#this is why i love this fight scene so much there is so much meaning behind everything they say i could analyse it for eternity

[fire-in-my-woods]

So often in media, when abuse is talked about, the little boys in the household are shown to be combative - the "protector" of the family (an utterly depraved and insane idea). What makes Simon's younger self portrayal so special to me is that he's none of these things as a child. He was scared, timid, because he was just a kid in a horrifying situation. Being a male should not strip you of the right to involuntary responses that come with being abused.

This is not to say that the former example does not exist in the real world, because it very much does - it's just usually the only example of a young boy in an abusive household. Though the themes itself are not pleasant, I am incredibly happy to see representation of the quote-on-quote "softer" side of men who faced abuse growing up.

[the-writerwoman]

Happy holidays 🎅🏻🎄🎁☃️ I bring you the gift of angst!

Another 4am brainrot as my baby kept me up most of the night.

In this one, Logan and Wade fight against a mutant, not knowing that they can go through time and send people through time. Logan ends up getting sent back in time. To 2016, but he doesn’t know it until he tries to regroup at Sister Margaret’s and Weasel doesn’t know who he is. He waits for Wade anyway, but instead of the red leather clad weirdo he was used to, in walked the unblemished, full head of haired mercenary. Before he met Vanessa, before he got his cancer diagnosis. Logan was in trouble. Especially when Wade finds out that Logan is the very wolverine he’d admired as a kid, and he declares them soulmates and tries to chase after him and if Logan’s not careful, then the whole of Wade’s future could be changed.

This scene is after Wade finds out Logan is from the future, and what the consequences could be if the future was changed.

Hope you enjoy!

——————————

The tension in the room was suffocating as Logan stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists. Wade’s chest felt tight as he waited for Logan to say something, anything, that could make sense of the situation.

“I don’t know,” Logan said finally, his voice raw. “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. The timeline is delicate, Wade. If you decide not to go through with the program, or if you don’t fall in love with Vanessa when you’re supposed to, everything changes. Everything goes wrong.”

Wade frowned, stepping closer, his voice low. “What does that mean, Logan? Why does it all matter so much? I don’t even know a Vanessa.”

Logan hesitated, the pain in his eyes evident as he looked at Wade. “Because if you don’t become who you’re meant to be, you won’t be the man who saves me. You won’t pull me out of my universe when it matters most. And if that doesn’t happen…”

Logan’s voice cracked, and he looked away, his hands curling into fists. “Then I stay in my world.”

Wade tilted his head, his chest aching at the sight of Logan’s visible anguish. “What’s so bad about staying in your world?”

Logan let out a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging under the weight of the question. “If I stay in my world… I spend the rest of my life hated. Hunted. Spat on. I’ve worked on it. I know I’m not to blame, but in my world, the X-Men were attacked while I wasn’t there. I came back to find them all… gone.”

Wade’s heart sank, his breath catching as Logan’s voice broke.

“Jean, Scott… even the kids,” Logan continued, his voice trembling. “All of them. Dead. And I wasn’t there to stop it.”

Wade’s stomach twisted painfully as Logan paused, swallowing hard.

“I lost it,” Logan admitted, his voice thick with guilt. “The rage took over, and I… I killed people. People who didn’t deserve it. I let it consume me.” His shoulders shook slightly, and when he looked back at Wade, there were tears glistening in his eyes. “It doesn’t matter how much time passes. I’ll always be the man who let them die.”

Wade couldn’t take it anymore. He crossed the room in two strides and pulled Logan into a hug. Logan froze for a moment, his breath catching, before his arms wrapped tightly around Wade. He clung to him as if Wade were the only thing holding him together, his breaths shaky against Wade’s neck.

“It’s not your fault,” Wade murmured, his voice soft but firm. “None of it is your fault, Logan.”

Logan didn’t say anything, but the way his grip tightened spoke volumes. Wade held him closer, his own chest aching at the thought of this version of Logan, so broken, so weighed down by guilt and grief.

After a while, Wade gently pulled back, his hands resting on Logan’s shoulders. He tilted his head, pressing a soft kiss to Logan’s temple, a quiet, comforting gesture. Logan closed his eyes at the contact, his breathing still uneven.

Wade’s lips hovered for a moment before he shifted, catching Logan’s lips in a soft, tentative kiss. It was gentle at first, a question rather than a demand. Logan didn’t pull away, but he didn’t respond either, as if he were frozen in place.

When Wade pressed again, Logan responded tentatively, then with more certainty. His hands found Wade’s waist, grounding himself in the moment. For a fleeting moment, everything felt right.

But then Logan pulled back with a sharp breath, his eyes wide. “We can’t,” he said, his voice strained.

Wade blinked, his heart pounding. “Why not?”

Logan shook his head, though his hands didn’t leave Wade’s waist. “Because… if we do this, if I let this happen, it could ruin everything. The timeline, the future, it’s too risky.”

Wade’s jaw tightened, and he reached up to cup Logan’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze. “Logan, listen to me. I’ll do it. Everything I’m supposed to. The program, the torture, hell, I’ll even fall in love with this Vanessa when the time comes, if that’s what it takes. But don’t push me away. Not now. Not when I have you right here.”

Logan looked at him, his resolve visibly crumbling. “Wade…”

“Please,” Wade whispered, his voice trembling. “If this is all we get, if this is all we’re allowed, then let us have it. Just this once.”

Logan closed his eyes, his jaw clenching. Wade didn’t give him time to argue. He leaned in again, capturing Logan’s lips in another kiss, more desperate this time. Logan groaned softly, his hands gripping Wade’s waist as he finally gave in.

[secriden]

Watching Joong's Hurt Me Please MV with the context of how episode 6 ended and how this is likely a song about Fadel's thoughts and feelings about Style after Finding Out, I wanted to take a deeper look at the lyrics.

I have transcribed the English lyrics on Youtube side by side with a fan translated version (credit: bl_zonee on Twitter) just because there's different shades of meaning between them that I find really interesting and I'm curious which one is the more accurate translation or if both are valid, but just give different nuance. (Perhaps a mutual who understands Thai would be willing to give some insight? *u*)

Verse 1 makes a lot of sense to me: Fadel must be wondering how Style could be so cruel ("unkind" / "heartless") because every instance of Style being honest and asking for honesty in return, all of Style's genuine desperation to bare his heart to Fadel in episode 5 and 6, now looks like a calculated, cruel deception.

And after being so afraid to reveal his secret to Style for fear that it would make Style walk away from him, there's a painful irony in Fadel now wishing Style had walked away before. Because the betrayal hurts so much more now that Fadel has given in to his heart.

The chorus is where the nuance between the translations gets interesting.

The Youtube version seems almost like a Fadel is taunting Style, putting up a front that he can take the pain Style is dishing out and more.

The MV also depicts Style smiling sadistically after slapping Fadel, as if he's enjoying the pain he's inflicting. Meanwhile, Fadel looks up almost in adoration, a strange softness in his eyes at odds with how cruelly he's being treated. The knowledge of Style's betrayal has turned Style into a monster in Fadel's mind, one which he cannot help but to still have soft, affectionate feelings.

But the fan translation sounds much more hurt and accusatory. Fadel is expressing his pain and anguish much more plainly and "you did this to me" is a line that demands responsibility.

In both translations, though, the last line ("can't get enough" / "enjoying the pain") gives us a hint that Fadel isn't willing to give Style up even now. Despite the pain, despite feeling as if he's simultaneously burning up and drowning, there's a part of him that still wants this. That still wants Style.

Interestingly, as Fadel sings the last line he begins to visibly struggle against the rope tying him to the chair. The soft look vanishes and in place is a determination and shadow that spells trouble for Style. The shock is wearing off and Fadel is starting to fight back.

Verse 2 is where the agony really hits, for me.

In both versions, Fadel recognises the way Style's love was (maybe still is?) precious to him ("your love feeds my soul" / "your love nourished my heart"). But because Style's love is a lie, it's transformed into a weapon ("poison"). It twists Style's love into a source of "hurt" to Fadel.

Which is why I think both versions have a line where Fadel admits that there's a part of him that wants Style to keep hurting him -- or rather, to keep loving him; because these are the same thing to Fadel now -- ("hurt me, make me feel used" / "the more I was hurt the more I enjoyed it") whilst also remaining accusatory (both: "the more I loved, the more sorrow/I suffered").

The lines about "nothing left to write about our love" / "our story" also feel very pointed and final. A closing of a chapter; a closing of the possibility of their former, uncomplicated happily ever after. Style has nothing left to write (report) back to his superiors (the police) because Fadel's love is already complete and his deception has reached the inevitable conclusion of Fadel being found out/destroyed.

All this happens while we see Style continuing to threaten Fadel with a golf club juxtaposed with flashes of Fadel and Style in much happier times.

Also the fact that this line comes with this scene *sobs uncontrollably):

The first chorus comes back once and the music reaches a plateau. We are clearly preparing for a drop, a key change, or a modulation and we get exactly the last one (twice!) with the second chorus:

Here, both versions converge: Fadel is angry, he's furious. Style hurt him and he's going to repay all of it and more ("you'll hurt [by much more]" / "you must suffer more than I did"). The lyrics tell us that, while Fadel cannot take back the hurt (take back his love), he can certainly ensure he isn't alone in the suffering.

It is at this part where my heart sank as I realised that Fadel's "I think I love you" line in episode 6 now takes on a much more sinister tone.

Because I think that discovering Style's betrayal was also what made Fadel realise the truth of his love for Style; the very agony he was in was the sign that Fadel's heart was lost to him. But even as it is true, I also think he still made the choice to ruin Style in the same breath.

There is, however, one piece of hope:

Despite Fadel's expressed fury, what the MV shows us is Fadel breaking out of his bonds, shoving Style back and punching him once and then:

For all his anger, for all his rage, for all his threats of manifold vengeance, what we see is Fadel pressing close and kissing Style; once on the lips, and once on his chest (heart), all while the lyrics makes space for one last plea:

("don't betray me")

For me, its the way the line is shown together with this direct visual parallel between the ignorant Fadel in the past (left) and the Fadel of the present who has seen through Style's deception (right) that I find particularly compelling.

Conclusion: Style will be given a chance to prove himself to Fadel.

Because Fadel cannot help himself. Because Style made Fadel's bleeding heart whole again; and it beats, it feels, and despite how much it hurts, what Fadel still wants more than anything else in the world -- desperately and simply -- is Style.

[cigsaftersuh]

૮ a little hope ྀིა .ᐟ

prev 𐙚 next

ㅡ my youth, your kitchen.

the bus ride is quieter than you expected, the occasional sound of conversations blending with the echo of the engine.

you're seated between renjun and jeno, your bag of groceries resting on your lap. jaemin, on the other side of jeno, is fiddling with his phone, half-listening to whatever conversation is unfolding.

renjun leans closer to glance at the list in your hand, his brow furrowing. “we really didn’t need this much marshmallows,” he mutters.

“you’re the one who grabbed the jumbo bag,” you reply, nudging him lightly.

“because you said, ‘go big or go home,’” renjun shoots back, his lips twitching in amusement.

jeno chuckles softly, catching the exchange. “i mean, you guys are set for a camping trip with that much.”

“and a really sugar high night,” jaemin adds, glancing up his phone.

“exactly,” you say, adjusting the bag of marshmallows on your lap. “besides, we’ve got chocolate strawberries to balance it out.”

“because that’s so much healthier,” renjun says, rolling his eyes, though he doesn’t argue further.

jeno smiles at the dynamic, but he doesn’t say much more. instead, his gaze lingers on you for a moment before turning to the front of the bus.

the warmth of the ride and the day’s events start to catch up with you. the soft vibration of the engine feels almost hypnotic, and before you know it, your eyelids grow heavier. you fight it for a bit, but your head dips slightly, making you straighten up quickly.

jeno notices immediately. “tired?” he asks, keeping his voice low.

you nod, stifling a yawn. “a little. it’s been a long day.”

he hesitates, shifting in his seat slightly, as though he’s about to offer his shoulder. but before he can move or say anything, renjun speaks up.

“don’t fall over trying to stay awake,” renjun says simply, tilting his shoulder toward you.

you start to protest, but renjun is already moving. with a gentle hand, he adjusts your head so it rests on his shoulder. “there,” he says, his tone nonchalant, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

you blink at him but don’t argue, "mmm, thanks," you mumbled drowsily, your voice soft as your head rested against renjun’s shoulder. his jacket warm and familiar, making it easy to relax.

jeno leans back in his seat, his jaw tightening slightly as he watches the scene. there’s nothing inherently unusual about it — it’s just renjun being renjun. but still, he can’t help but feel a pang of something he doesn’t quite understand.

jaemin glances up from his phone, eyes flicking between jeno and you before landing on renjun. “you good, jeno?”

jeno clears his throat, looking out the window. “why wouldn’t i be,” he says quickly.

jaemin raises a brow but doesn’t press further, smirking faintly to himself as he goes back to his phone.

jeno mentally clicked his tongue and glanced away, pretending the scene didn’t bother him. it wasn’t like he had any reason to feel this way, you and he barely knew each other.

from where he sat, it was hard not to assume there was something more between you and renjun. the way renjun had effortlessly moved your head onto his shoulder, how you didn’t hesitate to lean into him. it all felt too natural to be just friendship.

still, jeno reasoned, he would know if renjun were dating someone. he knew renjun wasn’t the type to keep something like that a secret.

with that thought, he refused to let the hope of you and him die out entirely. it never hurt to have a little hope.

with love,

© cigsaftersuh

ʚ taglist - open ɞ

@t-102 @niniiflwr @dudekiss3r @defzcl @stqrgr7 @imalwaysjeno @jeongjaeleftbicep @rubiiisyeon @jae10velies @cookydream @222low @dearlyminhyung @mmjhh1998 @gukuwii @hyucksunset @chenlesfeetpic @urlocalbeaner5 @taeeflwrr @fullhyucksunny @hyuksworld @nmmsmari @jeonghansshitester

[add1ctedt0you]

What a plot twist you were. [x]

[loonvann]

I JUST NOTICED SOMETHING! in the Loumand fighting scene when Louis says "is he gonna lick my boots or chop my hands off?" do you think he's aware that Armand chopped off Nicki's hands? maybe he's even referencing it???

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭

they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃

[hauntingblue]

One thing oden and ace teach us is that bad bitches go early so you can understand how worried I am for nami....

[sskk-manifesto]

(*・ω・*)b♪

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

[phantajam]

my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)

[cerealbishh]

"I can't leave, Maria."

"... I understand."

[ikosburneraccount]

sorry for spamming the tlc tag. but im not done yet

please rb and explain why. ill go first

[crownedwille]

if young royals season 2 has a million fans i'm one of them. if young royals season 2 has ten fans, then i am one of them. if young royals season 2 has only one fan then that is me. if young royals season 2 has no fans, then that means i am no longer on earth. if the world is against young royals season 2 then i am against the world

[polarisbibliotheque]

Sorry, I saw one post and a half of yours and I'm already a fan.

I still have to scroll down your blog to see more about you, but I saw that two-post-long answer you made for an anon ask (btw, you have such poetic vibes :D your style made me smile, seriously) and I couldn't holf myself to ask:

Hm, have you ever heard of... I mean, "whump"?

If yes, what are your thouhts on it?

(you don't need to answer this, specially if it makes you unconfortable in any ways or anything else XD)

However, I hope you have a wonderful day/noon/afternoon/evening/night(?) !

Hello hello!! First things first, sorry for taking SO LONG to answer, I had a ton of health issues the last couple of months >.<

Secondly, thank you SO MUCH for being so kind!! I saw all your reblogs of that huge answer for such a tiny thing I did and thank you. I'm really happy you like my style too, that makes me smile!

Now now, about your question on whump, I'm gonna be very honest, I had to Google it to make sure we're on the same page HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jokes aside, I know it's sort of a term for hurt/comfort fanfiction - but it's not really clear to me if it's a kink thing or not.

Because you see, if you're talking about hurt and comfort, I mean, that's basically what I write HAHAHAHA writing for the Devil May Cry fandom, inevitably someone will be hurt/tortured/mentally abused somehow.

Or impaled. A lot.

(I mean, that's all this bitch has done for the past 5 games)

And also there's the whole thing with Vergil, his twin brother, being kept as a slave in Hell for 20(?) years and coming back after dragging his crumbling body out of there to find out he has a son and being the peak of cluelessness in the Universe - and me being adamant he deserves love after all that.

So I guess everything I write has a LOT of hurt - and I even put some serious warnings before the fics, 'cause everyone is traumatized in this household - but despite of that, they still can find love, happiness and somewhat soothe all that pain and trauma.

(dramatic, real, horrible, but stil comforting xD)

As a kink, though, I don't enjoy it - and I also don't enjoy putting characters I love through pain and suffering just because. That's why I have a love/hate relationship with horror media: I LOVE horror, but I HATE exploitation.

Movies that have just people being abused, hurt, dismembered and all that kind of horrible stuff happening just because without a real reason to be on the plot - meaning, torture porn - just make my blood boil. And there's a lot of that in horror.

I like when things are more psychological and actually have a REASON to be there. So, in my writing, I'll never torture a character just for the pleasure of doing so and for the pleasure of the reader, I need a point out of it.

For instance, on my cyberpunk-style story, both main characters have gone through a terrible experience together and lost someone who was really dear to them. Both of them went through a lot of physical pain, lost some limbs and needed to install cyberprosthesis, and lost everything they had worked for til that point in their lives.

Horrible, yes. But they had to go through it so I could start the story: because of all of this, the guy made an anarchist/terrorist group and just wants to burn down the city along with the people in power who allowed all that to happen to him, while the woman becomes the best killer for hire so she can get enough money to live and, eventually, retire.

All that physical and psychological pain is a very important plot point and I can't take it away from the story, or else there's no story to begin with. Meanwhile, every time I'm writing I'm thinking "how can I make this as unpleasant as I can so the reader can understand the crushing feeling of all of this?" hahahahaha

That's why I'm not into pain kink - I respect everyone who is, but I can't do it, I feel no pleasure from it.

That's my opinion, I think. For pleasure's sake, I don't like it, but for plot, I really like it. I think it has a hopeful note to it - that even after the storm, the days will shine bright again, you just have to go on. That's what I enjoy from writing things like this, the hope.

Who would've known, I'm not 100% a bitter bitch hahaha

Reading my personal original stories, I think all of them have a painful background and many unpleasant scenes. But I like it, because it's human nature and how life is: bad things will happen, we can just try to make the good ones count even more :)

I hope that was a good answer to your question hahahaha

Thank you once again, and I hope you have a lovely week ahead!! Feel free to spend some time around and ask things if you'd like! ^^

[prodkeiji]

ep 9 is a lot to process uhm