#this is what I look like irl but without the antlers

[paragal]

Cringetober day 2: self-insert

[unlimitedgolden]

I wish to acquire knowledge about funny green deer man, quick list your ten favourite tidbits about the character or the Soil Charge Triad to use on you will be decided

⏱️

you've activated my toontown sleeper agent (I NEED TO PLAY IT AGAIN) This is gonna be long so I'll put the reading thing HERE

Dr. Zippety Wonderwhatsit (Just "Zip" for short) was not a generated name, it was handcrafted. "Dr." because I like mad doctor characters, "Zippety" somewhat in reference to "Zebedee" from "The Magic Roundabout", "Wonderwhatsit" to mimic when people say "whatchamacallit", and just shortened to Zip sometimes for peoples sanity.

He was just intended to be a Toontownsona, but has actually now become my fursona. In doing so he's replaced Fatlip, my previous fursona (Though I still cherish Fatlip, since he was made by an old friend I'll never see again)

Zip gets paired with a few of the different characters in TTCC. You've probably seen him with Buck Ruffler and Alton S. Crow, but Dave Brubot is the 3rd addition to his collection of Robot Wives. Zip is also paired with my boyfriends Toon "Cap'n Snappy Gigglesnout". With this, I hope it's obvious Zip is polyamorous!!

Zip does have a sibling, my sisters Toon "Little Pearl" (the kiwi). Though to explain why they're different species and still related? TL;DR what happens when a toon and a cog fall in love + headcanons on how Toons are "born" (drawn into existence) and Zip is the result of a joke, Little Pearl had more thought.

The first gags Zip had were "squirt" and "drop". For Clash players you're probably screaming at the top of your lungs for this combo and in my defence: I thought it was really funny.

A majority of the time you will NOT find Zip without a hat in game, but in art I draw him with nothing added on. This is because he looks so bald in game it hurts my soul. You'll also never find him without those shades, I've never taken them off since the moment I put them on

Zip has influenced both my internet and irl life. During my last hospitalisation I had "toontown fixation withdrawls" and recreated him in Splatoon out of desperation. After that he influenced the decision of getting circle glasses just so I could get matching circle shades, and my favourite sets of clothes that I have bought since his creation are all shades of green (a.k.a my VFX classes worst nightmare). This also means after years of not knowing my favourite colour, it's blatantly obvious what I like now

Zip, like me, is British. Just like me the angrier he gets the more British he sounds (going from "oh my god fuck off die" to "You fucking wanker piss of you tosser. dickhead"

A little ramble: Zip is probably so intertwined with myself because of transgender metaphors. I've seen deers used as trans metaphors with the whole antlers thing, either losing them (mtf) or gaining them (ftm). Sometimes I forget to draw him with antlers but I feel it fits his entire [waves hands] trans thing

FINAL FACT: Zip takes a GREAT PRIDE in his house. It is very well decorated and usually changes around with the seasons (e.g. changing wallpapers to match halloween/christmas). In typing this I realise I've missed a bunch of catalogues in game <- will never recover

OK THATS ALL I THINK <- still could talk more he feels

[niftukkun]

for the fourth and final week of @/shepscapade 's hermitcraft character design event, i offer an outfit swap between two blonde british minecraft men!

ok so im actually gonna take the opportunity to talk about how i generally design characters but especially mcyt characters. ill get to why grian and philzas designs are the way the are later but i wanna talk about how i design mcyt characters for a hot second. to start with i generally have two big rules when it comes to base character designs! they arent hard rules but i find them generally helpful when designing, again, base designs (so special one off style designs like the ones from this design challenge dont really count).

(1) is one i feel a lot of artists know, especially those in animation and comics - its KISS! aka 'keep it simple, stupid'. easily memorable and memorisable designs are good! more details can be good, especially for rendered pieces, but i find that designs i can easily remember and doodle from memory are the ones that stick and therefore become the base of other designs. the Silhouette Rule is also a good thumb rule, though i tend to be more loose with it - have your characters have one or more. identifiable? bits?? like, yknow, if your characters swap clothes with another what bits tell you this character is this character yknow? like with grian i have the two feather anime hair bits (and dave strider style hair) + four wings and a unique tail! and with philza i gave him antler horn things (because why not its unique ish) and, funnily enough since i dont use facial hair in my designs often his facial hair became a bit of an identifier too! my original character ambrosia has a signature bunny mask, big fwuffy coat, unique hair etc etc things like that!

the (2)nd mcyt design rule i have is literally a personal preference thing - No Humans. again its a personal preference but i. i cant!! theyre not real WHy Do They Have To Be Human!!! they dont!!!!! therefore they are not human. every mcyt if i can get away with it and find a good way to make them Not Human even if its like a simple tail or horns or what have you I Will Make Them Not Human. if they are human (tommy) then it means its like a cool story thing (tommys human) or its temporary until i find a better design (not for tommy) or for the case of Tommy Fuckin Innit idk his Vibes are Too Strong he Cant Not Be Human I DOnt KNow WHY. every character is lowkey on a scale of how many nonhuman features they have - grian with ear wings, four wings + tail, and funky birb legs and occasionally bird hands is on one end of that scale, and funnily enough philza - who by all means is human if not for the antlers (he can take his wings off) is on the other side of that scale. most designs i have are between those, notable exceptions doc who has four legs and a nonhuman face and Fuckin Innit.

now to actual design notes on the characters i drew - first up is grian! he has three sets of wings including his ears. its a personal headcanon that he gains a set of wings for every season of hermitcraft he was in, not including the one hes on now. so he has chicken ear wings (s6, poultry man) parrot wings (s7, pesky bird) and barn owl wings (s8, moon = owl). when the season ends im gonna find a bird thats sufficiently eldritch because with how the season has been going (rocks, entity, rift) it seems fitting. i generally give him glasses because he has them irl and also it fits - though i do tend to forget them because its uncommon in other grian designs and not actually on his mc skin. the tail i originally had as a more,, aquatic one? not that its not one now but like it had the mermaid tail end before. i didnt really like it! it looked cool but i felt like it didnt fit so i looked up more tail fins and chose one that looks vaguely like an axolotls but without the top fin part? if that makes sense. and it fit better and looks better so im proud of it but as is the nature of designs it may change at a later date

for philza i didnt really do anything special. kimono top with a looser bottom cause philza explores a lot, baggy pants and mostly human everything because it surprisingly fits? idk i feel like most phil designs i see lean more on the immortal angel of death thing he has but i feel like its more fitting if hes Just A Guy but hes tenacious enough that he Gains the nonhuman parts. the wings especially - a lot of people add those in by default but actually i feel like its more fitting if he only gets wings when he has an elytra! so on q/smp for example he doesnt have wings (even if he said theyre clipped that one time im a philza has no default wings truther he gets those by elytra and hes so good at them through practice you cannot change my mind). also in addition to the wings the elytra also gives him the coat poncho thing that i drew on grian because why not. also hardcore heart necklace!! hell yeah.

[fragileizywriting]

this will be under a readmore if you’ve actually like to read it: i had a dream today after many months of nothing, and it’s weird like most dreams are. however, there’s a lot about this that i can actually shove into demon lovin, with marinette standing up against xien (i just have to change some things but the concept could still be there)

anyway. i wrote down my dream and here it is

people were watching a movie at an imax, when my character/me showed up. it seems that watching movies while eating was prohibited by law (this can easily be changed to something more interesting) because when my antlers blocked the projector in some way, people began to shift and get up and start to leave.

i think my antlers were moose shaped. i’ve never seen deer irl so i’m not actually sure. maybe reindeer?

when making their way towards me and my family, they made a hand gesture of respect, walking across the aisle in front of us to come face to face but not disturb us. when making it towards me, i would bend my head, and let them touch. it was customary. they provided gifts (it seems like they knew they would be caught) and carried them everywhere with them. artisanal bread. sweets in general, but i remember a marbled bread loaf that i was so enthusiastic to try.

a little boy came up to me. he’d come to the movies with his mother. he hugged me tight and told me he loved me. i couldn’t stop rubbing my hands on his back like i was trying to console him from something. i told him that he was okay and safe (though from what/who, i couldn’t tell)

those who didn’t have food, i sent them off without any consequence. they were thankful, coming to touch my horns, whispering good things.

a man came up to us, with dark clothes and white beard and white hair. without him talking, or saying a word, i stood my ground and i told him that everyone here was safe.

“you’re cheating the law,” he said, looking me over.

“i am not. i’m able to change it at will.”

“i’ll speak to him about this.”

“do so. but no one else except me has something to do about this, and until then, everyone here is free to leave.” when he didn’t budge, i added: “i have the biggest horns in all society. i decide. and i’ve decided that people leave.”

everyone went their ways after that.

i heard from the man: “keep her (me) away from her mother, you know they’re only allowed to speak for thirty minutes per day.”

and i saw my mother leave.

—-

walking out of the movie theatres that opened into a vast, empty, luxury mall, i encountered a woman who popped out of the long overflowing canal river that would cut through the space. she had red hair, a fiery daze, with eyes that spoke of humor and elegance. we made eye contact, and she complemented on my dress. long, flowy, with sleeves the covered the tips of my nails. everything about my costume felt overbearing, from the weight of my horns to the clothes that dragged behind me as i walked.

hers was lighter. she looked like a mermaid with that pearlescent green dress that had different hues depending on what angle i looked at the fabric. up towards her neck, where i had to look up, it was dark sea-green. down to wards her feet was a playful, slightly lighter green. it tickled her bare feet as she walked…

“other mother doesn’t want me here,” she told me.

i’m retrospect, it seems that in this dream, ‘other mothers’ was a term for the accompanying maids. and yet they raised the kids and had just as much power over them because they actually listened.

“other mothers are always bad mothers.”

“not this one.”

“you’re in your thirties and you still listen to your parents?”

“some of us do,” she laughed. she found the mall fountain statues interesting, and ended up climbing into the lap of a handsome, naked man. she couldn’t stop caressing that beautiful face. “it makes us live longer.”

“that’s not a life worth living that long if you don’t make your own decisions.”

“the king is going to be so mad at you.”

“he’s been mad at me before.”

“hmmm yes.” i remembered her tracing the pectoral of the statue. “i think this time will be different, though.”

[simeonist]

The Uniforms

This one almost goes without saying, right? It's bad. It's symbolic of the coming horrors. The teeny glimpse of cape, the medallions, the heavy belts, the yellow arm spikes, the gold trim on one collar, the black slashes on the sleeves, the red embroidery button holes, the little hook-button-holder detail that would be neat for like, a close-up shot the player would rarely see, the teal button-ups that don't complement the colors of any of their neckties - what is the point of all this? There is so much shit going on in such a small space and for what?

I can't even say it would be better if they dialed it back a bit so everything wasn't competing with each other because most of the details are ugly on their own - Belphie ends up looking the best simply because he's doing the least with it and wearing it properly.

Even the simplified Nightbringer chibis feel like they're drowning in details.

They're chibis! They're not supposed to be detailed!

The uniforms are also customized, made to show off each character's personality quirks, like how Mammon is fashionably sloppy, Levi is... sloppy in an unfashionable otaku way, and Beel is... um... also sloppy... but uh. In a gluttonous way.

If Solmare were smart and not a company eager for their own demise, they would have switched to their not perfect but significantly less awful gakuran suits.

Demon Looks

I'm going to leave out Mammon and Beel's bdsm wear since... idk, I think they succeed at being bdsm wear. Asmo also gets a pass because this game frequently has this 2000-ish anime aesthetic and his belted legged demon form is a rare moment where they execute it all right.

The rest of them?

Hell no. Lucifer's comes out on top because his is comparatively boring, but that doesn't mean it's good, with the mismatched peacock feathers and the hip belt. Somehow he looks like when cosplayers don't adapt anime outfits for how they might look irl and go the literalist route. The same is true for his everyday outfit. It looks like cosplay even though he's 2D.

Diavolo... is... I feel like this is offensive in some way, but I'm not sure why. Maybe just to my senses.

But Levi.

You might think that Levi's demon form, with the open belly hoodie that shows his rippling abs, the mesh panel revealing his rippling abs, and the suspenders that clearly aren't holding up or onto anything but emphasize his rippling abs, might tell us something about his character. After all, Lucifer's kinda hints at his prideful, stoic, nature, Diavolo's at his male big-boobed extrovert personality, Belphie is a cow, Beel is a jock, Asmo's kinda horny, and so on.

And it does! His demon form tells us... that Levi has some vague connection with reptiles that won't really be expounded upon in-game. We know this because his jeans carry a reptile skin pattern and he has a lizard tail. also has antlers, which is a bit like a lizard, when you think about it.

Sorry if you were expecting answers for why the depressed debilitatingly shy boy you have to pry out of his shell before he'll do cosplay is introduced in slutwear.

White Suit

I have to call this one out. It's the only costume where I can't find a single nice thing to say about a single one of them. They are all bad. Across the board.

Like the Frankenstein Butler costumes are bad, BUT! If you got rid of the random ass frakenstein stitches, they'd be tolerable - they even have some subtle design markers I appreciate. The Arabian clothes are Solmare at their absolute worst wrt their bad habit of cramming way too much detail without consideration for cohesion or flow, BUT! I like the top half of Barbatos', I like the vibrant colors, and I'm happy with more visible skin.

I have nothing for the white suits. The first time I saw Diavolo's, I started howling. Like the appeal of a white suit is in its simplicity, right? They're not supposed to be art deco'd out. They don't even go together as a cohesive theme - Diavolo with houndtooth, fur, and glitter, Satan with...holographic tails? How are Beel and Solomon's even WHITE suits?

A Surprise for You

I'm calling this one out because this is my favorite event and I recommend you play it if you haven't. Well worth the 20 dp.

It is insane how bad most of them look. These are 2D cartoon images and they ALL look like they're in the kind of 70s polyester they literally don't even make anymore because technology has advanced past itchy sweaty fabric! Their outfits evoke a heavy, unbreathableness, the colors muted and gross. Diavolo is dressed like you're granddaddy out for a night on the town which ngl is charming in its own way and I love his permanently cocked trilby. What the hell are Mammon's butterflies?

(Hey remember when Solmare had a chance to redeem their original shitty crossdressing event and instead they decided no, we're good with using the above sprite to indicate Mammon's in girl-mode? Just wanted to remind you lol)

I will again give Asmo a pass because I genuinely liked his high waisted pants, turtleneck, and heels. If I squint my eyes, Simeon also looks good.

Satan

You knew he was getting his own section.

We all had that moment. The first time you see his demon form, it's "What's with the ribbon skeleton? Is that a boa? Wait the JEANS?? Where did he even get that belt???" But you got over it. Someone had to be the worst.

Then comes his everyday outfit and it's not THAT bad, honestly. I mean, you can't say you like it, and sometimes you find yourself staring, something niggling at the back of your mind. You could argue Belphie or Asmo's is worse, you tell yourself. Sure the spring green of his sweater is kind of off. Sure, his hand pose highlights that the designer really, seriously picked the wrong shade of green for his nails and they especially don't go with that fit. Sure his belt is weirdly flashy for his personality and will you please just wear your jacket normal? Put your arm in the fucking sleeve. Hold on. Are his jeans studded? On the side?

And then you play through the old events. Maybe it's his cat outfit. Maybe it's the time he wore a button-up over his swimsuit. Maybe you got through the later seasons and finally saw his human world look.

And it dawns on you. This is who he is. In a game drowning in terrible costumes, he's still the worst. Even when the others are bad, he stands out. Out of everyone, he's the one that makes you consider that he has to be wearing this on purpose. He wakes up and puts on his skeleton, his boa, and continues about his day.

Honorable mention

Levi and his stupid giraffe pants.

i would like a full breakdown of why nearly every single outfit in obey me is ugly. its not even moderately ugly, If i were to be in public with them, i would be embarrassed. i look at their sprites and am immediately filled with rage.

[maldito-arbol]

Chapter 4 and nerfing Marcy’s eye

Just cause I am finally able to talk about this without spoiling my own fic I wanted to ramble for a minute about my decision to take out Marcy’s eye in IBYBF because it was a PROCESS, and I had been drawing little concept designs since freaking October on my post-chapter 4 Marcy. The very first one I only liked for about an hour before I changed my mind because the arm scars reminded me a little too much of something /else/ so I had to toss it out.

What you’ll notice too is here, her eye isn’t even completely gone. At this point I was still heavily debating it in my head so I put it up to a vote among assorted irl friends and the overwhelming response was…well….bye bye eyeball (oh and Anne’s antler was planned from the very start but as you can probably guess from the chapter drawings, her initial design got scrapped in favor of a Long Boi bc i like it more shut up)

So my next move came as I was writing the chapter itself because Marcy’s eye isn’t the only thing that gets utterly destroyed during the fight. I designed a new Marcy in a new-ish fit with the idea that she gets her armor pieces from Sasha and Yunan, and she keeps her ripped cape just cause she thinks it looks cool. This is where I give her a spiffy lil eyepatch as a callback to her Leviathan design from chapter 5 of PMIT.

Only problem is I wanted the patch to be a meaningful gift from someone and I,,,, could not for the life of me figure out who she could conceivably get it from that would reasonably own an eyepatch and also have a personal connection with her.

SO IT WAS BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD (literally!!) I wondered to myself what else she could possibly do to cover up the gaping hole in her face that would make sense for her character and also feel realistic here… at some point I did toss around the idea of giving her an orange glass eye (hahahahahahahahaha)

But I mean obviously I wasn’t /actually/ gonna do that. So that brings us to where I’m currently at, which is FINALLY something that feels like a natural progression in my fic and also makes a reference to canon, and that is her Maddie and Marcy hairstyle!

In addition to being fun to draw, it’s something she could feasibly pick up from Maddie considering their interactions in my fic thus far. As a bonus Maddie would be totally stoked about it because isn’t matching with a bestie just the greatest?

Finally…I can rest………..but not too much cause I still don’t have chapter 5 done *vibrates* just lots of ideas and nowhere to put them. Pray for mal 2k21

[thatboxylady]

OK I will have you know that I am in love with this AU, thank you for sharing aisygduahsodi.

If you ever write anything or do art, please feel free to share! I crave good Beast Machines content that deviates from canon. Multiverse shenanigans are my crack. The events of my AU unfold similarly, minus Jetstorm’s alternate beast-mode (and that he manages to claw his way out of Blackarachnia’s webbing before the DNA scan can fully finish). There’s no confrontation between him and her immediately afterward since he books it clear out of there. Thrust finds him later, and they hide away from Megatron knowing that showing up half-reformatted in the Grand Mal is probably a Very Bad Idea.  ALSO when my husband @grappler-douche and I first saw your last ask, we spent ages agonizing over what a good idea for a reformatted Thrust beast-mode would be. WE DID SOME BRAINSTORMING and ideas happened. 1) Northwestern Wolf (Canis lupus occidentalis)

Also called a Canadian timber wolf or Alaskan timber wolf. 

My main reasoning for this is that it’s a reference to the awful red herring where Thrust was implied to be Silverbolt. Like. It was a good red herring in theory, but the writers didn’t do anything with it after the fact. It was a plot thread that went nowhere. I’m still mad about it.

Plus, while the “lone wolf” motif is cool, the fact is that wolves IRL do really badly by themselves. They get thrashed around and usually starve to death without their own pack to back them up. Giving Thrust the wolf-mode a reference to how poorly he does on his own without Jetstorm to back him after In Darkest Knight. “Six against one! No one can win against those odds...” This also serves as a throwback to how much of a fun time Waspinator had during Beast Wars. Wasps are a social species, too.

Thrust also has that nice growly voice. Grr. Bike dog go vroom vroom bark. 

2) Red Deer (Cervus elaphus)

THIS IS THE ONE that my husband and I decided on for my particular AU but aisdguhas. I ended up with more justification for this than the timber wolf, if you can believe it. 

One of the themes that I like to focus on when writing Thrust is his lingering frustration with being compared to Silverbolt, despite being his own person. Wolves are natural predators to deer. Thrust turning into a deer is an immediate and aggressive rebuttal to that, elevating him to the status of Silverbolt’s foil without putting him back in his shadow (i.e. giving him the previously mentioned wolf-mode). 

Stag bellowing is also referred to as “roaring.” Bikes roar. My intelligence is fleeting. 

Red deer are also one of the largest deer species. Thrust going from being the smallest of the Vehicon generals to having a decidedly “large” beast-mode is 100% a flex. He deserves it for all the shit he went through. The antlers in his beast-mode could also be incorporated into the handlebars/exhaust feature of a potential secondary bike-mode. Because of course he would still be a bike.

My husband’s humanverse version of Thrust (Thaddeus) is also from Red Deer, Alberta. It’s funny. Also Thaddeus is trans, and does with high enough testosterone levels can still have antlers! Deer are neat. Five antlered white-tailed females cropped up during the 2011 Missouri deer harvest, which is also the state where Thrust’s VA Jim Byrnes is from. 2011 is when I first watched Beast Machines. Look I don’t make the rules I just go where the coincidences take me.

Stags are also notorious for getting themselves tangled up in the antlers of their rivals when fighting, which can lead to them dying from exhaustion. Thrust (quite literally) died fighting Cheetor at the end of Beast Machines, only stopping when his power source in Waspinator’s spark was removed. The fight was already a direct mirror to the “first” fight of Beast Wars being against Cheetor and Waspinator. I am depressed.  3) Antelope Jackrabbit (Lepus alleni)

Also depressed, also very fast, and also will fight you to death. Thrust could be any hare species, tbh. ANYWAYS THERE YOU GO my headcanons are bad. 

[mysticsparklewings]

Once a Killjoy, Always a Killjoy 

I may be a few days late in honoring March 22, the saddest day for My Chemical Romance fans everywhere, but rest assured I did not forget. I've had the idea of drawing myself as/making a Danger Days/Killjoy OC since sometime in either late January or early February, but I put it on the back burner because I didn't want to draw it and not be able to post it for like a month. Then precalc started in early March and I've had other projects in the works, so time just got away from me. I did start concepts about four days in advance, and I was sketching the day before, but I got to a stopping point and wanted to put it away for the day. So I was working on this on the day-of, I just didn't finish it that day. (I went pretty far into the night to finish it.) And then I had some more schoolwork to do, so I figured since I had already missed the actual day, a few more wouldn't make that much of a difference. At the very least, I could say I had worked on it and got it done. Anyway, the idea has roots in the studying of the band's outfits I did for my Killjoys, Make Some Noise! piece last year to be able to draw them. I had picked up on common traits between the outfits and the "basic construction" if you will, of the character designs. Key points include: • Leather vest/jacket/outerwear • Bold shirt underneath • Jeans with decorative stitching across the thighs • Boots • fingerless gloves and/or bracelets/wrist cuffs • noticeable weapon carrier Additionally, each Killjoy seems to have one small head accessory and one mask/large accessory. I went with a scarf tied around the head for the small one, and though it isn't pictured here, the large accessory I'm thinking would be a cat mask outright or maybe a helmet made to look like a cat skull with deer antlers. Also, the original Killjoys align with one of red, blue, yellow, or green in a given situation, so I decided purple would be my Killjoy's color. In this vein, they also each have a symbol associated with them, based off of their names. After trying a Killjoy Name quiz twice and not feeling like either option (Cyanide Diamond or Thrill-Killer) was right or that they fit with the original Killjoy names (Party Poison, Fun Ghoul, Kobra Kid, and Jet Star), I toyed around with some word association until I came up with Neon Haze, and I think that fits in with the Killjoy names pretty well and suits me personally. And it would illustrate in a symbol fairly well; I didn't fit it into the drawing, but I did design a sparkle with some "cloud lines" to indicate "haze" around it, and I like that. Beyond all of that, I borrowed the design of the hand gloves she's wearing and the knee-high converse for boots from my attempt to pull things out of my closet to dress like a Killjoy last year. The main difference is my converse probably look more-Killjoy-esque in person, as mine have velcro straps with studs crisscrossed down the front. But I really was not into the idea of trying to draw all of that.    The hair was a mixture of deciding that she needed to be another Killjoy with wild hair (Party Poison being the other one), going with the "Neon" part of her name, and this being the next color I have planned for my hair IRL when I go to get it done again. (Which will hopefully be sometime soon.) Also, originally I was going to use some washi tape for the pattern on her shirt, but I couldn't figure out exactly how to do what I wanted, so I just colored & shade it and went back in with my Gelly Roll Moonlight pens to make some kind of flowery-thing. And while we're talking about things I had planned that didn't pan out; She was going to be slinging her weapon over her shoulder, and I was going to use my favorite weapon design from Splatoon 2 (the Sploosh-o-Matic, if anyone's wondering) for it. I sketched the thing out (which was an interesting task to attempt) at about what I think to-scale proportions would be, but then I started trying to figure out placement using my lightbox and it just wasn't working. It looked either weird, or dumb, or both. So I just decided to leave the weapon out. The other thing is the letter behind her. Originally, the o in Neon was going to be the same "haze lines" as in her symbol, but I couldn't get it to not look like a flower, and the a in Haze was going to be the sparkle. Same problem. And originally I didn't plan on having the letters slanted, but that turned out to be the best way to fit the letters into the 6 inches of space I had to work with without making the letter super fat. (The drawing of Neon Haze herself is nearly an exact 6 inches from her hair to her shoe soles), and I wanted the words to line up on either side of her as you see here.) And I did not plan what color they were going to be. I decided that one I had her all colored in. I ended up doing one layer of the same orange as her headband. Then I went in with my "Permanent Green Tint" and "Hansa Yellow Tint" Pan Pastels to make a nice haze over the background.  Since I haven't used those two colors much and I thought they'd look nice here. They just kinda fit. Also, I went back to outline her with my white Gelly Roll and learned that Pan Pastel does not really like having gel pen put on top of it. Who knew? I had fun and I think she looks good.  (Sassy too,  Her expression got about 50% sassier from sketch to line art) Someone remind me if I ever get to sit down to lunch with Gerard Way to ask him what he thinks.  (Not that that's ever going to happen. But on the highly unlikely chance it does...!) ____ Artwork/Character (c) me, MysticSparkleWings I do not own My Chemical Romance or the associated concepts that inspired this artwork ____ Where to find me & my artwork: My Website | Commission Info + Prices | Ko-Fi | dA Print Shop | RedBubble |   Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram

[crysoulaofthesun]

Klaus

(Mailmen—and all people of the post—are awesome)

Home Alone

(Defend the home and learn independence. Lol)

The Year Without Santa Claus

(Sing songs and secretly jab each other like Cold Miser & Heat Miser. But also be nice to your siblings as best you can)

Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town

(Christmas nostalgia. I remember this song about moving forward...

Oh, 2020... What a year you have been indeed.)

The Life & Adventures of Santa Claus

(Yes, Santa Claus did at one point associate with antler men and fairy people. 😆

And I am going to find and rewatch this old movie somehow. *fires of determination in my eyes*)

Arthur Christmas

(...This movie... really surprised me. It had preciousness at multiple levels and brought value to multiple perspectives. Like... hoo boy. This movie had feels, and clean humor, and family struggles, but also pure wonder & kindness and... 😱🤩🥺😭🤯😲 I just really like & am impressed by this film. So if you want...

Take a look. And if you like it too, share it with someone you think may enjoy it too.)

Elf

(Classic #1)

The Santa Clause

(Classic #2)

Rise of the Guardians

(Not technically the same category. But hey. They have a great scene of Christmas and 2 characters, Jack Frost & North, who extend the feels in the movie for Christmas time.

Debatable, but I put it here because I like the Christmas moments they do have and also good feelings they evoke in you from the movie.)

Miracle on 34th Street

(The patience and humbleness of this man... my gosh )

Well... that’s my gif cap.

Overall, whether you watch new or older Christmas movies, or other kinds of movies, or even no movies at all!

Have a Merry Christmas and honestly a great, peaceful time these next two weeks. I hope you all have a long moment of getting an emotional and mental break from the good and bad stresses of life.

2020 has been a heck of year... I think that’s been said before but 2020 sure took the cake on that saying. It had so many surprises and challenges and... tragedies, too. But also wonderful, good things still happened as well.

Anyway, I wish you all (whoever reads this) well. I don’t know any of you irl, but I wish you well nonetheless. Apocalypse stuff is fun to imagine and all but... I don’t actually want that to happen.

I genuinely hope you all prosper in life, internally and externally, and find joy in something you do or a hobby. I’ll keep praying people grow ever more calmer and kinder... and that one day all people will be honoring and respectful to each other. And compassionate.

Maybe that’s a lot but I will still hope and pray for it. 🙏

Anyway, I’ve probably said it thrice by now, but I will say it again.

Wishing you all the best, with blessings of all kinds of good things and also success in anything from the moment you read this random post and all the way onward into 2021 and beyond that too. (To infinity and beyond!)

Be well and rest well, everyone. :)

[wxtches-energies]

Roots of your craft 30 day challenge (All at once)

Divination. Does it work? Would you use it? What do you think of those who do? Why?

Divination does work, I use it for Tasseomancy and I’m learning other methods now. I think others who use it are a key element in witchcraft, they help advise us.

What do you think Magick actually is? What is the power or force behind witchcraft?

Magick is energy that flows through everything that the universe provides.

How powerful do you believe Magick to be, and why?

Magick is so very powerful if your intention is true to the soul.

What are your beliefs about ethics and morality?

I believe strongly in Karma. Good karma and bad karma. And my motto: literally just don’t be a dick.

Do you think practicing witchcraft will change your views? If so, how?

I’ve been practicing for. Few months now and it’s already helped my view on the earth, we have a beautiful little planet that needs kindness and peace and it provides us with all we need, good energies and sustainability .

Do you plan to be open about witchcraft to people you know? Why or why not?

My mom knows but none of my siblings do. As for friends, I don’t have any who would be okay to tell. But if I find a future friend who I trust, I’ll bring up the topic and see how they react.

What kind of belief system were you raised with? Do you feel it suits you, or are you making a change?

I was raised as a Christian but I don’t believe in religion personally, I believe in the universe.

What was your earliest memorable exposure to the concept of witchcraft? How did it influence your interest in it?

I wouldn’t say I knew it was witchcraft but looking back I can tell it was. I’m naturally very good with animals and way back when I was young I came face to face with a male elk with huge antlers and he was protecting the females who sit close by. I felt scared at first because I was only about 9 and I thought I was going to get hurt but I calmed down and made myself relax and spoke out “excuse me please” and the elk turned and walked away. It made me see that the universe is on my side since I’m very inclined to kindness and simply helping others and working on myself.

Do you think you will work with or worship deities as part of your Craft? Why or why not?

Maybe, but for now I don’t want to. Because I don’t feel inclined to.

Was there a tipping point that convinced you witchcraft was worth practicing? What influenced your desire to learn more and why are you learning about it?

Yes, I haven’t had any good luck all my life, and everything bad keeps happening to me and I’ve had nothing to rely on, so I decided to pursue my inner witch. It’s helped me a lot actually, I feel more connected to the earth.

What kind of witch do you want to become? What kind of witch do you believe you will become?

The kind that helps many people through their lives and teaches people how to start practicing on their own. I want to be kind and pure and do good for everyone.I think I will become exactly who I want to be.

What do you think your life will be like in five years, magically speaking?

I think I’ll be more advanced and wise. I’ll have more supplies for magic and probably will be running my own shop.

What worries you most about learning witchcraft? What might be a risk?

I don’t want to mess with the wrong energies or mess anything up. I especially don’t want to get on the bad side of some spirits.

What excites you most about learning witchcraft? What might be a reward?

I get to learn so much and gain so many good experiences that leave me with good vibes and good karma.

If you could list one thing that you hope to gain from practicing witchcraft, what would it be?

I hope to gain self peace and a sense of purpose.

Which of the four classical elements best describes you at the beginning of your journey? (Earth, Wind, Air, or Fire)

Earth, I’ve always been in love with nature and I feel so very connected to the earth.

If you’ve practiced spellcraft, what was the experience of casting your first spell like? If you’ve not yet cast one, what do you think your first spell will be and why?

My first one was a protection/peace spell when I felt paranoid. It worked really well and I became calm and I was able to sleep.

Are there any witches or magicians in fiction or history that you particularly admire? Why or why not?

I don’t know any, although I’m going to start doing a self learning of the history of witchcraft

If you were to think of your beginnings in witchcraft as a certain color, what color would it be and why?

A dull blue.. Blue is my favourite colour but since I was merely a baby witch, my power wasn’t as strong, thus the colour wasn’t either.

What are your general thoughts about newer magical traditions such as pop culture spells, and technowitchery?

I think it’s cool we’re mixing modern witchery with traditional, although I do wish that everyone respects each others paths so no chaos happens over what’s good and what’s bad to believe in.

What are your general thoughts about older magical traditions such as rune Magick, kabbalah and esoteric eastern traditions?

I don’t know anything about them but I’m sure they’re really interesting, I’d love to learn about them and apply some parts to my own practice.

Do you think that tradition is important in witchcraft? Why or why not?

Yes! So important! But it doesn’t need to be followed to the exactness. You can choose how you want to apply tradition to your own practice.

What role do you think dreams play in magical life, if any? Why or why not?

Dreams are very important depending on if you believe they influence your life. Personally I do. Dreams are a form of divination to me.

Are you more aligned with chaos or order in terms of the Magick you have or will practice? What do you think Magick itself is more aligned with?

I’m more aligned with order. I like to keep balance in the world and preferably stay towards the peaceful side. And I think magick itself likes the balance of good and evil too.

Curses. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

I think they work and I will only use them to defend myself. I respect those who use them often but I wish for them to keep peace and kindness in mind.

Blessings and protective Magick. Do they work? Would you use them? What do you think of those who do? Why?

Yes! They do. The universe just wants us to be safe. I use them a lot. And those who use them are thanked by me, we need protection from all.

Do you have an affinity with an animal or type of animal? What does it mean to you? If you don’t, but had to have one, what do you think it would be?

Its a typical animal of most but I admire wolves. They’re leaders and protectors but they can also fend for themselves but always do better in a pack. And to me , it’s very personal. I can lead and I can protect but I can be better on my own , but I also prefer the closest to me to be around me.

Do you think that there is any potential in utilizing certain ritual places or “ley-lines” between ritual places? Why or why not?

(I literally have no idea what this means 0.0)

What role does the archetype of death play in magic to you, if any? Why or why not?

(Again, no idea what this is, I have much to learn)

What do you think of practicing magic in a group setting? What about practicing alone? Why?

I would love to practice In a group , especially IRL as long as no one goes against anyone’s personal path, as a coven, we do coven things, but on our own, we do what we want and believe in. On your own is good as well, you can apply your own opinions and follow your heart without any disturbances.

[daesungindistress]

Carnivores - Additional Notes & Thoughts

Alright, I said I’ve been wanting to write a blog post expanding on a few things in the Carnivores series (with a heavy focus on Dream Likes Ashes Float Away), so here it is! Most of this is stuff I’ve waited to get off my chest since DLAFA.

Warning: SPOILERS for the entire series. Also it’s long (of course it is), so it’s under the “keep reading” below. Also cross-posted at AFF.

FYI: DLAFA = Dreams Like Ashes Float Away, BLTS = Bright Like the Sun

1.) Some of you might be wondering, when the heck does this fic series take place, anyway? Well, here’s your answer: I don’t know! It’s not meant to be a modern-day setting, I can tell you that much. I imagine it taking place somewhere in the early 1800’s, perhaps. It could even be a modern setting and they are just that isolated.

Look, all I know is the guys have zero exposure to modern machinery like cars, trains, planes, etc. They’ve never encountered electricity (outside of bolts of lightning during thunderstorms, lol). So certainly no electronics like phones or computers or TVs. In the city in DLAFA a man takes them to their new home in a cart pulled by a horse, and I took care to make no mention of things like running water or even in-home appliances. Nothin’. That’s not to say that they didn’t have something to work with, I just didn’t feel like doing the research to figure out exactly what...

2.) The details of the land they lived on aren’t actually super important, so you’re free to imagine the landscape in whatever way comes easiest to you. But if anyone is curious, it’s based on the Texas Hill Country (south-central Texas, United States).

3.) The beginnings of Carnivores can be seen in this entry at Tumblr from March 2016. Ultimately, it was all inspired by a single black & white photo from the MADE series collection, the one that I used as the title pic for Carnivores.

It’s funny, in the tags at the bottom of that post I said, “I wish I could write fanfic. I want to.”

4.) As I was writing Carnivores I sort of jokingly called it "watered down werewolves" since, contrary to what you would expect from werewolf fic, the guys don't actually have the ability to transform fully into wolves. Their ability to morph at all is severely restricted, limited to just teeth and claws. Meanwhile, their one other physical feature that identifies them as not-quite-human-- the wolf tail-- is always with them, unable to be hidden away (more on that later). Some of you might have wondered why I opted to take away this transformation ability. Especially considering that I LOVE that aspect of werewolf lore-- the idea of people taking on the physical form of animals. Shapeshifting, if you will. That was the "superpower" I always wanted as a kid; the ability to become whatever animal I desired for however long I wanted. Because animals are so much cooler than humans, duh (says my inner 8-year-old self).

Well, as it so happens... the primary reason I took away their "wolf form" is because I didn't want to risk venturing anywhere near the idea of animal-on-animal sex. "But you could have just avoided writing about that," you might be thinking. And yes, you'd be right, but even displays of affection from one wolf to another I just did not even want to touch. Not even cute, innocent things like wolf!Seunghyun licking all over wolf!Daesung's face in excitement, etc etc. I just thought that if I was not meticulously careful about it, the potential to squick readers beyond repair was far too high.

Because let's face it, Seunghyun in this series is going to give Daesung some lovin’ no matter what "form" he's in (same goes for Daesung regarding his attraction to Seunghyun), and given the, hmm... intensity of his devotion... I'm not confident I would have been able to steer completely, 100% clear of all types of physical intimacy between them while they were in the shape of... well, wolves. Look, when it comes to fanfic (especially this series) I'm not one to pull my punches, sugarcoat things, tone it down, etc... but even I have to draw the line somewhere!

That said, I almost didn't even give them tails. Thought it seemed a little silly, maybe a tad gimmicky. I wrestled with that one for a long time, and in the end said, "Oh, whatever," and went with it. And I'm glad I did, because the presence of their tails became something of an important plot point later on in DLAFA.

5.) Y’all might not realize how much of what happens in this series is based on or influenced by events that took place IRL, considering that it is an alternate universe. It began as a series of observations on Tumblr, various posts of mine that accumulated over time as things relating to Daesung or ToDae came up. Here are some examples below:

Hair pulling in Carnivores? That’s from the video clip of TOP pulling on Daesung’s hair until he made a pained face during the MADE tour in Japan. (1, 2, 3)

Seunghyun putting his head down and chasing Daesung around like a bull (or like a buck using his antlers to herd a doe) in BLTS? Also from a video clip from MADE tour in Japan. TOP chased Daesung around the stage like that.

Daesung’s fear of dogs and water? Based on his comments in the MADE the Movie pamphlet.

Seunghyun saying to Daesung in New Heights, “If I wanted to kill you, I could have done it so many times by now.” This comes from TOP telling Daesung at the MADE: The Movie premier, “You know I could kill you if I wanted to.” (1, 2)

Discussions of Seungri possibly leaving the pack to form his own in DLAFA? That’s based on a debate I was having with some disgruntled Seungri fans on Tumblr, fans who were upset about Seungris’ alleged mistreatment by the rest of BB and wanted him to leave the group to go somewhere he might be better appreciated. It was around that time that I wrote that bit into the fic.

Seungri’s role as the pack omega? This one should be obvious. Replace “omega” with “maknae” and there you go.

I’m sure there’s more that I just can’t remember off the top of my head anymore. Anyway, none of this should come as a surprise. It’s fanfiction, of course it’s based on what the guys do IRL…

6.) There were a lot of idiomatic expressions I couldn’t use while writing this series. It felt at times like my language options were very limited. Was an interesting challenge, for sure, but not always one I enjoyed. For example, I could never say anything that related to electronics or machinery. There was a time I wanted to describe Daesung’s body as operating on autopilot, until I suddenly realized that word wouldn’t make any sense to him in the context of his world. Keep in mind the story was always told from the perspectives of Seunghyun and Daesung, never an omniscient narrator.

So, autopilot? No way, not in their world. Cars, planes, trains… none of that existed at that time. Or if it did, the guys of BB as they appeared here didn’t know about it. That also meant I couldn’t say things like “train of thought” or “thoughts derailing”. Nothing about lightbulbs going off over one’s head, and certainly never anything “like a switch has been flipped.” I think there was even a time in Carnivores when they were weak and starving and I wanted to describe them as "running on empty"... but that's a reference to cars and fuel! It was challenging, y’all!

What I did instead was try to use a lot of nature metaphors, imagery relating to the natural world, things they would know well. I know I could have done more, especially in BLTS given that they were living fully out in the thick of it at the time... but by the end of it, trying to keep up with what imagery I had already used was honestly just starting to make me feel wiped out.

7.) Some lines that appeared in DLAFA were mirrored versions of lines from Carnivores. For example:

In DLAFA Daesung said, “Does it matter who it came from when it costs us nothing? It's good meat, and it was free.” You might have wondered why, exactly, Seunghyun was so upset that he walked out. It’s because Daesung was, without realizing it, throwing Seunghyun’s words back at him. In Carnivores Seunghyun said, as he was begging Daesung to eat, “Does it matter where the meat came from when you're dying? It’s good meat.”

Oh jeez, I just realized that all this time I thought I had written something into Carnivores but I never did… In DLAFA Seunghyun says to Daesung, “How can I help you if you won’t let me know that you’re hurting?” I thought that was mirroring a line in Carnivores where he said, “How can I provide for you when you won’t let me know that you’re hungry?” But I’ve just looked and apparently I never wrote that. Darn! Even after the fic is finished I’m still adding lines to it, even if only in my head...

8.) I feel like there are not too many good quotable lines of dialogue in this series. The best lines are not in the dialogue but in the narrative, which reflects their thoughts. The reason for this is I have always intended for them to be, hmm... simpler creatures. Their thoughts are deeper than their words. That’s partly because of what they are (part human, part animal, living very simple lives) but it’s also because I feel like that’s what’s real (especially when it comes to guys, haha). You know, we don’t always speak as eloquently as we’d like when we don’t have the time to perfectly compose our thoughts. Flowery speech is nice to read and all, but I didn’t think it would be quite right for the guys, especially as they appear here.

9.) Tags & warnings. This applies more to AO3 since AFF’s tagging system is so limited. I try to tag my fics as thoroughly as I can without getting excessive. However, there were a few important warnings I chose not to use, much as I hated to do that, because I couldn’t bear to ruin the surprise of it. In Carnivores it was cannibalism. In DLAFA it was forced sex with an animal. Honestly, I didn't want to warn for rape in Carnivores either, but I will always warn / tag accordingly for rape.

10.) DLAFA is meant to highlight the contrast between Seunghyun’s and Daesung’s personalities and unique approaches to life more than ever before. They both enter the same environment but adapt to it in vastly different ways. Daesung embraces their new lifestyle, not because he loves it but because he feels like it’s what he needs to do, and loses sight of himself along the way. Seunghyun rejects it, and though his inability to fit in keeps him feeling extremely unhappy, he refuses to give up his identity for the sake of anyone else. Both of them think they are doing the right thing. And in the process they slowly grow apart.

11.) The DLAFA soundtrack. I know most of you probably haven’t listened to the soundtrack, and that’s okay! Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have either, lol. But I would still like to talk about parts of it because, in my mind, it’s actually an important accompaniment to the fic. And up ‘til now all I’ve done is list the songs out and explain whose perspective they’re from. I’d like to take a few moments to do a little more than that.

Shadows, Feed the Machine, Faceless, Let It Burn These do not correspond to any particular scene. They’re kind of general songs that describe the guys’ mindsets as they’re developing throughout the first 4 chapters of the fic.

Take It All Away This is connected to Daesung’s rape scene toward the end of Chapter 5. It starts out slow and very subdued. In its initial stages I imagine him addressing Seunghyun, singing quietly about his internal struggles, saying, “you watched me while I slowly disappeared” and pleading with him to “take it all away.” But then he sings, very softly,

I’m breaking, I can’t do this on my own

Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?

After that is when he is attacked on the streets. He does “scream out,” but he is silenced before anyone who might help him can hear. And he realizes at that point that this time he is on his own. Unlike in Carnivores, the others won’t be running to his aid; this time he’ll have to save himself. From that point the music plays-- no vocals, just music that builds and swells, becoming bigger and bolder and more painful the longer it goes on.

This is… this is as it’s happening. This is as they are taking from him-- his dignity, his stability, his sense of self, his hope for an untroubled life in this new world he and his packmates have entered. By the end of it the singer is crying out, his voice growing in strength and pain the more he says it, “You take away, you take away, you take away.” By that point I don’t see Daesung speaking to Seunghyun; I see him speaking instead to his attackers after they’ve left him, shifting focus. There is a line in the fic that reflects this. It’s as they are about to take his tail:

They have taken too much from him already. They will not take this from him too.

Lie To Me This is Seunghyun all throughout Chapter 6 after Daesung has been hurt but refuses to share with him what happened and pulls away sharply. This one’s pretty good. Lines like, “All your secrets crawled inside, you keep them safe, you let them hide.” And “Lie to me, watch me bleed, but I’ll still be here when you see you’re not alone. You don’t have to run.” Because even through it all, though it hurts Seunghyun that Daesung doesn’t trust him with the truth of whatever it is that happened to him, he tries to be there for him for as long as he can stand it…

Nothing And Everything This one is important. This song is the moment Daesung finally breaks at the end of Chapter 6, and his suicide attempt that follows. The suffering throughout is subtle (unlike Take It All Away which gets very harsh at the end), and even eerie in places... it sounds not quite right. It's also as beautiful to hear as it is painful. Let me break it down:

00:00-02:32 Daesung struggling to cope through Chapter 6

Still the same, pursuing pain isn’t worth the lie I’ve gained

We both know how it will end… but I do it again

And it finds me, the fight inside is coursing through my veins

And it’s raging, the fight inside is hurting me again

02:33-03:08 The moment when he realizes Seunghyun has been unfaithful and feels like that’s it-- he’s finally lost the last thing he had left. His everything. That high-pitched squealing sound in the background? That’s something vital in him crying out one final time.

03:09-03:30 This is when he’s walking the city streets at night, on his way to the river. It’s beautiful-- just like the night sky above him-- but he’s blind to it and everything else around him.

03:31-03:50 Standing on the shore, reflecting.

The war within me pulls me under

Without you, the fight inside is breaking me again

03:51- end Daesung entering the water. It’s everything, it’s everything, oh…

Hymn For The Missing This is Seunghyun standing on the river bank as he holds Daesung’s coat and wonders what, exactly, went so wrong. He thinks, Daesung survived, Daesung is alive, but after everything, if he was so far gone as to do something like this, has he really come back to him? Will he ever be the same? Seunghyun wonders, has he lost him forever?

Where are you now? Are you lost? Will I find you again?

Are you alone? Are you afraid? Are you searching for me?

Why did you go? I had to stay. Now I'm reaching for you.

Will you wait? Will you wait? Will I see you again?

Pieces, Hold Me Now, Yours Again are all part of Daesung’s path to recovery.

The Outside This is while Seunghyun is tearing into Daesung’s attackers toward the end of the fic, taking revenge in Daesung’s stead. However, the song is sung from Daesung’s perspective.

I'm not you.

I'm not you.

I will never be you.

Best Is Yet To Come This one is really good, y’all. It’s exactly what its title implies. This is as the five of them are leaving the city at last, once again in search of a better home for themselves. It’s so hopeful yet bittersweet, as they call on memories of all they left behind.

After all that we’ve been through, after all we left in pieces

I still believe our lives have just begun

And now the past can be outrun, and I know you are the reason

I still believe the best is yet to come

Who We Are An empowering song that I imagine would play in the credits if this fic was a movie (lol)

We can be who we are, now we are alive

We can fight, they cannot contain us

Won’t hide our faces from the light, eliminate the space between us

It’s who we are, we are forever

12.) Daesung’s suicide attempt… Look, normally I would not go anywhere near attempted suicide in fanfic, if only because I think it can be a tricky thing to portray believably. Or maybe that’s just me being overly critical. The last thing I wanted was for it to feel like it came at the readers out of nowhere. I only hope that I provided enough buildup in the chapters leading up to it-- tens of thousands of words showing how Daesung was slowly breaking down, all of which accelerated very quickly after his rape-- that it didn’t feel carelessly handled.

For the record, I also normally am not fond of that trope where a character loses their significant other for some reason or another and, deciding that they literally cannot live without, decides to end it all. But you have to understand that Daesung was already in a very fragile state of mind. Also, within the context of this AU, for Seunghyun and Daesung, given how much of their identities are found in each other… I didn’t think it would be too far-fetched that this would be the final blow for Daesung, who had already withstood so much. Their lives are not our lives. Their existence is far simpler and I would argue that they have considerably less to live for than we do. (I decided to explore this a bit in BLTS, their life-and-death attachment to each other.)

13.) In the 2015 criminal case of People v. Turner, the young woman who was sexually assaulted wrote a detailed letter to the judge about her experience, which was made public, and I took a peek at it. In it she said, after she had been given back her things and was showering at the hospital, "I wanted to take off my body like a jacket and leave it there at the hospital with everything else." While I'm still not sure I feel 100% okay about it, I drew inspiration from her account. I changed her words to 1) avoid plagiarizing her and 2) reflect the world of nature that Daesung knows so intimately and finds himself suddenly yearning for again. What I ended up with was, "He wants to shed his body like a snake sheds its skin and leave it there in the river." This is, of course, also foreshadowing, as he does return to the river later.

14.) Some of you might have wondered why Seungri didn’t suffer quite as Daesung did in DLAFA, given that he also was, to an extent, enjoying his time among humans and putting himself out there in a risky way (enough that he had his own little fanclub, lol). Shouldn’t he have been just as open to attack as Daesung?

Well, the way they presented themselves as individuals to the townsfolk in DLAFA was based on how I see them portrayed in their solo work (away from the group/pack, if you will). Seungri’s solo image is a bit strong (Strong Baby, anyone?), a bit aggressive– a man who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to pursue it. In DLAFA, any time he was persecuted, he fought back and made sure that anyone who bothered him knew it was in their best interest to leave him alone.

On the other hand, with a few notable exceptions like Look at me Gwisoon (not meant to be taken seriously at all…) and perhaps Shut Up (not as strong as it initially sounds), Daesung’s solo image is practically harmless. It’s soft and sweet and sincere. It’s even vulnerable at times (hence why the whole "Yabai Kang" thing cracks me up). “Don’t let them lose their fear of you,” Seunghyun warned him. But that’s exactly what Daesung did. He thought he could get through to the people who picked on him through kindness alone. I don't mean to say that what happened to him was in any way his fault, only that it made him an “easier” target for hate than, say, Seungri.

At one point Daesung mused to himself that Seungri would break if he were to be assaulted in the same way. Seungri wouldn't be able to handle it, he thought. Keep in mind that those were simply Daesung's troubled thoughts, not necessarily truth. Just because he was thinking it didn't mean it was fact, especially not at that point in the story. Daesung was only trying to justify what had happened to him-- was desperately searching for that silver lining. He was attempting to make himself feel better by essentially telling himself, "It's better that it happened to me instead of him." In this way he also sought to convince himself that he was handling it just fine-- "bending" under the pressure instead of breaking-- when in fact, he really wasn't.

15.) In DLAFA, when Seunghyun went after Daesung’s attackers a part of me wanted Daesung to go with him. I wrestled with that part for awhile. I envisioned Seunghyun encouraging Daesung to-- what, give in to violence? Take his revenge for himself?

Think of it like the feeding scene in Carnivores, wherein Seunghyun took Daesung by the head and pushed his face into the animal’s carcass, practically forcing him to eat. And then there was that one force-feeding scene. Seunghyun forced a lot on Daesung in Carnivores, all in the interest of keeping him alive. Here I saw Seunghyun taking Daesung by the hand and pushing it inside the man’s ruined body, forcing him to feel just how weak and powerless he’d become. E.g., “He can’t hurt you anymore.” Seunghyun would think that a necessary part of the healing process. He would believe it’s the best thing for Daesung in that moment.

But that has never been Daesung’s character. That might be what Seunghyun would need were he in his place; it wasn’t what Daesung needed. I honestly felt like him reaching down, reaching in and wringing the life from that man, though he had wounded and scarred him badly, would do nothing but hurt him in the end. It’s just who Daesung is-- werewolf or not. Too kind, too gentle to take pleasure in that. Inflicting pain for any reason other than self-defense (or to hunt and feed himself, of course) would not bring him healing, only more pain. And in the end I decided Seunghyun would acknowledge that by not forcing him to join him. Daesung had been forced into enough by that point.

(Someone pointed out that Seunghyun on the floor, tearing out the man’s innards, with Jiyong standing by watching, seemed like a nod to the Zutter M/V. That was pure coincidence-- or subconscious influence! I had only seen the Zutter vid once, long ago, and had completely forgotten about that part.)

16.) In each long fic in the series (Carnivores, DLAFA, BLTS) the words “I love you” are spoken only once. This stems partly from my own aversion to the phrase; I just feel like it’s overused and there are better ways to show one’s love than speaking the words all the time, especially for these two. In Carnivores and DLAFA it’s Seunghyun who says it to Daesung. In BLTS it’s Daesung who says it (although it comes out more like “I love you” as in, “It’s you I love, not him.”)

17.) In Laying Claim it was mentioned that Daesung’s neck isn’t all that marked up. Certainly not as badly as in Carnivores. Daesung’s attacker points out that he sees a “few marks here and there, nothing much.” Then, “Your so-called mate must not be too concerned about holding onto you.” Of course, in Carnivores the scars up and down Daesung’s neck and across his back and shoulders are given much attention. The implication here is that Seunghyun started marking Daesung more heavily after the events of this fic. I know it’s subtle, but eh.

18.) I hope the events of BLTS will make it clearer why Seungri was so affected by Daesung’s suicide attempt in DLAFA. When I wrote DLAFA I thought it was enough to show that he and Daesung were quite close, through the numerous scenes of the two of them out and about together. Of course, it also hurt him badly because he saw it happen firsthand, and he was the one to pull him from the water. He was there in the moment, even if he didn’t realize what he was seeing right away. And I wanted to show how when one person tries to take his life, the impact of it is never limited to just that person; it affects all their loved ones.

What made it worse for Seungri was how easily he could have missed it, how easily Daesung could have succeeded. He had trailed Daesung only “because he was bored,” he confessed later. Nothing more. He was just bored and so was curious about where Daesung was going, had nothing better to do and followed him out the door on a whim. I imagine that many times throughout the walk to the river Seungri thought about turning back. ‘This is boring too,’ he must have thought. ‘There’s nothing interesting happening here. I should just go. I should leave him alone.’ How easily things could have ended differently. How easily.

However, now, after writing BLTS, I’ve added the element of Seungri’s pre-existing abandonment issues-- issues that Daesung (and the rest of the pack, yes, but Daesung more than the rest) helped him work through in their first year together. It must have felt to him like Daesung had been aiming to leave them behind-- to leave him. In DLAFA, after pulling Daesung from the water, Seungri says, “Don’t leave us."

So yes, in BLTS Daesung saved Seungri’s life... and in doing so proved to Seungri his strength (and finally earned his respect). I think it’s appropriate that years later, in a moment when Daesung’s strength failed him, Seungri was able to return the favor.

19.) Honestly, the way I see it, the city and its human occupants in DLAFA were, objectively, not as terrible as they might have seemed. Most of the humans there were tolerant enough. Many were even kind. But it just wasn't right for BB. Their reasons for staying as long as they did were pretty simple, nothing elaborate. First being that it served as a place for them to rest and recover from the toll their travels had taken on their bodies.

Another reason for their extended stay was simply this: carrying through with the decision to pick up and leave one's current life is always much easier said than done. Too often we find ourselves in an 'okay' place with an 'okay' job, maybe in an 'okay' relationship. It's not really what we want but we convince ourselves that we're content to settle, to live an overall 'okay' existence because the fear of leaving it all and ending up somewhere worse is too great to overcome. That's what you see in DLAFA. Daesung did his best to embrace his new life there. Seunghyun hated every second of it. The other three were mostly okay with it, barring a few important drawbacks. Keep in mind that half the story was told from the perspective of Seunghyun, who with his wild nature was the worst possible candidate for adapting to a lifestyle of such restriction. His loathing for the city and everything it represented was greater than that of all his packmates' combined, and his narrative is thickly colored by that.

But when it comes down to it, their main reason for staying at length was simply... hope. Hope that they had perhaps found this wondrous place they'd only ever heard about in tales told them by others of their kind. The question is, did they find it after all? Was it indeed the city of legend that they sought, or was it another city altogether that just so happened to have a similar policy of accepting wolves inside its walls? That's up to the reader to decide.

20.) At this time I can’t imagine writing about their lives after leaving the city. Not beyond that tragically short epilogue, anyway. I just can’t imagine following up that closing line with anything. In my mind it’s the perfect end for this story of survival and, through it all, enduring love:

Life, the melody that carries them, goes on.