#this is... very self-indulgent
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* ROMANCE HEADCANONS
NAME: Uzi Doorman NICKNAME: Purple Thing, Toaster, Hot Topic, Emo Freak, Khan's Kid GENDER: Female (She/Her) ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Bisexual
PREFERRED PET NAMES: Uzi doesn't really do nicknames. All the one's she's gotten have been insults, so she'd rather just be called Uzi. She wouldn't mind something based off her name (think Uz' or 'Zi) but anything more sappy than that would probably just embarrass her. She definitely doesn't give pet names to others.
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Dating Serial Designation N (or just N). He just doesn't go here.
FAVORITE CANON/FANDOM SHIP: Why not, all of 'em. Nuzi is canon and super cute and sweet, but I also like Vuzi a lot. I also like NuziV, we love a fun throuple. Juzi is very interesting to me, I don't think it works in the canon of the show but I do like it (shoutout to Hostile Takeover). And in that vein I also like NVJuzi, or whatever it's called. Dollzi and Thadzi are also fun to rotate in my brain for various reasons, but I don't like 'em as much as ships with the disassembly drones. I haven't put a ton of thought into any other ships (there's not many other characters) but I like to mash MD characters together like barbie dolls.
OPINION ON TRUE LOVE: She definitely thinks it's real, because it's something she's wanted, but she isn't quite there yet. She likes N a lot, but they haven't been dating long so she'd be scared to call it love just yet. She's afraid to be that vulnerable with someone, but also yearns for that kind of understanding and closeness. The biggest obstacle to it is herself, as she has a lot of trauma and insecurities to overcome, and she'd be afraid of pushing them away by being too clingy or whatever.
OPINION ON LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Uzi's a teenager, she definitely would catch a crush if someone was charming enough. Calling it love is a bit intense, but it can feel like that when you're young. If you asked her directly, she'd probably be more pessimistic about it, saying you can't trust people to be honest about themselves, so love at first sight is fake.
HOW ‘ROMANTIC’ ARE THEY?: Not very. She's awkward and not experienced in relationships, so she'd prefer to just take things slowly. She's not great at showing affection, and she's also easily embarrassed, so if she tried to be really romantic, even in a private space with someone she trusted, she'd just fluster herself and start yelling. That said, she'd probably have some funny ideas on how to be romantic from all the anime's she's watched.
IDEAL PHYSICAL TRAITS: Someone taller than her. Robots only. Bladed appendages a plus.
IDEAL PERSONALITY TRAITS: Just someone reliable. Uzi wants someone she can trust and who she feels won't leave her when times get tough. That's all N had to do, he was just there for her and assured her he wasn't going to leave, and she fell hard. All she's looking for is someone nice, caring, and honest, someone she feels safe with. And if that person is also funny and sweet and strong, that's a great bonus.
UNATTRACTIVE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Flesh.
UNATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Liars, wishy-washy people, posers. Uzi values honesty and reliability, so if someone won't be there for her, or if she can't trust them, then she won't be into them. She also wouldn't be into anyone who displayed a lot of cruelty, as she's had a history of bullying and generally sadistic villains.
IDEAL DATE: Depends on her mood. Most of the time, she'd be happy staying in and spending time with someone, cuddling and watching some anime or a movie or something. A kind of comfortable intimacy where she could fall asleep in someone's arms. Or, if she needed to get out of the house, she'd enjoy just flying around and exploring for cool junk. She really enjoys showing off her powers, so if she were allowed to stretch her wings or do some cool telekinesis stuff, she'd have a good time. She's also the kind of person to enjoy metaphorical shiny rocks, so she'd like just going treasure hunting and showing off her finds. She wouldn't think of something like going out shopping together or having a small lunch to be a date unless it was spelled out to her. In a similar vein, she might not really enjoy a fancy date and would probably prefer something quieter or more personal. Think a picnic under the stars, rather than dinner at a fancy restaurant.
DO THEY HAVE A TYPE?: Not especially. Does "Anyone who's shown her even a shred of kindness" count? We see her crushing on Thad a bit when the most noteworthy thing he's done was just remembering her name, so that's all it really takes. AVERAGE RELATIONSHIP LENGTH: Let's find out! PREFERRED NON-SEXUAL INTIMACY: I like to think that a lot of drone intimacy stems from physical proximity and touching, things like cuddling, kissing, and hand-holding. Getting really close, enough to feel someone else's core pumping oil or to share body heat, means things are serious. Although drones make babies by adding some of their data into an untrained neural network, I don't think the act of basically just sticking a USB into a port really holds any particular intimacy for them. For disassembly drones and Uzi, they might also do things with their wings and tails, like wrapping their tails around others as a sign of affection. Uzi is pretty touch-starved, so she likes stuff like hand-holding and hugging, even just with her friends. For people she's particularly close or comfortable with, she likes casual snuggling, think stuff like putting her legs across someone on a couch or sitting on the same beanbag chair. For someone she's dating, it would just be a more intimate physical contact, like spooning. She's never kissed anyone before, even her boyfriend, so that's the next big thing in her head. There's probably some small part of her that'd be into biting, but she'd be really embarrassed to admit it. I think I've mentioned cannibalism as a metaphor for romance, so that just kind of follows that thread. Easy to imagine her having a really indulgent daydream about drinking from/giving oil to someone else. COMMITMENT LEVEL: Uzi really likes N, and even though he's not in Spirale, she still considers them together and wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize that. She'd feel guilty if she caught feelings for someone else, but she's yet to seriously contend with the fact that N might just never show up here. Would either of them want her to stay single, possibly denying herself happiness, just because she's hanging onto a hope that might never come? We know Uzi has some self-sacrificing tendencies, but N probably wouldn't be thrilled to learn that she was doing it to herself.
OPINION OF PUBLIC AFFECTION: Gross. Only small stuff allowed. Holding hands, hugging, maybe small kisses. She's easily embarrassed, so her partner being really doting on her in a public space would just get her really flustered, but at the same time she'd probably kinda like it. Perhaps you've noticed she's a bit tsundere? Shocker.
PAST RELATIONSHIPS?: Only ever had one boyfriend, and she's still with him.
#musing.txt#memeday.exe#this is... very self-indulgent#been wanting to do more headcanon/ musing type of stuff so this is mostly just for me to ponder some stuff
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Arcane season 2 ending made me too sad so yk what, everything is fine actually, Viktor is now a teacher at the Academy and he mentors young Zaunite students. That's how I choose to cope.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane viktor#arcane jayce#arcane jinx#arcane ekko#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#jayvik#timebomb#arcane au#digital art#my art#clip studio paint#the amount of time I put into this piece is way too much for me lmao#I'm not used of drawing background that was a pain in the ass#but also I hid a few funny things on the blackboard feel free to look for it#very self indulgent#I'm craving Viktor and Jinx interactions they would have been such a cool duo in another life#Viktor being Jinx's mentor scratches my brain perfectly#I have so much thoughts about this au
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oh what a joy it is to get to grow old
#one piece#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#woke up today with the urge to draw Law older (and happier)#it's very self indulgent but knowing that you survived this long and have still yet so much life ahead of you that is yours to shape#is a beautiful feeling#anyways hi everyone it's been a while since I posted new art here#my art
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Who are these people…
#arcane#arcane fanart#arcane silco#silco#silco fanart#jinx arcane#jinx#jinx fanart#silco and jinx#my art#I’ve been drawing Silco a LOT lately#dunno if I’ll post my other Silco drawings cause they’re very self indulgent#I’ve been obsessed with him for years LOL#this is also my first time drawing Jinx!
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late night sunset thirst trap.
#do you get thea now.#this is what she's dealing with#mlp#sunset shimmer#my art#grand galloping 20s#so *technically* sunset is not transmasc in the au canonically. or at least post-op?#i'd say she's canonically genderqueer but yada yada they wouldn't have gender affirming care like this in the 1920s#i'm just being self indulgent#also sunset in the au is bisexual just like in mlp equestria girls canon#very intentionally making sunset the hottest character in the au cast lol#i've wanted to draw sunset smoking and shirtless ever since reading imamwolf's fanfic
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everyone be quiet i'm manifesting
#the bad batch#tbb#star wars#star wars the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb wrecker#tbb crosshair#tbb echo#tbb tech#tbb hunter#mods art#mods draws#my art#YAYYYYY ITS DONE#i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think#just on and off#whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this#it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭#but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool#very self indulgent but!!! whatever#i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol#okay byeeeeee#ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD#okay bye fr
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𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 – 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮
synopsis. period piece, forbidden love
contents. ooc, angst (eventual comfort), yandere emperor!gojo, lovesick!gojo, servant!reader, obsessive behavior (5k words of gojo pining), lowkey unreliable narrator, time skips
notes. inspired by the apothecary diaries and this post. loosely based off of ancient japan (this is basically its own world). this is the prologue to the series where everything can generally be read as a standalone ! (fic under the cut)
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emperor!gojo who broke a hundred year tradition to take you as his only lover. despite your role as a concubine, everyone in the imperial palace knew he was going to make you his empress.
emperor!gojo who had not meant to fall in love with you, but you have managed to somehow charm him. a man that single handedly brought his own clan to power– weak in your hands. hushed whispers around the imperial palace call you a witch, but they never reach your ears. not as long as he is alive.
emperor!gojo shamelessly showering you with love. he pays no mind that it is highly frowned upon, he will have his hands on you every time you are in the same room.
emperor!gojo who is livid when there is an attempt on your life. his usual ocean eyes turned to blue flames like a wild animal. servants and clan elders alike scurry under his gaze. the assailant is taken care of by his own hands.
emperor!gojo who is forced to satiate the clan elders into submission by taking in another concubine from an influential clan. he insists to you that it is no more than a political formality. who are you to meddle into imperial affairs?
emperor!gojo who can’t help himself and ends up falling for another girl who his clan elders demand he must wed. she is much younger than you, beautiful and is well bred; a perfect match for the emperor.
emperor!gojo whose frequent visits to you come to an end, forcing you to move from his chambers and back to the consorts’ pavilion.
There was a time when you had everything. A place to call home in the Inner Court, a beautiful palace with anything you could have ever dreamed of. Servants, admirers, riches; you had it all. But what was most dear to you was your lover– a man so divine, many thought he was directly blessed by the hand of God. It was too good to be true. A woman of lowly birth like you, paid as homage for the sins of her clan against the new reigning family of Japan, becoming a concubine of the Heavenly Emperor.
You remembered it all too well.
His brilliant mind that once strategized the downfall of the previous imperial family, calculating its next move in a game of Go against you. You can still remember the shock on his face upon his first defeat. The way he would keep you from leaving to fulfill your other duties until he was satisfied, eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to keep up with you. No matter how hard he tried, you remained victorious. It drove him mad.
You remembered the stolen kisses while you made your rounds in the Inner Palace with your ladies in waiting. It took you quite a while to learn to tune out their giggles every time the Emperor dips you down to taste your lips in broad daylight. The grin that he wore after was enough to leave your legs weak.
Above all, you'll always remember how safe you felt in his strong, reassuring embrace. You’ve seen him train, and it was no wonder the Gojo clan rose to power so quickly as a result of one man. The way he wields the katana is unlike any man on the face of the earth. Those arms were your sanctuary. You can still vividly recall the attempt on your life, orchestrated by a traditionalist incensed by the Gojo clan's swift ascent to power. The emperor, outraged by the assassination plot, personally saw to the man's execution.
However, the damage was done and it caused great strain in the Imperial Palace.
To appease the old geezers that were forced out of power, Emperor Gojo had taken in another concubine from one of the Big Three families of Japan— a beautiful Zenin girl. Her flowing, silky hair and saccharine voice enchanted everyone in the Inner Palace, captivating the Emperor, most of all. She was younger than you, with perkier breasts and soft skin that was enough to capture the attention of any man.
You don’t blame her for taking the Emperor’s attention away. Though you would be a liar if you said it did not hurt you. Deep down, you cannot deny the agony that sears your soul, realizing that the only semblance of love you've ever tasted remains unrequited. With a heavy heart, you resign yourself to the bitter truth of your existence, knowing all too well the cruel confines of your place in this world.
You were merely a pawn, and the Emperor did not want you anymore.
That was made clear months later when you received a scroll from the Emperor’s advisor, a man you were once well acquainted with, Geto Suguru.
“What is this?” You asked him quietly, your heart silently begging the Heavens it was not what you had suspected it to be. The black haired man in front of you does not respond, and you feel something pierce into your heart. Despite being a part of the Emperor’s court, it was rare that you received letters directly.
Your suspicions were confirmed when your shaky hands finally opened the scroll to read the familiar kanji written by your beloved.
“The Emperor decrees the termination of your role as concubine." Geto spares you the trouble of deciphering the characters neatly written in ink. “In his mercy, you are to be moved as a servant in the Outer Court. You are to serve the Imperial Physician.”
What you remember most was the silence. The Emperor’s silence after the stressful months you had to endure alone. The silence shared between you and Geto when you were forced out of the Imperial Court. All that was left was the sound of your heart breaking and the wood creaking underneath Geto’s feet as he walked away. Satoru never bothered to see you off.
Seasons change and by the next spring, you’re busying your hands with collecting herbs for the Imperial Physician, a man by the name of Yaga Masamichi. He is a kind man, pitying you enough to fill your days with laborious tasks to prevent your mind from wandering to thoughts of the unfortunate turn your life has taken. He is even generous enough to supply you with a new wardrobe of clothing full of light fabrics, a luxury you thought you would lose in the Outer Palace. Though the initial humiliation has worn off with the passing of time, you are still constantly reminded of your fall from grace.
Looks by the mix of condolences and disgust are shared when you roam the walls of the Outer Palace. You hear whispers of how the Emperor is infatuated with his newer, shinier toy. It is enough for you to swallow the bile that makes its way up your throat.
“It is no wonder the Emperor tossed away a wildflower like her in exchange for a cherry blossom. He needed someone to rival his own greatness.” A particular comment stopped you in your tracks. Your grip tightens on the woven basket in your hand filled with medicinal herbs you had collected earlier that morning.
“Have some pity on her.” Another eunuch whispers. Your breath falters, but you continue your walk with your head held up. You’ve heard the rumors. The beautiful Zenin Himiko has charmed the Emperor enough that there are rumors of a royal marriage to come. It doesn’t help that the Emperor has remained monogamous to her since he had banished you from his court.
A comforting hand links itself with your arm, “Ignore them. I saw Yaga shooing away a crowd of suitors that were lined up for your hand.” Ieiri Shoko scoffs, secretly sending you a wink. She has been studying medicine under Yaga for nearly a decade, eagerly accepting you as a companion upon your arrival. You feel your cheeks heat up at her flattery. You know she’s just trying to make you feel better.
Although your beauty never faded, it seems as though you are no longer sought after in the marriage market. Not that it matters, considering the new life that you’re living. You’re now a personal servant to the Imperial Physician, leaving no time to worry about suitors and such. Your days are filled with good work— tending to Yaga’s cherished garden that he has sowed for decades rather than frivolous games and attending the Emperor. It may not be glorious compared to your former life, but it was the best a woman of your status could receive.
When you and Shoko return to Yaga’s estate, you’re surprised to see the somber look that has settled on his aging features. Shoko makes an offhand comment that he will age faster if he keeps scowling. She receives a scolding.
“Is something the matter?” You gently place down your basket full of herbs.
Yaga sighs, calloused hands rolling up a scroll with the Imperial Seal. “It appears the Emperor’s consort has fallen ill and His Majesty commands my presence in the Imperial Palace.”
The Royal Consort. The woman that dethroned you: Zenin Himiko.
“I understand.” You nod, maintaining your composure while two sets of eyes scrutinize you with keen observation. It was only natural the emperor wanted the best doctor in the country for his object of affection. “Shall I close up the shop while you journey into the Inner Palace?”
Yaga shakes his head, “That won’t be necessary. I will have Shoko act as my stand-in.” He remarks with a quick glance in her direction “You, on the other hand, will accompany me.”
Your eyes widen.
“You cannot be serious.”
“Typically, one of my apprentices would accompany me on such journeys. However, now that I have acquired a personal attendant,” He gestures towards you with a flick of his hand, “It shall no longer be necessary.” As he speaks, he runs his hand absentmindedly through his well trimmed beard, gaging your reaction.
"I—" Your words falter and fade away. "Yes, sir," you respond, inclining your head in deference, a stark reminder of your place. While you may have concealed it, you were seething with humiliation. Returning to the Imperial Palace after a year of exile to serve the woman who took your spot was mortifying beyond measure.
“Very well. Pack enough for one week’s time. I doubt the Emperor would have called me if this was a light ailment.” He says gruffly. “We leave at dawn.” His gaze shifted to the horizon outside.
1 YEAR AGO
“Your Grace,” You purr at the feeling of his large hands scratching your head.
The smile that rests on his face is almost ravenous. “Yes, my love?”
“I think—“ A soft sigh escapes your lips when he presses on your weak points. “I should g-go.”
His ministrations stop almost immediately.
“Go?” His eyes peer down at you in his lap. It is now that you realize the weight of his piercing gaze. “Have I commanded you to leave yet?”
“No, but—”
“Then you have nowhere else to be.” He huffs, unintentionally puffing his cheeks out. You stifle the giggle that nearly escapes from your lips. He vaguely resembles a pufferfish– or so you think. Though you’ve never seen the round creature with your very own eyes, you’ve heard that the delicacy was something only members of the aristocratic class would feast on.
Your mouth waters at the thought.
“What are you thinking about that could possibly be so important? Keep your eyes on me,” A strong hand squishes your cheeks together and firmly guides your face back upon him.
You should be embarrassed; ashamed at the intimate position His Majesty has trapped you in. The way your head is tucked away in his lap as he peers down at you, nothing to shield you away from him. It was incredibly scandalous, considering that you were an unmarried woman! But it seemed like the Emperor had taken no mind towards it. You would even dare to say that he was enjoying it, with the way his lips quirk upward at the sight of you squirming.
“Your Grace,” You repeat, determined to free yourself from his hold. His eyebrows furrow.
“Satoru,” He reminds you. You purse your lips. The position you hold in his court is simply not high enough to grant you the privilege of calling him by his given name.
“Your Grace,” You try again, the title rolling off of your tongue naturally. A man like him did not deserve any title less than.
“You’re breaking my heart, sweetheart. Indulge a man, won’t you?” He pouts down at you. As stubborn as ever, you don’t relent.
“I would be overstepping my boundaries as your consort to call you as such. That privilege is reserved for your future bride.” You take advantage of his guard let down to sit up and escape his hold. If he could have caught you, he made no effort.
“I am a simple man.” He follows you to your vanity. A giggle escapes your mouth. He is anything but. “I want my love to call me by my name.”
You turn around to cup his cheek. He eagerly leans into your touch, sighing happily at the contact.
“I wonder how Lord Kento and Geto would react to you like this.” You tease, a smile unknowingly painting itself on your lips.
Satoru’s face falls, features morphing into an appalled expression. You watch him close the distance between you through the mirror.
“Kento?” His voice had a dangerous lilt in it. You blink, unsure what spurred on the sudden tension in the room. “Since when were you so comfortable around him? He cannot satisfy you like I can.” He reminds you of the man’s castrated state as an eunuch. You wince.
“I have not gotten comfortable,” You’re careful to pick your words. Gojo’s possessiveness was something that was not easily tamed. “He simply provides good conversation while you are away.The palace is far too big and lonely while you’re away dealing with clan matters.”
The only response you get is a quiet grumble. “You’re lucky that you’re pretty.” His large hand creeps its way into your hair again, undoing the hairstyle your ladies in waiting had spent a copious amount of time on earlier that morning. Gojo carefully plucks the extravagant silver hairpin from your hair, the dangling pearls clicking softly at the sudden movement. His hands slowly make their way down to the kimono that you are wearing, hands ready to undo the obi.
Your hands softly hover his, “I fear that our roles have been reversed. Should it not be me who gets you unready, Your Grace?”
He chuckles and through the mirror you can see a smirk make his way to his lips, “I’d let you undress me any day. Just say the word, beloved.”
You roll your eyes, but allow him to continue. It was moments like these with the Emperor that led you on to believe that there was a semblance of love between the two of you.
How wrong you were.
PRESENT DAY
The sun has yet to meet the horizon when you arrive at the Inner Palace. The horse-drawn carriage that you and Yaga had taken is the only sound at the scene, clopping down the stone road and back to the Inner Court. You miss the serenity of the beautiful palace you once resided in, knowing that it will be bustling with life in just a few short hours.
In front of the large doors of the primary ceremonial hall where the Emperor spends most of his time, stands Lord Nanami, a counsellor to the Emperor himself. Time has only made his face sterner, but his neatly styled hair and blue and yellow dyed court attire remained the same. He waits patiently while you and Yaga make your way up the flight up stairs that lead up to the hall.
“I am glad to see you in good health, Yaga.” Nanami bows.
The man next to you promptly waves his politeness off, thanking him for his hospitality. You stand silently while the two men engage in conversation regally.
Lord Nanami sighs, “His Majesty has been plagued by stress lately. To say I am relieved by your presence would be an understatement.” His statement is a subtle reminder that you must harden your heart upon entering the palace walls. The meticulously built walls were no longer a sanctuary for you, rather, a painful testament that you were no longer wanted.
Yaga lets out a hearty laugh and it reveals a rare sight, Lord Nanami’s lips curving upwards by a slight. “I highly doubt the boy would be glad to see me. The appearance of the Imperial Physician is portentous.” He scratches his beard. You tilt your head in confusion at how he referred to the Emperor.
“I suppose, yet I am intrigued to find out how he will react upon seeing his object of affection flourishing anew despite the sting of frost.” Nanami audibly wonders. Even a fool could understand his eloquent comparison. The Emperor would be thrilled to see his consort in full bloom once again. You pray that the Heavens would grant you some mercy from witnessing such a scene.
“Youth,” Yaga shakes his head, chuckling to himself before regaining composure. “I mustn't keep the Emperor waiting. [Name], please gather the herbal ingredients to treat the young Consort as you seem fit. I shall confer with His Majesty and meet you in her chambers to declare a proper diagnosis.”
You bow, “Yes sir.”
While Yaga prepares to enter the doors where The Heavenly Emperor resides, your eyes couldn’t help but gaze longingly at the large bronze doors.
“You seem well,” Nanami addresses you for the first time in over a year. Your eyes trail from the Emperor’s door to the blonde man in front of you. “Allow me to guide you to our herbal stock.” Nanami offers you his arm as you start to make your way down the stairs.
You take it, lightly holding his arm. “Thank you, Lord Nanami. Time away from the Inner Palace has been like a breath of fresh air,” You respond, ensuring your voice carries no malice. You hear the large palace doors from behind you open, the metal creaking loudly in the quiet dawn.
“I must ask you to call me Kento,” He leads you down the stone steps. “We are old friends, it is strange to hear anything but.”
You focus on your steps down the stairs, only responding once your feet meet the solid ground, “I fear that our social statuses have changed since then. It would be the cause of a scandal should anyone hear I am calling the Imperial Counselor by his given name. Your admirers would have my head on a stick.”
“Your imagination is amusing as always, [Name].” He gives you a closed eyes smile. You huff.
“I am only speaking the truth!” You insist. He chuckles.
“It is quite refreshing to see both you and Yaga again. I’m not sure how long it has been since I have been at the imperial physician.”
You gape at his confession. “You mustn't skip your annual visits to the physician, Kento. It is in the best interest of your health!” You lightly scold him, lifting your hand to flick his forehead. It was a force of habit. “Perhaps if I have time after treating the Consort, I shall do a check up on you.”
Nanami clears his throat at your comment, the twinkle in his eyes dissipating as if your direct touch had burned him.
“I would rather not lose my head.” He mumbles, eyes scanning the courtyard around the two of you. You knit your eyebrows, confused.
Nanami leaves you to fulfill his duties once you arrive at the Royal Kitchens to retrieve all the necessary items to treat Consort Himiko. You are glad that he did not accompany you into the kitchens to prepare Consort Himiko’s herbal soup.
The memory of it still irks you.
“You’re late,” One of Consort Himiko’s ladies in waiting snaps just as you enter the kitchen. You look up to see a young girl, dressed in a light purple kimono. It must be Himiko’s signature, you note. It was strange to see someone outside of the Imperial family donning the color, but you suppose it was only a grand display of Himiko’s influence.
“You’re a lot more plain than I anticipated,” The other lady in waiting quirks an eyebrow, eyeing your appearance. You furrow your eyebrows, shocked by their rudeness.Their undying loyalty to their Lady was enough to fuel an unspoken hatred for you. Though you’re not sure that the two coincide, you don’t blame them.
The two are mixing a concoction that you don’t recognize to be used to treat the sick. The taller one adds some aromatics and herbs in and you see the other one unwrap a cloth to reveal a rare delicacy from the West. Cocoa, you believed they called it.
Then it hits you– the two are not making a medicinal soup for their Lady, rather they are making an aphrodisiac! The image that conjures in your head makes you blanch. Back in the Outer Palace, Shoko had shown you the effects of the stimulant (you shiver at the memory of her shoving a treat laced with it into your mouth). It was certainly a night to remember.
“How pathetic,” You mutter underneath your breath, quickly rushing to obtain the ingredients you needed without making conversation with the two girls.
Fortunately, they pay you no further attention for the time you’re in the kitchen.
“Please excuse me,” You bow upon entering the Emperor’s chambers. Despite the Consort’s Pavilion being similar in size to a small town, you remember spending most of your time in the Emperor’s chambers rather than your own. It was probably the same case with Consort Himiko. You slowly place the tray carrying broth and medicinal herbs to treat the Consort down on the circular wooden table in the middle of the room.
Out of curiosity, your eyes can’t help but soak in the Emperor’s room. Not much has changed since you’ve left. His Majesty’s preference for minimalist decorations have stayed the same, along with his natural musk that fills your nose. You feel your face heat up at your own thoughts. How could you think of such a thing when you are about to meet his new lover?
Your gaze moves to his bed, where Consort Himiko resides– only to find nothing.
“Huh?”
You observe his bed, silk sheets neatly made, seemingly untouched. The sounds of your sock clad feet patter on the wooden floor as you make your way to feel the bedsheets for any signs of warmth, but you are met with nothing.
“Don’t you know that entering the Emperor’s chambers can be punishable by death?” A deep voice from behind you causes you to jump in your spot.
Your guard is immediately raised, head whipping to the sound. In hindsight, you should have never agreed to accompany Yaga on his trip. It was a foolish idea all along, you think as all of the air in your lungs dissipates upon seeing your former lover.
Standing at the entrance of his own sleeping quarters is Gojo Satoru, his frame big enough to tower over the doorway. His arms are crossed over each other, electric blue eyes focused on nothing else but you. You press your thighs together tightly to avoid squirming anymore than you are. He has loosened his dark blue kimono to expose some of his hardened chest, a sight any woman in the nation would die to catch a glimpse. Even underneath all of the fabric, anyone can see his divinely sculpted physique.
“Your Grace,” You waste no time to dip your body deeply, praying that he will allow you to keep your head by sunset. “I apologize for the intrusion, I was under the pretense that Consort Himiko resided in your quarters–” Your voice loses itself in your throat when you see his shadow quickly encroaching.
“Himiko stays in her Pavilion,” He towers over you, eyes gazing down on you. “But one might suspect that you already knew that.”
Your eyes frantically meet his feet, desperate to salvage what was left of your dignity, “I assure you that I speak of the truth, Your Majesty.”
When he doesn’t respond, you slowly lift your head.
The flustered look on your face must have been amusing to him, as he makes his way closer to you, bending down to interrogate you further.
“Is that so?” He hums, enjoying every second of cornering you into his chambers. The back of your legs have met his bed, trapping you. You inhale sharply, trying to keep your breaths even, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect he had on you.
He continues, “You’re awfully skittish for someone who was happily skipping around my territory in the arms of another man just earlier.” His predatory gaze seems to darken.
“Kento?” When his name leaves your lips, the man in front of you grits his teeth. You turn your head to the side, deliberately avoiding him. “With all due respect, Your Majesty, but I don’t see how Kento and I’s relationship is any of your concern,” He does not take your actions well, his gaze searing into you.
“It certainly is when the woman in question is you,” Gojo’s voice loses its feral lilt, distress flashing across his face. There’s a newfound desperation in it that chips away at your resolve. His hand raises to your face so slowly, as if he did not want to startle you.
“This is wrong. I– I saw a couple of servants earlier making aphrodisiacs, perhaps you could have unknowingly consumed them.” You tell him, frantic eyes meeting him. It is not unusual for couples to use aphrodisiacs, you know that after under Yaga. The Emperor must have mistaken the laced dessert for his usual.
He shakes his head, running a hand through his white hair.
“You are mistaken. This is solely your effect on me.” He promises. You could barely believe his words, stuck between feeling offended or shocked.
“How could you stand to be so cruel?” Your voice is barely above a whisper. There are no tears in your eyes this time. “I am not a courtesan you can buy for the night,” You snap, pointing a harsh finger to his chest.
“What do you mean?” He sounds breathless.
“Whatever do I mean?” You scoff, a dry laugh escaping your mouth. “For a year, all I have gotten is pity from the world, because you decided I was no longer entertaining. You could have at least banished me away yourself. Instead, you sent Suguru who couldn’t even look me in the eye! Don’t you know how humiliating that is?” With every word that left your lips, more venom seemed to drip. Anger was prickling you all over, taking control of the rational part of you.
Gojo seemed to be taken aback by your outburst. It was far too late to take anything back now. If you lose your head by nightfall, so be it.
You dig a deeper grave for yourself when you take advantage of his moment of weakness to flee. He’s quick to react, attempting to grip your wrist.
“Wait, [Name], beloved–” He uses that all too familiar term of endearment, but it doesn't deter you.
You accidentally bump into the circular wooden table placed in the middle of the room. What an awful place to keep it, watching in horror as the Consort’s medicine shatters on the floor. To add salt to the wound, a vase you recognize to be specially gifted to the Emperor from a foreign nation tips off too before you can catch it. The sound of porcelain shattering fills the room.
“[Name]! Are you alright?” You hear Gojo ask from behind you, but you run over the broken shards before he can catch you.
Had you bothered to pay closer attention, you would have noticed articles of your clothing and a couple of your missing belongings littered all over the room– creating a faux impression that you never really left the palace.
Days passed by after the incident, and luckily, your head was still attached to your body despite offending and nearly endangering the Emperor. Yaga’s disappointment when you had told him what happened was made evident when he sent you home early after hearing the events that transpired, insisting that he can handle the Consort on his own. Normally you would have argued, but you knew better than to inflict Yaga’s wrath.
“Now you’ve really done it,” Shoko whistles lowly, walking in from the front of Yaga’s shop.
You hide your face in your hands, “I made an absolute fool of myself, didn’t I?”
“A fool? No. A conspirator against the Emperor? Perhaps.” She dangles a scroll with a familiar seal on it. The Gojo Clan’s familiar emblem reflects off of the sunlight spilling into the room. Your heart drops.
“Oh, they’ll have my head.” You moan, hands instinctively lifting to shield your neck.
“Though I’m quite impressed that Yaga only sent you back here. He used to have worse punishments.” She shudders before impatiently unraveling the scroll. You watch her eyes gradually widen as they read the contents of the letter. The scroll falls from her hand.
You rush to it, desperate to read your fate.
To [Last Name] [First Name],
Greetings and prosperity unto you.
By the mandate of the heavens and the authority vested in Us, We hereby extend Our solemn words to you, [Last Name] [First Name], servant of the realm, in acknowledgement of your debt to the Empire.
In response to your unmeritorious deeds, The Emperor bestows upon you His imperial pardon from capital punishment. In consideration of your obligations and the harmony of the realm, it is hereby decreed that you shall serve as an indentured servant to the Imperial Household for a period commensurate with your debt. During this time, you shall labor faithfully and diligently under the supervision of Our Heavenly Emperor, performing duties essential to the welfare of the Empire.
By fulfilling your obligations with diligence and humility, you may yet earn favor and esteem in Our sight.
The Imperial Court
A loud gasp escapes your mouth.
You feel your legs weaken, your emotions running wild. Shoko’s eyes meet yours, mirroring your frantic gaze. In that moment, you are met with the same suffocating sense of hopelessness.
extra!
gojo was kicking his feet happily as he watched suguru draft out his letter to you. suguru thought it rather cruel, while the white haired male was too busy purring happily as he fantasized about having you back into his grasp.
#very ohshc esque with the way she is now indebted to him TT#ahh this entire series is so self indulgent im sorry#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojou x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojou satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk x reader#yandere!gojo satoru#royal!au#jjk angst#gojo angst#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you
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this is the type of romance novel shadowheart would read in her spare time (and the type of daydreams she'd have of lae'zel asldkf!!)
a;lsdkfj and the sketch/lines as a lil bonus
#ichiro's doodles#bg3#lae'zel#shadowheart#shadowzel#shadowheart can't swim!!#but also mer'zel is just very pretty 😮💨#but heheehehe this was the most self indulgent thing i've drawn of them fr#i suppose i could tag for#slight nudity#but like 👀 you barely see the shadowboob a;sldkfjasd but ya never kno out here 😅#siren au
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dead boy cares
if anyone would like a risograph print of this- i now have a shop !!
#hikaru ga shinda natsu#the summer hikaru died#my art#fanart#hikaru indou#yoshiki tsujinaka#this manga may never leave me i fear#done for a huevember fanzine but very self-indulgent#desc. refers to i love you golden blue by sonic youth#likely more hikaru fanart to come....#cw: gore#just in case
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thinking about something that happened to me while babysitting and I am unable to cope with it so obviously I have to make it something for yall
thinking about babysitter!reader being hired by price, you just go to check on the little one in their nursery. the baby is sleeping peacefully, you close the door - but the handle fucking breaks off. naturally you start to panic, the baby is in there all alone and you can't get in, so you call price in literal tears. telling him what happened, desperately scrambling around to look at the baby monitor. He tells you to take a breath, trying to get you to calm down, that its okay, he'll come home.
you're sat on the couch, crying in a panic while watching the blisfully unaware baby over the monitor until Price gets home. he comes in, making a beeline to the small utility room, then to the nursery. its an easy and quick fix, you definitely could have done it yourself you think as you watch over his shoulder. he opens the door quickly and sees the sleeping baby before closing the door with a chuckle and turning to you. you're still sniffling, babbling soft apologies, telling him youll understand if he doesn't pay or ever hires you again - but he shakes his head and leads you to the couch with him, sitting you down.
"sit, love. take a breath." he murmurs, vanishing to the kitchen, from where he comes back a minute later with a cup of tea that he hands you. sits down next to you, then gently pulls you into his side. "C'mere now. its alright bird, don't cry now."
#he ends up staying home and comforting you#this is very self indulgent sorry about that#but a girls gotta cope#gothghostiie#john price#John price x reader#price x reader#price#captain john price#captain price#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#babysitter!reader
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cw. none except satoru being disgustingly cute (part 2)
satoru isn’t used to people calling him anything other than his surname. gojo-san to most, gojo-sensei to others. it’s simple, and gets the job done.
only a handful of people stick to calling him by his given name. to them, he’s satoru. it’s easy, and rolls of the tongue, and he greatly prefers it over the sound of his surname. it makes him feel like an actual person.
satoru never entertained the possibility of being called anything else other than those two names. he didn’t think it would ever happen.
for once, he was glad to be proven wrong.
“tough day, pretty?” you ask gently, and he sighs with a nod as he throws himself into your opened arms. his body moulds easily into yours, and he lets out a heavy groan as he settles onto the couch with you. the groan is loud, and over-exaggerated.
it’s so satoru.
you have to stifle a giggle.
“everything went horribly wrong,” he grumbles, his voice muffled against the fabric of your shirt. “the higher ups were up my ass again, my students laughed at me again, and when i finally made it to that bakery you liked they were out of your favourite pastries so i couldn’t get them for you—again!”
“oh, my poor baby,” you coo, and gently push his bangs out of his face. he nods in agreement, faking an immense amount of sympathy for himself. “‘s okay, at least you tried, hm? i think that’s very sweet.”
satoru hums, as if he’s deeply thinking about your words. “’m still your baby?” he mumbles, deciding that’s the most important thing right now. his eyes briefly flutter shut, consumed by utter bliss as you play with the hairs on his undercut.
“mhm, still my baby.”
“yeah? what else am i?”
this time you do giggle. he does this sometimes. you aren’t exactly sure why—but on tough days, satoru likes to crawl into your arms and listen to you call him every cheesy nickname under the sun. it’s easily providable and makes him so very happy, so you always indulge him.
“my honey bun.”
“and?”
“my boo bear.”
“mhm.”
“my sweetheart.”
“yes?”
you laugh softly. “my mochi,” you coo, and pinch his cheek. it’s a little squished because he’s laying on your chest, but it emphasises your point.
he grins under your touch. it’s adorable.
“keep them coming, please?” he asks, and you do. you always do, unable to refuse him. especially when he asks so sweetly.
“my sugar cookie.”
“my muffin.”
“my baby cakes.”
“my angel.”
“my love.”
“my husband.”
“h—huh?” satoru stammers, looking up from your chest. he lays his chin on your sternum, baby blue eyes blinking up at you. they’re filled with awe, surprise, and utter glee. “that’s, i’m not. . .”
“just testing the title, baby,” you tell him, and continue playing with his hair. he bathes in your touch and you smile softly as he grabs and kisses the palm of your hand. “what do you think, hm?”
“i think you should call me it again.”
“oh?”
“mhm,” he mumbles.
“my dearest husband.”
“again.”
“my handsome husband.”
“again.”
“my sweet husband.”
“again, please?”
you hum, impressed. “my well-mannered husband.”
satoru chuckles, and lays back down on your chest. his white hair tickles against your skin, and he sighs in content.
“i think i want to be your husband for real.”
“yeah?”
“yeah,” he mumbles and nuzzles further into your hold. “y’ve got the same ring size still, right?”
“i sure do,” you say, a content smile on your lips as you watch him slowly doze off to sleep.
“hm, good to know.”
for satoru, those nicknames make him feel as if he’s something even greater than a person—it makes him feel yours.
he’s not just gojo, the strongest. he’s not just satoru, the at-times somewhat immature adult with the sweet tooth of a child.
he’s yours. your baby. your honey bun. your boo bear. your mochi. your boyfriend. your love. and for satoru, there’s no greater thing in the world than that.
#ꕤ — sanatomis darling: gojo satoru#usually i list the nicknames i have from him of the top of my head but i’ll admit it guys#i opened my notes app for this one#i call him so many nicknames i know mimi is sick of us#very self-indulgent once again my apologies (or not)#HES JUST SO#adorable#he’s everything and he deserves every nickname#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo x reader fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#sneaking it in again guys sorry#⍣ ❥ ೋ 𝑠𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑚𝑖.
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[Aziraphale voice] i'm soft!
#my art#good omens#gomens#aziraphale#crowley#anthony j crowley#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#minidrawz#this is very self indulgent uewifjgh#zira is like a magnet to crowley bro did not even wake up he just went straight to the source of infinite warmth
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I'm really hoping that after book 7 they release all the overblots as cards. Also if this is the year of Riddle I think they might release the equestrian club finally and I can see him in the new years event since cater and Trey have done It. Which club r u most excited for? I can't wait to see them all.
at this point I, too, cannot wait for my sweet HORSE BOOOOOOOYS
...although I'm also VERY curious as to how 1) they're going to wrangle a super special club uniform out of the board game club, and 2) how they're going to force Idia into wearing it. will there be dice pockets? I hope there are dice pockets.
#art#twisted wonderland#i don't THINK this is spoilers but lemme know if it needs tagging#we really don't have many clubs left at this point! i think it's just equestrian + film + board games?#and honestly i am excited for all of them. i love ~acteur~ vil and i very much want to see baby ~acteur~ ortho#there was that one throwaway bit in 7-11 though that made me really really want the horse boys#i am susceptible to any and all diasomnia content but ESPECIALLY silver and sebek being huge goobers#sebek astride a majestic magenta pony: we're gonna win the heck out of this dressage competition tempest shadow#(<- this is officially my Horse Boy™ sebek tag now)#(that's too overly self-indulgent and unfunny? ah you must be new to egophiliac dot tumblr dot com)
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Hello Realm! A brief showcase of different oc regions
Song: 안녕 아희 (feat.UNI)
#digital art#art#oc#oc art#video#very self indulgent mini project#breaking: local failgirl forced to socialize and travel the world
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(Poly 141 x fem reader)
You had always been their sweetheart.
Soft, tender, and gentle- the heart of their home. The warmth in the spaces between them, the one they curled around after long days of violence, soothed by your touch and your voice, the way you cared for them without hesitation. No matter how much blood stained their hands, no matter what nightmares haunted their sleep, you were there. Unshaken. Unyielding in your love, hands gentle and soft as you cradled them close and warm.
So they had never needed to know about the things you kept buried.
The past you refused to unearth. The things you could do, the person you had been before them- before you had a home to call your own, before you had people who held you just as carefully as you held them.
They didn’t need to know, and you didn’t need to think about it.
Until they went missing.
You first learned something was wrong when John’s daily check-in didn’t come.
It had always been a habit of his, something he did without fail, no matter how far away he was. Just to let you know I’m breathing, love. That was what he had said, years ago, the first time he had explained it to you. You had teased him for it- What, you don’t trust me to not burn the house down?- but he had only smiled, voice steady and sure when he told you, I like knowing you’re safe.
It had never failed. Not once. Even when he himself could not text you, Lasswell herself assured you they were fine and merely had to be careful.
But now came the silence.
No messages. No calls. No updates.
You tried not to panic. They were on a mission, after all. Maybe something had gone wrong with their comms, or maybe they had been forced to go dark, and Lasswell was busy. It had happened before, and they had always come back to you, whole and alive, pressing their faces into your neck, murmuring apologies and reassurances.
But then a full week passed.
Then two.
And no one would tell you a thing and Lasswell wasn’t picking up, either.
You had tried- had called, had knocked on doors, had pushed until you were met with polite deflections and stone-cold refusals.
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but that information is classified.”
“There’s nothing we can share at this time.”
“We appreciate your patience.”
Patience.
As if you would sit here, helpless, and just wait. Hopeless, and helpless, and unable to do a single thing to help then.
No. No, you had done that before. You had waited before. And it had cost you everything.
You weren’t that girl anymore. You weren’t a victim of circumstance, hoping for scraps of kindness, praying for someone to do right by you.
If no one would help, you would do it yourself; because they were yours, and they were the best thing that have ever happened to you, and you weren’t going to lose them.
Tracking them down was easier than you expected.
You had spent years curating the image of someone soft and harmless, someone not worth keeping secrets from. And people loved to talk. Especially when they thought you were just a grieving, desperate woman trying to find a lost fiancé and his friends.
All it had taken was a few well-placed words, a few tearful looks, and doors had opened.
It had taken only days to pinpoint their last known location, then. After you’d hunted down Laswell, and had her help you. Though you were glad to see that she was working to find out where they were, as well, and merely lacked the manpower because of some general named Shepherd.
You filed the name away for later thoughts.
A warlord with connections to arms smuggling in Eastern Europe. An old base, abandoned by one regime and taken over by another. And your men had been sent in to dismantle it.
But they hadn’t come back. MIA, the reports said.
You didn’t think. You didn’t hesitate. You didn’t care for those three letters. You moved.
You gathered supplies, mapped out your route, planned your approach with the precision of someone who had done it before. You emptied old caches, dusted off weapons you hadn’t touched in years, and set off.
The infiltration was clean; a single shadow among many, slipping between patrols, cutting down obstacles with silent, brutal efficiency. Years it may have been, you hadn’t gotten as rusty as you’d feared you’d be.
You had never been squeamish. You had learned long ago that softness had no place in survival- but it could thrive and bloom in the aftermath, a stubborn weed that eventually makes way for a full bouquet.
But this was different.
This was fury burning in your blood as you carved a path forward, every movement precise- you couldn’t afford any less.
You didn’t stop, no matter what.
Not until you found them at last, and your heart ached something fierce abd sharp in your chest.
Caged. Beaten. Bound but not broken- and drugged.
I should have been more rough, you mourn for a split second. An easy death was more mercy than what was deserved.
John’s head lifted first, eyes glassy and unfocused. “Love-?”
Then Simon, bloodied but breathing, his body sluggish with whatever chemicals they had pumped into him. Every part of him was covered in blood and cuts.
Johnny’s voice, then, hoarse and raw, full of disbelief and worry. “No. No, you’re not- this insnae real-“
And Kyle, whose breath hitched as you knelt beside him, gentle fingers brushing against his bruised face.
They thought they were dreaming; they thought you weren’t real.
And maybe that was a… mercy.
Because if they had been clear-headed, if they had seen what you had done to get here, if they had watched the way you had cut down anyone in your path with merciless efficiency-
They would have looked at you differently.
And you couldn’t bear that. To have their illusion of your gentleness shattered like that…
So you played along.
Whispered reassurances, pressed kisses to sweat-damp foreheads, untied their bindings with careful hands. You coaxed them to move, guided them through the corridors you’d emptied, wiped away the blood that dripped from their skinz
And when they sagged against you, too dazed to fight, too lost in the haze of their drugged delirium, you held them-
Kept them safe, and brought them home.
Later, they woke in a hospital, clean and stitched and safe.
You were already there, fussing over them, your voice soft and sweet, your fingers gentle as you pressed cool cloths to fever-warm skin, brushed stray curls from foreheads, adjusted pillows and blankets with quiet determination. Dressed in something white and pink, the colors of innocence, nails cleaned of blood even if your hands will never be truly clean.
You looked the same as ever.
Pretty and delicate, their lovely girl, their tender-hearted sweetheart.
And for all that had happened, all that they had suffered, all that you had done-
They never suspected a single thing, and you didn’t tell them; didn’t tell them that there had been no extraction team. That there had been no grand military rescue- not even from the the same military that had abandoned them.
(His name was General Shepherd. You will not forget it- you’d need to carve his name on the bullet you’ll save just for him, after all.)
That it had been you.
Only you.
Only Laswell knew the truth, and she would keep your secret because she understood what it meant to protect the people you loved.
And if you had to carry this weight alone to keep them from ever looking at you like you were something other-
So be it.
You sat beside John, pressing a kiss to his temple as his fingers curled weakly around yours.
You smiled at Simon when his hand brushed against your knee, seeking reassurance, seeking you, his eyes tired.
You let Johnny hold you, his arms tight around your waist as he mumbled something unintelligible against your shoulder, still half-lost in the remnants of the drugs.
And when Kyle murmured: “At leas’ you’re safe, pretty.” His voice thick with sleep-
You just smiled and ran your fingers carefully through his hair, and held them the way you always had.
And pretended that everything was exactly the same.
(Part Two)
#noona.writes#noona.posts#tags coming later bc this is very corny and self indulgent i need to gathet coursge for it#cod x reader#cod x you#cod#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf 141#cod imagines#john price x reader#poly!141 x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#soap x reader#ghost x you#gaz x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#poly 141 x reader#poly 141#kyle gaz garrick x you#poly!141#soap x you#kyle gaz garrick x reader
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I know nooroo can’t fly around or whatever this is just for funsies








#this is very silly and self indulgent#I’m not going to explain#mlb#miraculous fanart#miraculous lb#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#adrien agreste#ml nooroo#plagg#ml plagg
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