifts his hands in his defence, “Hey, I didn’t make you do anything kitten,” your heart skips a beat at the pet name, but you’re quick to shrug the feeling off, huffing as you went to go get the mop from behind the bar stand, Jungkook only following. “I know you’re mad,” he begins, only raising a bitter laugh out of you.

You inhale a breath of fresh air, trying to keep your composure, “Me? Mad? No!” you narrow your eyes at him.

Laughing at your sarcasm, he responds, “And I understand why—”

You cut him off, “How could you possibly understand? You’re not the one who got slapped across the face,” you frown, clenching your jaw, “I even got a left with a scar because of it,” you angrily point to the small cut under your right eye, where her ring had caught you, “and this is my good side!” you throw in.  

“You can’t even notice it—”

“That’s not the point!”  you glare at him, “The point it, is that I can’t keep doing this,” you exhale loudly, “It’s-it’s” you stutter, firmly pressing your lips together, “it’s wrong,” you finally admit to him. Catherine’s words echo in your head, the image of her sobbing in front of you still fresh in your mind, “and so I,” you hesitate to say the next words, but it was now or never, “I think you need to choose, me or her? Because we can’t keep doing this, and you can’t expect me to stay in this position.”  

“We’re getting a divorce.”

“For the rest of my life, because— wait what?” you bring your ramble to an immediate halt, unsure if you heard him correctly.

“We’re getting a divorce,” he firmly repeats, completely making eye contact you, not even a twitch of the brow to signal if he was lying or not, “it’s why I haven’t been coming for the past few weeks, been filing paperwork and all that other time consuming stuff,” the two of you stand there in silence, the words barely sinking in for you as you owlishly stare at the wall behind him, nothing but a blank expression on your face.  

This is what you wanted … you just hadn’t expected the answer to be dropped as a bombshell like this one. Was it wrong to feel … happy? Overjoyed? Excited? He’s choosing you, you tell yourself. He’s choosing you, you repeat to yourself. He’s choosing to try and have a future with you. “Earth to Y/N,” he waves his hand in front of you, bringing you back to reality.

You glance at the ring that’s haunted you since the day you met him, it’s emptiness being nothing but a marvelous sight, the corners of your lips slowly twitching upward. Jumping into his arms, you scatter his face with kisses, the sudden burst of energy you felt was a high you were sure you’d never feel again in your life.

“There’s my girl,” he mumbles into your ear, both his arms grabbing you to keep you steady. A part of you wants to ask him what happened, the itch to know more details almost excruciating, but instead you choose to enjoy the moment, deciding you’d ask him some other day. With this news, you’d have an eternal amount with him.

Gently, he places you down from his hold, “And I have news that’ll have you near passing out,” you quirk your brows, there was more? “So I think you might need to hold on to the bar or something,” he grins, the feeling of anticipation now creeping under your skin.

“Well get on with it,” you rush him, doubting that the grin on your face could become even bigger.

“The firm I work under throws these annual um…” he looks up, trying to find the right word for the event, “balls,” he smugly grins, “and well a lot of Broadway producers attend, who certainly have connections with people in Hollywoodland, and well let’s just say I pulled some strings and,” he dramatically pauses, building suspension, “you’ll be performing a set for them in a week from now, as my date of course.”

Your mouth hangs loose at his words, “No,” you say in complete bewilderment, feeling as if your head was in the clouds, but your feet were on the ground all at the same time, “What am I going to where? Sing? Oh my—” you ramble, “Jungkook I,” you stop yourself from continuing, instead pulling him another hug, the warmth you felt being in his arms being truly indescribable. Things were looking up, and you were definitely excited for what was to come for the two of you.

“So is it a yes?”

“Of course—”

“Not!” Amelia, Catherine’s long time friend and Jimin’s wife of two years, sneers, her teeth grinding at the mention of you, “This is not your fault Catherine! So don’t you dare say that,” she frowns, the two were currently strolling through her garden, Catherine finally admitting everything to her friend.

“I know it's not,” her heels clack against the cemented paveway, her hands softly grazing against the roses next to her, “but I keep asking myself,” she scoffs, “could this have been avoided?” Amelia’s who was already about to say something is stopped by Catherine, who raises her finger to signal that she could explain, “I mean I could’ve saved myself the trouble, leave the first sign there was of not even the affair, but the first sign of him just not loving me,” she chuckles, “I don’t know, I just keep trying to find answers to all my questions when really they’re all right there in front of me … I just refuse to face them,” she tugs at the rose petal she’d been grazing her fingers on for the last minute, watching it as it fell to the ground.

Amelia scowls at Catherine’s words, “Maybe if that whore of a woman learned how to respect marriages,” she snarls, unable to comprehend how Catherine could possibly be making excuses for you and Jungkook, “then this whole ordeal wouldn’t be happening. She’s going to get what’s coming to her one day.”

Loudly, Catherine exhales a breath of air, exhausted of going in circles with this conversation, honestly she didn’t expect any good advice from Amelia, she just needed an outlet to keep herself sane, “I expected to hate him,” Catherine shakes her head in dismay, “ No, I wanted to hate him, something to masquerade my hurt,” the nights of wishful thinking and crying in bed begin to cloud her mind, “It was like I was desperately waiting for the feeling to consume me, hoping the feeling would wash over me all at once,” she blankly stares at the roses in front of her, “the same way the ocean washes over a seashore at night, you know? But instead I was forced to slowly experience every raw feeling that stemmed from this situation.”

Coming to a halt, Catherine pulls out a cigar from her purse, signalling to Amelia that she needed a lighter, only causing her friend’s face to scrunch in confusion. Catherine rolls her eyes, “Why are you acting like you don’t smoke, Jimin isn’t even here,” she callously says, “Come on, I’m waiting,” she murmurs, the cigar in between her lips.  

Begrudgingly she pulls out her lighter, bringing the flame to the tip of the cigar, an exhale of smoke immediately following after, “There’s rumours these things are addicting,” Amelia mumbles, watching as Catherine inhales another puff.

“There’s also speculation in the New York Times that they can kill you, but you don’t see me believing everything I read now do you,” Catherine laughs, the two continuing their stroll, different things on both of their minds.

“Cross, loop, under the bridge. over the loop, and,” Jungkook hums the tune once made to remind himself how to tie his necktie, “secure,” he breathes out, running a hand through his hair as he didn’t exactly picture himself getting ready in his firm’s office building. But today had been a long day and he didn’t have the time to go back home and change, especially since he still had to go pick you up, and well anyone who knew you, knew that getting ready on time was not your forte.

Instead he decided that his black suit, and a color change of tie would suffice. It wasn’t like the two of you were going to be there for too long, your performance was at the near beginning, the opening act per say.

He was excited to see what you’d pick out to wear, your outfits never failing to put a smile on his face, not because most of the time they were over the top and extravagant, but simply because it was you. Had it been anyone else wearing the things you dressed in, and he was sure he would’ve never bothered to spare even a glance. Honestly you could walk out with nothing but your nightgown and he would still do nothing but worship the ground you walk on.

“Tonight is going to be a good night,” he whispers, glancing at his now empty ring finger. It was going to be the start to something n—

A soft knock on the door interrupts, “Didn’t think I’d find you here,” a voice says.

Jungkook steps away from his mirror, surprised to find Jimin here at such a late hour, “Oh I didn’t realize you were still in the building,” he chuckles, “Thought I was the only one who did overtime tonight,” he glances at his wrist watch, time was on the essence, “Well I’ll see you at the event tonight, Amelia’s going with you, right?” Jungkook grabs his suit jacket from his chair, ready to make his way downstairs to the parking lot.

“Yeah, in fact I think Catherine is at the house helping her get ready,” Jungkook awkwardly tenses at the mention of his wife, the air in the room becoming stiff.

“Oh well that’s nice,” Jungkook gives him a small smile, making his way to walk out the door, “Like I said I’ll see you over there, I should really get going, my date is probably already waiting for me—”

“Y/N right?” Jimin casually asks. Jungkook stops in his tracks, mentally sighing to himself.

“Yeah you guessed it,” he gives Jimin an awkward superficial smile, his body slightly rocking back and forth in annoyance. Something about this interaction felt … uneasy.

“Actually I wanted to talk to you about that…”

Jungkook cocks his head in confusion, “Talk about what,” putting no effort to hide his annoyance. Jimin remains silent, as if contemplating his next choice of words, “Jimin I don’t have all day,” he sighs. Whatever this was was better be good, he thinks to himself.

“I,” Jimin pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket, “I need to show you something.”

Fixing your bright red lipstick, you hear the footsteps of someone entering the room, “I’m almost ready Jungkook, I just need to make sure these pins stay in place and I should be good to go,” you ramble, “Oh I’m so excited Jungkook! I couldn’t sleep all night yesterday, just thinking about performing was making me anxious, and well I just want to say thank you, you know? I know I wouldn’t be people’s first choice when it comes to performing at such a prestigious event, especially considering what a lot of people think of people who work in jobs like mine, but,” you fumble with your words, “but, it’s just so,” you clap your hands together, “oh I just can’t explain it! And to be your date,” your eyes sparkle. Tonight was going to be the night. Tonight you were going to tell him.

“To finally be given an opportunity it’s just—I don’t think I can thank you enough,” you finally breathe out, the feeling of excitement completely radiating off of you as you place your earrings on.

You wait for Jungkook to reply, to shower you with kisses like he always does when he sees you, but instead you’re met with complete silence, his figure from the reflection of the mirror completely frozen. Quickly you turn around, nose now wrinkled in confusion, “Jungkook?” you uneasily ask, the young man you were so enamored with only staring at you with a hardened gaze, his expression unreadable.

“Jungkook, what’s wrong?” you ask again, your voice laced with concern, “Did something happen? Do I need to change my setlist? Cause I can easily do that, I mean a perf—”

“You’re not performing tonight,” he harshly interrupts, your face falling as you hear the annoyance drip from every word.

“Oh,” your skin pales, your voice failing to hide its disappointment, “Can I ask why?”

“Because I told the committee you’re not, I managed to find a replacement last minute,” your face crinkles in shock.

“Wait what?” What the hell was going on? Why would Jungkook do that? Did you do something? Your heart begins to thud against your chest, the tingling feeling in the soles of your feet quickly spreading all over your body, “Why—Why would … why would you do something like that?” your eyebrows furrow, the feeling of anger now rising from the pits of your stomach.

Jungkook chuckles before pulling out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, “You really had me fooled Y/N,” he purses his lips, trying his best to contain his anger, “I cannot believe I let things get this far with you,” his voice shakes, every word seething with anger.

“What the hell are you talking about?” you cry out, genuinely lost. Uncrumpling the piece of paper, he turns it towards your direction, “Am I supposed to know what that is?” you snap, your face becoming red at his vague comments.

“You know you could really stop with that whole stupid act of yours,” he spits, “Honestly I should’ve known better than to trust someone like you,” he lets out a dry laugh.

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” you clench your fist.

“Well here take a look at it for yourself,” harshly, you snatch the letter from his hands, your eyes quickly skim through the contents of it. 

“You think I wrote this?” your eyes widen in shock, now getting up from your seat and handing the letter back to him.  

“I know you did,” he laughs, flailing his arms in the process, “Really Y/N? Jimin? Of all people? Did you really think it wouldn’t come back to me?” he almost sounds disgusted.

“But I didn’t! This isn’t even my handwriting!” tears of both frustration and anger begin to well in your eyes, “You have to believe me!” your voice booms across the room.

“I don’t have to believe shit!” he finally yells, the veins from his neck now popping out, “Your signature and name are written in these Y/N! You know how embarrassing this is?” he presses, “All because you can’t keep your fucking legs closed!” your mouth gapes in shock,  “And God I can only imagine the amount of men you’ve probably tried seducing, I’m just the idiot who fell for it all,” he laughs, “And you know I kept trying to tell myself that you wouldn’t do something like this, that you wouldn’t try seducing a married man,” his words drip with sarcasm, “But you have!”

Rapidly you try to blink your tears away, refusing to let him see you cry, “You don’t mean that,” you whisper, shaking your head at his words.

“But I do!” he bites back, “But you know what it's fine,” he knew the next words that were going to come out of his mouth were going to be a low blow. And in the back of his mind he knew he didn’t mean them, but he was angry, no, he was furious. He didn’t care what he had to say, he wanted you to feel just as hurt as he was, “it’s fine because I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing you’ll be stuck here for the rest of your life doing God knows what like the who—”

“Can you stop,” you try to scream, but instead your voice comes out hoarse, your lower lip trembling in sadness, “please,” you whisper, no longer being able to take any of this, “I didn’t write those letters,” you repeat, desperate for him to listen to you, “I know you have reason to believe Jimin, he’s your long time friend, I understand that, and I know my job doesn’t exactly have the best reputation,” you ramble with your words, heaving in between, “But I wouldn’t do this to you!”

“And why should I believe you?”

“Because I,” your voice shakes, “Because I’m in love with you,” you cry out, “Don’t you get it? In love,” you emphasize, moving your hands in frustration, “You think I would’ve kept this going for so long if I didn’t feel something for you?” He remains silent, “I fell in love with you, okay? You!” you scream , “The way you kiss me, the way you touch me,, the way you laugh at every corny joke I make, the way you reassure me about myself whenever I feel insecure, the way your eyes light up whenever you talk about something that fascinates you whether it be boring old stocks to future industrial revolutions,” you let out a choked sob, “or the way you have this compulsion to squeeze my cheeks every time you tease me, and I could go on and on.”

“You’re my person,” you whimper, the final plea in this tragic story.

He turns his gaze to the floor, refusing to look at you, “I was never yours to begin with,” he mutters, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind, leaving you to ask yourself, What. Just. Happened?

Leaning against the door frame, Catherine exhales whatever’s left of her cigar, butting the stub on the wall. “You know, I really don’t mind moving to my parent’s country townhouse,” she casually says, calmly watching her soon to be ex-husband pack his office belongings.

It had been two weeks since your argument with Jungkook, and though he couldn’t confidently say that you hadn’t been on his mind everyday since, he was sure he would be just fine. Of course, he had been sad the first couple of days, then the sadness had become anger once again, until finally he was where he was currently at. Numbness.

Distracting himself with loads of paperwork, working overtime, and being in the midst of a divorce was doing wonders. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if now at the age of twenty-two, greys hairs started to appear because of the overwhelming stress he had to deal with.

Bringing himself back to reality, he’s quick to reject Catherine’s idea, “No, it’s fine, you picked out this place to begin with,” he chuckles, “Hell, I still remember how excited you were about decorating and the effort you put into all of this,” he gives her a small apologetic smile, “it’s only right that you stay. Honestly, I don’t see why you wouldn’t, you did an amazing job with this place.”

“Still, you paid for this place, it’s under your name,” she responds, “This place is just too much of a—” she hesitates.

“Reminder,” Jungkook completes, now having stopped his packing. The two stand there in what couldn’t be described as an awkward silence, but one of understanding.

“A reminder of what we illusioned ourselves in,” she looks down at her ring finger, smiling at its empty sight, “it’s funny,” she laughs, “even before you started the affair, I used to look down at my ring, and for some reason I never did feel,” she pauses, “what’s the word,” she takes a couple of seconds to regain herself, “I never truly felt… happy,” she states, surprised at how such a simple word could mean so much, “but now I look at the sight of it being gone, and I feel relieved, in fact, I feel... free,” she reiterates, her eyes now watery.

“We were young and pressured, I didn’t even have a sense of my own identity yet, and I mean not that it’s any excuse for what you did,” she emphasizes, “but I’m sure you didn’t have one either, I guess we were just too busy trying to please our respective families,” she scoffs, a smile now on her face, “I still even get your birthday confused sometimes,” she jokes around, causing Jungkook to flash his toothy grin at her, “Never did I bother to learn the small details about you,” she inhales and exhales a deep breath, “but she did,” she says, breaking eye contact with Jungkook, not because she was mad or sad, but because she’d come to realize something.

“I was in love with the idea of you, the things you would buy me, the compliments I would get from everyone around me, the idea of being able to flaunt a perfect life, but I think, no, I know I was never in love with you,” she looks at Jungkook once again, tears now freely flowing from his eyes, a chapter in their life now coming to its end.

“I don’t hate you for what you did Jungkook,” she blinks her own tears away, personally tired of all the crying she’s done, “nor do I hate Y/N,” she says, for the first time saying your name, the name smoothly rolling off the tip of her tongue, no ill feeling behind it, “I just wish things could’ve been different, in terms of us realizing that we were just never meant to be,” she finishes off, the final wave finally washing over her. The feeling of acceptance.

Catherine slowly walks towards him, embracing the crying man into a hug, giving him a small heartfelt kiss to the cheek, “I really am sorry Catherine,” he whispers, the words being nothing but genuine.

“I know,” she whispers in return. Gently, she breaks from the hug, wiping the tears that brimmed her eyes, “Come on, you gotta finish your packing,” she says, rolling the sleeves of her robe, and making her way to his desk.

“It’s fine really,” he starts, but she’s quick to ignore him and begin her rummaging of his things. So instead of fighting against her help, he goes back to continuing with what he was doing, the two quietly organizing things, finally at peace.

“I think that’s the last of it,” Jungkook huffs, taping the final cardboard box of paperwork. The two step back and look at the empty room, feeling proud of their hard work, “Well I’m gonna go take this down,” Catherine nods in response, Jungkook now leaving the room.

Her eyes scan the room one last time, making sure nothing was getting left behind, until surprisingly, she does in fact catch something from the corner of her eye. The edge of a piece of paper below the wooden bookshelf sticking out, “That’s weird,” she mumbles to herself, surprised at how she failed to notice it earlier.

Crouching down, she picks up the torn piece of paper, her eyebrows now furrowing at its incompleteness, with only half of the whole sheet being there. She turns the direction of the paper to where there’s writing, her eyes widening at what she sees, “Oh no,” she whispers to herself, trying to think quick on her feet, “The trashcan,” she says to herself, quickly grabbing it and tossing the remnants onto the floor, her breathing now uneasy as she sat on the floor, beginning to uncrumple the pieces of torn paper, silently hoping what she was thinking was all some twisted joke.

With her burst of adrenaline she somehow reassembles the ripped letter, her stomach dropping at the sight of the complete version, completely ignoring the footsteps that were making their way up.

To Jimin,

I’ve had my eye on you for a while now, you should come backstage sometime for your own personal show, just like your friend. I’m sure he won’t mind. Honestly, I’ve been getting a little bored of him these days. And don’t worry, I don’t mind seeing that ring on your finger. You know where to find me…

XO, Y/N.

“Mr. Olsen seems to have gotten a new ca—” Jungkook stops dead in his tracks, immediately tensing at the sight in front of him, “Catherine what are—” Jungkook doesn’t continue with what he’s about to say, the sight of Catherine’s shocked face now confusing him more than ever.

“Oh Amelia, what did you do,” she quietly breathes out, her face now frozen in place, and her hand covering her mouth.  

“What?” Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow, “Amelia? What does Amelia have to do with—” his face immediately falls, his heart sinking at his realization.

“This,” Catherine stutters, “This is her handwriting,” she says, now looking up at Jungkook, whose face was in just as much as shock as hers, “I swear Jungkook, I didn’t know she’d do something like this,” Catherine rubs her temple, “Last time I saw her, she was bad mouthing Y/N but I didn’t she’d—” she shakes her head in dismay, “Jungkook, if I would’ve known I promise you I would’ve stopped her,” Catherine’s words sound like nothing but echoes in Jungkook’s head, his mind currently racing through a countless number of thoughts. His words from the last time he saw you now echoing in his head, the look on your face etching into his mind, oh how you kept denying the letter. The sudden pang of guilt, much too overwhelming.

“I know Catherine,” he whispers, but  all he could do was stare at the letter on the floor. And as if time was frozen, he slowly glances at the mantel clock, his heart now pounding.

8:15 PM.

You should be performing in a bit, he thinks. Immediately he switches gears, hurriedly grabbing the coat on his desk and placing it on, “I,” he stutters, a frenzy look on his face, “I have to go,” he says, quickly running out the door. The only thing he could do was hope he’d catch you on time.

“Oh look who's back, it seems I haven’t seen you in a while,” the sultry hostess purrs, “oh and that ring of yours is gone, trouble in paradise?” she pouts, guiding him to one of the tables. Politely he makes a motion to her, as if to say that he was fine, “Mm well if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, you know where to find me hun,” she winks, making her way back to the greeting area.

Jungkook, feeling as if he couldn’t breathe, adjusts his tie. His leg now bouncing rapidly in complete anxiousness, feeling the stares of a certain someone. He turns to face whoever it is, finding both the bartender and his girlfriend, whose names he was unsure of, staring at him from the bar.

The woman slyly mixes her drink with her stirrer, eyes narrowing at the sight of him, refusing to look away. The man then whispers something to her, making her finally break away from the intense stare.

Jungkook turns back around, the heavy feeling in his chest making it hard to focus on the current performer, not that he really wanted to, but he needed a distraction, something to prevent him from drowning in his own thoughts.  

The claps mellow down as the curtains close, the famous club owner, Al, making his way to the front of the stage, mic now in hand. Jungkook felt as if his stomach was doing flips, both excited and nervous to see you, as he knew you’d probably be quick to spot him, only hoping he wouldn’t scare you off.

“She’s got a voice sent from the heavens above, almost as smooth as a Friday’s glass of whiskey,” Al starts off your usual introduction, Jungkook’s heart pounding with every word spoken, “she can sing, she can dance, she can act, she’s a triple threat of course! And to add to it all, she’s got the face of the doll,” the red curtain slowly begins to open, “she’s our newest star in the making, give a warm welcome for Miss Sally Rose!”

A young woman appears from behind the curtain, counting off the same way you always did, making the same exact motion you always do to the band. Jungkook could feel himself become sick as he heard the men begin to holler at her with every piece of clothing that began to drop, as long as they had something to satisfy their lust, it didn’t matter who was on that stage, as they were nothing but animals.

Where the hell were you? This was, no, this is your time slot. Maybe you’re out sick, he tells himself, no, you loved the stage more than anything. The same woman from earlier passes by with drinks in her hands, on her way to serve God knows who. He’s quick to flag her down, hoping she knew where you were, “What can I do for you handsome?” she winks.

“You don’t happen to know where Y/N is?” he politely asks.

The question causes her to scoff, “Oh darling, me and the girls have been wondering the same thing,” she chuckles, before walking away with her drinks, leaving Jungkook much more puzzled than before. Maybe you were late, he excuses, trying not to panic.

But as every performer begins and ends, the more restless he becomes, every drink he takes only causing the echoes from every holler to become more and more irritating, the world around him now spinning.

An hour later, the young woman comes out again, performing the final song of the night, just like you always would do. Truthfully speaking, he would’ve paid no mind to the performance, but something catches Jungkook’s eye. The woman seems to have her gaze fixed on a young man in the crowd, his wife chattering with the other woman sitting next to her. The same way Catherine would—he shakes his head in dismissal, blaming what he was seeing on his drunk state.

He’s quick to get up, deciding that it was best to momentarily take a step outside and catch a breather. You had to be backstage or something, he tells himself, deciding that he’d wait until everyone was gone to see you, just like he always did.

“Things will be just fine,” he whispers, mouth trembling from the cold weather.

Sighing, Jungkook takes one last look at his empty ring finger before making his way back inside, his nerves at an all time high. He knew you were avoiding him, and he knew he was probably the last person you wanted to see, but he needed to tell you that he was sorry. That what he said was something spoken out of anger, that he was hurt, and most importantly that he should’ve believed you.

Walking in, he sees the bartender flipping chairs on top of the table, presumably cleaning up for the night. Most nights, Jungkook would simply go straight backstage, as you had told him early on in the affair that there was no need for him to introduce himself to your co-workers, but tonight, well tonight he felt like an intruder.

He stands there momentarily, the stiffness in the room almost suffocating.

“She’s gone,” the young man bitterly scoffs, not bothering to spare a glance at Jungkook, “I thought you knew that already,” he mumbles to himself, as he continued to flip the wooden chairs and place them atop of the tables, finishing what was left of cleaning.

Jungkook stares at him for a moment, the words slowly processing in his head. What did he mean by you were “gone”? You wouldn’t leave, it was unlike you. Actually, no, you couldn’t leave, where did you have to go?

He shakes his head in dismissal, shooting the brown haired man a quizzical look, “What did you say again?'" he asks. Namjoon finally looks up from what he’s doing.

Jungkook expected a spiteful glare from Namjoon, one full of hatred for what he had done to his friend, but instead his eyes were hard-rimmed and fixed, immobile as the rest of his face. Almost as if he was studying Jungkook. The cold blank look on his face sends shivers down Jungkook’s spine, but he relents on breaking the cold stare, until finally Namjoon lets out a dry laugh.

“I knew you were a hard-headed person,” he nods his head in dismay, a superficial grin on his face, “you’re also a selfish one, so I should’ve known better,” he laughs again, in awe of how someone could be so … inconsiderate? Was that the word to describe Jungkook? Namjoon thought to himself, why were you so in love with this man, simply finding it hard to believe that you could fall for a man so self-centered.

“Haven’t you noticed by now that she’s been replaced?” Namjoon mocks, “or let me guess you thought you could waltz in here like a knight in shining armor, that she was on some kind of break or something and would forget the things you said, and then things would magically go back to normal,” Jungkook remains silent, “Well?” Namjoon deadpans.

“Y/N wouldn’t just leave like that,” Jungkook says, “it’s not like her,” Namjoon was lying, he had to be.

Namjoon shrugs, “Well guess what she’s gone, I could only wish I knew where. She just grabbed her things and left without a trace, no goodbye, no nothing, but go ahead, look for yourself,” Namjoon makes a motion towards your old dressing room.

Slowly Jungkook breaks eye contact, unsure of what to believe. Quietly he makes his way to the dressing room he’d been in a countless number of times in the past year, still in denial of what Namjoon just told him.

He lets out a deep breath before turning the door knob, a churning feeling in his stomach as he recalled the last time he was here, his words ringing in his head.

Immediately Jungkook feels his heart plummet as he sees the empty room, your vanity which was once full of makeup and bottled perfumes was now vacant of anything and the hangers which were once used for your extravagant outfits as well as your fluffy coats now hung unused.

Jungkook crouches to pick up the only thing that remained of you in the room, the golden glass-framed picture you had of yourself performing now shattered on the floor, a small snapshot of the star you were. He smiles in reminiscence, remembering the night the photo was taken, and how you kept rambling on about why Jungkook would spend so much to have the photo of someone like yourself taken, let alone a photo of your worst angle. But you had kept it nonetheless, hell you even hung it on the wall for safekeeping, only for it to be shattered by the same person who gifted it.

“You didn’t!” you gasp, picking up the framed photo which had been placed on your vanity desk, “When did you even take—how—” Jungkook quickly shuts you up by cupping your face, and giving you a kiss, immediately squishing your cheeks in the playful manner that he always did.

“Don’t worry about it,” he says, “I thought since you didn’t want to accept my gift last time, a sincere one like this would be something you just couldn’t deny.”

“Those pearls were too much,” you shake your head in disapproval, “and you know why I couldn’t accept it,” the image of Catherine pops in your head as he remains silent, but you’re quick to shrug it off, “but this,” you say, waving the picture he had seen a plenty of times before tonight to his face, “this is special,” you grin.

“I knew you’d love it,” he smiles, giving you another peck on the lips.

“Honestly, you shouldn't have,” you laugh, still in disbelief of the photo of yourself. Hell, to have a portrait of yourself taken behind a plain old wall was already something expensive here in New York, and so to have a photo taken of yourself while performing was truly indescribable. “Too bad they got my worst angle,” you complain, causing him to roll his eyes. Grabbing the framed photo from your hands, he places it over the empty nail on the wall.

“Won’t you look at that,” he smiles, his arm wrapped around your shoulder, the two of you now silently admiring the hung photo.

“Jungkook?” you break the prolonged silence.  

He hums in response, turning his head to face you, your heart feeling as swelled as the ocean once near its moon.

“I—” you pause, just get the words out, you think to yourself. Maybe things would finally change. He stares at you in the same doe-eyed expression he always did whenever he was attentively listening to you, curious as to what you were thinking, “I just wanted to say thank you… for the photo,” you awkwardly smile, Jungkook slightly raising his eyebrow at your sudden behavior, but he doesn’t dwell on it too much, instead placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

The memory being one for a lifetime. 

Jungkook dusts off the glass fragments, carefully trying not to cut himself as his fingers graze over the flimsy developed photo. And as he studies the photo, the realization finally hits him, you were really gone.

“I’ll be fine,” he whispers to himself in a distant, quiet, lifeless voice, “I’ll be just fine,” he grazes the photo again, slowly crouching into his knees, photo still in hand, until finally the sounds of silent muffled sobs is the only thing that can be heard from your dressing room.

Namjoon quietly sweeps the floor, humming some Duke Ellington, trying his best to ignore the thoughts that lingered in the back of his mind. Jungkook had left hours ago, Namjoon having heard the silent cries from your dressing room, and for a slight second even making eye contact with the red puffy-eyed man as he left, who had been mumbling inaudible things to himself.  

He didn’t think he’d cry, was what Namjoon had first thought to himself after hearing Jungkook silently sob in your empty dressing room. He honestly expected Jungkook to do anything but cry, hell Namjoon had even told himself to be ready to throw some punches just in case he tried anything stupid.

And so to see Jeon Jungkook, the man who had been coming to this bar for the past year, never failing to order a classic gin and tonic, and always seeming like he was on top of the world, break down in a tiny isolated room, was almost something unimaginable. And for some reason it bothered Namjoon. It wasn’t that Jungkook wasn’t allowed to cry...

Namjoon momentarily stops what he’s doing, sighing in frustration.

It bothered him because it went against everything he thought of Jungkook, the image he had created for Jungkook in his head. It would mean that Jungkook was someone who never meant to be so selfish, but was someone who was emotionally blind to those around him.

And isn’t the unknown always a bit scary?

The only problem was that being blind was something involuntary, and with the countless stories you’d tell Namjoon from time to time, sometimes it seemed like Jungkook was voluntarily choosing to ignore the feelings of those around him.

Namjoon could only speculate why, but maybe, just maybe Jungkook was the kind of person who had long ago put his personal feelings aside to please those around him, including his wife, thinking that it’d be what was best.That he could live a numbing life as long as it meant those around him were satisfied, that it was enough to feel fulfilled with, until you came into the mix.

And once you did, the conflict of choosing what made him happy versus what made others happy while trying to spare both sides’ feelings and opinions, only did more harm than good, stupidly choosing to blindly believe of a false letter. 

And now Jungkook was left with no one but himself.

Was it deserved? Namjoon was unsure now. Y/N. Y/N. Y/N, Namjoon thinks to himself.

The only reason he would excuse your actions was because to those around you, seeing you happy was like the sun shining after a storm, a shine so bright you’d think those happy days would last forever, but to see you sad, it was as if the world would storm on end.

But what Namjoon should’ve realized was that at the end of the day, what you and Jungkook had done was wrong, and there was no denying it.

Hell, it even went against Namjoon’s personal beliefs. Of course it didn’t mean that he was no better of a person because the same way you two had to face the karma of your actions, he and Mina would have to reprimand themselves one day as well for excusing your actions. For allowing things to have gotten this far.

“Jungkook really did love you,” he whispers to himself, shaking his head at the conclusion of this awful tale.

Namjoon sighs.

All he could do was hope that he had done the right thing lying to Jungkook about your whereabouts, and that the next time Namjoon saw you, you’d be the successful woman you were always meant to be, and that this period in your life would be nothing more than a small chapter to look back at.

“Ticket ma’am,” the conductor approaches you. Pulling out your ticket from your purse, you allow the conductor to both inspect and punch the ticket with his rustic clipper, “Now what is a pretty New York doll like you going all the way to the city of Los Angeles for?” he chimes, “You sure you ain’t lost little lady?” he jokes, causing you to laugh.

“I sure ain’t, I’m going to Los Angeles to follow my dreams in becoming famous! You might even catch me on the big screen soon!” you gush, causing him to let out a chuckle.

“Well little lady, I’ve heard that one before and I’ve told every single person I’ve come across that it’s almost impossible,” he mentions, “And I have yet to be proven wrong,”

“Well Mr,” you glance at his name tag, “Rosco, you better remember my name and face because I’m going to make it big in Hollywoodland, I don’t care if it’s as a singer or as an actress, but just you wait!” you declare, a toothy grin plastered on your face.

“Well little miss,” he glances at the ticket which has your name printed in a red colored font, “y/n, I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve met anyone with the same amount of enthusiasm you got going for yourself,” a genuine smile comes across his face as he returns you your ticket, “I wish you nothing but the best on your endeavors,” he compliments, before making his way to the seated passenger in front of you.

Looking out the train’s window, the fields of grass along with the bright blue sky that were being passed by faster than a speeding bullet, for some reason make you feel a longing for home, it was probably because everything was barely hitting you. From the moment he had said what he did in your argument, everything onward had been nothing but a sporadic adrenaline-rushed blur.

“Jungkook?” you ask to an empty room, the shakiness of your voice coming to realize the reality of what has just occurred. The sinking feeling in your chest was what could only be described as heartbreak, though it felt like so much more.

He’s coming back, he’s going to come back. He has to come back, you keep repeating to yourself. Jungkook loves you. He didn’t mean what he said. He couldn’t.

You stare at the photo you had hung on the wall, which was now cracked on the floor, a result at just how harsh the door had been slammed. You could feel the lump in your throat beginning to take its form, but you refuse to let it out. He’s coming back, he has to.

The sound of the door knob twisting quickly grabs your attention, a feeling of relief washing over you. You knew he’d come back. You were his girl, you were the love of his life.

But just as quick as the relief had come, it had left even faster once you saw that the person you thought walking through that door was in fact not Jungkook, but Namjoon who stood there in silence, trying to hide the look of pity on his face. “Y/N…” he whispers in sadness.

“N-No,” your lips wobble, “No,” you begin to vigorously shake your head in denial, “No!” you quaver out, desperately trying to blink back the floodgate of tears that was begging to be released. Namjoon could feel his gut clench at the hopelessness of the situation, knowing that there was nothing he could possibly do because Jungkook was gone, and he was not coming back.

He watches as the tears slowly begin to freely fall, the silent sobs finally escaping from your mouth. Your chest heaves, until finally a cry so raw comes out of your mouth that you grab onto your vanity chair so that your shaking would not cause you to fall.

Quickly, he makes his way to envelope you in a tight hug, humming small comforting words to your ear despite knowing that you probably weren’t listening. You sob into his chest unceasingly, your hand clutching onto Namjoon’s jacket as he held you in silence, rocking you slowly as your tears soaked his chest, blinking back his own tears. The two of you stand there for what seems like forever, the sound of your muffled sobs filling the air.

The wet mascara that was mixing itself with your tears stinging your eyes, almost as if it was trying to force you to stop crying, but you just couldn’t. With every sob that forced its way out, your chest would rise and fall unevenly as you gasped for breath.

How could he do this? Why? Things weren’t supposed to end like this. Not at all. “Shh, shh,” Namjoon hums, “you’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” he reassures. You wanted to scream, to say something, anything, but nothing could come out. If anything you could feel your lungs scream for oxygen, your airway becoming compressed with every hysterical sob that was let out.

Quickly pushing off Namjoon, you feel as if the world is spinning and that the walls of your dressing room were closing in. You begin to gasp over and over, hysterically tapping on your stomach, “Get this,” you heave out, “Get this off of me!” you breathe out, lifting your dress up, and desperately trying to unknot the corset you were wearing underneath.

Namjoon quickly grabs some scissors from your vanity, cutting the piece of ribbon which held together the piece of fabric that clinched your waist. Immediately, you could feel the air return to your lungs, a feeling of relaxation now washing over you, as the riptide finally mellowed down.

You stand in front of the mirror, staring at the reflection across from you, your tears silently falling from your cheeks. Namjoon makes his way behind you, tucking your loose strands of hair behind your ear, “Hey, listen to me,” he whispers, “you are going to be just fine,” he firmly states.

“Joon?”

“Hm,” he responds.

“Can you,” your voice cracks, “Can you just take me home?” Your question is met with silence because instead he grabs a big oversized coat from your rack and places it over your shoulders.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he says, watching you as you made your way out of the dressing room, for what he knew would be your last time.

Waking up to the feeling of a hand firmly shaking your shoulder, your heavy eyelids struggling to flutter open, the soreness from crying taking its toll. You must’ve fallen asleep during the car ride home, you reason, finally managing to open your eyes completely. You rub your eyes, confused as to where you were because this was definitely not the outside of your apartment building.

In fact, you were outside of Grand Central Terminal, “What the..” you turned to face Namjoon, who had a sad smile on his face, “Joon? What’s,” you falter your words, “What’s going on?” you ask, confusion now overwhelming you.

He lets out a deep sigh of sadness before continuing, “You’re going to California Y/N,” if you had been half-awake before, you certainly weren’t now, quickly jolting forward in shock, “Los Angeles or may I say Hollywoodland to be more specific,” he reiterates, a tiny chuckle coming out of his mouth.

“J-Joon,” you stutter, “you’re crazy!” you sputter, “Absolutely crazy!” you hit his shoulder causing him to let out a yelp in pain.

“Y/N I’m being serious!” he turns and points to the passenger seat of his car, “I even managed to pack most of your things while you were asleep, all the essentials are in those two luggage bags.”

“How did you even—” you shake your head, trying to stay on topic, “Joon I can’t just pack up my things and go, I have—” you hesitate with your next choice of words, what exactly did you have in New York that was holding you back?

Namjoon answers the question before you could, “Nothing. You have absolutely nothing here to hold you back, so why not go chase your dream huh?” he exclaims, “It’s what you’ve always wanted to do Y/N and I’m one hundred percent sure Hollywoodland is looking for a doll face like yours to go shake up the scene,” he laughs, “You can dance, you can sing, and you sure can act, especially those days you wouldn’t want to come into work,” he jokingly mumbles garnering him another slap to the shoulder, “Hey, hey, relax! Point is Y/N, you’re one of the most talented people I know, if not the most talented person I’ve ever met, and it’d be a waste of talent for you not to go out there and show people what you’re made of, Hell I even hear they’re beginning to develop sound films over there, and a voice like yours needs to be memorialized for future generations,” he says, as tears to begin to brim your waterlids.  

“But Joon—” you sniffle, “I don't, I don’t have the money to live out there, hell I barely have enough money in my purse to purchase myself a ticket,” you scoff because it was the truth.

“I know you don’t,” he deadpans, causing you to laugh.

“Then?” you chuckle. Slowly, he flips his coat and reaches into its inner pocket, pulling out and handing you what seemed to be a heavy envelope. You peep inside the sealed white envelope, it’s content causing you to let out a small yelp in surprise. There had to be at least 200 dollars in there! You quickly shake your head in disapprovement.

“Joon, no, no, no! You can't. You've been saving up for—!”

“Hey! Listen to me Y/N, look at me,” he demands, grabbing your hands which had been flailing around in denial. “This money right here means absolutely nothing to me if it means that someone like you can get the opportunity to pursue their dreams, especially because I know it’ll mean absolutely everything for you,” he smiles.

“But Joon, you’ve been saving up this money for your wedding for so long, I can’t, Mina’s going to kill you!” you fluster, Namjoon must’ve been going crazy or something. He’d been working so many hours for the past months, doing countless hours of overtime and being on his best behavior for some tips, how could he give it all up for some gamble at fame?

“I’ve already spoken to her about this and she had absolutely no problem with it!” he laughs, “A wedding is nothing but a celebration for a piece of signed paper, it won’t be the end of the world if we wait a little longer,” he reassures, “As long as Mina and I know we’re in this for life, then that piece of paper won’t change anything.”

“Joon I can’t—”

“You can and you will Y/N,” he firmly states, “plus you can always pay me back once you get rich and famous,” he teases, winking at you. “So, what do you say Y/N? You ready to go to Los Angeles?” You stare at him without blinking, a million thoughts racing through your head. This was your dream, the thing you’d spent a countless number of nights only imagining whenever you’d get up on that wooden stage to perform, and now you were finally going to get the chance to make it a reality.

“I don’t,” you hesitate, “I’m,” you feel your skin tingle with the words you’re about to say, now having made your decision, “I’m going to Hollywoodland,” you softly cry out in disbelief, a dimpled grin appearing on Namjoon’s face.

“Atta girl,” tears which weren’t of sadness, anger, but joy now falling from your face, as you quickly pull Namjoon into a hug. Slowly, he breaks away, “Come on, you gotta get going,” he glances at his wrist watch, which read a quarter past nine, “the train leaves half past nine, and I still gotta walk you to the departing area.”

Quickly buttoning up your coat and fixing your hair, you try your best to seem presentable, Namjoon grabbing your luggage from the backseat and exiting the vehicle, as you do the same, but for you it all feels different. Looking up to the building that surrounds the terminal, you soak in the final view of New York which you wouldn't be seeing for who knows how long. Years ago you’d imagine leaving home, but never like this, and for a moment it was as if time slowed down, almost like your brain needed a “photograph” to commemorate this moment,

The man playing on his saxophone outside the station for tips only adding a warm comfort to your fears, a reminiscent sound which was a balm to your mind, a reminder of the nostalgic chapter in your life that you’d look back to, whether it was with a joyful outlook was only for you to decide.

Slowly the two of you begin to walk to the departing area, your legs feeling more and more wobbly with every step you took. This was really happening.

“Here we are,” Namjoon announces, gently placing your luggage on the floor, and then placing hands against his hips in marvel at how gigantic the stationed train was. Your eyes glisten, once again pulling Namjoon into a hug. “You sure are emotional, you know that right?” he teases, causing you to only further tighten the hug.

You pull out the hug, “I’m going to write to you every week, I promise you!” you avow, causing Namjoon to immediately shake his head in disagreement.

“No, no, you have to focus on your career every waking minute Y/N, if anything just save a couple of bucks every month and ring me here and there, I’m always at the club most of the time and it’s not like you don’t know my schedule, plus I’m sure Al won’t charge me for using the telephone machine every once in a while,” he explains, voice slightly wavering, as his eyes were now glossy from trying to hold back his tears causing you to let out a laugh.

“Come on, you know you wanna cry,” you sniffle, pulling him in for another hug.

“Ah, I’m gonna miss you Y/N,” he laughs through his tears, “they don’t make em like you anymore.”

“This is the final boarding call for New York to Los Angeles which includes a stop at Chicago!” the conductor yells out the train, “I repeat, this is the final boarding call for New York to Los Angeles!” Namjoon quickly taps on your shoulders, rushing you to get on board.

Swiftly, you pick up the luggage cases on the floor, and begin to make your way inside the train but not before shouting something to Namjoon, “Hey, I expect to see a pregnant Mina the next time I see you guys, you hear me!” he facepalms himself, his cheeks becoming red at how loudly you announced it.

You quickly run to your seat, looking at Namjoon through the window, who remained where he stood, the train slowly beginning to move, while the conductor pulls the lever for the steam whistle, the final declaration to the new chapter in your life. You anxiously wave to Namjoon one last time, a grand smile on both of your faces, as he waves in return. The (what you assumed) family members of other passengers also waved goodbye, many teary eyed as you could only imagine the stories of everyone else on the train.

Once you were out of eyesight, you made yourself comfortable on your seat, slightly tilting your head against the window, a long unexpected trip now ahead of you.

Los Angeles from what you could currently tell was definitely different than to what you were used to in New York, but beautiful nonetheless. The cab you managed to pin down was currently driving you to the small motel you found on one of the welcoming pamphlets of the city.

Currently, you were being driven down the newly built Sunset Boulevard, where you could only hope you’d be living on sometime in the near future.

“Ah there it is,” the taxi driver points out the window, and immediately a wonderstruck look appears on your face, your heart now pounding in excitement at the sight of the word “Hollywoodland” appearing from the mountains. “Welcome to Los Angeles kid,” the man says, to which you only nod your head in dumbfoundedness, “you better make the most of it.”

“I sure am.”

a/n: i purposely left the ending ambiguous just because i felt like it should be your guys’ imagination as to whether y/n makes it big in hollywood depending on whether you like her or not LOL, so if you don’t like her you could always imagine she flopped or sum, and whatever jungkook does afterward being unknown as well. Catherine a better person than me, cause forgiving a cheater just aint in my heart LMAO.

also I wanted to dive further into namjoon and y/n’s friendship, as well as add a scene where y/n went shopping for her dress but I was burning out and so hopefully I did good conveying the sincerity of their friendship and the importance of the event to y/n + talk more about jk’s and catherine’s families but I think I put enough hints, that you guys would get the point and its effects on them as people. 

Feel free to comment, send me a message, or drop an anon! Anything is appreciated & if you can please like and reblog 💘 till next time.

[kiingocreative]

The Structure of Story is now available! Check it out on Amazon, via the link in our bio, or at https://kiingo.co/book

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If you ask around, a lot of successful writers will tell you that they look at their writing the same way they would a business. And what do successful business all have in common? They have clearly defined brands that are designed to appeal to their target audience or customers.

What does that mean, concretely?

• It means that they know what they stand for, what their values are and what they’re offering.

• It means that they know who their target customer is, in terms of demographics, likes and dislikes, and general lifestyle or habits.

• It means that their messaging and content is tailored to appeal to that type of customer…

• …So that, ultimately, when their ideal customer lands on their social media pages or website, they can relate to everything on there and be more inclined to purchase a product or service.

Being a writers is no different, in that your work will be, by design, targeted to only a segment of the population. Nurturing your brand is how you’ll ensure your book will be put in front of the right readers, and have the best possible chances of success.

Before you set out on your journey to building your online presence, therefore, think about what you want your channels to reflect—be it across social media or through your website. The online image you’ll be creating has to be consistent across all of the mediums you are leveraging.

This by no means implies your online persona should be fake—quite the opposite in fact! The more genuine your online image is, the easier it will be to maintain over time and the more believable and consistent it will appear (because it’ll be true!).

Why Your Online Image Matters.

Trying to maintain a fake image will, at best, make it unconvincing and, at worst, confusing.

And that’s the thing.

Most people reject what they don’t understand. If they check out your content and it looks all over the place or doesn’t make sense, they’ll simply move on. Confusion turns people away from your content before they’ve had a chance to hear what you have to say.

Ask yourself some questions before you start:

• Who are you? What makes you, YOU? What is unique to you?

• When people think of you, what do you want them to think about? Someone who’s fun? Quirky? Talks about things as they are? Someone who’s formal? Someone with a particular interest? etc.

• How does this translate into the look and feel and content of your social media channels, your website etc.?

Take some time to write this down and use it to create your brand guidelines. And I mean exactly that: write it down. Make it a rulebook, and refer to it regularly. It may change and evolve with time, but having a reference point you can physically consult (as opposed to shreds of an idea of what your brand is about somewhere in your mind) will keep you and your brand on track.

Everything you post about, and the format in which you share it (e.g. photos, videos, long captions, blog posts, newsletter etc.) should be in line with the image you’re building.

From there, identify who your target audience is, and make sure your message (and its delivery) is relatable and appealing to that audience. It can take some trial and error to get right, so give yourself room to learn and grow!

Your Instagram Brand: Content vs. Aesthetics.

Looking at Instagram, you’ll see two main types of focus:

• Focus on aesthetics: these are feeds with high quality, impeccable pictures, quirky reels/videos, with a consistent theme and colour palette, and a huge focus on being visually pleasing.

• Focus on content: feeds where more thought and effort is placed on the post captions.

There are different ratios in which you can combine the two. Go back to your brand guidelines and see which ratio or combination of the two feels like a better fit. Ask yourself what would be more relatable for your target audience. Find what resonates most with you and your brand and stick to it, especially at the beginning when you’re growing a platform.

If you’re unsure what’s right for you, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. Take some time to browse Bookstagram and find accounts you like. See what they’re doing and use the techniques you can see are working for them and feel right to you. Find what works, throw away what doesn’t.

Whatever you do, keep it consistent.

Wherever you land on the ‘aesthetics focus’ to ‘content focus’ ratio, as with a lot of things the first thing that people see when they land onto your channels (be it your instagram feed, your website etc.) is… Well. What they SEE.

People’s opinion of you based on your content will likely be formed (often subconsciously) within seconds of landing on your website or feed. Within those few seconds, they’ll decide whether or not to stick around or bounce, never to come back again.

For that reason, it’s important to keep the look and feel of your content generally consistent. Remember, confusing people is the surest way to fry their brains and turn them away from your channels before they give you, or what you have to say, a chance.

Your channels should all reflect the same look and the same message, i.e. they should look like they belong to the same person, and not show people one person on Instagram, a different one on your website and yet another one on Facebook. Things need to line up for your audience to get a sense of who you are and what you’re about, so that they can evaluate whether or not they can relate to it all. Once again, and I can’t say this enough, confused brand messaging is your worst enemy.

Professional, or not at all.

Consistency is one thing, and it’s crucial, but it’ll mean nothing if your channels don’t all look professional. Professional doesn’t mean it can’t also have a casual vibe, or be a friendly brand. Professional means whatever your brand is, it should have a certain polish to it, and clearly show that it was thought through and well-executed.

If you’re not convinced, riddle me this: When you land on a website that looked hacky or unsafe, do you still stuck around and browse through it? Or when you find an instagram account with burry pictures, weird-looking captions and totally unrelated content throughout, do you still scroll through for more?

…

My guess is you wouldn’t, because when you find something that looks dodgy (or, in other words, unprofessional) you can’t get away from it fast enough. We all do, because on a primal level that sense of uneasiness, uncertainty and insecurity signals to our brain that there may be danger, and it triggers our flight response.

Here are some prompts to get you started with building professional-looking and consistent channels:

On Instagram:

• What’s your Instagram handle? It is unique and memorable? Find a handle that says what it does on the tin, and one that doesn’t include a string of random numbers and letters. e.g. @authorjohnsmith is good, but @johnny_1999 and @John_Smith99 aren’t because they say nothing about who you are and they won’t be easy to remember.

• What type of pictures are you posting? Are they all clear and high-quality?

• Will you be using filters? If so which one? Ideally pick one and stick to it to give your feed a homogeneous look.

• What format are you using for your captions?

• Are your captions properly spaced out and easy to read?

• What content are you planning to post? Will there be recurring themes? If so, which ones?

On your website:

• Does your website look professional? Or does it look like a dodgy website that people will want to run away from immediately?

• Is your domain clear, specific and easy to remember?

• What does your landing page (your website home page) say about you?

• What imagery are you using?

• Is the look and feel of your website aligned with the look and feel of your Instagram feed? i.e. do they look like they belong to the same person?

• If your website navigation clear?

• How many clicks does it take to go from your home page to finding key information about you and your books?

• Is it easy for people to get in touch with you?

REAL and GENUINE does it.

I appreciate that a lot of the information we’ve covered so far sounds like it involves a lot of over-engineering of your online persona, but that isn’t to say that to succeed you need create a fake alter-ego.

Quite the opposite, actually.

What it suggests is that you should take some time to think about what makes you YOU, what feels real and genuine to YOU and to see how you can best translate that into images and content that will help people get to know YOU and what you stand for.

The illusion of perfection won’t make you attractive. All it’ll do is make you seem one-dimensional, and most likely make it look like you lack substance. In this day and age, people like to be able to relate to others and to see what goes on behind the scenes, the good AND the bad.

That’s all that your writer brand is. And the people who can relate to it will be the ones who stick around to hear more of what you have to say and will be more likely to enjoy your books.

In fact, look at it that way: building our writer brand online is like matching-making our books to their ideal readers. It’s getting our work in front of the people who are primed to love it and embrace it. And if we’ll give our characters a chance to find their literary soul-mates, why wouldn’t we grant our books the same courtesy?

[sylvies-chen]

Okay, so non TV fandom related ask but curious to know your ranking of all of Taylor Swift's albums!

OOF OK THIS IS A HARD ONE but thank you so much for the ask anon! I’ve never had to do this before and it’ll definitely be a challenge, but a fun one! Also keep in mind I do like all her albums so even the last place ones are iconic and dear to my heart. Anyway, let’s do it:

*Taylor’s Version for all albums that apply

Folklore: there is not a single song on here that isn’t an absolute banger, 10/10 it’s perfect for spring and summer but also works all year round, convinced this album can do no wrong ✨

Lover: this album never fails to make me feel every single type of happiness. I do have some nitpicky issues with a few songs— like I didn’t love You Need To Calm Down because as someone who’s bi/queer I can say with certainty that homophobia isn’t just a “haters gonna hate” mentality— but honestly Cruel Summer, Daylight, Paper Rings, Lover, they’re all bops that completely make up for it and give you that epic sort of joy when you listen to them. Instant serotonin boost!

*Fearless: honestly I don’t know if this album would have ranked as high for me had there not been a Taylor’s version just because the added songs gave it such an extra pop. Before we knew Red (Taylor’s Version) was coming, this album being remade and expanded was something completely unprecedented and new. It still would have ranked high in my head regardless, because it has so many songs I consider to be quintessential to the early days country Taylor!

Evermore: BEAUTIFUL ALBUM, gorgeous gorgeous girls love Evermore!! only reason it doesn’t rank higher for me is because it makes me cry too much so I have to be in the mood to get emotional (which, in all fairness, most of the time I am)

*Red: again, probably would have ranked Red a little lower had it not been for Taylor’s Version because the dumb ass internet ruined a few of the songs on the original album for me by doing the most traumatizing parodies ever. But then Red (Taylor’s Version) came and Phoebe Bridgers popped in for a duet and Taylor blessed us whth the LEGEND that is All Too Well (10-minute version), so really idk what I’d do with myself if this album DIDN’T exist.

Speak Now: this one is like peak angsty tortured yet epic love, like Haunted and Enchanted and Dear John and Sparks Fly like CMON, if you ever go numb and need to feel something, put this album on. It’s an emotional awakening!! There are some songs on here that I just find a little forgettable, like Innocent or Long Live, but that doesn’t mean they’re not good! I just wouldn’t have remembered them if I hadn’t been listening to the full album to prepare for this post.

Reputation: I feel like people are going to hate me for putting this one so low on my list but don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the songs!! they’re so fucking good! The only issue I have is that when it was released, it was so clouded by the drama of Taylor v. Kim K sparked by Look What You Made Me Do that the press kept pushing, so I just got annoyed and couldn’t fully enjoy the album until years later.

1989: Again, not to say this isn’t a god album, but my main issue with it was that the songs that I liked the best were the ones that weren’t broadcasted as much or weren’t as popular!! It makes complete sense that Shake It Off was the one that became super popular because structurally it was just the perfect formula for a classic, successful pop song: it was fast, upbeat, a theme about shaking off a “hater” that was generic enough to reach a wide audience, a chorus that was three words and easy to remember. Those are the kinds of songs that do really well on radio stations and in the general public which is why so many people who don’t know Taylor Swift’s music all that well still know that she made that song. It was really smart of her to do that actually, but it was definitely the most typically pop of all her albums. You Are In Love and How You Get The Girl were my two favourites though, absolute gems that make me believe in love <3

Taylor Swift: the songs on this album are good but I’m just not a huge country fan (if you ask me if I like country music I will say yes, absolutely, but it’s not my favourite genre by far) so none of them resonated with me as much and especially seeing where Taylor’s skill is now, this one’s really only at the bottom for me because she’s very new and green and inexperienced in this album and it’s audible.