#this is why the quality of representation and not just seeing a face that looks like yours is important

[navillee]

hiii i've been an avid fan of your tumblr hehe and i've been meaning to request you this >< so we know that zayne is a teetotaler but BUT do you perhaps have any ideas/headcanons on how he would act if he's drunk? bet he can get drunk with just a sip of an alcohol and be a clingy mess towards mc 🤤

Oh, sweetie, it will be a pleasure to tell you Zayne has different dimensions depending on the levels of alcohol on his blood. The facade of his demure behavior would start presenting fissures, escalating to a total decay.

❆ Level 1 tipsy Zayne ࿐

• As a person who's not into any sort of vice — despite being ready to fight a god just so he can get laid by his woman every life possible, that doesn't count — Zayne only drink alcohol at social gatherings, more specifically, when someone makes a toast or when his colleagues bother to insist;

Zayne doesn't drink for two reasons: he thinks alcohol is very much overrated — sugar taste better 100% of the time, it doesn't need to keep forcing ingestion to start feeling palatable — and second of all, he's terrified of not being able to control his own mind;

But surprisingly, when he participates in a toast or just gives a little sip on some drink, he doesn't lose composure at first. Rather than that, he feels even more shy. He's trying too hard not to sink into the suave fluttering sensation that small sip of champagne/wine gave him;

He feels like he's committing a sin. How dare him? Making himself so vulnerable to his own profane thoughts, lingering into his brain like a sweet, sweet poison, making his eyes remain seconds more on your frame at the other side of the room;

He's a sinner. His pure as the driven snow facade falling abruptly from grace when he realized he's already unable to control his body temperature. That evil poison flows through his blood, making he feel so hot. It's like the room is gradually turning into a representation of hell, where sinners like him belong to;

The things gotten even worse when you approached him again, randomly giving him praises such as "pretty" or "handsome" just because he's wearing a suit you picked out for him. Oh, that heat comes up from his torso to his ears and cheeks. He's not the confident demure Zayne anymore. That's why he can't look into your eyes like the sober version of himself. He's just a corrupted shadow from a twisted world where everything is just in flames, and he's not able to control his own body temperature nor face you;

Make sure to make him look into your eyes, watch that needy glimmer on his eyes while his cheeks and neck turn into a pretty shade of red. He'll try to avoid you, but again, the warm feeling is so good that he knows that he physically needs to let the control go at some point;

He wants to let go. But would you accept him as your devoted? When all he is, is nothing but a dirty sinner?

❆ Level 2 tipsy Zayne ࿐

That's a level further, that, just as level 3, only you had witnessed. It's already rare to see level one tipsy, so you got surprised when you watched that dimension of Zayne blooming in front of you;

It usually happens when you two go out together to a new restaurant, especially the ones that have Italian or French cuisine, the ones that offer high-quality wine cellar. When you got sweet-grape-based alcohol drink and a doctor's sweet teeth together, you know, because the next day is his day off, that you're the one driving Zayne home tonight;

It takes the right conditions for him to get himself that tipsy; it's like seeing a double rainbow or else;

Tipsy Zayne is the dictionary's definition of a simp;

If he was already crumbling on level one, at level two, he's a whole new demeanor. That's the level he's not able to hold his thoughts — and tongue — anymore, so even though he's still a blushing mess, he will share with you how needy he truly is;

Zayne will compliment you, confess that the fact you didn't send him any sort of message/meme/emoji during his shift got him worried and upset, would reveal how many times he thought of you that day...he just will keep mumbling in simp language;

"Mamit- Manipja***...that's a word. learned last week? ...can't remember. It'sooo trusfating...I feel that every.time. we'retogether." *intensively blushes while looking deep into your soul. Looks away, all blushed and randomly change the topic.*

Will land you his coat anyway cause this man can lose an arm he'll still be top tier gentleman;

Zayne would grab your hand from the other side of the table and kiss it, rubbing his cheeks on the palm of your hand. It's a sign to head home;

The last time you delayed heading home when he start doing that hand kissing thing you two ended up fucking in the car;

Zayne is more desperate when he's like that. He always gets this urge under control when he's sober. However when he's tipsy, his beggingmometer would have a lower resistance;

Entering his home, stumbling on every corner, not knowing if it is the alcohol effect of the heat of the lustful kiss you're both sharing that's making his mind so foggy;

"Hmm...oh, fuck~~ᝰ.ᐟ𖹭ֶֶֶָָָ֢֢֢ Let me kneel, yeah? P-please let me kneel for you? I-i promise will be a good boy~ᝰ.ᐟ"

He would get more vocal, moaning depravedly, mumbling sweet nothings and revealing how much perverted thoughts he has;

Zaynw would get overwhelmed more easily, so he probably will cry during sex by how good it feels, and he can't take anymore orgasm denials;

It would be a total mess at the end, but a total cuddly boyfriend, asking for praises and drooling all over your collarbones at the aftercare;

Zyane would be an adorable vulnerable needy mess that deserves all the love and praise.

❆ Zayne Drunk level ࿐

It was only once in your lifetime that you witnessed this side of Zayne. And you never want to see it again, at least not at the setting of events that make it occur;

It was when you both had given at time to your relationship, not knowing exactly if you two would actually come back to each other. You and Zayne had broken up in some bad terms after a huge argument involving jealousy at work environment, plus you being wreckless as a hunter;

Two weeks after the break up, you decided to get back your things that still remained on his house;

When you entered his house — you still had the extra keys with you — you couldn't witness something more unexpected: the house that used to be all tidy up all the time was in a state of calamity. Zayne's dress clothes remained on the couch or careless on the floor, unwashed. There's work papers on every table surface possible, together with some high alcoholic elixir bottles here and there. All empty.

When you heard erratic steps walking towards you, you turned around to see Zayne failing his own gravity center when he tried to get closer. He was in a pitiful condition, the puffy red eyes announcing he probably had been crying or severely sleep deprived;

When he saw you, his eyes lighted up, and he desperately fell into his knees, begging forgiveness;

Even when he's on his most pathetic self, Zayne would never forget to kneel to you. After two weeks of trying to distract his mind, exhausting himself with work and alcohol, all he wanted was to have you back into his life again. He couldn't bear the idea of his life without your presence. So he cried and begged, and you hugged him, petting his hair, comforting him. He trembled on your embrace, warm tears soaking your neck as you, just like magic soothed him down. Poor doctor, bad as handling alcohol just as not being on mc's loving arms.

*** mamihlapinatapai: word to describe the feeling to people have when they're staring each other face a face, they wanna take action, but at the same time they both know none of them will make a move.

[fractal--cat]

let's start to take beldaruit seriously!

wha fandom pls share this post, my blog is finally not shadowbanned and i really want more people to see this. thank you

(also no beta read but who cares. feel free to correct me)

this is a beldaruit analysis written after ch.81. spoilers: he's absolutely not just a silly old man on a chair, but actually one of the most well-written characters in wha i think

1. IS HE ACTUALLY THAT OLD?

yeah im really meticulous, but i want to start from this and want you to read it. being old is not bad at all, but i think y'all guys exaggerate beldaruit's actual age.

please just go search some pics of real people in their sixties, seventies. go compare his face with other actually old char's faces. he's not that old :)

beldaruit's smoke figures of himself look younger than his real body, that's true. but here's the comparison of his true appearance to others' who are really about 60-70 i guess

+ beldaruit's lifestyle is not healthy at all. his physical state is bad, he has not many ways to do physical activities, he spends most of his time being in his room. all the more so, he smokes. knowing this, i think he looks even older than he actually is and he's mostly like 45-48.

to be short, he's mostly like your dad, not your grandpa :DD

2. IS HE ACTUALLY THAT SILLY?

yeah he's the silliest. but it's a bit more complicated.

observing, i've came to the conclusion that beldaruit acts silly, too energetic and entertaining only with kids or with ones he remembers since they were kids (e.g. qifrey, olruggio)

there's a simple obvious reason for it, beldaruit says it himself:

yes, he genuinely loves magic and to teach magic. his emotions are true, but a bit overplayed to affect on younger witches and to make them as in love with magic as he is.

one more remark. beldaruit's behavior with riliphin is not as with most kids. i think it's because beldaruit creates a unique approach to each of little witches. beldaruit is able to control and tune his emotional bombing depending on the situation. he is also able to feel well what's going on in others's hearts and minds and he builds his own behavior based on this.

the silver eve arc lets us know more obviously that beldaruit can be serious, responsible, communicating calmly and constructively when it's required. he obviously can modulate his overplaying and emotions when he must do so, there's no problem for him! he is also abnormally loyal to witches' world laws and values, literally more loyal than the most of witches (but we'll talk about it a bit later)

beldaruit is broad-minded, he often manages his own personality qualities to match others', he can entertain others while at the same time taking a huge responsibility (he's the one of three sages after all)

3. IS HIS DISABILITY ADDED JUST FOR REPRESENTATION?

thoughts below are just my hypotheses and personal opinion, keep it in mind

beldaruit's disability is a really important part of him that affects the plot and i think it can help us to understand his outlook and values better.

these engendale's words is kind of synopsis of my take on it:

on the one hand ofc that's not true that beldaruit sees himself better and more important than others! but on the other hand these words are not just a misconception and i'll prove it

as i said, beldaruit is like abnormally and even compulsively loyal to witches' world laws and values. he is also strictly against the forbidden magic. yes he is kind of flexible in this question, but still strictly against the direct violation of the law. that's because he thinks that lack of devotion to the law and to the image of an ideal good witch is a sign of weakness and egoism.

but why does he connect these dots? i think that he cultivates his own fortitude in not using forbidden magic for healing himself, not getting magic and medicine together. beldaruit is the wise in teachings, "stands at the pinnacle of society", maybe the person who knows about magic more than anyone else, at least he's a really thoughtful and smart person. so he'd easily find a way to heal himself using magic with minimal losses of reputation and quality of his life. but he rigorously rejects this idea.

the fact of following this strict inner moral code is a kind of ego supply for beldaruit. despite of his own thoughts about altruism and global equality - how ironic - this is kind of self-affirmation for him, through overcoming himself and a bit demonstrative self sacrifice to the law and greater values.

⬆️ and that's why beldaruit is so aggressive with deanreldy, who wants to mix medicine with magic and talks too light-headedly about it. yes, beldaruit remembers the day of pact and that's really a strong reason already to act so, but i think there are more personal reasons too

⬆️ even more obvious reference on beldaruit's health state in his own thoughts on forbidden magic (it was out of topic, him and coco weren't talking especially about healing)

⬆️ there (and not only there.. like.. in general) is a hint on parallel/contrast between beldaruit and qifrey. qifrey is ready to consider the option of using forbidden magic to bring his eye back. beldaruit sees it as simply giving in to temptation. that's the thing that makes them different

in ch.81 beldaruit shows almost protruding humility and resignation to the fact that his hand is broken. and he has the same mindset about his disability in general. and that's not because he doesn't care about it. his behavior patterns are similar to self harm, that toxically much he is affected by ideas of altruism, self disregarding and not showing signs of weakness.

and he is attach so much to his own image of being disabled. not in a pitiful way, but in a way that makes him motivated to show and push his mental strength to others. i think beldaruit is kind of floating between self-devaluation (that makes him show that much humility) and self-exaltation above others who are "egoistic and weak" and break the law and/or use forbidden magic (of what engendale was saying about)

WHAT'S THE CONCLUSION?

beldaruit is so amazing ahahdhahagha😭

he is so complex and so versatile and so underrated. his personality has so many forms and shapes, you can find both wonderful and displeasing parts there and that's literally a sign of a well-written character. his lore is very subtle and implicit, but so interesting for trying to understand.

beldaruit needs a patpat .

[fisheito]

Today's topic is:

-bithc i 'm gonna kilg him

yaku and rei wear the same eyeliner. maybe not the exact same pencil, because of hygiene reasons, but certainly MATCHING eyeliner. rei is teaching yakumo how to wear eye makeup.

i even checked the other two to make sure it wasn't an "everyone gets red eye makeup as an Artistic Decision"

just some happy reflected light in garu's eyes, and quincy? that's All-Natural Depression Brand eyebags, baybeieee!!!!

wait, if the red glow on garu's eyes is just a lighting effect,... and it looks similar to rei's............

no, you know what? rei and yaku share the SAME physical eyeliner now. if yakumo can have shower sex in a public bathroom stall!!BAREFOOT! and not get foot fungus, he's immune to everything. they are passing the pencil between each other. Father applied it onto both of them before this photo.

my hungry brain thought this was a carrot. :(.

the detail on the EYES!! the STITCHING! the artist didn't have to add the TEXTURE of the thing because. you know. fictional 2D men. BUT NO!!! THAT'SSOME REAL THREAD RIGHT THERE!!!!!!!!!!

GOTDAMB YAKUMO HANDSTICTTCHING THE ENTIRE CUTE LITTLE FACE AND EMBROIDERING THE. EEVRYTHING

i doubt he got fabric with those kitty spots already on it. he must have handpainted or stitched or...SOMETHING those patterns onto the base fabric.

AND it's TWO TONED with the white belly and underside of the paws

AND THE WIDDLE CLAWS

insane seamstress powers

if garu made that meat block, then he's pretty DAMNNABLYT good at sewing too

clean seams!!! and some juicy decor, for the texture of the flesh! AND the shape of the bone! wow! puppy's handy with a needle too!!

i cooooould imagine that someone else sewed the meat charm and gave it to garu, but why would i think that,,,

when i can imagine garu ALSO being adept at arts AND crafts. he can draw AND make cute plushies.

Garu, coming to an artist alley near u!!!!!!!!

quincy's handiwork also lookin pretty clean.

is it artist simplification of objects in the background, or is it a genuine representation of that character's ability to sew evenly? WE'LL NEVER KNOW! but i'm treating it as the latter!!

possibly hand-painted topper blush. cute and round. non lopsided ears. once again, hands with Experience

and here is where we get more HOMELY

i doubt that rei's bad with needles. man is injecting himself with substances at least once a day (hypothesis)

but he's also not gonna be a neat freak and put 4000% effort into a project like this just for fun. he'll join in the escapades but who cares about the Professional Sellable Quality of his final Father scent powder orb?

even if the stitches are more visible than the others, they're even. that's more than i can accomplish. THUS, rei has skillz but is simply not that invested

he is MORE invested in seeing the wolf pup have a fun time

:') soft expression

and now, back to my first point:

case in point:

wtf you mean he just SMILING. and CONTENT. and RELAXED? not an inkling of ancxieity for once. just staring down happily at his eiden-assigned fursona ball. did all the clan members get together and discuss what eiden's fursona was? how did they come to consensus? when did yakumo start sewing emotional support plush avatars of his crush? (during Feast of Roses, porobably)

hehe. i like it when Father is relaxed in a pic. he's not flying in front of any of his children to preserve their Clothed Primness. he's not getting actively bothered by overenthusiastic Other children. he is not pecking at eiden for getting too close to his treasure hoard. he is simply squeezing the presented Meat. Quality Assurance. sharing in the act of crafty creation with Sweet Puppy. talons are NOT out (more than necessary).

wait a minute.

is that a pectoral? wtf? ARENT YOU SUPPOSED TO BE CONCAVE? FLAT AS A BOARD? GET OUTTA HERE WITH YOUR EXISTING MUSCLE GROUP AND A WAY TOO TIGHT---

i wonder what room they're in. it's really nice. so peaceful with the bundles of flowers hung up, too. it's giving me the ambience of that atrium where they locked all the bottoms up in suits that one time. those two times? looks like they finally let the tops have some sunlight. good. they need to mingle

I HATE YOUR EDGY SKELETON 3D PAINTED SPINE ART DID YOU PAINT IT YOURSELF? SNAKEY BRUSH-WIELDINGWHORE.....................

i wonder if there's a reason why both charms have a blue rope. is it the only colour they have available? is it blue for eiden? are they all going to attach blue ropes to their charms and gift them to eiden? quincy and rei aren't finished yet (old timers moving more leisurely), so i don't know what colour they're gonna use.

yeah i'm gonna pretend they're all going to eiden. eidenblue ribbons everywhere. but they're the same as the garublue in this pic. . ................. WHATEVER,,,,,, garu belongs to eiden (master) so they can share the blue. EIDENblue coded gifts for EVERYEONE!!!!!

[inkdragon1900]

No cause there is genuinely something heartbreakingly tender about how Louis decides to let go of Ghostat after choosing to not burn Armand’s photo after REALLY looking at it.

There’s a gorgeous metaphor there that by focusing on what’s no longer there he’s missing Armand’s vulnerability. Hence him telling the art critic earlier in the episode that his interpretation of Armand based on the photo was wrong.

That is until Armand takes him to the art museum and opens up about his trauma and how he hates his job and how he doesn’t know who he is truly outside of these things because they are all he has known. Then later on when Louis is facing the photo again he can see fully what this relationship is to Armand.

The entire episode Armand wants to know what they are but Louis having been traumatized by his last relationship of course is not going to jump right back into a committed relationship with a powerful vampire with sooo much power.

But Armand freely offers the vulnerability that Louis had to fight tooth and nail out of Lestat.

Lestat doesn’t tell Louis about his trauma from his creation as a vampire until it’s something that’s in the way of him being allowed back into Louis’ life. By Armand proving that he is different from Lestat, that he wants this relationship, that he would choose Louis over power. It leaves the ball in Louis court to choose if he wants this as well.

The bench scene is perfect in every sense of the word. The heartbreaking goodbye to ghostat being a representation of Louis letting go of his grief over all of Lestat’s best qualities and the things he misses about their relationship. By doing this and grieving that he’s allowing himself to commit to his relationship with Armand by later on the bench acknowledging Armand’s vulnerability from earlier in the episode by calling him Arun and Armand answering by referring to Louis with a title of power and respect.

He even is vulnerable back by saying he’s not an artist.

But Louis was wrong.

Because he is. He has the eye.

The reason why the photo is his best piece is not just because he caught a moment of what lies under Armand’s coven leader persona but also because it captured Louis’ grief in it as well. It’s a work of art because he truly captured all three subjects, the mind of the artist behind the lens, the vunerable paramour and the absent focal point.

Louis deepest struggle is vulnerability it’s why he couldn’t tell Lestat he loved him. It’s why he reacts with anger when he’s critiqued by the art critic.

It’s why the interview failed in the 70s it will most likely be why he attacked Daniel after Daniel said “you don’t even understand the meaning of your own story.”

Louis could be a great artist if he allowed his own vulnerability to show.

The interview can be a success if he allows his vulnerability to show.

[bonetrousledbones]

i have had this steam trading card set as my computer's desktop background for so, so, so many years now. like genuinely so long that i don't actually know when i added it and definitely don't remember not having it

so. why am i only now fucking realizing that one of his arms is just not even from the same body or photo. why is it such higher quality compared to the torso & the other arm. its muscles are significantly larger than the other arm and the perspective is extremely off so it makes the hands look two wildly different sizes while also having an armpit facing the camera even though the torso is rotated in the exact opposite direction. the other arm is obviously the original that is still properly connected to the torso so what happened to the other one to make the designer of this decide to replace it. if that arm was missing from the original image then why not just find a different image with both arms on it. also sidenote i already noticed before this that the abs are airbrushed on but why are the abs airbrushed on anyway. yeah in such low quality you wouldn't be able to really see anything there if they weren't but is it really that hard to find a higher quality image of a buff guy flexing both of his arms. do you want me to believe papyrus would accept these clashing mismatched frankensteined body parts as an accurate representation of his muscles. alternatively, is papyrus genuinely just built like this

i cannot emphasize enough that i have been seeing this image every single time i've booted up my computer for probably somewhere near the past 7-8 years, if not a full decade

[james-spooky]

Eddie Diaz and the Phenomenon of Queer Representation

A post to organise my thoughts ahead of the rest of the season and to really get this off my chest! (Spoilers for 9-1-1) (It’s long and I will inevitably have more thoughts about things I failed to mention)

Within queer representation in media, there’s a certain expectation that audiences have been conditioned to accept, including the omission of any representation at all. This has led to many non-canon ships being popularised in fandoms in an attempt to obtain agency surrounding queer media. One of these such head canons is Eddie Diaz from 9-1-1 who is largely speculated to be gay. This is sort of an essay and sort of me rambling on.

Picking up in Season 8, Episode 1, Eddie’s been trying for three months so keep his shit together and try to stay in contact with his son in the wake of the whole emotionally-cheating-with-the-doppelgänger-of-your-deceased-wife situation. I think the birthday zoom was really the beginning of his breakdown. To keep all of this inside him it way too much for someone to handle. He is going to break at some point with the stress. Not only that but as others have pointed out, Helena and Ramon are not actively participating in the reconnection of their son and their grandchild. This ties into their long-term goal which has been present across multiple seasons to be Christopher’s sole caregivers, without any acknowledgment of Eddie. To me it looks like he’s been trying to put on a brave face for his kid and sort of suppress everything (as he always does) to try and be a better father. But you can’t be that person if you’re not taking care of yourself; not necessarily “putting yourself first”, not in a selfish way but genuinely having self-love and a certain assuredness, something which Eddie doesn’t appear to have pinned down. I can definitely see him being introspective this season and forced to deal with quite literally everything that’s ever happened to him and to actually process that and who he really is. Ergo, realising his sexuality.

Tim said that the episode six thing was one of his favourite moments in the show, is actively excited for us to see it, is the episode where the “reason for the moustache” is “explicitly stated”; genuinely what else could this be other than gay Eddie. I cannot think of a reason personally. Other than “religion” which I don’t is a path they’d go down; I cannot come up with another reason for why they’re being so vague about it.

This is exactly the same thought process I went through pre-s7. I wrote down all my thoughts and analysis on those articles and Buck’s arc, coming to the conclusion that there could be no other outcome other than Buck being bisexual. Before s7 there were lots of articles about Buck and they all had that same sort of strange wording surrounding his storylines that season. E.G: “a season of self-discovery for Buck”, describing him getting off that “hamster wheel” of failed relationships. Whether or not you believe that he has achieved that is beside the point; the point is that, the vague quality to them which alluded his storyline going in a particular direction is happening yet again. Ryan has the exact same thing happening now, if not more with the majority of the season’s promo being his moustache. This is pattern recognition if I’ve ever seen it. Truly, due to the sheer amount of promo and interviews there have been, in my mind I don’t see another reason for why this would be, other than Eddie having a large and pivotal storyline this season.

It’s not just “about buddie”. When people pin down a character’s sexuality to purely the ship they’re in, it annoys me because it’s genuinely about the storyline and Eddies character arc. Yes, these headcanons have stemmed from the ship and obviously if they were to go down this route, the ship would most likely be a by-product of this discovery, but it’s not the priority. It may be an end goal, but what about the journey? It’s more than ship wars or trying to one up each other. For me personally, it would be so beneficial to his character to go in this direction. Not even just for his character but for the show and representation in general. What other show on a major network would have a character who’s been on the show for multiple seasons, had relationships with women, a wife, a child, religious traumas, PTSD, grief, catholic guilt and then having a gay awakening in their eighth season? None. How many have had strong platonic male relationships? A lot. Honestly, I don’t interact with those people who whittle down Eddie having a queer realisation or the possibility of Buddie being canon as “erasing platonic male friendships”. I simply don’t buy into that and my reaction towards those people who use that argument is just “Point me towards a show where (the written above happens)” and you can’t. Because it hasn’t happened. Not only that but queer ships in mainstream shows are notorious for “queer-baiting” and not “going canon”. I could name numerous shows where this has happened all to the dismay of a large percentage of the audience. In my experience in fandoms with popular queer ships, (majority mainstream shows with non-explicitly queer characters) I cannot think of a single time where they have been confirmed in canon. To me, this would be a huge step in the right direction for queer media as a whole. Of course, we cannot deny the massive impact that Buck being canonically bisexual last season has had and I commend ABC, the writers and Tim for bringing that to our screens. It was so heartfelt and truly amazing to watch. However, in terms of fandom and popular ships, it’s a little different. I’m in no way disregarding bi Buck, but rather exploring the impact that having a popular queer ship becoming canon would have on other media and the audience in general.

As queer audiences, we are so often let down with the directions that tv shows and film take in regard to their queer-coded characters. It’s become normalised to expect disappointment over seeing a popular pairing actually become “canon” within the text itself.

I’m aware that queer-baiting is definitely different than simply having queer-coded characters, however the two often come hand in hand. There is a misconception, in my opinion that “going woke is going broke”. I think that yes, having queer elements or characters in media definitely effect the reception and reaction, especially online from the general audience. This has happened time and time again and because the negative reaction is so loud, it drowns out any of the positive ones, forcing media companies to pull back in fear of losing money or audience. They want to be seen as “impartial” as a large percentage of audiences are bigoted but by removing any conversation surrounding queer representation in media, it immediately becomes biased and panders towards the people who shout the loudest. Queer people know all too well that on social media, it can be hard to avoid the rampant bigoted views that are shared so violently towards marginalised communities. Companies are so fearful of the backlash towards queer characters, that they won’t even have them at all, regardless of whether it would be classified as “good” or “positive” representation.

In my experience with fandoms with popular queer ships, when the show is still airing there’s this sense of hope that we cling to that it might “turn out different this time” and the character or characters might actually end up canonically queer or together. And every time, it ends the same. And even if they are confirmed queer, the “bury your gays” trope swoops in before it can truly be explored. As a collective, we tend to self-deprecate in order to deal with it but it’s actually quite a damaging thing. It reinforces the idea that queer characters and storylines are not of merit or valued in mainstream media. This turns into a vicious cycle of queer-coded characters staying queer-coded and never becoming canon as that’s how far the media company producing the show is willing to go. They are not willing to take it a step further and explicitly show queer characters having agency and a place in media as this will result in backlash. Additionally, even when we are given queer characters, a lot of the time there is a lack of depth or exploration of their queerness, almost as if it doesn’t exist. For example, Loki’s genderfluidity and bisexuality is canon and confirmed but a large amount of people who were invested in this, were disappointed to see it not having any effect on his storylines at all due to Marvel as a distribution company whose audience, or rather, targeted audience is largely cisgender, straight men. Therefore, queer audiences typically already have an expectation going into a show with a queer ship; it will most likely never happen. I’ve seen first-hand people who actively don’t partake in these shows in order to avoid being disappointed and it hurts me to think that queer people have obtained this way of thinking in regard to media. That we know it’s not going to happen so we either avoid it or watch it with the miniscule hope that something will happen. And even if it does, the show will most likely get cancelled after the first season in the name of “watch hours”, (despite how dedicated or prevalent the fandom may be, dead boy detectives, IANOWT, first kill etc.) once again solidifying the belief that queer characters or stories are not worth the time, money or value that heterosexual ones are. This causes queer media to have a lack of funding and marketing, essentially dooming them to crash and burn. It’s like building a house made of paper and then blaming the weather on its destruction.

So no, I don’t believe that “going woke is going broke” as I have personally indulged in many shows and films due to the sheer prospect that there might be a queer character or couple. Too many times, I’ve binged several seasons of a show (in an alarmingly short amount of time I may add) purely because there is a popular ship/one of the characters might be queer – emphasis on might. It is due to the fear of these media companies that queer shows and film are immediately disadvantaged straight out the gate. However, I do see there has been a change. Obviously, there are many popular queer shows that have been given chances such as Heartstopper and Interview With The Vampire. To me, this clearly shows that queer storylines and characters, showing diversity and marginalised communities does bring audiences and value (as we ourselves know) and it’s purely the skewed bigotry which overtakes the reception and influences the production of media.

Additionally, when bi Buck went canon, the sheer disbelief of queer audiences that it happened at all, to me showed the standards that we’re used to. We’re so used to not having that, that when it does happen, we’re actively surprised by it. Obviously, 9-1-1 in particular has showcased many queer characters before and continues to do so, however this was different as Buck was a previously established character for six seasons and so to have a sexuality arc for someone later in life was definitely a huge moment for bisexual representation in television.

For Eddie, if Tim is doing this storyline, he is right in the approach he’s taken. I’ve talked before about how they weren’t sure whether it was going to be Buck or Eddie having this queer storyline in Season 7… To me that’s basically confirmation of queer Eddie, right? Well, not necessarily “confirmation” but the fact that he was even considered at all for this storyline solidifies his queer-coding to me and that we aren’t all “delusional” for recognising it. I’ve said before but it makes so much sense for Buck to essentially “go first” by having him realise he’s bi and come out in S7 because it was a very different way of doing it, as you would have with Eddie. Buck is very sure of himself as a person and for him it’s something that was always there, but he never realised it and he’s quick to accept it! There’s no tortured Buck struggling with his sexuality (unless of course you count the basketball scene) it’s relatively smooth in the sense that he’s not having a breakdown over it; it’s just his relationship that’s rocky and provides those hurdles. This was refreshing to see as it can often be an expectation that the queer character in the show is negatively affected by their queerness. However, with Eddie, it wouldn’t make sense for him to have that arc in season 7 itself. Partly because it had 10 episodes which would not do it enough justice, and because Eddie already had a lot to unpack. For instance, his whole season 7 storyline was surrounding his deceased wife which was just the start of his journey. Even many seasons later, he is still grappling with the effects of his grief on him and Christopher. Everything is much deeply rooted in him, as is everything in his backstory.

His whole begins episode and all of the backstory we see of him, is him trying to be someone he’s not/who he thinks he should be. He was trying to be a big brother turned parent for his sisters when his parents wouldn’t. He’s trying to be a good father at nineteen, he’s trying to conform to the hegemonic standard of masculinity by marrying Shannon (pressured by the church as she got pregnant young) he enlists because he’s trying to provide for his family even though he doesn’t realise that it’s actually hurting them instead, he’s trying to keep custody of Chris from his parents who only see Chris as a “do-over” for Eddie. Eddie trying his best and get a job to provide for his son. Him doing anything his can for Chris. Shannon coming back, dating her again for Chris - despite the fact that Shannon wanted a divorce (and then died). Eddie dating Chris’ teacher who he loves but Eddie doesn’t. Again, for Chris. He’s always doing things for other people. His parents, Chris, his partners, but never for himself. We’ve seen him spiral before into his fighting arc; that was something he did for himself in a sense, but it was only because he didn’t know how to properly regulate all the pain and grief he was feeling! He’s a single father trying so hard to be the very best he can for everyone around him, to live up to “what it means to be a man” pushing down any emotionally vulnerability until he inevitably snaps. The church, his catholic guilt! This affects him in numerous ways - religious wiring quite literally effects the ways you think about everything and internalise the things that happen to you. Kim was something he did for himself, but it still tied to everything else and his grief. Because of all this, no wonder you wouldn’t be able to fit his gay awakening into a 10-episode season… Eddie requires more time and thought behind what he’s going to have to face and process by himself. For the first time, he is truly alone with his thoughts and is faced with who he is. Outside of his parents, outside of Chris, Shannon, the army, the church, the 118, he is discovering who he truly is, not what anyone else or any institution expects him to be. And this is why, it’s gonna take a lot out of him and is a much different storyline to the one that Buck went through.

Everyone’s sexuality realisation/coming out is different and I really can’t imagine Eddie going through the arc that Buck went through so I think it was a good decision to go with Buck for Season 7. Eddie has so much more to deconstruct and process in order to accept or even just realise his attraction to men, however that plays into his relationship with Buck. And even more so, his lack of attraction to women.

Honourable mention of “I’m broken. I’m broken and I can’t fix it,” being said in his conversation with Kim which is a heavily queer coded statement, as this is a concept that is frequent in the queer community of thinking you’re broken due to your identity. I’d genuinely be surprised if this is not the direction they’re going as there’s so many moments like this with Eddie across the seasons (cough dating feeling like a performance cough) especially this one, which just stand out and heavily resonate with queer audiences. I’d say if they don’t, it’s a huge missed opportunity and character assassination to be honest. I care so deeply about Eddie and he’s such a complex character, it annoyingly makes me mad when people undermine him or pin him down to one thing as if multiple things can’t be true at the same time. I know he’s a fictional character and in reality, it’s not that deep but when people undermine his queer-coding or deny it, it feels like denying a whole group of people’s experiences akin to his.

So, the “emotional reason” behind the moustache in my mind, would definitely link to the idea that Eddie has clung possibly extra hard to his perceived idea of what masculinity is to him/what it’s expected to be. Yes, the style of moustache is engrained in queer culture, but I think that it’s more so an accessory which he’s using to overcompensate for his queerness, (consciously or not). I’m relating this to one of my favourite queer films, Maurice, as in that movie facial hair, specifically moustaches play a significant role in displaying the characters attitudes towards their queerness without explicitly saying them. Maurice and Clive both go through phases of having a moustache, with Maurice first when he is in a period of reluctance towards his sexuality. He’s the more accepting of the two, so it doesn’t last long. However, as Maurice moves out of this phase and begs Clive to stay with him and be together, Clive transitions into that position and denies Maurice’s claims that they could be happy somewhere together. He clings to the traditional ideals of marriage and heterosexuality, as is the norm in 1910’s England, trying to bring an end to the whole affair. Later, when Clive announces he’s engaged to be wed to a woman, he has a moustache and continues to have this moustache for the rest of the film, showing how he’s never going to accept himself for who he is, and is using this to conceal his emotions. The moustache here, represents hiding your true self and repressing your desires, acting as a “mask”. This to me, is very reminiscent of how Eddie appears with his moustache, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they ended up with the same metaphorical reasoning.

In the first episode (the only episode that’s currently out), we saw that Gerrard approves of his moustache, himself being the typical masculine archetype that Eddie may believe himself to be or believes that he should be. Not that Eddie wants to be like Gerrard; of course not, he’s a bigot. It’s that portrayal of masculinity which ties into how he was brought up, and the ideals of the catholic church surrounding gender roles and sexuality. I thought this direct comparison was interesting between them as Eddie is definitely doing this for approval if not from others, but from himself that “this is who he is” when in reality it’s not. In my interpretation, the fact that they’ve specifically mentioned episode six as when he shaves off the moustache and has this physical manifestation of his inner demons, screams to me a queer arc for Eddie. I think there is so much potential for his character and storyline, not just for the ship he’s involved in but for himself and everyone who sees themselves in Eddie.

In conclusion, I really hope they go down this route and if they don’t, once again, it will be a huge, missed opportunity and I wouldn’t be certain where they’d go with his character if not there. This was just a chance for me to get my thoughts out, ahead of the upcoming episodes and I really hope we get to see a positive outcome for his character, whatever route they take.

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: EP10 Ray's Therapy Scene (First Focus)

I've been meaning to do a deep dive on this scene, which has no doubt been immensely commended for Khaotung's stellar performance (I'm running out of vocabulary to gush about how talented that boy is). However the purpose of this post is to highlight how equally superb First is, as I fear some may overlook the excellent work he does here.

The reason why this scene warrants a huge amount of respect is how challenging this dynamic is on both actors. Only Ray is speaking the entire way through, which means the tone and rhythm of the scene is led by Khaotung, whilst First's role here as Sand is to be reactive to this immense outpouring and release of emotion. First is required to be a very restrained and contemplative presence - a projection and visual representation of Sand in Ray's own mind. It's literally acting on a macro (Khaotung) and micro (First) level in tandem.

I want to start by mentioning how well First portrays this bedded-in weariness in Sand’s demeanor throughout, an expression we’ve seen in Episode 8. It carries this heartbreakingly heavy and worn down quality. A symptom of a man who bears far too much weight on his shoulders, whose mental toil never seems to end; a product of his own nature and those who knowingly or unknowingly take advantage of it. This is the tragedy of Sand's character. And this is the realisation that is well and truly hitting Ray now. His temper and behaviour have inevitably taken its toll on someone Ray knows doesn't deserve all the suffering he's been putting him through.

⬆️ "I was stupid, but I want you to understand me. I was mad at you because I cared so much about you."

When Ray starts asking for forgiveness, there's an air of slightly deflated scepticism that flits across Sand's face. Sand's immediate instinct is to be hopeful, to give someone the benefit of the doubt. But the reality is Ray has apologised a number of times before and that hasn’t stopped him from hurting Sand still. So Sand’s expression sobers, conscious of how likely it is that Ray will let him down again.

This is Ray acknowledging that he's fallen into a pattern of taking Sand for granted. If that’s all Sand has come to expect, why would his apology this time change anything? Ray has not earnt his redemption yet as he hasn't apologised to Sand in person, and has no guarantee it would be accepted. Which is why he's so upset because he registers that Sand's disappointment in him is fully deserved.

⬆️ "There's no one more caring or loving than you. Though I've been nothing but an asshole to you."

You see the tiniest lift of Sand's brow that's tinged with grateful disbelief, 'Me? But I'm nothing special'. His gaze softens by the sentiment, a visible breath inhaled in as if taken aback, clearly touched but hesitant to believe it. A humbling trait of Sand's is that he genuinely struggles to see his own value. He doesn't realise just how meaningful he can be to someone. That he could hold such weight.

And all the criticism that Ray has thrown at Sand has only piled onto the insecurities he possesses. Remarks that have questioned Sand's principles, his dignity, his sense of worth.

⬆️ "But if you don't want to put up with me anymore, that's alright. I get you."

Ray's image of Sand watches on as he begins to fall apart, crushed by a mixture of intense fear, regret, and despair that this may be too little too late. That his last outburst may well have been the final straw, and he failed to appreciate Sand when it mattered.

On the surface Sand may look numb or somewhat devoid of emotion, but you can detect the turbulence brewing underneath. Sand has a habit of holding in his feelings in to an almost painful degree (which begs for release). It gives you the impression he could suddenly burst at the seams at any given moment. But Sand as always holds still, holds strong, holds steady. Other than the slight twitch of his lip, he holds himself together somehow.

⬆️ "No one can put up with me".

Ray vocalises his own self-hatred, how little he deserves someone like Sand, how guilty he feels for causing this damage. Whilst he does so, Sand appears increasingly teary, lip ever so slightly quivering, brows crumpling. He looks like he desperately wants to break down and cry along with Ray.

What sets Sand apart from everyone else in Ray’s life is he understands. He can sympathise with why Ray is the way he is. Despite everything Ray has done, Sand still very much wants to protect him, shield him, care for him. He doesn't blame him. It breaks his heart to see Ray upset, to see Ray hurting. His compassion for Ray has always been his undoing.

The last thing he would want is for Ray to feel unwanted or intolerable. He tries to be the person who can withstand Ray's temper, his volatile nature, because he knows Ray is still deserving of love. It’s because of this love that he can feel every single thing that Ray is going through.

Sand exudes an incredibly strong parental presence in this scene; a form of unconditional love and patience. As we're often told by our parents, they're not angry at us when we veer off path, just disappointed and perhaps saddened on our behalf - but that won't stop them from loving us all the same. This is beautifully captured by First. You can detect Sand's selfless love for Ray in his every gaze, always.

⬆️ "Ever since you walked into my life, I've been so happy. So damn happy Sand."

This is where Sand almost breaks down as he displays a small, tentative smile that is laced with pained and tired relief. His eyes close in an attempt to maintain composure. Whilst there’s overwhelm, there’s also finally a glimmer of peace.

This is what Ray knows Sand needs to hear, what Ray wishes he'd said sooner. Ray picturing himself saying this to Sand may be a form of vindication in the event he doesn't get say this to him in-person.

Finally Ray collapses into Sand's arms. Sand seems to visibly reign in his own emotions, in order to revert back to 'care-taker' mode. Sand nods once, a gesture of kindness and true acceptance that says 'It's all okay, I know.'

He's Ray's pillar, his rock, and his raft. Sand has become Ray's primary source of safety and comfort. Sand's gaze is so endlessly gentle as he nestles in close to hold Ray. Everything about his embrace feels warm and stable in such a reassuring way. Sand is every bit as loving and caring as Ray just described him to be.

What makes this entire portrayal so devastating is this is the Sand Ray sees and knows. Ray mentions in Episode 11 that he’s been stowing away these details. Which indicates that everything Sand has done and said has not gone unnoticed. Whether it was due to denial or ignorance that prevented Ray from confronting it sooner, he has unconsciously taken note of it all. How Ray's image of Sand responds in this scene is based on every interaction he's had with Sand up until now. This imaginary representation of Sand is proof of everything that Ray has come to fall in love with.

First was not given any dialogue in which to communicate in this scene. His entire performance relies solely on the tiniest of micro-expressions and gestures. He symbolises the essence of Sand but not the physical manifestation of him. Therefore his acting may come across as understated but that’s a sign of real talent when you can say so much with so little.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

@dogsnoptics requested Imprisoning War (Power) Link and his kids, so have Link and his little firstborn toddler cutie pie baby girl <3

Link found solace in looking after his daughter.

He hadn’t expected to, honestly. It had taken him so long to convince himself to even look at her when she was a baby. He’d been convinced he might hate her initially, and the idea of seeing the physical representation of a union that neither party wanted… it felt too real. Somehow, Zelda had managed to do it, though. He supposed that was mainly because she didn’t really have an option not to. But she’d been handling the baby on her own, with nannies’ help, and he’d done nothing to assist for six months.

He felt a little ashamed about it now, honestly, but there was no changing the past. The little girl was a ray of sunshine, and he loved watching her run about in the royal gardens. Her favorite pastime, in return, was to point everything out to him and make sure he saw it.

Lately, Sonia had been playing a new game. She would grab all kinds of items and identify them – if she didn’t know what something was, she would find the nanny and ask her. Link wasn’t really able to help in that regard as he hadn’t spoken a single word since a few weeks after the girl’s birth.

Today, though, the nanny wasn’t around – many times when Link came to be with his daughter, he would be left in solitude, which he appreciated. Sonia was still playing her game, grabbing an item, running up to Link, and showing him what it was. He nodded and smiled every time, giving her a kiss if she’d sit still long enough for one. The toddler giggled every time, running back into the garden to find something else. But today, she seemed more insistent about things, bringing him a ball three times, and grabbing another ball and differentiating the color.

“Blue ball!” she said, showing him. Then she put it down and brought up another one. “Green ball!”

Link nodded again, looking between the two, wondering what his silly girl was getting at.

Sonia stared back at him, trying to communicate something, and she sighed, sitting on the ground of in front of him. She held the blue one up again. “Ball.”

She pointed it to it. “Ball.”

Did she want another one? Link looked around to find a matching blue ball, but there was none.

“Ball, Dada.”

Link looked back at his daughter, handing her the green one. She held it, looking at it curiously, but there was a clear frustration in her face. She sighed again, running towards the fountain. Link watched her a little confusedly, wondering what that had been about.

The next day, Sonia’s game was less pronounced. She still raced around the garden, but she barely showed him anything with her excited announcements. He wondered if maybe she just wasn’t in the mood that day, but the next day she spoke even less. By the end of the week, the nanny commented that she wasn’t talking at all.

Link bit his lip as he watched her take a nap. Why had she stopped speaking? What was wrong? He wondered if it had to do with the trip they’d just gotten home from – Zelda had wanted to tour the kingdom, but, knowing the people would want to see the entire royal family, she had dragged Link and Sonia along. Link had not been keen on the idea in the slightest, and had spent nearly the entirety of the trip silently carrying Sonia from one place to the next. He supposed there were some genuinely good things that had come out of it, though – he himself hadn’t been outside the castle perimeter since Impa had taken him to Kakariko a year ago, and aside from that, he hadn’t seen how Hyrule had been recovering at all since the war’s end. It had been… reassuring to witness it. At least he knew his sacrifice was doing something.

The other good thing, he supposed, was that Zelda got to spend far more time with her daughter than she usually did.

Link didn’t have much interest in being anywhere near Zelda, but it was only fair for Sonia to have quality time with her mother. That was rarely the case when they were in the palace – Zelda’s duties kept her busy from sun up to sun down. She found moments as best she could to spend time with Sonia, but Link knew it was few and far between; he himself spent a good portion of the day with his daughter and he never saw Zelda. He and the queen saw more of each other on their tour of Hyrule than they ever had since their wedding

Sonia stirred, and he gently ran his hand over her forehead. She didn’t feel warm, so it wasn’t likely a fever. When she opened her eyes, she reached up to him, and he gently pulled her into his arms, rocking back and forth. His daughter pointed excitedly towards the window and the gardens, giggling. Her energy certainly didn’t imply that anything was wrong. So why was she as mute as Link all of a sudden?

As… as mute as…

Oh.

Oh.

This was… this was his fault, wasn’t it? While Link never spoke, Sonia did usually spend time with nannies, who constantly indulged the girl’s babbling and taught her new words. On their tour of Hyrule, the girl’s time had exclusively been with her father.

He remembered Impa’s gentle push, her advice that children need to hear and see new words to learn them. He remembered smiling a little at the comment, thinking that was what the nannies were for.

Damn it.

It wasn’t like Link couldn’t speak. He knew he could. He used to. But ever since… well. For a while he was incapable of it. Too exhausted, too out of words in the first place. Since then, he’d gotten better, but there was honestly no reason to speak. The only people he spent time around were knights who knew that he just wanted to spar, Impa, who had long since learned his cues and didn’t need him to speak to understand, and his daughter, who didn’t used to care that he was silent. His duties didn’t extend far beyond that – he was more symbolic for the kingdom than anything else. It was the queen whose words held power to them, whose words were necessary. Link was a shadow in the castle. So he saw no reason to speak anymore.

Link bit his tongue, uncertain. It had been so long…

He sighed, taking Sonia outside. When he put her on the ground, the two-year-old excitedly took off after a butterfly. He made his way over to a wooden crate in the corner where many of her outdoor toys were stored. He pulled out her favorite one.

It didn’t take long for Sonia to notice, and she watched him curiously, waddling over. Link sat on the ground to be at eye level with her, holding out the item. He took a deep breath. “Ball.”

His voice cracked. It cracked. Goddess. He felt like he was trying to resurrect himself. But Sonia’s entire face lit up, and she grabbed the ball, bouncing up and down and screaming its name over and over and over, alongside his own. “Dada! Ball! Dada, ball! Ball!!”

Link’s laughter rang through the gardens, something he hadn’t heard in years, and the two giggled themselves breathless.

[ophernelia]

sorry if this question is stupid but are we not supposed to play with light skinned sims? im dark skinned and i have dark skinned ones i play with but i have been playing with the lighter ones lately. playing with them means i hate myself? is that the standard now

Honestly, there’s questions I don’t feel like I can answer. I’m black, fully black but I’m lightskin. There’s nuance and knowledge that comes with the lived experience of being a darker skinned person that I’m not privy to at all. It’s not my place to speak on that. What I can say is- that anon was just being an ass. The statement was like factually incorrect. There is no new standard. I will have to let my dark skinned counterparts discuss what they feel is right amongst themselves. Meanwhile, I’ll have to just shut up and listen on the sidelines. However, I am in full support of black creators being left the fuck alone and them being allowed to play and post their games in peace. There are creator’s with pages that look like the north side of Chicago when the cubs play. Go pester at them for not being inclusive at all.

I’ve had a similar experience before. I have a lot of lightskinned sims. Imogen’s family is huge and every one of those bobble heads are just variations of their bobble headed overlord, ME! However, I’ve got a lot of other sims I play with too. Usually when I make a new one, I make them darker skinned to balance things out. Cut down on that Brice family reign. I had JUST posted Savannah and got a “why are all your sims light skinned” comment. Completely overlooked my girl. Overlooked the rest of the darker skinned sims in the series like they literally always do. When I get distasteful comments it’s usually about one of them OR usually about a feature on a sims face that makes them unambiguously black. The shit is grody. I don’t wanna hear about the push for representation when the reaction to it is always less than savory and most times hurtful. It’s not even the sims themselves, but the creators too. Majority of the creators I follow only post dark skinned sims. They make fantastic content. And not to be arrogant, but I KNOW I have reach. So when I reblog their posts, I’m expecting to see that engagement grow. If people like the quality of the content I post, I know they’ll like theirs. It’s usually similar. However, nothing. They don’t get as much traction. And if they do, the main people I see interacting with the posts are primarily the other people who post darker skinned sims!! Like girl! Enjoy your game! Hell! That’s all I can say because whew!

[crazysodomite]

finally gonna answer that asks thingg. long post

3. your favorite piece(s)?

i really, truly fell off since making these 😭😭😭😭 im honestly not even confident i could create something of this quality ever again #felloff

these older portraits also just go to show how much i fell off. lol 😭😭

i like some of my newer art but its nothing to really write home about. my art has become more self-indulgent compared to squeezing the most 'skill' and 'detalization' out of each piece. i think in the end the process makes me happier (?) but i don't the same pride as looking at some of my older art. to be fair i also spend far less time on art compared to spending like 20 hours straight or days on a piece. frankly im not even sure i could replicate my old pipeline anymore and replicate my skill <- because i fell off!

i cope with the fact i fell off by saying 'im just exploring my own unique artistic vision' <- words from a guy who is simply not that good anymore

4. piece you wish got more love?

idkkk i dont really pay attention to numbers. i only really care/look at comments. i want more taur fans to follow me and talk me about taurs.

7. easiest thing for you to draw?

furries and creatures

8. thing you struggle to draw?

human faces.... this is sad because humans can be so diverse and interesting to draw but personally every time i draw a human it just looks incredibly ugly and bad (unless heavily stylized and simplified) and i just don't enjoy it as much as furries animals creatures monsters etc.

11. do you listen to anything while drawing?

yes... for my own detriment. especially when i dissociate i just turn on something in the background to 'help me focus' but idk if it actually helps me focus or just makes the dissociation more comfortable

13. talk about a wip you like!

i cant show you but it's a piece with lace and hornet (hollow knight)... i think i actually have a lot of wips with angels actually but i dont wanaaa show anybody

14. whats your favorite thing about drawing?

i dont know. gets scared. i enjoy feling proud and enjoying the final product. recently i also enjoy just drawing bodies and forms and volume. the process of 'god this looks like dogshit' going to 'i actually like this :)' or 'i love this and im proud of this' (if im lucky) is very enjoyable.

17. what is something youre confident about in your art?

i dont knowwwwwwww.... im gonna say im confident about something and someones gonna just tell me that im actually really bad at it. i think maybe volume and 'ambient occlusion' !?

21. what do you think your artstyle would taste like? I dont knowww.... from what people say it would be gummies or candies. but tbh that's just my more 'cutesy' art. i contain multitudes. some of my art probably tastes like dirt from the ground at a factory.

22. do you have a favorite color palette to work with?

i pretty much use these colors (for some reason i rarely use green or yellow. the circled colors are especially common. looking at my art it's a lot of purple, pink, blue, red, some oranges. idk why i gravitate to purple so much. i guess i just like red and blue a lot and ourple is a nice middle ground

(and this doesnt mean i dont like green or yellow my immediate reaction to drawing a creature is just making it these colors. for some reason)

24. whats a compliment about your art that has always stuck with you?

I always feel guilty that i dont like. save peoples comments to a folder so i can remember them better (maybe i should do this). i have a bad memory so i can hardly recall what people say word-for-word. I think I'm very humbled and happy when people say that my art has been meaningful to them in some way or helped them or even just made them happy or more willing to explore things about themselves. I also enjoy the 'i look like this and this made me happy' on my art ❤. that's definitely a part of why i enjoy drawing bodies so much. seeing a comment like 'this made me cry because i've never seen a body like mine represented before in a positive way' is really sad honestly and i wish the world wasn't so unfair and cruel man.

25. what size canvas/paper do you use?

i usually use a preset in photoshop for A4 or A3 paper. so about 2000-5000px range

30. whats something youre proud of about your artstyle?

i dont knowwwwwwwww... i think recently i like the way i paint bodies and i've been enjoying the orb heads as a stylistic choice even if some may think its ugly and boring. i also enjoy stylizing body hair. i also also want to adopt a more elaborate brushwork style but idont really know how to do thatttt

34. whats something you still like from your old art?

im just gonna talk about my olllld baby art. i love how innocent and cute and sweet it is. like you can really see my soul was not corrupted by evil yet. sighs

[friedfriedchicken]

Looking back on TFOne and the toys that came out before the film, there's something interesting there about the Iacon 5000 to me. Spoilers under the cut

So what I've noticed is that there was a notable absence of Mirage in TFOne despite him appearing in the Iacon 5000 three-pack alongside D-16 and Orion.

Like- he was advertised in a toy commercial I saw months before TFOne went to theaters but he never actually got a highlight in the Iacon 5000. His name was on the leaderboard at one point but I've seen this film twice and didn't see him in crowd shots. At least not with this design.

But who WAS in the Iacon 5000 with a large focus and is also a blue-colored Transformer? Chromia! (Image sourced from trading cards on Weibo)

But the interesting part, to me at least, is her head design. There's nothing stereotypically 'Chromia' about her. The thing is, she looks more like a G1-styled Mirage than the usual Chromia head design. And again, having watched TFOne twice, I was looking in crowdshots for any familiar faces and this one miner who showed up during Orion Pax's speech towards the end of the film always stuck out to me. This 'Not-Chromia' had a more familiar look to her than Chromia did and she reminded me of Moonracer, specifically the one from the Netflix Transformers series who was a green-ish repaint of Chromia's model.

My pictures of TFOne are dulled out because of the camera quality- I promise they're brighter and easier to see than what I have here So what am I getting at? I think that Mirage was originally planned to be in this movie but was swapped out for Chromia after production had already started. Why is this important enough to write a whole post about it? Because I think it's just neat but also I noticed that IGN's review of TFOne complained about a lack of female representation. Maybe Mirage was changed to Chromia so that TFOne has more girl characters? Maybe I'm overlooking things because IGN's take made me really mad but TFOne has been an absolute treat to bite into and I hope more people also write essays and stuff like this.

[faerghusfucker]

Hey how are you doing. If you don't mind repeating old ask memes then I'd like to 1, 2, 3, 7, 8 and 23 for Claude. Specifically Houses Claude not his fake counterpart Fraude from Hopes.

im doing alright! feeling significantly better now that i'm getting my shit together with school and also finally starting a project ive wanted to do for a long time. i love to repeat old ask games lets gooooo

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

claude has a special place in my heart bc verdant wind was the first route i played in 3H and. i wont lie to you, i exclusively chose the golden deer for my first run bc i thought claude was hot. and i was right he is hot. frankly in my mind golden wildfire is fake and never happened. as far as im concerned there is just not a golden deer route in hopes :3

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

his ARABNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive been a jrpg fan since i was like 12-13ish and i got 3H as a gift for my 15th birthday. i had pretty much accepted the reality of not seeing anyone who looked like me (im egyptian) in the media that i like, and then claude graced my screen in the intro cutscene and i was like omg!!!! melanin!!!! and before i knew he was almyran i had already Claimed Him as arab bc i was like. i need something. AND THEN I LEARNED HE WAS ALMYRAN AND HIS NAME IS KHALID!!!!!!!!!!! i was like. i didnt know this could happen. wow. my mind was blown. regardless of the quality of the rest of the arab representation in this game (it's bad) im rlly happy to have claude just in general lol

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

keep in mind i havent played verdant wind in like 3 years so the nuances of his specific actions are a liiiiiittle murky. anyway this is so unserious but i cant get over the way he DEMANDED to see jeralt's diary after he died. and like RIGHT after he died lmao. byleth is crying in his office and this little shit just pulls up like "hey. whats that book. gimme that book. lemme read the book." IN A MINUTE CLAUDE MY DAD IS DEAD DAMN!!!!!! i dont even hold it against him i just cant rlly think of anything else lol sorry this isnt super nuanced

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

DRAW HIM WITH ETHNIC FEATURES!!!!!! this game suffers from severe same face syndrome and it especially shows when the poc just have the white facial structure and darker skin. i love seeing claude with curly hair and thick eyebrows and a roman nose i live for it!!!!!

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

whitewash him,,, this doesnt happen as often anymore in the circles i run in but an angel loses its wings every time claude is drawn pale. even IS is guilty of this (are we rlly surprised tho)

23. Favorite picture of this character?

sorry to acknowledge fraude's existence but a) i rlly like his design in hopes. purple is the perfect accent color for him and i rlly like how he looks without that nasty chinstrap. and b) im rlly amused by the fact that this support chain got???? art???? does this happen at literally any other point in this game lol i was so confused. this made me want art of other supports too. gimme felix carrying dimitri to bed. gimme rodrigue apologizing to felix. i seem to be wanting a lot of images of felix. anyway yeah i like this art lol

[horizon-verizon]

"They do not portray Rhaenyra as she is, her clothing is a CRITICAL element that defines her esp when it comes to the subtle "commentary" about a woman's autonomy" Costumes add so much to the overall tone and quality of a show. Fashion is a medium of communication too. In a world like HOTD, where everything from marriage alliances to war declarations plays out as a political move, what the characters wear matters. I also think the show really dropped the ball when it came to Rhaenyra’s costumes. Rhaenyra is living in a male-dominated world where women are expected to behave a certain way, where they’re judged basically every breath they take. She defies all of that, in all her glamorous self, wielding her femininity as armor/sword in a world dominated by men. That is hot! She’s supposed to be this larger-than-life figure, someone who should own the screen the moment she walks in. Where was the wow factor? Where were the bold, in-your-face looks that screamed, “I’m the heir to the Iron Throne/I'm the queen”? It’s not just about looking good; it’s about what the costumes mean. The show could’ve used her costumes to highlight her defiance and individuality, but instead, they decided to "humble" her. This is especially frustrating because we’ve seen other shows and movies do this so well. In the Queen’s Gambit, Beth Harmon steps into a male-dominated chess world where people emphasize that she's a woman more over anything else, yet she never rejects her femininity to be taken seriously. The evolution of her style is a visual representation of her journey while asserting her place in a field that often underestimates women. Rhaenyra’s narrative is deeply rooted in her struggle against societal expectations and the constant challenges to her claim as heir. The black dress moment could have been one of the most powerful visual declarations for Rhaenyra, a satisfying payoff of seeing her fully step into her power on her own terms. For her to don the black dress is symbolic of her house, her lineage, and her defiance. But nooooo the show decided to give it to that moment to Alicent, and it was so sooooo underwhelming! It doesn’t carry the visual weight or iconic presence one would expect from such a pivotal moment. Just another outfit, easily forgettable and far from special that it just happens to be green. The green dress of Keira Knightley has its own legacy. That dress lives forever rent-free in my head HOTD is a fantasy show, so Rhaenyra should feel like a power fantasy.

Anon is quoting and responding to this post.

Rhaenyra is living in a male-dominated world where women are expected to behave a certain way, where they’re judged basically every breath they take. She defies all of that, in all her glamorous self, wielding her femininity as armor/sword in a world dominated by men. The show could’ve used her costumes to highlight her defiance and individuality, but instead, they decided to "humble" her.

THANK YOU, anon, this is all what I have been saying AND why HotD's costuming is inherently offensive in regards to Rhaenyra--who as a character who is meant to highlight women in Westeros/a highly patriarchal society, who through her clothing is re-emphasizing her "femininity" in defiance of the socialized feminine-is-weakness conceit--is then easily offensive to women or those who claim/are assigned "femininity"-as-concieved in any way.

When it is the other royal/high noble characters, it's "disrespectful" to the lore AND audiences bc it's very obviously them phoning it in (execs, producers, what have you who are responsible). Back to Rhaenyra, it's disrespectful bec you are denying/suppressing the realities & lived experience of social denial of one's worth. Something pretty common for women AND queer people.

It’s not just about looking good; it’s about what the costumes mean.

Like I said, costumes are vehicles of storytelling as well; you can never just judge costumes as garments alone. And I suspect that arguement of "it's ridiculous to make as if x's clothes/hair was disrespectful bc everyone's clothes were just as bad" is just a way to cope with how bad & negligent the costumes/teams at HotD have been since forever and the feeling of being perpetually unsatisfied and even kinda jilted from a true experience of what "could" have been. To force some positivity & enjoy HotD. To me, it's become a lie, delulu--to be "harsh". After all, like I said, it's not GOOD nor FIXES anything that MOST OR ALL the costumes were not at the level of quality they should be for certain characters. "It's all shit, so don't bother pointing out or thinking about why it's shit"...what does that solve?

The black dress moment could have been one of the most powerful visual declarations for Rhaenyra, a satisfying payoff of seeing her fully step into her power on her own terms. For her to don the black dress is symbolic of her house, her lineage, and her defiance. But nooooo the show decided to give it to that moment to Alicent, and it was so sooooo underwhelming!

I wrote a post explaining this HERE about the green vs black dress. I also wrote about on Twitter how Alicent's green dress moment inherently did not make sense for the THEMES of this story nor even her character/characterization alone (was flamed by multiple Alicent sympatizers, stans, or just HotD fans).

Summarizing, show!Alicent didn't have any true reason to feel defiant against RHAENYRA bc Rhaenyra did nothing morally wrong or dangerous to her; whereas book!Rhaenyra had to face a stepmother who was trying to actively destroy her public image (unprovoked from Alicent) so she could push her own son towards the from the time Rhaenyra was 10. Show!Alicent, unlike Bk!Rhaenyra, is trying to defy the person who is not creating the REAL larger issues Alicent has or that has victimized her. And I am talking about Rhaenyra, not Viserys, bc that scene was primarily about RHAENYRA, not Viserys!

Show!Alicent is upset that Rhaenyra didn't tell her about Daemon...for Alicent to just seconds before try to pressure her using her queenly authority and not as a peer/freind AND then immediately tell Viserys what Rhaenyra said...and she acts shocked and appalled when she finds out Rhaenyra lied & slept with the guy she wanted. Even if it was about her kids, she has nothing but the word of her father to assume that Rhaenyra would even listen to people around her and kill her own siblings...when kin-slaying is severly taboo! The worst part is that Alicent is supposedly Rhaenyra's best friend, the one she told her secrets & Rhaenyra vice versa before the marriage to Viserys, so you'd think she'd at least have a conversation about such things...but no, we see her double down on authority, not communication.

She essentially freaked out over nothing bc she didn't assess a situation well when she absolutely had the ability to do so but didn't bc she was more concerned with authority & obedience: getting Rhaenyra to obey her/"respect" her authority AND "obey" & "suffer" like a "proper" woman AND comply with the abusive mores of patriarcal surveillance of women's bodies, and we're were supposed to sit there and congratulate her for it. To be "harsh". While she definitely was trying to use what power & authority she felt she had left to her in lieu of sexual subordination to Viserys and Otto/the abuses to her body, it is also true that she does genuinely expect Rhaenyra's total compliance to something like that sexual subordination on socioreligious principles that would really ruin Rhaenyra's very personality/being, dignity, AND her future maneuvering as the heir. Being the first female heir calls for more maneuvering than the straight, sincere compliance Alicent is demanding of her. It is not a good thing to become as complacent as Alicent is being/has been, even with it coming from a place of brainwashing or mental exhaustion or trauma....were not supposed to encourage women genuinely and wholly complying themselves for a patriarchy!

Other than that, in the book Alicent would have known exactly why bk!Rhaenyra decided to wear black-red to her anniversary tourney bc she was intentional with her attempts to lessen Rhaenyra's standing in court. In the show, how does one expect Rhaenyra to understand why exactly Alicent is mad enough to turn against her, plot for her to lose her position & suspects her of murdering her kids bc she lied once (yes, even on one's mother, bc how does this show Rhaenyra is willing to MURDER CHILDREN?!) about something that doesn't really matter and we/she never seemed to find out that Cole told Alicent he slept with Rhaenyra? The show didn't show it either in episodes 5 or 6.

Even after that episode, we do not see Alicent actually plan or build concepts of plans with the Hightowers like how the scene indicated after she went to greet her uncle at the betrothal feast...so what new persona or faction was she really buillding?

So deathly afraid of posing their assigned "co"female protagonist and making her "unlikeable" that they even totally misrepresent her AS WELL AS confuse the ethical structure of the original story/make her seem a victim of an actual victim when she and always been an abuser! Inherently, this is dangerous. It's posing the defiance of a woman against abuse or some element of the (patriarchal) status quo as innately "dangerous", bc Alicent never once as been a figure trying to question said status quo seriously or sympathesize with those who do or can't conform.

Thus the scene was underwhelming. Unless you simply are not thinking, you reject the original story's themes/characters w/o thinking why they are written that way, or you already align yourself/are loyal with the staus quo of womanhood & sexuality (trad wives, internalized misoynists, & dudebros). It simply didn't and will never make any sense.

THIS is merely one--but often repeated in different "fonts"--reason how this show really isn't writing towards misogyny even though it's obvious Rhaenyra's issues stem much from her society's devaluing her gender.

[spideykuri]

TASM!Peter Parker Analysis

I wrote this about a few years ago on August 10th, it's as much research as I did at the time complied into one little post.

Thank you. Please enjoy. (^_−)−☆

Peter Parker. Specifically, Andrew’s Peter. He is the most comic accurate representation we have seen for Spiderman ever. Peter puts on the mask when he has to and because he wants to. No matter how much he’s lost, no matter how hard things get.

Personality;

This rendition of Peter Parker is confident in who he is, as much as at school he seems like he’s a bit shy, except for the fact of when he stood up to Flash like no one else would. People only disliked him because he was a “nerd”. He’s a perfect dream boy, except with added on qualities such as: [x] Goofy [x] Incredibly cute [x] Has common sense

Okay. But in a serious sense, he's portrayed as more of an outcast than a nerd, which, he was both. He just wasn't into normal highschool activities like basketball and shit like that. His hobby was photography, which is why he was more outcasted. Didn't mean he didn't want to do dangerous shit anyway. He related to our generation because that was our modern day. Perfect example.

Onto the Spiderman analysis of this note.

Spiderman, Andrew’s Spiderman? Chef kiss. We can all agree We can all agree. “Spider-Man is a revenge seeker.” That’s the most stupidest reason to not like him. If you kept watching the first movie, White Girl’s father points out that Spider-Man isn’t a hero and is hunting all men that look the same. You can see on Peter’s face at that dinner table, it was realization that “Shit, he’s actually right.” He’s smart enough to know how to actually be a hero that he wants to be.

- Power Section

Tell me this man is not the strongest Spiderman you have ever fucking seen. Tore off the Lizard’s tail with sheer strength. Handled over 1000 volts of electricity flowing through his body to be able to beat Electro. Those are all just some examples from the movie. We all know what he can really do. [x] He can sense everything and anything around him all at once, with his intellect, he’s practically invincible if used correctly. [x] With a strength rank of 4/5, he can lift almost 10 tons with one arm.

[x] Let’s go with 170 lbs as the body weight standard. If you’re hitting an opponent with that means it’s an equivalent of 125,000 pounds of force in one fucking punch. That can kill someone.

I unfortunately have to cut this short, but anything we’ve seen shys completely away from his true strength.

[user-kanra]

Penacony as a Theme Park

I just finished watching Jenny Nicholson's video on the Star Wars Hotel (Galactic Starcruiser, if we're being fancy) and the last section put into words a lot of concerns I've had about the current state of theme parks and the entertainment industry in general. It's a very worthwhile watch, and it's honestly got me thinking about Penacony, so I'm going to ramble for a bit.

I don't know if I'm off-base thinking this, but I've always perceived the Golden Hour to be very theme park-esque. If memory serves, it's where we first meet Clockie, who's voice actor did what I consider an amazing Mickey Mouse impression. It's design is very much giving theme park trying to look like a city (main street in magic kingdom, I'm even reminded of Hollywood Studios just a tad), and the statue of Clockie reminds me of Walt with Mickey in Magic Kingdom.

Also, that little bit of Robin POV felt like a character actor moving around the parks LMAO

(Spoilers under the cut)

I'm going to make a bit of a leap here and call Mikhail/Misha Walt Disney. I promise, I love that kid, I only want to use Walt as an example.

Misha, as the remnants of the Watchmaker, played a heavy role in designing the dreamscape. From what I can tell, the dreamscape was only ever really intended to be an attraction, a place of entertainment you're not meant to live in.

So Misha built the dreamscape. Mikhail is dead, Misha didn't even know he was Mikhail, so all we have left are people acting in the Watchmaker's name. This, to me, resembles Disney in the aftermath of Walt's death. EPCOT was named not for what it stood for, but because it was the name of one of Walt's projects that never got to see its creation.

I think Penacony is actually a great representation of what's going wrong with entertainment right now. Sunday's anger make sense in the context of the unequal, poor treatment a lot of guests get nowadays. This place should be magic for everyone. It should be everyone's most memorable moment. But for one reason or another that's not happening. (Why do people barf in the dreamscape? Evil trash cans and performers? I'd also be pissed if I was promised a luxury experience and got that instead).

But part of what was so important was that Misha's story ended in that chair. He can rest now. Penacony is no longer tied to the Watchmaker.

That's, you know, both good and bad. It leaves room for greed and bastardizing what the dreamscape was supposed to be. If you know anything about the current state of theme parks, you know that the quality's gone down and the prices have gone up. Jenny Nicholson said it the best when she said that Disney is looking for a way to charge the most and do the least. They're "cashing in on the good will they've built," they can get away with this stuff.

But it's also important. Walt wasn't always right (actually, he was usually wrong), and staying in the past (or a dream) is never a good idea in the first place. At some point, you have to face the core of the problem. For Disney, it's that capitalistic greed is the entirety of their current business model. For Penacony, it's that everyone being equal in a dream isn't the same as everyone being equal in real life. You need to look critically at Disney, just as the dreamscape shouldn't be your entire life.

Of course, there's more important lenses to look at Penacony with, but theme parks strike a special cord with me, so I thought I'd try to reason it out here. Hope this made sense!

[davekat-sucks]

homestuck's fanbase is really making me feel like giving up on the story as a whole... Jesus, I might just call it quits soon. Listening to idiots try to defend how shit Homestuck's story became is too exhausting. It reminds me of when I was listening to lectures of, people who hardly counted as, writers go off about how important it is to prioritize representation over all else. They never realized if you do a terrible job with writing a story, you do a terrible job of representing women, different racial groups, gay men, ext. They don't want to write female characters like they're people who make mistakes and grow. Those authors wanted women to always be perfect and always in the right and her biggest obstacle is that men don't believe in her. You can see that in Star Wars with Rei or Captain Marvel as an example of the mindset I'm talking about.

I liked homestuck because so many of the female characters had challenges and flaws. Aradia, Terezi, Rose... They had amazing stories and their flaws made them interesting.

Homestuck could have been a story about different people who have completely different mindsets coming together for a common goal. Homestuck is just... soap opera drama and shitty teen romance at the end of the story where the characters just wait for the story to finish and most of the audience left. In the epilogue, it feels like all of the characters gave up. I suppose Kanaya did put in effort to find Rose and make sure she is safe, I'll give the story credit there. Dirk wants something too. Dirk's goal is just to close the loop and create the first universe in the first place but all you ever hear people talking about is how his motivations have something to do with the shitty meta fiction gimmick the story has going on. "Gotta keep the story going or else the characters fade out of memory" That is such bullshit concept. Sounds like a justification for why there are so many Star Wars shows now. Sounds like milking an IP. Quantity of quality kind of excuse.

And, for the record, my beef isn't with how the fandom represents it's own headcanons or interpretations of the characters, my beef is with how people talk about the canon. Fandom and canon should be two different things. But people act like the fandom should influence canon. I thought the point of both of the cherubs were to show that is a bad idea. Fanon being in canon feels like it derails the story, even the homosuck part that Caliborn came up with.

I'm getting tired of trying to even find a space in this fandom. It's occupying too much of my freetime now. I have so much nostalgia for homestuck but now it feels like trying to get back on the swings of a playground, too old for this shit. Fuck, I adulted too hard and I outgrew fandom I guess. Shit sucks.

Ah well, at least they fans are having fun. But how much fun can you really have when Rose screwed over Kanaya in two timelines? Kanaya felt like a better character in the epilouge cause she's given a challenge to face that is unique to her and her relationship with her wife. Rose's dad brainwashed(?) her to leave her wife, wow, Kanaya that's some shit. Just sucks that she is getting cucked AGAIN. Is it a universal constant that Kanaya is just going to keep falling for women who don't respect her? Maybe she should have stuck with Vriska. All of this Kanaya Rose drama is a bad sign of what's to come. I think it's disrespectful to the fans that are still sticking around. I'm not really included in this bunch. My horse tapped out of the race years ago. People who are still holding out for hope this story is going somewhere are either the most optimistic people out there or the most beaten down.

It's no wonder so many people who worked on homestuck abandoned ship. Toby looks like he's having a good career and Hussie looks like he's afraid of what he created. Maybe there is poetic justice to be gleaned from all of this.

It had lot of creative ideas and talent. But through it, there are cracks and messes that can't be ignored. Even now, the same kind of messes appear again in present times and I think people are scared to talk about it in fear that the thing they love was not as great as they though it was. We really are suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Even when moments in the series and narrative itself that tells the audience that we were stupid to even care, we stayed because we loved it for what it was back then before the meta shit kicked in. The whole revival of the series so it won't fade away and being comparable to Star Wars is a good way to describe it. The team not taking risks to actually go outside of the Homestuck cast, tell a new story, or even trying to focus on the base webcomic alone that made it popular in the first place. They can't even put more focus on Hiveswap just yet because they know people know Homestuck first before Hiveswap, despite said game could make a better introduction or entryway for people to get interested in the webcomic. I'm not sure what is going on through Hussie or James Roach's mind for all this.