#this is why we can't have expensive things
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I used to work as a self checkout attendant for a certain Sammy's Bargain Bastion Boutique during the pandemic in 2020. Because no one was spending cash, we eventually went into a coin shortage. To compensate for this, we turned all the self checkout registers to card only. Now, the thing about SBBB's self checkouts is that when they're card only, they have two key differences:
1: they say "CARD ONLY - NO CASH PAYMENTS - NO CASH BACK" in big, bold white letters on a dark blue background on the title screen. I'm nearsighted to the point where my computer screen, less than elbow length away from my face, is completely illegible. Even I could read it without my glasses, from the opposite corner of the self checkout bullpen.
2: When you scan your first item, it doesn't go right to the item-scanning screen. Instead, it pops up with a dialog box warning you that the register is card only, and the narrator asking "Do you wish to continue?", and you can't scan your second item until you acknowledge the dialog box.
I swear to god I got so many people asking me "Why won't it let me scan my items?", and I had to point them to the dialog box preventing them from scanning any more items. It got to the point where they actually removed the dialog box because nobody would read it.
Naturally, that was even worse.
I had so many customers who didn't read the title screen, would go up to a register intending to pay with cash, and then they get to the payment screen, only to find that it doesn't accept cash.
In most cases, this was a simple fix: I could suspend the transaction and send them to a staffed register, which always accepts cash. The terminal would print out a suspension slip with a barcode on it, and then they could scan it to pick the transaction up at another register, exactly the same as where they left off.
However, I couldn't do this for transactions where part had been paid already.
Cue one customer pulling me aside and asking why he couldn't pay. I tell him the register he's at was card only. He had already paid partially with EBT, so I couldn't suspend the transaction, and there was a line forming for the ONE (1) register that still accepted cash. He only had six items, so I aborted the transaction, and he got in line. He was pretty pissed by that point, but then, four items into his transaction on the new register, he pulls me aside again and asks why his peppers aren't scanning. I scan them properly, first try, and he says "You wanna be a smartass, we'll take this outside".
My boss, meanwhile, was standing at another register, filling it with cash to try and clear the line up. On his way out, he turns to her and says "This place looks like shit, you better clean it up." Once he was out of earshot we both had a good laugh at his expense, though.
never forget the universal rule of the order of things: People Will Not Read It
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It is very interesting to me that Luna is into cnc considering how prevalent rape is in their kitty cat society. Like she's seen firsthand how that effects others and romanticizes it... I'm sure nothing will go wrong with others seeing them and assuming the worst and ruining their alliances. Surely.
It is an interesting juxtaposition to be sure.
The thing about kinks/fetishes is that you can't really control which ones you have and the reasons we develop them are complicated and not completely understood. Luna doesn't have any personal trauma around sexual assault but often survivors can develop CNC kinks as a way of processing that experience.
It's also not uncommon for people, especially women, in repressive social environments to fetishize non consent because it gives them an excuse to be sexual. If you're expected to be perfectly chaste and pure and never even think about wanting sex, it can be liberating to imagine a scenario where someone comes in and forces that sexuality upon you, therby taking away the guilt in the interaction. You aren't a sinner and a slut, you're a poor girl who had no choice in the matter. It's the same reason why lots of women's romance depicts men who force expensive gifts onto the protagonist despite her saying she doesn't want them -- they get to indulge in the fantasy of owning fancy things without the guilt of being greedy or materialistic.
And in Luna's case specifically, her fascination with the concept is in part influenced by her fetishization of Floodstrike as a 'wild' cat. It's like how white women fetishize black men as these virile, sexually aggressive studs. She likes the idea of Floodstrike as this savage, noble warrior who has come to take the bounties of the city including her. Not to spoil anything, but that's the part that really makes Floodstrike uncomfortable, the way that Luna unconciously flattens him into a stereotype and not a person.
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[10.]
~Fire & Water~
Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader/Oc
Genre: Fluff, Enemies to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Drama, Action
Warnings: Suggestive comments, mentions of alcohol and drugs
Taglist: Open
Word count: 2.4k
Summary: The Kook princess is back after a year and reignites the war between Pogues and Kooks on Kildare. But she quickly realizes that after this year, nothing is the same as before. Deception, secrets from the past, and dangerous conspiracies sweep across Kildare, leaving her no choice but to work with the Pogues and her personal nemesis to find the truth and maybe even $8 million. A dangerous treasure hunt begins that turns her world upside down.
Soundtrack:
⏯️Play: I Feel Like I‘m Drowning by Two Feet
„You're a poison and I know that is the truth
All my friends think you're vicious
And they say you're suspicious
You keep dreaming and dark scheming“
"What?" was the only thing I managed to get out before I ran as if into a wall of pure heat.
The water steam was so thick that at first I could only perceive Sky's figure in a blur on one of the wooden benches.
She had wrapped a towel around her upper body and elegantly crossed her legs. She looked like I imagined one of those water nymphs out of the history books we read the other day in history class. Or a siren who lures the fishermen with her lovely voice and condemns them to death. Beautiful but poisonous.
Since I never have been in a sauna before, I had underestimated the temperature. Immediately my shirt stuck to my body and the high humidity made it hard to breathe.
But I didn't let that get to me. Her foot bobbed up and down waiting, while she leaned back and supported herself with her arms.
While sweat was directly on my forehead, the heat was not visible on her.
"Keep your hands off him! He doesn't see that you're just playing with him...", I pressed out, gradually getting used to the damp in the air.
Slowly, I walked toward her until I was close enough to see her sharply. Her body glistened like caramel and she wore small drops of water like expensive jewellery on her bare skin.
"Why? He's like a cute puppy. You just have to play with him! Routledge deserves a little fun too, doesn't he?"
I gritted my teeth at the thought of Sky messing around with John. Otherwise, I didn't begrudge him anything or any fun he wanted, but Skylar Diaz was a different story.
The girl was a Kook and therefore the enemy. Yes, she was even the leader of the Kooks and thus the most arrogant being that walked on Figure Eigth.
Her serious expression softened and she smirked at my stern look. I could have slapped myself for only now realizing that she was playing with my mind again.
She hadn't intended John B to follow her at all. Luring him into the dressing room had served solely to get me to come to the sauna.
But why all this?
A question I asked myself more and more often in her affairs. I could only guess what was going on in her head.
"He's my friend and I don't want his heart to be broken," I answered her question truthfully, noting that she had taken off all her jewelry except for her necklace with the silver pendant.
I wondered what its significance was if she didn't even take it off in the sauna.
She tilted her head and now I also recognized the moisture on her cheeks that made her soft freckles shine.
"What about your heart?" she asked suddenly.
Completely distracted by her long legs, I lifted my gaze until I reached the hem of the towel and gradually ran out of breath in the shirt.
"It can't be broken," I replied coolly, earning an inquiring look. The corner of her mouth lifted and I felt stupid.
"Are you sure about that? Not even from Layla? You seemed to have hit it off pretty well with her."
When I just frowned in confusion, she snorted, shaking her head.
"Unbelievable... That pretty blonde you were flirting with out by the pool," she helped me up and that's when I remembered her.
With a name starting with L, I had been close after all. However, I had already completely forgotten the short flirt.
Then I noticed that Sky must have been watching me without me knowing and that made the whole situation a lot worse.
Not only had she used Rafe for her revenge so she could get the keys and lure me to her party, but in addition she had manipulated me all evening until I had done exactly what she wanted.
Surprised by her abilities, I could only stare at her. Her power over people was making itself felt again now.
"Remembering all the girls' names and faces would be too much to ask, of course," she muttered provocatively, which gradually drove anger into my stomach.
However, I was angry at myself for letting her play with me like that. This was all payback for the fight and I couldn't help but admire her psychological warfare.
She played with the hem of her towel and slowly pulled it up. Panicked, I crossed my arms and suddenly didn't know where to put my eyes.
I should just leave, but my legs refused to comply with the command from my mind.
"Did you take drugs?", I asked, thinking about the cocaine on the table and unable to explain her behavior any other way.
"Sure. This is a party, JJ!"
She sounded like she was reminding me that the sky was blue or the water was wet.
My head was in chaos and I didn't know how to process it all. With any other girl, I would have jumped at the chance to be alone with her in a sauna. But Sky was not a normal girl. She was dangerous and the fact that my confident facade was starting to crumble in front of her made me feel insecure and I hated that feeling even more.
She was like an uncontrolled fire that you could easily burn yourself on if you were careless just for a second.
The heat didn't let me think clearly and as she kept pulling the towel up, I was completely overwhelmed with all the perceptions that suddenly hit me.
The more skin she exposed, the faster my heart raced.
"Stop it!"
"Why? Am I making you nervous?"
"No..."
On her face that cheeky smile spread and when she stood up and suddenly was directly in front of me, I thought I could hear my heart pounding in my ears.
"Good, then I'm sure you won't have a problem with it."
Before I could ask what she meant, she dropped the towel and something exploded in my head.
Now she was standing in front of me in just a pair of red panties and I forced myself with all my might not to let my gaze wander downward.
Instead, I fixed her eyes, which bored mercilessly into mine and seemed to be searching for the slightest weakness.
I did not notice her touch on my face until she had already lifted her arm.
Her lips were slightly parted and her pupils were as big as buttons.
Her fingertips moved feather lightly over my jaw along the bruises and over the chapped area on my lip.
Her skin seemed electrically charged, causing a tingling heat that was completely different from the one in the sauna.
"There was no fear in your eyes..."
Although the injuries on my face were very sensitive, her touch even gave me a little relief.
"That's hot," she whispered, more to herself.
The drug was apparently messing with her brainwaves.
I wanted to hurl a blunt reply at her, but something in her face stopped me.
Sky Diaz was standing in front of me almost completely naked and the only thing I could think about was how her warm skin would feel under my fingers.
Shocked at my own thoughts, I shook my head to get rid of them and ran my hands through my hair as I stared at the ceiling before giving in to the seductive desire and unabashedly looking at her body.
"Holy shit... If someone comes in," I gasped, not daring to lower my gaze. She was completely on drugs and drunk. I couldn't explain it any other way.
Part of me still expected to just wake up.
"This is my house and it's a fucking sauna. You don't normally wear clothes here. "Normally, you're not that prudish."."
It sounded like an accusation, so I laughed softly without taking my eyes off the ceiling.
Again, that arrogant tone of voice, goading me to try to beat the snobbery and confidence out of her.
Her mere presence was enough to wreak havoc with the alcohol in my blood that felt right in my lower abdomen.
"I'm not going to take my clothes off!", I smirked, noticing her sitting back down on the wooden bench. By now the heat was unbearable.
Both the one on the outside and the one inside me.
So I tore myself away and turned around so I could finally leave, as I should have been doing all along.
Before I touched the door handle, I heard her say:
"Too bad... And it was just getting interesting.
I thought you wouldn't be such a coward..."
With that she hit a weak point of mine. I was many things, but cowardly certainly not. The challenging tone in her voice stirred my fighting spirit and I wasn't going to let that sit with me like that.
"I'm not a coward," I retorted firmly, still turning my back on her.
"Then prove it!"
The next challenge. Angrily, I pulled my shirt over my head and opened the door, only to toss it in front next to her dress.
Then I turned to her and raised my hands in a waiting manner.
"Satisfied?", I asked mockingly and at that moment the sight of her hit me like a punch right in the face.
Overwhelmed, I could not look away this time and my eyes wandered endlessly along her curves.
I expelled the air through my nose again and saw that she was also looking at my body curiously.
The energy in the small room charged electrically and the tension was breathtaking as she unconsciously bit her lower lip.
"Mhmm, I'm starting to understand the other girls," she murmured more to herself, the alcohol clouding my mind too much to be vain.
Slowly I came back over to her and stopped close in front of her so that our legs were almost touching. She looked up at me from below and the sight sent a wave of heat through my body.
"I'd love to know what your boyfriend would say about that," I mused aloud, and that's when she stood up. Her breasts would fit perfectly into my palms. Would they be as soft as they looked?
Her nose was only a finger's width from mine and feeling her heated body so close to mine gave me goosebumps.
I would only have to lift my hand slightly to touch her thigh and just the idea of touching her breasts made my head feel like it was about to burst.
"Rafe is not my boyfriend."
Everything in me screamed to flee, but my body didn't respond one bit. Instead, I felt her fingertips lightly stroking my abs. Her eyes were unnaturally restless, trying to scrutinize every detail of my face.
"Has JJ Maybank lost his tongue, or something?" she asked softly, a tingle spreading wherever she touched me.
"You're a witch," was the only thing I could get out. It was the only thing that would explain my condition.
The desire to touch her became so strong that I had to restrain myself with all my might. None of this was allowed to happen.
"And you are an idiot."
The tension between us made it harder and harder to control myself and I just didn't understand why I wanted to touch her so badly. Should I give in to this desire, I had lost the game and I couldn't let that happen.
Never before had I had so little control over my body and I didn't understand it at all. It scared the shit out of me.
Strange thoughts forced themselves upon me.
I wondered how her lips felt, if she tasted as sweet as she smelled, and if she had goose bumps all over her body too.
Breathing heavily, I pushed the thoughts away and took a big step back.
"I need my key," I muttered, trying to ignore all the strange feelings. The fluttering in my chest, the thoughts, and even the tension finally subsided as I put a few more steps of distance between us.
For a moment she was silent and just looked at me. Then the cool expression on her face was back and I wondered if I had imagined it all.
"All right asshole."
She sounded rushed and ran past me to slip through the door as quickly as possible. Confused, I looked after her and only then did I remember that she was wearing nothing but panties.
"What are you doing?", I exclaimed as I followed her into the dressing room.
The sudden change in temperature made me breathe a sigh of relief and the air was pleasantly cool on my skin.
"I'm getting your stupid key so you can finally piss off."
She was a changed woman. The brief moment had only lasted a few seconds, but in that moment I had seen a different girl. A vulnerable and emotional girl. For a blink of an eye, so much pain had flashed through her eyes. However, the moment had been so brief that I already thought I had imagined it.
"At least put some clothes on!"
She laughed derisively and crossed her arms.
"You don't get to tell me what to do, Maybank!
I picked up my shirt and thrust it into her hand.
"Put this on!", I said authoritatively, surprising myself with the dominance in my voice.
Sure enough, after a moment's hesitation, she took my shirt and pulled it over her head.
It was too big for her, of course, and just reached her thighs.
Nevertheless, her curves were clearly visible underneath and the strange feeling in my chest returned abruptly when she stroked a strand of hair behind her ear and tugged at my shirt.
Then she turned around and just left me standing there, without a clue what just happened.
⬇️
© Yuna542 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.
#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#smut#enemies to lovers#enemies with benefits#writing#action#series#best enemies#jj maybank x oc#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank#outer banks fanfic#outer banks imagines#outer banks#obx kooks#obx pogues#obx fanfiction#rafe obx#obx fic#obx#rafe cameron#john b routledge#kiara carrera#pope heyward#drama#netflix
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Once, my sister was taking off her hoodie and her (very expensive) earphones fell out. She gasped and visibility stopped breathing.
Me (without missing a beat): Once I forgot my earbuds in a bag and washed that bag in the washing machine.
Me: But that's okay because they still worked.
Me: Until a car ran over them.
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The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.
#also idk how to tell you this but even if it were true. wealthy children potentially sacrificing their educational careers to protest is#a good thing actually. idk how to tell you that caring about people from other nations is good#personal#“this war has nothing to do with most students cuz nobody's getting drafted” idk how to explain to you that we should be angry#that our tuitions of 10s of thousands of dollars that we pay every year for an education is being used to fund a genocidal campaign#also the implication that if you go to a uni institution you are automatically privileged by participation no matter your bg#i didn't /want/ to go to this school. i was supposed to go to a school with an art/animation program. but i realized my immigrant#parents have been working their whole lives to get me here. and turning the opportunity down would be a disservice to their sacrifice#this is getting into convos of “what 2nd gen kids owe their parents” which is different for everyone but. yeah#i just get pissed off at seeing people misrepresenting student bodies as “wealthy” and “privileged” and “elite” when it's such a blatant li#i remember a year ago a friend told me they can't fly home to hong kong for winter break because the plane tickets are too expensive#so they have to find temporary housing around the area#last quarter for a film doc class my film partner made a doc on a small group of marxist grad students from india discussing praxis#during a rally a few months ago in response to police presence the coalition invited palestinian students to speak about their experiences#and lead songs and read poems they wrote. these are STUDENTS. are they elitist too?#this is not to disregard my own personal privilege either.#this whole narrative's just to rationalize a lack of empathy to me. seeing a 19yo student get shot by a rubber bullet and your first#reaction is “HAW! HAW! bet richy rich didn't see THAT coming when she put on her terrorist hood!”#newsflash. these big uni campuses are HAUNTED by the violence of past protests and revolutions and police brutality. we know.#why do you think these coalitions have been making reinforced barricades at record speed
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i swear my stepdad is so illogical AND stubborn it hurts
#okay so strap in coz this is a wild ride#tl;dr we have been without heat and warm water for years and i mean literal years#because he refuses to pay off some debt he built up with the company#because he feels unfairly treated (let's not get into this. it absolutely makes no sense) by the company#so instead of doing the logical step of growing some balls and admitting he made a mistake and paying off his shit#he's been looking for a new supplier all over but the deal IS#that he's been doing this with a couple of places before and people are hesitant to even make him any offers#and you'd think that learning about THAT at least now he'd be like. idk willing to just pay off his debt and be done with it#but you'd be WRONG#now he's looking to just have our entire heating system replaced for the teeny tiny price of 25000 bucks#mind you his debt isn't even a THIRD of that#and obviously he can't afford those 25000 bucks#so what's his next step now you might wonder?#well good thing you asked. his next step is going off on ME for not paying towards the new heating he wants#and now that that's not working for him guess what he did next?#that's right. he bought shit expensive 'space heaters' that are pretty much just small little boxes that you plug into an outlet#and he swears up and down that they're going to heat up our house (it's negative degrees outside)#(it's obviously not working)#and genuinely. all i can think of is how much money he shoved into trying to macgyver this house into a house with warm water and heating#and how he blew off ten thousands of bucks he got paid when he retired within the span of two weeks#when this debt could have been paid off ten times over by now#so now you might be thinking. okay tiago. why don't you move out#good question you see. my mom is disabled and reliant on someone who cares for her#something that he can't won't and shouldn't do because the last time he sorta kinda tried she almost died and we had to call an ambulance#she wouldn't eat a thing if i weren't there to cook. the house would fall into disrepair if i wouldn't do maintenance all around#i've set up (functioning) heat in some areas she occupies and i've gotten a boiler going so she at least has warm water#i'm paying off their bills to make sure he doesn't skip on paying any others. i'm buying groceries for them because again they wouldn't get#any for themselves#and finally. i've offered to pay off his debt so that we can finally live like normal fucking people do#and guess what. guess WHAT. he just got mad at me for not adding money to that 25000 bucks pool for that new fancy heating he wants
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Hello hello everybody! It is time for another months progress, and I am so excited to share with you, all the things I have gotten my grimy little gremlin hands on. First off, what we are all here for; writing. I have been on fire, to be honest! Last month I churned through the last of the first batch of erotica stories (there's 6 (!!!) of them on my patreon already) and set them up for publishing along with two more unseen ones- I'm still going over the logistics of where to publish for the best revenue (I know this sounds boring, but I have to make an income somehow, and hopefully find another audience as a smut writer on other platforms 💀 I love writing it so why not!), and I am making headway, learning the ins and outs of self publishing. On patreon, there are also two Q&A's that are written in a bit more fictional manner, in character: a more fun way than just writing answers straight up and down. I have enjoyed those so much! There's a bunch of other stuff I haven't even mentioned- honestly, I have to say, I'm really proud of my output on Patreon even though I have been really anxious about writing full time. It's going great! I have to thank my new friends and support-network on discord; you make this all worth it. I cannot express how fun it is to shoot the shit with you in vc, gaming together, or seeing your shenanigans in gen or your in depth theories (thanks for the brainworms!) or memes or staring longingly at the fanfic channel or drooling over your art (ouro related or not) or... Gah. You are just amazing people, and I will waste no opportunity in saying so. Thank you forever and ever and ever an-
When it comes to OUROBOROS, I am happy to announce that the next chapter is damn near done! I was halted because of the discovery that dashingdon is no longer supported by it's creator, and have been working on the twine version ever since, earlier than I expected- it's tough work, but I am so excited to make this an actual game made entirely by myself, and not submitting to a company that quite frankly leaves a bitter aftertaste. It is taking long to make because I want to make it mobile compatible from the start, which there isn't a lot of resources for. But I'm doing my best! The plan is that I will be posting the next chapter for Patreons in the coming month, and then treat you to a full twine release here on tumblr. I haven't made any rewrites when porting the twine build, but I would like to do that too... so we will see; this plan is not set in stone. I will just have to see how it evolves over the next month. Yes, beta-readers is still on the schedule, just holding off a little while while I wrap my head around this new coding landscape.
Other than that, I have been working on the set aesthetic for ouro, which has been really hard, a lot harder than I expected. You all know I am no wizard when it comes to graphic design, but I want to at least develop a set palette and imagery and portraits that is cohesive to the story. The work is ongoing, and I don't have much to say about it- even though it is taking a lot of my brain power. I'm hoping I can come to some kind of set and in depth conclusion that I am happy with before the twine release, because I want the game to feel like a treat to open up and play; a world to get lost in.
That's it! If you want to see weekly and more in depth dev-logs, you know where to go. I hope you have an amazing day or night, and we will see each other soon. xx
#OUROBOROS#ouroboros-if#interactive fiction#twine wip#progress report#dev log#I am SO sorry I haven't been around a lot to answer asks- there is so much work to be done and only so little of me to go around whuhuhuhu#send help lmfao. tuck me into your pocket. keep me safe!!!! I have no idea how people manage all this. But I promise and cross my heart I a#Doing My Best™#other things not mentioned: I have been going through The Stress with my doagy who injured her leg but today we finally took a full hike t#together- she really scared me with how much pain she was in but we made it through 😭 I cannot thank my patreon supporters enough because#your support is making me breathe easy about the upcoming vet bill. why are blood samples so expensive. wah#yeees yees im bursting with butterflies and rainbow emotions. but truly- I can't thank you enough#Onwards! We keep moving!I am so excited for all this-damn all the stress and the insecurities-I am Doing It!!! It is Happening! Wahoo!
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this is my entire stance on the "american food is bad" discourse summed up
#there are two distinct times when american food is bad#when it's people who are well off or rich enough that all they care about is appearances and how expensive the ingredients are#bcs they don't care about taste anymore it's a status thing#and also when it's stupid gentrified gimmick restaurants basically following the Cesare from Big Top Burger formula#where it doesn't matter how it tastes#it's just about it looking cool or having a gimmick so influences will come take pictures and give you tons of free advertising#that's when american food is bad#bcs rip to y'all but I grew up dirt fucking poor around other dirt fucking poor people of all races and backgrounds#and we COULD cook y'all under the table with these things#when all you have for food is hamburger helper and canned soup well damn you learn how to make it taste good#also those two bad times are NOT unique to america AT ALL#remember the Australian fish and chips that had activated charcoal and looked like actual shit?#this ain't an american problem this is a fucking rich people problem send tweet#this is also why I can't watch chopped anymore#the way they talk about ingredients like those like they're worthless and they can't believe people would eat them#like cool glad you grew up well off enough to afford real people food#the rest of us had to learn to make velveeta taste good and you know what#I could cook your ass under the table with velveeta and all those other 'cheap' ingredients you're mocking
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I feel insane. Listening to some people talk about struggling with balanced consistent eating and out of every point they make to why it's a struggle they keep circling back to its so expensive. I feel like. Can people hear themselves. Does anyone hear how insane that sounds. Food is hard because it's so expensive. Food. That thing you need to. You know. Survive. To live . The most basic. Food is so expensive nowadays it's so hard to eat enough. HELLO? THAT'S INSANE
#tide of consciousness#The number one reason for why someone might struggle with eating enough should not be MONEY#THIS FEELS LIKE. DO WE REALLY LIVE IN THIS WORLD#I CAN'T HANDLE THINKING ABOUT THIS I'M GOING TO FALL APART#Everytime I think about how the most necessary tools to just be able to live are the most expensive ones I just#I can't#I can't handle that. God its horrific#The idea that someone out there went here's a thing a large majority of the population needs to literally survive#That means they HAVE to pay me this price for it! Huzzah! Instant money cheat! I HATE YOU#I can't think about glasses I can't think about phones I can't think about insulin or any medication#I can't think about it. Every little thing that people depend on to accomplish anything that costs hundreds to thousands of dollars#Its so scary#The environment this creates makes therapy a near requirement to get through things at times#Paywall that too.#Like how does anyone deal with feeling like every system exists only to push as much money out of me as possible#You have to make money to buy the things you need so you work 12 hours a day to make the money to pay for these things#Like you can't. You can't have a life anymore you just have to work for the most basic necessities and you're left with no time no money#No life at all. Everyone exists just to create product and keep the economy moving#I can't think about this. I can't handle it I can't fathom it I can't I can't I can't
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videos about how to improve minecraft way too often want to change the parts of the game I actually like
#saw such a good video months ago. agreed on almost every thing.part 2 came out and I hate every idea in it 💀💀💀#I just want to build in non-creative is that so hard to work with?#I actually like that you can get max tools in a day if you grind enough. I have things to build#I love mending. I can't be bothered to re-enchant my tools 30 times in one day bc I'm speed mining 20 shulker of terracotta#I love that the food system is uncomplicated so I can get a stack of smth and build for hours straight without thinking#trying to make mending more difficult to get is stupid. just makes playing more grindy than it already is#easiest solution is: no anvil cap. no repairing tools getting more expensive. mending takes way more exp to add. like 20/30 levels#it only takes 2 currently and that's stupid cheap. if you're a long time player it's just a bit more annoying to add and if not it's a-#reward your getting to 30 levels. easy. we don't need all that villager biomes that don't exist in game shit#and make the chance for anvils to break lower if you're only repairing tools with their materials. 1 level each time too#it's literally so easy omg why are we doing this 😩😩😩#minec
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I bought to my friend for her b-day a little thing ASIDE the other big present we did. So literally a little bonus. Because the main present was a cat feeder and i thought it was more a gift for her cats than for her.
She texted me and very indirectly said 'i don't need this because i already read it' (i bought her the first volume of a comic i know she likes)
#like i know I KNOW#i bought it as a little thing#because i suck at choosing presents#this is why we have lists diocane#it was literally a pensierino di merda#serve per forza che mi scrivi 'non sono come te se mi piace me lo leggo tutto non mi serve collezionarlo'#i forgive you my friend only cause i lowkey know what you're trying to convey#but fuck you could have just said thanks#then you could add 'it wasn't necessary'#sorry i can't buy you expensive shit for home because you have one already#i'm kinda bitter this days i need to vent out sorry#momochats#personal
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i am desperately trying to be more active but i'm experiencing mental burnout. just want to say thank you for the interactions even when i'm only checking in here now and again - i'll respond when i'm feeling better! <3
#nothing really happened - work and the house just got on top of me.#for context i was promoted to a management position in october and i hit my stride so i have a lot of responsibilities and i'm hhh.#having to play catch up in terms of skillset. i'm good at my job but i'm not the best - therefore ? i must keep pushing :y#as for home... Man (horse.jpg)#we bought a house a year ago. i envy people who renovate days after moving in. we're a year in and i'm only just redoing the kitchen floor#after a leak that happened in JUNE 2022. it's expensive as fuck and takes so much time.#i'm so fortunate to be able to afford a house but like. i won't lie. it's really hard having to be responsible for everything that goes#wrong with it. my kitchen has been subfloor for months. we destroyed our kitchen island trying to make room for the floor to be done#so we're down storage and stuff is just piling up. eh i know this is like. first world problem and really not a big deal.#but when your house is in disrepair because you don't have the money to fix it quickly or time to do it yourself. shit's hard.#anyway this is a rant. don't want a wrench or a tissue- just wanna get it out.#[puts on pantalone hat] i have money anxiety too#like i earn the most i've ever earned. i won't really get much higher than this atm. i'm due a bonus and i can cash out my shares#but fixing up the house is so expensive. i'm worried i'm gonna lose it all somehow. idfk why. when things are going well i worry i'm gonna#lose it all somehow. growing up poor does a number on your resource guarding. if i spend a penny I Will Lose It All.#' dima why do you like pantalone so much ' HE JUST LIKE ME FRRRR#sry this is a ramble . i treat tumblr tags like my diary but i hope you enjoyed the read xoxox#anyways! point is! i'm alive! i'm itching to come back but i dont have the mental space for fun rn.#can't have fun until i feel safe enough to have fun if that makes sense.#aight byeee
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answering a couple questions i got on this post since i realized ppl genuinely wanna know:
tl;dr:
israel lets very, very little aid get into gaza. even the UN can't get in as much as they want to. funding individual families, gazan led initiatives, and mutual aid collectives operating out of gaza ensures gazans can provide for themselves and pay for the extremely expensive aid that is available.
with all the civil infrastructure destroyed by israel, the situation on the ground has devolved into unrestricted capitalism, driving up the price of aid (that should be free!). this makes it more urgent for people to have funding for daily survival.
the post linked above has examples of how donating to individual families can help a lot. if you want to help more than one family at a time, there are many gazan-led initiatives focusing on rebuilding their infrastructure and distributing aid fairly that are worth donating to instead of large charities that already get the majority of donations.
as i mentioned in the last post: @/careforgaza on twitter is a nonprofit started by gazans, it's been endorsed by multiple palestinian journalists.
the sameer project is a collective organized by diaspora palestinians offering emergency shelter to gazans.
ele elna elak is a project aiming to bring water, food, shelter, etc. to gazans and has been promoted by bisan owda.
and the municipality of gaza itself is fundraising to rebuild water infrastructure.
all of these organizations are active inside gaza right now and are being run by gazans. if anyone knows of other gazan-led mutual aid projects, nonprofits or charities feel free to link them in the notes! hope this helped!
long answers under the cut!
if you wanna donate to a charity that's absolutely fine, but the thing is most charities (and even the UN!) are unable to make it into gaza in the first place, leaving aid rotting at the egyptian side of the border or subject to israeli settler attacks
not to mention, charities and nonprofits also maintain a paternalistic colonial relationship with the indigenous people they are trying to help, determining what aid they need for them instead of returning power to them and letting them make their own choices
i'm not here to say that one option is better than the other, just that they achieve different things and are equally legitimate. there's an attitude among people who question the legitimacy of these gofundme campaigns that somehow the people promoting them are telling them not to donate to charities. nobody is stopping you from donating to charities. we are just asking that you do not dehumanize the very real gazans in your inbox just because their method of asking for aid is more direct and risky.
unfortunately that's exactly what has happened. because israel destroyed all of gaza's more formalized infrastructure, it seems that organized crime and rampant inflation has taken its place. aid is supposed to be free, but in order to save for evacuation or the cost of living, people have started selling them at an inflated price. and aid that is truly free attracts intense, large crowds that are dangerous to navigate.
this was posted on abc a few days ago
it's pure, unrestrained capitalism. i've had multiple palestinians describe this situation to me confidence. that's why everything's so expensive now. why people have to rent out tiny plots of land for their tents to sit on, why my friend @siraj2024 still has to buy tarps to cover the broken windows of the overpriced bombed out apartment he rented, and why a bag of flour can cost a thousand bucks in the north.
even before israel closed and then bombed the rafah crossing, the egyptian hala travel agency was only allowing people to cross the border if they paid a hefty $5000 USD per adult / $2500 USD per child bribe. it denies doing this, but the hundreds of stories from palestinians say otherwise.
with regard to the economy, here in america we saw something similar happen in the wake of hurricane helene and milton. the podcaster margaret killjoy describes how she saw dual economies rise after asheville was fully cut off from the rest of the country - some people offered each other supplies for free in a sort of mutual aid honor system, and some people required payment when they lent supplies because they themselves needed to buy stuff for their families. these dual economies exist in gaza too. and this means they all still need money to survive.
#og#palestine#palestine resources#gaza#free palestine#free gaza#gaza strip#save palestine#i stand with palestine#all eyes on palestine#palestine genocide#gaza genocide#donations
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every day that goes by it feels more and more likely that I'll get this promotion and I can't believe I'm at a place in my life where that's even a possibility. like last year I had just the absolute worst time with employment and just had a horrible year in general but I feel like I got so lucky finding this job. except they felt lucky to find ME. like the hiring manager told me she was so happy to have multiple candidates and that I was easily the best out of the group (she's had to hire people out of desperation/only having one candidate before and they never worked out bc they weren't good fits at all) and my confidence has skyrocketed since I started working there because my boss and coworkers treat me like an equal even though I'm young and relatively inexperienced. they treat me like they believe I'm capable and competent and it makes me feel capable and competent and it's incredible. the idea that I could be getting a promotion for the first time in my life after only 3 months at this place is insane but I'm so hopeful because nobody acts like it's a far-fetched idea. I'm taken seriously and it gave me the confidence I needed to actually say that I'm interested in that promotion and that I know I'm capable of doing that position. plus the company itself is great honestly, I feel really lucky to work there. even as a part time employee at the lowest level I feel genuinely important and appreciated. I've already met the person who would be my boss if I get promoted and she seems just as respectful as everyone else. are all employee-owned companies like this???
#I even earn commissions on top of my regular pay too like. and I'm allowed to accept tips which you'd be surprised how often that happens#way more frequent than I would've guessed#anyway I might have a post soon that's actually celebrating instead of just rambling about the possibilities#or I might have once about how they hired someone new. it wouldn't really make sense for them to do that but whatever#even if they do there's every likelihood that the new person quits after a month or two and I have the opinion#opportunity* again#I can see them deciding to hire someone with more experience in management. but if they went with me they wouldn't have to hire anyone new#and they also wouldn't have to cut anyone's hours#speaking of which! they were planning to cut my coworker's hours before the new manager quit#like. they were gonna cut the more experienced guy's hours instead of mine??? we both open a lot but they'd rather have me there than him??#which is insane honestly like they totally could've just invented a reason to fire me if they wanted to lay me off and not pay unemployment#so I'm more desirable than him??? which is crazy bc he's good at the job#but yeah if they promoted me then he could keep his hours and they wouldn't need to replace my position at all really#it would all balance out really nicely and probably save the company a lot of money honestly. bc I'd take way less time to train#obviously I can already do register and all the other parts of my job. but I also have a good foundation for the manager's duties too#bc I paid attention when the last manager was being trained. plus I've been trained on a manager thing already which is cool#so yeah I'm just. hopeful. it makes the most sense for them to promote me. but I'm not gonna celebrate prematurely#I won't be devastated if it doesn't happen but it would be the best outcome#plus it would kind of turn 2025 into the year of the promotion for my family lol. my dad is expecting to get promoted in the next few months#his boss just got approved for a home loan so he and his wife are gonna be closing on a house in less than 30 days#and it's in his boss's contract that he has to live on-site so he won't be staying unless he can negotiate a contract change. not that he#wants to stay anyway. he's been trying to find a different job for a while now and doesn't want to still be there for the summer season#so my dad would get promoted to that job which not only would be a huge pay increase plus a move from hourly to salaried#but he'd also get free housing as part of the job! so his expenses will go way down and income way up#the extra duties aren't that much either. he'd just be taking on the administrative duties on top of what he already does#plus being on-call (which is why he'd live on-site) but that really only makes a difference for like 3 months of the year lol#he'd be like doubling his income#which actually. wow if we both got promoted our household would suddenly have a 6-figure annual income. what the hell#I can't even imagine that. wow#wow this tag said something else but I reached tag limit lmao. if you read all that hiiiii let's be friends <3
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dni.
#i don't know how people who do not have siblings live cause#whenever i feel the very intense and real urge to genuinely kms their faces pop up in my head#my sister laughing at my jokes after she had a bad day and saying with tears in her eyes that hey you know what i need you so much please#call me constantly when im abroad i don't know what I'd do without you#and my little brother not trusting my parents advice when he is sick because he thinks they're constantly telling him to do a hundred thing#anyway but listening to me when im giving the exact same advice asking me such innocent questions that seem so obvious#but he doesn't know because of his childlike innocence#like why are we not going to the doctor if i have fever how do our parents know how to cure it and how can i take dolo without a doctors#prescription and me laughing and explaining that it's okay it's normal it's paracetamol you don't have to worry you'll be okay in day or 2#or how he's excitedly telling me that these are the colleges i looked up are they good how do you know if they're good#he needs me so much even tho he'd never say it they've been even worse parents to him than to me he doesn't have anyone else#so then how could i be so selfish and hurt the two people who love and need me the most the two people on whom if i see tears#it feels like a stab directly to the heart?#but i can't help it. can't help fantasizing about dying#maybe myself but even better if by some terminal illness#i keep thinking me lying in a hospital bed and doctors saying there's a complicated procedure and it's very expensive and results aren't#even guaranteed so are you sure want to be treated#and me saying no please let me die my parents would protest at first they would feel it is their duty responsibility to keep me alive#but id say please i don't have anything to live for and i just CAN'T i can't do this i can't live this life it's too difficult im not#capable im already failing please just let me give up and then they'd agree#and then i would tell my father that im sorry i couldn't pay you back for all the money you spent on me my education my living expenses#but atleast now i won't ask for anymore money from you ever you'll probably get some money from the insurance policies#and i would tell my mom that sorry for being such a burden on you all these years but now you can finally be free with the 2 kids you#actually love and you never have to cook for me again or fold my clothes or feel bad that i won't attend your family functions#and i would tell my siblings that i know it's sad but please i know you guys are strong and bright and you're gonna be very happy and#successful and that's enough for me im sorry we couldn't have our dream raksha bandhan away from our parents but you can carry on without#me and ill always love you. and that would be it.#i know it's wrong to fantasize so much about dying and ive read somewhere that they may just seem like thoughts now but if left untreated#one day you're gonna have a bad day and you're gonna find the perfect opportunity and you were so sure you were never going to do it but#then you do. but i don't know how to stop
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need to save up so much money i need to visit italy (for no reason) soon or i'll die
#not to mention i need to finish building my house. i don't even want to leave my current place i like it here#like i know its practical and it will be more affordable and easier for me in the long run but it all just seems exhausting#and things are so expensive omggg#why can't we all have housing just for existing#like i know i should be grateful i'll have a house and shit but making it livable costs so much! so much!#airam talks
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