#this is. my exact feelings about you i. augh

[starfallenx]

This made me fucking cry thank you

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

[icewindandboringhorror]

Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..

[mars-ipan]

genuinely i don’t know how someone could meet a kid and decide children are horrid monsters actually. kids are so good

[rxzennia]

oral sex

✎𓂃 in the case of aventurine giving | m! reader

it’s taking everything in you to stay still. aventurine has you spread out in bed, his mouth around your dick and his hands on your thighs. your back is arched into the mattress and you’re trying your best to not whimper, but there really isn’t much you can do when he’s got your hips held down firmly.

“w-wait, babe, wait,” you hiss, shuddering and twitching so beautifully under him, “not there, it feels weird…”

“weird?” aventurine repeats slowly, lifting his head and staring up at you with hazy eyes. “how weird?”

you inhale sharply; your precum is all over his tongue and slowly dripping from his parted lips. he’s so adorable like this, panting and dazed as he goes down on you. such a shame that you’d promised to let him do all the work tonight, because all you’re itching to do is to shove him down onto the bed and fuck his tight throat.

aeons, he’s such a sight that you almost missed the question entirely. “good weird. c’mon, back to work.” you caress his cheek with one hand, gently trying to coax him back to giving you the head of your life. “you’re doing so well, give me more.”

you don’t need to tell him twice. aventurine doesn’t hesitate to lick and tease around your tip, his tongue digging carefully into your slit and feeling the veins on the side, until he slowly lowers his mouth and deepthroats you.

“oh, oh, aven,” you moan, physically restraining yourself from grabbing his head and doing whatever you want. “mm, that’s good,” you sigh loudly as your hips buck involuntarily, “you feel so good, i don’t think i can-”

“shh, you can,” aventurine coos, moving one hand to play with your balls as he bobs his head, “be good for me, hm? you promised.”

so pretty.

your boyfriend is so fucking pretty. your cock bulging in his throat every time he takes it all the way, his swollen lips covered in saliva and precum, his face colored a dark pink as tears bead at his eyes, and his own arousal straining against his pants…

you want to mess him up. 

“you,” aventurine stutters when he feels you get bigger in his mouth, “you, hngh, why’d you-”

“sorry, baby,” you say between gritted teeth. you’re about to lose it; you sit up and carefully slip your hands into his hair, and you hold him in place as you thrust into his mouth. “ah, your mouth is so warm,” you groan, tugging lightly at his hair while you move, “i can’t help it, you feel too damn good.”

the way you bite your bottom lip as you move is so intoxicating, the way your skin glistens with sweat as you pick up the pace and abuse his throat, aventurine can’t think anymore. like a possessed man, he seeks out your thick cock in his mouth, your taste, your body, and your affection. 

“ah, augh, hngh, please,” aventurine gags, with how rough you’re going, but he absolutely loves it. “harder, fuck me harder.” his words come out muffled, slurping and swirling his tongue like he just can’t get enough of your liquids. “please, please, i need, i…”

“oh, you need it?” your soft smile twists into a smirk, your grip tightening ever so slightly in his hair. “what do you need?” you’re feeling mischievous; you pull him off of you and take some time admiring his teary eyes, messy lips, and the sticky semi-clear liquid dripping down his chin. “aeons, you’re absolutely divine,” you say as you swipe away the beading tears with your thumbs, “tell me, baby. tell me and i’ll give it to you.”

“i need to taste you,” aventurine whines, a cute sound of annoyance when he doesn’t feel your cock between his lips, “i want your cum down my throat. please?” he adds, as if that would make you tease him less, “please?”

you stare at your lovely boyfriend, almost gasping at how desperate he is. you’ve gotten him all hot and bothered before, but it’s rare that he gets so needy for you. your hands slide down his face and you caress him gently, until you decide to slip your hands into his hair once more and shove him down your throbbing cock the exact moment you thrust upwards. 

“attaboy, that’s it,” you purr, holding aventurine’s head firmly as you take a moment to revel in the snug velvet of his mouth. “mm, that’s it, good boy, is this what you want?” 

“gah-eugh, hngh, mmf! y-yes!” he chokes, but he refuses to tap out. he allows you to push past his gag reflex and make him cry with each and every motion of yours. “i, i, augh, yes, i love it.” he ruts his hips harder, grinding against nothing as he sobs and moans, “aah, i can’t help myself… you’re so big!”

“like being called a good boy, huh?” you chuckle; aventurine likes to act tough, but whenever you give him what he likes, he melts into such a pretty puddle for you. “good boy, rinnie, you’re such a good boy,” you breath out between pleasured moans, “i’m, i’m close, oh, i’m going to come inside,” you ramble, your hips stuttering as you struggle to keep up the pace, “can i? rinnie, please, can i?”

he nods, his hands groping all over your thighs, your ass, all while he tries his very best to work harder for your cum in his mouth. he absolutely adores this sight, you’re drowning in feelings only he can give you, and you’re enjoying it so much that you can’t help but whimper for him.

“yes, yes, do it,” aventurine chokes out around your cock, his fingers gliding along your arched back. “do it, c’mon, lemme taste you…”

you keen sharply, bucking your hips one last time and grabbing onto your boyfriend’s head tightly. “fuck, i can’t, i can’t, baby, aah–” your thrusts become sporadic as you twitch helplessly, hot cum shooting straight down aventurine’s throat as you keep grinding yourself against his face– “oh, oh, that’s so good, fuck, rinnie, you’re so good, you’re doing so well.”

“hn, hmf, mh?” aventurine moans at how much you’re pouring into him, but he isn’t complaining, he swallows with practiced ease before he slowly eases off of you, a strand of milky white dangling from his lips. “bleh… you came so much…” he pants, crawling up the bed and laying down on top of you, “your turn to take care of me, you bastard.”

you laugh heartily, your hands are already reaching for the drawer on the nightstand. “of course, just sit back and relax,” you whisper, giving your sweet lover a kiss on his cheek. “we have the entire night still in front of us.”

[ttshihiro]

pspspps.. totally not golden groovy woops

ANYWAYS HII!! heard u were open for requests. may i request tammy + qiu with and an artist reader :00

requests of my favorite fandoms are my catnip good gof woa who could this be‽‽ my reqs and my ask box are like always open btw >◡<

extra note/s: I refer to step 1 Qiu as he/him. Uhhh take this as platonic or romantic, I'll add an indicator for romance (𐙚) ^^

more under the cut > o

✧ At 10 years old, QIU's fascinated. How he discovers your interest and skill in arts varies but his reaction doesn't. He's impressed! Whether digital or traditional, Qiu would love to participate especially if you asked him yourself.

For this reason, he carries an extra pen and even those colored ones just in case you get bored or if you're suddenly struck by creativity when you two are playing :3

✧ The first time you show him one of your doodles you made during class, he's compelled to do the same whether or not you actually give him it. And ever since, you two've been exchanging these sketches during class. It's the cutest scene to walk into.

✧ URGH AND THE THINGS HE DOES WHEN YOU TELL HIM ABOUT ART BLOCK DEPENDING ON HOW AND WHAT YOU DRAW

You're into drawing sceneries? Trust that he starts telling you and Tamarack about more "special things" in the forest and/or the town.

Like the sky? There's this clearing a lot further into the forest at your backyards. Stargaze, watch the clouds and the sunset together?

✧ It's also necessary for me to mention that unlike his notes, lazily pressed against eachother and constantly on the run, anything you give him goes to a safe space probably in between a books pages, under the the matress of his bed or inside a drawer/container.

"They broke into my backyard accidentally, 'cause they were on a crazy investigation about a paper airplane. Plus, they got here a day ago and they're already looking out for me. Normally, I'm the one doing that."

"Besides, they're pretty. And they make me pretty. Look! Look how they drew me!"

✧ As for 10-year-old TAMARACK, she's curious. The things you draw, are they based on actual places? Actual people? Oh, you draw based on your imagination? Elaborate.

✧ At some point in the prologue, she says "All the forests in the world are different, and some places don't even have forests. I can show you good spots to find things since you're newer to this forest than me."

And I can't not think of her running up to you to give you all of what she gathered for you to draw like omfg

With all those leaves and tiny branches sticking out of her hair and sweater, she smiles brightly with her hands filled with her treasures. AUGH SHE MAKES ME SO SICK I LOVE HER

✧ Like Qiu, she has her own safe spot designated for only your drawings if you've given her any.

She shows off all of them. Especially if you've drawn her?? It'll be the only thing she talks about during literally any time for the rest of the month and the few months after.

"Out of all the friends I have here, you're the best one. We came to the same exact neighborhood, almost at the same time, and are he same age. You have fun outside and I do too."

"I think you're pretty. How you draw me is pretty! I've never met a kid who was just like me. That's important. That's serious."

✧ Now, 14-year-old QIU's pretty much no different. They're even more impressed when they see just how much you've improved. Nonetheless, they treasure your old drawings just as much as they do they new.

They take the liberty of providing you with both a pen and paper to draw on when you're together, in case you don't bring your sketchbook (if you own one).

On those days where you two just sit in silence in their hideout, their gaze drifts to your side quietly a few times to watch your progress. After a while, they settle with sitting right next to you and watching the stroke of your pen against the paper as the scene forms with each hatch.

✧ As a teen, they've actually been a tad bit farther off the town when they feel like taking a ride on their bike. They've seen many sights and burn the route into their brain for them to tell you about. They'd even be happy as to bring you there themselves.

✧ If you ask them to be your muse, good god you'd need to tell them what to do.

It's almost a funny sight. Qiu, the kid who knew what to do their whole life asks you, "Should I pose? Where do I look? Ah- what's my good side?"

𐙚 They can feel their breath hitch under your scrutiny. Suddenly, they're concious of every single thing about them. Where do their eyes go? Should they move their hands? Is their hair in the way?

They avert their gaze flusteredly, their head ever so slightly moving to the side when they do so.

And good god do their hands clutch the fabric of their pants when you tell them to look at you properly.

✧ Same goes for TAMARACK at 14. She's as intrugued as ever to hear about your work. She admires (you)r style from then till now and has learned to appreciate the time gone into things as simple as this, whether or not you've made it with her in mind. BUT GOD IF YOU TELL HER IT IS, it's always sitting on her desk and she thinks constantly about what you've done for her.

✧ And while she doesn't exactly bring you a pen, she's more than glad to hand you hers when you need it.

✧ Unlike before, she'd now be at your side when you two hung out at her backyard. She'd be sitting across from you, practicing the cello. The hum of her instrument accompanied by the sound of nature and the scratch of your pen against paper gives her a sense of calmness.

This may also be when she realizes she's been your muse! Her fingers trace over where your pen has been and boy appreciate isn't even enough for her to describe how she felt. It was definitely happy, but that wasn't the word either.

𐙚 Her heart pounds alarmingly as she admires your work. It's almost concerning to you that she sits silently with a blank expression as she held your sketchbook in her hands.

But that concern washes off you as soon as a warm smile curls the corners of her lips, tender adoration displayed all over her face.

[the-way-astray]

Favorite thing about Unraveled?

major unraveled spoilers under the cut:

cassius likes art reveal and subsequent keefe-cassius conversation. god it's perfect. that entire chapter is perfection. kissing it on the mouth. shannon really got me with the reveal like i fully did not see that coming, and it's a reveal that actually adds something of importance and is foreshadowed!!!! so basically my favorite form of plot (i know this is technically character but shut up. let me have my moment)

making cassius nuanced is the best thing shannon decided to do with this book, by far. over the course of the series, i have been consistently confused about why cassius wants to join the black swan . . . it's literally everything he stands against. he hates talentless people. he adheres to matchmaking. he's snobby and arrogant and cares way too much about the council's opinion of everything he does. but now!!!! now it all makes sense!!!! because with the reveal that he only uses that as a cover so he can break the rules behind the council's back and nobody will ever suspect him???? and the fact that for nine books that is the exact trap the audience has fallen into???? oh it's so good. so so so so good. like genuinely i had to put the book down at that reveal i was so shocked. and my favorite line in the entire book is "the lost cities are not kind to those who do not conform" or something to that effect. not because of the line itself (we've seen plenty of lines similar to that) but because it comes from the person you would least expect it from. cassius???? and now that you have the background to why he wants keefe to conform so, so badly, it almost makes you feel bad for him, but also he's still abusive even if his heart was sort of kind of in the right place???? kind of???? augh he's just. he's so nuanced!!!!

and the addition that the reason keefe was able to do so well in the forbidden cities was because of his dad!!!! i loved that. when i read stellarlune i was super annoyed that keefe was able to make out so well for himself when he quite literally knows nothing. it just isn't realistic that he somehow got an id or knows how to find the black swan's cameras by himself, but adding an extra layer of cassius backup and advice is just. fantastic. because now, not only is it realistic that keefe was able to make out so well, you can really see keefe struggle with making the logical decision even though he badly doesn't want to accept help from his dad. it's just. so so so so good.

also it's a relatively subtle detail but cassius getting genuinely hurt when keefe insulted his art had me kicking my feet. because!!!! we have never seen cassius like that before!!!! we've never seen him hurt. he's sometimes pissed off, but never like. hurt hurt. so seeing him like that, you can tell that his art really means a lot to him and that he does care about keefe's opinion in some things because keefe's insult made him feel genuinely sad. and it's like you really feel bad for him but also he sucks and is bad so not really. anyway. it's just so good!!!! favorite chapter in the entire book is the conversation between keefe and his dad. shannon cooked so hard with that.

[meebles]

A snippet from my Codywan Bodyswap!AU that I’m working on:

Obi-Wan grunts, blinking as he comes to. His vision swims before it snaps to a sudden clarity. All at once, he realizes three things that are very, very wrong.

First, and most worryingly, he cannot feel the Force as he normally does. He’s not completely cut off, but only just.

Second, he’s certain he was in his quarters when he dozed off. Now he finds himself in a rarely-used storage room deep in the Negotiator’s sublevels, where the men keep their homebrew that Obi-Wan definitely doesn’t know about. He’s slumped against a wall, with the majority of Ghost Company peering down at him in various states of confusion.

Third, is that he’s certain his men just called him Cody.

“What… ?” he starts, staring down at his cuisse-clad thighs. Frowning, he moves to trace a finger across the stripe of gold paint running across the right, only to blink down at a hand that isn’t his own.

Ah, Sith hells.

“I think you should come to medical,” he hears Scabs say, and Obi-Wan agrees, but first they’ll have to go find—

“Oh, Force, Cody— ”

He ignores the odd looks the troopers give him, the reality of the situation suddenly gripping him like a vice. Cody, thrust into his body, but his mind untrained and unused to sensing the living Force that surrounds them—

“Scabs, I need you to get a sedative and meet me at— at the General’s room,” he states as he fully gathers himself upright, adjusting for his new center of gravity.

His CMO blinks at him. “What— the General? What are you— ?”

“I’ll meet you there and explain, just, please. A sedative,” he manages, already opening the doors. He looks back for a split-second to see Scabs nod in affirmative, before rushing out of the storage room.

Unfortunately, his own quarters are entirely on the other side of the venator. He runs past a few troopers, who startle at his haste, but he just calls back an all clear and doesn’t stop running, he needs to get to Cody—

After what feels like a tenday on a blessedly empty turbo-lift, Obi-Wan finally makes it to his quarters. He punches in the override and the door slides open, revealing the exact sight he feared— his own body, hunched over on the floor, clutching his head as he shakes—

“Cody,” Obi-Wan says, kneeling beside him, and Cody jolts, staring up at him with trembling eyes.

“Vod?” he asks in Obi-Wan’s voice, before his eyes widen impossibly further when they land on the scar at his temple, his own scar. “What is— augh!”

Obi-Wan curses under his breath, catching Cody as his eyes roll back, body slacking. He pulls him into his lap, resting his head as gently as he can against his armored thighs.

“Cody, my dear, it’s me, it’s Obi-Wan,” he says, holding Cody’s quavering form as still as he can. “Just focus on me, focus on my voice, just my voice, right here, with you.”

“Can’t— ” Cody spits out, head shaking. “It’s too much, I can’t— ”

“Shh, I know, I know. I’m so sorry, just try for me, please? Just try, it’s just me and you here together, no one else, just us… ”

Obi-Wan keeps muttering what’s probably nonsense, but he needs to give Cody some sort of anchor, something to focus on instead of the thousands of living souls he can suddenly sense aboard the ship, something present and definite in the entirety of the Force that he’s now privy to.

Cody groans, pressing himself further into Obi-Wan’s lap. “Please, make it stop, make it stop— ”

“Cody— what happened to the General?!”

Obi-Wan looks up and sees Scabs in the doorway, and bites back a sigh of relief. He’s about to explain when his medic is suddenly kneeling by his side, shaking his head.

“Fuck— that machine, it worked, didn’t it?” he says, opening his supply bag.

“Yes, it did.” Why the effects were so delayed, Obi-Wan has no idea, but right now it doesn’t matter. “And Cody— he’s not used to how my body senses the Force, it’s too much for him all at once.”

“I understand,” Scabs states, prepping the sedative. “Hold him steady, please. Bare his neck.”

Obi-Wan does as he’s told, chest clenching as he stares at Cody’s unseeing eyes. It’s a terrible solace when Scabs injects the needle and seconds later, they fall shut.

[neverwalka1one]

I got to see Wicked last night, and whoo boy I have thoughts. Cut for spoilers, you've been warned.

I'm looking forward to seeing the 'Good News' song at the end of the second movie - Glinda already looked conflicted about the Giant Elphie Effigy (good lord those munchkins work fast)

Also, I thought the movie highlighted better that those in Munchkinland knew Elphaba her whole life, and this is still how hard they bought in to the propaganda.

The little hint that Glinda's bubble is all mechanics. Chef's kiss.

Glinda's bubble has a Designated Landing Place. Just. Consider all that implies, with Glinda having been until very recently the Wizard's goodwill ambassador.

'Take it away' will never not be heartbreaking. Also, of course Elphaba is going to grow up a fierce defender of animal rights, she was raised by a talking animal, and that bear was the only one to be kind to her consistently through her childhood. Dafuq.

Baby!Nessa!Rose's little meeps. Just. I died.

'Oh, they're going to miss me.' Galinda I love you you ridiculous gal.

I like this twist on why Elphaba was at Shiz. I loved the way she so desperately wanted to go, but couldn't ask for herself. I loved her trying to defend Nessa Rose's independence... and then still being blamed for stifling her. Excellent.

Also did y'all see the picture of the animals behind the cracked and fallen fresco of the Wizard in that scene? Foreshadowing my beloved.

Galinda writing a little 'it's great' card put on top of the saddest pile of bedding you've ever seen.

'What is this Feeling?' omfg. I loved Elphaba putting her foot down about the roommate situation.

I also liked that they moved Elphaba's talk with Dr. Dillamond off-campus. It makes more sense that this status-quo challenging talk would be done away from the powers that be.

Also it sets up Fiyero running into Elphaba (literally) better, and omfg. I love that horse, he's great, more horse in the second movie please.

Omg Galinda flirting. And Fiyero flirting back, but Galinda (and Elphaba) missing that at that point Fiyero was flirting with pretty much everyone because hey, it's fun, it's easy, and it works.

On that note, Fiyero flirting successfully with the librarian. <3

The whole Ozdust scene. All of it. The outfits, the dancing, the prolonged social anxiety/social embarrassment. The way Elphaba refuses to show she's been hurt. The way Galinda finally understands that. THE DANCE APOLOGY.

I did find it a little weird that one of the only lines cut from the musical was the 'Lemons and melons and pears. Oh my' bit between Boc and Nessa Rose.

Also can we talk about how excellent Jonathan Bailey is as Fiyero?

'Popular' is, as always, fantastic. And highlights just how good Galinda is going to be at the politics of this world.

'That might be your secret, but that doesn't make it the truth' AUGH GALINDA just rip out my heart why don't you.

I liked that when Elphaba rescues the lion cub, she's more restrained/talented than in the beginning of the movie. It makes sense, she's been learning all this time.

THE BIKES. THE LION CUB IN THE BIKE BASKET. THE WIZARD OF OZ CALLBACK. LOVE.

The mushroom things during 'I'm Not That Girl', idk what those were but they were so so pretty lord I love the world-building.

That scene of Nessa Rose, Boc, Galinda, and Fiyero all together, and Elphaba on the outside in the dark. Fiyero looking out over the courtyard as he's being pulled away. Augh, all of it.

The way the students turned on a dime the second Elphaba got that invitation.

That. Train. Steampunk my beloved.

Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth getting singing roles, YES, THANK YOU, that was such a great surprise, I was squeaking like bebe Nessa Rose.

On the flip side... sigh. I called it. Jeff Goldblum was... very Jeff Goldblum. That guy, while a lot of fun, is the exact same character in pretty much everything he's been in for the last few years. I still think that casting was a mistake. Hear me out: The original Wizard was Joel Grey. Joel Grey was also the Emcee in Cabaret. ... so tell me it wouldn't both be great casting and an awesome call back to have casted Alan Cumming as the Wizard. I can't have everything I guess.

Also, and it might be just me/the effects of a late night screening, but when Elphaba and Galinda are walking into the palace, with the doors slamming behind them, and there's a scene with the torchlit hall behind them? Didn't the fire look like how the flames in the original Wizard of Oz movie looked? Just sort of... fuzzier and blurred than how film tends to pick up fire these days? It might have just been me.

Also this movie does have a bit of the Les Mis problem - you've got some cast members with serious vocal chops... and theeeeeen there's the ones that... tried hard. Great actors every single one, but would it have killed the director to find people for those roles that could match vocally as well? This movie doesn't need big names. We're not going for the big names, people.

I liked how the movie explained better why the Wizard not being able to read from the Grimorie was such a big deal.

The monkeys. Oh, the flying monkeys. Also the scene of Madam Morrible framed by flying monkeys. Thanks for breaking my heart.

'Defying Gravity'. All of it. Every bit of it. Holy. Shit. Holyshit. HOLY. SHIT.

So yeah, I'm going to have to see it eleventy-billion more times before it leaves theaters.

[confused-rat]

Lily's complete disregard towards people suffering from addiction fucking makes me want to scream. My dad was addicted to alcohol, and it's partially what led to his brain just...giving up on him in his last years of life.

And yeah, it's easy to just say "Don't smoke this or don't drink that," but like most things it's easier said than done. I should know, I used to think the exact same thing. How is it so hard to just not do something that harms you? But the thing with addicts is that...is exactly what keeps them as addicts. They can't quit because it's hard to do it on their own, needing either professional help or someone in their family helping cheer them on to stop. And sometimes, not even that worked. I should know, my dad had both and he just went back to drinking despite the times he was doing so well. That's another unfortunate truth about addicts: They sometimes don't change no matter how badly they insist that they want to, for themselves and for the people they love, and will always relapse. Because the addiction is strong and it's hard to give up.

And for Lily Sister-Molesting-Bad-Faith-Critiquing-Incest-Pedophilia-Loving-Rape-Game-Playing-Cancer-Faking-Bullshit-Peddling-GOD-DAMN ORCHARD to come out and say "Junkies don't deserve sympathy because they should know not to do this thing" makes me want to fucking...She should stop. She should just fucking stop talking about anything. Especially when talking about shit she clearly doesn't understand. I'm not taking sympathy advice from the fuckwit who clearly doesn't have any in her heart.

I have complicated feelings when it comes to hard drugs and addicts too, because my own father is a meth head who refuses to help himself—but that doesn’t mean I assume the worst of other addicts. Drug addiction is hell, and recovery is a life-long commitment and Herculean task. They all have their own reasons for starting, and yeah, some of those reasons are sympathetic.

Her saying “they’ve always had to option to NOT do it” oversimplifies the issue to a grossly ignorant degree. It’s stupid, I don’t think I’m articulated enough nor unbiased enough to speak on the issue more—but. Augh.

My dad started because he was working off the Gulf Coast during Hurricane Katrina—he drank to cope with it until he eventually shattered his tibia in a drunken accident. Then he got addicted to pain pills as he went through multiple surgeries to take out the shrapnel and replace most the bone with metal. From there it was a downward spiral until he got his hands on the harder stuff. Am I sympathetic to why he started? Yes. But he’s had multiple chances given to him since then to help himself, and he doesn’t. Does that mean I’m going to assume every addict is like him? No.

Lily admitted herself that she’s only letting the fact she only knows assholes who smoke weed color her perception of the entire issue. Fuck veterans who the government screwed over, fuck peer pressured teens without support systems, fuck neurodivergents and people with diagnosed anxiety/cancer who have medical reasons, fuck those with trauma who had no other outlets to cope—all these people clearly had the option to not do that, so they don’t deserve sympathy. That’s what Lily’s saying.

She can fuck off.

[king-candybug-backup]

#I’M SO NERVOUS BECAUSE THERE’S A THING THAT HAPPENS IN IT WHERE I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE MIGHT NOT LIKE THE CHARACTERIZATION #BUT I’M DOING IT ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT’S BASICALLY THE CATALYST OF INSPIRATION FOR THE WHOLEASS FIC #I’M GONNA DO THINGS MY WAY AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME SFGHDFGVJB

Color me both extremely curious and slightly terrified of what these tags might mean. What are you planning. Mom come pick me up I'm scared.

But let me tell you, judging from the AMAZINGLY fitting characterization in this fic so far, I feel like you could do the wildest shit with these guys and STILL have it feel satisfying and in-character, so try not to worry so much and trust your instincts! I know for a fact that I'll be happily eating up whatever you dish out. :) Your writing is so awesome that I already know it's going to be a fun time lol

DFGHSCHG DON'T GIVE ME TOO MUCH LEEWAY, WHAT IF NEXT CHAPTER TURBO APOLOGIZES TO EVERYBODY FOR ALL HIS WRONGDOINGS AND THEY BECOME THE BEST OF FRIENDS AND MAKE EACH OTHER FLOWER CROWNS ALL DAY LMAO (I jest, of course, but y'know 😂😂😂😂 Thank you though, I appreciate that so very much, I'm just constantly overthinking crap augh)

For a bit of extra context on The Upcoming Thing, I am writing him through the lens of having NPD, and there’s one particular aspect of it that I see get kinda glossed over A LOT (not just regarding King Candy, I mean about NPD in general), so I’m gonna be getting into some nitty-gritties that I feel like people might view as a little “OOC” as compared to what we’ve gotten in canon (which is totally fine ofc, I’m basically working off a headcanon after all (though there is one very specific scene that also kinda got glossed over in the movie which is what extra-convinced me he’d probably have it, but I will get more into that when the chapter is published) and my interpretation of him is in no way gospel, but one of the main comments I’ve gotten doing this fic so far is how people seem to appreciate how “in-character” King Candy feels, so I’m just feeling like I might disappoint a few people in that regard if they don’t vibe with my interpretation for this particular scene coming up, lmao) but it’s something very important to me that I really, really want to touch on, so I’m doing it regardless of what others may think, hopefully people will still enjoy it, but if not, ah well. 😂 It’s my fic at the end of the day, and I’m not gonna change one of the core aspects of what inspired it gfdgcfhvb

(There will be a bit more explanation in the chapter notes, so it’ll be a bit of a “hear me out” lol, but try to bear with me! 😂)

Also I just want to make it VERY clear that this will not be a "King Candy is a terrible person because he has NPD" kind of story, that is the exact opposite of what I am going for, the reason I'm approaching this topic from the angle that I am is because there is a very, very misunderstood mindset towards NPD that I want to get into, and hopefully things will be made more clear when the chapter comes out. It may sound a bit counter-productive, doing the whole "give the villain NPD" headcanon thing, but I hope y'all can trust that my intention is ABSOLUTELY not to demonize, and that you're willing to hear me out about what I mean when the time comes! 🙏

[cementcornfield]

I’d love to hear your joe’marr night of natty thoughts if you ever wanted to share! 🥰

augh this is so old i'm sorry!!! but god yes i have MANY thoughts on that night.

below the cut for some rambling nonsensical (very shippy!!) thoughts about it!

so ok. it's long been my headcanon that the night of the natty would be when they first hook up, after a longgggg season of tension and hidden glances and awkward not quite flirting. like basically it would have been building for a long time whether either of them are really aware of it or not (and i doubt they'd be all that aware of it! focus on the football ya know? not on these funny feelings that i'm sure are very normal! that constant elation and adrenaline they feel around each other is just all the winning and record-breaking plays! in fact! winning and their feelings for each other are kind of completely intertwined so how can they even /start/ unpacking all that??)

so anyway! as we all know, joe gives ja'marr the game ball that night. we still don't know the EXACT circumstances (did he plan to, was it a spur of the moment thing, did ja'marr ask for it?? etc etc). we do know ja'marr joked later about not giving it back to joe lol, but i do think that WAS a joke actually. so like, obviously the whole team went out and partied/celebrated and didn't get back to the hotel until probably early in the morning, all drunk on booze and victory and each other! joe and ja'marr would have gone back to their separate rooms and ja'marr would see the game ball just sitting there where he left it on his bed before they all went out. and he can't stop thinking about the soft look on joe's face as he gave it to him. how amazing they were together that night. how it (for all he knows!) is the last time they would ever play together. and suddenly he decides that he needs to go see joe right then and there (to give the game ball back, of course, no other reason 🙂)

so he'd go knock on joe's door (who is still too pumped up on the events of the night to have fallen asleep, but he'd definitely still answer to door shirtless 🙂) and they'd just stare at each other for a moment, then joe would invite ja'marr in (because he's a gentleman) and ja'marr would try to give the ball back (because as much as he was bragging and being goofy about it before, he can't believe that joe would really be serious about ja'marr wanting to keep it. i mean. it's the GAME BALL. joe earned it, joe wanted it!)

and joe would get this serious look on his face and refuse and say that he gave it to ja'marr, that ja'marr deserves it for that game and for everything that season. everything he did for and meant to joe. (and of course what he would REALLY mean is that the ball is 10000% a symbol of his heart and his love and it all belongs to ja'marr, and it has for some time now! but obviously he can't say that because he is a Strong Stoic Football guy and probably still doesn't even realize what he means as he says it)

but i think ja'marr would understand anyway (because he has slightly higher EQ) he would get what joe meant. what everything has been building up to all season long, what joe means to him, what it's going to be like to be without him next year. and they're just looking at each other and they're drunk and vulnerable and neither one knows who makes the first move but they're suddenly making out and ja'marr drops the game ball and they don't even think about finding it until the next morning (because they are otherwise occupied 🙂)

but then the next morning! angst! because they're two dumb college kids who grew up in toxic masculine sports culture and they can NOT deal with what happened (no matter how much they 100% both enjoyed it). ja'marr would rush out of the room the next morning (NOT taking the game ball) and joe would see him trying to sneak out. they'd lock eyes for a moment and not say a word, ja'marr would leave and that would be that. but later that day, ja'marr would find the game ball back in his room. (i dont know HOW but listen joe was a god to the city of nola that day, he could probably convince the hotel staff or something. don't worry about it.) and ja'marr would see it sitting on his bed again and he'd be hungover and tired and freaking out and he would absolutely cry about it a little bit. because he's a huge cry baby and going through a lot 💔

but yeah, things would be awkward for joe and ja'marr during all the celebratory ceremonies, and then joe would graduate and go on to the draft, and ja'marr would stay in nola. and they wouldn't keep in touch at all besides a few texts in various group chats. maybe check in with each other once or twice to see how each other is dealing with like, the pandemic (hey 2020!), ja'marr might text joe congrats on being drafted number 1....and that's it!

UNTIL joe gets hurt his first season, ja'marr's sitting out his season at home in nola, and he reaches out to check on him. it's been long enough that they can both pretend they forgot about it, and they catch up a little bit. they're both lonely as joe recovers and ja'marr isn't playing, so they'd get to talking more and more. ESPECIALLY when it becomes obvious how well positioned cincy is going to be in the draft, and how high ja'marr is going to be drafted. which is when they start making plans that sound like fantasy at first but become more and more realistic, of actually playing together again! (which is how we get to joe texting ja'marr the morning of the draft telling him to have his bags packed 🥲)

of course it's awkward when they first see each other in person again. they barely think of that natty night anymore (except that they do all the time, but they're good at repressing and compartmentalizing! they're athletes!) but when they see each other in person it's hard not to remember everything that happened that night. but hey! they push past it, assume the other one isn't thinking the same things, and try to get that chemistry back (which does actually take awhile, as we all know! probably because of all the emotional baggage!) and then fast forward to their first game together in the pros (against the vikings!! with justin there!! fate fate fate!!!) and it goes so well and ja'marr gets that amazing TD that's just like all the ones they got together at LSU....and uhhh yeah. let's just say they celebrate that night too 🥲

[skekthesilly]

heres why i dont think i can read objectified: a silly little story by me

okay. so basically

objectified has a lot of content, from what i can tell! thats really fucking awesome. that gets me super excited

objectified also has body horror? also gets me really fucking excited because i loooove love love body horror

also monster objects/objects with animal features???? yes pleade. gets me sooo so excited

PARASITES?????????? FUCK YEAH. EXCITEMENT INCREASES EVEN MORE

literally EVERYTHING that objectified has gets me excited. its sooo so so cool. so why can't i read it?

because it gets me too excited!! tee hee

"ermmm skek what do you mean too excited isnt getting excited a good thing"

ahahaha wrong

you see when i get excited its this feedback loop in my head of

YIPPEE!!!! -> YIPPEE!!!! v

^ YIPPEE!!!! <- YIPPEE!!!!

and it loops. over and over and over and over again. and every time it loops the excitement gets bigger and bigger and bigger. my mind is a particle accelerator of excitement and it wants every excuse to start accelerating

and when i get too excited it does NOT FEEL GOOD.

my heart rate starts increasing like nuts and i start feeling sick and it gets really hard to breathe!!!!!!!!!!! and it is really not fun

and do you know what happens after???

i feel like i want to vomit!!!!!! hooray!!!!!

like i genuinely dont have a good healthy proper output for all of my excitement because either i want to start running around (last time i did that i stepped on something that pierced straight thru my foot and it was bleeding like fuck... also id have to have an awkward conversation with my mom on why im running around and explain to her object shows) or punch the walls and scream (i think you can tell why i cant be doing that either) and shaking my arms around like a silly little goober does not help

so like it basically goes like this:

"i should read objectified"

"ohohoho yes YES i should read objectified theres so much cool stuff"

"yes YES IM GONNA DO IT IM GONNA READ OBJECTIFIED"

"oh FUCK oh god this is not a good feeling oh GOD WAIT STOP STOP GETTING EXCITED"

"AUGH AUUUGGHHH AUGGGGGHHHHHHH FUUUUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK AUUUGHHH AUUUGGH FUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK STOP STOP STOP AUUGGGHH AUUUGHHHH STOP AAAUAUUUGGGGHHHHHHH"

*COUGHING INTENSIFIES*

*THIS IS THE PART WHERE I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA VOMIT*

and i fear that if i read objectified i will unironically explode. like into guts n shit. like i will actually have a fucking seizure or go into cardiac arrest and die.

like every time i even THINK about objectified the shit above happens. EVERY SINGLE TIME. im not even exaggerating the exact shit happens every single time. so imagine what would happen if i read it

this applies to tfmi as well

so yeah!! fun stuff :)

[zahai]

pl lease

mushishi is probably up there as one of my favourite anime ever (and maybe even just media in general) and i finally decided to try and do fanart for it. it’s a bit rough but i’m proud of how it looks!

[definitelynotshouting]

re: that last ask i LOVED seeing grian saying “do you have to?” and mumbo answering “actually, yeah, kinda” bc it’s so innocuous unless you know what he’s planning AND how little grian’s been reaching out. plus it touches on that thing you’ve mentioned before of like. this is a bad situation for everyone, nobody is trained for this and nobody is operating at 100% capacity rn.

also not to be all pepe silvia but mumbo’s willful ignorance thing kinda reminds me of in that s7 (i think) oneshot where mumbo mentions grian’s wings being completely unfamiliar. like what you said about scar and pearl knowing more about this than he does, mumbo has very little context here. he’s working off of outdated cues and lands on “okay yeah my friend is in a bad spot but he’s getting better because he has to. and he always has before.”

AUGH. anyway. <3 -📞

previous ask in question

YES YES that is actually EXACTLY what that side fic was meant to show!!! The fact that he KNOWS something is wrong but is willing to let it slide and sort itself out under the hood is a character trait i find fascinating to explore in him!!! And tbh, writing it has been a very quiet set-up to this chapter the entire time. I just really wanted to shed light on his inner thought process for similar situations and show precedence for this specific behavior-- Mumbo shies away from prying and getting heavily involved with emotional situations!!! And sometimes this can be good, and initially protected Grian's privacy while he got used to freedom again when he first joined hermitcraft.... and then sometimes-- like right now-- it can be very, very bad for the entire situation. I just think its a neat interpretation to run with and run with it i certainly have :]

OUGH im so glad that little line of Grian's paid off so well-- it makes me so so happy that it seems to have hit in the exact way i wanted it to 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 im really enthusiastic that everyone has had so many feelings about it!!! Ohhh Grian..... your issues<3 thanks phone anon, im really happy you liked the chapter!! :DDD

[certifiedgoofball]

so i finally watched the devil's chord and i. AUGH!!!! UEUHGH!!!!!!! i watched space babies a couple days ago and it was good ofc but i felt like it was missing something but devil's chord was literally fucking PERFECT. it was scary and emotional and silly and weird all at the same time and i almost cried and i got so many goosebumps and i just AAHH!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE EP UNDER THE CUT. GIANT RANT. I AM AUTISM.

i already have a giant bias towards the episode cuz one of my longest interests has been music and instruments but oh my fucking GOD the way they talked about music and hearing classical songs that i knew almost sent me to tears IM NOT JOKING. ruby playing the piano was so awesome and hearing saint saen's danse macabre made me feel like i was going to ascend into the heavens. putting doctor who and classical music, two of my biggest interests, together, was the best thing imaginable. I LITERALLY CANT DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS EPISODE MAKES ME.

SECONDLY, I LOVED MAESTRO. like the toymaker (who i also adore so SO incredibly much), they have this silly evilness to them that makes them so INTERESTING!!! and then finding out maestro is the child of the toymaker was EVERYTHING. BECAUSE IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. jinkx monsoon, the person that plays maestro, says some stuff about them that explains why i love them so much. "When human rules don't apply to you, you get to do whatever you want. You don't have to worry about whether your emotions make sense to people because you don't have to answer to them." and "What I love about Maestro is that, while objectively evil, they are an artist, they have a mission statement. " THESE ARE THE EXACT REASONS I LOVE THE TOYMAKER AND MAESTRO SO MUCH. both of them are other-worldly beings. they're gods of their own realms. they're dramatic and passionate and so dead-set on getting what they want. but its not just about getting what they want, its about having fun with it and turning it into a show. because what's the point in going out if you cant go out with a BANG?

something else i loved was the doctor in this episode. ncuti gatwa's doctor, like david tennant's, is so extremely emotional and passionate and it makes me want to SOB. the doctor mentioning his granddaughter? TEARS IN MY EYES. "i can only smile like this because ive lost so much" SOBBING ON THE FLOOR. the 15th doctor has already been so emotional and i know im gonna cry so so much while he's around. BUT THATS SOMETHING I LOVE ABOUT DOCTOR WHO. because it can be so silly and weird and funny and then it can turn around and be spine-chilling and emotional ALL IN THE SAME EPISODE. because when you think about it, the story of the doctor is HEARTBREAKING. and when that side of him comes out you HAVE to expect the waterworks.

AND THEN RUBY THE ENTIRE EPISODE ???? i know theres something up with her and i just OH MY GOD!!! BECAUSE THE SNOW??? THIS EPISODE AND LAST EPISODE? AND THE SOUND OF CHRISTMAS?????? im gnawing on the bars of my enclosure I NEED TO KNOW. shes so interesting I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT because its like who's her mom?? whys she able to do the snow thing?? how did she have a song in her ????? AND MAESTRO SAYING THINGS LIKE "no he couldnt be there" "the old one couldn't've been there" WHO IS THAT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.

IM GOING INSANE. IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I COULD EXPLODE INTO A MILLION PIECES.

[candyskiez]

teru and shigeo (???%) for the duo bingo

As you can see I have a normal amount of thoughts and feelings about them.

(romantically ad platonically are because I love their dynamic either way)

God. God. What do I even say about them I haven't already said. Actually I don't think I've said much publicly I usually scream in my friends dms. Hold on. I can talk so much about this.

It's the. God. Okay. God I wish the ???% and Mob seen was kept in full in the anime because like. So much of the shit he says to Mob/himself/you know. Hand waves. Weird self shenanigans. We're going w the system read for this tho. It's so fucking Teru? It's so fucking Teru??? The "there's nobody I can trust nobody here so why don't I just do whatever the fuck I want, none of these people matter, it's all pointless, I deserve BETTER." The. The parallels. The rage. The angry confusing feelings the why have YOU decided we're friends the fact they're the SAME and they both hate it at that low point, they hate seeing themselves reflected and they feel like the worst person in the world so they NEED the other to attack them and hurt them so they don't feel like they're the one in the wrong. The resentment. The. Oh my god. There is no way to make me shut up about them.

God. Post canon. What does ???% even do now. He was wrong. He did the exact thing he hated Teru for doing. He has no idea if he regrets it because Teru did it FIRST. Why does he have to be the good person here. Why can't he stay mad. Do you ever think about. Do you ever think about the fucking. Gestures wildly. Everything. Hello. And the. The. God what do I even say. Everything about post canon is so fascinating. Why does nobody explore the messy shit. Why is everyone insistent on making it Just Fluff. Like I love the fluff too but why can't you talk about the messy shit without being stabbed. It's weird man. I find the messy parts so interesting yk. I want to see them! And I want to see how do you even GO ABOUT fixing a slight that bad. Y'know. Y'know. Breaks a wall.

Me and a friend (if ur reading this, hi!) talk so much about aus with them. Like. What way can you make them NOT interesting. Like aus where they're friends before character development are so so interesting to mess with. What's up there. You remind me of myself and I don't think that's a good thing. You understand me and I've wanted that more than anything else and I think I'm going to ruin this. Like. HRHRHDHDH. Gnaws on a wall. You are just like me and I didn't realize how fucking selfish I could be until I saw how you are. Vs I know you and I know why you did it and you make sense and. Shakes them. Shakes them!!!!! They would be SO INTERESTING as being close in some way whatever you want to interpret them as. They're everything. I want to put them in a terrarium and study them. Like them meeting each other before canon and being friends and their development Changing because of that. Do you get it. Do you get it. It's complicated! It's weird! Aaaagh!!! AUGH. Augh