#this is. my exact feelings about you i. augh

[starfallenx]

This made me fucking cry thank you

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[trainingdummyrabbit]

UWUAUHGH OK GOT EVERYTHING ON TIME i got distracted quotediving again and thhbghdbgjb bgdjhbf afgdhgvf orz

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..

[mars-ipan]

genuinely i don’t know how someone could meet a kid and decide children are horrid monsters actually. kids are so good

[rxzennia]

oral sex

✎𓂃 in the case of aventurine giving | m! reader

it’s taking everything in you to stay still. aventurine has you spread out in bed, his mouth around your dick and his hands on your thighs. your back is arched into the mattress and you’re trying your best to not whimper, but there really isn’t much you can do when he’s got your hips held down firmly.

“w-wait, babe, wait,” you hiss, shuddering and twitching so beautifully under him, “not there, it feels weird…”

“weird?” aventurine repeats slowly, lifting his head and staring up at you with hazy eyes. “how weird?”

you inhale sharply; your precum is all over his tongue and slowly dripping from his parted lips. he’s so adorable like this, panting and dazed as he goes down on you. such a shame that you’d promised to let him do all the work tonight, because all you’re itching to do is to shove him down onto the bed and fuck his tight throat.

aeons, he’s such a sight that you almost missed the question entirely. “good weird. c’mon, back to work.” you caress his cheek with one hand, gently trying to coax him back to giving you the head of your life. “you’re doing so well, give me more.”

you don’t need to tell him twice. aventurine doesn’t hesitate to lick and tease around your tip, his tongue digging carefully into your slit and feeling the veins on the side, until he slowly lowers his mouth and deepthroats you.

“oh, oh, aven,” you moan, physically restraining yourself from grabbing his head and doing whatever you want. “mm, that’s good,” you sigh loudly as your hips buck involuntarily, “you feel so good, i don’t think i can-”

“shh, you can,” aventurine coos, moving one hand to play with your balls as he bobs his head, “be good for me, hm? you promised.”

so pretty.

your boyfriend is so fucking pretty. your cock bulging in his throat every time he takes it all the way, his swollen lips covered in saliva and precum, his face colored a dark pink as tears bead at his eyes, and his own arousal straining against his pants…

you want to mess him up. 

“you,” aventurine stutters when he feels you get bigger in his mouth, “you, hngh, why’d you-”

“sorry, baby,” you say between gritted teeth. you’re about to lose it; you sit up and carefully slip your hands into his hair, and you hold him in place as you thrust into his mouth. “ah, your mouth is so warm,” you groan, tugging lightly at his hair while you move, “i can’t help it, you feel too damn good.”

the way you bite your bottom lip as you move is so intoxicating, the way your skin glistens with sweat as you pick up the pace and abuse his throat, aventurine can’t think anymore. like a possessed man, he seeks out your thick cock in his mouth, your taste, your body, and your affection. 

“ah, augh, hngh, please,” aventurine gags, with how rough you’re going, but he absolutely loves it. “harder, fuck me harder.” his words come out muffled, slurping and swirling his tongue like he just can’t get enough of your liquids. “please, please, i need, i…”

“oh, you need it?” your soft smile twists into a smirk, your grip tightening ever so slightly in his hair. “what do you need?” you’re feeling mischievous; you pull him off of you and take some time admiring his teary eyes, messy lips, and the sticky semi-clear liquid dripping down his chin. “aeons, you’re absolutely divine,” you say as you swipe away the beading tears with your thumbs, “tell me, baby. tell me and i’ll give it to you.”

“i need to taste you,” aventurine whines, a cute sound of annoyance when he doesn’t feel your cock between his lips, “i want your cum down my throat. please?” he adds, as if that would make you tease him less, “please?”

you stare at your lovely boyfriend, almost gasping at how desperate he is. you’ve gotten him all hot and bothered before, but it’s rare that he gets so needy for you. your hands slide down his face and you caress him gently, until you decide to slip your hands into his hair once more and shove him down your throbbing cock the exact moment you thrust upwards. 

“attaboy, that’s it,” you purr, holding aventurine’s head firmly as you take a moment to revel in the snug velvet of his mouth. “mm, that’s it, good boy, is this what you want?” 

“gah-eugh, hngh, mmf! y-yes!” he chokes, but he refuses to tap out. he allows you to push past his gag reflex and make him cry with each and every motion of yours. “i, i, augh, yes, i love it.” he ruts his hips harder, grinding against nothing as he sobs and moans, “aah, i can’t help myself… you’re so big!”

“like being called a good boy, huh?” you chuckle; aventurine likes to act tough, but whenever you give him what he likes, he melts into such a pretty puddle for you. “good boy, rinnie, you’re such a good boy,” you breath out between pleasured moans, “i’m, i’m close, oh, i’m going to come inside,” you ramble, your hips stuttering as you struggle to keep up the pace, “can i? rinnie, please, can i?”

he nods, his hands groping all over your thighs, your ass, all while he tries his very best to work harder for your cum in his mouth. he absolutely adores this sight, you’re drowning in feelings only he can give you, and you’re enjoying it so much that you can’t help but whimper for him.

“yes, yes, do it,” aventurine chokes out around your cock, his fingers gliding along your arched back. “do it, c’mon, lemme taste you…”

you keen sharply, bucking your hips one last time and grabbing onto your boyfriend’s head tightly. “fuck, i can’t, i can’t, baby, aah–” your thrusts become sporadic as you twitch helplessly, hot cum shooting straight down aventurine’s throat as you keep grinding yourself against his face– “oh, oh, that’s so good, fuck, rinnie, you’re so good, you’re doing so well.”

“hn, hmf, mh?” aventurine moans at how much you’re pouring into him, but he isn’t complaining, he swallows with practiced ease before he slowly eases off of you, a strand of milky white dangling from his lips. “bleh… you came so much…” he pants, crawling up the bed and laying down on top of you, “your turn to take care of me, you bastard.”

you laugh heartily, your hands are already reaching for the drawer on the nightstand. “of course, just sit back and relax,” you whisper, giving your sweet lover a kiss on his cheek. “we have the entire night still in front of us.”

[ttshihiro]

pspspps.. totally not golden groovy woops

ANYWAYS HII!! heard u were open for requests. may i request tammy + qiu with and an artist reader :00

requests of my favorite fandoms are my catnip good gof woa who could this be‽‽ my reqs and my ask box are like always open btw >◡<

extra note/s: I refer to step 1 Qiu as he/him. Uhhh take this as platonic or romantic, I'll add an indicator for romance (𐙚) ^^

more under the cut > o

✧ At 10 years old, QIU's fascinated. How he discovers your interest and skill in arts varies but his reaction doesn't. He's impressed! Whether digital or traditional, Qiu would love to participate especially if you asked him yourself.

For this reason, he carries an extra pen and even those colored ones just in case you get bored or if you're suddenly struck by creativity when you two are playing :3

✧ The first time you show him one of your doodles you made during class, he's compelled to do the same whether or not you actually give him it. And ever since, you two've been exchanging these sketches during class. It's the cutest scene to walk into.

✧ URGH AND THE THINGS HE DOES WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT ART BLOCK DEPENDING ON HOW AND WHAT YOU DRAW

You're into drawing sceneries? Trust that he starts telling you and Tamarack about more "special things" in the forest and/or the town.

Like the sky? There's this clearing a lot further into the forest at your backyards. Stargaze, watch the clouds and the sunset together?

✧ It's also necessary for me to mention that unlike his notes, lazily pressed against eachother and constantly on the run, anything you give him goes to a safe space probably in between a books pages, under the the matress of his bed or inside a drawer/container.

"They broke into my backyard accidentally, 'cause they were on a crazy investigation about a paper airplane. Plus, they got here a day ago and they're already looking out for me. Normally, I'm the one doing that."

"Besides, they're pretty. And they make me pretty. Look! Look how they drew me!"

✧ As for 10-year-old TAMARACK, she's curious. The things you draw, are they based on actual places? Actual people? Oh, you draw based on your imagination? Elaborate.

✧ At some point in the prologue, she says "All the forests in the world are different, and some places don't even have forests. I can show you good spots to find things since you're newer to this forest than me."

And I can't not think of her running up to you to give you all of what she gathered for you to draw like omfg

With all those leaves and tiny branches sticking out of her hair and sweater, she smiles brightly with her hands filled with her treasures. AUGH SHE MAKES ME SO SICK I LOVE HER

✧ Like Qiu, she has her own safe spot designated for only your drawings if you've given her any.

She shows off all of them. Especially if you've drawn her?? It'll be the only thing she talks about during literally any time for the rest of the month and the few months after.

"Out of all the friends I have here, you're the best one. We came to the same exact neighborhood, almost at the same time, and are he same age. You have fun outside and I do too."

"I think you're pretty. How you draw me is pretty! I've never met a kid who was just like me. That's important. That's serious."

✧ Now, 14-year-old QIU's pretty much no different. They're even more impressed when they see just how much you've improved. Nonetheless, they treasure your old drawings just as much as they do they new.

They take the liberty of providing you with both a pen and paper to draw on when you're together, in case you don't bring your sketchbook (if you own one).

On those days where you two just sit in silence in their hideout, their gaze drifts to your side quietly a few times to watch your progress. After a while, they settle with sitting right next to you and watching the stroke of your pen against the paper as the scene forms with each hatch.

✧ As a teen, they've actually been a tad bit farther off the town when they feel like taking a ride on their bike. They've seen many sights and burn the route into their brain for them to tell you about. They'd even be happy as to bring you there themselves.

✧ If you ask them to be your muse, good god you'd need to tell them what to do.

It's almost a funny sight. Qiu, the kid who knew what to do their whole life asks you, "Should I pose? Where do I look? Ah- what's my good side?"

𐙚 They can feel their breath hitch under your scrutiny. Suddenly, they're concious of every single thing about them. Where do their eyes go? Should they move their hands? Is their hair in the way?

They avert their gaze flusteredly, their head ever so slightly moving to the side when they do so.

And good god do their hands clutch the fabric of their pants when you tell them to look at you properly.

✧ Same goes for TAMARACK at 14. She's as intrugued as ever to hear about your work. She admires (you)r style from then till now and has learned to appreciate the time gone into things as simple as this, whether or not you've made it with her in mind. BUT GOD IF YOU TELL HER IT IS, it's always sitting on her desk and she thinks constantly about what you've done for her.

✧ And while she doesn't exactly bring you a pen, she's more than glad to hand you hers when you need it.

✧ Unlike before, she'd now be at your side when you two hung out at her backyard. She'd be sitting across from you, practicing the cello. The hum of her instrument accompanied by the sound of nature and the scratch of your pen against paper gives her a sense of calmness.

This may also be when she realizes she's been your muse! Her fingers trace over where your pen has been and boy appreciate isn't even enough for her to describe how she felt. It was definitely happy, but that wasn't the word either.

𐙚 Her heart pounds alarmingly as she admires your work. It's almost concerning to you that she sits silently with a blank expression as she held your sketchbook in her hands.

But that concern washes off you as soon as a warm smile curls the corners of her lips, tender adoration displayed all over her face.

[meebles]

A snippet from my Codywan Bodyswap!AU that I’m working on:

Obi-Wan grunts, blinking as he comes to. His vision swims before it snaps to a sudden clarity. All at once, he realizes three things that are very, very wrong.

First, and most worryingly, he cannot feel the Force as he normally does. He’s not completely cut off, but only just.

Second, he’s certain he was in his quarters when he dozed off. Now he finds himself in a rarely-used storage room deep in the Negotiator’s sublevels, where the men keep their homebrew that Obi-Wan definitely doesn’t know about. He’s slumped against a wall, with the majority of Ghost Company peering down at him in various states of confusion.

Third, is that he’s certain his men just called him Cody.

“What… ?” he starts, staring down at his cuisse-clad thighs. Frowning, he moves to trace a finger across the stripe of gold paint running across the right, only to blink down at a hand that isn’t his own.

Ah, Sith hells.

“I think you should come to medical,” he hears Scabs say, and Obi-Wan agrees, but first they’ll have to go find—

“Oh, Force, Cody— ”

He ignores the odd looks the troopers give him, the reality of the situation suddenly gripping him like a vice. Cody, thrust into his body, but his mind untrained and unused to sensing the living Force that surrounds them—

“Scabs, I need you to get a sedative and meet me at— at the General’s room,” he states as he fully gathers himself upright, adjusting for his new center of gravity.

His CMO blinks at him. “What— the General? What are you— ?”

“I’ll meet you there and explain, just, please. A sedative,” he manages, already opening the doors. He looks back for a split-second to see Scabs nod in affirmative, before rushing out of the storage room.

Unfortunately, his own quarters are entirely on the other side of the venator. He runs past a few troopers, who startle at his haste, but he just calls back an all clear and doesn’t stop running, he needs to get to Cody—

After what feels like a tenday on a blessedly empty turbo-lift, Obi-Wan finally makes it to his quarters. He punches in the override and the door slides open, revealing the exact sight he feared— his own body, hunched over on the floor, clutching his head as he shakes—

“Cody,” Obi-Wan says, kneeling beside him, and Cody jolts, staring up at him with trembling eyes.

“Vod?” he asks in Obi-Wan’s voice, before his eyes widen impossibly further when they land on the scar at his temple, his own scar. “What is— augh!”

Obi-Wan curses under his breath, catching Cody as his eyes roll back, body slacking. He pulls him into his lap, resting his head as gently as he can against his armored thighs.

“Cody, my dear, it’s me, it’s Obi-Wan,” he says, holding Cody’s quavering form as still as he can. “Just focus on me, focus on my voice, just my voice, right here, with you.”

“Can’t— ” Cody spits out, head shaking. “It’s too much, I can’t— ”

“Shh, I know, I know. I’m so sorry, just try for me, please? Just try, it’s just me and you here together, no one else, just us… ”

Obi-Wan keeps muttering what’s probably nonsense, but he needs to give Cody some sort of anchor, something to focus on instead of the thousands of living souls he can suddenly sense aboard the ship, something present and definite in the entirety of the Force that he’s now privy to.

Cody groans, pressing himself further into Obi-Wan’s lap. “Please, make it stop, make it stop— ”

“Cody— what happened to the General?!”

Obi-Wan looks up and sees Scabs in the doorway, and bites back a sigh of relief. He’s about to explain when his medic is suddenly kneeling by his side, shaking his head.

“Fuck— that machine, it worked, didn’t it?” he says, opening his supply bag.

“Yes, it did.” Why the effects were so delayed, Obi-Wan has no idea, but right now it doesn’t matter. “And Cody— he’s not used to how my body senses the Force, it’s too much for him all at once.”

“I understand,” Scabs states, prepping the sedative. “Hold him steady, please. Bare his neck.”

Obi-Wan does as he’s told, chest clenching as he stares at Cody’s unseeing eyes. It’s a terrible solace when Scabs injects the needle and seconds later, they fall shut.

[neverwalka1one]

I got to see Wicked last night, and whoo boy I have thoughts. Cut for spoilers, you've been warned.

I'm looking forward to seeing the 'Good News' song at the end of the second movie - Glinda already looked conflicted about the Giant Elphie Effigy (good lord those munchkins work fast)

Also, I thought the movie highlighted better that those in Munchkinland knew Elphaba her whole life, and this is still how hard they bought in to the propaganda.

The little hint that Glinda's bubble is all mechanics. Chef's kiss.

Glinda's bubble has a Designated Landing Place. Just. Consider all that implies, with Glinda having been until very recently the Wizard's goodwill ambassador.

'Take it away' will never not be heartbreaking. Also, of course Elphaba is going to grow up a fierce defender of animal rights, she was raised by a talking animal, and that bear was the only one to be kind to her consistently through her childhood. Dafuq.

Baby!Nessa!Rose's little meeps. Just. I died.

'Oh, they're going to miss me.' Galinda I love you you ridiculous gal.

I like this twist on why Elphaba was at Shiz. I loved the way she so desperately wanted to go, but couldn't ask for herself. I loved her trying to defend Nessa Rose's independence... and then still being blamed for stifling her. Excellent.

Also did y'all see the picture of the animals behind the cracked and fallen fresco of the Wizard in that scene? Foreshadowing my beloved.

Galinda writing a little 'it's great' card put on top of the saddest pile of bedding you've ever seen.

'What is this Feeling?' omfg. I loved Elphaba putting her foot down about the roommate situation.

I also liked that they moved Elphaba's talk with Dr. Dillamond off-campus. It makes more sense that this status-quo challenging talk would be done away from the powers that be.

Also it sets up Fiyero running into Elphaba (literally) better, and omfg. I love that horse, he's great, more horse in the second movie please.

Omg Galinda flirting. And Fiyero flirting back, but Galinda (and Elphaba) missing that at that point Fiyero was flirting with pretty much everyone because hey, it's fun, it's easy, and it works.

On that note, Fiyero flirting successfully with the librarian. <3

The whole Ozdust scene. All of it. The outfits, the dancing, the prolonged social anxiety/social embarrassment. The way Elphaba refuses to show she's been hurt. The way Galinda finally understands that. THE DANCE APOLOGY.

I did find it a little weird that one of the only lines cut from the musical was the 'Lemons and melons and pears. Oh my' bit between Boc and Nessa Rose.

Also can we talk about how excellent Jonathan Bailey is as Fiyero?

'Popular' is, as always, fantastic. And highlights just how good Galinda is going to be at the politics of this world.

'That might be your secret, but that doesn't make it the truth' AUGH GALINDA just rip out my heart why don't you.

I liked that when Elphaba rescues the lion cub, she's more restrained/talented than in the beginning of the movie. It makes sense, she's been learning all this time.

THE BIKES. THE LION CUB IN THE BIKE BASKET. THE WIZARD OF OZ CALLBACK. LOVE.

The mushroom things during 'I'm Not That Girl', idk what those were but they were so so pretty lord I love the world-building.

That scene of Nessa Rose, Boc, Galinda, and Fiyero all together, and Elphaba on the outside in the dark. Fiyero looking out over the courtyard as he's being pulled away. Augh, all of it.

The way the students turned on a dime the second Elphaba got that invitation.

That. Train. Steampunk my beloved.

Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth getting singing roles, YES, THANK YOU, that was such a great surprise, I was squeaking like bebe Nessa Rose.

On the flip side... sigh. I called it. Jeff Goldblum was... very Jeff Goldblum. That guy, while a lot of fun, is the exact same character in pretty much everything he's been in for the last few years. I still think that casting was a mistake. Hear me out: The original Wizard was Joel Grey. Joel Grey was also the Emcee in Cabaret. ... so tell me it wouldn't both be great casting and an awesome call back to have casted Alan Cumming as the Wizard. I can't have everything I guess.

Also, and it might be just me/the effects of a late night screening, but when Elphaba and Galinda are walking into the palace, with the doors slamming behind them, and there's a scene with the torchlit hall behind them? Didn't the fire look like how the flames in the original Wizard of Oz movie looked? Just sort of... fuzzier and blurred than how film tends to pick up fire these days? It might have just been me.

Also this movie does have a bit of the Les Mis problem - you've got some cast members with serious vocal chops... and theeeeeen there's the ones that... tried hard. Great actors every single one, but would it have killed the director to find people for those roles that could match vocally as well? This movie doesn't need big names. We're not going for the big names, people.

I liked how the movie explained better why the Wizard not being able to read from the Grimorie was such a big deal.

The monkeys. Oh, the flying monkeys. Also the scene of Madam Morrible framed by flying monkeys. Thanks for breaking my heart.

'Defying Gravity'. All of it. Every bit of it. Holy. Shit. Holyshit. HOLY. SHIT.

So yeah, I'm going to have to see it eleventy-billion more times before it leaves theaters.

[confused-rat]

Lily's complete disregard towards people suffering from addiction fucking makes me want to scream. My dad was addicted to alcohol, and it's partially what led to his brain just...giving up on him in his last years of life.

And yeah, it's easy to just say "Don't smoke this or don't drink that," but like most things it's easier said than done. I should know, I used to think the exact same thing. How is it so hard to just not do something that harms you? But the thing with addicts is that...is exactly what keeps them as addicts. They can't quit because it's hard to do it on their own, needing either professional help or someone in their family helping cheer them on to stop. And sometimes, not even that worked. I should know, my dad had both and he just went back to drinking despite the times he was doing so well. That's another unfortunate truth about addicts: They sometimes don't change no matter how badly they insist that they want to, for themselves and for the people they love, and will always relapse. Because the addiction is strong and it's hard to give up.

And for Lily Sister-Molesting-Bad-Faith-Critiquing-Incest-Pedophilia-Loving-Rape-Game-Playing-Cancer-Faking-Bullshit-Peddling-GOD-DAMN ORCHARD to come out and say "Junkies don't deserve sympathy because they should know not to do this thing" makes me want to fucking...She should stop. She should just fucking stop talking about anything. Especially when talking about shit she clearly doesn't understand. I'm not taking sympathy advice from the fuckwit who clearly doesn't have any in her heart.

I have complicated feelings when it comes to hard drugs and addicts too, because my own father is a meth head who refuses to help himself—but that doesn’t mean I assume the worst of other addicts. Drug addiction is hell, and recovery is a life-long commitment and Herculean task. They all have their own reasons for starting, and yeah, some of those reasons are sympathetic.

Her saying “they’ve always had to option to NOT do it” oversimplifies the issue to a grossly ignorant degree. It’s stupid, I don’t think I’m articulated enough nor unbiased enough to speak on the issue more—but. Augh.

My dad started because he was working off the Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina—he drank to cope with it until he eventually shattered his tibia in a drunken accident. Then he got addicted to pain pills as he went through multiple surgeries to take out the shrapnel and replace most the bone with metal. From there it was a downward spiral until he got his hands on the harder stuff. Am I sympathetic to why he started? Yes. But he’s had multiple chances given to him since then to help himself, and he doesn’t. Does that mean I’m going to assume every addict is like him? No.

Lily admitted herself that she’s only letting the fact she only knows assholes who smoke weed color her perception of the entire issue. Fuck veterans who the government screwed over, fuck peer pressured teens without support systems, fuck neurodivergents and people with diagnosed anxiety/cancer who have medical reasons, fuck those with trauma who had no other outlets to cope—all these people clearly had the option to not do that, so they don’t deserve sympathy. That’s what Lily’s saying.

She can fuck off.

[skekthesilly]

heres why i dont think i can read objectified: a silly little story by me

okay. so basically

objectified has a lot of content, from what i can tell! thats really fucking awesome. that gets me super excited

objectified also has body horror? also gets me really fucking excited because i loooove love love body horror

also monster objects/objects with animal features???? yes pleade. gets me sooo so excited

PARASITES?????????? FUCK YEAH. EXCITEMENT INCREASES EVEN MORE

literally EVERYTHING that objectified has gets me excited. its sooo so so cool. so why can't i read it?

because it gets me too excited!! tee hee

"ermmm skek what do you mean too excited isnt getting excited a good thing"

ahahaha wrong

you see when i get excited its this feedback loop in my head of

YIPPEE!!!! -> YIPPEE!!!! v

^ YIPPEE!!!! <- YIPPEE!!!!

and it loops. over and over and over and over again. and every time it loops the excitement gets bigger and bigger and bigger. my mind is a particle accelerator of excitement and it wants every excuse to start accelerating

and when i get too excited it does NOT FEEL GOOD.

my heart rate starts increasing like nuts and i start feeling sick and it gets really hard to breathe!!!!!!!!!!! and it is really not fun

and do you know what happens after???

i feel like i want to vomit!!!!!! hooray!!!!!

like i genuinely dont have a good healthy proper output for all of my excitement because either i want to start running around (last time i did that i stepped on something that pierced straight thru my foot and it was bleeding like fuck... also id have to have an awkward conversation with my mom on why im running around and explain to her object shows) or punch the walls and scream (i think you can tell why i cant be doing that either) and shaking my arms around like a silly little goober does not help

so like it basically goes like this:

"i should read objectified"

"ohohoho yes YES i should read objectified theres so much cool stuff"

"yes YES IM GONNA DO IT IM GONNA READ OBJECTIFIED"

"oh FUCK oh god this is not a good feeling oh GOD WAIT STOP STOP GETTING EXCITED"

"AUGH AUUUGGHHH AUGGGGGHHHHHHH FUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AUUUGHHH AUUUGGH FUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK STOP STOP STOP AUUGGGHH AUUUGHHHH STOP AAAUAUUUGGGGHHHHHHH"

*COUGHING INTENSIFIES*

*THIS IS THE PART WHERE I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA VOMIT*

and i fear that if i read objectified i will unironically explode. like into guts n shit. like i will actually have a fucking seizure or go into cardiac arrest and die.

like every time i even THINK about objectified the shit above happens. EVERY SINGLE TIME. im not even exaggerating the exact shit happens every single time. so imagine what would happen if i read it

this applies to tfmi as well

so yeah!! fun stuff :)

[cementcornfield]

I’d love to hear your joe’marr night of natty thoughts if you ever wanted to share! 🥰

augh this is so old i'm sorry!!! but god yes i have MANY thoughts on that night.

below the cut for some rambling nonsensical (very shippy!!) thoughts about it!

so ok. it's long been my headcanon that the night of the natty would be when they first hook up, after a longgggg season of tension and hidden glances and awkward not quite flirting. like basically it would have been building for a long time whether either of them are really aware of it or not (and i doubt they'd be all that aware of it! focus on the football ya know? not on these funny feelings that i'm sure are very normal! that constant elation and adrenaline they feel around each other is just all the winning and record-breaking plays! in fact! winning and their feelings for each other are kind of completely intertwined so how can they even /start/ unpacking all that??)

so anyway! as we all know, joe gives ja'marr the game ball that night. we still don't know the EXACT circumstances (did he plan to, was it a spur of the moment thing, did ja'marr ask for it?? etc etc). we do know ja'marr joked later about not giving it back to joe lol, but i do think that WAS a joke actually. so like, obviously the whole team went out and partied/celebrated and didn't get back to the hotel until probably early in the morning, all drunk on booze and victory and each other! joe and ja'marr would have gone back to their separate rooms and ja'marr would see the game ball just sitting there where he left it on his bed before they all went out. and he can't stop thinking about the soft look on joe's face as he gave it to him. how amazing they were together that night. how it (for all he knows!) is the last time they would ever play together. and suddenly he decides that he needs to go see joe right then and there (to give the game ball back, of course, no other reason 🙂)

so he'd go knock on joe's door (who is still too pumped up on the events of the night to have fallen asleep, but he'd definitely still answer to door shirtless 🙂) and they'd just stare at each other for a moment, then joe would invite ja'marr in (because he's a gentleman) and ja'marr would try to give the ball back (because as much as he was bragging and being goofy about it before, he can't believe that joe would really be serious about ja'marr wanting to keep it. i mean. it's the GAME BALL. joe earned it, joe wanted it!)

and joe would get this serious look on his face and refuse and say that he gave it to ja'marr, that ja'marr deserves it for that game and for everything that season. everything he did for and meant to joe. (and of course what he would REALLY mean is that the ball is 10000% a symbol of his heart and his love and it all belongs to ja'marr, and it has for some time now! but obviously he can't say that because he is a Strong Stoic Football guy and probably still doesn't even realize what he means as he says it)

but i think ja'marr would understand anyway (because he has slightly higher EQ) he would get what joe meant. what everything has been building up to all season long, what joe means to him, what it's going to be like to be without him next year. and they're just looking at each other and they're drunk and vulnerable and neither one knows who makes the first move but they're suddenly making out and ja'marr drops the game ball and they don't even think about finding it until the next morning (because they are otherwise occupied 🙂)

but then the next morning! angst! because they're two dumb college kids who grew up in toxic masculine sports culture and they can NOT deal with what happened (no matter how much they 100% both enjoyed it). ja'marr would rush out of the room the next morning (NOT taking the game ball) and joe would see him trying to sneak out. they'd lock eyes for a moment and not say a word, ja'marr would leave and that would be that. but later that day, ja'marr would find the game ball back in his room. (i dont know HOW but listen joe was a god to the city of nola that day, he could probably convince the hotel staff or something. don't worry about it.) and ja'marr would see it sitting on his bed again and he'd be hungover and tired and freaking out and he would absolutely cry about it a little bit. because he's a huge cry baby and going through a lot 💔

but yeah, things would be awkward for joe and ja'marr during all the celebratory ceremonies, and then joe would graduate and go on to the draft, and ja'marr would stay in nola. and they wouldn't keep in touch at all besides a few texts in various group chats. maybe check in with each other once or twice to see how each other is dealing with like, the pandemic (hey 2020!), ja'marr might text joe congrats on being drafted number 1....and that's it!

UNTIL joe gets hurt his first season, ja'marr's sitting out his season at home in nola, and he reaches out to check on him. it's been long enough that they can both pretend they forgot about it, and they catch up a little bit. they're both lonely as joe recovers and ja'marr isn't playing, so they'd get to talking more and more. ESPECIALLY when it becomes obvious how well positioned cincy is going to be in the draft, and how high ja'marr is going to be drafted. which is when they start making plans that sound like fantasy at first but become more and more realistic, of actually playing together again! (which is how we get to joe texting ja'marr the morning of the draft telling him to have his bags packed 🥲)

of course it's awkward when they first see each other in person again. they barely think of that natty night anymore (except that they do all the time, but they're good at repressing and compartmentalizing! they're athletes!) but when they see each other in person it's hard not to remember everything that happened that night. but hey! they push past it, assume the other one isn't thinking the same things, and try to get that chemistry back (which does actually take awhile, as we all know! probably because of all the emotional baggage!) and then fast forward to their first game together in the pros (against the vikings!! with justin there!! fate fate fate!!!) and it goes so well and ja'marr gets that amazing TD that's just like all the ones they got together at LSU....and uhhh yeah. let's just say they celebrate that night too 🥲

[zahai]

pl lease

mushishi is probably up there as one of my favourite anime ever (and maybe even just media in general) and i finally decided to try and do fanart for it. it’s a bit rough but i’m proud of how it looks!

[certifiedgoofball]

so i finally watched the devil's chord and i. AUGH!!!! UEUHGH!!!!!!! i watched space babies a couple days ago and it was good ofc but i felt like it was missing something but devil's chord was literally fucking PERFECT. it was scary and emotional and silly and weird all at the same time and i almost cried and i got so many goosebumps and i just AAHH!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE EP UNDER THE CUT. GIANT RANT. I AM AUTISM.

i already have a giant bias towards the episode cuz one of my longest interests has been music and instruments but oh my fucking GOD the way they talked about music and hearing classical songs that i knew almost sent me to tears IM NOT JOKING. ruby playing the piano was so awesome and hearing saint saen's danse macabre made me feel like i was going to ascend into the heavens. putting doctor who and classical music, two of my biggest interests, together, was the best thing imaginable. I LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS EPISODE MAKES ME.

SECONDLY, I LOVED MAESTRO. like the toymaker (who i also adore so SO incredibly much), they have this silly evilness to them that makes them so INTERESTING!!! and then finding out maestro is the child of the toymaker was EVERYTHING. BECAUSE IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. jinkx monsoon, the person that plays maestro, says some stuff about them that explains why i love them so much. "When human rules don't apply to you, you get to do whatever you want. You don't have to worry about whether your emotions make sense to people because you don't have to answer to them." and "What I love about Maestro is that, while objectively evil, they are an artist, they have a mission statement. " THESE ARE THE EXACT REASONS I LOVE THE TOYMAKER AND MAESTRO SO MUCH. both of them are other-worldly beings. they're gods of their own realms. they're dramatic and passionate and so dead-set on getting what they want. but its not just about getting what they want, its about having fun with it and turning it into a show. because what's the point in going out if you cant go out with a BANG?

something else i loved was the doctor in this episode. ncuti gatwa's doctor, like david tennant's, is so extremely emotional and passionate and it makes me want to SOB. the doctor mentioning his granddaughter? TEARS IN MY EYES. "i can only smile like this because ive lost so much" SOBBING ON THE FLOOR. the 15th doctor has already been so emotional and i know im gonna cry so so much while he's around. BUT THATS SOMETHING I LOVE ABOUT DOCTOR WHO. because it can be so silly and weird and funny and then it can turn around and be spine-chilling and emotional ALL IN THE SAME EPISODE. because when you think about it, the story of the doctor is HEARTBREAKING. and when that side of him comes out you HAVE to expect the waterworks.

AND THEN RUBY THE ENTIRE EPISODE ???? i know theres something up with her and i just OH MY GOD!!! BECAUSE THE SNOW??? THIS EPISODE AND LAST EPISODE? AND THE SOUND OF CHRISTMAS?????? im gnawing on the bars of my enclosure I NEED TO KNOW. shes so interesting I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT because its like who's her mom?? whys she able to do the snow thing?? how did she have a song in her ????? AND MAESTRO SAYING THINGS LIKE "no he couldnt be there" "the old one couldn't've been there" WHO IS THAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

IM GOING INSANE. IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I COULD EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES.

[silverwhittlingknife]

When people say that Dick “has a temper” what do they mean?  Is he the type to blow up over an inconvenience, be impatient, or rage-quit?

Ahhhh, I had a lot of fun with this. Thanks for the ask, anon. <3

My main feeling about Dick's temper is it's an important part of his characterization, and it's a fun part of his characterization, but I also try not to overemphasize it? A lot of my thoughts are here; also @theflyingwonder has some good panel collections here and here and here if you want to see what Dick generally looks like when he's grumpy about something.

General thoughts / caveats:

Anger is obviously not the only emotion Dick ever feels!! He feels many other emotions too!! The fact that he is capable of getting really angry sometimes does not mean that he is angry all the time!!

He's a person who feels emotions very deeply - anger, love, loyalty, etc. - but also has a very conflicted relationship with his emotions. He aspires to be perfectly controlled, like he imagines Bruce is, and he's ashamed of moments when he loses control. Because he's wound pretty tight and represses a lot, his emotions can be a bit explosive when he loses his grip on them.

I would never describe him as "an angry person." He doesn't walk around fuming at the world and looking for things to be mad about, y'know? He's a person who wants to be optimistic and tries to be optimistic. This very much includes when he's Robin.

He wouldn't blow up over an inconvenience unless he was already really upset about something more serious. But yeah, if he's upset about something important, sometimes he'll lash out at whatever's closest.

He's methodical and focused; he'll sometimes get impatient when he's, say, bored by his friends' TV preferences, and in general he gets restless and likes to be moving, but if he's got a challenging task to complete he's completely capable of hyper-focusing on it.

In his civilian life, he generally has a pretty good grip on the anger - so e.g. I don't remember him ever shouting at Clancy or civilian friends in general. When a reporter tries to get dirt on him by interviewing his neighbors at his apartment complex, they universally gush about how nice he is.

Meanwhile, in his vigilante life, he's got a rigid moral code and a rigid sense of duty. He cares a lot about helping people and protecting civilians, and he's emotionally-fulfilled by it, and he can be very kind. But he's also a super-intense person who takes his responsibilities seriously, and he'll get sharp with people that he feels aren't being serious enough. He only screws around when he's with people who are very serious themselves, like Bruce.

In an argument, Dick's generally direct and confrontational: he'll snap at you to your face, not sulk behind your back. Even when he's being a bit more passive-aggressive, he's not subtle about it. If Dick's annoyed with you, you'll know. If he doesn't like you, he makes it obvious.

Jean-Paul: I've seen you with Robin - you like Robin. Dick: You got a problem with Robin? Jean-Paul: No! I like Robin, too. He's an exceptional young man. I just mean... it's obvious when you like someone. And equally obvious that you don't like me. (GK 14)

Dick's just a very dynamic character in general, rather than a static one. When he's relaxed, he can be very easygoing and friendly; if you get off on the wrong foot with him, he's prickly and often harsh. He's got a very serious core, a strong sense of principle, and a passionate sense of loyalty to the people he cares about. Here's a light-hearted moment with Dick and Tim fooling around playing tag:

Dick (grabbing Tim from above): Gotcha! Tim: Augh! (B: Transference)

This is from the exact same arc as the panel at the top - but before Hugo Strange almost kills Bruce. And just in general I think this panel is a good reminder that Dick does all kinds of things that are not about being angry, that he's also the person who keeps Tim fed and repeatedly saves him from falling, that sometimes he'll pour his heart out to Bruce, that he really really really loves his friends, and so on.

Now, all that said, if you would like an extensive deep dive into Dick yelling at people (and really, who wouldn't? yelling is fun!), I've collected a super-long list of quotes which I've attempted to corral into organization. Below the cut:

Dick vs. criminals

Dick vs. Bruce

Dick + list of reasons he gets upset

Dick + annoyance at friends/teammates

Dick + lashing out at loved ones (rare! but, uh, very memorable)

Dick + first meetings with future siblings (+Steph)

In conclusion

Anger at Criminals

Dick's temper is an important part of how he thinks of himself: he's intensely self-aware about his temper and also conflicted about it. It comes up most often when he's fighting criminals, especially when they're threatening people he loves:

Dick (internally): At first, I couldn't believe what they were saying… but as the truth sank in, I felt a rage growing so great inside me - that it felt like I was just a part of the anger, instead of it being a part of me. Kid!Dick: Those animals! They murdered my mother and father! I'm going to the police! Bruce: No... not yet. (Secret Origins 13) Deathwing: You've been so angry for so long, Dick. Learn to accept it because you have no choice. You will become me, Dick, and I know because I am your worst nightmare! I am you! Dick: Never! I'm not you and I'll never be you! Yeah, I get angry. Sometimes I get so pissed I want to break everything in sight. But everyone gets mad. Everyone gets frustrated. But I don't fight out of anger! I fight when there's something wrong that needs to be stopped! And that's why I'll never be you! I don't fight to kill - I fight to protect! And what you said about Batman - well, pal, screw you. He's the best mentor anyone ever had! (NT 100) Dick (internally): I hit him harder than I should. Not sure why. It worries me that it feels so right. (N 2) Dick: I thought I was more in control than that. But I lost it. Tim: It was made right, Dick. The Joker is alive and not well in a maximum security cell. Dick: It’s not right with me. I never thought I could be a killer. I’m wrong. There’s a part of me I never saw before. The rage. I never felt anger like that. I feel like it clawed me up inside. (N 64) Dick (internally): Nothing Jason says can be taken for truth. He says Tim is dead. I'll need more proof than his word and an empty cowl. Because right now, I need to keep that hope alive. If for nothing else, then to keep me from losing control… and I won't let that happen. Can't let that happen. Can't. Dick (punching Jason): WHERE IS HE, JASON? Jason: Depends on what kind of life he led. Dick (breaking Jason's nose, then internally): There goes his nose. Control your anger. (BftC 3) Jason (internally): Dick is different from Bruce. In the way he fights. In the way he thinks. And the way he feels. And he gets angry. Really angry. That anger, it'd make him a great Batman, if he'd let it. He's trying too much to be like him.  The good son. Man, I hate him.  (B&R 25)

So something you'll notice about all of these moments is that Dick isn't proud of his anger. He doesn't experience it as cathartic, and he isn't proud of the things he does when he's angry. His anger is an enemy; it's the person he doesn't want to be, to the extent that after the fact being angry almost feels like an out-of-body experience, because in the burn of anger he'll do things that his conscious mind rejects.

I tend to think of anger for Dick as akin to a temptation. He's strong and talented and smart. He's capable of really hurting people. He also believes - viscerally, fiercely - that it's wrong to do so.

Worth remembering: Dick's big confrontation with Zucco, in most of his origin stories, involves taking the photo that gets him arrested:

Dick (remembering): Twenty-four hours later, we were on the trail of Boss Zucco... and when he murdered his own henchman, I took the photo that sent Zucco to prison! (Secret Origins 13)

And in Batman: Year Three, he's furious when he thinks that Bruce might have arranged for Zucco to get killed - when Dick's calm and thinking clearly, he believes it's wrong to kill even people who are clearly evil. It's only when he's swept up in emotion that he'll get violent.

Anger at Bruce

... Look, I had to give Bruce his own category.

Dick and Bruce have a lot of fights. Like, a lot of fights.

Now, this isn't at all particular to Dick! Dick's just one of many, many, many people in Bruce's life who periodically get fed up with him. So I wouldn't gloss this as Dick being unusually short-tempered - post-Crisis Bruce would provoke a saint (and does! at one point Clark briefly votes him out of the JLA!). And Dick doesn't always get angry when Bruce is being a jerk to him - sometimes he's just discouraged, or depressed.

But at the same time, Dick's not a pushover, and when he's sufficiently provoked, he'll often track Bruce down to confront him / demand an explanation / demand better behavior / etc. Paradoxically, I actually tend to see these confrontations as an expression of Dick's faith in Bruce. He gets angry because he expects better.

Here's a small sampling of Dick-angry-at-Bruce moments (some confrontations, some where Dick's just fuming on his own):

Bruce: Listen to me. Dick: Listen to you? You hand Gotham over to that nutcase altar boy. You leave this kid out to dry without a snowball's chance. Then you throw everything you’ve lived for aside like it was nothing! Killing this creep doesn’t make you as bad as the scum we hunt. It makes you worse. Because they never stood for anything. (R 8) Dick: If you say anything about 'finding myself,' I think I'll puke. Bruce: I thought you'd be glad to see me back. Dick: That depends on why you came back. Bruce: To take up the mantle again. To take back my place. Dick: For how long this time? Bruce: Not now, Dick. We can talk about this when - Dick: Right now. We're settling this right now, Bruce. (R 12 - Bruce has abruptly reappeared in the Batcave after leaving Dick and Tim in charge during Prodigal)

Dick: It was you who told us to stay out of Gotham. I’ve got a life here. I can’t just walk away from that. You’ll have to - (Bruce hangs up on him) Damn you! (N 34 - Bruce has been AWOL for months and now abruptly summons Dick to join him in No Man's Land) Dick (internally): Bruce is playing martyr. Keeping us at a distance. […] Why does it have to be this way with us? WHY? (He punches his car, and his hand comes away bloody.) Uncontrollable rage. The same rage I felt when I killed the Joker. Thought I had it under control. (N 65 - Bruce is accused of murder and freezing out the Bats) Bruce: What are you doing out of bed? Dick: You did it again, didn't you? You pushed everyone away! (N 99) Bruce: I assume this isn't a social call? Dick: What the hell is the matter with you? I mean, aside from the obvious! Ignoring the many layers of denial, and the fifty feet of psychological body armor that you throw up to avoid feeling anything! Aside from that! And the pathological need to control everything on Earth and beyond! Ignoring all that! What exactly is your compulsion, your burning desire to deceive, lie, and manipulate the only people who give a good god damn about you?! Bruce: You getting to a point? (O 21 - Dick just found out that Bruce was secretly funding the Outsiders)

Dick's relationship with Bruce is Complicated (TM), because he's also incredibly loyal, and - despite everything - he loves Bruce a lot. A lot of Dick's anger comes out of this frustrated loyalty - Dick feels betrayed and hurt because he loves Bruce so much. Here's a panel from later in Outsiders 21:

Bruce: You shouldn't place that much faith in me. Dick: I have more faith in you than anyone.

Reasons why Dick gets angry: an incomplete list

So if Dick isn't really the type to, say, rage-quit a game, then what does he get angry about (other than criminals and Bruce in general)?

I've tried to loosely categorize what seem to me to be the main things that can make him lose his temper:

as above, somebody Dick loves has been hurt and he's furious at the person who did it (so e.g. trying to kill the Wildebeests when they threaten the Titans, trying to kill Hugo Strange for trying to kill Bruce, lashing out at Tumult when he hurts Tim),

he's feeling attacked or betrayed and he's lashing out in self-defense (so e.g. a lot of the fights with Bruce, punching Roy after Roy fires him in New Titans, or calling Roy a junkie when Roy tells him he's just like Bruce in Outsiders, or yelling at Tim when Tim's insisting he should be Robin again),

he's angry about a lack of loyalty (so e.g. he's furious and feels betrayed when he learns that Bruce has replaced him with Jason; he's angry at Bruce for picking Azrael as Batman instead of Dick; he's angry at Tim when Tim suggests Bruce might be a murderer)

he's jealous (so e.g. he's hurt and angry when Kory marries someone else; his resentment of Azrael is much more about Bruce than it is about Azrael)

he's angry at another vigilante for behaving too violently/irresponsibly (so e.g. he has multiple fights with Kory insisting that she can't kill anyone; he's similarly furious with Bruce when he thinks Bruce has tried to kill someone; he snaps at the Titans in general after a failed mission; he's harsh about Tim and his team during Graduation Day)

he's unhappy and taking it out on someone else, often to drive them away (so e.g. he snaps at Donna and Alfred when he's depressed about Kory's marriage - arguably there's some supernatural influence here, but IMO he'd do it anyway; he gets snappish with Tim when he's depressed about his own lack of progress with Chulo/in Blüdhaven and also when he's actually mad at Bruce about Jean-Paul; he's very harsh to Babs and Wally when they try to comfort him post-J:LL; arguably most of his behavior in Outsiders after Donna's death falls under this category too),

he's unhappy and he's taking it out on an inanimate object (so e.g. smashing things after hearing about Kory's potential marriage; punching his car until his hand is bloody after Bruce has been a jerk to him, smashing a sign when Babs is jabbing at him by comparing him to Bruce),

his privacy is being violated by paparazzi (Dick hates photographers and will not hesitate to punch them or destroy their equipment)

I think something important about all these reasons is... they're understandable? It's not surprising that Dick is upset about the woman he loves marrying someone else; it would be stranger if he wasn't upset. It's not surprising that he lashes out defensively when he's feeing attacked - this is an extremely common thing to do! Dick's anger isn't a weird cloud of rage that just descends on him for no reason; he gets angry when he has something to get angry about.

That said, he does have particular things he's especially touchy about - loyalty, privacy, control, etc. And his anger can be physical - he does break things.

Dick + annoyance with friends/teammates

Dick calls a team meeting to rebuke the Titans in Titans 13

This is lower-key, so I wouldn't always describe this as anger per se, but it feels relevant: Dick can get snappish if he's in a bad mood, though he'll usually back off if it's pointed out to him:

Dick: Half this world goes to hell in a handcart and you do nothing? Donna: Hey, don't shout at me because your personal life has gone crazy. We had a crisis… Dick: You had a crisis? Who hasn't? And my personal life, for what it's worth, is a: just fine, and b: none of your business. Do me a favor and go. I want to be alone. (NTT 18 - Dick's upset because Kory is marrying someone else)

Dick: Roy! What the hell is this? Why is Lian in the way? She should be in a crib or something, not where people can step on her. Roy: Dick, my daughter is in nobody's way, and I'm watching her every move. Dick: Oh, yeah? Well, I've had it - Roy: Dick, your friends are here to help you and you're not making it any easier. C'mon, pal - calm down. Dick: You're right. I'm sorry. This is all getting to me. Roy: Really? The immediate world and I never noticed. (NT 100)

Dick (surprising Tim): You should've known you wouldn't hear anything. Not in this wind - but if you'd been downwind on the other side, you might have scented me. Tim (startled): Nightwing! Dick: You did want to meet - or do you just like playing computer games? Now let’s make it snappy - I’m in New York on my own business. Tim: And a big fat hi to you, too. (Showcase '93 11 - Dick's upset because he's blaming himself for someone Chulo murdered)

Dick: He didn't send you to check up on me? Tim: Huh? Dick (scowling): Don't play dumb. Tim: Batman? I came down on my own, Dick. What's with the attitude? Dick: Sorry, Tim. I haven't been making a lot of progress since I got here. (N 6 - Dick's self-aware here - he's on edge because he thinks he's doing a bad job)

Babs: Okay, calm down, take a deep breath, and explain again why you’re so angry… Dick: Why am I angry? I’m not angry, I’m–I’m–I’m dismayed, okay? I’m dismayed that there can be a Robin who believes Batman could be guilty of murder! How could that happen, Babs? How could that happen?! (GK 26) Kory: You could say goodbye to your teammates. Dick: They're not my teammates anymore. Kory: They noticed. (TT/O Secret Files 2005)

You'll notice that several of these include Dick backtracking and apologizing. He doesn't hold grudges or fume forever! And Dick's generally self-aware enough to realize why he's snappish once he takes a step back:

Dick: I…I’m sorry…I know this isn’t your fault. Here I’m attacking you - and you’re probably just as scared as I am. I just feel so frustrated. Batman could always remain calm in a crisis. I guess that’s just another difference between us. Maybe I’d be better off if I just cut myself off from all feeling like he does. (NT 77)

Something Dick generally isn't apologetic about: Dick is intensely self-critical about badly-done vigilante work, and in a team setting, he's not that patient with other people's mistakes.

Here's Dick calling a team meeting so he can scold the team in Titans 13:

Dick: Lock the doors, sit down, and pay attention. And that's an order. ... Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed.

Here's an argument between Dick and Donna in Graduation Day 2 - the context is that Young Justice just screwed up an earlier fight, and Tim's berating himself and Conner while Dick and Donna eavesdrop (you'll notice that like Dick, Tim tends to be pretty self-critical + impatient with teammates):

Conner: The Titans got their lumps. Tim: No, the Titans got our lumps. They were looking out for us. There we were, shoulder to shoulder with the inspiration for Young Justice. And we lose half our team and half of theirs. Conner: Tim, I bet they were a lot like us when they started. Tim: No, I don't think so. (Donna and Dick are eavesdropping.) Donna: He's being awfully hard on himself. Kind of reminds me of someone. Dick: I don't know what you're talking about. Donna: You could tell him he's wrong. Dick: Is he? Donna: We stepped in it plenty of times, Dick. Plenty. We got beat by Dr. Light. Completely pantsed by Trident. We had the ill-conceived idea that the Mad Mod was a threat. There was that time in South America when we left Garth in the sun for three hours. Lots of stuff… We even got kidnapped by Count Vertigo. How embarrassing was that? Dick: I didn't get kidnapped. I got nabbed when I was coming to save Roy. Donna: Nevertheless, they could use a kind word. Dick: I'm not sure a kind word is what they need.

The upshot is that Donna goes to comfort Cassie while Dick goes off alone.

Again, the point is not that Dick goes around fuming about his teammates 24/7! He cares about the Titans and trusts them to watch his back; he feels the same way about Tim.

But in the heat of the moment, he'll sometimes get snappish or impatient, especially with people he's close to. The friends that Dick has who stick around are the ones who are tough enough to stand up to him, and who understand him enough not to take his occasional moods personally.

Dick + lashing out at loved ones

This one's a bit meaner. Dick's really good at picking out other people's insecurities, which he almost never uses against them ... but when he's retaliating, he's got an instinct for what will hurt the most:

Dick: No, I won't stop it. How dare you tell me what to do when you screwed up so badly Raven could be dead by now? Who knows what Mento did to Gar and Vic? Maybe your failure killed Kole. No, I won't stop. I won't! Donna (punching him): Shut up, Dick! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I don't want to hear anymore! Dick: But you're going to, Donna. You made me listen to what you had to say. But you don't like hearing the truth about yourself, do you? The perfect Donna Troy maybe isn't so perfect after all. (NTT 19 - Dick's under an ambiguous amount of Brother Blood influence during this period, but he's also just really upset about Kory, and I tend to interpret BB as "reducing his self-control" not "he's a totally different person")

Bruce: I didn't expect to see you again. Dick: I heard about Jason. I'm really sorry, Bruce. Bruce: You weren't at the funeral. People asked about you. Dick: C'mon, Bruce - talk. Don't turn your back on me. I'm here… now. Bruce: You were lucky. When you didn't listen to me, your injuries weren't fatal. Of course, by the time I properly trained you - Dick: Bruce, c'mon…lay off. I'm not here to fight. Bruce: Then don't! Dick: Are you blaming me? I left, so Jason replaced me, and because I left he died? No way, pal. Jason wasn't me. I was a trained acrobat. I could think quickly in perilous situations. But why did you let him become Robin before he was ready?!? Bruce (punching him): Don't you dare blame me for Jason's death! Don't you dare! (NT 55 - this fight is ofc 110% Bruce's fault even before the punch, but Dick absolutely is blaming Bruce for Jason's death here) Dick (trying to punch Roy): GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU TRAITOR!  Roy: Dick, I'm your friend… Blast it, man - why are you doing this?  Dick: Friends don't turn on friends, Harper. I've been there every time you called me. I sat up with you all night while you were detoxing. That was not a pretty sight.  (NT 101 - Dick's upset about getting fired as team leader)

Dick: I disgraced myself and my uniform. Both uniforms. I have to learn to live with that or quit. No more surprise visits, Babs. Don't make me sorry I put an elevator in this building. (BoP 37)

Roy: Look at you! Your greatest fear in life, the thing that eats at you - is that you're terrified of becoming Batman!! A cold, detached, emotionless loner. I've got news for you, that's exactly what you are. You've become the man who raised you. Dick: Yeah…and you're just like the man who raised you. A shallow, self-loathing, womanizing thrill-seeker. Except he was never a junkie. (O 16) Gar: I guess it doesn't bother you that your new teammate killed your old one? 'Cause it sure bothers the hell outta me. Dick: Enough. I'm here to find Kory and Tim. I don't need Terra's best friend lecturing me about loyalty. (TT/O Secret Files 2005)

Dick + 1st meetings with future siblings (+Steph)

I hesitated including this on the list because it's lower-key and not always anger per se, but I think a lot of times when people say Dick "has a temper," they're not necessarily talking about his angriest moments so much as pushing back against the idea that he's happy or welcoming all the time.

If you're reading post-Crisis canon, Dick's a prickly introvert who can be slow to warm up to newcomers in Gotham. He's not exclusively cranky by any means! But he's not all smiles, either. Here are some snappish moments from first meetings with Jason, Tim, Cass, Damian, and Steph:

Dick: They'll probably switch to another lab, now that you've spooked them. Jason: Then it's no big deal! We'll just locate their new digs and bust them when they take possession. Dick: Wrong! I'll locate the new lab all by myself! You're going home to tell Batman how you screwed up tonight! Jason: Come on... (from Dick's first meeting with Jason in B 416 - Jason attacked a group of criminals too hastily)

Dick: Now, who the hell are you? Tim: That doesn't matter now. Dick, look at this please. Dick: Kid, I don't like games. (from Dick's first-technically-second meeting with Tim in LPoD - Tim's been chasing him all around the circus, and although Dick doesn't yet know this, also broke into his apartment)

Bruce: You can trust her. Dick: Six months ago, that would've gotten you further than it will now. Now, I'm not sure it's enough. Bruce: What more would it take? Dick: An explanation of who she is for a start. (from Dick's first meeting with Cass in B: LotDK 120 - Bruce went AWOL for months and has now resurfaced with a protégé) Jason: It's a new world. It's not all backflips and balance bars. You were good. Were. But Gotham needs a tougher Robin now. Dick (internally): A sneaky, mean little punk. Maybe you hired him before the Joker could. (from the retold version of Dick's first meeting with Jason in N 104 - Bruce gave stupid instructions leading Jason to misunderstand and pick a fight with Dick)

Dick (internally, when he notices Damian's makeshift Robin costume): Damian's costume. Note to self: smack a clue into this kid. Damian: You're embarrassing me! Dick: You do that just fine on your own. (from Dick's first meeting with Damian in N 138 - Damian's probably scared, which means he's snarky; he's making rude remarks and resisting Dick and Tim's attempts to protect him)

Dick: What in the hell were - are - you thinking, throwing someone so reckless into the field like that? Babs: Gosh, Dick - I'm sorry I haven't spent more time trying to train a murderous little twit. (from right after Dick's first meeting with Steph in BG 5 - Steph accidentally froze Damian)

How much you weight these moments depends a lot on your personal aesthetic preferences! I love conflict, and Dick's initially kinda thorny relationships with his siblings are part of why I enjoy him as a character. I don't feel the need to "fix" this kind of grumpiness and honestly I don't even really see it as a flaw? Dick's not morally obliged to like his future siblings on first meeting them, and if he never got snappish with any siblings ever, no matter how annoying they were being, he'd be a lot less interesting to me personally.

For me, Dick's prickly side adds an important nuance to his characterization, and makes it more compelling. He's a human being, not a conduct book! His strength is that he's willing to reconsider his first impressions, not that he never has negative first impressions.

That said, obviously genre and context matter! I have enjoyed plenty of softer takes on the Batfamily in fanworks, and in a softer, gentler world like e.g. WFA, it would be weird to keep Dick's grumpier moments. Also, Dick obviously isn't 24/7 harsh to his siblings - he can also be really empathetic and protective, and although he never gets especially close to e.g. Steph, he does change his mind about her, and he's ultimately a huge source of emotional support to Tim and Damian (they grow on him! ... eventually).

In Conclusion

One of my favorite Dick stories of all time is Nightwing 139, and I think it nicely encapsulates how I see Dick's anger - it's an important contrast to his softer side. He's a person with an instinctive temper, and compassion and understanding aren't always immediate or easy or effortless for him. But he's also a loving person with a big heart, and it's the love that always matters to him in the end.

Here's Dick discovering that Tim is thinking about using the Lazarus Pit, getting angry, and leaping down to try to physically stop him ("He may not stop you, but I sure as hell will!")

Dick (sarcastically): So, Robin... you think maybe we can hug this out?

It's important to me that Dick's first instinct is to have a physical fight, not to try to talk! He does all the wrong things before he does the right thing! He doesn't magically know the right thing to say to Tim right away!

But doing the right thing matters to him, and Tim matters to him, which is why he gets there eventually. When Tim tears up Dick softens at once:

And in the end Dick backs off and lets Tim make the choice, which isn't easy or instinctive for him either! But it's the right thing to do, and it's what Tim needs to pull himself out of the power struggle and realize he's making a mistake, and then Tim stammers apologies and Dick reassures him and they do hug it out, and it's very tender:

Without Dick's anger, you don't have a lot of his stories. But his anger doesn't define him - he doesn't let it. As Dick puts it,

"Yeah, I get angry. Sometimes I get so pissed I want to break everything in sight. But everyone gets mad. Everyone gets frustrated. But I don't fight out of anger! I fight when there's something wrong that needs to be stopped! And that's why I'll never be you! I don't fight to kill - I fight to protect!

And that's a big part of why I think he's great.

[tezuze]

Hi I’m gonna rant about Ghost Game for a second

Not to meaning to add to the endless “What the hell happened to Ghost Game????” discourse but uh, yeah I guess I am contributing to that

I have quite a bit to say about my theories on what I think went wrong and what they could’ve done better and why I desperately do not want a season 2 (I know the irony of how that looks on me) but if I wrote all that in one space I think it would be so long that even I would start begging for me to shut up

So, I’m going to split these up into more digestible categories that I’ll write whenever I’m procrastinating

In case I never get around to anything else, I’m going to start with the biggest loss to me, how I think the Digimon were supposed to influence their tamer’s personal growth and visa-versa

I’ll put the rest below the cut before I get outta hand

Hiro and Gammamon: Augh. These two frustrate me the most. So much lost potential in my book, but I would feel weird putting the mc anywhere but the top of the list, so I decided to put them in the order they join the cast and therefore you get my most passionate feelings first.

Almost one of the first things we learn about Hiro as a character is how self-sacrificing he is. He’s your stereotypical mc who wants to help everyone, but the narrative points out that he’s willing to be helpful at the expense of his own wellbeing, which paints his conventionally good trait as a flaw. And that’s about all they touch on in the base show, with a lot of reading between the lines. I would’ve loved to see the ramifications of his self-sacrificing nature and have the cast point out how he’s really harming himself and stretching himself thin just to appease others. I don’t think the “being helpful is good, but not at the expense of your health” moral is touched on enough so I always get excited when stories have that as one of their themes.

And then there’s his partner, Gammamon, the exact opposite of Hiro. He’s needy, dependent, wild, and selfish at the start. He doesn’t care about others (or their belongings). He’s demanding. He’s destructive. He proves to be a handful for our polite little Hiro, especially with his dad missing and this responsibility suddenly thrusted upon him.

I would’ve loved to see Gammamon teach Hiro to be a little more selfish (or at least, more self-preserving), while Hiro teaches Gammamon to be more considerate and tame. Of course, we see Gammamon grow in this way but the story doesn’t really make it clear that it was necessarily Hiro’s doing or give much of a catalyst at all for why Gammamon has personal growth other than it would be troublesome to have such a brat as the main creature. Now, I know that Guilmon’s arc was kinda similar in that they didn’t have direct events or anything that would make him mature, but it still felt more… realistic? Tended to? Idk I’m going to force myself to move on.

Ruli and Angoramon: Honestly just kinda disappointed with the lack of attention these two got in general in comparison to the other pairs, but I digress.

We meet Ruli with the impression that she’s brash, headstrong, and charismatic. She does things her way on a whim. Especially in the first few and select episodes, but in my opinion, it seemed like they kinda pushed her to the background and her personality was very passive and mild at times (and I don’t think that was on purpose).

Similarly to Hiro and Gammamon, Angoramon has quite a few contrasting personality traits. He’s softspoken, knowledgeable, and introspective. When Hiro first meets Angoramon, he doesn’t want to reveal himself because he’s nervous and doesn’t want to be a bother.

I think these two were supposed to balance each other out. Ruli would learn to think about things more and not run in half-cocked, maybe start to appreciate the more slow and peaceful things in life like nature and reading (Yeah Ruli, don’t think I forgot about that scene where Angoramon wanted you to read one of his favorite books and you DIDN’T and never DID). Meanwhile, Angoramon would come out of his shell more from sticking around Ruli. Possibly learn not to be so overbearing? Idk, honestly I don’t think Angoramon has as much room for growth because he seems the most level-headed character in the cast.

Lastly,

Kiyoshiro and Jellymon: Now, I know I have some bias toward these two so it might seem I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt but I’m going to try to come at them as objectively as I can.

They kinda half-executed what I think they were going for with these two, so they don’t offend me as much (which I think is part of the reason why I like them so much), but a full written out arc between them would’ve been a dream.

Kiyoshiro at the beginning of the series is, well, a sniveling inconsolable scaredy cat. On top of that, he’s kind of cocky and stuck up, obsessed with order and somewhat an introvert (to a lesser extent and differently than angoramon, in the “can’t relate to other humans” kinda way). Outside of his flaws, he is at least kind and pure of heart (I mean his name more or less means “pure white”) with a strong sense of justice and morals.

Jellymon, the devil creature, is so chaotic her intro episode goes right for the “everyone is going to die and it’s all Jellymon’s fault” thing. She has her moments of scheming and kinda like Gammamon, is pretty selfish and demanding with hints of Ruli’s recklessness as well.

As far as their canonic growth goes, Jellymon’s the only one that sees the bravery in her darling, which helps him nurture that courage and cast aside some of his fears (which, yay they actually kinda do in the series albeit pretty indirectly and kinda inconsistently). Also, the narrative never outright says Kiyo is lonely but he surely doesn’t have any companions, but we can see him grow on his partner and admit that it’s nice to have such a close friendship (pretty sure the whole “I like humans” thing was directed at Jellymon, even though she’s not human shhhhh it makes sense I promise)

Now for what they didn’t really touch on, I think these two were supposed to break each other’s stubbornness. I think Jellymon was supposed to show Kiyo how to relax more and not become so absorbed in studies/research and such. We meet him already knowing he has a love for anime, idols and the like so I’m not sure if he could really learn the lesson to appreciate more of the little things, but maybe she’d show him to love some more like, people-centered type things? (I mean she does love festivals). On the flip side, I think Kiyo was supposed to use not his classroom knowledge, but his personal knowledge to show Jellymon all there is to love about humanity outside of their monetary worth and give her a genuine love for the human world. Oh yeah, and teach her to stop scamming people.

“”””I’m gOinG tO tRy To LiMiT mY BiAs oN KiYoSHiRo aNd jElLyMoN”””””””” *Proceeds to spend half my rant talking about Kiyoshiro and Jellymon even though I think they did them pretty well*

Anyway, would love to hear other’s opinions on this as well as if it seems like I’m reaching and there weren’t supposed to be arcs like this. I just feel like the characters are too inherently flawed and contrast too perfectly with their Digimon for them not to have intended some more character-centered personal growth arcs.

I’m sorry and thank you for reading my dumb thoughts.

[candyskiez]

teru and shigeo (???%) for the duo bingo

As you can see I have a normal amount of thoughts and feelings about them.

(romantically ad platonically are because I love their dynamic either way)

God. God. What do I even say about them I haven't already said. Actually I don't think I've said much publicly I usually scream in my friends dms. Hold on. I can talk so much about this.

It's the. God. Okay. God I wish the ???% and Mob seen was kept in full in the anime because like. So much of the shit he says to Mob/himself/you know. Hand waves. Weird self shenanigans. We're going w the system read for this tho. It's so fucking Teru? It's so fucking Teru??? The "there's nobody I can trust nobody here so why don't I just do whatever the fuck I want, none of these people matter, it's all pointless, I deserve BETTER." The. The parallels. The rage. The angry confusing feelings the why have YOU decided we're friends the fact they're the SAME and they both hate it at that low point, they hate seeing themselves reflected and they feel like the worst person in the world so they NEED the other to attack them and hurt them so they don't feel like they're the one in the wrong. The resentment. The. Oh my god. There is no way to make me shut up about them.

God. Post canon. What does ???% even do now. He was wrong. He did the exact thing he hated Teru for doing. He has no idea if he regrets it because Teru did it FIRST. Why does he have to be the good person here. Why can't he stay mad. Do you ever think about. Do you ever think about the fucking. Gestures wildly. Everything. Hello. And the. The. God what do I even say. Everything about post canon is so fascinating. Why does nobody explore the messy shit. Why is everyone insistent on making it Just Fluff. Like I love the fluff too but why can't you talk about the messy shit without being stabbed. It's weird man. I find the messy parts so interesting yk. I want to see them! And I want to see how do you even GO ABOUT fixing a slight that bad. Y'know. Y'know. Breaks a wall.

Me and a friend (if ur reading this, hi!) talk so much about aus with them. Like. What way can you make them NOT interesting. Like aus where they're friends before character development are so so interesting to mess with. What's up there. You remind me of myself and I don't think that's a good thing. You understand me and I've wanted that more than anything else and I think I'm going to ruin this. Like. HRHRHDHDH. Gnaws on a wall. You are just like me and I didn't realize how fucking selfish I could be until I saw how you are. Vs I know you and I know why you did it and you make sense and. Shakes them. Shakes them!!!!! They would be SO INTERESTING as being close in some way whatever you want to interpret them as. They're everything. I want to put them in a terrarium and study them. Like them meeting each other before canon and being friends and their development Changing because of that. Do you get it. Do you get it. It's complicated! It's weird! Aaaagh!!! AUGH. Augh