#this is why u gotta stay hot no matter what goes on in your personal life

[sanjiaftersex]

watching whole cake really puts so much into perspective like if i was in sanji's place i wouldn't just be smoking, I'd be snorting cocaine

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Ayato [VAMPIRE ENDING]

Monologue

ーー Screams echo through the castle halls.

No, not just inside the castle either.

When we stepped outside,

I realized those sounds were coming from all across the Demon World.

The final thing,

Karlheinz-san left behind...

It was a new world,

where a newborn species would live.

This world does not need demons nor humans.

Therefore, he will end them.

My body would not stop shaking. 

However, I managed to keep going,

because Ayato-kun was there besides me.

His kindness transmitted through our connected hands,

is what pulled me back,

right before I got swallowed by the dark pits of despairーー

Male Vampire A: Gyaaaah!

Female Vampire A: No...Nooooooo!!

ー The scene shifts to the burning forest

Yui: Oh no...!! This is horrible...!!

Ayato: Is this...Is this the world he wished for?

All for this sake...!

New race, my ass. Fuck all of this...

Yui: Ayato-kun...

???: Ayato-kun! Bitch-chan!!

Ayato: ...!?

Yui: ( This voiceーー )

ー The other Sakamaki’s approach them

Ayato: You guys...

...Look at that. Still refusin’ to die, huh?

Laito: Nfu~ Of course we’re alive.

Kanato: I actually agree with Laito for once. We are not that weak to be done in by a few flames.

Ayato: Heh...Guess that’s true.

Yui: ( Thank god...I’m so glad to see everyone alive...! )

Reiji: More importantly...What is going on? The evening gala’s entire venue has gone up in flames.

Subaru: Che...There’s piles of corpses everywhere you look.

Yui: ( No way... )

Reiji: So? Where is Father? We must update him on the status quo.

Ayato: That...won’t be necessary.

Reiji: ...What do you mean?

Ayato: He died.

Reiji: ...

Shuu: ...Died?

Ayato: Yeah.

Reiji: This is not the time to joke around...

There is no way that man would die.

Ayato: It’s not a joke. He’s no longer around.

...And it was exactly what he wished for.

Reiji: ...

Ayato: Also...Kanato, Laito.

Kanato: Yes?

Ayato: Mom died as well.

Kanato: ...

Laito: ...I see...Okay...

???: That man...has passed away...?

ー The Mukami’s appear

Ruki: In that case...Sakamaki Ayato. Does that mean...You are Adam?

Yui: ( ...Did the Mukami’s know about this as well, perhaps...? )

Azusa: Eve...Ayato-san turned out...to be your Adam, huh...?

Kou: ...We...

Yuma: ...Ugh.

Reiji: Adam? What exactly are you talking about? Explain this at once!!

Yui: Wellーー

Monologue

In the following minutes,

we told them everything which had happened up till now.

Including the full details,

on the plan their Father - Karlheinz-san - wished for.

And thenーー

Reiji: ...Unbelievable...You claim that was Father’s wish...?

Ruki: And Adam and Eve were born right now...

Ayato: Adam? Eve? My ass!

I’m Yours Truly and Chichinashi is Chichinashi! Simple as that.

Shuu: ...Sounds like something you would say...

And? What are we going to do now? We can’t just sit around and do nothing forever, can we?

Ruki: We’re returning to the human world. Then I can think, about my path in life...

Kou: You mean ‘ours’, right?

Yuma: Exactly. Don’t talk as if you’re all by yerself now.

Ruki: ...You guys...

Azusa: ...Ruki...It’s just like they said. We’re brothers, remember?

Ruki: ...Yeah, you’re right.

There you have it...So long.

ー The Mukami’s leave

Yui: ( ...Guys... )

Ayato: They left...

Shuu: They sure did...I mean, it fits them so I see no problem? Pwaah...

ーー So, Ayato. What’s your plan?

Ayato: Well...

Yui: ( Right, we can’t stay stuck in place forever either. )

( We have to think about the future. )

Ayato: ...

I’ll stay here. With Yui by my side as well.

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Laito: Look at you talk, Ayato-kun! I’m impressed!

Kanato: ...Well, I suppose that’s fine. However, as you can see, Eden has been completely destroyed.

Ayato: ...Hehe. Oi oi, who do you think I am?

Don’t underestimate the Great Ayato-sama!

*WOOSH*

Yui: ( Ah...! Eden has stopped crumbling apart...? )

Reiji: ...I see.

If Father’s magic is what caused this destruction, then I suppose you can use your newly earned powers to stop it...? 

Ayato: Haah, haah...I could have done this much with ease even without that jerk’s powers!

Subaru: ...I wonder...

Ayato: Aah!? What didya say!?

Reiji: Good grief...We just went through all of that, and look at you guys going at it again...

Yui: ( Reiji-san may say that but...I’m happy to have met up with everyone and be able to talk to them like this... )

Ayato: ...Tsk. ...Oi! Chichinashi!

Yui: Y-Yes!?

Ayato: Why do you look so relieved? Now that everything’s settled, you gotta get ready!

Women love that sorta stuff but they always take forever, don’t they?

Yui: Eh?

Ayato: Haah? You really don’t get it at all, do you?

Laito: Nfu~ You’re so dense, Bitch-chan.

It’s a little broken down, but when a guy asks you to live together in a castle like Eden...

There’s only one thing that could imply, right?

Yui: ...Um...

Ayato: Aah, god! You know...

ーー I obviously mean we have to get everythin’ ready for the wedding ceremony!

Yui: ...!

The two of us will...?

Ayato: Y-Yeah! I’ll make an exception for you. Only ‘cause I’ve got no other choice though!

Laito: ...Looks like someone can’t be honest with himself.

Ayato: Aah!? Excuse me!?

Laito: Oh, nothing~! Nfu~!

Yui: ( Ayato-kun and I will... )

( Oh no, this feels like a dream... )

Shuu: ...I mean, suit yourself.

Subaru: I don’t mind if that means less trouble for us.

Reiji: If you do not burden me, then please be my guest.

But, well...Since I am the only person here with some common sense, allow me to say one thing.

ーー Congratulations.

Yui: ( Reiji-san... )

Ayato: I decided I’m gonna do this shit so l will, regardless of what you guys say!

Ah, right. I guess I wouldn’t mind employin’ you guys as my servants at the castle?

Reiji: I kindly refuse. Haah...I am leaving now.

Ayato: Aah? Where exactly?

Reiji: Does that matter?

Honestly...Any place will do.

Father is no longer around. In that case, I see no reason for me to stay here.

ー Reiji leaves

Ayato: That’s why I asked wheーー

Subaru: I’m dippin’ as well.

I didn’t exactly live with you guys out of my own free will anyway. See you.

ー Subaru leaves as well

Shuu: I’ll go too then...Pwaah...Guess I’ll finally get some peace and quiet...

ー Shuu follows suit

Yui: ( They all left. Which leaves... )

Ayato: What ‘bout you two?

Laito: Hmー Let me think. I guess I could stick around.

There’s so much fun to be had with a newlywed couple, don’t you think~? Right, Kanato-kun?

Kanato: I’m afraid I can’t agree. I’m leaving as well.

ー Kanato leaves

Laito: Eehー Boring! Oh well...I guess it can’t be helped this time.

See you~! Ah! Send me an invitation to the ceremony, okay~?

ー Laito follows after Kanato

Yui: Ah...

...They all left.

Ayato: Hmph! A huge weight lifted off my shoulders, honestly!

Now it’s finally just the two of uー Woah.

...

...Come on, let’s go.

Yui: Y-Yeah...!

ー Ayato steps closer

*Smooch*

Ayato: ...Nn...

Yui: Wha...!?

Ayato: Guess I’ll kiss you before that at least.

Yui: ...B-Before? You already did, Ayato-kun...

Ayato: Shush!

Well, I guess kisses aren’t half bad.

Okay! Now we’re headed off for real.

Yui: Yeah...!

Monologue

Ayato-kun pulled me by my hand,

as I once again faced Eden.

This place is currently in ruins.

However, in my eyes,

it looked more beautiful than anything.

I wonder why?

That question immediately disappeared from my mind.

The answer,

more than anything, or anyone,

was right next to me after allーー

Ayato: ーー Oi, why are you takin’ forever?

Come here already.

On certain CGs, little black roses will appear on the screen. If you click on them, you get an extra line of dialogue.

“I won’t let you go, no matter what happens. You better don’t take my love lightly.”

“I hope you made up your resolve when choosin’ me, Chichinashi? ...’Cause you’re mine forever now.”

Yui: ( Aah...What a peaceful day. )

( I’m so glad...Our ceremony is today. )

Ayato: Oi, whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout? Did you have other stuff on your mind when I’m here right in front of you?

Geez, I can never leave my guard down with you.

Yui: Fufu...Sorry...

Ayato: Hmph...

...Anyway...

Those guys just filled their belly and went on their merry ways afterwards. Same goes for those darn Mukami’s.

Who knows what those dudes have been up to this whole time, but for these occasions, they all show up all of a sudden.

Well, I guess it makes sense for them to show up, seein’ as I’m basically the King here now.

Yui: ( I wonder if I’m the only one...Who believes they’re actually looking out for us? )

Ayato: Oi, let me tell you, just in case.

Yui: Yes?

Ayato: I’m not with you ‘cause that’s part of his stupid plan.

Yui: Ayato-kun...

Ayato: I don’t give a damn ‘bout becomin’ the ‘saviors’ he talked of.

The Demon World’s a hot mess. But...

You’re right here in front of me.

That’s why I want to touch you. Want to embrace you.

Don’t want to let you go. Want you by my side...

In short, um...How do I say this...?

...

Aah, right!

ーー I love you, Yui.

...I love you...

No matter what becomes of the world, let’s be together.

That’s simply how I feel.

Yui: ( ...Ayato-kun... )

( I love you too. )

( From here on out, I’ll only ever trust you...and continue to love you. )

( Together...Forever... )

ーー THE END ーー

[littlestarofthewest]

*chants softly* Do it - write that modern AU uno fic that the fandom doesn't realise that they desperately need 👿😏😘

Remember this? This came up between Christmas and New Year’s 2019 xD And now I finally did it.

Pairing: Arthur x gn reader | Words: 2325 | Rating: mildly nsft | Tags: strip Uno (yes, you’re reading this right), modern AU

The party is in full swing around you, but you have no desire to join in. It's been a while since a new year made you hopeful, and all the happiness and well wishes for another promising year sound forced and wrong in your ears.

It's too loud, and it smells like alcohol and too many people in a small space. You can barely breathe, so you head along the corridor to the rooms that are off-limits to the other guests. You don't feel like crashing in John's and Abigail's bedroom, so you take the next room that's part office, part storage room. In the past, you sometimes crashed here for the night.

You close the door behind you with a sigh and are about to head for the couch, but then you spot someone sitting in front of it on the ground. He's hunched over a little and looks up when you stop dead in your tracks.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't know somebody was in here."

"It's alright," the guy says, offering you a kind smile.

A little lamp next to the sofa throws a soft shadow on his face, and you recognize the beard and nice features. You've seen him many times in photos around the apartment.

"You're Arthur, right?" you ask. "John's friend slash brother?"

Arthur chuckles. "Yeah, I guess you could call me that."

"I'm Y/N, Abigail's friend."

Recognition shows in Arthur's face, and he nods. "Friend slash soul mate slash the only person who understands Abigail whenever John acts like … well, John."

"So you have heard of me."

"A little, here and there," Arthur says, "mostly good."

"Mostly?"

Arthur grins a little one-sided, and something warm rises up in your stomach. You always thought that Arthur was handsome based on the pictures. It's way worse in person.

"I didn't mean to crush your party-" you start, but Arthur interrupts you.

"It's alright. I understand the urge for some peace and quiet. Please stay."

"Thanks." You move closer and sit down on the ground, putting your first and only drink down on the table next to the lamp. "What you got there?"

"Uno cards, if you believe it," Arthur says, and you both look at each other and speak at the same time. "John."

Arthur laughs, and you take a sip from your drink, enjoying the view. You definitely prefer Arthur's company to all the fake happy people outside.

"You gonna shuffle those all night, or are you ready to lose?" you ask.

"Lose?" Arthur measures you with a raised brow. "Around here, nobody takes me on."

You wave your fingers at him. "Come on then. Deal."

Arthur shuffles the cards for real now before setting up the first game, and you try to figure out if you've ever had a stranger New Year's Eve. Sitting in a friend's apartment playing Uno with a stranger is not a plan you would have made.

About two minutes later, Arthur puts his last card on the pile. "See?" he teases, but you just shrug.

"Beginner's luck."

You go back and forth with dealing the cards, and although Arthur wins the first three games, you soon catch up, making you both even again.

"So, why are you in here?" you ask, sorting your cards.

"I only came because John and Abigail wanted to set me up, but she didn't show," Arthur says with a shrug. "Didn't feel like partying after that."

"That sucks. Did her plans change?"

"More her perspective, I guess," Arthur says, something defeated in his voice. "Saw my profile picture, and suddenly she changed her mind."

"Nah, that can't be it."

"Why not?"

"Because you're gorgeous."

"I- What?" Arthur stumbles.

"I'm telling you that you're a very attractive man," you say while watching your cards. "And Uno, by the way."

"Oh, well, thank you, I guess," Arthur says. He puts another card on the pile, his cheeks now sporting a red tinge. "You're very nice."

"Just honest. And I win."

You grin at Arthur as he collects the cards to shuffle again. "You really are a worthy foe. We should make this more interesting."

"What, like strip poker?" you joke and Arthur laughs.

"We only have Uno cards." He's about to deal, but then he looks at you with a mischievous spark in his eyes. "Although it doesn't make much difference, really."

You look at each other and there's a sudden tension as if both of you wait for the other to chicken out or laugh. You wish you could, but the idea of getting Arthur naked is too tempting, even if you might lose some of your clothes yourself.

"We should probably lock the door," you say as casually as you can.

"Yeah, that's a good idea."

You get up to lock the door, and when you come back, Arthur deals, both of you acting as if nothing changed, but you feel a constant wave of heat running up and down your body. Before, you didn't really care much for your cards, but now every move counts. 

Arthur's the first one to win, but the second he puts down the card, he looks like he'd rather take it back. "Look, you don't have to-"

You interrupt him by taking off one of your shoes. "You're just worried you're going to lose."

 "Fine, you're asking for it."

Arthur wins again, getting your second shoe, followed by you winning for the first time. Like you, Arthur loses his shoes first, and then you agree to count both socks as one item. That's how Arthur ends up shirtless pretty soon after. You tell yourself that a naked torso is really nothing special, but for some reason, you play your worst round.

"You seem to have a hard time concentrating," Arthur teases, and you hate that he actually noticed.

"Shut up," you grunt, focusing on the cards. Still, you can't help but peek at Arthur once in a while.

"How did you end up here then tonight?" Arthur asks.

"My ex is back in town and hung around in front of my apartment, so Abigail suggested I hang out here."

"Something to be concerned about?" Arthur asks, his voice making clear how he thinks about a stalker-y ex.

"It's not that bad, really. They're not dangerous or anything, just annoying," you explain. "It's probably just a desperate 'alone on New Year's Eve' thing. Like I'd do that again."

You roll your eyes, and Arthur chuckles. "One of those, huh? Just gotta wait them out then. And this is your shirt gone."

He puts down his last card, and you get to your feet. "I'll go with the pants first if you don't mind. I'm hot anyway."

"Suit yourself," Arthur says nonchalantly, but you can feel his eyes on you as you slide the fabric down your legs. 

Arthur looks away again when you sit, but your skin still prickles, and you wonder how much more of this you can take. Playing freaking Uno shouldn't be this hot.

Lucky for you, you get a good hand, and despite your lack of concentration, Arthur's the one who has to get rid of his pants next. You try your best not to stare at his junk but fail miserably. Suddenly you're very concerned about what could happen next. Arthur must think the same.

"Glad we locked the door," Arthur grunts, "I don't need strangers looking at my junk."

"I'm a stranger, too, aren't I?" 

"You called me gorgeous; you can do whatever you want," Arthur says.

You know he's joking, but that doesn't stop your brain from imagining things you could do to or with him. That very pleasing but also distracting train of thought loses you your shirt in the next round. Still, Arthur's the one who has to get rid of his underwear first.

This time, you have the decency to look away until he sits down again, and the red on Arthur's cheeks is back. 

"So, what now?" he asks. "Can't exactly take off more if I lose."

After what you just thought about, your brain seems to have lost all sensible ideas, and you blurt out the first thing on your mind. "Truth or dare."

Arthur chuckles. "Really? And next up is 'spin the bottle?'" 

"Hey, we're playing strip Uno," you huff, "you really want to get judgemental on me now?"

"Alright, alright, 'truth or dare' it is. Just deal."

You deal the cards with butterflies taking flight in your stomach. You don't even know what to ask or dare Arthur, but the alternative is to get naked yourself. Either way, you're in trouble.

The round goes on and on, both of you putting on more cards rather than losing them, but then the game turns in Arthur's favor until he forgets to say Uno. You have better luck then, finally winning the round. 

This time, it's you who tries to offer a way out. "Look, you don't have-"

"No, no, that's what we agreed on," Arthur says, waving his fingers at you. "Come on, ask."

"Alright, truth, or dare?"

Arthur studies you for a moment, his gaze so intense that a cold shiver runs down your spine. "Dare."

All kinds of stupid things run through your mind, but you don't want to make Arthur look foolish, especially in front of anybody else. You want to keep him all to yourself.

"I dare you not to move, no matter what."

Arthur raises his eyebrows in surprise but stays deliberately still. You take all your courage and crawl over to him, scattering the cards without a second thought. 

When you reach Arthur, you run your cheek along his one like a cat before placing soft kisses along his neck. You hear him take in a sharp breath, but he doesn't move. 

You look up to him, and he keeps still as you move closer, your lips hovering so close to his that you can feel his breath. It takes all your willpower not to kiss him, but you're still playing after all.

"Your turn," you say, looking right into Arthur's eyes. They're a nice shade of blue but with an almost golden circle in the middle.

"Truth or dare?" Arthur asks.

"Dare," you say way too fast.

Arthur's lip twitches into a smile, but he still doesn't move. "I dare you to come closer."

You crawl into Arthur's lap, very aware of the fact that only a tiny piece of fabric keeps you apart. With your arms around Arthur's neck, you make yourself comfortable, but your faces are still inches apart. 

"Truth or dare?" you ask.

"The truth is that I didn't say Uno on purpose," Arthur says. You believe him, which means that he wanted for this little game to start. 

"Trickery," you say, running your fingers through his hair, "how very naughty of you. I think that entitles me to dare you again."

"Sounds fair."

You move even closer, your fingers teasing Arthur's neck. "I dare you to touch me."

Arthur places his hands on your knees before running them up to your thighs. You get goosebumps all over your skin and can't help that you fidget a little. The friction takes its toll on Arthur. You can feel him pressing up against you while he runs his hands up along your body.

"Truth or dare?" he asks, his fingers dancing over your back.

"Truth. I want you to kiss me."

Arthur caresses your shoulders while he looks at you, his fingers climbing your neck in slow motion. The touch makes you shiver, but you stay right where you are, letting Arthur cup your face with his hands. Only when there's a barely-there pull, you move, finally closing the gap between you and Arthur.

You can't remember the last time someone kissed you this gently, and you melt against Arthur, promising yourself to stay in his lap for as long as you possibly can.

Arthur deepens the kiss, the taste, and warmth of him making you forget where you are until there's a harsh knock on the door.

"Hey, Y/N? You in there? It's me."

You feel like being doused with ice water, and your fingers dig harshly into Arthur's shoulders.

"Who's that?" he whispers, worry in his expression.

"My ex," you whisper back.

"Come on, let's talk," comes the voice from outside.

Arthur raises his eyebrows in question, and you immediately shake your head, so he tilts his head to face the door. "Do you mind? We're trying to hook up in here."

There's silence, and you bite your lip so you won't laugh. Sadly, your ex doesn't give up that easily. "Who is this?"

"It's Arthur; you might want to remember that name the next time you skulk around somebody's apartment."

It's silent again, then your ex clears their throat. "Just call me, okay? We can talk about this?"

You look at Arthur, slightly shaking your head, so you both stay quiet until you're sure your ex is gone. Arthur leans back with a sigh, resting his head against the couch. "That was not a turn on."

"I'm sorry," you say, running your fingers over his beard. "Like I said - annoying."

Arthur watches the ceiling for a bit before he takes your hands, threading your fingers together. "You know, I have an apartment, too. No exes hanging around that one."

You laugh. "Getting me naked here doesn't mean you can get me naked over there."

"I just borrow these cards, and we'll see what happens."

He kisses you again, and you have to admit to yourself that you'd rip your clothes off in an instant if he asked you to. You still act like you need to be persuaded. "Fine, you may take me there and try again. You might lose, though."

Arthur smiles. "I'll take that risk."

Getting dressed has never been such a thrill for you. Maybe the new year wasn't so bad after all.

[cattles-bians]

exes au part 12

post directory

obsetress: don’t ask why i had this thought because i couldn’t tell you but

obsetress: jamie wakes up in the middle of the night one night and is like “i... had a dream. about vi”

obsetress: and dani’s like “ok baby” and just nuzzles deeper into her pillow and jamie’s like

obsetress: “no, dani, a... a dream”

obsetress: and dani’s like “oh. oh” and is immediately wide awake and bright eyed

obsetress: and is like “was it any good?” and jamie is just. already flushed so red and flushed deeper and dani just hums

em: sighs wistfully

em: i also love that something compels jamie to tell dani Immediately

em: oh the perils of begrudgingly being friends w ur gfs ex

em: jamies like um. no see i can see all these different things my brain mashed together and WHY i had this dream and danis like ok but that wasn’t my question....

obsetress: jamie finally throws up her hands “of course it was”

em: jamie: And You Can’t Tell Vi She’ll Be Insufferable

obsetress: dani, very plainly, at brunch the next morning: so vi

obsetress: jamie looks like she’s going to have a heart attack and dani lets her sweat and then just smiles sweetly “i like those sunglasses. are they new?”

em: jamie what’s the problem (nothin. indigestion)

obsetress: dani very smug n thinks she’s very funny

obsetress: (she is a little funny)

em: one of jamies many ‘oh that’s why they dated’ moments

obsetress: “fookin sick, the both of ya”

em: idk why you had this thought but i’m GREATLY amused

obsetress: skskksksks right

obsetress: jamie explaining her dream to dani in great detail afterwards

obsetress: dani sitting there nodding and hmming “oh that sounds like her. no, she wouldn’t do that. now THAT she would be very good at, you’d like it”

em: i need a moment

em: jamie thinks the dark hides her massive fucken blush but it Doesn’t

em: dani can feel her heating up

obsetress: jamie “i don’t ask you to do this” dani “you’re not stopping me”

em: dani critiquing jamies sex dream is such a fucken funny concept sjdhdkhdkdhdkc

obsetress: RIGHT

obsetress: i’m dying

em: dani: oh no that’s OOC

obsetress: she wouldn’t have a riding crop jamie, it’s 2021, not 16—

em: jamie: it’s a wet dream do u really think it’s gonna have beta readers and a three act structure

em: dani hums

obsetress: dani: well did you enjoy it

obsetress: jamie: i— dani: did you?

obsetress: jamie mumbling yeah

em: jamies like i’m gonna interrogate dani next time, see how she feels- but she forgets dani is incapable of feeling shame

obsetress: like dani wouldn’t just launch into a ramble

---

em: viola

obsetress: fuck

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: to jamie, specifically,

em: to jamie specifically andhdjhdjd

em: once again ironic jamvi has turned, in my brain, into ‘yes and....’ jamvi

—-

obsetress:

obsetress: jamie sending this to viola n vi's like

obsetress: she doesn't get it because she's convinced her taste is immaculate

---

em: anyway this is ooc even for exes au but i keep thinking abt like. jamie tryna crack how old viola is (she cant be 34 im 30 it doesnt make sense) and going through her fb timeline like. 'aha! motivational quotes. gotta be late 30s' and danis either like

em: danis either like 'you have a notebook where you write down all the quotes you like baby' OR shes like haha ok thats fair (posts another motivational quote on her fb)

obsetress: god i love that so much

obsetress: both of those dani responses are

obsetress: honestly porque no los dos if we're already going ooc

obsetress: i do think the first bit "gotta crack it she can't be 34 i'm 30 it doesn't make sense" is in character fwiw

em: obviously i was inspired by ur post in the milf channel abt viola always saying shes 35

em: big brain

—-

obsetress: this is literally just. exes au rebecca

obsetress: down to the caption

obsetress: vi and rebecca patiently staging like full photoshoots for each other every time one of them wants a pic otp: i'm not high maintenance, you're just low effort

---

em: bold 2 say that we don’t think about jamie and vi tho

em: gotta keep some sorta. presentation of respectability

em: they absolutely couldn’t date tho

obsetress: lmao ikr

obsetress: yeah no they'd kill each other

obsetress: now just thinking of silly circumstances and um

obsetress: rebecca's out of town and dani's flying back from some iowa thing jamie couldn't get away for to go with

obsetress: and viola's like "oh, just stay at ours, it's closer and i'll get you a car"

obsetress: and just like

obsetress: imagining the two of them cohabitating at vi's for a night

em: jamie sneaking around at night tryna find the bathroom and runs straight into vi in a face mask and a dangerously low dressing gown Again

obsetress: the parallels to canon

obsetress: im giggling

obsetress: walks straight into her path

em: opens a door. sees something she doesn’t want to see. immediately turns and walks away

em: god the face mask would make her look like the lady in the lake

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: vi wants to go out to dinner, jamie's just like "i'm already getting up early to go to the airport, can't we just have an easy night in"

em: what did i say before. that thing abt if ur friends w damie you will inevitably walk in on them

obsetress: god yeah

em: flip of that.

obsetress: oh GOD

em: god they would argue about dinner

em: bicker about EVERYTHING

em: dani and rebecca both make the married couple joke

em: jamie goes pale

obsetress: wait sorry i just went back to tahirahs insta post and like

obsetress: katie parker commented and was like "i love these shots of you" and she was like "thanks luv " and i'm like

obsetress: why does this....... still track........... with exes au...............

em: perdy is always a little too flirty w vis paramours

obsetress: always! except dani for whatever reason

obsetress: she's just scared of dani

em: Please

obsetress: rebecca's like "i don't see what the problem is. she can do what she wants, but you trust me, don't you?" "of course i trust you" rebecca shrugs "that's it then, isn't it?"

obsetress: anyway vi huffs n crosses her arms n pouts a little bit and is like "well i don't want her to"

obsetress: rebecca is endeared and uses the opportunity to her advantage like the top leaning switch she is

em: dani rebecca parallels: always dtf

obsetress: perdi and vi fighting and vi's like "are you even gay? or do you just want what i have?" and perdi is like "does it matter?"

em: are you even gay perdi nahdkdhdkdhd

em: perdi is like you KNOW about jamie and viola crinkles her nose bc she forgot about that and she’s starting to respect jamie as a person

obsetress: djflakdkfjldkadjLDJFLSKDFJLSDKFJx

obsetress: i screeched

em: viola: you only MET jamie because i hired her for landscaping you fucking-

obsetress: just thinking about perdita watching jamie working on some property sweating in a tank top and Deciding

em: bringing out some lemonade etc

em: haha you look parched

obsetress: smiling widely, turning on the charm

obsetress: jamie is very attractive and very swoonworthy, but perdita 100% only goes for it because she refuses to let viola have one (1) thing

obsetress: and that extends to lesbianism

em: viola's like no this is normal right. siblings competing. rivalries etc and danis like uh i’m an only child and jamies like uh i raised my brother

em: they don’t know how to tell her sure it happens but it’s also extremely fucken weird vi

obsetress: jamie: you have to tell her dani: why do i have to tell her jamie: you tell her everything dani: i don't tell her–– ok, i tell her most things. i'm not sure i want to tell her this though jamie: why not dani: she's not... she's not gonna like it jamie: So You Might Be A People Pleaser,

em: jamie: i can’t tell her. she’s only just forgotten the perdi thing. what if she remembers i’ve

em: in depth character study of viola and perdi’s fucked up rivalry

em: violas like goddamn it do i have to fuck jamie to get even

obsetress: i––

em: she decides against it

em: jamie is none the wiser

obsetress: she Considers it tho

em: jamie would die on the spot if she knew

obsetress: weighs the pros and cons

obsetress: the best part is like

obsetress: this is all post-danvi and pre-damie right so when dani n jamie see rebecca and vi at that video store

obsetress: viola's like wait.

obsetress: wait

obsetress: dani ending up with the hot gardener her sister fucked because she has bizarre jealousy and possession issues is really just the cherry on top of a shit sundae

em: the funniest part of all our very tangled lore is like

em: none of it contradicts bc it’s even funnier when it’s Extremely Ugly And Messy

em: because lesbians are just... like that

---

obsetress: exes au au where viola did fuck jamie, the video rental shop scene is 100 times more awkward

em: don’t think about it don’t think about it dont

em: i am thinking about it

em: jamie has to deal with having been railed by all three of them instead of just the two

em: it feels very uneven to her bc rebeccas a doll, dani, u don’t understand, and ur only running into one ex,

obsetress: talk about the mortifying ordeal of being known

obsetress: "wait, that's your ex?" "yeah" "dani" "what" "dani" "what" jamie's voice is hushed but a lil pitchy and a lot panicky "i think i fucked your ex" "you think?" "i fucked your ex" "you fucked her or she fucked you? because i'm sorry, baby, but i really don't think––"

em: sorry, baby, but i really don’t think-

em: SCREAMED

obsetress: that might be my fave lil bit i've ever written adlfkjasdklf

em: dani being a little too interested in jamie getting railed is like. everything to me

obsetress: jamie's already big blushing

em: a little secret between hannah obsetress and em cowlesbian but i am So thinking abt it

em: patreon exclusive exes au au

[em edit: you can imagine how long this lasted]

obsetress: no one is happy about this situation except dani, who is delighted

em: after, jamie's like. what did u mean by u don’t think that...

em: puffs out her chest

em: i could have-

em: danis like yeah but i know u didn’t did u

obsetress: dani clayton ilu

em: danis like um

em: completely unprompted bc dani ‘finishes a conversation 5 hours later’ is really funny to me

em: danis like i did tho

em: jamies like can you DROP IT

em: she’s SMUG

em: she’s so pleased w herself

obsetress: in bed with the lights off jamie's pulling the sheets up and closing her eyes afterthought

obsetress: just a happy lil hum and an "i did, though"

obsetress: and jamie knows IMMEDIATELY what she's talking about

em: dani never lets jamie live it down

obsetress: never!

obsetress: they'll be washing dishes one day "hey baby?" "hmm" "you slept with a landlord"

em: oh um. flipping the whole ‘experienced jamie virginal dani’ trope everyone loves but

em: i love the idea of dani being like hey jamie did u ever- and jamies like (grumbles) does it matter

em: dani is mentally applying a gold star to her chart

obsetress: ksdljfskdfjlsdjflksdjaf

obsetress: the gold star

em: at this point dani is absolute just tryna tease jamie so she’s like oh well when- and jamies like ok i get it

em: jamie Pretends not to be a little interested

obsetress: meanwhile vi and rebecca very matter of factly swapped stories the first day they Realized

obsetress: vibecca swapping stories and their stories complimenting each other so well that they're like well. hmm

obsetress: glad those two found each other

em: two praise kinks u say

em: ok sorry one more thought i’m thinking abt like

em: jamie staying over (idk if this is before or during damie) and viola and perdi are having yet another spat on the phone and violas like

em: no you ALWAYS do this, whatever you think you’re doing with rebecca-‘ and she barely hears some muffled sorta ‘oh, sorry, remember jamie-

em: and jamies doing the maths. hmm

em: jamies like actually i refuse to examine this further. self care

em: brings it up with dani later and dani LOSES her shit laughing

em: haha jamie you got willoughby’ed

obsetress: SCREAMS

obsetress: you got willoughby'd

obsetress: how does one get willoughbyd asking for a friend

em: yeah same asking for a friend

obsetress: dani, gigglesnorting: wait, you hooked up with... with perdi?

obsetress: (dani hates perdita because viola hates perdita and it is a deep seated hatred she refuses to unlearn)

obsetress: a loyalty strange and enduring, despite it all

em: to be fair perdi is the Worst

em: all of these characters i love to make sympathetic and then perdi is where i draw the line akdhdkhd

em: it’s funnier if she’s awful

em: like a viola that never gets therapy

obsetress: lldjfkaskldfj god same

obsetress: it's too good

em: danis like wait hold on. lemme get a pen

em: makes a silly little chart

em: if the fandom tries to make jamie into a shane the l word character i will simply take that and make jamie mortified abt her uh. well! a pretty girl is nice to her and she forgets how to behave

em: jamie's like oh sure like u don’t have embarrassing flings- and danis like yeah but i don’t interact w them on a daily basis jamie

em: also i didn’t fuck perdi

obsetress: skskskflsdflks

obsetress: "you did fuck perdi though, right? because that just be embarrassing, jamie, if she had been the one who..."

em: skgsdjhdkdhdk

em: jamie grumbles something abt pillow princesses and dani like

em: CLAPS her hands in glee

obsetress: jlsdjflkJSDFKJSDFJ

obsetress: GOD

obsetress: she's immediately pulling out her phone to text vi

em: jamies like why would u message her sister that u freak n danis like oh no theyre very open with each other it’s uh. hmm. anyway

[bandaged-writer]

can u do jouno, yosano, and nikolai hcs with an adorable, sweet s/o who is really horny and gets flustered easily but is really shy about asking for it (Like the other rq you wrote)? I saw those hcs you wrote when browsing the tag and they were really cute and your writing is so good 🥺🥺

Thank you so much, nonnie <3 Tbh, I breathed for writing Jouno and Nikolai’s hcs, so if you have a request including the two, pls drop it!

Warnings: nsfw-ish/suggestive themes, dirty talk

Jouno Saigiku

➤ You can’t hide shit from Jouno. That man’s got heavily enhanced senses of hearing and smell, so he’ll know you’re horny just by the faster beating of your heart or the smell of wetness between your legs.

➤ Jouno is a very composed man unless Tecchou tests his patience and goes on about the day like nothing’s out of the ordinary. He knows you’re more of a shy kind of person and struggle to ask him for things that include the two of you sleeping together, so Jouno waits for your horniness to reach its peak until you can’t help but spit it out.

➤ “Now, was it so hard to admit that you want me?”

➤ Takes some kind of entertainment of you being about to ask him to rail you, but you stumble over your words, blush and tell him to forget that this situation had ever happened. Usually, he’d lose his temper and tell the person to hurry the hell up, but you’re a different story. He keeps you very close to his heart and is somehow much more patient with you; especially because he wants to get you out of your shell.

➤ Jouno will approach you about it if you manage to keep your mouth shut about it and you join him in bed more hesitantly and with your heart basically pounding within your ribcage. You acted like this was the first time the two of you shared a bed, although it clearly wasn’t and Jouno prefers your heart beating in a calm manner when joining him and not in a nearly erratic state.

➤ “So, when were you going to tell me that you’ve been soaking all day?” He’s pretty blunt about it, absolutely no shame whatsoever. You gotta live with it.

➤ “Hah?! T-this must be your i-imagination!” You’d search for excuses and shamefully sink into the blankets until they’d reach the apple of your cheeks. You knew that hiding the fact that you want Jouno in more ways than one was useless, so why the hell did you think you’d be getting out of this smoothly?

➤ “Your heart rate just jumped considerably, [Name]. You’re so easy to read, it’s actually cute.” Jouno would tilt your head upwards and stroke his thumb along your jawline and down your neck to feel your pulse thumping against his skin in anticipation. 

➤ It’d seem like he’s leaning in for a kiss but ends up kissing the corner of your lips, knowing that it’ll cause you to kiss him properly. Jouno knows how to play you and make your patience snap, no matter how shy you are.

➤ Really enjoys the beating of your calming heart once he’s done with you and you’re close to falling asleep on him.

Yosano Akiko

➤ Luckily for you, Yosano isn’t a whole ass Jouno and you’ll be able to brush it off and she’ll believe you. After all, you’re a more reserved person and she trusts you enough to come to her if something is bothering you.

➤ Yosano will notice your typical “I’m horny but can’t confess it” signs when you’re a little bit more jumpy whenever her knee would touch yours or when she’d place her hand on your thigh. Ultimately, it’s your shivering, bitten lips and the heavy blush that is a dead giveaway.

➤ The second biggest tease about her discovery. Her touch would linger a little longer than appropriate and when no one was within hearing range, she’d whisper dirty nothing in your ear and bask in your reaction. Yosano absolutely loves seeing you flustered, especially when it’s at work and not at home where such a thing would be more appropriate.

➤ “[Name], I think we can cut the ice-cream for today. I’d rather have you melt on my tongue once we get home.”

➤ You’d jump in your seat, face red and mouth agape like a fish on land. You couldn’t quite believe your ears and how your body reacted to her words so easily. It was actually a bit unfair how Yosano had you so strung up by saying a couple of words while you couldn’t say such things; it was simply embarrassing.

➤ That would continue for quite some time and you were excited about going home for very obvious reasons, but it turns out that you wouldn’t have to wait that long. Tanizaki asked you to bring some documents to Yosano and of course, you didn’t decline his request.

➤ As soon as you step foot into the infirmary, Yosano locks the door and pushes you up against its hard surface, scolding you for being such a tease yourself. “It’s a shame that I’ll have to ruin your cute facade right here, but you have to stay quiet for me, alright?”

➤ You have a hard time explaining to your colleagues why your hair is a mess and why your legs are basically jello.

Nikolai Gogol

➤ He’s the biggest tease out of the three. Nikolai’s very observant and as soon as he realizes that what you want is him, you’re in for quite the show. Literally.

➤ At first it’s all cute and games. He squishes your red cheeks together and cutely coos at you. “[Name], you’re the cutest for wanting me, you know? Especially when you’re all blushy and shy about it!” 

➤ Nikolai gets straight to business and doesn’t wait for you to voice out your want or teases you with words like Yosano. He immediately leads you into the bedroom and makes you stand in front of the mirror, ordering you to watch closely as his next trick includes you as his “assistant”. You want to question him what he’s about to do, but a magician doesn’t tell anyone anything about their tricks. 

➤ “Today’s big question is: Where is [Name]  the most sensitive today!” 

➤ “Nikolai, what the hell-”

➤ “Hush or you’ll ruin the magic and I’ll have to punish you.”

➤ Super touchy and gropes you everywhere. Nikolai knows your weak spots and will find the one that draws the loudest reaction out of you. His mouth is on your neck, sucking color into the skin and nibbling but then goes “Hm, looks like this might not be it” when it’s only a whimper slipping your lips.

➤ Continues by gradually undressing you in front of the mirror, fondling your breasts, squeezing your waist and letting his fingers graze the skin of your thighs. He lives for chasing you to the edge until you plead for Nikolai to stop fucking around and properly touch you.

➤ Has the time of his life teasing you and watching you drip down your thighs. Not only does he get to see you naked, but he can also practice his speech skills for his next magic trick. 

➤ Bonus because he knows that you get fed up with his constant teasing at some point and boldly tell him to just fuck you into the next week. It’s a stark contrast to your usual shyness and Nikolai adores whenever the bolder you makes an appearance. It honestly excites him.

➤ Whenever you’re too shy to ask for it, Nikolai can fluster you in two ways. It’s either the dumb or hot way and there’s no in-between.

➤ “If you’re not gonna tell me what you want, I can think of a few ways to make you talk and put your mouth to better use.”

➤ “Wanna see how I can make my dick disappear inside you?”

[weasleypogues]

the new carrera (j.m.)

request: could you do one where y/n is kie’s adopted sister&hangs around the pogues? She takes a liking to jj. One day, they’re swimming at John b’s, she watches jj get out of the water. Kie says that she isn’t being discreet. He catches her gaze. Later, she goes down to the dock to help clean up. He says that he saw her watching him earlier&he asks why. She says that she likes him&he says that he likes her too. They share their first kiss&become a couple. Then it leads to something more.

i hope u enjoy this!! i actually had a lot of fun giving kie a sister but i really hope i got the timeline and everything correct! if not than we’ll just use our imagination aha

i also got very carried away so im sorry for the length of it lol

masterlist.

mike and anna carrera welcomed you into their family with open arms. after neglection from your birth parents and being taken in by the state, foster care was the only option. half way through freshman year and into sophomore year was when your foster parents mike and anna took care of you. their daughter kiara was away at something they called “kook academy”? it took you a while to figure out the slang in the outer banks but soon realized that it was almost like a boarding school for rich kids. even though she was there, you still headed to the local public high school to continue your education but you didn’t really care. all you knew was that you kept your head down and tried to blend in as much as possible. 

a part of you longed for kiara’s company to help guide the way through the social standards in the outer banks and get a first hand experience from someone your own age, but alas, you were alone. 

it didn’t take long for the state to come to the terms that mike and anna were your safest bet to a happier and fulfilling life out of foster care. this lead to your final adoption into the carrera family and you were ecstatic to say the least.

the day kiara came home was the day that the papers were signed and the only thing racking your brain was the approval of you into her family, being as she was an only child. as you walked downstairs from your bedroom to see mike and anna holding a cake with candles, you spotted kiara next to them with a wide smile and you were filled with happiness. this is all you ever wanted. 

you and kiara clicked immediately. after late night talks getting to know each other intricately, it seemed meant to be.

“why do i feel like we were meant to sisters? like obviously we aren’t blood but there has to be a reason that this happened.” kiara exclaimed one night at 3:46 am as you both laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling. your heart bursted inside of your chest and tears welled in your eyes. 

“it’s gotta be fate, kie.” you answered shortly, because if you spent any more of your breath speaking longer you were sure that a small happy sob would erupt from your mouth. you felt kie’s hand next to yours and simultaneously linked your pinky’s together as a light breeze came through her open window. the stars and moon lightly illuminated the room and this felt like an actual movie. 

you didn’t realize you would get this lucky.

the next morning kiara explained to you that she really really wanted to introduce you to the rest of the pogues. summers with them was always the best time of her life and she wanted to include you in those memories. you agreed without hesitation.

“so pack a bag and they’ll pick us up at the dock in 30!” kiara said, placing her dishes in the dishwasher and taking the last sip from her water.

“wait, do they know i’m coming?” you asked, scared that maybe you were barging in on their plans or maybe they didn’t want you coming in the first place.

“yes, (y/n)! don’t worry! you’re gonna love them.” she replied with a smile and with that, you both went to pack bags and coolers for the day on the marsh. 

you rubbed your nervously sweaty hands on the side of your shorts as you waited by the front door for kie. she walked down in a tie-dye shirt and shorts, picking up her backpack and cooler that she left packed at the bottom of the stairs.

“do you think i should be fine with wearing this?” you asked kiara nervously, comparing your outfit to hers.

“yes, (y/n/n)! don’t stress, we’re practically wearing the same thing!” she responded with a chuckle before opening up the front door. you glanced down at your white graphic tee and jean shorts with birkenstocks and let out a breath you had been holding in. you weren’t sure why you were stressing so much. was it because you were about to be faced with three random guys? or maybe they would recognize you from school and associate their thought of you with the weird quiet girl? or maybe they’re the type of people that doesn’t like a person until said person gives them a reason to like them? you blinked hard, trying to clear your thoughts of any anxious feelings and just had to prepare yourself for a good day on a boat. 

“hey boys!” kiara called out as you two walked down the wooden ramp to the boat that wasn’t stopping for you and kiara to board. if i slip and fall trying to get onto the moving boat i might just ask mike and anna to unadopt me and runaway to avoid embarrassment. 

“you got my kind of juice boxes kie?” the blonde one asked. you associated this as jj as kiara gave you a quick rundown last night of everyone’s names and personalities. she laughed and rolled her eyes at his question.

“as a matter of fact, yes i do.” kiara said as she took the blondes hand to help her onto the boat. process of elimination you knew that pope wasn’t the white guy driving the boat and you gave him a small smile and thank you as he held out a hand for you to board. 

“boys, this is my new sister, (y/n)! (y/n), these are my boys.” kiara introduced you guys, with a proud tone. before they could say anything you put your hands up to stop them.

“kie tried quizzing me last night so let me try to get this before you guys say anything. so john b, pope, and jj?” you inquired, pointing to them in the correct order as you announced their name.

“impressive.” pope said with a smile and with his eyebrows raised.

“taught her well, i see.” john b followed up, his eyes staying on the marsh.

“sooo, (y/n). what shit did kiara warn you about us?” jj asked playfully as he caught a beer bottle kiara threw towards his direction.

“uhh, you sure you guys wanna know?” you asked in a tone that would definitely put them on edge because you were messing with them. all of their faces were a mixture of being intrigued, shocked, and slightly offended at the thought that kiara only told you bad things.

“i’m joking, all the good stuff. don’t worry.” you responded, leaning back as you took a sip from your water bottle.

“so (y/n), think you can get used to our pogue life quickly?” john b asked, glancing over to you quickly and than back to the marcsh in front of him. 

“fingers crossed.” you said as you lifted your eyebrows and chuckled. your eyes followed jj’s body as he made his way to the front of the boat. groans all escaped the groups mouth besides yours as they realized what he was doing.

pope made his way to move to the back to use john b as a shield. kiara watched from her seat, almost accepting her fate.

“here we go again....” john b somewhat yelled out as the engine became louder. your eyebrows furrowed together as you watched jj lift his beer in front of his face at an angle without it touching his lips. the beer spewed out of the bottle, as he tried to aim in his mouth. this however, didn’t end well because you felt beer spill all over you and into your eyes, a slight yell coming from your mouth. 

you and kiara exchanged a glace as your eeyes were wide but you couldn’t help the smile forming on your face. both of you simultaneously looked back to john b who mouthed ‘hold on’ and you didn’t hesitate to grab onto the nearest thing that would stop you from being launched anywhere further.

john b brought the boat to a sudden halt and jj went flying into the air, a loud spalsh following, soaking you more than the beer did. the four of you laughed as you, kie and pope ran to the front of the boat to watch him emerge from the water.

“fuck you john b.” jj seemed to mutter out as he groaned. kiara made her way to john b to help him anchor the boat as pope put out his hand for jj to take. as he took his sweet time swimming back to the boat, you quickly took off your shirt and shorts, revealing your bathing suit and jumped right into the semi-cold water. the water was almost a shock to you and you quickly swam up to catch your breath. when jj hopped back on the boat was when john b and pope jumped in with excited faces right after you. 

“kie, come on! the water feels great.” you called out to your new sister. as kiara took off her shirt and shorts, ready to jump in after you, you watched jj walk right in front of her, stopping her in her path. he was saying something to her that you couldn’t make out because of john b and pope speaking right next to you and splashing, but also because you were too focused on him.

you admired the way little droplets of water rolled down his toned back or dropped from the tips of his blonde hair. you watched the way he reached into the cooler and pulled out two cans of beer and handed one to kie, and how the bracelets covering his wrists would slide slightly up and down depending on how his hand was moving. he quickly turned back around but you still didn’t feel the need to pull your eyes away from his body, subtly checking him out. 

the only thing that snapped you out of it was when jj hollered out to you three in the water. “i said that kie can only go in the water under the circumstance that she shotguns this beer with me beforehand.” and with that he caught your eyes and gave you a smirk and a wink. your face would feel hot if it wasn’t for the cold water you had submerged yourself in. you smiled and kept yourself afloat to watch them shotgun. it only took 6 seconds for them to finish the beers and the threw the cans on the floor of the boat, jumping in immediately.

the rest of the day was filled with swimming and messing around. they made you feel welcomed immediately. you didn’t feel the need to censor anything you say around them to fit in, really because they didn’t censor themselves in the first place in front of a stranger. kiara had the best friends ever and you were excited for what this would bring in the future. the next couple of hours seemed to fly by and it wasn’t long until you all sat silently, taking in the sunset as john b drove the boat back to his house. your skin felt warm although the breeze cooled you down. all the guys seemed almost eager to get off the boat to settle on steady land in john b’s house and you stayed back to walk with kiara.

“i don’t care if you are into jj or not. but if you want this to be a little secret, i would suggest not being so obvious next time.” kiara teased you as you took her hand to hop off the boat onto the dock.

“fuck, really? thats kinda embarrassing...” you replied, feeling your face get warm as you tugged at your hair at the root in deep thought. 

“just be careful with him. he’s kinda into hookup culture.” kiara responded, and you felt your heart sink slightly. you were never the one to be into just hooking up and that’s it. and if you were, you didn’t want that to happen with jj. you liked the idea of jj and thought he was fun, loyal, and spontaneous to and with his friends. you joked here and there as you and kie made your way into john b’s house, placing down your bags to relax yourselves on the couch.

although, you quickly patted down your shorts pockets and looked through your backpack. “fuck, i think i left my phone on the boat. cool if i go back to look for it?” you asked, your question really being targeted towards john b as it was his boat. john b nodded and quickly swallowed his water before waving his hand for you to go.

“here, i’ll help you go look for it.” jj said as he stood up, leaving his spot next to pope on the couch. you gave him a small smile before you both made your way out of the house and down the front stairs. your heart raced as the walk down to the boat was silent. should i say something? does he hate the silence? if he hated to the silence he could say something if we wanted to. maybe i should say something....

jj hopped onto the boat with ease and held out a hand to help you on and steady yourself which you gladly took. “what does it look like?”

“it has a clear case and it’s a white phone.” you responded, searching the back of the boat while he searched the front.

“you know....i saw you looking at me earlier after i hopped back on the boat.” jj stated, walking towards you as he waved your phone in his hands. you, maybe too quickly, shot up and looked at him before grabbing it out of his hands.

“ohh, uh, aha. you did?” you responded, feeling awkward. kie was right, you weren’t really being discreet. “it’s just that-”

“i kinda liked it.” jj spoke confidently, giving you a small smirk. you let out a deep breath and couldn’t fight back the smile you were holding back. “i think you’re really cute, y’know.”

“i gotta say the same to you, maybank.” you said, feeling this new found confidence come out of nowhere. jj didn’t hesitate leaning in and placing his lips on yours. you felt your heart flutter but kissed right back immediately. you left your left hand make it’s way to the nape of his neck while your right one rested on his chest. he held your waist and slightly pulled you closer to him, making you smile slightly into the kiss.

it felt instant but also an eternity when you two pulled away. “is this what you pogues do often? because i could get used to it.” you joked and smiled, as he rolled his eyes playfully and laughed in response.

you really could get used to him doing that.

so i didn’t wanna make them end up together bc it was so soon but im happy with that ending lol, i hope u liked it <3

[lovelyirony]

Through flames and oceans (for the fic title)

u know. this was supposed to not go the direction it did. but it did. 

People say they will do a lot for love. They will walk through flames, cross an entire ocean for love.

Bruce tells himself that that’s the stupidest fucking thing people say. He, for one, will not do that. There is also the unspoken reason of that love really isn’t in the cards for him.

Currently, he’s running away from his ex-girlfriend’s dad, General Ross, because he may or may not have done some experimentation and turned into a rage monster, but also revealed some state secrets.

Come on, can you blame him? Cosmo said twenty-year-olds need to accomplish something before they hit thirty. And he’s quite sure he just made the list.

But as for love, he is thinking about it right now because his ex-girlfriend found a very nice girl named Valkyrie, and they’re kind of set to have an engagement party, and “would you please come to the United States to help us celebrate?”

Betty is a wonderful woman, really and truly. And Bruce is okay with how their relationship ended, because it’s not like Bruce could come to family dinner and expect anything besides murder or maybe cold potatoes. And Betty deserved someone far better than him, and from the picture that was sent, it looks like Valkyrie is an amazing catch.

But there is the small matter of making it to the States without getting caught. He is on quite a lot of “no-fly” and “travel restrictive” protocols. This sucks, by the way. He had frequent flier miles saved up and everything.

It sucks, at least, until he remembers Tony’s number and calls it.

(Tony had given him his number, but sometimes he forgets that four and nine are two distinctly different numbers.)

“Brucie, baby! What can I get for you? Don’t worry, the government hasn’t been able to tap my phone calls since I was seventeen and mostly joking about finding out where their secret weapons storage is.”

“Betty’s having her engagement party, and I’m invited. I kind of need a ride home.”

“Where are you located at, right now?”

“Buenos Aires.”

“You lucky son of a bitch, god I miss it there. You having a good time?”

“When I’m avoiding government agents, yes.”

“Hm, well i’m sending a new employee of mine to go and get you. Big guy, probably Swedish.”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t presume if someone’s Swedish or not, Bruce. I’m a terrible person, but not that terrible.”

“I...I don’t follow your sense of humor.”

“No one does, that’s why celebrities call me avant garde and ahead of my time.”

“Good to know. What’s your new guy’s name?”

“Thor.”

“Are you...are you fucking with me?”

"Darling, you’d be having a much better time if I was.”

“I don’t like the energy we’re manifesting here,” Bruce deadpans.

Tony snorts. “Okay, hippie. He’ll be there by tomorrow morning. Just stay tight where you are, sugar.”

-

Thor is a gigantic man. He parts crowds like it’s what he was meant to do, and maybe it is. Bruce stares up at him.

“Hello Dr. Banner,” Thor says, smiling gently. “You are Dr. Ross’s friend, right?”

“Um...yeah. I am.”

“Excellent. I’m a friend of Valkyrie’s, is it okay if I go ahead and fly out to the airport nearest their house?”

“Uh, is Tony okay with that?”

“Of course. And we can stop at your house if you need anything.”

“Oh, I don’t have a house. Or an apartment. You would not believe how much the US government hates my credit score.”

Thor chuckles a little bit, leading him back to a nondescript car.

“Right this way.”

-

Thor is cool as a cucumber on the outside, as they’re driving. He’s mindlessly tapping on his phone as Bruce stares out the window.

Inside? Oh, Thor hates Val for this. So much.

so, you didn’t think to send me a picture of dr. banner? just the address?

lmaooooo called it. betty owes me something now. fuckin nerd. just ask him out.

no. we still have to bypass american security

which you are “old hat” at. or did i forget that you nearly almost charmed the pants off of one of the airline people?

we don’t speak of that.

relax. stark’s taking care of it anyway.

The airplane ride home is uneventful, thank god. One of Tony’s jets awaits, and the pilot is very surprised to see a man who ranks number four on America’s Most Wanted List to be there.

“You...you know Tony?”

“And you know what an NDA is,” Tony announces over the intercom. “Bruce, welcome. Mimosas are premade, in stock. Sit back and enjoy the ride! Thor, you do what you gotta do to make sure Bruce stays safe. Enjoy the bridal shower!”

The pilot is a bit apprehensive. But mostly okay. Bruce promises nothing’s going to happen, he’s just going to drink tea and catch up on news about the current state of things.

Bruce gets bored with finding out that things are still terrible, so he talks to Thor.

“So...are your parents just really into Norse mythology, or did they know you’d come out a huge guy who has the potential to probably stop Ragnarok?”

Thor chuckles, the laugh rumbling and deep.

(Okay, that’s hot.)

"My parents’ names were Odin and Frigga. You could say they were traditionalists when it came to my brother and I.”

“You mean...?”

“He embodies the name a bit too well for my taste, but yes.”

“Oh. Wow.”

“Yeah. Let me tell you about the time we accidentally crashed a fashion week thing...” 

Bruce laughs a lot about that story. Thor’s laugh is majestic, and they sit a little bit closer. 

-

By the time the plane lands, they’re great friends and Thor reaches over Bruce in the baggage area and wow that man has very defined muscles. 

Not that that’s important. No, that’s like. Not important at all. So what if Thor is very well-muscled and maybe this will play into Bruce’s intrusive thoughts/daydream thoughts at later intervals? Does not matter. At all. 

(Oh god the man smells like salty ocean air Bruce has got it so so bad. So Bad.) 

- 

Tony greets them at the landing pad with a wide grin, eyes lighting up. 

“Well, don’t you two make the happy couple,” he teases. Bruce turns red. This does not go unnoticed. 

“Bruce, honestly, you run away from government and my friendship, and this is what gets you--” 

“A bridal shower? To get me home? Yes,” Bruce says, cutting in not-at-all smoothly. “Now, where are Betty and her bride staying at?” 

“Oh, they’re staying at the cutest little bed and breakfast for their bridal shower. Rented out the whole thing--well Pepper did, it was our wedding gift to them, and of course I mean Pep’s wedding gift, because I have something else planned-” 

“Please tell me that you do not have a house bought for them,” Thor says. 

“Complete with a laboratory and gymnasium,” Tony says with a wink. “I’m kidding, they already have a house. I just kind of kicked them out for a week while I remodel their entire kitchen. Val gave me the colors, I was surprised that she has taste.” 

“If she hears you say that, she’ll kick your ass.” 

“Which is why she won’t,” Tony reminds Thor. “Now, let’s get to unpacking. Bruce, I’m getting you some good shampoo, holy shit your hair sucks.” 

“Thank you Tony, I love and value our friendship and our kindness towards each other as well,” Bruce deadpans. 

“Oh come on, you have to look good. It’s your ex’s wedding party!” 

“You make us sound so dramatic,” Bruce says with a snort. “We broke up. Big deal.” 

“You and Betty...?” Thor asks. 

“Yeah, but it’s fine. We were dating, and then I pissed off her dad, who happens to be a general. I mean, also the government. But mostly her dad.” 

“Wow.” 

Thor’s type shouldn’t be feral scientist. But it is. 

They’re led inside, and Tony bids them goodbye. 

“Duty calls,” Tony says airily, waving. “Make yourself at home, don’t put coffee grounds down the disposal or I will kick you out. Rogers is still nursing his wounds.” 

“Noted,” Bruce says. 

“I drink tea,” Thor answers. 

Bruce shares a look. 

“You too?” 

“Yeah, I prefer it over coffee most of the time.” 

Bruce smiles. 

“I think we’re going to get along.” 

- 

They have a couple of days until the wedding party, and Thor has never seen New York. Bruce is fairly sure that no one will even see him on the CCTV footage as long as he’s walking next to Thor, so he deems it good enough to go and get a bagel. 

Thor is a very gentle man. That’s a good quality. 

He smiles at a little girl, who is staring, open-mouthed. Even gives her a little wave. Bruce grins. 

“You like kids?” 

“I do. They mostly just want to have fun, want to see what the best of the world is. I think we all need that occasionally.” 

“I’ve never thought of that,” Bruce confesses. He takes a sip of his coffee.

“I love watching my cousins,” Thor continues. “The way they grow and figure it all out, it’s rewarding. What about your family?” 

Bruce freezes. 

“Um. I don’t exactly have a family.” 

“Then you’ll just have to meet some of my cousins,” Thor amends, smiling as he sips his drink. “You’d like them.” 

“I’d like that,” Bruce says, grinning. “What’s next on our New York agenda?” 

"I told Loki I’d visit some stores for him and pick up some items he’s been wanting.” 

-

Have you ever seen a sales associate from Chanel be terrified at your presence? No? It’s worth it. 

Bruce is kind of concerned. 

“I...are you...?” 

“My name is Robert, uncanny similarities,” Bruce responds. “We both were born in Ohio.” 

“Why is it always Ohio,” Thor mutters. “You reckon my brother would want this shoe or that?” 

“Ooh, definitely go with the heel. I think that’s good.”  

“Gotcha.” 

Next shop is Dior. 

This goes a bit out of hand. His whole line about being Robert with Incredible Similarity does not go as planned. 

He and Thor are on a subway, currently running away from some authority figures and calling Tony. 

“I was in the middle of learning drama about high society that I can use in my next romance novel, are you joking?” Tony hisses. 

“You write romance novels?” Thor asks. 

“Now is not the time to question that, I’m in the middle of making sure you get a car to your next stop. How well do you both know what a Chrysler is?” 

“The building, right?” 

“God, I hate you so much,” Tony groans. “No, um...it looks like the wing things that they give army people when they do something that I guess they think is cool.” 

“Oh. Okay. Get in that car?” 

“Yes. It’s gonna be red with silver detailing.”

“Tony, they’re gonna know it’s us.” 

“Believe me, they won’t. Trust me.” 

- 

So as it turns out, it’s not the most ostentatious vehicle. 

Because Tony pulls up in a lifted pick-up truck, painted a sparkling, neon green with bright orange wheels. 

It is the ugliest goddamn thing Bruce has ever seen. Also the most effective. 

Thor nearly shoves Bruce into the car, and they’re sitting too close, and Bruce probably shouldn’t be focusing on the fact that Thor’s hair is now artfully messy, but here he is. Doing that. 

“So, sorry that before the wedding shower we’re being hunted down by the government.” 

“Not the worst thing that I could be doing on a Friday,” Thor says with a shrug. “I think you’re just about the most interesting person I’ve met, Bruce.” 

He smiles at him. Bruce’s heart skips a beat. He can’t tell if it’s because of the eye contact or the fact that they’re in close proximity. Maybe both. 

“You wanna go on a date after all this?” Bruce blurts out. 

He does. And as soon as he says it, he kind of regrets it because they’re in a car with glittery silver interior seats and he’s also in pants that have seen better days, and his hair is a Mess. 

(Also self-esteem issues, but Bruce is used to that so he’s not counting it.) 

“Like, after we get home or when the government gives up on finding you?” 

“I don’t know. Whichever one comes first?” 

“Technically, I think I count as army jurisdiction, and military budget is a fountain of money.” 

“Ah. Then home it is. How do you feel about ordering in?” 

“Mm, sounds good,” Bruce says, grinning. “You’re the best.” 

“Well, I certainly try,” Thor says, grinning right back. “You wanna go to Betty and Val’s shower together?” 

“Yes. Do we have to amend our ‘how-we-met’ story?” 

“Not at all. Valkyrie used to run an underground fight ring. She knows the feeling.” 

“How has that not come up in conversation?” 

“We were kind of preoccupied trying to figure out what a Chrysler car looked like.” 

“Oh, true.” 

- 

At the wedding party, Bruce and Thor are very happy. Betty and Val roll their eyes and laugh as they talk. 

“Leave it to my dad to ruin everything,” Betty gripes. 

“Well he didn’t ruin this party or my meeting Thor,” Bruce defends. “Besides, you know what happens if he steps a foot near you.” 

Betty grins. 

“You serious?” 

“Can’t promise you’ll get your security deposit back, but yes.” 

Betty pulls him into a hug. 

“You’re too sweet to me.” 

“Yeah, tell me that after he steps on the limousine.” 

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry,” Thor says, grinning. “I think Tony has some sort of security feature worked in.” 

“Oh, he does,” Val says. “He’s threatened to pull some of the contracts for safety gear. Won’t go through with it, but Ross can’t touch the wedding. Best gift ever.” 

- 

When the party gets late, Thor and Bruce are sitting out on the porch. Clean-up is happening, and they’re taking a break. Thor thinks that Bruce has never looked more beautiful in a rumpled yellow shirt, soft lights making his face glow. 

“I’m glad I met you,” Thor murmurs, moving a stray curl. 

“Really?” Bruce asks, smiling softly. “I think I’m glad I met you too.” 

- 

Bruce grins behind his door when they make it home. Thor had kissed him on the cheek, and while that wasn’t too big of a deal, it was a big deal to him. 

“See you in the morning, dear,” Thor had told him. 

He was going to be up half the night with that line running through his head. 

- 

A lot of people do a lot of things for love. Bruce still wouldn’t walk through flames, or swim across an entire ocean, but he’s starting to understand. 

[seanfalco]

Duncan Taylor | nsfw alphabet headcanons

Many of you asked for Duncan next, so here y’go, some filthy headcanons for our favourite British 🇬🇧 asshole.

[blank list - x] Headcanon Masterlist

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He’s usually a one night stand kinda guy, get what he wants and get out, so don’t expect him to stay the night or want to cuddle afterwards. However he is surprisingly tender in some small ways, like helping you clean up afterwards, but he’d do it in a brusque aloof way that hides that he might care. What a tsundere lol

There is a caveat, however. I think if he were to actually have feelings for/trust his partner he would be more affectionate -- holding you afterwards, some playful teasing pillow talk (I mean, he is the king of banter after all), falling asleep in your arms, just don’t expect him to be over the top romantic or anything like that, you gotta take what you can get.

B - Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He may be a thin guy, but he’s got pretty toned arms and he likes to show them off. On his partner, I think he’s definitely an ass guy.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes to cum on his partner, doesn’t really matter where, he just likes the sight of them painted in his seed, especially over your ass or face. It drives him crazy to see it roll down your chin before you swallow.

D - Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Don’t tell anyone, but he finds it really hot when you get feisty/mouthy, and though he likes to be in charge in the bed room, it turns him on when you put up a fight for control, suddenly making a move on him/getting a little rough with him (within reason of course).

E - Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Duncan will try to make it come off as if he’s some big player, but let’s face it, he’s a scrawny computer analyst and programmer, so I doubt he gets a lot of action, usually.

F - Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

From behind -- he likes the amount of control this gives him to set the pace, pull on your hair, restrain your arms behind you, ram into you with abandon etc. He also loves being able to slap that ass whenever he feels like it. I can see him also enjoying cowgirl/reverse cowgirl too though. While it gives him less control (though he can still power bottom from here) he likes the view he gets with these positions.

G - Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

More serious, though he still likes his banter. This man pretty much never shuts up.

H - Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Dark pubes, doesn’t care that much about appearances.

I - Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Not really very intimate, especially if he’s taking you from behind. If you end up on top however, you might catch a flash of affection in his gaze and he’ll be inclined to kiss you. If you pay attention though, like with his aftercare, there will be veiled tenderness during the moment, you just have to look for it.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Okay, I think he masterbates quite a bit. Not as much as Nathan would, but still on the higher side. Maybe once every other day or so. Usually in the shower.

K - Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism -- I think he would get off on watching you undress or masterbate without you being aware he was watching.

Bondage -- he loves seeing you restrained, giving him power over you

Degradation (though not like super extreme)

Rough sex -- he likes choking and leaving hickies/bruises/hand prints

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do)

While a bed would be nice, that’s not usually an option when you’re stuck on the space station, so he’ll take you where he can get you. Anywhere slightly secluded where he can bend you over something is his favourite place.

M - Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Like I said earlier, it turns him on when you get feisty. Pushing your buttons and seeing you all riled up just does something for him. He would never admit it, but he finds the challenge sexy and the promise of a chase will always hold his interest. Also a nice tight pair of jeans, or a good eyeful of cleavage never hurts. Trail your fingers over his neck or collarbones and he’s putty in your hands, while deep french kisses and neck kisses also do the trick.

N - NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I don’t see him having any hard no’s, other than he probably wouldn’t be into pain or anything too hardcore.

The easiest way to turn him off is to show too much intimacy too fast. A sudden declaration of feelings, for example, if he doesn’t feel the same will make he want to run.

O - Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Receiving, for sure. He loves the sight of you on your knees and your mouth wrapped around his cock. When he’s giving, it’s… intense. He likes the power he has over you and seeing you squirm for him, often aiming to overstimulate you, forcing a second orgasm.

P - Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough is what Duncan prefers. He likes to toss you around a bit (though you like it too), but he can be persuaded to go slow, again, if he actually has feelings involved, caring about your pleasure more than he would otherwise.

Q - Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies are his thing, as they suit his needs perfectly and he’ll take one anytime he can get one. He probably won’t have proper intimate sex that often and only if he cares for his partner.

R - Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not particularly. He likes what he likes and he doesn’t really care to try new things that often, unless you persuade him. The biggest risk he’ll take is where you have sex. He’s not afraid to do the do in semi-public places.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Not all that high. If he’s incredibly pent up he might be able to last for two rounds, but he’d need to rest inbetween. He doesn’t last long, probably (partially) why quickies are more his jam.

T - Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He’s not much for toys, though he does have a small remote control egg vibrator he’s been dying to use on you.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He likes to tease, but not excessively. He’s too impatient for that and would rather get down to business. Though when he is in a teasing mood, you better watch out because he can be downright evil (in the best way.)

V - Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s not loud, per se, but fuck is he mouthy. So, so much dirty talk. He only quiets when he’s really focused or if it feels especially good. However, if you really wanna hear him moan, go down on him. That’s when he’s the loudest and least coherent.

W - Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

His first time was with a prostitute and it was messy and quick.

X - X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Uncircumcised, 7”, a little on the thin side, but with a slight upturned curve.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Surprisingly not super high? He acts like it is, but I’d say, probably a medium, unless you start in on teasing him, trying to rile him up.

Z - ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Fairly quickly, since his stamina’s not exactly the highest. He’ll usually be out before you and if he trusts you enough to fall asleep with you, he tends to fall asleep on you, on his stomach draped over your chest is his favourite.

[clumsyclifford]

i would love to read a mashton fic based on vegas, which is an idea that has been in my head since you sent it in for the playlist! i particularly like the lyrics “from coast to coast, I’ll make the most / of every second I’ve been giving with this crowd, / without a doubt, you’re all I dream about” but i would be happy no matter what you wrote

right okay well i have plans to one day write a longer better vegas fic but im capitalizing on the fact that you sent me specific lyrics from the song and just writing around those lyrics so. for the moment this will have to be enough im sorry maggie u deserve more

-

Michael loves performing more than most things.

There are certain people who take precedence — his band, for one, although that feels a little bit like cheating because his band are the reason he can perform — and his family, of course, and a case could be made for Niall Horan, and there are also a few things here and there — a chocolate milkshake at an American diner at three in the morning smack in the middle of the Northeast, the signed-by-Billie-Joe Father Of All… limited edition vinyl framed on his wall at home that’s been played exactly once, a proper pint from the bar they went to when they first arrived in London.

By and large, though, performing beats all. 

There’s an energy that is absolutely unmatched, and no matter how many times interviewers ask, Michael will never be able to put into words the way it feels to play to a crowd who are shouting your lyrics at the top of their lungs. Nobody would understand how it’s possible to get onstage feeling tired and grow more alive the longer you play, feeding off the ardor of the people, entirely detached from the usual concerns of whether or not you’ll remember how to play your part. Michael’s a good guitarist, but onstage he becomes something else, something fucking massive, a piece of something much bigger than himself.

The high lasts only for about a minute after he comes offstage, and then everything else hits him at once; the exhaustion, the sweat, all the notes he’d missed, the pounding in his head from the screams that are dulled but not deafened by the in-ears. They all crash at different times but they always crash soon after the show ends, and Michael’s usually first.

So there are a lot of reasons Michael doesn’t want to come offstage. And if anyone asks, he can offer a wide range of these answers, anything about the rush of performing, about not wanting to feel the weariness of the tour just yet, about feeling more sure about this show than anything in his life, and those wouldn’t even really be lies. They just wouldn’t be the whole truth.

Most of the reason why Michael loves to be onstage is the person sitting at the drum kit.

Ashton is twirling his drum sticks, effortless the way he always is during shows, a broad smile over his face while Luke sets them up for their next-to-last song. Michael takes the opportunity to tune up a little bit and watch Ashton. It’s one of his most favorite things ever, just to watch; he’d stare at Ashton forever if he could and still not have had enough.

Ashton glances up, catching Michael’s eye before Michael can look away, so Michael saunters over to the drums.

“How are you feeling?”

Michael gives a thumbs up. “On top of the world,” he says truthfully. His fingertips are buzzing with what could be electricity, and his guitar feels so light it could almost be floating. “You?”

“Same,” Ashton says, without faltering in his grin. “You’re sounding great.”

“You messed up a few times, but we’ll discuss it after the show,” Michael replies, smirking. Ashton flips him off. “I’m kidding. You sound awesome. Amazing. Like always.”

“Not always. I sound pretty bad sometimes.”

“Only when you’re singing in the shower.”

“I don’t sing in the shower!”

Michael holds up an air-microphone. “Sweet Caroline, bah-bah-bah!”

“That was one fucking time!”

“Yeah, and I’m gonna remember it forever, and laugh at you whenever I hear the song. So thank you.”

Ashton rolls his eyes; somehow he hasn’t stopped smiling, and in fact his smile is even wider. “You should probably get back to your station,” he says. “I think Luke’s stalling to start the song.”

As if on cue, Michael hears, “Oi, Mike! Is it social hour? Are we playing a show?”

Michael grins and winks at Ashton, then slides smoothly back to his microphone. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “Ashton and I were just plotting how best to destroy you.”

“We’re thinking of putting you on a cooking show,” Ashton puts in from his mic. Michael loves him so much.

The crowd laughs. Luke just rolls his eyes, fond and unable to be cross when they’re playing a show, when this many people are here just for them, to hear their music, and across the stage Calum blows Michael a kiss. He catches it in the air and presses it to his heart; Calum grins and gives him the OK sign with his fingers.

“Anyway,” Luke says pointedly, and then he carries on with the show, introducing She’s Kinda Hot with very little additional preamble, and Michael starts to play it — the riff had been hard the first couple of times but now he could do it in his sleep, so instead of overthinking every note, his eyes roam the crowd, several thousand — a number Michael doesn’t remember but is absurdly high — people here to see them, to see him, some who have put in countless hours listening to their album and making signs and buying merchandise from them already. Michael feels like he’ll burst from the love, and wonders if it’s coming from him or from them. Or if there’s even a difference. They love his band, but not as much as he loves his band.

Ashton’s solo is his favorite part of this song. Not because he has a crush on Ashton. Musically, it’s the most fun, and Ashton has a really great voice for it, and he likes the little call-and-response part, and, okay, also because he has a crush on Ashton and this is basically his free chance to gaze in wonder while Ashton sings.

When the solo rolls around Michael turns his body to watch Ashton, shamelessly drinking in the sight; Ashton, a bandana barely keeping back his sweat-soaked hair and a glistening sheen of perspiration all down his face, neck, and arms, muscles tensing as he plays, tank top sticking to his chest. The lights from the stadium reflect strangely off his skin, giving him a gleaming aura that has Michael blinking sight back into his vision. 

Ashton is everything. He really, really is.

Halfway through the solo he catches Michael’s eye for just a second, and Michael doesn’t look away, caught up in the moment. Ashton smiles so wide his face could break from it and Michael feels that smile right down to his toes. The warmth stays in his chest, unbroken, untouchable.

They stumble off-stage, all four reaching out for full water bottles before they have to go back on for the encore. Michael’s off last — he’s standing farthest from where they come on — and the three others are already gasping out breaths between long chugs of water as he takes his own.

“Well, you all sound terrible, and I sound great,” Calum declares, one arm so tightly around Luke’s shoulders that Michael would be hard-pressed to try and separate them. Not that he’d ever feel compelled to. Ashton comes over and slings an arm over Michael’s shoulders, too, and Michael immediately squirms.

“Gross,” he says, “you’re all sweaty.”

“That’s how you like me,” Ashton says, pressing a kiss to Michael’s cheek.

“No PDA before we finish the encore,” Luke says loudly, pointing an accusing finger at the two of them.

“You’re just jealous that Ashton kissed me and not you,” Michael says. “Ashton, go kiss Luke. He’s feeling left out.”

“I don’t want to kiss Luke,” Ashton says, affronted. 

“I’ll kiss Luke,” Calum says. Before any of them can say anything about it, Calum pulls Luke’s face towards him and kisses him square on the mouth.

Luke looks like he’s been hammered between the eyes when Calum pulls away. “You’re such a sneaky little shit,” he says. “I have to go sing, you know.”

“I have to sing too!” Calum protests. 

“Wait a minute,” Michael says, feeling like perhaps he’s missed something. “How — what?”

“Does this mean I have to kiss you now?” Ashton asks Michael, a glint in his eye. “Because I’m not strictly opposed.”

“Stop it,” Michael says. “They just kissed!”

“They’re adults,” Ashton says.

“You’re not strictly opposed?” Michael says belatedly. “The fuck’s that mean? Are you for or against?”

“Shit,” Luke says, handing off his water bottle. “Gotta go back on. Encore time encore time encore time!” He races onstage, Calum in tow, and Michael groans.

“Worst band in the world!” he says as Ashton gives him one final, cheeky look before sliding away and returning to the stage. Michael follows after, playing the intro to She Looks So Perfect, which is as natural as breathing at this point.

The song goes well, and Michael remembers, having temporarily grown distracted, how fucking good this show has been, how the energy of the crowd is building up under his skin, making him practically vibrate with it despite the steady hands on his guitar. When the song ends, they take their bow and then head backstage. Michael finally takes a towel to wipe himself clean of sweat; the other boys do the same. Ashton gets two towels, because he’s always the grossest.

“So?” Michael asks, loping over to where Ashton is leaning against the wall, drying himself off. “For or against?”

“For or against what?” Ashton says innocently, but his face breaks into a ridiculous smile and he reaches to clap a hand around the back of Michael’s neck. “For, obviously.”

“Oh,” Michael says dimly, blood roaring in his ears. “Okay. Good. I mean, I hadn’t said for or against what, exactly. For all you know you’ve just agreed to my insidious plot to destroy the band from the inside or change our sound to EDM or something.”

“I’m in,” Ashton says immediately. “I’ll take down Luke, you get Calum.”

“I can’t take down Calum,” Michael says, forgetting momentarily that they’re not actually planning the downfall of the band. “He’s been my best friend for so long. I’m pretty sure that would be in violation of the bro code.”

“Okay, but taking down Luke wouldn’t?” Ashton asks, raising an eyebrow. “Fine. I’ll get Calum and you get Luke. Meet back here.”

“Wait, hold on,” Michael says, and picks back up the thread. “We’re not actually plotting the band’s destruction. You were going to kiss me, I think.”

“Was I? I don’t really recall.”

“You were. You said you were for it.”

“I believe my words were not strictly opposed.”

“You said for, obviously, like twenty seconds ago. Like literally twenty.”

“Hmm,” Ashton hums, tipping their foreheads together. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

Ashton gives his biggest smile yet. Michael feels the corners of his own mouth tug upward to mirror it, and Ashton leans in, presses a gentle kiss to Michael’s lips, and pulls away. Michael’s buzzing all over, head full of AshtonAshtonAshtonAshton.

“Oh, hmm,” he murmurs, a little speechless, midway between the adrenaline high of the show and the total post-performance crash. Heavily leaning into Ashton, he says, “I’m gonna fall asleep in like five minutes but we will definitely continue this when I’m not about to be dead on my feet.”

Ashton pats his shoulder reassuringly. “I’m not strictly opposed to that.”

Michael smiles and decides: there are few things he loves more than performing, but Ashton Irwin is one of them.

[aw-eather]

Heather Watches SG1 s7ep17&18: Heroes pt1 and pt2

 Watched 23/06/2020

Well here we go friends. I’m torturing myself for the sake of making y’all laugh and also because I have a LOT of feelings about this two parter and NONE of them are good. I can’t be the only one so lets see who else agrees with me! 

This is about to get long and very swear word heavy so avert your eyes if you aren’t into that <3 Just letting you know I use some VERY strong language this post. I’m Australian so the word isn’t uncommon for us to use and we use it as a term of endearment in some parts too but I just wanted y’all to know. 

This turned into the biggest one I’ve ever done too with 362 dot points... read if you dare

Well here we go

I’m probably gonna cry a lot

I love Saul Rubinek. 

I adore him in Warehouse 13

Artie Neilson is like the dad I didn’t have

but fuck me if I don’t hate Emmet

This WHOLE two parter is pointless and just serves to kill of a character that didn’t need to die 

Anyway getting into that a little early on

Fuck the defence department. 

You haven’t spoken to Space Dad of Texas

The most unorthodox

JFC this ass hole

I’m calling him AssHole for the rest of the episodes

Of course they don’t want them here, he’s a dick 

Hammond’s little smile

This whole episode feels sombre and sad

and we’re three minutes into the two parter

this whole thing is about to fall to shit

credits

i’m not even excited for the credits

because I’m hurting

last time I watched this I’d started crying the second it started so I’m doing much better this time 

I love watching them go up the ramp  to the gate

its nice

end credits

NO ONE ASKED YOU SAUL

that was a bomb

but NO ONE ASKED YOU 

And Teryl Rothery as Dr. Janet Fraiser

FUCK OFF

He doesn’t have time

He’s busy

Lol coughed on his hand and went to shake Saul’s hand

dead

memos... as if Jack’s ever read one of those

Sam is so awkward

I love her so much

It is nothing short of extraodinary 

she is nothing short of extraordinary and we know this

but again

NOT ONE ASKED YOU ASSHOLE

and grand empress of scifi

grand empress of my heart 

goof ball

the list goes on

god she’s so awkward’

but so adorable 

Thats fine

please annoy Daniel 

What was it like to be dead ffs

TRANSCENDED? DID YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION???

What else is he supposed to say?! He DIED he doesn’t REMEMBER ANYTHING

Daniel’s right

Its fascinating 

LOL DANIEL YOU STUPID IDIOT THATS HILARIOUS

I love Daniel when he’s pissing off people i hate

Bill <3 

Personal microwave oven... nice

And its only taken you 7 years

so glad you did though

Odd that he was on fire

but we never see that happen any other times

“He does this all the time” poor Siler

Sam looks so happy when talking technobable and about her doohickeys. 

I adore her

And honestly all that shits fascinating 

still 32 minutes left... 

honestly if it weren’t for me talking about Janets death, I’d never watch these again. 

They are genuinely some of the worst episodes of SG1

I said what I said

“Sure. Its really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything”

She’s gonna kill someone

WALTER

Thats right

FUCK OFF SAUL

DOESN’T MEAN THERE WASN’T ANY GOA’ULD HERE RECENTLY

I love that they take odds

but this scene is only here to set up the character that is the reason Janet dies

because Janet shouldn’t have been off base

but we’re not going to talk about that are we? 

The episode would have played out the same if this man had died

Anyone can die in war

Doesn’t matter if they’re a parent etc

but nah

we gotta - 

sorry I’ll stop

SHE’S SO HOT 

JACK YOU IDIOT

As if he read the memo

THERE SHOULD BE A CAKE

Obviously he can’t tell you much because he was DEAD

OMG TEAL’C

HE’S NOT SAYING A WORD

BECAUSE HE FUCKING HATES THIS GUY MORE THAN I DO

SAUL SHUT UP

LITERALLY NO ONE CARES 

GO HOME

“Dr Jackson is going to die when he sees this”

“What again?”

my dude you have NO idea

This is what happens when you go poking around

you get ambushed

because it was all a fucking set up

no explination of WHO set them up tho... it was just a set up

what

a

joke

wooooooow

they took it out with a WALL

NOT THIS FUCKING ARSE HOLE

KINSEY JUST PISS OFF 

WE DON’T LIKE YOU

WE DON’T WANT YOU

GO SUCK A ROTTEN TOMATO

EVEN SAUL IS BORED OF YOU

AND HE’S THE MOST BORING MAN I’VE EVER MET

leave Jack alone

YES JACK

Its not slander if its TRUE YOU WANKER

NO YOU HAVE NOT

PAST AND PRESENT YOU ASS

JFC

Who cares what the president wants

I am 90% sure Jack just called Kinsey a limp dick and I’ve never been prouder? 

“deep and unyielding love for you, sir” SHUT UP JACK YOU GOOSE 

Well Mr Bregman can such a toe

Fancy arguing with Space Dad from Texas

OH FUCK OFF SAUL

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

NO ONE CARES

HAMMOND IS RIGHT

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE THERE

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET HURT

YOU HAVE NO RIGT TO BE THERE

Sam joking around with Teal’c is so sweet

I love them and their friendship so much

Gah!

OF COURSE THERE IS A CHANCE THINGS WILL GO WRONG YOU NARCACISTIC FUCK

ITS LIKE TO GO MORE WRONG WITH YOU THERE

I’M SORRY I’M YELLING SO MUCH I JUST HATE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE BODY.

Well is he wrong? 

Because you’re an absolute arse, thats why it doesn’t matter

Shots of your ass serve us all well O’Neill

“How do you feel about Colonel O’Neill”

She wishes to kiss him, sir. 

And potentially much more but we shall no discuss that here

He is amazing

Time outside of work... what are you insinuating

Good cover

Like family

First and foremost her superior officer

Secondly your LOVER

because I pretend Pete doesn’t exist right now

OH THIS SCENE

Actually that was pretty cute Daniel

And you’re right it is fascinating

At some action? 

So you can be a dick and use peoples death as entertainment? 

Fuck me 

His job is the inscriptions

seriously fuck this guy

I love how Sam’s face goes from he’s right its boring to aww Daniel, he didn’t :O

I love their friendship

But it nearly could have cause people like oh, I don’t know, YOUR BOYFRIEND, SAMANTHA, stalk people

shouldn’t have stayed as long as you did

if y’all hadn’t stayed

this wouldn’t have happened

Janet my love 

I’m crying

wow Jack has been hurt a fuck tonne

he didn’t give permission

Saul is an ass

I’m literally fighting tears right now

I fucking love her so much 

You never know what to expect but you do such a good job sweetie 

I’m so proud of you

The more she talks the more proud of her I am

and the more of a loss it truly is that she goes

because she’s fucking incredible and she has so much heart 

her little laugh fucking STOP

My heart is literally breaking 

AND DR FRAISER

STOP

THEY WOULDN’T HAVE JUST WALKED INTO AN AMBUSH LIKE THAT ON ANY OLD DAY

WHY NOW

WHO WROTE THIS FUCKING SHIT

FUCK OFF SAUL

THIS IS RIDICULOUS

HER GIGGLE STOP I LOVE HER 

SHE DESERVED MORE

DO NOT GO

JANET NO STAY

BABY

and we end there to go to part two

this episode felt weird

it feels like is a drama inside a drama does that make sense? 

It kinda feels like 200

like it feels fake and like its about to cut to a shot of them sitting around a table, flabergasted and with their heads in their hands

So Robert C. Cooper wrote it

I just wanna talk buddy... just wanna talk

THEY AIRED THIS FUCKER THE DAY BEFORE VALENTIES DAY?!?! WTF SYFY?!

Alright starting episode 2

SAUL FUCK OFF YOU CAN’T BE THERE

JANET BABY DON’T GOOOOOOO

I AM CRYING

I have my pillow pet who is named Janet

She was a gag gift about 7 years ago and I was watching SG1 at the time

but also she just looked like a Janet

She’s become a staple in my life and I love her 

Anyway she always gets me through these episodes

credits

still not into it right now

should have skipped them this episode tbh

end credits

Ordered chocolate cake

it arrived

i’m happy with this choice

I don’t give a fuck about them deciding what happens in the fucking video

Good answer Daniel

I could also watch Major Carter’s head talk all day

They didn’t stand a fucking chance out there

They ran into that situation totally unprepared

which they would never have done normally

this whole two parter is fucking bull shit

and then they pit Jack and Janet against each other... like who are we gonna be more upset to lose in this moment

Fuck Jack

baby noooo

I can’t take this episode ffs

Lol Walter being cute

Get out of there

You cunt

get that fucking camera off 

fuck this guy

no Sam

fuck off 

leave her alone

punch him in the face

oh Sam honey I’m so sorry

she lost her best friend

FUCK OF SAUL

JESUS 

HER BEST FRIEND JUST DIED 

SHE’S IN PAIN

YOU DO NOT GET TO DICTATE WHETHER PEOPLE GET FILMED WHEN SHE’S CLEARLY IN PAIN

I’LL TURN YOU OFF YOU FUCKING ARSE HOLE FUCK YOU

don’t sit there all upset like your day has been ruined

And now we have them making us think Jack died so that we worry about him the entire episode instead of Janet

because who cares about her right?

FUCKING WOOLSEY

I literally just screamed

i hate him

this episode can’t get any FUCKING WORSE

I also question the decision. 

No offence Space Dad of Texas

but it doens’t make sense that you chose to do what you did

I’m sorry but it doesn’t 

FUCK OOOOOOFFFF WOOOSLEY

Hammond visiting Carter <3 

Ah Barrett

So Woolsey is a corrupt piece of shit

Whoda thunk it

I’m crying again

Poor Hammond

Poor Sam

Talking at the memorial man

OH GOOD MORE WOOLSEY

BECAUSE THIS EPISODE ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH...

Fuck him

And the truth is that you’re a dick, moving on

Daniel has a point... and I hate saying that but he has a point

I love Sam

Daniel doesn’t give a fuck

Go Daniel I’m proud of you

OH NOT SAUL AND THE F U C K I N G CAMERA

NO PISS OFF

This is cruel

to make us see her death

to show us her literal dead body was too fucking much

I’m sorry but this would have been just as powerful if Simons had died

Hes a good kid

but this would have had the same impact

I’m sick of this man

I’m sick of this shit

OH MY GOD GO THE FUCK AWAY YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Which is why you bastards should not have been in the fucking field

It was of a man dying

end of

Yeah but what they do every single day doesn’t mean show us JANETS DEATH

Sharing it with the world won’t make him feel any better about one of his best friends getting show you mole

Good, Woolsey again

suck my dick

So this guy put money values on peoples heads

and he got command of Atlantis? 

Yeah fuck him I’m not watching s5 of Atlantis

to be fair $27 million is a lot of money

but its still peopls lives

fuck off you smarmy git

I would love to see him tossed out on his arse

He can do that

fuck off you don’t get to say in whether or not you’re there or have a right to be there

you’re invading on peoples privacy

you’re an ass

The Tape

Fuck the N.I.D

I actually feel really bad for Daniel

fuck you Bregman

so excited to see people’s deaths

I had to pause for a moment

because I just saw Janet die

and its cruel

We didn’t have to see her death

knowing it happened was bad enough 

physically seeing her dead is like salt in the wound

Janet deserved so much more than this

hope you’re happy bregman

sam visiting Jack

hurts because i love the cute moment

but it hurts

because we shuoldn’t have had to lose janet for this

Cassie... my heart is broken

the way he looks at her when she starts crying and the hug  like he has been there with her so many times 

its all so sweet 

and they’re so in love but they can’t have each other

its rude 

Poor Simon... 

Poor Sam

watching her cry is so hard

and Teal’c 

guys i’m not sure i can finsih this

ok sorry I’m back

Gotta pick up Cassie

Cassie 100% lived with Sam right? 

Oh Teal’c... i love you so, so much you sweet angel

and the little hug.. their friendship is beautiful

I’m so sick of Bregman at this point

and them being in the room where Daniel died, where Jack chose to get his symbiote, where they saved Cassie and Sam and countless others, where they helped Teal’c

Janet was so strong, so wise

oh Daniel... I’m sorry 

It does but others don’t need to see it Daniel

Oh fuck I’ll be back after the memorial

its such a beautiful memorial

and Im glad they chose Sam to talk 

I’m gonna say some more in my final notes

its hard right now with the tears

I still think you’re an absolute arse, Saul

This was kinda sweet actually

oh they named the baby Janet

i’m never gonna stop crying 

Oh Jack

he’s so unimpressed

what a stupid way to end it

sorry but that was shit

Final thoughts

i genuinely hate these episodes. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever watch them again. Even with another watch through.. they’re not as well written or directed as other episodes, they’re unbelievable in the cannon of the show and breaks their own rules, not to mention the sheer heartbreak

Bregman is one of the most unlikeable characters in the show. If Simmons had of been alive he could have been in the episode too just to add to the trifecta of cunts!

Cassie should have been at the memorial

they make you think Jack is dead so we won’t worry about janet to what? make it more of a shock? because it doesn’t work. It should never have been designed to make us feel relief at Janet’s death because it wasn’t Jack! It doesn’t do her justice. 

Janet Fraiser was a smart woman with a massive heart. She was brave and strong and she cared for everyone even when they were arseholes. She had a bit of fun with SG1 sometimes too. She was an incredible Dr, mother and friend.  Janet was tiny but tough. Something that i aim for. I’m 5ft2 so basically the same as Janet and believe it or not i’ve had people question my ability to be a good teacher because noone will take me seriously. Janet always made me feel like people would take me seriously and that even though I’m small, I can do big things. She encouraged me to be a good person with a heart of gold. Her death hits really hard for that reason. but also because she was an incredible character who deserved more than what she was given. Hardly any screen time and then murdered to make some sort of point that didn’t need making??? Not to mention she’s mentioned twice in the next three seasons and when she “comes back” in Ripple Effect she spends almost no time with Sam which makes exactly 0 sense. 

Someone recently said they heard she was killed because the writers didn’t know how much more time they had and wanted to wrap some stuff up? Lets not forget that they made the end of this season a huge cliff hanger... but I’m still not sure what we could wrap up with her death? She had a fucking child!

Any way I won’t be watching this again. I’m sorry this isn’t much fun but hopefully you’ve got a giggle out of me swearing at the idiots 

I love you all for reading this and supporting me posts, they’re usually pretty fun to make honestly!

[mychemicalficrecs]

Can you recommend some high school AU frerard or Ray/Mikey fics? :3 thank u

Hi Nonny!

I'm going to make seperate lists for this again. Can't promise the second one will be ready by tomorrow but I'll try ;)

I'm not a big reader of High School AUs, so the second half are fics that looked promising on AO3!

Frank/Gerard High School AUs

In Repair by autoschediastic, 33k, Explicit. "Shit," Frank mutters, and shoves both hands through his hair. He looks around the kitchen like he's gonna find what he should do scratched into the old linoleum, then looks back at the bot. He gnaws on his lip. Fuck it. He already knows what he's gonna do. He's just gotta do it. Getting down on his knees, he braces a hand on the edge of the crate and leans over the bot. It's dressed in a plain white tee and matching drawstring pants like an escaped mental patient. Frank rolls his neck and cracks his knuckles, shaking the ache out of them before carefully laying his palm against its cheek. He's pretty sure his voice is steady when he says, "Activate." Nothing happens. Fucking shitty packaging-- the thing's busted. But Frank keeps his hand where it is, jumping a little when he feels the surge of energy beneath it. The robot's skin goes from room temperature to lukewarm, then warm. Frank watches it open its eyes, the light behind them adjusting until they're a pale sort of brown. It looks at him and asks, "Am I dead?"

Get Naked (I Got a Plan) by autoschediastic, 11k, Explicit. Frank slides his hand all the way up to where Gerard's arm and tentacles fuse at his armpit. The difference between the feel of one beneath his palm and the other is literally the stuff his dreams are made of. His wet dreams.

A State Of Orange by gala_apples, Frank/Mikey, Frank/Gerard, 20k, Explicit. Being a halfling in a red state can sometimes cause issues for Frank Iero. He’s the weakest at Jett Clement High School, and probably the entire state (not counting the meal plans). His moods are oddly stable, as much as he tries to be mercurial. And being able to withstand the sun for up to twenty minutes only allows him more time to be forced into chores. Still, his parents are insane if they think he’s going to be happy about their decision. Frank doesn’t want to move to a Mixed state. How is he supposed to get great friends? How is he supposed to find great food? How is he supposed to have great sex? But Frank doesn’t have a choice. He’s New Jersey bound for the next year, if not longer. He’ll be surrounded by tame vampires who have been nagged out of a sex drive, and humans he’s not allowed to eat. Mixed states suck. Lucky for him, not every person in Jersey sucks.

The Truth Is I'm On My Way by samanthahirr, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank's been drawing on himself since elementary school, up under his sleeves and pant legs where his teachers and classmates won't see; he knows how to color inside the lines. He doesn't need Gerard to do it for him. (A high school AU.)

You Only Hear the Music When Your Heart Begins to Break by Solarcat, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank has high school figured out. His mom has given up arguing about the amount of time he spends in Gerard's basement, and he doesn't actually care if people think it's weird that he and Gerard hold hands in the hallways and go to the bathroom together. The only thing Frank cares about is figuring out why Gerard's suddenly avoiding him -- because what's the point of losing your virginity on Prom Night if you can't tell your best friend about it in the morning?

Smokeless Flame of Fire by tabulaxrasa, 21k, Mature. Frank blinked. "What kind of name for a genie is Gerard?"

to the midnight land by akamine_chan, 24k, Explicit. Being a teenager is hard. Being a Blooded teenager, one with a connection to the Moon and his fur-self, is even worse. He's got to contend with his own hormones, high school, and the fact that he's in love with his best friend. Luckily, Frankie's got the determination to see things through. He's got family, friends, and a community of shifters to lean on, and he's not going to give up. Frankie's not patient, but he's stubborn when he knows what he wants. And he wants Gerard.

Thing-Thing by sinsense, 43k, NC-17. When Gerard signed the admissions paperwork for the Fordhaven School for Boys, he knew he was signing up for four years of sexual frustration. No one was gay at Fordhaven. Gerard was all-too-aware that he would be a virgin until he graduated. In his senior year, though, this stupid gay freshman disproves Fordhaven's straightness, and throws Gerard's entire world off-kilter. Now, in between drawing, avoiding bullies, running an incredibly serious tabletop RP game, failing out of math, and hanging out with friends, Gerard is also busy kind of falling for this asshole who's way too young for him. It's not what he planned on, but it's what's happening. In conclusion: high school sucks.

You'll Always Feel This Way by wakingup, 14k, Not Rated. It's Frank's birthday and he's gonna A) get drunk B) hit on Gerard C) get laid. Yeah, it's definitely going to work out like that. (Spoiler alert: it might not be that easy)

Nothing Comes as Easy as You by rivers_bend, 9k, Explicit. "Um, I've heard, you know, around, that like, there are guys who can get off three times without stopping. And I was, I mean—" god he sounds like a fucking idiot. "Have you ever heard of that?"

Church of Hot Addiction by spleenjournal, 0nlymemories, Frank/Gerard, Frank/Mikey, 36k, Adult. When Gerard Way gets transferred to Our Lady of Peace in Arlington a few weeks into his Senior year, he thinks it's his chance to be cool. Too bad his idea of "cool" is no cooler than it was in 3rd grade, even if there aren't any green tights. (AU of the INO AU, more or less.)

The Marching Band AU by frankiesin, many pairings in a bunch of different works, 150k, General Audiences, Teen And Up Audiences, Mature, Explicit. A bunch of gay teens are in a band and do dumb things while in high school. There will be a lot of pairings, each part can be read without reading the others, and the series is in chronological order.

We're all Okay by rivers_bend, 28k, Explicit. A story in which Frank is not a stalker, Gerard is not a psycho, and Mikeyway is nobody’s boyfriend.

Where Did The Party Go by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), 16k, Mature. The one where Frank get's a new and nocturnal neighbor, Gerard throws a Halloween party that turns out far from what was expected, Pete wakes up on a strangers couch and Mikey really doesn't want any serenades (but that doesn't mean he isn't getting any).

Miss Congeniality by melusina, 11k, Mature. Gerard pretends to be a girl, Frank and Gerard discover email and Mikey’s good advice goes unheeded.

honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us by orphan_account, 17k, Explicit. You should have raised a baby girl / I should have been a better son. (the unholy union of a high school au and a gender feel)

SKETCH by frnklyiero, 77k, Teen And Up Audiences. "You having a problem with drawing straight?" "I'm having a problem with being straight." Gerard Way happened to be the most fascinating sight in school to Frank Iero perhaps besides Jamia Nestor. Every little detail of his perfect features made Frank itch to sketch them. There are just a few problems: 1) Gerard is probably straight as a ruler, 2) Jamia isn't thrilled that her boyfriend may or may not have been secretly doodling Gerard in his notebook, 3) No matter how much Frank practices, his Gerard sketches still look like eggplants with creepy faces on them.

Save Me (From My Self Destruction) by cyanidepurified, 14k, Teen And Up Audiences. Frank and Gerard are best friends, both are unaware that they're in love with each other. When Frank discovers Gerard's secret, will he be able to save his best friend?

Speeding in a School Zone by 1001cranes, languisity, 16k, Teen And Up Audiences. High school AU where Frank and Gerard are awkward, Pete is romantically confused, Patrick owns, and Bob is a ninja. Pete, the first time we met you proposed to me. I don’t think your heterosexuality was ever all that secure.

The Chasing of Moons by Helena_Hathaway, 110k, Explicit. The biggest dilemma in all of this is that Frank slept with his future husband. Now Frank’s just got to make sure that the future with him stays intact, but it’s not so easy when present day Gerard seems to hate his guts.

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville by FedeLove96, 11k, Explicit. Frank Iero was a junior when he fell in love with Gerard Way, but their love story was just at the beginning.

A Case of Unknown Identity by Helena_Hathaway, 44k, Explicit. Frerard High School AU. Frank is a teenager with only a few friends, one of whom is a charismatic guy who is just like Frank. He might even be falling for the guy, but the only problem is that he’s just a username on a website without a face or a name. The guy goes by 'Watchman' and he’s perfect in Frank’s eyes, he doesn’t even need to meet him to know he’s amazing. Frank also deals with bullies which makes it hard for him to hold onto friends, but things start to become better after he befriends the antisocial kid Mikey, and realizes that Watchman might just go to his school. Watchman might also know a little more about Frank than he’s letting on.

But The Pages Are All Torn and Frayed by blindlyseeking (orphan_account), 55k, Mature. Basically, this is based off of the music video for “I’m Not Okay” and it also includes (but is not limited to) gratuitous mentions of a drunken fascination with a lamp, one evil lacrosse team, two breakdowns in a bathroom, grandmothers with green hair, a couple bruises, and a whole lot of revenge. Enjoy!

[cabinofimagines]

“Secret Agreement” (Jason Grace x Reader)

A/N: Is ya girl!!!!! I’m done with school work FINALLY which means I get to do my requests :’)) prepare for lots of Jason appreciation cause I’m about to love the hell out of this dude, also I think this one is sort of gender neutral? I don’t think I put a gender to it so, enjoy! -Danny

Request: oh jeez i’m a sucker for best friends to lovers kinda relationships and ?? I was hoping one of y’all could write some Jason and reader fluff set after the war is over ?? (bonus points if the two have been friends since they were like ten lmao)

Words: 1,943

Warnings: Swearing and not proofread cause I suck anyway lmao

He is looking at you again. 

That is not exactly a problem, the thing is that Jason makes you nervous, especially when he stares, and you don’t think it’s a good idea to be practicing archery while he has his eyes fixed on you. Your hands are shaking and a little bit sweaty, but you gotta focus, kid! How can you survive an attack if something as simple as a boy makes you this anxious?

Camp Half-Blood was a very interesting place to be at, living your whole life back at New Rome where everyone was kind of strict about the training, you were pleased to see you were better than some greek kids, however, you still had some issues with archery and you thought you could ask Jason to help you out.

He currently is staying at C.H.B, he decided to start his duty right after the war: build a cabin and altar to every god to ever exist in Greek and Roman culture, which of course, was a freaking lot. And you missed him a lot. Jason is your best friend since u were children. You knew you could rely on him if you ever were in need of assistance even if it was something silly like practicing archery.

“Y/N, eyes on the front” Kayla called out.

“Right! Sorry,” you shook your head before squinting your eyes towards the target and taking a deep, calm breath.

You shot the arrow... and barely made it through. It stayed dancing on the edge of the wooden circle, you dropped your arms in defeat.

“Okay,” Kayla sighed, “you know what? We’ve been practicing for two hours and you were doing pretty good, I don’t know what happened at the end but I think it’s alright if we stop now”

“Yeah...” You nodded avoiding Jason’s face, knowing he’d be staring with that annoying little smirk of his, “time for a break”

You walked towards the bench to leave all the equipment and grabbed your water bottle to chug down half of it. Jason stood up and jumped between the seats to get to you. 

“So,” Jason crossed his arms, eyeing you up and down, “you’re getting better”

You snorted, “Didn’t you see the last shot? I missed it”

“The rest was fine though! I’m proud of you”

“Thanks, I guess” You turned your face away to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.

“My pleasure” He hugged you close with one arm and walked alongside you, “Can we go eat now? I’m starving”

“Sure” you smiled softly, finishing what was left of your water.

While both of you walked through the camp people (mostly your friends) stared at you with knowing smirks and wiggling their eyebrows, you tried to ignore them, you had no time to indulge their games.

Ever since you and Jason grew old enough to be called teenagers, there has been this huge anticipation about when are you going to admit you like each other, which is stupid, being best friends doesn’t mean you have feelings for each other!

Except that you do. Oh, you do.

What is there about Jason to hate? He’s kind, funny, smart, handsome and he’s your best friend after all. You could keep the list going but that wouldn’t help your case, to everyone is so obvious. To you? well, at least it is obvious on your side, you have no idea what does Jason think about it.

Every time someone makes a joke about you two acting like a couple he laughs it off and hugs you saying something like “Yeah, sure” and you’re both, grateful and in pain that he doesn’t say anything more specific cause living in doubt is pure agony.

His hand goes up and starts playing with a strand of hair that moments before was laying on your shoulder, he is smiling and looking forward to the road ahead. His eyes look so bright, you always thought it was odd since they were blue, and blue usually is a cold color, but his eyes are far from frozen, you find a  home in them when everything around you feels borrowed.

“Y/N?”

Oh shit, he was talking to you, right. You forgot.

“Sorry, what?”

He laughs a short, sweet laugh and your chest feels so, so light.

“I was asking if you remember that one time when you got sick and I kept sneaking up from training so I could give you sweets and the Praetor of that time caught me, so they made me clean the...”

“Oh yeah, I do!” This time it was your time to laugh, remembering that one time the great Jason Grace misbehave, “Gods, I felt even worse after that, you got in troubles because of me”

“It’s alright, that’s in the past anyway” He shrugs, his arm is still around you and maybe, maybe you don’t want him to move away. Ever.

“Whenever you got sick after that I made sure you had the best of the best, so I think it was a fair trade” You added.

“I got lucky to have you then, a fair friend is always the best friend. Words cannot describe how much I love you for that” Jason finally lowered his arm, reaching the entrance of the mess hall.

You stayed in stunned silence for a second, watching as Jason glanced over his shoulder with a questioning look, the small smile still fixed on his face.

“You coming?”

“Uh...” Did he mean he loved you as in love-loved you? Or was it a simple friendly “I love you” like the one you say from time to time to some of your friends? What was he trying to do?! “Yes?”

You were about to reach the tables when your voice rose up, “Jason?”

He stopped, looking over her with open concern, “Y/N?”

And you couldn’t, there were far too many people and way too many years of friendship between you. Suddenly the words were no longer available for your use, and your mind was blank; Was it worth it? Openly ask what did he think about you two as a couple and get your heart broken? No. You were okay as her best friend, it was comfortable, safe.

“D-do, enjoy your meal!” You half smiled, turning hot on your heels without waiting for a reply.

Later that week you kept the routine as monotone as possible, spent time with new friends and old, eating tons and training till your arms were sore, and even although you tried not to think about it, Jason was always at the back of your mind, Jason, Jason, Jason. Jason Grace and his stupid looks and cute smile with a beautiful personality.

He was your best friend, after all, so you couldn’t avoid him forever, not without him asking what was up, and you’d rather not have that conversation.

So now you were playing basketball, throwing the ball like it was made of your toxic thoughts and were trying to desperately get them out of your body, and Jason was just having a good time, of course, he always does, or tries, at least. What a good dude.

“So I told Leo to try with the other drill, and he flips me off and says ‘I know what I’m doing, doofus’ and turns around to keep working and as soon as he touches that thing, it falls apart like Jenga” Jason lets out a breathless laugh.

“Just his luck,” You laughed, taking the ball from his hands and running towards the hoop.

“Yeah,” The boy ran beside you, trying to take the ball from your hands, “and I was about to ask him, like, need any help? But he looked like he was about to burn my pants so...”

“Not the best idea” You finished, stopping short and throwing like your life depended on it... and the ball got stuck, ”shit...”

“Wait, I’ll get it” Jason jumped making use of his flying abilities to reach and shake the hoop, the ball fell and you caught it on the air, keeping it tightly against your chest.

“Got it!” Your friend came down in front of you, startled, you jump and threw the ball at his face, which he managed to avoid, barely, “shit, I’m sorry!”

“It’s ok, you missed my face” He laughed.

“You scared me!” You exclaimed, still nervous.

“I can tell!” Jason reply with an amused voice.

“You love me?” You asked in a very high pitched, panicky cry.

“What?”

“What?” You repeated.

Oh fuck, oh no. You said it. WHY?

“Why are you asking me that?” Jason tilted his head in that adorable manner he always does.

“The other day, you -uhm, I don’t know, you said something like it”

“Oh yeah! I remember” His face lit up, finally knowing what were you talking about, “yeah I said that”

He nodded with a childish smile, you stayed there with wide eyes, waiting for an explanation that never made its way to you.

“And?!” You urged him.

“And what?”

“What does that even mean?!” You huffed, on the verge of losing it, “is it... is it like, platonic?”

“Platonic?” Jason snorted, “Yeah, of course, Y/N. I’m in love with you platonically”

“YOU’RE WHAT?” That’s it, you’re hallucinating; probably fainted in the middle of playing and now you’re dreaming.

“I’m- wait, did you really not know?” For the first time, he looked as surprised as you, “Y/N!”

“What?” You asked again, completely confused.

“Oh gods, I’m stupid” Jason groaned, passing a hand through his hair and messing it up more than it already was, “you don’t like me that way, I understand, I-”

“No, I do” You interrupted, “believe me I do, but you never said anything! At all! and what about when everyone makes those dumb jokes about us dating, you never said a thing?”

“Because I thought you knew it!” He said, “and what about you, why didn’t you say anything? You laughed it off and acted like it was nothing, I thought it was like a silent agreement about not saying anything until we were ready?”

“How could I know that?” You huffed in disbelief, “Or you for that matter, is my face just that expressive to you?”

“No, but we’ve been friends for years, I thought this whole... whatever it is, it was meant to be, and that both of us were okay with that” The blush on his cheeks increased with every word, “well this is awkward”

“Yeah, a bit” you avoid his gaze, knowing how red you were too, though you kept the talk going, feeling a different vibe between you, a bit more nervous than usual but much more intimate than before. 

It all happened in a split second, you and Jason shared one look and were both goners.

The moment you moved forward Jason did too, it only took a glance to know Jason was right, you could tell that he was thinking the same, you knew exactly what he was thinking, you always knew. 

“Can I...?” He hesitated, staring at you with soft eyes.

As a reply, you kissed him. Gods, was it a great kiss. The type where hands go their way up to heads and waists and cling into what they can find, your breath gets stuck somewhere in your chest and you lose track of time, all you can feel is Jason and the kiss, how good it feels against your body.

“You’re right” you mumbled against his lips, “it’s right. This feels right.”

“It’s meant to be” He chuckles before kissing you once more.

-Danny :) (Hope you liked it)

[slasherscream]

omg i love ur blog so much 💕 all of ur poly billy/stu/reader stuff owns my ass😍 can i request billy/stu/huge buff dude reader (like at least 6'8" could probably bench press both of them agdjdhd) headcannons (nsfw or sfw its up to u!)

A/N: speaking of ass owning? you know who's ass you own? 

     billy loomis x m!reader x stu macher             ft. s/o is an absolute beefcake

                                                     ——————– 

You own Stu's ass. He sees you and he stops dead in his tracks. Please.... please sir bench-press him please-

Toxic masculinity #Whomst? Sorry he's not heterosexual so when he sees you the first time it's just instant 👀 👀 👀 👀

Billy was about to get annoyed because uhm who is His Boyfriend™ looking at like that who isn't him? Who?? Where are they?? He's gonna kill them.

Then he sees you and like fuck man?? He... fucking gets it. Stu and him make the shadiest eye contact in the world and it is instantly agreed they are about to trap you. They're both Ash Ketchum in this bitch #RIP you never saw it coming beefcake. 

Stu calls you beefcake I'm so sorry it's just what he does and he won't stop. Non-negotiable part of the relationship. Beefcake, stud ...stud-muffin. He won't ever shut up.

This is Stu at all times @ you. Listen       listen he's always been the muscle in all his relationships full-stop. With girls and guys alike. And he's fucking loved it 100%. Throwing a partner over his shoulder? Carting them around like they weigh nothing because they don't?? Goofing around just because he's #Big And Strong and can? He loves that shit.

But someone else doing that .... to him? He's in tears please throw him on your shoulder or give him a piggy back ride he'll actually giggle. It's very pure.

Not so pure? Can you actually hold him down and just fuck the shit out of him? He drools at the mere thought. He's constantly talking about how big and strong you are the whole time you rail him too?? He's living his best life.

Stu's got a size-kink that goes both ways         that is now well established. It was very important that you know how deep his love for your tall, strong ass physique goes.

Billy does not have this same kink. If he does have a size kink it's probably for smaller/weaker partners tbh. Stu is a 6'4 tree but he does whatever Billy says and wants 98% of the time. He's Billy's sub if not usually Billy's bottom as well.

He does like being a dom to you though?? That's his exact kink. Having you on your knees while you suck his dick and he's got a hand in your hair just guiding you as he sees fit? Bro... he's #Into It. Do what he says and he'll just fucking nut he's gross. 

But despite his total type A personality no one stays in one sexual role all the time so he does like little tussles for control sometimes. It's hot. If you manage to get him to bottom though he's a power bottom and a brat. Have fun with that (to be fair you will genuinely have fun with that). 

He is not Stu though do not pick him up in public!! He is in charge of this relationship! He is the Stu and You wrangler and tamer! Don't make him start swinging (a brat? anyone? a brat?). 

What he does really like is you hugging him? He's still always desperate for cuddling even though he'd never admit it and he does like how strong you are? Wrap your arms around his shoulder and pull him back against you. It's a quick way to get him to chill out and everyone is amazed whenever you do it?? 

Randy has literally bowed to you on multiple occasions for this special gift you have (this of course starts back up Billy's Killing Instinct so you have to keep a tight grip on him). 

He wants you to sit in his lap. He's so hardheaded and dumb. He insists you sit in his lap even. He has Stu do it all the time but Stu is at least like a ...lean sort of buff guy. You are not. This matters not to Billy Loomis who has an ego the size of the sun. 

On multiple occasions you and Stu have sat in Billy's lap at once just to see him finally break but so far he never has. He'll never admit defeat. You two just take pity on him and get off eventually. You're even nice enough to subtly rub feeling back into his stupid, fucking legs without commenting on why they're numb (so far his streak for ignoring the agony of leg numbness is 1h and 41m ie. the running time of Nightmare On Elm Street). 

The healthy middle ground of satisfying this urge in Billy to always have his partner On Him is for you to sit in-between his legs. Stu? Says fuck that?? He's sitting in-between your legs. The utter joy of a taller bf...he's on cloud nine. 

You're tall enough that you've gotta bend down and kiss him and he swoons just a little. Billy wants to perish. Instead of just asking for kisses he always ...drags you down by your shirt. Who is he flexing on? 

He was already fed up from kissing Stu he's at his wits end. Will he ever accept a lesser amount of kisses? No.

Billy is gonna break his spine trying to dip you or pick you up or some shit but it's fine...it's fine don't worry about it. 

They’re both sexists that are inherently a little (not much let’s be clear adjkl) less protective over guy partners than girls partners but because you are so big?? The....messes you get dragged into.

 stu: oh yeah?? why don’t you say that to my boyfriend’s face *drags you into a fight he started when you were just minding your own business*

Billy won’t do that to you but he’s Very Possessive over you. No one look at you. If anyone looks at you his day will be ruined (the drama)! Yes ---- Of course he knows you’re built like the fucking rock?? That 5′0 girl who you’d have to bend down for 800 years just to hug her needs to keep walking before she gets got. Grab him quickly before he starts a fight. 

                                                     ——————–

[ichirostitties]

welcome!! can i please get some uhhhhh pining/confession hcs for ichiro, doppo, and dice? 👀

HEY GUYS IT’S BEEN A HOT MINUTE i should be able to update more frequently now!! work b like kickin my ass + i’ve been replying for uni so uwu owo i’m back now alSO oh..THIS RQ WAS LIKE MADE FOR ME!! they’re all good dudes ughh dw i’ll send them all the love

Ichiro

-oh this poor kid. he has no clue what to do, it sort of hit him out of nowhere one day; that he realised he really REALLY liked you, like a lot!! more than a friend (i think ichiro is the type of person who would only really fall for someone he considers a friend first, so u gotta be his friend before u can suck his dick ok)

-he can’t stop thinking about you, especially when he’s reading those light novels of his. he can’t help picturing the two of you in the same situations as the main love interests and he keeps!! blushing and having to stop reading because it makes his heart so soft but he’s so embarrassed 

-every time he sees you he can feel his heart sort of..squeeze or ache in some way, he finds it hard to hold back his feelings because he’s usually so honest and affectionate but he really doesn’t want to ruin your friendship.

-jiro and saburo notice he’s been acting differently recently, he’s been a little more easily distracted and he seems especially jumpy when you come around…honestly they can probably tell what’s up, i think they’d try to get you two alone but they simultaneously facepalm when ichiro still says nothing and just keeps staring at you when you’re not looking (sometimes you notice but you don’t think much of it)

-he would probably imagine some different romantic confession scenario each night. before he goes to sleep he lies there and he imagines various (impossible) ways his confession to you would go. it’s all really cliche but he’s having the time of his life before he goes to sleep and probably dreams about it too

-bruh ichiro is so whipped like.,he’d drop anything to help you if you needed it. he’s such a sweetie and even you notice he’s been doing more to help than usual lately. please remind him to take care of himself, i feel like he needs someone to do that for him sometimes

-it takes time, a lot of longing glances at you and he probably even sighs wistfully while reading manga, but eventually he’ll gather up the courage to tell you how he feels. he’s planned some impossibly elaborate scenario, but one day when you guys are just hanging out on one of his days off playing video games or something (GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME…THIS BITCH Y/N IS OUT HERE LIVING THEIR BEST LIFE) he just sorta..lets it slip that he really likes you. 

-he would definitely only ever say it in person. he thinks that doing it via message/text is sort of an easy way out and what sort of person would he be if he did that?? he’s gotta gather up the courage just like his favourite main characters have done so many times!!

-so he’d tell you, and if you accept him he’d be SO HAPPY i think he’d almost cry. he’d give you the biggest, softest hug ever and you’d probably have to tell him to stop squeezing so hard but!!! aah!! he’s so so happy that you return his feelings and he doesn’t even care that you guys technically wasted time with all the moments he couldn’t bring himself to say anything

-and as a zombie kills him in minecraft in the background, ichiro can feel that ache in his chest finally subside as he leans in to give you a big ol smooch right on the lips (mwah ily too ichiro)

Daisu

-ok. this one made me a little emo ngl

-when dice finds out he has feelings for you, he really doesn’t know what else to do. there’s evidence that he actually doesn’t think that highly of himself (..im lookin at you hypmic manga + stella lyric video), so he would probably be content to be around you in any way, even if it isn’t romantic, because he’s just so happy and kind of astounded you want to be around him as much as you do at all

-he isn’t very obviously like this, though, it’s just thoughts he has sometimes so you don’t notice anything, but they’re still there. he doesn’t think you’d want to date someone like him, after all, he’s a bit of a screw-up, right?(NO HE ISNT..DICE IS BABEY) he’s only 20, and yet he’s already made so many bad decisions…

-and he finds himself enjoying your company even more than usual, he really does love you so much and he isn’t used to feeling this way! his chest hurts when he thinks about you, and he just sees your hand and wants to hoLD IT SO BADLY but he can’t bring himself to say anything

-he’s always been a little clingy towards people who are kind to him, but you notice he’s been like that even more than usual. he doesn’t even beg money from you like usual, he’s just…there, a lot. not that you mind, in fact you welcome his company, you just notice that difference

-he stays with you a lot, and you guys still have just as much fun together as you always did! he’s great to be around, he’s really lighthearted even if he gets riled up easily, and maybe you start to notice this light, fluttery feeling when he’s around too..but you brush it off as just general enjoyment of his presence

-it’s one day, after he’s had a particular lucky streak down at the slot machines, that he feels that wave of dopamine hit and just rushes to your place, excited at all his winnings, and accidentally-on-purpose (he’s aware of what he’s doing, he just can’t really control his mouth lol) tells you how he feels in a big rush of excitement (probably like “AND I THINK I WON CAUSE I’VE BEEN AROUND YOU A LOT!! YOU’RE LIKE MY LUCKY CHARM!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH Y/N!!”

-you’re like “uhh..ok what?? bruh moment” as he keeps going, then he realises what he said and COMPLETELY STOPS, he’s speechless for a good few seconds, before he turns pretty red and starts pacing around the room ranting about how it wasn’t supposed to go like that!!! he wasn’t supposed to say anything because there’s no way you’d wanna be with someone like him!!

-and then you go over to him to calm him down, take his hand in yours and assure him that actually, you do want to be with him. you tell him you’ve liked him for a while now too, but you’d only figured it out recently, and he’s just so shocked that his brain stops working for a moment and he looks like “…” but as a person

-and then he gets the biggest, cheesiest dice-grin on his face and gives you a BIG BIG BONE-CRUSHING HUG, spins you around, and says he loves you over and over while you laugh and cry simultaneously because you think he’s about to snap your spine

-after that’s over, you tell him that he shouldn’t think of himself as trash or anything; sure he’s like the definition of bad decisions, but you don’t care because he���s an honest, kind person whose company you genuinely enjoy, and even if he gambled all his clothes and everything else he owns away, you’d still wanna be with him because you feel the same, you love him

-he’s so happy! he feels luckier than he ever has in his entire life, his day has gone so well and he has the best sleep (by your side, ofc) he’s had in a long time

Doppo

-a nervous wreck..you think he’s bad normally?? he’s 100 times worse now that he’s realised he likes you in a romantic way

-he’s REALLY OBVIOUS!! poor man :^( he stutters while he’s talking to you (more than usual), he blushes BRIGHT RED when asking you anything, he’s fidgeting SO MUCH like his hands are shaking (knees weak palms sweaty mom’s spaghetti), and sometimes he can’t even bring himself to greet you when he sees you because he’s just too afraid of screwing up and making you hate him (as if you could ever..doppo is amazing)

-everyone within a mile radius can tell how he feels. hifumi almost tells you himself before doppo smacks him straight across the face and tells him to shut the hell his mouth before apologizing profusely to you and dragging mr hifoomi away for a severe talking to about Social Boundaries (then apologizes for giving him the smack and pats him on the head. i love their friendship)

-he’d go out of his way to see you at least once a day, even if he can’t always bring himself to talk to you and even if it means he gets home a little later than usual. he feels horribly creepy just watching you, but his heart is fluttering so much and his chest is aching so badly he can’t do much more than that, no matter how much he wants to go over to you

-he will NEVER confess purposely. his self esteem is so cripplingly low he’s convinced you don’t even like him that much anyway, let alone return his feelings, and he thinks him confessing would just make you despise him, so he never says anything and just remains stuck in this horrible loop

-one day, however, he’s had the shittiest day in a while (at least, it stands out compared to others), and you invite him over for dinner (it’s been a while, after all!). he thinks, why not? how could this day get any worse? at least he’ll get to see you, even if he makes a big fool of himself and you end up hating him. at least it’ll all be over in one day

-you’re actually a little nervous yourself. you really like doppo, and you had plans to say something to him yourself this evening. you didn’t want to give him a nervous breakdown, however, so you had this whole thing planned out where you’d give him the most relaxing dinner possible so he’d at least be in a relatively normal state of mind so you could tell him your feelings

-well!! spoiler alert, it doesn’t end up like that. doppo, more anxious than usual, keeps slipping over his words and keeps muttering under his breath, and you can only seem to calm him for a max of 5 minutes at a time before he’s at it again. you manage to get through dinner fine, in fact it’s really pleasant, but after that he doesn’t know what to do and ends up biting his nails on your couch while you tidy up

-he says it accidentally. he didn’t mean for you to hear it, but he says that he loves you and you almost drop the plate you’re holding in shock because!! no way! he feels the same? and you turn around and he’s got this absolutely devastated look on his face because he’s convinced he’s just ruined your entire relationship

-you rush over to him before he can start apologizing and self-deprecating again (he gets a few out before you reach him) and you pull him up off the couch and into your arms because boy does he look like he needs a hug right now. you stroke his hair and reassure him that you feel the same! in fact, you were planning on confessing to him yourself at some point tonight, but he beat you to it! you congratulate him on being brave enough to say it aloud, even if it was an accident

-doppo’s in shock. he doesn’t know what to say, but he loves the feeling of your hand stroking his hair and leans into it, unable to believe his luck. he probably starts crying as soon as his emotions catch up to him because he’s SO RELIEVED, that was so stressful for him, and he’s not sure if he’s felt this happy in a long time

-he calls hifumi and tells him he’ll be out for the night, before he decides to stay over at your place for the night (screw work, he’ll call in sick) and maybe talk to you about nice things while he falls asleep. he’s wanted this for so long and you’re more than happy to have him over to talk things out properly (and also try to lift his spirits a little. poor man needs a break)

-and now u guys r dating and it’s wholesome and pleASE GIVE HIM ALL UR LOVE HE NEEDS IT!! 

[planetsam]

could u write something were Alex stayed with michael the night rosa died? happy ending of course!!

He’s going to die.

That’s the only thought he has as the world goes white and hot. This is different from the exorcism or those foster dads who spoke with their belts. Any movement he makes he can feel the sickening sensation of something inside him shifting. He can’t think past the blinding pain. He’s going to die on this floor is his only thought. Every breath he takes brings the world back into focus and the pain gets that much worse. Everything seems to slow down. The last thing he expect to see in the world is the sight of Alex on top of his father. There’s blood, Michael realizes dimly. Blood is everywhere. He realizes that Alex isn’t stopping. His tongue is thick in his mouth but he tries to force the words out.

“‘Lex?” Alex doesn’t stop, “Alex!” He still doesn’t stop. Michael sets his nerves and moves his hand, just a bit. The pain explodes again and he thinks he gasps, but there’s a ringing in his ears and he can feel his throat working. “Alex.”

Alex is there suddenly, crouched with him under the table. Horror is painted all over his beautiful features and Michael can see the fingerprint discoloration from his father’s grip. Michael looks at Alex’s blood splattered knuckles and then back at the limp form of his dad. Dimly he remembers that Alex is the youngest of four. Everyone’s in the military. He also remembers prom and Alex slugging that douche. Alex knows how to throw a punch. He doesn’t look like it right now though. He looks sick. He’s pale and his eye makeup is smudged. He reaches for Michael and then wipes his hands on his pants quickly when he sees the blood on them. His hands hesitate and Michael has to fight the desperate urge to move his own hand.

“My hand,” he chokes out.

“God,” Alex squeezes his eyes shut and then gets up. Michael is mindful of how he turns as Alex grabs a bed sheet and rips a long strip from it. It’s easy to find a board and he comes back over, “I’m going to move your hand onto this,” he says.

“No, don’t—“ Michael starts to protest.

“It’s okay,” Alex says, his voice coming out much stronger, “I’ll be careful.”

Michael looks up at him. Whatever his hand looks like must be horrible, Alex has gone several shades paler. But he smiles reassuringly. Michael looks away and presses his face into his own arm. Alex is so carefully and Michael does his absolute best to muffle the sound he makes as Alex gets his hand onto the board. He wraps the strips of the sheet around it and carefully brings it across his chest. He secures the board and hand to his bare chest and then comes back around. Michael realizes he must be truly in shock because Alex has his hoodie in his hands and gently tugs it over Michael’s shoulders.

“I’m taking you to the hospital,” he says.

“No,” Michael says, “no hospitals.” Alex stares at him. Michael takes a chance and looks down at his hand. His stomach rolls and he’s sick before he can stop himself. Those don’t look like his fingers. Alex looks gutted when he raises his head, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand, “I can’t go to the hospital. I need Max.”

“Max?” Alex frowns, “Max Evans?”

“Yes,” Michael grips the front of Kyle’s shirt, “I need Max.”

“I don’t understand. You need the hospital,” he says, “Michael your hand—“ he shakes his head, “we can call Max while we’re on our way there.”

“No, no if I go to the hospital,” he scrambles for the excuse he needs, “they’ll send me back to my foster dad.”

“Then we’ll lie,” Alex says, guiding him to his feet, “you can’t lose your hand.”

“I can’t afford a doctor,” he tries.

“I’ll pay for it,” Alex tells him rashly.

Michael stumbles and realizes they’re outside. Being steered towards the car. Ever step is agony and when he blinks again he’s in the car. Alex is in the drivers seat. He tries to start the engine and Michael bows his head. If he blacks out from the pain, which seems like it’s a real possibility, he’s going to wind up in the hospital. In the hospital means that they will know what he is. He’s not that different, far as he can tell, but he’s different somehow. He curls over his mangled hand which throbs agonizingly. He needs his brother and a gallon of acetone and Alex doesn’t—can’t—know any of that. It’s been told to him time and time again. He fully agrees. Or he has up until this moment. He would sell his soul for Max or acetone right now.

“Alex,” he says, grabbing Alex’s hand, “no hospitals.”

“I don’t understand,” Alex says, “why not? If I don’t take you to a hospital you’re going to be maimed! This is my fault, I’ll make sure you don’t go back into the system. You just need to trust me. I can’t—I can’t have you be maimed because of me.”

“Alex,” he repeats his name, “I can’t go to the hospital.”

“Why not?!”

“I’m an alien.”

Alex whips his head towards him so fast, Michael thinks he might have cracked his neck. Alex stares like he can’t decipher what Michael is saying and Michael doesn’t blame him. He’s never said the words out loud like this. Alex isn’t laughing in his face, which is what he thought it would always be. He’s also not flooring it to the nearest psych ward. Which is also how Michael thought this would go. He’s just staring at him. Probably trying to decide if he’s in shock or not. Michael’s pretty sure that he’s in shock but he is also an alien. He knows what it’s going to do but he has to prove to Alex what he is. So he focuses and uses his abilities to tug Alex’s necklace off and hold it in front of him for as long as he can. It drops into his lap as Michael opens the door and vomits again. When he turns around, Alex is wedged against the drivers side door staring at the necklace in his lap.

“I need Max,” he says, leaning his head back and closing his eyes, “Max and acetone and I’ll answer whatever you want. Just—no hospitals. Please.”

Michael doesn’t try to hide his sob of relief as the car hums to life.

When he opens his eyes again Alex is sliding back into the car. Michael expected them to be in a drugstore but they’re somewhere he doesn’t recognize. Alex digs into the bag and pulls out a bottle. Michael’s eyes widen. They’re usually drinking nail polish remover that has a percentage of Acetone but this is just acetone. He barely remembers he only has one working hand. Then he has to watch Alex take off the plastic wrapping and unscrew the cap. Michael is sure he has questions but his survival instincts kick in and he grabs the bottle, pouring it down his throat. The pain instantly lessens its death grip on him. He lowers the bottle, letting the pain relief coast through his veins. His head clears, just enough for him to look over at meet Alex’s stunned gaze. Alex pulls out his phone and looks from Michael to the information and back again. Michael wants to laugh.

“I’m not trying to off myself with nail polish remover,” he says, “it’s, uh, it’s like a pain reliever,” he explains, “for me.”

“Because you’re an alien,” Alex says.

Michael nods.

“I had sex with an alien,” he says, his voice still dull and distant.

“We prefer the term probing,” Michael says.

“Oh my God,” Alex looks at him with complete horror, “I had sex with an alien who likes terrible puns,” his eyes widen, “I made out with an alien in the ufo emporium,” he grips the steering wheel, “oh my God,” he repeats.

“I appreciate your very valid right to freak out right now,” Michael says, “but is there any way we can get to Max.”

“Oh—oh!” Alex looks at his hand, “yes, hang on,” he starts the car again.

Michael slumps back in the seat, seeing if it helps if he gingerly rests his hand against the board. It doesn’t. He still feels sick and the pain is getting worse, even with the acetone. He can also feel distress coming from his siblings. He has to get to them. He needs Max’s help. He also feels like he needs to be sick again or he might black out.

“Hey, talk to me,” Alex says, breaking through his fog, “Michael, talk to me,” he repeats, “tell me about being an alien.”

Michael laughs.

“Where—“ he shakes his head, “where do I start?”

“Uh,” Alex fumbles, “the beginning. Start at the beginning.”

“I was in a pod,” he starts.

The story is weird to say aloud and in one go. Several times Alex almost gets them into full on accidents. But the story comes out, as cut and dry as Alex can make it. He tells him about the pods, about waking up, about being separated. He tells him as much as he can before they get to where the others are. They aren’t alone. Michael turns to Alex as fast as he can, before Alex gets out of the car.

“Stay here,” he says.

“You have one hand,” Alex points out.

“You gotta stay here,” Michael says, “I don’t know what happened but if you stay here you could—“ he doesn’t know what to say, “you could walk away from this.”

Alex’s eyes darken and he leans forward. Michael swallows at the determination in his eyes. Everything’s gone to shit and is going to go even more in that direction, but looking at Alex’s dark eyes in his smudged makeup, the most coherent thought Michael has is that he loves him. That he would go for his father again and again, how ever many times he had to to keep him safe. But the words tangle in his mouth as he stares at him.

“No,” Alex says and gets out of the car.

Michael scrambles to keep up.

There is so much death.

Michael’s seen one person die because of them but there’s three. And a whole lot of questions where Alex is involved. But Alex is beautiful and defiant and the unwelcome voice of reason as they stage a cover up and Michael lies to protect Isobel. When he does, Alex grips his good hand so tightly Michael thinks that maybe they can get through this. One alien or all the aliens, it doesn’t matter who killed them. Max tries to bring Rosa back and winds up collapsed there, barely able to move. Alex helps them stage the wreck on the condition they put all the girls in the back seat. Let the police run circles around how that happened.

“What about his hand?” Alex asks.

“I can’t,” Max mumbles, “right now. Michael—“

“I’ll be fine for tonight,” Michael assures him. He looks at Alex pleadingly. Alex clenches his jaw, “get him home Iz.”

“Tomorrow,” Max says.

Michael nods. He holds it together right up until the pair of them leave. Then he kind of folds over his arm and tries not to scream. Everything is wrong and the pain in his hand is unbelievable. But Alex wraps his arms around him, whispering nonsense as he helps support his arm and guides him back to the car. They don’t have anywhere to go, Michael realizes. Either of them. Alex doesn’t seem very upset by that and Michael has never had anywhere else to go. Michael directs them to his old spot and directs Alex to setting up the tarp. They crawl under, tucking together in his sleeping bag. The blue paints Alex a different shade of beautiful and Michael stares at him.

“I wanted to tell you what I was,” he says. Alex looks at him, “before we—“ he trails off.

“Had sex?”

“Kissed,” Michael says.

“Does anyone else know?” Alex asks. Michael shakes his head, “I’m the first person you told?” He nods. Alex looks at him for another moment and shifts closer, “how’s your hand?”

“It hurts,” Michael says honestly, “but I’d do it again.”

Alex dips his head, resting his forehead briefly on Michael’s shoulder. The future before them is dizzying with all of its possibilities. Alex knows and they’ve wound up together anyway. Alex knows and he’s not under the same roof as his abusive dick of a father. The truck’s not ideal, but for the first time it feels like a start and not a life sentence. Michael has no idea if they can figure this out or even what figuring it out might look like. But he presses his cheek to the crown of Alex’s head and like he has since Alex came into his life properly, he closes his eyes and lets himself believe he has a place here. 

[meat-husband]

Michael Myers - Alphabet Ask Meme

I’m hoping to start doing requests on this blog, so I thought I would start up with the alphabet ask memes as a sort of intro! I figure all the letters get asked eventually, so I’m just doing all of them in one go. There will be one of these posted for each character I’m writing.

I have a page with what and who I write for here.

Both the NSFW and fluff alphabet asks are under the cut!

NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

If you're lucky, he'll fall asleep and allow you to stay next to him. In this case, you can get away with pressing into his side or hugging his arm, but don't expect the cuddles to be returned. Otherwise, he's probably halfway out the door and planning his next murder before you know what's happened.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

There’s nothing in particular that stands out about himself in his opinion. But if he had to pick something, his hands are probably the most useful - people aren’t going to stab themselves, you know.

Michael likes your eyes, so easy to see your fear and panic and lust. He’s always liked being able to read someone so easily when they can’t do the same to him.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes leaving you messy. He’ll dig his fingers into you afterwards and smear his cum into your skin, then have you lick his fingers clean.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There’s a lot you don’t know about him. Not even because he doesn’t want you to or hides it, but simply because he either won’t or can’t communicate it. He doesn’t much care if you happen to see him do something, you knowing doesn’t matter. The only secrets he has are the ones you haven’t stumbled across yet.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s peeked through enough windows to get the gist of it, but it’s not too much help during the real thing. Mostly he’ll rely on instinct and what he’s seen others do, but he’ll sometimes listen when you try and show him.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He prefers to have you trapped against something, limiting your movement without binding you. It keeps you controlled with less effort and unable to get away from him, not that you could anyways.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s not completely blank faced under the mask, but you aren’t likely to see it. Even then he’s still very much on the ‘serious’ side of things. He doesn’t care if you’re amused or laughing or feeling soft, but it’s not something he would show if he did feel it it doesn’t count if he smiles cause you can’t see it.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’ll sometimes shower when he comes around and if you’re lucky it’ll be before any sexytimes. He’s not usually filthy, but human blood is sort of gross no matter the amount. You’re still trying to convince him to let you wash his clothes but so far it’s a losing battle.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

There’s zero romance in this man, probably in the negative actually. You’re not gonna get any secret signs of affection or special gifts. The fact that he doesn’t murder you is about as intimate as he gets, and even then it’s a slippery slope.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

It’s pretty rare for Michael to take care of himself, he has enough patience to wait out anything, even himself. If you don’t come to him first, then he’ll get around to tracking you down eventually.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

He’s up for almost anything, probably has the least hard no’s out of everyone. He doesn’t keep a favorite for long, there’s so much to try and he’s got to make up for all that time being locked up.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

It’s honestly wherever he happens to be when the mood strikes, or really wherever you happen to be. Inside, outside, public or not isn’t going to stop or inconvenience him. If you don’t want the whole town finding out you’re banging the boogeyman then it’s on you to keep quiet and not draw attention.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You’re not really sure yourself. It’s hard to imagine what he’s thinking most of the time and so you can’t say what it is that sets him off when he does approach you.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Absolutely would not agree to being bound in a way he couldn’t escape from. If you wanna tie him up that’s fine, he’ll just snap the bindings when he feels like it, but anything he can’t get out of when he wants isn’t going to happen.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Not a big fan of giving. He will, but only when the mood strikes him and that’s not terribly often. Maybe it’s just his preference or maybe he doesn’t like removing the mask for it, but no amount of begging will change his mind.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends if he’s trying to annoy you or not. His preference is always rough, usually fast, but if that’s what you’re craving he’ll slow it down just to get you frustrated. If he’s not doing something to pester you then he’s not having a good time.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Quickies work better with his routine, which for a guy that has no job other than murder is pretty booked apparently, but you’ll need the breaks between full blown sessions anyways.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

You’re gonna lose track of how many times you’ve been suddenly pulled into the bushes or someone’s backyard. It doesn’t matter who’s around to hear either - he’s always quiet, if you can’t shut up then that’s your fault.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He’s pretty average, maybe 2 rounds in a row. But he’s the undisputed king of edging, so that one round is going to last half the day.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I think he would definitely use things if you offered them, but do you really want to give him that kind of power? Introducing him to new things is dangerous on its own, let alone things that may or may not go inside you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He can drag shit out for daaayys. All he’s gotta do is let you get yourself worked up, sit passively until you’re shaking in his lap, contributing nothing more than light touches - then just get up and leave. When he does come back, you’re impatient and needy and stupid enough to get back into his lap and let the whole thing happen again, until he’s decided the game is over.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Quiet enough to unsettle you, make you wonder if he’s even feeling anything. Heavy breathing is about all you’ll get, but it makes you wonder if he would be any more expressive without the mask (he’s barely holding in those moans under there but you don’t know that).

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

The mask is actually super uncomfortable and hot and humid but goddammit he’s got a reputation to uphold.  

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s hard to say. Most of the time, you will have to be the one to start something, and he tends to go along with it. If Michael is the one taking action, it’s going to seem sudden and out of nowhere from your perspective - meanwhile he’s spent two days hiding around corners, watching you.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not very easily, or often. It’s practically unheard of for Michael to fall asleep without a few hours of tossing and turning. Being put to sleep for 20 some years via tranquilizer has sorta fucked up his body’s ability to do that naturally. There’s not much to do for it other than wait it out - you might be inclined to try soothing him to sleep, but that’s just gonna piss him off and make him leave to wander around the house, or the streets. Best course of action is to pass out yourself, and there’s a 50/50 chance he may have done the same by the time you wake up.

Fluff Alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

You’re interesting, for the moment. He’s missed out on a lot of experiences in his life and you being the one to introduce him to all these new things keeps you interesting. Your affection for him is something strange to him and he enjoys testing its boundaries.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

There are many reasons this is not a good idea. Even if we’re not including the brother/sister dynamic from the sequels, he still has a history of killing family. If you happen to get pregnant accidentally, it’s 50/50 if he’d let either of you live, and at best he’s just gonna disappear.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

Cuddling is a single player game with him. He might tolerate you climbing all over him but he’s not going to reciprocate. You carefully ignore those rare mornings when he’s managed to fall asleep next to you and you wake up with him snoring into your hair, legs tangled with yours.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Sometimes he will sit next to you while you watch a movie. Better chances the bloodier the movie is. If you’re really, really lucky, he’ll eat in the same room with you.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are his. He might not be around all the time, but this is still an ‘ownership’ before it’s a ‘relationship’. There aren’t many rules to it, he’s content to let you do what you want for the most part, but he’s ruthless about enforcing the few he does have. 

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Love might be too strong a word. He likes you enough to not want to kill you, however that happened. He also doesn’t want anyone else to harm you, so he likes you enough to protect you as well. He certainly doesn’t want anyone else touching you. He knew all of this pretty quickly, otherwise you’d have ended up dead once you attracted his attention.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Sometimes he’s not rough, but that’s not the same as gentle. He’s not used to casual touch so he’s a little more uncertain about movements that aren’t made with the intent to kill. He is overly cautious rather than gentle, unsure about how it’s supposed to feel.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Michael will let you hold his and depending on what you’re doing (talking, watching tv, reading) he may tighten his grip in response but he’s not holding your hand. That’s totally not what's happening here.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

There was an unlocked door and Michael was interested, that’s what always draws him towards a person or place. He liked the fight you put up, the fear and panic, but really it was more his amusement that saved you - you’re the clumsiest person he’s ever chased. 

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

You’ve found some of your favorite books shredded on the floor and have a sneaking suspicion he may resent the time you spent pouring over that new release. Besides the obvious knife holes, he’s careful to leave the remains scattered all over where you can’t miss them.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

You’ll be smooching the mask for a long time before you get the real thing. It’s not as terrible as you thought, but he makes no effort to return the kiss from under the mask. Real kisses are few and far between, and handed out only when he feels like it. Even when he gets comfortable enough to not wear it to bed, the face is still off limits.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

You’ve tried to get it out of him, but so far nothing has worked (“If you love me don’t say anything.” “...” “Got you!”). He’ll huff when you say it, so you’re always sure to lay it on real thick and sappy, just to get on his nerves.

M = Memory (What’s their favorite memory together?)

When Michael has a favorite memory he likes to relive them. Unfortunately for you, he’s rather fond of your first meeting with him and it had been a frantic jumble, running through your house while a manic with a knife followed. You know what he’s up to when he comes towards you with a determined step and a raised knife, but it’s still terrifying (and that’s why he likes it tbh).

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

He brings things home, but not ever anything useful. Usually it’s sharp objects, you’ve got quite the collection of random knives now. He does at least leave them in the sink, so you wake up early to remove old blood and scrub your kitchen down before breakfast. He doesn’t reuse them either, so you either keep a handful of incriminating murder weapons or try to discreetly dispose of incriminating murder weapons.

O = Orange (What color reminds them of their other half?)

Blacks and blues and yellows, the colors of new and old bruises he’s left to mark you. It’s not just because he enjoys seeing his handprints burned into you (but that too), but reminders that he’s coming back and you’ve got promises to keep.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

He really, really hates them. It’s an easy way to get under his skin if he’s getting a little too smug about something. He’ll tolerate being called Mikey, but anything else is only going to make him grumpy. Generic ones like honey and sweetheart are bad, but if you rhyme his name to make one he will straight up leave.

Q = Quaint (What is their favorite non-modern thing?)

Well, I guess knives aren’t exactly modern and they’re probably what he’s best known for. He’s interested in new things, but doesn’t keep that interest once he’s had a look, so there isn’t much that he keeps around.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

If he’s got someone he wants to kill, then rain isn't stopping him. Most likely he’s simply peeking in windows though, with everyone inside it’s easier to find an occupied house and less likely that someone will notice him.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

You can never tell when he’s upset until he snaps. It will usually happen when you’re gone and you’ll come home to a wrecked house, broken furniture and torn clothes, ominous red stains in the bathroom. He’ll stay away for days, sometimes longer, and there’s no way of telling what set him off.

Michael’s not great at comforting others, that should be pretty obvious. He’ll avoid you until the crying or moping is over but if it’s something he can’t get around all he can really do is be nearby. Having a breakdown while a serial killer looms in the corner of your bathroom is odd enough to shake you out of it actually, so it’s helpful in a weird way.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

He’ll listen to you and you can usually tell by his body language what he thinks of something, but it’s really a guessing game. You’re never sure if you’re right and sometimes you must read him wrong, but it’s never frustrating unless he’s trying to be.

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Sleep is the best way to put him in a good mood, but unfortunately it doesn’t happen very easily for him. If you’re asleep next to him he may happen to scoot closer and throw an arm over you, but that doesn’t count as snuggling because he doesn’t snuggle, you know. It’s second best to actually being asleep himself.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Michael can be so quiet that you’ve gone days without realizing he’s in the house with you. Sneaking up on you is a common occurrence and it’s always when you’re holding something breakable. He doesn’t jump out at you, but turning around to find him 2 feet away is a little concerning when you’re not expecting it. Sometimes you’ll be trying to sleep and only know he’s there when you hear someone else breathing.

W = Wedding (When, how?)

He’ll take jokes about it just fine, but bringing it up in a serious way would just push him away. You’re not going to get any sort of acknowledgement of affection out of him, let alone a big party dedicated to it.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

You haven’t noticed that he seems to prefer anything in particular, but it’s safe to say that a wide variety of spooky Halloween songs have made it into all of your playlists. You can’t tell, but you really hope it annoys him.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

He doesn’t think of it at all. He’s living in your house and not killing you, that’s as committed as he gets. Not to say he doesn’t consider this a serious relationship in his own way, cause there’s not many ways out of it that end well for you.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Please don’t.