#this is why i hate harry potter the war is so fucking stupid

[mielicy]

no bc if remus had written like a manifesto or smthn right after school instead of disappearing for months at a time w greybacks pack i bet they woulda won the war. like that would have solved everything. lupin writing.

[sitp-recs]

Hi! :)

Could you please do a funny/witty/bantery rec list?

Looking more so for writing tone, but dialogue would ofc also be okay!

Thank you so much x

Hi there! I have a reclist for witty!Draco, but here are some witty fics I really love. They are such fun reads I remember exactly which scenes made me laugh out loud. In terms of writing tone, 4 authors whose sense of humor always hit the mark for me are astolat, shiftylinguini, blamebrampton and iota. Enjoy!

Tense by Faith Wood (E, 3k)

Harry and Draco have sex. Very, very slowly. Seriously, this is, like, 3K of penetration.

Never Gonna Give You Up by InnerLilith (E, 5k)

Five times Harry rickrolls Draco and one time Draco gets him back.

Game On by @pennygalleon (T, 5k)

Draco blows Harry a kiss and the press goes nuts. Harry suggests they use this to their advantage.

Matched Set by astolat (E, 6k)

“No one asked you to look, did they?” Draco said, eyes glittering and intent on Harry’s face—like he’d just wiped off the years and turned back in time to when their greatest ambition in life had been to knock the other off his broom in front of the school and grab the Snitch first, before they’d both gone to war and come back with scars.

Up The by @shiftylinguini (E, 7k)

“I feel I need to point out,” Draco kissed gently over Harry’s Adam’s apple, “that this is the most Gryffindor approach to conception that could possibly exist.”

draco malfoy's substitute murder service by @oknowkiss (E, 10k)

When Harry joins the Curse Breakers shortly after his twenty-fifth birthday, he’s surprised to find himself assigned to the Department of Creatures, Cryptids, and Associated Calamities.

The Loathly Worm by Selden (E, 12k)

When Draco Malfoy is forced to go undercover among the remaining Death Eaters in the aftermath of the war, the last person he expects to find there is Harry Potter.

Party of Two by fireflavored (E, 13k)

Drinking, sex, and a total misreading of the concept of fuck buddies.

keep it down, orphaned (E, 13k)

Malfoy’s an inconsiderately loud roommate and Harry’s over it.

An Act of Kindness for One Harry Potter by a Sympathetic Draco Malfoy by 0idontknow0 (E, 15k)

As Draco leaned on the wall to wait for them to get dressed, he could not help feeling like he had done a very kind thing by disrupting them. Someone should give Potter a better rogering than that sorry sod had. The man had saved the bloody world—okay, mostly Europe—the least someone could do was give him a proper shag.

Stupid Love by @the-sinking-ship (E, 17k)

Harry Potter, how does Draco Malfoy hate thee? Let me count the ways.

Heartlines by @sorrybutblog (T, 22k)

Just as Draco Malfoy's life seems to be getting back on track, the magic at Malfoy Manor is spinning out of control. Auror partners Harry Potter and Angelina Johnson are assigned to the case and quickly find that nothing about the situation is obvious. The flare ups are unpredictable at best, downright dangerous at worst, and why has a Hogwarts first year gone missing at the same time?

Little Red Courgette by blamebrampton (T, 31k)

When this season's purple courgettes are woefully thin, Draco Malfoy thinks it amounts to small beans. Next thing he knows, the Department of Standards is over-run with leeks, Brussels sprouts all sorts of legislative difficulties, and somebody appears to have put a roquette under Harry Potter. Can Draco seize a marrow victory? Or will his plans for peas be squashed?

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (E, 36k)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Bite Me, Hate Memes by pir8fancier (E, 44k)

Draco Malfoy is incensed to realize that someone is trying to usurp his position as the premier Harry Potter hater.

Rookie Moves by peu_a_peu (E, 75k)

Aurors Potter and Malfoy crack the case.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (T, 103k)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

[kathrahender]

Me: I'm in a lot of fandoms! Avatar: The Last Airbender, Miraculous Ladybug, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Cobra Kai, Star Wars, Marvel, Harry Potter, and more!

X person: Oh! Really? What are your favorite ships of those fandoms?

Me: Zukaang, Zukka, Lukadrien, Klance, Lawrusso, Thranakin, Obimaul, Spideyflash, Parksborn, Drarry and Hedric!

X person: Wait- so you ship two men instead of the main straight canon couple? You hate women!

Me: What-? I literally also like femslash ships! And some straight ships and polyamorous straight/queer ships too! How is that hating women???

X person: No, don't say anything else. You're just a fucking misogynist. Period.

Me: ?????

Nah because imagine being so stupid that you think the reason why people dislike/hate some straight ships is because they hate women 💀 They're probably the same people who call you racist just because you hate a bad-written black character, claiming you hate them because they're black💀

[highonincense]

One thing I absolutely despise in drarry fics —and by this I mean a specific subset, not like in general cause there are many amazing fics— is the characterization of harry (and draco), the way he's an absolute fucking doormat!!!! I get it y'all are tryna portray him as a social dimwit, it can be done in a normal way without making him seem like a piece of cardboard! Are we talking about the same dude here?? You don't actually have to completely demolish a character, take away their key traits just to make the other half of the ship look better.

Let me give a pointwise description:

1. Dude stutters after every bloody sentence, like he's so overwhelmed talking to draco "smirking, smooth as butter, sardonic, sleek, godly" Malfoy who keeps insulting him every fucking second. Do you really think that harry would entertain that bullshit, especially in post-war fics!!! Like he'd just take it and not put him in his place?

2. I read this fic long ago and I don't remember the name, but good god it was unbearable. Basically the golden trio apologizes to draco for his tragic life that they were responsible for after the war? Like wtf? Why is there even a need to do that? 😭 That was too much and I stopped midway

3. Again, draco "3 OWLs" Malfoy, some supersmart / second coming of tom riddle, keeps patronizing every action of harry, the amount of times harry's intelligence is insulted? Immediate no from me, like are we still doing the whole "harry dumb mf potter is unobservant, slow, stupid, can't function without some rat hissing in his ear that he's an idiot 24/7"? Don't you think it's lame?

4. Harry has to always put up with his shitty attitude, I am all for character development, I know characters are multi dimensional and complex, and showing draco having a difficult personality is well and good, but it starts to get annoying when there's no real growth in him. I've read fics where he's absolutely despicable until the end which is covered up as him being a dickhead in general and harry "fondly" keeps up with his shit. *gag* canon harry would NEVER

5. I think it genuinely wouldn't make a difference if harry was there or not, I am not kidding or being dramatic, those fics might as well be character × y/n fics

All of this leads me to hate draco's character more! You portray him as this insufferable bastard who has a heart of gold apparently (where?) who has no real growth, shows no humility or regret or even pretends to and you think harry will put up with that?

It would be interesting if he starts out that way, works on himself and grows and changes, that would be more tolerable and interesting!

But no, he's always this annoying guy who hurls insults, keeps mocking harry or his friends every other line, you might argue it's in his character, but aren't those the traits which make him unlikeable? like those aren't cute or quirky? wouldn't it make more sense to show him grow out of it? It's really annoying

And harry, let's not go there, he's a completely new character, might as well be an oc atp, you can't even compare him to canon harry, that's how bad it is! I still haven't completely discussed it cause it's already getting long, but he's this wet bloody blanket and I can't stand it, the gryffs (except Hermione) in general are shown as some bumbling buffoons who can't differentiate between their hand and foot!! And the slytherins are all savvy, masterminds, geniuses... I really don't know whether it's admirable cause it's weird seeing them pushed into these moulds where they can only behave a certain way!

I'm so tired this is still going on like?? Why are their characters such caricatures? All of this sounds like it may have been a thing of past, but I am appalled it's still happening!!!

This is not directed at all drarry fics out there, cause there are some gorgeous fics written by amazing authors who fucking get these characters and make it about them, about their relationship and explore it in a depth and nail their characterizations without making either one of them boring. There are a good number of fics that I actually enjoy cause of the way they write drarry's characters, which makes or breaks the fic imho

[hd-wireless]

📻🎶 H/D WIRELESS 2024 - WEEKLY WRAP-UP #2

Welcome to our second wrap up of 2024!

Two weeks of posting have passed, and we have already revealed 19 absolute bangers for you, and there are plenty more hits still to come! Today we're not only thanking our creators but the readers as well!   🎉  Thank you all for being amazing!

As always you can listen to the prompted songs for the works we post on two playlists:

Click here for Spotify (many thanks to @evaeleanor for helping us out there) ❤️ And here for the YouTube playlist.

Please enjoy this week’s entries below the cut:

🎶 H/D Wireless Art 🎶

📻 MY FRIENDS SAY I SHOULDN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE [T, Digital Art ]

🎵 Song Prompt: bad idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo  🎵 Summary: Both Draco's and Harry's friends don't approve of their little... dalliance. But it's so hard to stay away from each other! Could this be a bit more than just casual?

📻 He Did IT! [Not Rated, Digital Art]

🎵 Song Prompt: No Body, No Crime by Taylor Swift  🎵 Summary: Harry: I think he did it but I just can't prove it, 'Mione!!  Hermione: And, what exactly did he do, Harry?  Harry: I-, I don't know! Something! He has to! It feels weird every time I look at him!!  Hermione: .....  Ron: ......  Ron: Mate...  Or, it's sixth year and Malfoy is definitely up to something! Why else would Harry's heart beat so fast every time the stupid git so much as looks at him!?!

🎶 H/D Wireless Fic 🎶

📻 Draco Malfoy’s Guide to Seduction (DISCLAIMER: not guaranteed to work on one HJ Potter) [M, 11,107 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Push the button' by 'Sugababes'  🎵 Summary: Harry's gorgeous. Draco wants him.  Draco's exasperatedly trying to get him to get. the. message.

📻 karma is a (cat) [E, 8,714 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Karma by Taylor Swift  🎵 Summary: Draco knew that his karma would come one to him one day and make him pay for all the mistakes he made during the war.  But he didn’t expect for it to have four legs, white whiskers, and a soft bushy tail.

📻 Kiss and Tell [E, 27,786 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Kiss and Tell by Bryan Ferry  🎵 Summary: Sometimes, Harry really fucking hated being himself. All he wanted was to be left alone. That, and someone to share his life with. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so.  When Harry’s sex-life was plastered across the front page of the Daily fucking Prophet, he decided to get away until it all died down. Unfortunately, trouble had always known how to find him.  Would it be possible to forgive the unforgivable?

📻 When the Flood Comes [E, 10,340]

🎵 Song Prompt: Eat Your Young by Hozier  🎵 Summary: Nine years on from the war, Auror Potter is upholding the Ministry of Magic's rule of law.  Senior legal counsel Draco Malfoy is challenging it.  And absolutely nothing is as it seems.

📻 Never Getting Over You [E, 4,396]

🎵 Prompt: Attention by Charlie Puth  🎵 Summary: Harry finally gets the push he needs to fight for what he's lost after a breakup that no one wanted.

📻 Mermaid [E, 3,000]

🎵 Song Prompt: 'Mermaids' by Florence and The Machine  🎵 Summary: “Your magic,” Harry says. “It’s gone.”  “It’s a curse,” Draco says, sounding wry. “Courtesy of Aunt Bellatrix. Disown a Black, and you’ll take their magic away, too. Even if their family name is Malfoy.” “What could bring your magic back?” Draco laughs in his ear. “True love’s kiss," he murmurs. And then he turns in Harry’s arms.

📻 Us, infinite (unfortunately) [E, 77,287 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: All Things End by Hozier  🎵 Summary: It’s very fitting for how Harry’s life has gone thus far that he gets trapped in a time loop without rhyme, reason, or warning.  To make matters infinitely worse, the one other person stuck on the same hellish chronological ride is Draco Malfoy, git extraordinaire.

🎶 H/D Wireless Podfic 🎶

📻 [Podfic] Move, move [T, 54:30 ]

🎵 Song Prompt: Bar Italia by Pulp 🎵 Summary: She grabbed Harry’s hand, slipping something small into it and pressing his fingers around it.  “Dilectio. It’ll cheer you up. Make you feel like dancing.”  Harry gaped at her. Drugs. Ginny’s fucking giving me drugs?  At Stasis nightclub Ginny does indeed give Harry drugs. But it's all good: Malfoy looks after Harry, and Harry grapples with newfound enlightenments, not to mention a newfound fascination with all things Malfoy—one which persists even when he finds out what Malfoy's up to.

[dorcas0meadows0kisserrr]

To be a stupid kid

Summary: war takes kids and turns them into weapons. Time to learn how to be stupid and free.

Luna lovegood is the person to thank when you really think about this. During her stay at Malfoy manor the youngest Malfoy couldn’t bring him self to hurt her, they talked and talked and talked and Luna took it upon herself to help him and she claimed him as her cousin. Putting herself in harms way for him and in return he did the same, Draco became a “spy” at the age of 17 for the love of a cousin and a promise that his mother would be saved. He learned a lot from his cousin like understanding, empathy and freedom. Understanding wasn’t hard to learn and since empathy was basically the same thing he didn’t have problems with that too. Freedom was something new. He been told how to walk, talk, eat and even breathe since he could remember. His father had squeezed every imperfection from his son, making sure His heir was perfect. The freedom to show emotions and unique-ness wasn’t a luxury the Malfoys had. At first in his younger years he had fought back sometime slouching and not tucking in his shirt. But the punishment outweighed the luxury so he stopped. The short and tidy hair when first, it looked like a pearly white version of his ‘cool aunt’ ( what she called herself ). She was removed from the house of black when she chose love over family.

“Did you know you have a nephew?” She said in the softest tone imaginable. “No, auntie Andy……will we be introduced?” Tears came to my eyes and dropped into my tea. I don’t know why I started crying the world started to feel bigger. like it was growing, moving on and the small smile I wore started to grow with it. “Yes I suppose I don’t have the right to deny you, your family.” She looked at me smirking from the top of her teacup. like she understood why I started crying, like she understood the feeling of the world that was once on her shoulders weighing her down keeping her down….slipping away, and I wanted to hug her. “Auntie Andy?”…“Yes Draco?”…………“May I hug you?” The tears that came from her eyes felt weird to look at this is probably ‘the empathy’ luna talked about. She walked around her coffee table and wrapped her arms around me and I froze up. Feeling arms around me, supporting me made me feel small. She squeeze me and I squeezed her back burying my head in her shoulder ( which was quite awkward, considering our height difference). She let me cry and sniffle on her for hours. I felt like a child again….. it felt amazing to be a child again.

“Teddy!!! you come back here!!” I was chasing a toddler. A really fast toddler but still- my mind healer will be hearing about this. He was naked and how could you take off all your clothes but not climb up or down the stairs? Like what??? “TEDWARD!!” He started to climb down the stairs….what. the. fuck. You know whoever ruling this sad, stupid planet, you can just say you don’t like me. “ARRY!!” I practically tripped down the stairs to see my mess of a nephew hugging his godfather’s neck. Naked. God I love that stupid child. “Hey Draco, I’m sorry your mom said it was fine- umm you look- umm” I looked down at my self. Gryffindor red, soaked broomstick and snitch pj pants that clearly didn’t fit me by the way it was hanging from my waist. A not so plain white t-Shirt with the ‘drawings’ of Tedward because I let him have his crayons in the bath and baby powder that was visible because of it. Barefooted and holding teddy’s onesie and diaper and knowing my hair, I probably look like my other aunt. And I started laughing at myself. “Oh potter take that wicked beast.” I giggle out as teddy got let down to his feet and ran over to me. “Rak-o?” I kneel down and pick him up in all of his nakedness and kiss his forehead. “Harry?? mate what’s taking so long??? This place gives me the creeps.” Weasley walks into my room flanked by Granger and the Ginevra who meet my eye and laugh in my face. I hate the Ginevra it’s not a secret, but my cousin loves her so I have to stand her.“Find something funny Ginevra??” “That’s a stupid question to ask rak-o”

“DONT CALL ME THAT WEASEL!!!” I giggle out, my death glare dying as I try to keep a straight face. I hate the Ginevra. “Hello Draco.” Granger said with a small smile trying not to laugh too. “hi Granger, hi Weasley, fuck you weasel and give me a second Potter.” I turn on my heel and start back up the stairs and coos at the little trouble maker in my arms. Then a small pop sounds right next to me “Does master Draco want me to set up refreshments for our guests.” “Thank you twinkle but I’m just fixing up this beast, I won’t take too long.”

“Actually rak-o, I’m pretty thirsty so a drink would be lovely twinkle.” I could feel, hear and smell the stupid smirk of the evil witch of the east (or was it west-) doesn’t matter she is wicked and evil and I hate her. “Twinkle please don-“ pop, and she was gone. I reach the top and turned to mines and teddy’s quarter flipping off the Ginevra.

I came back out with a fully clothed teddy to see the group space out across my sitting room. Granger looking through my bookshelf with so much interest that I smile. Weasley and the Ginevra was sitting down drinking the lemonade twinkle set out laughing about something probably (something about me). Potter was looking at my pictures on my fireplace his face back to stony stoic-ness and I laughed. I waved off the group promising to curse their families if anything happened to my nephew as i gave my nephew one more kiss on the forehead granger asked. “Are you going back to Hogwarts??” I laughed. “Of course, I need my NEWTs.” Granger broke out in a triumphant smile. “Exactly what I was saying can you believe that Harry and Ron don’t want to?” “Hermione why do I ‘The Savior of the Wizarding World’ needs NEWTs?” “Because you hate getting special treatment cause of your name and a war you shouldn’t have even been a part of.” I said looking him in his eyes and holding out my nephew. “Exactly, thank you Draco.”

Granger walked out with her head high following the 2 Weasleys. “yeah, thank you Draco.” Potter said taking my nephew in his arms and walking after them

Should I continue? 

[my-castles-crumbling]

if your still looking for some prompts… here’s a dialogue one for drarry: “are you drunk?”

Pairing: Drarry, Rating: T, Universe: Hogwarts Eighth Year, Warnings: 18-year-olds drinking, angst

Tomorrow, it would be a year.

A year since the Dark Lord had fallen, a year since Vincent had died, a year since life had changed forever.

He tried to feel grateful, to stay positive and thankful and humble, but it was hard. It was hard to look at the bright side- that he was alive and so was his family- when he had to dodge hateful curses daily and visit his father in Azkaban on a monthly basis.

Hogwarts had been a condition of his probation- a year of being looked after and watched closely by the Professors and the other students. He'd been indifferent about it at first. At least until he'd found out Potter was returning as well.

Potter had gotten multiple offers for jobs- the Aurors, the Cursebreakers, the Unspeakables. Why he'd chosen to return to school was beyond Draco. But somehow, they both ended up back in Scotland, students again, and at a clear crossroads.

But it had been clear very quickly that neither was in any place to want to fight- Draco was done with war in any sense of the word, and Potter was shockingly forlorn for someone who had taken down the most powerful dark wizard of all time, thereby saving most of his friends and family.

Really, every time Draco witnessed someone thank Potter, or even addressed his past efforts at all, Potter seemed downright mournful.

And Draco couldn't help but staring at Potter, following his every move, watching, a tad too transfixed, as Potter blundered his way through their eighth year. Perhaps it was the way Potter seemed to want to disappear into the very floorboards of the castle when he got attention, or the way Potter seemed almost haunted in his expressions. Or maybe it was the fact that, for the first time, Draco was able to acknowledge his more-carnal emotions and admit that Potter was quite fit and not at all bad to look at.

But it was undeniable that both he and Potter were struggling.

So, with less than twenty hours until the "Battle of Hogwarts Memorial Gala," Draco was only a little surprised to see Potter sitting alone by the lake, staring out into the dark water. He was more surprised by the bottle of firewhiskey accompanying the Chosen One.

"Potter...are you drunk?" he asked before he could stop himself, making the other man jump.

Potter got ahold of himself and chuckled. "That's the goal."

Draco knit his eyebrows together. "Why?"

"It helps me forget. Care to join?" Potter muttered, waving the bottle towards Draco.

It was all he could do not to ask if he was being pranked. Instead, he sat down hesitantly, wrapping his long fingers around the bottle. Figuring if he was going to play into this insanity, he might as well go for broke, he took a large swig, relishing a bit in the burn in his throat. "Would've thought you'd be...dunno...celebrating," he murmured, passing the bottle back to Potter.

Most people were. He knew that all of the houses were having parties tonight, and there were going to be afterparties again tomorrow. Though people were obviously mourning the anniversary of the death of loved ones, the date was mostly a reminder that Voldemort was gone, and parties seemed like the most logical way to celebrate that.

Not that Draco felt he should participate.

"Can't see celebrating a night that was so devastating," Potter replied, slurring only a little.

And for once, Draco agreed. He took another drink from the bottle and didn't reply.

"They want me to make a stupid speech tomorrow," Potter offered, not meeting his eyes. "Talk about...hope and...Merlin, and bright futures and how everything's fucking lovely now."

Draco couldn't help but snort derisively.

"S'bullshit, isn't it?" Potter asked, finally turning to him. "People are dead and I--we are still...still hurting...but let's send this message of-- of like-- fucking optimism, or something. Meanwhile, I have no idea what to do with my life, we graduate in a month, and I still can't get...these images of everyone I care about dying out of my head."

Draco felt his heart clench. It was almost insane to realize, but he could relate to what Potter was saying. He had no idea what to do with himself now that the war was over. So much of his every waking thought had been wrapped around how to stay alive and keep the people he cared about alive. Now...now he didn't know what to do with all that emptiness in his brain. And celebration seemed like an odd concept with people dead and displaced and rebuilding and he still couldn't get over the feeling that Voldemort was constantly watching him- living with the Dark Lord could do that to you.

And it seemed, amazingly, Potter could understand a lot of that.

It seemed the alcohol was also starting to hit his bloodstream, because his only reply was, "What if we both go away? To...to America, or something? Just disappear. Wonder what they'd do?"

It was just the first thing he thought, the first thing that popped into his head, a wish to get away from everything and everyone. But Potter gave him an odd look. "Together?" he asked incredulously.

But now the idea was intriguing and even though they no longer fought like children, Draco still felt like he couldn't show weakness in front of Potter, so he couldn't back down. So instead, he threw Potter a challenging grin and teased, "You've gotten multiple offers from the Aurors, Potter. I think you could handle one Death Eater if things go South."

But the light in Potter's eyes faltered. "Ex Death Eater. R-right?" he corrected, a bit unsure of himself.

Draco faltered, too, smile sliding off of his face. "Merlin, Potter. Y-yes, I mean, if we're being technical-"

"But...you regret it, right?" the other man asked, studying him closely.

It was a difficult question, and one not best answered while under the influence of alcohol, but Draco took another swig and did his best. "I...I was trying to protect my family. Myself. Surely you understand...I thought I had no choice," he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. "But I never wanted to hurt anyone. And I never...I know how wrong I was. About-- about blood, and its importance. I'm trying to learn."

It was true. Though Muggle Studies was another condition of his probation, he had thrown himself into his studies, and realized that Muggles were rather interesting. He even had developed a lot of respect for them- it took a lot of intelligence, he realized, to find ways to survive without magic.

He had also taken the time to write apology letters to every Muggleborn he'd bullied, talking extra care with Granger's letter. He still found her to be an annoying know-it-all, and he told her so, but he respected her intellect and power.

"Hmm..." Harry hummed in response to his answer.

"Why do you care?" Draco asked before he could stop himself.

"What?"

"Why do you care whether or not I regret it?" Draco clarified, narrowing his eyebrows.

Harry shrugged, but he turned a bit pink. "It...it makes it a bit easier that you do, I guess," he said vaguely.

And Draco had no idea what that meant.

"D'you ever wonder what it'd be like if he didn't exist? Voldemort?" Harry asked, laying back on the grass lazily.

Draco contemplated that. He couldn't imagine that-- what would Potter have been like if he was raised with parents and without a price on his head? "In what way?"

"Dunno. For us, for example," Harry whispered.

He chuckled. "Do you really think it would've been that different? I can't see a world in which we would've-- what?-- been childhood friends?"

Harry also laughed, but said, "You never know. The Hat considered putting me in Slytherin."

"Bullshit," Draco retorted without thinking.

"Nah. I told it not to because--" Harry started laughing in earnest, now, "--well, amongst other things, because I thought you were a prat."

And the alcohol in Draco's system stopped him from being defensive at this, instead drawing embarrassing snorts from him that made his face turn pink.

And before long, they were both in a full-blown fit of laughter, laying next to each other, tears of mirth running down their faces.

And for the first time in a very long time, Draco felt alive.

"H- Potter?" Draco asked as their laughter died down. "You- you should skip the Gala tomorrow." He wasn't sure where the suggestion had come from, but he was pretty confident it was the right idea, now.

And Harry met his eyes and looked at him for a long time before murmuring, "Only if you skip with me."

And Draco found himself giving a small smile and nodding, actually looking forward to the next day.

---

Keep sending requests, guys! I love them!

I decided to post this one! Please leave comments and kudos here!

[joannerowling]

Man PinkNews really can't stay away from Jo for too long lol, they're back at it again with more slander, this time with a supposed like of a pretty offensive tweet. And as always people are eating it all up.

Now I went to check and that supposed like wasn't there which makes me think it's fake(either that or much like few years ago when she liked and then unliked that one tweet-I forget what was it about, and if her like was real then it could be the same case again, an acidental like).

But like, I really don't get these people...I get it, they hate her, but why make up stuff? Is it cause perhaps normies are waking up and seeing that Jo isn't this evil person the likes of PinkNews and TRAs are trying to paint her as...it's so weird.

Well they can't exactly go and talk about anything wrong she would have actually done, can they, since when you look up what Jo really does with her money it's all charity and paying her taxes. We're still waiting on that list of anti-trans organisations she would have supposedly funded or donated to - you'd think they would line up to claim her patronage, and yet! Crickets! Strange, isn't it?

So they are reduced to this: dishonesty, defamation, and just making shit up when they run out of ideas. Take this week's example of what has the gendiboos shitting themselves: Jo liking a darkly humourous tweet saying "at least the Talibans know what a woman is". Someone tried to paint that as a) original tweeter was supporting the Talibans (yes, in this era where people can just say "kill yourself" to a celebrity over them claiming to like raisins); b) JKR herself implicitly supports the Talibans by proxy because she liked the tweet. Now, the person who said that claims to have received a cease and desist order. Gee, why would that ever happen??

… Yeah, i guess Jo's a little sensitive about that particular brand of defamation of her character. It's almost like, unlike these bozos, she actually cares about hate crimes against women.

Honestly i wish she'd actually take them to court, just once. She would absolutely wipe the floor with them and that would set the record straight for any more who wants to try her. And i'm not even saying that with her sake in mind tbh.

But for the sake of the ACTUAL WOMEN IN THE MIDDLE EAST SUFFERING THROUGH ISLAMIC REGIMES RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Like hey!! guys, gals and nonbinary pals! Maybe… just maybe?? we shouldn't use victims of horrible religious tyranny as pawns in some stupid gender wars?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I know we're all convinced in our heart of hearts that JK Rowling is a big bad meanie, but maybe we could act like the better people we pretend to be for once and treat this topic with the seriousness it warrants?? ufuckingwu!

And since i had the unpleasant surprise to see that in the tag this morning: same thing with Ukraine. No, JK Rowling is not friend with Putin, she has actually helped Ukrainian refugees since the start of the war, and the fucking Harry Potter store being maybe still up in Moscow on Google Maps is the last of Ukraine's problems even if she had the actual power to shut it down (assuming GM's infos are even actualised).

Like, i can sort of laugh it out when these idiots make up bullshit about the Goblins being antisemitic caricatures. (Except, it's not actually funny, not when you take two seconds to think about the implications that a whole generation of people apparently think that this is what antisemitism is, OR, care so little about antisemitism that they are happy to pretend that this is it.) It's a whole 'nother business to pick victims of current wars and religious extremism and make up a story about how it's all some writer you don't like's fault. Those are real people ffs. Whom JKR is tangibly helping. What the fuck is Pink News doing for them, hmm? Not even showing them an OUNCE of decency and respect, that's what.

Anyways, apologies for this outburst. To answer your question : why do they do it? Hatred. Hatred is the point. It goes nowhere deeper than this i'm afraid.

[mdhwrites]

Is The Owl House Timeless?

So this morning I made a blog about how the main thing required for something to be timeless is for it to be at least decently enough written to connect with an audience and that it had to have an emotion that the audience could connect with. A universal feeling that could cross race, gender, religion or even, yes, time. I used It’s a Wonderful Life as my example then.

I bet a lot of you who read it though were waiting for me to talk about TOH though because I know a LOT of people in the fandom at one point expected TOH to not only be timeless but a classic. The new Avatar the Last Airbender or the new Harry Potter (especially in what people wanted for its popularity with the latter). Both of those works are indeed timeless, as much as I am loath to compliment Harry Potter.

Is The Owl House? Individually, I think one could argue specific episodes and maybe the first season but the real reason I wanted to do this follow up blog is that satire and comedy almost always ages the worst. As worldviews change, what was mocked might not seem like it was in such good taste. How many 80s/90s college comedies like Animal House now feel kind of tacky when viewed from a modern lens? Or at least kind of misogynistic with their treatment of women?

I don’t think there are many element in TOH that are going to be as yikes as stuff like that someday but I think there’s already been a turn against it. It claimed to be progressive but in the end gave few real answers to that which it wanted to claim it was better than and even fell into many of the same holes as other works like it fell into. Its comedy is often stale and rooted in needing to be in its exact same mindset in order to be able to enjoy it.

Frankly, the style of satire, comedy and social commentary kind of makes me think of the spoof movie craze in the mid 2000s. You know, stuff like the constant sequels to Scary Movie, or Action Movie, etc. like that. TOH NEVER gets as bad as those, don’t get me wrong, but they’re both taking the same approach to their writing of these elements.

Rather than tackling it with a human emotion, something anyone can latch onto, they’re looking for buzzwords, specific gripes and incredibly specific tropes/references. Then they nail it to a board so they can hammer away until it’s damn near unrecognizable and whatever point was there is lost because they’re using a blunt object when a scalpel is required.

A LOT of people way better at this than me have talked about how a lot of things that want to be ‘satirical’ or ‘subversive’ are nowhere near as good as Mel Brooks but rather than talk about why his subversion is allowed while so many people fuck it up, I just want to talk about why they’re so often still timeless.

Blazing Saddles is the easy one. Human stupidity, greed and hate is always going to exist so rooting your comedy in both a genre and time period known for being exceptionally stupid, greedy and hateful, all while it normally tries to pretend it’s not, is just brilliant. Frankly, the main change from some Westerns to Blazing Saddles is that it’s willing to recognize bigotry and state it as bigotry, rather than try to justify it as a noble crusade or the like.

How about Space Balls though? One line tells you that they know what makes Star Wars both good and also exceptionally silly: “Evil will always win... Because good is dumb.” You want to criticize the fantasy genre as a whole? THAT is how you do it because we’ve all gotten fed up by meat headed heroes who walk into an obvious trap instead of thinking for literally five seconds but we also still like seeing those same meat heads win! It also plays into the ego in most fantasy villains as well as their hubris, as such working as just a general villain line but with the bluntness and delivery needed for it to be a joke instead.

TOH never really has this. Honestly, the best moment it comes to it is probably when the crackpot human curator seems so close to the truth before going off the deep end into conspiracy theories. I’ve literally had a friend do that to me once where I thought they were sane and rational until one night they told me, and I quote “You could have a catgirl girlfriend, it’s just that no one’s willing to admit that they’re real.” It’s a genuinely good subversion away from there being a mastermind villain and instead he’s just some loon who managed to be about 20% right in this case and that’s enough to make them dangerous. And mocking that level of insanity, of someone who has just lost themselves entirely in a rabbit hole that everyone else knows is unhealthy, is a common thread for many, especially in the modern age. It’s not like people in Ancient Greece never had to deal with some loon who thought the end of days was coming though.

Most of the time though? Most of the time it’s stuff like the Golden Snitch reference where it’s not even referencing a common trope in fantasy writing but specifically calling out a very singular thing. Where if you don’t know Harry Potter, or even worse LIKE QUIDDITCH, then you have nothing to connect to there. Maybe Luz’s outrage over losing due to a technicality but it’s not even a technicality. It’s just being outplayed and so the closest to a more universal feeling is betrayal but the joke spends so much time on rage at the literal trope, instead of even what Boscha did, that the thread at bare minimum gets lost.

And that’s much of TOH’s elements like these. They have a theoretical point to them but along the way, they lose their point or focus, or are so focused that they miss the universal element that’s right there. Take The First Day. Luz is someone who has struggled in school because of being bullied and an oddball. This was a great chance to really connect with every child who feels left behind by the school system because they won’t cater to them.

Except... It doesn’t work here. Her complaint isn’t that she can’t learn, that how things are being taught don’t work for her either because she learns differently or her brain processes things differently, etc. like that. Instead, it’s that she COULD learn whatever single subject she is stuck on but that’s not what she WANTS to learn.

Even the detention kids are the same way. Viney in S2 is established as one of the best healers in the school despite her multi-classing but it’s got nothing to do with her multi-classing. As such, strict healing magic is something she learns just fine. It’s just that she’s not being allowed to be creative with it.

And THAT is an interesting topic to discuss, schools stifling creativity or needing to give opportunities for it, but the narrative context stops that. They never say it because it would get in the way of their point but the school should say they allow single tracks because it’s literally illegal for them to do otherwise. That can allow a theme of how industry and government too often dictate the priorities of our schooling and how that’s a bad thing. That would even fit within the themes of TOH where the individual is crushed by the monopoly. By the ‘normal’.

 But they don’t do that because they have a different goal in mind. And this is why being well written is part of my criteria for being timeless. Again, not perfect, but an invested audience in TOH should also have that nagging question of why the coven system isn’t getting brought up in this episode. The EC is brought up as the basilisk disguises themselves as an inspector, but never that the Emperor would potentially close the school entirely if they were to allow mixed classes because that goes against both the coven system and the Titan.

It instead just never comes up so while it has a theoretical point it’s trying to make, the resonance is lost as a reasonable question, a genuine plot hole, grows wider and wider with every passing minute until the moment an audience should cheer for creativity winning out, for the need for flexible thinkers to be shown, is still met with some amount of confusion as people wonder why the show still hasn’t said ANYTHING about the coven system properly in this entire episode, even as now Hexide does frankly the biggest act of rebellion in perhaps the entire show.

And that is when TOH is GOOD. The later TOH goes on, the more and more a disconnect can be felt between the theme or resonance the writers are going for and what they’ve actually setup until S3 is pulling things out of its ass left and right because it can’t even do an identity arc with a clone, a sci fi staple to put it mildly, right because it literally can’t focus on anything long enough to make it function. Or its actions are too contradictory to keep you invested, like in Reaching Out where Luz is willing to at least tell 75% of her problem to Eda and King but then acts like she literally cannot, lest she die instantly on the spot, tell Amity or even think about it for all of five seconds.

As I concluded my last blog: Resonance should be something that all writers as a base element of writing should strive for. Bare minimum, it should resonate with the writer and that will help it resonate with others. How well you can make your writing be able to resonate beyond yourself though is the real test for a good story and a good writer.

And while obviously the fandom for TOH proves it resonated with many, myself even at one point, I wonder how many it still resonates with today? And especially as time wears on and tests the claim of it truly being transcendent of the moment it was created, or if it will just look like a relic to be left behind.

[saintsenara]

#9 and/or #29 for Severus x Sirius?

thanks for the ask, anon!

[ship ask game here]

9. baths or showers together? do they like elaborate ones with bubbles and flower petals?

[our scene opens in number twelve, grimmauld place, in the marble shower enclosure in the master bathroom]

"sirius, get your hands off me! do you have any idea how many people die from falling over in the shower?"

"i'm not trying to fuck you, severus, I'm trying to get you to wash your awful hair."

"very witty. and to think i was going to offer to put a sticking charm on you so you wouldn't lose your balance. but i suppose i'll just have to leave you to sort yourself out..."

"you are the most evil man in the world."

-

[later, we find our heroes jammed at either end of a magnificent, claw-footed bathtub, filled with a mountain of pink bubbles. sirius is wearing a deep-cleansing mud-mask.]

"this is ridiculous."

"stop complaining, severus, i'm the one with the tap poking into my back."

"if you must insist on us taking ridiculous bubble baths together - sirius, is that a water lily? - then we should at least use a bath that can actually fit two people into it."

"i always wanted to have sex in the prefects' bathroom..."

"you and half the school. it's why we had to seal it off."

"but surely you can still get in there..."

"there are many advantages to being headmaster, sirius."

29. what is something they can never agree on? how do they meet in the middle?

harry.

severus mellows, of course, after the end of the war, but all that means is that he likes watching voldemort's death scene over and over again in a pensieve. he still think harry is reckless, foolish, stupid, terrible at potions, lazy, arrogant, profligate, and obsessed with his own celebrity. sirius points out that he's also brave, merciful, kind, talented, and surprisingly willing to suffer through weekly brunches with them both.

they agree to disagree, and instead work on outdoing each other in how they dote on their namesakes and godsons.

james sirius is exactly as ruthless and quick-thinking as both the men who gave him his names. sirius buys him his first toy broom and endures a week of shouting from molly when he falls off it and breaks his collarbone [both harry and ginny agree he was actually pretty close to executing a perfect wronski feint]; he helps him through the animagus transformation and assures james that it isn't funny that his form is a pygmy puff; he buys him exclusively scarlet and gold items for a full eighteen years of birthdays, until james tells him he's now in a cottage-core pastel-boy era and he needs to get on board; and he breaks down in tears of pride when james is hauled out of the wizengamot for interrupting a session on crime to demand they make it an urgent priority to defund azkaban.

albus severus, in contrast, is subtle and sly. severus teaches him all the requisite techniques not only to be a good potioneer but also a magnificent cook and al is molly's favourite grandchild as a result; he adores all the shared in-jokes they have as the only two slytherins in an extended family of gryffindor idiots; he teaches him how to lie fluently and shield his mind from intrusion, which works on everyone except professor mcgonagall [a fact he sees fit to mention with glee to the headstone in little hangleton cemetery reading tom marvolo riddle: woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him]; and, when lucius malfoy tries to forbid the relationship between al and scorpius, because he's not simply content with being a terrorist, he's a homophobe as well, severus punches his old friend in the face, never speaks to him again, and goes off for dinner with the potters. which he doesn't actually hate doing.

lily luna's godfather is hagrid. it's chaos.

[fangirls666]

Star wars prequels and orginal trilogy. ***the twin sister that should never been***

Y/n was in the middle of watching star wars her favorite franchise of all time after harry potter. I am always sad that anakin turns into darth vader I mean we always new it was going to come to that no matter how Manny time you watch it. But if I had the chance to make things different I would I mean any fan girl would really but sadly it's fictional not real which mean I live in the real world and only that. Which sucks it's not like reality any better at least if it was real we would of had jedis and aliens but at last we don't. It's not like I've had et had my far share in darkness as will but it's the only job I have to pay my bills. And it's not like I've had any other choice in the matter the government practically kidnapped me and made me do the job cause I was apparently really smart in computers dam it. When I got a call from boss who I hate so much telling me that I have to go in the morning to the headquarters stupid fuckin job that I had no choice in the say was apparently we have a spy inside wtf. I was just finishing watching revenge of the sith I've got a snack and popcorn sitting on the couch when I paused the movie I heard a silent ticking sound when all the sudden bomb a bom went off and there was nothing left I was dead or at least I thought I was the next thing I knew whas hereing sound and voices one was in pain I open my eyes to find my hands and feet are small and I am looking at a person who is apparently my new mother she looks so familiar where have I seen her from? Next to me was I guessing my new baby brother twin. I hear her naming me y/n skywalker and my baby brother anakin skywalker of fuck that's why she was so familiar she was in star wars how the fuck is the possible no scientific evidence can explain this and apparently my brother is anakin mini darth vader. How on earth am I gonna survive this bullshit.

----------------------------------------------------

These are very long summary I know but when I am reading fanfiction I like reading long finished works and I hate it when people don't finish them but sometime it might take some time cause you know i gotta a life. Please send feedback and ask Mr questions I hope you guys like it .

[sitp-recs]

Hi Liv! I was wondering if you have a rec list already where either Draco or Harry struggle with alcoholism? I have read maybe like one before, but I couldn't find it again. I've been sober for almost 4 years now, but things are super stressful and that makes me stupid sometimes. Idk, it just helps, reading about my favourite pair. Anyways, thank you if you have any that you might wanna rec, and if not, thank you anyways, I really enjoy your blog, I always find some great fics through your recs💞 Hope you have a lovely day!🫶✨

Hi anon! Congrats on being sober for almost 4 years, you’re doing great 💜 I’m sorry things have been hard lately, I hope the recs help. I’m very particular about addition in fic so I haven’t read much or often, but I do have some recs for you. Maybe my followers can share more?

again, for the first time by @aibidil (E, 14k)

Five times Draco lied about why he wasn't drinking, and one time he gave an honest answer. Or, a love letter to sobriety.

War Wounds by SilentAuror (E, 30k)

Some wounds take longer to recover from than others. HP/DM, with background HP/GW. Themes of alcoholism, love triangles, and dubious fidelity.

Dreaming Darkly by @quicksilvermaid (E, 39k)

It's five years after the war, and Harry is not okay. He hates his job. He hates Robards. He hates Ron's promotions and Hermione's concern. He chases oblivion in booze and weed and quick dirty fucks, but it's never enough.

Take A Chance On Me by @mintawasalreadytaken (E, 41k)

There's a DJ on RareFM with a secret. Or: the one with all the ABBA in it.

Polar Night/Midnight Sun by toomuchplor (E, 54k)

Harry travels to arctic Norway on the trail of dragon egg poachers, only to find he's been assigned to work alongside the only NorMagPol Auror north of sixty: one Draco Malfoy. It's been ten years since they crossed paths, and Malfoy isn't exactly what Harry expected or remembered. For one thing, he wears a lot more hand-knits?

Lemon Colour, Honey Glow by @thusspoketrish (E, 67k)

Over a series of unfortunate pub nights at the Leaky Cauldron, Draco Malfoy falls in love. A story about finding strength and forgiveness in unlikely places.

Unhook the Stars by jad (E, 70k)

Seventy-thousand words of pornographic discourse between two boys-turned-men that still haven't learned how to communicate like normal people – with words. Guest appearances by Pansy Parkinson, Neville Longbottom, Hermione Granger, Blaise Zabini, Teddy Lupin, Gregory Goyle, the Weird Sisters, ex-wives, several Weasleys, a Boggart, and a Honey Badger.

Nor All That Glisters by @sweet-s0rr0w (E, 110k)

Lonely and frustrated on house arrest, with no prospects for the future, Draco begins brewing Felix Felicis in an attempt to improve his lot. Just in the short term, of course. He isn’t a total idiot. But before long he finds himself with a thriving business, a nice flat, some actual (albeit irritatingly Gryffindor) friends, and a very satisfying sex life. What’s more, no-one is hexing him in the street. And Harry Potter is single, and gorgeous, and giving Draco decidedly interested looks.

Another Mask Behind You by lettered (E, 116k)

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies.

Dwelling on Dreams by @the-sinking-ship (E, 135k)

Draco thought he could avoid Potter for the duration of his brief return to England. He’d stick to his schedule and be back home in Paris, where he belonged, in a few short months. No trouble at all. He had plenty to occupy him, what with the opening of the London branch of his successful apothecary, his innovative research, drinks with Pansy, a backlog of unread potions periodicals.

Number Seven by sara_holmes (M, 253k)

Harry already has small children, an ex-wife, annoying colleagues and an international crime ring to deal with. So when Draco Malfoy reappears after eight years AWOL in France, of course Harry is going to leave him well alone...Right?

Whatever You Want, Draco Malfoy by @dorthyanndrarry (E, WIP)

Draco lost his home and the only society he knew after the war. He ended up living in the muggle world, making new friends and new connections and maybe some sort of peace. Even if that peace was usually found at the bottom of a bottle. It was enough for him. He was content to just exist. Then Harry Potter decided to ruin everything.

[itsthenerdwonder]

Okay, before we end the PJO tv show, I’m gonna watch the shitty movie. I’ve reread the book, chapter by chapter, before each episode to compare it for myself. But let’s watch the movie to compare to the show AND book cuz why the eff not?

And since Percy is played by a 21 year old, I will also be drinking during this movie cuz BLEH!

20th Century Fox…you sure did last longer than 1999. For better and worse. And now Disney owns you and you’re nothing but a memory…a little more booze will fix that.

Chris Columbus, because everyone loved the first 2 Harry Potter movies. Well, they loved how good of adaptations they were as well as the Dumbledore actor.

Giant Poseidon rises out of the water…struggling to walk through water like he’s a human. AND A HUMAN SEES HIM AND HE’S JUST LIKE “sup” LIKE….THAT HAD BETTER BE A RANDOM TSUNAMI HE’S FUCKING SEEING! AND THEN POSEIDON JUST WATER MORPHS INTO A REGULAR GUY?! WHY ARE YOU NOW A REGULAR GUY?! WHY NOT JUST START AS A REGULAR GUY? Why be massive at all? Just, why?

You know, Sean Bean probably wishes he DID die in this movie so he’d never have to reprise. But, only the main 4 actually reprised so, you know, whatever. The franchise flopped enough to count as a death.

EXPSITION! TALKING! WALKING! BORING!

Also, this implies that Luke LITERALLY JUST TOOK IT! Like, days/hours ago and Zeus is already like “guess imma just kill a kid and cause WWIII in 2 weeks.” Like, Zeus has no chill, but he’s king of the gods for a reason. Those shits are PETTY! And do ALL KINDS of stuff that could’ve resulted in dozens of power plays/wars/other shitty things happen to the gods or mortals, but they didn’t cuz Zeus…actually knows how to rule. He just doesn’t know how to keep it in his pants. That’s a separate issue.

Such intense. Very dramatique standing. Much wow.

Honestly, even though this is a weird opening, it is a very good opening. Percy just…chilling in his element. Like, yeah, 7 minutes for a high schooler to just hold his breath is bad cuz 6 minutes and you start losing brain cells and teenagers don’t have cells to lose cuz they lost half of them to puberty and spend the next 10-15 years wrestling them back from their hormones and self-worth issues. But still, it’s a nice score after that intensely nothing scene, very calm and soothing, makes the “who could Percy’s dad” question feel very stupid but the movie isn’t trying to make you think, so you can just…be for that underwater scene. It’s nice. But unfortunately we don’t drown and the movie keeps going.

Although, with Rick adding that Percy does have a fear of drowning in later books, that does make this scene…terrifying. Is Percy trying to drown himself?

“It’s like high school without the musical” so…high school. Also, hey, an appropriately 2008 reference cuz these books can’t stop making references. Seriously, Rick, you can stop making references that date the books. You do a yearly reference per book but sometimes it’s multiple books per year. THAT’S NOT HOW DATES WORK.

Mrs. Dodds is teaching English cuz…Shakespeare is harder than high school trig? But it does give us a decent look at Greek letters superimposing over the early modern English as the letters move and rearrange and…this is the second nice thing I’ve said. SHIT! SAY SOMETHING DISPARAGING!

“I think this dyslexia thing is getting worse.” That’s…not how dyslexia works. “Idk, maybe it’s the ADHD.” This movie is dumb. Phew, I said something disparaging.

Percy sassing his mom makes me hate him rather than making me think they have a close relationship and he loves his mom and would literally kill for her.

Ah, the first sexual thing to happen on screen. And this is the only one to not make me mad cuz it’s Gabe being the worst.

“Show some respect. That’s my mom right there.” No, that’s his wife right there. Show him some of you leaving so he can continue to be a mortal pig stinking up the place and making you safe from monsters. God this Gabe is the worst, he’s fucking perfect.

Oh right, and the gods are telepathic too. Cuz…why? That’s never established in ANY myth or book. “I haven’t seen him since he was a baby” yeah, but apparently you guys have one-way phone calls where you give cryptic advice every other Tuesday.

AND THEY GET GREEK MYTH WRONG! “The Big Three overthrew Kronus.” *Pulls out 3 mythology books, 10 mythology websites and the fucking book.* Now, we’re not leaving until you learn these gods’ dam myths or you are carried away by Thanatos trying.

Mrs. Dodds honestly looks like such a creeper in this scene. Looking like she’s trying to sniff his hair. Ick.

Pierce Brosnan is a brilliant actor. He uses the wheelchair like a fucking pro, but then he keeps propping himself up at an odd angle away from the back like it’s uncomfortable to sit in. Which, would make sense given he’s got a whole other half folded up behind him.

It’s so interesting how the Furies keep getting wings in modern media. Like, classical depictions have them as just really really pissed off ladies. And that’s no lady. That’s a demon.

Logan was clearly thinking the CGI would grab his arms to lift him instead of underneath his arms, so he just looks really stiff cuz the CGI artists messed up.

“I should be on medication.” Well yes but actually no.

Also, how was the show’s lack of a fight scene better than this…almost fight? Pathetic attack and subsequent scolding? At least she died in the show, unlike here.

“Only use it in times of severe distress.” That line…makes no sense…cuz…like…he’s camp activities director for a bunch of demigods he’s training to fight to the death…WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T WANT THIS KID WHO’S IN IMMEDIATE DANGER TO USE A WEAPON?!

“This is a pen. This is a pen!” Well…at least some of this movie is fun/funny/almost enjoyable.

Movie!Percy is an ableist jackass who thinks crutches constitute helplessness. Book!Percy would beat Movie!Percy up for even SUGGESTING Grover couldn’t handle himself, much less kick someone’s ass. He’s seen Grover in the cafeteria line.

“Like I said, I’m your protector.” And suddenly, Eddie and the guys think Grover’s gay for Percy

“He was forced to leave.” I…the tide comes and goes. And so does Poseidon. He’s here, then he’s gone. But he’ll return again. Constant change. How is that so hard to write?

“Leaving you was probably the most difficult thing he ever did.” Okay, I know you’re not Show!Sally, but lady, Imma need you to do your research about your ex. Okay?

“Sally watch out!” For what? The cow didn’t enter the screen until the car was already turning to avoid it.

And this is why you wear a seat belt. All of you should’ve gone flying through that windshield cuz none of you were wearing seat belts.

I’m going to need Grover to never say “Come on” again. Please. For the love of Apollo.

I hate that invisible wall.

You know, it’s supposed to be raining. Which is why Percy does not insta-die. Cuz water. Instead, this kid is just the best at being a matador/sword fighting cuz Gary Stu.

“No. No. No. No. No. No.” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! GIVE IT UP FOR THE WORST LINE DELIVERY IN THE WHOLE GODDAMN MOVIE! “I’d like to thank my mom, for dying. My teen angst, for not giving a shit for her dying. That math test I was supposed to take today I definitely didn’t study for that I was thinking about the same time as remembering my mom just died. None of you were important to me. And I’ll keep on not caring for the rest of this movie. Good night!”

This is the tiniest Camp Half-Blood ever…and the musical just had a small black box to work with. Sword combat training right next to archers firing at everything leaving the infirmary and both working to put you back in immediately after getting healed?

“I’m a loser. I have dyslexia. ADHD.” Look. 2010 was a different time. But like…did the writers KNOW what those were? That they’re unfortunately not an uncommon disability in America. For one or the other (usually not both, but most people don’t hear about half-bloods unless they make the news for blowing up Mount St. Helens. Again)

Look at Clarise kicking ass, even though she should have her hair up. “That’s Annabeth.” Oh, right. Every time.

Instant connection. Cuz…teenagers be horny I guess. Not like we can actually build up the relationship or anything. NOOOOO. Gotta be horny at first sight.

Pierce Brosnan is a terrible actor with how he’s holding his arms like he Naruto running, but they’re fists so it just looks stiff and awkward.

“A real horse’s ass.” I still don’t understand that joke. Not that one. The one in Aladdin where he says “a horse with two rear ends” but…RIGHT! Gotta focus on the worse movie.

All daughters of Aphrodite are sorority girls with Elle Woods’ body and libido without the Elle Woods brains. Remember when this story was supposed to be for 12-year-olds.

And there’s no question who his dad is cuz Poseidon just came to camp one day and decided to be a carpenter and carved “PεΓ<ψ ωiιι βε HεΓε” right above the door

You know…the CGI on Chiron’s horse half looks pretty good.

“This stuff is so heavy!” That’s light leather! What are you talking about. I can show you several 12-year-olds wearing full metal breastplates, pauldrons and helmets carrying metal shields too (which also looks cheap, but still) that would laugh at how you think THAT is heavy.

Grover’s so upbeat here at camp…which is…interesting…

Camp Leader? Leader? I…what the fuck is happening. Why is Luke…more in charge than Chiron? And Mr. D comes next movie…DID MR. D TAKE LUKE’S JOB?!

Idk…maybe it’s just the Michael lingering in poor Adam Winchester, but…he just RADIATES evil, you know?

“That’s a sword. That’s a sword.” No shit.

But, you know, even with the shaky cam, the fight choreography is pretty good.

“My mother is goddess of wisdom and battle strategy. You know what that means?” You’re an inflated windbag who exposits a lot? Like, didn’t we already establish that 2 scenes ago? Yet, I almost needed it cuz I forgot she was Annabeth again and was like “Hey Clarisse” cuz she looks like how I picture Clarrise (who’s a blonde) and fighting against Percy and being a bitch and…yeah

Cuz she wouldn’t know to not leave a son of Poseidon anywhere near water? Like, even not knowing that it’d heal him, with admittedly decent effects, he’s already claimed and so she’d KNOW that maybe, just maybe, he’s a water boy. That and/or he’s probably pretty good on horseback.

And now the fight choreography sucks. I’m bored. Mostly by the 1-v-1 instead of war between many like we were doing. Like…they would be doing.

Grover isn’t hungry all the time here. He’s horny all the time. I hate it.

“I’m not going to grow a fish tail or gills am I?” Listen, I’d much rather be watching Thirteenth Year. Shut up.

“I have very strong feelings for you. I just haven’t decided if they’re positive or negative yet.” So…you think he’s hot, but a jerk. So…make it negative cuz…yeah, this Percy is a prick and I don’t want to be his friend. Where’s Book or Show!Percy. I miss them.

AND HADES IS SATAN BECAUSE EVERYONE SAW DISNEY’S HERCULES AS WELL AS FUCKING CHRISTIANS AND THEIR HATRED OF DEATH! I HATE THIS! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU FOR DISPARAGING THE LORD OF THE DEAD LIKE THIS!

I’m also going to need Grover to stop saying “I’m your protector.” It’s almost as repetitive as “Come on,” but not quite. Not yet.

Luke playing video games is somehow the biggest change from the book. Not Annabeth eating Clarisse’s character. Not Mrs. Dodds teaching Shakespeare. Not that everyone knows Percy’s heritage and thus we cut out the “gods are deadbeats” theme from the books…nope. It’s the fact that this Ancient Greek summer camp has fucking electricity.

“My dad’s a jerk, I’ve never met him.” You know, if it was ONLY book 1, I could forgive this. Knowing several books had come out and May Castellian’s story was able to be known…OOPS! Kinda forgot to read ahead to make sure everything lines up, huh?

I broke into a god’s house and stole stuff (I’m obviously not the Lightning Theif even though I’ve already stolen from the gods) like this book that’s still covered in dust which doesn’t make sense logically.

Shoe flies into the screen for all the 3D movie watchers out there. Honestly, I miss when 3D did gimmicks like that.

Persephone fucking around is not her character. Other than possibly Hades (and, that’s from Ovid, a Roman, who put in a line about her agency rather than the original Greek tale) she’s a virgin goddess. She’s called Kore, The Maiden, before she’s Persephone. Like…what’s with all the sex stuff and tying NONE OF IT TO ZEUS!?

Look, the 3 pearls given by Poseiden being made the 3 stopping points could’ve…not sucked, except, the first few books are very much adventures. Like Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Or any of the Lord of the Rings. We start at Point A and we’re going to Point B and crazy things happen on the way to make it interesting. Those things are just super dangerous cuz it’s an adventure inspired by The Oddessy rather than a Road Trip movie where those things are comedy based.

Map will only show 1 pearl at a time, so how does Luke know how many there are? He could be lying. Also this is why Mrs. Dodds needed to teach you Math, so you could do 1+1+1 DOES NOT EQUAL 4 PEOPLE STUPID!

Also, to get the map to show you the next one, just say I Solemnly Swear That I’m Up To No Good.

And Luke gives them a shield that takes 5 seconds to fully open which isn’t helpful because we saw none of the kids using shields so they probably would suck with them instead of knowing how to use it in a fight/forget it has a timer and they die by being impaled before the shield can fully open.

47 minutes in and we’re JUST NOW getting to the quest. And YET! It felt like we were running through the first 10 chapters.

Honestly, don’t totally hate the Highway to Hell song because it’s super on the nose.

*Grover sees rats* “That’s nasty.” YOU’RE A SATYR! YOU WOULD PROBABLY BE HAPPIER TO SEE NATURE DOING IT’S THING THAN EATING A TIN CAN! Probably…tin cans are also very delicious.

Annabeth is also a thief, stealing from Aunty Em like that.

The woman’s overacting is…why?

Grover should’ve been stabbed with how Percy was holding that thing.

Uma’s decision to rub her hands together to project her evil instead of just…holding herself with the confidence of a villainess was certainly a decision.

Huh, even the movie doing the “Medusa was a pretty woman” story…and even reference that she hates his dad instead of having a sweet spot like in the book…

What, is she just that persuasive? I think her snakes are venomous, so, like, she could do that instead of just…standing there saying “look me in the eye when you know I’m fucking Medusa.”

Percy with the iPod is…regrettably iconic.

Uma running is…regrettably memorable cuz it’s that bad rather than the iPod.

If Annabeth was able to get out with the arm broken off, she should’ve been able to get out with the arm attached, but I guess we can make Grover actually helpful.

“I don’t have the lightning bolt!” Except, since we cut Ares giving it to them in Colorado and put it in the damn shield…YES YOU DO!

Why is Medusa hitting on, supposedly, a teenager! Medusa is a ephebophile and needs to die for that much more than killing a woman who screamed too much.

That truck should be destroyed to hell and Percy should be dead.

No black man is giving up the hoodie under the jacket. That’s not happening.

Medusa is also bisexual if they found the pearl on her wrist like that so she could leave Persephone’s Garden whenever she wanted/needed.

Yay. Everyone hates country music.

I’m glad they have money for a 2 bed motel.

Wow. I’m so glad Percy can heal others with water like he’s frickin Katara.

“It’s a recent thing that Zeus said Fuck Them Kids. Like, 15 years recent.” Yeah, that’s not…that’s not why the gods are deadbeats.

Grover, not so loud. You wanna tell the entire motel ppl that we’re here?

Everyone remembered this scene from the movie and the tourist in the book and decided that’s why the show was bad in waiting until St Louis, like in the book, to say Percy was a fugitive of the law. Instead of, just…a troubled kid with a dead mom.

“That’s what I’m talking about, Gabe always running his mouth.” You met Gabe for 2 seconds at the apartment. You are talking about nothing. Gabe is always nothing with you. You know nothing. Shut up.

Boy, I’m so glad they slept so they could drive again instead of sleeping in the car, being awake at the motel, and driving all night to be awake in the day. Ugh.

The Athena Parthenos is not allowed to be there cuz we gotta find it in HoO. That’s also not how it looks in Nashville so, like, that’s gotta be the real Parthenos.

People check the bathrooms and would’ve escorted you out.

Annabeth is a racist who goes to kill the black guy first.

SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE A CROSSBOW?! Since how does she know how to use a crossbow? Since why does she have a crossbow?

Surprised they’re not making a sex joke about groping Athena’s tits or something.

But…why would the hydra want a bolt of lightning? It wouldn’t even be able to use it.

Also, everyone’s seen Disney’s Hercules, and Winter Soldier is coming out in a few years. Grover also should’ve known that that was bad.

AND NOW SHE HAS A BOW AND FULL QUIVER OF ARROWS!

That’s a lot of water for a single water fountain.

Boy. I’m so glad they’re carrying Medusa’s head around instead of sending it to Olympus to get their parents to say “we see you, sweeties! We hate it, but we see you!”

And again, Grover saves the day and Annabeth only makes it worse.

“Several Continents” …you named 2, so it would be over those two continents. Also…how big is it? Is it as big as a mountain range? EQUAL to Europe and straddling the two continents?! ALL OF EUROPE AND ASIA?! Cause, honestly, it’d be weird, but a stormfront covering half of Europe/part of Asia at the same time wouldn’t be impossible. Storms be big. Europe be small.

I will say, points for the show to make it a real casino instead of an amusement park like in the book, cuz…that’s not really how casinos work. Like, they can have a really great secondary, non-casino part, but…a theme park like here in the movie and focusing on the arcade and making it massive like the book is…weird.

I’m gonna need Grover to be a little less horny.

That’s a lot of people for three teens. Instead of it being enticing, it’s forcing. Which…is not how the Lotus Eaters work.

The kids have never done drugs before cuz even the ones that make you happy don’t make you THAT kind of happy.

Honestly, still a great part of the movie, with Grover tearing it up. Get it, Goat Boy.

Percy, stop getting high. This is not part of the drugs, I swear. Percy. I AM YOUR FATHER, wait, Disney doesn’t own both properties yet.

Honestly, I’m expecting the lotus servers to ring security with how insistent they are. Like, damn.

Grover was about to have an orgy, cuz like, ugh!

“I can drive from Vegas to LA in 3 to 4 hours.” NOT WHEN YOU HIT TRAFFIC BITCH! And you will.

The sky doesn’t look like a massive storm cloud, it looks like really bad pollution.

Is Annabeth allowed to do anything? She didn’t read the sign. She didn’t help in Medusa. She BARELY DID ANYTHING in Nashville (not that she did much other than have a personality in St. Louis.) She was the same level of helpful in the Lotus Casino. Annabeth, why are you HERE?!

Grover, why are you asking Percy what anything about Greek Myth is? Again, Annabeth is the smart one!

Percy just gonna casually stab Charon and think he’s going anywhere? This is the Land of the Dead, boy! He cannot die! If he does, it just means a bigger back up in the waiting room.

I love that Death plays Charon. He’s such a good actor.

“We’re in a recession!” When are we not? Fucking American economy.

You know what, the Underworld green screen actually looks impressive. It’s well done.

“All lives end in suffering and tragedy.” This is not Hell. This is Hades. So where are the Fields of Asphodel? Where’s Elysium? It’s more than just the Fields of Torment! Tartarus is UNDER Hades. That’s not all Hades is.

Probably a super cute puppy! Nope, just 2 Hellhounds. But Mrs. O’Leary is so nice!

Persephone trying to hit on Grover is…I’m so done. Why Grover’s new personality gotta be horn dog?

I actually don’t hate Hades looking like an aging rocker look. It’s weird, but it’s at least a look. Unlike Zeus and Poseidon in the first scene with 0 style.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO HORNY FOR GOAT?!

“I was banished here by Zeus and Poseidon.” No, just Zeus. And you didn’t hate it. I mean, you hate it cuz it’s constant work, but you do a good job and would hate ruling the sea or sky.

Hades asking the real questions here.

Why is Hades backing out of the deal? Didn’t they see Disney’s Hercules?

“The only time I look forward to is my allotted time away from this hellhole.” You mean summer? Like, right now? Cuz you supposed to be top side, honey.

“Guys, it’s gotta be me, cuz I’m your protector…and also gonna bone a goddess.” I don’t hate him as Grover. I hate the writers for Grover.

How does Sally know where the entrance is, but still can’t get through? Also, another woman running up behind Percy or Annabeth shouting her lines annoyingly. Yay.

Wow, you’re really just gonna say that, huh.

“I was planning on giving the bolt to Hades the whole time.” Cuz fuck Kronos who we DID ESTABLISH VERY EARLY IN THE MOVIE!

This should be a much more intense fight between Annabeth and Luke knowing their history. But…it’s more of a Clarisse vs Luke fight cuz it’s weirdly choreographed and no dialogue to suggest they know each other.

“Why do you want a war with the gods?” Cuz fuck ‘em. “Control.” I…♪Everybody wants to rule the world♪ BUT LIKE! HE’S ALREADY APPARENTLY CAMP LEADER! HE’S ALREADY GOT CONTROL! WHAT WOULD BECOMING A GOD DO????

MISS! MISS! MISS! COME ON IT’S ULTIMATE POWER AND YOU MISSED 3X IN A ROW! MISS! HOW CAN YOU MISS? HE IS 3 FEET IN FRONT OF YOU!

Percy still should not be flying, but we need the battle to be more epic cuz Percy vs Ares isn’t cool enough and a sudden reveal is too subtle and intense. This final battle misses so many marks.

HE IS FLYING THROUGH A METAL BUILDING AND HE MISSED COMPLETELY! Luke is a terrible shot and just sucks. But apparently can throw a dagger at high speeds at a moving target, so he can aim, he just sucks when plot needs them to.

And there’s the movie poster.

And Luke should’ve been electrocuted, drowned, and died. He should not be alive. But then that would imply Percy is okay with killing people. Cuz Medusa clearly doesn’t count.

And another invisible wall. If she shouldn’t have been able to get to out, she honestly shouldn’t have been able to get on the elevator in the first place.

Look at Hogwarts, I mean, Olympus.

Party City called, they want $50 per costume.

“I have no connection to Poseidon.” I…clearly you do cuz you trusted him enough to help you get out of the Lotus Casino.

This Hermes looks like a loser and deserves Luke’s hate. Nathan Fillion Hermes is Nathan Fillion and still deserves Luke’s hate.

Zeus does not have power to bring back someone from the Underworld. That is not his jurisdiction! The gods can have overlap, 2 gods of war stuff kinda deal, but not fully take control of something that is their domain. Ares has fire eyes, but he cannot control the fire of the hearth. Hephestus and Apollo both make things, but the sun and the fire of a forge are NOT THE SAME!

AND THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING EVER! THAT IMMORTALS CAN BECOME MORTAL JUST BY LOVING TOO MUCH?! LIKE?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!

Tiny baby horns means First Class Protector…that’s not how horns work! Zeus cannot grant a satyr the ability to grow the thing that he’s supposed to grown naturally and say it’s a promotion.

I’m so glad you left the camp where I’m training people to hopefully not die because I clearly don’t care about your safety.

Can Annabeth PLEASE fight with her hair up. “But it makes her look cool and effeminate.” It also means she won’t be able to se when it flies in her face. Like there. And there. And just know.“I kicked him out” she said. And yet, she just keeps the fridge with Medusa’s head and sees no problem with that? Had no plans on killing him with it, just decided that was going to be a better roommate than Gabe? I mean, I guess this Medusa knows how to go down on a woman, but her head is kinda limp and gross.

[seriouslysam8]

I was just re reading this weeks Sneak peek, and I don't know why they stopped Sirius from hitting Snape. If I was there I would have been helping Sirius!

Snape has some nerve saying that Sirius got Lily and James killed, when he is the one that told Voldemort about the prophecy! All Sirius did was try to protect his friends, what Snape did was try to get a family killed (even thought he didn't know it was going to be the Potter's).

And something that I have been think about a lot lately has been the prophecy messed up two families, the Potter's and the Longbottom's. If Snape never told Voldemort about the prophecy than James and Lily would not have been killed and Frank and Alice would not have been tortured into insanity, leveeing Harry and Nevil to live normal and happy lives. But since Snape told Voldy about the prophecy Nevil and Harry both grew up without parents and they were the two students he decided to bully the most in their year! That is so messed up! Like it is not okay to bully any student, but the two you have caused so much pain to already!

Sorry to go on a rant, but I just hate Snape, and hate that he gets so much love in the fandom (I think people just love Alan Rickman). I just wanted to let you know that there is not one character in Brumous so far that I think is out of character from cannon and I am loving it.

Here’s the thing. They’re not kids anymore. They’re adults fighting in a war. Sirius showed tremendous restraint, not wanting to be seen as some reckless kid throwing punches. He’s made a lot of rash and stupid mistakes in his life and he’s trying to be a guardian that Harry is proud of and looks up to. Tegan and Remus are adults as well, not wanting to see some fistfight spat. Because Remus has been there and done that with Sirius when they were young and dumb. He doesn’t want it to happen again. The only one who was a fucking child was Snape. He’s the one who hasn’t shown any growth as a character: bullying children when he’s in an authority position and picking fights with old rivals.

I hate so much as well. And people do love Alan Rickman so I can see that being why people love Snape. But he’s gross and slimy and an immature asshole.

Thank you so much for the compliment! I’m glad you think everyone is in character. I’ve been slowly evolving Harry and Sirius to show some growth emotionally but also keeping them true to their original characters.

[the-marron]

20 questions writer meme.

I've seen it twice with 'whoever wants to do it, please feel tagged' so I am taking it as a sign. I also want to tag friends to see their replies, so let's go ~

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 144

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 1,261,968

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Guardian and Weilan Derivatives, I am considering trying Beyond Evil at some point. Before - DC Comics, Yu-Gi-Oh, Star Wars, Harry Potter, from the more notable ones

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

This one I already answered many times so I will allow myself to skip it this time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I love chatting with people and hearing their thoughts, and responding to them. I met some of my best fandom people like that, chatting under their fics or mine 🥰

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ughhh... Erm... that's a tough choice. Do we count stories where both of the characters die as good ending? We do, right?

Then it would be probably When I Make an Oath to the Flames (Guardian) because eternal separation is worse, right? Or maybe In Dreams You Lose Your Heartaches? (Yu-Gi-Oh) I like bad and/or bittersweet endings so it's really hard to choose.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Another good question. How do we quantify happiness? But if we go with the 'I fixed the character's terrible fate and gave them a good ending instead of it' then hmmm... Probably And We Mend Our Broken Wings (Harry Potter) series, because some people not only survived, they even went through a whole redemption arc.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

On fics as such not very often - I had a very notable 'good fic but the ending is so fucking stupid' comment in a bookmark, followed by 'it's great. I HATE it' on a different one, but nothing really, truly mean.

Got a lot of thoughtful feedback about writing, adjusting register to the character's manner of speech or just pointing out some mistakes, and those were usually rather nice and definitely needed.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No. No ideological reasons here, I just get bored with writing it, and it always shows when the writer is absolutely disinterested in what they are writing at the moment, so I just don't bother anymore. Fade to Black is my new best friend

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Oh, yes. The entire universe of weilan derivatives is based on crossovers. I enjoy crossovers a lot, provided I see some common points between the two original universes. The craziest one? Hmmmm... I am not sure? all of them are weird in their own right. But let's go with Murders and Mirrors because it features Bai Yu's variety show persona and an Evil Reflection from that one Zhu Yilong ad, all for crack reasons.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Parts of it copied and inserted into other people's fics, yes, all of it? No, thankfully.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, into Chinese, if I remember correctly!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Oh yes, and it's the best fun there is when it comes to writing for me!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Hard to choose really. Each time I meet a new ship that compels me, it gets added to the herd and it stays there. But out of sheer intensity of my feelings about this ship and how longterm my love for it is: BatCat

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a Luolin longfic idea that I am not good enough yet to attempt, not if I want to write it well. I would have to get better in many areas and to do lots of research to even try, so I am now just thinking about it fondly.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I would say I am flexible? I try to change styles and registers depending on what genre I am writing and which world/era the characters are, and I find it fun. I also have a lot of things that interest me at any given time so these interests filter through into my fics.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

White room, I never pay attention to what my characters eat and whether they actually have eaten anything in the span of the entire story, I tend to repeat certain words and not always notice the repetitions during the editing

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Sure, let's do it, but I would first ask someone who has greater knowledge than mine, to see if the dialogue sounds like something a person might say and not like an exercise from a textbook.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Either Harry Potter or Inuyasha, can't remember anymore which was first

20. Favorite fic you've written?

You can't make me pick a favourite child ;_;

Truly, no idea because it changes with time and with how much I've been thinking about this particular fic. I have some that I really liked but now I don't see anything special in them. I've had some that didn't seem special at all, but someone's excited comment made me see it in a very different light and appreciate it more.

Nothing to do with popularity here, just usually I am not touched emotionally by what I write, so someone else interacting with my stories gives me some semblance of feeling some way about them.

My all time favourites are always stories I wrote with someone else, because the story itself is a record of the good times we had together when working on it, plus usually I simply like them better as stories.

Finally, the part I am doing this all for!

Tagging: @babischlong-six, @omaenanimonoda, @mjsakurea, @elenothar, @the-cookie-of-doom, @yilian0203 and if you are reading it and want to try do it too, please do and tag me, I would love to see more replies!

[orionsangel86]

I don't often ever really talk about these things but like, does anyone else have MAJOR franchise fatigue?

Marvel, Star Wars, Disney, HARRY FUCKING POTTER

I am so done with them all.

I'm gonna rant about Harry Potter for a bit. Fair warning.

I got tired of Harry Potter well over 10 years ago. The final movies hadn't even been released and because I have the disadvantage of living in bloody England Harry Potter bullshit has been EVERYWHERE for TWO FUCKING DECADES. I remember my friend dragging me to the studio tour because she got tickets for her bday. I like movie BTS stuff but my god the amount of BUY THIS BUY THAT that gets shoved in your face drove me mad. Proud to say that other than the OG books I read when I was a teenager I have never owned a single bit of HP merchandise in my LIFE. It took my irl friends bullying me to finally go on pottermore and get sorted into a Hogwarts house when I was 27. TWENTYSEVEN. I resisted for years!! I don't even care. They sat me down and made me log on to that stupid website and take the stupid quiz whilst I raised an eyebrow the whole time and tried to smile and pretend it was fun. After all, I'm not actually a total bitch and they are my friends and were enjoying themselves and I didn't wanna upset them. But why do I need to know if I'm a hufflepuff or whatever? Oh thats right, so I can buy the appropriate MERCHANDISE.

You know real witches make their wands? They go out and find a tree and ask the tree if they can take a branch, you have to give the tree something back and say a blessing. You can add crystals or ribbon or whatever you want but a wand is NOT something you buy in a bloody shop. I hate that HP made kids think that.

Why would anyone wanna buy a game about a nearly 3 decade old franchise thats been shoved in all our faces practically our whole lives (if you are a millennial or younger). Im not a gamer anyway so I don't get the appeal but even without all the transphobia and antisemitism involved the whole concept is extremely tiresome to me.

Can we please be done with Harry Potter now??? I dont wanna see it. I dont wanna see anything about it. I didnt give a fuck when I was in my early twenties and I dont give a fuck now in my late thirties its never been any fucking good. Its a rip off of Lord of the rings crossed with the writing of Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman anyway.

For years I felt awkward even mentioning to people that I didnt like Harry Potter, like it was a cardinal sin or something. I'm glad people are finally seeing it for what it truly it, even though I wish it didnt take the lives and rights of transpeople to get to this point. Its disgusting that its still so damn popular even WITH JKRs blatant transphobia. I hope the boycotts work. Trans and Jewish people you have my love and support, for both your sakes and so that bloody franchise can stop being shoved in my face everytime I leave the bloody house. Im glad people are finally picking it apart and realising how problematic it was. Things I think made me uncomfortable about it before I really understood the depth of reasons why.

I have been obsessed with witchcraft and paganism since I was a child. I was a weird kid. Harry Potter turned something I was passionate about in a deeply personal way into a consumerist nightmare. Witch became synonymous with it, spells, charms, magic, I'm honestly surprised JKR didnt try to copyright the terms.

Look I dont often talk about social issues. My tumblr is my escape from the injustices of the world and I take my mental health very seriously. But I support trans and jewish people in boycotting this game.

I care about trans rights, about the rights of LGBTQA+ people. The rise of antisemitism AGAIN deeply disturbs me. People truly never learn from history do they? I try to do my bit where I can offline. I have signed petitions, I have donated to causes where I have found them and I am most definitely gonna do my damndest to get everyone I know to vote the transphobic (and otherwise generally evil in every way) Tory government OUT at the next election.

This rant may come across a bit selfish. It is tbh. I am fucking glad Harry Potter isnt popular anymore. Though outside of online communities particularly in the UK its still huge and everywhere. I wish we could wipe it off the face of the Earth.

I am fed up of all these franchises though. If I never have to sit through another Marvel movie it'll be a happy day. If I never have to hear the fucking Star Wars theme again I'll celebrate, if I never have to read about another Disney remake again Ill be so relieved (although I do get some satisfaction reading about them flopping). This post capitalism hellscape we exist in is fucking exhausting.

What we really need to do with these franchises though is pull an Avatar on them (the blue people not the cool cartoon). We need to stop talking about them. Stop letting them infect our collective cultural consciousness. The only way to get them out of our faces is to actually let them die. We did it right with Fantastic Beasts. We can do it again. Remember that in capitalism, even negative press is good press, and the more the press focuses on the controversies and discourse, the more the name of the game is getting into the minds of consumers, especially those that dont give a fuck about trans rights or antisemitism.

I dont know where it ends, but my god I hope it HAS an end. Something surely has got to give right? Anyways. I dunno if there was a point to this rant other than im fed up of a lot of things and feeling particularly grumpy today, but anyways. Boycott Harry Potter and all things related to it.

Support trans rights. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Enough of this bullshit already.