#this is why i need to find my drawing skills again Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[luv-again]

dudes if i could remember how to fucken draw, i would make a ton of sonic ocs based off nz birds. and they would serve no other purpose than to be silly

[cestacruz]

Mmm Jeanne

[dollwrites]

WAAAAAAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT! You write Tokyo ghoul???? I NEED to be aware when you open requests again, I crave anything with my favorite Uta 😍🥰 I don’t see enough of him and I think you’d write him really really well!!!

ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ᴜᴛᴀ

𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 ∣ smut ( minors dni ), fem!ghoul!reader, oral fixation ( fingers ), masturbation ( her! ), reader’s nonverbal, very very subtle pet play ( just the vibes i feel ), finger sucking, all characters featured are aged 18+

𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗻𝘁 ∣ please reblog && leave feedback. not proofread so there’s probably mistakes. thanks for reading < 3

𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗼𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰 ∣ intermission [ oral fixation ]

“Gently,” Uta reminded you, without so much as looking up from his work. with his right hand steadily swirling obsidian spirals over his newest creation, his left had been outstretched for you, willowy digits tracing the shape of your parted lips before slipping past the threshold, only to be welcomed by your eager tongue. upon tasting the pads of his fingertips, you have the sudden urge to clamp your lips down around the extremities, to suck on them, and relish the flavor of your lover, but you heed his warning and simply stroke each digit from knuckle to nail with your tongue, mouth hanging agape.

“Still quite a feral, little thing, but mind those teeth this time.” his pointer finger twisted slightly, to tap against the shape of your canines, and test their sharp edges, but you had no real intention of biting him. of course, that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t do it by accident— which has happened before. you get a little too eager, a little too excited, and you snap your jaws shut like a hungry pup.

usually, you would grip his wrist with both hands, a silent plea not to take the taste of his fingers from your mouth, but right now yours were busy, too. they had both been occupied beneath the loose fabric of the oversized nightshirt you wore, one palming your breast, squeezing and pinching at your own nipple, whilst the other was shoved hastily into your panties, strumming your greedy pussy. you had become accustomed to Uta’s doting ever since he took you in; his constant touching on you, his affectionate lips and tongue seeking out your most sensitive parts, but when he worked you were utterly neglected.

so, you would find yourself in such a position, panting like a happy bitch on your knees at his feet, sucking and licking on his fingers as you tried to mimic the pleasure he could give you with your own hands. your skill paled in comparison to his, but it was all you could do to keep from interrupting him.

Uta knows this, which is why there’s a subtle tickle of pride in the way his lips creeped up, even as his crimson gaze remains fixed on the mask before him, at every sound you make. every heavy breath, every moan of his name. he knows that you’re needy, that your desperate for him, and he knows that to make you wait was probably a cruel punishment for a sweet, but ravenous little thing like you.

“Naughty, messy little girl.” he offers in a soothing tone, feeling webs of sticky drool tether his fingers to your tongue as you lick and suck on each one. the excess dribbles down your chin, either soaking into the fabric of your shirt or leaving a small puddle on the floor between your knees. “You can pet and pet that pretty pussy of yours, but you still can’t make yourself cum like I can, hm?” there’s a hint of arrogance in his soft chuckle, but it’s one well warranted. you shake your head, your tongue too busy to answer by forming words— drawing loops against the base of each finger, allowing the tips to reach deep into your mouth as they could, nearly gagging you as they prodded at your gullet. you rubbed your own fingers against your clit faster, pressing harder until you were squirming on your knees, scooting right up to his leg to press your whole body into it. your own, deep ruby stare flickered up to him, piercing… begging.

“That’s quite alright, I like being the only one that can tame you,” he offers, retracting his digits from your mouth. you let out a soft, disgruntled huff, attempting to follow them, to pull them back in, and worship them again with your tongue, but he doesn’t allow it. they travel downwards, and you watch as strings of saliva sever and drip from them and your own lips. grabbing the fabric of your nightshirt, he gives it a tug, pulling you upright, balancing tall on your knees, so that he can reach between your thighs without bending too far away from his mask in progress. your head swims, and you let out a little whimper as slick, svelte pads push your own away and tap against your puffy button, teasing you further, assessing your sticky sex. Uta lets out a soft, fond sigh, “There she is. Throbbing and swollen for me.” your tongue flicks and rolls impatiently just behind the seal of your couplet, desperate to be occupied, too, so your own fingers pry beyond the barrier created by your lips, leaving the scent and taste of your own cunt on them. you suck on them, purring in pure ecstasy at the sensation of Uta teasing your clit. it wasn’t enough to make you cum, but it was plenty to keep you right on the edge you’d led yourself to, so as not to sully your hard work with a ruined orgasm.

“But you’ll have to occupy yourself for a bit longer, little thing.” he said, resolved, gently pulling his hand back, sitting upright in his seat again. you whine, and -to keep from losing that built up tension- slam yourself down against his foot, grinding your damp panty-clad pussy against his shoe as you lean against his leg. he gives the top of your head an affectionate pat, before he immersing himself in his art. “I’m still busy, you know.”

[miumura]

𐙚 CARE FOR A DANCE? — PARK SUNGHOON 𝄞

SYNOPSIS ) “unexpectedly” running into you mid-training, he asks you for a dance. thinking it’s just for his practice, Sunghoon has other plans that night.

♪ DANCE PARTNERS ⋆ prince!sunghoon x knight-gn!reader

HIS INVITATION ✉️ ! royal au, forbidden love, angst (if you like squint), fluff

THE GUIDELINES — none ? THE WAITLIST 1.4K ( 1408 ) !

.ᐟ NOTICE 📄 hanniluvi cb!!! yk i just HAD to write for hoon again, its a tradition to have written works for him 🙏 i always end up writing fics for him its a problem … AND ALSO, writing royal aus is sooo new to me 😭 i be reading them but idk abt writing so…like the knowledge leaves my head…but its a work in progress Trust! anyways, i hope you enjoy it <3

Using your sleeve, you wiped the sweat off your face before continuing. The clinking of your sword against the wooden targets echoed throughout the training grounds. It was late at night, and yet, you couldn’t spare for a moment of rest—you worked too hard to earn that knight title. You huffed, already preparing for another round. And as you were about to slash once more, an unexpected sound reached your ears—the approaching footsteps.

In a reflexive spin, you draw your sword, poised to face an unknown intruder. To your surprise, the intruder reveals himself as none other than Prince Park Sunghoon. He raises his hands in a gesture of peace, an amused smile playing on his lips.

"Why, you're still always on guard, aren't you?" the prince remarks, his eyes dancing with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

Lowering your sword and slightly bowing, you nod. "I didn’t expect anyone to be here at this hour. And, to answer your question, a knight's duty doesn't rest, even in the quiet of the night, Your Highness."

He released a quick sigh of relief, relieved that you finally put the sword away from his neck. "I intended to take a scroll to the garden and couldn’t help but be captivated by your skill. It’s as if you were one with the sword."

Still catching your breath, you offered a modest smile. You teased, "Why, thank you, Prince Sunghoon. Training was essential for that to happen—I’m quite flattered by your compliment.”

Sunghoon retrieves something from his pocket, extending it to you. Your gaze fell to his hand—a pristine white handkerchief. "Wipe your sweat off your face with this, instead of your sleeves," he suggested. Glancing back at him, you noticed him clearing his throat and looking away. You chuckled, accepting the handkerchief from his hand.

"Is it common for Your Highness to carry handkerchiefs during night strolls, or did you specifically hope to find me practicing late at night?"

"You're overthinking it, Sir YN," he muttered, but your attention remained on the handkerchief, adorned with his initials in gold. As you wiped away sweat, his pleased smile didn't go unnoticed. "I'll return this to you tomorrow."

"No need, you may keep it."

"Your Highness, I can't accept something crafted for royalty," he soon interjected sharply.

"I insist. Can you defy a royal order?"

"Now that's one I can't go against," you chuckled, stuffing the handkerchief into your pocket. Glancing back at him, you caught a glimmer in his eyes—a familiar look he wore when he wished for something. "Now, what do you need, Your Highness? I'm sure you didn't just happen to run into me."

A pause hung in the air, your eyes meeting in a moment of unspoken connection. Breaking the silence, Prince Sunghoon impulsively asked, "Since you're at rest, would you care for a dance under the moonlit sky to celebrate your dedication, YN?"

"A dance? While I'm all sweaty like this?" You plopped yourself on the ground, shutting your eyes for a mere second. "Shouldn't you head back to your chamber, Prince?"

“Not until you take my hand,” he reached his hand out, leaving you no choice but to accept it. You did, hoping it would expedite his return to his chambers. "If you must. What does Your Highness want to dance to?"

"Just follow my lead," he suddenly pulled you in by placing his hand on your waist. You tensed slightly with the unexpected touch, trying to find a way to calm your increased heartbeat. He took your hands with his, twirling you gently. "Leave your attention on me, YN.”

His fingers supported your back as you both stepped in sync. Slowly, the tension in your shoulders disappeared, feeling rather at ease. Swaying together, he locked eyes with you, and in that shared gaze, a spark was created. His movements were graceful, and you effortlessly kept up with his every move. The dance became a silent conversation, as there were emotions expressed through subtle gestures.

He pulled you closer, guiding the dance into a dip, holding you steady as you leaned. With his hand against your back, he lifted you back up effortlessly. With the absence of music, your attention seemed to shift more on his features. Caught in a trance, you observed the subtle shifts in his expression, noticing the carefree and genuine look on his face.

The moonlight accentuated the moles on his face, and his fang-like teeth peeked through. As you moved in synchronized harmony, you also detected a subtle, entrancing aroma—Prince Sunghoon’s floral cologne. The scent wafted through the night air, and how it was super intoxicating.

A twinge of guilt crept into your thoughts. Was it wrong for you to be so attentive to him at a moment like this? This had to be merely practice for the ball hosted tomorrow evening.

With one last spin, his hands now rested on the sides of your waist, an intense gaze fixed on you.

The wind picked up, adding an extra layer of romance to the already enchanting moment. It pushed strands of hair away from your face, and a bright smile crept onto your lips. The corners of Sunghoon’s mouth started to rise, his hands still firmly on your waist. “May I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“YN, tomorrow night, will you be my dance partner again?”

Confusion flickered across your face. "But, my prince, it's just practice. A knight cannot dance with you for your royal ball."

He wore a small smile, vulnerability taking over his tone. “Why can’t I dance with you?”

You chuckled softly, “Your dance partner has to be the one you will marry for your future heir.”

“Well then, will you marry me?”

Your heart stopped. “What? Are you joking, Your Highness?”

“Please, just call me Sunghoon when it’s just the two of us. It feels weird to be the only one calling you by your name like this.” His hands left your waist, but now sneaking up to your hands. Grabbing your fingers, his grip tightened as he cleared his throat. “I know I’m the type to joke around, but this isn’t a situation I’d joke around in.”

“What are you saying—”

“How foolish you are. What I’m trying to say is that I love you. I adore you, and I wish to have you. Does that sound clear enough?”

Your heart was skipping beats. “No, how foolish you are! My prince—I mean, Sunghoon, you must find a suitable match within your rank. Your family wouldn't approve of a knight."

As you two stood in silence, his eyes pleading. “I don’t care about those rules. I care about you. Please, YN, be my partner, be my…everything.”

Your gaze softened, torn between duty and desire. "Sunghoon, you're a prince, and I'm just a family knight. This can't be."

“I want to pursue you.”

“This isn’t good for you. It won’t be good for you once you rule the kingdom—your status and your people would be placed in danger,” you suddenly blurted, clearly flustered by the sudden confessions. “It’s just such a huge risk.”

“You’re a risk worth taking. Can’t you tell that I’m already heads over heels for you?”

“But—”

“Can you stop pushing me away? Is it that hard for you to admit your feelings for me too?” Desperation filled his voice, his eyes wavering at you. “Or is the title of a royal knight that important to you?”

“I’m just worried. Your family wouldn’t approve of this.” You let one of your hands free from his grasp, running it through your hair. There was still that determined look on his face, as if he wanted to convince you to just follow both of your hearts.

“Then, let’s prove them wrong tomorrow night. Let’s prove that a prince and a knight are capable of ruling together. Capable of falling in love.” You were certainly worried about this. But, the look on his face was making it harder for you to even reject his ideas. “Please?”

“If I lose my place as a royal knight, it certainly will be over for you.”

“You just won’t stop worrying about those titles, don’t you?”

“Can you really blame me for acting like this when you say such bold words?” You joked, seeing a smile soon appear on his lips.

“That’s what love is, YN.” He chuckles. “It changes you, causing you to take such risks—all in the name of love.”

💬 : don’t fulfill my thoughts n say to write a whole fic abt prince!sunghoon x knight!reader bc i WILL continue this .

ENHA PERM TAGLIST (1) — @flwoie @ixomiyu @haruavrse @shinsou-rii @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck @ineedaherosavemeenow @ml8dy @starikizs @wonioml @chirokookie @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @en-chantedtomeetyou @millksea @enhaz1 @eundiarys @hyeosi @ja4hyvn @judeduartewannabe @j-wyoung @thia-aep @vampcharxter @softpia @officiallyjaehyuns @itsactuallylina @hsheart @sweetjaemss @ahnneyong @hanienie @jwnghyuns @kpoplover718 @jiawji @rikizm @haknom @yeokii @wvnkoi @whoschr @teddywonss @shinunoga-iie-wa @isoobie @skzenhalove @misokei @s00buwu @ox1-lovesick @miercerise @litttlestars @enhapocketz

[randomyuu]

the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

My guy Vox once again graced us with lovely Goyuu fanfics, and the way it follows you home, the stories i never told, made me go FERAL.

Time travel? Two Gojou Satorus? Double affection for our sunshine Yuuji? Yuuji sandwich? What feels like possible continuation of (you'll whisper, serpent tongue) what you fear you have become???

FUCK.

I need to stop indulging my imagination too much. I should’ve been content with writing long-ass comments but noooooo, my brain goes “you gotta draw it”. DAMMIT VOX, YOU AND YOUR DELICIOUS WRITINGS HHHHHH

So… usually I should’ve picked a favourite scene that is within my drawing capability, but I just… love all three chapters??? So I made a questionable time investment? I can’t stop??? Help???

This is probably the most ambitious fanart project I’ve ever done so far. Fair enough, considering I might combust if I keep these welled-up emotions inside from reading Vox’s Goyuu fics. Fuck.

Fic info:

Title: the way it follows you home, the stories i never told

Author: @voxofthevoid

Pairing: YuuGoGo. Future!Yuuji, Future!Gojou, Teen!Gojou

(idk why I laugh writing YuuGoGo. I’m beyond help)

Currently, it is 3 chapters out of 8. And it’s gonna be NSFW chapter 4 onwards, so don’t forget to read the tags first, folks!

The drawings are under Read More, because I have lots of thoughts surrounding each chapter and drawings. It’ll be hella long if I didn’t hide it here. It was a mess down there. A combination of hours before, during, and after I read said fic. I’d say good luck finding the art among the sea of jumbled words but… you’ll find them easily. Don’t worry about it haha

SPOILERS FOR ALL 3 CHAPTERS! I highly recommend reading those first before diving into these drawings!

Also for the comics, read from right to left please!

From here on, I will be referring to the Future!Gojou as Gojou and the teenage one as Satoru.

Overall, drawing all these is fun! Really fun! This project pushed me quite hard, forcing me to test my limit (because I rarely draw this much back to back). Since this is a combination of drawings and comics, the coloring style will not be consistent. In a way, I want to try some brushes I never get to use, as well as try out my new graphic tablet. Drawing these got me giggling because I was finally able to let loose during line art. It's much easier to do so, and sometimes I just get to reread the fic and giggle to myself for the nth time.

CHAPTER 1:

Whooo. Whooooooooo—

Ok, ok, the premise is just that good. It intrigued me, fascinated me, and I just… oomph. I cannot refuse a Time Travel Yuuji Sandwich. Sign me up.

Honestly, there are two scenes that are just… a bit too clear in my mind when reading this chapter. That would be the one I drew above, and the other is when Yaga called Gojou to come outside of the class. I love, loooove how Vox wrote Satoru’s POV. And when Yuuji fucking giggles?

I lost it.

Can you imagine, drawing Yuuji grins, with shiny stuff, maybe some sunlight, just purely happy and indulging Gojou?

Help me, for I am drowning in my love and adoration for Yuuji.

Page 2 is an experiment on using harsh black as shading (kind of?). I really enjoyed colouring Yuuji, and drawing those buffalo skulls! I wish I can grasp the concept of contrast a bit better tho :v

CHAPTER 2:

This is probably the only chapter where I picture still images instead of comic panels. A bit like those cool chapter covers in mangas. The one I really, really want to draw is the scene with Satoru on the table. Can’t pass the opportunity to highlight Satoru being a brat, albeit a really cool brat.

Cool idea drawing always proves to be a challenge, because of course my artistic skill just so happens to be below the requirement. Thank you, Sketchfab, for the chair and desk’s perspective otherwise I’m screwed lmao

The second scene that I want to draw the most is this:

Gojou is one step away from climbing Yuuji. Also, I have a bit of a problem picturing a man pouting that makes him look crazy instead, so please have Gojou pouting adorably instead. Because, as Yuuji said (with love), Gojou is (also) a brat.

This is possibly my favorite art in this project, after Yuuji's in Chapter 1 page 2. It's clean because I don't have to draw background, and I was having a fun time drawing Yuuji. And Gojou's squishy cheek as well.

Oh, actually, there is a “manga” scene in this chapter. It’s when Yuuji said, “I love Satoru.”

I just—

AAAAAHHHHH YUUJIIIIIII YOU AND VOX ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. That secure relationship between Yuuji and Gojou? Satoru’s description of how Yuuji’s smile could blot out the sun??? Not me screaming 💀 I also see bits of hints of possible co-dependency, though I could be reading those wrong, but either way I’m good. Secure and possessive relationships are fun to consume hhhhhh

But yeah. There are too many wholesome Yuuji smiles in this fic, and I… I am not confident enough to draw genuine happiness. It’s too much for me ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

For this chapter, another reason why I chose these two scenes is just because I want to try and draw cover-worthy pictures of Yuuji and Satoru, and Yuuji and Gojou (cough)

CHAPTER 3:

We start the chapter with Nanamin. Ah, Nanamin. I forgot what his teen self looked like and was surprised to see his design again lmao

I want to draw Yuuji and Nanami scene because… I just want to, I guess. I have never drawn him before (Yaga as well) so that's an interesting challenge. I got two ideas on how I want to draw it. One is a bit painting-esque, and the other one is like another chapter cover. In the end, I chose the cover one because I want to emphasise the difference between teen!Nanami and the Nanami from Yuuji’s original timeline, and how the watch feels like a connection between the same (yet not) person. It’s a bittersweet feeling? In a way?

I’m not really good at explaining my intention ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

I love Yuuji’s answer to Nanami's question.

AND FINALLY.

A Yuuji SandwichTM scene.

And oh B O I do I love it. Have I told you I like every chapter? I probably have. But this one? Satoru’s curiosity, Yuuji’s on-brand self-deprecation, and Gojou come strolling down to show more of Yuuji to his mini-self. I want to draw this whole scene, from Gojou finding them, feeding Yuuji snacks, bitch-slapping Satoru into the backroom, to Yuuji growling. Them trying to hide a boner from Yuuji’s growl got me cackling so hard I LOVE IT 😭

I love it all. Please love Yuuji in my stead, Satoru and Satonyan :3

Oh! Also! 40-finger Yuuji sounds really, really cool! I’ll be happy with whatever Vox will give us in future chapters, but 40-finger Yuuji… possible scene with this timeline’s Sukuna… my god. The action! The drama! The bloodshed! One can only hope.

However, as much as I love that whole scene, it’s still too much for me :”) I’m still not yet confident in delivering the humour and action. Also my already-long drawing plan had my brain groaning in protest so I can’t push my luck :'D

When Gojou said "He looks sweet, but he's a bit of a beast", I kept picturing Yuuji staring innocently, but there was an edge to his look. As if the moment Satoru looks away, he will pounce. But in the end I just stick with innocent-looking Yuuji because I accidentally drew his eyes that way and I want to keep it in lol

Since Satoru points out how soft and cuddly Yuuji is, I also want to draw soft Yuuji :v

And the last one… is the last scene. For some reason, I read that both Gojou and Satoru share Yuuji’s lap and was having a frustrating yet fun time figuring out how it’s… physically possible, without having their butts on the ground because they both are not small at all. As I lined the art, I reread it again and… perhaps I read it wrong? Satoru is beside Yuuji, and not on his lap? So yeah, this one might be the least accurate, but hey, at least you can view it as a crack drawing or something :v

AAAANNNDDD I HAVE EXCEEDED TODAY’S BRAIN CAPACITY OF FORMING WORDS

Have I told you I love this fic?

…I probably have.

Have an amazing week (❁´▽`❁)*✲ﾟ*

[shepscapades]

*rotates dbhc!Xisuma and Doc in my head*

I'm sorry but I absolutely lose my mind over them ( I have literally no one who I could ramble about this to and I need to get it out). I want to analyse stuff, so let me just:

*breathes in*

It's visible that they are good friends and have been since the time when Doc deviated, research partners doing... research? Or whatever researchers do *shrugs*.

But there's one thing to it, X created Doc and most of other androids. He understands what is deviation because Doc explained it to him but his friend is still an android after all. We also know that X always calls Doc "Docm" but in previous comic he calls him "Doc" and it is stated that it's the first time he ever called him that. In which moment he calls him that? In the moment when he realises that Doc is more human than android now, I may be delusional about this all but I just feel like: the moment when he sees Etho overpower Doc, shove him and break him and stuff, Xisuma sees that Doc isn't a fearless machine but a someone, a human, he got overpowered by Etho and suffered consequences, he felt fear like a human not a machine. Also he lost his arm because he was trying to stop Etho from hurting X as we see in the second part of the comic, which only adds to that. So, this is the moment where X fully realises that he means something to Doc, not as a creator, but as a friend, and that's why for the rest of the comic he constantly makes sure if his partner is alright by talking to him, glancing at him. You know stuff. He grew closer and closer to Doc as time passed and I think this was the climax - the moment he called Docm77 "Doc".

While Doc is doing the most stoic stuff ever and trying not to self destruct and stuff, he cares about X too, very much even, he's protective towards him and shows it by jumping into danger he could have avoided [ Etho attacked X because he's an admin and probably knows where's Grian - Etho wants to hunt down this pesky bird for killing Bdubs] just so his partner won't get hurt how sweet <3 RIP arm you will be remembered...

Anyways I feel like they should talk about stuff and maybe cuddle and maybe I don't know LIVE?? NOT DIE??

Yeah, I think that I don't even need to explain for how long they've been spinning in my head.

Also wanted to thank you so much for so many kind words on my fanart !! I'm glad I can make someone happy with my cheap, old drawing tablet and some self taught skills lol sorry for flooding your ask-box again so so sorry but those comics make me go AWOOGA holy shift, and also DOC AND X CONTENT !! They are so underrated that you almost can't find anything good relating to them as a duo! [personally I think they're great, just two dudes that do things together and care for eachother <3]

So, yep. Prepare yourself for things like that after every new part comes out I WILL make memes and I WILL analyse block men.... sorry not sorry :)

[how to get me into an AU- tutorial: Xisumavoid must be in it- the end]

WE ARE ROTATING THEM. WE ARE WATCHING THEM ROTATE!!!!! you freaking GET me

(THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING THOUGHTS HAPPENING HERE!!!! None of which I’ll confirm but Eye Emoji :3 I love love love these theories they make me so happy ehehehehehe)

(ALSO YOU’RE SO WELCOME!!! That art made my day fr LMAO I love and appreciate it so much!!! <3)

[finn-writes-stuff]

How about a Percy fic with dancing like beauty and the beast ballroom with something a little saucy at the end

In The Glade

When a plan relies on you being able to dance, Percy steps up to teach you, finally tipping the tension over the edge

Percy de Rolo x Reader

Fandom: The Legend of Vox Machina/Critical Role

Format: Oneshot

Content: This is just a snippet of romantic tension. It did not end up saucy.

Gender Neutral Reader

Masterlist

I'm in love with him, that is my husband right there. Sorry that this didn't end up saucy! Mutual pining has been rotting my brain lately <3 -Finn

You were going to kill Scanlan one of these days. He had managed to find a new lead for your latest adventure, but of course, it required infiltrating a formal event and finding out secrets. Scanlan had even created the perfect plan. You could subtly interrogate a person of interest on the dance floor and no one would be any wiser! Never mind the fact that you had never learned a ballroom dance in your life. 

There was no way you could do this, you would be found out immediately, the first moment that you misstepped. Why had you agreed to this?

"You're holding yourself too stiffly, you have to let me lead or this doesn't work." 

Percy’s steady voice drew you out of your thoughts as he tapped the hard set of your shoulders, a gentle reprimand to pull your focus back to him. He had offered to teach you how to dance, a skill he still remembered from his childhood in Whitestone. He should've been the one going, but he would have been at risk of being recognized.

"It's formal, but you do need to relax a bit, love. Get out of your head," Percy continued, waiting for you to drop some of the tension. "I can practically hear the gears grinding in there."

"If I die at that party, I need you to avenge me and kill Scanlan for this plan." 

"Deal, I can do that but you aren't going to die. Just focus alright? Here, step closer, you look like a scared deer. Nerves are like blood in the water at events like that."

You obeyed, stepping closer as his hand settled on your waist. Here, in the empty glade that he had found for the two of you, there was nothing to distract you from him. From the gentle heat radiating off him or the scent of gunpowder that always clung to him and his coat. He had a unique skill of being able to settle your racing thoughts just by being near you. 

"Follow my steps without guessing what I'm going to do next. Just trust that I have you," he said, guiding you once again into the dance. He was so sure of his movements, the same way he was in combat. It was incredible to watch, even as you stumbled along with him. He stayed steady, keeping you on track. "You're doing well."

"I've stepped on your feet multiple times already."

"So long as you don't start doing it intentionally, it's fine." He was smiling at you, the teasing lilt to his tone making your thoughts go fuzzy at the edges. 

"I should, you seem too smug about being able to teach me this."

"I'm hardly smug, I just...enjoy this. It's rare to get the chance to properly dance with someone and even moreso, I enjoy your company. So this is nice." 

You could feel heat rushing to your face. It always caught you off guard when he responded honestly rather than with his usual sarcasm. Banter was easy, but this set you off balance. Percy had been doing that more and more lately. You didn't know what to make of it, but you knew your heart was flipping in your chest each time he did. 

"It's, yeah, I think it's nice too. I really like getting to spend time with you" 

Gods, that smile. A little nervous, but so terribly genuine with a splash of red across his cheeks. You could hardly think, not when he was smiling at you like that and he was holding you so close, spinning you around the glade. The trees hid you both from the rest of the world, in this sweet moment of time, as if you had just stepped into a dream. 

You had both been heading towards an inevitable conclusion, drawing closer every time you joked around the campfire at night or had the other's back in a fight. From the first time that he had grinned at you, from the first time he had heard you laugh. There was no world where you wouldn't have fallen in love with him. And here, in each other's arms, you couldn't deny it. 

"Whatever you're thinking about now, it makes you better at following the dance, you aren't overthinking it anymore."

"I've got a good teacher. Are you going to teach me how to shoot next? Or maybe show me how to make those fancy arrows." 

He laughed and it felt like your chest was full to bursting. 

"Ask me nicely when you come back from that party and I will teach you anything you want." 

"Anything? That's a dangerous promise, de Rolo."

"I trust you. Besides, I think you're too curious about my guns to ask for anything else."

"What if I did want something else? Not a lesson," you asked, gently worrying the fabric of his sleeve between your fingers. 

"Then all you need do is ask."

"What if I asked to kiss you?" 

His breath caught, and you watched how his eyes dropped to your lips for a moment, before carefully dragging back up to meet your gaze. There was an open, honest want in his eyes, mirroring your own. 

"As I said, all you need do is ask." 

"May I kiss you, Percy?"

His voice was breathless as he responded without hesitation. "Please do." 

You couldn't tell who leaned in first, who kissed who, all you knew was the feeling of his lips on yours, a calloused hand cradling your face, and how good it felt to give into it all.

[kaiserouo]

Wow i actually have enough rendered pieces to make an art summary this year. Just barely tho

Ramble below, also template ref

Oh god where do i even start. This is the part where i reflect on myself and do nothing about it afterwards.

In thems of topics, it's mostly just apex d2 and wf. I've never made my own world and characters because most ideas that i have the motivation to make into art comes from me playing the game. Maybe that's why I don't really treat a lot of my original character as "original characters", because they're still bound to a game instead of, you know, born out of the blue i guess.

I barely did render this year... I mean, not just this year of course. I think I slightly got the hang of it these two months? At least I kinda have a pipeline that I can follow and could tolerate / fix some of my mistakes in the later stages (e.g., picking wrong colors for flat color and wanna fix it during rendering etc.). It's... kinda like OOP? Decoupling code? I think it just comes down to opening a million layers and not feeling bad about it. Anyway I think one of my improvements comes from here.

Another improvement would be the speed of doing sketches and the complexity of the lineart I can handle (idk how to say that). I need to draw comics and there would be a lot of people in there, so even if I don't practice specifically I still need to draw some human figures. The complexity part is due to me getting into warframe just because of how fucking complicated they all are. Maybe instead of lineart complexity I should say I'm comfortable drawing somewhat complex characters now without my brain overloading and immediately giving up. Still haven't drawn BT though.

That's probably all the obvious improvements I can think of. I didn't read as many books as last year, but the two main books I read last year are for perspective and anatomy, which I do find very very useful. I still often go back to check some anatomy stuff this year, and with me spam drawing comics I think I can draw human figures better than before... if I only consider proportion that is. I think I have to redo anatomy all over again especially for the muscle part. Also probably should do more real human reference practice... Well, you can probably guess why I said that at the start.

I do think the reason why I do so little rendering is because I mostly do comics. Most of my ideas have a plot and my idea list is waaaaay too long to actually color the comics. And as I feel more comfortable drawing comics I fear more when I wanna do rendering because of the skill gap I have between the two subjects. Also most of you come for silly comics so why do I do full rendered pieces anyways... Yeah, after typing that sentence I do feel wrong thinking like that. But oh well, I guess I can't escape the curse of liking to see numbers go up.

Speaking of numbers, here's some of them. Good thing I don't have to deal with Tumblr API myself.

That's... quite a lot of followers, for me. I mean I don't stay in only one fandom so I have no idea why most of you followed me. Also sorry to ultrakill fans I just don't draw a lot for that game but I see some of you liking a ton of ultrakill post and immediately follows me. Kinda felt that I baited you folks for following me tbh...

Also 3 of my top 5 posts (2234 > 1726 > 1641 > 1531 > 1321) are ultrakill and I only have 27 ultrakill art posts (a lot fewer than other games) so... um, maaaaybe you should consider unfollowing me to clean up your timeline...?

Aaand here are the note stats per month because I've already typed this much so why not just include literally everything in one post

The only thing I can analyze is that the note and post number started to lose correlation due to how much ramble shitpost I have these months.

Okay that's it. I intended to make another art summary for the lineart / unrendered art pieces, but there's just too many to choose from and I don't think you can infer more from these given that the rendered pieces already has lineart in them. Mostly.

[rontra]

My hand never seems to actually translate the ideas that are spinning up in my brain. how do you get it all out? any advice? just draw more? do i need to use more references? your art is just so beatiful you are one of my top inspos.

ah first of all thank you very much! i'm honored! 😳

(long post incoming lol)

to answer the question though, i don't think i sufficiently translate what's in my mind and i frequently let myself down! but it's important not to let that Stop you. i think overall it's sort of multifaceted and different for everyone--theres no single answer i can give you that will guaranteed work for you--but for me personally i think it mainly comes down to Derangement, DISCRETION!!, Discipline, & Diet

before i say anything more though it's important also to remember that making visual art (in our case drawings/comics) is training like 2 or 3 separate skills (depending on how you divide them). the HAND represents your current drawing ability & technique; what your drawing hand is physically able to produce when you set pen to paper. the BRAIN is the creative engine that cooks up your ideas and thinks of ways to assemble them. and the EYE represents your ability to recognize what art looks like and how it "should" look. when your brain is thinking of ideas and your hand can't capture them, that is not because you're "bad" at it: it means your eye skill is currently outpacing your hand skill. your ability to discern art, to see things like proportions and anatomy and composition and whatever else is going on, is currently stronger than your ability to draw them yourself. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw!!!! but it does mean your hands' ability to capture what your brain has imagined will let your eyes down until your hands catch up. once they do--by studying, practicing your technique, using references, and gaining confidence--your eye skill will then begin to outpace it again. this cycle, the dance between the two skills, is why you might sometimes feel yourself suddenly "getting good" at art, then just as suddenly plateauing or "getting worse"; you are training different parts of what makes art happen. there is nothing wrong with this. you are improving even when it doesnt feel like it--even when it feels like THE LITERAL OPPOSITE is happening. because you're improving different skills!

(and of course as your eye skill develops you will look back at previous stages of development and go "HOW COULD I NOT SEE HOW BAD THIS LOOKS!"--and yeah. that's the thing; you probably, rather literally, couldn't see it! you only think it looks bad now because you've improved your "eye" skill. you should try to be proud of that feeling, even though it also likely sucks and is embarrassing to you at the same time. there's posts, even recent ones, that i go "i cant believe i thought that looked OK enough to post PUBLICLY" and it is embarrassing for me! but all it means is that i'm better at what i do now...so it doesn't get me down too badly. you gotta shrug that stuff off.)

with that out of the way, my four evil councilmen are as follows:

DERANGEMENT: find something you are not normal about. this can be anything (whether it's a topic that interests you, The Character, a medium, a damn color palette...anything!), as long as it captures your mind and motivates you to create. your brain should be spinning up ideas like crazy and your only choice is to draw them. because once you have Derangement the only thing that feels worse than Making Something Subpar is sitting around Not Making Anything At All. you should be interested in what you draw. you should ideally love it, even if you don't love your own art yet. once you know what motivates you, let that simmer until you have no choice but to draw even if you're scared it'll turn out bad. and hey--there will probably (unless you become some kind of Art God) always be parts you think should've turned out better in some way, however:

DISCRETION!!: realistically nobody NEEDS to know what parts of a piece you're unhappy with. it's valuable to have friends/art partners/mentors/whatever that you can comfortably check in with and go "i dont like [part], what do you think" and get feedback, but that's for YOU. for the audience at large, maybe people will notice, maybe they won't, but as an artist you are constantly growing and you will very likely be constantly looking back at past pieces (even just days or hours old sometimes) and going "what the hell was i thinking? how did i not see [error/s], or why didn't i go for [different idea/finish/color palette/etc]?". getting hung up on this will probably either light a fire under you or demotivate you completely depending on your particular brain soup. for me it can go either way depending on where i'm at in my current hand/eye development phase. but i try not to fixate on it. it's enough to observe it and take notes for next time. every drawing is part of your growth and you have to make wonky art in order to occasionally make something that satisfies your eyes. in the meantime, don't beat yourself up or put yourself down. you are gaining experience and technical know-how, and spotting things you'd like to work on for next time; especially if you're sharing this work and other people are telling you they like what you made, there's no need to undercut this by dwelling on the rough parts so much that you can't enjoy it. the important thing is that you made it.

DISCIPLINE: you made it, it's done, now make something new. do it again from the top! you're right: Drawing A Lot is absolutely the key to Drawing Better. it is also usually an evil curse that reveals How Bad You Drew 3 Months Ago. but you have no choice, if you want to hone your skills and improve the Brain Image -> Art Image translation. you have to do it even when it sucks. do it bored, do it scared, but you have to do it or you'll never get anywhere. when improving yourself, you have to draw a lot to see change, and this is the part that sucks, right? feeling like you're not really getting anywhere or like you'll never capture what's in your mind. you can do studies where you collect references and focus in on ironing out something that's bothering you (such as, like, specific objects, perspectives, clothing details, anatomy pieces, light and shadow, etc etc); this can help crack the malaise for sure... learning how to use references is good, as well as whatever tools are available to you (in your medium/software). How To Do This is sort of a different post, but it does help (and sometimes annoyingly so; there's been rare but very annoying moments in my career where i will be simply looking at a picture and idly make an observation that cracks a style/anatomy problem i've had for Years and im always like COME ON!!! hahaha--but yes looking at references and studying them "like an artist" definitely helps, even when it's not as miraculous as that). overall work smarter and nail down the stuff you're unsure about, then incorporate what you've learned into your art style until it looks a way you like. you will likely have to just grind it out sometimes, and often this grind will not feel particularly fun. but you can Dog Medication Salami Pocket yourself into it if you're drawing something you're sufficiently Deranged about. <- this is what diesel is always doing with those women (LOL)

also, Output. you do have to Be Making Stuff in order to finish stuff. for example for comic projects like adastra or failteacher au, if i can draw ~1 page a day, the update will be complete in no time. but i have to draw that 1 page every day to make it happen, even if i feel off or lack confidence about what i'm making. of course i'm not saying you shouldn't take breaks; you NEED to take breaks, set your goals to your own level, and listen to yourself (and don't get some kind of wrist problem like me please). but the point im trying to make is that if you can make yourself sit down and do it even though you're scared it'll turn out bad, (or, hell, even if this part of your project is Simply Boring), then you can do it anytime. this is important too. but you will probably still sometimes feel stuck if you try to work and grind all the time.

DIET: regularly, but especially when you're stuck in a rut, step away from your craft and enrich your diet. you have to play just as much as you have to work. for example, i am always ALWAYS reading comics. at any given time i probably have 1-4 (sometimes more) tabs open of different comics i am simultaneously reading!!!! i read webcomics, webtoons, manga, DC--any demographic or genre, i take random recs from people and just go read them. whatever medium you're in, you have to take in what other people are doing with it, you have to let them teach and inspire you. you have to branch out and look at genres and styles you usually don't. unwind and look at comics, at illustrations, at design, at animation, at video games. enjoy them as an audience, but look at them like an artist too. when you like something, pause and examine (as both an artist and audience) why you like it. (vice versa: if you don't like something, you can try to figure out why that is!) let other people's ideas and habits flow over you. you have to relax and enrich your mind, to refresh your creativity and motivation. this is crucial. when you come back, you'll feel refreshed and ready to go, and your big brain cauldron of tools + ideas + techniques will be all shiny and bubbling. it's just as important to experience art as it is to make it. i really can't stress that enough!!!!

i talk about comics specifically here because right now obviously i am making a lot of comics (adastra, failteachers). i often feel like i get stuck in boring page layouts and can't think of how to panel something. and honestly sometimes a basic layout that just Gets Through The Scene is simply sufficient (after all, not everything has to be a Groundbreaking New Masterpiece; we would all get fatigued by that!)--or otherwise a "boring layout" is just what i have to put down in order to put down anything at all. but in both cases, reading comics and taking in what people are doing with their layouts makes me feel refreshed and i can return to my own work all rested and bright-eyed. everything we read and watch and take in is added to our "mental library" for the brain to reference when it's time to create something. it is just as enriching and important to experience someone else's art and perspective, and to enjoy a diverse range of impressions. you are always learning and observing, so try to pay attention--it's feeding your brain... :j

(and now, hopefully, your enriched Diet has added fertilizer for your Derangement, and the entire council can take their turn again from the top of the order. HDFHBJFS)

hmm...

well, overall, like i said at the top, there's no One Solution or really Single Piece Of Advice i can offer you. but i hope maybe you got something out of it anyway. everyone's a bit different and everyone's ideal workflow and journey is different too. but don't give up, keep at it, and...GOOD LUCK!!! 🫡🫡🫡

& always remember: in the end, making something YOU like, that looks good to YOU and fulfills YOUR goals, is more important than making something "perfect" (if such a thing even exists). as long as YOU'RE enjoying making your art (yes, even when making the art is hell and sucks!), that's all that matters. 🤝

[seven-meds]

Hi!

I love your art and I am extremely enamored by the beauty of your writing !

That being said, I am an artist as well and I feel like I have been stuck in a creative rut and I don’t know how to get to out ? Do you have an advice on breaking out of the hole and as well do you suggest drawing everyday as a method to keep up with skill?

Thank you so much <3

Thanks so much! I considered this for a while. Giving artistic advice, whether broad or targeted, is always difficult. It's too nebulous of a process for rules but everyone still has such a strong opinion on what the rules should be. 

In my experience, lulls are beneficial when seen from the correct perspective and then taken advantage of. Endless production is antithetical to all art that is not corporate in nature, and lack of inspiration means you will benefit from something often overlooked: new experiences and engagement with new things. Though if you do want to feel productive, take a sketchbook and a pen to a public area and draw what you see for an hour or two. You likely won't be inspired but you will feel accomplished.

Historically, artists took extended periods of time away from creating in order to experience life and take in the world, its people, and themselves. Not always willingly; some were torn away and sent to war, fled their homeland, or were imprisoned, enslaved, or institutionalized. And there are those who spent long periods of time bedridden by illness or injury. But whether their experiences were gained by choice, by force, or by nature, their time away from art is what ended up shaping what they made. Drawing in isolation will sharpen a skill, but it's through repeated use of that skill to translate your experiences that your art improves.

An artist's goal is communication first and foremost. This is why drawing daily on its own cannot make anyone a better artist. It will eventually lead toward some sort of technical prowess, but technical prowess with no voice is fairly pointless and very dull. Ideally, the development of voice will precede the development of technical skill and the two become honed in tandem. What you want to say should define what you need to learn. If you are developing an understanding of your own intentions then you are already a step ahead of the artist who is focusing solely on their ability to draw a head from every angle. 

It's beneficial to conceptualize art as a series of choices rather than a display of objective prowess. The more experiences you have and the more educated you are, the more sophisticated your choices become. You'll also find that you're able to analyze and appreciate (or criticize) the choices of other artists, increasing the enjoyment of engaging with art as a whole. You'll then be led toward more complex and unique work as you become bored with things that salivate over their own palatability. You may also find that art you've passed over before suddenly begins to speak to you.

Spend time exposing yourself to new art, ideally from large swathes of eras, places, and forms, including art that communicates things uncomfortable, disturbing, or offensive to you. Delve into the history of the artists and works you enjoy (or hate) in order to fully understand what's being said and why. If you currently find yourself interacting solely with contemporary art delivered largely via algorithm or advertisement that elicits feelings of familiarity and comfort, you should recognize that as a limitation. You are certainly free to work within it, but you will stumble into inspiration more quickly through exposure to different ideas.

It's also a good time to interact with others, if possible (even from a distance), and to look into topics completely divorced from art. Enrich yourself in many ways. The world is so vast and full of so much. What can you experience and learn that will make you yearn to communicate again? 

Try not to waste years studying aimlessly. Develop an interest, a concept, an idea, an experience, and then work toward communicating it effectively. You will learn as you develop new pieces (because you will put effort and energy into targeted research and study), and those pieces will become more complex in both substance and technique. 

Good luck!

[creatingblackcharacters2]

FAQs!

I go by Ice, she/her pronouns 💕. In case you had any of these questions, here you go:

1. "Why'd you make this page?"

I want to make the creation space- fandom to professional- more inclusive for people that look like me.

It is very disheartening when you really like something, and you see that oh! It's going to include a Black character! And then you get that character and... They're subpar. Especially in comparison to the usually white characters that have so much thought put into them. You accept them because you REALLY want that rep, but... We deserve to wholeheartedly accept our characters too, no ehhs about it.

I wanted to challenge myself, using my amateur art skills and my teaching skills, to convey to creators how that makes us feel, and little things they can do to more intentionally create their Black characters. There's more to us than adding to a diversity quota.

2. "So you aren't even a professional?"

I got 28 years of being a Black person on my resume 🤣 jokes aside, I am a self teaching artist. It's only been about a year and a half for me. My more specific goal here is to use my skills to convey a perspective change towards Blackness, not necessarily a "how to do". If you want to learn the specific how-to's of drawing Black characters, there are Black artists all over Tumblr and the web that can show you! I will always actively encourage you to go check them out and support them, it's a great way to learn as well as to support our community!

3. "But if you're not a professional, why should I trust you?"

Well, again, because I don't have to be a professional to recognize when supposedly Black characters... Don't look like me 😅. Or, in writing, don't have any thought about me behind them. I could show my 88 year old Grandma some art and she'd recognize the issues.

But also, I personally believe that if you start from the foundations thinking about intentionally creating your Black characters, it'll make it much easier for you moving into the future. I am holding my hand out as a Black peer to HELP YOU! There are professional video games and art pieces and projects out there with poorly designed Black characters. The concept clearly needs to be introduced to the people somewhere before a million dollar project is release 🤣 But I can't talk to the people at the AAA studios. I can talk to you!

4. "I don't think race matters/should matter."

Alas, it does, everything we do is affected by our beliefs unconsciously or not- but I'm not going to waste my time and argue with you. This blog isn't for you 🤷🏾‍♀️ this blog is for those who want to take that first step to be better, both as creators and as people. 👍🏾

5. "Do you support AI?"

Not in the arts. Learn how to create, it's very fulfilling.

6. "Do you answer asks?"

I do! However, this is a lesson based page, more than an ask based page. If I think your ask can be answered by one of my lessons, I'll refer you to that lesson. If it's an ask that's relevant to something coming up, I will answer it, but you will find more detail in the lesson coming up! I'm only one person doing this, and I can't answer every singular scenario. Also, keep in mind, if you ask me my opinion on something, I will be fair, but honest!

7. Will you be turning on anons?

Okay: right now, we've earned Anon Office Hours Wednesday 12:30pm thru Friday 6:30pm EST!

Most of this is due to the nature of what I'm discussing. Historically, these topics (and how race is relevant) upset some people, and it can get unsafe. Personally, I have no intention of allowing racists, or those who will take my advice in bad faith, to hide their faces. If you want to hate me, speak with your chest 😤👍🏾

The other part is that it is not a bad thing to ask questions! I did create this blog to be a learning opportunity. So long as you are kind to me and send me asks in good faith, I will be kind to you and reply in good faith. I'm also pretty sure I have the option to answer privately, so if you don't want your question posted publicly, You can say that.

If I get more questions, I'll update this!

[yansimstorythatiwillnotworkon]

Bea Gemron

Name: Bea Gemron

Gender: Female

Class: 1-2

Club: None

Persona: Phone Addict

Reputation:

Overall: +6

Liked: -30

Respected: -50

Fear: +100

Crush: None

Strength: Incapable

Likes: Animals, School, Gossip, Memes, Family

Dislikes: Justice, Music, Anime, Socializing, Money

__

Bea is another one of my longest-lasting OCs from so long ago. She was on the same level of importance as Colleen and Amise and would likely make some pretty big changes to the story. This is because I imagined Bea able to be both a secure ally or enemy depending on Ayano's actions.

I don't have the entirety of the story planned out, and really just have some rough drafts of the main events in each week, so I'm not sure when exactly I'll decide that Bea will be an "important character" and make whatever changes I have planned for her.

__

The text in the pictures read:

1. Bea is known for being a pain in the ass. She usually casually insults people in any situation. Greetings, departures, such and such. No matter the event, she speaks so casually that it either flies over the heads of her peers or they're too used to it to care.

2. She seems pretty good with computers, and spends most of her time on her phone and other electronics.

3. Thanks to her computer skills and love for gossip, she's great at spreading information (and even misinformation if need be).

4. She'd like to start her own talk show or something of the sort in order to spread news and announcements in a fun way. She tried to use the past newspaper club as a reason to start her own "talk show" but the guidance counselor didn't trust that Bea wouldn't bully her peers with that new access.

5. Bea often leaves her motives and goals ambiguous, so whenever she finds out someone's "dark secret", that person remains on edge simply because they don't know what she'll do or why.

Kokoro Momoiro: Kokoro and Bea have known each other since middle school. Bea was Kokoro's very first friend and remained as such to this day. Bea was really good at making sure Kokoro didn't do stupid things. Whenever she did anything remotely embarrassing, Bea made sure to react in an intense manner so that Kokoro felt too ashamed to so it again.

Midori Gurin: Bea likes making stupid conspiracy theories about Midori due to Midoru refusing to say why she has her scar, amongst other things. Since Midoru is already pretty weird, most of the students either believe what Bea says or ignores both of them collectively since they're both weird. When students ask Midori about Bea's claims, she usually answers ambiguously.

Maka Tansei: Bea likes testing out Maka's artistic talent by requesting she draw weird or unique things. Sometimes, Bea puts her art on the walls of the hallways, which honestly just makes the students feel unnerved.

[slushie-slam]

*asks you about your daarin lore aggressively*

YAAAAYYY

warning: my writing. it’s bad

•On the final day of the Termina Festival, Karin is shot and killed by Needles. This places Daan into essentially the same position as with Elise before, and he’s moved to try performing magna medicinal again (it works this time!!!) He amputates his right leg and brings Karin back.

•Thanks to shock Daan isn’t very phased when Karin drags him back to the train. Karin’s also in shock from being revived. The two wait the final day of the Festival out.

•I don’t think it’s ever mentioned exactly where the train returns the surviving contestants to, but I imagine Daan and Karin end up in Rondon. Their first stop is a hospital, where Daan is taken into emergency surgery and doctors stabilize Karin.

•Post-recovery, Karin bids an abrupt farewell to Daan, intent on returning to Bremen to cover the events of Prehevil and Kaiser’s operations. Daan intends to stay in Rondon, but can’t go back to his in-law’s home as it’s being investigated on account of Elise’s murder. His possessions are moved out of the von Dutch manor. (I need to think harder about why Daan isn’t instantly implicated in her murder like why does he get off scot free LOL)

•Also, I don’t think Karin and Daan would click immediately since they knew each other for like 3 days but reviving somebody in exchange for a limb would probably form an unshakeable need to see each other again in both of them lol

•So they spend some months apart. Karin works in Bremen, writing for the Midnight Gazette by day and doing solo research by night. After being fitted with a prosthetic, Daan settles back down in Rondon and tries to get by as he contends with the fact he’s hit a dead end in figuring out what happened with Elise and his father in law.

•Karin returns to work and assures her family she’s well, but otherwise drowns herself in her investigative work. It’s obvious to her peers she’s not okay and her family doesn’t hear from her much. She works herself to the bone until she’s put on leave from the Midnight Gazette for her own well-being.

•Daan leverages his connections to his ex-father in law and secures himself an apartment above a restaurant with a connected bar. He pursues a medical apprenticeship for a while under one of the Baron’s peers, but practicing medicine brings up traumatic memories regularly. Compounded with The Cat, he’s being mentally worn down.

•The two reunite at their lowest points since leaving Prehevil: Karin is pissed she’s been put on leave, packs her things and takes the first train to Rondon, wanting to shake that feeling of needing to see Daan again (this pisses her off too LOOOL). Daan wastes away in his apartment as he’s quit his apprenticeship. Karin has to ask around to find out where Daan lives now (it’s no issue for her with her journalistic skills). Honestly I need to work on a better avenue into them reuniting 💀

•When Karin shows up at Daan’s doorstep they have a long conversation about what went down at Prehevil. Everything hits them all at once because they had otherwise been silent on the matter for so long. (I want to draw this eventually haha)

•Daan and Karin form a reliance on one another (even though they act like that’s not what it is). Karin ends up moving in with Daan while working on consolidating information for her investigative publication (like the point in an essay where you’ve got the mind vomit on the pages but have to make it make sense). I think she’d want to put distance between herself and her family for as long as possible while the Gazette has essentially “let her go” for the time being. Karin’s too proud for them to find out that she’s been put on leave, and her brothers worry a lot for her.

•Daan decides to take up bartending at the bar connected to the lower floor of his flat. He sticks with this over medicine, since he actually enjoys it, and works pretty much every night to keep his mind off The Horrors.

•Karin takes the opportunity to assess what information she’s got on Prehevil and what she has yet to uncover. I imagine she’d take regular train trips to and from the sites she visits for her research, disappearing for days at a time.

•Karin never fully sheds her steely exterior but definitely softens up the more time she spends with Daan.

•Daan, at first, rarely speaks about Elise or his history with the Baron. Eventually he’d open up to Karin about this fully but it takes a lot of work to get there.

• As for Daan dealing with Pocketcat, the latter would probably find Daan not worth the effort as he begins finding purpose in life again (is this lore accurate does the cat get tired of playing chase). He’s not enough of a trodden-down soul anymore to make a suitable host. Pocketcat would move onto other targets but it’s a LONG JOURNEY to the point where the cat fucks off.

•Overall Daan and Karin are able to live some semblance of a normal life but have to work really hard on themselves to get there. I do also wonder if Karin would get her exposé out to the public without going mad and/or being taken out by some kind of government operative. Anyways I REAAAALLLY want to develop my Daarin lore into like a well-mapped timeline 💔 💔 💔

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IT’S SO FUCKED UP

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[zeondraws]

I may be blind and have not tried to explore all the file locations in fmodel until now.

Found where the map textures are located, or for example all the people that died like Jamie, Kelly and all. I finally got a good look at Kelly!

This here be Kelly

Poor bastard

Okay, with this in mind I'll go through all folders in fmodel at some point, I have to see what else I can find. Found some unused/to be deleted folders which I found interesting

Hhmmm yes

So much work ahead, it really eats away my time, I've noticed, couldn't finish artworks recently. Mostly tried to work on that one AU drawing to have it almost done. But all this research eats my time which results in less time for art. Then I watch everyone else draw so much and I sit there thinking, man..

When I listen to soundfiles I can't draw at the same time since I need to stay focused on the sounds. However I managed to listen through 2k yesterday. I really really wanna be sure I have all the sounds for the Muir video, I literally found a different version of a perch howl yesterday! That one was not inside the actual Muir folder.

raaaah, the lore thickens. This could mean I can stumble upon other soundfiles from Muir that aren't in his Puppet folder. I only have... 16000 files to go through now. Number is getting smaller (I managed to listen to over 8.000 now).

If anyone ever wonders if I'll make a video of the soundfiles of other Puppets... maybe.. but I'd have to sort all these darn soundfiles from the Media folder. It's probably why people before me didn't bother at all. It took me over 2h and 30min to listen to 2000 files. Now calculate how much I need for 16000

Hhhmmm forbidden gummi, these are from Roper-

But hm, I currently want to finish that one artwork, then I need to sit down and draw something for a friend of mine for Secret Santa. Want to finish this Muir video before the year ends (I want to see it finished soooo badly). And maybe continue that super detailed Muir painting I had to put on hold, due to moving. The one I mean is shown on my pinned post here, that already took days to make and I'm not even halfway done with it. I want to see how far I can push my render skills atm.

Oh and draw a bunch of buses again, but on paper to get better with traditional art.

I always had problems managing my time (nothing new for me, so don't be confused if I do 6273728 things at once XD), tho I probably will figure out how to deal with this at some point. I always got yelled at, at my old workplace for taking too long on things, even tho my coworker kept giving me new tasks to work on so I couldn't finish the first thing he wanted, so he became more angry at me if I spend 3 weeks on something. Or spend 3 days on a task he usually finishes in 1 day, like. What? Like, he became soooo weird about it, that he tried to be angry about anythiiiing. And then he got confused when he heard what I told other coworkers in private. When he said that, I got flashbacks to my other uncle being angry that I told teachers how bad I felt mentally (at school). This is so confusing

I got praised for my work in the new job, which is wild that they don't expect me to work like a machine but to take my time. People aren't so focused on speed here.

So I don't know if my way of working on things is super bad, or if it's just dunno, big projects require so much energy and time. And then I watch everyone do so much art and I'm like waaaaiiit I wanna draw too Aaaaaaa. I wish I could eat art, because I frkn love art so much I shake my fists in the air whenever I see gorgeous artworks from others. Or see some absolutely stunning moviessssss.

I need to buy frames- I need to hang some drawings.

Okay Fellas, imma go tidy up my apartment and sort some stuff. I still have something to do in my bathroom.

busbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbusbbusbusbusbusbusbus

[frogsmulder]

What Will Become of Us?

Janeway/Chakotay on new earth; rated e; 2k words

Chapter 2/3 - Read on ao3

The next night, under the light of the stars, Kathryn sinks into her tub of steaming hot water, washing away the aches of a day's hard labour. They were still mending odd ends from the storm, but things were slowly coming together. Chakotay had even started sanding down the headboards again. She had started digging out plots to grow vegetables not too far from where he had set up his work bench. It was an ideal spot, partly covered by the shade of the trees to the left, enough light to the right, far enough from the cabin but most importantly, close enough still to watch Chakotay work. 

The water sloshes as she scoops up handfuls to pour it over her shoulders. Kathryn sinks a little further into the tub and laughs to herself. Yesterday, she would have stolen quick glances in Chakotay's direction, discreetly watching him work while admiring his skill. Today she openly teased him, gazing at the deft movement of his arms and shoulders working out the imperfections of the wooden surface. All day, he had smirked back at her, making her blush. 

“You're staring, Kathryn.”

“Nonsense, I was just seeing how you were getting on.”

“Why? See something you like?”

She bites back a smile and looks to the heavens, wondering if the rest of her life would be spent flirting with him so freely. The heat that pulses through her is invigorating–makes her feel alive in ways she thought she had forgotten. She soaks in the feeling as thoughts turn to fantasies. Memories of the softness of his lips from the night before awoke within her an ardent need and those memories shift to dreams of tonight. She brings her wet fingers to the edge of her lips, daring to trace their previous encounter. A smile grows against her fingertips. 

A waft of warm spices from the cabin snaps Kathryn from her girlish indulgence. She retracts her fingers from her lips and clenches them into a fist, shook by her own preoccupation. Stepping out of the bath and drying off, she dresses in her silk nightgown and bundles her hair in a towel upon her head. The smell of dinner and the sizzling of frying vegetables draws her into the cabin. There at the small makeshift stove, Chakotay is skilfully tending the skillet. She comes up behind him, laying a hand around his arm and peering in tip toes over his shoulder. She hums, “Something smells delicious.”

He turns to look at her eyes subtly dancing over her curves wrapped in pink silk. Dipping his head slightly, his nose tickles the hair escaping the towel at the top of her head, the smell of her sweet soap lingering there. “Something does.”

Chuckling, she tears herself away to sit up on the table and unrolls the towel, using it to rub dry the ends of her hair. “You know, I think I could get used to this little arrangement of ours: you cooking while I take a soak. It's certainly not the retirement I expected but… I think I'm going to enjoy it nonetheless.”

He stops and shakes his head. 

The thought of her retiring is as alien as anything they've ever encountered. He taps the wooden spoon off on the side of the pan. Slowly, he turns around, stepping up to her with a determined look in his eye. “Arrangement?” He places one hand on the table next to her hip. “Is that what you are calling my generous offer to cook for you?” His other hand comes down on the other side. 

His face is inches from hers. A culmination of a day's worth of teasing boundaries clearly showing their effects on him, his gaze not straying from her lips. She rolls her eyes at his playful demonstration, deciding not to give into his seductions just yet despite their fast effects on her. “I could subject you to my cooking again if you wish–” she waves him off– “but trust me, this is better for both of us.”

He licks his lip and turns his head. “What's a man to do to get a little gratitude around here?”

“Oh, I am grateful,” she murmurs, her palm finding its place against his chest. His smile grows hard to hide and she leans in sharing his mirth. 

Chakotay’s hands slide up her back, callouses from hard labour tickling the bare skin of her shoulders. He draws circles around her skin, fingers slipping under the strap of her gown. 

“Kathryn.” His whisper is irreverent. 

“Yes.”

The silk slips easily from her shoulder. Her breath hitches quietly as she lets him slowly undress her of her nightgown, tearing away at the lasting rubble of her emotional walls. Eyes locked with his, she encourages him, digging her fingers into his chest, scrunching his shirt in her fist. Two fingers under her chin, he steadies himself as he leans in, delicately capturing her lips. Intentions clear with this first contact, Kathryn presses forward, opening herself to a new world of sensation, taste and touch flooding her senses. She fists his shirt tighter, pulling in closer, needing more. Running her other hand round to the nape of his neck, she fingers through the short tufts of his hair. She can't get enough as she deepens the kiss, whimpering, finally knowing the taste of his tongue.

Chakotay hums, his movements still relaxed. His fingers slip down her throat and over her clavicle, bringing down the top of her silk neckline. He kisses down her neck, words vibrating against her skin, “Kathryn–” his fingers tease the tops of her breasts, rising and falling rapidly with her growing anticipation– “Let me show you my gratitude.” Light fingertips dance all the way down her body, and casually grabbing her hips, fingers digging in, he brings her forward.

He lifts the hem of the gown up her thighs and she impatiently rolls her hips forward. “Please, Chakotay.” 

When his fingers find her sex, his touch is generous, teasing her entrance, skating her arousal up to her clit, playing and spreading and diving back in. She groans in the agony of ecstasy as he works her close to the edge, two fingers curled inside her and a thumb drawing loose circles around her clit. 

Fingers still wrapped in his hair, she tugs him in for a searing kiss, needing the reassurance of his lips that this is real. Her dreams no longer the cruel trickster, she licks at the prominent arch of his cupid's bow, takes his bottom lip between her teeth, begs him with her tongue. She palms him through his pants feeling him twitch and grow, and fumbles with the fastening. He chuckles at her fervour and she laughs too; only yesterday was she tossing and turning with conflicting feelings and now she is completely engrossed by him, his smell, his touch, his smile, those eyes. She never wants to leave the gaze of those adoring eyes. 

As soon as she slips his pants off his hips, she reaches for his dick, coaxing him with long, languid strokes. He gasps and breaks their kiss, falling forward to pit his forehead against hers. He grunts as explores his length and brings him closer with a grab of his ass. She brings him to her cunt and closes her eyes as she guides him in, a moan strangled in her throat at the building pressure. 

Everything else in the universe dims and mutes. All there is left is Chakotay; his hands cradling her face, stroking back her hair while he waits for her approval. Reaching up to cup his cheeks, she gives a small nod and kisses him before she can lose herself in those deep brown eyes. 

Slowly, he begins to move, encouraged by her breathy little moans. Panting, he drops his head to her shoulder and she clings to his back scraping over the material of his shirt. His caress uncovers her nightgown, the soft silk shifting over his hands as they roam. Touch still gentle, he brings her legs up higher over his hips, thrusting deeper. Kathryn gasps, moans growing louder. Overcome with the insatiable need for his closeness, she arches into him. 

That familiar well of pleasure slowly creeps up on her; a feeling of deep fullness growing hotter until suddenly it bursts within her and she's clutching, grasping, moaning his name. He mumbles hers over and over against her shoulder, breath tickling her skin in hot bursts, his movements now quick and frantic. She holds him tightly as she feels him come, slumping against her. 

Their heavy breaths fill the small space and Kathryn smiles in the quiet of the moment. In that quiet the universe made sense: nothing could touch them, like they were outside time itself. She brushes her fingers through his hair and rests her head next to his. He places small kisses along her neck until he stands up in front of her once more, grinning ear to ear, somehow still shyly despite what they have just done. She reaches out one thumb to his dimple, stroking affectionately, mirroring his content. 

The corners of her mouth twitch from an upturned smile, slowly falling with a sobering realisation. Chakotay's eyes dart back and forth between hers, trying desperately to read her expression. 

“Do you smell burning?”

His eyes go wide. “Oh, shit!”

Stumbling over to the stove, he quickly turns off the heat and removes the pan, softly cursing under his breath. From behind, she can see him wiping his brow, despairing as to what to do. 

Kathryn laughs. The simplicity of everything so different to how she imagined things would go wrong if she opened herself up to a relationship. 

“What's so funny?” he inquires with just a hint of a bite as he pulls up his pants. 

“Maybe–” she laughs again. 

He looks around from the stove to the pan of charred vegetables, from the fastening of where he held his pants, finally to her. She can feel the heat rise to her cheeks but he doesn't look away, instead he drinks in her dishevelled look. Her gown is still hiked up around her waist, the neckline still stretched down, and the feeling of satisfaction still warms her belly, along with a burgeoning hunger for more. 

“Maybe it's a good thing we never did this on Voyager.”

His smile is small and weak. “Maybe,” he concedes. 

Her stomach drops. She thought they had both wanted this, that he was the one that put the ball in her court. Did she miss something? Is that the colour of regret upon his cheeks? Suddenly the mess he has left her in bothers her; the stickiness between her thighs is a clawing reminder of the happiness she thought was possible. 

He looks to the floor. “I'm sorry, Kathryn.” It's halfway between a whisper and a choked sob. 

Standing up, she straightens herself out, ignoring her own emotions, approaching cautiously. She reaches out to put a hand over his heart, looking up to see his eyes, curved with a sorrow she hasn't seen before. 

“Voyager…” he murmurs and takes her hand. “I miss them too.”

As quickly as her heart had fallen, hope now sores in its place. She rests her head against his chest, offering her comfort. He has been so bright and optimistic these past months, encouraging her to let go that she has thought she was alone in her grief.

She listens to the steady beat of his heart, guiding her through memories of him next to her always, on the bridge, in her ready room, in her quarters–even sickbay. But always the family of their crew was never far away. And now the two of them are alone in the emptiness of a makeshift home. 

Standing up on tiptoes, Kathryn presses a kiss to Chakotay’s cheek. “We have each other.”