#this is why i cant say my age on instagram like probably ever i think. bc the ppl i talked to there follow me there and. theyll find out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

transhoverfish · 3 years ago

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I FOUND IT

Like I get where this person is comming from but when Ryley landed on 4546B Bart would be 29

I think that the game made it very clear that the Degasi crashed a decade before Aurora and Bart was 19 at that time.. which means (in combination of Subnautica lore and math) that IF Bart survived the 10 long years he would obviously age up

Maybe reading the PDAs is something that should be done even if you wouldn't get addicted to the game... just saying🤷🏻‍♀️

[I just remembered that I saw someone on Instagram ranting about how shipping Ryley and Bart is weird (or 'fucked up', I don't remember exactly what they said) because Ryley is like 25-30 or something like that and Bart is 19 and I was like "do your math pls" So yeah... I ended up laughing for like 5 minutes (Too bad I didn't take a screenshot)]

yeah ok i get the concern here but like yeah as you said!! this isnt like one of those "taking a 15yo and aging them up to 18 to make them legal", bart's already 19, and he's 19 a DECADE before the events of the game, including any possibility of meeting ryley.

assuming ryley is 25-30 - which his age is never mentioned either, so for all we know, ryley could be 19 himself!! - but we're gonna assume he's 22-30 based on his job, general appearance and maturity in a high stress situation. in the ten years that pass between bart and ryley EVER crossing paths, bart would be 26-31, give or take a few years for that mentioned decade to be possibly rounded.

bart could be OLDER than ryley for all we know. worse case, these guys can't have more than like, maybe a 6 year age gap. and that's entirely dependent on someone's personal reading of ryley. his age is NEVER mentioned or hinted at. the youngest he could be is 18. oldest maybe 40. but who's to say?? it's never brought up!

taking the decade jump into account though,, yeah ryley and bart are like the same age. they're probably within 5 years of each other, both in their late twenties by the events of sub1. its just the time skip between the degasi and aurora that creates this weird "Bart's 19, Ryley's 26" mentality.

like an example off the top of my head would be like, saying you cant ship nathan drake with chloe because they show nate as a kid a couple of times. kind of arbitrary.

but on the other hand, yeah, i guess this ship is founded on bart's 19 year old personality. which is weird at face value now that im thinking about it. but even then, ryley doesn't have a personality to begin with, outside survival knowledge. and bart clearly isn't some super naive child; he goes through some massive maturing character development just over the span of the months the degasi were all alive. bart can clearly take care of himself and speak up on problems, and we don't know if he had another birthday after the crash or not. we don't know exactly how long the degasi were there! or how long they had been in space prior! bart could have been 20 when he died, he was definitely an adult by that point. young, but cmon.

if anybody is shipping bart in degasi era, where he's like explicitly 19, ie shipping him with marg, then YEAH thats obviously a problem. but ryley/bart is, in my experience, almost always written in a bart lives story where he spends 10 more years maturing before being introduced to ryley.

they're,,,, they're the same age. almost always, if theres some odd story out there making it not always, expressly written where bart is nearly 30, making him typically older than ryley. the central idea with this person's take is that bart is not, and should not, be written as his Recent Post-Crash self. bart is Post Reaper Incident, and gets added several more years on top of that. i think it's a misconstruction on the lore/fandom ideas of ages, but otherwise not a horrible thing to point out ig??

(some of the bart ships DEFINITELY NEED TO BE LOOKED INTO. ryley is like, the most tame option, and thankfully why its likely the most popular!)

#ok i wrote a whole ass thesis there huh #i have to awake at like 6 am tomrrow and here i am. explaining bart/ryley to people who probably already agree with me #and if you dont agree and think the screenshotted person is right: i guess i appreciate the reading this far?#like thats a lot of attempting to get my take. youd have to be p open minded and patient.#or maybe just determined #idk #POINT IS #i really dont think theres much wrong w the ship past face value #they dont canonically meet and they only time they feasibly could is when theyre both adults #and bart is typically intended to be this adult in fanfics #in my own i try to go out of my way to express bart's grown since the degasi. hes like 28 in my fic i think?? 29??#i have khasar still think of him as a child in the first one and paul do the same in awa #just to show how bart has changed since they last saw him #bc hes not a kid anymore! he was barely a kid by the time paul dies anyways!#he went through a lot and matured v quickly #like yeah thats fucked up but bart is clearly matured and a badass LONG before ryley crashes #that personality and version of him as a young adult who can live on his own with limited struggles is the one reflected in most fics #esp ones that ship him with someone else #but then again. what do i know? im not ur mom or dad. im just some guy on the internet weighing in #problems like this arent gonna be resolved by some fanfic writer on tumblr #and my probably biased view isnt adding anything of note #and im tired and not thinking very much on this #so maybe im wrong #and maybe im not #well im running out of tags and im probably making this more convoluted than it needs to be #so uh. tldr: no ryley/bart are likely around the same age and bart matures enough by the time he dies that its fine anyways #dont get confused by the game's timeline consisting of several million years. there's a ten year skip. dont panic about it. bart is like 30 #bart torgal #ryley robinson #subnautica spoilers

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isolemnlyswear · 4 years ago

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hello! can i request a modern marauder (you pick) x popstar!fem!reader (while they're still in hogwarts) to the song breathin by ariana grande as if it were the reader's song? <3 <3

breathin

a/n : this is the most specified request i've ever gotten, so it's kinda shitty ! i really have never wrote anything like this - at all - and i didn’t know if the reader was meant to be a muggle or not ????????? so i made them not one. bc you’re anon i cant ask you questions abt your request, so next time please specify!

continued a/n : wow, this is interesting. i dont like it, but !!! hope u enjoy????

warnings : swearing, bad writing

taglist : @oldschoolkiddo @amourtentiaa @anchoeritic @faeinorbit @tomriddleswifey @inks-and-jinx @jxsperhxle @punkrific @the-gazette-of-tea @krasivayadarling @orifortheweeknd @fallin-4-ya @incxndio @daisyyy2516 @hoe4cedricdiggory @vsawyer1989

Remus sighed, glaring at the raven-haired boy beside him.

“What, s’gonna be fun!” Sirius grins, and the lycanthrope who’s refuting him simply laughs.

“Fun? Your idea of fun is a packed concert - full of muggles, nonetheless - for this...popstar woman?” Remus says incredulously, and Sirius raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, ho, ho, this is not any popstar, Moony. Plus, what else are we gonna do over the summer? Sulk around at your parents’ house?” Sirius grins again, and Remus lets out a sigh.

“The latter I can agree with. But who is this girl, anyway?” Remus inquires, and Sirius reaches into his back pocket to acquire his phone. Although Hogwarts doesn't allow modern technology, both Sirius and Remus have their own each for the summers. With how phone-centered the modern world is, they couldn't not.

He swipes through to find a picture of you - one obtained from your Instagram, which has over four million followers - and holds it up to Remus.

“Merlin,” he breathes, eyes scanning the image.

You're wearing a brown leather dress, the shoulders poking up just barely. Your hair is framing your face, legs tucked under you in a half-crouch, and you're looking into the camera with lips perfectly parted. It was one you took for the shoot of your newest album, and a particular favorite of yours.

“Gorgeous, right? She’s really talented, as well.” Sirius grins, looking at his best friend, who is unresponsive, with eyes glued on the screen. “Moony?” he waves a hand over the brunette’s face, who snaps out of his trance.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure.” Remus says, blinking a few too many times.

“So, you up for it now?”

“Alright,” Remus replies, nodding at Sirius, who pumps his fists into the air with a grin.

“She's American, but doing a show in London in a few weeks,” Sirius informs, smiling.

“American, huh? How old is she?” Remus asks, settling back into the couch they're perched on.

“That's the best part. She's our age - just turned eighteen.” Sirius grins again, putting his phone away.

“Oh yeah? You say that like she'd notice us. Never gonna happen, Pads.” Remus smiles, shaking his head.

“Expect the unexpected, mon amie.”

---

You're fiddling anxiously with your fingers, hands out of use as someone else is doing your makeup, rather than yourself.

“Almost done, Miss L/N,” Madelyn, your makeup artist, says, brushing a soft highlighter over your cheekbones.

“Mads, I told you that you can call me Y/N. You only do my makeup every day,” you say, closing your eyes as the woman pats highlighter into your inner corner.

“And...” she mists your face with setting spray, “...Done!”

---

About four hours later, your back is facing the crowd that's piled into the venue, stage lights shut off as only the sounds of quiet murmurs and shuffling feet hit your ears.

And then, the lights come on with a thumping click, and you begin the routine that you've practiced time and time again.

The music to your first song, the least vocally challenging of the set, begins, and you turn around with a sway of your hips.

Holding the mic to your mouth, you begin a one-step, two-step rhythm, one that's second nature to you; your eyes survey the crowd, left hand reaching to flip your hair.

The tune changes, and the beat is faster, now, as the lights begin to flash and your voice, in a habitual fashion, changes to match. You stride out rhythmically to the center of the stage.

You crouch in a fluid movement, thankful for the coverage your outfit gives you. It's a black sparkling jumpsuit, bottoms being a high-waisted, glimmering fabric with two side flaps, connected at your stomach to a matching corset-like top.

After a few minutes of usual song/dance routines, followed by cheers from the crowd, you decide it's time for a crowd interaction. It's difficult, resisting the urge to pull out your wand and cast a silencing charm to get the group's attention, but you opt for speech, instead.

"Alright, alright, everybody," you say into the mic with a laugh, eyes scanning the crowd for someone to converse with.

There's one man - his ebony hair is swishing as he speaks - who's bouncing up and down like an eager dog, and you laugh.

"We all excited to be here? In London!" you say, garnering numerous cheers and screams from the group.

"I can tell you are." You walk over to the raven-haired boy, who's in front row, and crouch down. He'd previously cheered extremely loud, confirming his excitement.

The boy makes a loud whoop'ing noise, getting a laugh from his friend.

His friend.

You continue to speak, walking over to someone else, but now your eyes are glued on him.

He looks about your age, with beautifully disheveled sandy brown hair and chocolate eyes. He has numerous scars littering his face, some new and red, some older and whitening.

You can't help but wonder what the scars are from, and you feel a strange attachment to the boy, though you've never spoken before.

And after a while, it's time for your final song. About a thirds of the way through, at your favorite part, you meander back over to the boys.

You lean over, disguising your position as a simple concert move, but you're really staring into the brunette's eyes.

"You remind me of a time when things weren't so complicated." The words fall from your mouth effortlessly, and you're able to search the boy's eyes as you sing. There's a spark in them, a glimmer of light that pulls you in.

"All I need is to see your face." You sing, still singing almost directly to the brunette.

You need to see more of him, you suddenly think. And you continue to sing the song, but all that swims around in your brain is a plan. A plan to erase the mystery behind the boy.

The show comes to a close, but before everyone has left, you pull your manager aside.

"Hey, Martin, this- this is an odd request, but could you ask these two boys to come backstage? That sounds, um, interesting, but would y'mind-"

"What do they look like?" Martin interrupts you, and you sigh in relief.

"One has longer black hair, and the other... sorta sandy brown hair, and some scars on his face. Can you find them from that?"

"I'll try."

You nod and thank him, running backstage to your small lounge and bathroom to await your mysterious visitors, changing quickly into clothes that are more comfortable; a simple silk dress, in a y/f/c hue, and a sweater to go over it.

You fiddle with your wand in your hands, mentally berating yourself.

It was quite a reckless decision, really. It's not like you had a valid reason for inviting these people to such a VIP space such as this. Just because you feel some weird connection to one of them didn't mean you could disregard everything. These boys are probably muggles, and you are not. Merlin, you're getting shipped off to Scotland next year after being home-schooled by your magical parents for eighteen years - just in time for your last year of school -going to a boarding school called Hogwarts (which would be a PR nightmare, but your parents insisted you needed some 'real-life experience').

But amidst your train of thought, you hear a knock at your door - two taps, three taps, your manager's code that it's okay to open the door - and you shove your wand into your (enlarged via Engorgio charm) pocket.

You stride over to the door, fiddling with the hem of your sweater, and open it to see Martin.

"Here they are, Miss L/N." He steps to the side to reveal the two boys, the darker-haired male standing in front, and you refrain from gasping when he steps forward, allowing you full view of the other boy.

The scars on his face are glimmering in the light, and his eyes are warm, pulling you in with every glance. His hair is perfectly tousled, and he's tall, over six foot two, or so you'd guess.

"Come in," you say, stepping aside to allow them entrance. You nod to Martin, signalling him to leave, and he does so, shutting the door and leaving you with the pair.

"Holy shit," the raven-haired boy says, and you realize he's only slightly shorter, about an inch less.

You laugh slightly, gesturing for them to sit down.

"Why are we back here?" the shorter one says, and you smile. He's made himself comfortable, seemingly the more outgoing, but the other one is still standing awkwardly beside you.

"You can relax, I'm not interrogating you," you say, smiling at the taller boy, who seems to let out a breath. "Why don't you introduce yourselves, and then we can talk, okay?"

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black." The boy runs a hand through his dark hair, grinning.

"Ah, like the constellation? Brightest star in the sky," you say, and he nods.

"I'm, um, Remus. Remus Lupin," the other boy says tentatively, offering a smile.

"Hi, Remus," you say, nodding. "I don't want to assume you know my name, I'm aware you're not American, but considering you're at this concert-"

"Of course, we know your name, we're British, not daft," Sirius says with a playful scoff, and you laugh. "You're Y/N."

"That I am," you say with a giggle, and Remus grins. Your heart stops for a moment, the world coming to a halt as his eyes meet yours.

Sirius clears his throat, and a blush spreads onto the apples of your cheeks. You gulp, looking down.

"So, you didn't answer my question," Sirius starts, tilting his head, but Remus kicks his shin.

"Pads, chill," he whispers, shaking his head. Sirius shakes his head, looking at you.

"It's fine, really. 'M not that interesting, no need to be uptight," you say, smiling again.

"I'd beg to differ," Remus breathes.

After what feels like no time at all, but is really three hours, you've gotten any and all formalities out of the way. Well, all but one - you're still unsure if they're muggles, and they don't know that you're a witch, either.

That is, until Remus gets up to go to the restroom, and something tumbles out of his pocket.

Your first thought is how did something that long fit in a jean pocket, but then you see what it is.

It's a wand, about ten inches, cypress wood, with a small bulb at the end of it. You gasp, and Remus goes pale, stumbling to pick it up.

"Is that-" you start, but Sirius cuts you off.

"It's nothing," he says quickly, but you shake your head.

"That's a wand," you say slowly, and Remus is wide-eyed, nervously fidgeting.

"It-"

"No, no, no," you say, reaching into the pocket of your sweater and pulling out your own. Sirius and Remus simultaneously gasp as you brandish it in your hands, and you grin.

"You're a witch?" Remus asks, jaw slack.

"You're a wizard?" you return, raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck yeah we are!" Sirius says, and you grin.

"What school?" Remus inquires, and you purse your lips.

"I was home-schooled, but this year - for my last one - I'm going to this school called Hogwarts? D'you know it?" you explain, garnering another gasp from the pair.

"That's where we go," Remus says, and your eyes light up.

"Really?!" you ask excitedly.

"Yeah! I guess you'll have some friends when you get there, at least," Remus assures, grinning.

"I bet Remus wishes you had a boyfriend to greet you," Sirius says, disguised with some coughs, and you blush. Remus kicks his friend in the shin again, and turns to you with a sigh.

"Sorry, he doesn't know what he's talking about," he says, and you raise an eyebrow.

"Does he not?" you ask flirtatiously, and it's Remus's turn to blush.

"Uh-"

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" you say with a mischievous grin, one returned by the sandy-haired boy in front of you.

#remus lupin x reader #wolfstar #sirius black x reader #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #marauders

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luvskywalker · 4 years ago

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tis the damn season- peter parker x reader

word count- 3.6k

warnings- mentions of injury, language, insecurity

a/n: the timeline is kinda weird, peter + reader are about 19, but civil war and endgame never happened, the avengers defeated thanos in infinity war, so there is no blip. it kinda makes sense, i explain it a little, but the main focus is the relationship! i hope you all enjoy this one, it took me a while because i didn’t know just how i wanted to bring peter and the reader together. feel free to request something or leave feedback!!💞

god, you had missed new york. especially the cold that always fogged up your window glass and that forced you into wearing socks to sleep like a heathen, and the wind chill that made you want nothing more than a warm drink and a nice movie.

you had missed upstate the most, the clearer and less crowded air, the serenity that can only be found there, and most importantly your family.

it had been a year since you’d left for los angeles, going on a mission to bring down a branch of HYDRA that had been implanted in the golden state itself. the job wasn’t easy, but no one could keep you away from taking it. you missed your family. it put a heartache in you, and it also gave a certain brunette boy one too.

peter parker had liked you since the day he met you. it was his freshman year, and you were in his study hall. you barely even spoke to him, yet he had swiftly become captivated by the perfume you wore, the way you parted your hair, every single quirk that made you who you were. you’d like his posts on instagram or even text him (though that was quite rare, you’d probably texted him once in the four years he’d known you), and he swore his heart bursted every time you did. when he found out you left for california, he couldn’t help the heartache that followed. he spent each day hoping and wishing to every star for your safety, and they were all answered when you pulled up to the avengers compound on a cold december day.

you swiftly pulled the black audi in front of the cabin that was the closest thing to a home you’d get. it was where tony had raised you since he had adopted you, where you came to be a normal family for.. well... whenever you had the time. he knew you were there, he always seemed to know things before they even happened, claiming he had a “sixth sense” though you were sure it was just friday.

you got out of the car with the brightest grin on

your face, noticing his presence on the porch of the home.

“is that my dad or is that a woodland creature? cant seem to tell the difference!”

you were, in every way but blood, his daughter.

he rolled his eyes but you didn’t miss the small smile as he rushed you into the house, and you could tell he was in his mother hen mode.

“what about my bags?”

“get them later, there’s someone i want you to meet.”

you were now curious, who could have him in this much of a rush?

he lead you into the large living room of the home, just for you to see peter parker sitting quite uncomfortably on the couch.

“peter?” you tilted your head to the side, confused as to how your dad knew peter.

guess i missed a lot, you thought.

“wait” your dad paused, looking between you and peter accusingly “how do you two know eachother?”

you knew what he was assuming and peter just looked confused.

“NO not like that, dad” you started frantically, because no you did not know peter like that.

peter joined the conversation suddenly,

“he’s your dad?” he said quietly at the same time you spoke, surprise and confusion evident.

“so how do you two know eachother?”

your dad ended the chaos of the conversation, and peter explained for you.

“we used to go to school together, until she graduated early.”

you nodded along with his quick explanation and your dad let out a sigh of relief.

you had graduated high school three years early, and though you didn’t have many friends, you kept in touch with peter over the years. it baffled you that he never seemed to put the pieces together, i mean (y/n) starr wasn’t exactly the most incognito cover name, and your face was plastered over at least one magazine a week for both your hero persona inferno and your civilian self.

“for a second i was worried.. nevermind.” tony said, waving his hand at the now ridiculous thought.

you knew what he thought and you laughed at his small outburst.

“so why is peter parker here?”

“he’s spider-man.”

oh.

“what? peter parker is spider-man??”

the boy in question looked at you now, offended that you were acting like him being spider-man was the most ridiculous thing you had ever heard.

tony simply rolled his eyes, used to your theatrics because well, you got them from him.

“just told you he was, kid. you’re going to train him as long as you’re over here, the team figured you’re the best suited because of your age.”

great.

you had said peter parker was your friend, and that much was at least sort of true, but you came to new york for a break. you’ve been working nonstop for the better part of a year. however, you brushed off your disappointment because at least you didn’t have to train with natasha.

“sounds good. want to head over there now peter?”

he glanced up from the carpet he seemed to find very interesting.

“yeah, that sounds fine.” he said, nodding quite eagerly.

“see you kids later. glad you’re home, mini me.”

you gave your father one last hug and a smile before taking the bag by the door that you know has most of your gear in.

peter followed you into the audi, marvelling at the interior that you had customized yourself. you were such a stark, peter noted in his head, unbeknownst to you.

“so what are your powers?”

you could feel him look at you, almost confused as to why you were asking. haven’t you heard of spider-man?

“i like to hear coming from you, rather than just assuming.” you said, glancing away from the road just briefly to offer him a smile.

“no one has ever really asked before, they all seem to know already.” he returned your smile, and you felt for him. you knew what it was like- when you had first displayed your powers everyone seemed to know more about you than you yourself did.

“well i’m asking” you said, smile still present, “what can you do, spider-boy?”

you watched him run his hands down the leg of his jeans nervously.

why was he so nervous?

“um,” he started, still fidgeting with the leg of his jeans, “i have super strength, and i can shoot webs out of my hands?”

that much you knew, but it still piqued your interest.

“have you ever tested how strong the webs are?”

his head tilted slightly and he reminded you of a puppy when it did.

“no, but i think they’re pretty strong, i mean i did the thing with the ferry a couple years ago.”

you almost forgot about that. almost.

“what’s your favorite part about all this? it can be a little overwhelming and weird, but it’s still fun most of the time.”

he nodded at that, agreeing with you.

“i don’t know, really. i started out being a friendly neighborhood spider-man, i refused the avengers offer mr. stark gave me, and then the stuff in space happened and now i’m here.”

you nodded along with his explanation.

“i’m so glad i was in wakanda instead of up there.”

you had been allowed to visit wakanda on both an invite from king t’challa and stark industries business, and during your extended stay you also had to defeat an ugly and angry grape guy.

“wait, you went to wakanda? what was it like?” his nervousness was slowly fading away as you got him to open up a little more.

you spent the rest of the drive to the facility geeking out about wakandan technology and the things shuri has created.

you parked in your personal spot, making a note that steve’s car was parked in his own spot, meaning both he and bucky were here, and nat’s motorcycle was here as well.

“looks like you’ll get to meet some of the team too!” you said, eager to say hi to natasha and america’s favorite duo.

“as long as they’re as nice as you i’ll be fine.” he told you with a smile that you thought shone brighter than the sun and you ignored the way your heart fluttered at the comment.

you lead him into the facility, running into steve and bucky along the way, introducing the three, and after the introduction the fossils adopted the nickname queens for peter.

“they’re so boring.” you spoke, fighting to suppress a smile. you didn’t actually think that, you were really close to steve and bucky, you just liked to make fun of them.

he looked at you questioningly.

“do you not like them?”

he then noticed you trying not to laugh and realized you were only joking.

you showed peter around the facility, as well as showing him everyone’s rooms, stopping outside each door for him to see without invading the privacy of your fellow avengers.

natasha strutted out of her room down the hall, like the drama queen she is.

“hey kid, welcome back sparkles.” she sent you a smirk, and then walked by just as quickly as she came.

you turned to look at peter.

“hi natasha” you said, rolling your eyes at her nickname of choice.

“why did she call you sparkles?” he asked through a small laugh. he didn’t know? it was kind of obvious.

“i’ll show you later, let me show you my room!”

you loved your room in the facility, and you grabbed peter’s hand to eagerly lead him down the hall to your room.

it was then that both you and peter decided you both liked the feeling you got when you had grabbed his hand.

you showed him into your room and he looked around curiously.

“you have a cat?”

the little white cat sat atop a plethora of pillows at the top of your bed and blinked at you.

“no, that’s bucky’s little monster, alpine. she’s not supposed to be in here.”

peter just smiled at the cat, stroking her fur softly.

“i like your room, it’s super ni-“ he cut himself off, “hey is that a star wars poster?”

you could feel yourself flush with the warmth of embarrassment.

“the empire strikes back is my favorite movie!”

you breathed a sigh of relief, he wasn’t going to make fun of you.

“it’s mine too!” you said, a big smile on your face. “the poster is signed!”

you both shared your excitement at your signed empire strikes back poster, and you even offered to get him one.

“i could never accept that, (y/n).” he said, shaking his head.

“good thing i’m not giving you a choice” you replied, smirking at him.

and that was the kickstart of an even closer friendship with you and the brunette hero.

you bounced back from los angeles and new york quite frequently the past eleven months. because of your success with the HYDRA mission given by SHIELD, and wanted you in their west coast division more often. you went away to california at least twice a month.

now, however, you sat in a nice apartment in queens, a popcorn bag popping between the warmth of your hands. you still remember the day peter found out about your powers.

“look.” you had said, and then your finger lit up, just like a candle.

“how did you do that?” he asked you, not even considering the fact that those were your powers.

“i can set things on fire, with my mind and with...” you paused, and then your whole hand started to glow red. “myself.”

“like a super-arsonist?”

“i mean, i guess you could say that.”

“wait! you’re inferno???”

when the popcorn was done popping, you passed it to peter before getting up from the couch quickly. peter grasped your forearm and you thought your heart would bust out of your chest because of the contact.

“what’s up?” he asked with a small head tilt and a furrow of his brow.

“i just have to go get something, pete” you reassured him with a smile, before walking over to his room to get your bag, trying to calm yourself down because he could probably hear your heart pounding.

inside was a tiny little cylindrical package wrapped in paper with your superhero self all over it.

you grabbed the mini item and sized it back up using a disc you’d borrowed from scott. you took a deep breath before walking back to the living area and your movie.

“merry christmas peter!” you said, a huge smile on your face.

“what is this?” he was surprised, you could tell.

“open it!!” you slid back onto the couch next to him and handed him the wrapped box.

when your hand touched his, peter willed himself to relax because you’re his best friend but also you’re so pretty and you smell like literally everything nice ever created in the universe. he snapped himself out of it, blushing a little at his inner monologue before grabbing the gifts from you.

“you know christmas isn’t for two weeks right?” you could hear the nervousness in his voice and you wondered why. why was he so nervous?

“tis the damn season, i say.” you said with an over the top arm swing, he just rolled his eyes at your antics.

“just open it already, before i” you raised your voice now, because may was in her room down the hall, “tell may about the time you-“

“okay i’ll open it!” he rushed out, covering your mouth with his hand before you could finish because he did not need aunt may knowing about that.

your chest heaved a little at the touch, and his hand was pulled away quickly. you noticed his face flush red and his breathing become a little quick, but brushed it off as him being worried you’d tell may.

“i like the wrapping paper by the way.” he commented, giving you a smirk that made your body swarm with butterflies.

when he opened it, an empire strikes back poster was revealed, complete with signatures from all the actors.

you saw his face light up and his mouth part in shock, and you’d give the world to see him that happy every single day.

but you didn’t need to, because for peter, just having you was all he needed.

“no way” he gasped, shaking his head a little with a smile of disbelief on his face.

“(y/n), you didn’t!”

you just smiled. it was then that peter swept you up into his arms, giving you a hug that made both of your hearts race.

but, good moments never last forever.

the next day, you were sent to athens on a mission with natasha and steve, one that might not let you be back for christmas.

you had completed the mission in time, done the day before christmas eve, but that doesn’t mean you finished it well.

it went messy, and both you and natasha sported a few gashes, but steve took the worst of it, always the gentleman. it also took a toll on you, being gone for two weeks was nothing abnormal, but it was what was said over those weeks that bothered you.

“oh little stark, you’ll never be their real family. you aren’t even a real avenger!”

it wasn’t true. you were one of the more original avengers, being taken on the team despite your dads worries, and you were their real family. but it still hurt you, it still stuck with you, replaying over and over in your mind as you tried not to let the words tear you apart.

you flew the quinjet the fastest it’s ever been flown, and debriefed with fury at SHIELD, letting steve and natasha go to the lab for some patching up.

when you got back to the compound, peter was the first person you saw. you walked over to him, and he brought you into his arms. it made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, something you needed after the mission.

peter could see how down you looked and he hated it, so did all he knew how to do.

he held onto you tight, not saying anything to you, just providing the support you needed.

you knew the insecurities you had were a little silly, but you also knew that it was okay to feel like this, because even the strongest avengers have bad days. it made you feel more human, even though it also made you feel a little sad.

peter brought you comfort in this moment, whispering things that made your heart soar even if you knew they were just him being a good friend.

“you’re the best friend i could ever ask for.”

you smiled into his chest, and pulled yourself away, albeit reluctantly, from his hold.

“thanks peter” you said, more soothed now.

“i needed that. you really are an amazing person.”

he put his arm around your shoulders, giving you a little side hug.

“only for you.” he said, giving you a wink, one that you rolled your eyes at.

the day flew by, as it always seems to after a mission. the three of you sent off healed up quickly, just in time for the gift exchange you always forced everyone into on christmas eve.

after the exchange, you took your newly keychain-filled keys (thanks to nat, clint, sam, and bucky) and drove home. peter had left early, hitching a ride from your dad, which was a little odd to you but you brushed it off.

when you got home, all you saw was pepper on the couch with an excited smile on her face and a wave in greeting, and then you heard tony but lost your sight due to a black cloth being wrapped around your eyes.

“mom, what is he doing to me?”

you heard her laugh at your comment.

“just let him lead you, honey.”

you wished she and tony could see you roll your eyes.

he guided you up the stairs, telling you when to step so you wouldn’t fall, and you were quickly ushered into your room.

“why do i need this thing anyway?” you inquired, but the question was dropped when you felt someone new untie the blindfold.

peter.

you blinked your eyes a couple times, adjusting again to the environment of the room.

“is peter supposed to be a surprise? should i act surprised?”

the situation was a little confusing, no one was surprising you with a gift; tony and pep always waited until christmas, and you and peter exchanged gifts at the compound.

so what was going on?

“peter is not the surprise.”

and with that, tony left the room. if your back wasn’t to him you would’ve saw him wink at peter, but you did see peter’s face start to flush.

weird, because tony never left the room for surprises. little did you know, tony has been desperately waiting for one of you to make a move on the other after watching you pine within your friendship, and when peter mentioned giving you a necklace and confessing his feelings he nearly jumped for joy.

“i’m not the surprise, but i have a surprise for you.”

he looked a little nervous, compared to his usual comfort around you, and his hands started to fidget with his pockets.

“what is it?” you questioned, looking up at him and realizing suddenly that he was really close, which made your heart start to beat a little faster.

you saw him reach into his pocket and suck in a breath.

“titanic was the first movie you watched with me, i remember you insisted on it because it was your favorite at the time,”

you were a little confused, so you just nodded, albeit a little dumbly.

“i also remember how you said you’d kill for a necklace like the one rose wore, and you talked about the history of what it was modeled after for a good ten minutes”

you laughed, but you didn’t know what he was leading up to.

“and i knew that you could talk to me about anything, for however long you’d want, and i’d listen, because i got to see that look on your face when you were excited about something”

he was smiling at you as he reached into his pocket.

“peter parker i swear to god if you pull out a replica of that necklace i will kill you. or kiss you. or both.”

he laughed, and held out the palm of his hand, which lie a necklace that looked exactly like the blue hope diamond, and your mouth parted in shock.

“holy shit.”

“i, uh, wanted to give you something special, to show how special you are to me.”

you felt your eyes well up with tears at his words, and you smiled as he clasped the necklace around your neck.

recalling your words from moments ago, you took in a breath for confidence.

“i think i owe you a kiss.” you said, still smiling.

“as long as you don’t kill me after.”

and with that you pressed your lips against his, feeling your body ignite but not like when you were using your powers. this was a warmth in your heart.

peter kissed you and he swore it was the happiest moment of your life.

you kissed him with everything you had, bringing your hands around his neck.

it was like you fit together perfectly, and one would even say two hearts became one in that moment, but for you that was far too cliche.

you separated reluctantly, and you both smiled at each other. the smile you shared was worth a million words.

“tis the damn season, i guess.” you heard tony and pepper giggle like children outside the door that was half open, and the four of you laughed.

—

“peter, how did you even afford that necklace?”

he looked at you with a cheeky grin.

“turns out inferno is celine dion’s favorite superhero.”

your jaw dropped.

“kid, you’ll catch flies.”

“thanks for the warning dad.”

#marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel #spiderman #spiderman x you #spiderman x reader #tony stark is a good dad #x reader #imagine #peter parker #peter is adorable #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #i am very proud of this.#taylor swift #tis the damn season #christmas feels even thought it’s march

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nako-doodles · 3 years ago

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check in tag 😌

tagged by the cutest babes @jaehyukkies @gimbapchefs @taesjpg @joenns @honsool @taehyungq @himbojin @jiminswn & @kimtaegis mwah! ✨✨

1. Why did you choose your url?

namjoon bought a duck mold, ventured out into a snowy day in winter, and gave me the greatest tweet i have ever seen

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them

the day i gain the ability to wrangle more than one blog ill let yall know

3. How long have you’ve been on tumblr?

*starts calculating time furiously and almost burns out her single braincell* ive been here since like freshman year high school.....so............2010? 2011? ive deleted and restarted like 3 times tho so.........also you can calculate my exact age now (as if I dont have my age on my carrd aiowgjiorajgo)

4. Do you have a queue tag?

no we dont tag we just chaos in this house *finger guns*

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

i took a break from tumblr and kpop and then decided I wanted to make a bts blog out of the blue

6. Why did you choose your icon?

i drew all these tiny snow ducks i might as well capitalize on them yknow? really embrace my duck persona (Kim Namjoon witness the person you have made me)

7. Why did you choose your header?

honestly my entire blog brand at this point can be narrowed down to the hour ish (probably) joon spent wrangling snow into duck molds, placing them together for the twt, and captioning them ducktan sonyeondan (im on the look out for new ideas im ready for a change lmk if you have ideas 🥰)

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

i think its this post?? of the babies on rollerblades from that one iconic dynamite stage. and on that note tumblr should be able to let me filter based on note count instead of forcing me to rely one my shoddy terrible no good math skills. asking me to compare numbers bigger than 0? despicable.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

absolutely no fucking clue 🥰🥰🥰 i do love them to the moon (Kim Seokjin) and back tho!!!!

10. How many followers do you have?

ngl its still wild for me that even one of yall follow me thank you 🥺🥺🥺 its a great honor that you have bestowed upon me

11. How many people do you follow?

303 bc I like it when numbers are palindromes and also bc im bad at checking new blogs

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

would like you to direct you to my #shirley you cant be serious.txt tag

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

i try my best to “clean out” my blog (reply to my dms/askbbox, check out my mentions, scroll for new content i may have missed etc.) in the mornings and evenings when i have the time. ive been kinda bad at this lately bc its been hectic here in shirley headquarters but ill get to everyone soon I promise!! (this sounds like bad. its not!!! its just that leaving things stresses me out? like how i like replying to texts as soon as i see them or reply emails as fast as i can. ‘unresolved’ correspondence feels rude.)

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

no im the type to unfollow/block/ignore if someone did or said something i dont agree with without a word

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i get the need for those signal boost posts and promulgating important information but (and this is going to sound selfish) tumblr is my destress zone. i go here when the world is being overwhelming and terrible. i certainly read and educate myself as much as my mental health will let me, and i try my best to promote information and donate whenever i can, but i feel like social media has caused some people here to be too into canceling, managing, and being performative in their ‘wokeness.’ like you HAVE to have a blackout pic on instagram and you HAVE to reblog all these posts and you HAVE to immediately cancel everyone who has ever made a mistake EVER with no nuance or context (or dare i say......humanity). like fighting for human rights and speaking up again racism and bringing attention to societal problems is just a checklist to go down instead of being things you should understand and try to improve? like being ‘unproblematic’ starts and ends with mindlessly reblogging ‘woke’ content. idk sorry for going on a rant. going back to your regularly scheduled lighthearted content in 3...2...1

16. Do you like tag games?

ABSOLUTELY TAG ME IN EVERYTHING PLS AND THANK MWAH

17. Do you like ask games?

ofc!!! i used to do a lot of ask games back in the day but work and the pixel art ive been working on has been eating up all my extra time (and i always feel bad if I leave asks unanswered for too long see: q. 13) i do have that clover moots post saved for when my mental health is up and i have the time to tho!!!!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

ngl the idea of being tumblr famous is hilarious to me bc it usually just the same 10 moots who share a braincell bouncing posts back and forth each other, but i do think all my moots are superstars that even class o super giants millions of millions of miles away are turning green w envy 🥰🥰🥰

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

i have a confession i have to make........i have a big phat standing crush on all my moots........its really embarassing............thats its bigger than even tae’s tush or joon’s tits..................pls let me down gently if you dont feel the same................

tagging: @cafejoon @stargazingjin @yoobijin @jinbestboy @jintae @jinv @taemaknae @butterful & anyone who wants to ✨✨

#fun fact! class o stars are the brightest stars in the universe and usually burn blue. BBUT in jpn and chn green and blue are the same #which is a big problem when describing color w my parents bc my def of colors is very different from both sets of parents #like I would say 'mom can I have that gray shirt? and she would be confused until I show her and she would go 'oh the blue one!'#or I tell me dad I wanted the pink mug and he would go 'nah bro thats not pink (粉红)thats peach red (桃红) and im like....but theyre the same #this gets even MORE confusing bc in old chinese and japanese the character for blue/green (青) is also used to refer to black #anyways long rant is that languages differentiate colors differently and the only reason we say rainbows have 7 colors #is bc 7 was thought to be a heavenly number (the greeks thought there were 7 bodies in the sky) which is also why a week is 7 days #and that languages develop names for black and white #then the warning colors of red and green #before moving on to the more nuanced colors #anyways tae I love you for your galaxy brain #bangtan has 7 members bc theyre all heavenly bodies #thats it thats where I wanted to go #is this what vsauce feels like #thank you for tagging me darlings!!!!!!#hash tag games

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briansastro10 · 4 years ago

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BNHA X Cars

KaminariSo, this is basically BNHA Street racer AU. But to be more precise I’m picking the cars for the characters from BNHA. Because cars have characteristic, it has personality and it describes you as a person. Not just based from the body but the engines and the car as whole. So, this is my pick of cars for the character of BNHA

Part 1 For the boys

I’m going to divide it into 2 cars. One is for daily drive/Sports car and the other is The Supercar. The Sports car will describe them as characters individuals. While the Supercar will describe their full potentials.

Midoriya Izuku

Midoriya Izuku, The protagonist of the Anime. He is too good of a boy to mess around street Racing. The Color for his car is obviously Green, in that case I Recommend Him.

Sport car/ Daily Drive:

The Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX.

To be more specific. It is Brian’s First car In the Fast and the furious franchise (R.I.P Paul Walker). This car is one of the Tuners favorite car to modify. It is run by 4G63 Engine, it is the same Engine that run an EVO F*CKING LANCER which is one of the finest cars that has been made on earth (Minus the Turbo). So it plays well with the whole inheritance thing with All Might.

Supercar:

For the supercar, I would Recommend McLaren 675LT

This car Look Great In green. The whole characteristic of this car reminds me of Midoriya. This car shown how it can blend to the society, how it was able to move fast and aggressively while at the same time maintaining Elegance. This car looked slim, but its performance is something else 3.8 L V8 Twin Turbo Rear Wheel Drive (RWD) Gives the ability for the driver to drive like a maniac. The car produces more or less 675 Horsepower (Just like its name) and can go to 0-100 Km in 2.9 Seconds and a top speed with 330 Km/h (205 Mph).

Bakugo Katsuki

For Bakugo, His car has to be loud and Fast! He needs a car that’s intimidating. For the color I’m Thinking Red, Yellow or Black. But since the car need to look Antagonizing, I’m going with black. So, the car that I propose.

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Dodge Charger SRT Hell Cat 2015

This car is a 6.2L Hemi V8 Supercharged. The roars in this car is nothing short. This car is for sure is Intimidating. The roar of the engine is equivalent to Bakugo’s Roar of explosive anger. I was considering the newer one like the SRT Redeye Hellcat or even The Demon. But the demons is more of the inner demon screaming trying to get out. It needed a Rumbling sound of the V8, The insane roar that is deafening.

Supercar:

For the Supercar, it is very difficult. I can choose Hyper cars but they just felt a bit too well mannered compared to Bakugo. But I’ve given a lot of thought and the only car that fits is This

Pagani Zonda R

This car is basically an f1 with a two-seater and a roof. This bad boy is a track only car. So, it is “Street Illegal!!” But that won’t stop Bakugo for using this beauty. This car on high rev speaks will be all the explanation needed on the reason why I chose this car. A car with 700 BHP and only weight 1,070 Kg (In comparison Ford focus weight 1,471 Kg) Which is like a feather.

Todoroki Shoto

For Todoroki His car has to be cool, matured and Luxurious but also High performance. I’m a bit mixed up with the colors Whether I should make it blue or white or red. But since I cant decide I leave it in the ‘Grey’ area. Get it? Ill just get on with it.

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Aston Martin DB11

Aston Martin is well known on it’s Luxury and History. Which fits Todoroki’s Prince aura/Characteristics. The performance is also nothing short, Aston Martin is also well known to make a brilliant Engine for racing. A twin turbocharged V12 Produce 600 BHP with a top speed 201Km/h (125Mph).

Supercar

For the Super car, I think Lamborghini Huracan Performante.

It is a naturally aspirated 5.2L V10 Engine AWD. This car has a fierce fiery engine on its car but still has that cool matured Body. And the ALA (Aerodinamica Lamborghini Attiva) Is brilliant. It is an active Aerodynamic system that allows the car to go faster.

Tenya Iida:

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Is the Brabus 800 GT 63s

This car is perfect fot Iida, It has a look in which my friend quote “Sophisticated Look”. And Mind you this car is probably The Fastest Car! For the sport/daily drive Car compare than anyone else in the list. This car packs a crazy 800 BHP and that’s says it all

Supercar:

The fastest Car In the world! In 2010. The specific look that I would like to go is Drift From Transformer: Age Of Extinction. That Blue Lining is perfect for Iida. For some people engines might be boring, But this car have the power of 1200 Horses in it

Kirishima Eijiro

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

The car that this Manly man need to go with is the 2020 Mustang Shelby GT500.

The Engine has a named called the “Predator” V8 Engine. 750 BHP is nothing short and the roar from within is on par with Bakugo’s SRT Hellcat.

Supercar:

I was having second thought of choosing this car. But whenever I think of Kirishima in a car, This car always pops into my head

Lamborghini Adventador SV. This car Looked manly and menacing. Why I thought about this car, is that it associated it self with a bull in which Kirishima and this car can relate to. A loud V12 Engine roars loud and deep in a intimidating voice and its perfect.

Sero Hanta

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

For Sero the car has to be traditional but still a good car nonetheless. So I pick A classic Porsche 911 turbo 1982.

It is a classic sports car, It is tunable which make the car run fast.

Supercar:

Ferrari 458 Italia

This car is a normal Aspirated V8 with a high rev engine. It creates something Revolutionary From something traditional.

Kaminari Denki

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

It has to be the SUPRA!!!!!!

This car is definitely a meme, it fits with Kaminari Personality. Seeing them is like “WTH ARE YOU DOING?!” Because both Kaminari and the car would do something ridiculously stupid.

Supercar:

For the Supercar I Would say The Lexus LFA

Lexus is one of the Artistic Legacy of the JDM Cars. It is one of the legendary Supercar that ever existed. The Normal aspirated V10 Sounded like Pure Thunder striking down on the earth. Sound menacing and amazing. It fits for Kaminari Racing Persona (Or even his villain Persona).

Mashirao Ojiro

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Ojiro is a traditional Japanese person, So his car has to be totally Japanese. My pick have to be The S30 Fairlady Z.

To be exact the RB26 Swapped Fairlady Z from Sung Kang (Han’s Actor car from “Fast and Furious”) And that’s all I need to say about this car.

Supercar:

For the Supercar It has to be the last piece of The JDM Legend. It is The GTR R35 NISMO.

This car is perfect for Ojiro, They both are the Representative Character of Japan.

Tokoyami Fumikage

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Blackbird 370 z

For me it’s a no Brainer. This car was featured as the Replacement of Blackbird in wangan Midnight When they aren’t allowed to use the Porsche. The slick Headlight and the whole body look is the description of Tokoyami Dark Shadow

Supercar:

Mclaren MP4-12C

That Describes Tokoyami as a whole. One of the best car that ever created in history that changes the whole world. With the black fierce look, This car looks like a shark that flies on land.

Sato Rikido

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

Sato is a muscular guy. So His sports car is definitely a Muscle Car. But It seems I have a trouble in finding it, It has to be a classic but not too old. In that reason I recommend Saleen s281 2000

It has that sporty look but still have the Muscle car Essence and history

Supercar:

For the Supercar It has to be The Corvette C8.R

This car is a new take to American cars. It is a Incredible move from the American automotive Industries.

Koda Koji

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

For Koda He is definetly a good Boy so hew probably uses a 4-door car. For instance The Subaru WRX STI 2016.

It doesn't seems Menacing but it still can move around well and when it drives, it definetly drives well.

Supercar:

For the Supercar it is definetly a NSX-R 1992 Tuned with a Rocket Bunny Body Kit.

Koda is definitely a Honda city boi. From the name itself, I am 100% it fits with Koda. Back in the day if you want a Ferrari but you can’t afford one. You’ll buy an NSX.

Shoji Mezo

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

For Shoji I think Ford’s Trophy truck.

A friend of mine said that Shoji, is the kind of guy who would drive a van for daily basis (So I guessed it has to be an American Car). But to me, Shoji is the Kind of guy that likes to get Dirt under his wheels. And I'm pretty sure Shoji is the kind of kid that doesn’t Mind flying in the car on daily basis.

Supercar:

For the Supercar I propose, Ford Gt.

It is well planted and the car is very wide. Fitting to describes Shoji’s ‘Arms’. Although it might not have similarities with his daily car, But this car is all I could think of.

Aoyama Yuga

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

For the Daily Drive, it is obviously something Luxurious, Something High class Like Bentley GT 2019. The V8 Version.

It is a confiscated yet sporty look in a car, It looked like as if he stands out compares to the other Luxury Cars

Supercar:

For the Supercar, It has to be describe as “Noblesse oblige” And the Car that fits the most is Noble M600.

It is a Supercar with all the classic features. It is a RWD Manual Transmission Car, a twin turbocharged 4L V8. Packs 640 BHP 0-60 in 3.1 Second.

Mineta Minoru

Sport Car/ Daily Drive:

It’s the Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder GTS

Basically, this car is the Japanese Equivalent To pimp rides. Even though This car is featured in The Fast and The Furious, It is just a now show car. Compared the old one, This version is a slower and much more difficult to Modify. But it is still a nice car and fun to drive with, and it is a popular car in the car culture.

Supercar:

For Mineta The Supercar might be really difficult. So in the end I just came up with the Villain version. (Inspired by ‘Nadaboodraws’ Villain Mineta on Instagram) I came up with this

It is the Audi R8, It is one of the best Affordable Supercar you can get in the world. It is 4wd But it is still an aggressive car with a mean Look.

Okay that’s all I can give for this part. For the next one will be the girls of class 1-A. If you have different opinion let me know, I would love to hear all of your thoughts and if you use my list you can go ahead and use it (But please do tell me, because hearing it will be my vindication and that would make me really happy). Anyway, thank you for reading until this far.

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fuzzylumpkins · 4 years ago

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I GIVE UP. (a secret open letter)

Hi. I know youre a morning person, and you're always busy everyday. especially on a Monday, and i really dont wanna rain on your parade, but given the situation, i just know na hindi ko na kaya patagalin pa to ng ilang araw, or iset aside nanaman. So im sorry if your first day of the week and your day itself starts off with this letter.

I also know na you dont really read my long messages and youre probably thinking, "Hay, ito nanaman si Mara and mga long letters nya." But im asking you to please read all of these. Alam ko pag gising mo you will shrug this off, and it's okay. who would want a buzzkill to start their day with, diba? Hehe but again, please. Please take time to read this and understand where this is all coming from. You can always save these messages to your vault and read it later kung nasa mood ka na, or if me time ka na. But please dont disregard this letter.

Anyway,

It's exactly 2:15 in the morning. I havent slept since i messaged you last night/kanina. I had to stop crying, and collect myself entriely, para kalmado ako (kanina kalmado actually ako. You just got scared na magstorm off ako, and turned off your phone. Pero thankfully, kalmado ako nun. And i guess thats a really good thing, kasi di na ako galit. But i guess that's also a sign na pagod na ako talaga.

So yeah, i needed to collect myself, hindi na ako umiiyak as i am writing this (but i probably will cry at the end or maybe even in the middle of writing of this letter! hehe) Nag relax muna ako from my last message sayo, doing nothing, because I needed to calm myself even more, kasi I wanted to write this letter, na yun nga, kalmado, that way, mas sure ako sa mga sasabihin ko, and sa magiging decisions ko.

Love, im giving up. This time it's for real. Ayaw ko na talaga. Alam ko ilang beses mo na narinig sakin yan. And i end up eating my words, as soon as you talk to me, throw me nice words, treat me with kindness. parang bigla nalang, "nabibihag" mo nanaman ako. Pero ayaw ko na love. Suko na ako. Surrender na ako. Matigas ka talaga. 😢 hehe And honestly, hindi ko na mafeel yung worth ko sayo. I feel useless, and i feel like im worth nothing to you because of these feelings, na matagal ko na nararamdaman, but i always choose to ignore. Kasi in denial ako. These are the red flags i'd like to let you know.

You never gave me any compromise.

Thats one thing i wanted to hear from you, never mo naman ginawan ng paraan. Parang tinatawanan mo lang yung hurt na nararamdaman ko. Never mo ginawan ng solusyon.

You dont give me an assurance.

Wala akong peace of mind. Im sorry pero, wala na akong trust. You lost my trust, i cant trust you, i wont trust you — kasi never mo naman ako pinafeel good, and never mo naman ako binigyan ng assurance na never mo na gagawin sakin na mahurt ako. Parang feeling ko never mo gnawa yun, kasi ikaw mismo sa sarili mo hindi mo masigurado na kaya mo.

I gave you a second chance , but you never valued that second chance.

Tandang tanda ko pa how you hurt me that night na nakita ko yung unang time na finollow mo yang nur aypha na yan. We talked about it sa Biton. You said sorry you cried. —- hindi ko akalain na ung cool guy lawrence would feel so guilty that day, and cry, and lunok his pride and say sorry to me. Sobra kong happy that moment kasi akala ko sobrang love mo ako. September 21 yun. DO YOU KNOW WHY DECEMBER 23 KO PA ULIT NA NALAMAN NA NEVER MO PALA INUNFOLLOW? Because i dont check you, i dont check your account because i trusted you. Sobra ko lang katrust sayo. Ganun ako kaconfident sa love mo sakin. Pero that december night na nalaman ko yun, it was my gut telling me na something’s up. And ever since then, HINDI NA AKO NATAHIMIK. Hindi ko akalain na yung time na akala ko ok ka, na nagsorry ka, na binigyan kita ng second chance, hindi ko akalain na in that span, may pa like like ka pa ng LAHAT ng pictures nya. As in every upload. Alam mo yung nasa isip ko? Isahan mo lang gilike lahat yun. Tapos nakita nya, na “uy may flood likes ako from an ex..” and thats already enough reason to start a conversation between you two. :”( or hindi ko alam kung lahat ba ng stories nya, gina reactan mo, kasi pala react ka sa stories. Dun mo nga ako una nakausap diba? Thats your conversation starter, and that fucking kills me. Yung thoughts na yun never ako pinatahimik. KAYA GSTO KO LANG NAMAN MAWALA SYA SA ACCT MO KSI HINDI KO NA ALAM ANO NA GINAGAWA MO. Hindi ko na alam ano na ginagawa nyo privately.

Kasi you have intentions. You had intentions when you kept liking her photos. Kasi MAY PINAGDAANAN na tayo na issue sakanya, but you still secretly kept liking her pictures. Up until your birthday, sya nasa isip mo while ako i was doing my best effort to make you feel happy. To surprise you. Lahat. Kaya pala when i asked you to come to mabini to get my bigger surprise, parang “ugh” ka pa na ano ba to. bat kelangan pa mag pnta pnta. Then until new year of 2021, kung d ko pa nahuli nung jan 7, nakalike ka pa and updated ka masyado sknya.

So hindi mo mwala sakin yun magisip ako ng , ah baka sa instagram stories ito naga landian itong dalawa. Thats why i dont have my peace of mind. Thats why i want you to remove her. Pero hndi mo magawa, hindi mo kaya.

You never adjusted even for a bit. Para sakin.

Para sa tao na dapat sana mas iniisip mo kung mahal mo tlaga.

Sobra kong selos kasi bakit ako, yung kinulang na sa oras sa buhay mo, yung pinipilit mag habol ng oras na nawala, bakit ako yung wala sa social media mo? Bakit ako hindi mo malagay jan, na yan lang yung isang way na makabawi tayo sa lost times natin. Bakit sila, mas nakikita mo yung everyday ig stories nila, yung personal life nila, mas ginapili mo na yun makita kesa updated ka sa simple things in my life na sana nakikita mo, nahahabol mo. Ung mga interests ko na sana alam mo. Yung mga interests mo na sana alam ko, na sana nadidiscover ko pa ngyon na nagahabol ako ng nawala na panahon? Na bawat ig story mo nakikita ko na “uy mahilig talaga si lawrence/mara ng ganto.” Or whatever. Pero wala e. Ung simple joys ko na ganun, you stripped that away from me Because you CHOSE to keep them instead. You chose them and still choose them to this day over me.

Di ko talaga alam bakit? Kasi

You blame me?

Blame me for fucking what?! Tangina. Lagi mo reason “o, ngayon alam mo na feeling ng di pinapakinggan?” Putang ina naman you pnly felt that for 2-3 days na nag matigas ako to not block an ex. Compare mo sa 2-3 months na nagmamatigas ka hindi ako pagbigyan. Fuck. That. Hurts.

And yung blame na yan, kung hindi mo yan maalis sa isip mo, even if i said sorry, even if pinagsisihan ko na, even if i did everything to change that, wala pa rin, then i think that’s also a reason na istop nalang din ito. Kasi yun yung gusto mo na justification sa actions mo, that one single thing na hindi ko naman pinalala, pero yun pa rin yung ginagamimt mo na dahilan to justify your actions, then i really think it’s time to stop na rin. Oo na, kasalanan ko nalang.

Love the very same reason bakit ayaw mo nagafollow sakin sila, o finafollow ko sila, THATS THE VERY SAME REASON BAKIT AKO NAGA PA BLOCK DIN SAYO. Kung ano yung pakiramdam mo ganun din yung akin. Pero bakit never mo kaya gawin for me yun? Yun yung hndi ko magets. Kung snasabi mo “wala dn man ako gnagawa” WELL GUESS WHAT? WALA DN AKO GINAGAWA, yet i blocked them para wala ka na maisip, THATS ME GIVING YOU YOUR PEACE OF MIND . Para matahimik isip mo and ma feel confident ka about me. E ikw nga MAY GINAGAWA NA.

Di ko talaga alam. Sabi nila it comes with age. Meron mga lalake na maaga nasstop yang stage na ganyan, meron din never na talaga. I dont care if you admire those tiktok type girls, lahat ng mga “wow” for guys. Pero pede nyo naman iappreciate yun without engaging anything with them. Pde mo naman daanan lng without clicking the heart button, or without reacting.

Pero un sa ex mo, tapos hindi pa malabong magkita kayo. Naku, no no na yun. Hindi ako magiging katulad ng asawa natin na nalulusutan natin.

But anyway,

that’s it. Surrender na ako. Masyado na talagang mababa yung tingin ko na worth ko sayo. Masyado na din mababa tingin ko sa sarili ko na naga makaawa ako sa SIMPLENG bagay na hindi mabigay sakin ng tao na nagasabi na mahal ako.

have your freedom, hindi naman kita prisoner. Baka isipin mo sobra pa ako sa asawa mo. Si R nga d naga ganto ganyan, si mara oa, HINDI NAMAN ASAWA. Well maybe because maybe i know you more? I know what youre capable of. You cheat pn ur wife with me, and she doesnt know that. So alam ko na, sya asawa mo kaya mo lokohin, ako pa kaya na kabit mo LANG. If youre gonna b with me, just stay loyal, and be honest. That's all i ask.

Yun lang.

I give up.

💔

Dont worry it’s not you who’s giving up. It’s me. I’ve given up. I’ve given up on hope and love na pjnipilit ko na meron tayo.

Kasi ang dami pa natin pagdadaanan, pero kung ganitong bagay lang hindi mo kaya macompromise for me, then might as well stop this. Pano nlng sa next challenges ? Iwan nlng ako sa ere kasi wala akong support system. So ayoko na dumating sa point na kawawa na ako masyado love. hehe

------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes it takes an experience na masasaktan ka, or may mawawala sayo, for you to realize the value of something. “You never know what you got til it’s gone” kasi you take it for granted.

If youre gonna be with me, be with me all in. Make me feel secured. Give me that trust, kasi yun yung building block ng lahat ng relationships. I told you my deal. D na ako babalik sayo unless you remove that person in your life (na obvious na d mo magawa) Actually, simula ngyon ayaw ko na rin mag-asa. Kasi the more na tumatagal, mas sobrang sakit on my part. Kasi “bakit hindi maaksyonan agad?” Bakit kelangan pa patagalin.

The more you take time, the more it hurts. The more theyre in your life, tapos ako wala? The more it hurts. The more you keep them, the more you dont value my worth.

--------------------------------------------------------

I dont want to leave by giving each other wounds. Ayoko na dn matapos ito na puro away nalang. Thats why im giving up. Para wala na ako gnaisip na akin ka, na love mo ako kc i end up getting hurt.

PS: If youre gonna change, dont change for me. Change for yourself. I do believe people change. Yun yung kelangan ko linawin. If you are changing for me, then chances are baka bumalik ka lang sa dati mong ugali, or dati mong ginagawa, because ayaw mong magbago for yourself. If youre gonna change, that has to be for u. Kelangan nasayo yung “narealize ko how much i value my relationship, ayaw ko masira ulit to. Im not gonna give anyone a chance to ruin my relationship.” Because you know the value of this once in a lifetime love story. But if youre changing because naku, “baka magalit si Mara.” Then iba din yun. iba yung reason why youre changing. You might just go back to the way you were. I do believe that ppl can change. Yun lang minsan ang sad dun, it takes a painful experience, para matuto tayo ng leksyon.

Also, i just wanna ask you to not feel AWA towards me. Kasi hindi tama na anjan ka nlang kasi makaawa na ako. Leave that “awa” to me. Kasi ako honestly? Awang awa na ako sa sarili ko for stooping so low sa mga ginagawa ko. Awang awa na ako na i go through hell just to save and value this relationship.

Awang awa na ako na ang dami kong niririsk and pinagdadaanan only to come “home” to a relationship that cant show me my worth.

Parang hindi na tama yung pinagdadaanan ko , tapos ako yung simpleng bagay na hinihingi ko, d mabigay sakin. Unfair na yun. D na ko willing mapagod for nothing.

Pack up na ako, love. Youre only showing me na you dont wanna make it work anymore, and ako nlang yung lumalaban. And I dont think thats fair. but thats ok.

Im sorry, im gone from now on. I give up.

As for your obligations and responsibilities, this current problem/issue im dealing with — my pregnancy. Dont worry anymore na. Ayoko rin n nagastay ka lang kasi naawa ka sakin, or kasi you feel bad na naka take part ka sa pinagdadaanan ko ngayon. Wag ganun.

Wag mo nalang din ifeel na obligtion mo to. It’s not. Thankful ako anjan ka when i found out and helped me how to deal with it. So wala kna to feel guilty about. Know that im thankful. Sabi mo nga love diba 🥲 Strong girl ako, matapang ako.🥲 I just no longer want you involved in this. I’ll be on my own from now on.

Im not asking u to call na pala, kasi baka isipin mo ang toxic ko na kausap na umiiyak. Hehe

Goodbye. Sorry this has to come to this. Thank you sa lahat. Mahal na mahal kita, always. 😢

Mar 01, 2021/ 05:37am

#LA88 #fuzzylumpkins

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silenceofthellamas · 4 years ago

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nostalgia

i haven't logged into this app in years, no one will see this but i need to put this out there because i am sad and lonely and this gives me the illusion that someone else will see it. Hi, i am 18 years old and very very sad. i remember being 14 years old, i had no idea how to dress, how to do makeup, or how to curl my hair but i wore my areopostle with pride and my messy eyeliner with confidence. i knew i had anxiety because i had been searching my whole life for a word to describe why i was like this. i had a best friend. she was my everything, i have never been that close with someone else, we were always over at her house, we had sleepovers many many late night hang outs, we always did each others makeup and hair, we shared a wardrobe and we took so many pictures. she was there for me the night my grade 8 boyfriend broke my hear, she was there when i felt anxious, she held my hand when i was shaking, she covered for me when i had panic attacks. she was wonderful. all those things in retrospect may seem like they are so trivial but they are not. when you are that small, your world is fragile. everything you know can be changed in one minute. every emotion is so new and undiscovered. those were some of the worst days of my life as well. middle school is hell. for context right now i am a mentally ill, poor college student but middle school? that shit is hard. i was made fun of all the time, she was essentially the only person i trusted, i was living in a home that wasn’t helpful to me and no one looked out for me. my best friend and her mom did so much. so why did we stop talking? honestly its hard to say. she was one year younger than me so most of our time together was because we skated together. i switched schools in grade 9 which is when i started to feel depressed. I lost contact with every single person i knew from my hometown. that transitional period in my life is so blurry i can only pull out a few memories. i cant remember what the last thing i said to her was or the last time i saw her. i still follow her on Instagram. she was shaped by the people around her and ended up not attending her own graduation because these girls her age were toxic to her. she has a long term boyfriend and they want to get married in a few years, she bought into a pyramid scheme and will probably never leave this small town. i wonder if she ever thinks of me. i think i still hold a lot of love for her. i hope she can find peace and happiness and i hope she can find the courage to dig deeper and reject people who don’t treat her well. life is hard in small towns. her brothers beast friend and my old coworker took his life last year. her brother dropped out of school. she stopped skating.

all i can say is life gets fucked. life gets hard. But people will ebb and flow. and the starkness and harshness of life isn't such a hard blow when your world is a little bigger and you are a little stronger.

so here is a letter to my old best friend and reminder to me that life will never be easy but its better than the 7th grade

best friends are not always forever

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the-dimensionmaker · 4 years ago

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Oh boy.... where... WHERE... do i begin with this... i had to think about this for a LONG time... cause i know if i talk about this and try and give Aidan more attention... then my friend and great artist, Raisha gs will be upset with me... and.... will probably block me.... leaving me here to grieve again for the mistakes i did...... so if Raisha some how knows that i have a twitter acc... first off... hi dude... second off dont block me... yhe worst you can do is block someone for trying to get something out of they're situation so they can feel better... im not saying that your a bad person... im not saying that that your trying to control my life... all im saying is that.. please... understand that i need to do this... if people are doing this against people like Lui or Mini Ladd or even Shane Dawson... then i should do the same for a guy who has did this... dont worry... i blocked him on twitter.... so dont worry about him trying to find out about what im talking about... ok...? I hope you understand...

so for starters if you dont know who i am, i am the Dimensionmaker. Someone who wants to make animations for yt, who wants to make his own games, want do lets plays, and even talk to you viewers... i have a rough life... filled with nothing but people lying to me, people cheating on me without a reason (the numbers of people who did that is now 61 in total...), people lying ABOUT me, nothing but fear, and many more... Jaiden or Kitty Courtnie And Linka, is... the first gf i ever had. She was... the worst as well. She never listened, didnt care, and then cheated... then we have... Aidan2003, who is the main topic of this...

We start from what caused all of this to happen... when i was in middle school still i was on roblox... i had great friends... one of them named herself Jaidenanimations (not the real one...) also known as Courtnie... she was the nicest.. at the time she had a bf named Dud.. (btw Dud is Older then both me AND courtnie.. he acted like a complete creep around her..) but fsr.. Dud broke up with her.... someone named Ethan dated her too... but then broke up with her... and who knows if he is older then courtnie at the time... she was now sad... so i decided to become her bf... and when i did... we were... THE BEST... we loved each other more then anything... she would without me asking, want to do a drp with me... she wanted to come to my house... she wanted to meet me irl... she was better then anyone...things got a bit worst... Jaiden was now enemies with everyone... (Ethan, Dud, Jonathan, etc...) she doesnt want them to follow her... so i decied to be a bit strict.. and tell her to NOT go to any of the roblox games till she blocks them... and she lies to me... saying that... "She wasnt able to block them as a crack was CONVENIENTLY on the block and unfriend button..." and when ever we have a plan or another idea on what can actually work... she lied her way saying thaings like oh.. "My Phone Is Dead" and such.. so much in fake that it was... PREDICTABLE... she then started to hang out with them... i became a bit more stricter... then my mental health became bad... she didnt listen... it made me feel like nobody listens to me... leading me into a depression... i felt like nobody liked me... nobody listens to me... nobody even cared about me... i wanted to die... a... bunch of times... most of the time... she never cared... then... on yt......... she cheated on me... with 2 people who were OLDER THEN ME AND HER COMBINED (being both Jonathan and Dud... keep that in mind...)... i noticed this.... i was FURIOUS..... i yelled at the thing i thought was a girl i Loved... a girl i could trust... a Girl that i thought was LOYAL..... then her parents got involved calling me rude words like European Boy (i think it was something else) "just because my skin was black".. keep that in mind as well... "her parents deleted her discord acc For Good..." (keep thaf in mind...)... then... i sobbed... again... and again... i tried to go and find people who cares about me or loved me... but then they cheated... one by one... my mental health became WORST.... i tried many methods... me having more then one girlfriend... having them make promises due to what has happen to me... being nice... being strict..... nothing worked.......... my life was miserable...... i didnt finally be able to talk to courtnie and get her to break up with Jonathan... she was happy that she did... but then she didnt come back to roblox... but then betrayed me yet again........

I asked one of my friends on if they are able to talk to Courtnie...they couldn't... all except for one person one of them know... Aidan... i talked to Aidan and he actually was nice... but then... he started to act like im a pedo... wanna know why...? Get this... JAIDEN LIED ABOUT HER AGE THE WHOLE TIME. when i was 13 she was 10 ALL ALONG. She lied to me for YEARS... saying she was my age.... i blocked Aidan and never talked to him ever again... and jaiden finally talks to me and we were in good terms... but then... Aidan came in.... saying jaiden has caused alot of crap to him... i believed him and became his friend only to be forced into a group where this friends (ETHAN AND IVAN BEING ONE OF THEM) could harass me... then... we go to his videos... his videos are false... they barely show proof... he says points that are completely incorrect.... hell here is some (not all cause i dont want to be texting all night) he said in them...

- "I Know Where You Live And I Know Everything About You"

He says this yet he assumed i was a 25 year old man. Even tho im now 15. At the time i was 14 now im 15. Plus he doxxedy house. And stole my IP ADDRESS... that right there makes him seem more like a creep. Courtnie without me asking told me where she lived. This guy STOLE MY IP ADDRESS AND FUCKING DOXXED MY HOUSE. That right there will show that he is a bad person who is just lying to ruin my life... speaking of lying

- "Schroederluvr Is A Minor"

This proves that he didnt even talk to her... she isnt a minor... hell looking at her compared to me... she is OLDER THEN ME.. SHE IS 20 SOMETHING YEARS OLD. I Didnt Harass Her Anyways so why is he saying that i did.

- "Lillie is innocent"

Lillie on Instagram literally said in her own words that she is bullying me because of me being depressed. Thats jot justified AT ALL.

"Klara's post is about me"

No its not. Its about lillie and her friends. Who BTW IS DMING ME SENDING A PICTURE OF SOME STUPID PICTURE OF A INCINEROAR. sure yes it doesnt seem to bad but its EXTREMELY ANNOYING.

- "Telling the police that Aidan doxxed my house and Stole my IP Address wont do anything"

It will, Aidan. It literally says that no matter how you got it or why you got it, you will be send to jail.

- "TALKING to minors is bad"

Wrong. If thats the case then someone like WILDCAT, VANOSS, H2ODELIRIOUS, MARKIPLIER, CORYXKENSHIN, AND MANY MANY MORE would be swatted and in jail. Its not Illegal to talk to them.

- "that Katie is innocent"

Katie has done a MOUNTAIN of stuff to me. So much so that even the nicest people of all time wont be nice to her. She isnt in the right. AT. ALL.

- "that telling people to leave me alone is harassing them"

Its not harassment. Seriously. A NORMAL HUMAN BEING WOULD KNOW THAT IST NOR HARASSMENT TO TELL SOMEONE TO GO AWAY OR LEAVE THEM ALONE

- "That im a predator yet youw ont go after Jonathan and Dud"

He literally spares them but not me. Jonathan was 17 i think. And Dud was i think 19. Now he's probably 20 OR 21 YEARS OLD. And you STILL come at me for just DATING someone who LIED ABOUT HER AGE.

- "that i was... Harassing? xxlitle_dummyxx"

Even tho she literally wants to be rude while im trying to help... wow... just fucking WOW

- "that not telling people your name, nor putting your name on your acc is a bad thing"

No.. no its not... hell we look at a bunch of youtubers doing that. Hell there are a bunch of people i KNOW that doesnt say they're real name. It's THEY'RE CHOICE. Not yours Aidan.

Anyways.... then to make things worst he called me the N word a bunch of times then say that he "didnt" because i didnt have proof... wanna know why? BECAUSE HE BLOCKED ME AFTER THAT SO I WASNT ABLE TO TAKE A VIDEO OF THIS. Then he made a fake conversation between me and jaiden. I can tell its fake by just looking at the pfps and names...

I decided to delete all the posts about him on Instagram... not because he beated me... but because i wanted Raisha gs to be happy... to not hate me...... to not block me... thats something that Effects me when it comes to someone like Raisha or Brsstar... i worry that if i make one mistake for what ever reason... ill be blocked... so im hoping that Raisha understands that i cant hold all of this in anymore... if Aidan are exposing me for shit i didn't do... if PEOPLE are coming out to finally say the truth about someone... then i should as well.... i hope you understand if you made it this far...

So... here's what i have to say for the conclusion of this... if you all see the name... "Aidan2003"... block him... REPORT HIM... do what ever you like to him.... he wants to hurt me for shit i didnt do... so why should i say to not do the same to him... he is not a good person... he never was....

This is The Creator Of Multiverses... and i will soon make other posts, dont worry ^^.

Till then my fell Universers..

#harassment #bullying #blacklivesmatter #send help

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creativetrashcans · 5 years ago

Text

Simmer - Get To Know

By @cupcakegnome

Tagged: @ talemagne

CHIWAWA

Your name: Lonely Chiwawa (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and kinda English

Are you a mermaid: No not really... can barely swim tbh

Your play style: mmmh i like most things, creating sims, builidng is so much fun too, also challenges mmh stories no tho i cant write em LOL rip

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: Challenges, builds and some other things coming heh

Your favorite age state: Teen or young adult

Your favorite season: Winter!!! i feel it has a lot to do and the snow is soooo pretty

Your favorite holiday: Only played harvest fest so far... in sims BUT irl i like Christmas

How was your day: It was chill and nice, even went outside wew

Your favorite career: Painter...........................maybe?

Your favorite aspiration: Soulmate

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Seasons

How old is your simblr: Less than a year i think

Have you woohooed: Yes, many times

Your favorite skill: Cooking, parenting and painting

The size of your Mods folder: 37,7 GB

Your 3 favorite mods: uhhhh hahaha impossible to choose

Your interests (other than sims): Drawing, make up and nails, mmh minecraft old anime and series too

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Maybe not my favourite Sim of all time because we got so many! But this is our version of Franky form One Piece. Before starting any project just for fun we made him and I always felt so proud of how he turned out. Not only he looks very attractive, i also feel its a good representation of how a human him would look like.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4

Propose a crazy scheme: People being nice always and world being in peace and not dying in gud old climate change

Best part of simblr: seeing how other people enjoy the sims and how they play also them aesthetic

Worst part of simblr: mmhhhhhhhh lack of comunication between players i don’t feel much sense of community here at least now... i actually suck at comunicating so..... dunno

What other games you play: Minecarft recently but not much into games actually

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):

Twitter --> https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Intagram --> https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram --> https://www.instagram.com/elia_clco/

My side tumblr --> https://generationtrashcan.tumblr.com/

Are you single: Nuuuupe

WORM

Your name: Lively Worm (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish and some English.

Are you a mermaid: Nope, I’m a worm.

Your play style: I love building houses and decorating them, dressing sims and doing their makeup.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I do gameplays, challenges and buildings.

Your favorite age state: I think it’s young adult because I can explore more.

Your favorite season: Autumn, because of the beautiful colors.

Your favorite holiday: I don’t know yet, I haven’t explored all of them.

How was your day: It’s 15:40h and I’m hungry, I want to eat soon.

Your favorite career: Musician.

Your favorite aspiration: Musical genius, unsurprisingly.

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Pets and vampires.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: ¬_¬

Your favorite skill: I don’t know, maybe the singing skill?

The size of your Mods folder: 29,9 GB.

Your 3 favorite mods: I can’t choose. There are so many so good!

Your interests (other than sims): Singing, drawing, anime, manga and kpop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): Why?? I can’t choooooseeee, I love most of them! Okey, after a lot of thought I’ve chosen Una, Usopp’s daughter from our 100 Baby Challenge, because the three of us love her and I love drawing her!! She’s really charming and she’s grown up really well. I relate to her because she also loves drawing and vampires.

We posted some drawings of her on twitter and insta!

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And some PS game I don’t remember.

Propose a crazy scheme: Making people learn expectatives are bad and judging others hurts everyone involved.

Best part of simblr: I can share our art and tell many stories with interesting sims.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of comunication.

What other games you play: Kingdom Hearts, Hollow Knight, The Last of Us... mostly play station games.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/makaru_walker/

Are you single: No, I’m Turtle’s.

TURTLE

Your name: Lazy Turtle (she/her)

Languages you speak: Catalan, Spanish, English and some basic French.

Are you a mermaid: Pretty sure I’m not.

Your play style: Starting projects and never getting past the building process is a playstyle? I usually like to have some objective though, instead of just playing aimlessly.

Your Selfsim picture:

Stories or gameplay, builds, lookbooks, edits or cc: I find stories pretty awkward to portray on Sims, and fashion and decoration were never my strong point. So I stick to challenges, both found and created.

Your favorite age state: Depends on what for. Young adults are the easiest to manage and have more options, but toddlers are the most challenging on a Baby Challenge.

Your favorite season: Autumn, always. Its colors are just beautiful.

Your favorite holiday: Haven’t played them all yet, so I can’t say.

How was your day: (Tumblr erased all my hard work on this thing, but the day I first wrote it I had my blood taken so not great). Today, I discovered the extent of human stupidity in mass hysteria situations. Never seen a supermarket so empty of food before.

Your favorite career: Hypotetically, writer. But I haven’t played as one yet so I can’t confirm.

Your favorite aspiration: Big Happy Family’s been pretty fun for our matriarch, but I still have many more to explore. (I can say it’s not the kid’s mobility one. Stupid mecanography.)

Your favorite EP, SP or GP: Probably Seasons so far.

How old is your simblr: Less than a year.

Have you woohooed: Uh.

Your favorite skill: Uhhh... No idea.

The size of your Mods folder: 29,9 GB. Worm and I share a game and a mods folder, but Chiwawa dumps her messily organized mods on us from time to time.

Your 3 favorite mods: Wow nope.

Your interests (other than sims): Mostly writing and reading (I’m the main writer of this tumblr, btw), but also videogames, anime and k-pop.

Your favorite sim (picture if possible): I wouldn’t say it’s my favourite sim of all time, I have far too many sims I love for different reasons, but this one was specially hard to get right so we feel particularly proud.

His name is Carles Serra, and he’s a parental figure for two of the MCs of the story we’re working on. He’s a math and ethics teacher on a very exclusive highschool, and he needed to have both a very refined and snobbish air and this inevitable awkwardness all math teachers seem to have. Plus, he has to deal with teenage drama all through the story, so I feel like he needs a lot of love. And maybe some vacation.

Which Sims games you have played (including mobile games): Sims 2, 3 and 4. And I think I once tried to make a sim on a terrible PS2 version or something.

Propose a crazy scheme: Mandatory therapy for teens so everyone learns empathy and management of one’s emotions would be pretty neat.

Best part of simblr: Sharing our common passion with others in a free and creative way, probably.

Worst part of simblr: The lack of interaction, I guess. I had only ever been in a very small fandom here on tumblr before, and compared to the closeness of that comunity, I feel like simblr is... very scattered.

What other games you play: Play Station ones, mostly. Whatever gives me a compelling story.

Other websites or accounts (origin, twitter etc..):

Common Twitter: https://twitter.com/creativetrashc1

Common Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/creativetrashcans/

Personal Twitter: https://twitter.com/ALazyTurtle1

Are you single: I’ve been dating Worm for years now.

We will tag: @hellobreadsims

#sims #sims 4 #new simblr #franky #op franky #one piece #one piece franky #oc #original character #100 baby challenge #selfsim #sims tag #get to know tag

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aestheoo · 6 years ago

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I fucking adore your drawings. I'm just !!!!! wow like aaaahhhh they're so good??? Reminds me of those old master's sketches I used to stare at as a kid. If it's okay to ask did you study drawing or was it all self-taught? What's your drawing process? Any website or other social media links I could probably follow for your art? I'm sorry if the questions sound intrusive but I'm gone, I've fallen in love with your work. I want to know more x

yo, i went and checked out your stuff and youre like whole ass artist fam, and u out here sayin my sketches remind you of the masters eye

like whaaaat

for real, i love all your stuff, its so expressive, and i love expressive art!! im just out here winging everything like ive done my entire life

the only art class ive ever taken was in middle school so… id say i was all self taught lmao. i dont even really remember those classes and my middle school was transphobic and biphobic bc they scheduled art as my first class of the day so i missed it all the time 😔

my drawing process is usually, yo i should draw sumn and… then i do. for my personal art, i dont know, most of the time i dont put a lot of thought into my drawings. i usually have an idea going in but once i start drawing i just let it go where ever it goes even if thats somewhere completely different than my original idea. i dont like to put a lot of concrete thought into, bc i like art to be interpretive. if my art speaks happiness to one person, and anguish to another, they are both correct in my eyes. sure i have an emotion myself drawing it, but i 100% believe in individual interpretation regardless that i am the artist. and because my belief in open interpretation, i dont try to peg down exactly what im feeling or going for, i just harness it in its celestial form and go with the flow. I also go into every drawing accepting that i may 'ruin' it. It keeps me from holding back if i go into it okay with losing it.

this works really well for my personal art, but it can make fanart more challenging. im not necessarily good at coming up with concepts for them, bc my personal art, that normally i spend more time doing, arent very concrete. probably why i do sketches much more often than finished pieces.

the actual physical drawing process…. i really am just out here winging it most of the time 😔✊. the most i do honestly is use a grid occasionally. which is a common technique for drawing realism. but when i do it, i dont really measure or do anything super precise, i just scribble one out to help me form a better vision of what ever form im drawing and give me some rough guidelines for proportions. i dont even add a grid to my references, i just sort of visualize it in my head to the best of my ability. I also twnd to prefer dark pencils. I use mechanical pencils all the time, but i also tend to draw a lot with at least a 3b pencil. Im a strong believer in contrast and not being afraid to go dark. I try to incorporate that into my art. but other than that… i cant honestly think of any other steps i do 😬

for real tho, bless you for liking my art 🙇‍♂️, bc i think you are a stupendous artist and it genuinely floors me when really good artists like anything ive created aaaa

you can also find me on instagram and twitter

my twitter is aestheo_ but really i only repost the same stuff i post on here onto there

my druck and andi mack fanart insta is also aestheo_, my instagram again is mostly just the same as on here, but usually i post it there first, also i post like process stuff in my stories sometimes, and maybe a sketch or two that i dont post on here, its like my dumping ground lol

my personal art instagram is bigth0tenergy even tho i havent posted any new art in like ages 😞

#ask #1988artist #canaan answers #genuinely so thankful for this omg

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v-le · 6 years ago

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Kmusic: My artists in 4 months

Foreword: PHEW this one took a while.... but I have really had so much on my mind lately that i knew i just HAD to churn this one out asap... I also would’ve tried to include videos rather than images but it’s a pain in the butt... I guess my vids will be top secret for now hehe. But really. a true blessing, these 4 months. Ah, I still really cant believe it..

If you were to ask me how I felt about my first semester at Yonsei and simply the past 4 months in Korea, from August 21st to December 23rd, I would probably just emphasize how grateful I am. But to narrow down this deep affection for all the happenings, I would have to do so in a music context. It is such a fascinating and seemingly mundane thing to go on about: Why does my music mean what it means to me to this day? How have those values shaped my experiences in Korea so far? What does it mean for me going forward? These are questions I want to ask myself, reflect upon, and continue to explore as I await to begin another journey in Korea once again.

If I rewind to when I first started listening to Korean music, it would be when I was… I don’t even know. I was exposed to it since I was about 7 or 8 years old, when my sister was sucked into the very beginnings of OG K-pop: Wonder Girls, Big Bang, 2NE1, Super Junior, SNSD, SHINee, you name ‘em all. I’ve talked about this a lot, but during those days I was never particularly interested in that side of music. It didn’t make much sense to me and it just sounded mreh. But after several years of this exposure, I fell into my own K-pop obsession-hole starting with LEDApple, a very unassuming, catchy-music-making band. I was in it for the music. At first.

Okay, now fast forward past my kpop era: you can read all about it in my very extensive post from about a year ago here. But yes, lets leave that chunk of my life behind and think about where I stand from a “music maturation” perspective. Right here. Right now.

I cannot pinpoint the exact moment or day or time in which I fell into the “deeper” side of Korean music. I am pretty certain that it simply occurred naturally, gradually. What I know for a fact is that I owe so much of myself to my music. At any given point in my life thus far, my music has defined a large portion of my identity: it really does mean a lot to me. I am constantly listening to music. To narrow this down into my current self’s context, my music mostly consists of Roy Kim, Sam Kim, DAY6, Kim Feel, Fromm, Jung Sewoon, Eddy Kim, Kwon Jin Ah, and many many many others.

These artists, the music that they make, is not K-pop. It never will be. I don’t care what those stupid Spotify playlists call some of the songs from these musicians, but they are not and never will be K-pop. (At most DAY6 could come closest to fitting). My discovery of each and every one of these artists varies from person to person of course, but most of my sentiments remain the same all throughout. I would give my everything for these people. But I want to make it very very very clear: it is not necessarily these PEOPLE, these faces, these appearances, these artists themselves that I am oh-so enthusiastic about. It is their voice & music. That is honestly all it really comes down to at the end of day. It is and has always been about the music.

I owe my deep appreciation for my music to several various factors ranging from emotionally & mentally detached parents & family, my somewhat introverted personality, and my incessantly over-analytical mindset. However, what exactly constitutes this deep appreciation is what I want to explore. A certain fact is that I hated high school. As I grew up through the ages of 13 to 17, I completely despised the American public education system that was high school. Without getting into the complex details about my community that was the heart of Silicon Valley and the various cultural pushes, I just have to say that high school felt like a sort of mental torture for me.

And during all those times, when I needed it the most, when I felt so completely lost, when I felt like no one would listen to me, nothing could console my distressed heart and mind, I always fell back to many of those artists listed above. Particularly to Roy and Sam. I owe them SO MUCH. They literally changed my life.

Home. 영원한 건 없지만. Your Song. These three songs, my life songs. Their lyrics literally saved my life. They mean everything to me. Without these songs from Roy & Sam, I would not be where I am today.

All my artists that I mentioned make their own music. They write, compose, produce, everything. They are the true masters of their voices (see, not K-pop). And so, when I listen to them, when I absorb their voices & melodies, I can sometimes really feel their sincerity, their yearning. I am so thankful for what they have produced for this world and for my ears to hear. However, within the past 4 months, I got to see, know, understand, and FEEL these artists on a whole new level.

In chronological order, here is a list of the artists I saw live &/or in person during my time in Korea thus far:

08/31 Roy Kim & Son Seungyeon @ Picnic Concert

09/01 Monogram, Baek Yerin, Kwak Jineon, Paul Kim, Bol4, Crush, Urban Zakapa @ Someday Festival (Day 1)

09/02 Fromm, Jo Hyunah, Jung Sewoon, Roy Kim, Yong Junhyung & Yang Yoseob, K. Will @ Someday Festival (Day 2)

09/08 DAY6 @ You Made My Day Fanmeeting

09/20 Roy Kim @ SNU Fall Festival

11/02 Roy Kim & Kim Haon @ Daellim Univ. Halloween Festival

11/04 Nam Woohyun (& Jang Dongwoo, Kim Sunggyu, Lee Sungyeol) @ 식목일 (Day 3)

11/10 Fromm @ Seoul Music Forum Mini Concert & Free Fansigning

11/11 Eddy Kim @ Miles Apart Album Fansigning

11/22 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Release Showcase

12/01 Sam Kim @ "Sun And Moon" 1st Album Fansigning

12/09 Fromm @ "Midnight Candy" Mini Album Release Concert

12/16 Roy Kim @ ROchestra Live Tour 2018 (Seoul Day 2)

12/21 Sam Kim @ Lotte Tower World Park Christmas Busking

12/22 DAY6 @ "The Present" Christmas Special Concert (Day 1)

Breakdown:

Free: 5 events

Paid Tix: 6 events

Album Purchase & Application: 4 events

🌹 Roy Kim: 5 times

🌚 Sam Kim: 3 times

🌓 Fromm: 3 times

🎸 DAY6: 2 times

As an avid fan of many of these artists for YEARS, like Infinite for 8 years, Roy for 5, Sam since his debut in Apr. 2016, DAY6 since their debut in Sept. 2015, Fromm for over 4 years, Eddy for over 5 years, etc etc. I NEVER thought I would actually get to see or hear these people live. Okay, granted I saw DAY6 live back in Oct. 2017 as well as Sam & the entire Antenna fam in Sept. 2017, both in LA. But doing 3 fansignings????? Meeting and talking with Fromm, Eddy Kim, AND Sam Kim???? Seeing Roy FIVE TIMES??????????? Three times for FREE, once at a festival, and then even being able to go his end-of-the-year solo concert???????? Y’all…. It was literally a dream come true. A stroke of luck tenfold. Twelvefold. I saw at least one treasured artist a total of fifteen times. Whether it was at a college busking event, the Someday music festival, a fansigning, a fanmeeting, or even a solo concert. I was somehow there.

Seeing Roy live was something I thought I would never ever ever in my lifetime get to do. As I explained in my 1st semester wrap-up post found here, Roy’s situation with school made my hopes seem very bleak from the get-go. But still, my luck persisted 5 times throughout. I almost, nearly, COMPLETELY failed to acquire a ticket for his ROchestra solo concert, Seoul Day 2 show. It was probably the most energy-draining, stressful, painful and TERRIBLE ticketing experience I have ever experienced. And trust me, I’ve done lots of ticketing before (unfortunately). But after 1 hour of staying glued to that PC bang computer screen, I managed. And I went. And maybe I’ll have to do a separate post for it, but Roy Kim’s concert on December 16th, 2018, was the best concert I have ever been to in my life. Easily. It was so breath-taking.

But yes, enough with Roy. Fromm is my ultimate indie goddess and she has a charm that is so indescribably perfect. She decided to release a mini album over a year since her last one, in the middle of November while I was there and I wanted to DIE. It was suchhhhh a solid release, and I even got to attend a free fansigning with her as well for her solo concert for the album release. I LOVE her cheeky personality so much. And she really is just sooooo kind. I couldn’t have much of a conversation with her due to the time constraint, but I at least got to snap a quick selfie heh (which i wont exposed bc privacy ya feel??). Her solo concert was gorgeous in every single way; I honestly would be willing to pay any price to go to it again in a heartbeat. Even though it was for her “Midnight Candy” album release, it was basically a Fromm discography concert because she sang EVERYTHING and I was THIS close to wanting to cry because I just felt so grateful & happy in those moments. I love her I really do. Ah, also, 2 out of the 3 times I saw her, I wrote to her & posted on Instagram and she liked both posts for me :”).

Sam…. My luck with Sam was out of this world honestly…. I still get goosebumps thinking about how blessed I was to see Sam 3 times, 2 times in very special instances. First off. He announced the release of his FIRST FULL album after a TWO YEAR & A HALF HIATUS. Y’all. This boy hadn’t released anything for 2.5 entire years since his debut and then suddenly WHAM he does it. Somehow right when I was in Korea. AH… I still….. I’m still screaming inside. I screamed aloud in my room for a good 5 minutes straight when I first saw the news, and yes, to this day I am still screaming. His three pre-release tracks were GORGEOUS & Sun And Moon, track 1, literally brought me to tears without even trying. I had been missing his voice and presence for so long…

And then, for the full album release, Antenna announced a post in which if you pre-order his album when it comes out & email the Antenna staff with the receipt showing proof, you will be put in a drawing to attend his live showcase on the night of its release. OHMYGOSH. I knew I had to do it. I struggled a little bit & even felt like I was doing everything so untimely, but I am SO blessed that I really was able to order & pay for it, shoot Antenna an email real quick, and then nervously await my results for like a week. That one Friday the results were to be emailed out, I remembering feeling extremely anxious all throughout the day. I desperately wanted to go…. And at 6:00PM…. I got the email!!!!! I was literally shaking, hands & knees trembling and everything. I actually got invited to the ‘Sun And Moon’ 1st Album Showcase!!! Y’all!!! It was so amazing. It was the night before I had to leave to Taiwan early in the morning so it was quite stressful, but still!!!!! I felt so honored to be there that night: the venue was extremely intimate and Sam was soooososoooo gooooddd and the tracks he sang were sooo beautiful and just… everything about it was like a dream. I was truly blessed.

A week later…. Antenna announced Sam’s first FANSIGNING & once again I was overwhelmed with this “OMG I WANT TO GO, but how, should I really, but what about….??”. It was a physical album-purchase-based application process which means I had to go to this specific bookstore in Gangnam, buy x-amount of albums, and based on that amount, my name will be put into a drawing that many times. Very basic fansigning grounds. I already pre-ordered his album for the showcase, so I honestly didn’t really need another one… but I decided to test my luck & just purchase 1 measly album & see if that ONE album will help me get chosen. And o boy. I GOT IN :”)). When I saw my name on that list in the official fancafe post, I couldn’t believe it….

On the day of the fansigning which was happening inside a mall, starting at a certain time I was able to walk in and choose a random number from 1-100 and since I arrived early, I got to choose pretty early as well. When I saw my number I literally gasped aloud: #7. I know it’s a corny & cliché favorite number but only bc infinite ok. Being #7 meant that I literally say FRONT & CENTER of the stage…not even stage. There wasn’t a stage... it was just an open area. My turn came around very quickly because I was early and let’s just say I was a fking mess, repeating thank you over and over & literally, incessantly telling him how thankful I am for his music and how grateful that after all that time he took to came back, he came right when I was in Korea and how I was at Antenna in LA & his showcase too and thank you thank you, yadda yadda. Yeah…..I suck at these things I really do. Then, at the end of it all, he took a picture with the crowd of fans and ended up sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME LMAOOOOOOO. Okay here is a picture of maybe my biggest life accomplishment??? jk but no rly LOL.

look ma, i made it :”)

But really, the fact that I actually got to talk to Sam & just try to relay all my thanks that I have been owing to him for many years… wow… I’m still in shock and I am just so eternally thankful. I used to think to myself “damn, I wish I could talk to Sam one day” and damn…. I really did do it…

Eddy Kim was also another meeting that I could have only dreamed of before coming to Korea… His last release was 4 goddamn years ago oh my gosh… This fansign application was not a random drawing like Sam’s but just a “buy his album at this bookstore & u get in” sort of thing. To be honest I could blatantly tell that Eddy’s popularity is definitely not as comparable to the other artists that I cherish & I was quite shocked by this revelation. I knew for sure in America, who the hell would ever know him. But even in Korea, he seemed… just really not that well-known, especially from a music perspective. It was interesting and even a little disheartening to see. He was very kind & cutely impressed with my Korean skills and we literally just talked in a bunch of Konglish & once again I just kept repeating how thankful I was for his music in my life. How I waited for so long and his release literally matched up with my time there as well. Even though I never got to hear Eddy sing live, I am more than happy with the fact that I simply got to chat with him & relay my heart as best as possible.

After doing 3 full fansignings I have fully realized that as grateful for the opportunities I am, they are so difficult and stressful… To be given such a short amount of time to spill out my heart is essentially impossible for me LOL. I’d rather much LOVE to just to sit down with these artists not to fangirl or cry, but to have a real, genuine conversation about their music and why it holds so much sentiment for me. I would love to ask questions about their music and I would love to share with them how much it means me & why I am so thankful at the end of the day. That’s what I really wish I could do. Because even as I hurriedly expressed my countless thanks and probably sounded like a hot mess, I feel like I still just came off as a surface-level fan saying their thanks. But noo! In reality, I just wanted to relay how much their music means to me (I literally just typed this wow repetition is gr8). Which I feel like I really couldn’t do properly… I couldn’t get my heart across all the way ☹ but it’s okay because as I’ve been repeating, I am infinitely thankful nonetheless.

My first DAY6 event, their 3rd year anniversary 1st fanmeeting, was a bit of a flop for me simply because they talked wayyyyy to much & played stupid games & everything… and it was cute, but not what I was there for. I kinda wished I heard more of them singing, but it’s okay. In no way am I undermining this monumental day because I know it meant a lot to the boys & fans collectively. Jae could not participate due to health reasons & it definitely put a huge damper on the entire atmosphere, but the members tried their best and the entire audience even consistently sang aloud all of Jae’s parts during the songs when his voice was not there. They also sang a never-before-released track with Jae and they all just cried a bunch and me, sitting there, watching those light-wrist-band-thingies glow & beam & shine in-sync with the music, all sorts of colors, in a massive wave of lights & fanchants & music sewn together… wow it was honestly stunning & one of the most awesome spectacles I’ve ever experienced. Korean fans are really something else….

Speaking of which, attending 15 events during my 4 months there taught me many things about Korean concerts & fans that I find so extremely fascinating.

For most concerts, whether they are super hype-y & K-pop-y or a ballad one with minimal need for movement, when there are seats, fans with stay seated for the most part. In America, I feel like all fans tend to automatically stand (for basically all K-pop acts) regardless of the seating. But in Korea, at my experiences with DAY6 in particular (I also have heard that BTS in Seoul was the same), fans stayed sitting basically all throughout. The most like bodily movements they require would be the waving of their lightsticks. It was honestly pretty refreshing to see a generally calm & collected audience, at least where there was seating.

The fanchants are out of this world !!!!! Especially for the 2 times I saw DAY6, the fans were so on point with their fanchants: they were loud and clear and crisp AND THEY MATCHED WITH THE LIGHTS ON THEIR WRISTBANDS AND EVERYTHING wow was that so cool to see… The fans are super in unison & it honestly adds such a new level of energy to the experience.

SINGING !! Of course, since all these fans are Korean, they can actually sing all of these songs at concerts, unparalleled to international fans lol. One really cool moment at DAY6 that I will probably remember forever simply because this song is gorgeous & means a lot to me… but at day 1 of DAY6’s ‘The Present’ xmas concert series, Wonpil said “We’ve been on world tour for a while now and I’ve been wanting to try this out… if I play this song, can you sing for me?” and of course we all unconditionally said yes. And he started to play 그렇더라고요 on the keyboard & the ENTIRE AUDIENCE caught on immediately & we all sang the entire intro & first verse together in unison, as loud as we could, as the members joined in one by one w/ their own instruments, just watching us as we SANG FOR THEM. It was so cute & we even did it again with 장난 아닌데. This sort of stuff…. Wow…. Can only really happen at a domestic concert, which was honestly so so so beautiful. I LOVED IT!!!

No crazy, constant screaming during every part of the performance. Fans in Korea honestly only scream when necessary… ya feel? Sometimes at concerts, I feel like fans are just screaming at the top of the lungs the entire time, during every second of a song. But Korean fans chant when there is a chant, and cheer & scream when it really fits the situation. I really liked this more toned-down atmosphere from the Korean audiences.

I think that’s all I can really narrow down from my various experiences at Korean concerts compared to the ones in America… It really is quite different though, and I feel so honored to have witnessed this comparison countless times. I am really just honored to be there at those moments in general.

Which brings back around to this… upgraded level of connection towards my artists. After seeing so many of them in person and more than once for that matter, when listening to their music now… something definitely sounds different. When I listened to these artists before I saw them right in front of my eyes, their real, authentic voices blasting into my ears, I still felt moved, I still felt goosebumps, choked up, a bulging affection sometimes. And not that I have lost those feelings, no, definitely not. Now… now, when I listen to these artists through my earbuds or through my laptop… I can literally hear them in my ear. Does that even make sense? Well, duh… of course I can hear them. But like… it’s like… I can hear them on a much more intimate level than ever before. Now, I can really imagine & sense these voices in my head. I can pick up the sound of their breaths, picture their expressions, and really just HEAR their voices as if they were physically singing into my ear right there in that moment, in person. It’s such a peculiar and special and unique feeling that is honestly so hard to describe with just words…

But to be honest like… to this day I still cannot wrap my head around everything. I can barely count and keep track of all the artists I saw and when I saw them and what they sang. I feel like SO MUCH happened that my mind can barely grasp it all, as much as it wants to do so so badly… I still can barely comprehend it… years ago I would cry to Sam Kim, ponder how amazing he would be live… and then literally somehow, he sang two songs like 7 feet in front of me, and even sat right next to me. I thought Fromm was a goddess from another world: but I somehow got to talk to her & even take a selfie?? What?? I thought the world would never let me see Roy who always has his school life to manage as well…. But I got to see him live 5 times?? And even go to his solo concert?? WHAT??????? HOW????????? YOU GUYS, I could honestly go on and on and on because it still all feels like a dream…

In particular with Roy Kim… I say this to myself all the time, the irony is just… wow. Who would’ve known that after years of watching countless fancams, effortlessly memorizing his scarce yet existent fanchants, also memorizing set-lists without even trying, becoming all-too-familiar with things like the way he talks, addresses the crowd, sings specific songs, even all the way down to the way he does adlibs for certain songs… I unknowingly picked up & knew these performance aspects SO WELL through pure admiration, enthusiasm and just LOVE for every song he sings. And who would’ve known, that years later, I would have my very own fancams to cry over. After years of literally watching almost EVERY fancam of him on youtube, at all the various events he performed at, some years more frequently than others, today I can proudly say that I have my very own fancams of him, too. Ohmygosh, it’s still so hard for me to believe…

It really just….. *breathes deeply & tries to recollect self for the 24980164th time*…. It just goes to show… No, okay I don’t really know what it goes to show… But one thing is a fact: loving, cherishing, being thankful for, dedicating so much of my emotional & mental strength towards these seemingly-no-one artists has paid off tenfold. No, billionfold. I don’t even know. I just…. I just never thought I could do and see and hear and experience the things that I did. Never. These people…. These people have given me so much, and although I tucked them deep into the folds of my heart for years, I never thought I could truly open up these treasured feelings one day & TRULY support them with my very own eyes & ears & heart. IN person. I am just so so so blessed. So thankful. Really. Always.

Now, it’s time to bring myself to reality & to think about what this means for me going forward. I don’t want to believe in my passion for my music as a phase: Infinite & all things K-pop wasn’t simply a phase for me. It literally was a maturation, a self-realization, a loss of support for the things I never really knew or understood until time started to pass. I don’t think I grew out of K-pop. I think I simply grew with K-pop & got to understand more about it. And with that understanding came a change of heart. Which is literally the title of my post from years ago: “why I fell out of love with K-pop”. It’s not just “Oh, I am older now. So, I don’t want to like this seemingly childish stuff”. No, it was never about K-pop’s image or whatever. I can’t emphasize more, but it always comes down to the music for me.

Infinite has been and is a piece of my life that I will never forget. A piece of my life that has literally brought me to where I am today. I sit here, with my experiences and knowledge and feelings, in part, due to Infinite. I can guarantee anyone that much. And so, no, they really weren’t just a phase. Things change, people grow older, time flows. That’s just how it works. Does my heart ache over old K-pop like every day? Hell yeah it does LOL. But there’s nothing I can do about it. I can only thank old & 2nd-gen K-pop for the amazing memories that it has given me.

And so, with my music and my artists today, is this all a phase? Will I stop being as enthusiastic years later, like I did with Infinite? You see, with Infinite, I was always apprehensive. At the age of 12, I KNEW that time would eventually take its toll & my blatant love would not necessarily transcend the years that will drag on in the future. But that never made my appreciation for them dim: it only grew stronger as the days went by. I think I am always apprehensive. I think I always fear losing the feelings that I feel with great passion & love at this moment in time. Just as Roy says, 영원한 건 없지만. Nothing lasts forever (but...). I literally think about this all the time. It is such an important concept to me, and it is how I motivate myself to be thankful for everything and everyone and to just take things one step at a time. And so, to really answer my question: is this all just a phase?

I really, honestly, hope… No, I just think not. I really do not think so. At the age of say, 24, five years from now, will I still be loving Roy & Sam & DAY6 & Fromm & everyone else? I really honestly hope so. For as long as they can make music, I can keep loving them, right? Just as Infinite has done since I was 11, 8 years ago, up until today, I firmly believe that my artists can continue this long-lasting impression on my life. They instill a sort of magic & sentiment in my life that almost nothing else in this world can do for me. And for that, I will stay grateful for & only hope for the best.

Roy is currently back in school right now, finishing up his last semester before he finally gets to graduate! I am excited and proud and a bit sad all at the same time. But honestly, it really just comes down to the humanness of these people. When I first saw Infinite back in 2013 as a lil 14 year-old, I guess you could say I was starstruck. I was like “that’s them??!?? Those dudes ive spent countless hours watching through the computer screen?????? THEY ARE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME?”. I had similar thoughts at the LA K-pop Festival in Apr. 2014 when I saw many many many of the big, og k-pop groups at that time. It was hard to believe that these people are real. I would say that my experience with the “With Antenna” in LA concert back in Sept. 2017 made me come to this important realization. That was the first concert where I actually spent the entire time sitting down and just listening. Listening to these wonderful musicians playing their instruments & singing gorgeous songs & just absorbing all that godly magic in the air at that place in time.

I really got to feel how human artists are at the end of the day. K-pop is always built up to be this larger-than-life dynamic, but real artists… No, they’re so much more different. They are simply people, like you and me, with a passion for their music & they wish to share that passion with the rest of the world. That’s it. The sincerity & genuineness that goes into my artists’ music can literally be felt from all the way across the world, just through a few audio snippets, fancams, and grainy Instagram videos. And that is seriously so beautiful. They are so amazing at what they do, they truly are.

Roy’s last two songs from 2018 were purely love song ballads, and I am not complaining or anything. As solid and classic as these tracks were, I still miss that acoustic, healing tone from him. Before he left for school again, he mentioned several times that he wants to come back with music that will console listeners. I was honestly so genuinely happy to hear this. He knows, he honestly, really does. He has even said it before, but he knows that his music can literally lift people back up from the dead. He wants to do that for them. For you and me, who struggle in life when the going gets rough, he wants to be of some sort of help, no matter how minuscule. He knows, he really does. And that is just so beautiful. I am so proud of him & I can’t wait to see what he will have in store for us in the coming months (after his grad, that is).

To all my artists that made these 4 months feel like a literal dream: Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely. Thank you. Always.

늘 고마워요.

#korean music #roy kim #rochestra #sam kim #sun and moon #fromm #midnight candy #day6 #infinite #woohyun #eddy kim #am i missing anyone #prolly am #sigh i still cant #im so so so blessed #thank you for everything #ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

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