#this is what i get for my taste in music
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Not for the first time (and surely not for the last) I thought I heard some *excellent* music in the distance...
And was immensely disappointed to realize it was just construction noises 😭
#firefly rambles#this is what i get for my taste in music#its happened an embarassing number of times y'all#metal#archspire
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august
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#quick bg study based off a picture i took of my mailbox!!! went 2 check the mail thought the light was rly pretty n had a Vision#also fate is cruel and i live surrounded by hydrangea bushes so like . yanno.#exposure therapy and all that#real talk tho i am so well equipped w hydrangea brushes now this took no time at all . u do not scare me anymore.#what did take a long time was getting a fond expression on the TINIEST YUUJI HE IS SO SMALL#HES LIKE 3 PIXELS WIDE#ik its not a char-centric piece but i still wanted his face 2 look okay#and that was so difficult when hes so far in the bg comparatively GJHKGFKJS#i also wanted to caption this w fv lyrics from june gloom#but then i learned that camilla whatshername has a song w th same name and i could not take that risk#my music taste may b questionable but i have standards#anyway uhhhhhh if hell freezes over and some1 recognizes where i live based off itfs loitering by my mailbox pls donot doxx me thank u <3
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I caved and drew the sillies again
Based on that kyle allen video ^^
#they are my everything#runs around all silly#because of that video i got the headcannon that moon just eavesdrops on other employees as they're working to hear what music they listen t#just him doing security patrols and he stumbles upon a worker listening to lady gaga LMAO#so that's where he gets his music taste guyss#poor sun doesn't get the privilege to listen to anything but the daycare theme 💔#fnaf fanart#fnaf#fnaf sun fanart#sun fnaf#fnaf moon fanart#moon fnaf#fnaf daycare attendant#liv doodles
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thinking about how eddie munson probably has a ridiculous collection of guitar picks. little jars of them. some collected at shows, some he picked up for a nickel at the only local music shop he's ever trusted to do work on his Sweetheart, some he was gifted for free at his local record shop that he's been frequenting for years now. the little old man running the record shop even gets excited when new vinyls are sent out with promotional merch, and he knows it's a band or musician eddie is into. probably even called eddie in at times and handed him a handful of metallica themed pics, hardly worth much, but solely because "i knew you like them and will find a good use for these, son".
my point is, he's got a pick for every occasion. shitty plastic thin ones for just fucking around with. thicker, nicer ones that might have been proper holiday gifts to him. the kind that are meant to hook on his fingers like rings (he tried using them a few times, especially for rifts, but ended up saying he played better when he felt the strings against his skin instead while picking away). novelty ones, ones that just looked plain cool. so on and so forth.
and he's got his collection just sitting in little jars across his room. he used to keep them in other things, like old ash trays or tin cans he'd cut and mold to be good containers. but then he started dating you, and you insisted on lending him any empty jars you weren't using. you had your own collections in yours: pretty stones found down by the creek, bottle caps of the sodas you and eddie get every time you stop at the gas station right on the edge of town by lover's lake - you even had one of every single crumpled up note eddie had ever given you over your time of dating. a few jars of those, actually. so what was lending him a few spares? at this point, the jars were a collection in themselves, and... well... it was prettier to see his vast collection in those glass jars anyways. being able to pick out the vibrant tones of the guitar pick you'd been with him as he'd purchased two weeks prior, or the pick from the show you'd gotten him tickets to last christmas. it was nice. a cute reminder of time spent, of what made eddie munson tick.
the important thing is, eddie munson isn't blind. he sees the way you look at that collection, especially after he fills the jars with it.
how some days, he'll be strumming away on his guitar, softly humming, and you'll just grab a jar to pick through. interrupting his nonsensical playing to ask him where he got one you didn't recognize, sometimes asking for the stories behind ones he knew you already knew. he'd caught on to the way you just liked hearing him talk, especially about the things he cared most about.
you also really, really liked the pick he wore as a necklace. it was probably your favorite in his collection, and you knew it was his favorite too. giving it as a gift to you was never an option, because it had been given as a gift to him originally by his mom.
so he does the next best thing.
he figures out your favorite pick in his collection. the one you always go back to, the one you ask for the story behind on a nearly weekly basis. one similar to the one always resting against his collarbones. pearly sheen, marbled tones, a slow indent the shape of his thumb being worn into the old tortoiseshell. it's a little less red, a little bit brighter, and he can't even strum it against his strings anymore without thinking of you. it's somehow become his lucky pick - the pick he cherishes most aside the one from his mom.
and the one he chooses to turn into a necklace, for you.
does it all himself. carefully piercing a hole through the top just like his own, picks out a nice chain that costs two paychecks of his, takes an old pocket knife to it and spends weeks carving your initials into the shiny material. he's gentle as hell with it, finishing it off with some gold paint to fill in the carving that matches the chain and swirling tones of the picks.
a week before christmas he nearly backs out of the gift idea, and almost begs wayne to help him go to the mall and pick out some other basic but safe gift for you. a perfume/cologne, a nice sweater, anything. wayne refuses to let him, and the only thing the gentle old man will offer is a nice box for eddie to place that necklace born of love into.
the look on your face on christmas morning, sitting in the center of the munson's living room, on the verge of happy tears as you lift the homemade necklace so gently, soothes away every single doubt ever had about it all.
and the look on wayne's face is a simple, caring, stern vision of i told you so.
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson headcanon#eddie munson blurb#im just thinking about him#stranger things#he'd be so proud of it#his cheeks would start to hurt from how infectious your grin was#you'd be so excited like 'fuck yes we MATCH'#wayne probably makes eddie cry later that night#in the kitchen as they finish making the dinner for the three of you#bringing up his mom#saying how she'd be proud of how good you are for eddie and how good he is to you#how she'd probably be obsessed with the fact you two are matching#maybe even comment on how nice it is that you keep eddie in check with having a little variety in his music taste as he gets older#i can also picture the fact that maybe some of your favorite artists were also hers#how sometimes eddie sort of feels like she sent you to him#anyways#YEAH#this is messy and a long continuous boring thought#do with it what you will since i haven't had time to write my holiday stories yet <3
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I was compelled last night and I’m quite honestly scared of whatever 11:59 PM me intended for those middle sections. At least I still know my colors when sleep deprived, and I’m sure someone else on here can fill the blank spots out better than I can on a full eight hours of shut-eye.
#oh god on high what do i tag this with#the crane wives#the paper kites#cosmo sheldrake#fish in a birdcage#the arcadian wild#the oh hellos#dirt poor robins#the amazing devil#venn diagram#me running my mouth#im pretty sure you could put all the text boxes in this file in a jar shake it to hell and back and pour it over the diagram#and itd still make some degree of sense#says a lot about my music taste eh mates?#anyone who sees this and relates to any degree please o please say so#i have essays worth of analysis i can spit out about most of these musicians#not on command though i need to get kinda existential first#theres three paragraphs about the eurus ep hanging out in my drafts and i think my motivation for that is somewhere behind the couch#with the spiders and my childhood nail clippings
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To me, Diomedes has the vibes of someone who doesn't listen to music which is very disturbing to people who can't do anything without music *cough* Sthenleus *cough*
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the Dio doesn't have a favorite song. I believe in my heart of hearts he has one song that he listens to as a treat. The thing is idk which song but honestly I'm leaning towards sad love ballad
#Look I haven't read the iliad#yet#but from what I've heard Sthenleus has the vibes of a guy who carried around a boom box#he's the guy playing the music in the “then stop loving me” audio#he'd kill for one of those vine soundboard#but what do i nose 🤷#diomedes#my beloved#wtf do i tag this as#sthenelus#ig??#anyways Sthenleus has the worst taste in music ever#lovingly#and that's why he and Dio get along cause he's the only one who doesn't say anything when he's on aux
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please 🙏#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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YOU MAKE ME PERFECT
#forcemasc#force masc#autoandrophilia#general red and white layout inspired by the faster pussycat kill kill poster bc i love it#and youuuuuuuuu know what the rest of this is pulling from haha. felt abt time i did one based on my music taste#also wanted to do something that felt gnarlier than some of my previous ones by making it suggest at surgery far more#bc i <3 surgery. frankenstien my dog ass baby#i tend to focus solely on the man on his journey to loving himself as a man in my edits#or a fight to be seen as a man in a transphobic world and the euphoria that fight can bring when u bloody yr knuckles#and i havent done much w an implied dom/sub forcemasc situation. but this one is much more that my intent is like#frankenstien/surgeon dom and sub begging to be physically changed. 'cut me up and make me a man.'#i really personally enjoy reclaiming 'volation' and 'desecration' of the body in a. hell yes im going to sort of way#if u wanna complain that this is too vague ect ect for forcemasc get a hobby that isnt caring too much abt how strangers online play w jpeg
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i think ed would feel like in theory he ought to benefit from putting on a set of noise cancelling headphones and listening to a guided meditation but every time he tries it takes approximately 30 seconds for him to start thinking “i could be listening to system of a down right now”
#‘what do they mean lie still? am i not supposed to move at ALL?’#‘why does breathing take so long? does it always take this long??’#‘this music sucks. its like enya if you sucked out all the shit that makes enya sound kind of ok.’#‘i have an itch on my arm am i allowed to get that’#‘what would it taste like if you had to suck all the enya out of enya with a straw’#‘would this be working better if i had a buttplug in’
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s3 episode 6 thoughts
it’s been an exhausting day. work was awful. i was brave and didn’t cry whilst there. and for that, i deserve this episode even more than usual.
oooooh it’s an internet episode!!!! an episode about an internet killer!!! that probably felt new and scary back then!!! i’m excited to see something i assume as naturally dangerous as hitchhiking to be seen as scary and new. let us jump in, and enjoy the adventures of our agents, and numb ourselves to the hardship of the outside world.
these two people are in a car. he is smooth talking her. oh… they only waited three months to meet in person after talking online. hmm… is that speedy or not? i guess that depends on who you ask. for me, i’m gonna say speedy. because they didn’t even see each other’s faces before this.
he has mysterious scars on his neck. yeah, i noticed that very conspicuous camera panning. the music is very ominous. and now they’re kissing.
OH??? THERE IS A STICKY FLUID. IN HER MOUTH. an unusual one. not whatever you were thinking. what the hell… was that man some kind of insect????? there was real goop in there, man. eughhh it was very gross.
cop is approaching the car next day. and she is like. jelly? as in, covered in gel. the gelatin monster has struck and apparently he’s surfing the net.
(trust when i say i’m not a gelatin monster. or don’t trust. perhaps skepticism is better)
okay, investigation time. this guy shakes hands with mulder and entirely ignores scully. tells me a lot about his character very quickly. mulder has also got some more conventional looking shades this time around. perhaps his other ones were just not keeping the sun out like he had hoped for.
body reveal! so it seems that the goop has um. melted her skin? EUGH. mulder swabs the goop. it’s just a prop, i tell myself to avoid gagging. a prop with excellent construction that was very carefully crafted. shoutout prop team as always.
detective looks real freaked out by the goop. yeah he’s not special in that regard.
mulder says he has heard of similar killings from women placing ads in the paper! i don’t want them to separate though, as he announce he’s going on an investigation while she does an autopsy. c’mon, can’t we do some teamwork in the same room?
scully looks disgusted at the bloody goop in her hand. this is appearing to be a universal sentiment.
the goop man is at the computer typing to another woman. and smiling mischievously. we learn, from a woman dropping a key off at his door, that his name is mr. incanto, and she thinks that since he types and gets a lot of packages, he must be a writer or an editor. and she wants him to read her poems. wow. leaping to conclusions here. i admire it. it’s clear she’s flirting with him, and the idea of a person you’re attracted to reading your poems is a wild one for me to entertain. personally i would rather explode crazy style.
scully is scrubbed up <3 and she is so cute <3 i don’t mean this in a condescending way… she just looks cute in a fully “i respect her capabilities” kind of way. don’t worry. but this man is not respecting her and is shocked she’s a doctor. rude as hell… could never be me.
he says he’s old fashioned. umm okay if you want to be all manly about it how about you cut up the goop body yourself… oh that’s right you can’t. because you don’t have the skill set. or even any skill sets, as far as i can tell.
he says this is effecting her judgement because the victim is a woman and he isn’t being sexist. IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH MAN…. she is so patient even when she ought to rip his heart from his chest with her teeth
she’s making a face when he leaves like she really IS thinking about doing some heart ripping and then she gets into the recording mode. and the body has increased in goopiness. in fact. there is only a skeleton now and a LOT of liquid. oh…
mulder is asking about the murder victim, and he’s sitting on a very 90’s printed couch, and yeah he looks good. don’t worry about it. he’s asking the victim’s roommate what chat room they met in. now personally, if i was talking to people on a chat room, i would not be telling my roommate the names of said chat rooms, but maybe it was different vibe wise at that time. imagine if my roommate knew i ran a blog like this. i couldn’t picture such a thing. and the victim would READ her roommate the letters???!? OH I CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH A THING!!!!
he uses the roommate’s house phone to call scully, who is dealing with a very wet skeleton. but that’s so funny to me. he wanted to use someone else’s phone to call her. maybe his phone still hadn’t been replaced since that kid melted it in episode 3.
he’s putting out a localized online warning… is that a thing? wow. you learn so much on this television program.
“in life, bones have the tensile strength of forged iron”, says scully. and i’m giggling. n kicking my feet.
ohhh the bone is SQUISHY. it is not supposed to be this way. but it did look quite satisfying. again, props team, shoutout.
oh tea… the body fat wasn’t there!!! it disappeared. scully is like, why would he do that, steal a victim’s fat. and i would love to know the same thing.
another woman is preparing to meet with the goop monster. oh, but someone is telling her there was a warning SPECIFICALLY for woman in cleveland to not go meet people online! but she’s like nooo i’m a good judge of character. LIES LIES LIES. she’s only been talking to him for a MONTH???? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A CHARACTER IN A MONTH?
the killer’s at a fancy restaurant looking place with a bouquet of flowers and he’s checking his watch. oh and he dumps the flowers!!! queen of self preservation saved herself tonight by standing him up??? yes, it appears this is the case!!
now there are a bunch of ladies on the side of the road. i have only seen this happen in this show and never in real life, but maybe i'm not looking in the right direction. NO! he sees a woman and smiles. they go to a back alley… no!! but she won’t kiss him. okay, i think, she has a chance. alas. i was wrong. so he attacks. OH AND HE IS SLURPING ON HER BODY???? another woman finds her goop-ified.
they’re at the scene and the detective is being awful (shocker!) but mulder hands over some of the letters from the killer, and notes that they contain letters from 16th century italian poems. which tells me he is familiar with 16th century italian poems. ohhhhhhhhhh. blushing a lil.
focus. so the fellow would have access to niche italian poems, is what we are learning here. likely a college professor, or a grad student, or something along those lines.
the killer should also have a wound pattern, they note, because the woman scratched him very well.
and BLEGHHHH, cut to his place, where he’s cutting his wound??? like straight up trimming it like it’s fabric or something. nasty nasty nasty nasty!!!
someone is bringing him a package. and the woman who asked to show him her poems asks him to dinner?!?!?! but he says he’s busy. the teenage daughter reads him for filth. he’s creepy and smells weird. delivered by a girl who meant every word she said.
scully is posing impeccably, looking as someone types on a computer. it was formidable.
mulder comes by with some results and he sort of. scoops her out of the room. 😳
theory time in the hallway! hallway theory time!! always one of my favorite times. “okay, it’s not yet the finely detailed insanity that you’ve come to expect from me” <- at least he’s self aware
FAT SUCKING VAMPIRE LET’S GOOOO. such a preposterous creature. i have to admire it.
there are examples of this in nature, right? “i don’t know too many scorpions who surf the internet” scully, you just offended the coolest scorpion alive somewhere out there. but they couldn’t hear you so it’s okay. just don’t ever say that again…
scully wants to brief the people involved in the case and the detective is again being weird. mulder recognizes this. i can see it.
okay, so the killer has some more niche italian poetry. and an email from the woman who saved herself by not showing up! nooo, i thought she had escaped!
knock at the door. it’s scully. but not at the door of the right guy!! the detective is at the door of the right guy!!!
mulder makes some remark about not being a good salesman because no one answered the door. and yeah i giggled. but she cuts him off with the fact the detective hasn’t answered his calls or returned… has he been gooped?!
now the killer is out with the woman who previously saved herself. and she sees his skin. and she offers to drive him home!!! noooo ellen :( don’t fall for his tricks and lies
the poetry woman is at his door. she puts a HUGE thing of poems under his door.
but back in the car he is about to smooch ellen. somehow poetry lady let herself into his room??? and a bunch of flies are around.
(we later learn she was the housekeeper or landlord or something so yeah. she would have access to the keys. but at the time i was baffled)
goop monster and ellen don’t smooch because he sees the poem lady is in his room!!! and the detective is in the tub!!! and he walks in right as she sees this!!! oh no. violence ensues…
her daughter comes to the door. and asks where her mom is. and he GRABS her weird as hell. and says he’s leaving.
mulder is sitting on a table again because he’s weird. but the girl calls the police!!! and they found her mom’s body and the detective's. the little girl asks scully why someone would do this and she says she doesn’t know… STOP I’LL SOB
okay, this dude’s name is virgil and there are no records of him existing. virgil. damn. maybe he’s FROM 16th century italy, because that’s a 16th century sounding name. are there any italian legends of fat sucking vampires? can’t say i’m very familiar with their lore
they’re trying to get into his computer and all the files were deleted. ohhh they have floppy disks!!! i love floppy disks 💾
the killer went to ellen’s place?!!?!? and she locks the door. ellen please pull out a glock at this time.
scully sent out a warning to everyone in proximity. and three of them were already missing!!!! that is evil :(
and ellen got the email but he’s in the room. and he starts attacking… oh lord, just as the agents roll up.
they get in formation and then kick down her door and WHEW they way they work as a team… i’m eating it up. sweeping the rooms. guns cocked.
ellen is under some sheets and coated in goop whilst mulder does parkour to go and find this guy. GO GO MULDER RUN RUN!!! his voice is all growly while he holds a shadowy figure at gunpoint, but he only runs into a teenager. no! poor kid :(
NOOO… THE KILLER WAS HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AND SCULLY WAS GOING IN THERE TO GET SOME STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF ELLEN!! he smashed her head in the mirror and he starts to goop her until ellen does in fact roll up with a glock. and shoots him in the chest. YES ELLEN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU <3
so they have him in custody now and his skin is suuuuuuper dry and peeling and nasty. and scully asks what the hell he was doing and he goes on about stuff blah blah blah and then he quotes some italian and she gets freaked and dips. and we end with a hannibal-esque shot of his evil peeling nasty face. and some contemplative music.
so. that was gross.
grossness established. i once again kind of enjoyed this episode. like was i gagging, and not in the good way? yeah i was. but again with the suspense. i think the plot could be absolutely ridiculous- like an actual fat vampire- and if the plot and pacing are the right tempo, i’ll find myself fully absorbed into it.
but i can’t help but feel that i’m missing something. the italian seemed too purposeful. is there some medieval tale of a fat vampire? i’m being so serious btw like actually. is that a reference that flew over my head? is it in dante’s inferno or something? i love history but middle ages europe always puts me to sleep so i can’t say i’m familiar with the literature or tropes beyond what i learned in art history class. where we never covered ANY sort of vampire. just a lot of baby jesus and also mary and sometimes adult jesus.
hmm. so i’m wondering here what that was about. and yeah, i could google it. but again, more fun when you tell me things.
i mean, if it was something they just made up for fun, i get that too. like earlier we had that evil mermaid baby that lived in the waterways. and we had that evil twin that looked like the fiji mermaid. and eugene tooms the lizard man. the seriousness with which the situation is played enhances the campy angle when you ponder it.
overall, it was interesting to see a world where the internet was new and fresh and scary. now it’s scary in mostly familiar ways. but it was not always this way! and while i am a little confused on the concept of the episode itself- who exactly our monster of the week was, if he even WAS a monster of traditional sort of means- i won’t lie, the episode had me invested. there were also moral questions raised about how someone could do something so evil, specifically in relation to scully’s character, which probably speaks to her biggest fear being that anyone could pose a threat, which i think i’ll contemplate at another time, because it is fascinating, especially when you consider… i think it’s s2 episode 13? where the narrative also really dives into this question. how can people do evil things, and how can good people cope with knowing that it’s impossible to know who is capable of doing terrible things?
after a hard day at work in which a million things went sideways, it does feel nice to watch my pals mulder and scully do some sleuthing, no matter the situation in which they find themselves.
the goopsterrrrrrrr
#well the episode might have been creepy but i wanted to see them tonight so i enjoyed it#i was at work today head in my hands mumbling god let me get through this i need mulder and scully time#you know what i was thinking about at work today? so far i don’t know much about their music taste#and by “much” i mean anything at all#but no spoilers… maybe it’ll be mentioned eventually. i’m keeping an eye out.#when i get further in i am going to find SO many spotify playlists for them#both of songs that relate to their characters/storylines AND songs people think they would like#i intend to let it change my life and i look forward to the experience#anyway. long day. probs another one tomorrow. just glad i had time to post tonight#but tbh i would have carved it out either way because sometimes you NEED to blorbo blog or else#juni's x files liveblog#3x06#the x files#x files#txf
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Hold Them Down has the most disturbing themes of any other track by a long shot but fuck does Ayron Alexander got some vocals on this thing
#one of those songs i wanna put on repeat in the shower or the car as loud as i can#but boy howdy will i get some questions lmao#little wolf was such a small taste of what he can do compared to this my GOD#also lyrically? DISGUSTING. this song is so fucking gross and its like perfect for that??#i wanna make another post just abt that idk im just feeling all sorts of ways about this final saga#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#hold them down
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we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆
#27% circle line with a lovely friend of mine rail tracks screeching etc etc u know the usual. im just gonna write down memories#a few weeks ago my friend read thus spoke zarathustra by the fire to the music she was dancing it was her silhouette#against the flashlight lit up gold and royal blues and tiger's silk i tried not to fall in love with her. in bordeaux we searched#for pomegranates he sent her 300 quid by the beach she cut it open with a knife her hand covered in red we each had a taste of her work#sweet red wet the sweetest grit. too barely clothed to go into the cliffside church they painted my eyes we painted hers#8 shots of gin she screamed joyfully IT'S ALIVE! at the book she said become the child i said i feel like a monster she said i was insane#i tried to believe her. fortified wine and later a red pen crossword defiled by humidity her hair in my hands two king sized beds#pushed next to each other she took her top off she told us to watch her arms raised up the musculature on her back was precise cut from#marble we saw oceans we saw the birds take cold baths the midnight sun over a wasp-infested pool our chemicals in their bodies#gold flakes dark skin gold cross shoulders against mine drawing some form of each other on the train i didn't hesitate#to say her eyes were beautiful over and over monks at the soapshop with titanium credit cards i loved you like i loved no other#he tied his hair up and walked us into the river he held a bullet between his lips i never held his hand he said what an honour#you own too much capital your mother thinks i'm a natural i realised i haven't told my mother i loved her in years she's always been mother#never mom i'll watch you watch seaweeds this is terminal akrasia i'll feel your fingers smear perfume on my lips your girlfriend grins#bite into the straw take the shot hold my hand get it all wrong draw in the sand kiss him right stab through leather shower in chlorine#you're the determinable vicissitude is all yours we won the Game AND the Battle AND the War i'm proud of you like crazy we feed each other#saffron cliffside lovers well-fallen brothers fat cats blue windows southwest sun ALife SynBio design aXAA grow us a city in silico#we've grown to the ends of glee fire-jumper ocean-eater sure-footed lists on lists hands on eyelids не устану искать тебя#...anyway ive put my face on this blog b4 but hiii again#feel free to rb btw the rants r not personal
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Okay so I have been obsessed with EPIC for a while now, and I was scrolling recently and found this little snippet floating around. Looking at the person made me think of Vex'ahlia from Critical Role, which immediately made me think of a Critical Role/Epic AU.
But instead of the normal dynamic of Odysseus and Penelope my brain immediately defaulted to Percy being the one waiting at home and making this challenge to the suitors to string Vex's old bow. And like... I don't argue with my brain when it comes to creativity. Then it started to snowball. I do not need to write an AU right now, but it won't leave my head.
Oooooh I have so many thoughts.
#critical role#epic the musical#vex'ahlia#percival de rolo#percahlia#critical role au#What does Percy make and unmake during the night? He creates and melts down parts for an intricately carved pocket watch#why is Percy being passive? Well he married Vex and moved to Syngorn of course#Where has Vex been for twenty years? Trying to get back from putting down an ancient dragon and every other monster that got in her way#What is the Bow? Feanthras obviously#Why did Vex not take it with her? Same reasoning that Odysseus didn't take his bow to Troy#Why is Vex in a position of power? Because Syldor died (of mysterious circumstances) and Velora was too young#The Dawnfather is Athena#Vesper is Telemachus#in my head Percy is draped in a mourning veil and tasteful symbols of both the Archheart and Dawnfather while making the challenge#because he is mourning both his autonomy and hopefully the suitors#while making a plea to both the god of his new home and the god of his childhood to protect his daughter#yes Vesper still gets into a Little Wolf like fight#yes she would have eventually strung Fenthras like Telemachus almost strung Odysseus' bow#I need to stop or else I am going to start writing this and I do NOT have time right now
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I hate being an alternative person in norm based fandoms/communities
#You get treated like shit for no goddamn reason its tiering#No just because my hair is dyed a different colour doesnt mean i cant enjoy the same things you 'normal' people do#i hope anyones gets what i mean#I need more alternative ppl who like motorsports/sports etc#motorsports#alternative fashion#sports#football#formula 1#Motogp#Le mans#wec#Baseball#basketball#nba#ice hockey#hockey#ice skating#soccer#Tennis#Indi 500#Ralley racing#formula e#formula 2#Gt masters#porsche cup#futbol#Rugby#music taste
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Just got back from watching Guardians of the Galaxy 3, AKA my first loves in life
I don’t care much for Marvel anymore, but holy shit that has got to be their best movie ever, it had me on the verge of an anxiety attack like 24/7, and I cried from every emotion possible, even emotions I didn’t know I had
Really just wraps everything up nicely. I was 12/13 when I watched the first Guardians of the Galaxy, around 15/16 when I watched the second one, and now here I am, 21, having pretty much grown up with these movies
Must, must, must see. I love it more than Jaskier, if that gives it any perspective lmao
#I love Jaskier#but guardians have always been my first love#when I was 16 I used to stargaze on my roof at night and ‘telecommunicate’ to every satellite that went past in case it was a guardians#spaceship to come pick me up#my bribe was that I’d even scrub the floors#and uh yeah they never picked me up but hey they gave me great taste in music#according to Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds (where I get all my psych knowledge btw) the music we listen to at 14 impacts us the most#beyond any other age#what you listen to at 14 is the most influential in your entire life#guardians of the galaxy#guardians of the galaxy 3#marvel#rocket raccoon#rocket#Peter quill#starlord
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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