#this is what ive been missing all along
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it is so freeing to go against the rules. makes me oh so very happy
#this applies to a lot of things but today i dapped a guy up (wouldnt usually do that bc religious purposes)#i was contemplating it but i said fuck it and dapped bro up and my god the euphoria i felt. Unmatched#Not because of the dap itself its the whole like. 'im a guy too and im letting myself do this' aspect thats like ohhhhhh#this is what ive been missing all along#it sounds so silly and trivial that a fucking DAP is giving me insane gender euphoria but it REALLY IS ive been thinking abt it all day#shout out to bro 🤙 youre a real one
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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no, im not done talking yet
BUSY BEE? EXCUSE ME? EXCUSE MEEEEE?
#wtf why is he gay#no on screen chiscara interaction but bro has a new boyfriend help#sethoscara is what ive been missing all along.#its so perfect#theyre so perfect together#?#wdym sethos follows scara around?#WDYM hoyoverse?#WDYM?#sethoscara
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AHAHAHH FINALLY ANOTHER NEW DOODLE PAGE. A COLLAGE OF OLD DOODLES, NEW DOODLES, DOODLES WITH MINIMUM EFFORT, AND DOODLES WITH ALOOOT OF EFFORT. SOME DRAWN ONA TABLET, MOST ON A MOUSE, BEEN IN MY WIPS FOR AGES JUST TTAAAAAKKEE IT BRO I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE. ANYWAY HHEEELLLOOOOOO CHIPS GROWTH OVER 100 EPISODES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT?? BECAUSE I SURE WILL. IN MY TAGS.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi riptide#jrwi show#jrwi riptide spoilers#cw blood#chip jrwi#BARRK BARK BARK STARTED THIS WAY BEFORE EP 109 OKAY HHOOOOLY SHIIITT MY BOY.. MY BABY BOY..#HE HAS COME SO FARRRR CAN I BE HONEST? NEEEVER SAW THE FIRE MOTIF COMING#WHEN HE GOT THE WAVE TATS I WAS LIKE awweeyeaaaa ive been headcanoning him with a single shitty faded wave tattoo on his fore arms#BUT TTHEENN THE SECOND ARENA AND THE FIRE AND THE AAARURUGHHGHH IM SSOOO HERE FOR IT#BUT LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME WELL RIGHT NOW. I BELIEVE THAT CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH.#THE THING THAT FUELS THE FIRE. THAT GIVES IT GROUND FOR WHICH TO THRIVE. CHIP IS SO FOUNDATION TO ME#GILL MOON JAY SUN CHIP EARTH!!!! IM RIGHT!!! IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME I BETTER SEE SOME HHHAAANDS!!!!!!#I HAd so much trouble drawing his tattoos oohh my GOOODD those were the biggest reason i didnt finish this for so long#even now im still iffy but WAHTEVERRR. i love just drawin chip all beat up and sad#hes so tragic and unfortunate. remember when before they entered the black sea. the dude asked if anyone would miss chip. and he went 'no'#like just on impulse. n then jay n gill were like what?? dude no?? youve built up so much? what about all the friends along the way?#n chip was like oh. huh. yeah i guess so. HES SO USED TO BEING NNOOTHIHNGGG remember when he started getting sensitive abt#getting called bastard. OHH REMEMBER HIS SAD BOY ARC.. all the pressure all the ridicule all the misfortune all the failure and guilt#all crashing down onto the head of some wannabe pirate#oh my boy. youve grown so much! and in such a distorted way. what will arlin think when he sees you now?#OHH HOW I HOPE OTHERS NOTICE THAT LIL DOODLE WITH CHIP TAKING HIS FIRST KILL. SLOWLY PLUNGING A BLADE INTO MEAT.#ITS HARDER THAN YOU THINK BUT ONLY FOR A SECOND. AND THEN ITS EASY. JUST SO SO EASY. NOT MUCH BLOOD. IT TRAILED DOWN TO HIS SLEEVE#YOUR FIRST KILL WASNT A BRUTAL BLOODY MESS. IT WAS SAD. IT WAS SCUFFED. BUT IT WAS CLEANER THAN SOME. A BREATH SILENCED IN MERE SECONDS.#IT LEFT A STAIN ON YOUR SLEEVE. THATS ALL THE KILL LEFT BUT YOU CARRY THAT. YOU CARRY THAT INTO A NIGHT OF CHEER AND JOLLY#YOU CARRY THAT STAIN. YOU STOLE THIS BLOOD. YOU TOOK THIS LIFE. CERTAINLY THIS HAS TO STOP AT SOME POINT. AND IT MIGHT ASWELL END WITH FIRE#LOVE U CHIP MWAH#EDIT: IF U SAW ME FORGET TO DRAW CHIPS MISSIN TOOTH IN THE TOP RIGHT: NO YOU DIDNT
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how did dorym nation go from winning so hard to losing so hard in the span of 2 episodes....MAKE IT MAKE SENSE 😭😭😭
I. KNOW. i just keep thinking about how things would be different if dorian had been able to stay or pop in or even just if the sending stones worked. i think there's going to be so much pain and frustration and anger from dorian not necessarily with orym but like. i keep thinking about "no debts between us". and how whether it's internal and how orym is built or because watching the hells lately has put so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders, he's gotten to feel so indebted or something like that so as to make a deal essentially signing away his future with a hag to make up for it. but then there's an empathy there that i don't know the rest of the hells will quite have because dorian made a deal with a betrayer god to keep the crown keepers safe. they're cut from such a similar cloth in that way that i just wonder what kind of... warnings? dorian might have been able to pick up on that have slipped through the cracks without him because orym's been written off as the most stable one of the hells. i just. need to know how dorian is going to react.
#sorry it took me so long to respond! ive been on a family trip for about a week and have had no time to have coherent thoughts#i think that dorian will just be able to read orym like a book before they even get a moment alone to catch up#i don't mean to write the rest of the hells off esp fearne but orym is missing his most fierce defender and i just wonder#i don't think he would have/could Fix Him™️. but i just really wonder what damage control? he might have been able to do along the way#before orym got to the point#idk if this makes sense or means anything i've just been rotating the dorym intricacies of it all around in my brain for days#dorym#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#critical role#bell's hells
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You know what I never saw enough of in the Percicobeth heydays? And maybe it's because I was technically looking at the wrong ship, lmao, but man, fics where Percy died, or set when he was missing during TLH and SoN, and Annabeth and Nico are both mourning him and end up coming together because they both know how it feels to grieve over someone you loved romantically. Of course Grover is there and because of his empathy link, he felt it 100% when Percy finally went down for the count, and is absolutely shattered by it, probably more so than the two of them, but his relationship with Percy was deeply platonic, so the hole left in his heart is different from the hole left in theirs, and the hole left in Sally's. The ache is different.
So they all grieve together, but Annabeth and Nico slink closer because how they loved Percy was different, and that grief ends up bringing them into one another's arms and then one another's beds. And it's such a worry for the two of them. When the grief ends, will this thing between them end too?
It's even better when Percy and Nico were never a thing. Nico's love for Percy was just a painfully deep crush, and Percy's love for Nico was intensely platonic and familial but nothing more than that. So the getting together is even more spontaneous and unexpected between the two of them, especially by the two of them.
Do they end up staying together, even as the grief fades and the mourning comes to an end? Do they drift apart and never speak again? Does Annabeth feel she's taken advantage of Nico in her misery? Does he feel the same way with her? Do they use relationship as a way to avoid the grief, so it just sits there in the background looming over them, demanding to be dealt with?
#percicobeth#nicobeth#i guess i probably shouldve been looking at nico/annabeth fics for the specific percy died concept#but i did read a couple set when he had gone missing and they were good#i think one was established percicobeth except nico knew where Percy was and felt guilty returning to annabeth and pretending he didn't#and the other one? i think was more aligned to what ive written here. where nico and annabeth end up coming together in Percy's absence#happy talks pjo#i should reread them#i reread all the Percicobeth fics on ao3 a few months ago. still as good as i remembered. plus there were a few new ones!!#the ship is still chugging along!
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last minute pre-grandparent-visit room deep cleaning has revealed that within the drawer i tend to assume just has old, off generic birthday cards and theater/concert programs there are also many, many going away cards and letters and things from the last couple of times i moved away. i guess i always thought of it as such a lonely thing, and i talk a lot about how i don't think i made Real friends until recently, and not to get choked up on main or anything but i think maybe i was completely fucking wrong
#Real friends = deep friends and admittedly it's hard to have deep connections with ppl when you're like 10#and also hard to have deep connection with people when you don't understand yourself at all (bc how could you share it?)#but i was so profoundly loved.#and it's not like the bday cards and stuff aren't a part of that they're just so.. obligatory? whereas such cards from friends is. guhhh#like they missed me. maybe they still do at least a little bit. ahhhhhhh#like i was a shithead but i meant something to a lot of good people and so many of these aren't from just one person#they're a bunch of them coming together and bringing along inside jokes i only half remember and drawing my fucking ocs like GUYS.#GUYS I LOVE YOU GUYS. i may not remember all of you but you were like. goddd i think you made this bearable#and im so glad i saved these. i didn't know there were so many#speaking of which i also found THREE count em THREE decks of cards i know for a fact i have never used bc i have a favorite deck and it's#not those. what off the wall madness was i planning where i needed three non-matching decks of cards within sleep-reach at all times#anyway im reorganizing bc like 10% of that drawer was stuff i actually needed regularly (literally Just the knives) and it's a nightstand#so it should be like. stuff i frequently need like pens and junk. idk#like it's not as if i don't think about how my moving away hurt ppl like i've been abandoning ppl against my will my whole life#but i guess ive been thinking of it as some kind of responsibility or guilt thing? or painful in a me-centric way. they sent me off#with well wishes though they poured their hearts into these. they drew and printed photos and made little crafts bc they loved me#and that's what you do when someone you love has to go away. waughhhhgghhghbn
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aughhhh. aughhhhhjhhhh
#everhoneignore this post classic rant post i don't have real problems everyone can move along#truly have had such a bad couple of days here and i am not even close to finishing the assignments i need to finish in welding being in#clsss makes me want to quit and die i don't know why i'm so slow i don't know why everyone else can intuit this stuff and improve and#understand how to do it and im always always falling behind if i could try harder wouldn't i be able to do that ive got no drive to push#myself at all i guess i like the english and i can do the physics i thought i at least liked drafting and metals fabrication but i feel so#stupid everything i do makes me feel so stupid and my teacher talks to me like i'm always doing everything wrong when i do some classroom#ettiquette breaches that everyone else does too and i can't get myself to go to sleep on time can't get myself to go in early i have hours#and hours and hours and i blink and it's gone and i've done nothing i should've welded today and gone in early to draft but i didn't because#im stupid and im slow and i can't do anything right i have always been able to square away a little bit of pride on being precise on doing#things well because people are always telling me that i am but i am below average here i just can't do things right and i feel like everyone#hates me and thinks i'm obnoxious and i don't know how to interface with my class or my teacher or how to improve or how to be less anxious#and i feel even stupider for that because i am so stuck up not being able to deal with even a little bit of failure or issue or hardship#and everyone around me is sick all my classmates and people in my dorm are sick im sure it's covid they haven't said it's covid but none of#them would test and i've been wearing a mask again but im certainly been exposed to it already and no one else is wearing a mask anyway so#what difference does it even make and i can hear them coughing in my dorm and in the classroom and when i go to get food and i miss seeing#my friends from philly and everuthing will be terrible forever and ever#alex talks
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emotional support group for autistics who got called condescending and rude as kids just for responding to things directly and still not knowing how they were being mean
#what did i do#i got constantly told by my mother and step father (and his family) that i always talked like i knew better than they did or that i was#just as mature. i was just fuckjng talking what the hell did you want me to do#why do you feel attacked when a 10 year old speaks to you as an adult????? literally what#i dont know on that note sometimes its just like i dont even feel like ive aged at all#sure i have a giant explosion of time in my head just Gone from my memory because i was getting abused but like i dont feel like ive aged#or really matured ive felt like ive alwats felt#i cant relate when epople are like me when i feel all my ages or i wish i could go back to being x age or being x age everything felt so#different..like no it didnt. or im missing something?#i have never in my life felt like anything has changed. ive always been this old. there is no ''inner child'' and ive never had childhood#innocence or a nostalgia or childhood to go back to. i have no idea what any of you are talking about ever👍#ugh jst rmemebred skmething that happened with my white step dad's mother#we visited her house and she literally fucking didnt let me go (not physically) until i replied to her with Correct Granmar. what was i#doing? i was reaponding to her by saying ''yeah'' and she kept repeating ''yes'' like telling me to say yes instead of yeah and i didnt#Fucking Get It because guess what you old white cracker i barely fucking speak english and you are just saying things in an aggressive tone#like thats gonna make me get it. and i Didnt i just kept replying yrah to her yes's and then she got tired of it and we left out the door#and theeeeen i got yelled at in the car by being called disrespectful and rude by my parents. WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?????????#those crackers never liked me LOL i literally know they didnt#ugh i rmemeber this one time my step dads father was like trying to show me some dumb boxing or karate or something punching move and he#told my mother that i was good at it because he felt i had a lot of aggression and then NY MOTHER YELLED AT ME IN THE CAR FOR IT??????#oh fucking wonder why te kid being abused mighthave aggression but she didnt Know (apart from what She was doing to me) like why would it#be my fucking fault if he thought i had aggression in me HOW IS THAT MY FAULT WHAT DIDBI DO I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THE MOVE BECAUSE WELL#I WAS TRYING TO GET ALONG BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY WANTED ME TO DO#she was like do you know how much that embarassed me and WHAT THE HELL HE SAID IT I DIDNT I WAS LIKE#8??? OR SOMETHING???? I DONT FUCKING KNOW!!! I DIDNT KNOW WOMAN WHAT DID YOU WANT FROM ME#mothers when they mother👍
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clouds by alex g great song to almost tear up to
#date i had on sat cancelled bc she had too much work to do which me too but i was rly looking forward to catching up w her#that plus all the other stuff that has been happening#my friends' house is almost empty everyone is going home#the weather is playing along too#two of my friends are in thailand i miss both of them dearly#ive found myself subconsciously believing in some form of karma over the past few months#even if logically i dont believe in it whenever a string of bad events happen i ask myself what i did to warrant this#i think right now my crime is a lack of self discipline#making false promises to myself and not following through at detriment to my own future#i know this line of thinking isnt helpful but maybe i need it because otherwise its just. that im very unlucky#or that im meant to not be loved or things will just keep going wrong and id really like thst to not be true#the sun is shining a little bit through the clouds#maybe thats a good sign
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five yrs in forgotten valley would help akira tremendously
#stardust speaking !#'with what' i dont know#the farming game love is simply intense rn my heart aches for pixels forming trees and cows and turnips#also cuz mollys scene where she returned from a wedding of a former 'coworker' T_T not feeling like she belonged in the city#them more or less laughing at her when she spoke about her current job#oh my no1 love.....#matthew who feels like he isnt getting better & is frustrated about it#that nami scene where she admits she did intend to leave but she got hungry and wanted lou's cooking so she forgot about that & went back#premhyk akira is very.....lost to me T_T very kind and gentle but very. going along w the flow?#thinks of those lines about how they now can look at ppl at vincent & gilbert properly#while in the past they wouldve looked away & avoided them#also the line i always mention but akira taking comfort in the convo about burnt bread and jam and olive oil#lumina who plays perfectly but thats the issue because she just plays the notes. she isnt plyng like shes having fun#lumina who felt like she should become like her mother but also knows thats not what romana wants at all#luminas line about how practice feels like watching paint dry LMAAOOO I ADOREEEE her shes so. silly. so great#idk if ive ever said it here but forgetmenot valley has always been my favorite town. probably nostalgia factor but#i plyd hmds a tremendous amount LOL said i wouldnt marry muffy since i Always went for her in awl#so i went thro flora lumina nami.....rly like flora still i think shes cute#i miss leia too#also i read some of the engagement scenes and i rlyyyy like matthews and namis................(i like celias 9heart event a lot too LOL#i think shes cute#i should watch them too but i dont wanna yet ill do it some other time#also the gordy scene where he visits ur farm GOD the mc is SO cute T_T?!?!? the way they play w their dog ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#thinking about flowerworks too......although i might be flawed but arent we all......#every step you took toughened the world....#god i Have been thinking about flowerworks lately but i havent listened cuz just thinking about the lyrics makes me tear up LOLT_T#akira and their wizards......1.5..........
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#fuck me fuck me fuck me#my ex texted me last week & ive been so FUCKING conflicted about it (even tho ik i shouldnt give a single fuck)(but i fucking MISS them#EVEN THO ik i REALLY shouldnt)(aaaAAAAA)#but i havent responded yet and i dont Plan to (bc even tho i WANT to ik thats Stupid & a Bad Idea)(& probably entirely self-destructive)#but i HAVENT yet. and i havent seen them in fucking months and. but i just saw them#i just walked past them#and if my friend hadnt been there to pull me along and keep walking me over to where we were headed anyway and then walk me home...#fuck me. fuck. i think id have just... frozen#i almost did anyway#and i KNOW just walking home was the Objectively Correct move but. holy FUCK its taking all my goddamn willpower not to just.#run out into the fuvking night and find them again. what the hell is wrong with me#*i* broke up with THEM. bc they were triggering my rsd and making me spiral ((WHICH wasnt necessarily always their fault!! so i wouldve#been happy to keep managing that myself!! the way i usually do!!)) but more importantly they were APPARENTLY sneaking around behind my back#Still. apparently they were Still sneaking around behind my back.#so i left#and ive regretted that ever since. even though ive always known that was the right choice ive ALWAYS doubted. bc they were so#ugh. FUCK.#i hate everything. its so dark and confusing and terrible and it was so fucking easy to just trust them and love them wholeheartedly and#that was the thing i cant regret. i cant make myself regret that i threw myself into it completely#it was just. so lovely#and everyone keeps telling me that i did nothing wrong & that i made the right choice to take care of myself & that i should just move on#but if it was the right choice why is it so fucking awful?? why is it STILL so FUCKING AWFUL even tho i kinda thought it was getting BETTER#its been fucking MONTHS why do i still want them. why do *i* want to fucking APOLOGIZE for breaking up with them over the ways THEY HURT ME#why is it still so hard to get it through my fucking head that they didnt keep their promises!!#again and again pulling the same bullshit!! this text they sent FIT the FUCKING FORMULA. AS ALL THEIR OTHER ''im sorry can we talk'' ONES#the apology and the excuse and the offer for a conversation ''if youre comfortable and willing'' all followed by something terribly sweet#and totally disarming. and it FUCKING WORKS. EVERY DAMN TIME.#i dont WANT it to. but it DOES. and theres an extremely loud part of me that just wants to run headlong into it & say fuck the consequences#but i SHOULDNT. fucken hell i feel so uncertain abt every decision i made wrt them. but im trying to take care of myself now at least#bee speaks
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many thinky thoughts are being thinky thunk
#this sentence is so funny to me rn im giggling#anyway#thinking about how i’ve met so many wonderful people in college in just this past semester#like. i’ve one of my bestest friends who is one of the people im going to be living with next year along with two of my other#bestest besties who i went to hs with but absolutely adore. i love all three of them so much#and then there’s a whole group of wonderful people from a club that i joined that i’ve been so thankful to call each one of them my friends#when i genuinely went into that not knowing if they would end up not liking me because i was sick during the retreat and couldn’t initially#meet them or anyone else from the upper committees#and then i unexpectedly became the best of friends with a ta from one of my classes and i love her she’s so great#not to mention all of the other wonderful people ive met randomly and dont see that much but appreciate nonetheless#im so excited to meet even more people next school year when i start joining new clubs#whenever i get asked ‘whats one thing you want to do while youre here’ and i always answer meet new people#i absolutely love and adore meeting new people and the college i go to has more than delivered that#it’s genuinely so welcoming to be here and it feels like the home i haven’t felt for the past year and a half#i truly don’t think i would’ve connected very well with people at any other college than i have this one#like obviously i would’ve adjusted and odds are i would have been fine but i really do just love it here#the people and thr atmosphere and the campus and everything makes it so worth it#post about loving my friends turn post about loving my college#brought to you by a BeReal one of my bestest besties posted with the caption#‘missing our fourth piece’ aka me because i am currently not back at my college yet and thus am not with them#when i tell y’all i started sobbing my eyes out upon reading that#anyway. i am getting too emotional for 3am and i think this is just a jumble of thoughts and words#so i am going to bed (hopefully)#lacey talks
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mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom, you see its too much to ask for and i am not the doctor
read the tags for some character lore haha
#my art#artists on tumblr#fnv oc#brian sturges#<- it has been apparently three years since i last posted art of him!#i am in the midst of um. recontextualizing his and boones relationship?#i uh. think they are bad for each other and it eventually ends up in a breakup#should i elaborate#although boone is nice to him because he views brian as filler for carla#brian lets himself be enamored bc after a long string of directly bad abusive relationships#boone bombs his relationships both with brian and ty when he tells them about bittersprings#brian is a bleeding heart but i think he shoves away his thoughts on boone being a soldier bc when he warms up to him hes nice#while brian isnt from vegas he still represents that glamour and wealth. especially when he talks about the comforts he misses#these tags got out of order bc mobile sucks. anyway#hes nice because he sees a carla shaped filler#which is. super fucked.#but brian likes him treating him so nicely because its the first time in a long time to have someone romantically pursue him that way#or at least it feels that way to him#i think even before the bittersprings bombshell is dropped it becomes apparent to him that boone does not see him as equal#and holds him up to this high standard based around the idea of his dead wife that exists in his head#brian still goes along because he tells himself that he'd rather be seen highly and be codependant than outright abused... right...#but of course its very bad for him in entirely different ways#he spent this time going against his better judgement to allow boone to pursue him bc he convinced himself that he wanted this#and now that he has what he thinks he wanted he keeps trying to pump the breaks#so he becomes quiet and agreeable bc that worked in the abusive relationships why wouldnt it work for this ''''healthy'''' one#ty notices because shes been his best friend for like a decade. he knows that she knows theyre on a shared wavelength like that#but since theyre always in a group on the move theres hardly ever a beat where its just the two of them to talk about it#which also like im not gonna get into tys relationship with boone in these tags but its also very complicated#after bittersprings it all comes falling down though brian cant let himself be agreeable anymore#ive been thinking abt this for a while as ive become more of a boone hater
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got told it would "make sense" if i was a system today lads
#i *might* be losing it a lil.bit#cause like what if theyr all right#what if i have to share everythin im not good at sharing#i feel less like my self sometimes compared to other times#and i completely forget what i was doin while i was doin it but how am I supposed to know what someone else is supposed to feel like when i#barely even know who *i* am#and somtimes i have thoughts like 'i miss my kid' or 'jesus dickface would get along with him' and 'id kill to se donnie again'#and how do i know if thats my brain making things interesting cause its bored and just fitting the mold ive been presented with or if i *am*#more than just me#chloe said shes glad im not a system#i dont want to make her upset
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Mark meeting ded is just gonna be him going btw have you heard of the music producer 8ballin' 👉👈? And ae is just gonna sit there like I've been in every wrong place that you can imagine for the past half a decade you tell me
#rat rambles#splat posting#just wait until he figures out hes talking to the guy who was putting out all those sick beats during the lowest point of his life#hes going to be inconsolable#also sorry for the self indulgent mark posting Im just excited for him to get to do things again#despite technically having a lot going on Ive always felt that his limited relationships have made him the weak link of my agents#I love him sm and I love his dynamics with the others sm but he just doesnt have the bond with either of off the hook that I wish he did#but its kinda inevitable because he definitely was way too up his own ass during octo expansion to willingly talk to marina much#and pearl by extention#in fact cuttlefish is who he ended up closest to but hes been busy being off with his favorite children#so Im hoping thisll give me more ideas for him and pearl especially in the modern day when hes much more stable mentally#bestie survived the horrors of being 14 nothing will ever get as bad as that <3#now would probably be a good time to read octo expansion retranslated tbh make sure Im not missing anything super important#itll probably also be good to make sure Im satisfied with the current state of marks octo expansion stuff and rework some stuff maybe#I probably wont touch it too much but I think maybe adding some early on mark marina interactions could be good#basically give him a frame of reference for what talking to her felt like before his old grudge starts to return to him#oh yeah btw for mark his temporary memory loss was from too much exposure to sanitized ink#he did in fact go there to sanitize himself the only reason he wasnt able to was because the fumes from the shower caused his movement to#get kinda fucked up along with his vision so he fumbled about for a bit as his body fought the bits of sanitized ink that got in his system#he thought he was straight up dying so he tried to retreat but ended up running into cuttle and sash and the rest is history#his mental and physical state would worsen a bit more and only after that would his body start to slowly but surely flush the stuff out#it wasnt nearly enough to properly sanitize him or cause any coloration but it was still very much enough to effect him poorly#part of the reason that the trials helped with the memory loss was that all that movement and moving ink through his systems helped a lot#but he still struggled a Lot with it initially due to his struggles with balance and coordination#even post oe he has worsened short term memory and has some nerve damage#so yay chronic pain time#despite this he's still a duelies squelcher main because ofc he is#but in all seriousness he often does have to wear wrist braces and has had times where hes had to take extended breaks from ink sporting#its smth he struggles to accept is a limitation for him especially since the whole reason he initially wanted to get sanitized was to focus#more on his combat skills and prove himself as a soldier of great importance
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