#this is why you can't be good at your job ppl!! because u just get rewarded with MORE JOB

[heich0e]

this may come as a surprise to u since i've been posting about how bad i wanna fuck the todoroki brothers for the past three days, but i've been working ALL WEEKEND towards a monday deadline on a project that got incredibly fucked up by other ppl and dropped into my lap last minute but i JUST FINISHED IT IM SO HAPPY!!!!

[reverieaa]

i personal feel that this the problem a lot us are probably facing and thinking. i feel this is a topic to be discussed rather than saying "you have it now, the 4D is the only thing that matters, 3D is a reflection... blah blah blah". we should also consider the people who's struggling and suffering from serious mental health issues even though they know the LAW OF ASSUMPTION.

let's say they want to manifest good grade and their test is tomorrow they have nothing prepared so they just 'try' to manifest, claim it and sustain in that assumption and the next day they go to school with full hope and they doesn't know a single thing in that paper and yep they get a bad grade and get discouraged. i know i know, you be like circumstances don't matter it's because that is what you assume. if they were so passionate and hopeful about that why did they get a bad grade? many of them haven't even manifested a thing so far they get easily discouraged and give up. then they be like "let me revise it" and nothing is happening again, this shit is going on loop.

WE NEED TO STOP THIS SHIT!

the blogs and stuffs say that the 4D is real and the 3D is not important it's just a reflection. let's say your bills are due in an hour or so days and you gonna pay the 4D money? hell nah. what's the point of having it in the 4D if you're homeless and your stomach is empty. you say manifestation is instant, if it is so why isn't my assumptions not hardened into facts? we assume a lot of things and not seeing them get real pisses us off.

now let's take an example, i want a complete 360 turn of my entire life like nothing is same as before. i want to be in a different country, have different name, have different job, have different appearance, have different personalities, have different friends, have different family ...... everything is just different. and then I assume like "okay, I'm going to count to ten and when it reaches one when i open my eyes my reality is completely changed" (assumed) and then i do that and nothing changed and i gave up.

this is what is happening for a lot of us and it's even harder when they're a beginner to concious manifesting or haven't consciously manifested anything before on will.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THIS THE CASE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH? WHAT WILL BE YOUR PIECE OF ADVICE.

if i make rules and if I assume that thing it's going to be like that why isn't it changing?

Idk about you, but I'm pretty satisfied with the answer.

Ppl seem to often misunderstand the "you make the rules" quote a lot bc the idea that they are in control of everything fules ego.

" I want to move this moutian, and if I assume it'll move, it will" does nothing if self hasn't changed. You can't change an outer reality when there is no "outer", it's yourself that you need to change and seeing your mental problems as an obstacle for your dreams ect makes things worse for your mental health.

I understand that many may struggle bc of their mental health. But how is thinking the way you do any better? I think It'd help for a lot of you that instead of saying:

" I have this (mental problem) that means it's harder for me to manifest, therefore I either can't do it or it'll take me a long time" to

" I seem to struggle with (method/certian loa thing) bc I have this (problem), what can I do to make myself more comfortable?"

Even if you're not into loa, viewing everything you can do as limited bc of who you are and what you have can't be good for you.

No one is telling to you to "ignore the 3D" if you have bills to pay and you're manifesting being rich don't just quit your job, if you're hungry and your fridge is empty don't just sit there but go buy food, no one says these things will hold you back from your desires but you. The "things" u hate now is all a state and mentality itself, all in the 4D that's why it's no different than the 3D, you are always the inner self.

Do you want me to change the law? Bc I have no intentions in convincing you or saying sth special. Manifestation itself may be effortless but you need to put in effort in believing that, esp when you’ve lived your life as the opposite up until now.

Did you imagine moving a moutian, or did you imagine being the person who moved it?

The "things" you want changed are waiting for you to change.

[bl00dalchemist]

Since you're sick (ME TOO GET WELL IDIOT) Imma ask for ALL of the questions for Genshin :3c

SADISTIC MF (ilu get well soon too baby)

❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?

Childe.

At first the jokes about him being a fuckboy were absolutely funny but now i think they absolutely fucking suck and people have taken it as if it is canon AND I HATE IT.

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I normally dont check too much into theories bc honestly they just carry the same ones and in a very good way, so i actually can't think of one rn sorry JFJFBF

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

Haikaveh, if i wanted to watch a hysterical blonde and a stoic mf bicker, i'd go watch a white couple fight.

But fr i dont like it bc they always fuck up their personalities so absolutely bad it makes me go ewww, also they reduced kaveh to being alhaitham's stupid friend who can't do shit right and its just?? Ewww x2

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Tough one bc I don't like to say 'WELL EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT THIS BUT AM RIGHT' bc everyone has their headcanons BUT- I really hate the way some people treat Dottore as if he was just a boyfailure who sets trashcans on fire bc he cant get his phd.

The man is a damn evil genius, even arlecchino would have thrown hands with him if he weren't also a harbinger NFJBGN

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

I was going to pick one of the girls but that might be biased since am a fucking homosexual so i will say Zhongli! Atm the guy's just some man going around working in funerals and correcting historians about rex lapis NFKFJ not that hot sorry.

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

Cyno???

The slutty little shorts, he goes around shirtless, he's got a spirit inside him??? HOTTIE

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad/good as everyone else seems to think?

I will merge this one and the next one bc its the same character so here we go.

Ppl always go one way or another with childe, like, come on!

They either turn him into a horny stupid dumbass or an edgelord and am honestly very tired bc the man is so morally gray most of the time! He released a beast on liyue to bring rex lapis out, but not because he's the devil, he just wanted rex lapis to come out but turns out ppl were actually able to protect themselves! terrible job supershit!

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

That people satanize it too much!

"it pushes gambling addiction!" So does every gacha out there, the point of a game made by a big company is to make money, but guess what! You can play totally for free if YOU JUST PLAY THE DAMN GAME INSTEAD OF EXPECTING EVERYTHING TO BE GIVEN TO YOU!

And if u dont want to play and think its fucking predatory and its bad for you: delete your fucking account or sell it so you can't go back. Seek help even.

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

I don't think theres a major character outside the twins and dainsleif so i will say i just think sethos is pretty but so unnecessary lmao

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Arlecchino/Furina or Wriothesley/Lyney.

🏳️‍🌈: Which character who is commonly headcanoned as queer doesn't seem queer to you?

The queer circle is so absolutely wide that i dont actually think theres a single cis/straight bitch in this game ngl.

💀: If you had to choose one major character to die, who would you choose?

One of the main siblings, wouldn't it be absolutely fucking painful???

[yourlocaltrashpandaa]

This oneshot was originally posted on my second wattpad account and I wanna post them here instead because I know ppl will see them

++============++

Morning After

++============++

Genshin Impact one-shot

{kaeya & childe x fem!reader}

CW: suggestive themes {18+ minors dni}

++

Y/n rolled over in the bed onto her stomach, her naked legs felt sore when she flinched slightly as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning, my love. How are you?" A voice said.

Y/n turned up to the person was next to her on the bed. Seeing tanned skin of a naked torso in her eye view, she squinted slightly since she just woke up. Y/n rubbed her face into the pillow than looked back at the person next to her and came to realize who it was.

'Wait! I know those abs!' She thought with widened eyes.

"Kaeya..." She muttered softly.

Kaeya chuckled, which made the young woman blush. I mean it always did ever since she met this man, his laugh was what made her fall for him in the first place but over time she loved everything.

"By the way, you were great last night, hon." Kaeya said making Y/n flush in embarrassment, kissing her cheek as well as slipping his hand under the covers to hold her waist.

"Shut up... you're so embarrassing." Y/n said, turning away from him.

Kaeya smirked. "And you're cute," She felt his hand slip to her ass, giving it a tight squeezing it. "Feel like another round?"

"Hell no and hey watch those hands or you'll have a hook to match that eyepatch, mister." Y/n said.

"Wow, ice cold, milady." Kaeya said.

Y/n sighed. Sometimes with Kaeya's nature it makes her forget why she love this man but she remembered she does. Y/n turned over to lay on her back, removing Kaeya's hand as she did so.

Y/n looked over to the other side, she scowled seeing the other person in the bed with her and her boyfriend, Kaeya.

"Childe? I'd thought you'd be at work by now." She said to ginger-haired male.

"Sorry to disappoint you, girly." Childe said softly leaning back on a pillow.

"I'm not. It's just unexpected," Y/n said crawling over to his side of the bed and sat up to hug his arm. "I'm happy."

Childe being Y/n's other boyfriend was an accident, it was mostly Kaeya's fault. Childe was a friend of Kaeya's that's how the two of them meet. Childe fell for Y/n and Kaeya noticed this which he brought up the thought of a poly relationship which Childe agreed with as well as both Y/n and Kaeya so that's how the three got together.

Childe and Kaeya's relationship started of pretty rocky because of jealousy until they were alone together in the house they shared with Y/n and had sex together so this is how it's been for almost a year. Y/n, her boyfriend, Kaeya and his boyfriend, Childe who is also Y/n's boyfriend. Basic stuff here

Childe smiled hearing Y/n's comment, kissing her forehead. "Good, I'm glad," He said. "That Kaeya can't have you all to himself." Childe said with a playful glare towards Kaeya.

"Oh. Is that so?" Kaeya asked smirking at Childe crawling over towards the two, wrapping his arm around your waist again.

"U-Um, guys I thought you two were over this whole jealousy things." Y/n said feeling squished by her two partners.

"Oops, sorry love. Old habits die hard, right babe?" Kaeya said smirking at Childe.

"Yeah." Childe said, leaning in and kissed Kaeya on the lips.

"Hello, you both are squishing me!" Y/n exclaimed.

"Sorry, N/n." Childe said pulling away from both her and Kaeya getting up from the bed.

"Aww, you're leaving!" Y/n whined a bit.

Childe laughed a bit as he pulled on some boxers. "Sorry, but you know I have too." He said.

"Whatever, they overwork you sometimes and sometimes you never come home until 3 days later." Y/n said getting up from the bed to hug him from behind, press her chest against his bare back

"I know but it's part of my job. I'm sorry, N/n." He said.

"Fine, can I at least join you in the shower?" Y/n asked.

Childe smirked. "Sure." Turning around in Y/n's arms to kiss her on the lips. She giggled as she and Childe rushed to the bathroom.

"Kaeya join us!" Y/n yelled.

Kaeya smirked getting up from the bed to join them in the bathroom. "Okay, just no funny business." He said.

"Says you." Y/n said.

[daemonskitty]

I don't get why all those ppl (men-boys) are complaining; "oh that Barbie movie hates men". Like dude do u check out the goddamn news? Do u ever walk out of your house? Society put so much pressure on us women and if you wanna know at least half of that go watch Gloria's speech in the movie, 'cause there's a lot more than just that.

It's not an anti men movie, it's about the unfair advantage that just by being a man you get out there while a woman, who does the exact same job, gets less and can even be judged or suffer prejudice with things like "oh this isn't for you, it's a man job" while it's not!!

Everyone deserves equality, same for both sides and not just one. I'm sorry you felt offended, but think a little, a woman feels comfortable in her body, it's judged by it, a woman gives her best to make people like her body even if she hates herself for it, she's judged by it. Yeah, society ain't the most fair to men either, like you have to be a man, you can't be weak or show your true feelings or wear makeup or a smaller shirt 'cause "that's too gay" (btw if you're a gay person reading this, I love you) while it's not you're just tryna feel good, I get it, but it's not because it's hard for you that's not hard for women, you gotta admit you get privilege sometimes, may not be always, but you do, so give your mom, sister, grandma+ a hug and to you father, brother, grandpa+ too. Go out wearing what you want to and kiss the same gender if you want, or the opposite too. Be yourself, but don't act like it's unfair to you while the movie clearly shows at least some reality.

It's more than okay to be who you are, don't feel ashamed for that or make others feel ashamed for who they are. Give yourself some love and to the others too. Be fair to yourself and with everyone around you. Hope you're all having a great day!! 🩷💜💙

[elizabethsaige]

i'm speaking as someone who grew up in an extremely bigoted family with the most fucked up political opinions either. my family fucking supports a dictator who killed hundreds of thousands of people and voted for his son who denies the atrocity as the president. how old was i when i got educated on the right side of history? 21 years old when i first joined twitter. if you're not someone who grew up in that kind of environment, you have no rights to say how easy and simple it is to seek out content because it fucking isn't. if you've been indoctrinated with propaganda and wrong beliefs since you were born, the "right content" will all just be lies to you because the wrong history has been ingrained in your mind all along but ofc you wouldn't understand because you've always been right since the day you were born right? again speaking as someone who ACTUALLY experienced it and not just saying shit like you. if you're someone who got educated at an early age, then good for you what a fucking privilege do you want an award or smth do you feel like a smart, morally righteous person now? you're acting like there's an age limit in learning. i can't imagine being 24 and still be That close-minded.

he was actually added to a gc twice. the first one was when someone asks him if he supports genocide and he replied with "of course not" and the people in the gc proceeded to insult him until he left. the person who asked him tried to educate him and he replied. he didn't ignore shit because they didn't insult him at first. the 2nd time he was added was when everyone was just telling him to kill himself and that hamas should put him in a blender and he left. no one even tried to educate him. so no, i don't think he will completely ignore it if people genuinely just tried to educate him but ofc insulting someone is way easier than educating them right?

"do you really think that he would listen to people who are trying to take him out of his ignorant mindset?" not the flowery words lmao "people who are trying to him out of his ignorant mindset" you could just say people trying to bully him and i would take u more seriously. literally no one is tring to educate him and unlearn his zionist mindset because all he gets are insults, death threats, homophobic slurs, ppl writing essays about how he will never get a job which is unproductive and does nothing. in what way is that "educating"?. He will not listen to people trying to take him out of his ignorant mindset because literally no one is doing that bffr

you genuinely have no idea what kind of background I come from or what ive been through, so why are you acting like you're the only one here who has had to unlearn the ignorant things you experienced? quite frankly, it's none of your business what kind of environment I grew up in and what I've had to unlearn, you seriously need to calm down and seek help.

and also, im so curious to know why you think that arguing with me is going to do about this situation? im really flattered that you think that I am the representative of everyone who is saying anything even remotely anti noah schnapp, do you really think that you saying all of this to me is going to get other people to stop what they're saying to him? because I've not once said anything about harming him in any way, yet you seem to think that everyone who disagrees with his actions are all the same...pls make it make sense because love, you're really sounding insane

[5tar9litter]

Things my mom said multiple times:

Partying:

“I don’t know why I don’t like it. I should like drinking and gambling. I should like talking to those thai girls even if they are hella rude. I should leave all of my kids alone at home while I go party past 12 at midnight. I guess I’m just weird like what they said. I don’t like talking to those people. They are so annoying, always boasting about how much money they make and then wasting it all away in the casino! Why don’t I like them? Why do I hate it so much??”

She’s said this exact topic at least 60 times this year of 2023. And I’d explain it’s because they are horrible ppl and it’s okay to have different hobbies from others. At least you are saving money, avoiding health risks, and just go find better ppl to be with. Plus I am the same way. I hate those ppl with the same passion but I just found better people who doesn't do those type of things.

Then she’d forget what I just said and start the same exact paragraph by next week or month.

And I start to interrupt when she is talking now because it’s annoying having them ask dumb ass questions esp if you just consulted them like 45x’s now. It’s just a waste of time and I noticed I’ve been either telling her she and I already talked about this or changing the subject completely.

Food:

“I wish we ate more sweets. As a family, nobody in this family likes it. I buy so much cookies, sodas, pizzas, apple pies, cakes, and candy but nobody eats all of it?”

I’d explain, “it’s too sweet. And there’s so much too. You buy like 26 apple pies and expect 4 of your kids to eat all of it in a week?? No thanks.”

“But why can’t we be like an american family? Why can’t we just eat all of the sweets like that?”

“But that’s why all of Americans are dying from cardiovascular diseases, Mom. Sweets kill u if you eat a lot, duh. What r u trying to do, kill us?”

“Haha, you are right but look at how good it looks.”

“Gross. It’s too sweet. Why did you buy so much sweets from the store again? You know 19 years of my life, none of us like cakes and stuff like that.”

“*attempts to eat all 26 apple pies by herself and stops eating by the 3rd apple pies* yuck! it’s so sweet! Why can’t I finish all of it?”

“Facepalms**”

SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME AHHH. She knows we don't like sweets. Period. Yet she buys it all the time and always complains that we never eat it even though none of us wanted it. If we were like, "Mom can we buy these cupcakes?" then we don't eat all of it. Then that makes sense that she'd be mad. But she's actually encouraging us to eat unhealthy on a daily basis. Like do you know how much pizzas we've had delivered to house on the daily basis? 6 BOXES for 4 KIDS AHHHH

This behavior did start my brother's food addictions though. Because she would encourage us to eat all of this and they would finish all 5 or 6 boxes by themselves. Now my brothers are having heart problems and stomach issues. Bruh.

Family in laws:

"When you date or get married, you are gonna have to sacrifice your whole life to your man's parents. You have to clean and cook for them 24/7. You will become a slave to them. Dating is never fun. It's only miserable"

I just nod my head and act like I'm listening every time she says this.

My job

"You shouldn't go to college and get a job. Just open a business. I'll support you."

She doesn't even have enough money to buy me food. I have to work to pay for it. It's so annoying because my dad told me the same thing but he can't even pay the bills so he's always stressing out.

"You should start a Youtube channel."

I respond with, "No thank you. I hate filming stuff. I don't even post 1 picture on my other social media so what makes you think I wanna?"

"Just saying. It'd be a good start."

"Yeah yeah."

She brings up this same topic of me starting a Youtube channel another 30x.

"Why do you keep telling me this, Mom!?"

Usually, I end up getting really pissed off. I hate when I get mad at anybody including my mom but she has a weird habit of repeating herself.

She really wants me to fucking start a youtube channel. I did start one at some point but then I got busy with school or other things and it was really boring for me so I just stopped. But it annoys me that she doesn't understand that I don't like making youtube videos especially at the moment. In the future, I can see it happening but not now. She still keeps suggesting it.

Another thing that annoys me is that she always tell me that my job sucks.

It took me 6 months to get my job and I love it to death. Even if it's minimal pay: Around 16$/hr where I live.

My coworkers are so nice. My managers are so kind and patient with me. The customers are so good to me and they treat me like family. The job is easy and fun. Sometimes I get yelled at by customers because I work at retail and I need an ID from them in order for them to purchase the cigarettes. 97% of them are pretty compliant. So it's fast and easy and if they argue, my coworkers always back me up. They are so kind compared to my old job where I had no support. So, I am always happy to come to work because for someone in my position and history, especially with a tight schedule, this job is like paradise for me. So every time I have a small issue like customers being an idiot or me being hit on at work which is all the time, my mom would say my job sucks.

I call her out on it because at least I am working and you know, compared to my old job at Petco, it's actually really good for a college student. It's close by and easy and relaxes me even if there's small mishaps.

She says she just meant all of that work for 17/hr. I tell her, "For now, this is what I just gotta work with it. But it doesn't suck. I'm just really grateful I have a job.

Babies:

"Do not have babies when you are young." Valid.

Boyfriends

"No dating until you finish school and get a career."

"

Valid.

"You can only dress like that around your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only go watch movies or go out with your boyfriend when you get one."

"You can only get a house when you get a boyfriend."

"When you get a boyfriend, you'll have someone to hang out with all the time."

"WHY DO YOU WANT A BOYFRIEND SO MUCH I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO GOOD ABOUT HAVING ONE?!!?"

Mom, ever since I was young. You instilled this mindset that I need a boyfriend to have freedom in life. You won't even let me go out without a guy accompanying me and every guy I am just friends with you think I am dating him. AHH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS?

"OOoh, looks like you are ready for a boyfriend~" My mom would tease me all the time and at the same time she'd tell me, "No boyfriend! You are too young. Not until you are a doctor!"

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Casinos:

For 5 years, this is all she talks about. She hates it there with so much hatred that it's incomprehensible but she keeps coming back to work there. Her coworkers also got annoyed with how repetitive she can be and she's told me about this. They told her there's so much careers out there. Why does she keep coming back to the casino if she hates it so much then quits within 5 months??

This year in 2023. she just quit one casino and now she secretly applied to ANOTHER ONE this month in August and my dad found out and yelled at her. I remembered their argument. "YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOLD ME YOU'LL NEVER GO BACK AND YOU WENT AND APPLIED WITHOUT TELLING ME? YOU KNOW YOU ARE GONNA QUIT AGAIN. YOU DID THIS 5 TIMES ALREADY. WHY DON'T YOU LEARN? YOU CAN'T DO GRAVEYARD SHIFTS. YOU KNOW HOW SICK YOU GET WHEN DEALING PAST 3AM. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?!" I understand my mom wants to work again but doesn't know any other way to make lots of money with just a high school degree. But I agree this can't be healthy. When the other casino she applied see that she just quit 5 other major(popular) casinos within 3 years. They are gonna reject her applications because they know she likes to apply then quit after 5 months.

New business plans:

"I should buy those asian plants and sell it on facebook!"

I encourage her. She's been talking about this for a year now.

"I should cook food and sell it on facebook marketplace like those thai girls!"

I encourage her alot for this because I think she'd do well. She's been talking about this for 2 years now.

"I should work in another job that isn't the casino." *never does so*

"I wanna open an asian fast food shop with a drive through. I never seen one here in America."

I encourage her.

"I want to be a real estate agent. *Continues to explain how much money she'd make and swears she'll finish the classes to get the certificate.*"

This convinced me and my dad that she would actually do it. My dad is really hard to convince so I was surprised he let her. My dad said he'd support her until she gets a degree which is supposed to take 6 months only. She paid $1000, took the class for 5 months, then quit with no refunds.

She told me it's because the professor said she won't be able to become a millionaire until a year later because the economy is rocky right now so nobody's buying houses right now especially with the interest rates being so high for them.

I understood it but I told her like at least finish the last month and just take the exam. You get to cheat too like they do not care at all. Like just get the certificate and get it over with.

She explains she don't have the confidence to finish it. So she never finish the class or the exam. She ended up wasting $1000 even though I offered to cheat for her. ITS LITERALLY AN OPENED BOOK TEST. THE PROFESSOR LITERALLY TOLD HER THE ANSWERS FOR THE EXAM SO IT LITERALLY IS JUST FILLING IN THE BLANK.

After she did that, I've lost all hopes for her bro.

I don't encourage her to start a business because she's always quit or never make action. But you know what did she do? She bought this asian plant and gave it to some random mien woman to profit off of her for free :D R u fucking kidding me? Mom, why. That was your money right there. U bought that plant to make money on facebook but instead you gave it to some random asian lady. She was pretty disappointed in herself as well.

She always talk about: her Nightmares, hair loss, unhealthy eating, nutritional deficiencies, walking at the park, how much she hates my dad and how dirty the house is.

I don't really care and actually respond to her about it.

Things my dad always say:

"Always invest your money!"

"Just take easier classes."

Yeah sure let me just not graduate college by not taking my required Biology: Anatomy and physiology and statistics classes.

"You have to graduate with a bachelor!!"

Also refuses to support my education**

"You are gonna be a millionaire!"

"Why am I such a loser?" My dad always says that to himself.

He brags about me alot especially about how I won 2cd place on a contest and ended up being interviewed on tv.

I luv my parents but omg they are so dumb.

[iraprince]

hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

[saintobio]

Hi Saint! 👋 I hope you're doing good

Ok, blimey, SN was a rollercoaster of emotions but I absolutely loved it! You write amazingly!

My thoughts. Y/N has all the right to be p*ssed off with Gojo. She has all the right to separate and live her life. She's not obliged to stick around and "fix" Gojo. But, big BUT, she had no right to keep their son from him. Was Gojo an arsehole, heck yeh. But he was really trying after the first divorce incident and nanas death. He was stupid for the house thing and not just being honest when trying to fix their relationship. I think that Y/N is going to feel like absolute shite when she finds out that Gojo tried to unalive himself when he thought she got rid of the baby. And now the accident because he realised he was alive this whole time!

Gen and their dad, wasn't a great idea to support hiding the munchkin from Gojo. Yes protect your daughter and sister, but you're making her do some silly things.

Now saying all of that, I'm going to counter myself 😅 I can somewhat get why Y/N would have wanted to get as far away from Gojo. Especially holding on the beginning part of their marriage. Then to hear his stupidity at the end would have brought up the previous thoughts. As a woman, I may do the same to protect my child (maybe not exactly the same tbh... lol I still don't like that Y/N hid this from Gojo for 3 flaming years!). I can see she was trying to protect herself and her child, but it wasn't a great way imo.

In the same way, I get Gen and why she may have supported this. As an older sister, I'm a surrogate mother to my siblings and can be protective.

Right this was too long. I'm sorry 😅 don't even know if I made any sense whatsoever.

My main ask was going to be: may I get permission to write a mini one shot type scenario based on the last chapter? I was so wound up in my emotions after reading the last chapter, I had all sorts of thoughts and ideas that I'd like to jot down and share. But only with your permission! X

hahah it’s very conflicting right ?? i love how ur analysis on it tho :) and yess you may write a oneshot as long as i get tagged <33 looking forward to it !!

@hollowpurpl said

I'm not blaming y/n for keeping the baby then hiding it. Yes, it is true that my heart aches because satoru didn't get to cry in joy after the baby was born, but what matters is the munchkin is alive. It would burn me more if the lil munchkin died. Besides, it was the most selfish thing y/n has done in a while. I can't hate her. Her ex-husband was a selfish cheating asshole. I understand that satoru wanted to change but, he's not that deserving to have an expressway to happy ever after. It's just karma (or saint) doing its job.

For toji, i think he won't have the audacity to cheat on y/n because of gen and the kids like hello??? But i do think mc just reminds him of his wife, that's why he wants to marry her. (This shit hurts so much because im a toji fucker)

And im sorry for sending lots of asks. I just love sn so much i cried when i didn't get on the sincerely yours taglist.

Drink your water and eat veggies saint! Every sn reader is praying to u ❤️

Anonymous said

Y/n keeping munchkin from gojo makes so much sense to me. She just prioritised her child's health and happiness more than theirs IT WAS LITERALLY THE BEST THING TO DO IN THAT SITUATION AND PPL WHO HATE HER FOR DOING IT CLEARLY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT LIKE????? imagine a child growing up in the kind of negative publicity that surrounded gojo post the scandal... yeah no. she did the right thing definitely and I rlly hope she knows that :((

Anonymous said

I think some people forget that soulmates who don’t end up together can fall in love with someone else. Granted the connection won’t be as deep as with their twin flame, but it’s not impossible to love again. Tbh I don’t care if gojo x uhtamie happen, Toji x y/n or gojo x y/n. I just think it’s unfair that her hiding her pregnancy is going to hunt her ten fold. I really like that she didn’t hide from munchkin who her real daddy is though. Mad respect for that.

Anonymous said

Omg I’ve been dying to send an ask in! First off congratulations on sn1, it was amazing!! Okie, I’m sorry for all the upcoming grammar mistakes lmao, but I need to write it before I forget x.x Over the past few days I analyzed both y/n and gojo’s situation. I’ve seen how most people are upset with y/n for depriving Gojo 3 years of his sons life and thinking he “killed” his baby, and some agree that y/n made the right call faking the abortion. I was just shocked at how quick people switch sides instead of analyzing both parties. I remained neutral.

I do agree that her depriving him from the birth of his son and making him believe that he was at fault was wrong, but did the readers take a step back and think how his past consequences drove her to do it? It hurts that Gojo never got to tell his side of the story, and now with amnesia probably never will, but it also hurts knowing that y/n was treated horribly throughout most of their marriage. Yes, he had a lovely redemption arc, but the thing about Gojo and y/n is that although they’re soulmates, they’re badly flawed. He had this ideal dream family, but didn’t know the current y/n. Just bits and pieces. He was more familiar with the little girl he was best friends with, whom he made a promise too. Y/n suffered a lot the first few months in their marriage, which causes her to start having trust issues, and clearly those trust issues were still rooted just untouched. In my honest opinion, seeing as to how badly flawed they both are, if there was no divorce, munchkin would be the only thing that would tie them together. I’m sorry this was long :’) also hoped this made sense.

Also, I noticed something. You said the zenin family is y/nxToji, but everyone else is GojoxY/n. Does that mean Gen has forgiven Gojo? 😟

nooo gen hasn’t. i take back what i said. very few people in the snverse are rooting for gojoxyn 🥲

Anonymous said

imo, I think y/n had a good enough reason to hide munchkin from Satoru. BUT y/n should have told Satoru when she had the chance, when he came to see her.

Anonymous said

Yooooooooo I sad .

Because I don’t know who’s in the wrong in the SN finale ?? Like I get each of Y/N’s and Satoru’s feelings and mistakes and whatnot, but now at what cost? While I definitely believe Satoru is much to blame for actions to Y/N, his past and how he was brought up shaped him that way, yet he was able to change; and he’s even worse for wear?? And even now Y/N, who’s suffered so much and very much doesn’t owe Satoru anything (besides telling the truth of baby Gojo), will have to go through this again???

there’s really a huge divide among the readers bc some people understand yn’s pov (like u guys in this case) while some choose to side w gojo for good reasons. but all in all, thank u for sharing ur reactions <33 it allows me to understand how people are reading into the series and i’m glad that most of my readers are still looking at this story with depth

[fairycosmos]

chloe, congrats on getting a job!! i really hope you'll like there 💞 when is your first work day?

i'm having a job interview next week. do you have any tips on how to survive a job interview without being like a complety nervous wreck? and do you an idea how to explain the gaps in a resume lol

thank u lovely ur a peach 💞 it's on monday so im currently in a haze of trying to download all the right stuff and fill in all the forms since it's part working from home part in the office ughhhhhhhh

anyway 2 answer your question omg job interviews are the worst but i honestly see them as like, a bit or a chance to play a character or something lmfaoooo. idk if that's helpful to you but yeah i have found that pretending i'm someone else kinda helps with the momentary nerves. playing up all of your achievements/positive qualities, smiling, trying to make eye contact, trying to come across as someone who loves working - it's like embodying a role. you don't have to be anxious because it's just a corporate persona and not you-you, though of course you have to try to come across as genuine as possible despite the fact.

another big thing or perhaps the biggest thing is just being prepared. you've probably already done it, but if not i really recommend looking up general interview questions and then planning out your answers to them in advance. even in bullet points so they're easy to remember. word your responses professionally and use positive vocab. this saved my life on a few different occasions, seems like knowing what to say and how to say it is half the battle tbh. take deep breaths beforehand and repeat kind affirmations to yourself if you get overwhelmed to put yourself in a better headspace. you are genuinely capable and you genuinely have a lot to offer and if that comes through in the interview, that's what matters.

about resume gaps - you can really use the pandemic to help explain them honestly, a lot of ppl have been without work and employers know that. and they might not even focus on it as much as you think they're going to. but i guess my main tip for that is to be diplomatic ab it. like, explain why you think this position is a great way to get back into working so it turns into a positive rather than a negative. if you've done any volunteering or anything at all that has expanded your skillset while unemployed, really try to impress that upon them. if you emphasize that you've still been very motivated and work-driven while looking for a job (even if you haven't lol) then i think you'll be alright. put a nice spin on it to make it look like it was your choice while you were preparing for the career you really want i.e the position you're interviewing for.

i also think it's important to treat it like a conversation more than an interview, too. you're seeing if they're decent employers just as much as they're seeing if you're a decent candidate. so i try to tell myself, alright. it's a 10-20 minute talk and then i'm out of here and if i don't get the job i never have to see these ppl again anyway and life goes on so i'm not going to torture myself over it either way. you know? i feel like this is total word salad because i can't organize my thoughts rn lol but good luck!!!💞💞 if they don't end up hiring you i wanna stress this: try not to take it personally. even though ik it's really hard and i still take it personally every time it happens lol but the reality is they're prob seeing tons of applicants and it's mostly about timing and luck rather than anything to do with you. im rooting for you!! 💞 promise it's not going to be as bad as you think, the build-up is always worse than the actual thing. sending u love and manifesting the job offer!! 💞

[chasseuses]

reasons why i love jade leech pt.2

so i guess I'm doing this again.

this is more of a repeat of everything I said in part one but with more sobbing and coherent words.

Jade Leech, Octavinelle's vice dorm leader and the twin brother of Floyd. Many might say that Jade is better than Floyd, although that may seem true to people who don't know him well enough, some people were smart enough to know that Jade was just as bad.

Despite being so fucking shady and nasty, I couldn't help but slowly learn how to love his character. His shadiness is only a part of his charm ❤️ I mean— don't you want that? Don't you just want to look at him and wonder what the fuck is going through his mind right now?

He could be either plotting murder or thinking about tonight's dinner and I would still find his shady expression 🥺 oddly attractive to say the least. I'm being weirdly serious here and typing in lowercase so in a few bullets, expect me to go feral once again.

His eyes are gorgeous. I don't know about you but I get mesmerized everytime I look at them, I swear I could drown in them and never want air ever again. His mismatched eyes,, absolutely beautiful sir please shock my heart eheheh 👉👈 haha jk !!! he doesn't have to use his unique magic to shock my heart bfjfkfjfkfjkffk

His smile is breathtaking, my sun— my light in this dark world of mine. Even if his smile is practiced and insincere, I can't help but go crazy over it. Imagine if he smiled genuinely, no restraints at all as he let out a hearty laugh and a genuine smile took over his expression. I would cry on the spot, I am cryimyfjrkfjkffk.

GOF HELP ME I CAN'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE ANYMORE IM GOING IN CAPSLOCK!!!

I HATE HOW JADE CAN GO FROM HIS USUAL GENTLEMANLY FACE EXPRESSION BUT SUDDENLY SHOOTS YOU A FUCKING SMUG GRIN WHICH SHOWS OFF HIS SHARP TEETH AND SAYS HIS USUAL "Fufu~" LINE LIKE PLEASE 🗿 SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT!!

SPEAKING OF TEETH, MAN I REALLY AM CURIOUS AS TO HOW SHARP THEY ARE. A PART OF ME WANTS TO SHOVE MY HAND INTO HIS MOUTH AND JUST TOUCH THOSE TEETH AND SEE HOW SHARP THEY ARE 🤡 haha imagine if he suddenly bit down tho hahshhhshsdrijfrknfkrgntknffknflfnflffnkfnfkjfkdjfofjddlifjf ok I'll shut up.

I don't think I mentioned it here (i already did) but I am telling you that the idea of someone as composed and reserved as Jade starts pining, IT'S GUARANTEED TO BE SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE 🗿 OH GOD THE THOUGHT OF JADE PINING?? ABSOLUTELY *CHEFS KISS* MAN THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE IF YOU SEE ANY PINING JADE PLEASE TAG ME I WILL START CRYIMG

Oh my god. Have I told you how beautiful Jade's lips are? Please please please please look at them they look so nice ahahahha so irresistible and kissable UEEEEEEEEEE

The way his lips are like that 🗿his fucking smile/smirk. GOD GIEV EME THE ABILITY TO KITH THIS MAN JUST ONCE PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M FUCKING CRYING.

Oh my gOD THE WAY HE LOOKS AT MUSHROOMS... THE SOFTEST GAZE... SOMEONE LIKE HE... IS CAPABLE OF HAVING SUCH A SOFT EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.... PLEASE I WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM IF IT MEANT BEING LOOKED AT BY JADE LIKE THAT.

HE COULD FUCKING SPIT ON ME AND I'D THANK HIM.

I'm ashamed to admit that the earliest reason why I liked Jade Leech was because of his hands. Please forgive me, Lilia-sama. I cannot help but get attracted to such beautiful hands- it was if it was sculpted by the god of sculpting himself! It's such a shame that his gloves cover up its blinding beauty- though my eyes can see through the deceit, I know that his fingers are glorious beneath that piece of cloth. My one and only wish in life is to be able to hold his hand- without the gloves, and that's all for my confession.

^^^^^ I FOUND THAT IN MY DRAFTS

I'M SORRY BUT I JUST REALLY LIKE HIS HANDS OK. LIKE 😳 haha...!! what if we held hands,, without the gloves 😳 haha jk...! unless ...?9£4(_8 UE UE UE UE UE MR. LEECH LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND PLEASE I'M GONNA BEG

UEEEEEEEE I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WROTE SO MUCH LETTERS FOR THIS EEL I WISH I WAS KIDDING I HAVE LIKE 12 RIGHT NOW GOD I'M SUCH A FUCKING SIMP

st a rts sobbing

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

WHAT THE FUCKBSJDJDJJ??£?£(_(3(_((_(£(£+£; WHY IS HE SO CUTE INT HSI SCREENSHOT WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE THE WAY YOU'RE POUTING RIGHT NOW IS SO CUTE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME SQUEEZE YOU.

I'm fucking crying why the fuck is he so cute gof forbid this man from being so fuvking cute i cannot.

People be telling me: cute?? jade is terrifying.

and I go like: that's cute.

UE UE UE EU UEHFHRJFJJDJF HAVE U GUYS HEARD OF WHAT HE DOES TO PEOPLE HE BETRAY HIM???? I LITERALLY WENT 😳 "ahahahh mr leech i will personally betray you just to make you do that to me" you know. like a simp.

U know what I'm going back to lowercase

His extreme love for mushrooms is probably his comic relief so it doesn't completely make him seem like a shady bitch in the game- it's a surprise as to how cute and vulnerable he can get when he talks about or does something related to his precious fungi. It even goes as far as to make him completely lose his sense of surroundings, which is really rare for someone as observant as him- and usually dangerous sjfbjdbf. It's also EXTREMELY CUTE as to how they made Jade someone who really likes mountains- he even goes as far as to found his own club to appreciate them!!

He has pretty deft hands, being able to create a terrarium and care for it as a hobby is applaudable- not everyone has the ability to do just that, you'd have to be able to be extremely precise and careful, and add a little bit of extreme determination to the mix. He would probably smell like mud from all the time he spends in the greenhouse, and stays up late because of creating terrariums. It shows us that he isn't completely a shitty eel who collects dirt on people as his job and I think that's pretty fucking cute not gonna lie!

There was one voice line of him mentioning that he likes gazing at stars, which was completely unexpected for me! He didn't seem like the type to gaze up at the stars and just- watch! Though I expect him to be always alone whenever he does that- he isn't exactly the most approachable person in NRC, people tend to avoid the Leech twins because of Floyd- mostly. People are just scared of them and I don't think Jade has any friends aside from Azul and Floyd. And I don't think either of them would be willing to stay with him to do just that, Floyd's excuse would be because "it's boring~!" and Azul's would be "I have much more important things to do." And I think that's pretty fucking sad.

God please send me to their world I will watch the stars with him please i love him so much I'm—

BACK TO CAPSLOCK FJDJJEKFJKDJFKRNDKDJFKDFLDJRLFNFLDNFLDFNDLNDLDNFLFOFKDLDKDLDKDK

Look. No amount of words can actually describe my feelings for Jade Leech no words can do my love justice UE UE UE UE which is why I do the second best thing— keysmash.

Please please please I could give him the whole world and it wouldn't do my love for him justice 🗿 UE UE UE UEJFBRKFBTKNFRKFBFKFHJFHFDKHFKDBFKDHFKRBFRKBFRKBRKFBFKFNFKFJFKFJDKFK

I also uh, want him to step on me! Y',)!92+_)£_+ Y'know... He would stomp on my back and dig his heel into my back and probably hurl insults towards me 😳 man. I'd be hIS FUCKING DOORMAT IN A HEARTBEAT.

Omg this is getting long

The first part was much more 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 but I still do this anyways.

Anyways. Please stan Jade Leech I love him so much 💕

i would've included my brainrot but ppl would just go 🗿 "taku you really are a jade simp huh" and NO I DON'T WANT THATTTTTTTTT

[ot3]

dont take me wrong i saw the twt situation and absolutely dont want to frame you as a villain or whatever but ur answer was way too harsh for what it was and u should just own to it and not try to justify it. it happens it's no big deal. i also often get annoying replies but that's the risk of publicly posting especially when u post even jokingly an open question. ppl aren't in your head to know what u are willing to discuss or not the same way you aren't in their to know that they will start a conversation ur not interested to have.

man this is a really obnoxious and condescending message to get and you're definitely one of the people who should be taking a moment to ask yourself if this is an appropriate way to engage with a stranger, because it absolutely isn't, especially not if you're going to stay on anon.

First of all, i quite literally started this all off by saying I was too snippy and that I wanted to apologize. That was quite literally the first thing I said. I don't think continuing to be frustrated with the way people engage with me online means I'm somehow weaseling out of owning up to my shit. I have a nasty temper. I know that.

Getting frustrating comments from internet strangers isn't just an occasional thing, it is pretty much multiple times a day every day. I have nearly eight hundred unanswered messages in my tumblr inbox right now. I know people can't read my mind which is why I try to be patient, but sometimes I reach a limit on patience and end up being snippy. Sue me.

But while it's true people can't read my mind, I think 'assume anyone is interested and willing to discuss things with you unless you have a specific reason to Not Believe That' is bad form as well. Why is it the job of everyone online to be polite to every random person who comes wandering into their replies, but not the job of people online to be considerate about the conversation they choose to strike up?

If you want to start a conversation about a post with your followers, it's very easy to just retweet something and then add a follow up 'lrt' tweet with your commentary. Quote retweets are also good for this, as rather than every part of the thread being A Conversation I'm Involved In, it begins a new thread. Or they could just make their own tweet wholecloth. You're not required to directly reply to the OP. If someone chooses to specifically and directly engage with me in a reply, I don't see why I'm expected to reply like I'm the front desk employee at best buy and problem solve with them or something. They are coming onto my account to engage with me.

This is also a nitpick, but I think it is kind of important. My original post was not an open ended question. I phrased something as a question, and then immediately answered that question myself in the next sentence. That's not an open-ended prompt for discussion, it's one complete thought. So when I make a post that says one thing extremely clearly, and someone then @'s me to say "actually, i want to talk about something that is a completely different interpretation than the thing you just said!" that to me is just deeply annoying.

Really what's the point of sending this message? Why did you send this? In what world did you think this would do anything other than put me in an even worse mood where i am significantly less inclined to be responding to people online with any goodwill. There are very few things I can think of that pays worse dividends than trying to correct someone's manners through an anonymous tumblr ask.

I want you to actually answer me right now. I want you to send a follow up here, since you're so gung-ho about having amiable discussions with internet strangers. What was the point of sending me this ask when I have already admitted to being in the wrong?

[ehlnofay]

i haven't played through the DB plotline in 87 years, but id love to hear your thoughts on astrid !! u said she's more interesting than ppl give her credit for and i 100% agree but i can't articulate it well lol

♥ @reachfolk

It's a little bit difficult to explain because a lot of the things people say about her aren't wrong, they're just oversimplified. She's the target of a lot of vitriol that I don't think is warranted.

Like, yes, she is not a good person - she runs an assassin guild, I wasn't aware that being morally sound was even on the table. She screws the player over, and I understand that that is upsetting. But her character doesn't start and end at how she makes the player feel, you know?

She was clearly a good leader who cared deeply about the Brotherhood, both as an organisation and as individuals. Everyone in the sanctuary adores her to an almost unsettling level, so she evidently must have been doing something right. She's welcoming to the player character and goes out of her way to find a good job to send them on quickly. I, at least, never got the sense that she utterly hated the player at any point, although she definitely got well used to her power and status and got very defensive at the prospect of it possibly being taken away. It seems like her betrayal was a decision to minimise harm by giving Maro the one that committed the murder of his son in exchange for the lives of the six others, in addition to upholding the brotherhood's status quo (I don't deny that one of her motivations was to maintain her position as leader).

I'm not saying that she's a good person, or even a necessarily redeemable person - no-one has to like her, but I'm saying that she's allowed to be complicated and to do things that players won't like.(Again. It's an assassin's guild. Was anyone expecting that the characters would have behaviour and philosophies that lined up perfectly with their own?)

Also, I feel that I have to note that it could be argued that Cicero's actions weren't much better, and he was a character who is widely loved. He also makes bad decisions that cause harm, also turns on some of the others in the Sanctuary, and also tries to kill the player. (And his motive is religious fervour, not an attempt to minimise the number of deaths.) These aren't obviously completely analogous, and the characters are very different, but still - I don't understand why Astrid gets so much hate while Cicero gets so much adoration.

[tyunni]

(imma try to make my asks shorter lol cuz i feel bad for taking up sm room on your blog dkdjdkjd) oooh that’s fun! i love kids lol i have a job as a teacher assistant and i work with kids that are like 4-6 years old 🥺 oH which is where i got the inspo for that one riki drabble with lil yn kissing lil riki on the cheek and stuff lol. that actually happened in one of the classes 😭 it was so cute skdjsjsj

how did you learn english btw? and ugh i totally understand. english grammar is SUPER confusing. even as a native speaker, sometimes i question my own grammar lol. so i always admire ppl who learn english when it’s not their native language, esp when they’re as fluent as you! <3 srsly

and i’ve heard of georgia. idk much about it tho lol. i only know of it bc when i was in grade 8, for fun (literally FOR FUN 💀 SKSJSK), i memorized all of the countries of the world and where they’re located on a map lol i was a huge nerd ig skjdksjd so yeah i’m familiar with georgia but ik like nothing about it sksjsk and the alphabet is sooo pretty pLS. is it an easy alphabet to learn? like compared to english let’s say lol

naur really? my vocab has impressed you??! whEN?? sksjsdkjs i remember in your work there were words that impressed me lol which is another reason why i find it so hard to believe eng isn’t your first language!!!! naurrr thank you 🥺 your def one of the vv talented writers on here too, i’m serious. also also! the long hc in your drafts (did you say it was a hc? lol i can’t remember already skdjskd im soRRY) idk if you’ve talked about it more before bc i’m literally terrible at keeping up w things but mind me asking what it’s about? 👀😏

HELP PLS DONT WORRY ABT THE SPACE ON MY BLOG😞😞 i have over 1.5k posts alr and its literally just me screaming and crying so we're good dwdw

AND PLEASE THATS SO CUTE :( i love kids too but theyre such a pain in the ass sometimes, especially the very young ones like 2-5 years old cuz during that age they're more... actuve ig :/ HOW DO U EVEN TAKE CARE OF THEM I WOULD'VE GONE MAD HELSPSMNS

and we learn english at school, from grade 1 up until grade 12 but the level is VERY LOW. we use the same A2-3 or smth levels EVERY SINGLE YEAR so it gets very infuriating as someone who's i guess ahead of everyone else because i know all that stuff already 😭😭😭 and yeah english grammar is a bit confusing but it's nothing compared to russian AND ESPECIALLY GEORGIAN GRAMMAR. as a native speaker,,,, yeah georgian grammar is fucking hell. it may look simple but it's far more difficult than english, german, italian, french & all that jazz :/ its a very difficult langauge overall. sometimes even i'm not fluent in it, that's how difficult the grammar is 😭😭

also grade 8 u was insane bcuz WHY?? WOULD U DO THAT 😞😞 i can't even memorize the name of my own country were you okay??? and yeah our culture is actually very unique and just overall based more on the artistic side. we have our own dances, singing, our own food, clothing and a very very long history. we may be small but we have definitely kept our traditions throughout the centuries and i'm very proud of that, so that stuff is also very hard to get used to when it comes to foreigners visiting or even moving here because it's VERY different from other places. as for the alphabet oH GOD NO ITS DEFINITELY VERY HARD TO LEARN, we spend at least 4 years with different types of textbooks that are specifically made to learn how to write the letters with step-by-step tutorials and guides. we also have some letters shortened a bit like ლ,დ so it's even more confusing for people who aren't fluent to read what we write 😭😭 and as the years pass everyone develops their own calligraphy (which is even more unique because of our strange alphabet) yet we can still somehow understand what the other is writing? it's very weird and definitely not an easy language or an alphabet to learn for foreigners.

ALSO YEAH WHAT IM WRITING IS KINDA?? HEADCANONS??? bulletpoints? idfk atp its a mixture of drabble + headcanon + bulletpoint and i had the time of my life writing it but now im too lazy to proofread (which i probably wont do at the end of the day OOPS) and write for the two members that i have left :///// and i'll give sort of a hint (?) it has smth to do with enhypen and highschool 😋😋 the rest is up to your imagination (well until it's released ofc) its smth that i haven't really done before cuz i usually do normal bulletpoints so it's kinda hard for me but Oh well there's a first for everything and i need to step out of my comfort zone sometimes 😈💪

[appledotcodotuk]

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 20

post directory

obsetress: ok but when they first meet

obsetress: at that bar on whatever night or whatever

obsetress: when dani and viola are talking

obsetress: viola's waving her hand around as she says something and dani's staring and then totally out of nowhere:

obsetress: "wanna compare hands?"

obsetress: "what?"

obsetress: "lemme see your hand"

obsetress: and dani is grabbing one of vi's with both of hers and pulling it towards her "like this"

obsetress: and then dani's pressing their palms together and viola's raising an eyebrow and dani just GRINS and then even once they lower their hands back to the bar, neither of them move away

em: dani is SO bold i would die for her

obsetress: god same

obsetress: dani keeps glancing down at them as they're talking and she is NOT subtle

obsetress: viola catches her every time

em: maybe dani gets a smidge of smthn on the corner of her mouth and viola...

obsetress: viola pulls her hand away and dani blinks and her brows do that lil thing but then viola's murmuring "here" and grazing her thumb along the corner of dani's mouth

obsetress: dani squeaks

em: love when dani gets out dani’d

obsetress: viola's like "sorry, was that... was that okay?" and dani just swallows and nods with big shining eyes and then vi kinda hesitates and (they've been talking for a couple hours at this point, touchin hands and obv v into each other) lets her thumb graze across dani's bottom lip and she murmurs "what about that?" and dani's eyes flutter shut

obsetress: cut to: them making out in the bathroom

obsetress: no um

obsetress: thinking about vi and dani's first kiss and like

obsetress: maybe like right after that up there vi's leaning in closer and i think she. asks dani "can i kiss you?" and dani's whispering "please" and then they're kissing all soft and THEN cut to: them making out in the bathroom and one of them slamming back against the door and kissing hard

em: dani whispering please…

em: also the smash cut between um nervous anticipation and SLAMMING against a door is so funny to me

em: sums them up

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: it's so good i love them

obsetress: i cant decide like

obsetress: because i don't think vi would be so rough with dani at first as to shove her hard against a door and i DO think dani would be shoving her against the door and her tongue down her throat first chance she gets

obsetress: but i think vi prob flips them p quick

---

em: i am. creasing thinking abt dani having to rename all of violas contacts like STOP FUCKING UR EX

obsetress: STOP FUCKING UR EX lskfjakdlsfjsd even BETTER

obsetress: edit the tumblr post coward

em: obsetress: no um dani definitely calls the landline once and viola's like "HELLO?" and dani's like "hi?" and viola's so glad to hear her dumb voice but she's still like "dani, why are you..." and dani's like "well... i, uh... i... i was... and then i..."

obsetress: anyway they have phone sex on the landline

em: CRYIN

em: danis blocked all of vis numbers except the landline shes down Bad

obsetress: yeah,

obsetress: (dani still comes over after)

em: unstoppable force (danis thirst) meet immovable object (violas stubbornness)

obsetress: just imagining like

obsetress: i mean either after this or at literally any other time

obsetress: dani and viola laying side by side in vi's bed catching their breath immediately after and viola's just like

obsetress: "you have the libido of a teenage boy"

obsetress: and dani's head just flops to the side to look at her and she just GRINS

em: dani makes some quip abt um

em: danis like i read somewhere women don’t hit their sexual peak until their 40s or something and violas like (extremely tersely) i’m 35

obsetress: SCREECH

obsetress: dani "no, i... i know, i wasn't–– i was just––"

obsetress: viola can't stay pressed w her

em: dani tryna explain her way outta that one i’m

em: dani has never once seen violas drivers license nor ID

obsetress: "i was just... saying, because, you know, i mean... for me, i'm... you know, i'm only ever getting more..." (flush, head duck, grin up through her lashes) "you know. and i'm getting older, so i was just... thinking. for me, i mean. thinking for me"

em: dani; also i give WAY better head than a teenage boy

obsetress: viola biting her lip, grinning, melting because how could you not? and then dani kinda stops in her tracks and her brows pinch together and she tilts her head at viola "i'm... a lot better at going down on you than a teenage boy though, right? i think i am" (long pause) "i hope i am"

obsetress: anyway viola laughs and tugs dani over n on top of her "i wouldn't know" and dani does her lil nervous laugh and is like "yeah, you're right, i guess not" "but" and dani's face lights up and viola continues "i think you probably are. and you're definitely up there" and dani just GRINS

obsetress: her head is back between vi's legs not three minutes later

em: dani talks big game n then like immediately double checks for validation

em: it’s an important part of her character growth!!!

---

em: ok more ‘viola has been doing this lesbian thing for longer than jamie realises’ content but like

em: perhaps she has a whole lot of ear piercings that she just never wears

em: and then one day she’s like gosh gotta make sure these don’t heal over and jamies like

em: hey what the fuck

---

obsetress: um suddenly had a thought

obsetress: viola tattoos

em: oh

obsetress: yeah, like um

obsetress: vi wouldn't have heaps and they'd be hidden bc Propriety but

em: hidden tattoos my beloved

em: all tattoos my beloved

em: i mean defs has like. the date and coordinates of isabels birth somewhere

em: but um! hmm

em: haha violets

obsetress: THE ISABEL THING WAS THE FIRST THING I WAS GONNA SAY

obsetress: violets are very vi tho like

obsetress: shade plant yk

em: under the tit

obsetress: I WAS GONNA SAY UNDER THE TIT

obsetress: GET OUTTA MY HEAD

obsetress: ok it has to be canon then if we both thought it

em: it’s canon!!

em: hmm what else

em: i think viola and dani have belly button piercings but like they got them separately

obsetress: omg when did they each get theirs

em: hmmmmmm

em: i mean wild child rich heiress viola (untapped potential here won’t lie)

obsetress: wild child rich heiress viola/boarding school wild child dani au

em: oh my god

em: viola defs went to a boarding school and dani n her commiserate over it

em: viola gets it done while she’s in highschool

em: dani post eddie break up

em: like symbolically reclaiming herself deal

em: doing things for Her

obsetress: YES

obsetress: i was gonna say vi highschool dani college

em: YES

em: idk what tattoos dani would get but am thinking abt viola holding her hand while she’s getting a tattoo or piercing done bc she’s braver than ppl think but Also

obsetress: vi holding dani's hand and telling her how good a job she's doing

obsetress: dani kissing vi's tattoos

obsetress: super fascinated even though shes seen them a hundred times

em: danis like haha and what’s this one mean (plants a big old smooch)

---

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani putting on 4 inch heels and being so content that she's finally her girlfriend's height and then viola kisses her before putting on 6 inch heels with a smug little grin

obsetress: i––

em: oh my god shannon

obsetress: oh shes on one

obsetress: Shananigans402: dani starts keeping things on a high shelf in her place just so she can ask viola to reach up to get them down for her

obsetress: i was talking to shan abt the shelf thing

obsetress: and i played myself i think

obsetress: because now i literally cannot stop thinking

obsetress: dani putting the strap on the top shelf in her closet "baby 🥺 can you get it 🥺"

---

[em note: once again it is the time honored timezone tradition of either sending ur friend something really good or really fucked up b4 they go to sleep]

em: what about

em: jamie and dani laying in bed after brunch w violas excessive amount of ear jewellery and jamies like ‘those were cool. i want some’ and danis like ‘with ur tiny lil ears??’ and jamies like ‘well. yeah…’ and danis like well. if u wanna. i think one would be cute here (mwah) and here (mwah) or maybe here (mwah)

em: ticklish jamie. that is my lil idea

obsetress: im Soft

em: thankyou

em: em softsbians

em: what was ur lil idea

obsetress: oh

obsetress: not obsoftress

obsetress: but um

em: look i was really hoping i could make it hornier but alas sometimes the idea is soft

em: can’t force the horny

obsetress: i will do my job n delivery the horny for u i suppose

obsetress: it's a hard job but somebody's gotta do it!

em: it’s a thankless job!

obsetress: dani, sneaking up behind viola to wrap her arms around her waist and bury her face between her shoulder blades: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, laying on the bed, staring up at her, panting: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, pulling away mid-heated makeout, half naked, still grinding into vi even tho they're not kissing anymore without even realizing it: baby baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

obsetress: dani, catching her breath after her first orgasm, letting her head flop to the side to look over at vi: baby 🥺 can you get the strap 🥺

em: insatiable dani clayton my beloved

obsetress: thank you i agree

obsetress: something about dani calling vi baby also........................

em: oh i love dani calling vi baby SO MUCH

em: fucked up that dani clayton is potentially just the right height to motorboat vi pretty much whenever

em: sappho may u plant ur self face first into the breast of ur tender gf or whatever

em: dani: haha i’m so short i can’t reach it. can u lift me

obsetress: vi sees thru all of dani's little tricks but entertains them anyway

obsetress: because she knows shes gonna get to rail her at the end of them

em: dani being a little shit is foreplay actually clayton

em: